Will & Rusty's Playdate - our hibachi chef stayed the night

Episode Date: September 3, 2025

On a crazy viral Playdate, Willy talks about his insane experience at the LA Sparks game (s/o Ari), Rusty runs into Hercules, and a hibachi chef almost stayed the night. The gang also discuss getting swindled in Vegas and another airport story. Plus, the boys draft college football traditions that don’t exist and ways to say you have to poop. As always, we wrap up with Rusty’s song of the day. JOIN US IN SUPPORT OF BEST BUDDIES: https://www.bestbuddieschampion.org/maine/supporting/#willandrustysplaydate&donate/5363257/0 FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP OUR MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/ RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: Download Cash App Today: [https://click.cash.app/ui6m/ba1zl21n] #CashAppPartner Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get 20% off + free shipping with promo code PLAYDATE at shopmando.com! #mandopod SUBMIT YOUR BUSINESS PITCH HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdPHd7Ps9TaX-TOozyLhDpr9Y7pFNMP9PX7cHuLxap1R78GWg/viewform?usp=header SUBMIT YOUR AITA STORY HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdQElfqdQutn3dzl5HcZfey6YWhbVd-n6XE7FkpfosWZyYhyA/viewform?usp=sf_link 00:00 - Intro 2:28 - Rusty’s Trip 14:19 - LA Sparks Game 22:56 - Hammered at Hibachi 31:27 - Hercules 34:38 - Uber Drivers 39:44 - Getting Swindled 52:05 - Roadmap 53:36 - Pitches 1:05:10 - This Guy Rocks 1:09:29 - Teach Me Something 1:14:14 - College Football Traditions That Don’t Exist 1:16:22 - Ways to Say You Have to Poop 1:17:03 - RSOTD #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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chilling my bones we going we are yeah play date episode what is it 37 137 137 and i andrew and i were like 37 is a horrible number but i think i may have one wasn't patrice bergeron 37 i don't know no way pull up patrice bergeron dumbass name be patrick bro 37 did you google that i swear to got it you andrew andrew's andrew watched it in real time he watched you google no we both said he said what episode's saying i said 37 i'm not yeah you're right wow 37 nice but be patrick bro what are you doing i know patrice i thought he was i thought he was uh him and brad marchand i thought we're both like french guys until they can french canadian oh that makes more sense i just you wouldn't think they're from canada yeah i guess i always think french guy from

because of old orchard beach bro my parents live in yeah in basically french canadian that is that those guys andrew that come and vacay in will's town like if i'm wearing a five inch inseam bathing suit i'm like this is a little risky these guys it is like negative like it's like uh speedos speedos but they're not even they're not like full coverage like swimming speedos it's like it's it splits the the balls are out it's just the shaft that's legal just the back of your it's your penis is backwards planted against your chest it's just a p it's like you know they do like stickers on the ends of boobs it's just like a little sticker on the tip on the ends of boobs tassel that goes over the tip of your penis it is funny to think about

somebody googling like how much ball can i show yeah when does it become a crime yeah um all right well you're back so we had been everything you've heard for the last two weeks we had to like tape in like a one week span before jack left so but i'm back he's back i was on a killer vacation yeah tell us all about it well boy i have a handful of stories for you guys uh this will will actually work backwards the the craziest who wants their andrew do you want your airport story i do yeah the playdates love it i pulled into uh the portland jet port which is the only way to get out of there if you're going anywhere that's not like new york to make any real connecting flight you have to be on like a 6 30 a.m flight it's hard to make authentic connections there exactly

thank you it's kind of like love island yeah my flight was boarding at six o'clock we were responsible and we got there at like 4 55 which was ample time for the jet port and uh we get we get into the uh the checked bag line and uh the lady at the desk just goes all right does anyone go into atlanta and like 30 people behind us raised their hand she was like all right all you guys are going first and we were like okay that makes sense like maybe it's like a tight connection or whatever and uh or they they it was slow whatever but here's where i draw the line i was waiting in line for 40 minutes and like new guys were showing up like five minutes before their flight and being like atlanta and they would just cut the the whole line yeah so i was standing

there for like 40 minutes then we by the time we got up there my sister went through 30 minutes before i said like there's no lot no tsa pre-check line like you guys will cruise right in but these all these atlanta people that showed up five minutes before their flight was taking off filled up this thing and so now i showed up so early that i'm i'm now almost late to my flight we get on the flight everything's good we're like so you didn't miss a flight no not at all here's here's but it was like okay we got through that the and we have a little bit of a tight connection in jfk so it was like all right as long as everything here goes smoothly we're good the the cockpit door is still open when the pilot's doing all this you know when they're

like flipping like a million switches yeah she the pilot goes all right so we're about to close the cockpit door and uh we'll get pushed off here and we're actually going to be early into jfk and everyone's like nice and then with her microphone still on it's like no no no no no no and put in and turns her microphone off and i can see in there she's like losing her mind the whole all the lights in the plane shut off everything in the cockpit shut off and we were like oh my god what the fuck is happening the apparently the plane uses power from the from the like dock whatever whatever the yeah bridge the jet bridge and the person was just asleep at the wheel and fucking turned it off before they had like fully turned the plane on and so she's like head in her

hands like no no no and like turned her microphone off and then i watched her it literally looked like like those like rubik's cube prodigies like she hit like a million different buttons in like the blink of an eye everything came back on she was like oh okay and got back on the microphone it was like all right uh yep they disconnected our power but i saved it and everyone was like and then we and then we we got out of there me on that star wars ride where they give you jobs yeah you're like just pressing any button you're just like okay okay but like me when my mom walk in and i'm looking at a lewd image no no no no no no no the best part was like it was clearly more important to save the plane than to like turn off her microphone so we did hear like that

is like no no fuck yeah we don't know exactly what you want to hear no but it that was what it sounded like it sounded like oh my god there's been like a huge computer failure and we're gonna after like de-bored everyone it wasn't like oh no it was like a fuck no no no no irreplace or irreversible damage damn i'm glad you made it i know was there any part of you like that was like all right like a little on edge then after that no okay yeah it was that's one of those times where i think it's okay to get off the plane you're like no no no fuck and then comes on two minutes later and goes actually we're fine actually we're actually that was now we're gonna be at jfk on time all right who wants an extra bag of peanuts it's like in uh have you seen almost famous andrew

no so they're it's about the it's kind of loosely based on the allman brothers and they uh and that's what they call my dad and his brother he sells almonds uh it's kind of loosely based on a few bands whatever but they're like kind of just starting to make it and jimmy fallon is their new manager and he like gets them this this private jet to get them around quicker so they can do more stops on their tour and they're over like topeka and a thunderstorm like lightning storm starts happening and the plane's crashing and so they're all like telling each other secrets on the way down like you know what if this is how we're going out like like you fucking changed man whatever like this band is like going to shit because of you and one of them who's the drummer

has been silent the whole movie he's just like fuck it i'm gay and then and then the sun comes out and the plane like stabilizes and they're all like oh no that's awesome i gotta watch that movie it's really good i got a new man crush jimmy fallon no they're one of my dad my dad's got like a ragtag group of guys that it's a dude it's like a dude your dad knows it's like one of my dad's best friends um they have this thing called the drive to 85 they're gonna play they're they want to play golf together for the rest of their lives so they're gonna they've like formed this group and like in the summer they're all at the same place in maine but they're gonna like visit each other in the winter or whatever and uh he's wait what does drive to 85 mean they're gonna play

golf until they're until they're 85 i guess i don't know it seemed it's not the most ambitious age are there yeah are there like rules like no i think it's this this guy is just a very good like uh organizer of men he's like a leader of men so i think he's like if we put a name on it i like that it's gonna be we're gonna be able to rally people a little quicker but i was i'd heard like you know mythical stories about this guy they're like he walks the chorus and he drinks like five tubulars on the front nine then he's like tubular tubulars an or like a high abvb they we call them oh oh i actually have that yeah i thought it was like we call them mind erasers um and uh and i thought he was gonna be this scary guy he's from south

africa or whatever and then my dad's like you know we're gonna play with him and so we go out he picks he picks me as his partner and we go down six holes to my dad and and their other friend and then on the back nine uh the car girl the car girl was not coming very often on the front nine and i think my dad told me there are two ways to beat him you either get the car girl to never come yeah and he is distracted because he wants a drink or you get the car girl to come like nine times okay but if anywhere and if he get if he has like three cocktails and he's the best golfer alive yeah maizey the car girl comes back around on on 10 we get a cocktail we won six straight holes in a row tie it up that's awesome and then we tied the last two holes and we tied but uh

um that was a yeah but so i'm like oh my god this guy's so and he has such a great out outlook on like i used to get very like frustrated about golf and he's like i would hit one in the woods he's like no it's perfect like that's on the cut fescue you're gonna love it over there it just makes everyone feel good we uh we go we were out on the boat and i'm like can you bring me to his house i want to see his i want to see his place because i'm like obsessed with this guy we go his boat's gone we're like oh damn so we go back to our house he's waiting outside of our house in his boat and my sister was like these guys are star-crossed lovers i was a little drunk and uh my dad was like i'll give you 20 bucks if you do the like fair uh forrest gump thing where he's

like lieutenant dan and then he like jumps off the boat and like swims in and so i jumped off and got onto fred's boat and he cut the engine when i jumped off and uh his the battery wouldn't The battery died, so we're just dead in the water in his boat. Let me guess, did he have a great outlook on it? He did, actually. He was just like, this is fun. And then they came in for a beer, but this guy's the coolest. That's awesome.

I'm trying not to pick up. Sometimes when I find a new guy, I start trying to pick up their mannerisms. And I think I was doing it a little bit the first night, and Flan was just like, it's very clear what you're doing right now. you're not you're we aren't all of a sudden like hey jack's way cooler tonight yeah yeah yeah have you ever talked about your killer guy list on the pod that's chester and will's killer guy oh yeah but my roommate was on it the killer guys are dead what happened to that we i don't know if i'm sure we talked about it at some point but we had assembled a list of um guys that we've only

met like once or twice but they just had a killer showing yeah it can't be like a guy you really know it's just like a guy who was around that night and was just like the next day you're like that guy was money yeah it also it seemed like there was a common theme where uh that it was all white yeah we were dealing with diversity issues yeah i more meant like you were trying i meant like something about guys that made it onto the killer guy list like they didn't really care about yeah they didn't want to be you can't want to be a killer guy and people would ask yeah and they no i more meant like they didn't even really want to be where you were yeah like they'd like hang out and be like killer for 45 minutes and they'd have like

way cooler plans and leave the most killer thing a guy can do is be like all right i'm out all right later and ever and you're like no mic drop yeah he leaves you wanting more just getting started too and they're like i got better things to do and they're like you don't know it's like yeah you're like where's he going where's he going like the freaking cool guy meet up right the killer guy maybe he's going into the back room with all the other killer guys and make out they say you're supposed to be the last guy to a party and the first one to leave but i do i do the complete opposite yeah they say if you want to make a good impression i feel like you should be the first guy and first to leave no you want to you want to roll in like like you had way cool

you would well you were you got you're trying to impress you got caught up surfing or something and you roll in and you're like I always feel I've hosted like two barbecues and after that

now like when anyone's having like a thing at their house I'm always like we should be there within the first 30 minutes because

I try when you're I feel bad because I know how every time I've hosted anything you sit there for two hours and then everyone shows up and it's excruciating

and you have like a hundred beers it's running like the thoughts start running through your head of like do I suck yeah

so it's like am I the worst guy ever just get there set the tone i get there i always get there early i got you guys presents oh i was so the opposite when i hosted parties in college i would say like what what did you say i said i got you guys presents oh no tell us about sorry tell us party tell us about college but anyway i anytime i hosted a party i would be like yeah party at like nine expecting everyone to show up at like 10 10 30

and then when people showed up at nine i would kind of get mad because i haven't even started setting up yet like why would you actually show up at nine who shows up at nine yeah the worst is like uh like try to take a dump before you're hosting a pre-game then you hear some guy like banging around in the kitchen you're like who is here somebody like lets himself that feels like a one that's happened a lot that happened to me a handful of times i uh can i give you your please all right sorry i got excited ready yeah whoa we got matching hats sparks so these are sick i went to an la sparks game we talked about on the podcast and i had been because you went and i said i wanted to go and then the sparks reached out no they did not they you didn't

i think you were on the email how'd they get our emails they got they like submitted something to kc and then he forwarded it to us and so i went to the game dude i can be bought i'll be a sparks i'll be an awesome shout out ari he got he's a playmate who listened that works at the sparks hooked us up hooked me up all right i went with andrew though yeah yeah yeah all right all right it was an insane game kelsey plum hit a buzzer beater to win page backers dropped 44 points rookie record unbelievable i had bet kelsey that was the game you guys went to yes that was like that was like everywhere you only hear you only hear about like one wmba game a week yeah that was the one i was like aware of that week it was crazy page backers was played she got shot 80

percent from the field 17 for 21 and then at the end it was just her and kelsey pulling back and forth it was the best like in terms of like how the sporting event played out best sporting event live i bet like it was i tried to tell you i tried to tell you where they oh i know yeah were they doing all their their like were there any male nurses shaking ass i didn't see a male nurse shaking ass you andrew lawler and how's it dream dream blunt rotation and uh i bet Before the game I bet Kelsey Plum Over 19.5 points

And when the Sparks Were losing I live bet them To win And they won On a buzzer beater That was her 20th point So the last shot

Of the game As time expires All my bets Well all the guys Two around us Had the same bet Yeah they had All the same

Everyone was going nuts Yeah not only Was everyone pumped That the Sparks won But it was also Everyone's bet Hit with that last shot Yeah because everyone

Had Kelsey Plum's over They were playing Dallas which is dallas wings yeah all right did you guys figure out the beer situation uh what was that remember how it was like they only have pre they only have american and then premium and you were like yeah they probably have a million other things oh i i wasn't drinking so i don't i don't well we just got normal like i think i drank like nickelode the whole time like they just had normal beers yeah did you say can i have an american beer and they handed you that no i think i was like can i have a nickelode i mean they had like draft i gotta learn i gotta learn how to be a little bit

more assertive i think you just got i think you just get up there and get flustered i think you should have just taken like a deep breath or you could ask like what are your american views it's like when you're when you're trying when you're trying to um anyone can talk and not think about when you're taking breaths until you're like reading a script or like read like when we're doing ad reads sometimes i'll be like i haven't i haven't taken a breath since the beginning yeah i get up there and i want to just yeah i get it up i got andrew present too oh i was at target yesterday and uh let's just say i was i was shopping willie we said no gifts and well i just thought this screamed andrew so i guess i should hold it up for the camera

i saw this shirt and i said now that now that's a goofy uh shirt that's awesome right pretty sweet huh You've had to send me some money over the years. I actually just – no, I'm going to cut you off. I just cash-apped two days ago. I was at the USC-Missouri State football game, and I wanted to buy a Modelo outside the stadium after from one of those hot dog carts. Bink.

I said, do you take car? And she said, I got cash-apped. Yep. And I said, no-brainer, cash-apped her, got a Modelo. Then I was like, do you have another one? She was like, no. So I went to another stand. She cash-apped you.

No, no, no. And then I was like, do you have one? And he's like, I have one high noon. And I was like, Cash App? And he said, Cash App. Cash App'd him. We all had to Cash App my friend Aiden Buckley for our fantasy football buy-in yesterday. Yep.

And we know it's going to be safe because it was through Cash App. I will say, I have a sneaky suspicion he's going to buy Bitcoin with it. But we will see how it goes. You can do that right through Cash App. You actually can do that. Yes, you can do that through Cash App. I've done it. uh you know at one time i uh was years ago in high school i i was drinking with my buddies and

one of my buddies was like bitcoin's gonna be huge or whatever and i bought a hundred dollars worth of bitcoin on cash app and i completely forgot about it and then two months later it it tripled like if i put like a real amount of money in it i would have made a i mean not that it wasn't real but i won i made 200 on bitcoin anyway yep carry on guys and cash app is way more than just a safe way to send and receive money with the cash app app card you unlock a ton of perks without all the fees enjoy the benefits like exclusive early access to nationwide concert pre-sales like kendrick lamar the weekend and sabrina carpenter just to name a few plus discounts on everyday purchases and popular brands you're probably already spending money on

cash app also adds security to your money by declining suspicious card transactions and sending you a notification to make sure the payment you sent is really you if your card is ever lost or stolen you can lock it with just one tap right in the app spend with confidence with the cash app app card today for a limited time only new cash app customers can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash just download cash app app use our exclusive referral code friday 10 in your profile and send five dollars to a friend within 14 days and you'll get ten dollars dropped right into your account terms apply cash app is a financial services platform not a bank banking services provided by cash apps bank partner prepaid debit cards issued

by sutton bank member fdic direct deposit overdraft coverage and discounts provided by cash app a block inc brand visit cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures let's get back into the episode that's awesome that might be a cool shot yeah we transition right into the ad yeah uh dude i forgot about i was doing my lawn shirt yes and uh i stumbled upon that rockaholic shirt that a playmate said yeah i was like no i think lauren's mom sent those to us oh okay lauren's mom i was like where did i get this it's an awesome shirt i don't i don't remember uh getting it uh you were blacked out that episode i was blacked out that episode when was the last time you blacked out i went oh it's been a while now i mean dude i was driving

on the on your marathon path oh really yeah it was gorgeous all right that's good you're gonna run right by flan's house really yeah is she gonna come cheer if she's oh also the browns asked if you need a place to stay mrs brown says you can stay at their house i appreciate it i did book a hotel already yeah yeah but also talking about the football team well i think he's talking about what i'm gonna have at about mile 23 i asked my sister because she's running the new york one i was like would you are you gonna poop yourself for time she's like no i'm gonna she said she's gonna stop and like mingle and stuff i've thought about it if i like if i'm cutting if i'm really close to my time and i could see the finish line then i'll poop myself that's the only condition

but here's the thing which is like a that's you can't go to the bar after don't you like isn't that like if you go to the hotel first i don't know anyone in minneapolis or st paul oh your parents aren't gonna i know my parents will be there but it's just gonna be me my mom my dad We're not going to go party after. I don't know. I don't think you'll feel like partying after. I don't either. Although, honestly, Saturday, I did 18 miles, my longest one yet, in the morning.

Wow. And then I went to a housewarming, and then I went to the USC football game. And honestly, I felt pretty good. Wow. Good for you. I'm feeling good right now. Yeah. I had a great, great run on Saturday.

Why were you a Missouri State fan? My buddy, Charlie, was here. His brother is a wide receiver for Missouri State. He's one of my good friends from college. that makes i was like because it's one thing to go and be like we're just gonna root for the funny they were all wearing like missouri state polos and i was like they're really committing to this bit flan flan text or slid up on will's story and was like fight on because she went to usc and will will did not like that i believe i said fuck you no i did not i think i just

felt like you were really feeling missouri state no but it was it was fun to go i'd never of the coliseum the coliseum is very fun yeah i don't enjoy i don't enjoy that the bathrooms are outside bathrooms are outside like you have to walk out of the coliseum and like go into the parking lot no or that roundabout like the concourse yeah yeah but that's outside i guess yeah it's all outdoors no yeah okay here's a fun thing that happened to me please yesterday no yesterday was one day sunday i went to hibachi nice or i did hibachi like one of those things have you ever seen like i've only ever seen it on instagram there's a very big difference between going and doing yeah so wait a minute i wasn't doing it no but like have you i've only ever

seen it on like girls instagram stories but like where they do hibachi like in someone's yard like a guy comes and they say oh yeah i did that at sam barrett's house okay yeah and the guy the guy had like a katana it was like letting us play with it and it was like this is i appreciate the immersion factor but yeah that feels dicey yeah he's like throwing food you're just dude he was yeah ninja so sorry where did you do it no it was at my friend our friend bella's house in malibu it was gorgeous wow and uh super cool but the guy the guy was awesome he was like great energy from the get-go but like he had like a water gun of sake that they're like spraying in everyone's mouth and then like a couple of people started like turning it on him and he'd be like and then

like it happened like eight times and then i was starting to think i was like this guy's to drive home by the end of it this guy i was like i feel like he might be drunk but like i don't know him well enough to like get a good read on it and it was just funny it was like yeah i was like i was like everyone was like but like oh more sake for that guy i was like do you guys all realize that there's an inflection point at which he has to stay here and then like they're all like going in the pool and they were like jump in the pool jump in the pool and he was like oh oh and i was like the the fine line we are on right now where this is really funny but the moment this man jumped in the pool everyone would be like oh yeah oh he's here now oh no that was like i was thinking

like a funny sketch like the hibachi guys like oh and then he gets like too hammered and he's like oh i gotta stay here tonight yeah dude that was what are you guys doing tomorrow yeah you guys trying to hang out that was like uh someone's uber we had a dart aid when i was in college and someone brought their uber driver in he was doing keg stands we were like okay like one keg yeah not gonna get him drunk but like again or do you want him to leave his car here and have to like coordinate that in the morning like there was what was the fucking oh when i was a freshman in college this is the this is the exact the exact thing that bless you i i was dd'ing uh the older guys in my fraternity to a golf tournament the Arnold Palmer Classic and I was gonna drive them

and their girlfriends there and uh we got there and they these are Peter's older brothers and they were like all right we'll see you in like five hours and I was like oh like I was I kind of knew that was coming but like I was hoping maybe they'd surprise me with the ticket and I was so I stayed in the car and he was like dude I'm joking I obviously got you a ticket so they brought brought me in and got me hammered because I it was I was pledging whatever and one of their girlfriends was like this ruins the whole point of taking him we're now like one of that one of the girls had to like stop drinking because they were like i have to now drive this car home wait what was it that you're at it was a the arnold palmer classic oh nice golf yeah yeah yeah arnold

palmer classic okay we we had this country music fest every year at texas a&m where uh it was called chili fest and i don't think there was ever any chili but it was a bunch of country stars in the middle of nowhere and only girls were really allowed to go it was just like it was like frats frats would like have like parties or what they call like builds i thought you meant this was a like this was a music festival by the fraternity yeah no no no like frats were like had like these little like build things that like girls could go to and like get drunk at but it was like if you weren't in a frat one of these up i think i've seen they're like really impressive like they always go viral on tiktok viral google viral chili

most viral chili they are really really impressive and i also don't know like how they make them like you just have do you want to know the real answer andrew there's my alma mater my uh those are my brother my brethren built that one um brother you just have a hundred kids that have no choice but to figure it out you think that's what it is like the the pledges are just like yes i know i know for i know for a fact that all of these were built by 17 and 18 yeah they look like big castles but like people get up on these platforms i'm like i do not trust an 18 year old engineer that's in like intro to engineering 101 yeah i think i think elevated service it's really i don't know

how to build anything i don't really either but it so it's kind of like a knowledge of the crowd thing andrew if there if there are when we had our new guys build something yeah probably one out of 15 kids knows how to build something structurally sound so we had one guy that was like yeah leading the charge these guys have a hundred pledges so there's probably like four of them that can kind of be foreman and like lead the charge yeah i had them build i had them try and build a stage for my buddy we had we were going to hold this thing called orchid fest yeah and it was going to be my buddy brooks was going to dj and then our friend carl was going to get up there and play sax and everyone was going to party and i needed them to build a stage like no bigger than where

we're sitting right now and uh in my head it was gonna be wood like any any logical person yeah and they kind of honestly this is on me for not giving them more direction i came out and they were just stacking cinder blocks really high and then they were gonna lay like a thin piece of wood over it that they got from home depot and the set i like didn't brooks would be up there and when a dj's kind of like gets going the stage should be should be stationary and it was kind of like moving with him and we were like if this thing goes down that's gonna that's gonna sting really bad yeah yeah i never built anything we built one of those like platforms to do like a double decker couch thing in college and one time we were hosting a watch party for a football game

and two of the biggest guys decided to both sit up there at the same time and so the rest of the party my roommate and i were like leaning around to like look because it was like clearly like caving in a little bit in the middle so like the whole time we'd just be like hopefully that doesn't collapse it's gonna be so embarrassing have you ever had them you know like yeah like under your bed they're usually like three posts in the middle that kind of keep like the middle sound i jumped on my bed yeah a couple months ago and i heard one of them go and i was like okay we'll just we'll deal with that later i woke up in the morning and my my bed was like a taco like the the way more weight is on that one yeah yeah yeah i i jumped on my

couch recently and i went and i was like scott was in the kitchen i was like what the fuck our couch is fucked i got a new roommate yeah how's that yesterday he just moved in nice it was great we all watched breaking bad and we got mexican last night nice freaking bad well the first week with a new roommate everyone has to be like very social like every night you guys are gonna eat dinner together and probably watch something and then yeah we'll see yeah i think i think i mean yeah we would sure be in a night nice yeah it'll be fun it seems great uh how do you know this guy fran he knows lauren's friend ava from college okay he went to ohio state oh h i o did you do like a screening beforehand did you do like an interview no he came to our a couple of our

barbecues okay so he's been and you're like okay we knew him was he a killer guy killer guy actually yeah yes came late left early came late left early he pays his rent really late it's cool it's so cool he pays his he his room is just uh there's nothing in there and i don't know where he sleeps i can't figure it out no there's just two there are two like straps on the top of the ceiling that are clear you you can't prove that he sleeps suspended from the ceiling like a bat but you yeah there's no bed yeah you know there's no crime at night do you know i ran into obama hercules do you remember hercules from wisconsin dude you're talking about mike shade the trash man yes i saw this on instagram dude you just ran into him ran

into him so mike andrew for this guy mike shea he's he's he is he is probably he's a killer guy dude speaking of killer guys he chester i didn't know the story so for context andrew we watched hercules aka mike shea eat like like 140 cheese curds or something we went to wisconsin for like the college tour last fall was that last fall yeah and he they did a cheese curd eating competition and this guy just dominated and he was good looking tall dominates the cheese curd competition he's like we're going out after we went out with him that night he was like the fucking man yeah chester chester ended up like sleeping in his house for four weeks or something dude mike told me mike told me that after he did that chester texted him and said wherever you're going

wherever whatever you and your friends are doing i want to be a part of it tonight he was like you're the coolest guy i've ever met and so chester hung out with him until like four in the morning yeah but so i was at a bar called maynards in minnetonka and there's he there's a guy like 30 yards away from me and i was like i cannot place that guy but i know him and we made eye contact and he came right over and i was like hercules how are you and he was like dude so good all my friends uh his friend his friends were like oh that's rusty and he was like yeah i know him i have his phone number and they were like no you don't and so he came over and said hello and he hung out for a little bit and uh another layer to that i'd posted that on instagram and

brendan goss my buddy from maine texted me he goes is that mike shea i was like how do you know him he goes i ran into him in punta cana and his family let me like hang out with him the whole way brendan said it was like oh i was like alone in punta cana and this family like took me in mike was like this is a testament to how cool he is mike goes yeah he ditched his friends for the whole week and just hung out with me and my family holy shit yeah and he and all summer he like does like the best like trash disposal i guess in minnesota the best yeah wait i so you said mike trey the trash man i thought maybe that was like like an 80s basketball name junk removal they call they call him the trash man the way he cleans that glass he's he gets everyone's junk and he i

don't know what he does with it i guess that's the mystery of mike shay google mike shay junk removal how do you know this yeah that's him yeah wait which one is he yeah he's on the right on the right he's the fucking man i told you he takes everyone's junk and i you don't even know where it goes you just know it's gone right and that's like the beauty it's gone he gets rid of it so quick you don't even care where it goes yeah you don't even give a shit where it's good look see he's got brand new website the grinch he's the fucking he's got a thing about the grinch but wait there's a fuck how do i get the thing about the grinch whatever anyway yeah he gets like the on the way to on the way to the bar that i saw mike at we call an uber and it's kind of like

maine in the sense that like there's not as it's not as easy to get an uber so like we called one and it's like you know 18 minutes away and it comes and picks us up and we already this bar apparently the line gets so long but people figured out a loophole where you can just make a reservation and then you can just go up and be like we have a reservation to eat and you can just go immediately out to the bar we already don't sit at your reservation no all their servers are probably like fuck this and uh so we were already like gonna cut it close here the uber driver was showing up at the perfect time where we'd still like maybe be in the grace period window of our reservation and we meet him right as he pulls up and he gets out and he's like in a full sweat

he looks like so it's like he's seeing a ghost and he was like i'm so sorry i have to go to the bathroom and we were like okay yeah do whatever like do you need to go in here or what he's like no i already talked to the restaurant they're gonna let me go in there i was thinking like wait at once you got to the restaurant so he's gonna get back in the car he was picking us up at our friend's apartment and there was a restaurant across the street from her apartment we're like 20 minutes away from the bar we're going to and uh he was like i already talked to the restaurant next door they're gonna let me use their restaurant we're like all right dude whatever yeah go in there i thought maybe like he really had to pee he went in there and i can

only imagine shit his brains out for like 10 15 minutes and then came sprinting out of the of the place and i was like hey man uh if if there's any way you can get us there like a little quicker because we were waiting in the car for like 15 minutes i was like we have a reservation is there any way you can get us there a little quicker and he was like yeah yeah i got you he's like i got you i'll floor it goes to the speed limit the whole time the car starts smelling like really gassy you kept shitting no no gassy in the sense of like like oh gasoline like there's like a gas leak in the car and we were like oh my god and so we roll the windows down it gets worse so we're like oh maybe it's like the car in front of us and he goes no this has been happening for days

we were like oh what like your car because this is exactly what happened to me and then my car exploded and i had to sell the car and we were like oh my god the car is gonna break down here and uh and it was fine but we were like he had that he had he'd been smelling like the strongest gas smell for days apparently and and was like i'll keep i'll keep ubering it was that gas that makes you shitting too come on you know he should come on yeah i had an uber driver this weekend who like i was already late for my flight and on the uber ride to the airport she was like do you mind if i pull over to go to the bathroom and like i had to be like no like you can't go i felt like the biggest piece of shit but i was just like dude i'm already so late i don't know how long

you're gonna be in there like i i really need to make this flight so i had to be like no wait where were you fine did you go home this weekend no i went to destin for the weekend um yeah my girlfriend her college friends had this like really nice like beach side um three-story house held like 30 people or something there was like 30 of us do you like your girlfriend's friends that's a good question yeah i did like them they were they were the first time meeting them it was my first time meeting them yeah yeah like you i hope so i think so it was kind of like they were like oh you're sadika's boyfriend and i was like yeah and then like they were like that's cool they kind of did their own thing because they're all friends like i'm like the new guy they did their

whole they did their own thing the whole weekend like without you no no no not like without me but they would like invite me to play like die and darts and stuff like that or whatever were their guy friends there yeah yeah it was like uh it was like a mix it was like guys so you do you think you had a good showing dude so funny you got like too drunk and acted weird yeah i was like i just stood in the corner the whole time and i just sipped it i stared at everyone no funny you say that um at one point they were like hey do you want to like play die with us and i was like yeah sure i haven't played in like forever but i'll play for like a little bit uh we ended up running the tables and this guy we run we won 10 games in a row it got to the point where everyone else

just gave up and left and we just had to go play another game because no one wanted to play die anymore and ever since then i felt the respect like rise a little bit more you know and people were like okay this guy's cool i did earn that shit yeah yeah yeah but then i had to fly out the next day so i didn't even get to like bask in it you know yeah yeah but that's cool that's as we discussed that's the coolest thing you could do oh yeah leave early and i didn't get more i got there late as well so i might be on someone's killer guy list they're all gonna hang over and be like oh my god andrew was so cool and you're already just out the door with your bags like all right lady y'all yeah i didn't even say bye to half the people

my brother my brother my brender my brother had a um he had like his 30th birthday party no this was like years ago and like one of his buddies i guess i guess just like they were in new orleans for the weekend and just both nights just got ended up in like the back room of a strip club like both nights they like went to the strip club or whatever and like but it was like guys and girls like it was like a fun thing and like one guy just both nights just got ended up in a back room like spending like thousands of dollars they had to like bust him out i think one guy had to pretend he had diabetes to be like i have to get him the first anyway after the second night they're all like whatever like he we can't get him like he did it again

whatever they go back they go to bed they wake up the next day all this stuff is gone from the place he had just completely left switched to an earlier flight and gotten the fuck out of there dude that's like going to going to vegas with with buddies and everyone's like you know gambling within moderation or whatever and there's one guy that like ruins his whole weekend by just spending the whole time on the casino floor yeah can we talk to get up off the floor and sit at one of the tables don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life you know the same way you can skip an ad i get it i'm cia and i live in ice cove i've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way i planned and today i'm still figuring it out somehow

things usually get worse before they get better apparently that's how i roll so bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride stream a new episode of north of north tuesdays on cbc gem one time i was in vegas and my buddies and i went out to like a nightclub and we were there till like three or four a.m i ended up losing them and i was like i'm just gonna go back to the hotel wake up and um text one of my friends i'm like hey where are you and he's like um i just got back to my hotel it's like 8 a.m so i'm like you just got back to your hotel room he's like yeah and uh so anyway i go in there i talk to him and he's like dude i spent like ten thousand dollars last night and i'm like what how did you spend ten thousand dollars he

goes so so we're at the club or whatever this girl's like hey it's my 30th birthday like i'm celebrating you should celebrate with me he's like next thing you know next thing i know we're making out everything she wants to go to a strip club so i'm like okay so we go to the strip club she's like she gets there she starts uh like getting on stage taking her titties out showing them around because like you know it's like 4 a.m 5 a.m by this point like nobody's really there or anything and then she takes me into a room and like uh we start getting like freaky with one of the strippers and he didn't tell us like what they did but he was like it was like five thousand dollars to go in the room and then he was like then after that they didn't tell you what you

know exactly what costs five thousand dollars of course and then he's like she takes me another room another 5k down the drain or whatever once we finish up in that room turn around she's gone okay he's like can't find her completely by myself he's like i just take like an uber back to the hotel i literally just got back like so we're telling our other buddy about it hey he goes wait so she took you to this specific strip club she got on stage pulled her titties out and they just let her and he was like yeah he goes yeah dude she worked for the fucking strip club yeah she conned you yeah what a good move yeah a lot of people a lot of people a lot of strippers stay in the strip club and they and they wait for a big customer to come in other people go out go

out hunting yeah that's some guerrilla marketing dude that's crazy yeah we went out with a ragtag group of of of stoolies because they were there at the same they were there at the same time as us and i think they had learned to or at least the ones i was talking to had learned to maybe drink in moderation a little bit more than i had at that age and uh i remember just being hammered talking to one of the girls that works at barstool and like telling her this story that she just did probably did not want to hear and i woke up the next morning i was like oh my god everyone at everyone that works at barstool but we hate barstool they're our big enemy they're our enemy yeah we hate yeah we're gonna bleep their name you bleep barstool and replace it with poop

stool oh burn i i love that little bit i just did can we tell that's really funny can i tell andrew about the uh about the video that that surfaced the other day i'll tell andrew because they because it's on reddit now too it's so fucking humiliating this is so i didn't think it was bad at all i know it's just it's not even bad it's just like i hate the idea of like this is this is why you don't want to have a platform i don't know how someone found this but there was a video that i guess someone sent to him and now posted on the almost friday tv subreddit and it is a video of me blackout drunk when i was 18 years old at the red socks world series parade and i'm like tweaking talking nonsense like flexing my yeezys and like throwing

shit and it's just some guy like vlogging at the parade and i just walk up and i'm like the manny machado's a little bitch i stole this sign he's like cool and then i'm like these are 300 yeezys and then he's like okay then i just like throw a can and there's like cops there and uh i know it just gave me the most like anxiety like watching video of yourself black out is obviously not what you want to do also when you're 18 i was like oh my god but how do they find it what was that video everything at everything as we continue this journey that we're on i know we got to get used to stuff like you're right that's why i'm like i should talk about it because like i need to accept that like that is going to happen and i was like at least i know

like there's nothing out there that's like going to ruin my life it's just like i don't want to watch these videos like i don't even care that someone else saw it's like i don't want to i don't want to see that i don't want to watch a video of me that was seven years ago and i still find it like humiliating somehow the funniest part though about that video and i'm sure that some people listening now are going to go to the red and watch it and i i it is what it is i own my life but i went to class after that so when you're watching that keep in mind i roamed the streets of boston for about five hours my friends were so tired of like but i had bought i brought a water bottle full of tequila this is one month into my first semester of college red sox won the world series

we're like let's go to the parade i brought a water bottle full of tequila i was like reluctant to drink it was like 10 in the morning and then the duck boats come around the corner because they do all the parades in boston like on duck boats duck boats come around the corner and i see him and i'm like oh fuck that means like the parade's happening so i just chugged the whole thing and literally just instantly black out don't remember anything walked around but i remember like tracking my like steps on my like health app later and i walked just like a bajillion steps all around the city of boston with a sign that says manny machado's little bitch i got interviewed by caleb presley i was like in a barstool thing that ended up getting taken down uh i was like

all walking around all day all day i guess sobered up at some point sobered up i was drinking tequila i guess there must have been some left in the bottle or something i was drinking tequila with a homeless man on a bench in chinatown we were just like sharing a bottle and i like came to and i was like what the fuck is going on all my friends i found out they apparently i was just so out of control they were just like all right you know what we tried to get him home and like he's just gonna have to figure this out like it was the middle of i mean it was like noon on a yeah monday or something so it was like he's not gonna like die like someone will find him and eventually i came to took the subway back to school and got there in time for my four o'clock

class and i went to class with the sign that said manny machado's a little bitch and i remember i sat in the class and was just like i'm just i know i want to say so many things but i was like i'm just gonna not say anything yeah yeah i just remained silent the whole time and that was fun i'm trying to learn that about i think the only the only thing i have anxiety about when i wake up from drinking is like oh i told wait i told way too many stories or whatever like my dad we were at we were i i had a couple big days uh in maine where i was just drinking and and we were my friend luke came and joined us so i was just very excited and i just was on my like fifth story and my dad looked at me across the table and she goes take a breath like just calm i think if you

can just yeah if you can just remind yourself in the moment like none of maybe 10 of these comments that i'm making are interesting i need to filter them a little bit oh yeah i mean there could be way worse problems to have that's a pretty good like oh i got fucked up and told too many stories yeah at least you didn't like um crash a car into a lake yeah my friends my friend's dad uh crashed a golf cart into a lake his loafer got stuck under the pedal which i don't buy i don't buy for a second yeah and uh drove it directly yeah yeah before we get into the roadmap uh i i took a golf class in college and on our last day i like bought a bunch of drinks at the clubhouse and just like sat out in the course and like drank before my like next class and ended up

like plastered uh on the way to class and i was like i'm just not gonna tell anybody right like i'm drunk but like nobody's gonna know i'm gonna get away with this right by the time i got to class i'd already posted on my close friend's story and like every one of my friends in class i went up to them like i went i'm hammered right now i'm so nobody knows and i was like i was also like 22 like way too old to be like way too old for it to be like cool to be drunk in public you know like 18 it's kind of like i remember being cool to go to class drunk yeah like if you did that everyone was like this guy's a maniac yeah yeah maybe like freshman sophomore year but i was like fully senior about to graduate and they're like this is a bad look i uh the the cfo of

starbucks or some high up c-suite guy at starbucks came to talk to one of our business classes and i was hammered i went to the pool before and we got a little excited and uh and i just made a fool of myself in front of it was the one of the only professors that i liked and my buddy my buddy shavis like put my hand on on or put his hand on my leg and was just like just be quiet for the rest of the class because i kept like asking i was trying to like you know get all this once in a lifetime to be able to pick one of those guys brains yeah and i was just asking him really dumb questions just slurring every word all right mando mando mando i love this man do i mando i love this this whole body deodorant

has been a game changer for guys like will and i i had the longest travel day of all time yesterday before i got on the plane i threw a little bit of this on and then i used the i don't know if we have them on us but the wipes the wipes are again yeah sometimes when i'm on a plane pulling out a stick of deodorant is a little embarrassing and you got to do the whole thing this was it was like a magic trick i was like next thing i knew i'm i'm deo'd up next thing i know pilot says get on up here brother you're flying the plane pilot says are there any doctors on board i say no but i have mando wipes would that help him they say no that wouldn't he's having a serious medical problem and dude it's fall i guess but it's still hot as crap i mean 90 degrees today yeah and so you're

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long lasting freshness with mando let's get back into the episode also next episode we have philip phillips from american idol coming on yes wait is that actually real no i was like what's he up to now no we got randy though we were lying i hosted trivia twice last week how was that kind of a grind by the i know it was fun it was fun it was just like once i had tuesday and wednesday nights booked i was like oh this is kind of like a like a it's like i got a second job now we were given that's like when lauren had a rover dog at work yeah all right we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitch followed by our pitches then we'll do this guy rocks then we're gonna do teach me something and then i'm very

excited about this one this is a willie d special college football traditions that don't exist and then ways to say you have to poop i'm gonna be honest i it occurred to me this morning i think we did that already college football tradition no poop no we said this is that was this is ways to say you have to poop we did ways to say you pooped your pants okay okay okay yeah um and then we will wrap up with rusty's song of the day go follow rusty songs of the day on spotify we're not beating the poop allegations no i was dying laughing at when i told the story about touching myself in the philadelphia airport and i like the whole time i was like i was 15 and then i mentioned like a historical event that day and there was someone in the spotify comments like did the math

And you're like, you were 17, almost 18, borderline too old. I was like, fuck, that is too old. That's fucking – I replied on Spotify. I was like, Jesus Christ, I think that is too old. He like had the days too. It was like 17 years. I said it was after Jake Gensel scored four goals in a playoff game, which is like a very – obviously I only have it once.

So funny. I kind of tipped my hand there, unfortunately. Or you handled your tip. all right let's hear a pitch andrew greetings fee fi fo fum fo fum crink greetings i like that this person put lauren will be what's left yes um what are you fee fo fum i'll be fee uh i guess i'm five yeah you'll be what is the worst part of putting your phone on do not disturb hurts uh it honestly stresses me out more because i think i'm gonna miss something important i've never done it so you guys walk around with it on all day yeah that ain't me it ain't me babe

checking your notifications and realizing no one is disturbing that's very good introducing the brand new obscure messages app instead of checking your notifications and seeing nothing you will see random messages from this app such as honey the bees are invading again or if you want to make the messages more normal can you put the chicken out to defrost allowing you to keep yourself on your toes unknowing if you actually need to or not you can even put contacts in and even be even more confused picture this rusty all of a sudden flan is messaging you talking about watching hamilton tonight you are devastated but oh wait it's just the obscure apps i like it i like it that's like uh that's that would give you the

same euphoria as canceling plans i always say i've never done heroin but i would imagine it feels a lot like canceling plans at the last minute so i like it yeah i love it i'm sold on that i would like some of the texts to be like from my favorite baseball players or so to like keep it up champ yeah it just says maybe you could have it like so you could impress people it'll be like a text from like it'll just say the bank and it'll be like you deposited the most money this month of anyone of anyone ever oh speaking of um speaking of huge stacks of cash no this is super unrelated but i wanted to show you guys i've made a few changes in my life also at target yesterday i got toothpicks you're a toothpick guy now which well i found that it

helps me stop biting my nails not because it gives me something to kind of occupy my mouth and i think it makes me look like a little bit of a d-bag but i'm willing to move past that i don't think so no i think that looks cool yeah all right and then i also bought clear nail polish nice and i'm gonna put it on my nails so that it tastes bad when i bite them oh well i don't want to i don't want to rain on your parade but i actually my nail clippers have gotten so rusty yeah i leave them in the shower that i'm worried about getting tetanus they're just normal i bit them in the shower yesterday and i don't they're just jagged now i i i don't know how you do this oh it smells like i'm gonna get am i can i get a high off that yeah dude we'll huff it later come on man i'm gonna

put i'm gonna do my nails while we're doing the next segment all right what is the worst caleb williams what's the worst part about uh what's the worst part about owning the kindle uh which i now act i accidentally have two kindles now i never read and yeah um you'll be happy to know i'm reading i'm reading sorcerer's stone nice i am on chapter 14 nice i'm humming along there you go it shows you how many pages are left you uh read like a chapter or two after a couple cocktails before bed and then when you wake up in the morning you're like i don't remember any of any of what harry and ron and hermione got up there is a there you now have to start your kindle the same way you start a car if you have a dui where you have to blow into that tube to

make sure you're sober and if okay if you're drunk it'll still let you read but it will just reset your progress it doesn't count to where you were in the morning so that you don't have to like i read three chapters of sorcerer's stone after after a night out and i had to go back and read it all again wow yeah i like that a lot thank you is this your first time going through the books yeah dude wow and you know it's crazy i was like this is gonna be boring because i already know everything that happens in this there are like full scenes and like details that just are not in the movies which has been very very fun for me well if you just think about the raw amount of material in it yeah like the books are huge and the movies are also effectively 120 pages or

yeah tops that different people say different lines interesting there's a like okay andrew in sorcerer's stone who when they see sir nicholas who says nearly headless how can you be nearly headless neville no hermione hermione says it in the movies in the books uh seamus uh flanagan well i think what's cool too about it is like there's so much more like world building like you get to learn so much more about like the school and like yes the like minor care yeah there's i also think i did it the right way though because i have a clear vision of what hogwarts looks like true yeah and now i just get to explore it a little bit more i was gonna say do you picture like the actors like daniel radcliffe as harry potter or do you like it's

a good question you definitely subconsciously yes but also some of the things are like ultra are whimsical and so you are picturing like like i know what they look like on the cover of the books and so that kind of slips in but yes you're when it's like hermione i'm totally picturing emily uh emma watson emma watson i think i told you guys this but when my your nails look good really yeah they already look healthy i just start this is the first time but also i would tell you that when you told me it was like at its worst so maybe i just you just support me yeah i was gonna say from this far anyone's nails look good now i'm gonna be popping now i'm doing my nails and shit i don't know if i'm doing this right it's getting everywhere i'm just

kind of dousing them um i think i told you this but my dad when he before the books came out he read yeah he called her hermione so which i totally would have made that exact like he would read it to my brother and sister and me and stuff i mean i was like a baby i don't remember it but that is exactly how i would have pronounced it yeah and then the movies came out and they were like fuck when you read a hunger games did you picture the cornucopia being like the thing from thanksgiving yes a hundred percent why did why did we all picture is that how it was described in the book i mean i think that's just like what we think of when i think of that word also you were reading hunger games at the same time you probably just learned what a cornucopia

was too like you know yeah yeah elementary middle school hunger games is awesome i remember great like i feel like i feel like the pilgrims and thanksgiving was like 60 of what i learned in elementary school i learned what i learned yeah i learned what a stratus cloud was and a and i learned all about the pilgrims yeah and the moon phases do you think they teach the kids now a little bit do you think they give them a little more insight into into old chrissy columbia definitely yeah well it depends where i mean like dude yeah i mean when i was when i was growing up it was like he this is the greatest guy that has ever existed and he's the reason we're all here today yeah when i was in south carolina learning about u.s history it was like there were a lot

of factors for the civil war like it was like it's right what's that yeah literally i had a teacher i remember miss blake god bless her like she was like like she would say stuff and i was like okay she's definitely diverting from the textbook to tell us like yeah the truth and then i remember this kid finn would be like well that's not like actually that's not and it's like fuck and then like the textbook would be more on his yeah it's fucked dude it's all that's kind of like uh we were my dad got a new flag for the back of his boat you know people put like wherever your boats out of so like we would all have like american flags on the back whatever he found this one at the flea market and he was like oh this is cool and it's 13 stars then it has like

an anchor in the middle and flan and i were like i can't exactly say why but for some reason having the one that is only the 13 colonies feels like dicey but then it had like like it has an anchor in the middle so it's clearly like yeah whatever but we were like what if there is like a radical like nautical group that he doesn't know about we're like the nautical racist flag we were called the nautical nazis we were like we pass a group of like skinheads on another boat and they're like uh but then we saw a bunch of other people with it that seemed like nice guys so i i am giving him the benefit i think you're in the clear but what is like doesn't something about that feel a little first the original year is like only at 13 right yes exactly but i'm saying like that to me

feels like yeah this is when it was the best yeah before hawaii the one with 48 i remember how excited my english teacher would get to say the n-word when she was like reading books to us yep and uh they would always do like a thing at the beginning of year being like hey if any of your parents don't feel comfortable with me saying the n-word just let us know like we won't say it but it was kind of more of a to kill a mockingbird's not even on the syllabus she's just like if they're not comfortable with me saying it in the funny boy just whatever i feel like it yeah no but like you you could tell that like it wasn't like a serious thing like it wasn't like she was really expecting a parent to say no but one of my buddies was like yo as a joke

i'm gonna i'm gonna get like my parents email an email on her and be like i'm not comfortable with it so sure enough the next day she comes in and you would think like a family member died she was like so this year a parent complained and i'm no longer allowed to say the n-word yeah and you could see the light just like left her eyes like that was like the only reason she taught english she could say the n-word and she didn't get to say it our year and she was so pissed about it i remember us like if you were reading the passage that had it she would stop you a sentence before be like i'll take it from here and say i'm like oh i don't know what i feel like yeah uh all right pitch me willie all right oh wait well i forget the name of it it was so good no actually so good

it was so good just uh drone brella so all my run on saturday i was fucking it's been fucking hot yeah it's uncharacteristically hot the last few weeks today but it was chilly on the way in anyway i was sweating my balls off and uh just sun beating down i've been getting i've been getting a lot of sun and i was thinking what if i could get a little drone that's an umbrella that hovers right above me and casts a perfect shadow on my body as i'm moving it's not just for running for walking around for anything you go to a you go to a restaurant it's like oh like yesterday i went to juice and guess what all the coffee shops are all the tables that are in the shade are taken all the ones that are beaming sun on you are open

And I'm like, well, if I had a drone umbrella, I could just sit in the Beaming Sun one and drone umbrella myself. We can also take this a step further, Willie. Imagine that I'll paint you a little word picture. You're going out on a hot date. It's raining. You get out of the car. The drone follows you in, stays there. You don't have to bring an umbrella in.

And then on the way out, it perfectly follows you to the Uber. And maybe it could satisfy her, too, if you're unable to. I can't. All right, Andrew. Pause this immediately. And I mean immediately. This might be my favorite This Guy Rocks today. So this cave diver, this is a cave diver who is recording a video for his family.

He's stuck in the cave, and he's giving them a little message. Hey, guys. Papa's in a bit of a pickle here, but I just wanted to say I love you guys. Brayden, you're the man of the house now. Okay, buddy? you gotta make sure everyone gets to school on time and listen to mom make sure they listen to mom you gotta be brave for me i know you can do it buddy ethan you're the elephant man in the house now okay so you're gonna just dress like that and you're gonna see how society treats you and what

that's like because you gotta be brave for me okay lucas you're the juggler of the house now okay so you're gonna start with tennis balls and you're gonna work your way up to knives and guns and you're gonna get a couple cuts okay but you gotta be brave for me you gotta be daddy's brave little juggler okay liam you're the eunuch of the house now so they're gonna remove your testicles all right bud and you're gonna dole out wisdom and prophecy in equal measure this goes on like this for like a couple minutes but be brave this is awesome jacob i thought this was real you're no longer the furry of the house benji you're the furry of the house now so you're gonna dress up in those costumes and you're gonna go to conventions or i'll be honest i don't totally

know what they do i google it okay you're gonna have to google it for me buddy you're gonna have to google it for me okay samantha you're the anton sugar from no country from a man at the house now, okay? So you're gonna dress like that, you're gonna get a coin, you're gonna say things like quote, you're gonna say what's the most you've ever lost in a coin toss? So you gotta say stuff like that all the time, okay?

Kinda constantly. That kinda has to be all you say. Hey, buddy, you okay? I'm trapped down here. I'm trapped down here. I think you can just stand up. Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, I totally can.

Wow, okay. geez wow I got my face a little bit here sorry about that you're the eunuch of you know how to get you have to do a lot

of wisdom and prophecy in equal measure you gotta be daddy's brave little juggler yeah that I like that a lot that's a great sketch

you gotta start with tennis balls and work your way up to knives and guns knives and guns I'm just thinking about a guy being a furry

at a convention being like this was my dad's dude so i watched like anyone else i was like oh my god this is crazy i get to watch like this guy's last moments and then i kind of like didn't it took me like longer than it should have to be like you're gonna have to dress like that and see how society treats you to be honest i don't totally know what they do you have the furries so you're gonna have to google it for me buddy okay that's jeff braun so fucking funny that's awesome somebody was saying online the other day that

they're like this cliff like what is it called cave spelunking or something yeah yeah yeah is like one of the strangest hobbies because there's like nothing like inherently like masculine or like sexual they're like like you know sexy about it no one's gonna be like oh my god he's the best spelunker yeah yeah it's just like they're doing it for the love of the game oh god this is brew cycle anybody want to slice the fresh homemade rhubarb pie you're going to have a great day today let's go enjoy the day let's go right here i want to slice a rhubarb pie come on it's rhubarb pie right all right you're so bad you're so back will it dude this guy turned my day around yesterday i

I woke up covered in mold and bugs, actually. No. How long did I sleep? I woke up, I had cobwebs in my armpits. All right, should we do Teach Me Something? Yeah. You're going to love this one, really. Hit me.

I hope you don't already know this. Did you know many, many, many of the landscapes and opening shots in Star Wars scenes were hand-painted? Really? so like when they when you ever wonder like oh my god all those droids are really like still when they're like setting the scene like now we're in the death star yeah hand painted isn't that very cool yeah and i'll know like all the props in like the og one were like all miniatures yeah or all the like space scenes and stuff there's a documentary about it you can watch

it's so cool fascinating and i'll take it one step further you know how like the first harry potter cover and like some of the like return or return of the jedi and like they all that distinct like really cool yeah it draws you in there was one guy who was apparently like the goat of like hand drawing uh he did like jumanji or whatever it was all with colored pencils and they're like photo accurate wow and that's why they all look kind of similar it's all the same fella one guy who was like the goat like that guy and john williams were like the two guys that got tapped yeah if we can get these two guys john williams i don't know i don't think so oh all right will teach me something did you know uh this this is this is deep in my bag uh but there's this document

okay so in chile in 1973 right so chile in the uh late 60s elected their first ever democratically elected uh president this guy salvador allende and then he got overthrown by this like far right coup in 1973 and they were filming there's this guy patricio guzman who's a documentary filmmaker and he was making a documentary about like political tensions in chile and there's this really cool documentary called la batalla de chile where he kind of documents this whole like basically knowing that a coup was going to come but it was like the military was in on it so it's like all the he interviews all these like uh lay people that voted for this you know popularly elected socialist leader and they're all like yeah like we know they're going to overthrow him

but like we literally can't do anything we don't have any guns and stuff like the military has everything like how are we going to stop the fucking military and then sure enough it happens but the whole documentary the whole story i mean it's it's insane and then and the cia was backing it and all the shit but the backing the bad guys backing yeah the pinochet which was who was like a this military leader that always meddling we're always well because they were trying to nationalize their telecommunications and itt which is an american company controlled all the telecommunications in chile so they're making a fuck ton of money off of that so they're like if they nationalize all their communications then so itt paid the cia like six million dollars to like

help orchestrate a coup whoa and they did it and it worked and there's a scene in that movie that actually we should watch it's kind of a crazy scene but they got one of the guys filming this documentary gets shot and just falls to the ground and they got the camera and recovered the footage and put it in the documentary and the documentary didn't come out for like 10 or 15 years later because guzman had to flee because he was an enemy of the state at once the coup was successful and they took it they got all the footage and they he went to cuba and then like 10 20 years later when it was like safe released all the footage and stuff but it's insane but yeah also the president allende when when la moneda which is like the chilean like cap like white house was getting

like sieged he went on like national radio and was like it has been an honor being your president like don't keep fighting for the values like you voted for like know that this is not the will of the people like these are all this shit and then the radio goes silent and boom they killed him yeah is that insane but look up the look up like how do we get away with stuff look up like cameraman shot uh batalla de chile battle of chile probably it'll come up with you andrew i was right there with you i was like uh how am i boy in the night it's just you and me boy two soldiers bonded for life 58 miles no one's coming for us when anyone else would quit

they'll do the impossible I got you and get home Heart of the Beast is an uplifting triumph you're the greatest dog ever bread I'll get you home

Heart of the Beast now playing wait they're firing directly at him yeah aren't they all oh there he got hit bro

that's crazy yeah it's not insane All right, Willie, do you want to do college football traditions that don't exist first or second? Yeah, let's do college football traditions. I really hope. Willie texted me. Sometimes when we're pitching each other on what draft we want to do,

we'll send a dumb example, but Willie's example made me laugh really hard. Yeah, you want to tee it up, and I'll start with my example. These are college football traditions that don't exist. At UNC Wilmington, they all run out of the tunnel backwards until they hit something. At BC, all the freshmen have to dress like field mice for the first home game and then they release a bald eagle

that hasn't eaten in a week. Yes, that's right. At Oregon State, they all sack tap the coach as they run out of the tunnel. He just sort of stands there and takes it from every player on the team. They've gone through a new coach every year for the last 15 years.

Cal Berkeley, every coin toss, they guessed that it's going to land perfectly on its spine. At Central Michigan, the fans all throw an unopened beer at the opposing kicker every time he goes out for a big kick. Dartmouth only fields one player to return the opening kickoff of the season, and the more injured he gets, the better they'll play that season. That's right. You know, at UCF, they do a thing where all the players before the game,

they walk from the facility to the stadium completely naked totally intimidates the other just cleats yeah just cleats just cleats and helmets um protect their identity if they have a tiny dong ucf starting quarterback sleeps friday nights perfectly balanced on the goal post in nothing but stocks uh at washington state the coach doesn't get to meet any of the players on his team until the day of their first game it's chaos but it's adrenaline fueled and it's fun texas tech's o-line doesn't block on the opening uh snap of every season to and they tell the other team to uh blitz everyone to teach the quarterback about teamwork wow all right these wait you say fsu i said texas tech oh shit i wanted to talk about fsu fuck tommy castellanos

though yes yeah yeah no do fuck tommy you know he like balled out and beat alabama i was like god damn it and he went on this whole press tour shitting on bc he's like they never supported me at bc they never it's like bro you went seven and six and lost to niu and we gave you the reins of the program and then you quit on us yeah yeah these are ways to say you've got a poop the chocolate factory is open and i've got the golden ticket i'm a squeeze away from shitting lord the weatherman said there's a mudslide warning i'm bracing for impact i'm gonna contaminate the white lake this turd needs to fly south for the winter i have to fertilize the porcelain fields requesting backup the man in brown is near my water broke all those you always have one that's

like the man in yeah yeah i was about to say that too yeah um all right we're gonna wrap up with rusty's songs of the song of the day go follow rusty's songs of the day on spotify um today we are gonna do my sweet lord by george harrison what's interesting is his a lot of people say he's the best solo career out of the beatles because a lot of his uh songs didn't make uh didn't fit on any of their albums so he just had this catalog of like beatles level music that didn't make make its way onto a beatles song uh so yeah go listen to that i gotta this isn't a this isn't a song of the day i'm not trying to come for your thunder right but i recently discovered actually scott discovered it and sent it to me waxahatchee who's like one of my favorite

singers did a cover of the fray you found me with her boyfriend kevin morby and it is fantastic i've gonna listen to it's like crack austin insecure i always thought wax actually was a band well it's it's katie crutchfield's band oh nice it is also in right by dallas yeah but she's i think from alabama so i don't really know actually before we leave we'll be posting about this on our social media oh yes but we are uh we are run we're in the contention for champ best buddies champion of the year uh in maine so best buddies is this awesome organization i'm sure some of you are familiar but they uh pair adults with intellectual disabilities with uh usually like college kids or young people that become friends and hang out with them and uh just help them live awesome fun

cool lives uh they've been a huge part of my uncle kevin's life in maine they've they've been huge for him as well as jack's friend peter yep um they who actually they know each other through the program in maine and so we are working with best buddies they they do a big fundraising thing every year um in the fall and it ends i think at the end of october so we have a couple months and we need to raise uh some money i'm not sure the exact amount i know i know the exact but we should say we should get more than that oh you know the exact amount you want you said yeah i want to raised i think that last year someone won with uh don't quote me on this i think it was like 40 000 oh my god i don't think we can do oh we're gonna blow that out of the water

40 000 i think it was somewhere around there whatever let's raise a million all right we're gonna raise a million so we're trying to raise a million anyway we'll link it uh in the in the description we're also gonna come up with like a raffle maybe that you guys can enter by donating but i think anything that you guys can do to to support it would be great i think we'll we'll we'll we'll figure something out yeah we actually i didn't even tell you this but we have a meeting in like an hour with rebecca from both buddies but um who her i believe her daughter won last year we're coming for you coming for you coming for you you're ours this year it's we own the finish line oh yeah uh but yeah we'll link in the description and we'll be posting about it on

our socials um but yeah i think we're gonna do something where it's like like what you're just saying where it's like a merch package and it's like if you donate five ten bucks you're entered for a chance to win kind of thing to get everyone but we would love for you guys to help it's a really really really great organization that's meant a lot to our families so love you love you we'll see you on wednesday monday monday fuck i did your thing We'll be right back. We see the endless funds fueling the AI hype. While others follow the noise, we follow the money.

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