Will & Rusty's Playdate - my naked polaroids got leaked

Episode Date: July 28, 2025

Will and Rusty break down doing stand-up comedy in a Catholic church, what to do when a pizza randomly shows up at your door, and whether or not we actually swallow spiders in our sleep. Plus, Lauren pulls a viral prank on Rusty, and the gang debates whether a Playmate is the a**hole for not letting a friend crash on his couch. Finally, the boys play the hits and draft country songs and sayings that don’t exist. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP OUR MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/ RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: UPGRADE YOUR WARDROBE AND SAVE ON @TRUECLASSIC AT https://www.trueclassic.com/PLAYDATE #trueclassicpod CONTROL BODY ODOR ANYWHERE WITH @SHOP.MANDO AND GET $5 OFF YOUR STARTER PACK (THAT’S OVER 40% OFF) WITH PROMO CODE PLAYDATE AT https://shopmando.com/ #MANDOPOD 00:00 Intro 01:07 Naked Photos 05:19 Those F*ckin’ Italians 08:22 Cool Priests 17:22 Fear of Dispensaries 24:35 Weekend Tragedies 29:43 Mount Rushmore 35:23 Family Names 47:05 Rusty’s Trip to the Flea Market 51:48 Roadmap 56:08 Pitch Submissions 01:07:19 Pitches 01:12:55 AITA 01:22:46 This Guy Rocks 01:28:50 Drafts #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

play date episode 126 saquon barkley nice okay now let's try and name a 26 year old oh my sister saquon barkley your sister's 26 let's use she'll be 27 in september i would i would tread very lightly 24 you thought she was 24 yeah you thought she was i thought she was like 17 that's why i haven't done anything about it yet jesus christ all right all right i was trying i was like doing you that wasn't a thing that i said that was still in the round 26 right yeah right okay google barclay naked no body issue espn body issue google saquon barclay body issues and it's him being like i'm too jabbed and then put in put espn body nice nice wow uh google wow i didn't even know he had one lucky guess

damn we should do one of those willy espn body issue no no like our own like a photo almost friday media body issue that was one of our uh that was one of our fantasy punishments we did weekly punishments so whoever whoever scored the least amount of points that week had to do a random punishment and one of mine was do a body issue we'll put a picture of it what does i mean i had to go into my backyard and be serious and to do a do a full like full nude no i mean i was covering myself but we had an art project in when i was a freshman in college i love our project college uh we we were we were having this party where every year uh like the new guys in the fraternity make art pieces and then you we hang them up across the house and everyone brings dates

and they have to come around and ask you about your art piece and peter buell took naked polaroids of all of us and put them up but we like would cover our generals in creative ways so like mine was i was in the laundry room of our dorm and i was like reaching for something on top of the dryer and then like using perspective the tide pod bottle was just barely covering my my penis but then we lost it so somewhere out there there was a board with with like 20 naked polaroids of where where what was your address like i wanted the naked polaroids of them learn like i was gonna fucking like jerk off to it or something you ever taken in a naked photo um no no you don't have to lie i don't like in what context i don't know what do you just any

context maybe okay not in a long time would you like to let was it to send to someone or was it yeah yeah okay like i think you know there were some risque snapchats right significant others in the past perhaps we're talking when i was like a kid yeah and a young adult we're talking we talk in crotch we talk in we talk in abs we talk in butt abs were never an option

that's what girls in like middle school they're not exactly there's a reason it hasn't really happened in a very long time I don't really have

much to offer I remember girls girls in like when I was in like middle school being like like Snapchat had just come out

and they'd be like send an ab pic and I'd have to be like oh I just I'm just so tired my camera's broken my back camera's broken yeah i yeah i'm i'm not sending a lot of risque photos these days but i should start i know i

just every time i talk to every time i talk to guys that are uh that are doing well with with like single guys that do well with women they do take risks like that and i think like that's why neither of us ever not like we're not advocating sending crotch shots what you're talking about like abs i know i just meant yeah maybe i meant maybe i did mean crotch shots i don't really know i don't really know what i meant i think i've sent i think i've taken less than uh less than five pictures of my penis and i've probably sent one all right someone's gonna have to kill that fly you just send the same one every time i mean i've never sent the same one every week it's never uh it's never really come up no one yeah no one's begging for that yeah it

was never an issue that i wasn't comfortable taking them because no one was ever asking yeah no i i definitely am oh what are we talking about now i don't think girls like any photos like that yeah it's not a it's it's not a handsome part of your body even even like on dating apps if someone takes a mirror selfie immediately no and like sends it to you like it's in their it's in their it's in their profile yeah don't be doing all that yeah i when i was making my hinge i felt like it was a a delicate balance of uh you have to find photos where you look good but it none of them can look like you think like you like wanted them to be taken yeah yeah it's like some everyone wants candid photos of themselves but you can't you can't ask yeah

you can't ask i agree what were you saying you wanted to talk about before the pod started um we were just talking those fucking italians oh yeah i'm sorry these were literal italians that our boss edge as you may have heard his name come up somehow got right i guess he was like he he owed a favor to someone like he was like a teacher anyway he brought a school of like 40 italian it was so many dude i thought it was gonna be like 10 of them it was like a handful he was like we're gonna have some italian kids come by the office and he asked me he's like well Can you speak to some Italian kids? And I was like, first of all, he phrased it like that.

And I go, I don't speak Italian. He goes, no, in English. They're both romance languages. And so I went, we had finished our pod. And then we go out, and there was 40 Italian kids. Well, we hear the cheering. Yeah, we could hear it during the last segment. They loved clapping.

And she goes, Will, tell them about what your podcast does. And I literally was like, duh, but we talk about duh. We do like segments sometimes. Some segments, not all segments. But then we talk about whatever's going on in our life or a few things that we've. And then I just got and then I was like petering out and I just went, oh, I threw a cheeseburger 49 yards today. No reaction.

Yeah, I heard that. And then I go meters, nothing. And that was it. I have never seen that many Italians in one place. Yeah, ever since the frickin. You got it. I was in the frickin Coliseum. Yes.

Those probably weren't Italian. Mondays, am I right? For context. Why were they here? That doesn't make any sense. And they were, he kept showing them around, and the only thing I gathered from it was, he was like, yeah, they're doing a tour of Los Angeles,

and they're trying to get a feel for, like, you know, what working in America is like. And I was like, this is, there are literally, I can count on one hand the amount of, like, workplaces that are probably comparable to this he also showed them the almost friday tv video who made me have that game no liam did they called they called liam and they were like liam do you want to talk about like right when he left our pod they were like tell him what you do here then he just grabbed the remote and put on put on i that's not what i heard that's what uh

dylan walker told me oh that's i heard that liam was asked like what's what's the best almost friday tv video to show and he was like i think the biggest one's gay dreams the edge was like okay anyway regardless he put on gay dreams for mind you italian these kids are like 15 yeah and uh apparently they made halfway through gay dream and had to stop it and turn it off yeah yeah i did that was that was not the right that was not the right call i think those italian kids are gonna go back and be america is fucking berserk there's one of their office one of the rooms in their office is a fake room and there's just a bottle of bourbon a thing of seven up and 15 empty beer cans

and no fourth wall. There's just three walls. That's what I'm looking at right now. Lauren, you got that you got that like church trip on right now. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm I look like a kindergarten teacher. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to church on Saturday. Really? Yeah. For

wrong purpose? I was visiting This isn't Chick-fil-A. No, my grandparents took me to took me and my sister my sister's friend and flan to mass they go on saturdays because they're they're wait your grandparents live in dana point oh and uh and uh they started going on saturdays because during

the fall they don't want to miss the bills play so they go on saturday evening and uh the they were like we're gonna go early you know father wants to meet you and so i like met the priest outside and it was holy shit you got a picture but he was like no he just met he had met my sisters i hadn't i hadn't met him yet and he's talking like a completely not that priests aren't normal guys but he's talking like too normal he wasn't like good to meet you jack thank you for coming no it'd be like he was like we were talking about horseflies and he was like yeah those are a bunch of bs right i was like okay like what what's that stand for yeah but he and so i left the conversation being like that's a guy that he's like a normal guy whatever and

they were like yeah he used to be a stockbroker and then he just wanted to be a priest so that's why he like was living a completely what kind of faith is it catholic oh damn yeah because that's like a more intense one i think yeah but it's like west like people were in there wearing like hawaiians and like flip-flops like it's like interesting relatively relaxed or whatever but um but he he was hilarious when we were talking outside and then i was like i can't wait to see this guy you know be serious and he got up there and literally did like you know two minutes of stand-up like in between each like real lesson like he had the whole the nights at columbus were there and they were like rolling out of their fucking chairs it was the funniest thing

i've ever seen and i kept looking at my grandma being like is he like is he like doing stand-up or no she was like yeah he's hilarious and so it was like it kind of was the perfect profession for him because he did he would get into these like very serious you know uh we would like read a bio verse and he would compare it to his life and then what was the gospel about what was the sermon uh the the theme was mostly about like doing service not not for reasons like you know like look at me i'm doing this but more like out of the goodness of your heart wanting to you know um do work whatever he used this one thing where this this woman martha uh was like stressed about jesus apparently showed up at their house and they didn't have anything prepared and one sister

sort of freaking out and was like running around and like you know distracted doing the work and the other was like sitting and listening to jesus and he talked about that and then he compared that to when he was a kid his grandmother would like get up at 6 a.m to like start making the sauce for dinner that night and he was like she was like joyful about it so he was trying to say do things for other people uh in a in an excited way not like out of uh just because you like think you have to do it got it yeah it was actually pretty i'm not i'm not doing it justice but it was it was it was pretty interesting that was well well delivered um but yeah he it was it there was a part of me that was like that would have been i didn't realize that there was a type

of priest that you could be that yeah it made me be like that would have been kind of a fun path to go down like he seemed like yeah he was up there and he just had he was in cool robes and all expenses paid you'd have it made yeah he just it was but it was it was it almost felt like he was going to go to an open mic that night he was testing some stuff on us first that would be a good like hook for a for a comedian the catholic like you could do like nate bargetti right he doesn't like react anything dirty i there was a priest at my school when i went to catholic school and uh he had a family yeah and i i was like that what the hell and i found out the one loophole if you want to be a catholic priest with the family is if you're like a protestant priest and because

they're allowed to have families then you can switch you can switch in and they don't make you get rid of your family so he had a wife and two kids and he was a catholic priest that's kind of a it's like i was like this guy fucking game the system it's like when a guy goes overseas first so he doesn't have to get drafted and then he can like pick what team he wants to go to after oh yeah i don't know like in war i was like oh no no no no it's the other way around it's like how eli manning was like nope not not playing for the journey so this this priest had a family uh but that was because before he was a priest his wife passed away and so he became a priest because of that oh and that's allowed yeah that's interesting and he has uh he has a few ways to

hack it yeah i mean i would i think he would probably take his wife over to the back but but uh yeah if you want to say i wouldn't have phrased it that way but yeah you can if you want but it was nice i every priest i ever had was fucking pretty weird monsignor monsignor brovy i don't remember a different guy whatever monsignor whoever at uh at saint bart's in capel is with maine yeah i liked him uh but yeah he's he put me to sleep this guy had me have i ever showed you father leo pull him up Google Father Leo Lancaster, PA. I'm just saying, all the stuff comes out about the church.

It's like, I wonder which priests were the bad ones. And this guy's look is doing him no favors. I'm not putting any slander on his name. I don't think he did anything wrong. Right. But look at that first picture. Wait, he's so cute. No, he's a sweetie pie.

Be nice to him. Wait, he's so cute. Oh, we didn't. I don't think we liked him for some reason. not yeah anything bad but i just remember when when the priest stuff was coming my brother goes like ain't no way this is what this guy looks like yeah my my grandfather was like and i'm also slandering this guy's name on national tv so i'm sorry father leo he's he's he's at home wearing his a pleasure having class head he's just like what also i remember one time we went

in a bar with my priest how was that it was not like it was like my grandma was like they ran the church and so like they had some like a thing and the priest showed up and was like ordered a beer and i went like are you guys fucking seeing this i'll just have a water that's funny but i didn't i didn't it never occurred to me that they could drink alcohol yeah that's when he ordered a beer i was like someone say something i didn't know i honestly didn't know they could yeah they can drink they can like watch tv and stuff right yeah but nothing provocative uh i think they can watch like can they watch things that have like swears and stuff like handsy over the pants stuff i think it's fine but i don't i think once they go full frontal that's when it becomes like

what did you say can they watch tv the the thing after that you said but nothing inappropriate nothing provocative nothing provocative yeah i mean i guess i think they can kind of do most things yeah this one can they smoke dope no definitely not but like that's not in the bible i don't know can priests do drugs no they're generally no they generally avoid drugs at all unless a doctor insists they need the church recognizes that there are drugs that are allowed to be used recreationally dude yeah this kind of

sounds like imagine getting faded in church in the imagine or imagine get bro got

they go to communion and he's like bro I got it's time for communion and the priest is like

I got so faded I ate all the body of Christ all the body of Christ all the body that stuff was good no

I never liked it literal cardboard I knew a girl that, or Casey knew a girl that would, you can just buy the Eucharist on Amazon. She would dip them in hummus. She just liked the way they tasted. You've ever seen that sketch where the guy's like, cardboard. What? Talk about the Eucharist.

I went to Cookies last night. Cookies. What is that? The dispensary. Yeah, the one in Brentwood. Oh. Great. More drugs for you.

for some reason when i go in like i know a fair amount about weed like i'm not i'm not like the most well read but in terms of like the edibles that i take i feel like i can speak on how they make me feel when i go in there i forget like everything and it's sound i always sound like either this is the first time i'm ever buying weed or i'm like a cop who's trying to remember yeah thing i've grabbed my wilds that i like and the lady was like what do you it's wild what are you looking for today and i was like you know i you know i traditionally like uh indica because that's you know what makes me feel a little bit more calm and i was just holding three things that were sativa because i didn't look at the i thought i grabbed the right flavor and then

she gave me a look like those are sativa and so i had to put them back and uh this story isn't as interesting as i thought it was well no i i actually really like that story but i also had an observation during it which is when you went to church it looks like you stopped in the merch line oh yeah it's like popped in the merch tent during do you get on the like on the way out of disney everyone has like the ears you have like a thorny crown or something yeah yeah yeah but i tried a new i tried a new edible last night it was from uh 710 farms and okay usually edibles are a shape they're like a symmetrical shape so that you can find the middle if you want to split it in most people don't want 10 all the time i take them out pull up 7 10 7 10 upside down frown gummies

and then after do 7 11 slurpee day free free 7 10 upside down frown slurpee uh where are they oh wait let's just go to the website these boys the shape that they come in they don't have a picture yet they haven't figured out how to take a picture of it all right you know what i'll put a picture of it right here i'll go home and take a picture but i can't react wait i'll just react i can't see that holy fuck it's shaped like a bat it is impossible oh oh oh they're spilling out of the bag go down like left side oh these yeah look they're like not a shape where you can find the middle it's like it's like it says like 7 10 so i had to sit there for like five minutes and be like

what is the middle of this weird ass shape and it's not a churro at all no it says 710 they do look like churros though i want oh my god i had a churro yesterday what yeah what are the odds of that i don't know from escuela tacaria um i guess for me the odds taco school the odds if you mention a sweet around me the odds are pretty high i've had it within like a reasonable amount of time dude last night i got i went to prime pizza yeah you went in persian downtown la i didn't even know you could do that i know i was i took why were you dj i was in i was in san diego this weekend and took the train back i got in at like eight o'clock when i was on the train my cousin texted me dude you ordered me a pizza who i'd been staying with all weekend i was like no

he's like what a pizza just showed up he's like it's delicious he thought so he i guess ate his neighbor's pizza but then it made me think about pizza so i uh we're doing no more investigative work just being like free pizza showed up my door it must be someone must have ordered it well he i don't know he seems to think someone did it for him but that's so yeah i i don't know who would have that'd be i mean it was the dream because we'd like been out on saturday too it was like the dream day to get a pizza delivered to your door i was uh i was in an argument with with my buddy brendan in high school you gotta stop fighting and i texted his but i could not we were like at that age we're like i guess i still am probably not great at like apologizing

for stuff like i truly didn't even know where to begin to apologize and so i was talking to his little brother i was like should i send him a pizza he was like what no that's so weird just text him and say you're sorry dude we had my my freshman year of college my ra was this guy sean google sean but google sean rizwan s-h-a-n no s-h-a-n s-h-a-n r-i-z-w-a-n yeah this guy have you ever seen him he he does like what's oh i think he was like an og like what song are you listening to okay he does like stuff in that vein um he's been super successful now but he was my ra freshman year and uh he was like trying to get into youtube and he put on his story like an instagram like

reply thing and it was like what should i make a video about i'm trying to get back into my youtube channel and i was like 18 thought it was funny and typed out like as a joke i thought like it was like a porn title basically but it was like sexy ra goes to oh yeah did i tell you this goes to pound town on two little boys in room 101 or something and i like showed it to my roommate as like a joke and then he hit send and he called us into he was he was not very happy with us and so we got him a cookie cake that said sorry that was the long way of saying And that was one method I tried. In Toronto, every arrival is a statement.

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trueclassic.com slash playdate and get hooked up today let's get back into the episode you want to know what happened to me this weekend i do for the second weekend in a row oh let's guess yeah barbecue tongs cut your leg oh i was close i feel like you were close i'm gonna say snail wait wait this is the sec this is the second weekend in a row that it's happened yeah do we know about it last weekend too probably not i think you got violently hung over no i think it's very specific swallowed a part of your glasses no i uh you saw you watched a movie you watched a movie you watched braveheart with andre 3000 no i fell asleep before my taco bell that sucks and then but you wake up and you say hey at least i didn't eat all that taco bell

that is true but yeah i had the scariest hangover of my life yesterday i was telling jack before we recorded really well i like couldn't move an inch literally couldn't move from my bed partied i partied too hard i went on my friend yasmin's well it wasn't her boat we rented it for her birthday and there was another birthday festivity at night yeah so it's just too long for the same girl different friend sasha um and uh yeah i was just i was very scared yesterday i it was like one of those ones where you're just spiraling and thinking about like everything is awful yep yeah i i partied a little saturday so i was i was not far away but we all parted i part i went out in san diego with my cousin timmy it was pretty fun i had a similar taco

bell experience this weekend but it was uh we flan and i went out with my sister and her friends in on the east side and uh we went to we went to a bar nice had a couple beers we're like all right new bar yeah walk to the second place the bouncer is like hey you guys can go down there but i would recommend you don't and we were like what and he was like it's not your kind of people down there and we were like oh okay my sister was like oh we come here all the time like it's it's fine and he was like it's different tonight i wouldn't go down there we were like all right we wouldn't tell you why i think it was like if he said why it would have come off offensive i don't know who what demographic was down there but he was like insistent like it's not who you

want to be with right it's like a bunch of you go down it's like all bunch of clowns like or something that's like what it that's like old school comedy like they're all trying to figure out who's on first uh and so we went to a gay bar and i was very excited because i heard right so the guy was like it's not your scene down there i got a spot it's just straight guys down there um i had heard that you know gay bars are fun for guys because you like finally get hit on because we never go to like i never get hit on at straight bars obviously yeah and uh and no one fucking no one came up to me no one bought me a drink no one even no one tried to like play grab ass with me it was it was honestly like it was horrible

because i everyone else is like yeah dude every time we go to a gay bar it's like a feeding frenzy they like all want a piece of this i was like let's do it let's give it a shot with your girlfriend yeah but i wanted guys to come up and like you don't think they saw you with your girlfriend they think they thought they thought i was like out with my chicas because i was the only guy and uh yeah sure and i also think we were like pretty drunk by then so it might have looked might have looked like we were not the type of people you would want to take home they wouldn't you weren't you wouldn't they yeah i'm surprised you didn't still go down at that first bar i'd be so curious what what i'm surprised you didn't go down on anyone yes i was like

i was still thinking about the grab ass of the gay bar i'm surprised you still didn't just go down why didn't you just go down on anyone no i would be so curious like why is this yeah i know that would have made me want to try it even more was it like a cover down there yeah i don't remember uh but at the gay bar we there was like a front part that was like kind of just like a normal bar and then there was like a full like like the front part was normal the back was so gay the back was pretty good the back was pretty gay because it was like a club it was more like clubby and that's where i think like if i had got it gone in there maybe i would have what bar i don't remember it was somewhere in silver lake honestly i think it's so i think they just call

that a bar yeah it's over like i think you close your eyes and point you'll probably be pointing at a gay bar but uh that is awesome yes my sister my i was with i was with majority gays a lot of gays with me and oh i thought you meant yeah people who are majority gay actually that i would think kara is technically bi so yeah but she does skew more women so i was i was with someone who was majority the traces of straightness i got i got a big uh a big offer did i i don't even think i said this i guess we've recorded twice since i found this out hit me but then i'm hosting trivia tomorrow Oh, yes.

Oh, yeah. I guess this will come out after it, but... Next Monday, yeah. Do you think they'll let you... You gotta knock this out of the park. On Tuesday, tomorrow. Do you have all your questions? Nope.

Do you have any? No. Okay, let's do it. I was thinking the Mount Rushmore one would be a good one. Oh, let's do that. Let's do that. I asked Will because I don't know if I can do this. I think I can do it.

All right. We got Washington. Who's on Mount Rushmore? Who's on Mount Rushmore? Washington. Jefferson. Lincoln. Lincoln.

Lincoln. And Teddy Roosevelt. that is right okay yeah i wouldn't have got i wouldn't have made my way to teddy i don't think dude washington jefferson roosevelt lincoln nice do you think and soon you know they're adding uh amelia earhart they're adding amelia yeah what you didn't know about that you didn't see that this is a prank no they're adding amelia air horse yes she's gonna be to the right of it's like all it's gonna be all look right there see there's already kind of a spot all presidents and then and then a woman who crashed her plane

she circumnavigated the whole globe she did not she did famously failed famously we don't know is this real yes see to the right of lincoln they already like started it a little like 50 years ago and then it got like funding cut but they've like that's not real no way

that was a great one that was a really good that was all orange you had me for a second if Willie that was the perfect person because it was like it made no sense

but like kind of if Willie if Willie didn't go along with it I would have bought that hook, line, and sinker that's the only reason I was suspicious did you know

that this is like like this used to be like one of the most or I guess probably still is one of the most sacred like native american spots in the u.s boring we just came and just dynamited our our guys into it i know can you imagine how frustrating that would be i would be pissed if like that would be like if aliens came down and just made like mount everest just like school like a giant sklorp

monument yeah that would oh my god a sklorp yeah for how did they fucking do that it's insane it's the most is probably one of the most impressive things we've ever done i feel like washington didn't got the short end of the stick he looks a little whack well i think they probably did him first and then they like learned some techniques as they went he looks good yeah they not they knocked roosevelt out of the park i think they did all at the same time no no i meant like the first time you do anything but you think they did them one by one probably i think it'd be way too confusing that's like not that long also we were in the middle we were we had just come out of a world war no we were in the roaring 20s bro when they greenlit that shit i'm sorry i'm saying we

just come out of world war one sure yeah and we were like all right like that was bad let's focus 14 years on this and then a new world war started and we kept going is your is are you implying that somehow like the same resources that fight wars are the ones that built mount rushmore i think the same sculptor should be sculpting guns the same reason I think the same resources that did anything back then dropped what they were doing and and helped the war effort like factories like that word for other things became I don't think our military knows anything about reshaping Iraq nice that was good that was really good that was really real that was that's one of your

better ones thank you that was so good i didn't even laugh because i was just like that was wow yeah did you hear that one no he said i don't think our i don't think our military knows anything about reshaping iraq i don't get it uh do you want to take oh i get it i get it i get it the country i get it now i get it you took me a second for me because i don't even know if i could do this uh succinctly explain how what happened in in iraq how did we end up over there um there's and and there's so many ways this is a big part of it was that they thought that they were they had wmds yep and so then after but wasn't it like they like like they threatened hw bush like years prior and george w bush had this weird vendetta and was like i'm gonna go

back and like wipe you guys off the face yeah i mean maybe i actually don't know that much about that but i i don't they were there in the 90s too there was like the gulf war yeah desert storm or whatever yeah we did i that same history teacher i told you about apparently he told me he was in desert storm he said the one who told you that oh the one who's gonna lie all year yeah but then yeah then they went there and they just then they were like okay actually there weren't wmds yeah and so that's it will's initials lauren that is my initials and but then they authorized the use of like blanket use of military force for that that has now become like the the way that now presidents can just go to war do we used to have to do congress had to authorize war and then there's

like some like document from like 2003 that like gave like a blanket kind of what are your guys's middle names again i forget james miles miles all right what's yours okay wait james mile what's yours learn and and no i just feel like how that feels for will i would have guessed like no that's cool i would have guessed something more like basic for some reason i would have guessed like michael or something no actually miles is like is that's it's cool yeah well my great grandfather was miles william murphy yeah and my mom wanted to name me miles william and i kid you not she in 2000 wanted me to have

a more unique name so she made it William Miles she thought William was more unique than what Miles I'm glad you're

William you look more like a William yeah no I wish I was Miles you could be a Miles

you should have just gone by Miles I know a lot of guys go by their middle name yeah but like at what point

I don't know I wish my name was Miles just make it Miles now I can't because I already have this buddy

Miles McCaskey and like if there's two of us that's gonna really fuck things up yeah i were uh my mom's my mom's side of the family is your mom's side of the family my mom's side of the family has because my grandfather has uh nine brothers or he's the

ninth brother so there's just like a fucking million of these italians and you know when we called my mom the other day and she was like i'm going to italy for a baby shower and like i didn't even like i have no i have no clue who those people were i went to visit my cousins and they were they kept telling these stories about like where our parents were or whatever and they were like they're at i'm like not joking like they they were names that sounded like um like grontis like they'd be like they'd be like who's who's francesca and they'd be like it's it's scronus's brother or sister or something and and they kept saying it like i had met them like i probably had like once but there are a hundred on my dad's side there were like five irish people yeah and

then on my mom's side there's like a thousand italian people each one more italian than the last and they kept telling these stories of people that i was supposed to know they're like uncle rickus it's like no i've never met that guy more italians they don't want to edge the seminars would oh yes italians that don't exist bertanti locuto dude i can do that all day alex great alex grade who is what he was one of my best buddies from maine and then ended up being good buddies with will at bc called me when i was driving to we were when i was driving to dana point uh yesterday and alex famously will call you with something that

could be a one sentence text yeah and then gives more and more context as to how we got there where it turns into like a 15 minute conversation and we're on the highway and it was kind of loud and he was trying to plan basically what it should have been was a text like hey uh do you want to hang out in august when i come to california i would say like yes and it was a 15 minute conversation of him getting distracted and being like sorry i'm listening to the red album by taylor swift did you know that she wrote that because of this or whatever and it just kept going down the thing and finally my sister's my sister's friend in the back had to yell and be like alex what is this phone call about and he's like i'm coming in august can i can we hang out

i was like yes all right bye you don't want to talk to your friend i do but it was like don't call me bitch i'm i'm i'm driving don't call me bitch i'm driving yeah that's what i was just saying no it was just it was when you're when you're on like a kind of a road trip we were like jamming out and then you're like yeah yeah yeah i agree sometimes it's like not the time yeah that is a good album though he's just he just moved to new york new york city yeah i know because i was just in boston with all his pals and i asked about him and he said he moved to new york on july he had to move in on the 4th of july but the 4th of july this is why the middle east hates us oh i saw a fun thing about israel the other day can i tell

you no it's it's it's if anything it's anti-israel so so apparently they attacked they attacked one of our ships like when linden b johnson was president yeah and they were calling they like called whoever and they were like can we retaliate and he was like no and so they just let google google uh uss liberty israel sunk it israel sunk it that's a good uh USS Liberty. Yeah. So apparently Israel like sunk this ship and killed all our guys and like maimed a ton of them. We just did nothing about it.

It had been attacked in error after being mistaken for an Egyptian ship. Yeah. Hey. Happens to the best of us. Everyone's throwing a few bombs thinking it was an Egyptian ship. also that's funny too where it's like it's like no no we thought it was egypt it's like why are you attacking egypt wait that is kind of crazy yeah isn't that weird apparently lyndon b johnson said like do not do not do not retaliate yeah it's just something i thought was interesting

that is oh and the commander was mcgonigal professor mcgonigal lauren google uss philadelphia teleportation you ever seen this wait you've definitely brought this up apparently we figured out teleportation it went like horribly wrong what wait wait lauren lauren i'm gonna try and tell the story from memory and then what did you just say i'll try and i'll try and tell the story from memory and then we will compare it to the real thing and i i guarantee this could be one of the worst rusty misinformation the story i heard was the u.s navy was really interested in figuring out the technology to teleport ships and apparently it disappeared from this harbor and then reappeared in like another city like

hundreds of miles away and guys were like through the wall like their like arms were like fused to the metal and like people were like alien it was crazy but apparently we tried it we tried teleportation once and it didn't work what the fuck are you talking about so project rainbow is a widely circulated urban legend the story is widely considered hoax with evidence suggesting the claims originated from a man with a history of mental illness me um but yeah i think that that i like i i i want to believe that it's true that's way more interesting than it just being some crazy guy came up with it like life's boring why don't we just why don't like it would be more fun if we can just be like

yep that's true yeah it would yeah except that then i would never go to philadelphia oh imagine you get teleported and you end up in norfolk virginia fuck you're you're in a bar in philadelphia you just wake up everyone's like fused to their seats in like mid in the uh somewhere midwest do you um east virginia do you think this is how i know it's fake is there's no way the first people ever teleport teleported to norfolk although i think the whole i think the the reasoning would be like we didn't have we didn't have uh we didn't have it totally figured out yet what the fuck is wait it's standing has been doing this the whole time doing what it's like standing on its pegs no i know i don't but

there's no way to fix it okay all right well we can let's we can fix it should we take a break and then roadmap it up or do you have any more fake stories to tell i had one more fake story let me think about it i had uh i think i wrote something in my notes app that just says birds and I was going to try to figure out something. Huh. No. Lauren, this is your third to last episode. No, I know.

This is your third to last episode. I need to say something crazy before I'm gone. Yeah. Oh, that could be a good way. That could be a good way to get the Playmates to like the new producers on the last episode. We just get Lauren to say a bunch of offensive stuff. No, no, not.

That's actually a really good point. Not offensive. Defensive? Maybe. oh yeah i saw an instagram for someone and they were like from a different country like different country i think and their handle was an at anna laura like that was like their name but it i it looks just like anal aura oh i was like what the hell is this person's instagram and then i realized you were halfway through a dm to them yeah you're like oh

anal aura i'd love to hear more about the anal aura as always this episode is brought to you by mando guys will and i travel a ton and let me tell you the worst part about traveling is trying to get put that away put that away i can't help myself i love mando mando i love it all right the worst the worst part about traveling is trying to get all your you know shampoos conditioners body wash shaving stuff into your toiletry bag look at this bad boy the acidified cleansing bar is four in one we're talking shampoo face wash body wash and deodorant all in one bar and i know what you're thinking that's impossible science hasn't gotten that far i didn't believe it either i took it on our last trip a lot of people didn't

believe the philadelphia experiment it's a good that's a very good point it also here's the thing well a little tip of the pros you forget your shaving cream you can use this as the lather for the shaving cream so i don't know if i'm legally allowed to say this technically a five and one and a six and one if you use it to play hockey oh yes i forgot yes a lot of people forget about that it's almost the perfect weight for a hockey puck it's a hockey puck if you want to go in the hallway and play some shinny with your friends i wouldn't slap shots will break it yes it's mostly mostly rare shots but guys mando's sweat control deodorant stick stops odor before it starts uh just for your underarms though i've tried to put it other places and they uh they

almost stopped sponsoring the podcast mando's starter pack is perfect for new customers it comes with a solid stick deodorant cream tube deodorant two free products of your choice like mini body products shut up two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes and free shipping as a special offer for our listeners new customers get 20 off site-wide with our exclusive code use code plated at shopmando.com for 20 off site-wide plus free shipping that's s-h-o-p-m-a-n-d-o.com please support our show and tell them that we sent you mando's got you covered protect your pits smell great doing it let's get back into the episode i have one more thing before we get into the roadmap and it's about superman i went to the

some trading post whatever that one is in melrose melrose i went to melrose trading post what some trading posts you're like in the wild i was out on the frontier uh and i thought i was gonna hate it because you have to buy tickets wait what is it it's like a giant flea market outdoor flea market you have to buy tickets to it it's like five bucks or something right it was 16 for two which i already rubbed me the wrong way and i was like this is gonna be stupid we got in there uh it i have never bought more things so quickly ever i got a map of all the dogs in the world that is now hung up on my wall it's it is it's like in scroll format oh that's so what does that mean like it shows where they live so it's a map and it has like every country

and it has their dogs listed out in pictures of them oh that's cool i learned that my dog callie my former dog callie i was like where the hell is the the luellen setter turns out it's just uh it's like an offshoot of the english center so it would be like uh jesus lord dude there's something going on right now there are flies all around it's at my house too oh sorry like what sorry everybody every infestation we've had you've had to remember like our our old office had termites and then you at your house had termites my termites are so fucking bad yeah um i okay so sorry i got a map of all the dogs in the world i got a tommy bahama shirt i got these japanese balls that you roll around in your hand and they make

music noise that was the craziest thing it's like it's literally like witchcraft i got a needle point uh framed of a lighthouse i think it's the charleston or the uh hilton head one that you like the striped one oh yeah uh i got harbortown what else did i get wait this is uh i don't know what made me just think of that i think the charleston bridge how do people do what no one said charleston bridge someone did he said the lighthouse whatever the shit where people like have bottles and they like create little guys on the inside how how if anyone knows how to do that please send me one i want one apparently you build it outside of the bottle flat and then you slide it in and then you erect it so it like all is like built to like pull up all right get your

mind out of the gutter you what it i went to i'm sorry you what it you erect wait i don't even know what you're talking about like a ship you know what i'm talking about these guys oh yeah yeah like a painting yeah i believe you build it on the outside and then you erect it uh but i'm sorry i am like fucking losing it over here erected and i went with a wrecked tit i don't want to hear about your erect tits sometimes i'm like maybe our podcast is like there's a there's a reason like we exist and then i do that and then it's like no we shouldn't have it um but we went with sam and his girlfriend it was lovely it was a little double date sam sam uh went and found guys who were selling

baseball cards and these the the god damn the clientele that's there are people that you would not think are very well read on uh yeah on baseball cards i think sam was the first person that's ever gone and been able to like you know talk shop talk shop and uh zoe said he walked in the guy tried to sell him one he said this was way overpriced and got very mad and left but it was like he was like it should be two dollars and it was five yeah it wasn't like hey it wasn't some big time times i would love to get a huge baseball card hand up hand up i'd like to get a huge baseball card yeah the mets had a crazy uh blunder okay on saturday yep our catcher just threw the ball to no one in the middle of an inning and two runs scored

just like after the strike he stood up he kind of waited a second he just threw the ball well sometimes catchers get the yips yeah i think that's weird have you seen the catchers that like can't throw it back yeah yeah they like get the ball in the like what what's wrong with them they just like get in their own heads like getting like the yips in golf great lord crazy should we roadmap it up yes yeah i'm okay we have a okay with that beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches then we're gonna do am i the asshole we're gonna find out if one of the playmates i have two two of the playmates are assholes we had two playmates send us covid tests so we're gonna be alive on air yep

they've both they both took the covid test sent them to us and then went out and uh did as much stuff in public as possible we're gonna figure out if either of them are the asshole uh then we are gonna do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey i said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard rocks in my yard wait you guys what when this episode this episode comes out on my birthday birthday birthday come on it's my birthday 25 yeah i don't know about you but i'm feeling 25 i made a song one time called 52 okay with my dad it was when he turned 52 we made wait this actually might exist on the internet can you look it up

danellen tube is it on it's on youtube is the website okay i don't know where i oh man just put like danellen and then 52 wait did i spell yeah yeah you did it right and five two oh man i I don't, fuck, scroll down, damn it, I don't know where it is, it's the funniest thing of all time, though. The ultimate political parody anthem. Why is it all like, oh, 52. I might be able to find it. Wait, what does 52 have to do with Trump?

Wasn't he? He's the 45th and the 47th president. Lauren goes, why is it all Trump? Oh, 52. dude my farts have been so stinky i'm so sorry uh that's okay no it's not okay and then after this guy rocks we're gonna do teach me something and then you know lauren's this is one of lauren's last episodes and so we are gonna play the hits uh today we're doing sayings that don't exist and country songs that don't exist and then we'll wrap up with uh rusty's song of the day go follow

rusty song songs of the day on spotify again we hit 10 000 followers we're at i think 4 000 now uh two of you are getting 101 also we've kind of slowed down i think we got to 2 000 in the first like two times yeah and we've kind of hit a wall here so i'm really hoping that this doesn't take like a year to get to 10 000 um send it to your grandma send it to your grandma your mom send it to your dog send it to uncle chris hamster you don't have an you don't have an aunt an aunt chris and an uncle sandy no no i don't think uncle sandy that's cool uncle sandy and his wife is named aunt chris oh that is fun and uncle sandy one time this is a story my dad told me one time uh him and a homeless guy got in a fight because the guy hit his hit his truck and the guy slashed

him with a broken beer bottle and uncle sandy won the fight and took his red cowboy boots like off the guy oh you you like he like beat the guy in a fight and was like he's in my boots now i think you told that story in like episode five uh yeah yeah and you you but but you made it really short so just out of context you were like yeah my uncle's still homeless guy's boots and i like it was he didn't steal them he won them fair and square he earned them he earned them he earned them in a duel okay i couldn't find the video but it went i don't know about it was my dad's 52nd birthday i don't know about you i'm feeling 52 and then i just remember one of the lines was i'm on the grunt box i'm passing cinder blocks what does that mean he's my dad always calls

the toilet the grunt box oh oh oh i like that a lot oh yeah all right pitches pitch us lauren randy pitches cranky oh uh the guy he was the priest was also talking about people being crabby and when i when i'm in a bad mood flan calls me a crabby monster so i kept getting looks at church oh because he was talking about me he was talking about me being crabby crabney crabney okay whatever happened to crabney i think lobster elbow took him okay i wish sometimes when lauren does the okay it makes me it makes me feel like when it makes me feel like will and i are in sixth grade and we just

did a presentation that we kind of half-assed the night before and the teacher goes okay all right let's hear from uh ryan especially when she's dressed like that did i ever tell you about my big my big about it was about to give us homework did i ever tell you about my big uh uh keynote faux pas we're all familiar with keynote like powerpoint for powerpoint for apple and uh and i meant to uh he shouldn't have said fuck in the presentation anyways but it made it way worse i meant to say something like dank as fuck and i accidentally made it dank ass fuck why did it say ass fuck or as that was the whole thing was like we got in trouble and we were like it was a typo and she was like you would have been in

trouble equally as much all right do you ever wait one more thing you remember when they tried to make like they try to like yassify powerpoint and they there was like that website where we like zoom all around you know what i'm talking about yes yes yes you know ever like this is so much it was fun and it would like zoom in kind of but it was like what was that called they tried to yassify powerpoint yeah what is that google google james charles website powerpoint fly all around prezzy prezzy it came right up fly all around prezzy that shit was cool i was out on that shit i was like bro this is not any different it's just like the interface was a little tough to work on but i thought i thought it was cool in the end okay um do you like neon okay keep

not really okay okay his breakfast club interview who's that neon oh is that a person he's like a streamer that went on breakfast club and they were like they were like what's your least favorite race like charlemagne asked him that he's like what's money south carolina stand up I'm not a very big Charlemagne guy. I liked him on Guy Code. Did you ever watch Guy Code? It was an old MTV show.

It's a radio show, Lauren. It turned all the kids our age that are like Andrew Tate people. I think that was the seed. That started it all. I just know I gotta look out for my South Carolina brothers and Charlemagne.

Charlemagne the God. Charlamagne Tha God. Hello. Him and Jadavion Clowney. And Aziz Ansari. Those are the big ones. Aziz Ansari is from South Carolina? Yeah.

Ready? And Stephen Colbert, RIP. Hello, Boo Boo, Rinkies, and Fumpy. Oh, Fumpy? I think Rinkies. Boo Boo. Fumpy. What is the worst part about house spiders?

I know a girl named Frumpy. Sorry. What would you say? Too many legs. Worst thing about spiders? Yeah. uh spiders you'll see them for a second and then when you go get to when you go to get a paper towel they're they're gone and now you have to worry about them being somewhere in your house

um he says they're little devils living in your home but you don't know where they are at all times and that is scary you might be asking yourself aren't they good too because they get rid of pesky bugs and shins like that fleas and worms maybe introducing spider tracker this is a device on your wall like a nest thermostat with a little camera that keeps a lookout for house spiders and once it sees one it shoots out a tiny tracking backpack that attaches to the sweater now you can open the spider tracker app and keep a lookout on where the spider is also getting notified but when it gets too close to you now you can live peacefully knowing that the dumb ass bugs are getting eaten but the spider does not have to die for you to live comfortably

p.s if you guys don't like it then fuck it make it a little guy that does something i don't know p.s p.s lauren i'm heartbroken to hear the news but i'm excited for your new life as a penguin in the south pole much love alex bushy all right here's my thing i don't want to know where they are i can live i can live in peace denying that they're in my house i one i don't want to know where they are but two it would start tracking like there are probably hundreds of spiders in your house yeah and so you would you would be overwhelmed by the amount knowing that they're there uh i remember seeing a statistic on ifunny that said in your lifetime you probably swallow six spiders they crawl in your mouth i've seen that why did i hear it was like 800 a year that's

the one i grew up on 800 a year like 800 a night like two and a half a night two and a half every night or like thousands every night that's what i grew up thousands every night yeah they were so small that it wouldn't really you wouldn't ever really know so small what are you talking about i don't know spiders so small you ate two thousand one night i didn't make this up two thousand in one night yeah so small you don't see them yes that's not real how many spiders do you eat a night well how many spiders how many spiders do you eat in a lifetime how many biters oh my gosh how many biters do you need common myth let's go spiders are generally not interested in humans and prefer to avoid them

they're also very small and likely to crawl into a person's mouth when they're sleeping Lauren, can you Google what does a human look like to a spider? Ooh. Human versus spider. No, no, no. Absolute. What does a human look like to a spider? I was going to do, like, size comparison.

Yeah, apparently it looks, like, insane. What? No. Like, what does it... Oh. Oh, okay. It looks pretty normal, actually. Ew, look at that.

Ah! White spider with a human face. oh no no go to like the go to like the i think i think it's the last one on the first row that that was the meme i saw was apparent the last one on the first row that's the the last one on the first row sorry apparently that's how they see you jesus what's so this fucking bug this fly fuck that fly dude i see it it's on the tv now all the girls are gonna find some disease that flies carry and work from home for the next six months until we move offices.

We don't barely have any girls left. They're all quitting en masse. Me and Flagg are leaving literally the same. The last girls will be Carly, Kate, Paige, Whitney. Binder. Binder.

Skrotis? Doesn't Skrotis work here? Matz has long hair. Matz has long hair. Thank you, Alex Bushy. Next pitch is from Greta. Greta who? I don't know her last name, Greta.

Van Fleet. Greta Van Fleet. GVF. Hello, Michael, Gary, and Scott. Gary. I'll be Scott. Michael. I'm ready.

Scott's coming home today. From where? He's been gone for two weeks. Damn. He was in Maine, and then Boston, and then New York. That's cray. I've been very lonely. Are you excited?

I'm very excited, yeah. We're going to hang out, I think. But then I leave when... That doesn't matter. Okay, go. where do you leave for i'm going home this weekend what yeah oh my god today's my dad's birthday that was like oh i'm so glad i remember that that is that is on a way larger scale a similar thing that happened to me yesterday flan and i were sitting there and uh we were like what

day is it today because we were trying we had to plan something yeah and we realized we had spent the whole day together and it was our our nine month nine month anniversary yeah but like that kind of thing i know but i was just saying we've literally never we've missed we've missed it every day nine months i feel like you only need to acknowledge the six and that was the only one we remembered was the six because it was on my calendar yeah that's the only one that matters well i'm bummed you're going home i know but you thought we were gonna celebrate my birthday oh fuck it's okay i'll be there thanks i'm sorry no it's not i didn't mean like each each month on the 20th is like a big blowout party but even just being like yeah yeah it happened i yeah my

i'm going it's the nellon week so i gotta go home for the nellon week okay are there multiple birthdays no it's just all my we pick one week and like all the cousins come up oh that's fantastic okay um i'm writing this retta says i'm writing this pitch to you as i recover from love island season finale wash party on my friend's couch and was just thinking what is the worst part about being hungover oh um you don't you don't know when it's gonna end you don't see the light at the end of the tunnel you every thing you did that was maybe slightly weird feels like it was the end of the world because you're over hyping in your head and what you did was actually fine but it's impossible to convince yourself of that tired yeah oh yeah tired she says that's right

cutie the anxiety may i present to you in debt to the beer man podcast thanks trust you for help with the name on this podcast you select your favorite podcaster and the affirmation that you need that morning such as you were not annoying you were funny no one is mad at you there can be paid slash patreon tier or you can send in the specific message you need for example will and rusty could say everyone thought it was cool when you tried to start a chant about love island or it's okay you spilled the drink on the nice girls picnic blanket at the love island watch party i know y'all will figure out the logistics thank you for making my co-workers wonder if i'm high while i giggle to myself listening to your pod at work i love that greta hey greta you fucked up

this weekend no you did not you were lovely you were a perfect angel and everyone is talking about how cool you were uh i love it i also think it should be it could be like cameo for for hungover people yeah i guess you could just do cameo yeah but that it needs to come from the heart also it could be they could pull in friends from that night for like testimonials yeah where they're like so so tell me i heard greta was being awesome last night and then your friend's like yeah she was alex cooper she was on the dance floor and everyone loved it i think it yeah this should be a service where everyone you were with text you and it was like great seeing you you were a blast that i had that with sam swank a couple weeks ago he'd text i i uh thought i

kind of was being a little embarrassing or cringy and then he texted me he was like dude we gotta to hang out more that was a blast and i was like gosh a bullet dodged a bullet there all right i love it love it i'm in uh drone view you know about drone view no pitch me this is uh when you're like mapping out your route to go somewhere instead of like street view you can click to drone view and it's a real-time drone shot of the route so you can kind of take a peek when it's like oh there's traffic it's like i want to know what that means exactly and it'll show you a live feed of the road at that time i like that and then also you could go to like um like an ex like an ex lover's house and you want to make sure they're not seeing anyone else or something right there's

ways to ways to do ways to um drone view of your ex's house like the odds of them like hooking up with someone in their yard oh yeah like they go to freak town in their yard maybe it has x-ray vision can't have x-ray vision no it can't it has x-ray vision like an invasion of their privacy and it has a gun

it's a drone and a laser it's a government drone and a hat it's slightly different than a government drone I love it I'm in that's a great shirt is that new

no I've had this for years and years I bought it from Scott Rogowski Nice Shout out Scott Rogowski What is the worst part about farting? This is the only Super Bowl the Chargers are ever in And Steve Young broke the Super Bowl record

For touchdowns against them Yeah Touchdown passes I guess What's the worst part about farting? Stinky and I hurt Oh oh oh you shit yourself a little Um everyone like hates you after chicks don't dig it that much chicks don't dig it that much everyone hates you after

yeah everyone knows that you just farted these are underpants uh with a sound screen on the ass cheeks so when your fart comes out it it harnesses that and instead of it being a fart noise that comes out it comes out as just a scream so so everyone thinks oh he's just he just got startled by something and they go back on they go back to their normal does it come out of your ass yeah it's still fart coming out of your ass but it's like ah but the ah noise like wouldn't you know what was coming out of their ass but if a scream came from your ass you could just be like what the who was that it must be someone in the other room that's actually you know what i mean yeah i think until they're mainstream then people will catch on but in

the early days of it i think you could really get you're at you're at a buffalo wild wings and it's just like ah oh hey everywhere also if it was like gonna be silent anyway oh so it's like mimics the like tone of the fart oh it just sounds you just had like a refreshing sprite if you have a dude i was in my cousin's house and his like alexa thing was blasting and i was trying to get it to turn off i was in the bathroom it turns out it was an apple one so i was supposed to say siri i was like alexa alexa stop alexa stop and then i was like what the fuck okay google google stop google stop alexa stop google stop he comes he's like it's siri it's siri i was like oh fuck sorry sorry all right should we do am i the asshole tell us who has

an asshole okay tell us who's asshole which one should we start take a picture of and post on the internet how much money would it take you to post a picture of your butthole on the internet is it under my own name yeah story so it's just whoever sees the story it doesn't it's not like a blast out to everyone yeah i mean no i don't think any amount of money five hundred thousand okay yes 500 literally no amount of money i mean what would i say can i be like you can come out after and be like i am so i got 500 no no it's just like i am so sorry i i uh yeah maybe you can say okay if you can tell them that the amount of money you got for it i think that would make you go lower isn't that like a crime or no okay no crime okay yeah then i would do it for sure

a hundred thousand no or a hundred thousand dollars i don't know i think more two hundred and fifty thousand dollars will flash picture of your bubble it can be as clean as you want you can go get it groomed does it have to stay up for 24 hours it goes up until it goes up until yes for 24 hours uh you can go do it you can go you can hire a professional photographer they can do it in any lighting you want it just has none of this is affecting my take i don't care it's not gonna be pretty there's no one there's the thing about it can be pretty there's no market for it yes there are people that oh brother i was in silver lake this weekend there is a market for

it there is a market for it uh you could get like a fade i'll do a quarter million bucks i'll do a quarter million what a hundred and ten thousand dollars no okay what do you mean you could get a fade like they could like groom your ass hairs into like a really nice like you know skin fade like a fade you get a perm just google ass butthole fade no i'm just kidding all right should we do a a-i-t-a yeah hit me okay this is from who's matt audio okay this person didn't give their name so uh cressman cressman what is up regina gretchen and karen long time playdate fan here uh gretchen regina karen okay so i oh yeah what no you're good yeah that's it no i was gonna say a few

episodes ago when they said those like names and then i was like oh it's from that book you guys never read mabel seuss what's that oh no mabel seuss and binky it was like something and i was like it was from that book remember we all read it in school but yeah yeah yeah i made all that up thinking like and i didn't even tell you it's a prank thing like the comments gonna be like will got him so good and the comments are just like no idiot will that's not from that that's from gravity falls yeah and i was like god damn my prank so you were pranking us i was trying to yeah but lauren put a picture of binky from uh arthur here tubbies is that i actually think pull up binky arthur oh yeah yeah do we have to oh my god why pull up binky arthur

yeah binky i just leave can you just leave him up while we do that yes okay that is what crespin looks like it's actually i actually know a guy okay looks like that so i live in an apartment with two roommates and we've got this extra room with a couch in it nothing fancy but it doesn't get used much one of my old friends let's call him peter lives in a big house with a bunch of our mutual friends he shares a room with another guy there and apparently they really don't get along so to avoid the drama at his place peter started crashing on our extra couch now here's where things get weird recently the people at peter's house again a bunch of my old friends basically told me that i'm not welcome there anymore no explanation no real conversation just

don't don't come over i was kind of blindsided meanwhile peter kept coming over and sleeping on her couch like nothing had changed i didn't want to blow things up so i asked my roommates let him know i wasn't comfortable with him staying over anymore at least not if i wasn't even allowed in his house then in public peter confronted me he straight up cussed me out and said that i was the one causing drama he claimed that him staying on her couch didn't affect me at all so i shouldn't care so am i the asshole for telling peter he can't crash in my place if i'm not allowed at his i'm so unbelievably confused why did he start sleeping over there because he had beef with a kid that lived in his house yeah got it he shares a room with another guy there and they don't get

along so he peter started crashing their extra couch there must be more to the story something's going on yeah yeah that's us there must be more to the story but if they okay maybe they think like you're siding with you're harboring a fugitive yeah yeah yeah you're like siding with peter yeah and so because of that you're like anti the other guy but there must you must have done something or these guys are just crazy yeah or they're or they're just not good friends yeah but i mean i feel like oh yeah we consider maybe they're 40 are they 40 4d 4d 4d are they 40 does it say if they're 40 or it doesn't say just that different age i don't know okay i don't know i feel like i i feel like you you're leaving something out yeah i mean you got to figure out

why they don't want you at their house i can't believe you're just like oh shit guess i'm not welcome yeah i would you're you're i would say you should be less you should have been less focused on like peter can't stay here anymore and more like how do i mend this relationship with my friends i would say so why didn't you talk to peter yourself why did you make your roommates i don't know there's a lot happening that i'm confused about i think you need to be a man oh that's language that is outdated actually i think you need to duke it out like kings and just talk to peter and talk to the guys live there just be like what the fuck is going on yeah i think you'll sort i think it's all the different lines of communication that's creating

yeah i do wonder how old they are this is giving like 21 yeah i would assume they're still in college yeah i would say uh i would say call a cop call a like meeting a meeting of the five families and and say everyone has to dress like mafia guys we're gonna get to the bottom love it okay well i have one more if we want to do please okay um next one is from jenna hi jenna jenna says hi besties love the pod thank you so i've been in a situationship with this guy and it's getting pretty serious like i could definitely see us making it official only thing is i slept with his roommate slash good friend freshman year it was a one night stand and we never talked about it before or after me and the guy from freshman year are friendly when i'm at their house but i'd

say we don't necessarily talk a ton and only in group settings i didn't meet my current situationship until two years after this freshman year incident wait pause this his best friend um good friend roommate slash good friend okay um i didn't meet my current situationship until two years after this freshman year incident am i the asshole for not saying anything to my current situationship there's absolutely nothing going on between me and this guy from freshman year but i'm nervous that saying something will mess things up with the guy that i'm interested in or if it's too late for me to say anything because i was gonna say if the answer like doesn't matter it's like no it doesn't matter but but it's the fact that he doesn't know yeah okay that's fascinating

i feel like you should tell him but we gotta do it in a we gotta be very careful because you can't you can't make it seem like a big deal yeah or something maybe like this is horrible advice but it's just a jumping off point for us to dive into you know ways to do it i think you maybe because if you say it like hey by the way i used to hook up with orion or whatever his name is um orion orion i don't know why it was the first name orion oh that's because my my sister's neighbor's dog is named orion that's why i was okay so you can't just be like by the way you know i have to tell you this i used to hook up with him you should frame it like you assumed he already knew so you you tell a story again this is just a jumping off one i don't think

this is the answer but that you could tell a story and be like oh my god when ryan and i were hooking up like this happened or whatever and just kind of move past it and see if he's like what i think you guys just feel like hey that's worse don't i just want you to know i don't want you to hear this from i'm assuming he's already told you this or something you can make it like yeah i'm assuming you already know but i just want i think you just gotta tell him yeah i mean you're not an asshole like this is like okay a crazy situation lauren you're jenna okay will you are miguel you're miguel lauren how would you tell miguel that you used to hook up with orion okay orion miguel and jenna i would just be like i would say it very casually i'd just be like

hey this i don't want this to be a big deal this was a very long time ago but by the way like i did used to hook up with their roommate once oh i only hooked up with orion once there's nothing going on between us anymore but i just feel like it was better to just tell you that's what i would say and miguel how does that make you feel i'd be like oh no you are miguel so you are like miguel what the hell man okay where's he from what the hell man uh no i'd be like oh really what yeah but then i'd be like yeah okay i mean i guess i'm glad you told me i yeah but also i guess that they're roommates uh you also don't have to tell like i think the only weird part about it is that he didn't know

like i feel like if i'm miguel i'm not mad that it happened yeah it's just like it's weird that maybe you guys have crossed each other's paths so many times and this has never come up yeah maybe you just pretend that uh i think it's just brought a guy i've never seen in the window maybe you pretend like you just assumed he knew and not say anything and like if it ever comes up be like oh what i know i just i wouldn't be able to live with it yeah i would want him to know okay maybe you do this maybe you preface it hey what's up man what the hell man what the i think maybe you preface it with like hey uh i'm starting to like like you and i think we're probably gonna keep seeing each other so i just

wanted to tell you because i don't think you know this as a heads up one time when we were 17 or 18 i hooked up with orion yes i think that's good and he should appreciate the honesty yeah and maybe do it in the context of like i want to take this to the next level yeah but i want to make sure that you know this yep before we do that i think that's good advice you're good girl dude i am laughing at this binky thing i know a guy i actually know a guy who looks so much that's not even like an insult like he's like a handsome guy and but his face he kind of looks like zach bryan yeah like in terms of just like he has like a he's like very like large manly jowls oh zach bryan bro but his his white ass is pissing me off really because i have to hate him

And he brought up Bruce Springsteen And they did Atlantic City together last night And I was watching videos of it Oh, Binky, that's Zach Bryan Shredded Binky is Yeah, with the tats That's kind of shocking With that picture with the sunglasses

I like this Should we do This Guy Rocks? Yeah Alright, Lauren, I just slacked mine to Bryan This guy rocks This guy rocks This guy rocks today Hey, hey, hey, I said this guy rocks, and he rocks so hard.

He rocks in your house, and he rocks in your yard. Lauren, pause this immediately, and I mean immediately. There's rocks in my yard? This is a guy that I just found that is just right up all of our alleys. Is he new, or has he been around? I think he's been around, but let's see. Okay. I love you.

I love you. You're the man. You're the man. Got me moonwalk, moonwalk, moonwalk, moonwalk, moonwalk, moonwalk, moonwalk. Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson. This family is on the brink of civil war. Mobland, the hit original series is now streaming on paramount plus we are the harrigans don't know the net and google us from the underworld of

guy ritchie do you want to step up the ladder i won't call that dead starring tom hardy pierce brosnan and helen mirren do i have to do everything myself mob lad new season is now streaming on paramount plus what is on that plate it's whipped cream there is a follow-up video where they go in and they have this like elaborate booby trap set up to like whipped cream their friend but i like that like they they keep telling him to moonwalk and he cannot figure it out and then once they get him to do it he falls into the pool into an empty pool michael jackson michael jackson michael jackson oh that's so funny also like the fact that there are guys out there like shaped

like that is so funny oh my god i'm obsessed yeah me too i love you he's like i love you too michael maxson michael jackson michael jackson that's awesome well if it's another ai baby i'm be really sad okay what is this i i actually don't even remember liking it i saved this for my this guy rocks i don't remember what do we got okay i will not cut into the drive-thru to save time i will not order junk food for meal time instead i'll eat a meal that's healthy and sublime i'll do that for breakfast lunch and dinner time share the vibe i don't even know what this is i like it you just gotta own it you like it you know you like it obviously i like the shirtless jacks part but wait he does kind of look like

tom hanks well he sounds like tom hanks oh wait can you go to his page i like the way you move big man i can't tell if it's a joke or not it seems like not a joke i don't think it's a joke oh my god i mean he seems very happy so does he seems happy are you kidding me i think that guy literally hates himself i think that guy hates his whole life and everything about it and he probably doesn't even like any of the stuff he does oh yeah i mean there i hope not though shout out that guy there are guys that i think have just been dealt kind of a weird hand and they're doing the best thing you don't you you do not know about his situation i think i know i think i have a pretty good grasp no you're right i'm coming around i think he's happy

i just think i hope he's happy i was just saying i think some people have dealt a shit hand if i had that body i would be happy sure i'd be sending a lot more ab pics come on yeah i like your body better than that guy's body really yeah thanks man i don't think that you would actually love my body right you would actually want that um all right should we do teach me something teach me something did you ever hear about uh greenland and denmark's um alcohol battle over a tiny island there was this island i would guess though there was this island like an uninhabitable rock in the arctic and greenland and canada were like kind of jokingly fighting over it so one of them would go and they would put like a denmark flag there because i think denmark owns

greenland and then and they would leave a bottle of uh of their like whiskey and then uh canada would go back or maybe i have it mixed up sorry uh canadian forces would visit they'd plant their flag and leave a bottle of their whiskey what do you ask it and then the danes would return and replace the flag with theirs and leave a bottle of schnapps and it went on for like 50 years until 2022 and they just were like all right let's just split it down the middle that's funny what do i ask what do you ask i said what's the weirdest dispute over land then it spit that out that's hysterical um mine was gonna be you know there were little mammoths you know mammoths yep from the olden days yeah they used to have pygmy mammoths google the pygmy mammoth oh i think

i've seen these they were like our height pick me mammoths yeah it's like i like drinking beer instead of seltzer i had the longest tusks oh that's adorable yeah do you think anyone tried to ride them one guy how'd that go for him tusk ass cute tusking his ass i got a horrible tusk i thought that was fun tusk ass is like uh it's like it's like the medieval version of like jock itch that you had i barely had jock it's not a fucking the my goot my uh gooch uh was uh stinging the other day i think it was because i was walking too much in the in the heat. Damn right, brother. Your gooch stingy. My gooch

stingy. Alright, should we do sayings that don't exist or country songs that don't exist, Willie? You pick. Let's do mine are so not

good. Do your country songs first. Alright. These are more country songs that don't exist. Oh yeah. uh one knee lower it's about a guy falling in love and wanting to get married to a girl and he's like if you're the kind of west coast city chick looking for a small town idiot i'll be getting one knee lower tonight i love that if you uh if you're uh if you're if you're not just some broadway one and done looking for a nashville type of fun i'll be getting one knee

lower tonight so he's gonna he's gonna propose to a woman that's meeting for the first time at the bar at the bar at he's okay ready to marry her i like it uh i got didn't bring a lure okay this guy's girlfriend agrees to go out fishing with him but she said she's got a busy day so she'll go sit with him until he catches a fish okay he's talking about how he didn't even bring a lure because he just wants to sit out there and spend the whole day with her and he doesn't want to risk it by catching a fish i love that thank you i love that because for a second i was like well maybe there could be a line it's like and i didn't bring live bait either because otherwise people might be like oh he's just using live it's fine

hold my hat parentheses i'll kick his ass this is about a guy who's being mean to his girl and he's like so hold my hat i'll kick his ass i love it his cowboy hat um i got i learned how to spell i love you okay city girl dating a country boy and he didn't get that great of an education but he wants to write her a love note so he spends all all day trying to learn how to spell i love you that's awesome this is called a belt with no buckle uh which is damn near useless and he's talking about a girl she's like a belt with no buckle she's like a car without no wheel why is she useless because she's maybe she didn't put out on the first date jesus all right i was just trying to you shouldn't be calling women useless

at all but that sounds like whatever this guy would say some women can't you can call guys useless yeah i was just wondering i was just wondering in this situation why she's useless okay it's about a guy yeah yours was gonna be just as offensive as mine no it wasn't okay then why is she useless i don't know you tell me i told you and you didn't like it she's not doing anything she's just sitting around all day what's wrong with that because there's stuff to do we run a business together okay that's important context we run a business together we run a farm together and all the crops are going stale because she's not harvesting yep okay i like it she's like a bell with no buckle like a car with no wheels she's like a damn belly a dam without no water

without no beaver she won't harvest the fields i love it that's about a girl who want to harvest the fields a belt with no buckle it's about a girl won't harvest any fields and you own a farm together with her you make that my intro for the clip all right i got doctor's orders uh this country girl works at a takeout restaurant and every day the assistant of the doctors comes in and grabs uh their food and he asked for the doctor's orders i love that and then uh and then she starts to slowly fall for him or he starts to slowly fall for her and then he asked her out on a date and he says uh i gotta take you out to dinner doctor's orders i love that are you saying

yeah i also had one i have one final one hit me i had another one called third tour it's about a military man that becomes a country singer and he's about to go on his first world tour but he's already been on two tours in afghanistan so technically this is his third tour i like that i also had bumping buckles about two cowboys grinding front to front like a bill we ain't no buckle um car without no we aren't you these sayings that don't exist yeah these are more sayings that don't exist abandoned houses don't have smoking chimneys uh wait if an old relationship still is showing some signs of life and maybe they're still showing some interest there might still be a spark there and uh and the moment hasn't

fully passed i got yeah that wasn't very good no it's just a mouthful i know i think it makes sense it was just a mouthful i'll be that'll go last you gotta do your laundry one load at a time all right you can't just solve all your problems all at once all right you gotta take it piece by piece load by load and you're thinking pause probably do we suck at these now i feel like that mine was so bad yours was good tanning at midnight uh something that is a pointless effort you shouldn't be doing it because there's just no chance it's going to work uh playing tennis with two rackets uh sometimes just adding more of a good thing doesn't actually make it any better like that's it's gonna be harder to play tennis with two rackets so you don't want to play tennis

with two rackets unless like you you can figure it out it's like a general grievous thing i think i think i'm losing my mind it looks like i think i'm going crazy today uh i think the comments are gonna be like what happened buying the insurance before the car you're worried about what could go wrong before you've even started what you're doing i like that uh giving a crackhead kombucha what does it mean it's like there's probably bigger problems to address than his gut health right now all right that was officially our worst those were our worst six sayings that we've ever pitched that was probably my worst showing since the first one we did that was probably my worst

showing since college oh man since cro crovid do you comment comment l if yeah comment off if we fell off comment l all right rusty's song of the day go follow rusty songs of the day on spotify when we hit 10 000 two of you are getting 101 dollars today we have oh tango suerte by masayoshi takanaka it uh has i actually he was my this guy rocks a while ago he's that guy playing the guitar in the like knee deep in the ocean he makes just beautiful music i think this is from the seychelles album let me see let me double check hold tight yeah seychelles album which seychelles is the country that i play chess under because i'm technically a grandmaster there because there aren't any so uh i love it it makes me it makes me feel like i'm um sailing to an uncharted

island we should do that sometime by the way would that be fun if we went somewhere uncharted yeah are there any yet i don't think so there's one i'll type okay yeah go listen to oh tango suerte by the time this comes out on rusty's songs of the day tango suerte oh that's not how it goes but uh i don't even think he says that once in the song it surprised me there are very few lyrics That means I have COVID in Spanish. Isn't it oh, oh, I'm sad? No, I'm lucky. Suerte?

Nice. All right. We love you guys. Lauren, what are they commenting today? Barbecue. Comment, well, it's my birthday, so you can maybe wish me like a happy birthday. Wish Lauren a happy birthday. Comment your favorite Lauren W moment.

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Comment the link to your favorite gif. Comment the name of a gif you like. Yep. Comment a board. All right, we love you guys. Have a great rest of your Wednesday. Day. No.

Monday? Day. Have a great rest of your Monday. Have a great Tuesday, and we will see you bright and early for our Wednesday episode. We love you so, so, so much. Take it easy, playa. Thanks for watching!