Will & Rusty's Playdate - our first hollywood party

Episode Date: January 14, 2026

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Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com. will play date play date episode 463 463 and we always said if we made it this far we would buy a boat together what color what's the name of our boat gonna be will ss tricky the ss oh i like that ssx tricky or something yeah that game the ss tricky can someone stop being loud it's always page too who's the the head of our podcast the head of this we can't yell right what quiet on set shut up actually it's steph i love stuff

she's fired she's fired all right we just got her sorry it was loud for a second we got her co-worker steph fired fired her she don't care she's out of work she moved here from nashville and she can't pay rent now uh guys we got andrew on the ones and twos andrew say what andrew say hello to the to the people what's going on play a little play oh yeah that would be cool if you had like a little keyboard yeah like all right we went to our viral hollywood coming out party last night it was the most hollywood party i've ever been to and the bar is on the floor for that i haven't really been to any i don't know what i was picturing but this was this was hot this was hollywood as the day is long it was like that we get out of the uber just like a regular uber

yeah and there's like all these people lined up with like like pens for autographs and like paparazzi and we walk through i mean not for us obviously but like literally the entrance we go in all their cameras stopped actually hey guys time to charge the batteries yeah this is that guys this is actually a good time for everyone to grab lunch pee break uh but it was cool we saw bill maher young gravy we saw young gravy i think that gives you right there sort of the bill maher young gravy little huddy yeah bill simmons uh amy poehler we didn't actually see her though i didn't see her apparently you know what i think i did oh mel robbins mel robbins was there i feel like i don't know these people i texted my family group chat like uh because i

thought they were all like huge male heads yeah and and they were like uh my sister my sister goes she's not a good person and i go what and she goes my friend worked for her she's not a good person i'm like you're just taking yeah any co any person who does who no longer works for someone is probably like i don't know that made me real mad this morning my girlfriend loves mel robbins mine too and my girlfriend's mother loves mel robbins and i so i had i swear okay when we were at the first bar getting our our first drink of the night there i kept looking over at it was mel robbins 100 oh and because i was like what and i was like i i don't know who that is and like i like gave up trying to figure out who it was and then later i found out she was there and i was

like oh my god that was 100 who that was so i tried to go find her at the end and yeah i thought when flan was saying she loved mel robbins i always was picturing tony robbins who does a similar thing he's like a motivational he like gets people he lights a fire under people's ass oh this guy i was like really that seems like really the opposite of everything i thought i knew about you yeah um but i she can like girls can like tony robbins too they made a tony they They made a Tony Robbins, too. Anyway. It was cool.

We saw John Legend. We saw John Legend and Chaka Khan. All of me still slaps. It's so impressive that he can do it. It's not my cup of tea, that genre of music, personally. I mean, I'm not driving down the street listening to John Legend, but we got to get super close to him. Yeah.

I was like, oh, that's sick. That was really cool. I'm hoping to maybe get invited to more Hollywood parties. Yes. well this is sort of a meta thing where the pod it was a podcast party now we're talking about on a podcast is that like fucking with your head it's like or wait like inception about podcasts it's for like really dumb guys it's like inception no you don't get it it's joe rogan dreaming about podcasting this is i've never seen inception so i can't i figured like i've never seen joe rogan

Or Joe Rogan. You've never seen an episode of Joe Rogan? Not a whole one. Yeah. I like the Neil deGrasse Tyson ones because he tells me about space. I like that. Also, you want a little... I'm kind of being bad today.

I got a... Elise was going out to get coffee and I asked if I wanted anything. And I was like, actually, that'd be awesome. Can I get an iced latte with oat milk? She got vanilla. Okay. And I took the first sip and I was like, oh, I didn't say vanilla. kind of nice yeah every once in a while mix it up a little bit yeah willie goes uh no that's just

now that's just riveting stuff yeah we're like you know what call me call me crazy every once in a while like like a pump a little van in my can willie goes uh oh man like i'm not feeling very well this morning i was like yeah we had like eight beers no but like we like we were not like that like no no not at all like i just it was like a disproportionate i think it's because we were drinking like a ipas yeah this is like i woke up i thought i was gonna be feel fine this morning this is a 12 beer hangover that we're working with right now this is not like we didn't have yeah five six yeah we also so we did who's high and then went to this event and without spoiling it what we're high at this thing yeah i i honestly didn't really feel like it oh i was

very nervous on the way over there because i was just like i don't want to be i was picturing it being much more intimate and then we got there and it was like a thousand people so that was immediately like we're fine no one no one even knows that we there was a tall man with sort of green fingers right things and he he ruined my night he goes you know everyone here knows you're high right and he said you know my fingers are green right okay yes first thing i noticed by but he pulled there's a guy with huge green fingers he pulls you over he's like yeah you know my fingers yeah i was staring at them all night it's all we're talking about here everyone here can't shut up it's why it's disgusting you need to see a doctor

or no he's like like i mean like like there were like someone pulling your way you know i got something on my face right it's like i got you know i got a little food on my lip right yeah what do yeah you should you want to know you want to know how much you don't want to know how my fingers got this green you're like dude no get out of here yeah okay now i'm thinking of a new bit where i was like hey i got a little bit of food on my lip to someone and then it's like they're like me i don't know i do yeah and then it's like do you want me to get it or what no just letting you know yeah maybe that's something or instead of being like do i have food in my teeth you ask people if they have food in their teeth do you have any food in your teeth

do you just get an airdrop someone's airdropping like crazy over here uh do you have any food in my teeth could you put your food in we are on fire yeah what are we talking about here i got something in my notes wait i want to ask uh did you see odessa at the party see how would we recognize i know not the dj the from marty supreme right yeah oh oh i thought you were picturing like i think i i okay at one point i thought i did and then i was like i mean i've only seen that one movie oh her boyfriend was there who's like also a huge actor who drew starkey oh from like outer banks yeah oh you saw him no no i saw flan sent me a video i don't think we saw i definitely wouldn't she's like you know my sunglasses are green we didn't we did not see

her to my knowledge i saw we were willie and i were talking look up like who all was there can you like hollywood or who is i think you named just about everyone yeah do moi was kind of on it oh kind of hoping we would be on there but don't you like know her i do know her that would have been so funny if you could have gotten there she posted a picture of kenny pickett and i once at my request any big weekend plans willie i do have a big weekend planned oh wait is this a monday episode who cares who cares man we're being bad we're recording on friday wait this comes out wednesday who cares man it can come out whenever we want it's coming out tomorrow we should just do live yeah that would be fun we have to get up at 5 a.m but yeah and we just but we'll return

into like do you think you just didn't naturally start doing like morning show topics yeah it's like and the weather's been lovely down here in southern california driving southbound you're going to experience some traffic on the 10 that doesn't even go south i don't think anyway i'm going to i'm going to watch the sopranos tonight so that was like kind of a a good old misdirect i'm going like any big weekend plans yeah i think i'm going to which sounds like it's going to be a physical location and then unless you are gonna there's like a screaming i'm going to lauren's house and i think we might put her she wants to put her bed in the living room what is she always does that i don't know i mean i guess it's like she has a tv in her room too i don't even really

why the tv's better in the living room it's kind of like uh it's kind of like eating dinner in the bedroom like you're not supposed to do it yeah it's like bad it feels better yes i guess we're I know what my ass is going to be, the one moving her mattress. Wait, why don't you just pitch her and be like, what if we just washed it on the couch and then went to bed after? Yeah. I don't know. She seems pretty dead set on it.

I pitched Flan on moving dinner from tonight to tomorrow and having a movie night. Fun. And order in. Did it work? Because I also don't have a lot of money until our next paycheck. So I don't have this. oh no i i'm not gonna do the money bit anymore you wait i've been seeing people don't like the

don't like your money you know i think i like it i think when we got wound up in those that we two weeks where we were recording every day you can have i you can have one bit right for two weeks and you don't realize how it trickles into several months of people's lives so i think you know it happens you have any money and i'm proud to say i got money now i remember the first time you did it flan being like what you're like it happened it was like three videos in a row and being like i don't get it so i think maybe it's just being around you enough it kind of makes sense but if your only window into your life is you asking for money then i could see how that would be confusing i think the only real detar is gonna give it only my real detars my og day one

rice pilaf one crew can i ask you a question yeah detards always felt like something you would not find funny and but it like it's the it's your one exception if you think that that rule well it's because it's not because of the r word because it's not because of the it's not supposed to sound like the r word i figured that out after oh it just rolled off the tongue it just rolled off the tongue yeah yeah that but it is you know i think og detards no that's not what we're about we don't say the r word detard a real detard doesn't say they say the d word they say the d word yeah that's just detarded that's whoa that sounds like now it sounds like you're making it sound like the r word which i don't like it's a separate thing someone's doing someone's doing

something like exactly the way you would do it oh yeah straight dude that's detarded i i think Oh, you think that guy from Subway Takes was at our party? Look at that. Oh, what's that? I could have told you. The MetroCard guy? Yeah. Fuck, dude.

Oh, he's hosting the pre-show. Fuck, dude. I hope he wasn't... Oh, fuck, dude. I could have fucking kicked it with that guy. Wait, did you guys get the opportunity to take these, like, Getty images on the red carpet? We walked right by there, but we didn't stop. Really?

Yeah. I mean, I don't think... Wait, is that Ty? I definitely saw that guy. I don't know who it was, though. wait that's the guy that's like i'm just here in my garage with my ferrari no it's not oh who's that guy ty lopez it's like a true crime guy huh could you imagine being a true crime podcast that's like crazy to me were there other podcasters there i guess that guy i don't know

Joe Santagato was there He's kind of been our Our rock this week He's been our rock at these Spotify events this week He's the man And the Pointer Brothers The Pointer Brothers were there And we were standing next to each other

Watching Chaka Khan And I looked at Mikey I think Is one of the Pointer Brothers that I was talking to Mike is one of them, Henry is one of them I was talking to Mike Mike has more hair right now i was talking to mike and i go how old do you think shaka khan is he was like

32 how old do you think shaka khan is uh do you know who shaka khan is yeah yeah yeah uh 58 and i was like that that's not possible because she was performing in the 80s we google it she's 79 years old no no she was 72 oh oh okay right i thought it was like i thought i remember being like absolutely she looked phenomenal yeah 72 still she looked great yeah it was it was a movie she's the queen of funk and let me tell you i believe it because she had a 16 piece band behind her it was awesome and she was like ain't nobody love me better love me better ain't nobody do it but it was yeah if there was an instrument under the sun it was on stage with shotgun i kind of was hoping she would do one of those things that they do at

concerts where it's like all right like let's do a little roll call and they'll be like hey ryan like hit the bass and he's like oh yeah like introduce the band yeah and it's like we got willie d over on the keys and it's like and then it's andrew on the drums yeah and then it'd be like yeah but for hers it would be like a 30 minute affair yes oh my god imagine a 30 minute affair like oh my god it was not even not even worth it honey i had a 30 minute affair it was like barely had her clothes off wait so 30 is do you spend because 30 minutes is a long time to have sex but no but i from like meeting them to the affair being over was only 30 minutes well doesn't a fair imply that it's like multiple times

so i think you have to yeah leave and then come back all in the span of 30 minutes so if you so if you just cheat on your wife one time that's just that's just cheating right i don't know a fair definition difference between a fair and no just a fair definition okay a sexual relationship between two people one or both an event or sequence of events okay so it could just be a one-time thing okay all right glad we got to the bottom so that's crazy here's a website now here's a website that you can type in anything you want and it'll tell you right away like what it is and that's google i like that a lot i think we should invest i'm sorry we're hungover today no no we're doing

good andrew we're john legend and chrissy teigen all those people like walking around before they had like a table they had like a little table in the corner and uh we saw him kind of standing there i didn't see chrissy i didn't see her but he said when he introduced all of me he was like there's a song i wrote for this woman for this woman chrissy teigen but there was no like private areas right like everyone could just no they had like a private oh not a private like you could see them but they had like a table but it was like off limits it's like yeah i'm gonna go oh and they had tacos rope off i'm gonna go rope off and uh they had tacos too and they i think had hot dogs i just didn't have one willie had willie ordered like chicken tinga tacos and she was like

sounds good and made two chicken tinga tacos and then put them down and another guy grabbed no wait did you actually see how many times it happened like and i said i'll do two chicken tacos she's like gotcha brick gets my exact order hands it to this guy that was like standing behind me and i was like oh i guess he also ordered that makes another of the exact order different guy walks up from the side hands it to him makes a third of the exact order and at this point it's just me and the guy who already got the order that are anywhere near there and i go i reach literally physically reach out because i'm like this has to be mine she goes oh no he got two orders it gives the other guy another she made three of my like what are the odds that three

people got the exact same thing as me one in three well three how many options were three there were three options okay but it just or and the exact quantity of tacos being two i don't know i guess that's like a conventional amount yeah yeah but it was just funny that she shouldn't have taken my order yet yeah i don't know i just felt like an idiot the whole time i'm standing there with the you kept being like yeah i kept and then and we were talking to uh rugby star alona mar she was there i forgot about that her and her sisters were so funny yeah she came up to us and was like my sisters love your youtube videos i was like oh that's sick they were so nice they were all from vermont i know we were fellow we were we were fellow new englanders okay so willie

and i after this are going to do an interview on gaydar where they i believe are going to quiz us on queer history i think they're going to find out if we're gay or not isn't that how it works i think that's after but i was wondering should we quiz us on queer history i believe so could maybe not history but i'm right i know my queer history no just can you can you andrew can you do give us a little quiz can you give us some queer history wait uh is this a podcast that you're talking about no it's like a short form like man like interview thing can you give us him this finding out if zoron mondani is oh zoron did it do you want to watch it yeah i think we should watch less videos yeah but can you quiz us on queer stuff to get us ready yeah but maybe like

is it trivia i thought it was like the questions about i thought it was like an interview i think it's mostly like what is like a power bottom okay the rainbow flag was first flown what year you want me to here the rainbow flag is a widely recognized symbol of lgbtq plus pride uh but when was it first flown 85 78 85 i won fuck uh you're homophobic 1978 willie was right point for willie i think it's more like what is jelking the what what was the first musical on broadway to feature a lesbian protagonist rent fun house no it's rent isn't it fun house is it rent about like the aids epidemic i guess that would be men can women not get it yes they can no i don't know it was fun home so

oh rusty gets a i just i think the aids crisis specifically was mostly gay men polari refers to a secret language used by some gay people in the uk during the 20th century what does the word onk mean onk onk noise nose nose sorry noise i think it's nose wait this doesn't feel like gay this is we're learning this is our history man also in our money history is white history our friday meeting today jack barrett our ceo gets up and just showed sorry go ahead how did that even happen there's so much coffee on me right now oh just showed like thirst traps of our co-workers that people have been making i want more i want more edits wait are you wiping without will he's dry himself off of

the paper towels but without detaching the towels from the you can do that you can wipe put the whole roll and then just rip the towels off after all right um i would say we did good on gay trivia yeah until we're ready yeah and is an onk gay what i didn't really get that one it's in a secret language it's like pig latin oh gay people have a secret language yeah have you have you ever known i mean they don't talk they don't speak english how do you think they communicate they speak lesbanese yeah uh that was old that was hey that was a lowbrow joke and i'm not proud of it i'm not proud of saying lesbanese i don't think that's funny you're showing growth and i think that's i think that's honestly that's offensive

to the lebanese people and lesbians and that one's on me i don't think that lesbanese was a funny a joke lesbanese when i was like a babysitter when i was growing up and she would just like for some reason like i don't know how this was like her thing like her thing was she'd always go the wrong way down one-way streets wait like this was her shtick or like no it's like guys get a little no no it was just like we got her like we like started telling mom like mom she keeps driving the wrong way down one-way streets and like freaking out like every time she would take somewhere she'd like accidentally go down one way the wrong way and be like ah and uh so we like reported her and she dear mom or like my mom and she got fired that's something right how would

she get out of that sticky situation reverse oh my god and she'd lose her marbles yeah i guess a freaking out babysitter is never this is one of the last traits you you would want yeah then we had this other one called tasha she was goaded she would take us to she her house had a pool yeah that's take us there and we would play this have you ever played the watermelon game yeah you throw a watermelon in the water and it floats you have not played the watermelon game what you throw what is the game you throw a watermelon in the pool and then it's who can keep bit of underwater for the longest i mean it's you're not far off you did you got kind of yeah because watermelons are like the they float but they're like hard to keep from floating

okay kind of like you have to like apply a significant amount of pressure to get it going up so you would it's like you try you have a team and you're trying to get it to the other end of the pool oh but it can't go above water you can pass it by like going it's like water polo yeah but underwater do you eat the watermelon after no you eat the rind during intimidation no yeah i think you eat it after maybe or maybe you shouldn't because of the chlorine i don't know chlorine i don't remember my head hurts so bad really yeah i think i'm gonna be okay i'm gonna be fine but i i'm just a little uh little pain i had to take a waymo here this morning too because my car i had to leave my car here and i got another ticket and i just you got

a ticket yeah i was in the spot for too long there's also no parking between 7 a.m and 9 a.m unfortunately where in the spot i was parked in oh where we where we where we park at the end of thing who cares it's more uh it's more just that i i keep getting tickets even though i'm trying my best not to and it's just hundreds of dollars a month you're getting hundreds of dollars of parking tickets a month yeah well it's not that hard to i know for you for you maybe no i actually in college well in college i realized that if i got as long as i didn't get more than three tickets a week it was cheaper than paying for parking oh yeah on campus because the tickets were like 15 or 20 or something on the street right at the edge of campus which was like enforced by like the

newton police but if on can't like you i couldn't park on campus because they would the school would like fuck you but you just parked on the street right along it was like even closer yeah the worst i get was like a 25 ticket and uh it was like 1300 to get a semester parking class or something holy shit for on campus yeah it was insane that's what the winklevoss twins did at harvard what they would just like park in the red in front of their dorm or their final club or whatever and then just pay the pay the tickets every month instead of having to like go find parking i got it was kind of badass but yeah it was my mom would get really upset because occasionally they would sneak through the cracks like i would just get overwhelmed with it i mean

i literally was paying 10 a month or something uh and so i would miss some sometimes and then they would get a letter mailed to their house and after like the third letter my mom was like what the fuck is going on i was like it's a i have a plan i know this guy george mitchell and he racked up apparently like thousands of dollars in parking tickets that he just i think wasn't gonna pay was his plan and ended up having to like go to court it was a whole thing yeah binder told me she doesn't pay her parking tickets and she says i gave her that advice well you you know we've got the we've got our two brightest minds on it so i got so many tickets at rollins that they would they started booting my car booing they started booing your car boo all the parking guys

throwing like fucking go fuck yourself go home kelly get out of here you fucking pussy don't step foot on this fucking road again i would park because all my classes one semester were like right by the teacher's parking lot so i was like oh perfect i could just like kind of slip in there and then once they started to they were giving me like one ticket a day and then i think by the time so i started leaving fake tickets i'd leave old tickets on the thing trying to be like oh we must already hit that car or something that work nope they just it just drew more attention to it and then they finally just put a boot on it here's a question what if you were like i'm a teacher and they were like no you aren't and then you said did you know and like if you teach them something

or like you you pull in and just on the way by like you on the way out you're like hey man you know the chinese invented gunpowder you're you're peeling out and they're like you're like the human body has 300 and they're like fuck take the boot off did you ever watch uh the rehearsal yeah of course the the like first episode of that of the first season when they're like trying to get a guy ready for trivia oh yeah and they're like trying to have you seen that show yeah that that's my favorite part of the whole series i think is when they're walking around the city and he's like trying to subliminally oh yeah give him the answers to trivia later that night and they're

well they go up to like a crime there's like a crime scene and the cop's like yeah double homicide really bloody gross and they're like oh god that's horrible he's like yeah it's days like these i curse the chinese for inventing gunpowder i like the one where it's the construction construction guys yeah he's like he's like that's the tallest he's like uh that building's pretty tall but it's not the tallest building in the world that would be the burj khalifa oh man that's just fun that is just what us guys like we love it after our great muffin what sorry where's my breakfast muffin thing was so fucking good oh that dude the avocado tomato yeah the muffin me crazy imagine muffin me that was imagine getting muffed crazy i told you

edge text me that right yeah maybe that's why i got it today yeah muffin me dude she was muffing me crazy last night oh gross what were you roadie um well oh i was gonna say after our gator interview i have i think the perfect plan hit me with it i'm gonna go home i'm going to maybe take a little little hit of the Penn Shapiro get in the shower, full steam speaker on

sweat out everything that's going on right now what are you going to listen to? I've been listening to my old scuba dance jams playlist which was when we were if we were having a little shindig at my fraternity

we'd play my scuba dance jams playlist and it's mostly dance music no it's more like it's like it's like edm but not the hard stuff i'm like a i'm a soft core edm guy i like i like a little bit of lady vocals and a little bit of keyboard and that's kind of it yeah i like that i'm talking about you know what i like when it's like uh all like i'm losing steam what do you like what do you like i can't even figure out how to describe it like it's like a guy singing but you can't understand the words like they chop it up so much that it's kind of just like sounds yeah yeah here's what you want a hypothetical please i'll give you a hypothetical you all right you are

stuck in canada for the rest of your life now and you can pick one person that can come to canada with you but then they are also stuck in canada for the rest of their lives and it can't be your girlfriend your girlfriend is stuck in mexico oh man and you can't leave canada maybe if you bring this person they can't leave canada for the rest of their lives maybe like some sort of like um tunnel builder to connect canada to mexico you can't leave canada But it's like international ground. You can't leave Canada. No matter what.

I don't think there's anyone that I would do that and they would be happy about it. It's sort of like that movie with Chris Pratt where he wakes up the lady. And then she's like, did you wake me up? And then just eventually falls in love with him when he did probably the most horrific thing a human can ever do. Oh, they didn't know each other? No, he just thought she was pretty. oh what you know that movie what is that movie interstellar uh yeah interstellar that movie did not age well at all because it's just like it feels very like inceli doesn't it wait yeah kind

of yeah he he sees he wakes up which means like they're all supposed to be in cryo sleep until the ship gets to the motherland or whatever so they're so by waking someone up he's basically condemning them to the rest of their lives on the ship rather than them getting to live a new life oh because it kind of like pauses their aging as they travel or whatever they're gonna die on the ship yeah and he wakes he finds a girl and like falls in love with a pretty girl that he doesn't actually know oh and then wakes her up passengers yeah i would then isn't there like a thing then where like the ship is gonna trash crash or something i'm sure i would just wake up a guy who looks like he has a few good jokes just to pass the time

yeah is canada that bad i feel like i could convince someone to go live in like the cove with me uh no i'm just saying then they'll never see like anyone yeah people people could come to us why can't it be our girlfriends because they're in mexico together they're dating now are we in canada together no but my girlfriend is also in mexico i'm here i would take what is up with that movie yeah what then she falls in love with it is like an incel thing right well it's kind of like the um it's like the ultimate movie version of like stuck porn she's like no but it's like she now like that like is just there with him so it's like i guess no but like they fall in love it's not like it's sex thing oh i don't know isn't there like a like

a robot bartender who like uh yeah makes the drinks there is a robot it's better to be polishing a glass than doing nothing a barkeep doing nothing makes people nervous like a bargain i've never been nervous because my barkeep's not doing anything i used to be the best barkeep of all i was one of the worst i was so bad i was not good at any job i was bad at every job i did until this one what are you doing this weekend i have a jam-packed weekend hit me tonight in bed watching a movie with dinner yep tomorrow name was flan dinner And then tomorrow, I'm going to assume that Flan's going to have all sorts of little errands that I need to be a part of, which will be awesome.

And then Sunday, my mighty Patriots play at 5 p.m. Oh, against my big old Bolts. Me and Andrew's big old Bolts. It's true. Fuck you guys. Well, Cowboys first. I'm going to fuck you guys. What?

I don't know. I don't think the Chargers are going to win that one. I think the Chargers are going to win. really what you're gonna root for the chargers yeah you bought me a chargers jersey because you like the guy why would i root for the patriots i fucking hate the page because you like me i like the charge i'm a chargers fan you are not you're a jets fan i was a chargers fan until college four until college what you are grounded four until college what is that harry potter yeah that is uh for till college yeah i carly because you were grounded for

until college and she goes for until college what does that even mean no one knows who's dan schneider that that goofy ah was who's dan schneider is the creator of nickelodeon yeah wait you don't know about this no the pedophile yeah it's like wait what yeah they say he got like amanda bines pregnant and then he enabled the guy who who's a i mean i knew there was like some scandal with like is that like with like trick and josh oh i forget you didn't watch tv i never watched anything on nickelodeon yeah i remember there being a lot of like feet because that was like his big thing yeah he's kind of the quentin tarantino of like sliming people of slime to quentin wait quentin tarantino's not a pedophile but he loves feet yeah so you're just

saying he loves feet yeah got it rex ryan noted love feet guy really have you ever seen the what is it there's like some thing andrew do you like feet i i don't but it was like funny people talking about like the disney stuff where they were like oh i just assumed other kids thought feet were funny but i did too we all just realized that no none of us find feet funny yeah that was really weird he has a picture of his wife's feet on his desk oh what yeah that's real where right there behind it it's like an aura frame in his defense that could have been on anything what is that photoshop like it could have no i think that's real have you ever understood that urge really no but i love love do you think they're gonna quiz this on feet on gaydar no probably

not feet aren't gay do people that like are people that are foot fetishists in the lgbtq community there's one yeah okay all right i'm kind of nervous that we're gonna get like found out that we don't know anything about found out that we're gay that's what lauren was like what if they what if they conclude that you're gay then yeah just go it goes off the gaydar goes off have you not seen an episode of it i've watched the short stuff yeah and it very much was not trivia oh what i don't think it was trivia was it oh it's like what's jelking maybe it is i don't know what's it was like you ever jelked i don't know what that is what is it you it is a process to try and make your penis bigger and herb told me that when he was at prep school

uh that was all the rage really they were just so all so bored that they got really they all got really into joking got really into it if any playmates have done that let us know how that's been going for you do you think have you used your ai dog yet i have yeah does it work It's sick. I was going to prank you guys with it on the podcast, but then I didn't know if you guys Do you have it in here? Yeah, I do. Can we hold it?

Yeah. Let's talk about it, guys. Sometimes nicotine kind of gets you messed up. It gets me stressed. I get stress-eat, okay? And I want something that maybe satisfies that craving I used to have for a nicotine pouch. Right.

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and tell them our show sent you. Let's get back into the episode. So does it just operate on its own? Is there a mode where it like

does dog things? Uh... Jesus. We put him on his feet. We put him on the couch next to you. That dog's nuts. He just sat up with you. What up, dude?

He's kind of freaky. Why is the AI dog kind of freaky? Look at him. What the heck? I feel like I'm having a weird dream right now. This AI dog is freaking it. Oh, my God. Can I say something about the AI dog?

It's AI. It feels like he's mostly music-based. Can I see him? Wait, is it AI? Yeah. What does that mean, AI? I don't know. The AI dog just killed himself.

Sorry, don't break it. You think that was my fault? I don't know, man. I'm worried about Andrew's dog. none of that felt real are you controlling it from something no wow that's a good boy wait like if you just leave him to his devices will he no pun intended oh yeah will he just do his thing uh he'll chill does it can you hear us yeah ai dog no he's doing something on his phone you have an app

all right here's a question oh no i was remember that thing we were talking about yesterday we're gonna do like a try to figure out like a new segment or something oh yeah so we were thinking we make a fishbowl of like hypotheticals and then we like what if there was uh like in the past like people obviously rave about cj fridays what if there was like a robot restaurant what if there was a robot restaurant what if there was a shrimp magazine what if there was a soccer for vegetables oh what if we had like two wheels what if we had like two wheels and they were two separate things and you spin both wheels and then like whatever lines up i was kind of thinking like because then we could think them out ahead

of time but not fully flesh them out and then we can like pick out like we write them ourselves and make a big bowl and then we pick like what if what if there was soccer for vegetables what if there's like i'm not gonna turn up field all right yeah pull up vegetable terms that vegetable turds i feel like we should just think of them though you know but that's why it's so much easier yeah okay well and this offense has not been able to produce in quite a while now uh his roots are here in liverpool he was he's a homegrown player yeah oh and what and he yams it past the goalkeeper for a score uh and uh shut up the fuck up a fucking ai dog won't shut the fuck up uh the other team

they beat the other team and oh and another one leaks past the goaltender let us all celebrate his achievement he plays for Chelsea now but he was in fact born in Brussels and a cucumber hat trick

he doesn't have much room between him and the defender and there's not much room between him and the defender but he's able to score with garlic all right that was what if vegetables were a soccer team yeah see there's something there right totally so we could just come up with more like what if um what if uh what if ai dog was horny what if spanish was only what is up with the ai dog your lightsaber keeps making like the

like the force noises when it's just sitting in our office and it freaks me out really it's like scary and a parsnip midfielder gareth kale oh yeah that's good see that's that um and it's uh sergio arugula arugueros aruguerola yeah um bok choy what leonel bok choy that's pretty good actually wait what

and or it's like he runs like a scallion like a stallion yeah and he's like I don't know if this team will be a buyer in this year's free agent market there might be more of a salary

the world cup's going down to Peru this year we'll see you in Lima Lima we'll see you in Lima He's gotten hit in the kidney Bean We got a streaker on the field And now the chickpeas

There we go Nice You know the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I don't want a garbanzo bean on my face That was my I wouldn't let a garbanzo bean on my face I always say I wouldn't pay $500 to have a garbanzo bean on my face. You know, that was my intro line to Mike Vrabel.

Yeah, you talked about that on the pod. I think we talked about it on the pod. What did he think? He loved it. He invited me in his box. Bro, we don't want to hear about what you guys did in private. That's disgusting. He gave me sandwiches and popcorn.

Ew, you're in his box? And now I'm rooting against him on Sunday. Yeah, what is it? You're going to root for your second favorite team instead of hoping that I'm happy? Yeah, what? Wait, I've hated the Patriots longer than I've known you. But the Jets aren't even in the playoffs. Yeah, but like, wait, that's not, like, just because we're, like,

if you're friends with a Red Sox fan, or if you're friends with a Yankees fan and the Red Sox are out, you're going to root for the Yankees? No, but I do. So that's exactly it. That's the exact comparison. No. Oh. No.

Sorry. No. And, yeah, I'm going to root for my second favorite team over the team I hate the most? Yeah. You hate the Patriots the most? In the NFL, yeah. Wow.

I mean, they're our biggest rival. I mean, not that we've been much of a competition, but who would I hate more? The Chiefs, I feel like, are much more unlikable. Oh, I hard disagree. This isn't even the same Patriots team that you hate. It's a completely different group of guys. It's the franchise.

Yeah, but they're better guys now. Agreed. I like this team a lot. Like, Drake May seems cool. He does seem cool. I like Mike Braybill. I think Drake May is going to bust. I mean, I think he is a bust.

What? Pause. He's like the MVP this year. I think he's a bust. I'm on Andrews. I think he's going to bust. I think Justin Herbert is going to go God mode. I think he's tired of losing.

I think the Chargers are going to win the Super Bowl. Really? I don't know. Probably not. I think the Patriots are going to win the Super Bowl. I don't think the Patriots are going to win, but I think the Seahawks are. The Seahawks are going to win the Super Bowl? Sam Darnold

I would actually If the Patriots Don't win That would be cool Jet legend Sam Darnold Do you Yeah

I love Sammy D He's a California kid San Clemente San Clemente Here we come It's like Slightly lower budget

San Clemente San Clemente It's showing like It's just showing Armando's And like the local Catholic schools what's armando's not armando's uh olamandes well this is that place you like everyone likes it and

saying it's gas they named the taquitos after my cousins because they ordered them so much and then they took it off the menu it used to be the triplets taquitos really now it's not i was gonna say it's like the mike jim and tom or like whatever your cousin's names are oh oh oh you're like yeah i'll do the i'll do the mike kelly and michael and it's just full made taquitos yeah what is yeah and the goalie's been getting absolutely peppered all night sorry uh is lauren moving to spain lauren is yeah really she's going to spain for to travel to like do like solo travel yeah i just heard she said she got a one-way ticket so i was like is she not coming back she is coming back she just doesn't know when she's

just leaving herself some flexibility so it's gonna be sick i guess i'm doing long distance yeah we're doing long i'm gonna go visit her though i'm super excited very cool what date when are you going i can't wait uh i think i'm i just want to make sure i'm not there circling my calendar for the first weekend like the weekend of like march february 28th march 1st Phew, my mom will be in town, so I will be busy. Yeah, we'll see. I don't know. My parents actually are in Rome right now.

Doing what? Building it in one day. Yeah, they're building it in one day. No, they're just in, they just are going, they went to Italy. I don't know. Baulas. Kind of not like them. They haven't done like just a random trip.

Yeah, that doesn't sound like them. Like that in a while, yeah. Spur of the moment. When did they know? I've just, I think just recently. I just found out when I was home for Christmas, so. Huh. But I think it'll be cool.

i'm trying to do the most amount of travel personal travel i've done this year because i didn't get to do it like any last year so we're gonna do we think in hawaii hawaii and then flan has a wedding in uh italy not her own thank you very much willie for a friend does she have a date what she have it she doesn't have a date so she we're we're gonna go oh she doesn't have a plus one no so we're gonna go to copenhagen and london and then i think i might stay solo for like a couple days because i feel like that's too quick of a trip to go for like five days yeah i'm trying to figure out what i'm gonna do when i wait you're not invited to the wedding no oh bummer i've only met the girl like once yeah i know i i didn't get a plus one to

i i don't think you get a plus one unless you're like gonna get married gonna get married or like that person is also very close with the friend i think it depends also it's it's in italy so i think it's like smaller probably smaller and like very expensive yeah yeah so like i don't think anyone's really getting i just feel like weddings like when you're by yourself are like miserable well all of her like best friends will be there okay i guess that's different i've been to weddings where like i only know the people getting married and then they don't give me a plus one no this is like her like whole like high school friend group yeah um and then i think i think i'm gonna do it i think i'm gonna go i want to go i want to go back to japan after our trip i just

couldn't think of another country i don't know where i want to go i i was hey you don't have to pick right now you know you know i've been writing down my goals yeah i had i updated them for 2025 and uh and i was trying i was trying to think of things that i want and that was i i've realized i think i need to do some reflecting about what i want my life to look because i ran out of things pretty quickly bless you um and so i think maybe i would like to do to add a third trip to that yeah i'm done maybe like a ski trip i'm like the timing of this thing with japan and then now i guess i'm going to europe it's gonna be kind of a crazy i'm i haven't left the country well i went to mexico so but you know i pulled that my fortune cookie

the other day was you will you will step foot on the soil of many countries oh so i don't know if i just internalized that and have decided that it's true or not i'm very sorry i was gonna say i'm very when i go visit lauren i i think she i might see her in france but then i think i might on my own then go to valencia and see my old nice my old village and host family and you should go back and talk to the school have you seen our kids that girl that was getting so much hate for going talking to her like sixth grade class that was insane well i didn't think it was that crazy i thought it you don't think that was crazy people did that at our school like all the time i thought that was i thought that was she was talking about how like much she cherished going to this school

and like it was a little weird that no no no it wasn't that it was she was like these are the best years of your lives and these people in this classroom are you going to be your for life friends and like i wish every day i could go back to sixth grade yeah that part i'm not friends with anyone i was exactly she was saying and so i know a girl that went to that school and was commenting on it and apparently that school is is extremely tight-knit i think there are there are schools like like i have buddies who they're i think like especially like boarding schools they uh they stayed they stick together or like private schools like the jesuit in dallas like all those guys that went to a&m they never left their circles like they there were there

There were nine Jesuit kids in my fraternity from that Dallas school. Really? Yeah, they all stuck together. That's insane. I do want to continue this conversation, but I'm going to shit my pants. Go for it. Cool. This episode is brought to you by BetMGM.

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So let me get this right. You just took a poop the size of Manhattan? It felt like it. And imagine a Twinkie the size of the island of Manhattan. That's a big Twinkie. Who's that? Isn't that Ghostbusters? Why would the Ghostbusters say that?

I feel like the Ghostbusters say that. Google Twinkie Manhattan. that is gonna twinkie manhattan is gonna come up with something you don't that was my nickname in the big city uh huh i mean i guess like just what conky manhattan ghostbuster yeah what were they talking about i'm worried it's getting crowded in there and all my recent data points to something big on the horizon what do you mean the big well let's say this twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. According to this morning's sample, it would be a Twinkie

35 feet long, weighing approximately 600 pounds. That's a big Twinkie. We could be on the verge of a four-fold cross-rip. Okay, I wasn't totally... Alright, stop it. I wasn't totally on the mark with the dialogue, but I got the punchline. I like it. I like it. I've never seen Ghostbusters. That's Dan Aykroyd.

Why are the ghosts busting? oh ghostbusters like oh come on we're better than that we're better than that like oh my ectoplasm all right should we roadmap it up yeah we're doing that again yeah i think so oh you brought all this no but we should do the fan submitted pitch at mls yes all right and i have drafts let's do i have this guy rocks i have this guy rocks too yeah nice okay all right i just spoiled the roadmap all right you there we got it then no no no do it roadmap we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches and then we're gonna do some am i the asshole and then we're gonna do this guy rocks this guy and then we are gonna do commercials that don't

exist and what was it really malifours mal more malifours that don't this guy rocks all right hit us all right dear mile high and club club oh mile i'll be and uh what's the worst part about seeing someone attractive at the airport give no wait seeing someone attractive at the airport yeah uh they're not friend that you love yeah they're not my girlfriend so i actually everyone is ugly now that's kind of been the worst part about having a girlfriend is everyone's ugly it's like can i just find someone a little bit attractive in public let's say if before before this uh you i would say the worst part is that there's no real way to like initiate a conversation with someone in an airport setting that isn't a little bit invasive yeah you want to i just want

i used to just want their instagram to try and stalk them without having to have the in-person conversation how would you get their instagram that's what i'm saying like if i could just see who that was i could just stalk them and get all out of my system oh i actually know they're not actually hot you're just they're just the only other person your age that's like a tweet right yeah yeah i feel like that's gone away as i've gotten older now like everyone's my age it feels like true but when i was like 12 but if you were like 15 and there was like another 15 year old it was like yeah yeah exactly wait the worst part about seeing someone at the airport is not not knowing if they're 18 or not all right uh that's right it hurts because they could be going

anywhere and you may never see them again but what if you could make those fleeting connections count introducing layover a dating app that only works in the airport whoa that's fun users can filter eligible singles by airline status lounge access and baggage allowance are you only 5'4 no problem with your diamond executive status visible to all you'll be the most eligible short king in the terminal if you and your date have a nice layover together and you have the option you have the option to match up your travel itinerary at no extra cost a shy glance in the terminal can now be a vacation the two of you will tell your grandkids about don't delay invest in layover today and create airport stories that will last for generations that is actually like of that's

like one of the best pitches pretty like sound yeah the problem is that i feel like layovers lately have not i've not had a long one well i just had actually yeah once maybe that's not true but like it's hard to budget time to like go on a date it's it's kind of a that would be oh excuse me that would be unbelievable if you if you actually took the option to change and go somewhere else or it's like if you're on southwest and on the same flight as them then you could like sit next to each other nice okay i like i think that that should be real what man what about a part what about like uh you know like going into like freshman year college like everyone's gonna be random roommates unless you like join a facebook group and like find someone

facebook groups for like facebook groups for each southwest flight like so people post like hi like i'm well like i like i'll sleep for a little but i like to be up with a flight 10 flight attendants come around i don't pee often and i'm a great tic-tac-toe buddy and then people be like omg would love to sit next to you that would be so funny let's do that okay we'll make it i don't fly southwest but we will actually now they're getting rid of the thing yeah yeah and they got rid of i thought their whole thing was free check bags and lauren just like southwest she's like i gotta pay to check my bag yeah i think they're just have been like it's probably easier to just be an airline normal airline dude what first of all women be packing way too much

dude women be packing like crazy flan's flan's suitcase is like 75 pounds every time she goes anywhere literally lawrence coming home from christmas was 54 pounds which i think the i don't know if the limit the limit doesn't exist when it's oh that's like a that's from uh what's that lindsey lohan movie mean girls the limit does not exist the limit i've i always thought it was like a safety thing but then when i hit a certain status now it's like 80 pounds so it's clearly like so because of the status it's not an issue because you just be anything she put it on the scale i was technically checking it because i had the free bags or whatever delta and i put it on the thing and she goes oh how much does it weigh and i can see the thing that says 54 and i

was like like uh and we got away i thought i like got away with a heist i think you get i think you get up to like 75 or 80 pounds now okay wish i could relate my girlfriend's clothes are about the size of american girl dolls so all of her clothes good good answer bros pr train like two pounds no but that's the thing is like their clothes are smaller and they're i just don't understand i'm worried about her when she goes to spain i'm like yeah you have to be it's good i can bring the plane down well she or just like you can't have that all that stuff if you're gonna be like traveling around oh yeah if i was going to europe i i would just have a backpack yeah i would just like a travel one but we'll see what i don't know yeah but she

think about how much lip gloss she needs to bring it hey and purses and like and footballs and sticks because she's well think about yeah her hockey stick can't fit in a normal thing yeah all right should we hear an am i the asshole yeah i was gonna say last time i went on a flight i kept like locking eyes with this girl in the airport not in a way of like flirting but like i just every time i looked up she was looking at me and we just happened to catch eyes like so many times and i was like i don't want her to get a vibe that i'm you know trying to flirt with her or whatever so i tried to ignore her but then when i got on my flight it was a southwest flight where you pick your own seat yep and i'm heading to the back of the plane and as people are filling

in the seats i realized the only available seat in the back of the plane is the one right next to her and she is like daggers staring at me as i'm walking down the aisle like yep your seat's gonna be right here buddy oh really chat it up yeah and i was like oh no and so i turned around and i just like checked to see if there were any more seats like towards the front of the plane and i got so lucky there was one middle seat and uh i was like oh can i sit there and the woman was like that's actually my son so i'm gonna sit in the middle seat and you can have the aisle nice like whoa was the one next to her a window or an aisle it was an aisle and you were gonna sit in the middle instead of sitting next to this girl what you were gonna sit in the middle seat

next to her because i didn't want to talk to her you don't know because i felt like we had a vibe the whole airport and then i was like i was i don't know i was vibing bro i don't want to be what's funny about that is that's like if for if you're single that's like the dream i am yeah exactly of course it only happens when i'm in a relationship yeah exactly i uh i've been really trying to be better about being like uh part of the gate lice you know they call the the agents call the people that like hang around that are like before boarding and started in a crowd the area they call them gate lice so i try and be like way far away uh but now the way that these people block it like you will miss your zone if you're not up there yeah because you're

so annoying everyone should just stay in their fucking little seats fuck them yeah they fuck them all they will like they will crowd around they'll be like group c but they'll like start crowding at group a and they'll just wait for like rows and rows of people and if you're like group b you're like no i have to like get through you right why are you not flying american dog southwest actually has more room for my feet because it's really hard for me to like fit my feet under the seats and i can't do it on like united american so i always fly southwest because they give me enough like feet room wow which yours isn't a leg room issue it's a feet i mean leg too but feet mainly like i'll get more leg room if i can put my feet under the chair

you know your feet are size 40 uh 41 wait why don't the that's like normal that would be like a small foot in europe yeah these are 43 yeah they're 43 43 the european sizes are why do they have so many sizes because they're setting it's centimeters instead of inches but do they do like 41 42 43 44 like do they have like 45 versions of every shoe oh i don't know i think everything's sort of in the 40s right yeah 30s and 40s what about babies babies are i don't think they get shoes in europe because there's no i don't well they've running water in europe no yeah they did but they forgot how it worked yeah should we hear it am i the asshole yes we shall am i the asshole for wishing one twin a happy birthday and not the other yes so basically i've

been close friends with both of them for like six years and had a falling out with one of them last year like kind of just ghosted me wouldn't respond to my calls slash texts but also said that there was nothing wrong so i still don't really know what happened birthdays are important to me and i noticed she didn't wish me a happy birthday so now when it came for their birthday last month i decided to send one of uh one of them that i'm still friends with a really nice message and nothing to the other now they've both iced me out and so has the rest of the friend group am i the asshole so i i actually am an authority on this i had a close i was very close friends with twins and i had a falling out with one of the twins uh in college and i text the twin that i've stayed

in touch with for his birthday every year and i don't text the other one but i think it's i think everyone's aware of the situation i don't think it's like a secret it's not like at this point it's just like what's done is done like i'm friends with one of them and not the other right and i think that's fine are they identical they are do you ever be like like having a really good time with the with the one that you do like and then you're like you look you look you look like the one who betrayed me no i know i think they look i feel like if you know twins really well it's like yeah you don't even eventually they stop like they look yeah yeah um also i feel like we treat twins like they're the same person yeah which is i think that's why in this case the

twins are being a little like if you had a i mean i guess you need to unpack whatever happened with the with the one twin but like i i almost think that like not the but like they they wouldn't want you to assume you have to do both or none it's like right you can be friends with one and not the other right like i think that's fine if you are still friends it sounded like she was still friends with one of them yeah and then text so she texted that one it's just like why would she why would that twin expect her to text the one that's already been like icing her out i think i don't think you're the asshole at all but i will say girl birthdays are confusing to me and heck and it seems like a much bigger deal so maybe there's more maybe you're supposed to text them

even if you're not friends i guess you know how girls are on their birthdays yeah like you're saying and girls be having friends they just like hate yeah that's really weird too there there's other yeah there is one that they're all like and she sucks and you're like yeah she does suck and they're like hey yeah yeah what you guys were all just fucking talking about yeah i've been around girls on their birthday where they're like oh my best friend didn't text me like right at 8 a.m like what the fuck is up with that and then they like like ruin their whole birthday over it they're like i'm not gonna talk to her at the dinner tonight i'm like she's literally coming tonight like she can just say happy birthday dad like you're gonna see her today i uh i i'm anti

birthday i think we should not tell anyone when they were born i don't really tell anyone no no like don't like oh don't tell the person yeah like you shouldn't know your own birthday just age i think it'll make everyone a little bit less stressed out do you know what time you were born i think it was like four in the morning 4 30 it was like one in the morning you were okay early bird what happens when you like feel older on the same day every year though wouldn't that like give it away that's a good point you would know yeah you would wait you look older you feel like you're you're at the coffee you're at the coffee cup and you're like you're the coffee mug and what am i talking about you're at the coffee mug you're at the

coffee maker at the office and they're like like good morning will and you're like feeling way older is it your birthday i don't know it happened to be january 6th again what about a tv show where like that's the whole problem is just like no one knows their birthday it's like severance but it's like everyone trying to figure out when their birthdays are it doesn't really matter yeah it's pretty low stakes or they're like a kid's trying to buy beer yeah and they're like i don't know can i see your id he looks at he's like there's no birthday nothing yeah obviously no one knows all of us that's our whole world that's like the change the government made when that would actually be insane dude everyone's lives would be insane there are a lot of i probably could

rent a car yeah there are a lot of countries in africa apparently where they don't like like minute bowl apparently they like don't know they have no fucking clue how old he is because they just never told him could be the move and he looks great all right what keep in your pants all right you're not the asshole i was gonna say with twins i remember one time in elementary school my teacher was trying to prove that twins are different people because we just always lump them two together and she was like well you guys have like different opinions on things right and they were like no no and she was like well what's your favorite color and they're both like red and she's like oh what's your favorite restaurant they were like both like chili's and they were

like wearing the exact same outfit that day too and she was like okay maybe they are the same person what's your favorite app they're like the new york times games or no i meant like the like all the questions are just about chili wings oh what's your favorite color chili's red what's your favorite restaurant chili's what's your favorite app the southwest egg rolls should Did we do, like, a Chili's-a-thon? Oh, you know what was cracking me up? Lauren posted, like, a TikTok about her upcoming adventure or whatever, and it said, like, New Beginnings at the title,

and someone commented, when I read New Beginnings, I thought you took Willie to the Cheesecake Factory. That's a deep cut, guys. If she ever... I mean, new playmates. That is where Lauren told us she was breaking up with us. If she ever breaks up with you,

you have to tell her she has to do it at the Cheesecake Factory. I have told her that. Like, that would be, like... I would be like, I would respect for the bit. If you're ever going to break up with me, please take me. That would be so sad, though, if you're like, where are we going tonight? She's like, it's a surprise. And you pull into the cheesecake parking lot.

Dude, getting. I'd be devastated. Yeah. Getting broken up with is the craziest thing in the world. Thinking about like, I can't imagine it right now, because it would be like the equivalent of like a really close friend being like, we're not friends anymore. you're like what where did that come from wait a breakup i don't know what that meant do you know i think it's worse than the really wait or no i'm saying like like i would be like that surprised

oh okay yeah you know what i mean yeah i'm really saying you don't think you're gonna get i'm really out of it today i'm sorry fucking sue me i'm talking about how crazy it would be if my girlfriend broke up it'd be insane what if our girlfriends did it together i think that if flan ever broke up with me i would don't say something you'd see it on the news stop not towards her i'm saying like i'd like go like cha-cha mode on abagini cha-cha matcha but still that's i think that's like toxic language no i would be like super respectful and then the second she left my house nobody i would just it's like a threat of like your it wouldn't affect her life she's not in

my life anymore i would just break all my legos and then piss the bed okay that's fine yeah she she almost broke my globe my lego globe the other day and the the like anticipation of rage when i thought it was gonna break well i was like scared of it i was like i think i need to get rid of legos because it was like i was i was literally about to like like cry yeah there's rage is there rage inside of you how hard have you what's the heart have you ever raged yeah also steph uh you know steph quick plays fortnite we're sitting next to our co-worker steph today she has any big weekend plans it's like telling her about me and she has new fortnite season out it's south park theme and i was like

and i would not have guessed that about you i wouldn't gamer the game south park team feels weird too yeah it's that game for like little kids tv show what it's a tv show fortnight south park yeah isn't fortnight for a little kid oh no south park's not fortnight south park's in fortnight and i'm saying south park contains kind of adult material so it feels like a maybe a strange show to be in gotcha okay does that make sense yeah have you seen the kim kardashian skin is that real yeah is it thick you tell me god is it gonna make us like this gonna ruin my day i already know okay obviously do it from behind jesus man that's gross

damn all right kind of just like looks like her maybe i should start playing fortnite again huh more you know okay uh should we do am i the asshole yeah we just did it actually that's the secret sorry should we do this guy rocks yes i am so sorry this is a guy named famous boyd okay and he's gonna sing us his rendition of empire state of mind uh on a recent trip to new york hit me in brooklyn now i'm up in manhattan now i'm up at duncan america it runs on it now i'm up on 8th street now i'm up on 9th street now i'm up on 10th street all these streets have their own numbers now i'm up in harlem now i'm walking Broadway. Now I'm down in Soho. Shout out public transportation. This city's a large one. I know

every part of it, but at the end of the day, it's fuck Staten Island. I'm from. Yeah, these are just locations to me. These are just locations, but this sounds like a lovely place. That's great. You kind of crushed that. These are just locations to me. These are just locations to me. This is a guy getting married okay oh my gosh oh my gosh this is incredible i hope this guy had a great wedding he seems like probably the nicest guy of all time But it was the voice, like the isolated audio, like just him cracking me up. I feel like it's going to be, those are the videos where it's like when a golden retriever boyfriend marries a black cat girlfriend. That's literally the text on the screen.

Oh, I can't see. It's blocked by the. When a golden retriever groom walks down the aisle. Snipe. Nailed it. Let's go. Let's go, baby. What is you?

What is you? can you imagine having like the happiest day of your life and then two fucking jackoffs are making funny yeah no i mean the comment section was ruthless oh okay what are they saying these people were horrible i just know he says yellow when he answers the phone this is insanely embarrassing i don't think it's like that i think it's just he's just like a little he's like why they mic'd this dude up yeah i don't want to be mic'd up on my wedding day yeah that's so funny all right should we do commercials that don't exist or malifores that don't exist whatever you want baby these are more malifores that don't exist strike while the squeaky wheel

has the grease burning the midnight cat bag if you can't beat them skin a cat don't hit the nail on the head that bleeds you that's good a rolling stone is in the pudding what does that mean rolling stone gathers no moss oh oh i like that a rolling stone i thought the i thought rolling stones came up with that name fuck that's cool well there's like a million i think rolling stone has been it's like bob dylan's got a song like a rolling stone oh i thought that was about the rolling stones no huh it's like an old time beat around the bush that has two birds in it that's good many hands make roman a day it's raining herded cats blood is thicker than a dead horse

i feel like there's only like so many right yeah i think there might not be a lot more juice to squeeze if yeah i agreed should do commercials yeah these are commercials that don't exist all right it shows a guy going through the mcdonald's drive-thru every morning and he gets his coffee cup with the monopoly game on it and then he eats his sandwich and then he goes home and it shows his feet on the scale and every day he's getting heavier and he's getting heavier and he's getting heavier and then when he's at like 300 pounds the camera pans up and he's holding all the money that he won from the monopoly game but he's still very thin that's awesome oh oh because it's the money and not the weight yeah that's great uh a bank commercial

where a guy goes in to rob the bank and everyone at the bank is so friendly that he changes his mind and opens up a savings account that's fantastic i love that um that's like good that's really good i like shouldn't be giving that out no but here's the thing is like no one could ever use these because there's proof that it was our idea yeah a postmates driver knocks on the door and a beautiful woman opens the door they hit it off it shows them like get exchanging info they go on their first date they're like you know getting married she's pregnant and then she like has a kid and when they're bringing the baby home to the house there's a knock at the door and it's another postmates driver and he has diapers that's kind of that's that would maybe warm the heart

yeah yeah i like that uh the taco a commercial for a taco place where a guy's shitting his absolute brains out but he's smiling the whole time and he's saying worth it that's phenomenal uh similar vein a guy gets broken up with he goes out to the bars and he's getting like fucking hammered he's like knocking shit off the wall like bumping into girls like the bouncer like throws him out into the street and his clothes are all tattered and he like stumbles home and uh pulls out his phone and orders taco bell and then it says taco bell we know when you eat us uh glasses commercial for glasses company uh it's about a wife who finally gets glasses that fit her prescription needs she puts them on and she realizes her

husband is oj simpson wow i can see everything and she pans over she's like oh the juice what are you doing there oh my god that's phenomenal those are great all right we love you guys have a great wednesday yeah um yeah have a great rest of your weekend and we will see you bright and early on monday monday love you peace Thank you.