Will & Rusty's Playdate - professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Episode Date: February 19, 2025This week, Will and Rusty argue about the moon landing and whether or not eating too many carrots will turn you orange. They also get into March of the Penguins’ legacy, shape-shifting, and how ten-...slide PowerPoints got you anything you wanted as a kid. Plus, the boys draft their best excuses for being late, ways to say you have to fart, and reasons for breaking off a relationship. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod BUY OUR BUILDING DEPARTMENT SHIRT: https://almostfriday.shop/collections/playdate-pod/products/building-dept-longsleeve HEAD TO http://www.drinktriple.com/playdate TO GET 10% OFF THE ORIGINAL HIGH SELTZER USING CODE: PLAYDATE. 0% HANGOVER, 100% SOCIAL. 🚨SALE🚨 ACCELERATOR ROCKET POP AVAILABLE ON AMAZON FOR $19.87 FROM 2/19 – 2/25 https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/FB06B38E-F0C2-479F-9DA5-FD4A1C852B07?channel=Playdate SHOP SKIMS MENS AT https://skims.com/playdate AND SKIMS STORES. PICK UP SOUTHERN COMFORT WHISKEY FOR YOUR NEXT PREGAME OR WATCH PARTY. SOCO IS EASY GOING AND DOWNRIGHT DELICIOUS. https://www.southerncomfort.com/ 00:00 Intro 03:29 Driving a Cop Car 09:05 Pets 13:08 Club Penguin 20:35 Tucking Bird 26:58 The Bread Box 34:35 Caves & Whales 52:42 Roadmap 54:07 Pitch Submissions 01:05:27 Pitches 01:11:55 Teach Me Something 01:24:22 This Guy Rocks 01:28:27 Prank Call 01:33:50 Drafts 01:38:09 Whose Personality are you Stealing? #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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play date bow new thing i do at the beginning of the episode 81 81 phil kessel good one let's go
that was awesome i love that and i'm gonna let that slide is that actually do you not normally
let it slide yeah well usually i try to guess one too but i think that's that's enough you got a
penguin i like how they list how many times he's worn it like numbers 81 81 81 81 it's like they
do one for every game um do you see google's like taking all the observances off the calendar yeah
they were like we don't have enough like like storage for it or something what do you mean
like holidays like they just like like black history month jewish history month all the things
what about like labor day yeah i don't know where they draw the line because it this morning it's
it also has it also has birthdays of people that i've never written down their birthdays somehow
do you notice that like people you know yeah i think why would i it's when you text happy
birthday it goes into google yeah that's insanity i think sometimes i think you can choose whether
you want it to add or not which i always do because i've become wait but that's apple apple
yeah yeah that's what i'm saying it'll be like it's like like today is riley doll's birthday
i she was a good friend so obviously i've written it down at some point but i never like put it into
google birthday on valentine's day is kind of brutal yeah i was lauren and i were talking about
i was like god scrolling through instagrams making me want to fucking lose it huh and she
was like no i love it for the record we're recording this on valentine's day yeah wait
why does it make you want to lose it well it's just like because he wants what they have i want
what they have that's so interesting i feel like when i before i had a girlfriend i never saw like
another relationship and was like envious no well that's what i'm saying though it's not like i'm
like envious of the relationships it's like you look at enough and i'm like that would be nice
to have too right right ah stay stay single as long as you can ah the golden handcuffs
yeah um no i like my girlfriend yeah no i just i just it's not yeah it's not like i'm like god i
want like i want that yeah that would be nice let's let's role play i'm your girlfriend
you it's valentine's day what are the things that you would want to say to me what are the
things that you would want me to say to you what would what would we do baby when your eyes
look into mine i see a hundred angels flocking into my heart one at a time
beating to the pound of my drums and echoing through the halls of my love
i think we should see other people
yeah and then i would get her a car i'll get her a tesla dude getting a girl getting a girl
a car would be the coolest thing in the world one day one day everyone like and subscribe
um yeah if anyone wants to send me a car you have a car we're having a new car i've never
seen anyone else with your car i was talking i was talking with rick about this the other day
okay he thinks it's a one of one or maybe ed i was talking with someone and i was like lauren has
like it's like it's like traffic like in a video game hasn't fully rendered yet so it just sounds
like a generic car what'd you say my 2010 ford taurus yeah like that's not a thing it was like
old cop car or not my specific one but like the the brand or whatever wait did you ever see that
video of like it was cheap there's a guy it was in like so i'm not rich it was a guy like we all
make the same amount that's not true that is so not true it's not true don't get don't get into
that i am such a wealthy man all right will what were you gonna say there's a video you know i have
less than 200 my checking account right now so i'm not a rich man yeah but that's not that's
that is not yeah i guess you can't you can't claim poverty just because you spend it all
or because you don't you have others you have it in savings yeah that's true yeah i have to have
a checking account is not representative of your net worth it's like that would be like like how
much do i have in my venmo yeah exactly i i'm so irresponsible with my finances that i have to have
a middleman wait well what were you gonna say um about uh my car we were talking he was talking
about my video you said have you ever seen that video there's like a it was like a guy in italy
and he's like what the hell and it was like city of houston police department like driving down
it was like i guess you can buy u.s police cars at auction and they're legal to drive in europe
because they don't look like the police cars there can you look google u.s police car in europe i
like to think that like a an investigation he was doing in houston oh sacramento that's what it was
a sacramento investigation got like way out of hand yeah yeah well that's what they had to like
take it to italy it'd be a good movie
wait so that's just someone's random car yeah that's just someone's car a random car
um i think it was in poland it's i believe it's illegal to drive a cop car here it is now you
have to like there's like very specific modifications i've seen guys like that like
you know like the kind of guys on the internet that just are like suck kind of and they're just
like trying to like piss people off so these guys like got a cop car and like technically made all
the specs like right but it still so looks like hop car and had lights and noises somehow like
the average guy like like weaseled their way and then they drove to the police station and they
were like look at this and the cops yeah i'm really glad we didn't i don't know what has to
happen to you as a child were you like one of my best friends is kind of one of those people
where he's like cancel me if you want like this is what i believe like dude no one can you're
only saying that because i don't know no i agree like what has to happen to you where you're like
i i'm waking up and i'm like i want someone to be like very upset with me i want that smoke i
don't know i think it's just a want and want to be like should draw attention and yeah it's really
i guess this is these are two guys that are filming themselves well yeah i think we have
the same need we just maybe are like lucky to be very like social and stuff and so we can get it
through social interactions but i think people maybe who struggle socially right would then
go down the path of other ways to get attention which is like yeah lashing out or drop i mean
it really is like i feel like i do kind of fundamentally believe in like we all kind of
we all want the same we're all shaped by just like are you think it's well some of it's like
how you are like what your disposition is as a person but i feel like when you when you put it
this way when you go back far enough on like anyone it's really hard to like really hate a
person or like find fault because 99 of the time obviously there's exceptions like horrible people
but like they were like they had this yeah i don't know lauren um i started daydreaming oh
cool what were you thinking about i was thinking about how oh wait did i tell you that one of my
friends from college is coming to my wig party tomorrow no who meg nice yeah lauren's having a
big wig party tomorrow we're all very excited about a family guy get family guy
just saying the name doesn't you have to get i didn't know what else that's what i was daydreaming
about i was like i want to prank them but i couldn't oh my god you know my friend my friend
meg's coming to my coming to my um wig party oh nice get family guide what okay oh man we have to
you should have said like i know i didn't know i've never seen her without a beanie on well yeah
the pressure she's the dog um what else what else what oh my god uh i was thinking about
i've been thinking a lot about my old dogs because one of my dogs passed away the other day
she did oh i didn't tell you that yeah callie went to callie went to the big field in the sky
legend i'm so sorry we'll put a picture of callie right here um but i was thinking about just like
funny there it's so funny just having like a creature that like lives in your house
spider in my shower this morning it's kind of the same thing right where it's like we just but like
that one's not okay yeah you know what i mean like we willingly bring this thing
into our house like from nature and like i think if you tried to explain that to someone who like
if there was a world where pets didn't exist and you explained the concept of it to them it would
be very bizarre like you get used to coming home and there's like this little like creature that
just like bops around your house but i remember we were watching march of the penguins one time
the most boring movie in the world and like a documentary it's so sad though yeah it was just
like it was excruciating for as like an eight-year-old just truly like yeah really boring
because i thought it was gonna be happy feet it was like i think they came out around the same
time yeah and i thought it was gonna be a similar vibe and it just wasn't and uh my dog addy was at
the foot of the bed and like just let this fart go like i had never heard her fart and she farted
and we were all like oh no like if she like if this is her first fart in 10 years like that's
like 10 years of gas in one thing yeah and it just cleared out my parents bedroom and we all
had to like take five but it was like oh nauseating no dog yeah dog farts are bad wait i have a
question why was that like a that was like a big movie like everyone's seen march of the penguins
just like the penguin documentary i think it was just like like i couldn't think of a documentary
that everyone's seen but that in yeah that's interesting well maybe that's not true it was
probably the first well i don't know this is my guess it was the first thing to come out about
penguins i don't know if that's true it was the first thing to come out about penguin movie
yeah wow a whole i mean maybe yeah one hour and 25 just about penguins like i remember
that yeah it was like the mom these are all animated like penguins were hot for a little
there yeah penguins of madagascar surfs up happy feet surfs mr poppers penguins
march of the penguins when i was a kid happy feet too and surfs up came out mcdonald's
batman returns was putting listing movies when i was a kid and i remember when surf's up came out
the happy meal toys were the characters yeah and i just like desperately wanted one we were like not
a mcdonald's house like my mom just i don't think i had mcdonald's for like a while and uh my dad
and i were alone and i was just like this is my shot and i just like pleaded with him like i won't
i won't even eat the happy meal like i just want the toy thinking he was gonna he was gonna be like
no but like looking he was immediately just like oh yeah cool yeah we can just we can do that and
like you it's funny like now that we're kind of adults yeah being able to be like oh that was
probably so funny for him that like this was like the end like i thought this was gonna be the end
you had to make like a big pitch yeah please please or like asking for like a pro membership
on club penguin it was like 25 bucks we had like a full sit down negotiation of like you know what
what they were gonna get out of it yeah it did like did like probably like hundreds of dollars
worth of like manual labor i remember making like a 10 slide powerpoint on why we should get an apple
tv yep and my parents were like oh yeah yeah yeah you didn't have to you're like 19 yeah i mean
that's funny you just brought up club penguin because one of our pit one of our playmate
pitches is club penguin theme today really just bring i used to run that shit dude same
because i i remember i like inherited my brother's account yeah so i had like he the big igloo like
the whole nine well it was more like they kind of like more and more started putting like paywalls
in and stuff yeah and so early on you could get like cool like shirts and stuff for like free
but like we never put money into it so i would have like shirts oh that they would be like oh
shit i mean maybe no one no i know but like i had stuff that there was no way i any they were like
from events that like they would do like events that you could like get right shirts at and later
that you had to buy them all but like i had these old ones that we got for free there was like i
had an 06 ice jam shirt right and that was like that would yeah like other people have to like
thrift those now yeah exactly they can't even get what um and what was like your what did your guy
look like oh peng he was blue penguin his name was oc navy or the navy or the light one the navy
one yeah i don't know his name was his name was just oc humaniora who was a defensive lineman for
the giants and um i remember mine was like or maybe i'm maybe i'm thinking of someone else's
i just remember someone's being like emo like it had like swoopy like hair over the eyes and it was
like how did you get that did you remember like the like there was a game where you had to like
solve clues i love that one i was big into cart racing where you would like tilt and grind the
mine yeah that was sick yeah i really didn't like this tubing one yeah the pizza one stressed me the
fuck out i like fishing when you get the big fish yeah and you remember like the place you go and
play the arcade games there's a thin ice one i really like that one sam barrett was just telling
me yesterday it's so funny when like one thing gets brought up you're like oh i was talking
about the yes like what were the odds of sam and i were talking about club penguin yesterday
and he was talking about how he got banned from club penguin we got i got banned for like chatting
people we would like get we would do the thing where like get a girlfriend yeah and then break
up with them but be like really mean like we'd be like do you want to be my girlfriend the whole
time knowing we were gonna break their heart and then yeah and then we'd like go to a new place
together and i'd be like i fucking hate you and get banned and dude i would post up at the beach
like where you do that surf game and i remember pretending i would like go to try try to find
like surf hotties that was like i'd love to i would i was kind of i kind of had a post up at
the beach fetish actually yeah i remember getting carried away with that as well weird wait posting
up on the beach like dude looking like hot like how did you know how did you know which penguins
yeah i don't know i just was like looking at all the show and pouch flash and pouch yeah
oh my god wait where was i want to do this now this is this is some of the best times of my
entire life this was the beach what was dude they fucking nailed it with this game this they hit the
nail on the fucking head with this thing i want to see like a crazy can you put spy game club
penguin spy game what was that one yeah yeah yeah yeah you have to talk to the doctor oh
whoa this is like really bringing me back not that i don't know what that is that there was
one where you had to like there's like something with this dude yes yeah crab translator 3000 yes
yeah yeah it was like there was like some crime that you had to like solve to save the island
so fun oh i think my penguin's name was culver bear what i don't know culver city um stand up
we got to talk about uh lila nelson oh yeah i don't we prank called their parents last week
oh yeah yeah and said we had to take the roof down a little bit and and her dad called me back
after and was like hi i got it i'll play the voicemail it's actually really funny yeah i
didn't listen to those because i wanted you well i didn't i am not going to show her video i don't
think but the the dad called me back i think i like kind of convinced him he's from minnesota
minnesota minnesota
uh hey i received a message from this number today about a garage uh you feel free to call me back
yeah but uh she she sent a video of her telling them that it was because of this
and uh lauren's like snapchatting over there no i'm not i literally just watch you like take
selfies no the girl that one of the pitches i'm gonna read today she just sent a picture
and was like oh my gosh yay i'm reading i'm wearing the merch continue um yeah she just
told them and her dad immediately went on the offense and was like we should prank them back
yeah he was like let me call them what no that's so funny nobody fucks but yeah big fan of lila
nelson thank you for uh for sending us those videos it was very funny are you guys gonna do
one today do one i don't really want to you today you don't ever do well well we had to do two will
and i have this new thing we're doing called cold cases where he gives me a mystery and us and our
friend case and uh try and solve it over 12 beers and i've done it twice this week so it's actually
insane i don't know how you're like alive that's a lot i got home late last night not late last
i got home last night and ordered a spicy chicken sandwich and i'm just paying the pied piper right
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landscape let's get back into the episode i had all these i have all my friends visiting
it's just like three of them and scott at my house and they all had cooked a dinner and so
after our thing how are they all sleeping in your house uh two on the couch and we have an air
mattress oh nice it's our house is like a fucking staging zone from like a crisis right now but
i got home and they had just like finished dinner and they had like everything out on the table
it was like i felt like a dad coming home to like it was nice you know what i mean yeah we had like
chicken parm did you make it they breaded it i didn't make it though i bet it was so much worse
though why would you make it worse on purpose they're the guy it's honestly by that you could
just eat out every meal no mine was better than ospies i think i haven't i went to ospie last
weekend i haven't had their chicken parm it's vodka sauce parm oh my dang but then we played
wingspan and for any of my spaniards out there they'll know i broke i broke the triple digits
100 points last night first guy since i've gotten the game of any game i played do you think you
have like pro level understanding of it no because it hasn't been out long enough like are you it's
been out for like five or six years uh or like what do you not understand about it that i think
i understand the whole game i just don't i have there's things i haven't tried there's a lot of
different ways to play the game like risky yeah like there's stuff that like i've never i don't
think i tuck birds enough i think tucking birds can be sort of goaded because there's no cap on
it tuck tuck bird sounds like a euphemism for something i know like yeah like put like closing
your fly yeah tuck your bird man uh i think i need to explore my wetlands more and focus on
tucking birds oh i do not want to hear about you exploring your wetlands oh when was the last time
you explored your wetlands it hasn't i've never really done it i've always focused sort of
on eggs
and food.
I thought of you exploring
your wetlands. Do you want to explore my wetlands?
Not at all.
I've never
I've honestly never wanted to explore anything
less. Alright. Lauren, when was the last time
you explored your wetlands?
Never. I was telling
Lauren, I ate, while we were playing
Wingspan, I ate an entire
bag of baby
carrots.
you have like 30 20 vision i know well i was joking about it yeah i thought he was gonna say
like a whole thing of fruit snacks or like a million like see-through walls now but it was
no well this is the reason i bring it up is that what your hat is so orange yeah this hat was white
yet yesterday no my friend leah told me that apparently she was like oh if you too eat too
many carrots your nose will turn orange i was like ah yeah she's like no i'm serious it's happened to
me can you google this i actually haven't fact it's not true that's like a thing that like
she said she said it over the announcements in elementary school so it has to be true
wait oh what that is crazy keratinosis
keratinosis oh this baby's crazy looking sorry what i like him but it's so funny
the thing that changes your nose to the color of a carrot is called keratinosis
yeah i think what was the other one it was like if you like jerk off too much or go blind
like if you eat like if you eat a pumpkin seed if you eat a watermelon seed it'll grow on your
stomach yeah that one sounds like one of those i guess like who would be i would be trying to
prevent you from eating more carrots i know i i feel like i'm calling bullshit because it would
have happened big fruit but it looked like it was maybe mostly baby mostly i don't think that
that's enough carrots i ate a whole bag of baby carrots how big of a bag yeah it's like i didn't
i feel like half a bag could be a serving yeah you had two servings of carrots you doubled up
one day i don't think you probably have a bag i don't know if you want to go ham that would be
like i probably had 50 to 100 carrots it's a huge range 50 to 100 that's like how many
that's the difference baby carrots are in a bag of baby all right we do we don't we don't need
to know that i want to know 13 okay that's definitely not it was definitely not 13 carrots
we'll add 26 carrots and he's fucking losing his one no it was that's like a normal amount
that's not the packaging i had it'd be crazier if you had a whole bag of big carrots well i don't
know if they make those in bags you know it'd be crazier if you did something if you did the
bigger ones no i had a crazy amount of carrots fuck you guys do you guys like carrot cake
love carrot it's my favorite cake oh my god can you get a carrot cake for your wig party
oh yeah no yeah we should think about snacks carrot cake just get a ginormous carrot cake i
want a different kind of cake you don't like carrot cake it's all my favorite do you like
pineapple on your pizza lauren i'll eat it but i don't i will see i like it and uh we're making
pizzas tonight for valentine's day oh you and shardy yeah and i was like i was like you know
we should do three mini ones yeah you know because she was oh she was like no pineapple on pizza and
was like okay cool what do you want and she goes uh pepperoni mushrooms and green olives
green olives black olives not green that's what i'm saying green all black olives on pizza all
tolerate so good she's she was like i was like it feels like feels like you're kind of throwing
stones from a glass house right now if you if you don't if you think my topping is crazy but you
say one that no one's ever done i've never seen green olives on pizza it's not it's not a thing
she was like no we did it all the time growing up and i was like yeah you are out of black olives
black olives on pizza so good i used to sneak black olives out of the when it was taco night
i would like come up and be like wait same yeah same oh out of the thing but in hindsight what
the fuck were we doing with the black olives on taco yeah oh that's a good point no but i have
memories of doing that it was on taco night too i'd grab a little thing of cheese and a little
thing of black olives and like scurry into the counter yeah i think i think we had those on
tacos hide in the i could fit in the bread box until i was like 16 look at google like counter
counter bread box it was like built into the cabinets you like slide it up
yes it's like it like slides up like that i've never seen that in my life no no no it like slid
it was honestly for anyone listening about the size of a microwave we need to call
we need to it was it was literally that size we need to i'm gonna i i i will get an expert on the
phone i believe you you could fit into this clearly it wasn't that size no it was literally
that size it wasn't that one it was the first one until you were 16 until you were 16 you fit in
a microwave essentially dude what are you saying
i actually have tears running your call has been forwarded you just texted you guys have to do the
spin the wheel thing again no i told him come on come on jack or rusty i said to will that if
people show up to my wig party without a wig you're not allowed in no i'm gonna give him like
a mustache and give them like the gnarliest shot ever wait say it again oh yeah i like this idea
if they show up because ava ava was considering coming without a wig she's like i don't have a
wig i'm like go buy one yeah what i was like i'm gonna throw you off the balcony if you show up
without a wig but i'm not gonna do that because instead i'm gonna make them wear a mustache and
give them like a shot of my work right by the door i have like a thing of fake mustaches and
there should be there should be like two tape two side tables and it's like are you wearing a wig
if yes have a piece of candy yeah if not put on this mustache and take a shot of malort or
turn around malort or turn around do you have malort no but i don't know you love that shit
you're chicago grown up in chicago wait it should be something funnier like what's something like
horrible punishment bitch cup you have to uh no everyone that comes in with a wig adds to the
bitch cup and the first person to not have one i just think don't if you don't have a way if you
if you want to come to the wig party wear a wig yeah exactly yeah i think i hate when people are
jefferson i hate when people are like too cool for school yeah or that makes me so like mikey
gulcher in high school dude he never dressed up for spirit week yeah that that it just grinds my
gears it's so dumb we're like themed parties everyone's wearing their cool outfit and they're
just in like a sweatshirt i'm like we look so stupid like when when it's halloween and someone's
like fucking stupid boyfriend is like like thinks it's cool to like kind of mail it in yeah it's
like nope yeah nope you're boring sometimes i mail it on halloween i hate halloween
that's my least favorite holiday i think same i always want to be someone that tries harder
and plans ahead like mia loves halloween yeah i just don't care i don't even i don't think it's
like you don't even need to try super hard i just feel like the same people that you cannot can't
count on to wear a wig would be the same people you can't count on to do like basic stuff you
know what i mean like i don't if you're if you're gonna have has it there like you're probably not
gonna come to something if i'm like counting on you you know what i mean okay yeah like i think
that's frustrating when they're they're i've like really good friends where i'm like if i was in a
bind like i don't think i could i don't think that guy would be of any help yeah like jerry
oh here we go yep hey when how old do you think i was when i could stop fitting in the bread box
wait what'd you say how old do you think i was when i could stop when i could no longer fit in
the bread box oh my god probably like 12 like too old okay i said 16 but 12 that's way different
How big was the bread box
It was an impressive feat
21 questions asked
It was an impressive feat that you were getting in there
It wasn't that impressive in size
I mean it was probably like
A foot wide and like
A foot tall
That makes
I swear to god it was like
It was like insane
It was a one by one
Alright thank you Casey
How would that possibly
do you want to get lunch with me and mom if we come to you what time whatever we don't really
have plans we're on a hike right now okay let me look one second let me look at my calendar
can i come to lunch yeah you want to come to learn no i have to i'm too busy today
i can't either i could do i could do lunch at uh two o'clock
one o'clock all right we'll talk later i'm on the podcast
dude that makes no sense no that's like my that's my no not that was my no nonsense sister
too that's admitting it was one by one one foot by one foot do you realize how big that is
it's yeah you fit in i swear they call me that couldn't even fit a loaf of bread
bread is more than one foot long you guys must have been taught like different measurements
we grew up in america i don't know this is like a foot bread is longer than that
no it's not that's not a foot that's like 11 inches give me another inch yeah i could fit in
there this is this is like so insane you fit i swear i swear to god i could i could fit in the
bread box until i was 12 you fit in that box i did a one by one you slid it open it was like
dude they could my fam people my family called me houdini because i couldn't you couldn't even fit
one of your legs in there wait that on my mother you couldn't even fit one of your legs it wasn't
that exact one but on it was built into the cabinet and and you would slide up a door on the
side and i yeah kind of like that i just you just heard it from my sister until i was 12 years old
i could fit in the bed box all right can you get a picture of it do you still live in the house we
don't live in that house anymore but i might know the people that do we can look at it if i can get
a picture of it i'll put the picture right here yeah please it might be on earth you know what
let's go on zillow go and go look up uh okay we're like that's like a very main yeah that's
the bread box that's the bread box where in the corner in the corner no it's right there yeah
you'd slide that door up i could fit in the i could fit in that bread box until i was 12
that's the exact bread box that's crazy that yeah i mean there's no well that's like a little
a little bit bigger for sure that's not a foot okay it's six that's scary why do you want to
get in there it also looks like it like kind of fans out it's like a trapezoid yeah yeah look how
much room you have yeah there to there that's like three feet right there yeah damn i haven't
seen the inside of this house in forever but you're impressed right yeah yeah i fit in the
bread box until it's 12 i am impressed however if it was a one one foot by one foot square or cube
but would have been really impressed yeah that reminds me i don't understand how people
that are like cave divers and they squeeze through these tiny that freaks me out so much
i don't want to sound insensitive i think if you do that and you get stuck
that's like i don't feel i don't feel bad for those people yeah except when we waste like it
was like kids what like the highest profile one that when it was like a youth soccer team
no that was like that happened on accident i thought they fell into like a mine shaft what
was that like the peruvian kids or whatever they were in like thailand and they i'm thinking i
watch this documentary i think lauren's talking about like people like cave diving oh yeah and
like spelunking i mean either or or just these kids were like in a cave and like rainstorms
came and it filled up and they got cut off oh and they were in there for like days and days
they survived and they survived again oh my god i watched this documentary i was insane did you
ever see that kid that like fell down a well and they firefighters couldn't get down there and so
they like this like hero neighborhood kid was like i'll go down and they strapped him to him
and they lowered him in there and he got because everyone else you could fit in there yeah hero
pull this up like kid saves baby from well i could be a hero baby yeah oh dude i think i have crazy
they send him down 14 year old boy how the hell like how did that even happen uh wait i don't
know that baby was thirsty but the well's 30 centimeters diameter prevented them from going
inside. Excavation
began to remove soil around the well,
aiming... At that
moment, 14-year-old Christian
Marion Beccanue of Segarcia volunteered
to risk his life and go down
the well. Firefighters
attached a flashlight to his forehead and
lowered him into the net.
Despite his fear, Christian
followed the instructions he received.
Christian successfully grabbed the
child's hands and lifted him to safety.
What? How? I have so many
questions. How did he get down there?
how'd the baby get why was the baby down there walked in thirsty felt thirsty baby
just that kayaker get swallowed by a whale the other day this kayaker you got all sorts of
tidbits i guess yeah the dude i'm getting really into instagram reels there's some crazy stuff on
there like you'll like i learned a new thing every day but this guy this people these people
are kayaking apparently this happens like kind of often this this whale just breaches swallows
him whole goes under his friend is like what spits him out spits it out because they don't eat people
or anything besides like krill and so it's like spits him out they call me and he the guy is just
like cannot believe what happened that uh that would be really fun i don't think so there was a
scary we were talking to a guy um that claimed that that happened to him judas in boston he was
saying he got swallowed by a whale and he was in there for like 45 seconds he's just said it got
punching the roof of the mouth what absolutely no way no no no uh way to prove it but like he's by
himself he was at a bar and he was just we were like he was out of what yeah yeah when the incident
it happen he's completely he was at a bar just hanging out with his friends you heard this story
personally from someone he he told like me and another guy like either liam might have been there
as well but we were at a bar in boston and he was like you know i got swallowed by a whale and we
were like okay i will hear this one i'll listen and he was like yeah i just kept punching the
roof of its mouth and it's put me out they say enough socks at the roof yeah there's no punches
that the roof of the mouth will open anything all right lauren come up with a saying that
doesn't exist right now oh no i can't can't clear your history in real life
yep oh when you guys were when you guys were kids i did you have memories of like were you
allowed to go on email and stuff in middle school or like have was i allowed to go on email like
were you allowed to have an email because i have memories in third grade having an email and then
hear my mom pulling the driveway and i would quickly like x out and log out and clear my
history who are you emailing no we would email each other like my friends it was nothing bad
i was oh you remember g chat they had g chat yeah i remember buzz i was just so scared like i
don't know i wasn't allowed to have the og was like google buzz oh yeah i was more of a i had
hotmail i think i was i remember getting it it was originally jack51.kelly yeah and then i
immediately forgot the password so i had to switch it to jack52.kelly i had i couldn't go on google
buzz to play with carter and will and all my homies to because i had a like business account
because my dad during the dot-com bubble get out of there lauren what are you doing i'm just
trying to get memories during the dot-com bubble my dad bought will den ellen and sam den ellen
and lauradonellon.com for all of his children,
thinking that that would have value.
So my email was, but I was really into Jumbo Shrimp.
That was like my username.
So my email was jumboshrimp at willdonellon.com.
But I didn't get Google Buzz because it was like a business account,
so I missed out on all the fun.
You should have made it like gmail at willdonellon.com.
Yeah, I don't know if they would do that.
That would have been sick.
But yeah, I used to have willdonellon.com,
and i would like update it every week and i have i made my portfolio laurenhogland.com really
you should have it yeah well it's just like i have like photography on there and stuff
birds i own rustyfetishdown.com but i don't know what i'm gonna do with it
yeah is there an i hate will denellan.com or what's it called will denellan hater.com no
willie denellan go to willie denellan.com what this guy mitch perkins owned me okay this is
hilarious you can scroll down yeah wait i've heard that i've heard of mitch perkins he joins
all my live streams and he always says the audio is not working when he joins my live streams
wait this is so funny but uh when i worked on it this is this is actually all time when i worked
on the congressional campaign in 2020 at one point the candidate that i was working for and
my campaign manager became obsessed with the idea that our opponent was going to buy up donate
domain names to like slander us so we had to buy them all up before him so there's one full work
day where we bought her name was kim nelson and we bought kim nelson for congress.com and then we
bought kimnelsonsucks.com kimnelsonblows.com and like kimnelsonforcongress.com and i was and they
were like oh thank god like got those before he did and i was like what would he do with that
yeah like i like that i like to think that like you guys all have to come up with like things
that he could say but no one wants to say it so it's like kimnelsonsfat.com it just felt it felt
like an episode of parks and rec or something yeah it was like i was like what do we like veep
like i was like what the fuck what are we doing is like what is gonna happen if he owns kim nelson
sucks.com also like isn't it isn't it like a pretty quick process what to buy just like going
like go daddy yeah it was just like brainstorming which ones to get and it was like that is a really
funny uh a really funny thing there's the loudest i know should we like stop for a second
you've heard us say this before but you need to upgrade your energy to accelerator they have an
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metabolism going it's 100 natural caffeine and there isn't an energy drink that tastes better
i will say i don't i don't have any science to back this up yep other caffeine makes me like
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you've got you've got less than two weeks amen this podcast is brought to you by skims look who's
wearing them right now i actually show them for the camera i've been wearing skims for a lot longer
than uh we've been sponsored and so this has been a dream come true right now i'm wearing the brief
the um like more boxery yeah ones that are a little bit looser and they have like a fly and
stuff but the tight briefs are my jam i got a green pair and here's the thing i bet this is
happening to a handful of guys listening to this right now you're in the car and your freaking
briefs are riding up yep and you have to all day it's this rusty rearrange it literally you
have you seen me rearrange since we've got sponsored by skims no no this episode you
haven't done it once i this used to be me all all day yeah the skims ones i don't actually
i actually don't know how they do it they like stay where it is where you pull them down to is
where they were going to stay all day i wear skims boxers yep sweatpants pajama pants yep
pajama shorts yep and i have a i have a crew neck and i got chester on the crew neck he's on the
wave because i was wearing the uh i have one that's phoenix colored yep and chester walked
by and he was like what color is that and i lied and i told him it was a different one so we
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things about skims let's get back into the episode all right should we road map it up
well i want to say one thing first please well it was in the bathroom i got in just now i ran
to the bathroom i just got a notification man swallowed by humpback whale isn't that insane
that's telling you get your news from playdate before you get it from where'd you get that from
new york times yeah lib dumb lib news source uh uh did i tell you my mom uh play sorry play
they beat you to it again did i tell you my mom got rid of the new york times because they're too
lib no because they like they like put like i think that they weren't lib enough or something
i don't know your mom says she there was some article like it was related something happened
and she was like pissed off and so she got rid of the new york times but all my siblings were
all using her account so then we all went and got our own new york times accounts after so it like
so i was like mom by getting rid of it you actually tripled and then she has since admitted
she now re-got the new york times but i already just gained they gained four they gained four
more viewers because of your mom her protest went completely awry um yeah that's interesting i don't
know i hope i'm curious how long i can like stay out of this like obviously i'm very fortunate to
like not care about politics but i'm saying like at some age or like there was a point in our lives
where i think our parents probably didn't care a ton about politics and i think you hit some point
your 20s where you're like oh yeah i do i do i'm getting like the heebie jeebies lately like i
think it's going it's getting scary and i don't know how long i can just yeah you should adapt
what i do what head in the sand yeah but like my life is i don't think that's awesome the only
thing i'm worried about right now is the meteor that's gonna hit us in 2032 i know but there's
like real people's like lives and stuff on the line you know right but like you're like you
worrying about it doesn't feel like it does anything exactly so doing something is more
important but you you do you do anything i know that's what i'm saying like i that's what i'm
saying like if we're not going to take action which i know i'm not going to well i'm not i
don't know that i'm not going like i used to do that and also like we have a platform and i feel
like i never use it to talk about the things i believe in i would be bummed if you did one way
or the other why like i don't know i just think this is a place people come to well not i'm not
gonna i mean i'm not the podcast because that's like you guys too but just like my oh yeah platform
like i don't know i do i think that we're gonna look back on this time in american history and
be like damn we were all really apathetic to like some pretty awful shit happening yeah like i
genuinely feel i don't know i don't know how i think that yeah i don't want to get too too into
it but i think that if you if i like i know my approach to getting other stuff done so i can't
imagine i would ever be doing anything to to fix what i was worried about so i would rather not be
like worried about it and i will i will concede that i'm very lucky that i can live my life
without having anything to worry about except for the asteroid but that right now is the only thing
that's on my mind yeah i don't know i mean i yeah i guess they don't there's people in my life that
would be affected by it so i feel like it's hard to remove myself entirely yeah i don't even know
what you're what you're referring to but i'm just i don't know i just think i think that um
my life is killer right now yeah and i think because that's partially because i just don't
read anything fair enough i think i would work myself into a tizzy if i read stuff that wasn't
nautical i guess i just feel yeah especially in like the media space you just hear that
pitter patter again no it is it was like a it was like a rat no it was too heavy to be a rat
cat is a cat oh we have cats we've got a cat infestation i don't know but i am definitely
worrying about it a lot not gonna lie i like kind of missed the beginning of that conversation so i
don't know like how that even started i was saying like uh i think it started because i said
you'll get your news faster from playdate oh yeah the new york times yeah i don't know no i i don't
know like what are you referring to right now just uh like the yeah the the direction our country is
going right now is really scary i think where we're more of like an oligarchy than ever and
the elon musk shit and the way that they're just disregarding laws and forcing their hands
and i think we're heading in a dangerous direction
yeah sure i'd map it up yeah now i'm getting all bummed out again right but that's what i'm saying
is like if you said you're not gonna like if you're not gonna do anything i am like what are
you talking i don't know you just said you just said that you're not or i don't know i'm not doing
anything and that's what stresses me out that's exactly what i'm saying okay are you doing
anything i said no that's why i'm stressed out about it i don't think you i don't know
no i i just stressed yourself out i just think if we all take that mindset then people are going
to get fucked over people are going to get their lives ruined and their families ruined and right
get deported what do you want what do you want to do i'm not what there's a million things i could
do i could be getting involved in like organization and act you know getting people figuring out what
the next step is for young people and for our party using my platform to talk about these things
like i could i stay very kind of quiet and apathetic and i know i mentioned it here and
there but like the big reason this has happened in our country and that these people are in power
is because of like it became okay in media in our platforms to talk about like right-wing talking
points and not the others oh yeah i don't know i think i think if you're if yeah you should if
that's something that you want to do you should do it for sure but i don't think like worrying
about it without doing anything does anything agreed yeah that's sick we're on the same page
all right we got a fantastic episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by
our pitches followed by the permitting division of the building department i've decided i'm gonna
to do it let's go then we're gonna do everyone's favorite segment teach me something followed by
this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today followed by ways to say you gotta fart
and excuses for being late that you can use i'm excited next time you're late oh is ways to say
you had a fart you have to fart yeah what'd you put ways to say smoking weed oh yesterday you told
me fart and late i think you're right and i wrote it down because you said that and then i looked
back at the board did you take fart off the board then yeah because we were using it today oh so
it's no longer it's so funny like this being like a thing to worry about it oh you said i thought we
were doing i thought we were gonna smoke weed yeah you know what we're gonna do ways you have
part and ways you have to smoke weed and we're gonna just go we're gonna rapid fire
hopefully some of them hopefully some of them are um gonna overlap it'd be funny if you couldn't
tell yeah that yeah honestly some of mine honestly might now that i think about it that's funny um
pitches first pitch is from maja i don't know how to pronounce it well hello again the three of you
funny seeing you here i come bearing another billion dollar idea i don't know about you guys
but i sure used to love playing club penguin as a kid what a time to be alive in a game where
there's endless possibilities in mini games this is exactly why i bring to you club penguin island
it is a club penguin theme park similar to what i think universal studios or disney is like i got
no i like that a lot wait that's this is crazy that we talked about this unrelated um i got no
clue i'm not american you could take part in all the best parts of club penguin and one-to-one scale
city it's got everything the pizza making game the sledding the mind cards the card jitsu and
the fishing and more you can even buy little puffles and stay in igloo themed hotels during
your stay the merch possibilities are endless here i think if the budget is high enough we
could even include the weird secret agent side quests they had it'll pay for itself in a week
that's literally that actually said that that's awesome that sounds she that sounds unreal that's
imagine going to like the pizza shop yeah like making your own pizza in the thing
i would go straight into that secret agent side quest i'd go right to the mines
that would be a fucking blast oh my god i go to the log cabin i worry that it's like
in 20 years people would be like what is this like there's only one generation of people that
would know what all the stuff is the window the window is like maybe a year younger than us to
like five years older than we were definitely very late yeah yep we were the last people that
got to enjoy it yeah i love it let's hear another pitch i guess oops all right i love it wait she
has she successfully pitched before i think she has but i didn't read it i didn't see it a regular
clayton kershaw okay you say the coolest stuff next pitch thank you maja next pitch is from
soph angel baby soph she says hi lauren and the lornets i have a pitch for you what is the worst
part about sending an email uh fucking figuring out like what all the other things mean like cc
bcc yeah how to oh how to like format it because like not like sometimes i'll be writing a really
short one but i still follow the like return thing i'm like this looks odd like you know
you're supposed to be like hi will comma return oh yeah that's what you're saying body of it
return best rusty i feel like i yeah i've phased out of that i feel like no one really expects that
anymore yeah i wrote i mean honestly i probably i probably sent in the last 10 years i've probably
sent 10 emails yeah i don't say i probably sent not that many okay well she says i sent one today
actually i sent one today as well really yeah i sent one to my i emailed my dad which felt really
funny because i'm getting more on some peanut butter hey yo i emailed the i emailed the like
plant woman i still think it's all time that your dad is an almond butter company that recently
expanded into peanut well the thought the thought was to serve kids with peanut allergies or people
with peanut allergies and it's healthier um but then they are like well if you couldn't they
couldn't stay away from the the king maker well if you if you if you want to expand into peanut
butter yeah you have to like they had to build a whole new plant because even if it's in the same
building as the almonds you're technically not a peanut free facility yeah so like someone could die
yes oh my kids don't have peanut allergies they're probably gonna my roommate keep vaccinating our
kids i signed reese's post once it was a whole thing wait what oh yeah you told me that yes he's
told us this oh yeah i realized right as i was saying that wait like can i finish the pitch
um no what do you think well i was gonna say i was gonna say lauren hopes that her kids want
to have peanut allergies but they're gonna if we keep vaccinating our kids at this rate
right they're gonna have autism and peanut allergies so okay um what is people are gonna
we're throwing curveballs people don't know where we're all over the place okay well soph says that
the worst part about sending an email is not knowing if you're accidentally attaching the
wrong file and sending your boss a tastefully black and white but ultimately embarrassing nude
photo of yourself right that is why i bring to you the email embarrassment eliminator this works
like spell check and you can use it right before hitting send to scan your email specifically to
make sure that the right attachments are included and that you haven't mistakenly signed off with
if you need anything please hesitate to ask never have an emergency hr meeting again or at least not
for that reason love the pod xoxo sophie i love that because i will triple check yep files uh
i'm trying to think of like when this happened
like you know when you just you have to like import them but you can't like really preview
them so you're having to be like it's like just like a little it says it's there but you can't
yeah like i'm gonna take these like five and they're all like the same name it's like img
like four million four hundred thousand yep um been there i i think i told this already but i
was convinced i accidentally put a picture of my penis while pooping on the in one of our reels
i wish you had done that sometimes i will be also insane that you poop out of your penis
if i was yet comes out like play like play-doh through that like mash thing um when i was
actually i guess i still do this if i'm on my phone naked i like check every social media
and make sure i didn't actually post a picture of myself naked on it yeah i think i i think i
actually do don't like i wouldn't post anything if i was naked right because it's like i would
never post a story of my face if my balls were out it's like there there could be like a mirror
where there's like um you know what i mean like i yeah oh my god can you imagine the fucking
nightmare of that there was uh i think i've told this before but there was a kid that stood up on
zoom naked and didn't know in college yeah there was like first couple weeks of covid
and uh stood up and was like walking around naked and everyone was like oh no and he was
like in the clearly not paying attention to the class and i thought his camera was up it was just
like ass balls that's insane it wasn't a class i was in but i saw the video that is
oh someone was like filming it right away well yeah he had oh my god my can you obviously i'm
on the podcast can i call you later why did you answer yeah okay i'll see you at lunch
bye it's crazy my mom recently moved to um to la for the winter and it has just been
i like forgot what it's like to have like family around like everyone's here now yeah and so it's
just a no it's just like they just all gang up on me like i like fucked up i'll concede i we were
supposed to have dinner last night i fucked it up and we had a thing to do she's can she cancels
50 of the time we have plans and it was like the end of the world yeah that
or they like acted like i was like the dumbest guy ever and it was like you do this
you cheated the reason we were eating dinner last night was because we were rescheduling when
she canceled i think i don't want to live in the same place my parents right now
at this point in my life i love that she's here but i will but when the when casey is also when
one of my when my other sister is also here then it's like we have to we i have to somehow figure
out how to fit you in in these three days and she's also like not like right here right she's
like an hour away she's yeah she's like four she's like 30 minutes from here but i live in
brentwood so it's like an hour you know what i mean it's like a whole thing yeah sorry what were
we talking about before i rudely answered the phone on our podcast um you mentioned like stephen
a smith was like talking about lebron and it was just like he's like hi well it was that was the
remember the viral phone call prank i did on you guys yeah oh yeah that was the irl version i
thought that's what it was gonna be i could hear it otherwise i would have when my phone buzzes
specifically a call yeah the most stress i have ever gotten in my like mine is a here call me and
listen to this it's like lauren call my phone for some reason mine is like terrifying buzz
to just hold it like this this is a great podcast put it up to the mic you guys aren't
gonna believe the kind of buzz it's just all right it's like
oh yeah yours is like free wait put it by the mic so they can hear it
it's not a noise it's a vibration i know i put it up i want to see if i can hear it
no it's like it is yeah it's like it's like irregular mine is mine is like not consistent
mine is like uh it is what anxiety sounds oh my god will and i were walking around nashville
the other morning and there was a guy playing drums to the exact the exact pattern that like
anxiety feels like and we were like kind of hung over so he was walking he's like
it was so loud too it was overwhelming was that four it was like i i think it's so that you pay
just to get him to stop yeah every dollar i'll i'll chill out hold off for a second
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send us your favorites pick up some southern comfort today but for now let's get back into
the pod were we in the middle of a pitch or no we finished you guys have pitches oh yeah i have a
pitch i have a pitch as well i my pitch might be the dumbest one ever ever or in revolutionary
what's the worst part about chewing gum uh lose the flavor can't can't like can't eat it
gum you can eat oh that's it you can swallow that's my pitch i know it sounds primitive and
obvious but i want to chew it why i feel like we did we've been to the moon 60 years ago and we
haven't figured out a way that you can swallow gum i mean we didn't buzz aldrin literally says
we didn't but continue you don't think we landed on the moon no no wait we've been back like many
times i don't think we have been to the moon yeah we have no no i think we may have gone
the other times i don't think the one in 69 we did we just like had to say we did because the
russians were gonna get there first and buzz aldrin multiple in multiple interviews like we
didn't go like what other what other evidence would you need besides the guy who he buzz
aldrin in multiple interviews said we didn't go to the moon yeah they were like what's your
favorite part about going to the moon he's like well we didn't oh so it's like a weird like out
of context no he said it multiple and then there's one they one guy's like i remember watching it
uh i remember dude i remember watching it on tv and he was like well you didn't watch it it was
that was a cgi or that was like a recreation he said that was a recreation yes can you google
that can you google him saying that lauren said buzz buzz aldrin said moon landing was fake
okay what what why are you having or sorry that was
wait do you want to just can you google buzz aldrin said actually this one says
yeah this one actually does say that why has nobody been to the moon in such a long time
that's not
an eight year old's question
that's my question
I want to know
but I think I know
because we didn't
go there
and
that's the way it happened
and if it didn't happen
it's nice to know why
it didn't happen so
in the future
if we want to keep doing something we need to know why what is he talking about in the past
he's saying why would we why would we he said he wants to know why they said that because we didn't
go uh wait what is that long comment i mean what other people can everyone's saying it was taken
out of context we just watched the whole thing he the kid goes why have we not gone back to the
moody goes that's not an eight-year-old's question that's my question i want to know
why we haven't go back we've gone back and it's because we didn't go i mean i mean what like if
he had said we had gone you would have been like yeah you just said it but the fact because there's
also like video of it yeah and not very good video this video should be linked whenever someone
searches for the term taken out of context but how would how would that have been taken out of
context you just watch the whole unedited clip um when you watch the whole video it's pretty
obvious he was never seeing the moon landing never happened he was restating her question
about why no one has been there since the apollo program and he just said his thoughts about why
the apollo program wasn't continued i mean we literally just watched him say we didn't go i
mean i don't think that's indisputable proof that the moon landing yeah that's fine whatever
because if but if he had said we had gone you would be like yeah that's that's indisputable
proof because there's a million other reasons to believe that too i don't know i think if the guy
who went who supposedly went said we didn't but he's also said in every other time that they went
to the moon that's just like one question there are multiple other times he said that they also
neil armstrong won't swear on a bible that he went someone offered i didn't know this about you that
you don't believe in the moon i think yeah because you just like because you react like this whenever
i tell you something about myself what like no no if i have like if i have like a theory you like
always you make me feel dumb the moon landing being fake do you expect people to just go along
with that i mean the guy who went said it buzz aldrin or neil armstrong says he went i don't
care armstrong says that we'll never say that we went on a bible okay someone offered him five
thousand dollars if he swore on a bible that he went to the moon he wouldn't do it it's crazy
all right that's interesting anyway i don't know anyway the pitch uh what were you what was your
pitch oh gum that you can swallow how do we keep getting because he said we've gone to the moon
but we haven't figured out how to make gum that you can swallow yeah so we okay we've done other
technologically impressive things and uh yeah gum that you can swallow no i think that'd be amazing
any flavor i like that um what's different about it because you can already swallow gum
yeah but doesn't it grow on your stomach grows into a watermelon you should poop it out in a
couple days there's not good for your digestive system yeah i don't think you're supposed to do
um ref refridge drawer okay man what's the worst part about uh like having a mini fridge in your
room uh it's not built into your it's like it's like childish like if you're an adult and you
had a mini fridge in your room it's like takes away from the decor it's childish you know people
would be like why don't you just walk to the fridge this is the refrig drawer okay it's a
drawer sized fridge so you don't have to be the guy with the mini fridge in your room it slides
out from under the bed or it like connects to your desk or whatever so like you would have it would
look like you just have a normal drawer under your bed you roll over ice cold gatorades in there i
think that would be great wouldn't that be fantastic i was just thinking about we should
get a mini fridge for our little office that we can put diet cokes in yes and stuff that other
people can't take unless you take your diet coke no no i'm just saying you were going ooh so i was
like this isn't for you wait why would i i don't take your stuff no i was just i okay if we had a
fridge of diet cokes oh i would come and take one you would come take one yeah i would ask of course
uh should we do teach me something teach me something um all right the year is 1910
10 year old lewis and six year old temple abernathy have decided to cross america by
horseback without adult supervision from oklahoma to manhattan how old are they 10 years old 10 and
6 oh my god they crossed over 2 000 miles lewis bud abernathy and temple abernathy were the sons
of jack abernathy a u.s marshal and good friend of president roosevelt jack was appointed by
roosevelt to keep peace in the oklahoma territory and these are we'll put a picture of them right
here but for your own bookkeeping that's them oh my god they're they're in 19 in 1910 the boys
wanted to meet their dad's form their dad's friend and former president teddy roosevelt
so they rode on horseback approximately 2 000 miles from oklahoma to new york city
to meet roosevelt as he returned from an african safari they traveled without adult supervision
facing harsh weather river crossings and wild animals word of their trip lit up telegraph lines
all across the east and eventually the abernathy boys were famous everywhere they went once
reaching new york they rode their horses behind president roosevelt in a parade celebrating his
cavalry regimen known as the rough riders this is them doing that wait they just rode behind the
rough riders yeah in sick in 1911 the brothers bought an automobile and drove it back home
themselves making them the youngest cross-country drivers ever this is them in the car wait can you
just slack that to me so i can have wait how do they like one one last slide feed themselves i'll
tell you some of the people who had this is a quote from them yeah some of the people who had
the least to give were the ones who gave us the most along the road food shelter and friendship
and when we looked for some good in everyone we usually found it even in the bandits we met in
new mexico that's fucking crazy yeah this could sound awesome that was that was actually about
a different trip that was uh their first round trip to santa fe and back prior to their new
york journey but like that's insane wait so how old were they six and ten insane what do you think
they grew up like i feel like they blew their load too early like by the time they were already
you'd be like oh i peaked when i was yeah six you barely remember it i don't remember a fucking
thing from when i was six yeah i don't i don't remember anything that's actually crazy were you
in kindergarten or preschool kindergarten right i have no idea so i think first grade maybe no
really yeah katherine jean's class is six through nine i think but that to me still feels hilarious
like when i was nine you're still a child but i remember being like six-year-olds are still like
babies like they put you guys in the same fucking class yeah it was definitely there was a power
dynamic there oh yeah but what do you think katherine and gene are up to now uh they young
teachers no or they were younger i don't know katherine no they were older sorry they were old
they're definitely both retired i saw i had multiple teachers that taught my dad
really throughout from that's very cool my first teacher ever taught my dad like my preschool
teacher i went to a different kindergarten than he did and then every other school we went to all
the way through the end of college were the same schools yeah and so like i had probably had five
to 10 teachers from from first grade to college that taught my dad as well that's pretty insane
it was wild and we look a little bit alike so like his some of his classmates now like taught
at some of these schools yeah and so like we knew each other i walked into a theater class
and the new teacher she had just taken over for this guy that retired uh was like are you
son like before i even like said a word huh i was like yeah bleep my dad's name um replace it with
this jorngus malt jorngus malt um and then i had i had a t there was a teacher who's i think first
year at rollins was my dad's first year and retired when i like i was his last class and i
think one of his first years was with my dad that's crazy crazy you remember that he was like
really fucking old but like do you ever think about like teachers like i feel like i would
forget every he didn't he always i was like i was like my you actually had my dad and told him the
name and he like played along but yeah but i don't i mean dude when you were when you were
retiring college you're like yeah like she craps himself oh boy i actually taught your dad
oh help help help no you taught my dad
you taught sir okay earth the professor post on youtube professor has meltdown after meeting
meeting son's brother
son's brother
meltdown after meeting son's brother you think that you think that he's um
you think that he's like really like emotional because he's beating you but he's
crapping himself and having a heart attack oh powerful stuff
he taught me in a class called boys to men that was a class dude liberal some of the classes i
took at liberal arts school were just like it's not a real unless you choose to make it a real
place yeah boys two men i took i took there are some classes where i'm like i don't even remember
like i don't remember like what that could have possibly been about like one of our assignments
was to watch moonlight i don't what is that it was a one like i've never seen that i've always
wanted didn't win best picture yeah i didn't i thought it was just kind of boring what was it
about i feel like there are a lot of other good ones growing no it's about like growing up as like
a black kid who's gay it was just like it was the most like 2019 2017 movie of all time like he's
black and gay and uh he's like they like also like make him like live in the hood it was just
like i thought i thought it was like two two on the head you know what i mean i think this was
the oscars year where they accidentally announced yeah yeah yeah he was like no oh they were the
one who got fucked they announced la la land and it was moonlight yeah well i guess a lot that more
fucks la la land because they have like moonlight got their stuff that's true um how does that even
fucking happen well it was the card was like wrong right it was like the best actor one or something
i think oh and so it said like oh it said emma stone la la land ryan got or emma stone la la
land yeah will you teach me something willie yes okay this is john murray spear okay uh he was in
boston in like the 1800s he kind of ran with like the founding fathers and shit he uh he was in he
led social reform early on women's rights uh he was an abolitionist he helped build the underground
well road like very good guy however he then got really distracted by the idea of building
a new messiah out of electronics so like when like they were figuring out electricity like he
he kind of ran with ben franklin and stuff and they were like oh this is gonna be the path to
like like the universe and like god and so he built basically like a hodgepodge like guy out
of like electronics and thought it was the new messiah and uh it was made of copper zinc magnets
and a tape and a table and he called it the new mary and tried to give it life uh which didn't
work and i think he kind of flamed out from that community and lost sort of his clout but i just
like the idea like a guy who's like really ahead of the curve on everything and then gets really
sidetracked by trying to build a robot jesus yeah i think i mean that's just he had like he had like
asperger's probably yeah i don't yeah like he was like very he was a very um emotionally intelligent
autistic person yes who got extremely sidetracked it uh that would suck that's my biggest fear is
to spend my life's work on something and then it sucks i think that's so much better so much better
than the alternative spend my or no sorry the the opposite obviously is the dream but the middle
ground of like not at least trying something and it's like yeah you didn't live an interesting
life like that at work that at least is like hilarious he gave it a shot yeah um living your
life not doing not like never putting yourself out i think that's my biggest fear is just being
like lauren lived a five out of ten yeah that's actually i think i'd rather i'd rather it's
terrifying yeah i'd rather have completely fucked it like gone down in flames than like
swing for defenses you sit in a sit in like a cubicle and do just do nothing yeah i agree
which obviously you can do stuff outside of work i just meant like in some facet of your life i
would i would i would like to think that um people have like funny things i would way rather have
them be like dude he was way off base than yeah not talk about you i guess a robot jesus would
suck though do you ever go to someone's funeral and then you're like you're like oh if i like
everyone has all these like interesting like cool things to say about them you're like i don't know
like i need to i need to like start making some moves yeah they obviously lived a lot more life
you know alfred nobel the nobel prize yeah he invented dynamite it's awesome and then his
brother died and they newspaper got confused and wrote that he had thought that he had died
and wrote his obituary so he got to read his own obituary and it was like this horrible human
invented dynamite this weapon that's killed all these people when he really invented it for like
collapsing buildings and shit he was like oh my god like if i die everyone's gonna this is gonna
be my legacy because you get to read his own obituary so then he created the nobel prize
as a way of like restoring his legacy whoa well he still has a chance kind of crazy man uh do mine
do mine do do my your obituary jack kelly didn't run from life he ran at it every he brought a joy
and curiosity which warmed the hearts of those around him and those across the globe through
his viral podcast with his hot podcast partner will denellan his body is nuts he's a cut he's
still nuts his body's still nuts even though it will soon decay in the ground his body is still
nuts we everyone gets one touch on the pass through it's an open casket with touching i
at my funeral my wife and kids and everyone's going to be around and then there's going to be
like a like a clearly gay guy it's crying way harder than everyone else and it's gonna i'm
gonna hire him before i die to have everyone question it i like that move oh that's funny
and like can we say can we say twink yeah i can't i think we had this conversation before
Yeah, there's going to be a just flaming twink.
You're going to hire a twink for your funeral?
Yeah, and he's going to be crying way louder than everyone else.
And they're going to be like, it's odd.
I like that.
There's going to be a twink, a bear, and an otter crying at my funeral.
And a cub.
A couple of cubs.
Otter.
I'll be the otter.
All right.
I volunteer.
Should we do this guy rocks?
This guy rocks.
This guy rocks.
We do yours first, Julie.
This guy rocks today.
Yep.
What a weird episode.
this guy's rocks this guy is rocks all right who is this little fella that's alex fun english uh
this is a foreign kid and he is learning english and he reenacts scenes
hi let's be friends how can i call you oh yeah hi i'm george um are you a geologist
Wait, I'm not a geologist.
Are you a graphic design?
I'm not a graphic designer.
There you go.
I think he writes the scenes and they just make no sense.
How cute.
Excellent English.
Unfortunately, the story does not really translate the same.
Great work.
oh i am this is sweet people are like actually giving english tip here in english when you say
what transit says how can i call you we say what is your name you check back in about an hour and
they're just gonna be the meanest comment in the world yeah uh he rocks i'm so excited to go home
tonight and just relax wow do you write that yep all right pretty good um here you go lauren
this is a video of a guy walking they're in australia or new zealand or somewhere
and one guy's walking an alpaca down the street and i just realized alpaca if you sit like sounds
like a like saying alpaca in australian like alpaca i don't know oh what's alpaca it's not
a word but i was saying like after i whatever alpaca there's a guy walking an alpaca down the
street and uh another guy pulls out his phone and they have a brief exchange it's a big dog mate
i think you're pardoning your fuck with don't fuck yourself what do you expect
you're walking a fucking llama yeah you look like one you're fucking look at scripted no so he goes
i think there's something so funny about the heart the harmless comment it's pretty big dog mate
yeah and the guy goes fuck off or whatever the camera up yours and then the the guy behind the
camera has the funniest line of all time which is um like get real or whatever like you like
look at yourself you're walking an alpaca or what do you expect you're walking an alpaca down the
street because a llama dude just fucked up that's so funny yeah i that feels insane
um all right like i feel like if you're walking a llama down the street you want someone to talk
view well clearly he he has to get it from point a to point b you know what i mean like why does
he use a zipline that's true that was a camel i mean he kind of looks like he works at the zoo
that's what i'm saying like he's he clearly this isn't where he would prefer the alpaca to be
yeah but that's where it is you're out fuck off you fuck wit on your fuck week
don't fuck yourself what do you expect my you're walking a fucking llama
what do you expect that's where he draws the line yeah he was like all right it's a fucking
alpaca yeah you look like one you're fucking look yeah at the foot we don't have also what
like machine like this guy the guy who's filming is on like a forklift oh is he like
plot from the beginning like uh started everything he gets out
that's awesome um i love it all righty willie are you doing your prank oh yeah okay can we
use your phone this time i've been giving my i'm giving my phone number to all these people
my husband recently built an outdoor shower and he's been so stressed because he didn't pull any
permits you can totally call him okay and she sent the wrong number so i'm sending you the
right one now wait no no i have it right here she goes that that's the wrong number it's this
i have it in front of me what uh what should we say we have to do to the shower um
you're not allowed to have like hot wait it's an outdoor shower yeah
say like the faucet has to the faucet has to be at the bottom and shoot up
like it's too high wait this is not the outdoor shower we did last time right no it is but you
call you left a voicemail for the wrong i'm sorry sorry i was zoned out for a second okay
got it got it um maybe the faucet has to spray up or the no it has it can only be at chest height
so okay he's nervous because he doesn't have any permits so first be like we we oh so there's a
real yeah like be like we notice you don't have any permits for your outdoor outdoor shower like
our guys are looking at her right now but then we also notice that it has to yeah it has to be at
the bottom or something and let's just spray up yeah we're gonna say like like i'm like a cool
i'm like a one of the cool guys from the building department like i you know i don't want i'm
obviously not gonna say that but i basically like i'm looking for a way to get around this for him
and if we move the faucet to the bottom it's technically a sprinkler
okay and then you won't need oh i see what you're saying yeah you're like throwing him a bone yeah
yeah i'm like you know there is something we could do yep we've had people do this in the
past where they actually just move the faucet to the bottom and it's technically now zoned
as a sprinkler yeah that's good yeah and then he does so then he doesn't need permits or something
yeah okay and then he says all right who am i you say spamble
hello hi how's it going this is mark from the uh permitting division of the building department do
you have a second to talk yeah um so not you know not the end of the world but we uh we got word
that maybe you built like an outdoor shower at the house yeah i did so honestly man like i don't
really care it's not the end of the world for me um but we didn't we checked the file did you file
any permits for it um no i did not oh okay so unfortunately it's a kind of a lengthy
the permit process and like it's brutal for you it's brutal for us and one thing that we've seen
people do that they've had success with is if you like do you know how high up the faucet is that
the water comes out like give or take yeah it's probably like three foot up oh okay so honestly
that's like pretty close we've had people move it down um on the ground and it's technically
like reclassified as a sprinkler and so it'll just spray it would spray up at you okay um and we could
honestly the handle to turn on the water no where the water comes out at so it would be like shooting
it would be shooting like up at you it's kind of it's right so like if we can okay we can re we
can reclassify it as like a sprinkler and then you don't have to file any of the uh any of the
permits we don't have to do any work on our end um honestly we're we have guys that can do it for
you we have like in-house plumbers um if you want to work with us if you want to do it with someone
else uh that's fine too building department you have plumbers no we we have uh companies that we
like to work with um okay but we could recommend those for you um i will say i have tried using
some of these showers and it's not the most enjoyable experience but um no yeah i mean
how does it sound like yeah no it's honestly it's pretty it's pretty brutal it's like kind
of hard to get any of the soap off but um you know i'll uh why don't you give me a call back
here in a couple days and we can uh get cooking on this okay all right we'll do have a nice day
what was your name uh mark mark okay all right all right thank you yeah
okay i definitely i was in and out that was a good one meltdown
i was just like yeah it doesn't sound like it doesn't sound like what i was like it's not
honestly it's not i've done it it's not like an enjoyable experience to like have it like
shooting up at you and he was like yeah it doesn't sound yeah he was like it doesn't sound like it at
i couldn't hear it i i get i get like too much like like i can do it myself but i can't do the
second hand will you tell gg i did i said okay tell her to give him a wait tell her to film his
reaction though i was like i couldn't believe how long it was going on dude that guy was so chill
he was just like oh damn that's
kind of the name of the game with this segment yeah um all right should we start with the
excuses for being late or ways to say you have to fart slash smoke weed let's do excuses for
being late all right okay willie let's do let's do these ones like no phone rapid fire so or what
so we can edit it that way cool yeah oh my god it's oh no what i fucked this one up too what'd
you do these are ways to break up some with someone wait wait what was the one you were
gonna do i remembered where they were on the board and i went back in and it must have been
after you erased it wait wait what's the one that you were gonna do so i did i did
Ways to say you have to fart
And excuses for being late
And Will did
Ways to break up with someone
And ways to smoke weed
Perfect
We can just do all of them
We can just do a round robin
We might not be able to make a
Great clip out of it but we can try
Wait no let's just try
Let's do
These are ways to say you have to fart
And then you fire all
Four of yours off and then you do all four
No, no, no, just ways to say you have to fart and ways to say you're smoking weed.
It's just a fucking mess.
Okay, these are ways to say you have to fart and or ways to say smoking weed.
No, because that implies that both of us knew about the other one.
I feel like, should we just rip them off single file?
Yeah.
All right, these are ways to say you have to fart.
It's not funny if I can't build off of you.
This is my fault, 100%.
i apologize um it's fine i don't want this to be a clip yeah it doesn't have to be it's our
podcast the barking spiders are back want to see a magic trick good all aboard stink train
um i'm gonna go to the gas station anyone want anything i like that a lot um did you know i
play the trumpet that's good better than shitting myself i like that um mind if i play the toot
flute yep okay now you tell me ways to smoke weed i'm so upset right now these are ways to say
these are because i wanted to do these ones too yeah they were on his i know i fucked it up
oh i see these are new ways to say smoking weed hunking wonky spitting snark
flash and mash pounding plant torching lung yeah we're gonna get a torch along and brian's ass
um okay these are excuses for being late i can't believe we just burned four drafts
we can't use any of these um i'm sorry my wife shrunk the kids
i got trapped between a black cat and a ladder um i forgot how to tie my shoes
i'm hammered i hate it here like okay tell me ways to break up with someone on valentine's day
these are ways to break up with someone on valentine's day this is these are ways to tell
someone you're breaking up with them uh my family is going to be moving on without you
the tribe has spoken
i gotta find a whole new crew
on this solemn eve i break the news to thee
we the we know we no longer may share the love to wait on this solemn eve i break to you the news
we no longer may share
the love to which we used.
Go!
Get out!
Get out!
Go on, get!
Get!
Perfect.
Hey, hand up.
Hand up.
I fucked that up.
Everybody makes mistakes.
Everybody has those days.
Torching lung is funny.
I don't know.
All right.
lauren whose personality you're gonna steal this week i'm gonna steal cupid's personality
cupid i'm gonna steal what does cupid even do he's the god of angel of love god of love
god of desire okay then maybe not the roman god of erotic love lauren's gonna get freaky
apparently okay no one's this weekend i'm cutting that can you just bleep it sure i'm stealing
uh
very bonds because i'm swinging for the fences nice um i'm gonna steal
hermione's personality from um the the one where she can time travel prisoner of azkaban chamber
of secrets whatever one it was because i yeah because i have made because she has to go to two
classes at one time and i've made multiple plans that overlap with each other so i'm just gonna
hope i can figure that out that would be nice to have that thing um all right we love you guys
so much proud of you so so much uh gg i hope your i hope your husband isn't upset
ggs ggs gg i hope your husband's not upset with us he was a really good sport
i will say like the the it's so shocking how like easily you can convince someone
i know we say this all the time but like i didn't even i didn't even know his name
yeah yeah i just said i'm mark from i didn't know the name or the i think it's just like
anytime like the risk of like yeah that's back would make it worse for you people are gonna
fall in line i just won't i will never answer i never answer calls anymore that are random
yeah i don't either i'm so nervous it's gonna be like they're gonna hack into my phone or like
i feel like i constantly i'm always anxious that i did something wrong and i feel like if someone
like i i don't want to ever be able to get caught off guard like i want them to have to show their
hand oh like via like voice you know what i mean that's seriously um all right love you guys have
a great uh um boy i got this have a great uh tuesday and we'll see you guys no sorry
yeah wait have a great uh rest of your monday tuesday this is a wednesday episode yeah
have a great rest of your wednesday hump hump day hump day hump day 29 uh and then have a great
thursday friday saturday sunday take some time to relax and care for yourself and i would have
i think you should get something really yummy for dinner uh tonight because you deserve it
comment down below what what you're gonna eat or make um yeah wait and also spam um
spam lauren dub in the chat common lauren dub no i don't like those comments i never know like
what it means comment bird flu in the comments comment comment rare rare lauren rare lauren
q comment if you did anything fun for valentine's day okay and then everyone follow lauren on
instagram all right we love you guys have a great rest of your week get something lovely for dinner
tonight bye
Thank you for watching!
