Will & Rusty's Playdate - rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins

Episode Date: March 3, 2025

Actor, writer, and comedian Chet Collins is back on the pod to talk Game Boys, Temptation Island, and doing parkour to impress a crush. Willy pitches the car that NEVER turns, Rusty recaps his 21st birthday celebration, and the gang makes a prank call involving a cul-de-sac dilemma. Plus, the boys draft soccer teams and sayings that don’t exist. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod FOLLOW CHET: https://www.instagram.com/chetcollins_/ SUBSCRIBE TO AFTV (NEW EPISODE EVERY THURSDAY): https://www.youtube.com/@AlmostFridayTV BUY OUR BUILDING DEPARTMENT SHIRT: https://almostfriday.shop/collections/playdate-pod/products/building-dept-longsleeve HEAD TO http://www.drinktriple.com/playdate TO GET 10% OFF THE ORIGINAL HIGH SELTZER USING CODE: PLAYDATE. 0% HANGOVER, 100% SOCIAL.  CONTROL BODY ODOR ANYWHERE WITH @SHOP.MANDO AND GET $5 OFF YOUR STARTER PACK (THAT’S OVER 40% OFF) WITH PROMO CODE PLAYDATE AT https://shopmando.com/ #MANDOPOD VISIT https://us.dollarshaveclub.com/collections/playdate-podcast AND USE PROMO CODE PLAYDATE FOR 20% OFF $20 OR MORE. GRAB A REFRESHING TWISTED TEA TODAY https://www.twistedtea.com/ 00:00 Intro 01:50 Getting Served 07:25 We Broke His Heart 12:39 Scribblenauts 18:37 Dating 25:18 Computer Hacking 31:15 Swimming with Sharks 40:53 Going Overboard 49:17 Sleeping with your Boyfriend’s Dad 53:53 MONTOYA POR FAVOR 59:52 Roadmap 01:05:44 Pitch Submissions 01:14:57 Pitches 01:20:02 This Guy Rocks 01:25:39 Teach Me Something 01:33:32 Soccer Teams that Don’t Exist 01:41:09 Sayings that Don’t Exist 01:48:51 Whose Personality are you Stealing? #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As always, Playdate is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer. Redefining the party landscape. He found a crazy YouTube short, just give him a second. Are you a YouTube short guy now? No. Like, uh, damn it, I wish I had like a... Yeah, what do you wish you had? Like a name, like, to finish that joke, like a...

What's that name, that like actual dwarf that used to do like YouTube videos? Dwarf Mamba? i don't know man um yeah dwarf i wasn't i was born before a youtube short guy uh yeah you're a youtube short guy oh i see i see played it 84 we have our good friend chester collins back in the studio he's gonna be here guys thanks he's a we got in trouble for not telling everyone who our guest was last time oh really he's a comedian writer and you know him from the entrepreneur world world and almost friday tv world world he what are the worlds of the university of virginia world alumnus virgin you know i'm from virginia you know you know

i'm from the university of virginia if you were if you were a bouncer you know i'm from the charlottesville riots chester collins leading the charge uh chester i think is now our most repeated guest. Is that right? Is this a three-peat? I don't think anyone's on three. This is my... No, I think this is my second.

I think this is my second. Chester Collins is now tied with about eight other friends we have who have come on twice. I actually think I'm like the last of your closer friends to be the second timer. So, that hurts.

I don't know about that. I don't think Liam... Do you guys remember when that woman hit me? Hit us? Yeah. Their car? just got a i got a letter in the mail so for the people that don't know the three of us were

driving in my car and a woman uh hit my driver door with the front of her car it's very important to note it was also the day that trump got shot and we were discussing that we had just like we were discussing that as you were crossing the intersection yes i was distracted our fearless leader went almost went down um and we were also going to the stones concert there was a lot happening and then a woman hit us and she hired a third party to determine that i was at fault and they came back and said that she was 95 at fault so most people that that happens to end of the thing we're gonna stop fighting i gotta saying there's a chance but she's saying there's a chance and if you're a lawyer out there you know that that means if she sues me for like

a hundred thousand dollars i would have to pay her five thousand because i'm five percent liable for what happened that's how it works wouldn't she have to pay you 95 though no like she would be responsible for so basically she's saying that she got hurt even though the paramedics showed up and like nothing happened but i got a letter in the mail yesterday that said i should be prepared to get served which i've never been served before so i'm looking for do they still do they come to your door i mean no they like they like if because i just won't answer the door they can't get into my apartment complex yeah so like they'll have to i think those are like bots that deliver food now serve you but like the cocos the cocos now they serve you because people don't want to do

a face-to-face it makes it a lot easier i'm really excited to get served i think i'm gonna handle it really well yeah this lady is a mad woman yeah yeah well we we we know firsthand how crazy she was she was great um she was yeah it almost seemed like have you told this story before on the podcast i don't think no uh yeah we did probably actually it almost seemed as if like she was like hired by a like some law firm just to sit at that intersection and wait for any kind of collision to make a huge deal oh no we're talking about the actual woman that hit my car if you she hit my driver door but uh yeah so the funny thing is like now they have to figure out like where i'm gonna be and is that really what like a guy comes up they like figure out like

okay he goes to this well i thought the whole thing about like serving was that like the exciting part of it was like you kind of have to track him down to find him yeah that's what i'm saying is like but typically people have like kind of a routine yeah i think like if they were if if i was a guy who had to serve papers and i was the client i was the target i would be like i don't even know where to start yeah it's like there's no rhyme or reason to spring break this week there's no rhyme or reason as to where he is i do i always think about that like i'll take like new routes to work sometimes to like throw like if someone's trying to serve you someone it will it's never been served but like i don't actually think this but it's more to like a fun game but

like if someone was trying to like assassinate me and they like planned like a booby trap at this intersection and then like they see me like cruised like by another one yeah they'd be pissed they'd be assassinating someone i'd be a good mob boss yeah why wouldn't they just like try to kill you at point a or point b why would they want to do it somewhere in between it seems like a really bad assassin raises too many red flags yeah but like where would you even start if you were gonna serve me uh here you're here every day for eight hours and i never leave you go to alfalfa yeah yeah oh the lady who the lady who thinks i stole saw me again today and i think now she's starting to realize i didn't steal a lady at alfalfa thought you stole something i went in to pick

i placed an order for pickup i went in i didn't see my name there was a huge like oh there were like 16 orders didn't see my name and because i was reading the server name instead of my name oh what oh oh server of food yeah i was like careful and uh and so i didn't see it and then i went to double check and now miraculously it's there even though they hadn't brought one out and when i grabbed it i grabbed it by the receipt and ripped the receipt off and then she was like wait wait why would you grab it by the receipt i didn't mean to i didn't mean to who would have grabbed it by the handle i just missed the handle and i grabbed the receipt and ripped the receipt off and left the lady looked at me like you'll be here for my

lawyer as he's walking out and then i walked out forgot to check for utensils so i looked i turned around looked in the bag the door is open and very loudly i said oh perfect because i saw utensils on top but it looked like i grabbed the bag didn't know what was in it opened it saw something i liked said oh perfect and then jogged back to the office and so when we came in did you jog well yes i was kind of in a rush so it looked like i like it looked like i opened it it was the perfect storm willie and i went back like a day later and when we walked in she made a face that was like some i would make if i can vouch that i had forgotten about this story i had kind of tuned it out when he's telling me but then i saw that lady he's do that face and i was like

oh that's what he yeah she made a face at him for sure but now i think now i think she either thinks i'm the boldest criminal of all time or has put it together that i wasn't stealing or if you did steal that one time you've ordered enough now it's like all right fine i uh you know i was think about i don't even know if you heard her say this to us when we were at venice beach bar on vbb vbb sorry god forbid yeah uh on friday the our waitress michelle very sweet lady that she always serves us when we sit outside she told me that over christmas they hung up stockings did you hear this no they hung up stockings for all of their locals and we had stockings hung up for us but we didn't go there for like a month oh no wait both of us i mean she said for you guys

and i feel like maybe that was it would have been yeah i mean yeah because he knows he knew dan's the bartender yeah um and uh yeah he always willy and chester he always says hello he always offers like a free shot it definitely it was definitely through him if there were stockings for us it was it was via dan so we definitely had stockings there and we just well because it was like christmas and we were gone and then well maybe we should hang stockings at our place for dan they never come and then we make them feel bad that feels like um i was devastated when she told me that i was like oh my god i'm so sorry yeah that's bad that feels like a kid who like told his mom he was going to come home for christmas and she like got the house all nice

and then you bailed at the last second like go ahead i picture i picture dan just like closing the bar late every night and be like no they'll come they'll come they'll be here like it's all right dan like it's we gotta close the bar he's like no no just a couple more minutes just a couple more minutes it's like january like eighth and he's like come on we can leave him up one more week there's one more week they're coming they travel a lot they're busy oh that's sad that's like a pretty bummer you ever have like plans with your dad or mom or something and then like friends plans come up and you cancel yep yeah or like you like you tell your dad you're gonna watch a movie with him he's like sitting by the tv all night yeah not as much anymore but yeah i

I used to bail on the parents all the time. My dad, I was just telling this. We have to go to Fort Lauderdale in a few weeks for a spring break. I heard. Pretty insane. Awesome. You guys are going to do like jello shots. Yeah, with like college chicks.

College chicks' bodies. That's awesome. They're called co-eds. Co-eds, yeah. So I told my dad, because I'm going to go that Saturday and Sunday. Instead of just flying back, I'm going to stay an extra day or two and go see the Mets in spring training. So I called my dad. I was like, hey, would you want to come meet me down there?

We can go to see the Mets. He was like, yeah. and then he sends me his flight and he booked it thursday morning which is the morning of the bacardi party so my dad's gonna be there while i'm there so i feel like i have to be like dad you want to come to this bacardi party is the bacardi party what i think it's gonna be it's exactly it's like a beach club with co-eds which okay don't get me wrong i actually would like my dad to be there like i feel like that might be kind of good influence yeah like a good influence And like

I don't know It'll rain us all in Yeah like Wait is spring training Later that day It's like the next Few days Oh okay

He booked his flight For like that day So I mean As long as he's down for it I feel like he might be like Short But my mom might be like

No Videos get sent home Of your dad doing like Shots of you With like 19 year olds That'd be fun though He's like hazing a kid Yeah well

It'd be nuts It's you two liam and billy yeah and then we're going to we're billy's ripped he's gonna he's gonna be in heaven awesome yeah he's gonna look sick oh his body's gonna look nuts i there was like one week in college where i felt comfortable with my shirt off at a party what kind of parties were they well i went to school in florida oh yeah and i'm like an extremely hairy guy and when i all my cousins went there and we were eating dinner before you know orientation and uh i think we went like swimming after and my aunt pulled me aside and was like they're gonna eat you alive

you gotta you gotta like trim your chest hair or something your aunt said that she was mostly too hairy no no she was we're like but like you don't know our dynamic we're like very close but she was she was like they're gonna eat you alive and that stuck with you clearly yeah well once you're like no longer a freshman and it was such a small school like everyone knew each other so i felt like it's like i think it's endearing if you lean into it yeah but if you're if there's even an ounce of like self-consciousness i feel like especially kids that age can you can tell oh yeah yeah they will they will eat you a lot yeah exploit that but if you if you're like confident being the the hairy guy i think it can actually work in

your favorite are you confident being the hairy guy now i don't even consider you like a hairy individual he's a bear okay yeah i mean but i've never thought of you as like oh he's like more hairy than most well i feel like now now i'm shirtless a lot less from like 19 to 21 i feel like it was like a daily thing that i was just at a bar with you in nashville where you took your shirt off singing karaoke in front of like 100 people yeah i guess you can't you can't you can't claim bashfulness if you if you will play we'll put that video right here right there i'm putting video right there all right chester one thing we like to do to lauren is you at any time during the podcast you can say we'll put this here and she has to go make the image okay anything your

mind can come up with it's like that game what was that game you used to play where you could just type in a word and it would make it like oh chat gbt like sword yeah like have a sword now yeah yeah yeah i had that on my ds wait what it was like the greatest game in the world it was like it was like you could do like pig with a backpack and it was like wild you guys are you guys pitching ai to me no no it was like it was on like 2010 dude it was eight honestly the fact that existed i remember like testing scribble knots scribble knots is that the name that sounds familiar yeah scribble knots right here we'll put scribble knots right here right there um when i was a kid yeah scribble knots i had this on my ds my dad and i were doing we're driving from

california to florida remember and i missed multiple like historical landmarks because i would not get my head out it was awesome it was like you have challenges and you can figure out like in very unique ways that game was awesome it was so cool now i don't think it would be as cool because it was so revolutionary then it was like i remember being like i have no idea how this fucking works yeah you could you could get any well literally no like name the thing name it anything okay we put him on the spot i don't know that many things uh the car yes yes you could do that is that insane honestly how's the car how did they fit all of that information onto the yes i don't know i don't know how phones work you guys have game boys yeah yeah the game

boy advance i loved the game pokemon sitting on the back of the bus with garrett alexander playing kirby air ride game boys are great i was a big uh i remember on the school bus i used to pride myself at being very good at monkey ball on the on the like i was just talking on like that ipod touch yep like when they first did like the first like what the game it was like the first game on the ipod touch iphone where you like tilted and well maybe it wasn't the first like doodle jump did that but this monkey ball was like 3d and i used to like my my end with like the cool girls on the bus was like i'll beat these levels of monkey ball for you so i kind of worked my way to the back of the the bus the cool part of the bus right with uh my prowess and monkey

ball i never heard of this maybe but i never played it honestly i might oh i was picturing the one where the monkey kicked the ball no no no this is like original monkey ball it's based off like a nintendo 64 game i want to say before your time yeah i have no idea what that is probably sounds like the rosetta stone to you guys the kid who showed me what do you say willie nice rosetta stone oh you actually had the like the program yeah what'd you learn i my dad used it for when we went to paraguay sorry paraguay oh okay yeah yeah he borrowed it from angela lakinsey our neighbor across the street she had bought you had to buy it it was like 100 or 200 dollars it was like a dvd okay man yeah we get it you have to buy it all right i understand i was

gonna i was gonna tell you guys the kid that downloaded ibeer on my ipod is getting married ibeer oh is he like that's how like we were like children going to his wedding in may wait you you knew the guy who invented either he like he just like we were sitting in my basement and he was like the coolest app the guy who told him about yeah like i'm saying like but he's yeah he downloaded it and i remember just sitting in my sitting in my basement just passing that thing back and forth i just couldn't get enough we were up all night heard the birds in the morning is that your first uh like friend wedding what did you say this summer front like your first this might be one of the first weddings i've ever gone to that's not

that's not an adult yeah not family or something yeah uh we'll enjoy this podcast is brought to you by triple triple is the original high seltzer with three milligrams of thc and just 15 to 20 calories triple offers a social buzz similar to that of your favorite hard seltzer light on calories high on life it's all natural gluten-free and again just 15 to 20 calories willie why triple dude well there's a million reasons to love triple literally i will start with one literally they taste great that might be the best one you know what i mean i love the way it makes me feel i love the way it allows me to drink and participate socially without having to you know featuring alcohol i was playing drinking games a couple weekends ago uh we were

doing a musical flip cup you ever done that pretty fun have i ever played music yeah and guess what you can do that with a triple you can still hang out party with your friends but you don't feel like shit the next day and you can get up and write your great american novel agreed flavors are great 15 20 calories could not be a better hook i know we harp on that a lot 15 to 20 calories is insane yeah name a thing that's 15 calories like a burger no no no not a bird like a celery Salary, maybe? Like a celery burger. Triple, don't look that up.

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on the cards that feels like 30 years away like i don't know i think like our parents were like married around our age now and that feels yeah like when my mom was my age i think my oldest sister had been born my dad was 35 when he got married but my mom was 28 35 35 feels like the right that's legal right yeah i think so i think so they they told me it was legal they said it was totally above board i had to get married in international waters my mom was i was on the phone my mom on friday or something saturday or something some fucking bullshit and like she had she had a moment of being like i was like oh yeah just like hanging out kind of laying low tonight just gonna like yeah i was on friday i was like yeah will's coming over we're gonna play play

board game just kind of lay low and she's like okay uh are you still doing any of the apps or anything are you meeting anyone i was like what what i was like i thought i thought like in my mind she's gonna be like oh that's nice like he's not out partying he's wholesome but then she was like you know maybe you should be going out and meet people parents can't pick a lane they're either exactly that they're either upset that you're partying so much or they're like sad for you because like you're not going out on a friday and saturday like oh you should be you should be going on dates and like thank you you know you're still talking to that girl and how much grinding How did she know me and Will weren't going to plow?

Yeah. Yeah. Did you hit her with that? Yeah. If you saw the way me and Angus play board games, you wouldn't be worried about me. It gets rough. It gets really rough. It is physical.

I live like four blocks away. I can hear it. It's brutal. But passionate. But yeah, I'm going to go on a date soon, I think. Hell yeah, man. What are you thinking? What does that mean?

I don't know. It doesn't mean anything. Yeah, no. I think it's a mentality. Hey, be supportive. I sent a like on Hinge today. Nice. Yeah.

Nice. Nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. Way to go, Will. Thanks, guys. Yeah, that's great. No.

That doesn't matter. Personality guy. He's a personality guy. Yeah. Always has been. And you're pretty frugal with your likes, right? Yeah, I rarely do it. I mostly just check my inbound.

that feels feels wrong yeah you gotta be playing a little offense i know i know well okay the best the best offense is a good defense that's what they say in football i don't know if that necessarily applies to to dating jess are you on any of the apps no not really on the apps in person guy in person guy uh i mean i've been on the apps i uh i just find the dates awkward i uh i feel and i'm not good at like i'm not good at like starting the conversation over text yeah i feel like you're one for one i am one for one one for one that's pretty good i was we were at my mom's uh friend was in town and i brought my girlfriend to brunch with her she was like how'd you guys meet and we were like oh you know hinge and she was like

isn't that the one for isn't that the one where everyone just is like hooking up all the time we're like yeah what do you think we do we're like no i don't think so i think that's like tinder she's like no i heard that one's all about hooking up i think being on tinder now would be a little spooky you know what i actually do think that uh the kind of like uh the meanings for the apps differ from country to country i think that like in uh america hinges like the kind of more like this is where you meet somebody that you're gonna go on a date with it's not just like i think we think tinder is hooking up yeah yeah i think in like the uk it's the other way around really i think or they have like more like the more respectable one is like bumble

um the lady has to make the first and south america i don't think there even is hinge and i think it's like el hinjo i think it's el hinjo uh but wait are we not recording no no no we are that was just the screen but why did it look like we weren't recording at all we're recording it's just the screen like the screen recording stopped i i promise i feel like i've been on fire we can't no yeah there's no way we can replicate that i mean we can try no no no i we could try i uh what do we start with again someone's like someone's like controlling my mouth stocking we're fine i uh i have this app called swipe wipe i've talked about it a bunch that helps me so much it's so great it's so good but it like sorts by month and i was in may of

like 23 a couple days ago and i found a very funny video of chester and i will put it right here chester took me out on my 21st birthday i don't know the video and uh and i don't know who would have been recording this but like it's you know a group of us and then someone like five to six feet away starts taking a flash video of chester bought everyone shots for us to celebrate my birthday and by us he's like mean all my college friends and rusty he didn't know any of it well i just moved out here i was turning 21 and i think chester felt bad that i like didn't have any of my buddies it was like come on man we're gonna go we're gonna go out i thought that was very nice but like chester starts taking a flash video no one or someone takes starts taking a

flash video no one acknowledges it except for chester and he's like confused why none of us are looking at this video and he keeps like pulling their own fight or what it's basically like if someone came up to your group and started taking a flash video like you would think everyone would look at that person yeah we're all like not noticing it but chester keeps looking at the camera being like what are you doing are you oh are you saying that it was like a random person behind like film are you saying that we saw that somebody was filming all of us and in that we saw another person filming us no somehow i have the like original well then it must have been one of my friends uh it couldn't have been somebody random how would you have gotten the video i

don't know someone comes like took this killer video yes i mean maybe i'm gonna get a new mouse someone's like hacking the computer in the screen recording snowden i did a prank on my dad once for april fool's day it's one of my favorite april fool's pranks okay where i i had the same mouse as in like a wireless mouse and i just swapped them and i could see like from my bedroom his desk where he was at work and so he went to do work and then i was just controlling his screen oh that's great that's really good it was classic what if it was like an urgent thing it was like an urgent he's like trying to save our family from like falling into debt wait have you guys seen uh did i show you the video the guy screaming like no

no that's what i picture your dad being like can we like is there we have a segment called this guy rocks that i didn't tell you about that's my guy i'm not the guy i'm nominating what is going on andrew's like hacking the computer to send himself something in the middle of our podcast like remote access of this he was like he was like oh i didn't even notice yeah we noticed yeah tell him to pull up something weird we shouldn't have said anything that was yeah he could have he could have pulled up something really strange there was like there probably still is this software but my mom used to have this thing where she could control her work desktop from her laptop and it would be like a a screen thing but i

didn't know that everyone in this office like had this technology i used to go to my mom's office sometimes after work i was sitting at like you know someone else's desk like waiting for her to be done and the computer started like doing its work i remember being like okay like she's not doing anything i thought like i thought like i was like witnessing like a ghost like do work and then i like went and told my mom that like very like very upset like there's a ghost doing work there's a ghost doing doing a nine to five ghost i know your instinct is to freak out but he's doing a really good job he's doing a really really good job he's literally i'm like so yeah he doesn't give a shit i'm gonna stop doing it i mean it's fine it's exactly um it's exactly

what you're describing i think yeah he's like remote access i used to there was like a it was actually the same the same woman that i was at lunch with uh my mom's friend but they used to work together and her office was right at the bottom of the stairs and i thought she was very pretty when i was a kid and so i'm trying to impress her by launching myself off the stairs right and chicks love that dude they could they pulled that one out of my still works and uh and i'd completely forgotten the story and she told uh the entire table it she was like yeah jack used to come in from like elementary school and you'd hear the you'd hear like the office door like slam you'd hear a backpack drop and then just like an eight-year-old would like fly down the

stairs and then he would like look to see if i like thought she thought it was cool that's awesome wait you would jump down the stairs it was probably like eight stairs okay but she was like he you got really good at like breaking your fall so like hit and kind of like roll out yeah yeah that's sick i mean that's a big feat at that age yeah eight steps yeah yeah it's huge it was awesome it was awesome it should have been there yeah did you guys uh i like the i never i'm what i like the premise of that being like a way to get someone's attention now honestly it still works we have no stairs though yeah doing parkour yeah to get a girl's attention i was more focused on like the launching aspect like i i felt like the harder i fell the velocity would be yeah velocity is a

little sexy yeah impact is sexy it's hot man uh i got a new lego set on the way nice i started one last night what'd you got uh endor speeder chase when luke is not and or and or and i saw not and or and or and or from star wars the planet not the show and or oh there's a difference where the ewoks live that planet is endor okay and there's a guy indoors a place but it's like you know the speeder chase where the ewoks are there and they're like and then they throw like the lines out and they're like yeah it's that awesome you're yeah you see the coolest i know it was really good i'm almost done how many lego sets do you think you've done now in total over 20 probably over 20 i actually just ordered a new dresser for my lego dresser no no dresser

for my bedroom because i've run out of like flat surfaces to put them on wow i have so many trinkets and legos that they there's nowhere to like put anything anymore yeah so i need a better way to showcase them because you like shelves like in there yeah yeah i could do that but Building your own shelves is fun, too. It just feels risky. I have a stud finder, but I don't necessarily trust it. So I'm worried I would put shelves up and then just the drywall would... I mean, I know there's at least three at your place.

Stud finders? Sneak this to one of them, my rose. There's four of you, aren't there? There are four of us. Chester, what's been going on in your life? Yeah, didn't you write a book or something? Yeah, I wrote a book, a self-help book. Did you actually?

No. What has been going on in my life? a new water bottle oh yeah I got a new water bottle for the listeners who can't see it's collapsible my mom bought it for me yeah so my life is kind of fucking

awesome right now that's it just the water bottle when does that come into play I would collapse it for you guys now but there's water in it but my mom just said oh I got it there's a gift in the mail for you I've never asked for a water bottle or anything like this before and yeah

I opened the mail and this little thing was in there And it collapses So again, that's pretty much All that's been going on in my life Things are good in Chester's Where would you put it when you collapse it? Just in my bag The answer to that is anywhere you want

Anywhere you damn please Anywhere I damn please Yeah, it's pretty cool But besides that I've been getting back into tennis Oh nice I've been starting to play tennis again um because the only exercise i do is i run and uh i swim a little bit but i'm trying to

like they're both kind of boring so i want i want to do something where it's a game and i'm playing with somebody and tennis is the only sport that i really and now you have all three for a triathlon tennis swimming and running and running you have to play you have to play a six a six set match at the end do you ever swim in the ocean no but i live like right next to the ocean and it's it's i feel like i'm completely wasting uh my proximity to the ocean by not swimming in it but at the same time venice the venice water just doesn't feel that clean it's not clean and also noah noah hill who's this pro surfer that we're buddies with told me a statistic he was taking me surfing in malibu and we were getting a beer at hanano before and he was on his phone

and he was like oh this is not good and i was like what and he was just like oh nothing i don't i don't want to freak you out but like your imagination what i could imagine is probably way worse than the actual stat so we landed on like he's just gonna tell me and he said 90 something percent of southern california surfers are in quotes accompanied by a shark which means like within like 30 feet or like well or whatever there's probably a shark around 97 was i think what he told me like in in southern california 97 or 90 something 90 something is what what i said well no regardless 90 something most of the time you are you are accompanied by a shark because they i don't know if i believe they're just swimming here right or maybe that's uh the

sharks 30 feet away from you on circuit what 30 feet away from you i think is what i heard lauren look up like like southern southern california surfers accompanied by sharks i mean i that doesn't sound right to me but i don't know i'm not like a an expert on this oh a study by the orange county register found the water users were near sharks 97 of the time so yeah 97 you got it right isn't that insane wait click on that study it might be a quarter of a mile but yeah a quarter of a mile sounds there 30 feet is really close the way the way he paid for it the way he phrased it was like it's not like they're just near you like they're they're swimming near you and they're like you know aware that you're there like there's a shark near you that knows you're there almost

100 of the time you guys ever seen a shark i caught one i've never seen a baby oh you caught one i was fishing in south carolina once and i caught i reeled in i was like kind of fishes that and i was like oh fuck okay all right let's get rid of this thing there was a baby it was a baby yeah like he was able to take it off the hook and throw it back but i got all panicked and i sent the hook through my thumb so i was free yeah uh it was probably like this big but it had the you know that fin on the back is kind of a yeah yeah dude there he he was telling a story no it was telling a story when he was surfing in hawaii uh i don't know if he was at pipeline or jaws or something but he was like at one of these like very famous breaks and the water is extremely

clear when you're sitting there so you can see like right below you he's like we're all waiting in the lineup and a great white swam directly under all of them and like he said like you could feel it on your feet like the shit like leaving their its body and he was like half the guys were just like nope and went in but like all these hawaii locals are like so used to it that they're not scared but he was like it was the biggest thing i've seen in person jesus yeah i don't fuck with sharks i don't either i like little fish yeah little fish are cool i'm just like i i i can surf i'm not very good but i can surf uh and i have been for like four years but i'm still terrified of like as soon as i get out where i can't feel the bottom i like i'm very very like

i don't know apprehensive yeah like it's especially when it's like muddier water and i can't see anything terrifying it is but weirdly like it's kind of part of the thrill for me and maybe it is for a lot of people who surf but yeah it's it's it's a strange like masochistic pleasure in a way agreed to get over to be able to like put that out of your mind is something that i don't know how to do we were sitting in the we were sitting in the water on new year's day this year in florida and uh you're kind of like floating like your feet can like barely touch the the ground and our friend jamie came out and was sitting with us and was like uh yeah i was i was walking on the beach this morning with the dog huge shark like just this far out and we were

like what why would you say that and so everyone like swam back in she was like wow come on we're like no absolutely not yeah see a lot of dolphins yeah a lot of dolphins in the water like um dolphins are cool uh but i've never yeah i've never seen a shark or at least not that not that i know of were you in maine when during that summer where there were a bunch of great white attacks there were like two in one summer i've been there every summer of my life so presumably in some context the story goes there was this woman this older woman like probably like our mom's age like 60 you know in a wetsuit swimming with her daughter who was not in a wetsuit and the woman gets like fucking launched out of the water like something hit her and like

shot her out of the water and then you know she goes under and then like kind of pops back up and so the daughter like flags these kayakers over and they like are gonna bring the mom to shore and apparently the guy looked down as they were like kind of rowing her in like holding her hand and uh she just didn't the bottom half her body just wasn't great white bit her in half and she died uh i yeah reattaching the bottom half of your body to your top half is typically pretty what's the what's the dewey cox line he's like i don't know i haven't seen it like uh this was a this was an unusually difficult case of of somebody being cut in half um yeah that sucks did i ever tell you guys the story about like the

the scuba diver off the coast of perth like western australia path um so this like group of like uh scuba divers went scuba diving 10 miles off the coast of they're 10 15 miles off the coast of perth to see like this reef that was out there and uh everyone surfaced after like an hour they got back on the boat and drove back and like once they got back they realized that they hadn't they had miscounted the head count when everyone came back up there was still a guy out there and he's like 15 miles uh from the coast but he can still just see the coast so he starts swimming towards it and about like according to him because he got he got to shore safe but according to him about 10 minutes in a tiger shark starts following him and he has to like swim backwards watching the shark

but like like poking his head up above the surface to make sure he's still going there towards the towards land and it took him like six hours oh and they'll go back and the shark no no no well they did but he'd already started swimming he's gone they can't find him like he's like he's he's already like taking it like upon himself to be i have to like i have to get back before it gets dark oh my god um and he for like six hours is just like watching the shark come close to him back away come close back away like circle him fully uh and it doesn't do anything he gets all the way to shore but for six hours he thinks he's gonna get like maul to death tiger sharks are like the ones that like like yeah they're very aggressive we'll like try and

fuck a human up like most are like curious but it's not they're not like actively pursuing like i think tiger sharks are ones that like don't care yeah it feels like a like a 20 27 hours movie or something or like a like a life of pie but like actually happened that's terrible yeah it's crazy what was the guy that it was a similar situation where they missed the head count and these guys had either like the rip current or whatever had blown them like kind of further away from like the the boat than they they popped up and they were way further away from the boat than they thought and their their gopro is just showing the boat like leaving you imagine like that sounds suck i actually can't think of a worse i can't think of a worse way to die than having to tread

water till you your body gives out i think that is probably like in the ocean not knowing like in the like yeah arrow waves arrows yeah like you're shot by arrows oh yeah arrows would suck yeah how did you think we were going to come to that conclusion no but i don't know what i knew you're talking about and then another one like it would take like 50 arrows like an english long bow just coming over the top yeah uh arrows are pretty bad that's a good one dude we were learning about uh so we're reading this book called uh a wide wide they're the wide wide sea we as in like the book club that club we're not a part of but some of our other co-workers he's been invited he's been invited multiple times you've been invited at least this is this is the one that

you guys do on company time while the rest of us are working correct the one on thursdays at 10 when we're supposed to be at 10 and you guys go off off-site and talk about a book i don't know what you're talking you like the head of production the head of like our finances really important people that we need to talk to you guys all do the executives and me yeah and kate that's the book club you're talking about right that one okay yeah and uh it's called the wide wide the wide wide sea by hampton sides and uh basically that's a good name awesome hampton sides insane but like apparently so it's about james captain james cook and they're talking about you know his third voyage and they mentioned that like most most like mariners at the time or like guys who

were part of like you know the navy or like worked on these like ships whatever uh most of them like didn't know how to swim and it which like seems insane but apparently the reason they a lot of were scared to learn how to swim is they said like if you fell overboard especially back then it was just like probably not come you're probably not getting back on board and so they were like it's better to just not know how to swim die instantly oh interesting then like fight it and die yeah i mean that's great that's crazy but yeah yeah they would also like if a guy fell overboard they'd be like well no it was like they basically had like 40 seconds these ships that that you'd you'd be so far away from the ship and like these old ones it would take so long

to like tack back or like it was just like if unless they got you the second you fell over like your chances go down exponentially like the longer they wait so if if you're gone for more than 45 seconds like they're not getting you which is insane that sounds like the worst yeah the worst way to die this these we're also learning about like the cook was really into like hazing the boys so like there this is still give them like lineups i think this is like still a tradition in the in the british navy but when you cross the equator if you had if you hadn't crossed the equator yet uh they would like dunk you they put all the boys in like a net and just like dunk like dunk them in the water like like well while they were crossing the equator that

sounds a little fun which is fun for guys to know how to swim but like if you're putting a putting a bunch of semen in a net and dunking them that don't know how to swim. It's a rite of passage, man. You put a bunch of semen

in a net. You want to be part of the brotherhood. You got to go through. To put it this way, it was not uncommon for them to lose a guy. Oh, wow.

But he was like this no-nonsense guy in pretty much every walk of life. Fraternities should start doing that. They should start dunking. All right,

we're going to the equator. Going to the aquarium. but like he that was like one one part of his life where he like uh like enjoyed to have fun like they read his he's going to the coolest parts of the world and you read his journal and it's just about like barometer pressure and stuff like he didn't like really take in any of the sites yeah but then like when when they got that when they got james down to the equator got like seven a seven page entry on the dunking his favorite his favorite that's awesome yeah uh oh and if you didn't want to take part in the dunking they would just take

your rum ration for the week so you got no you got no rum oh that sounds that's i feel like that's all you had yeah that feels like that's all those guys have let's be honest you take their rum away it gets it gets depressing very quickly quickly they'd be jumping off faster than you could dunk him you tell him that the guy doesn't even get in the net he just launches himself overboard did i tell you about the fender bender i got in no last weekend on your bike you don't have a car no i wasn't driving i wasn't driving i was like wait i was like you use my car no no my stoplight you're just on foot punching someone's like bumper no no no when i was my friends were my friend katya drove up from san diego and she was driving us and we were going to griffith

observatory we got in a fender bender and the guy in front of us gets out of the car and it is a little he's a dwarf i'm not kidding he gets it's like an actual dwarf and he comes up we i like got out of the car because she was like rattled and i was in the passenger seat so i got up and i was like hey sorry he goes i'm not happy and i said well which one are you then nice did you actually none of that's real you mean that it's a joke it's a joke

that's pretty good I was so excited to hear the rest of the story yeah I was excited to see how you're gonna handle the situation but yeah

I was picturing like he like he gets up and walks inside your car and you can't see him but you just see like a hand reach up and like knock on the window

no I'm sorry I've thought of that after we had a car discussion oh did you make that joke up no my dad told it to me once

okay he's a king of the slams is katya your real friend katya is a real friend she was at your house oh you met her yeah she had a mustache on oh yes yes yes yeah a cartoon she didn't have a mustache it was a cartoon mustache right it's a cartoon mustache rusty do your balls stink not anymore tell me about why well recently i got into mando oh i use the whole body dio every nook you got it right there because i got some right here too. I got the cream kind. Every nook and cranny of my body is getting lathered in this. I love the scents that Mando use. I love the packaging. I love the way it

makes me feel. I can walk around all day without that worry of like, do people smell my body right now? When I have Mando on, no worries. I have absolutely no worries. I'm confident that I'm covered for the foreseeable future. Willie, what do you think makes Mando unique? I think there's a lot of reasons i would say the number one is the whole body element of the deodorant for so long our brains have been trained to think that deodorants only for targeted areas danger zones maybe like the pits nope this goes on the balls this goes in my belly button this goes in my butt crack i mean honestly my butt crack probably smells worse than my fucking armpits god pardon my language so i should be putting something there mando's starter pack is perfect for new

customers it comes with a solid stick deodorant cream tube deodorant two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes and free shipping as a special offer for our listeners new customers get five dollars off a starter pack with our exclusive code that equates to over 40 off your starter pack use code playdate at shopmando.com s-h-o-p-m-a-n-d-o.com please support our show and tell them that we sent you smell fresher stay drier and boost your confidence from head to toe with mando all right guys we are here to talk about one of our new favorite partners dollar shave club guys it is no surprise that facial hair is personal it grows from your face we all grow it shave it and style it differently and we think that's pretty freaking

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slept with their boyfriend's dad yeah legend wait what that's that's why i'm worried about bringing my dad to the bacardi party um there i've never understood this but this is like the second or third time this happened we're like something will happen at one of these sec schools that like is very like interesting but it doesn't seem like it would be like national news yeah and then it like blows up basically this girl this sorority girl at old miss uh went out to they were going to her boyfriend's little brother's hockey game or something one of one of her little brothers uh games and the dad took her and i think i heard hockey is what i why i said that um but uh the boyfriend's not there the dad and the girlfriend go out to mexican dinner after uh the

game and apparently this guy's a pro yeah apparently got her a couple margaritas they went back to his place and then had sex in his son's bed oh my god and all these like texts got leaked about him like saying like weird stuff like i want to do it where my son and you do it like weird stuff and uh now everyone's venmoing the boyfriend like hundreds of dollars being like keep your head up king oh god isn't that awful that actually i mean like his life is ruined his life had all of their lives the boyfriend's life isn't necessarily ruined but the the well it is because there's oh his family life yeah but the girlfriend and the and the dad yeah but the boyfriend i mean sure he lost his dad and irreparably damaged his family but he probably got like what two grand or

something out of all the venmos he got a lot but like what if you're her oh my god what do you do well you can't stay at that school no yeah she can she can i think she'll be fine she can move on and be fine like she can she can escape that story the family i don't want to be part of the family it's the dad yeah i don't think the girl i don't think the girlfriend can escape that story is is is it that big of a story i mean every she also like this guy was like a like older dad and she looked like like she was like 18 or 19 like this is like i guess technically it's legal but like the dad is 95 at fault oh no no yeah totally uh i don't know that that's the girl and that's the dad he's like disgusting oh wow poor k when i first read this headline or like someone

sent it in like one of our slack channels i thought it was a olmos student hooked up with her dad so i was like freaking out definitely also that's way worse but that that's that's That's every day at Ole Miss, though. Less ramifications, though, if it's within the family. Yeah, that's true. Got to keep the bloodline strong. Yeah, I'm going to go 100% this guy's fault. Everyone's, like, friending the dad on LinkedIn, though.

Is that a thing that you get, like, fired for? I mean, yeah. Depends on who your boss is. Bad publicity, you can get fired for that if it brings attention to your company in a bad way. Why, you got something to say? that's something i could get fired for yeah it's yeah oh god you snap you snapchat as well that's insane so he's a he works at commercial commercial oh yeah no he's 100% fired yeah no way wealth management oh oh he looks so nice too oh my god and then to top it out his profile

picture the boyfriend's profile picture he's wearing a shirt that says daddy's home oh god it's the perfect storm oh then they stayed together apparently like this happened a while ago and now it's just coming out and they like stayed together after he found out can't be true no there's no way no way don't shoot the messenger that's just what i just what i heard i'm shooting the messenger i'm gonna go to town on the messenger i mean in a way like if they did get back together that's almost like a happier ending than like true love prevails yeah like i don't know what makes me sadder think about think about think about your girlfriend sleeping with your dad you'd never talk to that person again

i'd be insane yeah i know i know that's yeah i agree we're normal people we're normal guys uh all right the best show on reality television is coming back survivor nope whose family's biggest march 12th march 12th temptation island is back it is the great if you haven't seen it it is the greatest reality show i've ever called chester it's hosted by mark walberg mark l walberg okay um who honestly this this might be a hot take he's he's in my mind in the same neighborhood as jeff prost no dude watch temptation island no like even it doesn't matter how good he is oh he doesn't have like the leg he doesn't have like the legacy or like he hasn't been around a lot jeff probst is the best i think mark doing it

look look mark walberg's been around longer than jeff mark l mark l walberg dude jeff probst has been the host of survivor since 2001 yeah i think he's been doing shows since like the 90s and and jeff probst has written and directed a movie starring ryan reynolds yeah that show is really good i've watched it have you guys watched this so funny they take couples they're not allowed to like they lose they hook up right no that's too hot to handle okay so temptation island they take couples they put the men in one house and the women in the other and then they flood it with uh just hot horny co-eds of the opposite sex and they go all right don't hook up with any of them and then every week they show the person

significantly other what their partner has been up to and some of them are good some of them are like you know just like partying their balls off and then the others are having like sex with other people is it uh is that the montoya thing so that's like the spanish version of it have you seen that video chester uh it's the saddest thing i've ever seen is it the one where he's watching his girlfriend have sex under the blanket and it's like i've seen it it's from like the spanish yeah spanish or some portuguese or something portuguese yeah but they uh oh my god yeah that that was that was pretty wild that was like crazy monkey sex under the yeah like it didn't even seem like that could like air on television i don't know if i saw that clip there's one where it's

just like yeah they're going and then he like gets he like falls to his knees and he's like oh i haven't seen that i haven't seen he screams his own name oh wait oh wait so it's not like a reference to inigo montoya no no his last name is montoya and then the announcer is like montoya and he's like no he runs away i think he's running to her like villa yeah he like thinks it's happening live yeah all right i haven't seen that clip i think i've seen another one where same show. Can we watch that, Lauren? Google Montoya, por favor.

It is truly... It was like the saddest I've been in a while. Just watch it, Justin. Montoya, por favor, happened again! This guy had to watch his girl get railed on television again! This is

fucking sick folks this is crazy this is like game of thrones reek level torture this guy has now watched his girl get absolutely pulverized on television twice it's insane for anyone to have to watch the girl sleep with someone else and that's not even what's happening here man this girl is getting bombarded all right this is like some jurassic i don't like the way he's talking he's a little too into it i want to see him like react did you hear barrage the clapping happening in that video wait i want to see i want to see him like collapse on the ground yeah no he's not yelling his own name your girlfriend you get cheated on so hard you

yell your own last name go to x go to x collins i'm not logged in like i don't you have i don't think you have to be but it could be he could be like yeah he could be yelling his own name like you idiot like why why why do you put yourself through this oh yeah much this is perfect wait wow it's been wiped off the face of the internet wow i mean it's it's borderline porn so that makes sense that's why i was like no the first clip's not as bad though they're just making out the first that one was was it the same guy was the same guy yeah yeah same okay first one was like they were making out and then he ran away and she was like montoya por favor and he was like so is that not common on the show that they end up having is like every yeah yeah that's a good

point wait what does this not happen all the time i mean i have seen all five seasons that are available right now of the english version and like yes you see so like they're aware they're being filmed so like when they do have sex with someone else like they try and be like a little bit discreet like you could you could claim like you know we weren't having sex under the covers that was like clear sex yeah um but no if you're under the covers with someone anyway yes but they'll be like you know we were doing they'll like soften the blow exactly a cool element of the game would be like some sort of like challenge every episode where like somebody like wins like a shield or an immunity idol where they could they have like five minutes the cameras can't

be on them for five minutes they can do whatever they want yeah you just see you just see someone grab like the audience the audience sees but like yes they have like immunity from like what the other house can see okay yeah i'm just picturing like you being on the show and like your girlfriend and cheats on you and you're like, Dan Ellen! Dan Ellen! You're breaking

your family's lineage. Should we RM it up? Yeah, should we roadmap it up? Yes. Roadmap. This is where he tells us what we're going to get

into this episode. Oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's been on the show. Well, no, I just, you know, I can't keep up with all the acronyms or initialisms. Roadmap.

All right. Played it episode... Oh, I was just going to say, yesterday, Chester came to my office. He's like, so do you want me to like prep a bunch of like different segments for tomorrow? Do you want to just like riff it off the cuff?

We can just like riff it off the cuff. If you want to do that, I'll just rip off the cuff. We can, I'm good to rip off the cuff. You know what I mean? Yeah. That was the tone of it.

I'm glad I clearly didn't conceal it very well, but I got some, I got some stuff. Oh no, we're going to do it. 84 year old Randy Moss. Oh, number 84 Antonio Brown.

All right. Wait, what? Oh, how can we not talk about family when family's all that we get? Nice. And now do Antonio Brown. And then, Chester, you have to come up.

Wait, what? What is going on? Do you know anyone who is either number 84 or 84 years old? Martin Short, age. I don't think he's that old. Oh, really? Am I penalized if I'm wrong? Yes.

I thought so. High stakes game. That's why I like coming on here. Of course I am. You guys keep me on my toes. Lorne Michaels. age well obviously number nope 84 84 christopher walken oh i started sevens um two episodes in uh you liking it yeah yeah awesome yeah i thought you would it's yeah it's killer it's sick he's in

he is that's you're right he is he is in it is he a main character he is i don't know yet don't spoil it so far he's like kind of i don't know if he's the main character well he's not the main character but he's a supporting main character yeah if finding out that he was the main he said is he she said is he a main character i've only seen him appear one scene so i don't know um all right we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches and then willie is gonna do it's his turn to do the permitting division of the building department did you even do your homework oh wait i actually have a girl dm me that her uh her dad when the socks won in 04 him and his buddies spray painted the cul-de-sac into a giant

red socks logo and like apparently the whole town loves it and we should she gave us his number and we could call and say we have to remove it and it's still a logo yeah i mean maybe they do some touch-ups every year i almost got out of it um segment and then we are going to do everyone's favorite segment this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today and then we're gonna do teach me me something something followed by a classic sayings that don't exist and then we're going to end it with soccer teams that don't exist wow yeah you're gonna run the chester gauntlet should have started this earlier that's a lot of stuff yeah some of them are quick all right um yeah here's some pitches pitches all right or willie do you want to get the permanent

i didn't know about this part all right they didn't prep me uh well enough i asked them what they wanted they gave me two assignments one and neither of them were this so uh i'll just chime in where i see fit did you bring you just brought the drafts well yeah i brought sayings and uh soccer teams do you have a number and stuff yeah all right do you want me to read it to you willie or do you want to just do it right now yeah wait can i yeah what's it say after the red socks won the 04 world series my dad and his friends painted a giant red socks logo in the center of our cul-de-sac it's basically the thing he's most proud of to this day and the entire town loves it please call him to say that it has to go in some capacity he will 100 fight you guys on it

Okay, that's pretty good. His name's Bob, and then the phone number's down there. Okay. Wait, what is it? He painted the Red Sox logo. Yeah. I'm going to tell him he has to get rid of red. It can just be socks.

It can't be colors. Red is like, yeah, it's misleading for traffic. That's good. Do you want to do it? No, you got it. Sure. Is there a world where we can tag team it? Or would that be too confusing?

i'm gonna bring in my partner like he he knows i'll see if i can you want to do it all right yeah sure so i'm saying hey bob this is matt from the permitting division of the building department that's always our intro permit wait the what permitting division of the building department hey matt or hey you're bob hey bob this is that bob no what is it oh my god do we not have his name bob you do it you do it okay and if i feel uh compelled to to chime in i'll tap you on the shoulder you can pass it off okay yeah come on bob No.

This guy's taking us for a ride. I'm sorry. The person you were trying to reach... We'll call him next week. Don't burn it. Okay. All right. We're going to try this guy again next episode.

Unless he calls me back. Sometimes that happens. Okay. Lauren, should we hear some pitches? Pitches. I was excited for that one. I know. Yeah, me too.

Okay. maybe you can try calling me at the end of the episode yeah all right first pitch is from lou gillett galette he says gillett's disease come on too easy come on um what is the worst part about meeting your mates at sporting events or live music shows uh finding them in the in the crowd if one guy has the tickets oh okay yeah um you spend ages on the phone to them trying to find them only for them to finally wave you down after a few excruciatingly anxious seconds of searching introducing the crowd finder app simply enter your arena and pull out your phone the app will scan the crowds and using an old photo of your

buds for reference it will point out in the crowd where they're sitting or standing even thinking of testing out a crowd finder singles app if you're going solo to a show it'll find someone who's got a similar vibe or excitement level to yours so you can kick it with some new friends um love from across hemispheres lou wow i like that a lot so are you you're holding your camera up and it'll like highlight them and you like sprint towards them yeah i think you should like stick it on your forehead i call me crazy i feel like they're already doing this really yeah i feel like yeah i know it makes you sick doesn't it uh i feel like phones are already like like you know i have like an like a in my photos app it's already like broken down albums of specific people oh yeah

and like i feel like they're already like registering your face immediately and everyone's face around you yeah how would that help you find your buddy in a concert uh okay yeah no i mean just just that just that leg of the idea i guess but although you can if you look at like find my friends it gets like yeah but you don't have service true i guess it like in the office sometimes i'll be like where's rusty and i'll look at find my friends i'll be like i can tell exactly what part of the office he's in or like which bathroom i feel like we have like a marauder's map because i'll get to look at find my friends and i can like see someone like moving around like one room yeah or like if i'm waiting for someone at the airport sometimes i'll like gauge

if they like where they are in the airport uh and you can see them like stopping their insecurity no no no yeah uh but yeah this would be great yeah maybe shoot like a hologram into the sky yes yeah it goes that noise yeah and like something that like maybe you can like if it's for like the singles like or meeting like single people uh would there be like a profile attached so you see the person or would it would it just just be like walk 12 steps to your right and there's a single person of the opposite sex if that's what you're into you're like hello yeah yeah you're like are you the is it just a total surprise when you get there oh like you want a picture i want a picture you want to know if they're beat or not what the hell

man no i want to know if they're hot or not i want to know i'm kidding uh it's no way to talk about i'm totally joking man but yeah that's a good idea Love it. Thank you. Thank you, Lou. Next pitch is from Alex Gavlack. Gavlack. Is it?

Is it? Oh. Is this it? Just answer it. Alabama? Just do it. Okay. I think this is a different number.

No, it might be from there. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hi. Yes? Hi. Do you hear me?

Yeah. Hello. This is Sarah calling regarding your existing credit card. We've been reviewing your payment history and are pleased to inform you. So the Red Sox circle and I'm joking. It's a rope. Yeah. Yeah.

She sounded like she was in pain. She was either turned on or in a cage. What are the odds I get a phone call like right after? I never get phone calls. I put my ringer on though in case he does call back. All right. that sucked why because you thought i thought it was gonna be bob oh or i thought maybe she was single yeah that's what i thought hello hello is there anyone out there i'm so busty

it's like floating it's not like she had spoken to anybody years i only got a signal putting two wires together in the middle of the mojave desert it'd be like a nightmare like thriller movie where like these two people are stranded and then they finally get through to someone it's like a joke podcast yeah well the red sox all right that was good all right he's got an email that it's time for our annual review process over the company yeah nice bring it on bitches all right alex says what is the worst part about eating a bowl of snacks or appetizers with a group of people like feeling self-conscious for taking too much yes that's definitely having to pace yourself

even though you're really excited about the snacks that just came out okay he says someone always ruins it for everyone by taking more than their fair share into the other side of what you're saying introducing the chip wire plan trip wire this is a system that can be hooked up to any bowl that involves a wire along the top of the bowl and sensor wristbands that you must wear the chip wire will keep track of how many times you've reached for the bowl compared to everyone else if you've grabbed too many chips your wristband will shock you an alarm an alarm will play notifying the group that you're that you've already eaten your share of the bowl this not only saves food for the rest of the group but it exposes that sneaky person who's always hogging

the chips i like how convoluted it is i feel like this is an episode of like nathan for you i just i'm the guy yeah it's gonna go off it's a little close to home because i am that guy too yeah uh and i i don't want that to be regulated but i think that is a a good idea yeah it's like fatty fatty yeah it does that like that feels like too much i mean yeah i mean from the tripwire no but i feel like what i think what rusty's trying to say is that there should be like an element of shame and like you should be shamed into not doing it you there should be you should be penalized for he looks shamed i know hey what's up man what happened i was just trying i know i had your back i was trying to add to it and

sometimes it feels like when i try and add things to the pitches uh you guys just shut them down me guys yeah i had your back this doesn't happen when you're not here oh i thought it was gonna be like an awesome addition to the thing and it felt the opposite of that. Kind of how I feel about having him on the podcast. It felt like I was ruining everything about the thing. You guys didn't tell me Crocodile

Tears was part of a program. Love Elton John. You guys both were tearing up there. Pretty good, right? Crocodile Tears. Crocodile Tears, new segment. Where you make your hosts feel horrible.

I make my hosts feel horrible every weekend. I make my hoes feel... I make them hoes feel horrible. No, don't bring him around. He makes the hoes feel horrible. He's always making the hoes feel horrible. He makes the hoes feel awful.

Man. Alright. Next pitch? Do you think we make the hoes feel awful? Sometimes. Okay. Maybe. Do we make you feel awful? No.

what do you how many how many uh people how many how do you decide how many pitches there are two just two just two played it is brought to you by our good friends over at twisted tea twisted tea is a refreshing hard ice tea made with real brewed tea and five percent alcohol guys it tastes like real tea because it's made with real brewed tea big uh big plus for me not carbonated yes it goes down smoothly twisted tea is actually the perfect beverage to keep the good times going all day long uh whether i am kicking it with my friends playing a game at my house or whether i am out on the beach dare i say uh it's almost that time of year twisted tea is just there to turn things

up a notch and make sure i'm having a good time i want to say they sent us these look at these blocks they sent us unreal that's how you know that's love they send us little blocks like our blocks because we tried to make a word out of our blocks and the closest we got was lore lore lore my favorite flavor is that i love the arnold palmer one agree the half and half if you will and maybe arnold palmer is illegal to say i think it's a good tailgate like start the day if you have like a 12 p.m kickoff down a few tweets beforehand guys grab a refreshing twisted tea today let's get back into the episode what is the worst part about comforters uh having to like tie the duvet in the corners what's the second worst part because that is

the worst part um oh they get the easily wrinklable one word wrinkled um when you wash it and having to put your comforter back in what was the question what's the worst part about comforters you can't you say it with me too hot you can't get inside them sometimes when i'm under the comforter i feel like it's not there's like you know there's a breeze coming from the right there like my i feel my feet feel exposed at the end yeah i want a comforter that is built like a sleeping bag and so there's like an opening in the middle you can slip in get real nice and cozy it's like sealed on all sides so you don't have to like do that thing where you like kick it up and it goes under your feet and then now you're like sealed in and then if you want to just use it

like a normal comfort you can just get under it like a normal comfort but on the inside there's like fur and stuff and you like slip nice and oh god get in there it's awesome it's like a sleeping bag i don't like that's what i was gonna say nothing like a sleeping bag okay it's different it's different it's okay oh i like it now that you say it's different it's now i'm interested it's still a comforter on the outside like it's you can use it like a normal blanket but on the inside you can slip into it i like when you're able to like so it's like a sleeping bag that you can also just put on top of yourself but it's like a it's not like sleeping bag material on the outside it's so comfortable because i think with a sleeping bag you can also unzip it and it does

just become a blanket sorry wait no that's not a sleeping bag at all okay yeah that's good uh all right i got another pitch car with wheels that go side to side too so you can change lanes without needing like buffer space what like all right you have car that turns no the wheels go side to side so the car itself would actually never need to turn right because you can go backwards forwards sideways wait that's like the new like new cars do that really like all four wheels go like this you can like pull up to a space like perpendicular not fully but like it like crab this one's good okay this one would be fully for like parallel parking you just go up and then you turn them on then you go that would be awesome that's what these new cars do fully i mean

you pull up like at an angle and then it just goes cool mine's not at an angle there's dead on the car would never his car would never have to turn what you're saying the wheels the wheels have like a full 360 access access if you were driving and your wheels are now at a 90 degree angle your car would there's a steering wheel at each side yeah no it's incredibly dangerous you have to you have to get your like a whole new license for this kind of car you can't drive this car with a normal license or the wheels are like balls square and there's a steering wheel on each side and so when you go when you take a right turn you just get what i'm saying is if you're driving and you wanted to switch lanes you would still just

have to do it normally because if it turned if all of them turned this way the car would flip over and if you're stuck in traffic these wheels are me correct me if i'm wrong these wheels also they uh they have like poles that can extend up and you can go over other no that's that wasn't your idea last episode cars that jump there is there was like have you seen that guy that he was like i've created the first flying car in like msnbc or he got something he got some big news outlet to like fly and like they were gonna do it like a uh segment on it on like this guy has finally cracked flying cars and he just built a giant drone and then put like a car facade over it and it was so and he wouldn't

let them he said he's like reporters were not allowed within 50 yards of the vehicle it like looks like a car if you're if you're a hundred and he looks like a guy that's scamming you yeah well we will flying car when when were the when was this dude flying car the show the jetsons what year is that based in yeah are we already past these maybe no no no it was like it was made in the like 70s oh i don't know it's like yeah look at it just it's just like like the wheels don't do anything wait aren't you in that what the jetsons wait look up what year was the job man based in lauren wait what am i what year was the jetsons based can i get the jetsons by john molyneux i didn't get jetsons

2062 oh i mean there's a real possibility that that's uh i mean i think we can get there i think get to flying cars by 2062 yeah yeah right with ai anything's possible yeah we could get that's it ugly uh i got way too close how do you how do you how do you get within 50 yards i don't know that's a good question all right behind him too wait what oh this guy rocks this guy rocks I got to get this guy rocks. How do I get it? How do I send it in? This guy rocks today.

All right, Lauren, pause this immediately. And I mean, immediately. Wait, did you guys? Yeah, you both pitched yours, right? Yeah. Okay, this is a guy named All The Round. Okay. I followed him the other day.

He actually sent me a DM. But he gives advice to, you know, young men who are kind of looking to up their game with the ladies. and one of my favorite segments that he does is um he gives you a prompt a thing that a woman would say to you and then he tells you what the nice guy would say and then he tells you uh the right masculine answer got it so let's watch this is for when she says you are too old for me shit test time oh but you're too old for me mr nice guy answer oh really i mean that sucks but i understand right masculine answer sure the best wine are the old ones but actually i don't think

you are capable to handle it anyway shit says time oh but you're too oh so this guy's like a creeper this guy answer oh really i mean that sucks but i understand right masculine answer sure the best wine are the old oh wait the best wine yeah no that's insane he well the best wines are the old one but oh the best one he really didn't mean wine how'd you find this guy only 2 000 followers he's i got i'm i'm i'm aware of what's happening in the streets you say he's he dm'd me uh what did he say let's actually let's read it rusty thanks for the follow and the support welcome to the community i noticed you're into men's self-development and dating we recently put together a guide the 35 magnetic conversation openers to spark instant conversation

connection with women from first dates to deep relationships want a free copy or do you know someone who might benefit from it you should send that to angus did you respond nope fair enough but uh yeah that guy rocks yeah wait that guy that guy fucking rocks if you're an alva all the round if you're a young gentleman out there looking to learn how to talk about women uh check this guy out alvaro alvaro all right chester show us who rocks man oh yeah just selling in this guy this guy rocks he needs no introduction oh i love this video do you want to give an explanation for the audience um yes so uh uh for the listeners this is uh i don't know who this guy is but it's a piece of voyeurism he's filming his dad

frustrated with his his tivo or something something on tv he's lost something on the tv and his dad's very upset about it and he's filming from like the other room i don't think his dad does not know he's filming oh no i fucking deleted it oh my god help me help me help me god oh my god i deleted it oh my god i fucking deleted it No, no, no, no, how do I get it back, oh god, how do I get it back, how do I get it back, oh, oh, oh my god, I fucked myself in the ass, I can't believe I deleted it, oh my god, Oh, my God! Oh, God, help me.

Oh, God, help me. Oh, God, help me. Oh, my God! What did he delete? Yeah, so, that's great. When you, like, opened Instagram and, like, a good reel you were watching, like, refreshes. That was the top comment. What does it say?

he's trying to steal the oh no is that why you said that no oh wow 91 000 you could have had 91 000 likes dude what do you like is there anything in the world that you could delete from your tv that would make you that mad like what could he have on the tv that's the best part is that we just don't know what it is but uh i hope it's not as long as it's not like a wedding tape or like a personal memory like if it was something from he's like tivo then it's hilarious but if it was like a personal memory or like a video of the dog or something that would be sad maybe he recorded like he couldn't watch the super bowl and he recorded it and wanted to watch it the next day my dad does that all the time yeah sports what if it was just like like a random episode of

deadliest catch that he loved oh no i fucked myself in the ass it's that first like ah yeah it's insane it's like amazing oh this is a guy i don't know anything about this where is he it's kind of like a bar i think there's like touch tunes behind him the butt heavy and the like margarita butt heavy margarita like a deep cut from the new taylor swift album i do videos like this even get like gain traction 60 000 likes oh that's crazy that guy rocks that guy rocks that guy rocks all of our guys rock that was this guy rocks that's why we're here should we do uh should you teach me something oh yeah this is teach me something do you have anything you want to teach us oh no i didn't know this is part of you guys did not

it was part of it last time you did not i thought you listened to the episodes i do you told me listen to every episode i do but like have you ever watched an episode of planet yes my episode uh yeah i watched that whole episode um all right i like the clips i'm more of a clips guy yeah i love your clips like clip farming are you guys familiar with the phrase my bad my bad do you know who invented it i think i do but i don't want to ruin it is that bad if i answer i don't i don't either uh minute bull when he came to the nba had like a very limited knowledge of like the english language and he didn't know the phrase my fault and so whenever he would like fuck up on the court he was like my bad my bad and uh it caught on like just on the warriors team but then

like those guys played so much basketball that like other teams heard it when they were playing them and it like caught like wildfire and now it's like a very common phrase that is awesome that is really cool to be awesome to be the guy who came up with a phrase that is like one of the most used phrases in the english language my bad i bet i bet 0.001 percent of people know that he invented it you know what i mean yeah you would think that that also very rarely do you get to know like the exact origin of like a phrase yeah i mean yeah that's true who knows are we sure like he maybe he heard that from somebody else for all we know yeah he claims he claims he made it up when was this was he in the nba in like the 80s 90s 80s 90s yeah i saw i also i just saw this like

this week it was like do you see on tiktok maybe i mean i don't mean that i also know he read it in a dictionary that's what dictionaries do um when's the last time you guys had your hands on dictionary a yo pause a couple years ago uh i don't know my friend liam and i used to get really bored in the library like during study hall liam no who's liam it's kind of like a almost friday universe joke there no my friend liam who fun fact about liam i don't want to dox him they moved to our town from dc and uh lived in a very very nice house and uh every anytime you ask him what his parents did he like didn't know or he was like very good at lying and we think that his parents were cia agents because they mysteriously moved from from uh dc

we never totally knew what they did and uh i never really saw them at all interesting or magicians yeah our house in uh well because then he'd be embarrassed to tell you what they did and they could vanish that's true it's a good point uh our house in in maine uh used to be like a safe house for or they think it used to be a safe house for like either cia guys or like fbi guys because we bought it from like a government trust or something and then the uh the kind of an oxymoron yes singer and all of our neighbors say that uh that he was very good friends with all the like military guys but they didn't know much about him interesting not odd yeah maybe they like wrote a deal there or something but then every time like once you know that you think like

everything in the house is like a like a gadget or something like all the books bookcase open the door we like moved in and there was like the smallest like it's a it's a log cabin so like there are like little like pinholes and stuff that go to the outside just from like where in tarot it's like a hundred year old house so like we there was like this tiny little pinhole in the wall and my stepmom was like it's a spy hole she was like he was definitely using that to like look out it just goes directly into the woods like there would be like nothing over there but she was like yeah he definitely like sat here and you know it was like looking out for people spy hole right next to the window right next to the bathroom

it goes right to the shower from like my parents better you caught your dad from the spies i was spying on you uh making sure you weren't doing any covert ops all right i got one do you know about the 1956 uh summer olympics no uh no they were in sydney mate oh were they yeah where chester's from yeah born there right yeah born and raised uh so the they had like they had you know like the whole like thing where they do like pass the torch and they like go like crazy distances with this torch and like have people and then it ends up at the end uh these like college kids in sydney decided uh to just like fuck around and basically they jumped in at one of the points where like the torch person was supposed to be coming through and just had made

their own torch which they'd like hastily painted that day and then put a underwear full of kerosene on top and lit it and then had their buddy dress up like a cop and ride on a scooter behind them as like an escort and this lady just started running through the streets with the torch and their buddy was on the scooter and like no one was really buying it but like people are laughing and it was kind of funny and then the underwear full of kerosene fell off and there was like a big scuffle and like we're not like scuffle but like sort of like scene and like people started coming in to see what was happening and one of the other guys who had been like sort of on the sideline that was like another friend of theirs was wearing a suit and his buddy was

like they got the torch back together but the there was too much of a crowd around like the lady and everyone knew that it was a joke so he just told the guy in the suit he was like just take it and run you go go and so the kid took it and ran and that time everyone actually believed that it was the guy and so like people on the side started cheering and the police actually joined in and escorted this random guy all the way to the end where it was like the mayor or like i don't know president of australia or some shit was there and he like handed the torch to him and the guy like took it and got paint all over his hands and then didn't know what was happening and went to deliver his like address to the nation and was like delivering his address to

the nation with a kerosene soaked underwear and then someone came up and like whispered and he was like actually this is a hoax and then the real person came like an hour later that's awesome isn't that awesome yeah i love that those aussies fun those aussies they are mischievous bunch mischievous mischievous mischievous yeah um so that's fun that's great yeah that was a great story thank you thank you very much that's elvis oh that's good yeah elvis nice man elvis elvis elvis prebs prebly i don't have anything to teach guys i'm sorry what's up no you told me that word earlier tell me about that word oh surreptitious to do surreptitious i got a script and he was like

what's the word i'm going for surreptitious i don't think it's like we should put that in there yeah it's gonna cause more confusion uh to do something like secretly uh to do something surreptitiously secretly there you go surreptitious something yeah wow great now we can get into our drafts and chester's the guest and now you're ready do i i start or no which one you want to start with you will start um let's go with the soccer teams okay these are soccer teams that don't exist these are soccer teams that don't exist oh my up first okay yeah these are the tipsy gypsies 11 belligerent peddlers from the north of england who really know their way around a pitch now quick warning these guys are known for foul play and trickery for instance when the

ball's in their possession they'll often hide it under a big cup and shift it around a couple times and make the opposition guess where the ball is love that that's great i i've got cooking ham fc oh nice i loved it thank you that's good uh the hilltop warrior club oh okay Sorry, I have explanations for all of mine. I'll explain this one. You do not want to play at their home pitch because their side is at the top of a hill.

There's like a little plateau. So they're running full speed down it at you. But then at half, you get to enjoy the benefits of it. That's good. So maybe you do want to play. Or they don't do half times there. Full 90 minutes. Full 90 minutes on one side.

You know so. um all right i got homes and watson fc okay every single guy on the team is named either homes or watson it's incredibly confusing for the opposition and even more so for the spectators that's great and watson to watson to homes head back to homes and watson brings it home exactly it's hard to follow uh okay uh woman will united get it because manchester united oh yeah nice will united that's good manchester united woman will united i was thinking like woman will unite it well that one too love women yeah yeah that works too man you think i'm okay is he gonna throw up one second he's gonna throw up

um the mossy grove wanderers oh like that it's just they're just kind of like kicked back mellow it just doesn't matter i'm not worried about that much i've been relegated eight years in a row you'll look there's literally no more leagues for them to go down to yeah you'll look over and they're just like yeah if the rock is the bottom of the table they're the moss that's been growing on exactly wow great um all right i got the vatican we're going we're going we're going international i got the vatican vagabonds a cohort of rogue cardinals who have been excommunicated from the church for having doubts they now wander the earth in search of meaning but have found solace and purpose in soccer these poor souls may be unsure about the next life but

let me tell you they are certain as hell about the beautiful game that's awesome uh i've got mintford hogswath football union lauren's we get more giggles out of lauren from this one than i would have thought yeah i think she's high like triple wait can you say that one again uh mintford hogswath football union yeah that's great that doesn't need any explanation uh my final one round table river yeah um the pitch is surrounded by like a moat and if the ball goes out of play you have to wait for it to come all the way back around that's really good i like that you're playing with the settings a lot yes yes um all right another international team los vegetales this is the first all handicapped

la liga team to qualify for the champions league do not underestimate these guys they will make you pay for it they're like shit you have to wait for their that one may not mean that one maybe He doesn't make the cut, but when they're like, I ever tell you about, Oh, I was just gonna say when they're trash talking, you have to like, wait for them to like type it out on their keyboard. It's like, I will annihilate you. I like, I went to high school. I feel like maybe I said the story.

I went to high school with this kid and he, he had like a something like some sort of like brain tumor and stuff. It was like scary. And he survived it and he was good and he had been like a pretty good soccer player. And then he made like some sort of us Paralympic team. i guess the way they do those teams is like there's tiers to like what your disability is like a certain number of like high performing people can be on the teams and so he posted this video on his instagram once he was like beat argentina in a in this like game in the u17

paralympics or whatever and it was a video of him smoking a ball past a kid with down syndrome oh god and it was just like yeah what are you doing also like i feel like you like i feel like the high performing has to be the goalie yeah well no i think it's like you know you gotta gotta put your chips where they think it's important because it would have been just as bad if like he was playing goalie yeah and he was like yeah yeah um dude the uh i got way out i got a couple more we're moving on or okay i got a couple more i might as well read them out um the ho chi min tigers a group of ex vietcong soldiers turned certified ballers have you ever seen the movie shaolin soccer okay well have you ever played uh mario strikers okay well these guys can literally

jump 20 feet in the air and charge up their shots seven defenders have died just trying to block their bicycle kicks okay these it's carnage when you play these guys is it two goals if they score on a charged-up one? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So you have seen them play. You've played in a whole battle.

Yeah, I've seen them. And then I just got Jude Bellingham because it sounds like a town in England. Oh, that's true. I'm from Jude Bellingham. I'm from Jude Bellingham. When you were talking about your friend playing on the Paralympics team,

have you ever seen... Lauren will have to Google this, but some country just put guys with no disabilities on their basketball team and they, like, didn't get caught for, like, multiple... Google, like, team fake Special Olympics basketball. I wonder what is the threshold. Did you have another one you didn't read?

The Spanish basketball team was disqualified from the 2000 Paralympic Games after it was discovered that many of the players did not have intellectual disabilities. This was one of the biggest controversies. Well, why would you do that? Because they want to win? because they're winners dan pepper

okay well he i don't want to i don't want to call a spade a spade but if he is faking it no he revealed it can you let's show dan again how did he how does he not have he like exposed it oh it just said he revealed it only two of the 12 players were genuinely disabled that's actually insane it is really funny because they at some point you have to because they're all very good basketball players but like you have to maybe for lack of a better word like dumb it down a little bit so you have to like you'd have to like make your your moves look a little bit more special

yeah i don't wait this fake how'd they get away with it boss i didn't know about cheating yeah that is the face of corruption right there right there looking at it um all right should we do sayings that don't exist yeah tee it up willie these are sayings these are more sayings that don't exist and i'm up first let me just pull them out all right yeah so you know when you're like going out for the school play and you really want to be in the cast but you're not confident in your audition so for good luck you break your own leg so that it's in a cast well that's why i think we should start saying break a leg when one of our buddies is going out for a big role what are you doing what what like break a leg because like the leg ends up in a cast and they

and they and then and they make the cast but that's talking about it i just made that up oh my god i just made it up i gotta make some calls i can't even look at them do you want to go again i got i got two more no we each got three all right we'll go in order all right uh the footprint is as big as the shoe this is when someone is trying to distance themselves when someone is trying to distance themselves from the impact of something they did like negatively that you know they'll be like oh well i didn't do all that like that wasn't my fault and then you say hey the footprint is as big as the shoe you got to own it you did it you caused all this i love that it's good uh it's good

i've got a i've got a dog begging for chocolate i think there's two ways this could go but like i like to think that if someone's like asking for a beat down like dude you are a dog begging for chocolate right now where you're like or it could be uh asking asking for something that uh would hurt you in the end yes i guess you know what i mean where i don't know no i like that that makes sense you know what also makes sense uh okay you know when you're like boy spills cereal everywhere and you're like fucking pissed about it like there's fucking milk everywhere it's in the rug it's in your jeans it's fucking everywhere and it it's a goddamn nightmare and you're so fucking mad you start fucking crying well that's why we should start saying you're crying over

spilt milk when someone's really mad about something you guys think you're crying over spilt milk because like you're so pissed you're crying because your boy like spilt cereal everywhere what happened to you man you should be my hero i don't see what the big what's what's going on all right i've got waiting to see if the grenade works this is when someone you just need to ditch it and move on let's not sit around to see if it's as bad as you think it is i like that um giving glasses to a blind man nice you can't like remedy a situation by giving someone something

that like they have no use for or whatever so like if you're giving someone a piece of advice that they is way over their head they can't do anything with it I'm getting really I can't even like explain my things because I'm like no what

how would I explain that one my glasses one you just said it okay perfect yeah all right you guys are upset about the other two I understand uh i don't know why but this one is definitely original uh i'd be shocked if it wasn't so you know when you're in the forest and you're picking berries out of a berry bush yes obviously right well not all those berries are going to be edible right some of them are going to be poisonous

so why take the risk especially when you know there's a perfectly good beet root on the other side of the bush that's why i think we should start saying there's a beet around the bush when someone's taking unnecessary risks yeah what do you guys think i hate it i hate you i hate you all right uh i've got caught between a mime and an auctioneer this is when you're trying to figure out what happened and you're between like there's a dispute between two parties and you're trying to figure out what happened and one person is just doing all the talking and the other person isn't so you're only getting one side of the story you

say hey i'm caught between a mime and an auctioneer right now i love that my final one is uh merging in bumper to bumper traffic if you're stuck in a situation a car what you need the car did i invent it sorry go ahead we need to get through the first problem before we start trying to make adjustments like getting over to the other lane isn't going to change anything right now we need get through the present dilemma and then we can focus on the larger task i like that all right so do you want to talk about it now yeah uh it's an original take on your idea that you guys have assigned me twice now you guys couldn't even come up with a new fucking idea because you crushed it last time well i that's only you you just i just told you that what also i think that uh i think

that's once that's clipped together it's gonna go viral so you're welcome probably will yeah you know your basketball shot got like one and a half million views yeah i know because i drained it all the comments i did it for the whole world there there were guys like meat riding chester in the comments they were like the way he walked off was so sick yeah so tough it didn't feel that cool at the time in the moment it was one of the coolest things i've seen it looked cool um but yeah sorry i'm just doing a little anti-bit no that was good i think i think i think that'll i think that'll i think it'll play that's an original take on that idea i liked it you were you are i also got it wrong like every yeah that i didn't pick up on that at first but that was funny the

last one it'll clip together well look for beats around the bush yeah yeah that was good the cast one though is that that's not really why it's called that is it no that's not why but i looked it up to make sure interesting i thought it was they know because you used to be in like a leg line uh or something i looked it up today i but i kind of skimmed over it but you used to it was called a cast because something about oh no sorry it's called like break a leg came from being in a leg line for a play which meant i think like the leg line was like you know the understudies for roles so if like you broke a leg was a term they used when like the understudy had to come up or something so you like got the big role or something i think so yeah but it had something to do with

leg lines from but yeah my my dad actually once brought the cast thing up to me he's like is that why it's called caste and i was like actually that sounds really that sounds like a really good reason as to why but i think the saying's been around longer than castes have been around that's interesting what about the caste system what's your favorite all right everyone say their favorite caste on three one two three nobility i remember when i was a kid we were learning about that in history class like the caste system and like couldn't you just cheat it by just being really good for a day and then killing yourself you just move up every day why because when you're reincarnated you are now in

the cast above you if you did good oh what is this wait is that how that works it's like a hindu oh it's like like your heaven is just like getting upgraded so you have like good like karma and dharma or whatever and then if you are good in your life you'll be reincarnated in a higher class next time yeah they must have patched the suicide thing because i feel like i want to be using that yeah no i think i think i got it right patched it well i think they nerfed it i don't know if they fully patched it but they at least nerfed it um all right lauren whose personality you see that's our last segment whose personality you're still in this week okay i know i'm stealing tate mccray's personality because i'm obsessed with her new album right now and

she's also like the hottest person ever and i just love her what do you what's your first step to be like her um or nor is like hockey pads yeah i don't know i'm just i just think she's cool nice yeah jester whose personality are you gonna can i go last because i yeah i just need to think about it i am gonna steal mike aruzioni oh nice it's the personality you beat the russians yeah I'm gonna beat up some Russians I'm gonna beat up some Russians hey it's their fault for

rushing to be beat up I'm gonna steal Elon Musk's son's personality okay I just feel like that guy's on top of the world right now he's like 8 right yeah

Jack, everyone loved Birdie on the last episode Oh, nice Yeah, I'm going to steal Honestly, I'm going to steal Zach Stimmel's personality in my room I've just been digging his vibe lately He brings a very chill approach To the post-work hang

Which I enjoy PWC Are they twins or triplets? Twins I don't know if there's another one The goats, the Stimmel twins The goat how's he doing he's good he's good man he's killer it's awesome he's uh he i was telling

him yesterday like he eats like a dog on its birthday because like he eats like he only eats like dry kashi which looks like kibble but then like when he like treats himself it's like rice and like salmon like you know it's like something you like put on top of your dog's kibble if you wanted to give him like a special meal you can eat it yeah and uh you wanted to make them eat it Yeah, like sometimes you put it on top of the kibble so that they'll grab it by the back of the head and make them eat it. Yeah, and you just tuck it in and smack them around until they eat.

Scream at them. Chester, do you have anything you want to tell the Playmates before we head home? Honestly, hey, we're posting. This will come out in March, so you may already know. But, yeah, we're posting YouTube videos every week in perpetuity. And watch out for the how-to videos that Willie here is helping me write and hopefully star in a couple but uh yeah that's that's all i got on my end

lovely awesome all right have a great um i always struggle with this word have a great weekend have a great weekend and uh and this is coming great on monday yes have a great weekend this is coming out on monday so have a great weekend we'll see you in two days oh sorry have a great rest of your monday a great tuesday and we will see you guys bright and early on wednesday we love you so much and chester which do they comment this week what's like uh i don't know go go tigers comment go tiger go ho chi minh tigers go ho chi minh tigers tiger all right lauren play that motherfucking theme music Thanks for watching!