Will & Rusty's Playdate - new producer just dropped
Episode Date: September 10, 2025On a very special but also viral Playdate, Willy and Rusty reveal that a new producer just dropped, Willy goes nonverbal at a party, and Rusty saves a group of people from rabid hornets. The gang disc...uss more Harry Potter lore and hear about one playmate’s pitch about dogs but for when you’re high. Plus, the boys draft Nathan For You plots that don’t exist and boat names that don’t exist. We then open mail from the Playmates and as always, we wrap up with Rusty’s song of the day. JOIN US IN SUPPORT OF BEST BUDDIES: https://www.bestbuddieschampion.org/maine/supporting/#willandrustysplaydate&donate/5363257/0 FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP OUR MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/ RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: Download Cash App Today: [https://click.cash.app/ui6m/ba1zl21n] #CashAppPartner Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today https://www.twistedtea.com/locations Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @MUDWTR with code PLAYDATE at mudwtr.com/PLAYDATE! #mudwtrpod SUBMIT YOUR BUSINESS PITCH HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdPHd7Ps9TaX-TOozyLhDpr9Y7pFNMP9PX7cHuLxap1R78GWg/viewform?usp=header SUBMIT YOUR AITA STORY HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdQElfqdQutn3dzl5HcZfey6YWhbVd-n6XE7FkpfosWZyYhyA/viewform?usp=sf_link 00:00 - Intro 8:41 - New Producer Reveal 15:01 - Rusty Goes Golfing 19:30 - Willy Gets A New Car 24:02 - The Summer I Turned Pretty 37:20 - Willy Got Too High 54:14 - Roadmap 1:03:19 - Pitches 1:23:16 - This Guy Rocks 1:30:24 - Teach Me Something 1:35:27 - Nathan For You Plots That Don’t Exist 1:40:00 - Boat Names That Don’t Exist 1:41:01 - Mailbag 1:46:29 - RSOTD #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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It's a Playdate episode 139.
Danny Woodhead.
I was going to say that as well.
Is that what he was?
Yeah.
So for context to the listeners,
Andrew just spent about 30 minutes dealing with tech issues.
Finally, and mostly related to the TV and our ability to Google stuff.
And no internet.
Just the moment.
I think he is that, though.
What the fuck is in my ear?
Okay.
Dude, I kind of want to show you this.
is like a new oh whoa it's not like a turd i don't think i would go i don't think that that
would be my first guess but it could be in my top five it wasn't earwax oh we got it already
yes is my earwax green now that would be kind of goaded i think it means you're eating you're
eating all your veggies uh i have a question for you okay yeah i don't know if you saw this
i pulled up instagram yesterday how long have you been jacked andrew posted a shirtless
and i were both like all right i did all right i'm not saying i'm not saying i thought under
your shirt was like what i have under my shirt but i didn't think it was like abs yeah yeah yeah
uh no i just photoshopped the same guys that you guys how long you've been looking like that
like yesterday i think it was the first day that i started
it took me a while so i'm curious about other brothers who went through this yeah they don't
uh give those golds jim sweatshirts you just i was like you go to gold yeah i do the one right
here yeah yeah same as uh jerry yeah yeah i see him there sometimes yeah and arnold and rfk yeah
yeah yeah rfk goes there too yeah which is not anymore not since he's been like you know busy
with the cdc stuff um but yeah half the time the videos i see out there i'm like i don't think that
equipment's there when i'm there like i feel like they just roll it out they roll it out for the big
guns yeah of him because he'll be like bench pressing outside i'm like there is no bench
press outside like maybe his boys like get bring it that's kind of maybe he shows up to the gym
just to kind of be one of you guys but he like brings his own equipment to the gym byoe well
good for you dude i hold the instagram up and i was like all right all right not that i didn't
already respect you but i was like i was thirsting bro i was barking at the phone barking there was
one time i like wore like a tight shirt i think out and like uh my friend was like oh i didn't
know you like looked like that and my girlfriend goes it's because he wears tent size clothing yeah
and i go yeah yeah i was like always wear like triple xls you gotta hide it you gotta give them
like a it's like a treat right right yeah i'm trying to start wearing clothes that fit better
because i had a similar situation flan and i were sitting there and she was like do you think she
wasn't trying to be mean but she was like do you think that shirt fits i was like yeah it's my
like i always wear shirts like this she was like maybe maybe three sizes too big so i'm starting
to try to buy larges i i like a big shirt i do too but edge like i was wearing a new shirt
that one no no i got a different new shirt nice what is it it's like a button down
whoa it's sort of like my venice beach bar one yeah like it's like a short sleeve button down
very breathable i got a deuce x machina you know that place no i don't know deuce x machina you've
probably driven past a hundred times it's on lincoln it has like a big sign where they put
like a quote or something deuce x deus the day sorry i didn't mean to come for deuce x machina
but you just x it's the craziest name of all time and you were like you know it yeah yeah that was
right there this that's not how you spell it at all it's oh oh oh it's like they sell more
motorcycle oh oh oh i do know that i told you you knew the place yeah what wait why did i hear
do they also have like coffee yeah okay that's how i know so i went there to get coffee and then
i'm getting coffee and i'm like whoa these shirts are kind of cool yeah and i end up out walking
out of this but it's not like a it's not like merch for a coffee shop like it's just like a
shirt like it has like a little logo but it's not really like a merch i don't remember where i heard
about that but i did i think billy has a jacket from them that's what it is like quinn would have
shit from them yeah when we used to roll with his crew yeah but so i started wearing i was wearing
a sweatshirt that fit the other day and edge i walked into edge's office and he goes are you
getting taller and i said no but how cool would that be if i was 24 and still growing yeah i think
it's just when you wear when you wear clothes that fit your body i don't look five four it's
like yes exactly yeah every time i meet a person in like when we do like the live show tour thing
yeah people everyone would be like well i thought you're gonna be way shorter yeah would you rather
be because yeah i don't know what that we've had that uh like bars too and people run into the two
of us i think they both think we're like five five we're both like six feet tall yeah you're
a little you're like six one maybe yeah um but we've had people i don't know if i would rather
have everyone think i'm short and then like the one guy i meet out think i'm tall or everyone
think i'm tall and then they see you out because if they thought we were like six four and then
they ran into us they'd be disappointed that thing is like it's more exciting the way we're doing it
i also like that we give off short king vibes is that i don't yeah because it means if we if people
thought we were really tall that would mean we're trying to be mr cool on the internet yeah you give
offshore king vibes like you would dominate like a region of the ocean coastal yeah yesterday um
you know what's big now is like those like crop top like cutoffs have you seen those like the
i can do that type of shit yeah yeah yeah the mine kind of i was like was it this kind of
yeah like the young la crop tops have you seen these my uh my sunshine shirt my workman's shirt
is cropped yeah that one's pretty cool yeah something like this yeah dude we told bill
billy was like i want one of your playdate shirts that we just made and i was like oh yeah i'll get
you one he was like i'm gonna crop it and then cut the sleeves off and i was like oh now i don't
want to get you one because that's not what it's i want him to that means like i don't care about
this shirt right he wants to keep the design but i want him to want to wear the shirt in public
he wants it like he's like oh that'd be a good like beater shirt for the gym
oh which shirt i wish this was pants i love that shirt it's the best show you know about do we ever
talk about uh jason schwartzman loves it yeah yeah you said that in the meeting but oh yeah i don't
know if i said on the pod yeah no you didn't look up jason schwartzman will angus did that viral
movie and he's in it too and the night before will left he was at my house we're playing board
games and he oh no way yeah he was like do you have one of those shirts i feel like it'd be a
a conversation starter so i gave him mine and then apparently like jason schwartz came up was
like that's the funniest shirt i've ever seen let's go and so we sent him two of them you still
claim that that was my idea i'm 90 sure you came up with really i'm i don't know what i believe
anymore but i will happily let's let's just say it was a joint effort yeah we came up you came
up with the first half i came up with the back half i wish i know i wish this was something else
oh wait can we tell them about the new shirt idea is that supposed to be a surprise the the band one
the text oh oh we were talking about so like this merch company we keep we work with keep sending
like it always feels like the text is like a little bit high and we always have to be like
make it like a little like this logo would be like up here and like every first draft i have
to be like can you just move the sweaters we got like i don't know i i think they look great
actually but um anyway we were talking about this and uh then i had an idea for a shirt and it's
it's it says right here i wish this text i wish this text was lower like it's like right on the
right on the collar it just says i wish that's hilarious i love that you guys should actually
do that you can make another one where it's at the bottom it says i wish this text was higher
but that one people probably wouldn't see as much yeah that's yeah or like on the back i wish this
was on the front yeah something i wish the text was on the yeah yeah um all right should we break
the news to andrew we got we have a big announcement which is as you know we've been
uh in the process of interviewing people for for the new playdate full-time producer role
and it we've talked to to the probably people listening that yep i've been among the people
we've interviewed we talked to a bunch of people it's been a really great uh to get to meet some
of you guys to those you aren't getting the job we love you and we appreciate you coming out and
giving it a shot but we found the person that we're gonna go with moving forward i don't know
if you know this yet but okay uh jack our new producer is andrew nelson let's go baby no way
are you serious let's go oh my god i thought i lost it after the debacle today i was trying to
act sad to keep it uh keep the i like couldn't look at you i was like felt mean i was like damn
you're gonna get this live reaction like right now yeah i was like okay you've been killing it
and uh and we appreciate the hard work that you've been doing you've been you've been the
best producer we've ever had wow second bet tied for best you're the best male producer we've ever
had you're the tallest producer we've ever had true and you know we just wanted to have you
be on full time because we love you and uh we're really enjoying this experience together oh that's
amazing thank you and for those of you guys who haven't seen too like what he's doing behind the
scenes he's working so hard putting on more clips than ever grinding coming up with new ideas
He sends us fun texts the night before
He sends us texts the night before
Reminder, play it tomorrow
You've earned it
You made a Rusty songs of the day thing
I did
You did it the right way, Andrew
You earned it the American way
You weren't even an option
And then you were so good that it was like
Oh, this is the only option
Thank you guys
That means a lot
I know the whole plan was to hire a woman
Now we can say that
to kind of keep the dynamic
so you have to wear a dress
or
it won't change much of my wardrobe
yeah
but we're so excited and Andrew
I'm excited to do
10,000 episodes of podcasting
we're going to do this for the rest of our lives
well he's going to quit in two years
also yeah so we are having Kenwood
write up a contract
it explicitly says if you leave
after two years to
uh move to a different beer company we will boy boy um is that why you asked for my birthday
on friday no that's another one which i'm very excited about what oh should i not ruin that
surprise no no this isn't a surprise at all so for the souls for sale t-shirt we did it was a band
fake grunge band t called souls for sale and now willie and i are working on a uh kind of
intergalactic reggae band called cosmic uprising you may have heard of them and the tour dates are
going to all be different planets across the galaxy yep and but with the souls for sale one
we hit all of our hometowns on our birthdays so like they'll be on mar or they'll be on like
some fake planet that i made up and then they like go to dallas on your birthday and then
oh nice go to charleston on september 11th but mine i just they're doing my birthday show on the
sun so you guys can change it if you want but that's what you want us to change it what is it
like you don't want to do you want us to come in and be like no we got to do yours too no it starts
so the way to like hit all of our birthdays in like a reasonable amount of stops it has to start
on my birthday and end on andrew's yeah and so if it's i want it to be clear that all the tour stops
are planets or suns or like different things in space.
So if the first one is just like Cape Elizabeth, Maine,
then people aren't going to read the other ones.
I like that line.
That's selfless.
Yeah, sort of.
You know, I dove on the sword.
I have a great story for you guys.
Would you like to hear it?
Is it going to scare me?
Like, honestly, maybe.
Do you know what's funny?
This looks like such a nightmare to clean up.
I was going to say, I was like,
I guess I have to clean this up.
all right later my problem now we'll do it we'll we'll help well i think that can we get like josh
or something we just i mean it's definitely not gonna be one of the three of us no we should
clean it up every time almost almost friday does this like three times a year no one touches it
yeah but i mean we need like i think we need like a vacuum we do be really hard to sweep
yeah it's back yeah
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and like like we always say cash app bring me my money cash app me let's get back into the episode
um so i'm so i i took a little summer thursday last thursday what's that mean i just stopped
working early oh yeah you don't have to come in i didn't come into the office and i was like you
know what i'm gonna i want to go golf so i went to the i went to my local par three and there was
a special olympics event happening there which was super cool how'd you play i actually played
i actually played really well which was cool because i ran into a playmate oh nice so a
playmate was helping with special olympics which was goaded to see and uh and he was like hey you
know i'm gray nice to meet you and we chatted for a second and then you know i played through
hit two awesome shots for the record so i would hope gray thinks i'm baller now yeah probably and
then i see like two groups ahead of me there's a guy like frantically warning the group behind him
about some like imminent danger on that hole that's weird and all i heard was like something
something golf club something something hornets something something that tree right there i was
like oh my god and so i relayed the information to gray and his group because he had like nine
people with special needs that i was like do not attend some what they'd attend some
there were a lot of there were a lot of and so i was just like you know just as a heads up
i don't want anyone to get stung don't go over there i'm thinking like lonzo ball comes out
from behind the tree like oh those hornets the hornets are there the hornets are doing a meet
and greet over there and uh it's like that's weird and then i go when i get to that hole
there's like a t-shirt on the ground or a golf shirt on the ground it's swarmed by hornets
so clearly like some guy like took his shirt off and like swatting that whatever
i didn't really get the full story and then gray dms me a video and uh basically what happened
they sent an email out to everyone that was involved the special olympics thing and they
were basically like one of our coaches uh went to swing the club flew out of his hand hit a
hornet's nest out of a tree a thousand hornets came out and stung him all over his body he he
posted the video on instagram and uh i don't know maybe we'll like blur his face but he posted this
so i guess yeah i definitely want to see this um this is the fucking craziest thing in the world
did you did you psych it to mr beer oh wait what who's mr beer he got psyched to mr beer did you
set up a new thing so you don't have to slide everything to brian that makes sense yeah see
this is the kind of stuff this is love and beyond okay wait before you ingenuity
also what if you were like oh yeah no i don't i don't want
actually stayed here till midnight every night
so before you play this the way just the way whoever wrote this email
cracks me up they're like they were like really painting a word picture instead of just being
like an accident happened whatever yeah they're telling it you didn't have to do this they're
telling it in like narrative form so he goes apparently upon swinging at the golf ball the
aid let go of the club as if it were a baseball bat as a result the club went flying through the
tree and hit a wasp's nest and then it talks about how he got stung a hundred plus times and then
this is oh my god this is the video look at his oh this is oh it's like viral this is the guy you
were there yeah he got stung like a hundred times on his back and like apparently on his feet too
because they were like taking his shoes off really slowly i mean what a fucking nightmare
they're picking them out of his hair i got his credit card yeah i like that they're they like
had to get payment first whoa isn't that horrible that is like the worst oh my cousin michael uh
oh was rolling around this is really this is the guy that was right in front of you that's what
gray sent me i mean i believe you that's just like insane that it's like i know already like
a viral moment dude you were at a viral moment i didn't witness it yeah but you were there i was
there but i tiptoed like up past the hornets and like still hit my because i paid for the round i
wanted to get that and uh oh my god i uh i thought there was gonna be a video of him like hitting
hey guys rusty and i are supporting an awesome organization uh in maine called best buddies
that uh you know helps people with intellectual and developmental disabilities and partners them
with people in their community that can be their friends show them how to learn important life
skills and uh do a bunch of really cool stuff uh we would love if you could help us we are
champion candidates this year which means we are competing head to head with like eight other
people that are fundraising and we want to kick their butts we're a barium we want to raise so
much freaking money it hurts uh but it's a really special organization means a lot to us my uncle
kevin has benefited a lot from their work as has rusty's friend peter uh so if you could make a
donation we would absolutely appreciate it scan the scan this QR code right on my palm or click
the link in the description and uh help us out if if if you don't want to help us out help out
someone else click out there help us but yeah but click their link and uh anyone you can donate it's
a fantastic cause and we would really appreciate it I will say this speaking of viral I have another
big announcement i'm buying the viral car today let's go what do you get uh 2025 nissan rogue
so we so we were gonna have to beat him off with a stick yeah i'm gonna beat you off of the stick
um we gonna so we were like we were gonna buy a 2011 you and scott for cash i mean me and my
remit scott are buying a car together which is kind of cute yeah i didn't it really didn't occur
me as being bizarre but every time i've said to someone like what i mean it's i i think without
context of like how close you two are yeah that's it would seem like it's like a it would not be a
good financial decision you're right if you were not positive that this is someone who's going to
be like in your life that is true so we're going to buy this car for cash from our friend 2011 and
then we got hit up about an opportunity like on like thursday or friday that like our friend's
friend is moving to paris and has a lease and needs someone to take over the lease and is leaving
for paris tomorrow so it's like they need immediately to get someone to take over this
lease and they're willing to pay they're gonna give us i think like two grand just like up front
to like help cover the just like as like an incentive so it's but and the down payments
aren't even paid not so it's we just have to take over the monthly payment and uh yeah let's start
and we're getting scott's going to get it today so i'm gonna have a car wow which is like it's
been a whirlwind dude andrew and i were talking about this on the way in this whole get ready
for this get ready with me get ready with me for this because this is gonna suck the or maybe this
is a unique experience my lease and my uh insurance no matter how many times i confirm that it's on
auto pay yeah they will just call me and be like yeah yeah your thing didn't work like it didn't
did i tell you they called the woman called me like the day i got back from maine i did turn
this with this was this was irresponsible but when i went on vacation i wanted to totally unplug
so i turned off like email notifications i turned off like everything yeah yeah uh they one of the
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there's like coffee grounds in the bottom nice yeah okay um and they called me the day i got
back and they were like hi is this john and i was like yeah and they're like hi we just canceled
your car insurance and i was like what why and they were like uh we couldn't get the payment
to go through and we couldn't get ahold of you it was like oh my god really why didn't you like
this is the first call you've made and they were like i know we were sending emails
that's kind of whack okay yeah and then i was like so what do i do now she was like you just
have to like reapply and i was like oh okay and was nice to her and then she called me back and
was like hey actually i gave you bad information i could just set you up right now so i think like
if i had done what i normally would do which would have been like berate her over the phone
they wouldn't have that's the default when yeah when i do i'm getting really i because i've been
dealing with my landlord a lot i'm getting really into screaming at people on the phone
Something shifts when you turn 25, I think.
Yeah, I know.
Or 24.
24, yeah.
Hold on.
I just want to yell.
Yeah, I want to yell.
Oh, speaking of turning 25, when this episode comes out, my birthday is tomorrow.
My silver jubilee.
Yes.
Wait, this episode comes out on 9-11?
9-10.
9-10.
We'll never forget your birthday.
I'm going to pour my drink.
When you were talking about your friend dipping out to Paris, I had a friend recently.
I don't know her.
Oh.
So, okay.
so just scrap your also i just want to say one more thing and then i'm done and then i want to
hear this okay i found out this is why i said the viral car because i found out the person i'm
getting it from has a million followers on instagram nice that's what scott told me so
this car was like pretty like we're responsible of them to to to stick with like a like a low
lease payment when they have a million followers yeah i mean it's like the i guess it's like the
wait what it's like the car wait you think the car's like shit
i'm a baller i'm saying when you get a million followers on tiktok probably soon it's gonna be
it's gonna be ferraris it's gonna be rolls royces it's gonna be bentley's
2025 nissan rogue so what are you gonna name it crank
crump okay anyway in paris i had a friend recently this reminded me of it that like
just called off her wedding day of flew to paris no one's heard from her since whoa
yeah isn't that insane top five moments that made me say oh fuck yeah top five wedding respect
moments top five wedding bail moments with the day of her wedding day of her wedding she got in
like a big fight with like her like gonna be husband i guess fiance at the time he dipped
for a while they couldn't find him for like a second how old are these people do 22 yeah too
young too young and that's what everyone was saying they dodged a fucking bullet yeah everyone
was like you are too young to be getting married but they're like no we love each other the whole
reason he proposed was because he cheated on her and he was like trying to get back with her well
that is the that is they say not to propose for any other reason other than getting yourself out
of the current predicament that you're in exactly so if you find yourself in some murky waters just
propose your way out of it yeah i got till december to get married so you're getting married
this is true yeah we got another edit of us really yeah oh so maybe we you know maybe you
should have froze if you if you propose for tax reasons i would say no i'll do it for the pot
that clip clips clips clips you don't clips i know clips um wait i want to hear more about this
so are these your friends yeah she was like a girl i knew in high school and they were gonna
they were they were two years younger than us and they were gonna get married he the only reason
they were getting married is because he cheated on her and she said yes still did she know that
he cheated on her yeah they were like she was willing they were like broken up as like oh what
they were like broken up and then he like proposed because her brother had just gotten in like a car
accident and so he like showed up to the hospital and was like how do i make all how do i make your
brother's car crash about me exactly broke through spikes on the on the road yeah yeah
can i ask you a question yeah do you know this guy uh which guy the guy that proposed uh yeah
kind of did he went to high school with you too yeah did he watch entourage uh i don't think so
because there is an episode of entourage where they're driving down the road and they're in a
huge fight and then he they're like not together and then he just proposes and she's and that
fixes it yeah and the tree says yes so maybe he saw that and was like oh yeah so he went to her
brother's hospital room and proposed in front of her dying brother no like not in front like
outside the hospital oh my god yeah wow and it with like the tiniest ring ever well yeah i mean
it's probably you probably stopped on the way there let me see if i can find a picture of the
ring because it's like it is like i feel bad i mean definitely is this definitely name of the
person yeah definitely her name is belly you guys just got somewhere i turned pretty fuck god damn
it i knew it i actually fucking i because i've been watching this show but i didn't get to see
this i started you fucking well done andrew i was like you can't google her name is belly
conklin yep that's i was like that's the craziest name i've ever seen damn we just got we just got
t-s-i-t-p
we got to sip we just got tipped
we just got tipped well done
Andrew see this is our
investment in Andrew's already paying off he just
he just created a clip out of thin air
I was so scared you guys were gonna move away from it
I was like no no I gotta I gotta google
it I gotta google it well done
Andrew and so that's what happens in the
show and that's what happens in the show and then he
actually he actually leaves
wait so
Conrad got
in a car crash in the show uh no belly's brother so that was steven so i've been watching this show
will with flan like i'll just when i'm over not well enough so well no but i like i'm i've only
probably seen like two episodes because she doesn't wait for me it's uh it's like some of
the worst acting a hundred percent in the world i think it's on purpose you know like soap operas
are like it's almost like that uh feels like a hallmark it does feel like a hallmark but there
i was watching this one episode and they just the girls just start doing a tiktok dance like
in the middle of it have you seen that one yet andrew it's a fucking seen all of the show yeah
oh yeah i'm 100 caught up it comes out once a week it's pretty good but but it's your girlfriend
doesn't live here i just wanted that on the record correct is that correct but we have to
talk about it after the show so we got to talk about on wednesday night do you so you enjoy it
i yeah no i mean i like yeah i watch all like outer banks and i feel like that's like the same
vibe yeah this is a similar vibe but even more yeah whatever so willie to catch you up to speed
here he that guy cheated on her well yeah andrew just said that and then she's in love with his
older brother oh and on their wedding day the brother or the night the night of the bachelor
the joint batch party uh conrad tells her that he's in love with her and she's so clearly in
love with him too but then she tells him that she never loved him and she is going to marry
the brother and then they how do they run away they run away she ends up she ends up telling
the brother that she's gonna marry she's like hey conrad came to me express his feelings
and like we talked about it i just want to let you know before we get married tomorrow
he gets all upset about it is like missing the morning of the wedding they can't find him he
ends up showing up and he's like i can tell you're still in love with him too like we can't
in good faith like have this wedding right and then she gets a flight to paris so can i ask you
question where is it because it's it's cousin's island right that's a place in maine wait what
that's like your thing you pitched like a hundred times no no that's cousin island cousins have you
heard about my pitch for cousins cousin island have you talked about in the pod reality show
like eight times cousin island is basically you put a bunch of hot steaming sexy singles in one
house here's the catch each person has one like distant cousin that they don't know about and if
you accidentally hook up with your cousin you're off that was kind of a show that netflix did no
actually yeah have you heard siblings are dating or something like that netflix did that netflix
did a show where like they would bring you on with your sibling and then you would date like
other pairs of siblings and it was like really odd but like a bunch of those people go to my gym
so like i've seen like the whole show and then i see those guys and i'm like
you're from that sibling show i would not do that with my sibling the best there's a really funny
clip because that is like our like it started with that instagram account that's great siblings
are dating yeah but like they did a there have been like jubilee style youtube videos on it and
there was one where uh where they're like the big reveal they're like we are and and the brother
or the guy um drums on the girl's ass as like a like a drum roll then they go siblings and
everyone's like oh what i knew this girl in high school or no it was middle school who was like
dude i love hiding in my brother's closet when he's in the shower and then when he comes in the
room gets naked i pop out and scare him and we're like what we're like you like spying on your
brother from his closet when he's naked she was like oh yeah it's like funny really that's really
weird yeah it's not funny i wouldn't do that i'm gonna say you're a good guy well hey you guys can
cancel me if you want i wouldn't do that i mean listen i'm not gonna do that to my brother
so what i'm not gonna do that did you guys tell her like that's incestuous and weird uh i think
we're in middle school and we're non-confrontational and so we're like maybe it's maybe it's fine
yeah yeah clearly she's not trying to bang him but i don't know if that is clear there
is something about like somewhere i stopped shitting good blood yeah how long were you
brewing on that one i took about an hour andrew i saw my favorite tweet of all time that i've
been telling really about no what when you lay in on her stomach and you hear daduki brewing
best tweet of all time um i'm awesome i don't have to shut this down on her stomach when you
hear the dookie brewing i saw did you see those uh like at the jaguars or dolphins game whatever
they had some like pop warner team come out you know sometimes they'll play a game the mascot
yard line and these like seven-year-old florida kids scored a touchdown and then all just started
like humping the ground and they had to like run around and pick all of them because that is like
a celebration all these kids do like google like florida jits uh jits j i that's what they call
like i don't know it sounds like a slur it does sound like that's what's in the video then i
thought you were gonna google florida seven-year-olds humping i do think that's florida slang
though wait i actually have it is maybe i can't say that but is that a bad word i don't know i
don't think so yeah but it is this like dance oh okay they like they all like get on the ground
to start like humping and like the nfl people had to run around and like quickly pick them up
because it was like in on like national television he made a bunch of videos on this this is the same
guy yeah pray for these kids yeah he's talking about it i don't like him um yeah i don't know
Let's just talk about something else.
What else is going on?
What did you get up to this weekend?
This weekend, I...
You didn't come to the BC game.
I did not come to the BC game, and I felt bad about that.
It's okay.
Where were they playing?
Venice Beach Bar.
Venice Beach Bar.
Now that you're the official Playdate producer, you're going to have to start coming, but
Venice Beach Bar is the official...
I know Lauren went all the time.
...BC bar.
We actually had a decent crew.
We had like 15 people.
Wow.
Lauren texted me.
i don't know how lauren found out i was not gonna go because i hadn't even made up my mind yet
um but it looked like you guys had a good crew yeah we do and i'm gonna be there next saturday
was lauren there yeah yeah lauren and me again um but i will uh i'll make an effort to be there
next saturday i just hit it too i hit it a little too hard on friday night i ran into footy's cousin
footy's cousin yeah okay and uh we were sitting down i was already i'd already tied one on a
little bit and i sat down at the bar and uh this is something i need to work on every time i'm with
a buddy who is single and out on the prowl yeah even if they don't want to be introduced to girls
i keep doing it and so we were trying we were waiting for drinks and i tapped a girl on the
shoulder and i said my friend blank my friend joe wants to meet you and then they seemed like they
were hitting it off and then i i always leave my keys at his house so i had to get in the morning
and his bedroom door is the only door that's unlocked to get into their house and i walked in
and he was upside down in his bed again surrounded by um like takeout boxes so i would say he probably
probably did not yeah probably did not take that young lady home which is good but i think they
may go on a date soon or something that's good so you can be like a matchmaker to be like some
sort of matchmaker but i uh yeah i got a little excited at at gran blanco we went to we went to
townhouse and yeah at like seven o'clock and the bouncer i was wearing what i'm wearing now and he
was like how long are you gonna be here and joe and i were like i don't know an hour or so he was
like all right he can't be in here and flip-flops after eight we're like okay we'll be out by eight
and then i it was like 8 15 and i left and i left my uh credit card in there so i came back
and the guy was like no no absolutely not and i was like my credit card's in there i'll be right
back he was like all right and so i like hustled in and grabbed my credit card he was like i don't
want to see you for the rest of the night that's funny they hate they they haters for real
i'm saying that for real the other night i walked into a bar and i like stumbled as soon as i got in
and the manager was like right there and he just looked at me and i went and i turned around i
started leaving yeah it's like dude you can't you can't just like stumble in like did i ever tell
you what the bouncer said to teep or uh it was either me and redmond or me and teeper we're in
boston and we went to get we went to we tried to go to like one more bar oh yeah and uh we walked
up and the bouncer was like dude i could let you in but there's literally no there's no bartender
that is employed here that will serve you it's like all right cool just top five respect and
he just walked into traffic balda top five bar respect moments i had i was on dude i was on fire
on on saturday after the game went out i was at this like i was i was with a chica and i was at
this house warming that she had invited me to and i didn't really know anyone there and uh you know
i think i was being cash and then i hit someone was like hitting the dab pen and was like you
want to hit that and i was like hell yeah like i'm a guy i'm the money guy and i hit the dab pen
and i literally like instantly went oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck called an uber was like i was like
told her i was like we gotta go right now i'll add a stop at your house like i and then i just
got in the uber and just could not talk for and i didn't say a single word and uh got out passed
out my bed fully clothed woke up the next morning i was like what the fuck yeah i was like was i
weird and she's like yeah i don't i don't know what that was you just was i weird talking yeah
dude yeah you were halfway through the party just stopped talking called an uber and left
like that that's like that video i have a group chat with that liam and his little brother that
we said memes into and yes and i sent one of this guy who was so high that he thought he was frozen
Have you seen that video?
No.
I was paralyzed.
I was paralyzed.
I was just paralyzed.
I swear to God.
I swear to God.
I was just paralyzed.
This is not good.
This is not good.
I called the ambulance.
I was just paralyzed.
I was just paralyzed.
I was just paralyzed.
This is me on Saturday.
In front of a girl?
It was a pretty all-time bad showing.
I was like, oh, no.
So I sent that video.
We've all been there.
I sent that video to Liam and Sean Culla, and Liam said he had a buddy in high school that had a similar experience where they were smoking.
It was his first time smoking, and he fell to his knees, put his head in his hands, and started screaming, make it stop.
For like 20 minutes, and they were like, oh my god, we're never smoking with this guy again.
Wait, so I have a question for you.
It was a nightmare blunt rotation.
I was like, nightmare what?
When you wake up – because usually, like, my anxieties about the night before are completely alcohol-related.
It's only alcohol.
Correct.
Does anxiety, like, feel the same way if you acted really weird about weed?
It felt – I mean, it was like – I know I didn't, like, do anything crazy.
I just knew that I remembered not being able to talk, like, in the Uber.
And also, it was like a – it was just like a funny – yeah, I don't know.
like like yeah yeah the poor girl like i don't maybe like we would have like gone home together
but i just like added a stop and didn't say anything and did you say bye at least i don't
know i don't know i don't think so i like also hammer i like thought i was gonna like i was
drunk yes i was drunk yeah you know what you know it's a good move it hit me my friend natty in high
school uh right we kind of discovered weed before alcohol like i think many people did and so when
we started when our friend group started drinking we had already been smoking a little bit and the
first time we drank well after we had smoked he uh someone was driving us to like a party or
something and he turned down the music and he goes i am cross-faded and we're all like get out
get out of the fucking car right now yeah i mean i i think i yeah like we if i'm drunk i can't like
weed isn't gonna unless i'm going to bed the only the only time i do weed after uh after drinking
is like an edible when i know i'm gonna be in bed when i'm already like home yeah i don't know i i
just thought i was i think i was it was like a 2016 themed party which is just my favorite kind
of music and i was dancing i was like they were playing like tonight tonight there's a party on
the rooftop top of the world tonight that's not 2016 yeah it is totally right what maybe earlier
that is like 2010 well they played they played that song they just they didn't have it they
didn't totally have a grasp on the hot show right 2011 2011 wow well yeah but it took a few years to
kind of get that radio play uh they were playing all hot chili ray all night you know what's
what's got to be interesting is um is like being high and it's not like if you were like an 80s
theme party and you were really high you you could be like oh this is an 80s theme party but if you
were high enough and everyone's dressed like 2016 and there's 2016 music it would maybe be subtle
enough that if you didn't know the theme of the party you'd be like what the fuck is going on
we didn't know the theme of the party because we showed up and they were like it's 2016 but it is
kind of like everyone's in like roshi runs yeah i didn't really know what yeah i was wearing jeans
i was on my horse shirt my new horse there's like a corner playing pokemon go yeah someone comes up
to you they're like killer costume yeah we had a kid that got so high in high school one time that
we just had to like weaken at bernie sims for the rest of the night like he was like dead for the
whole night but we're like we have like three parties we gotta hit so we would just like carry
him like everywhere we went he'd just like hang over us and like we'd carry him from like one
party and we'd hang out there set him up on a couch yeah yeah he would literally be like asleep
on the couch and then like we'd be the hit the next spot we'd be all right and then like luckily
he was like four feet tall which is why i think he like greened out he was so small but we like
throw him in the back seat of the car we go to the next party like green out or whatever and then
finally like i remember the morning of my buddy and i woke up and he was like on the couch or
whatever um and my buddy was like i can't believe we killed the kid last night and i was like still
kind of like high that morning i was like we didn't actually kill him right like he's not
actually dead he's like nah he's just like sleeping downstairs and as i was like pulling
out of the house and leaving i saw the mom like pulling in and the kid was still like greened out
on their couch and i was like good luck with that that's very funny we had a we had a uh a group we
a neighbor wow why can i not phrase a group of neighbors a neighborhood
yeah my time was weird in my town we had a group like my we all had different groups of neighbors
one of my best buddies had like three older brothers and they were like the coolest guys
and so we're whenever we were at their house you wanted like the older brothers to think that you
were really cool 100 and we brought my buddies my other buddy to this house and uh we hit the
older brother's bong and there's i have a video on my snapchat of uh he could not stop like coughing
and in the background and like now if someone's like coughing we're just like oh it's like just
a part of what we're doing it's not a big deal my friend who it's his house is screaming at the kid
coughing uh he's like dude my brother's here stop coughing so much that was embarrassing i remember
like the first time yeah i didn't know i did the bong the first time no one taught me i thought
you like blow yeah have you ever seen that video when he just shoots the water out there's a kid
standing across the room with another bong and you shoot the weed out and it lands in his bong
and then he like that's i just think i'm the coolest person ever or like did you ever like
wu-tang a blunt yeah in high school i just eat it i was just like wu-tang and i would just start
chomping on it and people were like no you're not you're supposed to like suck it in uh i came back
to my house when i was like a junior in high school i just moved into my like the big bedroom
at our house you know when your older sibling moves out and you get to like take over there
oh i got a story about that do you yeah uh well i'm excited to hear it it's gonna be great
great for the podcast and uh and so i just moved in i was like stoked it got everything set up
came back and uh tried to go to bed was like spinning around the room and just leaned over
my bed and like vomited right next to my uh bedside table and instead of like owning up to
it and like and like telling someone and like that i needed to clean it the next day i tried like
my best to do it just with like paper towels or whatever but like it didn't smell very good
winter was just around the corner was kind of the end of fall and i was like you know what i'll just
open the windows and like this will air out over the next couple weeks i had my windows open like
the entire winter because if you closed them the smell would like come back and my dad like would
come into my room and be like why are the wit like we're heating the house right now why are
your windows open and i was like i just i can't sleep unless it's freezing cold in here and it's
like all right all right that's a sir man you can admit that you'd what if you just got well like
i'm sick no yeah i wouldn't what if you puked on it got sick got yourself sick and puked on the
same spot cover your tracks that would have pulled trig on the same spot like on day when you've been
with your parents and they know you weren't drinking or smoking i threw up what was your
story i grew up uh my story was that my i did i i had bunk beds with my brother my whole childhood
yep and he's six and a half years older than me so he leaves for college i got plenty of time
i got six and a half years still in a slept in a bunk bed for six and a half years and uh the
moment i go to college my parents have an exchange student from slovenia staying with them that year
and they completely redo the bedroom give him like a nice queen bed and like all this shit i
come back for christmas freshman year college i'm like what the fuck um so renee did you sleep when
he was there i had slept in like our guest room like they got rid of my bedroom whoa i don't have
like a bed well and then they move so now i don't have a bedroom you don't have a bedroom like at
your parents main house i mean i have a room that i like usually sleep in but i like the other one
better if my brother's not there so but i don't have like i don't have like stuff in it or
anything what you share a room with your brother no i when he's there he gets the better room
because he's older i guess but then if it's just me i sleep in that wait why don't they just why
don't you just be like this one's mine this one's sam's because i want anytime sam's not there i
want the one that he's interesting because there's one with a queen or king and one with two twins
and so if we're a whole family's there i'm delegated to the twins but interesting yeah
where did all your childhood stuff go i have like two boxes in my basement which don't they say is
like they're like too much you still have those two boxes in our basement well you i'm like i
don't even have like that's all the stuff i own yeah that's crazy it's mostly just like my records
i've thrown out almost everything really you're not sad about that i was at first but i've started
it's kind of awesome yeah just dumping i just did it again recently i just got rid of like so many
just donated like half my fucking closet i have a trash bag like one of the industrial size black
ones that i have to take to goodwill because my closet was getting yeah i felt like bad about it
i was just like i literally my rule was trying i was trying to do like if i haven't worn it in the
last year it's going in this bag but then there's like a lot of cool shit where i'm like i just
didn't get around to wearing that last year that's maybe maybe this year i think you just have to be
honest with yourself you're like if i haven't worn it in a year i'm not gonna fucking wear it
there were like there was a pair of like linen pants where i was like i you never know i was
like no i'm not if i get invited to a linen i'm never gonna i'm never gonna get invited to like
the white party uh how about that 2016 party but i i still i someone out there unless i'm just as
bad unless i'm just really bad at like keeping track of my stuff someone is stealing my t-shirts
because i no one's stealing your t-shirt think about how many t-shirts i used to own
and now i have like 10 oh yeah you're right actually someone might be stealing your t-shirts
holy shit cold cases well what about what about flight oh cold cases she has her own drawer in
my dresser that is that is of your things that she wears or her things a combination of the two
um but i would know if it was at her house too like here's how i know it is the hotel room thing
that we always talk about like lucas walked in the other day just in one of my favorite shirts
yeah i was like what which one it was the broke never cheap one and he was like yeah you left it
in the hotel room and i was like okay that's fair because i guess i would have left it there yeah
but then i had to trade him i had to trade him one of my shirt one of my other shirts that i
own to get that one back wasn't it our merch yeah it was it was it was it was the misprint
god is a playmate show that's funny so it's like the god is a playmate thing but it's like sideways
twist it up with twisted tea that's the slogan i just made up for them twisted tea is the the goat
uh the goat beverage it's goaded i would like to say it's sort of goaded no i love here's what i
love about twisty real tea taste real there's no bubbles so you can crush them i was uh on the
beach on saturday and i was playing die which is a little cringe i guess no but it's really fun
and uh guess what i was drinking guess what i was pulling in my cup twee twee we're drinking
twee twee on the beach i mean that's like that's like baseball in america that's like apple pie
and hot dogs like that's yeah you can't there's no better combo i can i give you can i give you
a little pro tip hit me this is what i've been doing go into the kitchen get yourself an iced
glass put a glass in the freezer fill it up with ice yeah twisted tea in there sit on the couch
i i probably didn't leave my couch all day i was just watching football twee ended up and i had
probably i'd probably the best day anyone's ever had if you don't if you ain't rocking with the
tweet then you ain't rocking with me come on that's their new saying that i just came up with
again keep it twisted y'all uh i like the arnold palmer one by the way i do too i'm a half and
half guy but you know i go peach i go original i go whatever i like to reach into the box and
just whatever i pull out that's what i'm that's what i'm drinking whatever it takes uh guys go
anywhere you get your twee which is pretty much anywhere in the world if they don't sell tweet
they ain't a real store that's what i that's their new slogan amen uh grab a refreshing
twisted tea today let's get back into the episode come on baby if you want to cut through that
morning brain fog start your day the only way to know the way that you should do it that's mud
water you hear it all about mushrooms and how they're cool now and everyone's doing them and
there's like cool kinds and i don't know what any of that shit means but i figured out that
mud water gets it right yeah this stuff you put i make a little like i can make a little latte out
of it it comes with a frother if you get like the kit yep make a little latte with my mud water
it's you know you don't get the jitters that you get from caffeine sometimes but you get all the
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cheetah come on uh you know i as i've talked a little bit about i've been getting into reading
yes curl up with a nice mud water and your kindle oh my lord maybe it's even foggy outside maybe a
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please mud water put that mud in my water come on let's get back into the episode all right
roadmap time luke combs is like um what's next like tom tom brush brush oh i saw luke combs
i got a few good names luke combs what's next ryan brush that's free for any tech talkers out
there that would like to do that and we just gave you a gold clip uh i have a question yeah a thing
to say i saw two great names yesterday okay walking around town keep my eye out for good names
joe king is a realtor i was like how would you ever trust a deal if you rented a place from
it's like for lease joking i was like so is it even really i almost made my fantasy team name
by the way the thing that you your idea right you're playing no like everyone would think that
year um everyone would think that they don't have a game that week right right oh my dude i'm
fucking i've been it's like bad like i i should just stop now but i've been gambling you've been
gamble not gamble max that sounds like i'm gambling a ton i've been hitting at an unbelievable clip
for the last three weeks if you've learned anything from like time in an actual casino
know this is your time to double down i was gonna say stop right no i think i think you're right i
think i've won a lot of money i think my dad got bit by the gambling bug because he called me on
sunday and he he was like a guy a guy in his golf group approached him and was like hey you know
let's bet let's bet dinner on the on the cats game because my dad's a big uk fan and uh and my dad
he might add like uk uh plus nine or whatever and it hit on that last field goal with like
two seconds left and so i think he experienced like the rush of like oh my god now he's hooked
i told him i told him not to do it but i think he might be hooked i yeah does he not gamble when he
golfs he plays like they have a what's the they have like a name for it but it never results
i think the worst it could be is like 18 bucks skins no he plays skins i think in like the big
league but uh in his like regular group they have some game that basically comes out to just like a
dollar roll so like they like and they're all around the same skill level so he's the he's
like the most he's ever lost is like five bucks yeah um all right we have a beautiful episode for
you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches followed by
followed by this guy rocks yeah there it is what do you guys think about um pre-recording i saw
that sky rock i would like to if we're gonna do it if anyone out there's like a like a music
producer i would like to really do it take it seriously out of paper out of stock
there's friendly faces around the block called michael and stanley remember that yeah i thought
oh wait before we get into this i tried to watch the paper oh i heard the opposite i heard it's
really good oh i thought the first 20 minutes of the first episode was pretty grim i couldn't
It's grim.
It was just like, damn it.
I just started feeling sad.
I feel sad for Oscar.
Why is he doing it?
Oh, Oscar's in it?
Yeah, it's like they probably asked everyone, and he was the only one desperate enough.
Or maybe he just wanted to do it.
You're right.
But it made me sad.
I could not shake this deep sadness I felt while watching it.
It was like they were trying to capture lightning in a bottle twice, and lightning never strikes twice in a bottle.
lightning is only able you can only capture lightning in a bottle once it was just like
because it's all shot the same way it starts with bob vance is in it oh really opening scene is like
bob vance yeah isn't the new isn't dunder mifflin now like a laser removal or like yeah where that
place was but then they i don't know it is like two copy because like the nice thing about like
the office to parks and rec was like they kind of had their own spin but the paper just truly feels
like the walmart brand office and i'm gonna go into it with an open mind i heard i i think
sometimes but i don't think it's bad honestly i don't think it's you watched yeah i watched the
first two episodes and i think i think the the office i felt the same way starting out it was
like kind of made me sad didn't really think it was that funny and then like as they build out
the characters you start to like enjoy it more so yeah maybe i just i i don't think i gave it
enough of a shot i was yeah i'll give it i'm gonna give it i was so on edge like literally
and during the opening credits like fuck fuck fuck this sucks i'm gonna be so sad but the
theme song like is similar so similar and oscar's in it and you know the camera is it about a
newspaper yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna go into it with an open mind because i think there's a world
where i like it i believe i believe and then we are gonna do teach me something and then willie
And now we're going to do Nathan For You episodes that don't exist.
Yep.
Followed by boat names that don't exist.
I'm very excited for these.
And then we'll end with Rusty's songs of the day.
I didn't do very well on the boat names, I don't think.
Oh, I more meant the Nathan one than I'm excited for.
Oh, okay.
But I'm excited for all of them.
I'm excited just to be with you guys sharing this moment.
A special episode for Andrew.
A special episode for you.
A special episode for me.
Andrew, do you want to...
Guys, I needed this.
Do you want to?
Well, that's why we did it.
We were worried that you would, if we didn't, you know, we were worried about.
Which is true.
I have the noose ready.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You kind of forced our hand.
Yeah.
You know what?
Now that you already have the job, we might as well tell the playmates, Andrew threatened
us with all three of our lives.
Andrew found our sex tape.
Yeah.
And we have no choice.
Notice it was singular.
You didn't find our sex tapes.
Correct.
Found our sex tapes.
I just found one of them.
Yeah.
what if if there was a video of you having sex could would that be enough to extort you to do
like anything it would be because it's it shouldn't look like that right are you good at it you asked
me this last i know i last episode i want to stop i want an answer idea probably not are you good at
sex andrew stop it um you want to have sex and find out now i'm curious we didn't have sex and
You can decide for me.
You can't ask every episode if everyone else on the podcast is good at sex.
Fucking, are you good at sex?
Try and stop me.
Uh, no.
You said last week that you think you're finally getting to the point where you could call it sex.
Yeah, that doesn't mean I'm good at it.
I know, I'm just saying you already answered this question.
Okay.
Hear that?
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why don't you fucking pitch us all right oh no andrew actually this is what i meant to ask coffee
i want more now that you officially have the job is there anything you would like to say to the
playmates yeah i'm gonna get a lot more women on nice we're gonna we're gonna get some guests
we've had a guest on in a fucking minute i think billy's gonna come on after his jaw surgery
through the wire to the window
um and then also i'm gonna get lauren on as a guest good luck she's a tough get yeah
are we bringing her back let's see oh i could cut that no i'm joking i was like i was like
rusty does not like no i do want her back okay um that'd be great yeah i'd love to get some more
estrogen in here i hate that i said that yeah you should have said like uh cut that andrew
okay uh hello peter
bjorn bjorn bjorn and john who is that where are these people uh peter bjorn and john
what is the worst part about driving by a billion cop cars on the street or at a business
did you want to know what is happening but you can't tell you're reading it oh i actually wasn't
i was really looking at bjorn and john thing but is that what it says i would have said i would
have also said uh i would have also said you would like to know yeah what is going on in there uh my
my nosy ass wants to know what crime my nosy ass want to get up in there all right you guys are
reading this okay introducing the nosy nelly oh i didn't know i swear to god i didn't read that
uh this is a pay what you can donation service that will donate your money to whatever party
involved that got that got the short end of the stick in the situation in exchange for you to
getting to know the entire lowdown of what went down at the local grocery store slash neighbor's
side of the road it will deliver you a full report of what went down at the situation and provide you
live updates as the story develops if there is no party involved that really deserves the money it
will go to a local animal shelter or girl scout troop the nosy nelly 3000 allows you to know all
the deets of the local drama that wouldn't otherwise become public while giving to someone
who deserves it and putting the bad guys on blast if it is sensitive information the identifiers
of those affected can remain confidential sorry if this is highly unethical keep up the great work
team sydney no it's yeah it's she she she she got it got it uh great towards the end there it's it's
only like funny crimes it's not like i don't want to hear about murders or anything like that but i
also like that you're donating to the affected party too so it's like right yeah mutually
beneficial i would want to what you drive by or you see like you see like your mom pulled over
or something and then above it it's just like flashing like she got in trouble for like flashing
other motorists or something oh motor like you found out about something that your mom was oh
like you paid and then you found out your mom was flashing other motorists that's what you
that's where your mind went you think your mom would be flashing the fact that i didn't even
get like an uh crack of a smile out of andrew made me want like literally made me want to never
Never do the podcast.
No, I thought you were saying, like, flashing.
Like, there was, like, a flashing sign.
Yeah, I got lost there.
I picked the wrong crime.
It was the first crime that came to mind.
Is flashing a crime?
Yeah.
My friend in high school, Vijay.
Vijay?
Vijay.
He was really into street racing, and he had one of those, like, cop monitors.
Nice.
And so he could just hear what all the cops were saying while he was, like, driving around and stuff.
So he could see, like, where they were.
But he would, like, hear, like, what was going on, like, the accidents and things like that.
he basically had his own nosy nelly that's cool yeah oh yeah i guess you could just get a police
radio yeah everyone can do that pretty much no but it's illegal to have in your like i think if
you have that like yeah there are some like racing ones where it makes a noise when a cop when it
like when a cop is near and those are illegal and so he would have to like hide it um when he got
pulled over but what's weird is now google maps has like a thing that says like yeah cops are
nearby my dad got a medal on ways for being like one of their top reporters really that's awesome
because he drives constantly like his his uh commute to work from booth bay to portland is
like an hour and a half so he'll just report like cops and like broken down cars and everything like
that and they told him he's in like the top point something percent of you got like a like a virtual
medal for it my uh my uncle's a state trooper in maine and one time we were driving he was you know
he'd play the radio on the cars i was kind of interesting but one time we were driving down
the highway and someone was like mad at him and like it's like an unmarked car uh and so they
were like riding on his ass like fucking with him and he goes watch this and uh just flicks on the
lights for like a half second and off so like the guy's riding on his ass he's just like
peels right off oh that's awesome dude i'm still paying for uh for a ticket i got when i was in
like either senior year in high school or freshman in college i passed the state trooper
going like 93 and we'll put a picture right here phil has a picture i'm in a friday beers sweatshirt
talking to outside of my car talking to a cop because he was an unmarked car and he but it was
so clearly a state trooper it was like only they drive those dodge yeah charged with a giant antenna
on the back and he was like are you stupid because that's criminal speeding he was like i could take
you to jail right now yeah there's a 300 ticket you're still paying it in terms of like it's still
on my record so my insurance is high because of that yeah i just got car insurance for the first
time today come on wawanisa what that's the cheapest one that's what i have oh i thought
because my car's a nissan i got confused there what did you get want a nissan
i don't know what we got scott just did it nice should i find out
no oh no i can't imagine that's like super interesting um there was a house on my in
my neighborhood that was always like we knew something fishy was going on in there and then
one day the guy just got arrested and like got taken away and i never heard from him again and i
i've always wanted to know what the crime was so nosy nelly would come in handy for that no body
no crime nobody no crime girl your buddy is crime bird girl your buddy baby i don't really want to
know how you got in rows because i just want to fly oasis what did you go to oasis i did not know
but i saw everyone from our company went flan when flan went went saturday i wanted to go i
did too i just didn't have it in me i just didn't have it in me this one this next pitch is uh dogs
but for when you're really hot yes yes dog that's it someone submitted just dogs but for when you're
really hot and i could tell that they were also really hot when they submitted this i like that
a lot that is really good yeah yeah i mean what's the worst part about being hot no dog no dogs
scared scared because no dogs because there's no dogs there exactly i love it i'm in yeah i'm down
we gotta start i feel like we're getting to the age now where we gotta start we gotta start making
some big investment plays if anyone has any companies out there you're looking you're look
you're doing a round of funding hit willie and i am apple we want to we want to get on that we
You want to get in on the ground floor.
Yeah, but only for a couple hundred bucks.
No.
If you have a good idea, I would give you all the money I have.
I want to be able to be 60 and everyone be like, he took a huge risk and it paid off.
Were you about to say the number of all the money that you have?
No, it didn't sound like it.
Oh, yeah.
I don't even know how much I have, so that wouldn't...
$10.
$10.
$10.
$10 quid.
we were playing musical flip cup on which is a game that i really play with my friends
oh you're not talking about the draft no uh on saturday and my someone was like what are we
playing for and i like have all this like cash like right in my room from it's still from the
margarita boat cruise so i just like i was like i kind of joke i was drunk and i put a hundred
dollar bill in the middle of the table and then my buddy trent won and like i didn't even really
think about it in the moment and then the next day i was like oh fuck he actually took the hundred
bill and he flew back to boston so oh damn whatever uh he he needs it dude he's really
my friend trent is really uh down bad no i'm just kidding my friend trent was here this
weekend it was great that's awesome yeah i don't think i've met him you didn't uh all right what's
the worst part about what's the worst part about windows or what were you gonna say sorry no i was
gonna it was about covid but i feel like everyone's sick of talking about that at this point
um normal i wanted my name to be trent when i was a kid really yeah because uh there was like this
guy on what was what was that show called there's a guy survivor no total drama island oh and the
cool guy was a survivor show yeah yeah you remember that and the guy named the cool guy was named
trent i never watched that's such a cool name i always thought logan was a cool name because the
guy from um i like my middle my middle name is that austin butler austin but no oh no the other
guy other guy austin butler's in total drama island no he's in zoe 101 oh he doesn't look
very cool that guy this guy you see this guy oh yeah he does look cool never mind
anyway all right what is the worst part about windows
hurts andrew what's the worst part about windows stings
burglars can get in cat burglars
cat burglars can get in because they're just on of track so no matter if it's closed or not
yeah unless you lock it they can just press on the glass and slide it up
introducing the pill bottle lock locking window so it's on a track in the same way that to get
into like a pill to so that children can't get it you have to push them down and then do it uh
you you don't you never have to lock your windows again you just have to push in and it's on a track
and then it'll slide up but if a burglar is on the outside they can't pull it obviously so they
can't if they try to push on your window and open it it wouldn't open so you can keep your windows
you know you don't have to worry about locking them and no cap larder is that a problem for you
a lot it's a worry of mine for sure do you not lock your windows on they don't know i leave my
windows open but you're up on like the fifth floor cat burglar textbook definition they got
those suction things yeah yeah i'm worried about like they had the suction things though that
that wouldn't help yeah they could just pull it then fuck oh my god i got a fucking complaint
so you know i'm like dealing with my my hot water heater doesn't work yeah so i'm like building a
case right now i'm like amassing all these emails that i've sent them about like times i've notified
them that our hot water is working i thought it was that you wouldn't pay the gas bill that was
like one that was like one week you didn't hear that oh that was like no i picked that that one
time no but i mean that wasn't related to the water no that we had have been experiencing this
problem for like years and then my roommate one week forgot to pay the gas bill and that was the
one time i went like ballistic and so i've been like i'm i'm gonna like report them unless they
fix this and i want to get like a bunch of money and uh and i got an email last night that the
people below us were like hey they can hey just as a heads up the people below you can hear you
walking around your apartment yeah you live in an apartment you have an upstairs neighbor or
whatever and so i emailed back and i was like hey yeah we'll be more mindful about how we're walking
well i have you though like my shower is still and i went on just like a full tangent
and uh we were trying to come up with like a clever way we were originally our response was
going to be like if they want to swap apartment or we'll swap with them if they have hot water
but then i was like that's kind of mean that's funny i know yeah fucking assholes but if you
live you live in it you you chose to live in an apartment building you know people live above
yeah i like kind of hear them sometimes in ours but not that much yeah but they were like they
were like it's that you're walking sounds excessive and i'm like i could run a fucking
marathon in my apartment if i want to i live there that's not your problem are you is it
been excessive though i guess now i'm like walking quieter on purpose but it i don't know
they were like in the email they go like they heard you move a chair i was like yeah i probably
moved a chair i'm allowed to do that yeah what i think they're trying to like build their own case
of like noise complaints so that because i think they know i'm gonna do something rash and i think
they want to like evict us oh yeah they shouldn't right yeah totally maybe pitch me willy all right
oh we got progressive nice that's what i had and they and then i got hit when we got hit by that
woman yeah they rate they raise my rates through the roof uh it's fucked what are they cute andry
this is before your time but the woman that hit us accused willie of drinking he was she was on
the phone with cops she was like they're all hammered he's drinking a beer right now right
now and really like it's a celsius and she's like what's that but she's like on the phone with the
cops only trying to yell it's a celsius like so that they're gonna they can hear it through the
other end of it in her defense though some of the celsius got mixed with the high noon
yeah oh some of them did get yeah that's crazy so you might have been drinking a high noon dude
yeah the when the cop showed up like if i was a cop and someone was accusing the people of that
hit me of like being drunk or on drugs i would put them through like some sort of sobriety test
just like for my own mental sanity he literally he just took my like i could have been hammered
He just took my word for it.
He did.
And he, I asked him, I was talking to the guy and he was like, there was this whole
situation, but basically at one point I asked him a question and he goes and pointed his
body cam.
And I was like, imagine though, like he was like, okay, and what do you do for work?
And you're like, I'm not hammered, but my job is I rank beers.
We were going to the Rolling Stones and he was like talking to us about the Rolling Stones.
Yeah.
He was like, dude, it's going to be a sick show.
like he didn't ask us about the case one he literally was just like he instantly knew this
woman was crazy didn't remotely check if i was were you guys in inglewood when you got hit
brentwood okay yeah i was gonna say people in inglewood are insane every time somebody reaches
out and they're like do you want to live in my apartment in inglewood i go no they get offended
and they like fight me on it who reaches out like when i used to live in those like little like
furnished apartments i would just send like a general application like i'm interested in
these areas or whatever and people be like oh i have this place in englewood i'm like ah it's a
little far and they're like fuck you you're gonna die alone and i'd be like whoa whoa yeah that's
that englewood mentality yeah that's the wood for you bro yeah all right here's my pitch you ready
it's nfl red zone has commercials now does it really yeah oh what everything's going to shit
i mean what do you consider like a commercial like those little like frame things they added
like full commercials now do they really what's the point of this year what's the point of red
zone it's espn now bought it i think well that doesn't buy apparently for the whole day there
was one minute of commercials i must have missed what the commercial was because i they they always
did that frame thing like the lows yeah frame but i've never seen them actually like play they do
an actual commercial i was all you guys see this it was all over the news i wasn't watching red
zone anyway i wasn't either i actually only watched the jets game the goddamn jets man
they fucking finally the offense that was the best offensive performance i think i've seen
from the jets in my entire life and then they still lost to aaron rogers who's a fucking pussy
anyway yeah that was brutal game um nfl overlay because the other thing about red zone here's
the problem with red zone it's like oh i'm looking here i'm looking here i don't know
what's happening where like you don't know where to look at the right time sometimes if you have
like an octobox or something or you don't know if they're going to switch to the right game at the
right time it's all the games on the same screen overlaid on top of each other with varying degrees
of transparency so you can watch every game at the same time on one screen i actually really
like that like it's like oh my god deep ball to oh down the middle oh you know what i mean
you i actually i'm all jokes aside if they could figure out like the right the right degree
of transparency for all because i was watching four games at once and i literally my felt like
my brain was gonna explode yeah was that the youtube tv like yeah four bucks yeah that is
you got brain that made you explode i love chilling with you dude we gotta hang out and
film it i was watching sunday night football next to the vmas and it's such an like an insane thing
to watch both at the same time you just you're like over here you got like derrick henry touchdown
and then you look over and somebody's in like nothing but bra and panties like humping the
stage wait whoa what just what just happened did you record that on tivo someone on the bills
wait i have a question did you see derrick henry in the bills game almost got nailed by a beer
no he ran he ran in a touchdown and a fan hurled a beer at him and it just like skipped right in
front that's that bill's mafia did you ever did you like the vmas i did yeah why did you
you're gonna like cry did you like the vma am i going to hell for watching the vmas
no who was the best vma
um probably gracie abrams she performed no on saturday i was trying to
if you see my my my tiktok i was trying to uh i was ranking my hangover and i was trying to
figure out for a while how to get college football on one of the octoboxes and prisoner of azkaban on
the other that would be cool that would be awesome that would be cool if you could split screen a
movie and would you just keep the audio on the movie though and then just like yeah okay yeah
i have a question i was just watching you're reading the sorcerer's stone yeah i just watched
it last night yeah why when you know when hagrid comes and gets harry yep where are they oh so it's
actually interesting i'm actually glad you brought this up because i was like they're on like a rock
in the middle of the ocean they are so they didn't they didn't address this in the movie and i had
never this is the first time i learned this because i just started reading sorcerer's stone
basically you know the letters are like flooding into the house yeah he in the book they go to
like a bunch of different places of like increasing um solitude solitude to try and avoid the letters
and the last place they end up they're like drive jerseys like driving around and then like finds
this like old shack out on a rock and they have a guy like like loan them their boat and they paddle
out there but in the movie they just don't address it and they're just like on this rock yeah i was
like what they probably shot more and then they cut it or something yeah but dude there's so much
in the book that is not in the movie yeah it's been great for me that's interesting okay that
makes sense because i was like what the fuck is this like a dream yeah i and also the in the movie
without the context of that obviously you're not like on the dursley side but at the same time
you're like this guy's just stalking them no you're they're so fucking we were i was like
this is like not just like oh they're mean to him it's like full-blown child abuse yeah dude
so they they shoving him in the closet and like the cupboard under the stairs yeah dude they don't
address this in the movie either but they uh or they talk about it very briefly in uh in the
second movie but the whole time they just had another bedroom that was for Dursley's toys
and so like Harry could have had a bedroom the whole time wait and then to to get him to not
uh be mad at them yeah about the I forget like the intricacies of it but they uh
gave him the dursley's second bedroom as like his name dudley sorry dursley's the dad okay
no dursley's the last name yeah yeah sorry they call hagrid calls he's like dry up dursley you
great prune got it um they give him dudley's second bedroom as like a don't hurt us with
your magic but in the second in harry potter the movies he just gets the bedroom they don't
address it interesting lots of fun stuff happening a lot to learn i remember thinking those books
were huge and dude that's why i got a kindle yeah well they're not that they're actually not that
they fly by on the kindle yeah all right should we do this guy rocks yeah yeah all right this guy
and i'm gonna airdrop this this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey andrew pause this immediately
and i mean immediately we've all kind of had this thought before but it's really fun to to just hear
someone actually talk about it so let's let's give it a shot hit me the officer who finally
gets to arrest trump what one sentence do you say as you put on the handcuffs this is for what
you've done the white race that was powerful
thank you finally someone talking you're the officer who finally gets to put the handcuffs
on trump what's the one sentence you say this is what you've this is for what you've done to
the white race which to me i don't know which side he falls on i don't know if he's fully aware
it felt like he started that sentence with absolutely no plan that was like lauren's
check-in video where like he started he started recording and just tried to find it along the way
yeah this is for what you've done to the white race the um all right willie you're the officer
who finally gets to slap the handcuffs on trump what what's the one sentence you say i say don't
drop the soap andrew i've always said i'm sorry this is just my job i'm just following orders
just following orders sir i actually voted for you i'm actually gonna let you go oh just play
cool i'm gonna let you go in a second run run this is someone goes expected a zig and he's
this is for what you've done to the white race yeah he he held on that w for a while i thought
he was gonna say like maybe women i was like yeah i've done a lot of women yeah he has done a lot
of bad things to women i was thinking the white race though was not not the race i was expecting
yeah yeah it's like actually i feel like i feel like you've been pretty good yeah i think that's
the one kind of the one he's like laid off a little bit um all right willie good luck hit me
good luck one up and following that up oh i love this video have you seen this yeah it's so
inspirational gangsters booked a whole seminar just to see who judge them for their looks
It's like what are they doing
It's like they're gangsters
It's just there's nowhere to sit
If I walked into any movie theater
And everyone was looking at me
Also wait
Pause it for a second Andrew
Also part of it
Like those people tried to go to their seats
They weren't judging them
They just didn't get up
Charlie Sheen
so sad
the music is so funny
they still don't get up
they're all like harassing him
he's like all right
that is you take the edible and you walk into the movie theater
gangsters also gangster they just like guys who have like black t-shirts on just one guys
like motorcycles this is actually exactly how i felt this weekend i went to my apartment
to my apartment pool and there was like clearly a couple that like i wasn't sure if they just got
done doing something freaky or like we're about to do something freaky but it was really like
you can't you can't tell that anyone's in the pool until it's like too late you know until you're
like there yeah i was like you can't just like turn around like these guys and so i like walked
out there with like my book and i see this couple and they just like glare at me and i was like
fuck and then the pool is like this big like it's tiny and so i just like laid my stuff down got my
book and just got as far in the other corner as i possibly could and i couldn't even pay attention
to the book because i just felt like they were staring at me the whole time and i reading in
the pool it's baller and i was um flex um and i was like damn my mama andrew shit reading in the
pool yeah sorry but i was just like listening to their conversation and at one point i heard the
girl go oh no oh no i've had diarrhea in the last week because there's a sign like in the back that's
like if you've had diarrhea in the last week you can't be in the pool or something oh my god and
she goes oh shoot i've had diarrhea in the last week she's like but i don't think there's ever
been a week i haven't had diarrhea and i was like i was like i gotta get out of this i have had
diarrhea i i think this is from like the marathon training i've had diarrhea for a month i'm not
gonna every time that has to be something you're eating i think it's just like every day for a
month almost yeah i mean it's not it's not every poop is complete is it sting stink or sting sting
yes does it stink yes so why wouldn't the answer to just be yes it was yes i just wanted to know
what you were asking it's it's been i haven't had like a good solid pooping it's like that um
that curb your enthusiasm episode where he's like sorry the food's late i have diarrhea
at the waiter and then they're like did they did he say he has or had
that's funny um yeah it's been really really bad i'm sorry man i'm still using it sorry page i was
late i had diarrhea like last week do you have one of the is it one of those ones where you have
to be like like you're like like no it's just i just go to poop normally and then it's just
no i mean you're on the toilet and it's coming out like it does it do you have sting ring or
does it or is it just like it like explodes out my butt nice like a pop rock you've never had
one of those where you're on the toilet and it's like it's like like it like it like hurts that
bad i've had ones i don't know if i've had that and i've had ones so i don't i don't do very well
with gluten and dairy and if i have like a spicy pea or not spicy if i have a spicy poop no what's
the what's the pizza if i have a naughty pie from prince street oh yeah i will be on the toilet and
i will have to like turn the bidet on just so that i can get up and walk around because i'm in so much
pain and then i sit back down yeah those naughty pies i call it i call it sting ring yeah all right
next segment all right sorry to anyone that was eating lunch this guy's awesome this teach me
something oh here's something this is about the movie i was watching last night hagrid yeah the
guy who plays hagrid's six one yeah you know this yeah it's kind of they just like they like they
just like do funny like camera work to make him look that tall and then they had one like 610 guy
who would be in a few of the full-body shots.
Yeah, there was also, like, an animatronic version of him
that would sit in, like, the, like, wide shots.
Oh, interesting.
And they could, like, move his face with a PS4 controller.
Wait, really?
Yeah, pull up, like, animatronic hacks.
He wasn't on stilts?
I read there was a 6'10 rugby player.
Yeah, isn't that crazy?
Oh.
Doesn't he really look like him?
And he, like, could, like, move.
It was, like, very...
Wait, go to the words part again.
an animatronic hagrid head was used in the harry potter films primarily in wide shots and action
scenes to portray hagrid oh it was worn by the stunt double so we're both right yeah very nice
that's interesting wait he was six one and he was single brother brother there's only a few of us
oh i got one who here is scared of cheetahs who here is scared of cheetahs come on we're all
scared never killed a human in the wild really they do not they do not view humans as prey
apparently they can't catch us they're like a big like because i've seen all these videos where
like nat geo cameramen will like have a cheetah come like sleep on them or whatever and they're
like how are they not scared yeah never killed a human in the wild that we know of can you
double check that though just in case where'd you get that info tiktok or chat gpt
did i google is there an animal that state that seems dangerous but isn't maybe no there are no
confirmed reports or documented documented cases of wild cheetahs ever killing a human
so there are these videos they like act like just big cats yeah big house cats yeah that is really
interesting actually i didn't know that well oh uh andrew can you cool what do cheetah eat
it's gonna be small animals and rodents so like because they don't
gazelles so they can they could totally kill us oh 100 they have in captivity it said
good i think if you have a cheetah captive you deserve to you deserve to get
what actually no i'll say that for another word say it say it when i was in high school
pre tiger king we went to one of those uh big cat sanctuaries is what they're called it was
part of our like apes curriculum that we would go on this road trip to one of those part of your
apes curriculum ap environmental science yeah i thought you did it together i actually took that
class your teacher your teacher couldn't get you like a monkey sanctuaries they were like
cheetahs are cool yeah yeah i actually took apes too okay yeah did you go to a big cat sanctuary
uh or five maybe uh no i think i got a four i feel like that was like the easiest ap right
yeah i did not i did not i don't think i ever i took a handful of ap because i don't think i ever
took the test once really that's like the whole point yeah because you could get college credit
um anyway i remember talking to the workers and they were like yeah it's like really hard to get
in like be one of the workers here and uh i was like you know this is a pretty isolated place
like where do you live and she's like oh we stay here like year round like we live in little dorm
things and i was like oh okay she's like yeah it's crazy like you know we do everything together we
have all our meals together we all sleep in like the same kind of like rooms and everything and
and then like she started talking more and more about it about like yeah we don't really like
talk to our family that much and like we kind of like only have each other and the more she talked
i was like oh this is a cult yeah like this is a hundred percent a cult was it one of the people
was it one of the places like in the documentary no but like i think the general consensus is that
all those big cat sanctuaries are like yeah pretty culty um but like she wouldn't talk about like the
process of like how to become a trainer there and like how to get in get out get the cats and she
was like yeah people don't really like leave here ever and i was like oh my god the only way they
leave here is in a hearse come on come on um but yeah i thought that was like pretty insane because
then tiger king came out like two years later i never saw that is that tiger king you would like
tiger king you would love it yeah that came out two years later i was like yeah this is the vibe
i was getting from those people too they're like and they all have like beef with each other like
the different sanctuaries like hate each other huh um all right should we start with nathan for
you episodes that don't exist or boat names that don't exist come down either one nathan for you
episodes yeah like that these are nathan for you plots that don't exist a laundromat is struggling
to get business and nathan realizes that the one thing that could help them stand out is if they
guarantee that they can do your laundry instantly have it ready in under 30 seconds people think
that's impossible see but here's the catch this is what he does on the back end he creates a system
of like a the payment process when you go to put your card in it gets jammed every time and so the
card's jammed and there's like an issue and then there's a survey at the end and so the process of
actually getting the payment through takes 30 minutes and that's enough time to actually do
the world's fastest laundry so you say the laundry is ready they bring out a bag they put it down
after 30 seconds your laundry is not in there payment thing has an issue 30 minutes later you
finally get it and once they're ready they swap the clothes with a secret trap door whoa and so
you think it's been sitting there the whole time really took 30 minutes i love it does that make
sense yes yeah did you really like it i did yeah a hot sauce brand is struggling to stand out and
so nathan comes up with the idea that they have a hot sauce that is so hot it can kill you and the
way to get around this is they find someone who is going who's on their deathbed and right before
they are about to die they give him a wing with the hot sauce on it that is kind of just like
normal mild hot sauce yep but he dies immediately after so now they can advertise that their hot
sauce is so hot it could actually kill you i love that i think you guys shouldn't be saying these
why they're so good oh thank you i'm gonna steal them uh guitar store is struggling so nathan
decides that he's gonna put a bunch of uh plants in the store and so when someone comes in and
tries a guitar they all go whoa that is groovy when they start playing and then say something
like mind if i hop in and every time with each customer they end up forming like a five-piece
band where the guy thinks he's they're all professional musicians and they make him sound
really good so he's like and they're like that guitar is doing something for you and he thinks
it's like this every customer thinks they created this like once in a lifetime moment that's
fantastic that's really good yeah yeah wait was morty there morty was time traveling with alex
dunphy a struggling candy store wants to get more kids to come in the shop and so nathan has the
brilliant idea of hiring a van shuttle service that will drive around neighborhoods in their
white van and pick up kids and bring them to the candy store i love that that makes a lot of sense
i think that would work is that bad no i'm kidding oh okay no i think that's great um i was going for
like a pedophiles pick kids up with candy what what pedophiles do what wait did that not come
across in my thing obviously that came okay an arena football team is struggling to sell tickets
so nathan recommends that they advertise anytime the other team gets a personal foul
free beers for the whole stadium then the team practice at their practices start spending most
of the time just rehearsing discipline and not reacting when they get personally fouled so every
time they practice getting like punched in the head and just like acting like it's cool it's
basically become trained at not reacting so they never get personal fouls against them so they
never have to think about the free beer that's just last chance you yeah i haven't seen that
oh that's basically the plot a mattress store comes out with a sex proof guarantee if you break
your mattress or your bed frame during sex the mattress is free but to prevent people from
cheating nathan has to be in the room with you while you're having sex so he knows that you
actually broke it during just normal sex that's great that's awesome i can totally picture that
i also had two more if you guys want to hear them but i do i do want to hear them um a vape shop
runs a campaign that vaping is good for you by having high school track kids uh rip their vape
after a big win on the podium and it has a shirt that says like portland smoke and vape
helped me win this race um an old person's home that will tell uh the grandkids that their
grandparent only has a few days to live so that the grandkids will want to come visit their
grandparents in the grant in the old person home and then once they leave they notify the family
they've made a miraculous recovery so they can advertise that if you come stay here uh your
grandkids will come visit you way more than any other old person home that's a really good one
that is very good yeah uh all right should we do boat names that don't exist yeah yeah
these are boat names that don't exist the incredible hole i like that fishing scam with
i like that as well shell corporation with like a little like oh yeah ultimate lagooner
i like it didn't feel like you liked it he doesn't like goon um bow to your sensei i like that
uh sail model like male model i like it land hose dirty shore sloopy seconds s s and then s s
and there's like a snake logo on it so it's like s s s the s s s yeah i like that
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it's gonna take a lot do you want to do mailbag oh let's do mailbag mailbag three at a time
mailbag making it rhyme mail bag three at a time i said mailbag three at a time
why don't you open the box and i'll open this yep what's in the box okay who's this from we got
this is from little field dan this is from little field danny little field danny this is from little
field danny and it is like the coolest like mahogany you're not mahogany the coolest like
wooden box ever yeah and it says playdate on it oh what that's sick okay unbelievable what is it
everybody's so creative all right and we got oh dear gas powered and toothbrush toothbrush
i am a huge fan of the pod you guys rocks here's a cold one on me you guys deserve it
love little field danzy ps boxes oak canarywood and paddock whoa beer is maple walnut and mahogany
this paper was made by wonderful my wonderful and talented mom whoa my page my art page is at
d.littlefield.works holy crap wait i think these are two different things yes they are oh okay
he made us a beer out of wood i think this is so cool what what he made us a beer out of wood
i think they made a beer out of wood whoa that is sick that's awesome that's so sick
dude whoa that was way too kind shout out littlefield dan z all right who gets the box
who gets the beer i think we gotta put it in the box you gotta put the beer on the set yeah
i guess it's gonna blend so sick dude thank you unbelievable that's awesome and look it's got
look at this like the little airplane that's sick oh this is so cool you are so talented thank you
so much and the paper was made by his mom yeah that's unreal how do you make paper
mail it's probably a mill of like handmade paper yeah that's insane what a talented family gas
powered toothbrush i like that all right i got brian king he sent us some dog stickers those
are sick oh dog with sunglasses and a sombrero and brian king says this is my best bud jefferson
we lost him about a year ago r.i.p jefferson i know how you're feeling brian losing losing a dog
is no fun these stickers are my silly way of keeping his memory alive hope they make y'all
smile like he did they they they do he got he got those polarized ray bands on just sick um awesome
even if y'all don't read my pitch enclosed at least you get some stickers of my handsome lad
y'all be good or be good at it i like that and we'll read this pitch uh next episode yeah
perfect uh i got declan mcsweeney hell of a name whoa
ally oh let's go tuttleman philly shut up philly look at dude it's his dog and his
pleasure to have a class hat love it we'll put that right there that is oh
um and then his dog is a puppy and his that is a gorgeous dog and he says dear paul dear paul
george and john reserving the ringo spot for lauren and spirit uh big time playmate and
penn state law student here go lions uh thanks for bringing me joy and so many laughs during
law school in a time that has been very serious and difficult this pod makes me laugh every single
week to willie d my lady brought me bought me wingspan for my birthday and i'm quickly becoming
the greatest ornithophile bird enthusiast out there let's play some time it's on brother i'll
kick your ass with my letter i've included some pictures of my sister jemma jemma's a 10 and a
half year old bernie's mountain dog i promise she is not an ai dog as you can see she's a playmate
too and loves to borrow my pleasure to have in class hat jemma recently got sick but she always
puts a smile on my face we're sorry to hear that i hope the picture did the same for you it really
did it and it'll be up there for the rest of our time here uh tell jemma she rocks jemma you rock
and wish me luck in my last year of law school good luck uh what is his name good luck declan
um d mac d mac keep being yourselves it makes a lot more people happy than you know cheers
declan ps i included some more pictures of jemma when she was a puppy and not elderly enjoy thank
you so much for that dude that was fantastic i got this from i think ali tuddleman her mom
dm'd her this you need to go get this guy you need to go find this find this guy that's awesome
ali tuddleman i feel like i went to a high school with her she's from philly oh never mind and she
said she gave us a pitch so i can hold on to that one we'll pitch that with this but i like
the art everyone's so talented it's doing stuff i wouldn't know how to build any i don't know how
any of this stuff is happening drawing or everything you guys are great yeah this is
fantastic all right should we do our sod our sod i just feel so bad can i run and pee it's gonna
take they'll be done in two seconds i'm gonna do hawaiian roller coaster ride it's from the
lilo and stitch soundtrack and it's been bringing me a lot of joy i hope it brings you some joy it
makes me feel i like to roll the windows down and drive around with it on come on you know how i'll
be um all right guys have a fantastic rest of your wednesday have a great weekend and we will
see you bright and early for our monday episode go follow rusty's songs of the day on spotify
when we reach 10 000 followers two of you are getting 101 halfway there just dm me a photo
after you've followed uh drop a like if you're uh hammered drop a liggity like if you're hammered
i'll see you bye
Thanks for watching!
