Will & Rusty's Playdate - rusty barrel rolled a plane

Episode Date: December 18, 2024

Rusty recounts his first pilot experience and gets called out for his poor listening tendencies, while Willy reveals his skepticism toward business school. The boys also test the legitimacy of the number 811 “Call Before You Dig” and wonder just how hot Stacy’s mom truly was. Finally, they introduce a new segment, Rusty’s Would You Rather, before finishing with names for grandparents that don’t exist and Harry Potter spells and potions they’d make if they could. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod BUY OUR HAT: https://almostfriday.shop/products/a-pleasure-to-have-in-class-hat USE BETMGM BONUS CODE PLAYDATE AND GET YOUR $1500 FIRST BET OFFER TODAY https://promo.nj.betmgm.com/en/promo/geolocator?orh=promo.betmgm.com&wm=7123555 THANKS TO THIS EPISODE’S SPONSOR TWISTED TEA. TWISTED TEA IS REFRESHING, DELICIOUS, AND TASTES LIKE REAL ICED TEA BECAUSE IT’S MADE WITH REAL BREWED TEA. DON’T FORGET TO PICK UP SOME TWISTED TEA FOR YOUR HOLIDAY PARTY OR NEXT GATHERING! GO TO HTTPS://WWW.LUCY.CO/FRIDAY AND USE PROMO CODE FRIDAY FOR 20% OFF YOUR FIRST ORDER. WARNING: THIS PRODUCT CONTAINS NICOTINE. NICOTINE IS AN ADDICTIVE CHEMICAL. (00:00) Intro (02:16) Natural Disasters (05:18) Rusty Flew a Plane! (14:49) Dogs (17:29) Business School (22:22) Pocahontas (33:26) Hot Moms (38:22) Episode 68! (42:21) Roadmap (46:29) Pitch Submissions (55:33) Pitches (01:07:13) Teach Me Something (01:16:00) This Guy Rocks (01:19:51) Rusty’s Would You Rather (01:22:02) Names for Grandparents that Don’t Exist (01:23:35) Harry Potter Spells & Potions that Don’t Exist (01:28:47) Whose Personality are you Stealing? #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

New from Nespresso, blend wellness into your coffee routine with the Coffee Plus range, infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like Coffee Plus B12 to help support immune function and Coffee Plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose Ginseng Delight, our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com.

hear that it's your money calling it wants a promotion elevate your savings with the scotia high interest savings account always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest conditions apply visit scotiabank.com slash hisa to learn more scotia bank you're richer than you think playdate episode 68 and you guys know what happens next week uh oh maybe it doesn't wait don't tell me that story you were telling me well it was i it's it's a i think it's something i've noticed that you do not a lot but like whenever you don't want to have a conversation with someone like i feel like like i'll just like put on like a smiley face and like try to get through it but you will just do this you just won't make eye contact with them at all and so

when we were getting out of our cab in nashville we had like a we had to be the airport like five something a.m or something so it was like we're all very tired no doubt we're like got to our hotel and there's like this valet and he's like no way rusty like i love blah blah blah like you guys are staying with the ball and the whole conversation you're just like just literally looking anywhere but his face oh he all to just fart no cut that i i don't mean to do that sometimes i sometimes i'm just like not feeling my best yeah and it's like i don't want to i just don't want them to be looking at me i don't want to look at them but it's just no but it just happened now too and i was like i pitched you an idea for the podcast that you clearly didn't like

but instead of saying no you just went he also likes to walk away yeah or just walk away yeah uh i will never forget like last year we're in the kitchen we like just came back from a break it's like me him and caitlin in the in the kitchen and he's like caitlin how was your break and she like starts to answer he's fully walking out of the kitchen i'm like i call him out i go where are you going he's like oh yeah i think she probably just had like a but i didn't have that great it could not have been that good of a break in his beds um it's i mean i don't know i think you can tell sometimes you can tell like this just isn't going anywhere yeah but like you have to like as a courtesy most people you you will just check out the moment you're done it's just

like all right i'm done um that's showbiz everyone doing i'm really good honestly i'm uh i'm having one of those wednesdays that just makes you want it to let go i want two of them oh seven one of those wednesdays i won't quit this wednesday is not dude i'm it almost was like a an actual disaster for me to get here this morning yeah wait so are you gonna take so we're on this like writing retreat in calabasas right now which is like on the other side of the like mountains and shit from here and there was like really bad wildfires yesterday and the whole road that we would take to get here was all closed down on the apple maps like this morning which if i had to that would mean i had to go like inland and take the four or five which would have like

yeah like i actually probably would have been like an hour late or something would have been a disaster but thankfully there were it said it was closed on the maps app and then it was just like open so we're like how long are we gonna get away with this like thinking there would be like a roadblock at some point but they must have like just opened it was the fire still near you yeah it was it was in between here and where i'm staying also why is california i mean granted this is like a bigger story but like it feels like california local news is like still like nationwide news like my dad will text me and be like small earthquake in Malibu

or like fire in Malibu it's probably also because we live here and they're our parents but like he I think he's just like but if that happened in New York I feel like the same if there's wildfires if there's wildfires in New York that would be like a world story but I guess

it's just like there's so many people yeah also I feel like you hear about wildfires in general like they had bad ones in like the northwest that were news did you ever hear about the uh the tornado in in cape elizabeth one year no when we were kids they were like there's a tornado coming and like ivory tornado i had seen was like destruction yeah like rip whatever they were like all these memes like we like all like batting down the

hatches and then you came out like maybe like a lawn chair was knocked over or something and all the all the memes were like we will rebuild it was like one patio chair over did you guys have uh flooding growing up i really bad floods like horrible in charleston it's like the worst flooding in the country oh yes in south carolina i remember my sister was at usc and uh and her like the first two floors of her dorm were underwater that yeah i mean usc is usually more insulated but charleston's yeah like below sea level so it's they're trying to build like a flood wall or something but we would go like people go like kayaking not we i never actually did it but i always wanted to well they said not to because like the power lines would break and

fall into the water so if you're you know you could like i could have gone kayaking like in my neighborhood yeah down the streets which always sounded fun but then it's like in theory touching the water you could just fucking die right there was uh rollins would flood during hurricanes but maine never did i remember like there was this one intersection that would just disappear every year jeez like when there was a hurricane it would just be like underwater in a neighborhood it'd be it'd be like an intersection for boats more like or dolphin or dolphin

or dolphin did you guys hear what I did yesterday oh that's right Will said that Will said that I couldn't barrel roll a plane oh wait I totally forgot okay I said you couldn't land it

no both take off and landing were the things we were talking about I will say well for the record she didn't let me yeah I know i think i could have done takeoff and i don't think i could have done landing i will give you that when we were coming in for landing it was like a very small plane i could have done takeoff i could not have landed it lauren i slacked you a video but you actually did a flip in a plane i did five barrel rolls and then she took me for two loops because i was too scared to commit

but i i barrel you were too scared to commit what does that mean to like a loop is like holding it back for like 30 seconds got it wait and if you fuck if you gave up halfway through if i gave up we would die really i mean she would be in the back and save us but she could save you that's what i'm wondering was there ever a scenario which is like if you fuck this up you're gonna die uh if i like sent us into like a tailspin she could probably still she's like a world-renowned aerobatics pilot okay like and she has controls and you also have controls she our sticks are are in sync so if i move mine hers moves but like if i fucked up she could grab it and be like hey hands off that's what i was wondering so she told me like if i ever say like my plane like just

hands off i'll like save us um but lauren i sent you a video so scary this is the first barrel roll i did so before you play this learn i want to give you i want to set the scene a little bit okay So I was told we were going to be in the air for like an hour, right? Yeah. And so in my head, it's like, okay, you know, we'll fly for 25 minutes. We'll probably do five minutes of aerobatics and then we'll do 25 minutes back, right? Yeah. So I'm like kind of chilling, like just enjoying the sights.

Like this is awesome that I am doing this. I have not even remotely started to like prepare to do the barrel roll or anything, even like fly the plane. and uh we had comms on yeah and uh i my i made my call sign nickels so she was just like all right nickels like like uh you can make anything i mean you didn't have to make one i just was like i would probably i'd probably do gort that'd be good on call signs that don't exist yeah all right just go quick because he's telling a story lauren you'd be you'd be perm no you'd Lauren would be...

Wasp. Yeah, Lauren would be Wasp. No, it's too hard to say Wendy. Talk to me, Wendy. Wendy. It's just a different name. So this is the plane that I'm in. Oh, nice.

I'm in the front of it. The cockpit, if you will. Yeah, but the whole plane is... It's all cockpit. It's mostly cockpit. No main cabin. There's no main cabin. No food service, no snacks.

and you're in kind of like a reclined it was sick you're in like a yeah almost like f1 style you know position and so we get up there and you just hear a guy on the comms go all right we're ready for rusty's role and i hadn't even thought about it yet and so i had to be like okay what did she tell me to do which was like pitch up 30 degrees back to neutral and then just fucking like send it to the left and this is like as far as like aerobatic planes go this is one of the nicest ones yeah so like this one is i will give it to you probably the easiest like a toddler could have done this probably okay if he i'm not listen i'm impressed and i don't i'm not yucking you were you scared no that was what was so weird about it it's not like a roller coaster

it's like very peaceful so we hadn't done anything yet this is the video we're flying and they just go all right we're ready for rusty's role and she goes all right rusty roll she's german okay pull up and then play this video and wait before you play it i was supposed to do it really fast yeah because that's how you maintain altitude and i went really slow because i would she was like slow ones are cool but you have to really commit to it whatever she when you go sideways you slice through the air like a knife because there's nothing holding you up like the wings aren't there yeah so we fell like you know a hundred feet in this video watch this christ this is all me for the record oh my god and then her and i were just like celebrating down there the boys in the

aerobatic plane were like cracking up and then they were like all right and they would like reposition us and uh i did a couple fast drops so much right there that looks terrible no it was like the most peaceful thing in the world holy shit like i you know i said i got over my fear roller coasters yeah i'm still afraid of them like i just think it's fun now yeah i want this wasn't afraid i don't think either of you would be afraid in this plane it was bizarre no no i think i might i i i would i would do it i would try it i would definitely do it it was it was looking at the ground it's quiet you have big headphones on yeah and you're just kind of like looking and then we flew in we flew upside down for like 10 seconds yeah and she there's a ratchet around your waist

that like you're supposed to really anchor yourself and she goes like if you feel like you're as tight as you can go like you're not your ass is still gonna leave the seat and she goes are you tight and i go i'm as tight as i can be and then she flips us upside down and i literally my ass left the like there was like a foot of space between my ass and the seat and i'm like sitting there my head is like on the canopy and um and then she was like how are you doing and i was like there's so much blood in my head like please flip back over and so she flipped back over and then the loop-de-loop is sorry i don't want to turn this into into like a 30 minutes of plain talk no it's interesting this is the last one but the loop-de-loop was crazy she i was

feeling a little nauseous after the barrel rolls yeah she was like can you do the loop-de-loop and i was like i think like i can do it like i need you to probably do it like i don't know if i can commit to that right now that one was kind of scary to me and so you know you're sitting there and she goes all right we're gonna we're pitched down you have to hit 160 to get enough speed to then like go up the hill god that makes sense and uh so we're pitched up or you know you see the sky and you're like you know the the ground is behind your back and then what's so strange is the ground just appears there obviously because you're upside down so like you think you're still looking up but then there's like houses above you yeah and you're like that's

whoa what and then when you come down do you know what like g-forces g-forces it's a movie about moles it's uh right i don't know it's like inertia or something it's like basically like the gravity pulling down because you're you're like you're fighting against it and so it pulls yeah look up like g like go to images yeah yeah yeah like my face was doing a much less dramatic version of that okay um we hit two g's her plane can do 10 that's like this podcast two g's yeah we almost hit three g's yeah yeah um and then and then when we were done filming she was like would you like to do another loop or would you like to do sorry would you like to do another barrel and i was like yes and she like got on the comms like uh we'll meet you guys back at base

like rusty and i gonna go do more battle rolls and so we went and i did one too many that's when i got like a little nosh yeah and i was like all right take me take me back to base home and i just had my hand on the barf bag for like 20 minutes while we waited to land oh that's i'm glad you you didn't leave anything on the table you pushed your limits right that's a good at one point i told her i told her i don't want to do the loop-de-loop yeah and the guys didn't hear it over the radio they misunderstood and so they just were like all right we're ready for the loop and she was like right fuck it and so like i'm glad that i didn't for the record i did say like i do not want to do this like it is on video like yeah i but you're right that out i'm glad i'm glad that

i did like i ran the gauntlet i think i would be there was one maneuver that i did or there were a couple maneuvers that i didn't hit but there's one that she does in competition where she goes straight up and then the plane hits zero miles per hour speed and falls back down like slides back down and the engine is off and then you either flip backwards or you flip forwards and go into like a nosedive or an inverted nosedive nope yeah and uh and then you like catch it and she was like would you like to do that and i was like no obviously obviously not obviously i want to do anything but that wait look up geforce movie uh no i would the ham i thought it was hamsters that's what i was trying to remember guinea pigs maybe yeah that's what

the g is for uh rusty i'm very excited to see this how cool yeah it's gonna be it's gonna be great uh the one this week is crushing the one this week is actually that was funny the the video the leo someone commented uh saying that this feels like a nathan for you episode um um guineas yeah i think they're guinea pigs ew but look at oh that's a mole yeah you're right that is funny that that was the part of the movie that you remembered i just like the mole guy for some reason i always like the burrowing i like the burrowing with their nose do you like i think that's really what do you like real moles i've seen her i've only there we have them in our backyard in florida they're just like little guys really yep they're like this big and we were

sitting playing scrabble and you hear like rustling and they're just like in the guard you like they think that you are constantly like trying to kill them so they're chill so the second they see you like freaking out and like trying to like get underground oh i think it's because my dog used to be like my dog's a hunting dog but now she doesn't know if she's retired she wouldn't know if there was a coyote in the room with her you know what i mean she had bad vision yeah she's 17 wow dude and our last dog was like 21 jeez my dog lived to be like 17 or 18 we thought i thought that was like crazy they they've been calling her uh they they every year they go she's probably not gonna make it to booth bay which is like where they go in the summer and uh and then

she just like does miraculously and so they this year they're calling her miss booth bay 2025 because i think she's gonna make it there they didn't think she was gonna make it to christmas damn well let's not wait is this cat or sorry they didn't think she was gonna make it to thanksgiving this is callie remember it yeah and this is the one that looks like the dog i was yeah lauren i sent that picture to my family that looks identical to what that's so funny the dog that i sent us a picture on monday english setter oh do they get back to you and say i forgot to ask i'm walking him again tomorrow though ask i might be a little well and it might be a little well and setter lauren is still walking dogs in the middle of work day yeah i don't i get my work

done i don't i don't really know how i feel about it because it's like why why does it affect you it doesn't affect me it doesn't affect me yeah but don't you aren't you happy that i'm grinding and hustling yeah yeah i mean oh i forgot we talked about this on the last episode maybe if they paid her enough yeah you're welcome you can clip that yeah did you see that ceo that made it he made it uh everyone shot for a guy he got shot for a guy wait what oh that's what you're Oh, he hadn't heard. No spoilers. That's my health insurer, dude.

This is personal. I'm sorry. Go ahead. CEO guy. Oh. The CEO of a company took like a million dollar pay cut and made, he now makes $70,000 and everyone, the least you can make at their company is $70,000.

Gravity payments. And then they bought his, they bought him a Tesla. the people like his employees oh that's weird we did like a case study on that when i was in the business school what was it that company yeah you were in business school yeah i dropped out i hated it was that before uh poly yeah i was business major and then a spanish major and then you were a spanish major yeah do you want to be like a spanish teacher no i was just really good at it so i it was like easy so i was gonna do it as like a second major but then right it was kind of an there was a point where i was the i was one of i think the only triple major at boston college

i was like i knew i was gonna quit the business but i couldn't do it yet or something so at one point i was i had to apply to be a triple major and the lady was like all right we're gonna allow it like see how you do so i was business spanish and poli sci but then i quit poli sci or business in spanish and then i suppose i was i was whatever the opposite of a triple major as a half major i was a half major i i was a private i am a minor i i don't think i declared my major until well you couldn't declare it until sophomore year but i don't think i declared mine until like junior year interesting i was also undecided as long as possible i had no idea that wasn't like an option like you had to because you had to apply

into the school at bc yeah rollins was liberal arts yeah i know a girl that is a fifth year undecided but she's that she should probably make up her mind she's playing sports at like a big 10 school okay that makes sense but like this is her second school is it livy dunn like just pick just pick one just pick something no but it's like how what are you doing at school yeah yeah it is i just remember i was in business school and then we had like a we had like a business ethics class and it was like it was like one of the first classes i ever took and that was when i was already like because it was like right it was like all right on one hand you could do what's good for the employees right or another line of thinking is you fuck

everyone over and maximize profits and like i was like i don't we took like an hr class i think i've told you this before we took an hr class and that was when i realized like i think this whole business thing is like kind of a yeah kind of an interesting uh major where there was just like legitimate common sense like don't no don't grow up employees try not to grow up them if you grow up them please give them big severance when you fire them if you grow up them if you grow We hope this never comes into play. But if you do, our belief here at the school

is that we prepare you for any situation. Why is the school German? Is it Indian? Oh, okay. I need to work on my German accent, apparently. We, uh, yeah. I gotta rewrite. We have a Thanksgiving play we do every year.

On Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving? Christmas? Nope. we have a thanksgiving play we do every year who's we your family like you know that picture of us all lined up with the like funny hats on that was like us taking our bow after our performance to no one no to like so the aunts and uncles and whoever's there for thanksgiving oh nice just your immediate family uh we tend to be the actors yeah so there's been there's

been alternate casting you know year to year changes it's like there's like squanto and miles standish and oh it's the story of thanksgiving it's about the first thanksgiving right is it do you guys do it historically accurate uh definitely not no laura's like scalping your mom no it's there's some there's some funny jokes uh one of the classics is put your put your faith in providence my dear and then my sister goes isn't that going to be the capital of rhode island it's great anyway uh there's we're gonna have to rewrite it before next year because there's a few characters that have aged kind of poorly there's like an indian character for some reason like it was kind of a play on like the mix-up between native americans

and uh he was like but i feel like we're sending my brother to slaughter every year when we like we had my aunt's like fam like friends over this year it's like this this really sweet older couple and then my brother's doing his, like, Indian accent. We're like, yeah, I think we got to cut. I don't even want to say what his name is. No, so we got to. What's his name? Jug Dish.

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let your morning change you discover coffee plus on espresso.com so we gotta cut him so we got we have some work to do on the it's just it's just not worth it like it's not funny enough of a joke to yeah it's um i mean the story itself is funny enough that you can yeah we can rework you can rework we can add we can punch it up you know i mean if you talked about how pocahontas was like 11 and john smith was like 35 that's not thanksgiving they were in like virginia or some shit i think pocahontas yeah lauren google if pocahontas had anything to do with thanksgiving but google where pocahontas is from but where was thanksgiving plymouth yeah also why were the pilgrims the only ones that dressed like that back then did they

they have like their own fashion no i think that like like wait where was she from where i think dutch puritans where where a local virginia jesus no she got an address how they got an address her coordinates her address is 3501 jerry hill road oh he stalks pocahontas james the drone striker if we wanted to yes nick near jamestown yeah um google how old was pocahontas when she was with john smith oh yeah what yeah she was 11. john smith was 27 that would be like that would be like if i was dating a six-year-old wait but why is this saying here that they also platonic relationship oh they had a platonic relationship is that uh i think they're probably probably rewriting history to save my boy why are

you maybe you're the freak for thinking that they had to bang no i think it was a known thing where oh they just did that they just two two 27 year olds like took her out on the river what are you assuming that yeah wait why would your assumption be that i think it's like a known thing that they like were like they like assaulted her like they weren't like good guys i'm not saying i'm not saying what it says though i think that that's go to the national that's what i learned at least yeah look at that wait go back up to that guy's face and tell me tell me he's keeping his hands to himself on the road put that guy's picture right here 11 years

old yeah i'm not saying it's right i'm just saying they were i'm pretty sure they were like really fucking bad guys put that picture of john smith right here and tell me if you're a listener at home you think i don't i i don't know man google did john well it is clear that smith developed a respect and admiration for pocahontas during her visits the nature of the relationship was not romantic as she was still a child when smith permanently devoted but they're just they're saying it's not romantic because she was a child but like he he was a bad guy i'm 90 i'm 99% sure that in a like accredited history class i learned that they were bad to her yeah i don't know i mean this is a government website they probably want to this is a dot gov website they're probably

trying to well why it wasn't the government that did it keep the good american name alive i don't know you know christopher columbus seems like you got a weird type of history what seems like you got a warped history of this no i like i definitely learned that yeah i don't know i don't really know anything about it honestly what were you gonna say i remember christopher columbus oh yeah didn't wasn't there wasn't there a guy that found it before christopher columbus like another explorer i think like the vikings were here like long before columbus ponce de leon no i think he went to like florida do you ever hear about do you ever hear about the uh the viking king that like the viking the viking that wouldn't kiss um like king henry

the simple's foot or something and his boy did you hear this no no i get i man is that recently it was in like the 800s but um people at home can correct me i obviously don't have all the details off the top of my head but apparently they were at war like the french and the vikings instead of the french king it was like something this simple was gonna grant this viking this viking yeah the some lands in france and like i think his daughter's hand in like marriage that's like a piece okay all they had to do was kiss the king's foot to like seal the deal okay the viking refused oh shit

everyone was like oh my god this deal is going to fall through and one of the vikings boys dove on the foot and kissed it to seal the deal and that works? I guess I think it was such a grand gesture that they were just like alright

so if I kiss your foot I can have your hand in marriage? you can have my sisters, or my daughters and you can have land you can have estates i want your land you can have my land i want my land do you guys oh never mind what no there's just like a whole new rizzler song that came out but it's like an ad i realized halfway through what is it how does it go it's like i'm shopping for these toys on a christmas time

or something i don't remember the words or something um did you see him trying to pronounce those words no he tried to pronounce words oh he has to stop doing it it was i'll slack this video oh i did see it yeah no no i saw it we shouldn't we shouldn't we shouldn't i feel like we watch him in okay but i know explain it to the people at home i think it's i think it's you know they had to like pull them out of school because gourmet they're like too famous yeah for school now is this the rizzler yeah i don't think i don't think his homeschool education is cutting it dude i think he's just like he's like six seven is he really yeah i thought he was like like fucking 13 no the rizzler eight the three foot three foot 11 sensation yeah um oh did you see people are

saying that we have to name lauren's bunny what's her bunny my bunny oh is that his name no wait what do you say um what about is it well it's is it boy or girl girl tots girl tits tits nope nipples french um french penelope italian penelope oscar no randy randy penny randy randy randy her name is randy randy randy actually what about brandy oh did you know the song brandy late you know the song uh brandy you're a fine girl no you know what i'm saying brandy play brandy or we can't because of copyright reasons it's like brandy what wait why do i not know the you got this brandy cord new cord just dropped

it's whatever it's you guys all know brandy you're a fine girl and nope anyway why it was he wrote it about a girl named randy but he thought that he thought that it didn't sound feminine enough so he changed it to brandy now it's like one of the most famous songs of all time he thought randy didn't something he thought he there was this girl that he knew named randy and he was like that's not a hit song name so he changed it to brad got it yeah i've always wondered like writing like all like the great love songs you know yeah and it's like about like if they had like a shitty name i wish that i was oh wait that's about a boy wait i wish that i was jesse's girl wait what was wait what is that is the lyric no i wish that i was jesse's

girl oh i wish that i had yeah oh okay well that one doesn't apply then um stacy's mom okay yeah gertrude's mom has got it going grimble's mom has got yeah there we go as you all know by now we've teamed up with bet mgm this season we'll be using bet mgm lines to make all our picks and we'll have special offers for our listeners each week if you haven't signed up for bet mgm yet use bonus code playdate and you will get up to a $1,500 first bet offer on your first wager with bet mgm here's how it works download the bet mgm app and sign up using bonus code PLAYDATE. Deposit at least $10 and place your first wager on any game. You will receive up to $1,500 in bonus bets. If your bet loses, just make sure you use bonus code PLAYDATE when

you sign up. Disclaimer, see betmgm.com for terms. 21 plus only. U.S. promotional offers not available in New York, Nevada, Ontario, or Puerto Rico. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. Available in the U.S. Call 877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY 467-369 in New York. Call 1-800-NEXT-STEP in Arizona. 1-800-327-5050 in Massachusetts. 1-800-BETS-OFF in Iowa. 1-800-981-0023 in Puerto Rico. First bet offer for new customers only. Subject to eligibility requirements. Rewards are non-withdrawable bonus bets that expire in seven days in partnership with Kansas Crossing casino and hotel don't forget if you haven't signed up for bet mgm yet use bonus code play date and get your 1500 first bet offer today want to take a moment to talk about a new sponsor of

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and maybe this isn't you know how you want to enjoy them i don't pop it i just suckle on it okay suckle on it i like to know that it's there if i need it but i don't always pop it and i just like the mint flavor i have one in the morning i do my business i have one at night and i will tell you you know what i pop one in when i have a beer god forbid there's there's literally nothing better no crime um give lucy a shot today by going to lucy.co slash friday and use promo code friday for 20 off your first order again that's lucy.co slash friday and use promo code friday to save 20 on your first order warning this product contains nicotine nicotine is an addictive chemical um how hot do you think stacy's mom was unbelievable dude to write a whole song about it

yeah i've never seen someone's mom and been like i need to hit the two i need to hit the keys somebody give me my stanza I agree to disagree did you have any friends with really hot moms no Lauren is your mom hot she's I mean

she's beautiful I wouldn't call her hot you have a crush on my mom no she's single though so it's fine oh your mom my mom is very pretty um there was yeah i think so as far as i know not for long when i was oh i hope she doesn't listen i don't think so oh thank god um when

when i was a kid there was this group of brothers that had a really hot mom and they would they were a black family there was this group of brothers no there's this group of brothers that had a really hot mom and it wasn't fun anymore because they would talk about how hot she was yeah that's never good and so it like ruined all the fun where it was like it's not fun if you think it too yeah yeah yeah they're yeah i agree it's kind of weird if you think it too yeah i guess i never really thought about that angle that's the worst part oedipus right something like that yeah you love talking about oedipus it's i think it's freud

it's oedipus bro google did freud think his mom was hot oedipus fucked his mom i know but freud was the one that no i'm just saying i said lauren my boy sealed the deal i want to know what this Your boy talked about it, my boy sealed the motherfucking deal That's fair Some guys talk about it, some guys be about it Freud talked about it Said Oedipus be about it Google, did Freud think his mom was hot

I just think it's so strange That like He came out with this theory Yeah, and he said everyone thinks Gay Wait, why does it tell me gay? It says gay in all caps. I think this is the author, the writer.

Oh, the author of the article? Oh, that's funny. Okay, got it. Gay. Yeah, he was like, everyone wants to fuck their mom. And it was just like, bro, that might be a you thing. Yeah, everyone was just like, whoa, don't bring us into this, man. Oh, that's a funny Reddit thread.

It said, maybe Freud's mom was really hot. Dude, hey, by the way, we haven't talked about it. How about these hats? oh yeah new hat uh it only took us we thought of this hat 11 months ago and it wasn't really that long ago it lit it's i think it's been over a year yeah and you know we we got it right but honestly it's not even worth i wish it was it's worth it now we got it right this hat should this hat should have been out it's a fucking great yeah you can't say that it wasn't you take your thing out of it yeah uh we we saw a guy in nashville oh yeah wearing one wearing one we

hadn't even gotten our hands on one yet we were like oh my god where'd you get that i ordered it it came immediately it's so cool and so i was like can i feel it he's like yeah we were doing like r and d on it like on his head um yeah i really like the quality of it i think it's great quality i don't for the record i think uh all of the merch is good quality but i think that we have we have gone above and beyond in finding like blanks that we really like yeah it's better quality than the other stuff it is better quality than other stuff so oh i guess you shouldn't say that we can say we can say because i think it's i think it costs a little bit more than the other hats we go we go above and beyond so if you you know if you buy something else just know that

the playdate stuff we put a little bit more thought into the blank a little bit more love a little bit more gusto a little bit more gusto i'm very excited about these they're this i've never totally had a hat exactly like this but it's perfect wait i kept my thing in it oh it felt weird when i took it out oh it like flattened too much maybe my head isn't big enough i don't know my head might be too big i haven't looked at myself you're definitely not supposed to keep any list anyone who's listening and thinking about purchasing a hat please take the insert i don't know why lauren would do that i'm so excited about these though yeah this is a hat i've wanted to do for ever since before the podcast even existed oh really yeah i just like

the idea like i think that line is funny like on like your report card and stuff it is a will yeah um all right should we get into the or should we get into the guessing oh guessing our number 68 i got this ready oh yeah freaking um there's a guy in the panthers and there's a guy in the sharks uh brent burns 88 okay um joe thornton yeah that's fuck that's what i meant okay he's 19 oh really yeah oh wait wait go back to go to all just hit all

he has worn multiple numbers never that oh no those aren't no I can get one I can get one Martin Short Joe Alt Martin Short age

jeez Martin you look great show me Joe Alt number show me show me um didn't like blake griffin wear 68 on the celtics because they like ran out of like or no you wore 91 no no that's bizarre the celtics have retired too many we need to like unretire george clooney uh uh bob saget age orange looked at me like i said something else well he's dead is that why yeah yeah yeah well how old was he i thought you were joking no

how old was he i don't know i don't know why i'm even is that what jason kelsey 65 when he died you think he's oh no not age yeah he is 62 i'm over this i'm over this no i'm gonna get ready i'm just gonna hit one home run and we'll walk out on top a swing a slow a little bit of wrong and it show me show me people like this segment um yeah oh who's that guy i'm thinking of there's like a i'm just trying to think of offensive lineman george lopez age oh man 63 jeez wait what zach martin did i already try this fuck fuck um dj fluker what dj fluker

oh 69 uh oh oh um bj or bj raji i think it was d-line can they wear that too on the d-line or no no fuck who is the guy from who's the guy from last chance you that played on the raiders i don't know google last chance show them last chance you guy ollie ollie williams i think look up like ollie ollie what no i'm just laughing look up ollie will oh give family guy what happened uh i wasn't even on purpose google ollie no i i saw no no what happened that wasn't on purpose google ollie last chance you oh man fuck ollie williams was a family guy on accident wait that's a guy from family 63 ollie williams hey how's the weather out there ollie it go right you i want to get it's raining sideways a 68 year old robert de niro no he's like

he's way too old i don't know this fucking this game fucking sucks meryl streep i'm over it i'm over it i'm over it i'm over it all right this is the last one oh we do that every episode we're like she looks great do we um yeah all right we have a fantastic episode for you guys today lauren how long we've been going 40 minutes okay but that's that's fine yeah we are we need to start we need to get back to the the hour chats before the roadmap that's that's what i know that's it wait i gotta look up who's at number 60 i just have to find one now i'm sorry okay okay here we go currently no tom hanks brian cranston larry bird mel gibson eric roberts larry bird looks crazy joe montana offense all right we have a lovely episode for you guys today we're going

to do your pitches followed by our pitches lauren do we have any aita no i told you don't wait can you just redo that oh oh lauren lauren was too focused on all her dog walking all right richie incognito actually no i was focused on our episode that we did two days ago um wait that's when we normally record no i know but not like richie incognito episode we're recording again like rich richie incognito episode yeah but the episode came out already yeah what what is the problem i don't know i thought he you're like having a big freak out that i don't have am i the asshole we're not having a big freak out we're just saying oh we don't have forgotten stuff i mean i can look for it now but that's

fine i'll just i'll give you an am i the asshole yeah oh yeah i got one as well all right am i the asshole for having a second job and it's making my real one worse boom roasted me 20 me 29 f 29 wait you're not 29 how old are you Larry you guys know how old I am we've talked about this when's your 30th

in 2030 alright we're gonna do your pitches followed by our pitches then we're gonna do everyone's favorite segment teach me something followed by this guy rocks and then I have a new segment that I haven't told either of you guys about

And it's just going to be really quick We're going to do it every week It's called Rusty's Would You Rather Oh I like that And then we're going to do Names for Your Grandparents That Don't Exist And then Harry Potter Spells and Potions That Don't Exist Very good I also want to say I have two pitches

So maybe that'll help fill some time Okay so I pitched my pitch to my girlfriend last night And she told me it already exists Is that the hard launch of the G word? Yeah you never said girlfriend uh yeah it's like my lady my lady yay so um so i might have to take one yeah don't worry about that but i also don't for the record she said it exists i don't believe her oh she said it exists okay the clit am i right

okay all right bleep that bleep all of that bleep all of that no i'm keeping that in no you can't use the force wait can you bleep can you bleep that so it's still like in and people can so it's bleep alright and what you guys are going to comment

this week is what you think happened in that what you think I said in that bleep great no don't comment that that'll get our account banned what if everyone's Commenting the F word? Well, like, crazy words and stuff. We don't want the comment.

For the record, there were no... There's a nine-year-old that listens to this podcast. Someone commented today. Lauren's nine-year-old daughter listens to this like she had when she was 20. Don't... Wait. Don't leak that.

Oh, sorry. Lauren has a nine-year-old... Lauren has a nine-year-old Crowder. Crowder. An otter. We should get an otter on the pod. Lauren's dating Steven Crowder. Lauren's dating Steven Crowder.

There it is. Fine. We said it. Here's that. Changed my mind. Change my mind. Because you're not doing your womanly duties. Grummanly doobies.

All right. Hand up. Do you guys have any grummanly doobies? Hand up. I missed. I am hankering for a grummanly doobie. All right. Get.

Go. Go. All right. Go. Okay. First. I feel like I'm losing my mind a little bit. Yeah, me too a little bit.

Every day it gets worse. Okay. First pitch is from Isaac Anslinger. Go, go. Isaac says, what's good, Lauren, Batman, and Robin? Are you ever watching sports and get super frustrated by the coaches of your team for calling a bad play, benching your favorite player, or not throwing the challenge flag? Yes.

Introducing NCAA Coaching Credits. This is an app that awards you points for being a loyal fan. You earn points by watching at home, when at the game in person, or buying your team's swag. once you stack up enough points you can exchange them in the app and have the opportunity to call your own play for your team bench a player even with enough points to be able to go on the field yourself next kickoff or kick return yep join me in giving fans more influence within the teams they love yep i love it that uh that that is goaded first of all i do believe there's a

the fcfs our co-worker johnny manziel i think start help start the fan controlled football oh yeah it's like that's like kind of what that was like there's like four plays and you can like all the fans vote on an app and that decides what play gets called next oh which is insanity but i agree i would like to yeah there's a few things i would do i would throw i would i would watch all of my rival team's games that whole year and then just constantly throw challenge flags and call timeouts during inopportune moments against the team i actually want to win it's pretty fun which would be really fun. Like, I'd call, like,

a huge, crazy timeout. Yeah, well, I think you'd, at the beginning of the year, you'd have to pick your favorite team. Yeah, and I would just pick, like, the team, our biggest rival that year.

Yeah. Like, if it was Ohio State, I'd just, like, pick Michigan at the beginning of the year, watch all of their games, and then call a timeout to give us the ball back to win or something.

It'd be genius. I'm genius. It'd be genius. I'm a genius. I'm a species. i'ma order class and follow them what you thinking i think i'm gonna get chipotle for lunch cool you know you are you already said this yeah i just wanted to announce it because you were just talking about how much you love all right ready stop me when i was i talking about stop me when

i get it wrong you were like mexicans probably monday it's wednesday yeah on the pod we were talking about uh food that would be most eaten and you're like probably mexican because of chipotle alone all right ready good stop me when i get it wrong white rice yep black beans chicken mild but chicken i do half chicken half barbacoa oh what okay i'll take that i get half credit okay mild salsa like pico the corn salsa swinging for the fences here lettuce guac fuck cheese that that was mine you forgot sour cream oh you're right and that was my exact order minus the lettuce that's my exact order that's i know we have the same order but you get lettuce

i love lettuce yeah do you get sour cream right on the side do you get sour cream i get i load it on sour cream that's my favorite have you not had the vinaigrette i've never had vinaigrette on like oh i've had no i've dipped the case but it's not good no it's so good it's not okay i thought it was okay or it sounds okay i've never had it there was a there was a like month period where two times in a row i ordered chipotle and i obviously didn't check sour cream because i don't like sour cream and it showed up with the most sour cream i've ever seen and it wasn't even like i said like no sour cream and they got confused yeah it was just not on there and then there was a person on twitter who i saw at the exact same thing they they they complained and

it like their note to chipotle was it feels like someone's pranking me maybe they're trying to challenge you to live outside i love sour i just i don't it scares me why is it called why is it sour it's not sour no i know but why did they call it that because it used to be sour like i never got into it as a kid which i think when when you need to get into sour cream because it sounded scary yeah but it's they just milk sour cows it's not it's like airhead extreme cream yeah Extreme cream? Extreme. I gave her that extreme cream.

That's what they call me in high school. All right, should we get another pitch? Yeah. Can I actually run to the restroom? I'm super hungry. Yeah. Want to tell Lauren someone died when she was picked? Okay.

Where were we? Sorry to put more lip gloss on. Oh, you look stunning. Thanks. All right. Next pitch. Next pitch. all right thank you isaac this next one is from harry he says hey lauren and the monster munch

bunch new business idea coming at you from across the pond what is the worst thing about listening to music in the winter um like it doesn't the the vibe of like tropical music doesn't really feel yeah you have to listen to phoebe bridger yeah it doesn't match up you have to listen to sad stuff he says that's right willie you naughty little munchkin what sorry come on it's your ears bless me bless you hey nobody blessed me the other day yeah i'm the star lauren that's yeah that's right i'm kidding i'm sorry i mean that's right willie you naughty little munchkin it's your ears getting cold as you have your headphones on outside how in the f are you are we expected to listen to the playdate podcast or music to have a playdate to when it's oh so chilly out introducing fluffy

muffs a new attachment to add to your headphones that turns them into earmuffs now rusty's delicate little angel ears will be protected in those icy festive months and hey i know what you're thinking lauren what about airpods well don't you worry we have a pair of earmuffs with an airpod slot coming right at you patent pending anyway that's all from me now hope you guys invest peace out players keep it frosty that's beautifully written i will take it i'll take it i don't i actually don't want to clap oh why do we okay you take your step and then i'll i'll take a step even further you know i wear i wear these ones right and what's fun about these is the like these things come off what apple should start doing is making these ones furry

making furry magnet parts for these so that they double as earmuffs. There has to be like third party brands that make something like that I'm sure. Alright who wants to hear my pitch that Wait I didn't even get to answer. That's another thing he does. Yeah. Sorry

I would just like move on Alright I said my piece I will move on to my next piece and then following that will be my third piece I don't think that what are you talking about? If they're earbuds then you can just wear regular earmuffs on top of them and if they're that kind of headphones that already is covering

your ear what are we talking about here i literally don't even get this at all this makes absolutely no sense wait i thought he was saying they're like he said earbuds right okay the airpod thing does throw me off or airpod because he says what about earmuffs with a with a airpod attachment don't you worry you can just put regular earmuffs over your airpods yeah that You don't get it. You don't see the vision. That part is kind of goofy. You guys don't see the fucking vision. I don't see the vision at all. I'm out.

And for that reason, I'm out. Dun-dun. You want to do yours now? No, you go. Dun-dun. I gotta pull it up, sorry. Sorry, I didn't mean to attack you. Alright, what's the worst part

about making pasta? Fidel Castro just died. No way. That probably means nothing to us, right? I don't know. He wasn't a big part of my fucking life. Wait, I thought he's been dead. Fidel Castro?

Are you joking? I don't know. The leader of Cuba. Who do you think has been the dictator of Cuba this whole time? Like, someone else. Where you thought there was, like, a new guy that we hadn't heard about yet? Oh, my God. Shut up.

Yeah. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like Coffee Plus B12 to help support immune function and Coffee Plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose Ginseng Delight, our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com. You got castrated. Get castrated.

You got castrated. Dang, get castrated. you guys can't do that with history stuff because like i'm well the funny one about this is you i think the mics are hot and everything everything's rolling for it but when you were in the other room we're like should we should we tell her someone died when she gets back so you can include that and then um but i do have i have two pitches so i'll go first and then you can wait what's the worst part about pasta oh you asked that already no dude who's asking that no it's yours isn't about pasta it's your turn okay all right uh all right here's my pitch uh bowling desk

i hate it for pooping bowling desk for pooping oh i can already picture it i'm excited because you don't want people to recognize your shoes when you're laying down a cosmic turd that is not what i thought you were so you go it's a little desk at the front of the bathroom if you're taking a poop you go up and like 10 and a half gives you a pair of shoes they're all the same pop them on you go into the stall if people look they have no idea who it is oh that's fantastic yeah um i had that same i will i'll tell you what i thought bowling desk for pooping was in a second you're gonna love it but um i had that problem yesterday at the airport yep because i was like i'm about to drop a nuclear

rat in here and i'm wearing very like recognizable shoes and these ones no i was wearing my big uggs And then I also have a, I have like a suitcase that everyone else has and the suitcase was there. And I was like, the guy next to me is going to know that I was, nobody knows you at the airport. There's no freak about this shit. No, we're in the, we were in the, the sky lounge together and it was very small. So it was like, I'm going to walk out into this room and sit next to this guy who just

heard me like explode, like paint. Who cares? It was so loud. It's a random guy. I know, but I don't want to have to look at him after. I've never thought about this. That's fucking. Well, now this is interesting because your pitch is completely contradictory to you.

Oh, I wouldn't use it, but I know that there's freaks like him that exist. That isn't relevant to me either. Can I tell you what I thought bowling desk for pooping was? Yeah. So you're like, you sit down on the toilet and there's like a little table that like slides over your legs and there are like mini bowling lanes and it's like a game that you play while you're pooping where you're like flinging like a little ball it would be fun it'd be awesome it's kind of like that there's like that golf thing like that people have around

their toilet have you seen that there's like you can get like a putt putt thing that goes around your toilet and yeah that's fun putt on it's like a poop putt or something all right i'm down for both we'll do both bowling desks for poopings all right your pitch um what is the worst part about making pasta okay it is about you fucking liar uh i've never wait like like hand making pasta or just like boiling pasta boiling dried pasta it's the when you stick your hand in the water to pull it out it always burns just the boiling part not the mixing the sauce in part it's that you have to you have to take it from the pot put it in a strainer let it strain put it back in the pot it's like the whole fucking it's like a whole shebang yeah

i always feel like the sink is like dirty and like so i have to like balance it like on the whatever this is a pot that you boil the pasta in and it has clamps on the handles and you pull the clamps and holes appear in the pot all the water goes and you let it go and it closes back up and turn into a pot that feels wait is that the thing that's sorry bleep my girlfriend's name sorry pot cylinder okay well colander not cylinder okay thank you pot that turns it just like a pot that turns into strained strainer yeah this isn't what i'm this isn't what i'm oh no no there it is there it is i know but this

isn't what i am that go on yeah yeah no that's not what i'm not that oh this is cool though yeah but see these are still two separate you're right these are still two separate things you have to take the strain out it's a whole fucking shebang this is clamps and you go and it like slides it out like slides it out there are holes in the bottom or on the sides or whatever all the water leaves and then you're fucking good to go dude you're golden you're cooking pasta yeah that okay so that happened to me that happened dude you would be because the the handles are balanced so like see how he's holding the handle like that if you pour the pasta into quickly the bowl will go like this and dump all the pasta we just have one that has like a like stuff that you said it

agrees most people in my defense i've never used a strainer before when i was in college i was making mac and cheese it was my last box of mac and cheese yeah and i did that exact same thing and it all went in the sink and i literally like fell to my knees the last it was the last like box of food i had in the world i'm confused like because you can't aim properly and like poured into the bowl the the strainer is on a handle and the bowl like swivels like this and he poured the pasta in too fast and the bowl flipped and dumped the pasta into the sink well that's just dumb it's dumb to have a strainer that's like on like a yeah like hold the strainer or put the strainer on your you don't you don't understand i just

think it's silly it's silly it's a bad design it's not the guy's fault correct yeah i think it is the guy's fault well it's both it's both if you i'm so mad that you've spoken like a guy who's i've done it but no it's because i've made that mistake it's a it is an unbelievably easy mistake to make all right um all right should we do aim for the strainer next time where's my phone right there should we do what do you want to do next uh should we do teach me something or this guy rocks let's do wait i have another oh you have another pitch pitch this is a surface a ring it could be a little sky regular size guy it could even be a huge guy i don't care services you text a number it's like like 9-1-1 but not that like

fortree 6-1-1 no i think that's for digging digging yeah what do you mean dig it there's a number there's like one of those not a version 9-1-1 for digging uh wait what okay google 311 what is digging general customer service google three general customer service is great hello three on one three on one wait general customer service not emergency that's a non-emergency what wait what are you talking what do you mean for dig like to know if you can dig somewhere one of the numbers yeah like general customer service google phone number for digging it's gonna be so dumb no i'm serious 8-1-1 8-1-1 the phone number for digging is 8-1-1 if you want to dig somewhere you call 8-1-1 they tell if you're allowed to

why wouldn't you just ask for forgiveness later because if you hit like a fucking electrical line or like a water you can't dig anywhere i don't think you can dig in public you can dig in your yard though and like sometimes there's like i can do whatever i want in my yard i don't have to call Yeah, but you want to know if you're going to hit a fucking water line. How would they know? They'd be like, where are you standing in your yard? Yeah, they GPS you, dude. Yeah, you can dig there.

Let's call them. You should do 421. Call 811 and see if you can dig. I don't believe this is a real number. See if you can dig here. Yeah. There's a treasure box. Call a few days before you plan to dig.

you have dialed 8-1-1 and reached underground service alert of southern california dig alert southern california's 8-1-1 notification center for anyone planning to dig within the next 14 calendar days funny that this is real trying to reach 9-1-1 hang up and dial again your call will be recorded imagine you're like you're getting like A hostage, and you accidentally call 8-1-1. Orange, Los Angeles. All right, what are you going to say? I'm going to say, can I dig here?

Ventura, Santa Barbara, Imperial, San Diego, or Inyo, please stay on the line. If you are digging in a different California county, please hang up the call. This is fucking stupid. That's insane that number exists. Yeah, it's for digging. When did you have to call that? During the Treasury Hunt? Yeah.

Can I dig here? And they were like no And I was like okay I did it anyway And then I got fucking We almost got killed dude Yeah and I think I told that story We were digging on this public property That we definitely weren't allowed to dig at

And someone drove by And started like Hey what the fuck are y'all doing And like pulled over And we like freaked out and just took off running Who was he? I don't know Sometimes I wonder

Maybe he's another hunter But he probably was like, these kids are up to no good. What was your other, what was your pitch again? You wanted a number for the service. Oh, yeah. So this would be 7-1-1 maybe. Or maybe honestly we replace the digging. It's when you're in bed and you forgot to brush your teeth.

You call this number and they come and they brush your teeth in bed. And you're just like into a cup and then they leave. That's good. Yeah. Or maybe it's the same number and it's just like, thanks for calling 8-1-1. is this for press one for digging press two for in bed toothbrush i love it i love it do you dig it i dig it we want to take a second to tell you about our brand new sponsor twisted tea twisted tea is refreshing delicious and tastes like real iced tea because it's made with real brewed tea

this is a big sponsor for us this is a milestone for us for sure we've been drinking twee for a long time we've been we've been twee heads for for longer than i'd care to admit yeah um and i will tell you if you haven't had them a lot of people think they just have like one flavor i discovered this in college they have like arnold palmer ones those are the half and half ones they have raspberry i think they have peach i'm more of just a half and half in the regular guy yep but the world's kind of your oyster absolutely get the 12 pack variety pack yep dude this reminds me of in college we used to play national treasure 2 book of twee crits yep we watched national treasure 2 and every time there was a clue we would drink a twee

it was the best day of my life that's awesome i want to do it again can i paint you a little word picture real quick will word pick close your eyes done it's it's 1 p.m correct it's a saturday you're on the beach ah ah sand okay sorry i'm ready your friend opens the cooler and there are 30 tweets for the for the 10 of you to share how awesome is that that's awesome doesn't that sound like a blast yeah i'm in okay i feel like maybe my math didn't check out there but no that's good okay ah guys i'm still in the guys twisted tea is not only sponsoring play date but they are also sponsoring the almost friday holiday party i'm most excited about hanging out with my co-workers and drinking some tweeze and uh gossiping and you know maybe embarrassing shark

shark oh can i can i stop imagining yeah oh thank god guys twisted tea is best enjoyed when enjoyed together so remember to pick up some for your holiday party or next gathering twisted tea is refreshing delicious and tastes like real iced tea because it's made with real brewed tea so go pick some up today do you guys want to do teach me something or this guy rocks teach me something oh three-way a three-way a three we had a three-way we had a three-way we the title we had a three-way first ever three-way dude the first guys to do that were probably like whoa what the hell is going on we are on to something all right um you go are you guys familiar with calico jack calico jeans nope calico cut jeans you gotta give um calico jack was he was the pirate

that came up with the skull and crossbones flag oh and like popularized that marketing uh yeah really good marketing and the reason he got captured is because his crew was too drunk to fight oh so the british the british boarded this ship and all the boys were hammered and couldn't fight and so they just were like wow this is so easy that's so took calico jack oh that's a bummer they're funny he's your drug too i don't know oh wow he was hot he was really handsome apparently yes wanted for piracy and the famous john rackham rackham it's a good beer pong name yeah it's a really good beer pong name wow is your lady gonna come to the christmas party no she'll be in london oh you know i love a london boy

will you're gonna bring anyone probably i'm gonna bring ty i think oh yeah um are you coming yeah i'm doing a roast oh yeah wait are you gonna do awards again yeah i'm so excited did i get one i'm a little nervous uh yeah you got one last year uber passenger of the year oh yeah a pants and uber driver yeah yeah i brought it up last night and i felt like there was like sort of a deafening so i almost asked in the when also what was that flyer that edge said in the thing it's me loller yeah that's all type lupica and flag yeah that i almost felt like i love those three people but like that almost felt like because it was clearly like a joke to put the the four of us as a thing so i was like wait am i the butt of the i think it was just each department maybe

i don't know they sent out like a flyer for a company holiday party and it was the foremost random employees of all time as like the faces of it for some reason also is there no dinner this year i don't know it just says snacks and it's from six to ten or something yeah i don't know i think probably this fucking budget bullshit we had like a cool house and like a sick dinner last year this year we have a i know we have our office and oh it's here yeah what the fuck i know we're cooked i know dude i mean i i love i love motz a lot but he is too responsible for yeah it's so annoying freaking woke over here what happened to irrational spending and crazy trips and tell tell them about what uh didn't you you got 250 dollars for of gambling money for every hour of

let's meet people you did oh yeah when we were in vegas they were like if you do man on the street interviews for an hour you can expense 250 worth of gambling losses so of course i was like i'm not doing fucking man on the street but then i was kept losing money and i was like well worst case scenario so i ended up down 750 so i just had to go out for three hours and do man on the street interviews but we were joking about like like it like you know like bruno mars like had to perform like for 10 years because he was in debt to mgm yeah you read that like oh headline or vaguely he like lost a bunch of money gambling i guess so like he's had to do a residency there for like 15 years i think it's all no one knows for sure if it's true but like that would be

really funny if i went down like thousands of dollars so now i'm just stuck in vegas for like a week you're like live podcasting yeah i'm just man on the street like going crazy all right teach me something willie teach me something so this is a fun one i was last evening i watched um last evening upon conclusion of our writing for the day me and the fellow team sketchers uh watched harry potter and the philosopher's stone sorcerer's stone well i prefer the original well the philosopher's stone is the british version so right which is the original right which is wrong it doesn't make any sense well it's relevant to this particular teach me something because there's a character in that movie

and his name is Nicolas Flamel. Of course. Real guy. You wait, so what is that again? He's like, they see his name like written somewhere or something like what? I forget. I was kind of in and out of the movie.

I was like really sleepy, but then I was like. Hermione's like, Nicolas Flamel. He's the guy who invented, who created the Philosopher's Stone. Right, right. Or the Sorcerer's Stone. to you woke folks uh and i mean it's a better name anyway and then like dumbledore and him decided to destroy it after yeah whatever voldy got his hands on it briefly uh how bad is

voldemort's cgi that yeah he has a nose in it yeah which is like what wait also i was thinking about the first one right yeah i was also watching harry potter yesterday which one uh i was watching deathly hallows it's my least favorite but that's where i'm at oh i like those um do we know why voldemort lost his nose because tom riddle had a nose yeah and he has it in the first one yeah this was so traumatizing as a child i remember this like scarring me wait do you do it does anyone know why can you google why doesn't voldemort have a nose yeah but anyway all right nicholas flamel is based on it's a real guy that okay i'm losing i'm sorry no no i just okay i'm ready i'm ready sorry oh it's the horcruxes um he was a french like guy that was

like not maybe not even an alchemist and like just kind of like a well-off guy normal dude and then like in his after he died people started like some like stories started coming about that he was like this alchemist that had created the philosopher's stone which granted eternal life in real life like the philosopher's stone is a real thing in real life or it's a real like myth and it was all about this guy and he it sounds like he was just a kind of a regular guy and then like this legend built about him after his death and then they incorporated i thought it was interesting that like in harry potter where everything is all made up there's one guy that's like a real guy yeah that's so fascinating that's a good teach me something i

know i was very how did you find that out because i was because i was dozing in and out of watching this movie what i was picking my nose and learning oh i was like sort of dozing in and out and so then at one point i was they said something about nicholas i was like wait i was like who the fuck is that again and so then i googled it and then it was like a wikipedia of a real guy and i was like what the hell um did you know uh this is another harry potter fact i mean in in prisoner of azkaban or look up um look up hundreds of birds swarming harry harry potter guy stirring tea with his finger oh what is this he's stirring coffee so there's this there's this guy in the prisoner of azkaban in the leaky cauldron he's reading a stephen hawking book and he's doing

wandless magic which like fucking vault or like dumbledore can't even do wandless magic and so they're like oh this guy is like this guy might be like the most powerful wizard in the world or like smartest guy isn't that bizarre interesting that's cool he's doing wandless magic like harry can't even do wandless magic they how come they can't wait what was this scene like why were they that it was just an intro into the leaky cauldron the leaky cauldron that's in london it's when harry gets dropped off uh after being on the purple bus and with the shrunken head the guy yeah exactly and then the guy that is like has a hunchback brings him up to talk to um talk to her talk to a podcast all right i'm gonna go to

bed but i'll see you guys in the morning have you heard that no they were like ripping her for doing like a pump and dump scheme she just got on the mic was like all right it's been nice talking to you guys but i'm gonna go to bed and i'll talk to you like all the i don't know people on her own podcast no like twitter analysts you know they can do those like room like chat rooms whatever oh okay got it um all right do you guys want to do this guy rocks yeah this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks so hard rocking hard wow i like that we picked a song okay here you go lauren all right so this is this is this is a grandma they're i think they're at like thanksgiving or

they're just having some sort of dinner and she's doing the prayer okay and it's so funny all right lord i ask you lord in jesus name to just stop my son tory from dragging so much yes just give him a sprinkle he's a good man he's a good child God just help him with his drinking God and Lord just let him stay with his family yes Lord

oh my god my son Tracy with his drinking imagine being her son oh god I'd be like oh gorp alright ready she's speaking her truth I love it

alright who's this I've never seen this video When I went to use the bathroom I realized I didn't have one And someone had DM'd me this today Alright, let's see it Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer He had a very shiny nose

And if you ever saw him You'd even say he closed All of the other reindeers Used to laugh and call him names They never let poor Rudolph Join in any reindeer games Go on, Rudolph god christmas oh that's awesome it's like a soccer chant yeah that'd be fun to do at a game

wait i liked them and if you ever call me what's the top comment nice i like it i love i think british people are so cool yeah they're so cute i don't understand how there are so many different accents they live in their little house it's the size the united kingdom is like the size of fucking new york and they have like more accents than we do yeah yeah uh now we got more like you have that main accent lauren has that midwestern shiz we all have the exact same no lauren says like some things weird what do you say weird lauren my like bag my big yeah my big and you probably say like talk about your house i live in an apartment with uh my friend ty what are you having i have a bed and where's the bed the bed is in my room okay i thought maybe you're gonna

say rum no my cousin's also like rum rum i feel like people from philly have accents wooder like gavin has like a very good delco accent yeah the delco one is his is his is enjoyable to me some of the delco ones make me want to throw away what is freaking freaking water delco accent it's dude i'm drinking dude dude i'm drinking freaking water right am i doing it go to go to youtube i'm going to freaking the freaking birds dude philadelphia well i grew up near here and i always notice that the way they speak is very odd it's now called the delco accent so i will continue to speak to you in delco hi how he's doing ever been to philly before ain't you love it you're not sure who asked you anyway did you get a hoagie yet you know

a hoagie no it's not it's not a sub it's not like subway all right this lady sucked get her off the screen hey it's like didn't you get it yeah a freaking bruh um all right are you guys ready for rusty's would you rather no you have to make it six years accident you have to do its own song what you have to have a different song for it what section are we doing rusty's would you rather? Rusty's would you rather? I feel like I'd be good as one of those guys.

Would you guys rather have to canoe everywhere or always have a lot of honey on your hands? Jalen Bronson. So I can assume that I'm able to canoe everywhere. There's water everywhere.

You can get out and walk, but like like are there rivers there's there's there's this they're like streams that match any road okay oh that sounds great i think i would do the canoe yeah for sure okay there are not streams next to the road so you just can't get anywhere you can walk okay so it's walk everywhere or i'm honey i mean it's probably walking you have a canoe with wheels and you can but you have to like i would i will do that option over the honey hands what about like going from my room to the kitchen you can walk oh you don't have it's just like in place of like a planes trains and

automobiles i would do the walking i could live comfortably only walking i would have a good life still really i don't like cars i mean i would have to talk i'd have to talk to edge about travel i would be like i can't do travel anymore because i lost this dumb game on our podcast but yeah i mean worst case scenario just get a job as like a bartender at the end of my street and i could walk to everywhere yeah but if you had honey on your hands you just wear gloves do you want the honey i don't do you would you do honey on your hand did you come up with this one you must yeah i did the canoeing everywhere one makes no that part makes no sense wait don't wait was that it or that was it every week we just do one oh okay um all right willie you

you have fun names for your grandparents what are some that you called yours oh yes my grandparents all right do it t up t up these are names for grandparents that don't exist all right these are names for grandparents that don't exist shout out to whoever oh yeah shout out to abc parenting for this idea i thought this was really funny i don't want to do it grumpy and momo scrotty and v-vag poopy and clit what that's why i pictured that one being like being like oh y'all gotta meet my poopy and clit like um gropey and nimrod

Ding dong and torch Nipples and skid mark Wallace and grommet Droopy and saggy Grommet And Lumpy and stink sack That's good

Those were Those were grandpa Grandpa Names for grandpa Oh I just can't wait To introduce y'all To my little poopy And clit

They're just cute I was laughing really hard At Scrody and V-Vag I like that Scrody and V-Vag You gotta meet My Scrody and V-Vag Mine are all spells

By the way I thought I didn't see the potions part But that's okay Cool These are Harry Potter spells That don't exist No, Harry Potter spells and potions.

All right, you say it. These are Harry... Harry. All right. These are Harry Potter spells and potions that don't exist. Bathius Occupus. It makes the bathroom appear to be occupied after you leave so no girls walk in and see how stinky your poop was.

I like that. Sicoso. Dries you off immediately so you can get out of the shower and... I like that. Thank you. Cancelus Stinkus. it immediately removes the scent of any poop taken vegasone and it spawns a roulette table that spins a ball so you can settle bets and gamble

with your friends that sounds dangerous uh dranium it instantly drains you of all uh matter like any like poop or pee in your body so you can just drain other people so they don't go in the bathroom after you or you can drain yourself so you can flush it right away before the stink gets everywhere i spent i spent like an hour doing these and i'm so excited about this and will just made them all about poop wait no i you spent an hour doing that i'm joking i was really excited to hear yours and yours are all about poop no they aren't It's just the first three. I like them.

No, I think these are funny and yours are good too. Examinor. And it makes you really good at trivia for an hour. That would be, I would use that one every day. Toiletes replaces. I fucking, I hate you. Wait, these are fun. Well, it's great.

Why do you hate me? Because I wanted to hear what you had. These are what I had. It instantly replaces the toilet with a brand new one. that smells great so you don't have to worry about any lingering smells why is that not good it's great my last one's not even about poop so um the second set of eyes potion and it lets you it lets you see the consequences of any action before doing it okay so you'd like put your head in the water like you'd pour it into that thing that dumbledore has put your

head in it okay let you see how things would pan out if you did it got it that's good genderis swappus so this is one that this is like a monster that got away from uh not a not a monster in our sense of the word but in jk rowling's sense of the word this one allows anyone to change their gender with the with the flick of the flick of the wand And, yeah, suck it, J.K. Rowling. Copleasora gives you the perfect haircut every time. That would be great. Thank you.

I would do that one every day. Me too. New from Nespresso. Blend wellness into your coffee routine with the Coffee Plus range, infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like Coffee Plus B12 to help support immune function and Coffee Plus B6 to keep your day moving.

Or go with the flow and choose Ginseng Delight, our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com. What's wrong? I just wanted to hear his. You did. You just heard five of mine.

I wanted to hear his, and he made them all about fucking poop. He didn't even try I did try I think he did You're insulting me I did try You made him all up Which I thought was funny

It was very funny But now it makes it look like I'm the serious one Serious black You have to put that Fucking fist down It was very funny But I wanted to hear

Your real ones You can always do it again What about gender a swappus? Yeah I like that one because it does it from birth, too, so even her turf ass can't say anything about it. Huh? It does it from birth, too,

so even her turf ass can't say nothing about it. What's turf ass? Like a football injury? Horrible injury. No, that's like her whole thing. She's a turf. Dak Prescott out six weeks with turf ass. Turf ass.

Wait, what is that? Look up turf ass. That's not a thing. Yeah. Why am I looking this up? Look it up. Yeah, turf ass. Oh, nice.

Okay, now look up... Put a picture of someone's ass right here, Lauren. Look up Brian Griffin. No. Almost. I know that dog. He's the dog. He is the dog.

Look up Mort Goldman. Look up Mort Goldman. No, he's like an oldie or something. He's not. You ever been to Aldi? yes i used to shop there i've never shopped there dude it's so cheap it was actually amazing for college i wish they had them out here they do they do i think so yeah i don't think on the west side see if there's an aldi around get family guide again you got family guide oh

get more laurie got goldman you got hogged the closest one is in inglewood Sissy fit that in your Alright whose personality are you guys stealing Um France I like that I like I do understand that Kinda

No no no I'm not stealing France This weekend Are you back this weekend What is that Oh no I was just hearing Are you back this weekend Are you back this weekend yeah i'll probably be back friday evening um we have the place still saturday but i'll probably

come back early um i think since i'm finally in la this weekend i'm stealing lebron's personality king of la you wanna hang out check my schedule i'm kidding yeah let's hang out um when this pod comes out i will be going to florida in a few days spending christmas in keys so i'm very excited about that so i'm gonna steal a oh maybe i want to sue moana's personality i feel you wait where are you on a marathon key where's that florida it's all it's on the keys why are you going just for fun with who my family for christmas when the 20th to the 29th are you gonna get like a tree in your hotel room i don't know we used to get like an inflatable one maybe yeah it's i don't know are you guys

sharing a hotel room i've i've no idea i think we got an airbnb oh nice um that's gonna be very fun yeah i love the keys the keys are lovely yeah i'm janitors be like um i'm gonna steal rilo brown's personality who's that oh from star wars that's kylo ren no no no rilo brown look him up lord um sorry i was i wanted to quiet our co-workers down there's lots of yapping who am i looking up rilo brown get cleveland showed i thought it was rollo rilo no it's it's rilo rilo brown rilo tubs kick cleveland show it's rilo it's rilo i've watched the show hundreds of times it's rilo rilo it's not look it's it says it right there i don't understand rilo i i look it up look at us how to pronounce it i will i'll bet you i'll bet you i'll bet you

right before you look it up lauren i will bet you it will i'll bet you a thousand dollars it's It's Rilo. It's Rolo. Nope. He just says it with his Cleveland accent. It's just like, Rolo. It's Rolo. Okay, but how he says it is Rilo.

Rolo. I'll bet you $4. Sup, man? Yeah, yeah, sup. Keep walking, you boondocks ripoff. It was this exact moment when I knew that the Family Guy writers didn't give a crap about the Cleveland show. Because ever since this episode, almost 10 years ago... I reckon she's British.

Yeah, but she's British. She doesn't speak the same language as us. It's Rilo. It's Rilo. All right. Turn it off. Whatever. She's British.

She doesn't speak English. He says Rilo. Which I can see sounds a little like Rilo, but his name is not Rilo. It's Rilo. It's Rilo. It's Rilo. Next episode that comes out will be our Christmas episode.

episode it's beginning to look a lot like chris and will and i you guys know what happens on the 69th episode yeah everywhere what if it starts let's just bang each other well that's i think we're saving that for the 100th episode we're gonna bang all right gangsters you guys got anything else to talk about hold tight keep your family close and your job close hold it Hold tight Neglect your child Neglect your children for your job and career success Alright and now we're just gonna

We're gonna do like the word association game Until we run out Spanish Rice Taco Mexican Cleveland Browns

Deshawn Watson Beef Cake France Country yeah cowboy horse i can't think of anything geico frogs what frog cat lizard the geico frog it just popped up in my brain all right well i want the game to be over i don't like this

okay we love you guys have a great rest of your week also he said watson and you said beef i don't it just it just popped in my head isn't that there's rules to this oh i thought you're i'll just say whatever comes to mind i think she was playing it right thanks um all right lauren and i gotta go get snacks we also have a meeting and now all right we love you guys have a great rest of your day week and weekend we'll see you guys on wednesday for our christmas episode see you at christmas