Will & Rusty's Playdate - she kissed the waiter on our date

Episode Date: April 7, 2025

Happy Monday, Playmates! Willy recaps AFTV’s first live show tour, Rusty reminisces about his week at wilderness camp, and Lauren is morphing into the boys. The gang also shares a touching conversation about the coolest days of their lives and dissects the mystery of the McRib. Plus, the boys serve up the best captions for your next Strava workout. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod LISTEN TO RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY PLAYLIST: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=N2tmrcS3RsabP9ZOYIKkSg&pi=B9Za7CLVSa6Us USE BETMGM BONUS CODE PLAYDATE AND GET YOUR $1500 FIRST BET OFFER TODAY https://promo.nj.betmgm.com/en/promo/geolocator?orh=promo.betmgm.com&wm=7123555 GET 20% OFF @CHUBBIES WITH THE CODE PLAY AT https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/play #chubbiespod CONTROL BODY ODOR ANYWHERE WITH @SHOP.MANDO AND GET $5 OFF YOUR STARTER PACK (THAT’S OVER 40% OFF) WITH PROMO CODE PLAYDATE AT https://shopmando.com/ #MANDOPOD 00:00 Intro 00:25 Getting Rid of 30,000 Beers 09:13 Recapping the AFTV Tour 13:14 Do NOT Go to DeLuca’s 21:50 American Food 28:52 The Best Days of our Lives 43:20 Roadmap 51:16 Pitch Submissions 01:15:17 Pitches 01:19:45 Teach Me Something 01:26:55 This Guy Rocks 01:32:26 Drafts 01:36:03 Whose Personality are you Stealing? #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

come on play date play date 94 wow wow grape the uh all these numbers suck i know i'm kind of it was so fun we were in like the teens um story yeah i don't like it yeah that is the story of your life uh yeah so to fill you guys in on what we're talking about um we have like just a million of our own beers in the in the office because i guess we like switch distributors or something and like we took on all the stuff they had in their warehouse yeah and so there's just like there might be there what do you think there's a hundred thousand beers how many beers do you think i think there are there's five there's five thousand per pallet yeah and there were probably six we loaded in right so like thirty

thousand beers yeah something fucking banana lands which is like for like guys like us it's like pinch me this is my job it's like uh me when me when someone says get a couple beers for the pregame that's like one weekend for us probably or lauren probably it's like an one hour wait lauren are you still an alcoholic lauren she's gonna have 30 000 beers right now she's gotten better i've gotten better good yeah um but so they in an effort to get rid of some of them they were like go here's a list of like companies to bring them to and it was like it wasn't like mom and pop liquor stores it was like go to youtube and like go to like wme and go to like tmg and like it's it's brand it's companies that you would want to be on like a you would want them to think

positively of you and showing up to these places with like a palette of beer during the work day so i was under the impression that they had worn they had reached out to them i think they did yes but okay but what is a big flaw in that is there are like a thousand people that work at these companies so like they don't the the our point of contact at youtube was like an executive at youtube like we're not gonna call and be like hey man we're outside with the beer yeah yeah and uh like i called my room i was trying to soften the blow so i called my roommate at wme and i was like hey man can you just come out and do this so i can like check off a box he was like what he's like we're all working right now like no one like something that they don't take into account is

like most companies yeah people work people are working during the day and like don't necessarily want just a pallet of beer a pallet of beer is 5 000 beers 5 000 beers how did you what were you driving around in like a u-haul i don't have a license to drive that too you were driving it's fucking it's the size of this room you were driving it yes who is it just you redmond was sitting shotgun but it was like it was like not a good plan so we go to tmg uh this is uh for people who don't know that's tiny meets gang uh yes sorry just for audio for audio for as i go and we pull into the parking lot it's not the studio that you and i had been to okay so i was like i didn't know how to get in or we were at a different entrance and so i go to

the intercom and it's just strider and i was like oh strider was there too strider was in a different car but it was a two-seater got it whatever and uh so we like ring the intercom and it like takes a video and no one answers so like they probably didn't know we were coming i now look like i was just doing some like weird bit because redmond's filming in the background so it's like the whole the whole reason i brought this up was then what did you do so we we were like we can't go back we can't go back full-handed so instead of bringing all the beers back i gave some of them to some unhoused people which i thought was very nice yeah and then redman was like i don't know if you're supposed to do that it's not your job to police their addiction

if they want to give it to i was also thinking like that's if they have one obviously if i was if i was homeless yeah beer would sound and someone gave me 12 ice cold beers they're cold yeah man how'd you get them cold well for the sake of the story they're cold they were not they were scalding hot hot beer get your hot beer here and uh the first guy i gave it to there was this homeless guy who was on a really busy corner and it was one of those ones where people are going way too fast to like give you unless they're like throwing coins out the window like i don't think he was having a very good day and i drove by and honked and i had it out the window and gave it to him at like 15 miles an hour and i was thinking like that's gotta be kind of a mind fuck

yeah i was like what the hell just happened that yeah imagine he was like he saw like 11 11 on his watch or something he's like i wish i had some beers and then a van drives by and like slings a 12 pack at him you just hit him yeah have you seen the detroiters hot beer thing yeah yeah yeah hot or cold guys cold obviously um all right wait i want to do this again because accelerator made a video of it last time made me laugh uh if you guys want to see the effects of an accelerator this is my first seller of the day skip to skip to the hour and four minute mark done what do you oh i can't i'll let them do it um i'll let them handle it but i oh excuse me burping i lost some accelerator do you think

you lose it oh um do you ever give beers to homeless guys i don't make a habit out of it but uh i have i remember what happened when the red sox won the world series in 2018 i um we're off to a slow start this year the red sox we beat the rangers and i was like we're because we like we made some big moves i was like this is gonna be like the fucking year move yeah we made one move we got we got bregman we also have chapman that's kind of cool 105 past the catcher every time it's like 50 um he is i when i saw that i was i was uh obviously shocked that we got him but i was more shocked that he was still playing yeah that actually surprises me honestly anyway he we when the red sox won the world series in 2018 i um i i've drank tequila

out of a water bottle at the parade it was awesome come on i remember having you were always doing the coolest i'm the man stuff you have to write a book i'm the man i'm gonna write a memoir about this just about this day it's like vignettes yeah like one of them is anyway i'll go down and i'm you know how like they do the duck boats at the parade yeah oh my god so i'm like standing there with a water bottle of tequila that we had all like brought because we were freshmen in college we're like 18 years old yeah and uh i was like i like it was 10 a.m like no one wanted to drink them and then the duck boats turned the corner and we're all like we gotta go so we all like chugged half the bottles and then we're instantly hammered and then i just remember like an hour

later i just like was sitting on a park bench with a homeless guy we're just taking swigs out of the thing probably probably not the most sanitary thing but uh you ever make an iron lady when you were a kid no but i made a lady iron come on come on burn mom get burned mom um uh what's the iron lady it's like one of every it's like one shot of everything in your parents liquor cabinet so they don't notice anything's gone in a pulling oh and then i have done that yeah it makes like a oh it's like a color that doesn't exist yeah colors that don't exist um i remember the first time i ever drank uh out of a like a water bottle like similar vibe vodka and water bottle my friend riley we're at sugarloaf my friend riley had a uh poland springs

bottle of vodka and a bottle of uh gatorade as a chaser and we met up in the lodge and i'd never drank before so i wanted to look cool i said give me that and then i went in the bathroom to pretend like i was going to drink it but then i realized everyone's going to know if it's the same height so i just poured a shot out in the urinal and came back that's pretty sick and then he came out and you're like oh i was like i am fucking torch uh i had a home i gave a beer to a homeless guy one time coming off the 405 yeah i think i've told this story before but i had a i had 12 red stripes next to me okay i pulled up and he was my window was down and i i famously do not have power windows so if yeah if you pull up next to a homeless guy it's way ruder to be like

like crank it up so i just had to take whatever he was gonna give to me and he was like do you have any money and i was like no and i was like do you want a beer and he was like yeah i'd love a beer so i gave him a red stripe and then he was like can i have another one he's like sure man give him two and then he asked for a third and i was like all right enough you're at work that's funny how was your uh you were just on tour for sketch comedy i was on viral tour uh it looked obviously i have a ton of like faith in you guys and i know how talented you guys are and i don't want to downplay this at all there were way more people at all of these than i was it was like full like double decker theaters boston was like a thousand who are you it was

insane there was the there was one the boston you were shocked by that too right so many people it was like 900 something people yeah that's fucking so sick it was the cool was it cool yeah the boss thing was the coolest thing i've ever done uh and like all my mom and dad and my aunts and uncles and all my college friends kids from my comedy group like it was a it was a it was a home game it was a home game and like everyone you know we all went out after and you have groupies now uh working on it i met a lot of playmates out on the road so i'm sure there's a lot of people listening shout them out man shout shout shout you're shouted out you were hey you have drop in because you're about to get fucking you shout it out you are getting shouted out as we speak

uh they're nice yeah everyone was so nice it was really really cool it was it was just so fun it was exhausting i'm i feel like a fried potato i came right from the airport and uh it's a thing we all know what that feels like it was seven seven shows in four nights in four cities wait what yeah how are you doubling up we're doing two a night in everyone but boston matinee or two night shows it would be like 7 p.m and 9 30 how do you keep the energy for the second one well it's not the same crowd no i'm saying how do you like i feel like after you do something like that like you've dumped all your adrenaline yeah i mean just like drink an accelerator or coffee or something just go right back into it yeah you kind of don't have a choice but

it was fun yeah it was really two in pittsburgh then one in boston then two in toronto then two in dc last night how was canada canada was cool except that like all these places it was like damn this place looks cool but i'm here for right 15 hours like i was in canada we got into canada did our viral show flew out at 8 a.m i say yes ask your question did you was there any point where you kind of felt like a rapper um like running out to a new city to be like cleveland yeah no i don't know if i ever felt like a rapper but i think can you what was interesting about it that was like really more of like a grind is like all these like our shows like a lot of like there's like a sound cues and like stuff that like they need to know that you have to like walk them

through the whole show basically from like a tech because we don't like travel with like a oh it's a new guy yeah it's a new guy at every venue so it's like every night it's like yeah the show's not till seven but it's like you have to go in there like four o'clock and run through the whole show right for longer than you actually do it and then do it so it's just like it was literally just doing the show and eating and having some i like went out in boston but having some what drinks beers i thought he was gonna say sex i did any bras thrown at you no i didn't catch any or see any i didn't maybe i missed a few they're clearly throwing them at like billy yeah you're like diving you're like this is for me this is my bra um bras are crazy why do you

guys wear them why do we wear you ever look at a bra it's like a medieval device it has like a iron clad on the you're telling me no it's this it's been the same for the last thousand years um hundred years hundred years is probably better it's the same thing probably no they well they used to be wood well you can specifically buy ones that are comfortable i'm not gonna buy one that sucks i buy the ones that hurt for my girlfriend for myself for my girl i'm wearing one that hurts i'm wearing one that fucking kills my toes brother kills i have a few things i have a few stories to tell that please i have stories to tell when we were in pintberg first night of the show first show of the tour pardon we went to a uh we got up the morning of the show and we're

like we're gonna go get breakfast and there's this place that rick rick mater yeah built-in producer tag you know rick made her you know rick made it uh we we try to go to this place called like the lupus nothing every time i look at what is going on i don't want to derail your story i just sometimes lauren's having more fun than other episodes and when i look over and i can tell that she's having a lot of fun it makes me very happy and so when i look over and like will hasn't even gotten to the funny part and lauren's like come on i gotta wrap around my get there funny guy so we're going to this diner tell me what happened so rick recommends the lucas diner yeah what else happened we uber there and the guy lets us out on the corner

we're like don't quite see where the place is we know we must be close so i asked this lady who's running this like little stand outside of a different restaurant on the corner i'm like hey you know where deluca's diner is she goes oh honey the lucas they open at like 6 a.m and they close like early like yeah you guys are too late all right what like what it was like was it at like noon oh 12 12 30 maybe because she had calls over other guys she's like listen to these fucking more they're trying to go to deluca's at noon honey and she literally was like oh dope they opened at like 6 a.m and they closed like early but kept not saying like what time they closed like don't have like a time and i was like all right well is there somewhere else you'd recommend

around here she was like well we've got a bunch of great stuff in here if you want to come into our place and then so then i'm like she's just trying to get me into her place now i'm not going to go in there out of principle sure enough we walk we figure out where deluca's is open till 2 p.m this lady just straight up lied to me to try to get to go or us to go to her restaurant that's the name of the game but she made me feel like a fucking idiot she's like deluca's at noon the lucas at noon yeah you'd be better off catching a fish in the allegheny bud that's a pittsburgh joke you're so worldly now man worldly dilute dilute is it new uh yeah you're you might as well try and get a reservation on the moon that's good yeah from learning

and then then so i you know we we tend to fly delta as we be but for some that reminds me who moved my sky club sky tub how are people gonna know how are people gonna know i went to this will and i went to the sky club yeah and then but like i could the flights in and out of toronto i couldn't get they were like air canada and like american anyway so the flight out of toronto is american air canada would be a good name for a canadian basketball player yeah yeah continue no that's a good point maybe um andrew wiggins air canada anyway so we're flying out of toronto and it's on an american flight and since you know it's not dealt on boarding at the back of the plan and the overhead things have filled up so like hey we have to like tag tag like gate check

your bag or whatever and uh i was like okay sure so i gave them my suitcase like a little finicky when you put the thing down like you kind of have to wiggle a little little to put the handle down on the suitcase but it's like very intuitive if you spend one second looking at the mechanism you just like have to like sawed it off you just have to like press a little button i get my suitcase back when we land in dc they just bring it out on the jet bridge like you know it wasn't like it comes out baggage claim it's like they you grab it right on your way getting off the plane and it is i've all i have pictures of it is the funny i the guy hands me this bag and i go are you fucking kidding me like it's i don't know wait send them to me yeah we'll put a picture

of it right here i'm gonna air can i just airdrop it to the computer right here what is the computer girl podcast studio or something he's like here you go bud he's like pardon it's just that did they break it off they just snapped the whole thing off oh my god what airline is this uh american airlines so i there's a another one that's like maybe did the thing come out with the little tag on it too that would be so fucking funny yeah well the tag was like what i used to like yeah no i'm saying did you that that'd be funny if the handle came out separately oh it also had like a check tag on so where's the handle toronto i guess i don't know i don't know i came i could not believe it i i looked at the

guy handed it to me and i go what and he goes i was like the fucking handle's gone and he's like i didn't do it and there were like 15 people behind me waiting to get their bag so i just i didn't want to like inconvenience them and make a scene so i was like okay so i just took a bunch of pictures and now i have to figure out i guess i gotta like i'm sure i can get them to buy me a new one for sure you're somewhere over pennsylvania and you just see like the handle of a bag like falling from the plane i just that is the funniest thing so then then i'm like i look like a fucking it was like weird almost regal the way i had to walk around the airport with it i was like like suitcase and uh where's my butler i don't know what to do i have another flight in two days

and now i don't have a suitcase or i'm gonna have to wait charleston yeah but it's ass that american airlines can suck me if you want to borrow my carry-on you can oh maybe i might actually take you up on that that would be nice i mean they owe you a new they owe you a new bag yeah i just mean like in the short like i'm not gonna i don't know yeah side comment do either if you have like a good travel backpack i can bring to spain like a like a big one not really uh because i didn't want to have to bring a roll-on carry-on are you talking about like a big like a backpacking one yeah kind of not uh here but i can give you a good recommendation okay we had a uh i have this backpack from we did a uh like week-long wilderness trip

in middle school where they'd like send the i think you were like in sixth grade or something they'd send you to this place called chowankee and you you familiar yeah of course we they would send you to chowankee and you couldn't like shower like maybe even brush your teeth like it was odd and then i remember they put me and a couple other kids like with the special needs kids and the special needs kids got to stay in yurts that just had bathrooms and like running water and toilets and stuff yeah and i remember you enjoy that i thought it was awesome and then looking back on it i was like because i was definitely friends with some of the special these kids but like none of them were in this group and so i thought like oh maybe they just

thought like he's good with the special these kids like we'll throw him in with with them but i didn't have any like duties so now i i remember like like did they think like was i just special needs and no one told me maybe that'd be kind of crazy it's kind of a success story yeah i mean that would be well that's kind of the whole reason this podcast is doing well it's like spotify pushes it like sympathy yeah i first of all we don't understand anything you're saying but like i don't know i told you they they put me in the class for like a day in second grade chesty out they tested me out they put me in the special needs class for a day and then they realized that like i i was like

the i was the king fucking rock star it was i don't know if it was like clear that i wasn't so they put me back or they were like he he holds he wields like way too much power with these guys yeah he wields too much power with them i had them in the palm of my hand oh my god as you all know by now we have teamed up with bet mgm this season and we'll be using bet mgm lines to make all our picks and we'll have special offers for our listeners each week if you haven't signed up for bet mgm yet use bonus code playday and you will get up to a $1,500 first bet offer on your first wager with BetMGM. Here's how it works.

Download the BetMGM app and sign up using bonus code PLAYDATE. Deposit at least $10 and place your first wager on any game, and then you will receive up to $1,500 in bonus bets if your bet loses. Just make sure you use bonus code PLAYDATE when you sign up. Don't forget, if you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code PLAYDATE and get $1,500 first bet offer today. I thought of something else funny. Please.

when we were in toronto toronto yeah the way you keep saying that is throwing me off toronto that's the correct no you're right it's toronto toronto you don't say the second t but it's there i know but i said it during the because we have like a there's like a sketch where every night i would just say like the city we were in for one of the lines and someone was like and get it right asshole yeah in between the first and second show you're just like hey it's toronto so then the second show i just said the six made me laugh anyway uh the in toronto we asked this guy was like the club promoter or whatever we're like what's like is there like some like food like restaurant we should check out like like some sort of like

iconic you know toronto food or sandwich or something he was like oh yeah you got to get there's this veal sandwich that's like unbelievable it's at a place called california sandwiches in little italy that's like this place has no culture negative culture the iconic toronto food is at california sandwiches in little italy i guess it's we can't america can't really talk either though because it's like we don't have any our best food is taken from other countries as well uh name one wait i'm not saying like there's no in the same way there's no american food there's not really any canadian burger german yeah but like the like the cheeseburger is like that's like an american cheeseburger and fries like that feels that feels like germany france

yeah but like the way that that's served is like an american thing like you don't get it like you don't get the same type of thing what kind of fries are they will french fries no but like the way that they like a mcdonald's like burger and fries like that's like american food that's like yeah something that you're not gonna i guess maybe the cheese steak yeah yeah the philly cheese steak yeah that's a good one yeah like canada invented poutine but that's just french fries with gravy like when we were like pittsburgh for instance we asked the same question they're like oh like primanti brothers they have these like say iconic like pittsburgh sandwiches that are like sure they didn't invent the sandwich in pittsburgh but they still have like a local

delicacy lauren lauren let's this is a quiz on whether you've been this was your teaching i'm saying uh this is a quiz on whether lauren's been listening who invented the sandwich mike hockey no what guy invented but no not france what i do not know the earl of sandwich what the hell lauren were you just talking about that we just said that like two minutes ago oh i want in and out in or out and you have to pick now i yeah like in and out for here like yeah i uh i got into a big argument about whether it was better in and out or heavy-handed the other day heavy-handed i've never had it but i refuse to admit that it seems like you're an unqualified no but basically i i mentioned like i'm going in and out and ty like scoffed at it and was like

you still go there i was like yeah man it's awesome he was like it's no heavy-handed i'm like well you don't know but that's what i love but i'm allowed to like what i like i agree with yeah but that's you just said it was a debate about which one's better right but this is america and i don't have to i don't have to be informed on anything i can argue whatever i want and be right in my mind it's my truth yeah fair enough i went to internet the other day with birdie the dog yeah gave her a bunch of fries are they allowed to do that i think that can't be good all right so i learned that the hard way when that just as long as they're animal style come on dude you've really been honing your skills on the road a lot of a lot of comedians

get lazy when they go out not me not me i'm a honing sexual i picked up uh birdie from my sister's house and i was driving her home and i came around this corner standstill traffic i'm going 80 miles an hour birdie is uh in the passenger seat having the time of her life i was trying to pet the dog look at the directions and look at the road and when i looked up there were cars not moving and so i slammed on the brakes and her whole bed slid like where your feet go if you're in the passenger seat she was mad at me for the rest of the day it's fair yeah it's important to be not looking at your dog while driving no petting and driving they don't that's why they have all those signs about petting and driving i know i didn't know what that was

petting petting and driving wait so back to your show shows for a second was boston can you pass me accelerators no i just had another random question what no i was saying like come on come was boston you think the most successful show do you want or like which one was your favorite where was your favorite um let's see boston was my favorite personally because of all the people that were there it just it was just super like special and it was like at a iconic venue in the city the wilbur right the wilbur yeah yeah why have i been there i remember like i think i like walked by it yeah it's like i don't know i actually don't think i'd ever been there but like it was like you know that's where any like big acts i don't know it was just super cool to be

involved i went i got in like a little bit earlier that day and i went over to like the lake by bc and ran around that i used to run around in college it was like a nice like it was just a very fulfilling day but i would say the one in dc last night actually was really a cool venue it was smaller it was like more intimate but it was like fun because it's like a weird balance like the one in toronto was like a weird ass it was like a movie theater but then we were on a stage so then the stage had to be like up really high because there's like an upper balcony thing that like yeah half the people could only see like our upper body uh which is kind of ass uh phil told me the the pittsburgh one was at a winery yeah it was um my friend my good friend

phil and his buddy colson went to uh colson fellow lego builder just built he beat me to it he built the endurance before i could get my hands on it that bastard um but he said he went and he said he had a lot of compliments but he said that uh every sketch was funny oh which i think you go i feel like the way you said that was like it was gonna you're like oh no i meant like amongst amongst all of his compliments his greatest one was every sketch was funny and i think uh he's not he wasn't wrong to assume like in the same way when you go to any show yeah there's not gonna all be hits yeah he was like everyone was funny that's uh yeah i mean it was six we did 16 of them and yeah he had never seen it's fun elise outside of the sketches

and he said she was fantastic as well she's unbelievable yeah she's so good with the live stuff too her whole family came last night that was really fun it was fun too because like yeah like liam's family was there in boston will's brother was there uh i don't know i don't think sean was there but i met his sister and his parents uh him and i've been just fucking firing memes back and sean liam's brother yeah yeah yeah that kid's awesome yeah it was awesome the boston one was like that was one of the best days that i've had in a really long time it was just like one of those it was like one of those days where like you're constantly just trying to be like don't let this just pass by like remember this this is really cool like if nothing else

cool happens in my life like i'll tell my kids about this you know i think you'll have a lot well sure but you know you want to eventually you'll say that and then you won't where's the coolest day of your life it was probably that yeah lauren it's probably last friday oh god i don't know what's the coolest thing you've ever done that is like i don't know i don't know i need to think about that you're going to mexico of europe soon are you excited i'm very excited you need tacos what do you what's what are your dates of travel april 26 until barcelona uh i get back may 10th two weeks we all planned a lot of travel in april which is interesting april boy travel girl boy what's your classic love story april boy travel girl what's what's one of your

best days of your life uh i think that's the coolest i i would still say the coolest thing i've ever done is barrel roll in that plane yeah i think that's like a top five that was thing you can do um honestly i had a really i had a really good day i remember uh oh i would say honestly the rain epcot day was one of the best days of my life yeah yeah first trip there was a i can't like totally remember everything that happened i remember there was one day at rollins where just like i think like for some reason like all of our classes got canceled at the same time perfect weather i think we golfed in the morning had like a little darty in the day and then like something cool like there was one of those days where nothing totally memorable

happened but i remember sitting down everyone was like whoa that was pretty awesome that's awesome i had a dream the other night that i woke up and all of this had been a dream and i was a freshman in college this is a dream and i was so mad wake up which i thought was a very good like i told that to my mom kind of like in passing and she was like oh that's like that's like really good like i think like like that's very symbolic to be stoked you're happy or to be mad that like none of that like i think there are a lot of people that would be like elated to wake up and be like a in college again yeah i love college but i think like we're very we're very lucky to be happy yeah i i also have college but i would freak out if i had to go back i do yeah i'm no

desire to go back i but when i was running around bc on friday too it was this is the first time where i really had that like wow these kids look young yeah it was kind of startling yeah i also think like uh like even if we got like transported back like four or five years like even knowing everything we know now yeah it would be hard to like put those things back in place you know what i mean like i think some like if we because you'd be you'd be like all right we just have to do sayings that don't exist but like getting that like back on oh yeah like getting everything back in line would still be hard even if you had like the roadmap yeah speaking of speak of the devil should we yeah what yeah how long have we been going lauren let's chat a little wait no i liked

that conversation we were on and then you and then you jumped away from yeah i i don't know i think like there there are a lot of you know people are always like things happen for a reason and it's like hard to trust that i'm trying to get better about like when i get frustrated about something i'm like well everything else happened for a reason and we ended up here so like yeah finding that balance of like yes things happen for a reason but like there are some things that you need to push back on but other things i think i need to get better at like accepting yeah that that's this is just part of it yeah we need to do it no i'm a pretty big believer in that or just like what is meant what is meant for me like will be for me i always like tell myself that do you

think that if we told 19 year old lauren what you're doing now she would be excited or mad excited nice i mean just i mean i think she'd think that will and i are like super cool yeah really yeah she probably changed in the last five years yeah do you think that the three of us would be friends in college if we went to the same school um i honestly feel yeah i was friends with so many different like people and like okay cool guy no no i'm just saying that like i had my i was so fucking popular i'm joking i'm just trying to say that i i yes because like we get along now and i think you guys are cool and like funny like even if we weren't in the same immediate friend group i feel like there always would have been like a vibe like with

people that i like vibe with i would have been really nice to your face but wrote mean things about you on yik yak um well kind of on this topic too me and mia yesterday we're talking about how insane it is that because like we've known each other mia is my roommate best friend i've known her since middle school um and 11 year old us like if i were if i were to know that i would like be living in la like with her yeah it's just like it's a very surreal thing i'm like how is how is that the same universe as i don't know it's just it's so trippy to think about i agree yeah it was cool i yeah i always wanted to live here and i never like thought that i actually would i was just like oh it'd be cool to live in california but i never thought i lived i never

thought i never even think that was never thought same i felt like boston maybe yeah i'm just glad i left maine sometimes i go like sometimes when i go back i'm like this is cool for a couple weeks but there's more to see yeah no thank you yeah oh i got my new maine soccer jersey hearts of pines and i sent it to my friends and apparently everyone else already has it it's been sold out forever and i was on the pre-order what that's okay you can all match i know you thought it was special but they don't have names on the back so it's like you don't even like there's a soccer bar that we all go to and like if if you were out watching soccer and everyone had like their own like everyone can wear a manchester united jersey but it's like they're slightly different

this is the first year that they've been around so we all just have carbon copies of the same blank jersey that's fun it's like it's like an outfit i was thinking about our podcast we should do like more like themed episodes i 100 agree like the mlb thing oh well that too i like that like sayings with it like we kind of nailed that that was kind of knock that out of the park that was a good like thought yes i like that a good like thought exercise yeah where i think you can if we give ourselves boundaries it was it was honestly easier yes to come up with the same yeah i was gonna say more like like high school football game like jersey jersey pod or like hawaiian pod or like blackout i always want to send that like i swear half of the recording needs we have i want to be

like can we all wear blue today yeah i just forget all right let's start matching yeah let's do like uh matching you've slowly morphed into a combination of will and i you got my jeans you have will's jeans my shoes my shirt will's okay well don't act like you guys are the inventors of birkenstocks and jeans i never said that but no he claimed birkenstocks i mean i all i'm saying is you didn't dress like us when we met and now we all dress i think it's also just my style has evolved we also didn't dress we also didn't dress like we dress now when we first we all just gravitated towards yeah went towards this one thing yeah i know my style is you gotta get a mustache i'm trying to bring mine back and i shaved the rest way too early what oh oh yeah

look at him you can't even tell i was looking in the mirror and i was like it's long enough and then i did it right before i was supposed to go to my grandparents house you know grandparents like to be like new mustache yeah i was doing that and no one said anything but i think it's literally because they're like it maybe looks like i didn't it maybe looks like i did a little bit but not like yeah i might try that i'll do it i'll do it with you i'm bringing mine back should i bring my summer stash i'm trying to get mine back to long before uh friday well i am gonna be a few months behind you brother well you don't want to know what i'm debating i showed jack and he was like meh i'm debating dyeing my hair like nope you

should pull it up pull it up okay i'll show you it's hold up what you want to do i think it's a compliment i think it's a compliment to you now no it wasn't that it wasn't that i showed you this photo it wasn't that okay that's that's essentially your hair color now she showed me that's red it's red she showed me like like jesse cool i don't care for that thank you okay well i like i like red hair like naturally red hair but well that's not that's like on the bottom like on the bottom right one yeah that's what she showed me the first time no it's not wait on the right i like on the left because she's a ginger yes that's what i'm just saying like just i mean i don't care do whatever you want it makes you happy you should do it i'm just i'm sharing

because i thought i will make you unhappy about it i do alipa's hair like she's so cool yeah i just i i mean obviously she's stunning but like i don't think the hair is necessary okay that being said i think it'd be fun i've just never done my hair and i am bored i mean fuck it yeah do it why you who cares what we think no i i don't care what you guys think i just i'm sharing because it's fun and it's i wanted to share my friends and see what they think if you did i know if you did it i would be very very supportive and i would never say anything about it i just think that i yeah i guess even now that i'm saying it out loud like my i shouldn't have an opinion on my friend's hair in the same way that if will said he wanted to dye his hair red i would say i like

your hair now can one of you do bleach blonde uh buzz cut my head's too big i would look like make a mind if i ever shit my head i was thinking about bringing back the buzz i've done the buzz you could do it yeah but i need to do the beard too that's when it was a cool look but my beard gets out of hand because my beard is red yeah so there's that to think about mr gilfump i mr gilfump yeah you read that yeah how do you know about that you know you never read that book when i have that book in my bedroom right now actually how do you still have that i didn't tell you this story no i that's crazy okay so children's book character when i yeah that's mr gilford brother when i was a kid that's crazy when i was a kid i my dad would read this book to me called mr gilford

the adventures of mr gilford it's right there wait sean liked this book too what why are you looking at me like you're joking what do you i don't understand why you're like it's like a book we all read as kids like why are you like acting like it's like that's not true i literally had to search high and low for it like that it's like the hungry caterpillar yeah it is much much more niche than the hungry caliber there is absolutely no world where you read it and sean because i've brought it up and both of you were like i've never heard of that yeah what like i just brought it up that's true i guess that's true am i getting gill thumped right now oh my god i feel like it's like the way we've talked about this like a million times that i

said it and you were like nobody knows why did you say that no one knows mr gilfum yeah mr gilfum was the great i still haven't cracked it open because i'm worried that i'm worried that i'm gonna read it it's not gonna hold the same weight but it was like the greatest book of all time oh my god wait what were you just talking about mr oh uh buzz cuts yeah i i uh i would bring back the the buzz was an a happy accident we we were drinking heavily and i woke up with a buzz cut and it looked cool thank god but i was worried yeah we don't look like drew starkey lauren speak for yourself dude yeah it's like looking in a mirror anyway it's looking in a spoon um spoon well your boy is going to south carolina this weekend it's gonna

be hot and the thighs are gonna be coming out and thanks to my friends at chubbies i've got some originals stretch shorts that are gonna turn some heads to say the very least uh yeah i'm very excited i'm also gonna bring my classic line swim trunk built-in liner uh super comfy very very stoked to get my chubbies on guys april is here but this ain't the time for fooling it's time to let those thighs breathe whether you're playing around a golf with the fellas hitting up a beer garden or visiting an actual garden chubbies has you covered for all the good vibes that warm weather brings at the end of the day your wardrobe deserves a springtime upgrade so to sweeten the deal for a limited time chubbies is giving our listeners 20 off your order with our exclusive

code use code play at chubbies shorts.com that's code play uh guys experience unmatched comfort and style with the original stretch shorts we're talking four inches we're talking five and a half inch inseams and we are talking seven inch inseams so let's think about this willie what's the time when you use four inch inseams uh if chicks are looking at my thighs when you're using five and a half if chicks are looking at my thighs and when are you using seven inch inseams if i'm with all dudes come on guys whether you're getting dressed for your work day a workout or a weekend getaway chubby's has you covered for a limited time chubby's is giving our viewers 20 off your order with code play at chubby shorts.com that's code play at chubby shorts.com support our show and

Tell them we sent you. Don't blend in with the crowd. Stand out with chubbies. Let's get back into the episode. All right, should we? For 50 years, Canadians have wondered what the names of IKEA furniture mean. Like Natopa, the guardrail for children's beds. Natopa means giving your favorite person room to grow.

It means their safety and your piece of... No. In Swedish, Natopa means night monkey. Mom! He's back! Ikea, 50 years of Swedishness at home Look, he's wearing little pajamas So cute

Roadmap it up Roadmap We have a beautiful episode for you guys today We're going to do your pitches Followed by our pitches Followed by everyone's favorite segment Teach me something Followed by

This guy rocks This guy rocks This guy rocks today guys that rock our our episode for this following episode has uh one of my favorite he was actually my this guy rocks a couple episodes ago maybe even last episode uh he's coming on and i'm very excited and uh it's gonna be great oh yeah is he driving down here from san francisco i have no idea he'll be on on wednesday this this comes out next monday yeah he'll be out on wednesday he's coming in tomorrow then willie and i are gonna tell you things to say when someone points

out your black eye followed by captions for your strava come on come on what is that black eye thing i think it's awesome so random i think it's very interesting you guys are bringing that up though i was just talking to mia yesterday about how universal experience everyone wanting a black eye when they were a kid yeah i got them all i was gonna say i got that wish every other week I kept trying to jump from the toilet to the counter And like three times Nailed my eye on the counter Of course you were trying to jump from the toilet to the counter

I got an evil Knievel VCR And I was stoked about it I had an idea for evil Knievel Is that anything? How'd that pan out? Pinch me Lauren, come on Pinch me, can't believe this is my life Pinch me Lauren, I get to do podcasts

Alright Pinch me Okay, I'm ready. Say it louder. Say it louder for the people in the back. Oh, please. My stomach hurts. What, I'm screaming at my tongue a lot?

Just like, don't. Don't. I think Starbucks got a new... I'm screaming at the tongue of my lung. I think Starbucks got a new sandwich. Dude, I'm having the tongue of my lungs right now. Ooh, I want to see. Turkey pesto provolone.

That doesn't sound good. Have they always had this? They always had this. Egg pesto mozzarella? No, turkey pesto provolone. They 100% always have that. Starbucks new sandwich Rutgers. Starbucks new sandwich Rutgers.

Do they always have this? Yeah. I just had my first one today, and it blew my mind. I was talking to my grandma last night. Stop bragging. And she was telling a story. Honestly, I can't really remember the context, where she was telling a story

and one of the characters in it was a guy named Tommy Syracuse. And then she kept moving. We were like, wait, whoa, go back. What do you mean his name is Tommy Syracuse? And then my cousin chimed in and was like, it used to be Tommy Rutgers, but he changed it

and it burnt the fucking house down. That's awesome. He transferred. NIL. All right. All right. I want to give a huge round of applause to everyone listening to our podcast right now.

I think that's the right thing to do. guys if you're out there listening to this podcast comment what you're wearing or actually no we need to do another check-in comment what you're what you do when you listen to this podcast i always try and figure it out it's got to be it's got to be eating one driving two one three working three yeah it's some commuter dude the amount of people that this weekend that it was this this was the coolest part about this is why like we we should do like a live pod or something just like meeting people that are like like actually like meeting people listen to the podcast it's always cool like it happens every once in a while

but it's like every night i have like a i like i like the i obviously like everyone that consumes any of our stuff but i feel like on average that i've yet to have like an unenjoyable playmate experience i've had some brutal like friday beers guys yeah but i was gonna say multiple people came up that were like thank god you guys went to two a week like it's been such a godsend oh one guy was like when when you announced that my buddy called me and woke me up and uh and we had a cool cool line with a guy where he was like said all that and then he was leaving i was like all right see you monday he was like see you monday the the waking your buddy up for news reminds me of uh i didn't know that the mcrib you know the mcrib like comes back every

year i had water in my mouth i had to do a spit take like the first year they did it when i was like a sophomore in college i like i truly thought it was like a miracle like i didn't know that it was just they do this every year to like get hype around it i wouldn't woke peter up my roommate who's woke peter you are gonna love my buddy woke peter do you look over and he's like hey man i'm just saying like no what's what's a woke thing woke p i'm something with representation isn't there like a one sentence like no taxation no taxation without representation so woke is the mcrib good it's awesome i've never

had it it's so what about the flail fish i've never had the flail fish but i used to pay my buddy's little brother connor to eat filet of fishes used to pay him to eat them yeah in hindsight i think you might have just like you were the man no no like we'd go to mcdonald's and we're like we'll pay for your food but you have to eat a filet of fish first so like honestly that looks fire i would eat that i can't imagine i can't imagine it's bad because it's been on the menu for so long and yeah uh like any type of fish no i don't eat any seafood at all no salmon i'm on a seafood diet i see food and then i eat it god we're so bad and you're telling me we get paid for this you're telling me we have a podcast um well i'm excited about our the thing we found out

today about the podcast we're going on oh yeah we're going on come on can we say that we'll bleep it yeah that's so cool that's really big i was like whoa also yeah we hired this we hired this the 15th like two weeks we hired this new company to like basically get us guests on here and like get us guesting spots on other podcasts i think it's mostly the latter mostly the latter and they we sent a list of ones we wanted to go on and just a day later they nailed it shark farty yeah that's so sick be nice what oh wait yeah yeah if anyone from shark party is listening email will and i shark farty so that we know that you're listening you don't have to do that i'm sure you have other work to do please please i want to know if you guys are listening email me i'm gonna lose

my marbles if on wednesday we get like a mass email it's like shark farty are you guys gonna talk about me when you go on the pod no you better bring me up once yeah wait lauren wait lauren give us a give us a sentence that we have to work into the podcast something we have to 3d print before the episode ends yeah wait give us give us i can't think of it now but i'll okay give me give will and i both a word will has one and i have one oh i like that okay maybe like uh like pancakes okay i got paint i have pancakes will has what um i'll do pancakes you do disestablishmentarianism no pancakes and like uh nightcrawler um schizophrenia yeah great you're pancakes and i'm schizophrenia yeah the first thing you're gonna say is like or you could

say schizophrenic okay yeah okay all right watch out for bleeped podcast where i have to say pancakes and will has to say schizophrenia well you talk about how awesome your producer is all right send us a pitch lauren all right i'm just gonna fastball right down the middle hello rusty hey what the fuck this is cole k coming in with a pitch it is a dating app where you rate how your date went with the person you met on the app and you can leave notes as well say the gentleman didn't pay on the first date you could give him two stars out of five say the lady farts or say the lady lets a fart slip out you could give her five out of five stars for being brave and vulnerable and leave in the comments regarding why you felt that way

your profile will reflect your overall rating as well willie d will never blow a 300 on wee boy and that's a fact whoa why does he mean mean i hope you all have a great day sorry that was like no i love this guy from top to bottom i bet you do or i hope this guy or girl cole oh his name is cole cundert pardon cole cundert cole cundert what is wrong with that that's just no that's a funny name it is a funny name cole condor are you kidding me that's awesome all right willie we're gonna do a thought experiment i'm gonna say a thing that a girl can do on a date you tell me how it would affect her rating that's good okay uh you go to the bathroom realize you've had a huge piece of food in your teeth and she didn't point it out i don't think that would affect her

rating she didn't point it out now you're embarrassed maybe well then i would just hope she didn't see it yeah you know she saw it she's been staring at your mouth the whole time you thought it was because she wanted to kiss you but it's really because you had a big piece of chungus i would come back i was like was there a big piece of chungus in my mouth you didn't tell me about all right what's her rating what's her rating it doesn't affect her rating that'd be okay okay uh that's a mean thing can i do yeah please okay you go to the bathroom okay you guys just got your meals and then you suddenly have to pee so you go to the bathroom you come back and your food's gone she ate all of it she ate my food all of your food did she admit it or did she

no it's kind of just like it's game over like we're not gonna date it's kind of she's a freak yeah i think that's fucking hilarious if i wasn't hungry i would think that's so it'd be funny if she like owned up to it in a funny way if she was like weird about it it was like you just ate all my food like clearly you're crazy how's that gonna affect her rating down okay uh you she's she is she sends something back that didn't need to be sent back uh that one's a judgment call based on like how yeah like i'm not a person it's like you can never send anything back but if it's really unnecessary then that's a bit of like a come on all right she has six fingers doesn't affect it total really i mean what i'm not gonna be like to come out of no no no she said you get the total

it's three on each i mean obviously that's like a little strange but like if she was cool i don't think that would be like all right she pulls out your chair when you guys go to sit down down I'm gonna be emasculated she um she wizards you after the date and it went

nice that's hot I want to smell her farts so we're just cutting she kisses the waiter when he comes over he's really hot she kisses the waiter when he comes over he's really hot or the kiss is really hot

both up i guess i'm into it uh shardy gave me dome but i wasn't really into it she keeps dapping you up after every time you say something funny down she asked if you want to go back to her place and then when you get there she sprints up the stairs and locks you out that's funny down i like that that's a good idea she posts she posts a video of the ring camera of you guys going into her house on her story and says willie d tricked him into thinking we were gonna have sex and we did it on her instagram story tricked him into thinking we were gonna have sex and we did and we did yeah have sex yeah down what else she asked you to come on her podcast i'll come wherever she wants oh on her podcast oh sorry i didn't even i didn't hear the rest

the sentence learn more through yours i can't think um i don't like that i said that one one pant leg i'm gonna repeat it like five times repeat willie one pant leg is way baggier than the other for some reason uh hot she brings skinny jeans half half boot cut a half straight leg hot up up she's haired down to her toes up up up yes yes my viking princess uh she she keeps using big words that you don't understand she's busty up she's not busty down pretty cut and dry man she has nose hairs that like go into her mouth i'm getting there so i'll give her up for that uh what when you meet when you meet instead of a hug or anything she gives you a high five down that would really bum me out she pierces your ear right when my ear she like

sticks a like a don't fucking she sticks her fork through your ear parent trap style uh she pays oh yeah what really she pays but she says it's just for she's only doing it for the points The Amex points I think that's fine I mean no Oh she orders your meal for you She goes I'll have a salad and for the gentleman The steak

I'll have a steak and for the gentleman a French onion soup Perhaps a French onion soup A mac and cheese bowl Give me that Give me that I was the biggest fatty this weekend Biggest what? I just was like

It'd be a good TV show biggest fatty That's what you just said? i was the biggest fatty this weekend yeah is that that it's like no i just didn't hear you i just like i didn't hear the the verbs this is like when lauren came in same skin tone as everyone i got so sunburned this weekend it's like you clearly were not the biggest fatty this weekend i don't know no just in terms of like what i ate you were at the gym at five in the morning this morning yeah because she was the biggest fatty this i had i had ice cream uh i'm gonna get you a trophy that says biggest fatty biggest fratty all right wait let's flesh this out reality tv

show called biggest fatty um how does it work have you ever seen like canada's tallest man yeah yeah it's a reality show yeah it's on i feel like this is a good episode i feel like we we go like we sometimes we have just meh and then we randomly have really you think our last episode was cheeks no i think i think the one that came out today we were like meh about remember it was just an hour long this one's gonna be four the one today was an hour long an hour and eight hour and two what happened no it was an hour and eight was that the day we fell off do you want to bet money on it well i just remember okay canada's tallest man uh no no not not because of the length just because we were all that's just the tallest guy in canada yeah yeah you got nathan for you oh it's who's

tallest canada damn it they vote on who's tall um speaking of reality tv have you guys been watching temptation island nope oh my god it is the greatest it's also the first season i didn't have to buy because it's finally on netflix i was buying full seasons on apple tv i want apple tv now it's on now it's on apple or now it's on netflix what's going on they basically i think i've explained the premise but it's four couples they put the men in one house the women and the other yeah and then they flood it with sexy singles we talk about this every episode okay but basically it just ended and there was one guy lauren you're distracting me smallest person in the world um they so basically there was this one guy the three guys three of

the four guys are like scum of the earth okay immediately cheated on their girlfriends and then there's one guy who like isn't cheating on them and i forgot that it was like i forgot that that that's the moral thing to do. Ty and I were watching the show being like, this guy's a fucking loser. He gets no play. And then we were like, oh, he just has a girlfriend that's not in the house.

And he proposed to her at the end of the show. And she said yes. That's nice. I feel like it's inherently a little weird that they want to go on the show. To begin with, it's weird. Yeah, but neither of them made any... Why are you going on the show, then?

I guess at the beginning of their relationship, she was exclusive with him and another guy. so it's like so he wanted to like test her i guess and she passed with flying colors didn't i don't think she even shook a guy's hand the whole time jesus could be the move yeah putting your girlfriend on temptation no i was gonna say never mind actually i would not trust my girlfriend on temptation she'd be going for she'd be doing it well you go no i'm not you you were like apparently she was exclusive with two guys at the same time and that could be the move yeah but it was kind of a joke you and your little friends freak me out you're all promiscuous

you're all out kissing guys and slapping butts and grabbing butts smelling butts well you have had a droplet of water on your chin he's a fucking guy leave him alone well i just i think you don't want it thank you lauren you're welcome it's still there it's just lower you like moved it down this episode is brought to you by mando in winter it's easy to hole up inside but in spring i'm going out more and i'm staying out longer i'm talking work i'm talking happy hours i'm talking gym time i'm talking hanging out with my buds all things that you need to smell great for guys i'm happy to have found mando whole body deodorant because unlike some other deos that i've tried it lasts as long as will and i do willy what do you like about mando uh i i'm a big

fan of these deodorant wipes yes things are it's kind of revolutionized the deodorant the way i look at deodorant because it's not just about the pits guys it's about the balls that's right it's about the gonads it's about the toes it's about the goochies it's about the goochies the grundle behind behind your ears yes uh and all their products baking soda free paraben free and created by a doctor who saw firsthand how normal bo was being misdiagnosed and mistreated so they're clinically proven to block odor all day and control odor for up to 72 hours that's better than a shower with soap alone 12 hours after a shower the average man's grundle odor level was a five out of ten with mando the average grundle odor level is a zero out of ten want to try

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to hear something sweet please i just remembered yeah dude we're we're people who see the whimsy in life we want to see something we want to hear something sweet last night right after our last show in dc it was like 11 30 or whatever and i go and look at my phone and one of my professors from college who became sort of a mentor for me in college and we were very close all four years um really really good guy but he left teaching he and he lived in dc but like i i don't know i kind of forgot anyway he texted me nicely done oh and i was like oh my god were you here and he had come to my show and he had he was like sorry i had to peel out right after i couldn't say hi but he had come to my show

and watched a little thing with his friends. What's his name, man? Shout him out. His name is Ryan Heffernan. Legend. Heff. I call him Heff.

Wait, that's adorable. Yeah, he's the nicest guy of all time. And when I got the text, it was like a little bit after the show and I was like, I immediately sprinted

through the theater outside because I was like, maybe I can catch him but he had already left. Oh, that's sweet. Heff. Heff. Oh, well, you're an academic.

Maybe you can answer this question. Yeah. so we were talking about like uh somehow we got on the topic of ap exams yesterday my girlfriend and i and she was talking about like she would take them so that she whatever so we talked about ap exams and then she was like yeah i had this one teacher who we got along really well freshman year and then junior year said that she in her parent teacher conference said that she asked too many questions and my mom was like that's weird like i feel like that's kind

the nature of like learning yeah and i had a thought and i don't maybe this is like um too harsh but my thought was like some high school professors obviously i don't want to paint with a broad brush some high school teachers are maybe butthurt that they like didn't become college professors and the reason that they're high school professors is like they don't have the same like level of expertise on the subject that a college professor would have and that's why when you're in college like they get like i'd never had a professor who wasn't stoked when you asked a question because they want to talk about this thing that they know everything about and like i was thinking maybe this teacher like was mad that she was asking questions because he

only knew what was like in the book and like couldn't elaborate on it and that's why he was mad is that too harsh of me to say i mean i i i feel like it's like you'd have to know the specific circumstances but because i feel like sometimes the one time asking questions can be annoying i think it's like if you're trying to move along or it's like people are asking questions just because they know that they want to be like perceived as like the teacher of like them or they want to be like you know a student who does well and like engagement or whatever so it's just like they're asking things that's like aren't productive or yeah she said he just wasn't doing a good job explaining it and so like yeah she was asking follow-up questions because she didn't

under the way he was explaining it didn't resonate with her i mean that probably is i do i feel like high school teaching is like a whole different ballgame like it's like primarily like character development and like true growing up and then secondarily it's like knowing about a thing that it's like you don't have to have that deep of an understanding of because as an adult you kind of know a lot of the shit from high school anyway i i just feel like when i was in school like when i was in college at least the professors would get were stoked when someone wanted to talk about this because that's the reason there are professors because this is what they're passionate about yeah like i remember this art history teacher i wish i could remember her name

fart history come on i'm joking it's one of the pillars of our society fart piss turdy um and when i asked questions she would like jump for joy because it was like oh no like like i so me and this girl tess sat next to each other yeah and we were the only two or i don't want to say there were other kids that that this was their major so they got this knowledge from other classes yeah this was my only chance to learn about art history so i was like a little bit more vocal yeah and uh i remember her just being like so pumped that these two kids wanted to like learn about what she was talking about we learned about the rococo period lauren pull up the swing the swing painting pull up swing swing by all american regents

this is the greatest painting of all time go not that's a stretch but so let's break this down do you see the guy in the back lauren like on the bottom or the bottom right so this is her husband yeah and she's swinging towards this other man who's tempting her and he is trying to pull her back god and i always like i like rococo paintings because it feels like you're in like a dream is rococo the style or the artist it's the style and like the period got it um but this is like the most famous one from that period i just always yeah i think it's such a cool period because they all like look like this is like what your dreams look like yeah that's not odd that's cool you know the name

for that i didn't know that there was a name i have a very limited knowledge but i know i know about we did basically this class like skipped through a ton of periods and you learned like surface level stuff about them yeah which i thought was more helpful for me than diving into like one totally that's very cool i love the colors like this was the class i got caught cheating in that's why i felt so bad oh really it was the it was the only class i like cared about when you like switched out of the thing 127 no that oh i got caught in that class yeah i did ever tell you that one oh it's like we talked about it before but this class i basically was it was the only class i was interested in i had my dates wrong i just i wrongly decided that it

was better to turn in a chat gbt episode then oh essay then then suck or soak a uh zero and i should have just told her like like i clearly cared about this class if i went to her and said like hey i fucked up can i have a two-day extension sheet surely would have yeah and then she let me rewrite it and i got an 85 oh that's 15 points off for cheating yeah this is uh all right lauren should we hear another pitch yeah i'm having a blast today guys i'm happy to have you back willie it's good to be back i missed you i'm uh i got vacay but then after that i'm excited to just be here i'm going on vacay on thursday or friday tell your ride tell your ride to hell you ride to hell you right oh i got i'm going i'm going to stage coach you're going yeah you got you should

meet up with ty's going oh really i got dylan gossett oh got me and chester if you see him tell him i say hello i haven't yeah we'll do i because when we were when we were in um nashville we were hanging out with his tour manager and he was like oh yeah i have these like stage coach comps i like don't really know who is going to want to go and then i like we talked about that night but like we were out late like drinking and stuff and i didn't really know that it was like locked in and then he texted me like the other day and he's like hey just want to confirm you you guys are still in his yes i mean scott are gonna go i'm really excited dylan gossett his manager and his team yeah obviously i don't have a i haven't met a ton of like band teams

yeah all of those guys fucking rock class acts yeah they're like i think it's because it's the same guys he's had like the whole time right like it wasn't like he blew up and then got like like cleaned house and got like a new team like it's like solid dudes that like came up together totally um where are you gonna go you're gonna get the whole weekend that's i don't know because like so i have like the passes which i'm guessing are good for the whole weekend but i don't know what like you're gonna get like i don't know where i'm gonna stay or talk to tie i can put you have tie's number oh yeah is he going just like for fun i think he's going for work but i think it's like fun for fun work he's inherently in a fun line of work so yeah let me

i should send me his number because i'll see i don't know if he has a has he figured out like what he's saying i talked to him very briefly okay oh i forgot i uh without consulting either of you added a new segment so i forgot that in the roadmap we are now doing rusty's song of the day okay where each episode i and i've started a playlist you guys can go follow it uh but every episode i'm going to add a new song i'm going to tell you what the song is and then you can go listen to this playlist and i hope when you listen into it you can think of me i love that i like that super cute uh lauren second pitch this is gonna be a long episode bong episode oh talking about themes we should do a bong episode we all get like bonged bong when's the last time you

ripped a bong been a long time last year maybe oh and you're still high from it okay second pitch is lauren stoner moment lauren say something hi lauren lauren say something hi right now say something say munchies say munchies i actually if anyone if any playmates out there have any way to curb the munchies it's mental fucking let me know because i've not figured you guys just not keep any of the stuff dude you clearly do not have the postmates app because 7-eleven i by the time i click order it is at my door in four minutes yeah that's wild how does that why it's just it's the perfect it's like the perfect distance away where it's just too far to walk but just close enough for a guy

on like a suzuki motorbike to like he might there might as well be a ramp up to my balcony because Lauren pitch us okay Ryan Silver says hello my handsome kings and Lauren what is the worst part about waiting in lines well there's a handful of things but what I noticed

what I noticed the other day was there was like a weird like competitive aspect to the line like we were all waiting to get into this place called Millie's Cafe in Silver Lake yesterday and we got sat before like a group that was already there yeah and they looked at us like they wanted to shoot me in the head uh yeah so it's that it's

that they want to shoot you in the head yeah waiting maybe also you have to wait in it standing yeah standing ryan ryan says you have to stand and it makes your feet and legs hurt even if the ground is super clean it looks weird to sit on the ground introducing pants chair there's a square attached to your boss bosom with four foldable legs so you can easily stand up and move when the line starts moving people may look and judge i guarantee you're also they're also jealous of your comfort additional additionally you can put a mag you could i'm sorry the word no the wording is crazy you put a magnet in your back pocket and there's one in the chair so it stays on when you're walking pretty normal sentence you were like the wording is crazy you put a magnet in

your back pocket you know we're just razzing you because we like you it's how that you're have you seen jury duty what i'm reading yes i've seen jerry duty what what's so sassy well what like what are you about to say that they do that the guy invents that in jury duty oh remember like the guy that he shares like the yes door with that guy's funny the blonde one todd or something yeah todd todd look up todd jury duty chair pants chance that's he has like two crutches on a thing so he can sit down actually just recently restarted this yeah i so good what if like the the line at the restaurant or whatever has like built-in chance where you sit and it like moves you all of you down like a conveyor belt oh i like that yeah and there's like some

camaraderie oh oh oh i got it i figured it out i figured it out i figured out none of you guys figured out here's how you revolutionize lines it's a roller coaster where the line is the roller coaster and while you're waiting you go and then when you're done like the front row gets off and everyone like moves up in the thing and so you're like entertained while you're waiting for the line ferris wheel yes dude come on all right good job all right you want to hear a pitch of the year please dude i've been waiting all fucking week how our finance guy always tells us to use like stuff like after pay and clarna and stuff do not to what like he says not to use it constantly is like do not use that

i gotta make some calls have you been using it no i'm joking uh i was doing a bit but yes obviously so this is before pay this is at places that you know that you like to buy stuff a lot you pay a little bit like every week or every month whatever you want and so you're basically like putting it into a fund that can only be used at that store it's awesome but when you you pay with your before pay you get a discount so you get 10 20 off right so it's like you put in money and it's you know usually stuff that's like expensive right so you can put in money over time that will accumulate and then you can buy it at a lower price in like an s&p tracker too so it's like getting like interest uh i don't think it would get interest i think the idea is

like it's just for that one store but then you just get a discount if you use that so it's just like a way to like ensure people are going to buy stuff there because they're building up that would also be awesome where you're like trying to figure out where to go tonight and you're like dude i got like yeah i got like 200 bucks at hanano's yeah i guess you can do it like i was thinking like stores but yeah like bars and restaurants would work too i always thought it was cool like in the in the midwest and like smaller towns you can have like an account at a bar yeah yeah like at the end of the month you just like pay your tab yeah i don't have any bar that would trust me enough to give me an account no that'd be sick though my dad had an account at a hardware store

uh and they could they let you get anything you want so that my dad would like send me and cam to go get like nuts or bolts or something yeah both get like a mounds bar oh that's like put it on the account it would just all be yeah well they don't he doesn't know what's on there yeah that's or he just was like yeah my or he's like my 19 year old my night but i guess yeah i guess i'll let my 19 year old son get candy bars he clearly needs this more than i do uh i love it willie what do you got for me i got some fucking good shit i just gotta remember what it is oh it's like a weird color it looks like it's healing it's healing it's like leather you

just leave it don't pick at it wait but i want to pick it didn't your butt didn't your brother have like the like the infinite scab like you can never let it heal no did yours all right whose brother had the infinite scab i don't want to go any further where's you like sat next to the worst guy at the bar did your brother have like an infinite your brother ever have an infinite scab no mine did cool so our bird died the one we had in our office died hit by a bus you got birded all right wait i feel like i put

some a secret in there while you guys were gone but i don't know are you doing a pitch yes oh jesus i've been waiting no go go go go all right introducing be your heroes what's the worst part about having heroes they never can't you can't beat them yep you don't know how to be them yep you want to desperately want to be them but you can't yep uh you plug in all the people that you look up to right yes and then it picks picks and chooses the best parts about all their um habits their routines their personality their style etc and then it gives you like actionable items i like to like kind of start to take the best things from the people that you look up to willie who do you look up to uh look up to my dad okay it would be like this is

these are like cool things your dad says that you can like start to work into conversation lauren you could be like who do you look up to uh gracie abrams you could be you could it could be like this is where she gets her haircut and you could maybe get a cool bop like her or something oh yeah um your teeth like split open i'm gonna split those teeth open girl what's open get that she has a cute little gap walk up to a girl at a bar what's up girl i want to split and fill that gap tonight i'll split that teeth open and fill that gap come on let me use it to floss all right um teach me something do you guys know about come on yes yes we are again yes we're back come on do you guys know about george best no it sounds really familiar you might know him he was like

the first fifth beetle yes oh yeah do you know about him yeah okay george best sometimes called the fifth beetle was the first like celebrity soccer player so like before like beckham and all these guys soccer players were like seen as athletes but not necessarily like yeah famous people in their own right like doing ads and like magazines and stuff like that so george best was this kid from ireland pull him up lauren he's devilishly handsome uh and he kind of looked like a beetle so yeah george best fucking awesome guy and uh he was like the first celebrity footballer right so he gets picked up by manchester united when he's 15 he makes his first start for them when he's 17 yeah and because of like how good one good he was at football but two like how

handsome he was uh he quickly became like extremely famous that's not him i don't think way too way too recent that's him but um well that other one's not that's not him i mean it literally says it is but look at his face it's not him i think he just looks like him unless that was like way later whatever anyway so he it was just it was just such a one where you couldn't see him at all and you're like that's him all right so basically he rises to fame extremely quickly he's like sleeping with like the hottest women he's like out partying he's like doing yeah brand deals whatever he buys this house in uh london or manchester and uh people figured out where he lived and so they were like having picnics in his yards and he like really started

to struggle with like becoming this famous this quickly yeah uh so he like resorts to drinking and uh would go missing for like weeks at a time like wouldn't show up to kind of the dream crazy and he would like he has all these awesome quotes he was like i went missing for a while miss canada miss world like he was it was awesome and then uh he had another great quote that was like uh i gave up drinking and uh i gave up drinking and women it was the worst 20 minutes of my life like he was just like this party boy uh another great quote was um was i spent a lot of money on booze birds and fast cars the rest i just squandered uh but yeah so he lives this awesome life and then but because of how much he was drinking he had like liver failure and like

it was working at like 20 of what your liver should be working at so he had like a liver transplant but then he couldn't stop drinking so on his deathbed after he lives this like amazing life that like everyone revered him and thought he was like the coolest he basically was like i regret all of it like that was that wasn't how i would have gone about it so it's a lesson in like moderation where like yeah too much of a good thing too much fun can actually be he died at 59 wait why would he be the fifth beetle then that's because he looked he he was like on their celebrity like he was like that famous and like had their haircut and like kind of i think i was thinking of there was a guy who was like actually in that's what i thought you were oh yeah the guy

that ringo replaced yeah yeah um but yeah damn yeah it was like his immune system wasn't working because he he had organ failure because his liver wasn't working but cool guy yeah he basically was like don't don't don't do it the way i did yeah yeah and like apparently like he's like a he's like a uh it's like they use him as an example when these new soccer guys get like super famous where they're like you need to learn how to manage it because be careful he was like partying so hard uh that's very interesting well i've got this was a funny one i um when we were flying to toronto from boston i went to look up our flight on uh it was like weird because like i didn't have like it was like air canada so i didn't have like the app or whatever so i was like trying to figure out

what gate i was leading out of so i just googled the flight number they googled air canada flight 759 and the first thing that comes up before my flight information is a wikipedia article about that exact flight number which was one a near miss one almost one of the worst disasters in aviation history oh my god it would actually been the worst it would have been like thousands dead basically this flight this air canada flight i think it was from toronto unless and landing in uh san francisco it was coming down it got cleared to come down on this one runway and it instead started coming down on a like parallel one it like misread it was like right one over and that one that it went to land on had four planes that were full waiting to get clearance

to go to the runways and take off god it was four entire full flights on the runway that it was landing on and it noticed at the last minute and pulled up and was 14 feet from hitting one of the planes holy and if it had not noticed and hit all four of them uh it would have killed like a thousand plus people so nobody like there was no everyone was fine all the flights took off as scheduled they just circled back around and landed on the right wrong way do you think anyone on the plane knew like you probably heard it right yeah i mean i don't know yeah they must have i was thinking about like the pilot on the one that was 14 feet away from getting obliterated and be like all right and now we're gonna take off like we got snacks yeah isn't there isn't

there's some like word for that where it's like when you're like that close to death there's like some term i don't know a close call but it it would have been where there's the tenerife airport disaster was a very similar basically the same thing happened it was actually i believe it was a plane taking off and had got all its momentum and then there was a plane waiting on the end of the air on the of the runway nailed it both planes everyone died or almost everyone in both of them like 600 people you know travis barker's private jet crashed yeah he survived he survived it he was on it was like he was on fire and then when he jumped out of the plane he landed in all the gas and he said he was running it was like crashed next to a highway he was running he's on fire

and he's like obviously you can't think in that moment so he's just like yeah amongst all that like jets are fucking exploding whatever and someone yelled from their car stop drop and roll and he like heard it and he like got down and did it and then his buddy the other guy that he grabbed like woke up and came and like patted out the last couple flames that all his friends died in the plane he was he was like oh my god he was like deathly afraid of flying and like didn't want to get on this plane and then like had to for some reason uh all right we do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard he rocks all day and he loves to dance he loves to pause this immediately and i

mean immediately yep all right this is a kid who is trying there his parents are trying to get his passport photo taken okay and he is having some trouble sitting still so let's give it a shot that's well not too much a little down more down a little normal just normal normal yes normal you don't have to just normal face normal face that's good good perfect all right i need you to close your now open your eyes just try to keep your head straight you know just normal just normal That's normal, that's normal, tilt your head up, close your mouth, chin up, nice, your head is tilted, no, no, don't make faces, you make, don't make a face, okay, just don't want your face to be straight, let's just, his head is tilted a little, it's got to be nice and still, it has to be straight, it has to be straight, otherwise it won't be good. Bro's trying his best.

Normal lips, normal, normal, normal. Just normal. I didn't look, I didn't look, just normal, just normal. just normal nope no thank you just normal nope just uh let's just do normal this time i got a passport how did that go all right i gotta send this one all right sent this is my this guy rocks this is i don't know what her name is she's a freak sally mullins well what she rocks she's a freaking cool cat that you didn't let me finish all right i hope why do us middle-aged white women wear so much camo when we really just want to be seen

wood wood wood lauren no all right well can i show you one more yeah willie you're at the club i think you guys you're at the club i loved it willie you're at the club cutting up a rug she sneaks up in front of you starts grinding on you what do you do sounds about right uh finish and then you're on one today am i saying crazy shit yeah you're being the pervert for a change air drop it air it's about time air drop it oh well i already said it more more more i said it um i'm i'm on one i was next to the elevator and suddenly i saw vader and suddenly i saw a hater what are you doing here next to the elevator why do you call me a hater no tears of an alligator

oh i what i didn't mean to make you cry that's a lie that made me kind of sad i hope i don't know what that is here's what i hope happens next i hope they both get into the elevator and i hope it goes to the top floor and right before it gets there i hope all the cables snap and they fall a hundred thousand feet into the core of the earth and then all they they didn't die but all their legs are broken and they just slowly heat up into molten lava and never can make another reel again all right should we get sure man he didn't mean that all right oh wait wait i gotta do rusty's song of the week where my name's rusty and i tell you the song of the week we will put the link to the playlist

right in the description here and if you can't find it it's on Spotify and it's Rusty's Songs of the Day Rusty's Songs of the Day today we have Going Home by Bob Andy

it is a great song, it's a little bit of reggaeton for you, a little bit of reggae maybe not reggaeton Bob Andy's a great name that's not his real name which is odd, let me pull it up one second oh hey hey bob andy uh one second born keith anderson oh bob andy uh a little backstory on this song it's a great vibe and i was listening to it on for the first time on a train that will

and i were on and in the song he goes i'm going home first train or he says first thing tomorrow but then he goes later in the song he says the first train tomorrow or something i was like oh that's what i'm doing and i really liked it so this is the first song on rusty's songs of the day go follow go listen every day uh that we release an episode i'm going to be adding a new song to it and i hope when you listen to it you think of me and the songs will keep getting longer they will get longer each time this song is about three minutes next week it's gonna be six wow it's gonna double every day until we have to just start adding episodes of this podcast that sounds awesome man uh all right willie what do you want to draft first man you tell me um

but which one are you doing because i got one on my phone one of my notebook black eye okay these are things to say when someone points out that you have a black eye all that matters is that the city is safe the toast popped out of the toaster way faster this morning want me to show you Like, how'd you get that black eye? Yeah. I like that. Yeah.

Someone said that all women shouldn't be cherished, and I had to teach them a lesson. There we go. Did you like that, Lauren? Mm-hmm. What did I say? Something about cherishing, you got to teach them a lesson. She got three of the words.

Pretty good. Sometimes you need to cherish, and then you'll get taught a lesson. Someone said that all women shouldn't be cherished, and I had to teach them a lesson. You shouldn't be cherished. Don't worry. they called it a touchdown say it again because i was talking don't worry they called it a touchdown i stopped a bus of orphans from falling off a cliff bird was flying a little low

i slipped in the shower dancing to oasis uh i don't see anything i got in a small disagreement with a shark i like that okay all right i've got strava captions all right these are the best captions for your strava workouts i was chasing the mailman i like that uh runny yolk wait i don't know why i said that runny yolk yolk yolk why am i saying it i don't know runny yolk this is when you do anything that combines cardio and lifting love it got chased by a pack of wild dogs joggy style i don't know where the hell i am this is if you pr uh me pr certified that's fantastic did your brother i was on travel your brother almost broke the half marathon world record by 50 seconds is that true no that's what it said and the pace matched up what it said he ran a

half marathon at four minute and 20 second speed no so he was in a car was he driving my brother yes on strava he did not say that i saw it this at this morning i feel pretty confident he didn't break the oh we almost broke it by 50 seconds no i mean that's literally impossible what yeah no it looks like it it looks like it the thing like glitched clearly i don't think so i think you can see on here it's all fucking there's no way it goes into the ocean his route crosses water he's we ran a triathlon he clearly like yeah i don't know like a car was he in a car i think what uh i think what happens he was telling me that like in new york city yeah like some of it's something he ran a few one minute miles uh yeah mile two he ran in two seconds

he told me that in new york sometimes with the big buildings strava gets all like fucked up naked mile like that uh all right my idea was just world record which is like you see your buddy posted world record you're like obviously there's no way but you gotta look it's true it's gonna get some eyes trying to get away from crazed fans if you have a bad run you put a lot of traffic gives you know people give you the benefit of the doubt i like that a lot uh it's been fun all right lauren whose personality you're gonna steal sharknado whose personality oh guess what i'm doing i'm house sitting i'm dog sitting again this weekend for those little beagles bagel bagels so i'm just gonna take like a really

mellow person's personality and take a really mean shit and then and then just like chill really hard great whoever whoever that wants i am gonna steal lindsey vaughn's personality because i'm going skiing this weekend and uh i'm excited to hit the slopes i'm gonna go really fast and i'm gonna have some drinks and i'm gonna hang out oh yeah just like lindsey did i am stealing noah lyles's personality because i'm running a race on saturday i'm gonna be insufferable is he insufferable he just like picked a bone with the nba for some reason which i always thought was oh yeah world champion of what well yeah i think that's a dumb take but i'm gonna win the charles what are you i'm doing the the bridge run in charleston it's like 10k on saturday trying to get under 45

minutes which i will check back in next how many miles is it 10k like 6 6.2 so it'd be like 7 15 pace why don't they call it a 6.2 i don't know if i can do it but i'm gonna call it a 6.2 m because we're in america oh i'll call him i'm sorry i'll call him right now all right guys we love you so much and uh i hope you have a great rest of your monday great uh tuesday and we will see you bright and early with a guest very fun guest very special guest on wednesday lauren play that gd tm that's goddamn theme music for the players at home come on keep it tight later