Will & Rusty's Playdate - new producer just dropped

Episode Date: September 10, 2025

On a very special but also viral Playdate, Willy and Rusty reveal that a new producer just dropped, Willy goes nonverbal at a party, and Rusty saves a group of people from rabid hornets. The gang disc...uss more Harry Potter lore and hear about one playmate’s pitch about dogs but for when you’re high. Plus, the boys draft Nathan For You plots that don’t exist and boat names that don’t exist. We then open mail from the Playmates and as always, we wrap up with Rusty’s song of the day. JOIN US IN SUPPORT OF BEST BUDDIES: https://www.bestbuddieschampion.org/maine/supporting/#willandrustysplaydate&donate/5363257/0 FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP OUR MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/ RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: Download Cash App Today: [https://click.cash.app/ui6m/ba1zl21n] #CashAppPartner Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today https://www.twistedtea.com/locations Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @MUDWTR with code PLAYDATE at  mudwtr.com/PLAYDATE! #mudwtrpod SUBMIT YOUR BUSINESS PITCH HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdPHd7Ps9TaX-TOozyLhDpr9Y7pFNMP9PX7cHuLxap1R78GWg/viewform?usp=header SUBMIT YOUR AITA STORY HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdQElfqdQutn3dzl5HcZfey6YWhbVd-n6XE7FkpfosWZyYhyA/viewform?usp=sf_link 00:00 - Intro 8:41 - New Producer Reveal 15:01 - Rusty Goes Golfing 19:30 - Willy Gets A New Car 24:02 - The Summer I Turned Pretty 37:20 - Willy Got Too High 54:14 - Roadmap 1:03:19 - Pitches 1:23:16 - This Guy Rocks 1:30:24 - Teach Me Something 1:35:27 - Nathan For You Plots That Don’t Exist 1:40:00 - Boat Names That Don’t Exist 1:41:01 - Mailbag 1:46:29 - RSOTD #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:22 Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com. This family is on the brink of civil war. Mobland, the hit original series, is now streaming on Paramount+. We are the Hartigans. Don't know them yet? Then Google us.
Starting point is 00:00:41 From the underworld of Guy Ritchie... Do you want to step up the ladder? I want Cormac dead. Starring Tom Hardy, Pierce Brosnan and Helen Mirren. Do I have to do everything myself? You want to watch? I'll give you more! Mobland, new season is now streaming on Paramount+. Guys, as always, Playdate is brought to you by Cash App.
Starting point is 00:01:03 Cash App, write me a check. It's Cash App time. I'm sharing heroin with Sharon in Heroin College, and it's heroin. We're ready to rock. Are we going? Yeah, we are going. We're finally going. Come on, baby.
Starting point is 00:01:25 It's a Playdate episode 139. Danny Woodhead. I was going to say that as well. Is that what he was? Yeah. So for context to the listeners, Andrew just spent about 30 minutes dealing with tech issues. Finally, and mostly related to the TV and our ability to Google stuff.
Starting point is 00:01:45 And no internet. Just the moment. I think he is that, though. What the fuck is in my ear? Okay. Dude, I kind of want to show you this. is like a new oh whoa it's not like a turd i don't think i would go i don't think that that would be my first guess but it could be in my top five it wasn't earwax oh we got it already
Starting point is 00:02:09 yes is my earwax green now that would be kind of goaded i think it means you're eating you're eating all your veggies uh i have a question for you okay yeah i don't know if you saw this i pulled up instagram yesterday how long have you been jacked andrew posted a shirtless and i were both like all right i did all right i'm not saying i'm not saying i thought under your shirt was like what i have under my shirt but i didn't think it was like abs yeah yeah yeah uh no i just photoshopped the same guys that you guys how long you've been looking like that like yesterday i think it was the first day that i started it took me a while so i'm curious about other brothers who went through this yeah they don't
Starting point is 00:02:53 uh give those golds jim sweatshirts you just i was like you go to gold yeah i do the one right here yeah yeah same as uh jerry yeah yeah i see him there sometimes yeah and arnold and rfk yeah yeah yeah rfk goes there too yeah which is not anymore not since he's been like you know busy with the cdc stuff um but yeah half the time the videos i see out there i'm like i don't think that equipment's there when i'm there like i feel like they just roll it out they roll it out for the big guns yeah of him because he'll be like bench pressing outside i'm like there is no bench press outside like maybe his boys like get bring it that's kind of maybe he shows up to the gym just to kind of be one of you guys but he like brings his own equipment to the gym byoe well
Starting point is 00:03:33 good for you dude i hold the instagram up and i was like all right all right not that i didn't already respect you but i was like i was thirsting bro i was barking at the phone barking there was one time i like wore like a tight shirt i think out and like uh my friend was like oh i didn't know you like looked like that and my girlfriend goes it's because he wears tent size clothing yeah and i go yeah yeah i was like always wear like triple xls you gotta hide it you gotta give them like a it's like a treat right right yeah i'm trying to start wearing clothes that fit better because i had a similar situation flan and i were sitting there and she was like do you think she wasn't trying to be mean but she was like do you think that shirt fits i was like yeah it's my
Starting point is 00:04:13 like i always wear shirts like this she was like maybe maybe three sizes too big so i'm starting to try to buy larges i i like a big shirt i do too but edge like i was wearing a new shirt that one no no i got a different new shirt nice what is it it's like a button down whoa it's sort of like my venice beach bar one yeah like it's like a short sleeve button down very breathable i got a deuce x machina you know that place no i don't know deuce x machina you've probably driven past a hundred times it's on lincoln it has like a big sign where they put like a quote or something deuce x deus the day sorry i didn't mean to come for deuce x machina but you just x it's the craziest name of all time and you were like you know it yeah yeah that was
Starting point is 00:05:04 right there this that's not how you spell it at all it's oh oh oh it's like they sell more motorcycle oh oh oh i do know that i told you you knew the place yeah what wait why did i hear do they also have like coffee yeah okay that's how i know so i went there to get coffee and then i'm getting coffee and i'm like whoa these shirts are kind of cool yeah and i end up out walking out of this but it's not like a it's not like merch for a coffee shop like it's just like a shirt like it has like a little logo but it's not really like a merch i don't remember where i heard about that but i did i think billy has a jacket from them that's what it is like quinn would have shit from them yeah when we used to roll with his crew yeah but so i started wearing i was wearing
Starting point is 00:05:47 a sweatshirt that fit the other day and edge i walked into edge's office and he goes are you getting taller and i said no but how cool would that be if i was 24 and still growing yeah i think it's just when you wear when you wear clothes that fit your body i don't look five four it's like yes exactly yeah every time i meet a person in like when we do like the live show tour thing yeah people everyone would be like well i thought you're gonna be way shorter yeah would you rather be because yeah i don't know what that we've had that uh like bars too and people run into the two of us i think they both think we're like five five we're both like six feet tall yeah you're a little you're like six one maybe yeah um but we've had people i don't know if i would rather
Starting point is 00:06:29 have everyone think i'm short and then like the one guy i meet out think i'm tall or everyone think i'm tall and then they see you out because if they thought we were like six four and then they ran into us they'd be disappointed that thing is like it's more exciting the way we're doing it i also like that we give off short king vibes is that i don't yeah because it means if we if people thought we were really tall that would mean we're trying to be mr cool on the internet yeah you give offshore king vibes like you would dominate like a region of the ocean coastal yeah yesterday um you know what's big now is like those like crop top like cutoffs have you seen those like the i can do that type of shit yeah yeah yeah the mine kind of i was like was it this kind of
Starting point is 00:07:13 yeah like the young la crop tops have you seen these my uh my sunshine shirt my workman's shirt is cropped yeah that one's pretty cool yeah something like this yeah dude we told bill billy was like i want one of your playdate shirts that we just made and i was like oh yeah i'll get you one he was like i'm gonna crop it and then cut the sleeves off and i was like oh now i don't want to get you one because that's not what it's i want him to that means like i don't care about this shirt right he wants to keep the design but i want him to want to wear the shirt in public he wants it like he's like oh that'd be a good like beater shirt for the gym oh which shirt i wish this was pants i love that shirt it's the best show you know about do we ever
Starting point is 00:07:54 talk about uh jason schwartzman loves it yeah yeah you said that in the meeting but oh yeah i don't know if i said on the pod yeah no you didn't look up jason schwartzman will angus did that viral movie and he's in it too and the night before will left he was at my house we're playing board games and he oh no way yeah he was like do you have one of those shirts i feel like it'd be a a conversation starter so i gave him mine and then apparently like jason schwartz came up was like that's the funniest shirt i've ever seen let's go and so we sent him two of them you still claim that that was my idea i'm 90 sure you came up with really i'm i don't know what i believe anymore but i will happily let's let's just say it was a joint effort yeah we came up you came
Starting point is 00:08:37 up with the first half i came up with the back half i wish i know i wish this was something else oh wait can we tell them about the new shirt idea is that supposed to be a surprise the the band one the text oh oh we were talking about so like this merch company we keep we work with keep sending like it always feels like the text is like a little bit high and we always have to be like make it like a little like this logo would be like up here and like every first draft i have to be like can you just move the sweaters we got like i don't know i i think they look great actually but um anyway we were talking about this and uh then i had an idea for a shirt and it's it's it says right here i wish this text i wish this text was lower like it's like right on the
Starting point is 00:09:19 right on the collar it just says i wish that's hilarious i love that you guys should actually do that you can make another one where it's at the bottom it says i wish this text was higher but that one people probably wouldn't see as much yeah that's yeah or like on the back i wish this was on the front yeah something i wish the text was on the yeah yeah um all right should we break the news to andrew we got we have a big announcement which is as you know we've been uh in the process of interviewing people for for the new playdate full-time producer role and it we've talked to to the probably people listening that yep i've been among the people we've interviewed we talked to a bunch of people it's been a really great uh to get to meet some
Starting point is 00:10:02 of you guys to those you aren't getting the job we love you and we appreciate you coming out and giving it a shot but we found the person that we're gonna go with moving forward i don't know if you know this yet but okay uh jack our new producer is andrew nelson let's go baby no way are you serious let's go oh my god i thought i lost it after the debacle today i was trying to act sad to keep it uh keep the i like couldn't look at you i was like felt mean i was like damn you're gonna get this live reaction like right now yeah i was like okay you've been killing it and uh and we appreciate the hard work that you've been doing you've been you've been the best producer we've ever had wow second bet tied for best you're the best male producer we've ever
Starting point is 00:10:56 had you're the tallest producer we've ever had true and you know we just wanted to have you be on full time because we love you and uh we're really enjoying this experience together oh that's amazing thank you and for those of you guys who haven't seen too like what he's doing behind the scenes he's working so hard putting on more clips than ever grinding coming up with new ideas He sends us fun texts the night before He sends us texts the night before Reminder, play it tomorrow You've earned it
Starting point is 00:11:27 You made a Rusty songs of the day thing I did You did it the right way, Andrew You earned it the American way You weren't even an option And then you were so good that it was like Oh, this is the only option Thank you guys
Starting point is 00:11:41 That means a lot I know the whole plan was to hire a woman Now we can say that to kind of keep the dynamic so you have to wear a dress or it won't change much of my wardrobe yeah
Starting point is 00:11:59 but we're so excited and Andrew I'm excited to do 10,000 episodes of podcasting we're going to do this for the rest of our lives well he's going to quit in two years also yeah so we are having Kenwood write up a contract it explicitly says if you leave
Starting point is 00:12:15 after two years to uh move to a different beer company we will boy boy um is that why you asked for my birthday on friday no that's another one which i'm very excited about what oh should i not ruin that surprise no no this isn't a surprise at all so for the souls for sale t-shirt we did it was a band fake grunge band t called souls for sale and now willie and i are working on a uh kind of intergalactic reggae band called cosmic uprising you may have heard of them and the tour dates are going to all be different planets across the galaxy yep and but with the souls for sale one we hit all of our hometowns on our birthdays so like they'll be on mar or they'll be on like
Starting point is 00:13:00 some fake planet that i made up and then they like go to dallas on your birthday and then oh nice go to charleston on september 11th but mine i just they're doing my birthday show on the sun so you guys can change it if you want but that's what you want us to change it what is it like you don't want to do you want us to come in and be like no we got to do yours too no it starts so the way to like hit all of our birthdays in like a reasonable amount of stops it has to start on my birthday and end on andrew's yeah and so if it's i want it to be clear that all the tour stops are planets or suns or like different things in space. So if the first one is just like Cape Elizabeth, Maine,
Starting point is 00:13:42 then people aren't going to read the other ones. I like that line. That's selfless. Yeah, sort of. You know, I dove on the sword. I have a great story for you guys. Would you like to hear it? Is it going to scare me?
Starting point is 00:13:53 Like, honestly, maybe. Do you know what's funny? This looks like such a nightmare to clean up. I was going to say, I was like, I guess I have to clean this up. all right later my problem now we'll do it we'll we'll help well i think that can we get like josh or something we just i mean it's definitely not gonna be one of the three of us no we should clean it up every time almost almost friday does this like three times a year no one touches it
Starting point is 00:14:17 yeah but i mean we need like i think we need like a vacuum we do be really hard to sweep yeah it's back yeah all right you've got cash app right dude i've been cash app apping it up have you been cash apping that oh you just said you have been cash app apping it up i've been cash app apping it up uh i bought more hot dogs from one of those ladies on the street and i guess what i cashed after i i like something about the buttons on cash app it's different it's like satisfying to click I agree. And Cash App does more than you think
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Starting point is 00:15:38 Bank, member FDIC, direct deposit, and overdraft coverages provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. visit cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures guys go download cash app and like like we always say cash app bring me my money cash app me let's get back into the episode um so i'm so i i took a little summer thursday last thursday what's that mean i just stopped working early oh yeah you don't have to come in i didn't come into the office and i was like you know what i'm gonna i want to go golf so i went to the i went to my local par three and there was a special olympics event happening there which was super cool how'd you play i actually played
Starting point is 00:16:21 i actually played really well which was cool because i ran into a playmate oh nice so a playmate was helping with special olympics which was goaded to see and uh and he was like hey you know i'm gray nice to meet you and we chatted for a second and then you know i played through hit two awesome shots for the record so i would hope gray thinks i'm baller now yeah probably and then i see like two groups ahead of me there's a guy like frantically warning the group behind him about some like imminent danger on that hole that's weird and all i heard was like something something golf club something something hornets something something that tree right there i was like oh my god and so i relayed the information to gray and his group because he had like nine
Starting point is 00:17:09 people with special needs that i was like do not attend some what they'd attend some there were a lot of there were a lot of and so i was just like you know just as a heads up i don't want anyone to get stung don't go over there i'm thinking like lonzo ball comes out from behind the tree like oh those hornets the hornets are there the hornets are doing a meet and greet over there and uh it's like that's weird and then i go when i get to that hole there's like a t-shirt on the ground or a golf shirt on the ground it's swarmed by hornets so clearly like some guy like took his shirt off and like swatting that whatever i didn't really get the full story and then gray dms me a video and uh basically what happened
Starting point is 00:17:53 they sent an email out to everyone that was involved the special olympics thing and they were basically like one of our coaches uh went to swing the club flew out of his hand hit a hornet's nest out of a tree a thousand hornets came out and stung him all over his body he he posted the video on instagram and uh i don't know maybe we'll like blur his face but he posted this so i guess yeah i definitely want to see this um this is the fucking craziest thing in the world did you did you psych it to mr beer oh wait what who's mr beer he got psyched to mr beer did you set up a new thing so you don't have to slide everything to brian that makes sense yeah see this is the kind of stuff this is love and beyond okay wait before you ingenuity
Starting point is 00:18:43 also what if you were like oh yeah no i don't i don't want actually stayed here till midnight every night so before you play this the way just the way whoever wrote this email cracks me up they're like they were like really painting a word picture instead of just being like an accident happened whatever yeah they're telling it you didn't have to do this they're telling it in like narrative form so he goes apparently upon swinging at the golf ball the aid let go of the club as if it were a baseball bat as a result the club went flying through the tree and hit a wasp's nest and then it talks about how he got stung a hundred plus times and then
Starting point is 00:19:22 this is oh my god this is the video look at his oh this is oh it's like viral this is the guy you were there yeah he got stung like a hundred times on his back and like apparently on his feet too because they were like taking his shoes off really slowly i mean what a fucking nightmare they're picking them out of his hair i got his credit card yeah i like that they're they like had to get payment first whoa isn't that horrible that is like the worst oh my cousin michael uh oh was rolling around this is really this is the guy that was right in front of you that's what gray sent me i mean i believe you that's just like insane that it's like i know already like a viral moment dude you were at a viral moment i didn't witness it yeah but you were there i was
Starting point is 00:20:15 there but i tiptoed like up past the hornets and like still hit my because i paid for the round i wanted to get that and uh oh my god i uh i thought there was gonna be a video of him like hitting hey guys rusty and i are supporting an awesome organization uh in maine called best buddies that uh you know helps people with intellectual and developmental disabilities and partners them with people in their community that can be their friends show them how to learn important life skills and uh do a bunch of really cool stuff uh we would love if you could help us we are champion candidates this year which means we are competing head to head with like eight other people that are fundraising and we want to kick their butts we're a barium we want to raise so
Starting point is 00:21:00 much freaking money it hurts uh but it's a really special organization means a lot to us my uncle kevin has benefited a lot from their work as has rusty's friend peter uh so if you could make a donation we would absolutely appreciate it scan the scan this QR code right on my palm or click the link in the description and uh help us out if if if you don't want to help us out help out someone else click out there help us but yeah but click their link and uh anyone you can donate it's a fantastic cause and we would really appreciate it I will say this speaking of viral I have another big announcement i'm buying the viral car today let's go what do you get uh 2025 nissan rogue so we so we were gonna have to beat him off with a stick yeah i'm gonna beat you off of the stick
Starting point is 00:21:54 um we gonna so we were like we were gonna buy a 2011 you and scott for cash i mean me and my remit scott are buying a car together which is kind of cute yeah i didn't it really didn't occur me as being bizarre but every time i've said to someone like what i mean it's i i think without context of like how close you two are yeah that's it would seem like it's like a it would not be a good financial decision you're right if you were not positive that this is someone who's going to be like in your life that is true so we're going to buy this car for cash from our friend 2011 and then we got hit up about an opportunity like on like thursday or friday that like our friend's friend is moving to paris and has a lease and needs someone to take over the lease and is leaving
Starting point is 00:22:38 for paris tomorrow so it's like they need immediately to get someone to take over this lease and they're willing to pay they're gonna give us i think like two grand just like up front to like help cover the just like as like an incentive so it's but and the down payments aren't even paid not so it's we just have to take over the monthly payment and uh yeah let's start and we're getting scott's going to get it today so i'm gonna have a car wow which is like it's been a whirlwind dude andrew and i were talking about this on the way in this whole get ready for this get ready with me get ready with me for this because this is gonna suck the or maybe this is a unique experience my lease and my uh insurance no matter how many times i confirm that it's on
Starting point is 00:23:24 auto pay yeah they will just call me and be like yeah yeah your thing didn't work like it didn't did i tell you they called the woman called me like the day i got back from maine i did turn this with this was this was irresponsible but when i went on vacation i wanted to totally unplug so i turned off like email notifications i turned off like everything yeah yeah uh they one of the digits was wrong in my routing number for my your summer travels deserve an upgrade with select Chevrolet, Buick, GMC, and Cadillac vehicles connected by OnStar, you can stream, game, and more on the go. Whether you're headed to a music festival or a cottage getaway, you can access hundreds of apps on Google Play right from your center display.
Starting point is 00:24:07 Explore OnStar tech today at OnStar.ca and discover how to take your summer to the next level. OnStar. Better never stops. there's like coffee grounds in the bottom nice yeah okay um and they called me the day i got back and they were like hi is this john and i was like yeah and they're like hi we just canceled your car insurance and i was like what why and they were like uh we couldn't get the payment to go through and we couldn't get ahold of you it was like oh my god really why didn't you like this is the first call you've made and they were like i know we were sending emails that's kind of whack okay yeah and then i was like so what do i do now she was like you just
Starting point is 00:24:53 have to like reapply and i was like oh okay and was nice to her and then she called me back and was like hey actually i gave you bad information i could just set you up right now so i think like if i had done what i normally would do which would have been like berate her over the phone they wouldn't have that's the default when yeah when i do i'm getting really i because i've been dealing with my landlord a lot i'm getting really into screaming at people on the phone Something shifts when you turn 25, I think. Yeah, I know. Or 24.
Starting point is 00:25:18 24, yeah. Hold on. I just want to yell. Yeah, I want to yell. Oh, speaking of turning 25, when this episode comes out, my birthday is tomorrow. My silver jubilee. Yes. Wait, this episode comes out on 9-11?
Starting point is 00:25:32 9-10. 9-10. We'll never forget your birthday. I'm going to pour my drink. When you were talking about your friend dipping out to Paris, I had a friend recently. I don't know her. Oh. So, okay.
Starting point is 00:25:44 so just scrap your also i just want to say one more thing and then i'm done and then i want to hear this okay i found out this is why i said the viral car because i found out the person i'm getting it from has a million followers on instagram nice that's what scott told me so this car was like pretty like we're responsible of them to to to stick with like a like a low lease payment when they have a million followers yeah i mean it's like the i guess it's like the wait what it's like the car wait you think the car's like shit i'm a baller i'm saying when you get a million followers on tiktok probably soon it's gonna be it's gonna be ferraris it's gonna be rolls royces it's gonna be bentley's
Starting point is 00:26:25 2025 nissan rogue so what are you gonna name it crank crump okay anyway in paris i had a friend recently this reminded me of it that like just called off her wedding day of flew to paris no one's heard from her since whoa yeah isn't that insane top five moments that made me say oh fuck yeah top five wedding respect moments top five wedding bail moments with the day of her wedding day of her wedding she got in like a big fight with like her like gonna be husband i guess fiance at the time he dipped for a while they couldn't find him for like a second how old are these people do 22 yeah too young too young and that's what everyone was saying they dodged a fucking bullet yeah everyone
Starting point is 00:27:12 was like you are too young to be getting married but they're like no we love each other the whole reason he proposed was because he cheated on her and he was like trying to get back with her well that is the that is they say not to propose for any other reason other than getting yourself out of the current predicament that you're in exactly so if you find yourself in some murky waters just propose your way out of it yeah i got till december to get married so you're getting married this is true yeah we got another edit of us really yeah oh so maybe we you know maybe you should have froze if you if you propose for tax reasons i would say no i'll do it for the pot that clip clips clips clips you don't clips i know clips um wait i want to hear more about this
Starting point is 00:27:59 so are these your friends yeah she was like a girl i knew in high school and they were gonna they were they were two years younger than us and they were gonna get married he the only reason they were getting married is because he cheated on her and she said yes still did she know that he cheated on her yeah they were like she was willing they were like broken up as like oh what they were like broken up and then he like proposed because her brother had just gotten in like a car accident and so he like showed up to the hospital and was like how do i make all how do i make your brother's car crash about me exactly broke through spikes on the on the road yeah yeah can i ask you a question yeah do you know this guy uh which guy the guy that proposed uh yeah
Starting point is 00:28:44 kind of did he went to high school with you too yeah did he watch entourage uh i don't think so because there is an episode of entourage where they're driving down the road and they're in a huge fight and then he they're like not together and then he just proposes and she's and that fixes it yeah and the tree says yes so maybe he saw that and was like oh yeah so he went to her brother's hospital room and proposed in front of her dying brother no like not in front like outside the hospital oh my god yeah wow and it with like the tiniest ring ever well yeah i mean it's probably you probably stopped on the way there let me see if i can find a picture of the ring because it's like it is like i feel bad i mean definitely is this definitely name of the
Starting point is 00:29:28 person yeah definitely her name is belly you guys just got somewhere i turned pretty fuck god damn it i knew it i actually fucking i because i've been watching this show but i didn't get to see this i started you fucking well done andrew i was like you can't google her name is belly conklin yep that's i was like that's the craziest name i've ever seen damn we just got we just got t-s-i-t-p we got to sip we just got tipped we just got tipped well done Andrew see this is our
Starting point is 00:30:01 investment in Andrew's already paying off he just he just created a clip out of thin air I was so scared you guys were gonna move away from it I was like no no I gotta I gotta google it I gotta google it well done Andrew and so that's what happens in the show and that's what happens in the show and then he actually he actually leaves
Starting point is 00:30:18 wait so Conrad got in a car crash in the show uh no belly's brother so that was steven so i've been watching this show will with flan like i'll just when i'm over not well enough so well no but i like i'm i've only probably seen like two episodes because she doesn't wait for me it's uh it's like some of the worst acting a hundred percent in the world i think it's on purpose you know like soap operas are like it's almost like that uh feels like a hallmark it does feel like a hallmark but there i was watching this one episode and they just the girls just start doing a tiktok dance like
Starting point is 00:30:57 in the middle of it have you seen that one yet andrew it's a fucking seen all of the show yeah oh yeah i'm 100 caught up it comes out once a week it's pretty good but but it's your girlfriend doesn't live here i just wanted that on the record correct is that correct but we have to talk about it after the show so we got to talk about on wednesday night do you so you enjoy it i yeah no i mean i like yeah i watch all like outer banks and i feel like that's like the same vibe yeah this is a similar vibe but even more yeah whatever so willie to catch you up to speed here he that guy cheated on her well yeah andrew just said that and then she's in love with his older brother oh and on their wedding day the brother or the night the night of the bachelor
Starting point is 00:31:48 the joint batch party uh conrad tells her that he's in love with her and she's so clearly in love with him too but then she tells him that she never loved him and she is going to marry the brother and then they how do they run away they run away she ends up she ends up telling the brother that she's gonna marry she's like hey conrad came to me express his feelings and like we talked about it i just want to let you know before we get married tomorrow he gets all upset about it is like missing the morning of the wedding they can't find him he ends up showing up and he's like i can tell you're still in love with him too like we can't in good faith like have this wedding right and then she gets a flight to paris so can i ask you
Starting point is 00:32:33 question where is it because it's it's cousin's island right that's a place in maine wait what that's like your thing you pitched like a hundred times no no that's cousin island cousins have you heard about my pitch for cousins cousin island have you talked about in the pod reality show like eight times cousin island is basically you put a bunch of hot steaming sexy singles in one house here's the catch each person has one like distant cousin that they don't know about and if you accidentally hook up with your cousin you're off that was kind of a show that netflix did no actually yeah have you heard siblings are dating or something like that netflix did that netflix did a show where like they would bring you on with your sibling and then you would date like
Starting point is 00:33:19 other pairs of siblings and it was like really odd but like a bunch of those people go to my gym so like i've seen like the whole show and then i see those guys and i'm like you're from that sibling show i would not do that with my sibling the best there's a really funny clip because that is like our like it started with that instagram account that's great siblings are dating yeah but like they did a there have been like jubilee style youtube videos on it and there was one where uh where they're like the big reveal they're like we are and and the brother or the guy um drums on the girl's ass as like a like a drum roll then they go siblings and everyone's like oh what i knew this girl in high school or no it was middle school who was like
Starting point is 00:34:08 dude i love hiding in my brother's closet when he's in the shower and then when he comes in the room gets naked i pop out and scare him and we're like what we're like you like spying on your brother from his closet when he's naked she was like oh yeah it's like funny really that's really weird yeah it's not funny i wouldn't do that i'm gonna say you're a good guy well hey you guys can cancel me if you want i wouldn't do that i mean listen i'm not gonna do that to my brother so what i'm not gonna do that did you guys tell her like that's incestuous and weird uh i think we're in middle school and we're non-confrontational and so we're like maybe it's maybe it's fine yeah yeah clearly she's not trying to bang him but i don't know if that is clear there
Starting point is 00:34:55 is something about like somewhere i stopped shitting good blood yeah how long were you brewing on that one i took about an hour andrew i saw my favorite tweet of all time that i've been telling really about no what when you lay in on her stomach and you hear daduki brewing best tweet of all time um i'm awesome i don't have to shut this down on her stomach when you hear the dookie brewing i saw did you see those uh like at the jaguars or dolphins game whatever they had some like pop warner team come out you know sometimes they'll play a game the mascot yard line and these like seven-year-old florida kids scored a touchdown and then all just started like humping the ground and they had to like run around and pick all of them because that is like
Starting point is 00:35:43 a celebration all these kids do like google like florida jits uh jits j i that's what they call like i don't know it sounds like a slur it does sound like that's what's in the video then i thought you were gonna google florida seven-year-olds humping i do think that's florida slang though wait i actually have it is maybe i can't say that but is that a bad word i don't know i don't think so yeah but it is this like dance oh okay they like they all like get on the ground to start like humping and like the nfl people had to run around and like quickly pick them up because it was like in on like national television he made a bunch of videos on this this is the same guy yeah pray for these kids yeah he's talking about it i don't like him um yeah i don't know
Starting point is 00:36:31 Let's just talk about something else. What else is going on? What did you get up to this weekend? This weekend, I... You didn't come to the BC game. I did not come to the BC game, and I felt bad about that. It's okay. Where were they playing?
Starting point is 00:36:44 Venice Beach Bar. Venice Beach Bar. Now that you're the official Playdate producer, you're going to have to start coming, but Venice Beach Bar is the official... I know Lauren went all the time. ...BC bar. We actually had a decent crew. We had like 15 people.
Starting point is 00:36:57 Wow. Lauren texted me. i don't know how lauren found out i was not gonna go because i hadn't even made up my mind yet um but it looked like you guys had a good crew yeah we do and i'm gonna be there next saturday was lauren there yeah yeah lauren and me again um but i will uh i'll make an effort to be there next saturday i just hit it too i hit it a little too hard on friday night i ran into footy's cousin footy's cousin yeah okay and uh we were sitting down i was already i'd already tied one on a little bit and i sat down at the bar and uh this is something i need to work on every time i'm with
Starting point is 00:37:33 a buddy who is single and out on the prowl yeah even if they don't want to be introduced to girls i keep doing it and so we were trying we were waiting for drinks and i tapped a girl on the shoulder and i said my friend blank my friend joe wants to meet you and then they seemed like they were hitting it off and then i i always leave my keys at his house so i had to get in the morning and his bedroom door is the only door that's unlocked to get into their house and i walked in and he was upside down in his bed again surrounded by um like takeout boxes so i would say he probably probably did not yeah probably did not take that young lady home which is good but i think they may go on a date soon or something that's good so you can be like a matchmaker to be like some
Starting point is 00:38:20 sort of matchmaker but i uh yeah i got a little excited at at gran blanco we went to we went to townhouse and yeah at like seven o'clock and the bouncer i was wearing what i'm wearing now and he was like how long are you gonna be here and joe and i were like i don't know an hour or so he was like all right he can't be in here and flip-flops after eight we're like okay we'll be out by eight and then i it was like 8 15 and i left and i left my uh credit card in there so i came back and the guy was like no no absolutely not and i was like my credit card's in there i'll be right back he was like all right and so i like hustled in and grabbed my credit card he was like i don't want to see you for the rest of the night that's funny they hate they they haters for real
Starting point is 00:39:04 i'm saying that for real the other night i walked into a bar and i like stumbled as soon as i got in and the manager was like right there and he just looked at me and i went and i turned around i started leaving yeah it's like dude you can't you can't just like stumble in like did i ever tell you what the bouncer said to teep or uh it was either me and redmond or me and teeper we're in boston and we went to get we went to we tried to go to like one more bar oh yeah and uh we walked up and the bouncer was like dude i could let you in but there's literally no there's no bartender that is employed here that will serve you it's like all right cool just top five respect and he just walked into traffic balda top five bar respect moments i had i was on dude i was on fire
Starting point is 00:39:54 on on saturday after the game went out i was at this like i was i was with a chica and i was at this house warming that she had invited me to and i didn't really know anyone there and uh you know i think i was being cash and then i hit someone was like hitting the dab pen and was like you want to hit that and i was like hell yeah like i'm a guy i'm the money guy and i hit the dab pen and i literally like instantly went oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck called an uber was like i was like told her i was like we gotta go right now i'll add a stop at your house like i and then i just got in the uber and just could not talk for and i didn't say a single word and uh got out passed out my bed fully clothed woke up the next morning i was like what the fuck yeah i was like was i
Starting point is 00:40:43 weird and she's like yeah i don't i don't know what that was you just was i weird talking yeah dude yeah you were halfway through the party just stopped talking called an uber and left like that that's like that video i have a group chat with that liam and his little brother that we said memes into and yes and i sent one of this guy who was so high that he thought he was frozen Have you seen that video? No. I was paralyzed. I was paralyzed.
Starting point is 00:41:11 I was just paralyzed. I swear to God. I swear to God. I was just paralyzed. This is not good. This is not good. I called the ambulance. I was just paralyzed.
Starting point is 00:41:19 I was just paralyzed. I was just paralyzed. This is me on Saturday. In front of a girl? It was a pretty all-time bad showing. I was like, oh, no. So I sent that video. We've all been there.
Starting point is 00:41:35 I sent that video to Liam and Sean Culla, and Liam said he had a buddy in high school that had a similar experience where they were smoking. It was his first time smoking, and he fell to his knees, put his head in his hands, and started screaming, make it stop. For like 20 minutes, and they were like, oh my god, we're never smoking with this guy again. Wait, so I have a question for you. It was a nightmare blunt rotation. I was like, nightmare what? When you wake up – because usually, like, my anxieties about the night before are completely alcohol-related. It's only alcohol.
Starting point is 00:42:06 Correct. Does anxiety, like, feel the same way if you acted really weird about weed? It felt – I mean, it was like – I know I didn't, like, do anything crazy. I just knew that I remembered not being able to talk, like, in the Uber. And also, it was like a – it was just like a funny – yeah, I don't know. like like yeah yeah the poor girl like i don't maybe like we would have like gone home together but i just like added a stop and didn't say anything and did you say bye at least i don't know i don't know i don't think so i like also hammer i like thought i was gonna like i was
Starting point is 00:42:45 drunk yes i was drunk yeah you know what you know it's a good move it hit me my friend natty in high school uh right we kind of discovered weed before alcohol like i think many people did and so when we started when our friend group started drinking we had already been smoking a little bit and the first time we drank well after we had smoked he uh someone was driving us to like a party or something and he turned down the music and he goes i am cross-faded and we're all like get out get out of the fucking car right now yeah i mean i i think i yeah like we if i'm drunk i can't like weed isn't gonna unless i'm going to bed the only the only time i do weed after uh after drinking is like an edible when i know i'm gonna be in bed when i'm already like home yeah i don't know i i
Starting point is 00:43:40 just thought i was i think i was it was like a 2016 themed party which is just my favorite kind of music and i was dancing i was like they were playing like tonight tonight there's a party on the rooftop top of the world tonight that's not 2016 yeah it is totally right what maybe earlier that is like 2010 well they played they played that song they just they didn't have it they didn't totally have a grasp on the hot show right 2011 2011 wow well yeah but it took a few years to kind of get that radio play uh they were playing all hot chili ray all night you know what's what's got to be interesting is um is like being high and it's not like if you were like an 80s theme party and you were really high you you could be like oh this is an 80s theme party but if you
Starting point is 00:44:29 were high enough and everyone's dressed like 2016 and there's 2016 music it would maybe be subtle enough that if you didn't know the theme of the party you'd be like what the fuck is going on we didn't know the theme of the party because we showed up and they were like it's 2016 but it is kind of like everyone's in like roshi runs yeah i didn't really know what yeah i was wearing jeans i was on my horse shirt my new horse there's like a corner playing pokemon go yeah someone comes up to you they're like killer costume yeah we had a kid that got so high in high school one time that we just had to like weaken at bernie sims for the rest of the night like he was like dead for the whole night but we're like we have like three parties we gotta hit so we would just like carry
Starting point is 00:45:09 him like everywhere we went he'd just like hang over us and like we'd carry him from like one party and we'd hang out there set him up on a couch yeah yeah he would literally be like asleep on the couch and then like we'd be the hit the next spot we'd be all right and then like luckily he was like four feet tall which is why i think he like greened out he was so small but we like throw him in the back seat of the car we go to the next party like green out or whatever and then finally like i remember the morning of my buddy and i woke up and he was like on the couch or whatever um and my buddy was like i can't believe we killed the kid last night and i was like still kind of like high that morning i was like we didn't actually kill him right like he's not
Starting point is 00:45:48 actually dead he's like nah he's just like sleeping downstairs and as i was like pulling out of the house and leaving i saw the mom like pulling in and the kid was still like greened out on their couch and i was like good luck with that that's very funny we had a we had a uh a group we a neighbor wow why can i not phrase a group of neighbors a neighborhood yeah my time was weird in my town we had a group like my we all had different groups of neighbors one of my best buddies had like three older brothers and they were like the coolest guys and so we're whenever we were at their house you wanted like the older brothers to think that you were really cool 100 and we brought my buddies my other buddy to this house and uh we hit the
Starting point is 00:46:33 older brother's bong and there's i have a video on my snapchat of uh he could not stop like coughing and in the background and like now if someone's like coughing we're just like oh it's like just a part of what we're doing it's not a big deal my friend who it's his house is screaming at the kid coughing uh he's like dude my brother's here stop coughing so much that was embarrassing i remember like the first time yeah i didn't know i did the bong the first time no one taught me i thought you like blow yeah have you ever seen that video when he just shoots the water out there's a kid standing across the room with another bong and you shoot the weed out and it lands in his bong and then he like that's i just think i'm the coolest person ever or like did you ever like
Starting point is 00:47:21 wu-tang a blunt yeah in high school i just eat it i was just like wu-tang and i would just start chomping on it and people were like no you're not you're supposed to like suck it in uh i came back to my house when i was like a junior in high school i just moved into my like the big bedroom at our house you know when your older sibling moves out and you get to like take over there oh i got a story about that do you yeah uh well i'm excited to hear it it's gonna be great great for the podcast and uh and so i just moved in i was like stoked it got everything set up came back and uh tried to go to bed was like spinning around the room and just leaned over my bed and like vomited right next to my uh bedside table and instead of like owning up to
Starting point is 00:48:05 it and like and like telling someone and like that i needed to clean it the next day i tried like my best to do it just with like paper towels or whatever but like it didn't smell very good winter was just around the corner was kind of the end of fall and i was like you know what i'll just open the windows and like this will air out over the next couple weeks i had my windows open like the entire winter because if you closed them the smell would like come back and my dad like would come into my room and be like why are the wit like we're heating the house right now why are your windows open and i was like i just i can't sleep unless it's freezing cold in here and it's like all right all right that's a sir man you can admit that you'd what if you just got well like
Starting point is 00:48:46 i'm sick no yeah i wouldn't what if you puked on it got sick got yourself sick and puked on the same spot cover your tracks that would have pulled trig on the same spot like on day when you've been with your parents and they know you weren't drinking or smoking i threw up what was your story i grew up uh my story was that my i did i i had bunk beds with my brother my whole childhood yep and he's six and a half years older than me so he leaves for college i got plenty of time i got six and a half years still in a slept in a bunk bed for six and a half years and uh the moment i go to college my parents have an exchange student from slovenia staying with them that year and they completely redo the bedroom give him like a nice queen bed and like all this shit i
Starting point is 00:49:37 come back for christmas freshman year college i'm like what the fuck um so renee did you sleep when he was there i had slept in like our guest room like they got rid of my bedroom whoa i don't have like a bed well and then they move so now i don't have a bedroom you don't have a bedroom like at your parents main house i mean i have a room that i like usually sleep in but i like the other one better if my brother's not there so but i don't have like i don't have like stuff in it or anything what you share a room with your brother no i when he's there he gets the better room because he's older i guess but then if it's just me i sleep in that wait why don't they just why don't you just be like this one's mine this one's sam's because i want anytime sam's not there i
Starting point is 00:50:23 want the one that he's interesting because there's one with a queen or king and one with two twins and so if we're a whole family's there i'm delegated to the twins but interesting yeah where did all your childhood stuff go i have like two boxes in my basement which don't they say is like they're like too much you still have those two boxes in our basement well you i'm like i don't even have like that's all the stuff i own yeah that's crazy it's mostly just like my records i've thrown out almost everything really you're not sad about that i was at first but i've started it's kind of awesome yeah just dumping i just did it again recently i just got rid of like so many just donated like half my fucking closet i have a trash bag like one of the industrial size black
Starting point is 00:51:07 ones that i have to take to goodwill because my closet was getting yeah i felt like bad about it i was just like i literally my rule was trying i was trying to do like if i haven't worn it in the last year it's going in this bag but then there's like a lot of cool shit where i'm like i just didn't get around to wearing that last year that's maybe maybe this year i think you just have to be honest with yourself you're like if i haven't worn it in a year i'm not gonna fucking wear it there were like there was a pair of like linen pants where i was like i you never know i was like no i'm not if i get invited to a linen i'm never gonna i'm never gonna get invited to like the white party uh how about that 2016 party but i i still i someone out there unless i'm just as
Starting point is 00:51:48 bad unless i'm just really bad at like keeping track of my stuff someone is stealing my t-shirts because i no one's stealing your t-shirt think about how many t-shirts i used to own and now i have like 10 oh yeah you're right actually someone might be stealing your t-shirts holy shit cold cases well what about what about flight oh cold cases she has her own drawer in my dresser that is that is of your things that she wears or her things a combination of the two um but i would know if it was at her house too like here's how i know it is the hotel room thing that we always talk about like lucas walked in the other day just in one of my favorite shirts yeah i was like what which one it was the broke never cheap one and he was like yeah you left it
Starting point is 00:52:32 in the hotel room and i was like okay that's fair because i guess i would have left it there yeah but then i had to trade him i had to trade him one of my shirt one of my other shirts that i own to get that one back wasn't it our merch yeah it was it was it was it was the misprint god is a playmate show that's funny so it's like the god is a playmate thing but it's like sideways twist it up with twisted tea that's the slogan i just made up for them twisted tea is the the goat uh the goat beverage it's goaded i would like to say it's sort of goaded no i love here's what i love about twisty real tea taste real there's no bubbles so you can crush them i was uh on the beach on saturday and i was playing die which is a little cringe i guess no but it's really fun
Starting point is 00:53:23 and uh guess what i was drinking guess what i was pulling in my cup twee twee we're drinking twee twee on the beach i mean that's like that's like baseball in america that's like apple pie and hot dogs like that's yeah you can't there's no better combo i can i give you can i give you a little pro tip hit me this is what i've been doing go into the kitchen get yourself an iced glass put a glass in the freezer fill it up with ice yeah twisted tea in there sit on the couch i i probably didn't leave my couch all day i was just watching football twee ended up and i had probably i'd probably the best day anyone's ever had if you don't if you ain't rocking with the tweet then you ain't rocking with me come on that's their new saying that i just came up with
Starting point is 00:54:06 again keep it twisted y'all uh i like the arnold palmer one by the way i do too i'm a half and half guy but you know i go peach i go original i go whatever i like to reach into the box and just whatever i pull out that's what i'm that's what i'm drinking whatever it takes uh guys go anywhere you get your twee which is pretty much anywhere in the world if they don't sell tweet they ain't a real store that's what i that's their new slogan amen uh grab a refreshing twisted tea today let's get back into the episode come on baby if you want to cut through that morning brain fog start your day the only way to know the way that you should do it that's mud water you hear it all about mushrooms and how they're cool now and everyone's doing them and
Starting point is 00:54:50 there's like cool kinds and i don't know what any of that shit means but i figured out that mud water gets it right yeah this stuff you put i make a little like i can make a little latte out of it it comes with a frother if you get like the kit yep make a little latte with my mud water it's you know you don't get the jitters that you get from caffeine sometimes but you get all the good like energy cutting through that brain for i i tend to be a little like slow moving in the mornings yep like a like a horse or a turtle perhaps mud water turns me into a full speed cheetah come on uh you know i as i've talked a little bit about i've been getting into reading yes curl up with a nice mud water and your kindle oh my lord maybe it's even foggy outside maybe a
Starting point is 00:55:33 little drizzle yeah a little mud water just to get the blood pumping a little bit mud water yes gets me going come on baby every got a target now you know and sprouts come on yeah and every ingredient in mud water's products are 100 usda certified non-gmo gluten-free vegan and kosher and on top of all that zero sugar let me say that again zero sugar and no sweeteners added every ingredient serves a purpose you know that you can put in your favorite mug pour some water on it give it a mix go wild go nuts add some honey cbd maybe come on creamer come on you can even get uh caffeine free blends if you want that it's sustained energy without the spikes and crashes of traditional coffee yep ready to make the switch to cleaner energy head to mudwater.com
Starting point is 00:56:22 and grab your starter kit today right now our listeners get an exclusive deal up to 43 off your entire order plus free shipping and a free rechargeable frother when you use code playdate that's right up to 43 off with code playdate at mudwtr.com after you purchase they're going to ask you how you found them please show your support and let them know that we sent you please mud water put that mud in my water come on let's get back into the episode all right roadmap time luke combs is like um what's next like tom tom brush brush oh i saw luke combs i got a few good names luke combs what's next ryan brush that's free for any tech talkers out there that would like to do that and we just gave you a gold clip uh i have a question yeah a thing
Starting point is 00:57:15 to say i saw two great names yesterday okay walking around town keep my eye out for good names joe king is a realtor i was like how would you ever trust a deal if you rented a place from it's like for lease joking i was like so is it even really i almost made my fantasy team name by the way the thing that you your idea right you're playing no like everyone would think that year um everyone would think that they don't have a game that week right right oh my dude i'm fucking i've been it's like bad like i i should just stop now but i've been gambling you've been gamble not gamble max that sounds like i'm gambling a ton i've been hitting at an unbelievable clip for the last three weeks if you've learned anything from like time in an actual casino
Starting point is 00:58:07 know this is your time to double down i was gonna say stop right no i think i think you're right i think i've won a lot of money i think my dad got bit by the gambling bug because he called me on sunday and he he was like a guy a guy in his golf group approached him and was like hey you know let's bet let's bet dinner on the on the cats game because my dad's a big uk fan and uh and my dad he might add like uk uh plus nine or whatever and it hit on that last field goal with like two seconds left and so i think he experienced like the rush of like oh my god now he's hooked i told him i told him not to do it but i think he might be hooked i yeah does he not gamble when he golfs he plays like they have a what's the they have like a name for it but it never results
Starting point is 00:59:06 i think the worst it could be is like 18 bucks skins no he plays skins i think in like the big league but uh in his like regular group they have some game that basically comes out to just like a dollar roll so like they like and they're all around the same skill level so he's the he's like the most he's ever lost is like five bucks yeah um all right we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches followed by followed by this guy rocks yeah there it is what do you guys think about um pre-recording i saw that sky rock i would like to if we're gonna do it if anyone out there's like a like a music producer i would like to really do it take it seriously out of paper out of stock
Starting point is 01:00:01 there's friendly faces around the block called michael and stanley remember that yeah i thought oh wait before we get into this i tried to watch the paper oh i heard the opposite i heard it's really good oh i thought the first 20 minutes of the first episode was pretty grim i couldn't It's grim. It was just like, damn it. I just started feeling sad. I feel sad for Oscar. Why is he doing it?
Starting point is 01:00:30 Oh, Oscar's in it? Yeah, it's like they probably asked everyone, and he was the only one desperate enough. Or maybe he just wanted to do it. You're right. But it made me sad. I could not shake this deep sadness I felt while watching it. It was like they were trying to capture lightning in a bottle twice, and lightning never strikes twice in a bottle. lightning is only able you can only capture lightning in a bottle once it was just like
Starting point is 01:00:54 because it's all shot the same way it starts with bob vance is in it oh really opening scene is like bob vance yeah isn't the new isn't dunder mifflin now like a laser removal or like yeah where that place was but then they i don't know it is like two copy because like the nice thing about like the office to parks and rec was like they kind of had their own spin but the paper just truly feels like the walmart brand office and i'm gonna go into it with an open mind i heard i i think sometimes but i don't think it's bad honestly i don't think it's you watched yeah i watched the first two episodes and i think i think the the office i felt the same way starting out it was like kind of made me sad didn't really think it was that funny and then like as they build out
Starting point is 01:01:39 the characters you start to like enjoy it more so yeah maybe i just i i don't think i gave it enough of a shot i was yeah i'll give it i'm gonna give it i was so on edge like literally and during the opening credits like fuck fuck fuck this sucks i'm gonna be so sad but the theme song like is similar so similar and oscar's in it and you know the camera is it about a newspaper yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna go into it with an open mind because i think there's a world where i like it i believe i believe and then we are gonna do teach me something and then willie And now we're going to do Nathan For You episodes that don't exist. Yep.
Starting point is 01:02:16 Followed by boat names that don't exist. I'm very excited for these. And then we'll end with Rusty's songs of the day. I didn't do very well on the boat names, I don't think. Oh, I more meant the Nathan one than I'm excited for. Oh, okay. But I'm excited for all of them. I'm excited just to be with you guys sharing this moment.
Starting point is 01:02:34 A special episode for Andrew. A special episode for you. A special episode for me. Andrew, do you want to... Guys, I needed this. Do you want to? Well, that's why we did it. We were worried that you would, if we didn't, you know, we were worried about.
Starting point is 01:02:50 Which is true. I have the noose ready. Yeah. Yeah. You kind of forced our hand. Yeah. You know what? Now that you already have the job, we might as well tell the playmates, Andrew threatened
Starting point is 01:02:59 us with all three of our lives. Andrew found our sex tape. Yeah. And we have no choice. Notice it was singular. You didn't find our sex tapes. Correct. Found our sex tapes.
Starting point is 01:03:09 I just found one of them. Yeah. what if if there was a video of you having sex could would that be enough to extort you to do like anything it would be because it's it shouldn't look like that right are you good at it you asked me this last i know i last episode i want to stop i want an answer idea probably not are you good at sex andrew stop it um you want to have sex and find out now i'm curious we didn't have sex and You can decide for me. You can't ask every episode if everyone else on the podcast is good at sex.
Starting point is 01:03:46 Fucking, are you good at sex? Try and stop me. Uh, no. You said last week that you think you're finally getting to the point where you could call it sex. Yeah, that doesn't mean I'm good at it. I know, I'm just saying you already answered this question. Okay. Hear that?
Starting point is 01:04:02 It's your money calling. It wants a promotion. elevate your savings with the scotia high interest savings account always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest conditions apply visit scotiabank.com slash hisa to learn more scotia bank you're richer than you think why don't you fucking pitch us all right oh no andrew actually this is what i meant to ask coffee i want more now that you officially have the job is there anything you would like to say to the playmates yeah i'm gonna get a lot more women on nice we're gonna we're gonna get some guests
Starting point is 01:04:44 we've had a guest on in a fucking minute i think billy's gonna come on after his jaw surgery through the wire to the window um and then also i'm gonna get lauren on as a guest good luck she's a tough get yeah are we bringing her back let's see oh i could cut that no i'm joking i was like i was like rusty does not like no i do want her back okay um that'd be great yeah i'd love to get some more estrogen in here i hate that i said that yeah you should have said like uh cut that andrew okay uh hello peter bjorn bjorn bjorn and john who is that where are these people uh peter bjorn and john
Starting point is 01:05:41 what is the worst part about driving by a billion cop cars on the street or at a business did you want to know what is happening but you can't tell you're reading it oh i actually wasn't i was really looking at bjorn and john thing but is that what it says i would have said i would have also said uh i would have also said you would like to know yeah what is going on in there uh my my nosy ass wants to know what crime my nosy ass want to get up in there all right you guys are reading this okay introducing the nosy nelly oh i didn't know i swear to god i didn't read that uh this is a pay what you can donation service that will donate your money to whatever party involved that got that got the short end of the stick in the situation in exchange for you to
Starting point is 01:06:32 getting to know the entire lowdown of what went down at the local grocery store slash neighbor's side of the road it will deliver you a full report of what went down at the situation and provide you live updates as the story develops if there is no party involved that really deserves the money it will go to a local animal shelter or girl scout troop the nosy nelly 3000 allows you to know all the deets of the local drama that wouldn't otherwise become public while giving to someone who deserves it and putting the bad guys on blast if it is sensitive information the identifiers of those affected can remain confidential sorry if this is highly unethical keep up the great work team sydney no it's yeah it's she she she she got it got it uh great towards the end there it's it's
Starting point is 01:07:19 only like funny crimes it's not like i don't want to hear about murders or anything like that but i also like that you're donating to the affected party too so it's like right yeah mutually beneficial i would want to what you drive by or you see like you see like your mom pulled over or something and then above it it's just like flashing like she got in trouble for like flashing other motorists or something oh motor like you found out about something that your mom was oh like you paid and then you found out your mom was flashing other motorists that's what you that's where your mind went you think your mom would be flashing the fact that i didn't even get like an uh crack of a smile out of andrew made me want like literally made me want to never
Starting point is 01:08:03 Never do the podcast. No, I thought you were saying, like, flashing. Like, there was, like, a flashing sign. Yeah, I got lost there. I picked the wrong crime. It was the first crime that came to mind. Is flashing a crime? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:14 My friend in high school, Vijay. Vijay? Vijay. He was really into street racing, and he had one of those, like, cop monitors. Nice. And so he could just hear what all the cops were saying while he was, like, driving around and stuff. So he could see, like, where they were. But he would, like, hear, like, what was going on, like, the accidents and things like that.
Starting point is 01:08:32 he basically had his own nosy nelly that's cool yeah oh yeah i guess you could just get a police radio yeah everyone can do that pretty much no but it's illegal to have in your like i think if you have that like yeah there are some like racing ones where it makes a noise when a cop when it like when a cop is near and those are illegal and so he would have to like hide it um when he got pulled over but what's weird is now google maps has like a thing that says like yeah cops are nearby my dad got a medal on ways for being like one of their top reporters really that's awesome because he drives constantly like his his uh commute to work from booth bay to portland is like an hour and a half so he'll just report like cops and like broken down cars and everything like
Starting point is 01:09:14 that and they told him he's in like the top point something percent of you got like a like a virtual medal for it my uh my uncle's a state trooper in maine and one time we were driving he was you know he'd play the radio on the cars i was kind of interesting but one time we were driving down the highway and someone was like mad at him and like it's like an unmarked car uh and so they were like riding on his ass like fucking with him and he goes watch this and uh just flicks on the lights for like a half second and off so like the guy's riding on his ass he's just like peels right off oh that's awesome dude i'm still paying for uh for a ticket i got when i was in like either senior year in high school or freshman in college i passed the state trooper
Starting point is 01:10:00 going like 93 and we'll put a picture right here phil has a picture i'm in a friday beers sweatshirt talking to outside of my car talking to a cop because he was an unmarked car and he but it was so clearly a state trooper it was like only they drive those dodge yeah charged with a giant antenna on the back and he was like are you stupid because that's criminal speeding he was like i could take you to jail right now yeah there's a 300 ticket you're still paying it in terms of like it's still on my record so my insurance is high because of that yeah i just got car insurance for the first time today come on wawanisa what that's the cheapest one that's what i have oh i thought because my car's a nissan i got confused there what did you get want a nissan
Starting point is 01:10:43 i don't know what we got scott just did it nice should i find out no oh no i can't imagine that's like super interesting um there was a house on my in my neighborhood that was always like we knew something fishy was going on in there and then one day the guy just got arrested and like got taken away and i never heard from him again and i i've always wanted to know what the crime was so nosy nelly would come in handy for that no body no crime nobody no crime girl your buddy is crime bird girl your buddy baby i don't really want to know how you got in rows because i just want to fly oasis what did you go to oasis i did not know but i saw everyone from our company went flan when flan went went saturday i wanted to go i
Starting point is 01:11:40 did too i just didn't have it in me i just didn't have it in me this one this next pitch is uh dogs but for when you're really hot yes yes dog that's it someone submitted just dogs but for when you're really hot and i could tell that they were also really hot when they submitted this i like that a lot that is really good yeah yeah i mean what's the worst part about being hot no dog no dogs scared scared because no dogs because there's no dogs there exactly i love it i'm in yeah i'm down we gotta start i feel like we're getting to the age now where we gotta start we gotta start making some big investment plays if anyone has any companies out there you're looking you're look you're doing a round of funding hit willie and i am apple we want to we want to get on that we
Starting point is 01:12:26 You want to get in on the ground floor. Yeah, but only for a couple hundred bucks. No. If you have a good idea, I would give you all the money I have. I want to be able to be 60 and everyone be like, he took a huge risk and it paid off. Were you about to say the number of all the money that you have? No, it didn't sound like it. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:46 I don't even know how much I have, so that wouldn't... $10. $10. $10. $10 quid. we were playing musical flip cup on which is a game that i really play with my friends oh you're not talking about the draft no uh on saturday and my someone was like what are we playing for and i like have all this like cash like right in my room from it's still from the
Starting point is 01:13:06 margarita boat cruise so i just like i was like i kind of joke i was drunk and i put a hundred dollar bill in the middle of the table and then my buddy trent won and like i didn't even really think about it in the moment and then the next day i was like oh fuck he actually took the hundred bill and he flew back to boston so oh damn whatever uh he he needs it dude he's really my friend trent is really uh down bad no i'm just kidding my friend trent was here this weekend it was great that's awesome yeah i don't think i've met him you didn't uh all right what's the worst part about what's the worst part about windows or what were you gonna say sorry no i was gonna it was about covid but i feel like everyone's sick of talking about that at this point
Starting point is 01:13:43 um normal i wanted my name to be trent when i was a kid really yeah because uh there was like this guy on what was what was that show called there's a guy survivor no total drama island oh and the cool guy was a survivor show yeah yeah you remember that and the guy named the cool guy was named trent i never watched that's such a cool name i always thought logan was a cool name because the guy from um i like my middle my middle name is that austin butler austin but no oh no the other guy other guy austin butler's in total drama island no he's in zoe 101 oh he doesn't look very cool that guy this guy you see this guy oh yeah he does look cool never mind anyway all right what is the worst part about windows
Starting point is 01:14:29 hurts andrew what's the worst part about windows stings burglars can get in cat burglars cat burglars can get in because they're just on of track so no matter if it's closed or not yeah unless you lock it they can just press on the glass and slide it up introducing the pill bottle lock locking window so it's on a track in the same way that to get into like a pill to so that children can't get it you have to push them down and then do it uh you you don't you never have to lock your windows again you just have to push in and it's on a track and then it'll slide up but if a burglar is on the outside they can't pull it obviously so they
Starting point is 01:15:19 can't if they try to push on your window and open it it wouldn't open so you can keep your windows you know you don't have to worry about locking them and no cap larder is that a problem for you a lot it's a worry of mine for sure do you not lock your windows on they don't know i leave my windows open but you're up on like the fifth floor cat burglar textbook definition they got those suction things yeah yeah i'm worried about like they had the suction things though that that wouldn't help yeah they could just pull it then fuck oh my god i got a fucking complaint so you know i'm like dealing with my my hot water heater doesn't work yeah so i'm like building a case right now i'm like amassing all these emails that i've sent them about like times i've notified
Starting point is 01:16:05 them that our hot water is working i thought it was that you wouldn't pay the gas bill that was like one that was like one week you didn't hear that oh that was like no i picked that that one time no but i mean that wasn't related to the water no that we had have been experiencing this problem for like years and then my roommate one week forgot to pay the gas bill and that was the one time i went like ballistic and so i've been like i'm i'm gonna like report them unless they fix this and i want to get like a bunch of money and uh and i got an email last night that the people below us were like hey they can hey just as a heads up the people below you can hear you walking around your apartment yeah you live in an apartment you have an upstairs neighbor or
Starting point is 01:16:45 whatever and so i emailed back and i was like hey yeah we'll be more mindful about how we're walking well i have you though like my shower is still and i went on just like a full tangent and uh we were trying to come up with like a clever way we were originally our response was going to be like if they want to swap apartment or we'll swap with them if they have hot water but then i was like that's kind of mean that's funny i know yeah fucking assholes but if you live you live in it you you chose to live in an apartment building you know people live above yeah i like kind of hear them sometimes in ours but not that much yeah but they were like they were like it's that you're walking sounds excessive and i'm like i could run a fucking
Starting point is 01:17:26 marathon in my apartment if i want to i live there that's not your problem are you is it been excessive though i guess now i'm like walking quieter on purpose but it i don't know they were like in the email they go like they heard you move a chair i was like yeah i probably moved a chair i'm allowed to do that yeah what i think they're trying to like build their own case of like noise complaints so that because i think they know i'm gonna do something rash and i think they want to like evict us oh yeah they shouldn't right yeah totally maybe pitch me willy all right oh we got progressive nice that's what i had and they and then i got hit when we got hit by that woman yeah they rate they raise my rates through the roof uh it's fucked what are they cute andry
Starting point is 01:18:22 this is before your time but the woman that hit us accused willie of drinking he was she was on the phone with cops she was like they're all hammered he's drinking a beer right now right now and really like it's a celsius and she's like what's that but she's like on the phone with the cops only trying to yell it's a celsius like so that they're gonna they can hear it through the other end of it in her defense though some of the celsius got mixed with the high noon yeah oh some of them did get yeah that's crazy so you might have been drinking a high noon dude yeah the when the cop showed up like if i was a cop and someone was accusing the people of that hit me of like being drunk or on drugs i would put them through like some sort of sobriety test
Starting point is 01:19:01 just like for my own mental sanity he literally he just took my like i could have been hammered He just took my word for it. He did. And he, I asked him, I was talking to the guy and he was like, there was this whole situation, but basically at one point I asked him a question and he goes and pointed his body cam. And I was like, imagine though, like he was like, okay, and what do you do for work? And you're like, I'm not hammered, but my job is I rank beers.
Starting point is 01:19:30 We were going to the Rolling Stones and he was like talking to us about the Rolling Stones. Yeah. He was like, dude, it's going to be a sick show. like he didn't ask us about the case one he literally was just like he instantly knew this woman was crazy didn't remotely check if i was were you guys in inglewood when you got hit brentwood okay yeah i was gonna say people in inglewood are insane every time somebody reaches out and they're like do you want to live in my apartment in inglewood i go no they get offended and they like fight me on it who reaches out like when i used to live in those like little like
Starting point is 01:20:00 furnished apartments i would just send like a general application like i'm interested in these areas or whatever and people be like oh i have this place in englewood i'm like ah it's a little far and they're like fuck you you're gonna die alone and i'd be like whoa whoa yeah that's that englewood mentality yeah that's the wood for you bro yeah all right here's my pitch you ready it's nfl red zone has commercials now does it really yeah oh what everything's going to shit i mean what do you consider like a commercial like those little like frame things they added like full commercials now do they really what's the point of this year what's the point of red zone it's espn now bought it i think well that doesn't buy apparently for the whole day there
Starting point is 01:20:40 was one minute of commercials i must have missed what the commercial was because i they they always did that frame thing like the lows yeah frame but i've never seen them actually like play they do an actual commercial i was all you guys see this it was all over the news i wasn't watching red zone anyway i wasn't either i actually only watched the jets game the goddamn jets man they fucking finally the offense that was the best offensive performance i think i've seen from the jets in my entire life and then they still lost to aaron rogers who's a fucking pussy anyway yeah that was brutal game um nfl overlay because the other thing about red zone here's the problem with red zone it's like oh i'm looking here i'm looking here i don't know
Starting point is 01:21:24 what's happening where like you don't know where to look at the right time sometimes if you have like an octobox or something or you don't know if they're going to switch to the right game at the right time it's all the games on the same screen overlaid on top of each other with varying degrees of transparency so you can watch every game at the same time on one screen i actually really like that like it's like oh my god deep ball to oh down the middle oh you know what i mean you i actually i'm all jokes aside if they could figure out like the right the right degree of transparency for all because i was watching four games at once and i literally my felt like my brain was gonna explode yeah was that the youtube tv like yeah four bucks yeah that is
Starting point is 01:22:07 you got brain that made you explode i love chilling with you dude we gotta hang out and film it i was watching sunday night football next to the vmas and it's such an like an insane thing to watch both at the same time you just you're like over here you got like derrick henry touchdown and then you look over and somebody's in like nothing but bra and panties like humping the stage wait whoa what just what just happened did you record that on tivo someone on the bills wait i have a question did you see derrick henry in the bills game almost got nailed by a beer no he ran he ran in a touchdown and a fan hurled a beer at him and it just like skipped right in front that's that bill's mafia did you ever did you like the vmas i did yeah why did you
Starting point is 01:22:52 you're gonna like cry did you like the vma am i going to hell for watching the vmas no who was the best vma um probably gracie abrams she performed no on saturday i was trying to if you see my my my tiktok i was trying to uh i was ranking my hangover and i was trying to figure out for a while how to get college football on one of the octoboxes and prisoner of azkaban on the other that would be cool that would be awesome that would be cool if you could split screen a movie and would you just keep the audio on the movie though and then just like yeah okay yeah i have a question i was just watching you're reading the sorcerer's stone yeah i just watched
Starting point is 01:23:41 it last night yeah why when you know when hagrid comes and gets harry yep where are they oh so it's actually interesting i'm actually glad you brought this up because i was like they're on like a rock in the middle of the ocean they are so they didn't they didn't address this in the movie and i had never this is the first time i learned this because i just started reading sorcerer's stone basically you know the letters are like flooding into the house yeah he in the book they go to like a bunch of different places of like increasing um solitude solitude to try and avoid the letters and the last place they end up they're like drive jerseys like driving around and then like finds this like old shack out on a rock and they have a guy like like loan them their boat and they paddle
Starting point is 01:24:31 out there but in the movie they just don't address it and they're just like on this rock yeah i was like what they probably shot more and then they cut it or something yeah but dude there's so much in the book that is not in the movie yeah it's been great for me that's interesting okay that makes sense because i was like what the fuck is this like a dream yeah i and also the in the movie without the context of that obviously you're not like on the dursley side but at the same time you're like this guy's just stalking them no you're they're so fucking we were i was like this is like not just like oh they're mean to him it's like full-blown child abuse yeah dude so they they shoving him in the closet and like the cupboard under the stairs yeah dude they don't
Starting point is 01:25:13 address this in the movie either but they uh or they talk about it very briefly in uh in the second movie but the whole time they just had another bedroom that was for Dursley's toys and so like Harry could have had a bedroom the whole time wait and then to to get him to not uh be mad at them yeah about the I forget like the intricacies of it but they uh gave him the dursley's second bedroom as like his name dudley sorry dursley's the dad okay no dursley's the last name yeah yeah sorry they call hagrid calls he's like dry up dursley you great prune got it um they give him dudley's second bedroom as like a don't hurt us with your magic but in the second in harry potter the movies he just gets the bedroom they don't
Starting point is 01:26:07 address it interesting lots of fun stuff happening a lot to learn i remember thinking those books were huge and dude that's why i got a kindle yeah well they're not that they're actually not that they fly by on the kindle yeah all right should we do this guy rocks yeah yeah all right this guy and i'm gonna airdrop this this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey andrew pause this immediately and i mean immediately we've all kind of had this thought before but it's really fun to to just hear someone actually talk about it so let's let's give it a shot hit me the officer who finally gets to arrest trump what one sentence do you say as you put on the handcuffs this is for what you've done the white race that was powerful
Starting point is 01:26:55 thank you finally someone talking you're the officer who finally gets to put the handcuffs on trump what's the one sentence you say this is what you've this is for what you've done to the white race which to me i don't know which side he falls on i don't know if he's fully aware it felt like he started that sentence with absolutely no plan that was like lauren's check-in video where like he started he started recording and just tried to find it along the way yeah this is for what you've done to the white race the um all right willie you're the officer who finally gets to slap the handcuffs on trump what what's the one sentence you say i say don't drop the soap andrew i've always said i'm sorry this is just my job i'm just following orders
Starting point is 01:27:41 just following orders sir i actually voted for you i'm actually gonna let you go oh just play cool i'm gonna let you go in a second run run this is someone goes expected a zig and he's this is for what you've done to the white race yeah he he held on that w for a while i thought he was gonna say like maybe women i was like yeah i've done a lot of women yeah he has done a lot of bad things to women i was thinking the white race though was not not the race i was expecting yeah yeah it's like actually i feel like i feel like you've been pretty good yeah i think that's the one kind of the one he's like laid off a little bit um all right willie good luck hit me good luck one up and following that up oh i love this video have you seen this yeah it's so
Starting point is 01:28:29 inspirational gangsters booked a whole seminar just to see who judge them for their looks It's like what are they doing It's like they're gangsters It's just there's nowhere to sit If I walked into any movie theater And everyone was looking at me Also wait Pause it for a second Andrew
Starting point is 01:28:57 Also part of it Like those people tried to go to their seats They weren't judging them They just didn't get up Charlie Sheen so sad the music is so funny they still don't get up
Starting point is 01:29:34 they're all like harassing him he's like all right that is you take the edible and you walk into the movie theater gangsters also gangster they just like guys who have like black t-shirts on just one guys like motorcycles this is actually exactly how i felt this weekend i went to my apartment to my apartment pool and there was like clearly a couple that like i wasn't sure if they just got done doing something freaky or like we're about to do something freaky but it was really like you can't you can't tell that anyone's in the pool until it's like too late you know until you're
Starting point is 01:30:33 like there yeah i was like you can't just like turn around like these guys and so i like walked out there with like my book and i see this couple and they just like glare at me and i was like fuck and then the pool is like this big like it's tiny and so i just like laid my stuff down got my book and just got as far in the other corner as i possibly could and i couldn't even pay attention to the book because i just felt like they were staring at me the whole time and i reading in the pool it's baller and i was um flex um and i was like damn my mama andrew shit reading in the pool yeah sorry but i was just like listening to their conversation and at one point i heard the girl go oh no oh no i've had diarrhea in the last week because there's a sign like in the back that's
Starting point is 01:31:16 like if you've had diarrhea in the last week you can't be in the pool or something oh my god and she goes oh shoot i've had diarrhea in the last week she's like but i don't think there's ever been a week i haven't had diarrhea and i was like i was like i gotta get out of this i have had diarrhea i i think this is from like the marathon training i've had diarrhea for a month i'm not gonna every time that has to be something you're eating i think it's just like every day for a month almost yeah i mean it's not it's not every poop is complete is it sting stink or sting sting yes does it stink yes so why wouldn't the answer to just be yes it was yes i just wanted to know what you were asking it's it's been i haven't had like a good solid pooping it's like that um
Starting point is 01:32:03 that curb your enthusiasm episode where he's like sorry the food's late i have diarrhea at the waiter and then they're like did they did he say he has or had that's funny um yeah it's been really really bad i'm sorry man i'm still using it sorry page i was late i had diarrhea like last week do you have one of the is it one of those ones where you have to be like like you're like like no it's just i just go to poop normally and then it's just no i mean you're on the toilet and it's coming out like it does it do you have sting ring or does it or is it just like it like explodes out my butt nice like a pop rock you've never had one of those where you're on the toilet and it's like it's like like it like it like hurts that
Starting point is 01:32:49 bad i've had ones i don't know if i've had that and i've had ones so i don't i don't do very well with gluten and dairy and if i have like a spicy pea or not spicy if i have a spicy poop no what's the what's the pizza if i have a naughty pie from prince street oh yeah i will be on the toilet and i will have to like turn the bidet on just so that i can get up and walk around because i'm in so much pain and then i sit back down yeah those naughty pies i call it i call it sting ring yeah all right next segment all right sorry to anyone that was eating lunch this guy's awesome this teach me something oh here's something this is about the movie i was watching last night hagrid yeah the guy who plays hagrid's six one yeah you know this yeah it's kind of they just like they like they
Starting point is 01:33:37 just like do funny like camera work to make him look that tall and then they had one like 610 guy who would be in a few of the full-body shots. Yeah, there was also, like, an animatronic version of him that would sit in, like, the, like, wide shots. Oh, interesting. And they could, like, move his face with a PS4 controller. Wait, really? Yeah, pull up, like, animatronic hacks.
Starting point is 01:33:58 He wasn't on stilts? I read there was a 6'10 rugby player. Yeah, isn't that crazy? Oh. Doesn't he really look like him? And he, like, could, like, move. It was, like, very... Wait, go to the words part again.
Starting point is 01:34:13 an animatronic hagrid head was used in the harry potter films primarily in wide shots and action scenes to portray hagrid oh it was worn by the stunt double so we're both right yeah very nice that's interesting wait he was six one and he was single brother brother there's only a few of us oh i got one who here is scared of cheetahs who here is scared of cheetahs come on we're all scared never killed a human in the wild really they do not they do not view humans as prey apparently they can't catch us they're like a big like because i've seen all these videos where like nat geo cameramen will like have a cheetah come like sleep on them or whatever and they're like how are they not scared yeah never killed a human in the wild that we know of can you
Starting point is 01:35:09 double check that though just in case where'd you get that info tiktok or chat gpt did i google is there an animal that state that seems dangerous but isn't maybe no there are no confirmed reports or documented documented cases of wild cheetahs ever killing a human so there are these videos they like act like just big cats yeah big house cats yeah that is really interesting actually i didn't know that well oh uh andrew can you cool what do cheetah eat it's gonna be small animals and rodents so like because they don't gazelles so they can they could totally kill us oh 100 they have in captivity it said good i think if you have a cheetah captive you deserve to you deserve to get
Starting point is 01:36:03 what actually no i'll say that for another word say it say it when i was in high school pre tiger king we went to one of those uh big cat sanctuaries is what they're called it was part of our like apes curriculum that we would go on this road trip to one of those part of your apes curriculum ap environmental science yeah i thought you did it together i actually took that class your teacher your teacher couldn't get you like a monkey sanctuaries they were like cheetahs are cool yeah yeah i actually took apes too okay yeah did you go to a big cat sanctuary uh or five maybe uh no i think i got a four i feel like that was like the easiest ap right yeah i did not i did not i don't think i ever i took a handful of ap because i don't think i ever
Starting point is 01:36:48 took the test once really that's like the whole point yeah because you could get college credit um anyway i remember talking to the workers and they were like yeah it's like really hard to get in like be one of the workers here and uh i was like you know this is a pretty isolated place like where do you live and she's like oh we stay here like year round like we live in little dorm things and i was like oh okay she's like yeah it's crazy like you know we do everything together we have all our meals together we all sleep in like the same kind of like rooms and everything and and then like she started talking more and more about it about like yeah we don't really like talk to our family that much and like we kind of like only have each other and the more she talked
Starting point is 01:37:30 i was like oh this is a cult yeah like this is a hundred percent a cult was it one of the people was it one of the places like in the documentary no but like i think the general consensus is that all those big cat sanctuaries are like yeah pretty culty um but like she wouldn't talk about like the process of like how to become a trainer there and like how to get in get out get the cats and she was like yeah people don't really like leave here ever and i was like oh my god the only way they leave here is in a hearse come on come on um but yeah i thought that was like pretty insane because then tiger king came out like two years later i never saw that is that tiger king you would like tiger king you would love it yeah that came out two years later i was like yeah this is the vibe
Starting point is 01:38:12 i was getting from those people too they're like and they all have like beef with each other like the different sanctuaries like hate each other huh um all right should we start with nathan for you episodes that don't exist or boat names that don't exist come down either one nathan for you episodes yeah like that these are nathan for you plots that don't exist a laundromat is struggling to get business and nathan realizes that the one thing that could help them stand out is if they guarantee that they can do your laundry instantly have it ready in under 30 seconds people think that's impossible see but here's the catch this is what he does on the back end he creates a system of like a the payment process when you go to put your card in it gets jammed every time and so the
Starting point is 01:38:58 card's jammed and there's like an issue and then there's a survey at the end and so the process of actually getting the payment through takes 30 minutes and that's enough time to actually do the world's fastest laundry so you say the laundry is ready they bring out a bag they put it down after 30 seconds your laundry is not in there payment thing has an issue 30 minutes later you finally get it and once they're ready they swap the clothes with a secret trap door whoa and so you think it's been sitting there the whole time really took 30 minutes i love it does that make sense yes yeah did you really like it i did yeah a hot sauce brand is struggling to stand out and so nathan comes up with the idea that they have a hot sauce that is so hot it can kill you and the
Starting point is 01:39:39 way to get around this is they find someone who is going who's on their deathbed and right before they are about to die they give him a wing with the hot sauce on it that is kind of just like normal mild hot sauce yep but he dies immediately after so now they can advertise that their hot sauce is so hot it could actually kill you i love that i think you guys shouldn't be saying these why they're so good oh thank you i'm gonna steal them uh guitar store is struggling so nathan decides that he's gonna put a bunch of uh plants in the store and so when someone comes in and tries a guitar they all go whoa that is groovy when they start playing and then say something like mind if i hop in and every time with each customer they end up forming like a five-piece
Starting point is 01:40:23 band where the guy thinks he's they're all professional musicians and they make him sound really good so he's like and they're like that guitar is doing something for you and he thinks it's like this every customer thinks they created this like once in a lifetime moment that's fantastic that's really good yeah yeah wait was morty there morty was time traveling with alex dunphy a struggling candy store wants to get more kids to come in the shop and so nathan has the brilliant idea of hiring a van shuttle service that will drive around neighborhoods in their white van and pick up kids and bring them to the candy store i love that that makes a lot of sense i think that would work is that bad no i'm kidding oh okay no i think that's great um i was going for
Starting point is 01:41:03 like a pedophiles pick kids up with candy what what pedophiles do what wait did that not come across in my thing obviously that came okay an arena football team is struggling to sell tickets so nathan recommends that they advertise anytime the other team gets a personal foul free beers for the whole stadium then the team practice at their practices start spending most of the time just rehearsing discipline and not reacting when they get personally fouled so every time they practice getting like punched in the head and just like acting like it's cool it's basically become trained at not reacting so they never get personal fouls against them so they never have to think about the free beer that's just last chance you yeah i haven't seen that
Starting point is 01:41:48 oh that's basically the plot a mattress store comes out with a sex proof guarantee if you break your mattress or your bed frame during sex the mattress is free but to prevent people from cheating nathan has to be in the room with you while you're having sex so he knows that you actually broke it during just normal sex that's great that's awesome i can totally picture that i also had two more if you guys want to hear them but i do i do want to hear them um a vape shop runs a campaign that vaping is good for you by having high school track kids uh rip their vape after a big win on the podium and it has a shirt that says like portland smoke and vape helped me win this race um an old person's home that will tell uh the grandkids that their
Starting point is 01:42:40 grandparent only has a few days to live so that the grandkids will want to come visit their grandparents in the grant in the old person home and then once they leave they notify the family they've made a miraculous recovery so they can advertise that if you come stay here uh your grandkids will come visit you way more than any other old person home that's a really good one that is very good yeah uh all right should we do boat names that don't exist yeah yeah these are boat names that don't exist the incredible hole i like that fishing scam with i like that as well shell corporation with like a little like oh yeah ultimate lagooner i like it didn't feel like you liked it he doesn't like goon um bow to your sensei i like that
Starting point is 01:43:34 uh sail model like male model i like it land hose dirty shore sloopy seconds s s and then s s and there's like a snake logo on it so it's like s s s the s s s yeah i like that new from nespresso blend wellness into your coffee routine with the coffee plus range infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like Coffee Plus B12 to help support immune function and Coffee Plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose Ginseng Delight,
Starting point is 01:44:16 our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com. it's gonna take a lot do you want to do mailbag oh let's do mailbag mailbag three at a time mailbag making it rhyme mail bag three at a time i said mailbag three at a time why don't you open the box and i'll open this yep what's in the box okay who's this from we got this is from little field dan this is from little field danny little field danny this is from little
Starting point is 01:45:03 field danny and it is like the coolest like mahogany you're not mahogany the coolest like wooden box ever yeah and it says playdate on it oh what that's sick okay unbelievable what is it everybody's so creative all right and we got oh dear gas powered and toothbrush toothbrush i am a huge fan of the pod you guys rocks here's a cold one on me you guys deserve it love little field danzy ps boxes oak canarywood and paddock whoa beer is maple walnut and mahogany this paper was made by wonderful my wonderful and talented mom whoa my page my art page is at d.littlefield.works holy crap wait i think these are two different things yes they are oh okay he made us a beer out of wood i think this is so cool what what he made us a beer out of wood
Starting point is 01:46:06 i think they made a beer out of wood whoa that is sick that's awesome that's so sick dude whoa that was way too kind shout out littlefield dan z all right who gets the box who gets the beer i think we gotta put it in the box you gotta put the beer on the set yeah i guess it's gonna blend so sick dude thank you unbelievable that's awesome and look it's got look at this like the little airplane that's sick oh this is so cool you are so talented thank you so much and the paper was made by his mom yeah that's unreal how do you make paper mail it's probably a mill of like handmade paper yeah that's insane what a talented family gas powered toothbrush i like that all right i got brian king he sent us some dog stickers those
Starting point is 01:46:58 are sick oh dog with sunglasses and a sombrero and brian king says this is my best bud jefferson we lost him about a year ago r.i.p jefferson i know how you're feeling brian losing losing a dog is no fun these stickers are my silly way of keeping his memory alive hope they make y'all smile like he did they they they do he got he got those polarized ray bands on just sick um awesome even if y'all don't read my pitch enclosed at least you get some stickers of my handsome lad y'all be good or be good at it i like that and we'll read this pitch uh next episode yeah perfect uh i got declan mcsweeney hell of a name whoa ally oh let's go tuttleman philly shut up philly look at dude it's his dog and his
Starting point is 01:47:48 pleasure to have a class hat love it we'll put that right there that is oh um and then his dog is a puppy and his that is a gorgeous dog and he says dear paul dear paul george and john reserving the ringo spot for lauren and spirit uh big time playmate and penn state law student here go lions uh thanks for bringing me joy and so many laughs during law school in a time that has been very serious and difficult this pod makes me laugh every single week to willie d my lady brought me bought me wingspan for my birthday and i'm quickly becoming the greatest ornithophile bird enthusiast out there let's play some time it's on brother i'll kick your ass with my letter i've included some pictures of my sister jemma jemma's a 10 and a
Starting point is 01:48:39 half year old bernie's mountain dog i promise she is not an ai dog as you can see she's a playmate too and loves to borrow my pleasure to have in class hat jemma recently got sick but she always puts a smile on my face we're sorry to hear that i hope the picture did the same for you it really did it and it'll be up there for the rest of our time here uh tell jemma she rocks jemma you rock and wish me luck in my last year of law school good luck uh what is his name good luck declan um d mac d mac keep being yourselves it makes a lot more people happy than you know cheers declan ps i included some more pictures of jemma when she was a puppy and not elderly enjoy thank you so much for that dude that was fantastic i got this from i think ali tuddleman her mom
Starting point is 01:49:26 dm'd her this you need to go get this guy you need to go find this find this guy that's awesome ali tuddleman i feel like i went to a high school with her she's from philly oh never mind and she said she gave us a pitch so i can hold on to that one we'll pitch that with this but i like the art everyone's so talented it's doing stuff i wouldn't know how to build any i don't know how any of this stuff is happening drawing or everything you guys are great yeah this is fantastic all right should we do our sod our sod i just feel so bad can i run and pee it's gonna take they'll be done in two seconds i'm gonna do hawaiian roller coaster ride it's from the lilo and stitch soundtrack and it's been bringing me a lot of joy i hope it brings you some joy it
Starting point is 01:50:12 makes me feel i like to roll the windows down and drive around with it on come on you know how i'll be um all right guys have a fantastic rest of your wednesday have a great weekend and we will see you bright and early for our monday episode go follow rusty's songs of the day on spotify when we reach 10 000 followers two of you are getting 101 halfway there just dm me a photo after you've followed uh drop a like if you're uh hammered drop a liggity like if you're hammered i'll see you bye Thanks for watching!

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