Will & Rusty's Playdate - my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon

Episode Date: April 30, 2025

AFTV member and good friend Billy Langdon joins us as we chat about the intense hikes in Willy's future and his beef with Chet. And is Rusty in the wrong for a stunt he pulled on his sister at the airport? FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP OUR MERCH: https://almostfriday.shop/collections/playdate-pod RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/album/5lI3NmJRBOm8ubvLaLlYLE?si=9LNf8o07TVS38NXq0l3vjw SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: USE BETMGM BONUS CODE PLAYDATE AND GET YOUR $1500 FIRST BET OFFER TODAY https://promo.nj.betmgm.com/en/promo/geolocator?orh=promo.betmgm.com&wm=7123555 00:00 Intro 1:14 - Number One 11:26 - Orlando Plane Caught On Fire 20:38 - Willy’s Viral Hike 40:43 - Is Rusty in the Wrong 44:39 - Roadmap 55:14 - Pitch Submissions 1:12:19 - Pitches 1:22:34 - Teach Me Something 1:29:32 - This Guy Rocks 1:35:35 - Pool Dives That Don't Exist 1:42:03 - First Date Ideas That Don’t Exist 1:47:08 - Rustys song of the day #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

episode 101 dalmatians yes who's dalmatian damn you got there fast we have we have uh billy you can't tell you can't tell anyone i said this but i texted it to lauren last night and then i told my girlfriend it on the plane billy's my favorite person to have on playdate i'm honored i have so much fun on here i disliked it and then went on his phone and unsent it so do with that what you will i have so much to prove now i'm gonna change your mind willie uh you just wait yeah i can't wait i'm just kidding i love having you on billy um thanks man and for episode 101 it feels special to kick off the new century yeah what do we do now for the i think we start over so it's someone who wore number one or someone who's one years

old yeah wait what do you mean we start over so we do like on episode 97 we guessed someone who's either 97 years old or wore the number 97 as a as an athlete okay so someone who wore number one uh or is one or is one bill it's like a really high profile baby and i have to give uh i have to give you a name you have to guess who it is no no we just have to think of one collectively oh okay that's what does that mean i thought you're like i have to guess who it is i thought i was gonna give you a name and they're either a one-year-old child or someone who wore the number one and you have to guess with no information it's not like always a competition billy that's what i'm glad it's not i hate competition i just want to be liked i want to work together

okay holy fuck i don't know any one-year-olds i'm trying to think there's gotta be like a famous baby that's normal i was thinking too i was getting disappointed i couldn't think of any no but there's gotta be someone that was like born last year that it was like no way blank had a baby yeah oh but justin bieber's kid is he like tweaking now wait does he have a kid yeah i was skeptical he was he was born in like december i want to say the baby's child what's his name actually i could no no no no july he's a leo i do remember that no his name is jack blue bieber jack blue okay jack bieber look up jack blue wait what about number one who is number one yeah i was thinking about it's harder to think of than i would i feel like a character from a movie

would wear number one like troy from troy bolton isn't one retire what yeah what famous yankee wore lou gehrig you know how bad your disease has got to be for them to for them to start calling it like billy langdon's the worst how good you got to be a baseball yeah what is it how bad the diseases are how good you are at ball i think it's a combination of both also lou gehrig is retired that like lou gehrig's disease sounds like a real thing billy langdon's disease no no dude you got Langdon's. Try Joe DiMaggio. Langdon's. Stage four Langdon's. Alright, let's

try and figure this out. What would everyone's last name's disease be? Yeah, how would they, like, phrase it? Who's the disease? Like, if you had Dinellon's disease. Oh, yeah. No, you've got a case of Willie's D. That's when your balls are eight times the size of your penis.

I feel like Langdon's sounds scary. Langdon's does sound scary. I'm sorry. If you have Willie's D, is it your balls are really big or your penis is really small your balls have swollen to eight times the size and i think they're so swollen that your normal size penis looks microscopic yeah all the blood's going to you to like keep those things alive yeah like you know if your balls get so big it almost like draws your penis in because it's like pressuring around yeah yeah you can't even

find it you remember like in the incredibles just like out of the crack between your balls and you never know where it's going to come it's like a it's like a vertical line get the whole thing in the toilet so that it doesn't get all over they gotta get special toilets for you i was in the pool i was at the pool on saturday at my dad's house and i had my sister was like oh you have something on your face and my dad happened to be watering the plants and she was like dad spray it off and he had he had it on like the jet setting yeah and then had the presence of mind to be like we're all adults here and so he switched it to the one that like comes out like that but like that's what i'm picked where it comes out to straight line yeah

yeah i forget what it's called i believe flat yeah there it is i was gonna say cone i think flat is the one dude there was some good those that was fun dude playing with the hose oh my god the settings yeah i love the missed one though uh playing like you know when you're out you know you were being the shower like someone else someone news shower you're at a hotel and you're like what could this setting possibly be for like there's one that comes out like an smg where it's like you're going through it's fun as a kid how dirty would i need to be i think they're just like having fun it's just like let's read let's just have a little fun with what you're like the hose company hired them for like six months of work and they like

they kind of nailed the first two settings like well we gotta yeah immediately contracts so the last couple was like they had a big writer's room like everyone wanted to get their idea i'm telling you shower okay they actually like that's why it took six months like because nobody everybody wanted their idea to get made it took months to figure out how to pick it like there was a lottery at one point what is mist mist has to be for like the water tiniest little most fragile plant yeah i think it's like you're you have flowers in your garden that that if you sprayed them with jet it would like de-root them jet jet jet is if there's like bird shit on the side of your house and you just stand there and hit it with jet until it goes to it the

best is just when you have like a raw hose and you would just do it with your finger oh yeah dude what honestly at what point did someone have no like not enough fun doing that to where like we need a whole head for this that's the best way to do it that would be fun to make like a gimmicky like shower heads that are like have like all these settings can't do anything insane like there's one that like it's like two beams that like cross there's like there's shuffle you get you get in the shower like every new song what there's what i was in a hotel when we were in vegas the i don't know if your your shower the same thing it i just stand on the other side of the shower because like if you were up close it would like peel your skin off it was so like

pressure oh it was like really hard it was like a tight that's like the opposite of every hotel because it's usually nothing yeah it's usually like you can't even get to my scalp because it just like runs off my hair i i actually have seen like one or two of those in my day where just like my mom's shower in our house growing up was just like actually would hurt your back because it would just hit the same spot and like you'd get out and it'd be red mark like a welt i think i got a sunburn on the top of my head yeah like through my hair yeah it happens your hairline gets burnt yeah and so because lately i've been taking showers oh how did it get through your hair you have such dark thick hair i know but i hiked on sunday and it was 10 hours out in the sun

just oh you like for 10 hours yeah it was insane and uh i think i just i think i put sunscreen on like my skin but i don't think it damn i didn't think yeah well girls do that like lord do you do sunscreen down the part of your hair no down like that oh the i should i no i don't that's Hey, guys, that's okay. I put sunscreen on my face. Your body, your choice. Can you go athlete to wear number one? I'm still thinking about it.

Also, Allen Iverson, maybe? You went on the full. He wore three. Fuck. Oscar Robbins. Chris Bosh. We could have landed on Chris Bosh. Oh, yeah, we could have gotten Cam Newton.

That would have been the easy one. I went to... Oh, Derrick Rose. Derrick Rose. Hey, buddy. Hi, hello. There he is. Hey, bud.

i was at my dad's house this weekend and uh his the shower in the bedroom that i stay in is so you you look you get in there and there's three knobs which already i don't like that overwhelming stuff none of them are labeled and so what through trial and error i figured out the middle one is either tub or shower simple enough yeah and then the cold goes uh counterclockwise and the hot goes clockwise and trying to find a thing where it just equals a normal temperature yeah was like like i felt like i was in like an old-timey ship steam room being like more like more like shoveling coal into the thing being like trying to channel the steam power to the right engine i've got the sinks in our house get a thousand degrees same and i feel like i feel like

a dis like uh i feel like an unintelligent person yeah every single day because i burn my hand like every day yeah like i don't know all the same state because i had that for a little bit too they just like you can't make them cold no it's like you have to turn it's like hot nozzle cold nozzle and you have to turn a little bit of the cold on as well to like make sure it doesn't get too hot but like every day i'm like washing my hands and i instinctively just like cranking go like fuck god i've done this 14 days in a row you would think i would learn it's like the that social experiment where they like put a guy in a room and the only thing in there is a button that shocks him and they see how how long you have to or how bored a guy has to get before they just

start pressing it i remember learning about that like it does not take long to just be like i got nothing going on put them in a waiting room yeah in what i what i what always confuses me is they'll be like we did this study under the guise that they were waiting for another study and that's how they get them to like be their authentic self but if i'm waiting for a study and there's like an there's a button that electrocutes me i'm probably gonna have the presence of mind to be like i think this is probably the experience i'm gonna i'm gonna go on a limb here and say if you're in a room with just a button i think it's happening now buddy treats then i would be like okay there's other treats like little snacks for you bingo you know yeah that would confuse me

enough does a guy have to eat before he shocks himself once i once i naturally run out of treats in five minutes now i'm focused on the button and i've got to push it because i have to do something the second i stop and i start to think is when it gets bad um yeah as long as you're like if you're angry birds i'd never shock myself i would be in there for four days before i realized like well i'm not home or is it wait what am i doing yeah i think just last point on the nozzles i think it should be one no matter what always that it's just like hot cold yes i was at like my girlfriend has shower like that too bragging brag and thank you and one for me too and one for me too i'll take that uh she has the double and i have gotten the point it's gonna be like

minimum nine more months of her living there and me using the shower every once in a while i told her yesterday i was like you have to do i'm never gonna i will not even try to learn this because it's two different things two and i'm like it probably would take me 45 seconds to figure it out you know but i'm like in nine months i don't think i have the mental capacity to figure this out principle principle i respect that didn't someone do a sketch where it's like oh no it's like trying to shower at your friend's house and he like turns the nozzle and then like a chain falls down with like a rubik's cube on it i like that that's very funny if not that idea a lot that's ours we should do that one of those things like you can't google that

yeah google that information i'm not gonna get the sketch yeah if i'm gonna be soaked yeah i was at uh i was at the orlando airport yesterday good one which if you're not familiar if they're if you're going to orlando on a long weekend it's a lot of families taking advantage of that to go to disney world or whatever so it's a zoo like the the pre-check line was going slower than the regular it was it was just like a mess there were no it was lawless there were no lines it was just like a glob of people and then you would like find your way to like one or two tsa agents whatever so i'm like something happened like i because i went to school in orlando like you can tell it's normally a mess but this was

beyond like the the delta line to check your bag was full with people waiting to talk to a gate agent so you're like what could have what could have happened like why do they all have questions we get i get to my gate and i look out the window and there's a plane there's a delta plane with all the um slides deployed there's a bunch of guys just looking at it being like this is not good this is hold on can yeah is this supposed to take off like this one one quick google search this plane uh left the gate went to take off caught completely on fire what oh my god yeah pull this up or i'll i actually took a picture of delta flights specifically yeah have been having a really bad run really no i feel like it's been more like american it's like boeing that's like

the second the last delta thing i heard about was like a near miss in dc like a month oh oh yeah they almost hit a private jet yeah yeah oh my god that's the one caught on fire were they still on the ground it was still on the ground so everyone was safe they got out on the side we'll put the picture that i took here amateur photography through the thing wow um and that's crazy i don't want to say i don't want to say i'm glad it happened because i'm not glad it happened but what i will say is uh there were zero first class seats available for upgrade before the fire and after two opened up and i got them so that's fantastic people were there and just like i don't want to go because i was checking the list all day so someone either yeah two people canceled

their flight because of that or something else but i i like to think that yeah two people got nervous and i got to take advantage of the situation which if i may say lightning doesn't strike twice no if a plane is currently on fire on the runway you're probably won't see the same fate it's safe it's safe to say we probably they probably learned from their mistake yeah there's no way they're gonna let it yeah has anyone uh watch episode one of the rehearsal i've not oh it came out on easter and we were praying all this so i didn't have wait what is that he is what if it was like instead of like he is risen it's like he is rising he's risen risler's birthday was on easter and he made that meme i think he's no it was last week he has no because i texted in

the Friday beers group chat it's Rizzler's birthday yeah that was last week that was on Sunday I thought I don't know I have to make some calls if it was on Sunday because I already turned I got the date totally wrong nine it was nine seven nine I know for a fact nine for a fact yeah what were you doing there's birthday what were you doing at nine I not what he's doing I can't figure out his birthday so that'll tell us everything holy shit look at that yes he's 2016. His birthday was on Saturday. That is something else. He's an Aries.

Aries. Thank God. When's your birthday, Billy? November 18th. Lauren, what's my birthday? Write that down. May 13th. Yep. September 11th. Can't forget it. Speaking of planes and my birthday,

not my birthday, but I'm having a birthday party on a plane this year. Billy, you're a Scorpio? I am, yeah. what is what is may uh is that in the areas because if he was just he's a separate conversation are you a tourist yes yeah sorry lauren and i are gonna start a podcast because right now perfect yeah we're gonna talk we're gonna talk birth signs talk about astrology i need to learn someone commented that i never let lauren talk for more than 30 seconds before i cut her off and so i'm working on that this episode thank you i did see that comment wait a second lauren um what were

you gonna say willie uh all back last episode they asked me they were like because i was telling them that sometimes when i meet people and i tell them i'm a pod producer they're like oh would you ever start your own and jack goes all right lauren give me give me a minute and i like start talking five seconds later he just turns and billy in my defense it was a snooze fest oh god what was it i don't well i don't know i wait so he was like just start talking for a minute yeah he's like talking about like the marlins roster or something that's hard yeah with no notice yeah five seconds i thought that was your new year's resolution last time i was on here you said you stopped walking with conversations when you were done with them it's true i remember you've definitely

gotten better you've gotten better the problem is though the people that i've told about it now i feel like i have to hang around and so like i will be going to ask page like a quick question and then sometimes i feel like i'm overstaying my welcome by trying to prove that i am listening yeah sometimes i hear you in her office i'm like what is he saying what are they what are they talking about no there's nothing nothing's been said nothing upsets i think you i think you can be like all right well i'm gonna run like you don't it's more just about like letting them yeah i guess i was never great at the dismount yeah i'm really good at starting conversations yeah i'm leaving them it's a way easier skill to learn all righty then yeah there's one right

there for you speaking of all right crush it leaving conversations with co-workers i was i saw carly at the airport carly's our new co-worker and seeing seeing your co-worker out it felt like i'm running into my elementary school teacher at the grocery store where it was like we were sitting there talking and she i think wanted to keep doing her thing and i kind of wanted to keep doing my thing but we both were just like so what else is new yeah and uh and either of you had any urgency to like get it anywhere we were we both told each other when we were boarding yeah over an hour oh man i learned i learned a fun trick on love on the spectrum this season one of the guys on it will always say this thing that i think is the most perfect sit like if you don't

know what to say he'll be like hey i'm having a really good time but i don't really have anything else to say yes we've talked about that you can do that like i'm having fun but i don't have anything else to say and you can sit there in silence that's perfect that actually all right well the rehearsal was great first of all you guys should watch it it's about airplanes i know i can't i fit to what it looks like it's going to be and it's unbelievable and reckless and beautiful but look at go to the slack application i slack to you and brian um this is this is about love on the spectrum this was a news article the the most recent one yeah news article that popped on my instagram today this is from the the post and courier which is the charleston newspaper

the headline is love on the spectrum star congratulates charleston tattoo shop owner for one year anniversary and if you read the description of this news article it says connor tomlinson who is from the series that spotlights people with autism as they navigate relationships gave a cameo shout out to ashley b of somerville that's a news article right that someone in charleston the charleston newspaper posted that someone in charleston booked a cameo right that's yeah i guess the more you boil it down it's like there this is not a piece of news i like to think about the writer's room at the at the charleston scene i think is what that's called yeah and they were like all right what do we got and it was such a it was such a nothing

week that they're like i don't know connor did a yeah i like the idea that a guy came in like sweating like frantic in the morning he's like guys guys guys scrap whatever you had for today just did a fucking cameo for a girl in somerville or it's like they got it's like love on the spectrum is popping they're like we gotta do something with these guys none of them are in the news cycle because they're just living their lives like i think one of them booked a cameo like all right you're on it they booked the cameo they put their most senior guy on it um if they book the cameo that is manipulating the news cycle and that makes me sick to my stomach i mean i just i've literally i was like in like shock looking at this wait did you do you

follow this account and then you saw it or yeah i followed the post and courier well he wants to keep up with all things charleston right yes um my dad also lives in somerville that's reasonable to follow where you grew up no yeah that is oh wait no connor lives in atlanta in atlanta yeah yeah you know i'm from the corner of the atl they uh she posted a great his lady posted a great instagram it was her as like like a not it was her when she was nine and it was like uh uh little did little did this person know at some point she would be uh someone's like damsel in distress or something like they just yeah they love each other in a very great spoiler yeah they were a lovely match and it made me so happy to see this i got i want to

i want to show you something look at it he's a swordsman oh my favorite one of my favorite quotes from from the season swords they do he like grabs her hand to lead her somewhere on a date and he said uh sorry they're a bit rough swordsman's hand yeah yeah and it was like that's ironic and i was like that is an electric line yeah that's great um what do you want to show so i went on this viral hike uh on sunday and and it was like it was it was harder than i expected like the last few miles to the top were like i was it was a lot um that was a full one day like non-stop yeah i mean we took you know take breaks at the top and yeah away and stuff did you eat enough it was i was eating a lot of gummies and beef jerkies and i made some sandwiches

but it was like 18 miles round trip so it was like the last few miles of the top were brutal and then when we start going down it's like all snow and like slush and so we're like like we have like poles and like you know like spikes on our shoes that weren't really doing much we're like kind of just like slowly working our way down this like big snowy cliff and i was like dude there's no way we couldn't just fucking bomb this shit on our asses right and so like look at this like oh willy you did it oh cool i forgot what if you hit rocks and shit and i was like i don't know i'm gonna fucking try it because i was so tired i was like if this is a way this works i'll shave off a couple miles yeah a couple miles oh that's fantastic you're supposed to be

doing like switchbacks here too like you're not like it's really steep so you're supposed to be going like back and forth wait is it rough at all on the bum uh yeah it was a little bumpy on my ass and i got my whole pants got soaking wet i was about to say that i took that i think i cut moments of glory for a couple hours of wet pants but it dried so quickly because it was like sunny and pretty decently warm also your ass radiates a lot of heat yeah yours specifically right so i literally shaved off like a i think a mile of our hike just for doing that sound like a cartoon did scott join you yeah he was a little reluctant but like i was having it was actually like i haven't felt like childlike wonder like that yeah so long i was like that's beautiful you can kind of hear

us in the video we're like giggling along it's very funny when's the last time you felt childlike wonder uh i feel i feel like i feel it on a daily basis um let's think about the last time oh i ate sushi in bed last night and that always when you're you play a dangerous game you bring miso into the bedroom and uh that was just miso miso what horn me willie i felt i felt childlike wonder the other day i was on a long walk around venice and there's a swing just on on the side of the road and i was just i just got up on it popped on there that's awesome someone ran out of there i was like get off my swing no no but it wasn't someone's property it was like on like the it was a public park or just in the middle of the road no it was a random swing but it was on the it was

on the other side of the sidewalk so it's like that's public land do you remember when you first figured out how to like use momentum to swing on your own oh the kicks yeah it's yeah my mom my mom had to had to peel me off the playground our our kindergarten ended with an hour recess that parents could kind of like they didn't all come at once you could just come get your kid anytime during this thing and uh i would sit there and pump just for forever but she one of her favorite stories she was watching watching me and my friend garrett in the sandbox there's like another kid in there with us and uh you're at that age where like you just don't you don't realize like anything you're doing and like you don't understand that certain things are funny yet so like kids just

like kind of go through life without any anxiety about embarrassing themselves we're describing childhood right now yeah she she said that we were sitting there i'm familiar with it we came out like this okay so kids they're innocent and they're okay i realize go back a little i apologize this third this third kid apparently let the stinkiest loudest fart go ever in the sandbox and me and my friend garrett just like kept going like didn't even acknowledge it and she was like i had to excuse myself because like it wasn't appropriate for me to be like like laughing she didn't understand why we didn't think it was funny and so she was just cracking up and then had to Like, go collect yourself and then come back.

That's hysterical. Nothing funnier than a stinky fart. I had some stink bombs this weekend. What were you eating? I don't know. Regular stuff, I think. List it. I'll be the judge of that.

Regular sandwich, I think. I don't even remember. I had a cheese sandwich. I had a cheese machine. Sometimes your tummy just needs a little reset and it's going to just rip some gnarly boys. It was like... At least you were outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or were you, like... No, it was that day. Zipped into a tent. No, no, we didn't camp at all. So it was so bad that you were hiking a snowy mountain and you could still smell your fart? Yes, yes. And Scott could, too.

That would have melted the wallpaper. I mean, he had to go ahead of me the whole way because he was like, Jesus fucking Christ. There was one point we stopped for food and I farted and he was like, oh my God. And we had to get him to start moving again. I ate shit like 10 times doing that before I decided to slide on my butt.

It was a tough one. Yeah, that was to clean your butt is what i'm that was the wiping that was just wiping my ass was blood the whole way down like no it looks bad that feels way better the shit ends and the blood starts almost insane the other day i got into bed and i let one rip and i just like sometimes you know you can tell it's like i don't think that's gonna smell yeah i thought it was one of those and then it did and then like julia walks in the room and i just go run julio run go you can't we can't cross this threshold that's all i was gonna say on a long hike like this do you i mean i feel like it's

mostly with scott like did you ever get sick of each other or like okay i don't want to talk to him for like a bit that's a long time we don't really talk or we didn't talk yeah i mean what do you mean like you didn't talk i need clarity we talked for spats of it yeah but i would say most of it we're not talking when you're actually full on hiking that's so fair i feel like you don't really talk well i was also fucking i feel like it's important to be with someone close enough to where you don't feel like you have to also true yeah yeah just go silent we're definitely past yeah we don't need to be yeah yeah that's good also i'm more of the he's kind of a quiet guy so it was mostly me talking at him probably but it's like getting shit off your chest it was

yeah that hill coming up to our office like if you get caught with a co-worker and they're trying to have a conversation you're like trying not to show how out of shape you are but like i'll be walking up next someone will be asking questions like i don't i don't know oh my god yeah he was he was definitely doing better than i was like at the top like he was kind of going ahead of me and i had to catch up and how long did you guys chill at the top for 30 minutes or something it's kind of boring i did a scenic piss i got i'm on scenic pisses are you well it hasn't gone up yet but it got approved that's cool i peed so the peak of it is the highest elevation in all of southern california and because it was san gorgonio i like that name a lot we kind of went early like since

there's still snow and stuff so we're the only ones at the top so i got on top of the highest rock and pissed off and so i had the highest possible piss in southern california that's like this is the peak of your career the pinnacle of maybe your life that's like a resume thing like at one point you were the highest pisser in southern california yeah like i don't know if anyone ever pissed off it was kind of gross to piss off that because like um it's like a but it was boring up there yeah it was cool like we ate and stuff but then it was kind of like no angry birds so i guess like i'd rather get the head start on going down but then we flew down it took i was scared that because then we're just like it's gonna get dark it took like six hours

something six something hours to get up but then it took like three hours to get down getting dark on the hike would actually be really spooky i would not like that no no we got back at like four so it was we were totally fine i was just where if it took as long as to get down as it took to get up which it would never but like in theory then it would have gone what time did you leave venice we had to get up at 3 30 we left that's tough at four holy shit i want to get your thoughts on this yeah going up first going down do you have a one that you like less because going up really it's so much worse i feel like going down is like really uncomfortable and like not as easy as it hurts your joints but you're doing that like like your like feet like all

your whole weight of your body is like hitting yeah you're kind of stumbling you got to like land on your toes almost i don't know it's not it's definitely yeah but it's you also already seen everything like on the way up it's like a new every step is a new thing on the way down it's like i get it yeah i kind of agree like in theory but like this hike was i don't know this was it was it's also like the elevation's getting like the air is getting thinner as you're going up too so it gets like harder i don't know yeah this one sucked going up i did not have fun the last two miles i was miserable are you good on hiking for a bit did this scratch your itch or you want anymore no because scott's doing this like gnarly hike of the year in um is that like the actual

name not the hike he's doing you are so painfully uncultured i can't even i can't you know what it is no i don't so he's like he needs to be doing a bunch of stuff with like pat like heavy packs and like long and so i'm down to how many days is that hike he's going for like it's like weeks in the argentinian mountains so yeah the highest peak in south america that's gonna be a island experience the two of us are doing the highest peak in mexico in november because he's like trying to do all the stuff to prepare and i said i would do that one so how hot how what is the comparison of the peak in mexico to the one you just did i actually don't know that's fucking crazy yeah can you google orizaba how do you say how do you spell i can't read all the letters from

here i mean that's like that might as well be like mount everest yeah yeah for yeah does he need like oxygen for that one i don't think so but i think it's a lot of like act get like stopping and acclimating and stuff oh but you know with like mount everest like they go up like almost like three quarters of the way and then like go back down do they go back down i thought they just go up chill there for like a week yeah i think they literally go back down oh you go like boom boom boom and then you can finally do it why not just get it why not just bang it out in an afternoon i don't know i don't know you know i almost imagine you get really high for a bit and your system gets sort of accustomed to that and come down you could like live way easier

at the slightly lower elevation yeah it's like you can get more food like you wouldn't be able to bring enough food to last how long you would need to acclimate or something maybe yes but also yeah like see so that's like 10 days or something but also the thing about this is or 14 days i guess wait there's a helicopter right at the bottom of the map why don't they just take the funny thing is like ridiculous why is it all the way down there it should be the top of them you don't know like it's all dependent on whether like the weather whether you can sum it yeah so like they're gonna do all this and then it's like kind of a crapshoot on the last day about whether you actually get the oh yeah no thank you i love i love some like casual hiking around here i think

i'd do one like i would be willing to try like a big one the way you did this weekend see what i see what i think yeah i mean i think oh cool it's called the mountain of death perfect that's the translation wait can you look up like or is this has the nickname or something or is that i think billy correct me if i'm wrong i'm not an explorer but i feel like the mountain of death is probably the mountain one you might work up to a little bit yeah uh later in your life maybe when you come to terms with death itself that's the one on pico de orazaba sounds like it's like 19,000 special salsa it does that's like that's our house made pico de orasabua you gotta try it you're going to mexico for this yeah in november well the mountain's not coming here right right

it'll be like three days that's a crazy shot with like whatever that is in the that is oh so you're like you're you were summiting like a real mountain yeah it's just becoming kind of clear to me right now i kind of was just like yes god i'll do that man can we like put sponsors on you like a NASCAR driver and then you got to do story content the whole way up sorry Scott we got to stop yeah I have to do a quip ad to do a yada ad um this has nothing to do with what we're talking about but oh my god yeah this is this is I don't know if you're scary is this are we watching you live realize yeah I've never looked it up I've actually haven't looked it up yet do you own any of this equipment uh i i spent 500 at rei this weekend so maybe halfway there and i'm a member

now at rei they get you oh they got you i i didn't i didn't do it i put my heels in the ground i put them in the dirt and i said i'm not doing well i didn't do it it's gotta be worth it because i know that i'm gonna need yeah yeah yeah more you will you will be doing more of this that's true yeah i just like i don't know that when i got to rei though i i like pulled up to the general parking lot and there's a guy in his trunk like clapping chalk on his hands i was like yeah yeah Yeah, I'm here. It just scales the building. Yeah, I think you're going to climb the R.E.I.

That's where all the deals are. Let's say you get to your nine-to-five job at, like, the third level of the R.E.I. I do like that place. I feel put together when I'm there. Something about it. It's cool. You feel put together in the R.E.I.? Yeah.

What, because, like, everyone else is not? No. No, because everyone else is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like you feel like you're, like, yeah. I had to get a travel backpack. I feel like when I'm in there, there are zero people that have jobs. like i feel like i'm at home it'll be like a tuesday oh like yeah there's no like peak hours

like after work is when everybody goes like just all day it's a roll like i would go when i was in college to like pick something up and there were guys at like noon on tuesday like getting ready for some sport that doesn't exist yeah yeah i hear you let's draft this today um i was talking to my friend julia yesterday so she went to baits with my sister she played on the basketball team and she texted me that she was in an argument about whether or not cooper flag had been to this bar that we go to whatever and then that led us down like a rabbit hole just like we were catching up whatever and i remembered she the first time we met this girl julia middlebrook came over to her house and she had like this huge we'll put a picture we'll put a blurred i had chat gpt blurred

the genuinely was waiting for a picture to pop up but she had this giant gash on her arm like it looked it was like gnarly gnarly and i was like what happened do you mind this is the first time we've met this is like the first conversation we're having she was on the basketball team at base she said she wanted to sharpen her skills so she went to the roughest park in lewiston to play against like the local lewiston people and like if you know anything about lewiston like that is where you could get into some trouble he's like trying to try to try to play hardball with the boys down there and she's like whatever i beat this guy he was pissed that he lost to a girl so he stabbed me in the arm and i was like what and where did there were like 10 people at

dinner at our house like what that's insane and she was like yeah and like kind of filled in the rest of the blanks leaves the house i don't see her for another couple months and i was like how's the did they ever catch that guy she's like what are you talking about she just she just thought it would be funny to just make up a story she was just walking through campus and like nicked it on a pole or something and it it went horribly but she was like she that would have been funny to be like no i'm just joking but she left the house without telling me that is crazy not clarified yeah one hole that i saw i was gonna ask you about and then you revealed that you're playing basketball where's the where are you keeping the knife on you like you don't want your phone in

your pocket like you're gonna play ball with a knife i guess in case it like a fight maybe it's a peaky blinders type thing oh like he had a hat on he goes like he's got razor blades on his hat yeah oh i was just thinking maybe he was like in his backpack or something yeah like walking over to his backpack pulled out a knife and chased after get over here yeah um that would have been a great story to just uh come back around and be like hey by the way i was kidding but i also kind of love that she waited weeks to tell you yeah like the payoff yeah oh long con you know we're getting more there are more parents that are we've like noticed that are more like moms that are playmates lately yeah billy billy we have uh we get dms of people's little babies sitting like

twice right a little bit yeah yeah like that's more than i would have thought they'll send a picture of them on the couch and the baby's like locked into the tv oh my god that's amazing they could just leave playdate on all day for their kids do you imagine the views insane but I was at the airport yesterday and there was a you're talking to the babies turn into that we were like

the views keep going up cocoa melon we just become like cocoa melon first ever podcast for babies it's just a five minute segment every time I was just getting on the plane

and there was a family waiting to board with their parents and we were at the desk trying to figure out this check in situation and she like ran up and was like

oh my god I love the podcast while she was holding her baby oh I was like oh this is this is happening we're breaking into the mom market

it's a cool market I love that I wonder if my mom watches I'm trying to find me a mom me I wanna I wanna

mommy you wanna mommy like step into a mother's life and take care of a kid wear her skin step into a mother's body

I wanna be a father well he's getting married this year but I don't wanna have the kid I just wanna step into a single mother's life and be the father and be the father

of the of the soul provider of a child correct I think you're ready for it I'm ready I saw a picture on Twitter You're hiking a mountain

Yeah With your buddy I'm looking for babies I think you're ready dude I'm super hiking I'm looking for babies up there They're not around here Nope

Oh did you pass any Sorry well Last question about your hike Did you Was there a lot of other people on it No we literally saw like Six people the whole day Oh wow

But it was It's cause like this I think most people Go once the snow melts But yeah We kept seeing this one guy He was trying to descend And he kept descending

And we'd keep seeing him As he went up And he was freaking out He passed us descending Five different times I don't know I keep going higher and i'm walking down and i don't know what's happening there was like an older lady that

started right when we started though and she was like on pace with us the whole time and i was like that is so fucking badass wow probably like a 50 something year old woman hey that's not old yeah older prime of her life but like people who do that a lot yeah it was just yeah no it was just impressive yeah speaking of the like you want to be a mom's boyfriend this kid this guy tweeted a photo the other day that was cracking me up he dropped he dropped his uh girlfriend's kid off at basketball tryouts and he it's just one tiny white kid and then a bunch of full-grown like black kids and he just goes i just dropped my girlfriend's uh son off at tryouts they're gonna they're gonna fucking kill him or something like he's gonna get eaten alive no i i i would my son

would make the team yeah because what you just put so much pressure that i think he's there's no life for him back at home unless he makes it right that's the only way to do it i think that's isn't that kind of i was watching the tiger woods documentary with no sound that was kind of the vibe i got that his dad was like i'm gonna make him be good that was it was like a he was he essentially grew him in a lab yeah like he they only they only let him do school and golf and then that's what happens when you when you create so much like pent-up aggression or whatever like like yeah like they've never experienced fun the second they you let them loose they go it's like your your friend who had strict parents in high school yeah and they get to college oh you're

saying like yeah with like yeah you end up partying a little too much i think it kind of sucks because it seems like with so many pro athletes like the formula was like a dad who just suffocated them with his own desires and like made their life hell and they became an athlete so it just sets the tone of like oh no this will work you can do this right i'm doing that my kid's gonna be a podcaster and i'm gonna start oh you're gonna get him in dude he's gonna love it you're gonna get him a little fisher price the thing that spins around him over his bed is just like microphones and headphones subliminal messaging from day one it's gonna be awesome i got a question for you guys hit me so uh once again i'm trying to figure out if i was in the wrong in this situation oops

uh my sister was leaving a couple hours later than i was to fly uh fly home after easter and so the plan she had to take meetings so the plan was i was going to bring her to the airport check her into the lounge and then get on my flight to leave cool and it was one of those ones where you had to talk to a a person like usually you can just scan your ticket and then you click a button there's no like human interaction so i was thinking like yeah i can just click like i'm going in and then slip her in and leave we get up you have to check in with a physical person and the lady was like for two and i didn't want to waste two things so i was like is there any way i could just check my sister in and then leave and then the woman's like no

a member has to be here or whatever and then i was like oh okay and my sister threw a temper tantrum when we left that like i didn't try i didn't fight hard enough to let her i was like i feel like they have pretty set in stone rules like yelling at this one person to let you in wouldn't have changed anything and so she stormed off without saying goodbye really no you're not in the wrong i don't think you're in the wrong you want you wanted her to be in there yeah yeah it's also like you don't owe her that no that's what i said i was like i was talking to flan i was like it wasn't like i did a bad thing i just me trying to do a good thing didn't succeed and then i'm somehow now the i also totally agree with you i'm i'm a bit of a nervous coward but yes i if i'm

like you have noticed if there's like a rule at some place and the person there just tells me like hey we can't do this like i know there is a genre of person that will kind of like push as far as they can yeah and typically maybe make it work yep and then there's the other genre like us where we just go like oh okay that's the rule i get it i don't feel like fighting no and there people waiting i was like i was like i don't want it felt weird yeah to me to like push there because it's embarrassing too like i didn't want it to i don't know it felt odd no i get it i don't think you're in the wrong tmz a podcaster has meltdown over there's tmz guy drooling outside like literally dumping drool on the floor waiting for you to say something tell them the rule

there were like kids our age too so i was embarrassed to be like i think like it's kind it felt to me like when someone tries to like send food back at a restaurant where i was like we're making a scene here like let's just roll over yeah and eat it like just move on chicken let's leave i probably would have been like oh shoot like that's a bummer like that person said that we could do this or i've done it before but then i feel like there's a to an extent it's like i would be like not worth it oh great well you just pissed off the bad boy of yelp fuck you yeah get ready oh great this is gonna be the worst day of your life you don't want my idea about being the bad boys of yelp no baseline horrible reviews so they have to impress you

you develop a reputation like the simon cowell kind of like a regular dining experience is a zero out of ten for me so they have to fucking pull out all the stops if they want to get a good they have to put on a show yeah exactly yeah you know you should where are you gonna start you should start this uh i want to start with like local mom and pop stuff that is like trying to make it yeah well early on where they've got like five reviews so your review your one star would hold a ton of weight you're like literally tanking small businesses bingo do you think you get a better better service if you walk into the shirt that says like i leave awful yelp reviews um or like maybe just i'm on yelp i wonder if they turn you away for that like some places

we're okay I think I would wear one of those shirts on the boardwalk that's like property of Mike's pussy yeah those boardwalk shirts just get more clever every year oh god

alright should we road map it up road map road map alright we got a lovely episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches Followed by everyone's favorite segment Teach me something

Anything I'm begging you I don't know a thing Followed by this guy rocks This guy rocks This guy rocks today Hey hey I said this guy rocks And he rocks so hard He rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard There's rocks in my yard

Yeah it's totally normal Very normal When were there rocks In my yard you ever get hit by we talk about this every week but you ever get hit by like a rock

coming from your dad's lawnmower or something like that we don't talk about this every week we did talk about this you said it last episode oh I sometimes I

as if we're engaging in it I think he's saying we talk about this every week now so he's starting to sometimes I have a bad feeling when I go to say something that I think about

and I'm like surely I've said that more than well I've noticed doing a podcast twice a week doing a podcast twice a week has absolutely cooked my ability to remember

like when or who i've told the story to oh i bet i was i all the time scott's like dude and i'm like i fuck like i don't i thought i did that on a podcast yeah sorry i didn't know yeah and then we're gonna do uh we got two great drafts for you guys today jesus we're gonna do pool dives that don't exist followed by first date ideas that don't exist and then we're gonna wrap up with rusty's song of the day last time i checked it had 700 saves on spotify hoping you're what do you mean every episode i add a song to a spotify playlist yeah i like that my thinking is it's a long con for when he drops a song yeah he puts it in there yeah we only have we only have like three to four hours a week with the playmates and that's not enough time on your

guys mind i want to be in your ears 24 7 so if you if you get hooked on a playlist that i have control over i can pretty much take control of your entire day it's true i also on saturday i started recording a new song so that'll be my end game is to get it on rusty song of the day good luck oh that could be never let you on there like labels labels pay us like like i would take i would add a song for like 500 bucks yeah i mean 700 people might not quite warrant that yeah there are services where people can like pay to pitch like to certain places like regular people and they'll do it and they'll pay to get on oh they'll pay for you don't you have a christmas playlist that has like or that's what someone here whitney i think has a christmas playlist that has like

a hundred thousand of viral like she somehow i'll figure out who it is later but they somehow came up with like exact the title is exactly what you would search on christmas to find a good playlist yeah and they like i guess got to market early and now have like a viral spotify playlist i was looking at like the back end of like that song i did in november and like one of the biggest ways it's still getting listened to is that there's some playlists like that that's like road trip vibes or something that has like hundreds of thousands of saves that they added me on it is huge for plays if you can get on a random yeah play like a playlist it's huge but people also will listen to you and not always on that in that context like

learn about who you are right they've no it just like comes on yeah they're apparently you can see what playlist is that what you're talking about you can see the title of the playlist so like yes musicians will go to see what they're on and i think sometimes that could sting depending on what the context is yeah yeah what if you were what if like you checked like hey like where are all these listens coming from and it was like worst songs worst songs ever it's like why does it all say pussy eating music it's all there's like eight of those this one says box munching but that just feels like a that's just a synonym you're gonna love willie's new single it is great for pussy eating yeah i think yeah it's like long drives good vibes home for spring

those i can live with all those those all sound like where you'd want to be yeah long drives and good vibes i had a crush on a girl in high school and i wanted her spotify and she had a very clear sex playlist for who and whoever she was having sex with. What was it called? It was like, did not beat her on the bush. I can't remember,

but it was like, it was clear she was getting it somewhere else. You know what's funny about the, oh, she was sourcing, she wasn't sourcing her own sex playlist. No, I'm saying like she was, it was clear she was getting loving from someone else

because she had a playlist that was like music to, music to bone town too? It was like, I was shocked it was a public playlist yeah music music i get railed too the weekend used to be like for a bit like the sex playlist guy and i think it's gotten to the point if that is on your sex playlist it feels weird it's like two it's like basically someone chanting sex

i i remember there was this teyana taylor album that i used to always listen to and now it's just ruined it for me when it was a really good you know that album gets you hard every time you always listen to it when you had sex like there was a time in my life in so how do you because i was never a music on guy how do you what was like you bring a girl home and you're like you're like no this was like a relationship thing when we slip our ears into something more comfortable there's like a relationship thing in it when i lived in a college dorm where the walls were four inches oh so you had to it was kind of a note and i knew all my neighbors yeah but i just remember this there's this one yeah you know you know teyana taylor you know

that no i really liked hurry by her yeah do you know that song yeah that was on that was on yeah it's a great song yeah hurry my college sex play great song hurry hurry it's all hurry they're almost home hurry you have to finish having sex i think you showed me some of that teyana taylor music when were you trying to it was the album i forget what it came out yeah like the summer before college i don't know the rest of that album but it was like kanye produced kanye was on that one yeah i was hearing about this album recently from someone i don't know it's a fantastic what's the the hit on that it's something i don't know but i feel like if you're not a sexy person music during hooking up is not sexy it's uh it's got to be very it's got to be curated well

otherwise it can be very unsexy wait go back i think a lot of people just like especially when you're younger the silence of it all without music can make some people uncomfortable is that it one party sometimes would be like hey do you want to throw some music on and it's just blast flipknot it's kc i mean all right you hear a pitch yeah okay also uh you know i got this new crew neck and you know the like my black one fits really well it's the more you wash it's this like haynes blank and i'm finally getting it to a point oh breaking it in like better when you wash it more washing makes it better more washing you see i wash it as hard as i can and then i dry it as hot as i can so you shrink it no it just like becomes like you know

all my hoodies like sit i guess you don't know my closet but you know how all my hoodies sit everyone knows i try and get my i try and get my my t-shirts and hoodies like as like hard as possible like i want them to like people to sit up on their own yeah and what i've learned through that is wash it really hard and then dry it on the highest setting to like it's like essentially baking it in an oven and then it comes out crispy

I'm too scared to dry anything that I care about like I hang dry pretty much everything you hand dry it? hang dry like on my drying rack I was picturing you like wringing like a dress out especially if you get a stain on it you're cooked you know what kind of fucked my I got my I think

I wish this was pants mock up I think I wish this was pants no i wish that could be the follow-up like i wish this fits i think i wish it might be funnier actually i think i wish this was bad did you get a stain oh i got it the same day that i got that shirt from uh tanner or the red one yeah there was like bright red yeah and like i think washing something that hadn't been washed that's that red with something that hadn't been washed that's that like white I wish this was pants shirt

is now like kind of red I thought that only happened in like sitcoms what if you wash it on hot the colors mix if you wash it on cold I didn't wash it on hot what's the default I do all my colors together but I do cold I only do cold basically

I don't have to separate my colors because I just put everything on cold but here's the thing it was in the wash with other of those like 1801 blank same color shirts that i own and none of those were effective well maybe it is i think it was the perfect storm that one was susceptible to be changed but also you probably had it on warm sometimes i like to tumble dry for a little bit not fully dry it so it doesn't shrink and then

let it hang so it gets like the tumble dry gets a little wrinkles out i only tumble dry everything my mom did the your heathen when i was a kid she would hang dry and then tumble it was it was hang dry or like put on the rack to dry and then put it in the dryer to get the wrinkles out ironing is very I hate it I hate it so much it's really a fun world we live in with all these possibilities I know so many routes to

go down when you're doing your laundry and now that everybody's asleep should we wake them up? as you all know by now we've teamed up with BetMGM this season we'll be using BetMGM lines to make all our picks and we'll have special offers for our listeners each week If you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code PLAYDATE and you will get up to a $1,500 first bet offer on your first wager with BetMGM.

Willie, tell them how it works. Download the BetMGM app and sign up using bonus code PLAYDATE. Then deposit at least $10 and place your first wager on any game and you will receive up to $1,500 in bonus bets if your bet loses. Just make sure you use bonus code PLAYDATE when you sign up. and don't forget if you haven't signed up for betmgm yet use bonus code playdate and get your 1500 first bet offer today you can even bet on my next to win this the whole thing all right i love you jack tell them you love them love you let's get back into the episode okay pitches first pitch is from parker stevens parker says parker hello where is he's in that camera that camera um

he's in that camera oh hello he's also in this camera is he you guys split him in half sorry buddy parking all right parker says these cameras are parker's horcrux what is up dennis mac and d have you ever been on a road trip dennis mac d and me and me what well he just said in me have you ever been on a hike or wait what have you ever been on a road trip or maybe on a hike and saw a house or something off in the distance and wondered i wonder how i get there or i wonder what that place is yes well now you don't have to wonder with location pins this is a feature for google maps where you can take a picture of a place off in the distance and it will pin the location on your map it will show you what the place is as

well as a route to get there if the place is notable or a business of some sort it will give you information about the location it will also store old pin locations so you can go back and view them later if you want to i think this is a great idea for curious people or for those that enjoy exploring keep up the good work on the pod and please get help for your drinking lauren i love this i also think this guy i think this guy might be in in my brain i was driving uh in west hollywood yesterday and you ever look up west houses in the hills and you're like how the fuck is there a because there's no road it's just like planted on the side yeah of a mountain essentially you're like there's i don't see any road i don't see a driveway

yeah yesterday a real thought i had was maybe there's a tunnel from the other side of the mountain and like you park your you like pull off that road i i i funny had a similar thought this weekend too not that exact one because that would be insane if we both thought that um but i was hiking as well and i was just like looking around like kind of just clocking things in the distance wondering like what is that um there's got to be some privacy issues you got to work on you know if someone if i'm looking at someone's home i shouldn't be able to take a picture and get directions there if i'm on a hike that's actually kind of a good point well maybe you can like opt into this yeah if there's a way to opt in why would you want 100 bucks you

get money done you got money for your business but money for your business yeah money for your business from google yeah i like the idea it's good as long as we can protect single family homes from being invaded wait uh you have my money i think we should sell it to like black rock and then they can buy they can they can make it more expensive for single mothers to live in i like that and they're very good at that they would they would have that figured out in a day yep how to do that it would take us way longer to get there also shout out to our new big sponsor black rock we uh this will be the last podcast we don't need to work anymore yeah you ever watch a full movie on like tiktok yeah watch a good portion of one yeah i found an account

yesterday that posted it wasn't the big short but it was the other one that it was about what's that margin call yes so i watched margin call out of order in 13 second clips with like uh uh subway surfers as half the screen so like they didn't post them in order oh so you had to go back and be like okay what's next no no i was just scrolling through the page and it happened to be all margin call but i kind of got the gist of what they were doing there and i don't think those guys are very good guys no uh no they're not so what they had they had to decide they were like the world's gonna end it's better if we do it than if someone else does it what do you mean if we do it so they were like we end the world they're like they initiated this one firm initiated like selling

everything off and we're like this is gonna start it but like it's better if we get to it first than if someone else does that was what i gathered granted i watched it i have not watched it it was in 13 second chunks so and you and i mean that's how i feel like sayings that don't exist are going to lead to the downfall of our civilization but it's better if somebody else was going to do it yes so like just get ahead of it also start the process if you're the fucking kid out there that does he's been doing sayings that don't exist if you're the kid that does it out there and you're not giving us any credit i hope i hope you have just an okay year i hope i hope you look i hope you get to new year's this year and everyone around there talks

about all the cool stuff they did and the only thing you did with your life was rip off two humble podcasters i'm not a part of the podcast so i can say this hey prick asshole fuck i i i think you will continue doing this and i and i know that you won't feel good about the achievements you make because they're not from your own original thought right i kind of i initially i was like i don't really care about other people do that's like kind of fun but there is one guy that's like his whole following is just that yeah yeah well if he couldn't come up with the first idea on his own any following idea is not going to be his either you can just keep stealing shit but you don't feel good about that that's right i have a question you're what you

just said reminded me that i wanted to ask thank you your girlfriend went and met your family at your house well she'd already met them oh this past weekend she had met everyone except for like extended family but we did uh we did easter together and i had never gone on a trip with a girlfriend before and it was just the whole weekend me making me checking in to see if she was having fun which yeah uh was she allegedly that that is a feeling that i didn't like yeah he's like i mean it's at least you're considerate of that you know some people do that and be like i have fun yeah because i i like doing nothing and she does too but when you fly someone somewhere you make someone fly to the other side of the country doing nothing felt a

little bit different like we would spend most of the day just like laying out and i was constantly worried i made her time me holding my breath a bunch so that i was keeping her entertained yeah that must have killed a couple hours i beat my dad by four seconds and he owed me i got a pair it was a weird bet but i wanted a new pair of pants and so i got a pair of pants i got a new pair of pants too nice guess what do you pay for them we're it's all it's a continuation of our morphing into each other they're gray carhartt pants oh let's go you have gray carhartts that's all i wear it is yeah you have gray carhartts no she's not we just had a no but i was like i was like checking out these pants and i was like oh fuck i didn't even think about this i don't think

i own that at all no no no it was just fun are they the exact same ones i don't know that's awesome probably close i got them at a store i uh she asked me what i want for my birthday and i think i'm gonna get i haven't worn these since the three of us live together carhartt shorts i completely forgot oh is that the ones you bought out here we yes yeah we went to a flea market that was the same day i got my uh i'm retired this is as dressed up as i get shirt which uh i've officially retired that shirt why no i don't know why it's it's i want to preserve it as long as possible and the more i wear it the looser the neck gets don't want to don't want to don't want to throw any thorny stones from a glass house but you ever seen that

yellow nike shirt that chester has we're like the neck is collapsing on itself and you're like we got it try not to look at his neck he doesn't like when we do that i think he stopped wearing the shirt but like there are some shirts where you're like that this will be a cool shirt to have my whole life yeah but i need to start being more selective about it so that and i have a madness skateboard it's a it's a shirt that my friend got me got for me in high school uh i was really into the movie mid 90s she found out the shirt supplier of the movie and tracked down a madness skateboard uh shirt oh let's say and that one also is deteriorating a little bit and you put a lot of work went into that so you have to take care of so they're stacked on top of each other

in a bin in my closet and then all my other stuff is in you know when i won all that money at the horse race i spent all on legos yeah that giant bag it's filled with clothes under my bed now it's nice nice so these are all clothes you're trying to save for the long term not like retiring fully my favorite thing growing up was taking all my dad's clothes and so my thinking is i want to have a cool supply if i ever have kids of like yeah dad has cool clothes like dad was cool all my favorite all my favorite clothes were my mom's like all my favorite clothes that i have now are my mom's really yeah like the clothes you wear now or that shirt was your mom's right no no like dresses and uh okay just like blouses i was gonna that makes way more sense i was like

that's wild if your mom was no no no not like not like should i wear to work yeah just like nicer things i have this belt that i wear every day and my dad saw me wearing it and was like where did you get that and i was like i don't know i think i took it from your closet a couple years ago he was like that was my friend barrett's belt in college like my dad probably stole from him or like it ended up in his bag at some point he was like i haven't seen that in it was like a belt his friend wore when they were at rollins in the 80s and he was like you he was like how do you bear its belt i don't know but that's a testament to that belt yeah from the 80s still rocking yeah that is crazy i all right i have you mentioned chester and i wanted to bring up uh

my recent beef with chester sure get him sick is that hot we okay we are we're both going to stage coach this weekend he wasn't sure with ty with his roommate ty killer guy uh i booked an airbnb with eight sleeping spots uh for the whole week for friday and saturday nights you're speaking like you're in court you're like yeah i got an airbnb with eight yes we're about to give a ruling on chester and i each got a plus one so that's like four of the spots and then i found ty and three of his buddies for the other four spots so this place filled out then chester's like i don't know if i can go up on friday and so i was like okay that's fine so i figured out a ride i'm gonna probably i was gonna ride with ty now i'm gonna ride with gavin anyway so i get

my own ride i was like just uh let me know about friday night because you know my thing is like well if he bails on friday night then i don't want us all just to have to pay more for that night no he's on the hook for bull or he's on the hook for it or or i could find someone else to stay there whatever chester texts me uh or he checked this is i'm gonna read you the text because this there should be no room for confusion here okay he checked text me and i quote last week on monday i officially can't go to stage coach on the friday so then i'm like okay those spots are open i was like i don't want to have like i could be like you have to pay but i was like whatever i'll just see if i can find other people gavin happened

to ask me the next day he's like hey i want to go just friday night do you have a place i was like oh with one other buddy i was like perfect yeah you guys can stay there friday night and then chester will stay there saturday night everyone wins then i tell that to chester and he goes whoa whoa whoa i haven't totally decided on friday yet and i'm like did i misread the text and i look back it says i officially can't go to stagecoach on friday as uh straight up as you can be about the finality of your attendance and then i'm like well i kind of need to know because i got to other people for the spots and he was like well why do you have to fill those spots couldn't the six of you just split the cost yeah and i'm like asshole willie just what front the fucking action i felt

like i was losing my mind no that's very bad i i say this with love i say this with love lots of love for chester if there's one thing about chester collins he likes to have a he likes to have both feet and each hand in in four different boats and then at the last moment decide yes this is the last moment or dare i say at his convenience and the other thing in the conversation he goes he's like whoa so you gave away my tickets i was like what no i didn't give away your tickets i don't even have access to your tickets you have your tickets just immediately starts catastrophizing yeah i was like so how are you gonna get there and you gave away my tickets like i got a ride i don't didn't touch your tickets anyway and i still and so he says all right i'll let i was

like well i kind of need to know because i'm gonna have to i should have just been like all right well then you have to talk to gavin if you want to figure yeah yes but i would i just said like all right well can you just let me know as soon as you can because i'm also not convinced it's going to be like a big issue like i think we could squeeze two more people in and i don't think gavin's worried about i mean like i'm sure somebody could sleep on a couch yeah like it's not it's gonna be fine but it was just the and he still hasn't told he still hasn't let me know and that's in three and it's in three days i'm curious what so i still don't know what's gonna happen i feel that's not your problem anymore it is great yeah like just be like talk to him where he's like i

wasn't serious and then they read back the transcript but it's like i'm dead serious when he approached me i will i did have the i was like oh did i fuck this up like did he just say like i might not be able yeah and then i looked i was like no he said officially officially that's very fair beef we'll see so far neither of you've been in the wrong today yeah yeah wait till you hear my pitch i'm watching oh it's bad lauren should we hear another thing we're gonna have to cut the mic let's let me all right second pitch all right thank you parker next pitch is from kristin lowry kristin says what's up michelle barack and joe joe ah michelle barack joe i want all mulia he's pitching me

okay okay wait sorry speaking of barack obama speaking of the obamas i heard a story the other day uh she came she was very good friends with one of my sister's friends at bates who sasha obama and went there it was at a party and one of their friends completely normally was like filming the party like it's his house or whatever i think he was like more packed than he than he thought she knocked his phone out of his hand and was like don't film me asshole and he didn't know who it was oh not so he got into an argument with sasha obama about about like i swear to god that's pretty it's jumping the gun there yeah you're asking for trouble yeah i actually a famous kid feels horrible yeah i talked to her for like 20 minutes at a party once i also had no idea who

she was i was just talking to her and then when i went over my friends like you have any fucking idea who you're talking to i was like no and she seemed lovely she didn't seem like the kind of person to swat a phone out of my hand you're like you're like who was it sasha obama they're like yeah yeah we're talking about sasha obama yeah it's like no i told you my idea for the middle east okay kristin says um her pitch is sleep receipt tired of waking up with the feeling that you were forgetting something important frustrated with the fact that as soon as you hit the pillow your mind starts rattling off a to-do list angry about all those forgotten dreams well worry no more introducing the sleep receipt a simple app that connects to the synapses in your

brain uh that mechanic that mechanism is still in development allowing you to externally keep track of all your thoughts wake up in the morning with a physical receipt detailing each and every thought you had while you slept use it to cross reference to-do lists relive your favorite dreams and so much more sleeper seat may not be used in court as viable evidence p.s rusty p.s rusty is definitely michelle oh uh i love it it would be funny like you're like worried about your partner or something so you like she like checks your sleep receipts in the morning it's just like ass huge acids giant boobs ass cheating on my girlfriend i would i she would wake up every morning to smell smoke because i'm burning the receipts in the kitchen it's like putting a

match on your head or you come up you come up with like the perfect idea but it's sandwiched between like huge stripper butts or whatever so you can't yeah she's like oh yeah let me see and You're like, no, no, no, no. You came up with a cure to cancer, but it's between huge stripper butts and glitter all over my face from huge stripper tots. A horse with two dongs. I think the math checks out, but it's not worth diving into. I think this thing would be weaponized faster than you could say bread. Cowabunga.

Faster than you could say cowabunga. Cowabunga. That takes a while, though. I feel like I love this idea because there's always moments where you're like, that was a crazy dream. i want to remember that yeah i want the benefits of this but i fear the costs of opening up a world where you can see the thoughts within someone's mind it's also like uh like technically a rapper's lyrics can't be used against him in court but they they use it a lot for like context i mean the jury hears it yeah they couldn't they couldn't like book you for being like and then i shot him

in the face but they would like look up your sleep receipts and they'd be like not admissible in but billy was thinking this but just take a look at this stripper butts you make a decision um i love that it's a cool idea i it scares me well that's a resounding yes nice okay that was me obama yeah no i know i'm sorry i got really nervous gotta go pee yeah it just starts peeing right there and then yeah we just all right all right who wants who wants the greatest pitch that the dairy industry has ever seen right after the lauren once pitched the biggest yogurt ever sold oh my god that would be unreal the biggest yogurt ever sold how big would it be no i don't know i was asking i was trying to figure it out we like we're just sitting

here she's like what do you think the biggest yogurt that's ever been sold was i think we landed on like a gallon or five gallon well you think it has to be bigger no i bet like bigger that costco i would assume has but that's a bunch of individual ones we're talking what's the biggest tub ever well you got to think about what what you can fit in a fridge you know right there can like but like maybe like an industrial size probably shit like if you're in the restaurant well i mean okay i think the best way to think about it is like a bucket what's the biggest parfait right like there's probably been a parfait for like a giant yeah or no what's the biggest guy who would want a parfait

and then work backwards. Yes. I think parfait has no limitations on like the size of the consumer. I think everybody of all sizes

could appreciate a parfait. I love a parfait. I, when was the last time I had one? Would you go Greek yogurt or regular yogurt? Greek.

Greek. I eat them every morning. Do you really? Greek yogurt? Almost every morning, yeah. What do you put in it? Granola and fruit

and honey. Okay, so. I feel like there's that hits all the stops. Is it sweet enough with the honey in it? Yeah. Sometimes Greek yogurt

can be like really big. Yeah, because it's plain so it's very... But that's how you know it's healthy. It's like sour cream and I love sour cream so I love it.

I like sour cream. It is like a slightly sweeter sour cream. Alright, so you eat yogurt every day. Do you ever eat it out of the plastic thing? The container? Yeah. No.

Lauren, do you ever eat like a little like individual sized yogurt? Mm-hmm. What's the worst part about eating one of those with a metal spoon? Clinking on your teeth.

Not getting all the little things. the the yogurt is never too heavy it's too heavy and the spoon tips over the yogurt so you have to like yes yes uh super like super heavy yogurt container like it's like lead on the bottom so that you can this is actually great yes yeah put it down or i think maybe it's like an apparatus that you like put the thing in but like it is it is 2025 you're telling me you're telling me i have to hold the yogurt until i'm done eating it sometimes i want to put it down and then it like flies across the room caves in on the on the table yeah yeah could work for applesauce too yes yes yes anything that comes in a tiny little like one serving cup yes that's so annoying what

other things are they what a little overnight oats cups oh yes yeah maybe it's just like a paperweight for yogurt so it like goes around it like wraps around thing like a adhesive thing like it hooks to the edge and you could like little string adhesive sticks to the table so you can anchor it on one side yes and then the spoon like batten it down yeah it sounds like crank it to tighten it yeah you gotta drill it in yeah yeah it comes with a tiny little drilling kit too suction could be fun too yeah like they make water bottles like that right they're like suction when you set it down yeah oh like suction on the bottom yeah now we're getting somewhere boys have you seen those like bowls that they pit it was like the unspillable bowl so that babies

can like eat their fucking nails that whatever it's like on like a gyroscope so like no matter how fast their hand is moving the bowl will like stay upright and they were pitching it somewhere and they were like it's unspillable oh no maybe i'm thinking of the suction cup drink that they were like it's impossible to tip over and the like morning host person was just like i'm like a kelly in the morning or something she's gonna like she's a menace like she's she's living in her ivory tower like so comfortable with all the money and someone comes on who's starting this business and it's just catching steam yeah he's like i'm gonna kick this thing over and ruin their whole career and all their work shark tank will never have them on no one

will ever buy it more like shark tank oh i said it wrong my apologies you can keep that all right do either you guys have any other pitches yeah i've got the any other i haven't even done my first one sorry lauren was lauren lauren looked at me and went it went bitches okay we'll put we'll put the club i thought she called us i thought she called me a bitch the urgency with which lauren is recording this podcast is like the world is gonna end here no it's not i just we need god god forbid god forbid three white guys uh yap a little bit catch a vibe catch a vibe i know but i also that is why i tell you guys in advance when i would like it to not lauren came into my office this morning and goes i don't think i'm gonna be very talkative on the podcast today

and that's okay well that's only just because i took an adderall because i have a lot did she Did I tell you that she forfeited our whole softball season last night? Wait, really? No, I'm kidding. Dude, we were already down. I'm kidding. We had to forfeit last night, but we're still in the playoffs. We have lost every game.

I don't know if you guys know what forfeit means, because if you're in the playoffs currently- We lost a zero. We won zero. Oh, you forfeited one game. I thought you meant you forfeited the season. No. Well, I thought we were forfeiting the season, because I thought we would have to win to be in the playoffs, but then we found out after forfeiting that we still made the playoffs.

Why did you forfeit? Wait, why was Lauren the Reader and you forfeited? because she couldn't come oh i just couldn't come i mean there was that there were other people one girl we had one girl we just didn't have we only had seven people six seven people anyway it doesn't matter it wasn't her fault i was giving her a hard time okay uh picture is just part of the problem but um the shop bought 4 000 okay you ever you ever want to buy something from like a brick and mortar store but like you don't want to like like drive drive there there's a ghost um no that's he's real oh that's dang yeah okay um

there sorry there's a you want to buy something for a brick and mortar store but you don't want to drive all the way there and then find out they don't have what you need and like a lot of sometimes smaller like you know if it's not like a walmart it's not going to tell you if they have it in the store or not yeah yeah so the shop up 4000 is a service provided by small businesses that has a it's like a little one of those robot guys that like you can take to school and stuff you know those guys like on wheels with an ipad and you can tap in and you can go check and see if they have what you want and then go there and get it i've i love it i have one question for you what the hell was that i don't know he loves like coming in no it's he always does that anyway

continue uh there's only there's only one guy who's ever walked in the middle of our podcast it's him five times and it's like do random things i'm like why do you need to look at the size of your hockey skate right now yeah what the fuck anyway it's very pressing willie how do you prevent you know sick the sick and twisted of grabbing a hold of it and like going like humping and assaulting i was thinking about sex too can it give you head wait what i'm saying like i would take control of it and go like terrorize the other shoppers then you would lose your privileges and you get arrested you have to put in your social but why'd you make them why'd you make the mouth like silicone and soft on the inside i didn't make the mouth there's

No mouth. You said you did. The mouth is a tennis ball can with two sponges on the side. It's an iPad. The mouth's an iPad. You made it penis. There's no fucking suck. You can't fuck or suck.

I'm just worried. I want him to get my groceries, but I don't want to be looking out of the camera and then some guy sticks his dick in the mouth. Right. There's no dicks or mouth. Okay, so it's not part of it. That's not part of it. Then I love it.

And why did you say it was? It's an iPad on wheels. Okay. I, for instance, drove to – me and Scott were trying to get outfitted in some Western gear yesterday. So we went to this place in Van Nuys. Can I ask why? For stagecoach. Oh, oh, oh.

He told me – the guy working there was like, guys, can I have a big weekend? It was like this old guy. I was like, yeah, what gave it away? And he's like, this is like Christmas for us. Oh, stagecoaches? They make all their money in one – he's dropping at the mouth. he's like we rob you morons blind every year he jacks the prices up because you know he knows you'll pay but it was like it was like we ended up getting good stuff it was like i couldn't really

tell from online whether it was gonna have what we needed and it ended up taking an hour to get there with traffic so it's just like i wish i could have like scouted out like gotten a feel of the place before you know those those stores to like know that we don't know anything about it like when willie and i went to alan's boots we got three things and it was 2400 what oh mind you I got one hat that was $200 Everything else was this guy He got alligator boots I got alligator skin boots

Not our money for the record It was Kenward's money It was on the company which is maybe worse Cause I don't give a fuck But um Someone like invested in this company In a pair of boots Some investor's money went into a pair of boots

It was for a video They needed to be real Or whatever but like it is funny like they they probably robbed us blind and we that we just because we just don't know the prices i think they said the prices no because i remember getting up to the camera it was like i'll get it you know it's for it's for a video or whatever and then the total came out and he was like oh but he'd already like said he'd get it pre-mots dude that shit wouldn't never let that happen before my life before moths at this company was

unsustainable yeah yes maybe awesome yes also awesome was i expensing trinkets of course you were was i expensing my rent for six months without anyone noticing i'd actually like to offline about that because what could you imagine i remember talking to strider one time and he was like he was like yeah you could uh he's like in this line of work you could you could expense your rent because if you film at your house and i was like i feel like that is a one-way ticket right you'll get audited if you do that yeah expensing your rent but he was like i it just sounded like a one-way ticket to the irs never trust also like the way you said that made strider sound like a country guy you could explain you know in theory you could you know

we're interested at all and you filmed at your house all right let's do teach me some things no no billy's got a pitch or billy do you have a pitch um i could pitch something i didn't no no i got about that i'm gonna teach you something but i'm in the past let's do or teach me something who wants to learn misinformation today oh sorry no you guys that's great jack does it all the time okay yeah that's the i do not i've never lied on this podcast never i've never i've never spread it's like the it's kind of like how you can't get sued for spreading misinformation if you didn't know it wasn't true like i've never knowingly spread i agree with that alive i've just been proven wrong by google time and time again all right inadvertently spread disinformation

a handful of times yeah but there's no malice okay there are people in the comments that will time stamp the first time i'm wrong and and compare them with the other ones you guys are little warriors out there good for you i think last there was one episode recently where it was like rusty was wrong rusty was wrong on the like three minute mark came out came out of the gate record time rusty featherstone wrong at two minutes into an hour and a half long podcast all right who wants to learn about louisiana i would like to billy does willie does lauren does uh when france owned louisiana they were trying to populate it and as an incentive to uh maybe not an incentive but as a way to get people over there they would give prisoners their freedom in

exchange for marrying a prostitute and moving to louisiana wow prisoners from where could you their prisoners you imagine uh uh okay you're in jail for the rest of your life here's an offer you get to marry a prostitute and eat gumbo like there's no tomorrow i didn't name it guy heaven uh yeah a town full of prostitutes and criminals i'll take a po boy and your finest whore thank you very much oh that's awesome no i loved it i loved it i also think it was funny though because you are probably right that like the prostate like in my head it was like well the prostitute still has to agree but i guess back in the day i'm sure the prostitute is down too right well she's making a fuck she's making money hand over ass gumbo you get to see derrick car

i don't know probably you're making money hand over dick as a prostitute in france and you're telling me i gotta move to the bayou yeah i guess honestly living in the bayou in before air conditioning it's a nightmare they probably they probably told me it was paradise though yeah i don't even understand how people populated the american southeast before air conditioning oh like how they lived there and didn't die yeah like i know why they did i just mean like i would be like i'd rather be like literally homeless somewhere where the weather i remember watching like a streetcar named desire for a film class once yeah and it takes place in new orleans and i don't i don't know when like whatever time frame i don't want to get this wrong because

we're not i'm gonna try not to spread information at this point huh paul mescal but everybody just looked hot and sweaty and uncomfortable and i was that the one where what's the marlon brando being hot and abusing his oh no what's the one where where uh paul mccartney no um let it be no yes yes yes that one matthew mcconaughey is a like a sweaty lawyer the whole time and someone gets raped and he's got to get to the bottom of it sweaty lincoln lawyers club look up look up matthew mcconaughey sweaty lawyer yeah it is a lincoln lawyer yeah the link oh that was a shot the dark i was thinking that's what i said yeah there was a here rape in the town we gotta figure out who it was oh you sound like i thought that was about lincoln doesn't look like a board game

with that accent there's another very in a 21 plus board it was a here rape in this here town here okay let's all right i've got uh teach me something let's hear it paul revere you know why are you looking at me like that yeah what are you doing i was just looking at her she's my friend okay did it feel like a friendly look no i didn't see it where did you okay i think yesterday or at least this weekend was the 258th anniversary of paul revere's ride uh-huh yes you know tomorrow's our sub cent or next year's our sub quintessential or something 250 he's still riding 250 years of america that's true he's still looking i know and uh anyway i was reading about paul revere because i was just you said paul revere

revere no that'd be sick that sounds chill sounds like chill as hell yeah actually when i wrote in my notes app it auto-corrected to paul reverse it's like the british are chilling his his horse is flying backwards and he's like they're coming they're the yeah he's like you're it's fine that's paul reverse he's like doing the opposite yeah yes no no no one's coming paul reverse paul versus is two if by land one if by someone else yeah just kicks off going back someone else go someone go someone go i don't know how to anyway he was like not the only guy there was like a whole crew of those guys he didn't even go the farthest he just he was like the only one who got caught actually that'd be so frustrating to be part of that crew and get no credit yeah and

then they like longfellow wrote a poem about him and now he's like the goat and i just think he got i think all those other guys got shafted big time i still don't know their names but i was reading about it oh don't look don't look don't look them up i mean yeah maybe they maybe they asked to be left out yeah well i don't even think he knows that he ended up being the famous one because that poem came out like 40 years after he died someone should probably tell him yeah well he's in heaven what thought he's still riding no that's paul reverse oh yeah okay he's having a he's had a couple hundred year long loss coming are british duh i actually thought you were having a heart attack um i thought it'd teach me something you got it i got one um it's not like

based in reality it's like from a fictional story but the pirates of the caribbean story it's a cut it's a deleted scene that everyone might not know about that describes captain jack's past and his motivation oh i said i heard this is fantastic uh they cut it out but it's so great i'm surprised they did he was uh working for the british like bringing cargo on a ship which became the black pearl he's bringing the black pearl with cargo on it to the british and when he got the ship it was full of slaves and he's like people are not cargo slaves are not cargo i'm not doing that and he like went rogue with the ship and tried to free the slaves and uh the british sank it the black pearl with him and all the slaves on it and then davy jones he made a deal with davy jones to

be like i'll bring the black pearl and you back to the surface because you're right people are not cargo yeah wow and that was his inspiration which makes like davy jones seem like kind of a good guy and are we recording it's been paused on the same number for a while well it's showing that there but it's recording on here and i just texted a page about it because i don't know what's happening okay so we're going on there we're good this is like projections going it's like loading i'm just nervous because we've had uh nerdness nerdness little nerdness all right that's okay we all get a little should we do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey all right i saw this video that we're about to watch uh a couple weeks ago let me guess online online and it was

making me laugh because if you don't know the song that they're playing it it sounds like they're like bit like the top the top comment is like you almost played music so like it sounds like they're playing like they're okay they are playing this song that i actually like now that i looked it up but the song itself is kind of deconstructed and so if you're an amateur trying to recreate it okay it is it's kind of a hat on a hat where where it's you're double dipping where it's it's you're double i think i need to hear this i have no idea even if you're even if you're playing it perfectly it's like an experimental sound is it their song no it's not their song but these Is this the best order to hear it in?

Their version and then the original? Yes. Should we hear the original? Okay, yeah. So these girls are playing it, and it just made me laugh because it is not a great song to do a cover of to play. Let's just give it a shot, Laura. Because there's not a lot for them to play.

Like the girl in the back Has not played a note yet No She's playing the bass Is she? Looks like Yeah but she hasn't Strummed yet

This sounds like I'm at my like My uh Seven year old School band performance Yeah this is cool Yeah I i'm kind of confused i just thought it's cool i know i just thought the nails clacking on the

guitar and then like this that like was not that great but that is 97 000 likes it's just they're like they're hot girls playing a guitar and bass and they play you're being sexist you gotta give him some credit as someone who can play very basic guitar like that was very impressive is is they did they how accurate was this of a representation not very not not not very i think this is like i might be i might be looking into this too much but like a lot of people agree agreed with me that i just thought it was i thought it was funny that like it was like let's i'm gonna throw on a bikini and played like two notes of the bass like i thought that was funny i don't know you're skating on thin ice right now do you think

that was like like worth a hundred thousand likes throw on a bikini yeah who's wearing a bikini the girl in the back she's in like a tank top like bralette are they i don't know why that matters what she's wearing it doesn't i just thought i thought it was i thought it was a funny song to like put out when you like are like learning the guitar i don't know i understand all right i'll fall i'll fall in the sword it's not it's not funny that they did that i'm sorry i understand band where you're coming from with like the simplicity of the song that they're playing yes i get i i do kind of get is it like i just don't think it gives them a chance to fully showcase their the yeah i'm just like are they like a band it looks like no they're like they're

like makeup the drums sound very stock oh they're a beauty it's a beauty page oh it's a beauty page oh yeah the drums sound very stock in the background like you just hit like the first drum loop you saw a guitar that is that funny enough that is the only part from the real oh that's their actual i just thought it was a hard it was a hard song to pick to put yourself out there and i just thought it was funny that it blew up because i was i was trying to get to the bottom of like why did why did this blow up i'm sure yeah i'm sure they could whatever i'm sure they could play the guitar and bass good enough and do a better song that like more people would hear like and think oh that's uh okay i'll i'll admit it i apparently am crazy i thought this

i thought this was hilarious i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry you guys didn't see the humor i don't have any like like hot take on it i just didn't i found it relatively unremarkable the the video just in general yeah yeah yeah it was just like that's what i thought it was just kind of like a normal i know but i when you when you stumble upon a video of people playing instruments and it has a hundred thousand like truck i'm about to get my mind blown yeah yeah and then it was just like a normal song i that's true the setup of like the interaction comedy is dead i guess I thought that was fucking hilarious. How about this?

You're going to like this one. This is a wedding. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride. For anyone listening at home, this man accidentally flipped the camera around to his own face during the exact moment he kissed the bride. I don't know. I think this has to be a bit I feel like that guy

really no look his face is so funny the way the camera turns around does make it look like it's on a tripod and it's gotta like flip the front face

but that also implies he was using his iPhone on Snapchat on Snapchat because he accidentally flipped the camera by touching it in the middle of the cake

that's true it feels like that's a big bit because that's like the moment and you wouldn't there's no need to touch the camera while that's happening maybe he was like

I need to get it in perfect perfect maybe he was going to zoom he we all look at when you're not expecting to be on camera everyone looks insane but that was like a jarring let him kiss show it oh honestly that reaction is pretty that does look like a pretty genuine reaction but it couldn't have been a or wait it has to be a bit because it's from a different angle than the other camera Look it.

Now he's on the right side. It flips when you do the selfie camera. True, true, true. Damn, all this is adding up. Oh, that's funny. All right, should we do... A lot less debatable than yours, Rusty. Should we do...

Wait, I already said that, didn't I? All right, should we do pool dives that don't exist or first date ideas that don't exist, Billy? oh should we start like which one should we start yeah let's start with let's start with pool dives all right willie tis up these are pool dives that don't exist all right i got the silver surfer uh one diver falls forward so that he is parallel with the water and then the other guy jumps on and rides him like a surfboard and then he belly flops while the other guy's standing on him uh 60 of the time that it's been done in competition uh the person that has been the

surfboard has unfortunately passed away worth it very tragic 40 of the time was fucking awesome his nails dude billy um i got one the uh the snap crackle pop eyeball a piece of rope tie it to your neck and the diving board then dive off and pray it's long enough to let you reach the water named of course after the sound your spine will make if you get it wrong oh that's really good thank you i've got the phone wallet keys right after diving the diver realizes that he has his phone wallet and keys and he tosses them out one by one he goes phone wallet keys and then lands it's fucking i thought it was gonna be like he dived and was like like make you know like the like pat down oh yeah he does that but it's successful yeah extra points if your phone can like plug into

an aux and play music and your keys can land it lands right it's like girl the way you're moving uh the car keys start the car yeah just floor it into the side of the building uh all right i got the hammer throw uh we're all familiar with the olympic event the hammer throw where it's the thing on the end of a string and you spin around yeah and then you throw it again it's a tandem dive one diver grabs the other by his ankles spins around in a circle and tries to throw him over the pool i like that a lot that is great it's a test of strength i should have more duos things i didn't realize i i didn't even think about diving duos i got it was a very selfish list of i put together i just don't think anyone else could pull these off

no um the toothpaste slam edge yourself on poop you should be ready to pop by the time you step on the diving board jump off and lead with your stomach that should be the first thing to hit the water the real points come from how fast and far the shit shoots out of your asshole and onto the crowd if you're lucky named of course after the way toothpaste would shoot out of a tube if you slammed your fist down on oh no that's like uh i thought it was gonna be like like you jump ass first and then at the last second you poop so hard that you get like a you get like shot i did consider that at one point i'm not gonna lie dude when i was uh coming down that mountain i thought i was gonna shit myself so bad like the whole time and i like couldn't you know wasn't on

my phone at all and at the end i took the most satisfying poop of all time while looking at my phone for the first time in 10 hours and it was the most dopamine i have ever felt in my entire life it's like you see the creation of the universe in your head essentially you're i'm surprised you didn't come beautiful i did a little i think but it smelled like piss so i couldn't really tell smelled and looked like piss and felt like piss i think it was calm is it you me is it you really or is it me it's me i've got the uh light reading is where you dive off with a little paperback book in your trousers uh midair crisscross applesauce read a page close it land stop midair to read uh yeah that's incredible yeah i would love to see this one and you got to

with your face go like huh oh it's no that no matter what happens on the page it does kind of it kind of surprises you a little bit interesting yeah well when you're frozen in midair i'm sure anything you read is a little more exciting fascinating yeah all right i got the ray le montaigne you the how do i know it's a singer ray le montaigne sings hold hold you in my arms okay so you the song starts playing two divers spoon on the edge of the thing yep uh and then they roll off the platform uh and hold each other tight and let mother nature do her worst i love that again pretty high mortality rate but uh yeah if you land it it is lots of points it's kind of like a winner alleviating to have the pressure of the dive off your plate and just be

like i'm gonna lay here and i'll let the i'll let gravity do the cosplay cosplay who who sings that again you're saying cosplay i don't want to cosplay cosplay from la bro i don't talk about that guy um okay the snap crackle stop all the original steps from the snap crackle pop except this time instead of jumping you stay up there and bargain for the gold use everyone's fear of having a hand in your death as leverage and take the gold by force without ever touching the water i love it that is great thank you uh that'd be my that'd be mine of choice i don't want to dive yeah i don't want to dive dive did i don't want to dive today it's like a hostage situation yeah negotiation be willing convince them you're willing to jump off yep yep but have no intent to

actually jump off they'll be too scared to actually call your bluff yes i like that um this is the dry flyer uh you get some webbed skin and you attach it in between your arms just enough to be able to cruise a few feet uh you jump off as if you're going to dive into the pool reveal your webbed skin fly a few feet forward and land safely and dry on the edge of the pool perfectly named yeah i must say perfectly yeah and so you're and it's just you're just like oh i'm here i'm chilling i love it i'm chilling now and maybe you put sharks in the water so it's higher stakes or crocs my favorite part of the dive is the first step super simple just go get yourself some web skin right yeah pick some up the guy there's a guy with webbed fingers in a movie i watched yesterday

harry potter watching goblet of fire in your mouth something in your mouth it's the nemo it's the like algae that he eats yeah yes no it was um memories of murder nice never heard of it all right should we do first date ideas willie yes all right everyone do your first eight ideas oh first sorry first these are the best possible first dates you can go on you find out where their ex waits tables and then you surprise her by going there and requesting them as their server happened to me really happened to me in college my girlfriend had uh gone her separate ways and was dating a new guy who it was a complicated situation but i wasn't on great terms with either of them and uh they went came on a date to the restaurant i worked i was the first date

intentionally well it was like the it was like the kind of go-to restaurant for like bc kids like but they knew you worked oh yeah but like i wouldn't blame them like the odds of like i don't know a lot of people would eat there and anyway but i was their waiter and it was just uh it was it was i felt so awkward and uh the funniest part is she tipped like like 50 which felt like worse i was like i don't want your like charity i mean i wanted the money i was fine but why didn't you just like switch tables with somebody it was like in my section like i couldn't i don't know it would have been really out of the way for someone also it would have been like obvious that like i didn't want to like i don't want to be like every table i can be okay but uh it was really awkward

That sucks. And I do remember her giving me a huge tip, which is hysterical. He gave her a huge tip that night. Oh, my God. Must have had a monster talk. It was, like, still raw, too. I remember being, like, really... Trust me, brother.

Okay, all right. Fuck it. All right. Next pit. Next thing. You sure you want to move on? We can stay here for a little longer. Nope, I'm ready.

All right, you go to a high school track meet in full Kentucky Derby outfits and react to every event like you bet a lot of money on it. Well done, buddy. That's awesome. Pay a group of men to try and kill you. any action movie with love interest has two guarantees one they will be hunted and two while being hunted they will fall in love it's called trauma bonding why would your experience be any different i love it you show up do you show up to the restaurant that you agreed on for

your first date with an exact doppelganger of them and then when they show up they feel like they're having an out-of-body experience watching you have the date that they were supposed to be on i like that and make sure you're killing it with the doppelganger god i have to pretend he seemed amazing i seem to have loved them uh i guess i'll go now yeah let's do that order all right uh oh this is good yeah you ever like it could be like a little nervous like on the first date it's like am i really gonna spend that much time just one-on-one with this person what if they're weird but you kind of want to get to figure out their vibe and get to know them perfect middle ground you go to each other's houses you don't see each other but you go to

each other's houses and you zoom and so you get to see their house how they live what their vibe is while talking to them but you're not one-on-one alone with them i love it if you get too nervous so you can just end the zoom if you don't have anything to say anymore right instead of stuck there at a table waiting no but to be clear you're at their house oh shit yes well you could by the time they get there you'll have thought of new topics of conversation yes or i've left and then if you don't like it you can leave yeah i'm sorry if you don't have anything to say they're at your house too hopefully they don't take your stuff yeah that's true could be a little a little theft going on a little bit um here's one visit a plastic surgeon have him give you both a consultation in

front of each other and once you feel ugly on the outside you could spend the rest of the day far away from that doctor focusing on and learning about anything but your physical traits i love it i like that all right you take him to the highest peak of the tallest mountain and then once you're up there you run away only you know the way down you run away screaming uh watch out for skin walkers it's apparently what i wrote that could be fun it's allegedly i might have wrote that at some point maybe another person on my phone read it who's to say uh theater hop you go to a movie theater and with no intention of actually watching any of the film but you get popcorn and soda and then you place bets on a specific word being said uh and then you go into a theater and you

stay until one of the person's words gets said oh that's a point and then you go to the next one that sounds like an actually just a fun date yeah i love it but then what if you get really invested in the movie and you don't want to leave and you can stay oh the game's not rigid like that uh well the referee will be mad but i mean okay his job is refereeing that i think he'll be fine yeah i'll be all right he gets paid enough he's gonna be just five um he's a multi-billionaire i think he'll be okay let's see yeah go to your local police station ask them what some of the lowest posted bails are learn about each of their crimes and then pick one to set free it'll be an open discussion about what's right and wrong and you can learn a lot about each other from that

that's awesome you both freeze you free one from the men's prison and one from the women's and then you double double date oh and then you double date a little little remix freestyle i love it so many options because i looked it up too like there are posted bails for like 35 dollars really yeah like you it's pretty low so you can go split lat what would you have to do for your bail to be 35 smoke in a restaurant i don't know swallow a sword swallow a sword illegal swords unauthorized or uh swordfish so yes oh years the whole thing one bite i'd kill you all right who's ready for rusty's song of the day hit me a lot of a lot of playmates tuning in a lot of people waiting with bated breath for this next song uh i originally when i was listening to this thought

it was a londell ray song but it's just a girl who sounds a lot like her and i like her vibe it's called every girl gets her wish it's fantastic i recommend you you listen to it um you just told her you told us what she sounds like yeah no name it is by saint saint and evangeline saint evangeline uh so canonized and everything i don't know i've been listening to it i've been listening to it non-stop apparently there's a new saint that is just a he died he's a millennial and he's a saint now also the pope benedict died on monday close francis pope francis yeah pope benedict died in he died a while ago you're right sorry i don't know do you know pope formosus died pope formosus was the he died and then the new pope

didn't like that everyone still liked formosus so they dug him up from his grave put him on trial convicted convicted of a crime and then i think wait set him on fire they like got rid of kidding they dug up his dead body they tried his dead body how petty do you have to be there was a court they propped his corpse up in court and made him made him go on trial that's disgusting to you billy huh we're gonna do that to you with this podcast after you die i hope so just put me in this chair and let me rot into it until there's nothing left uh all right billy do you want to plug anything before we wrap up i got nothing going on in my life i got nothing to plug that's that was like your character from the live oh it's true yeah uh do i have anything to plug

What should they comment? Honestly, let's keep it going. Spam score. No, let's hit a RIP Pope Francis. RIP Pope Benedict. RIP Pope Benedict. RIP Pope Benedict. Everybody comment RIP Pope Benedict.

Comment your favorite memory in the Catholic Church. I remember when Francis got picked. I was in Catholic school when it happened. Everyone remembers where they were when Francis got picked. They would put it on the TV just constantly with the smoke coming. So the teachers would be talking and we'd just be like... Staring at it. It was really that big of a deal.

yeah oh i was in a catholic school and this happens like once every maybe twice in a lifetime yeah you know two or three i don't know what a rare they should do a young guy yeah she's got a young like 20 year old i think it's like hard you can't get that far well there's only 111 i think eligible yeah out of the out of the 138 like pope francis had said these 111 are the ones i'm gonna watch conclave who's he to say have you seen oh i i watched it I didn't finish it. Yeah, I was waiting for that. I don't think I was really in the mood for something slow that I really had to pay attention

to, but the production was, the cinematography was amazing. Visually, it was very nice to watch. I'm curious what happened to the end, because everyone says that the end is fucking crazy. Don't spoil it. I didn't even get it to the end. I fell asleep, but it was cool. Well, God save the Pope. Everyone comment, RIP Pope Benedict.

RIP Pope Benedict. We will miss you, and we remember where we were. We will. guys have a great rest of your monday oh yeah or sorry guys have a great rest of your wednesday have a great rest of your week wednesday tear it up on the weekend and then we will see you bright and early on monday first thing we love you so much love you i love you i love you