Will & Rusty's Playdate - rusty crop-dusted an innocent man

Episode Date: May 26, 2025

Willy talks about running his first half marathon and Ubering two hours to see MJ Lenderman, while Rusty admits to crop-dusting on a plane. The gang also dives into the origins of “hello,” a bird that can stay airborne for up to 10 months, and lessons from the Hookup Hero on why you shouldn’t fear wild parties. Plus, the boys draft ways to slide into DMs and beach games that don’t exist. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP NEW MERCH HERE: https://playdatepod.shop/ RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS:  🇺🇸  MEMORIAL DAY ACCELERATOR SALE : $4 OFF ALL FLAVORS WITH CODE 4BUCKSOFF. OFFER VALID ON AMAZON FROM 5/20 - 5/27 https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/FB06B38E-F0C2-479F-9DA5-FD4A1C852B07?channel=Playdate GET 20% OFF @CHUBBIES WITH THE CODE PLAY AT https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/play #chubbiespod TAKE ADVANTAGE OF RIDGE’S ONCE-A-YEAR MEMORIAL DAY SALE AND GET UP TO 40% OFF RIGHT NOW BY GOING TO https://www.Ridge.com/PLAYDATE #ridgepod 00:00 Intro 00:59 North Carolina Recap 06:32 The Pope 10:41 There’s a guy in my vents 13:44 Star Wars 19:27 Will’s Big Race! 32:22 Uber drivers are trying to kill me 38:11 TV Nightmares 53:01 Roadmap 56:08 Pitch Submissions 01:02:44 Pitches 01:06:53 Teach Me Something 01:10:29 This Guy Rocks 01:12:55 Ways to Slide into Someone’s DMs 01:15:05 Beach Games that Don’t Exist #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

are we live now played it played it episode 108 kemba walker on the hornets kemba walker on the hornets we were just in charlotte or kemba walker on the bobcat was he ever on the hornets i think it was the bobcats when he was there i don't know and you're putting me in a weird spot because i have no fucking clue what about tony romo he didn't wear eight what did he wear nine but you can do it tomorrow what do you mean okay lamar jackson sure are you lauren whatever happened to you used to google this shit this looks disgusting you're not even attempt you haven't typed in a word lauren's got um some sort of gruel she's eating ghoul again we know he's well what did you want me to google i don't know just stay on top stay on top of

i'm sorry we came back hot we came back with the bad boys of podcasting again yeah how was your journeys dude yesterday yesterday was one of the with the exception of that one where i was throwing up on the plane yeah yesterday was the worst the hardest i've ever traveled really why we when you so willie we were in north carolina willie went to an mj london concert and left the rest of us unsupervised and we james and i were playing on a golf simulator we were trying to be the first guy it was so stupid we were trying to be the first guys to to tie until the sun came up it didn't make any sense we were high we were trying to like have the same score until the sun came up and then at like 4 45 we were like what are we doing like we got like a little bit more sober

and like kind of realized how stupid it was tied well you might have been the first guys to tie until the sun come up no i know but it was like it's just like it there's no reason we should have been doing that so this place was open all night no we had a golf similar in our house we were in this sick like airbnb that was like it's called birdie house and uh they have like a buddy oh is it yeah they have like a like a green on the in the yard too it's actually it was cool but then we woke up and we were driving to the airport it was kind of that same hungover when you and i went to epcot the first time where everything was like really really really funny and then we got to the airport and it literally in like the blink of an eye it wasn't

funny anymore i was in pain and so bobby and i went and got a couple beers and that made me feel like a little bit better which is always like it's the wrong line of thinking yeah it's a it's a temporary solution to a pretty permanent problem um because once those wear off then you're i was where i was before times a million yeah and i was checking the upgrade there were nine available first class seats i was like oh perfect i'll get one and whatever number it was i was one below that's when they were nine available there were i was 10 whatever and so i was like you know what it's fine i'm not gonna get my hopes up and then when i scanned my ticket they put me in first class so i don't know what happened but then here's here's the kicker kick me i went to

it was one of those ones where it's just wide enough where you can slip in without the person in the aisle having to like get out but it was she should have just gotten out and so i was like kind of like tipped on by her and my stomach wasn't feeling great and i let out like a silent fart it was like no i didn't be lauren i wasn't on part i farted on an old homeless woman you can't you can't just escalate it like that she was that's what i heard she was far from where'd you get homeless she was she wasn't at her house so whatever so she didn't you're just been guessing i made a face i made a face like like oh do you get do you guys smell that like it wasn't it wasn't me before you could smell it and then there wasn't a smell so i just looked

nuts to her yeah i don't think she knew it and then i went to sit up like this like 30 minutes into the flight and the second i put my uh leg up like this like a loud fart came out but we were up in the air so i don't think she heard it but it was like the just the the nightmare of getting sat next to me you were crop dusting us it's fine dude what happens we're guys we cropped us how was uh how was mj lunderman mj lunderman new new shirt and hat why is that a detroit hat yeah i got my my family friend deborah linder gave this to me and uh shout out deborah shout out deborah linder and um she a tiger's fat yeah she lives in ann arbor and then i got this shirt at the concert but it was how about this we're in we're in north carolina and that's the second

to last night we're like two hours from charlotte but i just happen to be looking at the app song kick and it tells it like matches like your spotify it sounds like an ad read but anyway so i open it up it matches your spotify to like concerts near where you are so you open it up and it'll just tell you like if an artist you listen to a lot is in a city near you that's a brilliant idea yeah and so i opened it up and it said mj lennerman today and i was like oh fuck i missed it and then i realized it was 12 51 so i was like so after our last shoot yesterday i i had to take a two-hour uber cost 150 to charlotte but the ticket was only 12 so i feel like 12 i would have paid 150 for the ticket yeah yeah so i feel like it evens out and my two best friends from

high school daniel and thomas live in charlotte right by the venue so they came with me to show and we got to hang out and jay my little guy not feeling very well he was he was sick he didn't sound he he was clearly dealing with something uh he was like hey sorry my voice isn't really there and then still played like a whole set which is honestly unbelievable that is crazy but uh it was a little low energy did you cheer him on did you i cheered him on here for you i said i love you my favorite part was he has a line where he says the word pope and everyone cheered it's it's like popes are hot right now you like turn you turn around you're like that was a big applause there's like all the cardinals behind you but the line is like every catholic knows they could

have been pope and just right after it everyone's like whoa yeah everyone's like come off one guy they're they're like thinking like the next next go around we got a shot do you see what they're doing to his childhood home the pope the pope no so he obviously just has a childhood house in chicago that he grew up in yeah it's owned by a new family now and they were like all right pretty good opportunity to like auction it off and make like a ton of money true and the city i guess is claiming that it's it's their property because it's like a landmark so they want to just but it's like you can't just just because just because the pope lived at your house at some point doesn't mean you have to like yeah give it up to be a

like they should they got lucky they should read the reward yeah that's bizarre they live in sacred walls they should just own it yeah i don't it's kind of like the guy who owns the breaking bad house where it's like i bet it would get old like that lady like screams at people every day that's what i'm saying no i'm saying like you if unless you want people constantly at your house like this is gonna be like a point of pilgrimage now is it dude you know crazy chicago area man discovers he owns that's funny uh i don't he doesn't sit right with me that he's that he's had sex i like that actually a lot so do most priests have most priests not like do most of them just enter the priesthood before ever had sex uh someone's mom said she banged him when he

was at villanova i don't i they never said they had sex i saw that okay they had a they had a situationship yeah but that i mean if he's a cat like i think he was catholic his whole life like you're not supposed like unless he sinned which is not out of the picture but like yeah i think it's very much within the realm of possibility that he hasn't had sex i would say 99 of catholics have had sex before marriage 99 i don't think that high i feel like that seems like if people like devout catholics like if we count we totally we probably we probably i'm about 95 myself come on i'm about 95 i don't get it like i've had so much sex and it counts for 95 of catholics you wait i i've had enough i've had enough for a whole 100 99 of catholics have had sex before

marriage but 95 percent of them did it with will no like they call him the king slayer if you i don't know you're just at 95 percent of cardinals events actually oh god dude did i tell you about my my buddy who uh they they all sued his catholic school uh the he went to a catholic high school and the one of the one of the fathers or whatever was chevers no no not me there was like a guy involved with it there what happened there or like one of the priests from like the from like spotlight what's spotlight the movie about like the priest abuse stuff in boston like one of the guys got transferred to chevers someone was telling me about that you know they just like instead of like punishing them they just like send them away yeah they send them they send them

to a place where all the kids are really ugly or something so it's a thing all right keep going so my buddy was they caught the gym teacher who was also a priest yeah filming them in the in the locker room and so they all sued the school and i think each kid got like a hundred thousand dollars damn well but they were like he didn't get anything they were just like in their boxers so they were like that seems like a fair trade like they didn't feel like super yeah obviously it was disgusting and gross that he did that but they were like it's not like he has some like crazy thing or like abused us whatever like he got a video i got a hundred thousand dollars for a video of me and my boxers like i would do that yeah every day obviously you feel like a little

icky yeah yeah yeah i don't think i'm yeah yeah sure what do you mean sure like it was your kid oh no no their parents were were furious obviously but i'm saying like these are like 18 year old 17 18 year old boys they were just like i don't and i feel like a little like icky about it but like you got yeah get your bag king so what if every morning there was someone in your closet filming you but you didn't know i didn't know would you allow for that if you were gonna get a hundred thousand a day yeah are you joking i would let but you don't know who he is what he looks like so a hundred thousand dollars a day is a hundred thousand dollars a day 36 million dollars a year 36 and a half or 360 million dollars you'd make a million dollars every 10 days

yes you'd 36 million dollars a year for some guy to film me in my skivvies yes you're right yeah 360 336.5 million dollars a year for a guy who sits in my closet but i according to lauren's logic i do not know he's there or he's either there or he's not well i will tell you it's schrodinger's guy in your closet um lauren well i have to tell you something what i think that and obviously this is like i'm like 75 serious about this and i think i'm being paranoid i genuinely think there's a guy like in my events oh yeah you said this i've thought this at every house i've lived in but this one this one's specific yeah i was just gonna say no no I told you about it.

You genuinely think there's a guy in your vents? You're not. No. You're a loner. No. You're a loner. I will give you that. You would have called the cops.

Not genuinely. Can you find blood on it or something? Yes. Okay. There's like this mystery goo that every once in a while comes out of the what? I didn't say anything. This is just insane. It was on the vent and then I'll hear stuff up there.

And then a guy sprays his mystery goo out the vent? That's all I'm saying. Shooting mystery goo out your vents? um and so i already feel like that's happening so yeah to answer your question lauren i would do it i would do it for a lot less than a hundred thousand dollars a day i mean is he is he a threat is he gonna do it is he gonna act on it at all or is he just filming you don't know okay well that changes now your question is would you get assaulted every day for a hundred thousand yeah no sorry but if he's just filming yeah totally what if he's uh

famous i saw a list a list okay like ashton kutcher is in your vents filming you and he's shooting goo and he's shooting his mystery you want it to be who would you want it to be who would i want i wanted my vent if there was someone in there they want to be there i want do they want to be there that's you know what i mean like i don't want to put him there he wants to be a guy there or she I want like a, I don't know, Taylor Swift.

Could you sing? I would go. I'm going to be on like a watch list. Yeah. Orlando Bloom. I just like to know he's up there. Keira Knightley. Yeah.

The whole cast. Dude, I've been. You do Johnny Depp. I got to watch Star Wars for the first time yesterday. Ew. He's allowed to burp. I'm allowed to burp. Thank you.

I'm so sorry. Don't let. I'm so sorry about her. I'm sorry about her. you watched or which one four because i've seen the pre i saw the prequels i just finished empire strikes back so i moved on to a new hope nice wait you finished revenge of the sith sorry revenge of the sith got it uh what did i say empire strikes back empire strikes back you got that coming up dude also i was talking talking about this yesterday the names of all the star wars are

sick yes the fan if someone called me the phantom menace you there'd be some mystery goo let me tell i here's my take and i'll see if you disagree with it we can i tell you what i think before isn't biased because i think you are on this same thing granted it's early i prefer the prequels so far i'm totally a prequels guy i i'm vastly pervert is that because we're children i think it's because the like beauty of like the original star wars is like it was like this space opera and it was like made at a time where that was like unique and cool and like but now it's kind of lost it's like been it was so successful that it's been mirrored so many times in like stuff that we consume that it doesn't feel as original anymore like it's not like revolutionary at all

you know about these characters and stuff and the like it's just a little bit like cornier and like not and not as impressive like technically too because they didn't have like the ability to do like these crazy it was you know like they made it all with like literal props like they made like tiny versions of all the ships and film them up close that's how they do all the space scenes but also i think the way you're doing it going the prequels into the fourth one too is like heart it's jarring because it's like you go you like regress technologically between the third and the fourth one in terms of like yeah and in terms of like the writing and like weights i also just like i like the cast and the prequels better yes well i think anakin's all

all-time character he's one of the best i don't got like shit on for that role hayden christensen no i thought the little kid got shit on for it no hayden christensen got like really he went to like hiding for like years he just like now is doing events and stuff again but what how why did people hate it i think i think a lot of the dialogue is really poorly like kind of poorly written like those scenes like with like padme in the like uh like in the villa in like naboo like when they're like by the lake and yeah like i don't know there's like just some corny ass lines that he's given there's some corny ass lines in this in the one that i watched yesterday yeah i don't i just think that uh i'm not a big i don't like because luke skywalker talks like a

like a 70s american teenager so it's like hard to yes yeah like they didn't nail the it feels like i feel more immersed in the prequels agreed yeah because hayden christiansen talks like he doesn't talk like a 2000s teenager like luke skywalker talks like a kid from new jersey yes i agree i think it's a little i i i like the prequels a lot better have you guys seen you watch rogue one too you should have watched it between three and four so i almost made a fatal error last night i almost bought all nine okay for 99 it was a bundle turns out they're all on disney plus yeah you have disney plus yeah nice apparently the amount of the amount of i canceled i couldn't figure out a way to figure out what i was subscribed to yeah so i canceled my debit card

and started a new one and i'm learning that i had a lot but the but now i only have the ones i want like i was paying for like peacock who i had like basically every single one at some point because i think i started all the free trials yeah yeah i'm getting charged the only thing i'm still getting charged for that i can't figure out how to cancel is door dash which i don't even have a doordash account so it's 10 bucks a month can i can i use your disney let's go you got the no ads i got the one with ads i think i have the hulu with ads i kind of like ads because then i look on my phone really all i'm saying lauren really perverse way of thinking but yeah if you want it if you want to stream with no ads between the two of us you know who to call you know

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been drinking accelerator every morning as pre-workout and i had one before my race it's perfect yeah i did i drank one the morning of the race yeah highly highly recommend i have to say where i uh all right so go to amazon and use code four bucks off i'm sorry that was not cool wait sorry i was it's fine it's just you guys get to talk about all the um crazy like workout stuff that you guys drink it before and feels like you're just kind of like ostracizing me for maybe not being as fit as you guys ostrich sized they make an ostrich sized accelerator sorry i tuned out to everything else you said it's huge guys go get it on amazon today we will see you guys later coming four bucks off hey i did my big race oh yeah wait oh my gosh i'm sorry did your friends

go yeah they well they none of them went to the race part of it but they all came and met me after we had a barbecue after so all that shit carolina was texting with you secretly about making a sign or whatever carolina was like texting me like i need you know marathon sign ideas and i like spent some time on it and then she was like reminding me like i need more whatever and then she just didn't fucking go in my in their defense if it was reverse psychiatry it worked because reverse psychiatry yeah it's in the office and uh the i kept thinking like my friends are about to see me so i gotta like keep it together like keep looking like stay strong like yeah yeah can't be like falling you know falling apart when they see me and uh all the way until like the last

mile i was like oh they're not here no but not not in a bad like i don't i literally specifically text them like do not i might i started at 7 25 a.m so it's like and i was in brooklyn and they're on manhattan so it would have been but my fit my mom and and sister were there at like they like had my mom had mapped out this perfect route where they saw me at mile three mile four mile seven that's awesome and then my dad was there right at the finish line which is really cool and i got do you see that picture that was really isn't that so cool my brother got a picture of my dad like high-fiving me so yeah how was wait what was your time 152 did you feel like at 8 30 pace that's awesome did you feel like he was robbing you of your special moment there my dad yeah no it made

me so happy to see him i i was joking there's a there's one video though where uh this woman's about to win like an iron man or a triathlon whatever yeah and her husband brought her kids out like 30 yards from the finish line it's like a tight race like she has to like keep going yeah and she obviously like runs past the kids yeah to like finish her race and all the comments were like he's trying to steal her moment which he like kind of was it was like super so he put the kids on the course being like hug mommy hug mommy and it was like no she's about to like win an iron yeah she just decks one of them you know what they should do the marathons should offer a service for uh friends who like to sleep in where you can pay and they'll put a cardboard cut out of

you holding up a sign of your choice at the or like from like covid baseball here's an idea um you can submit little voice memos to like pop up in your friends in their ears at random points i would be like put the song back on no they just like quick little guy yeah what did you listen to what was i made a whole playlist it was like message from lauren sorry it was like uh it was like a lot of like i put i was very emo skewing playlist like uh a lot of modern baseball and shit and then some like two chains on there just trying gonna keep two chains famously emo no no i was saying emo and then two chains i got and then what was your what song was playing when you ran across the uh oh fuck that's a good question i

think i might have stopped it for the very end or no it was soaking the moment no no it was uh it was actually dancing in the club by mj lenderman which is not a hype song at all but it was it hit like right in the last like sprint um i remember door swinging by two chains hit like two miles to go when i like needed it most and i was like can't forget how fucking had the door swinging it fired me up well you're trying to like tell you're trying to tell mj lenderman that you finished your marathon to his song you're like mj i finished to you well it was funny then like two days later i was at a show and he played that song it was kind of cool but uh during the race were you next to someone like next to anyone the entire time or

did people kind of like disperse a lot no it comes in well there was a there was a pace guy oh they hold the signs right yes and they run like the exact pace so that you don't have to like look at your because i put my phone i didn't look at my phone the whole time the venice half they have guys that are like really good runners and they'll run at a very specific pace and hold the sign up for the whole thing or they yeah that's sick i mean i'm i'm assuming it's like that they could run faster than that so but they're you know yeah well trained enough to run it so there's a guy with like a 155 pace card that i said i had of course had to pee right at the start so i missed like the start not that like it doesn't count until you cross the start

oh like for your own time but like i missed where my corral was supposed to start so i ended up starting with like a slower group so the first i was kind of like weaving and at some point i caught up to the 155 pace guy yeah and so i was kind of like i just want to be under two hours so i was like obviously want to beat this guy but like if i can just as long as i can see that guy i'll be happy and uh so i kind of was staying with that i was doing i don't even think this is like the right way to do it but like he would like pass me a little and i'd be like no no and then i would just like book it for like a like a couple minutes and then like be like oh fuck and i kind of slow down and then he'd like creep up on me and then i go fat like i was like doing these really

inconsistent uh but i got there he ended up passing me at the end and then it turned out i must have started way after him because i was 152 even though he beat me so that's sick that's fun i told willie this story i already learned but my dad lived with lived in manhattan beach after college and the la marathon was coming up and his buddy this like guy from i think new zealand or australia whatever like one of those like crazy athletes whatever was like i think i'm gonna run the marathon they were like you don't you you know more power to you but like he he ran like a little bit every morning he'd run like five miles every morning but apparently he hadn't gone for like a long one whatever so they're like all right we're gonna go watch him and after like a

couple miles he's like in the top like 100 people like he's flying they're like oh my god so they like go up and they keep seeing him every like handful of miles whatever and then they lost him he couldn't they couldn't get close enough to the uh like finish line because my dad was just like driving and then like getting out and like running next to the thing whatever and so they go home they were like we didn't see him we did never saw him finish whatever yeah they go home he shows up at like midnight and they were like hey man how'd the race go and he was like i was in the he got sent to the emergency room apparently what happened was he was in the top like 75 towards the end and apparently like 50 yards from the finish line collapsed and uh oh my god he like wasn't even

like he was a guys tried to apparently guys tried to like pick him up and we're gonna like help him but he was like totally unconscious so they took him to the hospital he like almost finished his first marathon like really well and then just collapsed that's scary well people died at the race i was like oh my god like a few minutes ahead of me fuck yeah got 31 year old dude dropped dead and then another guy got like cpr at the finish line it was like a really it was like a hundred percent humidity when the race started which i don't think anyone is like prepared for so it was like yeah what do you think was the cause of him like it was like a heart thing like it was a freak it looks like he like from the pictures i saw online like he looks like in shape too like

i don't think oh there's no way that it like running eight miles killed him i think he just had like some sort of yeah freak did you run a full 13 at all before the race ever no i had done like 11 okay but i kind of did i when i did 11 like i was like i probably could but i kind of wanted the first time i did it to be yeah you wanted your first time to be special man yeah exactly but i do yeah it does make me feel bad too like everyone my brother's like you know like he's big into the running scene in new york he fucking ran what was sam's he ran like a 120 like a 620 pacer holy shit yeah he's fucking and that wasn't even his best he's done like better uh wow but he was saying that like all the people in the running community too like we're saying that like

everyone no one pr'd like it was like a really yeah it was hard tough conditions that day so that makes me feel even yeah but if you what if you got to the finish line and the the guy getting the person giving CPR was like really hot so you like fake like a fake

yeah I need mouth to mouth you're like whenever you're done with him I'm also I'm having a tough time but dude I like I was totally fine

after the race went met my family at a bar had like a couple beers oh it probably tasted so good kind of except I was like I don't like fuck

Lauren Lauren is getting excited oh beers oh it was probably tasty you probably oh my god you probably felt so good

like all the voices in your head quieted down you finally felt like yourself anyway but anyway then we like take the subway into prospect park we're having like a picnic with my family and i invited all my friends and stuff and like the moment we're on the train it's like three four hours after i'd finished because i had to wait for my cousins and stuff and uh i'm on the train and i'm like oh god my tummy's really not feeling good by the time i get to the park and we set up this picnic i'm like oh my god my stomach hurts so bad uh like i go to the bathroom i crap my brains out i puke i'm laying on the ground writhing in pain and like all my friends show up they're like well like congrats like how are you i'm good good to see you so the whole barbecue with all my

like my aunt and uncle came from philly like my uncle came in from manhattan i mean not just for me my brother my cousin had run it too but it was like all these people were here and i like was just laying on the floor the entire time riding around I put a picture of her right here Carolina sent me a picture

and Will did not look great my like buddy from high school I never get to see came and I was like oh it's so good to see you man yeah

thank you so much for coming yeah so it was kind of embarrassing actually that part but I think it was hey it's okay

they call it I googled it they call it runner's stomach I think it's cause I ate runner's stomach is just like

very toned abs yeah I think it's cause i drank and ate during the run way more than i did in any of my training during the run i think i might have like over yeah like i stopped for lunch because when i yeah because like when i go on my runs i don't bring anything with me and i just go and then you have to eat those little chewies i don't like i i had never done that in any of my training but then at the race they had they were like giving them out and they had water stations like every mile or so and so i was just

like hell yeah i'll take what when it was like it was like uh like when you see a little table snacks like an hors d'oeuvre what are we working with it's like at costco when people go in like different outfits to just get samples again you're like running in laps getting completely sidetracked i actually did do that one time at the gatorade station i took one at one end of the table just kept running and grabbed another at the other is it true that people pass out shots during like a marathon alcohol yeah oh i didn't see any we used to give out beer i think that might just be your like your friends yeah like i don't know if i would i think we would about beer at like the boston marathon in college and like i would know one person would maybe take

it and then just like pour it on their face and i would be worried to take something from someone who doesn't work for the yeah and i would also be worried if the staff was giving out alcohol there's one really fun table yeah all right i gotta tell you this uh i ran a half marathon last weekend and we had a shoot a few days before where we were fitted by chubbies and i got these running shorts and i was like oh these are a game changer so i wore them uh for the half and they were great because they had like a uh like a lining and there's a phone pocket on the line and the phone pocket on the line which will didn't know about i was we were sitting on the couch yeah and i said

will do you ever put your phone in there and he it blew his fucking mind because i i had been all my training i was running with just my phone in my hand and then i just put it in there and i never to touch it and i didn't chafe i felt great uh it's nice to have like the the lining inside and then like the shorts on the outside so personal endorsement those chubby shorts i'm not wearing them right now but i wore them on saturday and they felt great guys father's day is right around the corner and it's not just about socks it's not about ties it's about power moves it's about you and your mini walking into summer in perfectly matching outfits that says yes we're related yes we are a unit and yeah we both look incredible we're talking the dad and lad

collection from chubbies it's not just cute it's performance family wear it actually increases your grilling skills by 27 your dad jokes by 42 and uh yeah it's going to result in some spontaneous chest bumps in public parks whether you're getting dressed for your work day a workout or a weekend getaway chubbies has you covered for a limited time chubbies is giving our viewers 20 off your order with our code play at chubby shorts.com that's code play at chubby shorts.com support our show and tell them that we sent you don't blend in with the crowd stand out with chubbies speaking of being worried about taking drinks from someone last night i was in my uber you know sometimes they'll like hand you like a water or something yeah he handed me like

a brand that i didn't recognize but i was like you know i'm thursday i'll have one and when i opened it i like couldn't tell if it was sealed or not like i didn't hear like the the full crack or whatever it's like you know i'll take a sip and then i took a sip it tasted fine took like another sip and then i started feeling really light-headed and my eyes were doing that but it was impossible to be like this is from this because i had been feeling kind of like that all day because i was like so hungover so i stopped it but i was like what a what a dumb way to go down if you're like like if i like woke up like kidnapped i would be like i shouldn't obviously don't drink the water from the uber driver what this is just further playing into

your like uber drivers are trying to kill me wait when when did i say that there was more threat of an uber driver trying to kill you than getting in a car accident yeah i think you sound like a fear of uber drivers i think um i don't know i didn't realize that i didn't i should have seen it coming that people were not going to love that take but i didn't i didn't realize how safe the playmates were i think that's just basic totally now i see that now yeah i one thing i'm going to try and do more this year is is you know i'm not perfect i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna continue to probably have bad takes but i'm gonna try and be better about admitting when i was wrong i'm sorry i shouldn't have made you guys uncomfortable by saying i don't wear my seat belt i still don't

Oh, yeah. I didn't even hear that because I wasn't here for that. It was akin to the last time where we got 300 comments being like, L, L, no seatbelt, have to wear a seatbelt. Which one thing I didn't take into consideration is that it puts the other people in the car in danger. I felt like it was fine because I'm responsible for my body. It was inconsiderate to not realize that apparently your body becomes a projectile and just like can take someone's head off yeah but um gonna be better about it i wear the seat

belt when i'm driving i just personally when i'm in the back of the uber i like to relax a little bit yeah that's such a bad take no i i'm admitting i'm i i will start to wear it in ubers because it puts him in danger but if i'm actually maybe i don't know i probably won't but i'll say i'll say i will i was in a i was in an uber or a waymo the other day waymo i'm i'm in on waymos now and uh we're going down where you know the streets where there's cars parked on both sides so if people are coming at each other you have to pull into a yeah you know an open spot like a really narrow one yeah and we're going this woman swings around like a a stop sign sees the waymo i don't think she saw that we were in it and i feel her pain of like i used to hate waymos too and so

she's just fucking not moving yeah yeah and then we're like leaning in being like dude go like pull in here and she wouldn't drove around and start honking at the waymo and then the waymo just backed it had to back up like 40 yards so that she could go around and we were like that's like it's just very frustrating yeah like i would i i used to fuck with waymo's if there's no one in there we've all done it yeah but um honking at a way most funny yeah it's like bro yesterday i was trying to be nice and let a waymo in there wasn't even anyone in there and i i've stayed back where i was for probably like 10 seconds yeah i just wouldn't go so i'm like all right i was trying to let a guy cross the street today and he just would not you would not put himself in the mix

like he was kind of hiding behind a car so the other oncoming traffic stuff like cars didn't see him and i was trying to i was looking at him like dude you gotta just yeah you gotta take one step into the crosswalk so that they see you and then cars behind me started going around me and so i lost like five pole positions because this guy wouldn't fucking put himself in the mix that drives me sick oh i wrote some things down let me look at my please mdw let's see what i got well we're hanging out this weekend right you guys aren't gonna bail yeah my friends are on friday right yeah is that tomorrow friday friday do you guys want to go to gaslight this weekend yeah what is that is it fun i used to go there we should get there early so

we can actually sing oh it's impossible to get on it's one stage so it's like once it's night oh is that tomorrow or is that saturday it's open every night i'm saying our lauren had texted friday right yeah we're getting dinner at eight and then yes saturday i have i got dinner have you guys seen tiki the dog no you seen tiki the dog will no this woman i've never seen any the dog this woman fosters uh rescue dogs yeah and someone some rat bastard i don't know what happened but he's very skittish around people clearly it was like abused or something it was really sad but she's like documenting his progress um as he gets like more friendly and now now he like sits in her lap now he like you know plays with the other dog

and her whole thing is she like fosters him and then like gets him into a good home but i think people are very upset because they're like oh you're just bonding with him now yeah you should just keep him so should we keep him my mom applied to get this dog named margo and she hasn't heard back but i wanted her that'd be fun margo i i got can i tell you what i say i got two tv nightmares oh come on tv say with me tv nightmare nightmare uh no okay on monday monday monday i'm in uh oh oh before i did the i did the thing where they put the headphones on and they say what song is this for five bucks what name did you really when i was in new york oh did you just run into him or you know i like no i i remember you prefacing this yeah yeah we

preface we've had uh some dialogue and i just wanted to he had said whenever you're in new york come check out the office and so i went and checked out their office and then he was like you want to do track star and i was like yeah did you get it i did pretty good yeah i'm pretty did he does he tailors it like towards you he does like we've been talking about music and i told him some of my favorite artists and like yeah so he there were definitely i think you know if if the first one was wrong it wouldn't be that much of a show so i think he kind of easy and then he kind of pushes you a little bit more um but it was very it was it was cool i love those so are you gonna be in a video yeah like one of those on the on youtube or on yeah i think they're yeah

i guess they're on youtube too but like you know like they're on instagram and tiktok yeah puts the headphones on you and he's like whips song yeah uh anyway the tv nightmare tv nightmares monday monday i am in we're in pinehurst north carolina we're at the pinehurst brewing company Actually, it was on Sunday night, maybe. Whatever. We get to this bar. The Mets are on. They're playing the Red Sox.

Or no, they're playing the Yankees that night. No, it was the last game of the Subway Series. The Mets are playing the Yankees Sunday night. We're at this bar in North Carolina. And we get seated. And I ask them if they can put the game on. For the record, there are a hundred TVs. A lot of TVs.

There was a NASCAR race that was like 50 laps in. i was like do you mind putting the mets game it was on sunday night baseball so they put it on for me i'm watching then i guess the guys at the table next to us there's this big group of like ne'er-do-wells uh they asked i guess i don't even remember what they were just like like fat old dads okay and uh and they asked to put on the nascar race again i guess so then the of their waiter then switched it back to the nascar race i was like hot damn like i had just change it and when it switches to the net like and they weren't watching the nascar race at all they just saw that i'd put the mets game well one second hey lauren when will's telling a

fucking story why don't you put your fucking phone in your pocket and listen to this awesome tv nightmare i am what did he say he's trying to watch nasc they're turning nascar he's trying to watch nascar he's driving around the track he's going dude just i want you to this is an awesome story and i was there so i this story's more for you and you're there texting away i'm not go what were you texting were you on ig reels no texting simone no who's simone she won't talk about it on the phone but continue glad you kept your cool there there's a guy named simone continue okay okay um that's that's now way more interesting than my story no this is a great story lauren just listen i am tv nightmare nascar you're on the tracks so i put

the meds game on these guys who aren't even watching the nascar immediately are like can we switch it back to nascar to their waiter and the moment it switches back to the nascar they all go like yeah yeah and i look over they're like looking at me like i literally think they were just like fuck you we're in the south or something and guess what they do just to rub it in they just all get up and leave they switch back to nascar go whoa and they'd all get up and walk out yeah and our waiter came over and i was like what just happened he's like i honestly think they were just trying to fuck with you and so he put the meds came back it was also our waiter's third shift and he was like he was i wouldn't have known that he like yeah he did a great job he did a

great job but he was like nervous he kept being like it's my third day i don't know if they have to change it and like i just put it on and then it was such a dick move they literally just did that to fuck with me i don't even know why like why is watching baseball dumb no that's i think that they were in pinehurst north carolina we can't watch a mets game i think that they you represent everything that they despise down there they don't even know that though but you they and as far as they know you're from the big city you wanted the i was wearing a tiger's who would their team be the braves the braves yeah 98 braves that's the funniest song of all time you hear that 98 braves or morgan wallen it's like if we were a team in love with the game we'd be the 98

braves and then he's got a part where he's like i hit a long one towards the outfield but it came up short with you or so it's all baseball metaphors it's really it's very funny anyway said like there was like one more he had to fill like one more slot on the album and they're at a baseball game he's like i'm um it literally is like you struck me out with your heart and i got on first and stole second and we made it to third base i stole third like what does that mean that doesn't sound good forster anyway the stop why do you go on your phone what do you do on there it's not a big problem it was just like it okay this is what i will say i don't really care that much but it is like when you're telling a story and i look over there and you're

not looking then it kind of sometimes throws me off but i'm being judged me not okay but it was like i was i had one more word to finish so i was like let me just send right the one what was the last word love not take take day i'm more no just tell your other tv nightmare texting simone bolivar over there who's that he's like a revolutionary from columbia a revolution oh second tv nightmare what time is it even over there it's like four in the morning i'm texting my friend cameron okay if you really want to know okay cameron sounds red wings jersey runs with ferris yeah i know him okay he runs with that yesterday that crowd he's running with Yesterday was a dual-wheeled Survivor finale and Knicks game happening while I'm on the plane from Charlotte to Salt Lake City and then Salt Lake City to LAX.

And I am watching. You said in first class? I did. I was. Thank you. Everyone thinks Will. Well, I don't make up my whole fucking thing. Everyone thinks Will's this blue-collar man's man.

Will's up there in the front. eating caviar off uh off of lauren help me out here what is he eating it off of his hand he's eating it off of his hand like a true like a true meaning balls oh no all right i'm eating caviar off a hooker's ball is that what you guys want to hear yes man thank you obviously what else am i damn anyway i get i land in salt lake city i have eight minutes before the boarding doors close on my on my other flight and it's survivors like it's going into the final tribal had some outages on the first leg so i missed some of the dialogue but i kind of watched most of it so i book it through the airport get onto the next plane immediately start up survivor

and they are getting ready they're like finishing up final tribal council and getting ready to read the votes and right as they go to read the votes delta safety presentation like clockwork all right thank you for flying delta airline the new one's like four fucking minutes long dude it's the hundredth anniversary of delta to celebrate this i'm like oh nancy is representing the 1940s and you're like all right we don't need it we don't need this whole fucking song and dance and then when it comes back it was the reunion so i missed the whole reveal of who won i mean i it comes back out probes is like craziest tribal ever yeah thankfully it airs later on the west coast so So I got in, Ubered home, and Scott was watching it, so I got to re-watch it.

But after that happens, then I switch over to the next game, which was in the final minutes. That was a brutal ending. And we got one of those fucking stand-up comedian flight attendants. And when it pops up, you can still kind of watch the game, but it puts a box in the middle that says, like, PA in progress. And it's right on Jalen Brunson in, like, the last possession. and uh so i'm like i was so fucking awful and then of course the knicks ended up losing that game too it made it that much worse that that shot at the end was legitimately one of the craziest ridiculous ridiculous um can you explain to your indiana pacers you want us to explain this

in like girl terms no just okay so how is this is this blair waldorf blair waldorf and uh serena vanderwoodson are uh you ever seen the field hockey episode of gossip girl no okay um have you ever seen okay you ever seen like queer eye no i've ever seen a nets game it's just like that no a bulls game okay um is this the end of no no this is game this is game one of the conference the winner of this series goes to the championship okay and who's in the other who's on the other side the pacers no no no like the other city in minnesota yeah okay there's a i will i will say uh i'm very happy that we have like kind of a ragtag final four here because it's like more fun to watch but the the like two how do i say this there's there there's more

like flopping from these teams than there would be like on the other side flopping like like SGA is like they call him like the free throw merchant because he just like like falls down and then hits like a crazy shot and they like aren't fouling him so he had like 15 free throw attempts oh I was gonna they were letting him play last night I think they probably got clocked in the throat and they didn't call it oh maybe that was a different one there was There's one where he grabbed someone's arm and hit him. Lauren, we're telling you about a Catholic baseball game. You don't...

Oh, my God. Just continue. You don't know what I'm doing. What are you doing? Wait, that's the... Do you think the problem is that we want to know what you're doing on your phone? No, it's just like if I have to look at something really quick, you don't... You guys will check your phone for a second.

It doesn't need to be that big of a deal. Just continue. Basically, what we're saying is it's fine. Jalen Brunson was getting fouled left and right. They were letting him play. I actually saw an article on ESPN this morning that was like, are the refs letting him play too much? I'm not even kidding.

I think people are really letting him do some shit. Maybe not Shea. I haven't watched the Western Conference at all. He, I think, had the most free throw attempts in a conference final game. MVP? Lauren, so sorry. Sorry, that was probably confusing for you. Willie, break it down in girl terms for us.

The Indiana Fever are playing the New York Liberty, and Sabrina Ionescu is getting clocked in the throat by Caitlin Clark and Sophie Cunningham. Whoa, how do you know all these? But she is goaded. She's a three-point GOAT, and she's Clutch, Clutch Player of the Year. So she's fighting through it. But then at the end, Kaitlyn Clark hits a buzzer beater.

I saw that shot. I actually did see that shot. For the Pacers? The Pacers. That was sick. It was. And Lexi Hull hits six threes in the last quarter. And then Diana Taurasi, what's she doing?

She's not on. She's not on. She's on Phoenix. she's still in the league yeah and she wears like crazy long shorts she wears like capris woo i love ernie smith fun fact he was like going off last night uh my same age as me from charleston could what could have been we have some mutual friends kind of cool roadmap what broke all the roadmap yeah i'm why sus lauren vented lauren's venting all right yeah can i just go pee real we just got our new ridge wallets here's my thing with wallets the big ones you have to like put in

your back pocket unless you want to be like mr big pockets in the front here's my thing with the ridge wallet i put it in the same pocket as my phone because it's so so i have keys and whatever else i'm putting in the left one and then this is so small that i can slip it right next to my phone it doesn't feel like i'm like digging around for stuff and then look at this Watch how cool it is when I pop my card out. Bink. That was kind of cash. Speaking of cash, it's got a strap right here for your cash.

As usual, I have none on me. Ridge wallets are ultra slim, effortlessly sleek, and surprisingly spacious. It holds up to 12 cards plus cash, all without turning your pockets into a lumpy mess, which was Will's nickname in college. It slips right into your front pocket and practically disappears. And don't let the slim profile fool you. This thing is tough. That's what I say about me.

do not let will slim profile uh fool you guys crafted from premium materials like titanium and carbon fiber it's built to handle whatever life throws at it plus it comes with a built-in rfid blocking tech to keep your card safe from digital pickpockets ridge is so confident in their quality they offer a lifetime warranty it's literally the last wallet you will ever buy also losing your wallet something i do a lot bridge has an air tag attachment so you'll always know exactly where it is before panic mode kicks in and right now ridge is having their huge memorial day sale that's 40 off at ridge.com slash playdate just head to ridge.com slash playdate to see their biggest sale of the year and after you purchase they'll ask where you heard about them please do

us a solid uh support our show and tell them that we sent you we love you guys let's get back into the episode where some see heroes and others see egos bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes while others follow the noise we follow the money learn more at bloomberg.com roadmap we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches then we're gonna do everyone's favorite segment teach me something followed by this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey instead of this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard there's rocks in my yard thank you lauren and then will and i are gonna tell you ways to slide into people's dms come on dude what really you don't like during

the roadmap no he just like he just had this nastiest thing i've ever heard would you rather have him keep it in and have his tummy get upset do you remember what happened last time his tummy got upset he had the hershey squirts all over the couch i had hershey squirts all over the public restroom in prospect park do you know how much money it cost to reupholster this couch after the last time willie's tummy hurt yeah it was horrible i had the hershey paint it was more like a it was more of like a hershey explosion it was like a fucking klondike bar i out of my ass i had a poop uh yesterday that literally the fact that like the structural integrity of it still makes no sense to me it was the long it was legitimately the length of my forearm but like this thing i

i mean i might be exaggerating it disappeared down the half of it disappeared down the hole so i can't for sure say how long it was but it was like it was fucking shocking yeah it's like how they like approximate like the size of a dinosaur based on like one bone or something it was kind of it's like how um lauren you know there's like eight inches of bone thing i said or no because i can't get you know there's eight inches of penis like on the inside of your body that's what it looks like is that true it goes like all the way back down to your like that's why if you jelk you can get some of it out lauren can you google google like what percentage of the penis is undetectable to the naked eye goaded technique it's i think like each

person has like you have way more penis on the inside then google penultimate gooner what am i google baseball stats that seem too hard to believe half there's more that's half of your penis is inside your body that's cray half of my penis is inside your body so will you have like an extra like two inches of penis inside oh well i could fucking kill you right now god i could fucking kill you right now ew ew what look at the spit on his shirt what again you want him to keep it all inside his body his mouth will get wet maybe don't rile me up and then we're gonna do beach games that don't exist and then we'll finish with rusty's song of the day we got i think 2500 of you bad boys out there now dude actually no i

believe you i believe you what you forgot that you just like seeing your brain turn for the number every week you forgot to ab i know i had to go back you did okay i'm sorry about that guys I fixed the order, too. Lauren, motherfucking pitch this. Pitch that shit. Oh, great. Lauren's having lunch. Throw me that ghost fork.

Ghost fork? Ghost fork. Ghost fork. You guys missed sushi yesterday. Yeah, what was that all about? Thank God. I hate sushi. Can't even, like, be in the same office as them and be around people that have eaten it before.

You guys haven't ever eaten it, right? you know you can uh they used to think you couldn't kiss someone if you were celiac and they just had gluten but they science just discovered that you can't big news for celiac people i think you just can't fuck a bagel all right redefining redefining what the i put the cream in cream cheese oh take that out bleep that play twice play twice you flossing now what are you doing i'm chocolate in my teeth you're actually flossing yeah i thought he was doing a bit no i don't want chocolate in my teeth while i'm reading the pitches from the playmates okay why are you eating chocolate at 10 because i was so hungry i was gonna like turn into dust all right first

pitch is from ben i respect it ben piot or or yeah can you get the penis off the screen okay first pitch is for ben that's the opposite of getting the penis off the screen you made it bigger ew the inside of that looks disgusting you don't talk about lauren making a penis bigger i don't want to hear about her weekend plans from like sex and boner oh oh oh yeah you're talking about like like crazy boner sex crazy boners have you ever had boner sex all right keep doing it have you had boner sex stop it okay what's up powder puff and girl powder puff and girl i'm the puffin girl put a picture of a half puffin half girl here oh oh all right what's the worst part about going to sporting events

it's a good question uh once it's done getting out is a whole fucking getting home is a whole thing you're in the middle and you have to pee okay ben says missing a big play while getting food as soon as you convince yourself it's a slow point in the game you wait in line to grab 30 nachos and you hear the crowd pop you look around frantically trying to see what happened to no avail introducing stadium striders an app similar to uber eats store dash and or but your food gets delivered straight to your seat no more anxiety-filled speed walks to the hot dog stand watch the whole game stay full and tip your strider pitch from benny in virginia love you guys and girl p.s please bring back am i the asshole not the asshole not the asshole i love

it i wish there was a guy that could um i wish there was a guy that could poop for you or pee for you true uh there used to be i had an idea too that i just thought of during this maybe instead of just having instead of having to have like the individual maybe there's just that in the app you could go and be like i could you i could go for a hot dog and if enough people in your section do that then the hot dog vendor would be like oh high density hot dog yeah we got a hot dog uh food desert over here you know what i mean like if enough people you kind of put in what you'd want and then the vendor note can see a map of like where people are requesting the most ready yeah you you put you put i could go for a hot dog and if someone is already going

to get their hot dog they'll get theirs free if they get yours oh i like that so you paid double for a hot dog i'd pay double for a hot dog to knock it out i guess if it's like a cheap hot dog yeah really lauren do you know how much fucking money we make will and i are rolling in it i could buy i could buy like a dozen hot dogs if i wanted yeah once this episode comes out i get a dozen hot dogs okay thank you ben i haven't paid my rent this month i own that i own that shit next pitch is from brandon charles hi brandon charles what bc brandon brandon says what's that nina pinza in the santa maria nina i want to be the santa maria pinta boy do i have a pitch submission for you it is a restaurant we look i honestly might have read this no i haven't

it's a restaurant called leftovers they only serve leftovers like reheated pizza cold pasta and various soups they the way this works is you can either order off the menu of items or you can bring in your own food and have the chefs prepare it for you in a professional way my thought is this will be a great place to go the weekend after thanksgiving for turkey sandwiches and that stuff love the pod keep up the great content okay i i love that that would be that'd be fun to uh bring him like a bunch of ingredients and be like just do your worst whatever you think we can do out of it it's like that that dad on tiktok that makes uh fast food stuff gourmet so they'll like order something from taco bell and then he'll deconstruct it make it gourmet

i love taco bell i do too dude i was i was tb maxing last week my tb max i literally have gained five pounds since i got into taco bell um all right it's so good i had a steak what do you got quesadilla i don't like when i was in new york city after i after i got over all my shits and pukes and stomachs i went out in the big city and we got a private karaoke room and i was in there till four in the morning really yeah it was awesome that's fucking and then i went to taco bell after and got taco bell and i ate a steak quesadilla and the sun started coming out and i had a panic attack yep i'm actually drooling i have a gripe i have a bone to pick with taco bell actually now that i'm thinking about it why what's the best part about

taco bell it's fast the service the sauce the sauces like the mild sauce from taco bell is my favorite maybe my favorite like condiment in the world hot i still like it without it but like it just it elevates everything you need the sauce went out of my way to order eight sauces eight sauce packets or however many and two times in a row they just didn't put my sauce in the thing it's like most of these things require i don't talk about anything dude it's chicken quesadilla with uh how do you not use their hot sauce yeah the chicken quesadilla with the mild thing i see um all right i have a i have a delicate delicate palate yeah what is what what is the worst what's the worst part about getting to your ball when you're golfing

car path only or some bullshit like that lauren you have to like get through the weeds and the the rumbles the rumbles you gotta get the fescue you gotta get through the rumbles uh actually let me rephrase this what's the worst part about getting from the green to the t the green to the next day it's boring it's boring yeah fair it's not fun this is a golf course where each green is connected to the t-box by like a very short but very fun roller coaster i like that so uh you can you can have a blast between each hole i think that would be so in there dude what about your cart uh no the cart like you drive it on to the or like locks in you drive it onto like a track and then it's like um that's very fun and there's so much acreage

out there they could build crazy roller coasters that they'd never be able to at the theme park because there's not enough room that's a great idea thank you yeah i like that a lot thank you um do your worst willie what is i i don't i don't do them like that cargo shorts with temperature controlled pockets okay everyone didn't like it cut to put lauren's reaction right here lauren and then put a big x on her face and put bozo under you better do it i will uh all right wait uh explode lauren explode yourself with fx like a drone okay so what are you putting in there like ice cream sandwich on the go motherfucker imagine you want to take one of those like you know those things like two chocolate chip cookies with a i just had one of

those last night yeah imagine guess what guess what you want to take that to go good fucking luck bitch oh my god oh my god i did not mean bitch like you i i meant just like i didn't mean bitch like you you're you're different you're a completely different type of bitch i was saying i meant bitch like someone else i didn't mean i was saying that like generally but then i looked at you and i said it can you cut that no he called her bitch i didn't call lauren i've called lauren a bit for many many of times no i've only done it once and you got very upset probably i was saying like generally if you try to put an ice cream sandwich in your pocket good luck bitch yes but then i happen to turn to you right when i said it well i wouldn't it's okay it's okay

ice cream sandwich pocket what about hot or you tell her about the hot side whore or how about whore what now you're calling me a whore seriously dude oh wait whore get a load of this you're love the hot hot whore whore idiot whore i'm so sorry um here's another practical use you know some people like to go to festivals or concerts and stuff and i've heard out here people like to do uh bring like chocolate bars to eat i guess just eat chocolate at the festival but then it melts and it gets all sticky it gets all over your like butt and stuff and people think it's crumb something crazy so it keeps it cool it's a cool

temperature controlled pocket or there's there one of them or you can do warm in the winter for a hot pocket one of them microwave stuff so you can put like popcorn in there and then when you're walking around it's like wait dude wait did you just say warm in the winter I thought you said or you

can do a worm in the winter put a worm in there in the winter and I'm like why would you only want a worm you carry around your worm but it's a worm in the winter oh there's that's like a saying that doesn't exist i haven't figured out what it means yet worm in the winter you're hotter than a worm in the winter so no no worm in the winter is uh someone who's got to make some changes or they're gonna die yeah the other morning on my walk i was moving worms off the sidewalk because they were like had it rained they were shriveling up and i felt bad the other

day i was the other day i was moving worms off the sidewalk someone's got i was right i was two blocks ahead of you putting them on the sidewalk um all right should we do teach me something lauren how would you all right let's do a little let's do a little cosplay okay lauren i'm gonna call you and you're gonna pick up bring bring bring bring hello hello exactly did you know that there's no way what what go ahead did you already do this this is your teach me something last episode no it wasn't the origins of hello 10 episodes ago no it was like two episodes just say wait i just learned this two days ago it's impossible i learned this in north carolina oh maybe you just told me then the origins of hello it originally alexander graham bell they

were trying to come up with like a how people should answer the phone because before if you saw something you'd be like good morning good afternoon good night whatever there wasn't like a uniform one and he was picturing that it should have been ahoy like you'd pick up and be like ahoy and then uh i think ben franklin was like now what would be fun it should be hello franklin apparently wait what i think google or wait wait let me just finish and then we can figure it out wasn't the phone like the early 1900s the telephone no it's like the like early 1800s late 1700s maybe what yeah it's crazy google when the telephone is invented 1876 okay it's a late 1800s i don't think ben franklin was part of i don't think he was but someone said it whatever

so uh apparently hello used to just be like an exclamation like something would happen you'd be like hello but then he was like yeah now it's a greeting wait didn't we not did he not say this am i tripping maybe we just maybe someone else taught me i'm sorry i didn't mean to jump down your throat like that then dude brother like me loves when you jump down that come on jump on in what get in okay dude stop disgusting nobody won't everyone's hating that i love hating okay what's your teach

me oh ready who here likes birds this guy come on right here i'm open i'm open the eurasian swift um wait let me one second eurasian eurasian swift uh aries tour in moscow no no no no no no no no no no no one second one second one second one second one second the eurasians eurasian swift um what's it give me a song give me a song give me a song fearless fear fear all right i'll come come back to me come back to me they can stay in the the air for weeks or months at a time jesus and they just dip down and just skim some water off the out of the water to drink it and then when they sleep they sleep and just flying in circles with one eye open what question yeah why would they want to do that i don't know and then they don't they don't ever go on the ground

until they're sexually mature. Oh, look at that. Brother like me would stay up there forever then. Yeah, that's fucking bizarre. I don't like that. Why wouldn't they just go in a tree or something? I don't know. They're fucking hammered.

All right, what do we do? This guy rocks. This guy rocks. This guy rocks today. Hey, hey, I said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard lauren turn the airdrop on girl come on i select my okay uh this is a guy named what's his name hookup hero yes the hookup hero uh and he's telling you that you shouldn't fear wild parties

never fear wild parties orgies swingers nights fetish parties can be a gift from god but if you're comfortable with people who are sexually expressive they can be paradise if you get an invitation to go to one go here are a few words of warning don't touch anyone without permission and don't go where you're not invited these parties may be wild but they are not a free-for-all be polite and you'll have more fun guy rocks i love that yeah i'm in i want to go to a party with him and i want him to do his worst open it up open it up tiktok and your and your grandpa just being like swingers nuts can be paradise i love him point he seems so kind too girl i doubt that i bet that brother gets crazy he can still be kind yeah i don't think you can be kind

and crazy you can freak it kind you can be kind when you freak it what's the kindest you've ever freaked it all right all right well who does this is a celebrity celebrity barber bodyguard do you like it why is there a barber shop in a walmart i don't know but it's also funny It's, like, actually pretty, like, I think he did a really good job. He did a really good job. There's just a lot happening. I saw a guy the other day get a haircut, and the woman spun him around, and he was like, fuck, no, no.

Where? It was just on TikTok. Oh. I guess I should have phrased that differently. He was, like, furious with the haircut you gave him. All right, should we do ways to slide into someone's DMs? Sure. these are ways to slide into someone's dms uh i base these all off of things that have worked on

me okay real site dating for free totally 100 instant sex cams for everyone 18 plus that would work all right you send them you send them an audio message with this oh god now introducing lord featherstone i've traveled far and wide to give you this message i'm requesting your presence on a date that would work that's pretty i love that i feel lonely i need someone next to me now call me and let's have fun squirt emoji oh god they're all actually pulled for my dms um you have your friend dm them something like really crass and then you join the group chat and you go is this guy bothering you

are you interested in sex cameras with me check out my latest movie preview watch now here um you go i'm lost and i can't find my parents can you help me please it's kind of like like you're a little kid okay this is my idea i haven't i haven't actually made the thing but one of those like you have 15 to build the perfect like blank but it's like the date yeah that's to build the perfect date so it's like different options that would be so it's like a good conversation starter and it would give you like i love that idea uh you accidentally send them a ben shapiro clip and then you go fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck i didn't mean to do this this isn't representative of my character i like that a lot uh a trivia

question such as i don't know i just want where is the origin i'm hoping i hope this leads to anyone sending me trivia questions i like trivia questions you dm them a picture of their childhood best friend's home from the bushes all right should we do uh should we do beach games that don't exist yes tee it up willie these are beach games that don't exist wait why don't you do like summer's right around the corner like something like what are your favorite games i'm fine with that summer's here okay oh i was just trying to be helpful he was doing this thing oh i thought you hated it no i hate you not it though be not say you don't obviously i don't okay okay just go did you think i did for a second no for like a half second no i know you don't hate me

he does though summer is here don't say that well summer's coming motherfuckers summer's right around the corner these are the hottest beach games of 2025 have you ever played seagulls you swarm other beachgoers eat all their food and then poop on their blankets trench warfare you dig two world war one style you got the exact same trench warfare you dig two world war one style trenches uh like 30 feet apart from each other and you each have a an assortment of colored balls your goal is to get the balls into the other person's trench without them stopping you if you're out of the trench and you get hit with the ball you're out so it's like dodgeball combined with trench shit sick i love it oh we used to when i was

we used to play cousins and uncles crunkles where you uh go up to other groups and you see how long you can convince them that you were actually part of this beach trip and you're their cousin or uncle i think that would work uh landmine you all dig yourselves holes and completely cover yourselves where just your mouth is out and then someone has to walk around and if you can get them to get close enough to where you can grab their ankle you win yeah in it but if they pour beer into your mouth hole then you lose yeah uh kind of similar to trench warfare i have vietnam you dig tunnels and you try and sneak into each other's bases i like that uh keep it down you get a helium balloon and it's the opposite of keep it up you have to keep it down the catch is you have

to have one guy with a bb gun ready to shoot it so you don't litter shark attack oh you strap meat to your ankles get out there uh shark bites one one is that right shark bites one shark bites one wait let me this is this is what i wrote shark bite or shark attack you get a point if you get the lifeguard to think you're getting eaten by a shark get bitten yourself or get it to bite one of your opponents that's pretty good yeah uh last man sitting this one i'm actually excited about when you get there you get it's when the tide's coming in you put you try to see you set a time and you're saying okay sorry when you get to the beach and the tide's coming in you set a time and you say at this time whoever is closest to the water without having been touched by it wins so

you have to decide how close you want to put your chair and try to approximate where the tide will be at that said time that's fantastic that reminds we used to go logging we would like sit right where the wave breaks and see who could like sit there the longest in a chair no no like out in the sandwich sandwich two guys the bread the rest of the toppings run at them try and squish them all together hey what tomato volunteer you're just bumping into each other just like shoving into each other you fucking come come up with a beach game come up with a beach game and it can't be barbecue hands because that's my next one torpedo uh you do you take the lightest friend in your group and then you try to throw them as far as you can into the ocean and but they can't swim

don't say that's not even close to ever working that would never work it would break okay uh precision body surfing body surfing is usually about how far you can go this is about if you can hit very specific targets like you know like i feel like it'd be fun to have to try to like aim you set up like a slalom course yes yeah i like that uh all right should we do rusty's song of the day arsad hit me um someone said that we should start outroing the songs with outroing the episodes with the song but i think it would just demonetize us yeah probably not uh i got i don't ever i don't think i'm ever gonna figure it out by elliot smith uh one of the he's one of the only guys that like i feel like i can like hit

shuffle just on his page and i find new ones that i like all of them but i'll find every time i think i've heard them all i find a new one you're doing okay elliot smith i love it this one's actually kind of happy um it's about him trying to figure out what a girl is thinking i think i found it yesterday i'm really good like that i'm kidding dude it's not like that i love you man all right we love you guys so much have a great rest of your monday have a great tuesday and we will see you bright and early on wednesday um what should i comment comment comment a picture of my balls someone commented on one of our tiktoks uh a screenshot i saw that sitting i was like i don't

know how they even got that you can put comments or was it the one where i'm sitting like this yeah yeah that was in the someone posted in the subreddit do we do we have a there's the almost friday tv subreddit some there was a it was just a screenshot of me sitting like this oh that's silly that was good um comment uh comment a new segment idea and we'll pick one yeah we're gonna we're gonna spice things up we've been on the road a lot and it's been really hard to like innovate because we've been kind of then lauren has gone everything but i think this summer is gonna cool down a little bit for us yeah we're gonna have more opportunity to get a little creative and i wanted we want to try new segments i think the only travel we have you and i are going

to the bahamas yes on the 30th through margaritaville at sea oh i didn't know you were going to the bahama i didn't realize that's what that was that's the bahamas yeah and then we are going to see you guys in lucas willie and i are going to new york in june and then i think that's it i have an august trip to maine and minnesota but yeah i have a trip in july but for the most part we'll be for the most part we'll be here um all right we love you guys so much lauren play that motherfucking theme music boy where some see heroes and others see egos bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes a fad to some the future of money to others we see crypto's trillion dollar swings

the end of jobs or the end of human struggle we see the endless funds fueling the ai hype while others follow the noise we follow the money learn more at bloomberg.com this family is on the brink of civil war mob land the hit original series is now streaming on paramount plus from the underworld of guy ritchie do you want to step up the ladder i won't call that dead starring tom hardy pierce brosnan and helen mirren do i have to do everything myself mobland new season is now streaming on paramount plus