Will & Rusty's Playdate - official ins and outs of 2025

Episode Date: January 8, 2025

Will and Rusty dive into the Instagram hard launch, buying a cranberry bog, blacking out at the airport, and how to actually beat a hangover. The gang also ponders where the sweet spot of fame lies and whether stealing a car might be easier than it seems. To close things out, the boys draft their 2025 ins and outs, as well as touchdown celebrations and college bowl games that definitely should exist. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod HEAD TO http://www.drinktriple.com/playdate TO GET 10% OFF THE ORIGINAL HIGH SELTZER USING CODE: PLAYDATE. 0% HANGOVER, 100% SOCIAL.  $10 OFF ALL CASES OF ACCELERATOR ON AMAZON WHEN YOU ENTER CODE 10BUCKSOFF AT CHECKOUT UNTIL 1/9 - SHOP HERE https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/FB06B38E-F0C2-479F-9DA5-FD4A1C852B07?channel=Playdate VISIT www.dollarshaveclub.com/playdate AND USE PROMO CODE PLAYDATE FOR 20% OFF $20 OR MORE. CONTROL BODY ODOR ANYWHERE WITH @SHOP.MANDO AND GET $5 OFF YOUR STARTER PACK (THAT’S OVER 40% OFF) WITH PROMO CODE PLAYDATE AT https://shopmando.com/ #MANDOPOD (00:00) Intro (01:08) Getting High in Public (07:11) Student Section Leaders (11:36) Brett Harrelson (22:52) Episode 71! (27:31) The Drunkest Man in the World (32:03) New Year’s Eve (39:32) André 3000 (51:50) Dry January (57:14) Rusty’s New Year’s Roadmap (01:05:48) Roadmap (01:13:02) Pitch Submissions (01:33:05) Pitches (01:39:09) This Guy Rocks (01:45:00) Teach Me Something (01:53:45) AITA (02:02:43) 2025 Ins and Outs (02:04:01) Touchdown Celebrations that Don’t Exist (02:06:26) College Football Bowl Games that Don’t Exist (02:07:42) Whose Personality are you Stealing? #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When it comes to recycling, a short rinse goes a long way. Leftover food residue can impact materials' ability to be effectively recycled and can spoil your other recyclables too. Containers don't need to be squeaky clean, just clean and dry enough to keep them, and everything else in your bin, ready for recycling. Learn more at CircularMaterials.ca Ready? Recycle. Repeat.

New from Nespresso, blend wellness into your coffee routine with the Coffee Plus range, infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like Coffee Plus B12 to help support immune function and Coffee Plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose Ginseng Delight, our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com. As always, Playdate is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer. Redefining the party landscape.

We're back. It's 2020. First podcast of 2025. Yes. First of our show. Well, second. We don't know. Because we had one come out on the first.

Right. Cool. A lot has happened. We recorded that before. This is true. This is the first one we've recorded in the new year. And we've got new, we're totally new this year. Yep.

Everything about us is going to be... This is a sports podcast now. Yep. And Lauren... How about that big home run last night? Lauren is the catcher. Yep. That's right.

We do have our softball championship game tonight. Yes. Which I might come and watch. Are there our friends in the stands, or would I be the only... Or mostly the other team? Mostly the... You'd be the only guy on our side, but... Unless people show up for the championship.

I mean, you could also come in the dugout and hang out with everyone. I know, but then that implies that I might have to go play. No, you can't play. No. Oh, okay, great. Gavin's friend did that once. You didn't play? Hung out in the dugout?

Okay, yeah, I'll do that. He was a good locker room presence, honestly. He smoked a joint. Speaking of Gavin. He did smoke a joint. In the locker room? Yeah. Anyone that can just smoke a whole joint and go on with their day is a whole different...

No, I know. I went to a football game in BC's bowl game. We played in Yankee Stadium, and I went. And my friend's buddy came, and after the game, we were in line to go to the bar across the street, and there was some guy come by selling pre-rolls, and he just bought one. he's like i'm gonna go smoke this i was like that's crazy and then he comes into the bar and he's like all right guys i'm gonna head out it's like you can see it's like panic he's trying to be the guy that smokes a joint i've never i've never been a joint guy yeah i can take i can

take a couple a couple puffs to ever tell you my my blunt story my first blunt story it sounds awesome it was awesome the first time i ever smoked weed was a backwoods okay bought it from this guy he gave it to me i kept it in my math binder all day okay and then we went on to the me and my friend went out in the woods we took the bus home that's how young we were yeah went out into the woods and smoked it and uh i remember telling him like i don't i thought it was like an instant thing yeah and so i was like i don't feel anything we shared this blunt together and he was like no trust me like it's gonna be fine it's like no i think we should i think we should like spark up the second one and uh as i was smoking the second one the first the effects

of the first one kind of set in i think i've told this story already but we had to walk it was a hundred yard walk back to my house it's a very active neighborhood so the chances of like running into your friend's parents on a walk is high scarily high yeah nope no pun intended and we walked past we see it my good friend chris's mom and she's walking their dogs and we had like 50 yards to be like all right how do like not high people yeah you know talk to you know chris's mom how do they talk to dogs what did they pat the dog what are they what do we talk what do we do and we we formulated this like airtight plan and then before we knew it she was there and i remember thinking we nailed it being like oh hi doggy like good whatever like had the very brief interaction

and we we said out loud like oh we crushed that like she didn't know and we got back and she had We were so high that she had already told my dad. Not in like a get us in trouble way. Just be like, be prepared. Like they are so high. We walked in, we were making bagel bites. And he was just, he like clearly knew. But he didn't tell me for a while.

That's awesome. Speaking of Gavin McHugh, we haven't, about earlier. I wanted to tell this story. His cool friend that smoked the joint. His friend was sick. We walked into the, I think you were there. And I think you were there as well. We went to Jameson's after the New Year party.

company christmas party company christmas party yeah and i went in to get more beers and nice nice and the band is like ripping yeah and i'm like oh this is all like the band is crushing right now i gotta go check this out and i turn the corner and gavin is singing lead vocals for the band he's singing sex on fire so we'll put the clip right here apparently this was like a karaoke thing yeah wait why do i feel like we all why do i feel like we talked about this like he scanned and like paid to go up and perform and like had the lyrics in front of him oh i thought in the moment that he would just like ingratiated himself with the band i thought that's what and they were like get on up here brother i thought he was just such a cool guy they were like someone

else i brought this story up recently i know in front of jerry i think jerry was like yeah no that's just like a live can we already we talked about this and in the the day after our friday meeting when it was just like 10 of us on the last podcast no no okay wait but oh so he it wasn't a cool it wasn't it wasn't i mean it was cool he was good right but but i thought it was like he knew all the words and the band just like got him in and like it was like a cat cool moment the coolness for me is twofold where 50 of it is that he was good but the other 50 which is i think is more important was that i thought he was just cool enough that the band was like we dig this guy's vibe get up here i agree yeah but i believe that wasn't the case i could be wrong i hope i'm

wrong that is a that's a kick in the new evidence it felt like a kick in my nads too did i tell you about my night that night please it was viral like everything i do uh no we were at uh jameson's after our company christmas party my phone cannot stop oh there goes run run run run st and lauren are both on their phones wait i was turning mine i was putting mine on do not disturb because it kept buzzing likely story you're probably snapchatting abroad oh he only has one broad i only have one broad snapchatting the broad we just got each other on snapchat just got engaged and you and you hard launched oh yeah you did launch on instagram yeah i did which i was like battling with this about not tagging her but then i was like it's weird if she's the only person i

don't tag yeah and then she texted me and was like she's like like a hundred follow requests from like random people does she accept them all no but i thought it would be funny if she did i do too well i did well no i had actually a problem one time i said my snapchat on the podcast with them and all these people were adding me and i was like oh that's kind of funny so i just added them all back and then i started getting all these snapchats from like high schoolers yeah like high school girls i was like oh my god which would be for some guys yeah i guess i would be like i like opened one i was like oh i can't ever respond to one of these how did you like immediately be like that's high school they were like that it was just like it was like on in the

realm of like could have been high school and i was like comically like young people on snapchat yeah i don't even go on snapchat in general but there's still a handful of these random kids that will just send me snapchats all the time yeah i have a handful but i can't tell if they're people that i met in real life or not so i just respond yeah i'd be like like like hey want to come to prom with me big hoko game this weekend yeah theme is white out for hoko that's how we find out you've been you're like the student section leader you're the i was a super fan president no big deal i was too like you let all the chance of the games and stuff uh ours was more it was more about like setting up the themes and like handling the t-shirts and stuff but yes i did do the chance

as well that was the same i invented my senior year i was like i want to leave my mark i tried to do this everywhere i go uh leave my mark so i left my mark in high school you're always like peeing on yeah no but in high school it was i was like this spirit captain or fear leader or whatever and uh i wanted to create a new chant that would survive generation so i created we're the raptors raptor football touchdown score oh raptor football touchdown score oh replay lauren's reaction right here lauren did not like that you know i made a bad face um i didn't like it well did it stick i heard it did at least like two or three years down the road i haven't followed up i haven't been to a my alma mater in quite some time now but i it was certainly

an imprint on that year we did a lot that year it was very fun i remember i remember going to do a chant at a hockey game and halfway through forgetting like you know there's there's like some ending like and then some are just like with your voice yeah i had mixed two and and i said it and no one you got the shit kicked out of you no no one could like repeat it because it didn't make any sense yeah and one kid just like one like sophomore from like the top of the stands was like what yeah it's tough yeah i mean i i i was in boston last year and the go bragging again the the kid who was like my role for our rival high school oh it was also at this bar but we're like 23 now yeah we like hate each other like truly truly hate each other and uh it was weird

that just those things go like we were just like oh man like great to see you but like at our entire high school was like the majority of my effort was put towards like hating that kid i fucking hate him what's his name we bleep it but fuck wait why did you hate him he we were both i will give our both of us credit we were both very good at our jobs and part of that was the instagrams yeah we're like throwing jabs and so like most of i think his week probably consisted of this as well was like being a detective so it was like i had like inside sources at the school and i was like what's like the hot what's the hot drama got it and then we would like pick at that scab and like in our posts whatever we made big we went to walmart and we made big um blow up i don't

know in hindsight if i'd put half of the effort i put towards this job towards like actual school yeah i think i could have gone to like harvard we got i got really good at photoshop okay i was like photoshop things and make these giant posters we'd hold them up against the glass and um but i remember one time we had a flag and it was someone was holding it against the boards kind of as like a curtain and for them to get to the bathroom they had to walk through our student section which was horrible like planning yeah and i remember i told the kid on the other side of the flag like hey if you see any of these there was tensions were running high you see any of these kids that like might want to like scrap like tap me or like let me know because like i'm right on

the other side of these curtains like they know i'm there but i can't see them until we're like face to face okay and i just remember him coming under the thing and we ended up on the ground no punches were landed but it was just like humping each other yeah it was just like it just like on the ground like gnawing at each other's t-shirts i just remember we got each other into that position and i think we maybe both of us probably thought it was gonna get broken up a lot earlier yeah you wanted people to be like and i just remembered our vice principal was the giant like ex-college basketball player and he just i remember him picking me up by my belt in my shirt and just lift airlifting me off him and like putting me back vertical and then we

you're just like all right call it even good fight another draw split decision uh wait well you're killer night oh yeah oh yeah sorry about it wasn't really yeah it's just something funny that happened so we're at jameson's and i was like about to walk into the bar we were all at the outside area and i was going to walk inside and this like very pretty young girl comes out not like like the right like my age probably one of your snapchat girls one of the yeah no she got you on snap maps it was like this gorgeous like looking like a supermodel uh or maybe it just felt like that in the moment i'd had a few beers she was pretty she was i remember this story oh yes is this is it we're talking to each other is it the girl that gavin knows

no it's some random girl no one knew her oh yeah no it was a random person it was a random person she comes out of the door and uh is like kind of like running out and i was like whoa i kind of step back and then this really like tall handsome guy comes out behind her and it's like hey whoa and she's like get away from me don't fucking come near me stay the fuck away from me and then the guy like lunges towards her so me and this other like bystander being the good guys we are heroes even some say lunges like he like dove at her not like off his feet but like she was like stay away and then he kind of like was like like reach towards her and took like a big step and i like stepped in like i think other people said hero or like savior of the women right cause ally

ally woman lover blah blah blah whatever i don't get into the headlines i just was in the moment uh so me and this other guy like put our arms out and kind of stop him he evidently notices the other guy first so he starts trying to like fight with the other guy and then i was like oh yeah i'm out that guy can kick my ass right you're cheering him on i don't even know what yeah what's going on but he's like he's fighting with one guy he wills behind him like giving him a wedgie so then i got the back you get the front and i'm just doing wedgie he's like i'm trying to fight this guy he's like murdering you're not you're not part of this the other guy gets actually murdered while i just give the guy a big wedgie uh anyway he fucking then long story

short he then like is yelling like please please and then this other really old weird looking guy comes out with like a weird haircut like you almost look like have you ever seen like boogie nights full of boogie look up philip seymour hoffman and boogie nights it was him he's getting ready for boogie nights too he was method acting yeah i mean philip seymour all right lauren is we should have given her an eastern i was trying to figure out if it was seaman or seaman philip seaman hoffman boogie night philip seaman hoffmore yeah like this guy he has a weird haircut yeah he said he was really skinny he was really looks like a toupee really like the fight like stops and everyone's like wait a second what hey what is up with your haircut dude he was like

he was like a skinny version of that yeah right yeah he was really not that philip seymour hoffman's he was scrawny yeah we love philip seymour hoffman he's dead what actually yeah how'd he die you know what's really sad so he was like heroin he did drugs when he was younger and then he was sober for 23 years and then in his 50s he relapsed and he had a family and everything he died within like two years the problem with that is they these guys that stop because then they try to do as much as they all they know is the amount they used to do yeah sorry continue so that so philip seymour hoffman joins the fight no but he's like a scrawny version that's not a great example just kind of like equally like kind of off-putting in this role he's intentionally off but yeah the hair

anyway whatever uh that guy walks out and uh the he's he says to the he comes into the picture and says to the hot girl and he's like come with me and i was like all right well surely i was like definitely don't go with the guy who's chasing you but also i definitely wouldn't go with that guy and she's like yeah and just goes with the weird looking guy i was like what and then she goes the guy in this why does she need to go with someone i think so i think you'll it'll all come together so then the guy goes like click click and it literally it felt like one of those like gold digger prank youtube videos a five hundred thousand dollar mclaren was parked right there and the weird looking guy gets in the driver's seat and she gets in the passenger seat

and the hot tall guy then like gets down on his knees on the sidewalk he's like no don't go with him please please and the weird looking guy was definitely drunk so everyone watching was like whoa don't get in the car with that guy even if i mean the weird looking part doesn't help but he's also drunk he can't be driving and then they fucking sure enough speed off in this fucking five hundred thousand dollar car while the other guy is literally like a scene in a movie like on his knees on the pavement like no and i she she gets saved from this and then mclaren just jack knives and yeah no i mean i was like oh my god he's gonna die but he literally just sped off and honestly yeah i don't know i don't understand why she needed you gotta let me finish the story

so he speeds off and i was like oh my god holy shit and i was like jesus that guy should not be driving he's definitely drunk and the guy next to me goes like ah he'll do a bump and he'll be fine and i was like what and he was like you don't know who that is i was like no who's that he goes that's woody harrelson's brother i was like what so again that's brett harrelson he does this all the time so apparently does she know who he was yeah that's what i think happened she was with the other guy and then somehow got pulled away by Woody Harrelson's brother

wait go to the go four pictures over I think he has coke on his face in that picture no one over I don't know it's just a watermark no actually no he had that watermark when I saw him he looked really old

he looked not as good as he looks in these photos um but uh oh he knows Bill Clinton that's a good sign but anyway I just thought that was all time and there were these Turkish guys next to us and they were like wow one night in la and we see big star with big car and i was like bro woody harrelson's brother has that kind of pull wait here's my question i my brother works at fucking accenture he's his senior manager right why can't i do that my sister's gay yeah what

i don't we were in the same we were sitting at the same table what's funny is you you were probably you were a table away you're just facing I had gone to walk in so I was like in between the outside and the and I missed this whole thing I was watching it happen yeah oh you know where I was sitting I thought those girls were Gavin's friends

I think he was just sitting with strangers and so I said that one girl that was being really mean to you yeah I said she was being mean to me she was being mean to you yeah she called you a poopy butt oh what no she was actually being rude what'd she say I don't remember exactly but it was like

it was the type of humor where she thought it was oh i thought it was like nag flirting no but she was kind of just being a bitch me and troy looked at each other i was like we were like why is he hanging out i think that was valid because i sat down thinking like oh gavin's friends are here yeah and then he left and i think i was just intruding on their table so that's like probably my fault no i don't think um another thing that happened at jameson's uh this is an emily binder dig we work with taylor swift now yeah will thinks that there's a which is true there's a greater than zero chance will gets to meet his hero now because accelerator sponsored their pod and they also sponsored travis kelsey's pod we are now part of the

accelerator podcast family which is only three three podcasts one of this play date and one is new heights with travis kelsey who is dating taylor this is my first orange pop one it's so good i think this is a new flavor new flavor all right sorry continue oh uh this is an emily binder dig for all the haters out there what what she she she did something bad to me i was in the bar and i was caught in a rug like i always do dance my face off always sounds like farting to me but yes caught in a rug cutting a rug me and jacob eason were dancing our faces off and uh he's awesome he's so nice he's the best yeah he's a real touchdown of a guy and emily binder i had to like tie my shoe or something i handed her my beer for less than five seconds like it was like

here i need to do something i'll be back i handed it to her she immediately drops it like like i watched her just open her hand binder blast it shatters on the ground she goes oh i'll go get you another one and then just left the bar binder blast i got blasted you got blasted dude one time my roommate's girlfriend in college made our pasta without asking us and i was like okay that's a little weird whatever let it slide sits down immediately knocks it over and just spills it all over the floor of our living room and then like her boyfriend had been in his room and he walks out to the living room before he can enter the living room she goes hey actually uh want to go to your room he's like sure and just walks out with him and we're all sitting there she's left

the bowl and the pasta all over our floor pasta i was gonna say i don't know what's more egregious that move or your pronunciation of pasta you've never said it like that either that was interesting i innovate wait so did you were you guys like whoa no you have to i was honestly like jaw on the floor like there's no way she leaves without cleaning up this pasta um she sounds she sounds awesome i'm hungry you guys should keep kicking it with her she's she was a nice person new from nespresso blend wellness into your coffee routine with the coffee plus range infused with functional benefits choose the coffee you love with added b vitamins like coffee plus b12 to help support immune function and coffee plus b6 to keep your day moving or go with the flow and choose ginseng

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the party landscape I got it episode 71 bang it's literally my password Malkin I shouldn't say that

Malkin yeah Evgeny Malkin I got it I got it not you now you're gonna get hacked what's his name well no but the password they would have to

still be I just mean the number 71 isn't it because of they'd also still have to be near your laptop or my bank right what's this guy's name don't go near banglore savings afghani most obsolete bank um i just want to afghani yeah no e e v g e n i

afghani i'm kidding i'm kidding i'm kidding um he's my hero no e v g e n i oh lovely man he's like oh i'm penguin oh i love putin it's like probably what he says um russia is my life i need that hat i met a guy in maine that you would have he was right up your alley will joe bosco we were in a bar in portland that i frequent and i've never seen them do karaoke but i guess they were doing karaoke this night and the dj like we went to sit at this table and the guy was like no no no we got to clear this area out karaoke's happening yeah and we've all been going to this bar for like years and we're like oh i didn't know you guys do karaoke they're like yeah we do now all right cool and uh so the

dj is setting up takes like a while the list is kind of accumulating of like people that want to sing songs and then he's like all right guys like we're karaoke starting like everyone gather around and then he does the first three songs the dj that's my dream i'm gonna do that it was it was awesome i after the first one you're like what the hell after the second one yeah after the second one you're like you're like i don't like this at all like we want to go and then after the third one you're like i this i like this guy's concert that's what we're saying he made it he made it his own concert i wanted to do that yeah that's my dream we could do that here maybe i do karaoke tuesdays yeah i was i was telling uh i was telling my lady's roommate about you

uh she was asking and okay and the story i always tell about will is that one of the speakeasy oh yeah um that's my favorite will story the one that i met no that i don't know if we can keep and that girl loves will who doesn't a lot of girls love my right friend loves will listen to this cameron oh they saw each other on hinge will and this girl and they need they were both each other's most compatible and then they both clicked x and you were like scared or something i don't know i don't they both they both clicked it's not important it's not important why i think it had like a bunch of like it like it no like her profile uh like i think it had a bunch of like really really fucked up shit and like all the captions about like so healthcare hinge is trying

to tell them that they're both compatible for each other yeah they both don't buy it they then they then meet each other out and will i don't want to i don't want to gas you up too much uh my lady was saying like will made a really good impression last night i was like yeah will i was like i've seen it happen a couple times where i think going into the night obviously they think you're a nice guy but like they probably aren't entirely sold just like after like the first interaction and then like slowly through the night you watch someone like fall in love with will i was like yeah yeah it was probably on fire because she she was saying that will was very funny and that she wanted to see him again wow i didn't i didn't even know it was her you

didn't know this i didn't know it was her she was just like my my buddy was visiting and went to high school with her i guess we just like went and got like subs and then the next day russie texted me he was like dude you nailed it with that girl and i was like oh i literally i mean i she was cute i just like it wasn't like but didn't you do karaoke i think that was that's always the deal see i did karaoke just on my own i paid the guy to skip the line i actually had a no no i didn't mean with her i meant like oh that's always the that always seals the deal is like yeah i'm not sold them there were several women with their pants off when i walked up right stage couple panty size holes in the floor yeah there was a yeah i mean listen man i i i don't know what to

say i'm flattered uh wait i i just remembered something a few minutes ago um the drunkest man in the world sat next to me on my flight back to la oh i didn't know i was on your flight wait i didn't know you were gonna say something like that no okay so started off from tiktok started off like fine started off kind of harmless so last person aboard he reeks wait why did his race matter what he's greek why did his race matter i didn't huh what did i say i thought you said is what did you say i said he was the last person aboard he reeks oh i thought you said he was greek he greek no he greek great he's last person he's last person on a plane he greek he greek okay so we olive oil and feta cheese okay sir um so i take out my little my little uh eye mask

that spotify sent us so nice so nice love that thing for for traveling i go to put it on i'm about to like take my little because it was a red eye and then he like sees me putting on he's like that looks really nice i have one too and he like digs at the bottom of his backpack like takes his like disgusting eye mask out it was like smell it it was all covered in taziki it was all dirty and then he puts it on and then he and then he takes out okay i'm not gonna like make fun of him he was kind of like nerdy he was reading this weird book and i got cornered into i somehow gave him my number what he was like well one second let's rewind a little bit yeah what feels you skipped kind of the meat of the story he pulled out his book i gave him my number covered in

shit so i gave him i gave him my number i said the guy with an eye mask covered in grody shit i'm gonna give him my number okay he's because he goes i live in i live in venice you have to come to my new year's eve party and i and he's like what are you doing for new year's eve when you're sitting an inch away from this i like he wouldn't stop talking to me i was like um no i'm not doing anything my is he like our age no he's like did he ask for your number yeah he asked me he hands me his phone okay because i think you thank you you do you say i'm sorry i don't give my number to greek i know i realized that after but i didn't put my last name in which is good i just put lauren okay um did he text you no because he was too drunk because when we landed

when we landed in la he like woke up from his slumber and didn't look at me or talk to me again so i actually think he was like blacked out was he ordered drinks on the plane no because he just fell asleep immediately how do you get that drunk at an airport bar we had a delay in miami uh so we didn't take off for like an hour and a half he sprints up to the gate when we're leaving making sure that we didn't fly away but we had the delays my mom wait wait i was picturing like everyone knows there's a delay obviously because you're like not blacked out and he like runs up to the gate and like collapse on his knees he's like no that's essentially what happened so then i don't know there there was we did establish some like at first it was funny but then he just

started being kind of creepy and it was did you see that guy who missed his flight and he grabbed the he grabbed the intercom he was like y'all need to get up here like we got some people up here trying to get up on the plane and the plane was like gone like it didn't matter my mom said that she was do you remember that day that uh all like like microsoft was down or something all the planes were fucked like the atlanta airport had like fires in it yeah it was like a total shit job my mom we were both flying that day i got out early but she said she her plane was delayed like eight hours and by the time it was boarding like everyone had just started going to the airport bar like the whole flight was just hammered by the time they were boarding everyone

was like yeah like at the moment they were like we're now boarding everyone like like the boarding people start like fucking yeah and everyone on the plane was like high fiving and just shit-faced and ordering drinks and that's awesome yeah which was her worst nightmare but sounds like a blast honestly yeah i i did that before my flight to amsterdam when i was going abroad uh got delayed like four times you know that bruins bar at logan like it's like bruins themed it's like it doesn't make sense why it is that way but you just it is a bruins bar and it was right across from my gate and so everyone kind of congregated at this bar and we're like getting hammered whatever that's fine for like an hour flight yeah but when you like get on a

flight and then it's like like flight time is like seven hours and 45 minutes and you're like oh fuck like we're all stuck on this plane yeah that sounds horrible um what else what else do i have um they're huge wait what did you guys do oh you had your fancy new year's party new year i danced with an 80 something year old woman she danced me out of my shirt twice what's that mean so like she kept spinning me or maybe i was spinning her but like when you do that she had vertigo it untucks your shirt okay and like that's not a great look if you're like where if the rest of your outfit is a tuxedo but like the shirt's untucked so your shirt didn't come off no no but like when i would spin this untucked like a lot of bellies showing and so i had to like

go to the bathroom and like retuck it and then i would come out and she's like another dance and i'd be like yeah let's get in there who was this lady i i heard she was part of the walgreens family but i don't know if that's true she was she was 85 really good at dancing and her number i'm spoken for but um that was a test it was media training but no she yeah she was i did not get her number but we i was on better behavior this year i think i redeemed myself a little bit oh i forgot yeah last new year's was the worst night of your life everyone in our house got norovirus i was the only i was one of there were like eight people in the house and four of them got it so not everyone but 50 i don't want that are you familiar with the world last week

hand up um so this is just a new thing no it's been it's like just it's a fancy name for like the stomach flu basically it comes out of both ends you like can't control which end it's coming out of and flu yeah yeah they do that peter was using the bathroom by the front door okay and the house is very open so what is this a house of your friends it was harper's parents house got it and uh and so at like four in the morning it just sounded like he was watching like jurassic park on like full blast oh and uh yeah i narrowly bought it but i had like a do you ever get sick and you can you can immediately pinpoint like that's when it happened yeah right before peter got the symptoms we were all eating wings together and i go peter can you put a wing on my plate and the

whole the whole thing that happens is either poop or throw up from the sick person is still on their hands and then they touch something and then you touch your mouth and so it was like the one food that we shouldn't have all been eating yeah and i somehow just didn't eat the part that peter touched with his fingers didn't you lick his butt that night though so how would that have worked right really but like talking about eating like a licking of her like a licking of the butt you ever done that uh i can't reach that far i think i'd have to get like ribs removed like a dog that's the thing that dogs do that we pretend is normal but we should probably nip that in the bud we do it walking like you walk into your dog just like going to town on their like their own crotch

yeah we had a dog that would hump everyone but she was a girl and so it was like i think they call it a power bottom she was like it was more like grinding if anything but it was like she wasn't very good at it so she'd be humping but like her crotch would be like a foot away from like your leg so like she had she really had the grasp with the top legs but then the back was just like but it was like it was like really far away i don't particularly care i can pick you try and lick your ear well if you can get all the other stuff i wrote down you could like tell she was about to do it because she would start licking your ear oh and so like to the average person it's like oh like hide like like the dog's being very affectionate but that was like a telltale

sign like it was about to start happening so you she would start licking like a guest's ear and you'd have to like rip that rip her off of them they'd pick what's wrong you're like the firework show is about to start uh wait i feel like they're well i had the worst pitch of all time oh no no wait well it's not gonna be your pitch it's not my pitch it's just the worst business idea of all time yep single-use toaster you throw it away when you're done all right yeah that sucks uh what do you do for new year's uh we had people over at our place actually and we played uh games at your parents house no i was here in la oh um played games i would have came over but i went to bed at 10 yeah invited lauren she didn't come um why'd you go to bed at 10 sean what sean didn't

want to go out we went we went got sushi me my brother and troy and then we came home watched shut her out and then i fell asleep at 10 she went to the rose bowl though i feel like that's important yeah it was you wanted to feel good that yeah it was like christmas eve so we want it well not really yeah she went to the rose bowl that's why you were that makes so much okay i get it but i was like why was she in ohio she banged on my wasn't in ohio no i know in my head you were at ohio state oh i didn't know it was at the rose yeah it was sick oh i i ran into ben at halftime he looked so sad ben barrett yeah yeah because i'm wearing the he didn't even want to hug me i was like the barretts are the barretts are the last people you want to be around when

like their team isn't winning you look bummed i was there when the yankees weren't winning one time and it was like like i wanted to go home i was at sam's house and it was like bad yeah i went to yankee stadium for that bc football game we lost so how did they do that like was there any dirt on you know usually when they play on baseball feels like part of the field is dirt but it didn't look like there was any dirt on the dirt how did they make that had all oh they got rid of the the infield completely yes impressed i actually can't really picture it now but yeah I feel like you just put, like, a... They put turf over it, I think, maybe.

I don't know. In the middle of the field, like, there's, like, one mound. Yeah, yeah. There was still a pitcher for some reason. Do you want to, you know, the refs usually, like, do you want to go with the wind or away from the wind? They're like, do you want to go at the mound or from it? First baseline or third?

Yeah. But it was cool. I mean, BC's had this cool, last year we had a game in Fenway, and then this year it was in Yankee Stadium, so it's been fun going to those games. Was, like, the seating off? like were there some seats where you were just like a hundred yards away from the field a hundred percent yeah even where we were was a pretty strange place to be in but i feel like it'd be

fun at fenway like if you were sitting on the monster that'd be sick that's what i did last year oh really the bc football it was sick interesting but it was like behind the bench it was like a weird yeah it was it was killer though but yeah but we lost but next year's our year we got a four-star recruit from alabama so we're gonna beat you i uh i discovered a way to beat hangovers over new year's we call it the body of grist so we the we were out of pickles but the all the juice was still there and so we passed honestly now i'm so now that i'm telling these stories i'm starting to realize how everyone got the norovirus we were passing the jar of pickles around ton of electrolytes and drinking the pickle juice and going the body of grist and

then we all woke up and felt awesome wait what's the grist what's that i will admit we had taken an edible as well and so at the time it was very very funny i think that's like a pickle word right You would have... I don't think so. Is that a wording? I think you guys are... It's pointless for you to try and get to the bottom of it. It was funny in the moment.

The body of Greist. Oh, no. It's... Christine. Christine Marie Greist. I was like... Oh, I saw... Tell me.

I texted you guys, but I saw Andre 3000 on my street. Oh, yeah. I am 60% sure I saw him today, and I was listening. I swear to God. Oh, okay. Bullshit. I get one cool spotting, and now you fucking see him too? Sorry.

Wait, I actually think I saw him at the gym. No, you did not. Bullshit. He was not at your gym. Wait. Maybe. I was driving through Santa Monica today, and I was listening to Miss Jackson, which I never listen to, and this guy is jaywalking, and just in no rush to get out.

i have a green light i had no rush to um to get across and it was probably like recency bias because you had told me and because i was listening to one of his songs i am 60 sure it was andre that's not very that's not a very high percentage did he have facial hair or no he had a goatee did he have glasses or no uh he was wearing like a fun beanie you're just describing what he always wears i swear i swear to god you didn't see fucking wait so where did you see him I guess it doesn't matter. Let's hear his story. Apparently he's everywhere.

Yeah, apparently he's fucking everywhere. I saw him. I was coming back from a run, and I had my headphones in. And the run the day before, I had been listening to him, too. And I was right on my street. I was walking up my street. In that picture on the left, that is a very similar hat to what he was wearing. That's what he was wearing when I saw him.

That red hat? No, no, no. It was blue. Yeah, I'm not. Oh, there's his hat. That was him. I saw him this afternoon. Wow, he's amazing.

swear to god there's no way we both saw andre 3000 this week do you realize that you're ruining my story now so my okay i think it's i'll tell a different story that i'll tell a different story on new year's eve uh me and all my friends passed around a really big pickle jar and we called it the broggy of blice and we didn't we felt so not hungover that we actually felt even we ran a marathon the next day i actually like that better yeah that's probably better than his story better one and tell us how you saw um i danced with a 90 year old woman on new year's eve and she took and she spun your pants off fuck you i saw andre 3000 i saw him too so how'd you see him my fucking eyes he already said it

i was walking down my street and he was walking down and he walked right by me i went i like stop dead my tracks and uh it's gotta be cool to be that like that famous but that like you you haven't seen andre 3000 recently where i know every time he's walking around it's no one's coming up to him because they're not positive i couldn't believe i mean yeah i was like is that fucking andre 3000 there's no way it's on our 2000 and then i went yeah and then i went and googled him and guess where he lives venice beach not brentwood so well this was in santa monica this was this afternoon um this was this afternoon yeah i just i was coming back from the parking office this was the morning we didn't meet at 11 30 i called you i said i'm going to the parking

office before i'll be there at 11 30 so it wasn't this afternoon okay we're off by i'm just saying your story's all over the place it feels like near the promenade uh whatever the street is that like goes through fourth i don't know maybe um i'm sorry buddy i didn't mean to i didn't mean to take your story but i did see him while you were listening to miss jackson yes sorry miss jackson that's a better story wait what was the other thing you said about how the other about big boy sings if it's all is that was that a prank is that true no that yeah the other guy from outcast big boy did if it's all right i want to kick it with you that song feels too cheesy to i agree it's too recent it came out like yeah like 10 years yeah it was a very weird one-off

sort of um i was at the car wash a couple days ago and they give you your receipt and then when your car woody harrelson sister all right all right i'll drop it and they yeah um so they give you a receipt and you're supposed to hold on to it which is something they should tell you at the top be like here's your receipt don't throw this out because the first thing i do whenever i get a receipt just throw it out and when your car is ready they go like black jeep black jeep and you like walk over to the like white bmw i don't know i shouldn't do the accent but they do that is really racist i i will say it was a bad enough accent that you can't even picture the first one was fine i'm picturing the guy yeah what is it what is he

hot if you had to guess what race that indian no see that's how bad it was it wasn't even close i would have said indian um but they he goes black jeep black jeep and i go and i go over room and i say thank you and he goes like can i see your receipt and i was like oh i threw it out and the look on his face was like i was the first guy to ever do this and it was the worst mistake anyone's ever made he was like all right i gotta go talk to some guys left my car is blocking in the rest of the car wash who had their receipt and is ready to go and at first it looks like okay maybe there's like something going on but then when there's a guy just standing next to his car on his phone like taking his sweet time no one thought like okay maybe they're not letting

him leave yeah and so people start honking and they all of their windows rolled up and i was just like i don't that guy like he has my receipt and the one guy started doing this to me it was a nightmare and then finally he came out and he was like all right and handed them to me like he still wasn't sure but he was gonna take the chance on me damn i mean i guess maybe people steal cars at car washes yeah but the guy whose car it would be would would see all this commotion and be like oh nope sorry that's mine yeah i mean i think i'm sorry that that happened do you know who i miss seeing a little bit i didn't like it in the moment but i kind of miss seeing him now that we don't work there anymore a little dicky we used to see him like every afternoon yeah wait why he

used to work on he's always with like a really good a green leaf oh i didn't know that i always yeah i always saw him at like arowana or whatever but he knows this one construction whatever but he was doing construction he was he was always with this like giant entourage and i just always think it's fun to see like hollywood guys that like i don't roll with a crew i need to start rolling with a crew lately started rolling with a ragtag misfit group of toys no but they they have to be clearly not your friends okay like have you seen like mark walberg's crew pull up mark walberg's entourage uh or don't use entourage full of mark walberg's like crew wait why is that like it's just the show entourage it's guys that are clearly like not his boys it's like they all

clearly do something for him yeah like they're like i like don't know what you're referring like his security people like it's just clear that like they aren't his boys they're like because are no no the one i'm thinking of they're white because they're white it's just i need to have guys that it looks like they're there's an assistant it looks like there's a bodyguard it looks like there's a manager you know what i mean like yeah i want to start rolling with a crew more all right we make that happen um we i got something to say please what the south got something to say that's a hundred three thousand quote oh fan uh bird hiking what is that oh yeah i saw a bird hiking yesterday the bird was hiking well the lady had a backpack these people are

walking by us on the trail and i just hear like i was like where the fuck is that bird lady had a bird cage with straps it's awesome on her back hiking with her parakeet oh but it's not that that almost made me sad i was like you gotta let that shit free yeah well no he'd he'd die and look at that yeah i guess at this point why would that why does that make you sad it's like that thing should just be flying around the mountain you shouldn't have to take it up right right that'd be like that'd be like uh me putting you in like a cage and like walking you through like yeah like putting like a fish in like a fish in a cage and like going swimming with it or something i don't know it felt very strange but oh i got another one um

zach bryan said he's starting a podcast oh my god and he came at us and said every white kid from the suburbs should start a podcast right so he's from japan though well he grew up he grew up in suburban oklahoma oh he's born in japan but he's from okinawa he's like born on like a navy base in japan oh you thought he was from japan yeah i thought it was i thought it was just like fun thing about him well when did he say that stupid thing put it on his instagram story someone say you follow him again i can't follow him but someone's right sent me a screenshot people keep me in the loop i have a few people in my network that will let me know can you imagine if our company had drama like the other podcast companies do yeah i mean like you and i need the liam angus

fallout is pretty bad like i feel like we've at least kind of stopped you and i need to have a fallout yeah we did we're gonna have a fallout i thought remember the script for march oh right right right also what is up with all these british comedians where do they come from james corden trevor noah john oliver they just get like huge tv shows i've never heard of them britain it's like how that robbie thomas guy or robbie williams guy is like massive over there but we've never heard that movie is apparently he's doing awful movie he has a biopic about him where he's a monkey oh i heard about this and it's doing not good apparently oh wingspan i got a new board game called wingspan oh yeah will texted me i called will and he goes hey man sorry

i can't talk right now in the middle of a big game of wingspan and that implies that i know what wingspan is and that that's a game that everyone plays it's like a bird strategy game it's a bird game you know board games it's a bird game is there someone behind you that's what i'm wondering hello hello hello hello hey hey guys is there someone back there elmo back here it's like if elmo is someone about to jump out and freak out wait um it's a dogmatic monk wait i can hear someone i think they just you can hear someone's shoe yeah that creaking that's lauren oh okay all right um do we got anything else before we want to get into the rm where i was just telling you about wingspan oh sorry that was so rude that's i do that a lot

no you didn't no you don't you do it once or twice cool look yeah look at images it's so pretty oh wait you play it by yourself no oh you could though but that would be kind of depressing comes with all these little beans i play it with my friends those are eggs first of all birds don't lay beans can you eat them uh you can't eat but i got it for christmas for my sister and at first i was like what the hell is this and uh then i got kind of i was like all right this actually looks kind of cool started playing it me jerry and scott played it last week it was a fucking blast scott and i played it again the next day i'm super into it and then we were we kind of still thought it was like this like super niche like funny thing that ended up being actually fun

and then on saturday uh i said it i brought it up around chris powers and chris powers goes i was like yeah christmas pretty awesome he was like how's your christmas i was like great i got wingspan we've been playing that he's like oh i had wingspan on my list and i didn't get it and i was like what he's like i had wingspan on my christmas list i didn't get it i was pissed i was like what do you he has like he definitely has enough money to get his own wingspan definitely but anyway so apparently it's like a hot board game right now nice um so if you guys want to play i know we're talking about i'll play we've been floating doing like live streams yeah play date where we played board games i was gonna suggest that for you um so this would be a good

one i will say you inviting me to play that reminds me of the fact that will and i were in maine at the same time and every time i asked will to hang out he didn't want to yeah because you were always at a bar i don't drink during the holidays with my family that's not a judgment i just you kept me like you want to come to this bar and i was like i like watch soccer i know but it's like when i'm home for a week with my family like i'm doing like things with my family that's i called him i go you want to come watch the premier league with it was boxing day which is like the best day to watch premier league soccer and i go hey me and lewis and phil are at the uh portland zoo if you want to come watch some watch some footy and he goes uh no i have to go hike on

my land that's a real my parents bought six acres in mid-coast maine it's a cranberry bog and so a better way you have to hike through your land well we didn't really we went we went to the land and then we did a hike like in the area you can't i mean it's not enough land to like do a viable hike but yeah i was hiking with my family and the other time i was playing ice hockey with my family i feel like i i'm with you every week i get one week at home with my family i don't have any expectation of seeing you it's not personal you didn't invite me to the christmas party either we didn't have a christmas party well he didn't invite me well okay that's true but but we did yeah the marsh behind our uh house froze over it was so fucking oh so that's the land that you guys

own no no that's like by where my parents like actually live where we got this land a couple hours north um but yeah they found out it's a cranberry bog my mom harvested a bunch of cranberries delicious so i might get it dude your family's rich enough to have a cranberry bog the funny part oh this just in white guy with a podcast uh doesn't need the money because his family owns a cranberry bog we didn't know it was a cranberry bog when we bought it so we my my dad took my aunt up there he's like a gardener and he's like what do you think he's like yeah it's cool land she's like you know that's all cranberries in there wait so a bog is the same as a farm no no a ball it's like cranberries a bog is like a holler

cranberries grow halfway between a hole in water oh wait have you guys seen my old ass with aubrey plaza oh okay yeah i was like i mean i've gotten glances in passing but i've never i try not to well in that our hr department told me to stop looking at lauren's old ass um the in have you seen will's young ass it's that thing is tight heroin herky in this movie the family owns a cranberry farm oh wait arby paul's husband dying i know let's not talk about that wait yeah look i mean it doesn't quite it's not like i mean so the way they do it in like the large scale playing a dangerous game my old ass cranberry bog look this is from the movie yes like the way they do it in like large

scale cranberry bog operations is that they're really easy to harvest because you just kind of shake all the bushes and then the cranberries come off and they float to the surface because it's in like shallow water we don't really have enough to justify that but my mom did a bunch of cranberries she made a great like tart she made cranberry chutney and then like a like a very good cake with it so my my game plan now is to podcast for five more years and then take over the family bog and then take over the family bog and sell cranberries they're selling in the grocery store for ten dollars a pound so right i would need how many pounds do you guys have i don't know probably it would probably be really hard to make a living off of yeah i think there's a reason

most people aren't doing it yeah but i could my friend tried to call our peter tried to call harper's brother a nepo baby but he didn't know the term and he called him a nego baby oh yeah i didn't think about that but we were all making fun because his brother his brother immediately turned back around and was like one that's not the term and two you work for your dad and so he's like throwing he's like throwing stones from a glass house wait this is who said this peter peter peter thought the term was nego baby we should probably stop is throwing stones from a glass house is that a saying yeah yeah wait from a glass house like if you live in a glass house you shouldn't be throwing stones yeah oh um i mean like if you came at me about having bad

breath yeah be like right yeah like lauren yours lauren says like lines come out of it it was like edge said to me the other day he was like oh my god what yeah he was like we should get lauren like thoroughbreath no no no he said something about like being a dick he's like why don't you stop being a dick yeah something about glass houses yeah he goes when have i ever been a fucking dick to you yeah you're doing it he had one a couple months ago that really cracked me up because it was clear it was clear you know when something happens to like you would be the equivalent of like a dad getting yelled at at work so he comes home and yells at his kids yeah and the kid goes to school and bully whatever it was clear someone had told edge that something he

was doing was a bad look okay because he came into our office and i was sitting with my feet up but i had my laptop it was like that's a very normal thing to do i feel like in this office like everyone works with their feet up whatever he goes this is a bad look for you and then left and i was like okay that was weird and then i heard him go into someone else's office and tell what they were doing was a bad look he's just unleashing i was trying to figure out like what could he possibly have been doing that someone was like this is a bad look for you then he was like i need to go tell other people um i sent you guys this the other day but i want to tell the players and i have updated it a lot of people are doing new year's resolutions this year that's

not what i'm doing i'm doing new year's roadmap okay where it's just i've already mapped out my year so this podcast has two fucking right now literally shoot me i've already mapped out my year and i think if i check all these off i can objectively say it will be the best year of my life does a roadmap imply that there's like an order no okay i'm gonna memorize every country in the world i'm already like 80 of the way there give me one prove it seychelles it's good uh i'm gonna learn how to solve a four by four rubik's cube so i can do three and it's getting kind of like and it doesn't give me the same stem i'm gonna build something out of wood maybe a chair maybe a duck maybe something like that can you build me something yes duck i'm gonna do a 72

hour fast i'm gonna give more high fives why can i ask yeah why do you want to do that uh to push my body to its limits i also also apparently you lose like 15 pounds so i could just get all of my dieting over in three days yeah but then you're gonna binge no you can't you have to like ease that's the hardest part is like when you're done you can't immediately like go eat whatever you want you have to like ease your way back in can you just do this not when we're recording yeah i feel like you'll be really grumpy i think you know i think i'll have to like take a day off of work and do like friday saturday sunday but apparently you're supposed to do it when you have a lot of shit to do because otherwise you're just sitting there being like i'm so hungry yeah that

makes sense but i did 26 the other day just to like test the waters and after 24 my body convinced itself it wasn't hungry which was scary okay and i was super anxious like i was hearing like no it was weird great yeah definitely triple that uh i'm gonna fake i'm gonna make a full court basketball shot okay that feels achievable i'm gonna learn the names this is another resolution less of a goal i'm gonna learn the names of people i see every day like i i talked to like her what's your name like i see all i see the same like baristas and like parking guys every day i think it would be nice to know their names i think that's awesome when there's like have you ever like been with someone you're walking through their neighborhood and they're like hey mike yep that's

fucking awesome or like they're doing what sparked this was a guy walked into the coffee shop i go to every day yeah and they were like they were like ryan the yuge because they know what i get but they don't know my name got it um i'm gonna read a book okay just one what do you want to read do like a of mice of men or something no because i've already read part of that okay um i'm gonna volunteer i'm gonna go to the soup kitchen once wait you want to come with me i know i'm i also is that like the right term for that feels outdated no that's right i signed up to start volunteering at a dog shelter in sawtelle can i come with you one time yeah all right i'll check that off dog dog charities piss me off you have to do why yeah you enter this one he hates them

because he thinks that that it's like a waste of resources that could be going towards human there's so many human related things to figure out first i know i'm being like the grinch and i I think it's great that you're doing that. When are you going next? I have to do the trainings online. There's like a lot of trainings to get through, actually. I'm going to grow a pirate mustache and goatee again. I thought that was very fun last year.

I want to do it again. Cool. I'm going to go to Hawaii. I'm going to make the perfect burrito. Okay. And I actually have started, I made some headway. You know I've been talking about how the burritos here suck? Yeah.

I've made some headway on it. I got a very interesting lead. I tracked down a guy who knows Bruce's wife. Who's Bruce's? oh the guy from the guy from maine that makes the perfect burrito i found a connection to his wife who's maybe gonna tell me to do it i think what i realized is it's a sweet chili sauce that's what i missed that's what i liked about the burritos there's a sweet chili sauce and the tortilla like did you figure out the no okay uh i'm gonna make i'm gonna get a painting of my bedroom for

my bedroom that one i love and in the painting there's gonna be the painting i think that'd be funny to be like what's that and then the prison goes over and it's like oh it's just the room oh you know it'd be funny you get a picture in the painting there's a person looking at the painting so when they go to look they're in the painting there we go and then the final one i'm gonna catch a fly with chopsticks that one's impossible well no i'm gonna rig it small room big chopsticks that's good that's a good idea dude my dad can shoot a bee with a rubber band or like a fly with oh that's awesome we had one of those salt guns at a restaurant i worked at same dude oh i think we talked about did you also get like power hungry got like carried away i'm

also like no more salt i don't we can have flies now this is because we had like a wreck we had like a score sheet in the back like yeah i killed 85 flies last shift the health inspector comes in and was like whoa i'm glad you're getting rid of them but why are there so many it's like genocide dude they we the same thing happened we got we got like blood thirsty and then we're also like kind of neglecting the work yes that's what it was like lines were accumulating because like half the staff was in the back shooting each other I think your roadmap is good

I'm excited to follow along do you think if I completed all the that's gotta be the best year of my life right yeah 2015 was good I mean I barrel rolled a plane this year so that's kinda hard to be maybe I barrel roll a helicopter this year ooh yeah or barrel roll a boat

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and get your products delivered right to your door. Visit dollarshaveclub.com slash playdate and use promo code PLAYDATE for 20% off your order of $20 or more. And remember, whatever you shave, welcome to the club. Let's get back into the episode. Roadmap, guys. We have a lovely episode for you guys today. We are going to hear your pitches followed by our pitches,

and then we are going to do everyone's favorite segment, This Guy Rocks, This Guy Rocks, This Guy Rocks Today. What? You don't like that one? No, I just don't like the roadmap. Oh. Can I ask why? I don't know, I thought it was part of my character now. No, I know, but if you were listening to a podcast,

wouldn't you want to know what was going to happen an hour and 20 minutes in? Yeah, you're right. I love you, and I love all your episodes. I love you too, buddy. I love how your brain works. I will say... Good haircut, too.

Should we ever do the roadmap first? We used to. We used to not do any banter. Yeah. We used to do no banter. Back when we were awkward. Dude, that first... Like 60 seconds in.

All right. All right. um dude someone commented on will posted that video of us kissing and a bunch of the comments were like wait i thought they were brothers really multiple i kissed my brother on the lips all the time we make out nice i'm kidding and then we're gonna do teach me something and then lauren you got a couple am i the assholes for us yep and then we will and i have three drafts for you today i guess the first one's not really a draft because we each have 10 but uh 2025 ins and outs we're gonna tell you what's in what's out and then we're gonna do bowl games that don't exist

like football bowl games that don't exist yeah and touchdown celebrations you meant football bowl games yours is like spin the spoon yeah eat the cereal bowl toss smoke the weed smoke the weed and then we're gonna do touchdown celebrations that don't exist which somehow i'm not i didn't notice that either of those were or both of those were football until now well hey football's on the mind it's the playoffs in college and the nfl and what a great season for us to celebrate a sport that we all love and have grown up around i love you all right let's hear our pitches lauren i also have two pitches today what that's awesome myself no i know that came out like i was like mad about it but i more of them just you have two pitches that you came up with yep why don't you do one

today and one for next episode no no no i want your mall you don't want no i'm just saying i want to keep i like that lauren's we're good this is this is a rare by this time next year i my prediction is that lauren will be doing every segment i think she'll be sitting here and i will be producing that'd be fun like we're gonna have like a new guy right here a new and the new guy yeah that is funny when when podcasts grow like the producer like leaves and like a new producer comes in yeah like they're like a character i know we should get like um a really really like a like a hot guy all right wait lauren set a set a calendar thing on your calendar for a year from today okay and we're gonna play this clip and we're gonna predict

we're gonna predict um how many listeners we're gonna have 55 five how many do we have now an episode like 30 000 around 30 000 a little less okay uh i'm gonna say if we aren't at 150 000 we have failed i think a hundred thousand would be a good goal yeah okay a hundred thousand it would be that'll be hard to attain really yeah honestly i kind of i kind of like this for a year and a half i kind of like the playmates now i don't even know if i want new ones because even some people that get in our comments on instagram i'm like you're not a playmate i'm not playing it that's like rainbow kitten surprise not to bring them up but because i love them why not to bring them up well because you don't like there you don't like what what do

you say nothing are you trying to hint that i'm like a transphobe no i actually when i first said it i meant like i feel like i talk about them a lot but then i realized that's what you thought i meant that's what i kind of doubled that no uh for the record i'm not a transphobe i know not that's not like a i know that's not a fun rumor to start it's not like a silly one i'm sorry i'm sorry i um i make you know i hate them just as much as i hate everyone else because they're white uh yeah i only hate the white ones uh no okay no what am i trying to fucking say they always said when they were coming up they're like we don't ever want to be like a big band like we don't want to ever like make it too far past like general admission venues or something right and

then they kind of did like they just went on like a long hiatus i don't know if it was related like right as they were sort of yeah reaching like i feel like they've like mediated there but i get that like as an artist like i feel like doing like a show with like real like true fans that know all the words and stuff in like a small venue where everyone's like general admission feels like a cooler thing to be able to do night in and night out than like stadiums full of people that you can't even see we should go into the back end of like youtube and spotify and rewrite the code so if there's ever an episode that gets too many views it self-destructs okay the podcast ends yeah we have to we start a new one okay yeah we call it um playwright playmate podcast

will and rusty's playwright there's like shakespeare's in the corner he's like hawk hawk too hawk too summer's night and i haven't read any of it yeah i meant uh i read shakespeare or listen to it me i read it you actually read shakespeare all the time no like in fucking college in high school oh mr fucking big brain over here i went to high school mr big brain went to high school lauren and i were fucking getting laid what did you guys do in college you didn't read or high school i guess christ school christ school i don't remember what i read i blacked in high school i was just like bonging beers and like fucking slapping ass grabbing ass i was okay don't get me wrong i was grabbing it i went i went you slowly

read as i went to college with dogs smelling ass playing with toys fetch chewing on playing tug of war running around like in circles wearing collars yeah walking in circles before i went to bed anyway what was i fucking scratching myself getting fleas off you already said it that it rainbow kitten surprise liked it when it was oh yeah so i think we should emulate that but we do have to pay the bills i don't think this podcast quite pays our salaries yet no you always you always say that though but we do other things that do correct but i think we both would love to get to a place where this was enough so that we didn't have to do anything else.

They would never let us do that. We want to, though. I want to only do this. No, I'm just saying that we'd have the, yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be fun to just be that we only, we come in twice a week, chat for two hours. And I just spend the rest of my, go and play Bird Wingspan.

Bird Wingspan. That sounds awesome. All right, Lauren. All right. Oh, yeah, this thing. Okay. Yeah, the thing we do. Oh, yeah, also.

Should we do? We're going to two episodes a week. Are we allowed to announce that yet? We already have. yeah starting monday the first monday episode which will be a weekly thing is january 27th yep so monday's wednesdays monday's and wednesdays lovely you're like asking us i'm like what all right all right pitches first one is from adam west he says hi lauren the swashbuckler

and the peacemaker nice okay that feels like a shot of my past what does no one have until they are 25 health insurance uh that's a good one a dog no um car rental yes the ability to make decisions since you have to decide develop until you're 25 yeah since we have to decide on colleges first jobs etc etc before we are 25 why not have an app that makes that easier my idea is pro condo an app that makes pros and cons of every decision and ranks each love the pod fellows and lauren wasn't it until the ranking part yeah i mean that's your yes i went to the university of south carolina with the girl who beat will to being class president oh that's awesome caroline funk you had you went to a dark place there for

a second you said it you were like he's a sweet person i think we i think we met one time late years later and squash the beef i love that because i would use that now i guess i'm not 25 but i would use that now because i will forget what i'm trying to decide yeah but what is how does the pro condo i guess we keep it high level yeah i like it so let's let's let's flesh this out a little bit will tell me something that you're struggling with right now and i'll compete i'll be pro convo um something i'm struggling with right now i am struggling with uh how to find a lady dating pros of dating women i'm not just like struggling with the idea of dating women around cons women around women are around common con some of them around

pro women are around cons some of them are around no pros i'm not struggling with whether i'm going to date it's pros some of some of them will kiss you cons well i feel like you don't actually want to date anyone maybe that's just your thing that's my thing i don't date anyone yeah that's will bro you didn't hear about willie doesn't date anyone like maybe no i don't i don't want maybe you're trying to conform to societal i think what it is i think what i've decided is that i've i lack confidence in like myself maybe i don't outwardly display that but like i feel like i have to figure out myself first before i would like trust anyone to love me yep is that crazy

no the the i have a similar thing like i'll be like i'm sabotaging this but i think it's just because we don't like each other ourselves i feel like yeah like i like don't like i don't want to like i don't know you don't want to i mean that's like giving myself too much credit but i just want her to no i don't want to like i feel like i'm like so volatile in my like emotions and like what i'm into and like the day-to-day i'm not a consistent enough person day-to-day that i feel like it's not conducive to being in a relationship so i think i got to figure that out because it would just drive someone insane i'll say you've got this speech down this is this could be a good this is like what do you mean like that i feel like that's

what like a guy says to a girl yeah it's like i kind of sound like a manipulator i just don't it's like dude i just like i want to be able to give you my all and like that's why it sounds like douchey but i do think there's truth to it right i don't mean it but like no that's for sure because you're not allowing yourself to get into something that you but i'm also just holding what i don't even know at this point are you still hooking up with anyone uh yeah and then what and i'm going i'm going on dates and stuff what is like what is like a typical date look like for you you want to role play it um wait are you gonna see a hot chip girl again yeah oh really yeah so it is you it is going well yeah i'm just i just i mean i can't talk about this on the

podcast yeah someone that i'm actively going on dates with where are you gonna take her next i don't know where she's got she's out of town for a long time so she's out of town for a long time she's from canada she goes to another school no no i don't know i just i don't know i don't know what it is i just feel like every time i just i get like several dates in and then i just get cold feet and it never has anything to do with the person right but maybe it's just like i haven't found the wrong i mean this current situation it's like i haven't even gotten to the point of like knowing whether to make that decision but i'm just scared that i'm gonna have the same realization or something well it's also like the longer you

date someone then it's like oh now if i wanted to end this i would have to like be a thing yeah as opposed to like one or two dates you can just stop talking to them i feel like yeah i don't know i just gotta i guess if it's the right person then that wouldn't be an issue but i also think there are things i just gotta figure out better in my life will's like will's like being super like open right now and lauren's just like fucking cracking up and eating her loud ass lunch i don't know why i'm sorry um i'm not laughing at you she's laughing with you about what is so funny about my fucking romantic failures what laugh no laugh tell me tell me you've been dating a guy for several years so what's so funny about someone who can't have what

you have sorry i'm chewing beef and i don't want to talk you yeah exactly that's the problem i want i need someone in my life who chews beef yeah yeah lauren lauren we said we want to hear about the relationship not the bedroom we don't want to hear about you chewing his beef ew so there i was chewing beef dude she came over last night chewed beef yeah but anyway i think i'm getting there i think i'm making good i want to hear what lauren thought was so funny about will being honest and open i'm eating it's been the same bite for 45 seconds i don't know man i think i think you getting a girlfriend has really lit a fire under my ass really together yeah what's a little everyone in my life is dating someone that's the other problem

yeah when i go and all my roommates started going like it was like oh fuck we have to start both of my roommates both of my podcasters uh you still haven't met my girlfriend which is crazy trying to keep it yeah can we have like a fun little night out she thinks it's bizarre she hasn't met will and i think so that is bizarre yeah yeah i don't know i think we should go i think we had so many fun nights the five of us should go up not in the january i don't mean like you're doing dry january wait we can yeah i you don't think we can like go to dinner or something i know we can go to dinner yeah oh yeah and bring your lady oh let's get margs i want a marg right now we're gonna we're gonna make you relapse do it i'm not really why you're not an alcoholic

no i know but i really don't like drinking i really want to stop drinking you did this last year too i know i did it almost i know but you're so much more fun when you're drinking i don't know i just think the anxiety gives me is like it's just it fucks up like other facets of my life like it makes me the most destructive thing in the world so unproductive with everything else that like i don't know i want to like take work more seriously and like grow in like that sense and i want to like get like healthier and i think it's so easy to just i don't know i feel like the hangovers would get so bad now where it's like if i go out on like a saturday it's like i'm not like fully with it yeah take out lauren said if she goes out on friday she's grumpy on

monday yeah i don't know well i don't go out anymore i don't really go out i just said i just like set boundaries for myself too like okay i i feel like i only go out and in drink enough to the point where i'm hung over if i'm going to like a show but if i'm just gonna go out to like a bar then i'll be like okay i can have like three drinks yeah i don't yeah i mean i don't know i think i just i at least want to do january i already feel like this weekend was like awesome and i feel like great today and i just want to feel that yeah i didn't really do anything this weekend i had four beers yesterday but that was the only thing i had this weekend yeah i don't know i i but i think that's i think how did you meet this

current lady uh mutual friends nice you have those i have me i need to make mutual friends i know northwestern mutual friends i don't know there's just there i think i think this is gonna be a good month for me of self-exploration can you start drinking in february though i don't want to i don't want to say that yet but i'm i'm probably will but i don't want to to support your journey no i do i do i do too i do too but i i will say i love like watching sports and having a beer with you like at a bar yeah i know but i don't think i need to have a beer to be fun i know but if it's just you and i and i'm the only one having beers and you're not yeah i mean also we can never have those giggly hangovers anymore if you're not

those are the those ones are fun but they're born out of like anxiety about everything else that makes everything we had the best day of our lives hung over though at epcot yeah yeah yeah i mean there's definitely things i will there's definitely situation yeah i don't know i just think i feel like i'm like i feel like i'm gonna listen to this back and be like oh you're really manipulating well no you're not manipulating me it's i don't know i mean it's also been fucking four five days so like what am i talking about you're like talking about like i'm like sober but it's literally i drank on new year's eve so i don't i don't know i just think i want i definitely want to do january and i don't want to like say like february 1st um firing it back up

like i want to see i want to run like i signed up for two races this spring that i want to like try to get good times who are you gonna race like like a road race it's not like i signed up for like 1v1 call someone out i'm doing like a 10k in april on a half marathon i know i was trying to be funny um i'm sorry i just didn't expect that out of you not because you're a woman not because you're a woman because you're you i'm kidding that was mean i was just trying to make i was trying to push you down to lift myself up it is funny that it's been four it's been like four or five days i know but i feel like i'm thinking about it yeah i don't know see this was me when i started yeah uh sober october and then you're like you're having all these like

profound and then by the halloween party i was like all right i'm yeah i don't know what i don't know what i'm talking about no it's great but i'm trying to yeah i'm doing damp january and i'm like soaking wet no there's no there's no i'm gonna do no weed no drinking during the week that's good oh yeah but that doesn't feel like damp that feels like normal no well no i feel like damp implies like weed too no no i don't know they're playing stickball outside um wait it implies what no i feel like damp sounds wet like i feel like there should be a word that's like halfway to dry musty i'm gonna do dank january musty danger dank january is like there it was wet at one point it was yeah because the problem with me is is when i just do like

edibles during the week i get all of the negatives of drinking through snacks like the caloric i can deal with the hangovers i don't care about anything the only thing that my drinking makes too mad is that i gain weight yeah i mean that's also yeah all right should we hear a second pitch yep what's worse i did on saturday i i went to a darts tournament where everyone was drinking and i brought where the hell did you find a darts tournament darts tournament.com actually i was at armando yeah i saw that did he not get the invite i saw a lot of our co-workers in that story i'm like damn it's an exclusive club i didn't i don't want to be there anyway but i wouldn't have gone but i would have liked to have the option i don't know what to tell you who was there i saw was

chris powers there i like stopped the video i was like trying to see sounds killer who else was there uh edge kenward armand chris powers me jerry scott a couple of armand's buddies what the fuck it's a darts group you wouldn't have gone anyway i wouldn't have gone but i would have liked to have had the option yeah you weren't like hey jack there's a huge darts tournament we're all like i got personally invited by the host and it was like a small thing there was like 10 people there wait you guys i couldn't just text everyone i know i'm gonna have the also like i feel like i'm gonna have a i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna have that kind of relation with our mom like i feel like i have that kind of relation never seen him outside of the office

that's like i've hung out with him outside the office i am going to i'm gonna have a bowling tournament and invite everyone except for you Armand Edge Kenward I want to come Jerry Jerry's still coming Fred opened a box of pizza that was fully sealed with tape and ate a piece before we could get to it oh we just won

oh there were three dogs at the party oh my god he's getting better he's getting cooler Dylan Walker was there that's where I draw the fucking line he's still coming to my bowling tournament but the rest he's too killer that guy fucking rocks yeah I literally I was gonna

say i had trip i brought triples to it oh and they were hit nice and all the people that were doing dry january oh my god well if you had my oh we get it you had my favorite fucking drink at a fucking darts tournament without me i lost dylan walker's so fucking cool okay yeah all right let's see the next fucking pitch i bet it's like i got i bet it's like way to way to throw a party without letting your friend find out wait before i'm too busy hanging out with andre 3000 before where i say the second pitch troy got me the tiniest camera sorry tiniest camera you'll ever see what we both have tiny camophobia sorry go ahead like a gopro no it's i saw it on your i saw it on your fucking story

can i see it on my tiktok um yeah lauren president was like my boyfriend got me the cutest camera yeah we get it well yeah we got to be the perfect fucking partner literally this big and it's on my keychain now and it can take actual pictures and it has an sd card that you can plug in and i'm gonna take a good shot on it it's really cute i just wanted to i'm gonna take an up wait how big is it it's literally this big and it's just but you can fit it's a legit camera yeah it's a micro sd card i'm gonna take an up the pant leg shot of myself on it and then we develop all the cameras are all gonna be tarnished i'm gonna take a picture of my butthole nice on my phone you ever looked at your own butthole uh again i think it's like i have to get a few

ribs out i've only seen it once and it was not the color i thought it was gonna be i thought mine would be like really good looking and turns out it's full of poop mine just doesn't close it's like it's like a 24 hour 7-eleven that shit don't close lets anyone with a nickel in we're gonna be here until friday oh lauren lauren just found out about the normal work week she goes hi i gotta be here until friday fucking eight hours every day what is this bullshit uh all right all right all right thank you adam west next pitch is from rory williams irishman rory williams oh oh the troubles feels like your accent's better than mine i can only go oh oh i'm from

ireland jamie o'rourke was the laziest man in all of ireland guinness okay i get it early in the morning what's the jockey dandelion all right ready turn jamaican there for a second no what's going on jacqueline macon boy what what's going on snap crackle and pop you can decide amongst yourselves who is who crackle pop all right i'll be snap what is the worst idiot moron get dumb all right go get snapped what is the worst part about going to the movies uh having to pee cutting the hole in the bottom of the popcorn before will sees well got it what is it having to pee yeah always having to use the bathroom in the middle of the movie of course with movie times reaching three hours nowadays

it's getting significantly harder to make it the whole duration without taking a break during the movie and missing significant context or scenes the solution my app tinkle time this app works with movie theaters to allow viewers to sync their phones the movie so that they can stream it for the duration of but we already had this one no no no no did we yeah this exact one i don't remember this when was this sent uh 2009 wait no okay no i just screenshotted this then maybe someone sent the same one but we've had this picture well this is awesome nonetheless don't put my boy rory can i just finish it yeah all right well this one only lets you watch for 10 minutes max before shutting down with tinkle time you never have to stress or worry about uncomfortably

holding it in or missing the movie ever again why are we putting a time woman on it though so you can't poop so you can't just leave the theater and watch the rest of the movie on your phone yeah to prevent piracy hope you guys enjoyed the pitch and honey mustard is the supreme condiment yep uh gang i'm like i don't know about all that but i think rancher blue cheese i said gang gang gang what up squad gang gang all right i love it no i agree i think um what was the question do we like it yeah do you want do you want it yes i i want it i peed three times during wicked and i got popcorn twice so that means i got up from my seat five times i didn't get up once during wicked yeah well we had one bucket that was refillable and it was for the whole

family so i kept having to go refill it for the whole family all right new year new me and i'm leaving behind being a big stinkle stink ball like that guy from charlie brown i don't want to have little stink waves flying all out of me when i walk anywhere but there is one thing i'm bringing into 2025 to erase my stinkage and that is mando whole body deodorant seriously this stuff's awesome you put it everywhere and i mean everywhere i know what you're thinking i put it on in the morning i put it on before my hot dates and sometimes i put it on before bed just so i smell good to myself mando's sense i can't stress this enough delish yep they got i had one that was like some sort of oak i'm wondering if it says oh yeah clover woods

clover woods i was i'm a mount fuji guy i think i said this when i was a kid i got like rashes from the bad deodorants and stuff like that no more not again with mando it just it's natural it's good Did you know that 12 hours after a shower, the average man's grundle level is 5 out of 10? I actually did know that, and I don't. That is true. But with Mando, it's 0 out of 10. Send stink to the brink of extinction. Wow, they should fucking pay me for that.

They should hire you as a ghostwriter. I know. Want to try America's number one whole body deodorant formula right now? Find them in Walmart, Target, and other retailers across the country. And for the best deals, go to shopmando.com. And Mando's starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, Two free products of your choice, like mini body wash and deodorant wipes, and free shipping.

And as a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a starter pack with our exclusive code that equates to over 40% off your starter pack. Use code PLAYDATE at shopmando.com, S-H-O-P-M-A-N-D-O.com. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Smell fresher, stay drier, and boost your confidence from head to toe with Mando. Okay, when I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids, and I want to give back to the community. Ooh, then it's the vacation of a lifetime. I wonder if my head of office has a forever setting.

An IG Private Wealth Advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonize your business, your family, and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you at the center. Find your advisor at IGPrivateWealth.com. All right, who wants to hear Jack's pitch? Me. what is the worst part about uh pulling out onto a road i was gonna say get your mind what aiming it timing it getting it in your mouth having to slurp it up wait stop it pulling out onto a road onto a road like you're honest you're

pulling out into a busy road you need to catch up to their speed really fast you get blindsided and die in a car wreck close it's hard to gauge like when it's when the gap is safe enough to pull out into yeah i think that i know i know from experience you're no expert in pulling out oh yeah yep we got hit uh they got hit by a car thanks for letting me relive that will also my insurance company called will to make sure he wasn't also claiming he was injured i'm getting sued for like a hundred thousand dollars by this woman but i my insurance is covering it but it's they're paying it uh she was 95 at fault so if it's a hundred thousand dollars i only have to pay five thousand dollars which i'm covered up to ten thousand dollars damn but um that is so

funny that the third party that she hired came back and was like no you were 95 at fault and she was like fuck it still sue him um they're gonna just cover the lawyer yeah but uh i actually think towns and cities should start doing this if the speed limit like you know how fast cars should be traveling they should put a pole that is like uh you are safe to pull out until a car gets to this pole so you would be like you'd wait until a car wasn't at that pole and then you just pull out i like that idea although that does that would give you a false sense of security if the car was speeding which i feel like a lot of cars are speeding i think that's why there's lights sometimes getting on freeways like stop lights yeah i mean that's to prevent like traffic but

No, but, yeah, I mean, I think what you're saying is good, but maybe they put the pole an extra, like, however many yards to, like, count. Yeah, we can place it wherever we want. It's all right. I think we give some buffer, you know, if you want. The only time I ever got pulled over was turning left onto a thing, and I just, like, accelerated a bunch to catch up to speed, and then I guess I went over. Nice.

I didn't get a ticket down. Wait, that was your pinch? Mm-hmm. Uh, here's my pinch. Do-do-do-do-do pitch sesh. All right, here we go. uh what is i don't i don't have a way to phrase it like this it's a bike lock that is built into the frame of the bike yeah why do they not have that right because i i keep forgetting to bring

my bike lock or like my i don't have like a good i guess i need to buy like an attachment to like holster those have like wrap it around multiple they're always like way too long like a horseshoe like metal like it's not the bike should just have a horn on it yeah or no it has like a little thing that just like pops out yeah just like folds out of the bike perfect and it just latches around it why does that not exist it'd be so easy does that exist built-in bite look up built-in bike lock nope doesn't exist well done and then look up uh hottest swimsuit model 2025 yeah no god look it up no 2025 yeah all right look up horse backwards that is fun that is fun uh put a picture yeah put a picture of put a picture of me but it

It kind of doesn't look like me. Put a picture of shoes that are way too big. What's our next segment? Am I the asshole? Wait, no, I have a pitch. I'll just do one. Oh, that was so disappointing. No, I'm kidding.

We're excited. Jeez. Okay, I'll do it fast. What's the worst part? No, do it slow. What's the worst part about sleeping? Waking up. Falling asleep.

Having to return to life. you can't actually transport into the fantasy worlds that you're dreaming about so my pitch rookie pitch we've all done this oh my gosh tell us i've done this sorry that was that was super rude he's being i think he's doing his okay my pitch our fast my pitch is teletonin it's teleportation mixed with melatonin so it helps you fall asleep quick while simultaneously teleporting you to a new universe just like melatonin it eventually wears off but during your summer you get to experience the wildest of worlds in real time that sounds like a blast come on that's good i had a dream last night it was uh so like you know sometimes uh

i'll take marijuana edibles at night uh your mom and i are worried about you guilty uh and why are you throwing your life away well i'm i just i know it's a gateway drug so i'm trying to ease myself into harder stuff trying to get yeah but uh like when you when you take that like you know a bunch of nights in a row and then you stop then you get like really crazy lucid dreams and so last night i didn't take it because i'm you know i wanted to get up early today and not be groggy or anything and uh i had this very lucid dream like i remember like all the details and i was like walking around in it and i was just i was just at a boston college football game and i remember like i remember the whole game and we lost by like three touchdowns to you to you main

i woke up this morning i was like black bears i woke up this morning i was like i was out for nine hours and all i remember is the entirety of a football game my team did you feel tired no i felt great today i woke up that's crazy but i couldn't believe that was what i dreamed i was so disappointed i was like i was like a little like all right i know i'm gonna have a crazy dream tonight hoping something cool and it was just a disappointing loss and it was like cold out a 21 to 3 it was like higher scoring that i think it was like 41 to 25 or something but yeah it was a bummer it was um all right should we do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today uh okay let me ask you guys let me ask you guys a question i think we can all agree that the country

scene has kind of been in shambles like we need a we need a new country star like to kind of save the genre yeah i think i've found a duo that is going to do just that well yeah i'll for the sake of your i feel like that's not how people feel about country right now i think it's like having like a huge resurgence i don't know if i agree in terms of like mainstream relevant events we need We need to bring back people who are country to the bone. You're right, you're right. I think you're saying country's changing in a way that's getting too woke and soft. We need to get back to the old school country.

Let's see some guys that are country to the bone. Lauren, pull this up. It's great when you get home. It's Bud Knives. It's a brighter night. I'm still way back home. It's waking up. Dusting your butt.

Trying to earn a little extra pay. It's taking her out. And you get off to the creek for a fishing day. It's way of life. It's do's and rides. It's great when you get home. It's Bud Knives. it's ride or die down a two lane back road aren't those guys awesome yeah those guys are country to

the bone i'm gonna lie this was great yeah hey those were i like that a lot ian law music brooks and please be done land law all their brothers all right now wait i thought we're doing amity we're doing this guy rocks yeah oh yeah we no wonder i had it wrong in my in my road map so we have to follow the roadmap obviously indubitably uh road and map it's a row road map what you gonna do if you take crap this might be our last slack at the bride no just airdrop it i don't have that feature i'm watching you be on an iphone right now you have that i'm not on an iphone oh this is coming the guy yesterday called her earlier today call their boss in wait no it still doesn't work i

try it again. My iOS is too old. You didn't update it then. No, I did update. It says it's still too old. I need iOS 12. I will show it. I know you're wrong. I will show you. I'm sorry. You want to bet $5? We're going to put right here who was right in this

argument. I bet the update didn't complete. It did. What's the argument? It's not. He's claiming that he can't use Slack because his computer is too old, but he doesn't have the latest iOS. No, I downloaded it. We will put here if I'm right. we'll put it right here that also can't be true because you can go on it on the web it does it

says my chrome it needs the newer chrome which needs did you so did you update chrome then i don't know whatever you have to update your computer and then update chrome and then you'll be able to use so you didn't even do all this thing do you anymore yeah he knows he's wrong this is like the other day oh my god what was that fucking thing you were so wrong about and such a dick about the last day we were here do you remember that the fucking pto yeah i still think i was but i was kind of on his side so i can't really talk i still yeah you were on his side i still think i was right anyway i wasn't being a problem with our car i wasn't being a dick well you were you were so mean to emily no but also you i go you guys went to go get drinks

and i was like can you grab me a gator light and then i came back and you just let someone drink it why is that i don't understand i bought a bunch of drinks i dropped them off and i said everyone drinks are here someone else came up and grabbed the one that was for you and i said whoa that's rusty's don't drink that and then she just took it and walked into her office what was i supposed to do chase her down no you should have been like why weren't you mad at her i was mad at her but i can't get mad at her because i don't know and also she took one sip and then said oh sorry gave it back i don't know but you told her she took a sip knowing it i'm not gonna drink a drink that someone's already drank all right well i'm just saying i had nothing i had no fault there

i went and bought you a drink i went to the store and bought you company funds yeah but i went and bought it for you i still think that's insane to take someone else's drink i agree but i didn't do it and i told her not to all right anyway i'm fucking pissed now i'm mad i'm having a fucking i'm also hungry and when i get hungry i get really mad yeah i just watched you eat lunch no not hungry i'm just like tired you guys are all grumpy now no i'm in a good mood now okay all right lauren play this wait teed up for us well what are we about to watch a turtle or something just play it that's a tortoise that's a turtle that's a tortoise that's a fucking turtle i just made a diorama on reptiles i know everything about turtles

it's a fucking turtle i'm just gonna diorama about reptiles tail i know everything about turtles it's so awesome i don't think that's the original unfortunately though will because i saw a different video with that sound really yeah this is the original that's a tortoise that's a turtle that's a tortoise that's a fucking turtle i just made a diorama on reptiles i know everything about turtles it's still great it's still great right it's awesome thanks all right should we do teach me something teach me have you guys ever wondered why like british pubs are like the crown and toad or like the hat and boot no but i now i'm

curious the dog and frog exactly so apparently in like england for a while the literacy rate was so low that like most people couldn't read so bar signs were like pictures so it had to be like two things that were very clear so it'd be like the boot and hat or like the king's head and crown or whatever because they would just put them next to each other because most people couldn't read i like that isn't that fun that is fun the the yeah like the cat in the hat the the ball and chain the ball and chain is just a picture like your your girlfriend what put a picture of my girlfriend right here but put make it will's mom no that is my mother put a picture of my girlfriend right here no my dad listens to this podcast uh unsub all right let's do let's do

british pubs uh wait what did he commented unsubscribe on something um oh it was when we talked about him oh his bench for hospital bench for he oh he was pissed about that when i was home he's like you did not tell the full story he's like you didn't relay that like it was really hard to tell she was there the bench was facing the other way anyway and british pubs that don't exist three two one go corchin bond the mud and stick the trinkle bunk the tie and i don't know the hat and watch the hen and the horse uh the cow and grass the stock and spigot the helmet and shirt the church and state nice the mason dixon line all right teach me something willie uh okay i was i watched goodfellas for the first time so good it's one of my favorite movies

great film yeah uh and there's a mention made to like the boston college point shaving scandal you know about that and then all of a sudden i was reading a bunch about that what's the reference to it there's just like one time he's like i gotta he's i gotta go up to boston help him fix some games or like he just like one guy like says it in passing yeah but the whole like do you know about the boston college point shaving scandal no oh you don't know i don't think so it was like the mob i think it's in uncut gems too but i haven't seen that movie but um the mob was like was paying boston college basketball players in the late 80s to point shave to like lose by less to win by less than the spread basically wait but the goodfellas is the 70s okay then

are you sure don't they i mean they look up boston college point shaving scandal or is that like the endless lunch bowl how are you still eating this like bottomless pit bottomless regenerating lunch lunch that grows oh you're right it was the late 70s yeah good pull thank you uh anyway the moral of the story is they were paying players on the team to lose by less than the spread and then you know all betting on it and stuff but what i found was interesting is that they actually didn't do well at all like i've known about the scandal and always thought like wow they like made millions they went uh they won four times had two pushes and lost three times uh so they were like not they were up a game yeah they're up one game it was

this huge scandal they fixed they successfully netted one exactly can you imagine getting caught for this huge scandal like all these people are getting arrested and made like a thousand bucks Yeah, you barely made anything of it. So anyway, and the main guy in Goodfellas. Henry Hill. Henry Hill was like the centerpiece of the Ray Liotta operation. Yeah, Ray Liotta plays him very well. Yeah, he looks like Phil Tarling.

That's kind of a dig at Phil. Ray Liotta's very handsome, but he has like acne scars, which Phil does not. Oh, yeah. Well, maybe not the acne scars. Also, I don't think Ray Liotta and Phil look alike at all. I do. Now Google Philip Tarling. It actually might come up.

do young well oh i kind of see put goodfellas at the end you guys no well yeah i don't see it at all like this click on this picture i don't know what you're pointing oh that's funny one to the right yeah yeah okay i see it now now google philip tarling you do it now google philip wait not on a different tab so we can pull up next to each other now go back i guess i kind of see it that's a compliment what do you mean no it definitely is i don't maybe no go okay go down to that one third row third row two in this one yeah okay i see it right yeah i never in a million i've watched the movie a hundred times i've never thought that once

I thought immediately I was like That guy looks just like Rusty's friend Oh Phil Phil aged horribly Hey I like this guy

He's not Oh He's not alive He died No No I'm sorry If this is your grandpa

He was a beautiful man Some guys up there Like what the hell Is that that Philip Carling's son Carling He's a playmate He's like mourning

Also we gotta figure out Our hundred guest episode Oh yeah Do we already tell The playmates about that we talk about the billy podcast i want to i want i don't want to bring you down but you keep telling people that it was your idea and i went and watched it was your idea i went and watched the podcast back i said it i know i you know i was watching the episode too and i was like oh my

god i thought it was my idea i wasn't doing that it was definitely your idea i even wrote in the description no i know but i'm saying i know he's been he's been going around like i had the best idea i know i know i was wrong i'll own up to that i really thought it was my idea i almost texted you about it like what the hell i fucked that up it was your idea all right should we do am i the asshole we have like five more segments but i was part of this is awesome yeah all right let's go yeah this is a great episode this is gonna be three hours no lauren's not gonna sleep this week all right great we have to get lauren more adderall for her addiction oh you gotta get on adderall that shit's awesome that's my new year's resolution if i start taking adderall

would i slim down no don't do that lauren if i start taking i don't look like you don't i come in i'm like tell him to take like long hair i mean you amphetamines you wouldn't have as much of an appetite god all right we why to the doctor's office i go do normal people things there's like a there's like a trail of smoke leave my no faster mind all you have to do is is there a treadmill in your building no do you have oh sorry sorry rich mcgee i realize money bags over here had a personal gym you have rich mcgee no i don't even i don't have one i just do you because i okay i was thinking about this i want to because i i feel like running stairs is a good way to do it like cardio stairs is great if i start am i allowed to do that in my

apartment building or is that like a dick move to be like running up and down the stairwell no one uses it do it i don't i mean i know you don't care i mean they don't care who would care no people aren't gonna care i don't know i just feel like if i ran into someone they'd be like whoa Fatay Or get a gym membership and go on the Stairmaster Dude I Looked at the Equinox and this guy will not Fucking stop texting me

You don't have to go to Equinox I'm over the whole gym thing because this guy texts me I've responded like I don't I'm not joining He texts me everyday It's like Andrew plug emoji I signed up for like a tour You can't just join

You have to sign up for a tour And this guy Andrew with the plug emoji if you live if you work at the westwood um you're brentwood equinox westwood equinox and your name's andrew and you're apparently the plug stop stop text also it feels like he sells drugs on the side and like his contact his like contact translated over he just gets you an equinox and then gives you adderall yeah like wow look at all the weight loss um there's a great detroiters episode where they find a bunch of they're like oh it's old diet pills from the 70s and then they take them and they're all like okay i got it cracked out yeah um okay do you think we'd get

better at podcasting if we're on adderall no it would seem like we were doing a better job and then once we listen to it back we'd be like oh my god oh god i used to do adderall in college it's like doing only for studying yeah exactly i didn't know what that's like i from what i've heard online all right would i be the asshole my husband's brother wife and baby are coming to stay with us soon for about two weeks we are really looking forward to seeing them and are happy to put them up without any costs just some contribution towards food etc anyway we're expecting and have just done our baby's nursery ready this is like horrible grammar they mentioned when they come to stay with us that their baby girl can use our nursery my husband's initial reaction was no way

and this still remains my initial reaction was the nursery is there they may as well use it however now i'm starting to think more like my husband do we want another child using our baby's nursery before they get to use it? Are we being selfish assholes? That's interesting. I think my knee jerk was like, yeah, you are an asshole, but now I'm thinking like,

maybe you do want to keep it. I think you let the baby use it. Yeah, who cares? I don't want the baby to use it. I mean, the baby's not going to be born and be like, someone's been here. That's family, man. Someone stayed in my...

Why has someone been in my stable? Well, it's like, it's the baby's new room. I have a tear drifting down my face. I thought you just had like snot on your face. Ew! I thought it was like piss or something. No. like she got like a golden shower or something

trigger finger remember we used to call playmates and they would tell us those crazy stories yeah that was why that girl told us that that guy peed in her mouth if you haven't listened to that episode i don't know what episode that was but there was go back and find go back and find that there was an am i the asshole where this girl called in and said that she peed in a guy's mouth because he told her to it's really funny you should go listen it was a hard i like to think of like getting like being the guy and you're like that's like a fantasy you've had and then the moment the piss touches

your lips you're like oh make them feel really bad yeah I feel like that would not the payoff would not be there no hey Trevor stop stop doing that that's gonna freak one guy out yeah it is funny to think that there's so many

there's 70 episodes out there and some of them do you think anyone's having sex to this right now yeah really hundreds of playmates are having sex do you think anyone has actually having sex with us right now i think hundreds probably not this one because it's i don't know they probably like busted already because it's so late one thing i like to do on my live streams when they go really late is a bunch of people i think fall asleep to them so like at like 2 a.m sometimes i go like ah wake up wake up and like instantly people would pop in the

chat like jesus fucking christ man what the hell oh that's so funny all right anyway what we're doing trevor get your hand out of your pants all right um i don't think you're the asshole if you don't want that stupid baby sleeping in your baby's nursery but i think it's not worth the fight like they're gonna they're gonna think you are the asshole to them in their world you're being a big asshole yeah i don't know i think they would also have the you know but the baby the baby is never gonna know yeah but i mean i guess that's like a special thing if it's their first kid yeah they got the room all cute and stuff i i think you're a bigger asshole for asking for like money to help for food and stuff when they're in town well that you don't know

their situation i think that can be reasonable yeah not everyone can afford to support you know that's fair yeah okay um next one am i the asshole for basically telling hubby that he's fat last night yes last night nice to me i suggested uh to my husband that we finish off the leftovers was in the fridge since she had plenty of food that needed to be eaten instead of agreeing he immediately countered with wouldn't you rather go get nachos i shook my head and firmly said no he then sighed dramatically as if i'd crushed his dreams i like this guy and declared you don't i didn't realize this was a this guy rocks yeah um and he declared you don't feed me without skipping a beat i replied you wouldn't be overweight if i didn't feed you that's when the tone of the

conversation shifted he immediately told me i was being mean and then my comment was uncalled for i stood my ground and explained that i only said it because i felt insulted by his original remark to add some context this isn't the first time i have felt unappreciated during the holidays my days were consumed with taking him out to eat or cooking meals for him ensuring he had like like is is he like incapable of making his own some people have relationships like this god that sounds like the dream i was about to say i want like a housemaker awesome it feels exhausting to put in so much effort only to be told i'm not doing enough i'm wondering now did i take things too far with my response or was i justified given the circumstances am i the

asshole i think you guys need to go to therapy and figure this out because we're we're not equipped for that but we could do what a therapist why is she saying you don't feel i'd be like cookie i would actually no no way would anyone ever speak to me like that i think she's let this go too far where she's normalized too much and being his mom right i think you shouldn't call them fat but you also yeah it's clearly gotten to it maybe try something like uh meatballs yeah tub of lard or something i also whale fate whale butt she also didn't explicitly call him fast she said you wouldn't be overweight if i didn't feed you which is like i feel like as someone's partner it's kind of your obligation to help them get out of that if that's something

they want to do so like what maybe he doesn't it also seems like it's not something he wants to do which is like fine i guess if he doesn't right like i don't think i don't think anyone should be like prescriptive of like you need to change the way you look yeah what nothing why do you look at me like that you went well i just like sorry i wasn't really listening not everyone's boyfriend has washboard abs like your boyfriend is killer hot body guy like it's not everyone has like abs i could like wash my clothes i don't have washboard abs i've literally seen him so i've seen pictures of him he has babs for sure does he is he babs abs i don't look at pictures your boyfriend's body online but he would know put a picture of lauren's boyfriend no i'm not

i wasn't saying that i think you should tell people to change i'm just saying if she's already fed up with him being like unappreciative like i don't think there's anything wrong with her saying something like that uh yeah i mean i feel like her complaint is more that he's like directing around on like cooking and stuff and it has nothing to do with the fact that he's overweight i know but the breaking point was that she called him fat that's why i think like that was a bad method yeah of community because that's not really what her point is right it has nothing to do with him being overweight i think as for a man to say you don't feed me like shut up right mommy yeah yeah i dude i honestly i think it would be i'm trying to cook more this year

what this is a fun little game you guys are like twirling around oh did you even notice yeah probably notice what um i want a partner that is really a really good cook but i would like to reciprocate also i think like that's a very fun way to to show that yeah i feel like i feel very cared for if someone makes me a meal but i feel like i would like to be able to do the same for them i'd like to make a like a cake yeah yep oh maybe i'll bake this week in my house like my dad was in charge of breakfast and my mom was in charge of dinner that's i thought that was a dad right this is like meat egg like fix my dad caught a callous tray there well yeah i was just going i was going after you see listen yeah mr kelly i'm really sorry and i will tell you speaking

of breakfast you know what i had for breakfast this morning i made myself breakfast sorry continue i had toast with barney butter on it oh nice that's barneybutter.com nice good plug do you know his dad owns an almond butter company and this is my favorite thing about your dad's almond butter company they recently expanded into peanut butter right to me that's like the inverse it feels like there's an untapped market they started like way too niche they were like all right fuck it we'll do well because they have to do they had to open a separate plant because the whole point of almond butter is like it's a separate plant yeah it caters towards like people who have like allergies oh yeah and so like they couldn't do peanut butter because it's you get

like a certification where it's like this is safe for people with not allergies got it and so it was like a bitch to do yeah not everyone can not everyone can eat peanut butter will i did i housed it i had to remain college once nice you actually had an all-time name now that i'm thinking about i guess i want dachshund but uh he was allergic to peanuts and i one time had reese's puss in my room and he was not happy i feel like you have he could have like died is this your freshman year guy wait that i did nothing against this guy i feel like if you have a deathly allergy to peanuts you should have to live with another guy who has that because that's not fair you that you can't have your snacks yeah i mean i will for never forgive him for that year he took

for me i now i eat so much peanut because of him no i'm just kidding i love you i love penis butter i love myself wait where were we what were we doing we are doing a podcast playdate podcast we are about to jump into our 25 ins and outs oh yeah okay should we start with our ends Inns. All right. In. 2025. Inns and outs.

Let's start with the inns. Inns. Calling girls shoddy. Cooking gumbo. Driving in the bike lane. Getting scurvy. It's hot in a mysterious way. Chasing tail.

Pumping dumps. Okay. When I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids, and I want to give back to the community. Ooh. Then, it's the vacation of a lifetime. I wonder if my head of office has a forever setter. An IG Private Wealth Advisor creates the clarity you need

with plans that harmonize your business, your family, and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you at the center. Find your advisor at IGPrivateWealth.com. Telling your friend you sat in gum and then showing him your balls. Laying eggs. Nice. Outs. gold digger prank in the hood micro shorts wait wait that was ins

yeah i thought you were saying outs i'm sorry i thought that was your in i saw another in oh my last in was gold digger pranks in the hood nice i need to bring those back yeah okay outs micro shorts chicken pot pie micro plastics organized labor micro penises kirk herb street microeconomics flightless birds counting your macros i think you should just eat whatever you want i like that you should do a 72 hour fast uh you're gonna tee this up no you did up well i team all i know but they do better when you team up is that true i never team up these are touchdown celebrations that don't exist dang i was talking these are touchdown celebrations that don't exist hit me the tailor one guy gets on his hands and knees the other

guy stands on top and then once uh fits him for a suit i love that uh the hibachi it's like the shrimp toss thing where one guy gets in the middle and they all the other players line up and he goes and i like that i feel like that'd be awesome i like that uh the pommel horse two guys get on their hands and knees and then one guy gets on top and like break dances on top uh the dj set one guy faces the crowd and starts djing and everyone else gathers behind behind like those people that everyone else guys there's one guy gets up and starts djing towards the the fans and then everyone else crowds behind like the people in the booth oh i like that this and like he's like grinding on him and stuff yeah the extreme home makeover yeah uh two people stand

the rest act as the bus and then some people are the house and the fans chant move that bus and they slide out of the way and they all cry that's awesome uh i've got the cheerleader swap uh all the cheerleaders go to the end zone and start celebrating touchdown while all the players go to where the cheerleaders were and they do a little routine and hoist a guy oh that's awesome yeah the maury povich okay uh they're holding the football like a baby and then one of the players goes you are not the father and they have a big fight that's awesome thank you uh i've got the red hot mill everyone lines up with their legs spread and then one player crawls through and they all smack him in the butt as he goes through nice i don't get that one what do you

the red hot mill that's just what it's called everyone lines up with their legs spread like in a row and then one guy crawls through everyone's facing this way and the guy's crawling through everyone's legs i like that why is it called the red hot mill that's what my mom used to call it when were you guys doing this we used to do this growing up like if you got in trouble it'd be like you gotta do the red hot mill because it crowdsourced spanking yeah it was like in a fun way like it was like whoever loses cornhole gets to do the red hot mill okay so it wasn't like you got in trouble at school no she was like getting the red hot no it wasn't like a real punishment she she did not hit me uh i've got the communion where they all line up and some players cross

their arms that's great like if they haven't scored that year yep that's great uh the bomb diffusion uh they all back away from the football and then they two guys carefully go up and they snip a wire and everyone goes crazy i like that all right ts up for bowl games that don't exist These are college football bowl games that don't exist. The Luigi Mangione United Healthcare Bowl. Okay. Love that. I've got the Timu Bowl.

It's only one half. I like that. The BP Oil Clean Oceans Bowl. Love that. I have the Exxon Mobil Wildlife Bowl. This one's kind of fucked up, but the Jeff Epstein Boys and Girls Club Bowl. I've got the Campbell's Bowl of Soup. oh i like that a lot uh the nancy pelosi shirt the nancy pelosi securities and equities bowl

love that i've got the mike's bowl it's just a guy named mike paid for a whole bowl himself i want to get rich enough to buy a bowl willie willie d's bowl that would actually be awesome uh the naming rights bowl that's an idea i have where it's that's what it's called the first year and then whatever team wins it it's then like the next year would be like the penn state bowl oh i love that whoever wins it the following year that'd be like the boston college bowl or the mumford and sons bowl if they want it one year those guys are trying they're trying to play more they're playing more all right uh we gotta fucking get this podcast over with we've been going for eight hours guys we love you so much wait really quickly whose personality are you

stealing oh yeah this weekend i'm going to laguna beach so i'm stealing kelly slaters i'm gonna go back to jimmy buffett just because i i like his vibe love that lauren i'm stealing what am i doing this weekend i'm gonna steal zendaya's personality because she got engaged i know she just got engaged wait same with dualipa too amazing i'm trying to more with her to do a feature um yeah i'm stealing zendaya's personality because she's just a cute wonderful ball of sunshine and um i strive to be like her love it love it all right playmates comment if you've made it this far comment comment what kind of haircuts will and rusty should get yeah i'm trying to decide whether to keep growing it or cut it and do not do not comment

willie d smells bad do not comment that no do not comment willie d smells good do not comment that don't comment anything about what i smell like do not listen to me if i go in that comment section i see anything about how willie smells awesome and how i cherish being around him and he's like my favorite guy i'm gonna be pissed and we're gonna block you all right do not comment that also ladies comment your favorite perfume oh or men comment your favorite clone or if you're a man and use perfume that's fine too or if you're a have you heard about like the new e-girls i ladies what is that you haven't heard of that no what what are you doing what oh oh oh the like tech ones like the new version yeah yeah yeah do you know what i'm talking about no

what what part are you confused about what is an e-girl an i-girl no what what are you saying not e i said the new version of e-girl no what is that it's i ladies what's i ladies i ladies nuts on your face all right we'll see you guys next wednesday lauren get fucking zung love you guys peace out