Will & Rusty's Playdate - sneaking my uncle into stagecoach

Episode Date: May 13, 2025

Will and Rusty are back to share crazy boss stories, explain how they ruined AFTV, and detail how one fart altered the Scenic Piss Instagram page. The boys also get Binder Blasted and hear from Lauren herself all the way from Spain. Plus, they draft Lana Del Rey songs and ways to say you’re spoken for. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepodSHOP OUR MERCH: https://almostfriday.shop/collections/playdate-podRUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: HUEL: Get Huel today with this exclusive offer for New Customers of 15% OFF + a FREE Gift with code PLAYDATE at https://huel.com/PLAYDATE (Minimum $75 purchase). ACCELERATOR: Try Accelerator today via amazon https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/FB06B38E-F0C2-479F-9DA5-FD4A1C852B07?channel=Playdate DOLLAR SHAVE CLUB: Visit their site right now for 20% off $20 or more, and get your products delivered right to your door. Visit http://dollarshaveclub.com/playdate and use promo code PLAYDATE for 20% off $20 or more. LIGHTSTRIKE: An excellent source of 5% alcohol. Head to https://www.drinklightstrike.com/ to find Lightstrike near you! 00:00 Intro3:43 Crazy Bosses6:32 Rice Pilaf 29:10 Binder Blast10:54 I Ruined AFTV20:02 ChatGPT21:34 Ubers Can’t Crash28:18 Getting No Ass at Stagecoach31:39 Getting Into Fidgeting34:36 Fart Heard Round The World40:21 We’re Getting Married This Year47:45 Quitting Our Job49:38 Roadmap52:20 Pitches1:09:35 Teach Me Something1:13:50 This Guy Rocks1:16:47 Ways To Say You’re Spoken For1:17:58 Lana Del Rey Songs That Don’t Exist1:20:13 Rusty’s Song of the Day Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

we just made emily oh double and double announcement uh lauren is still in spain binders here in town i know you all wanted me on this i thought it was funny on the last episode that i i forgot that like grace had no context to it being a joke that she moved to mexico so i was like our producer lauren like is big fan of yours she was like oh well uh hope enjoy your life in mexico fun in mexico uh we made emily run through a checklist that she made for herself because here's the thing i'm fucking tired of it it's not you it's not me it's not it's every once an episode something happens and i'm just i'm sick and tired we gotta whip this place into fucking shape um i can't see i also can't see emily at all which is kind of a nice setup nice

okay great so will's stomach isn't gonna hurt this episode last time he got a little nauseous Emily say hi to the playmates Hi playmates Happy to be here Please be nice Play date Play date Episode 104

Number 4 is Isaiah Thomas Or no Is he? No he was 11 Oh the other Isaiah Thomas The Pistons? No no no

The Celtics The Celtics Isaiah Thomas Who Isaiah Thomas? No no no No Oh my god Okay Lauren

I'm glad Lauren told Emily To still suck at Googling No other Isaiah Isaiah Thomas Click on the one below The one below see results about that right there god damn god damn yeah number four wow what a pull well it was on accident i was picturing the pistons one and i was like oh that actually

worked out that's all um emily you know the playmates love you do they yes yeah one of them wrote a song about you really go with it go with it uh i'm having some tea right now from dog town i my throat t woke up this morning what oh t sis you know why'd you get ashamed of that that got really nervous uh i thought maybe you were gonna say like gay you thought i was gonna be like gay i don't come on man we're guys we're not gonna call each other gay oh i i actually called something gay this morning but it was jesus man no no hear me out it was like something that's like literally gay and i didn't i didn't explain that so flan got me these short these carhartt shorts i'm very excited about him she goes i'm worried they're too long if they're

too long you can just like cuff them once and i was like i don't know that's kind of gay because like only the only my only the only guys i know that do that are gay and she was like what you can't say that i'm like no that's literally gay you're digging yourself i don't know if this is coming out the way you did oh really i mean it's fine but it's like that is what the what do you mean i don't know i mean it's not literally homosexual i don't know it's like name the last time you saw a guy if you see a guy walking european bro europe yeah yeah what are they doing europe willie they go to fucking town on each other if you and i were born in poland we would be fucking airtight on each other's hoses right now man give me a mind numbing

i'd be giving you a fucking mind-boggling horror poor page our like head of our podcast department listens to every episode she was like congrats on the 100th episode also it was like on this like meteoric rise on the spotify charts and yeah at this moment we are 30th in the world number 30 podcast podcasting and she said and page is like yeah you guys went on way too long about how you we'd give him like the craziest mind altering hummers it felt bad it's funny that our bosses have to listen to this yeah he's like an adult she's like engaged she has like a life can we talk about the crazy thing we won't name names but the crazy boss thing at another company probably not basically you know without giving too much information away someone found out that

their boss was the the masked man asking them for dudes for money from a fake which is crazy not at this company not at this company what would you find what would you do if you found out edge was edge was texting you asking for like booty hole pics i would be stoked because i would never i would not have to work hard at all ever again you know what i mean i'd be like i have to work just you can't fire me you'd have to work just hard enough that um that it wouldn't reflect poorly on him yeah i'd have to come and do the podcast but i would be like i'm not no more i won't say the things i don't like but i would i would immediately get rid of all my obligations that i don't like also we now have they added like a security thing where like you

can like i forgot my key card just now when i went to get a diet coke you can and i like rang a thing and then edge like talks to you yeah is it on his phone because he wasn't in his office when i walked by it's from his it's probably it's probably like butterfly like we have butterfly at my house no it was a doorbell it was a doorbell are you happy all right yeah put a uh put a laugh like a seinfeld laugh track when the first time i say doorbell make it sound like i brought the house down um are you editing something i think andrew might because i'm gonna be out of town that's okay he's he's good he'll listen and do that i had a so we have butterfly at my apartment and it's like they can click a screen or a button or something yeah and i can like let

them in through my phone or whatever but it's like a video like i can see them on video yeah they can't see me but they can hear me and i had a ups guy he rang the thing and i was like one second it's loading and i guess it wasn't coming through to him it took me like a couple it took me max like 10 seconds to unlock the door and you can hear a noise when it unlocks it so it goes like and he just goes fucking idiot went in like i couldn't figure out how to do it that's awesome well i was like he because he came on and i didn't immediately couldn't tell his voice because it's kind of like static even it comes through and he's just like who are you here to see and i was like is this like connected like the other company or like is there like a maybe

some sort of like security he couldn't see you he could the person could see me and i think it was edge fucking with me but the but he came over and just said like who are you here to see and i was like like is there like a third party that like vets like and i was like alex edge and he goes nope denied go and then i was like all right wait can i can i show you guys something real real this gives me a real uh riot it gives me a real right it gives me a real hoot uh not like those fake ones i was sent this uh from the people they're the girls that live in my old college house okay who evidently uh are fans of my magnum opus and wait can i drop off too yes yeah i'm airdropping it to the podcast and so i was sent this by someone who like met them

it is a shot for shot remake in the same now wait pull up rice peel off too wait go to my or just search there's no way does that come up i i would be shocked if it didn't oh you guys got rice peel off too they made a rice peel off too how fun is that did they have rice peel off too they made a rice peel off too is that scott yeah it's got oh my god it's not awesome how'd they get your number uh i they didn't some a guy that i know that's about still at bc was like at that apartment and they were like oh do you know this guy i don't know how it came up but he just sent he was like you still have buddies at bc yeah because of my comedy group like true the this kid was like a freshman

when i was a senior the kids that are i think i'm on my last year of kids that i was friends with at school so you do too then but you're a year older than true true true you facts you facts bro you all right take this shit off you're gonna have to you're gonna have to make sure that everyone who gets that house next does it for the rest of time do you think like there's like a hundred versions do you think in like 20 years they will there will be like a plaque on the cabinets we were laughing about that i was showing it to falbo and he was like it's like the like bench from uh forrest gump in savannah yeah it's like a big like people go and like take their pictures or like john belushi you know when he hits that guy's guitar in animal house like

smashes the guy's guitar you put up you haven't fucking seen it what do you fucking what do you do what do you do we give up when the germans bomb pearl harbor that's from animal house that's the one line you know yeah it's like the germans it's like quiet he's on a roll um i don't know my dad used to always say that my dad loves that movie and i should have watched it quiet he's on a roll yeah that sounds like something like we Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good. But they like framed the hole that he hit in the wall. And it says like, whatever.

Frame this hole, am I right? Come on. Come on. Emily, tell us what's on. What's fucking new with you, brother? Yeah, what type of shit are you on, kuh? I've just been feeling down because I got a lot of hate on this past week's episode of Why?

Almost Friday Podcast. Because I told a story that I ended up having to cut like the whole butt, not butt of the joke but like the point of the story because it was something that i didn't want my friends to hear because it was like i have to cut this part but it was not nice about my friends anyway just just that one part okay um i just had to cut it so that i certain people didn't see it and i didn't have enough time to like like will basically didn't make a note to cut the entire segment so i thought he felt it was necessary to keep in and it really wasn't and tell what did you tell us what did you people were mad that it was like a bunch of the pod was like you like building up

a story and then that i yeah exactly which is so fair by the way guys interesting at all normally i would have got time to go look back at it but since i've been like yeah lauren's work on my own i just didn't and i'm sorry and i just feel bad about it i wouldn't beat yourself i wouldn't be yourself up but i would learn from it no i am learning from it because of course liam texts me the next day he's like we're not doing that anymore doing what like don't tell stories you're gonna cut i think that's probably right wait how mad were people that like this was like a big deal i don't know a lot of people in the comments i didn't really read them all because i don't want to get upset like give us an example comment just like classic binder

like telling a story oh that's oh that now that is too far imagine being you can say you can say binder but that you saying classic binder classic makes it worse you can go look for yourself i don't i don't really want to look because right hey imagine being the guy who wrote the how to's yeah what was uh what was that experience like i got i feel like i got set up for failure you wrote those yeah i didn't know that it the aftv has been in like these huge fights and everything and like they're like our channels ruined forever and it's all over this shit i but in my defense i was given we were told to make a how-to series yes me it was me and chester wait why do they think it's ruined forever i saw a lot of comments on reddit about that too yeah people are not happy

about i didn't know the extent of it i just saw like a couple because i don't read that deep i know i saw a couple that were just like okay which is totally fine and i feel like a we got set up where it was like they they they were like all right we're gonna do these like little series in between the seasons right and it's like a company it's like a mandate from the bosses so that there's something still coming out every single week and we were told to do the how-to idea which has come up you know someone else came up with that idea uh and then they're like and it's gonna be the first one that comes out and then they didn't my frustration is like they didn't communicate to the audience at all like we're gonna be doing these series in between the

main seasons and like the whole idea of these is that they're lower kind of budget easier lift and you know like just something to kind of it's like bonus content in between the seasons and they didn't really communicate that at all and then just put out what felt like four of the same kind of sketch in a row and everyone's just like what the hell is going on and like some of them were funny and i also don't like i don't think they were like i think they could have been better too so that's like definitely i take ownership there but i also felt like it was just like sending me to slaughter for my first time getting to write aftv stuff well i think like what people don't understand is the amount of pressure there is to come out with a

new sketch every single week and like nobody really understands how much i mean that's not a sustainable time that's just not a sustainable model yeah 52 sketches in a year those sketches are like mini like movie productions yes it's not a week turnaround and these were like dude like one of them i wrote this i i think i've said this to you but like we were in disney world there was also like no bad communication like I'm not like in all the AFTV meetings so I'm not like always like aware of like the timeline of things I got told while we were in Disney World the day before or I was like in the Atlanta airport or some shit leaving going to Disney World I forget what we're doing but they're like we need a script tomorrow we need the first draft and we didn't even have

an idea for that how to and so I came up with the idea in the Atlanta airport wrote a draft of a script sent it off then was in disney world like doing all the shit for like unscripted never saw assumed that there would be like a like process of like punching up the script and like working on it i got back a week later and i was like hey how's that script going they're like oh yeah we shot it it got shot by the time i was back from the one draft i sent no no edits on it they just made it and so then it's like yeah wait which one was that the how to fix a leak the one with Crawford yeah which he actually cracked me up in and that like I I stand by it like it made me laugh but it was just like oh man I don't know all the comments were like what the fuck is this that last

video was like the worst video that ever had on the channel how many views did it get like 150,000 yeah they like had to call like in a meeting like Tyler like I could hear Tyler like screaming at Edge like these these videos are fucking ruining our channel and I'm like in the other room like oh my god whatever man i i fucking morons taking us down and like to to everyone's credit like everyone has been like like they they're not like no one's blaming me at all everyone's like this was a nightmare spot to be put in like like you have to write forward things about this yeah i don't know well i think it honestly helps the case of like that there should not be one every single week of the year yes well it just it just like here's an example of why and there you

go and like just helps the case and the whole reason was that they could like make more money probably and it's like there weren't even post roll ads on those videos so it was like literally i don't know everyone's freaking out they're worried that when the new season starts like the videos will be lower and if that is the case everyone's gonna be really mad but it's just funny that the the source of all this drama is what i when i was first asked to do it i was like wow this is a huge opportunity i'm gonna get four sketches on atv that i'm writing like but not ever man that's college you had like a big willie i think it was the same week walked past another meeting of we already said the name but someone just being like calling us

me and willie like babies and gonads or something yeah he's like these fucking babies idiots keep going over on their podcast and feeding into our studio time and i was like the fuck i was walking in here and another one of the guys from the sports annex was like are you guys just starting to record now and i was like yeah they're like oh damn it i was like why they were like we got told to stop playing basketball like five minutes ago all right that's fine you're fine i also even said you don't have to stop right now i said you have three minutes to stop because i assume you guys are gonna come in three minutes you ended up coming in five like come on you got any big weekend plans i've realized like a lot of the in the comments of

the how to's people like we're like what the fuck's going on and the only context they had was like something a conversation we had on this about it like the what did we say like i think i just mentioned like it's a four-part series and so i feel like this is the only way people are hearing like the bat like i don't even know if i'm supposed to be saying all this but i don't really good so what uh so what'd you say big weekend plans big weekend plans uh yeah i'm having a killer barbecue tomorrow you guys are both coming i know i'm excited are you gonna dress up i'm thinking about wearing my seersucker derby suit that would be fun i'm i told i said no attire required because i don't really want to dress up but i have a horse shirt yeah man so

i'm probably gonna wear my horse shirt actually i have a i have a do you know what a party shirt is yeah i'm gonna wear a party shirt perfect it's a button down emily where each panel is a different uh color oh i didn't know that i thought you meant just like a cool shirt oh like this is my party shirt it's like yeah chicks making out wait google party it's called party shirt like a party shirt button down yeah so it's that like like similar to that one on the left where oh that's fine each panel is a new color i think i've seen you wear that i like it you definitely have not seen me wear it unless unless you went to college with me i went to college i only think i've worn that i've worn that shirt probably twice and both times

uh were in college that was a killer fucking story yeah that was pretty good emily you're not talking very much today man it's bumming me out what do you i feel like i have been i don't want to overshadow your beautiful pod i don't know i'm hammered guys if you're constantly on the move or just tired of skipping meals huel has you covered they're today's sponsor spelled h-u-e-l and their black edition ready to drink is a total game changer willie show them bang bingo it's a complete meal in one bottle with 35 grams of protein 27 vitamins and minerals high fiber and low sugar so you feel full focused and ready for your day no prep no cleanup just grab and go huel's already sold over 500 million meals around

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on it okay they're working on that technology so we will keep you posted on that seriously guys start saving time and money without compromising your nutrition today with this exclusive offer for new customers of 15 plus a free gift using my exclusive code playdate at huel.com that's 15 plus a free gift for new customers using my exclusive code playdate at huel.com please see our description for the terms and conditions skip the stress not the nutrition try huel today for complete nutrition bottled let's get back into the episode wait you this is so platy and energy what i did with chat gpt the other day what there's this been this bird chirping outside of my windows every 5 a.m like and it wakes me up every 5 a.m every 5 a.m this bird starts chirping

like it's still pitch black out yeah and the other day i woke up from it and i was just like getting frustrated so i asked chat gpt how is there a way to like make this stop like what can i do um how can i hunt this bird down and they were like i know that really sucks whatever it didn't give me much suggestions but they were like i'm so sorry yeah they were like it's really unfortunate but there's really not much you can do um but they did say let me know if you want to find out what bird it is and then i started getting curious so i was able to get a recording of the sound of the chirp and figure out which bird it was through chat gpt and it took a couple tries to like i was like can you send me more options does it help that it's in california

and los angeles and i ended up matching up a chirping the chirping of this bird with the chirping wait do you have it because i had a new bird this morning that was driving me fucking nuts yes it sounded like a robot if yours it gave you the answer you didn't like the answer and so you picked from a list that it gave you so basically it gave me options and then i was able to click on those options and like it would play the noise of the bird interesting and it wasn't it wasn't the correct bird for a couple tries and then i said can you give me some more options here's some more context and then i ended up finding oh i took my first waymo waymo which i have i had previously uh not given this oh yeah i thought you hate them i was like i was very

anti-waymo for a while and i took one and the only thing i didn't like about it was you have to wear your seatbelt because it knows but then i figured out if you just buckle it you just buckle it before you sit down then you can sit down because it's not a normal seatbelt it like clicks in so you're like it's like a roller coaster like you're like strapped do you still not wear seatbelts in ubers never why would i not wear a seatbelt at that point just put on the fucking seatbelt ubers can't crash i've been in an uber crash not like they can't get in fatal ones it's they haven't they haven't gotta be safe man they haven't passed that yet that's like the number one way to die is a car accident that's just not true what's the number heart heart disease

probably what's the number one way to die okay heart disease thank you wait go back down a leading cause of death go down scroll down click that let's see it heart disease cancer third it's a third way to die that's just accidents in general like an accident could be okay all right outside of like but like diseases and illnesses and it's definitely the number one way to die no car crash no google top ways to die that isn't a disease top ways to be killed top ways to be killed the uh boom number one motor vehicle number two is poisoning wait time out These are unintentional injuries.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. As opposed to what? Intentional injuries. Number one, suicide. Willie, by your logic. Wait, I was looking at that.

Sorry. Hey. God. By my logic, what? By your logic, like I should be wearing floaties when I swim because drowning is technically an unintentional injury or like I should never. You think that that's the same? You're insane.

Are you being serious right now? I'm just saying I don't think it's the same at all. wearing floaties when you swim is wearing a seatbelt no i'm just saying like like to europe like just because it is the number one thing doesn't mean that like that could ever happen to me it absolutely could happen it could happen to me that doesn't mean it will happen to me i just don't personally in the way in when i'm in an uber i'm more the bigger threat to me is the uber driver like shooting you no like you know knife knifing you grenading you're more worried about an Uber driver grenading you?

I'm just saying, like, there's a... Like, the bigger threat in the car is the stranger. You're so wrong. It's not even funny. This is insane. That's so...

It's definitely true that the bigger threat in the car is the stranger than the car. I mean, are you... Are you joking? What? Okay. You think more people are... Wait, wait, wait, wait, whoa.

Hey. This is the worst take I've ever heard. Wait, Emily, go to chat, GBT. Go, are there more assaults or more car crashes? More... Wait, assaults just in the world or from Uber drivers? In the world.

They're still a stranger. Are there more assaults per year? That's not what we're talking about. I'm saying there's a better chance. You're just trying to reframe it so you can get something. There's a better chance I get assaulted than I get in a car crash. No, there isn't. But not by your Uber driver who's done a background check.

Let's just see. They do background checks. Why don't we just find out? This is just not relevant. Oh, and look, car crashes are more common than assaults. So even when you do your dumb little method. What about rape? Assaults plus rapes plus.

That's all types of assaults. Assaults plus rapes. That counts that. It says if including all assaults. And six million. It's six times more as likely. No, it's four million if it includes all those other ones. What?

It literally says. No, I'm talking about car crashes is six million. I know. I'm saying assaults is four million. How does that help your point? I'm just saying there's two threats. and like i you're so you're gonna account what are you doing to protect yourself from an assault i if the if the seat belt's not on i can use it as a weapon the second he comes i can fucking

wrap around his neck yeah yeah wait i have it i have it almost clicked in the whole time and if it comes i go uh you should wear a seat belt when you're in a new definitely i just don't like to do it like yeah that's the greatest thing about this greatest part about this country i can do whatever i want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else yeah you are 30 times more likely to die in a car accident when you wear your seat when you don't wear your seat belt okay i don't even know what to say i'm more i'm more just saying i wear it when i drive my own car i wear it typically when i'm in someone it's just there's no there's no thing that dings if i'm in the backseat so i why would i wear it i'm aware that it's more dangerous i'm just saying i don't

like the way it feels on my body so i unless i have to wear it i don't want to wear it and when an uber driver asked me to put on i put it on with no with no fuss that's good no fussed um what was i gonna say i gotta can i tell you something sure i wrote a few things in my notes app which is uncharacteristic very mellow today i'm very mellow no we are very mellow and i'm kind of like in the it's friday we never record on fridays it's like friday afternoon it's the last thing after this i'm gonna go uh like uh piss off a roof and black out in that order do you want to hear my bird chirp willie so we could see oh yeah hit me with that bird oh that's just a normalized bird completely normalized bird doing its thing what's wrong

with that it's fucking no i get i have really loud chirps too it's all it's all it woke me up i like it though just that's too i mean obviously that's too early close once the sun is rising it's fine white noise set white noise alarm i literally have ear i've been putting in earplugs i've been putting a fan on that basically has white noise i think you we we knock down everywhere they used to live and put apartment buildings and then we're like you chirp when the sun comes up no i think we should that's why i need more apartment buildings you're proving my point give them nowhere to live

your point was we need more of Parker when alright this is what I was going to say when I was at Stagecoach that's what I call

Stagecoach last weekend I me and we had that was silly thank you we were in like a

it was in like a gated community I think like a lot of the Airbnbs out there Stagecoach or sorry no like sorry Airbnbs

a lot of the Airbnbs are in like gated communities where is it Palm Springs yeah like out that way it's like like Coachella Indio technically

it's like where they do Coachella we were in this airbnb in a gated community like going into it i had like said to your roommate ty i was like is this gonna be like an issue like should we get a different airbnb he's like nah they're like because it said like you can only come in if you're staying there like and i need everyone's names i was like is that real and he's like nah like it's not like they say that but like it's always chill like you can bring your friends in and stuff like whatever we get there it's like hot maximum security only people they check your id and verify that you're

on the list that i sent our airbnb host and otherwise you cannot get in and uh like one of the people in our house tried to bring girls back the one night and they like were like nope and they just had the girls had to just like wait on the curb and call an uber home which is crazy because apparently like two years ago they had like a rager like someone like people were like jumping off roofs into like the lake and shit and like going absolutely nuts but anyway you didn't get any ass this weekend no i've been i've been steering clear for lately ass dude i've been laying low i've been laying low uh oh ty decides on the saturday he wants to he really wants to bring his buddy because they're all gonna go to

the festival together we're like how do we how do we get him in and he's like let's message the airbnb host and see if she can put him on the list and then he's i'm like all right but you gotta do it like i had the airbnb on my app my like i had booked it through my name but i was like i don't want to be part of this like it's like awkward to ask like you have to figure it out and then he's like talking in circles he's like what's like what do i say that's believable like i don't want to think we're partying yeah he gets like so it's so hung up he's like i'll say it's my uncle i was like what i'll say my uncle he gives me the phone back he's like all right messenger i look at the phone it's like hey my uncle just got to town randomly i guess he wants

to stop by for just a second he's my uncle is that okay can he get on the list i was like what this is like the writings of a crazy person and the lady i'm gonna sorry continue she responds she's like no so he has to go out pick his buddy up down the block hide him like under a blanket in his back seat and drive in i am like i'm gonna defend my boy here a little bit yes that is like really that's not a very good lie yeah i like that he's not a good liar like i think that that yeah he's like endearing and funny and like he's not he's not good at it so you know when he you know if he i don't think i've ever seen him lie yeah um and it i think it's a testament to his like character that he never he never like forged that skill yeah he never sharpened his sword he

never yeah no that's a good point like literally can't it was just very funny to me he's like uncle why did i say uncle oh he after was like what why did i do that my uncle just got to town it's like a tim robinson like lied my uncle just got to town randomly no one thought he was gonna be here but my uncle's here right now and we have we have to let him in now he's like no also i left my fucking cowboy hat there like an idiot at the airbnb did you have lost two stetsons now well i think i hope i can get this one back i messaged the lady oh wait you just left at the airbnb that's not the end of the world and i messaged her and i was like was there a cowboy hat left there and she goes yeah there were four hey emily what's going on with your fingers today because

every time i look over it looks like you're texting but you're just like going to town it's called it's called fidgeting like i need something to do with my hands it's horrible yours have grown back though not really can i say there was a point where you like didn't have fingernails so i guess that's any any nail is a good nail for willie that's that's i don't exist i've never had the urge it's pretty gross i don't know why i've been i mean i've done my literally since i can remember being alive the only time i'll bite him is if i just don't have time to clip him and i'm already in the car i'll bite him and spit him out the window so nice but like doesn't it how do you get him down to like

no it hurts see that i don't know what you're like fighting through the pain this one hurts right now no no yeah like so but i don't so i like have started getting my nails done to a way where they don't chip for like a month so i can't pick them but then i start picking the skin around them sorry i know that's gross skin around them i do that too like your cuticles yeah yeah and i like your cuticles thanks man and like it sucks like i like bit this one the like yesterday i went to try to play a little guitar after work and i had bit this one so low that it like hurt to strum and i'm like what am i doing it's crazy how he just can't make it stop it's like self-harm i think no i think it's like uh it's like the same people that like pull all their hair out

until they're bald you get addicted to pulling them out one by one and then they look literally like how many hairs do you think you and i have a hundred thousand each 50 at least yeah i had a cousin i got a lot less than last episode i have a cousin that he doesn't do it anymore but when he was younger he would rip out his eyebrows if he had no eyebrows i do it my eyelashes you ever see that you do that oh i i've done that i can't even look at you do that why would you do that that willie why would you do that stop doing that i don't think those ones grow back as much i don't why why would you do that sometimes if i really needed if i needed good luck i'd pull out and that's just so i can make the wish sometimes i just pull my uh my dick

out and i i don't really want to do this this sentence anymore uh emily you don't have balls so you've never done this but if you if you pull a hair out of your balls it either doesn't hurt at all like you don't feel it or it's like the most painful thing of all time like spouting blood so do you like play a game with yourself like sometimes i'm like in the shower and i'm like sitting on my like little bench and i get bored and when i cross my legs like this my balls are sitting like this i'm just looking at him and i'll be like i could go for a quick hair pull and it's either like it either like comes out like but like night like a hot knife through butter or it's like that it feels like someone is like injecting my testicles with um acid

emily help me yes thank you willie emily you you couldn't come up with fucking acid no one i got another story my scenic piss bombed really i look at instagram go to scenic pisses our company like all hits our company bought this account called scenic pisses i hiked and i did my viral hike i tried to this is oh we mentioned this on a previous episode this is the highest peak in southern california so willie i was the highest pisser yeah look at on the left well yeah that's me that's watch click on it like every other piss is awesome i think i had a bad dream that's actually not as scenic as i think you would think it is i think you should have had someone else record it that's not how it works yeah yes it is wait scroll that

that's very rare that's very rare right here emily that's very rare that's ben barrett that's extremely is that ben that is ben barrett wait go back to mine can you look at the comment wait what you passed it sorry over the comms like flaming you well it's because i fart at the end can't have rain without thunder dude was so relaxed you leveled out 10 out of 10 strong stream brother the thing is i i like didn't have to pee that bad so i was clenching so hard to pee that i could not help myself the point was to get the fart no i was no i was i was like trying so hard to pee that i was like using all my muscles down there i thought you meant you didn't have to be but you did have to fart and you were like all right it was i it was hard to

pee and i was pushing so hard that everything down there was gonna come out yeah can you like can guys like like for me i can like clench to stop pee from coming can you do that yes what like while you're stop you go like and you stop yourself yeah yeah i don't know if you know this but you can like move your penis like that's kind of interesting if you go like it'll be like not soft not soft oh yeah yeah i'm not talking about like soft penises moving that would be crazy that would be voodoo mine's like mine's like you know one of those like strings on or worms on like an invisible string you'd get like in your stocking as a kid i can do that wait sorry what it's fine

emily when was last time you hooked up with a guy jesus i'm not answering that on the really guy college and i kissed on wednesday yeah every cold cases he makes me kiss him i don't make you kiss me you make me fuck you and we end up kissing all right folks you've heard it before but uh if you haven't upgraded your energy to accelerator right now you are seriously missing out uh we both drink these every day and i can't really think of a better endorsement for a product quite honestly uh i uh went on a hike last weekend i brought one in my backpack and i drank it at the top of the mountain and i flew down that shit uh the cotton candy flavor still a favorite i can't tell at first i thought maybe like the new

factor was always better wear off but nope this one is effing delicious i was not feeling that great this morning and i was like okay what what did i do differently forgot to have my morning accelerator i felt like a million i feel like a million look at me i feel like a million bucks after again it's zero sugar gets the metabolism going it's 100 natural caffeine and there isn't an energy drink that tastes better if you need a sign to go try it this is it my friends hit the link in the bio to go get it on amazon today tell them that we sent you all right guys we're here to talk to you about one of our new favorite sponsors dollar shave club guys grown facial personal amen we grow it we style it we shave it differently willie's going for a little mustache

right now i'm going for a little stubble but when i do i've been i haven't grown a mustache in a while i've been going clean shaven and when i do go clean shaven you best believe daddy's going at it with the three-in-one freestyle i shaved this morning everything but my mustache and uh guess what i used bingo got a shave club come on i use the razor that what do they call it it's got the oh the club the club series the handle yep it's like it feels like your hand's getting a massage while you're shaving yeah and uh ladies out there or men whoever's into will i want you guys to know that even though he's keeping he's letting it grow on the top of the lip he's not forgetting from the shoulders down willie is still just as baby smooth as ever he's been yes it's like

looking except for my cosmic bush except for his cosmic but well so a lot of people don't notice willie actually does a fade out so it is very concentrated huge bush in the middle and then it fades out onto his uh legs yep um and that's very fun for me i before it was kind of giving me like a like like beard burn on my chin right and uh now it's like a pillow it's like a pillow that i sleep on yes willie got cowboy pillows tattooed on his nuts yeah exactly it's awesome uh the shave butter i actually love here's what i'll say about the shave butter they have this great it's like uh completely like see-through yes and so you can see everything so like with my new mustache where i'm trying to figure out where to go and where not to go it's i get a

little more control it's precise it's really great and hey you don't have to take our word for it you can try it yourself dollar shave club products are now available everywhere so you can order them from their website amazon or get them at your favorite retailer near you alternatively you can visit their site right now for 20 off 20 or more and get your products delivered right to your door visit dollarshaveclub.com slash playdate and use promo code playdate for 20 off 20 or more and remember whatever you shave welcome to the club let's get back into the episode oh i learned i learned this the other day we were driving home from we're driving to the airport from easter and we were talking weddings yeah there are all these like unwritten old-timey rules that

apparently people are like still expected to follow like let's say let's say emily and i got married oh emily and i got married emily's if emily you have a brother right emily's brother would be one of my groomsmen and my sisters would be emily's correct whatever regardless of how close you are with them wait what happened so like if emily and i got married her brother would be one to buy groomsmen yeah yeah and you know my sister no yeah if we're like not boys if you're not if you're not if i'm not close with my brother then he probably wouldn't be in it but if i am close to my brother he's your groomsman and then the bride's parents typically pay for the wedding and the groom's parents typically pay for the rehearsal dinner what if there's like a huge

imbalance in like i feel like then i think that it it varies yeah i feel like that probably is less i heard of a wedding where the groom's parents are much richer than the bride's parents and they kept the thing they kept the normal whatever yeah i don't know case by case it depends on like what your parents want okay what if like when i get married i'm like balling the fuck out and i want to have a sick wedding then you can help contribute but the wedding still the marriage still counts yeah it's just not as real so like if you get in one fight it's over right it's like a instant if you get in one fight it's over i never saw my parents kiss i hate it when they kiss it makes me uncomfortable i don't know i mean as long as you're not like giving each

other a tongue bath i'm like well because my dad like he'll do stuff he's like yeah and i'm like stop it no but that's like way better than it doesn't like play it up to make us uncomfortable right right yes you're right it's better than yeah way better than like like them like hating each other and being together yeah no you're right um i think that when i get buried i will try and keep it pg around the kids but i think i think it's weird to like not do it because your kids yeah it's where they learn what a healthy relationship looks like i don't know if it works because no one in my family is in a relationship besides your parents besides my parents wait that means you're not settling willie yeah yeah it is kind of interesting i mean i got i'm the

last so yeah but like yeah my brother and sister are both in their 30s i'm my age i'm my age none of us are in relationships at all why it's kind of funny because like all they're like you know i feel like sometimes i wonder if they're like secretly like damn i'd be ready for some grandkids oh yeah definitely dude my my my mom is like ready for him now and she the oldest one kara is uh kara is lesbian thank you but kara something kara is something where it would it would the child would probably come from adoption right now yeah so that's probably kicked down the road casey doesn't like men got it but is straight that was confusing okay yeah i was like okay two lesbians and then i'm 23 yeah so i'm probably not gonna have a kid anytime soon and i think my mom

is ready is your brother gonna have a kid soon well my brother's getting married in august so i'd give it like maybe two years after that my oldest sister was a shotgun wedding what's a shock on when when you it means you're already pregnant when they got married but they said they were gonna like they were already engaged yeah it just took it took like a year and a half for them to for her to get married you know she was pregnant for a year and a half kara was huge when she came out no kara was they got engaged a year after dating which seems crazy and then they didn't get married for like another year and so i think like my they my dad said like when when carol was born like they tried to get everyone to forget the math because if you did the math carol would

be like it was only like six months after they got married yeah yeah that is funny but not be able to drink at your own wedding that stinks yeah sometimes i think about that though like if i woke up like hung over for my own wedding i'd be so bummed i'm like what if you blacked don't remember your wedding yeah people say you're not supposed to like drink drink like you should have like a couple yeah yeah drinks but they were they oh that is like pretty common advice is like do not get hammered well don't join the part like don't join the party yeah yeah waking up hungover your first day married together would be hungover would be very sad yeah i don't i'm probably gonna get married this year i'm thinking about it i'm thinking about it for sure i think i'm gonna get

married this year nice joe wants to go on a double date this weekend i love that oh yeah he's back oh yeah boy okay because i saw his instagram story and i was like it's a weird thing to post about your ex what did he say he like posted a video of her and was like so proud oh like a maroon 5 music video or something yeah i asked you that's the last they're dating that was the last place i would want my girlfriend is that a maroon five shoot true get out of there um yeah they're together that's good he wants to double date he said he hadn't told his mom that he quit his job broke up with his girlfriend or got in a car accident until he was in the ambulance and so he had to call his mom because he had to tell her he quit

his job because he no longer has health insurance he had to tell her that he broke up with his girlfriend because he there was no like she wasn't going to be able to take care of him whatever and and then he had to tell her about the accident he said he hung up and the guy in the ambulance was like jesus man get you got to get it together wait so we had to pay out of pocket which is cheaper in california is that crazy you get a discount you get a discount there was a there were two different enrolled automatically in something no no no no there is a there are two different invoices so if you had insurance it would cost this amount and if you don't it was cheaper that okay but not like what you would pay out of pocket isn't cheaper but what they bill you

for before the insurance steps in that makes yeah i mean that's shitty but that is like why do you quit his job that is great uh i don't know i just don't think he i don't think he liked it i don't know but i would always like make sure i have another one lined up before i think he had he was very good about saving money i know but like my friend did the same thing she was promised another job whatever when she quit hers and then that person didn't like follow through when she's she had 30 000 in savings and she now has been out of a job could not has not found another one because of like the economy these days and it's been over a year and now she's like 15 000 in her savings and she's like fuck she spent fifteen thousand dollars in a year that's like impeccable

yeah sounds like she's got yeah sounds to me like sounds to me like she's got another she only spent fifteen thousand no i know she works like part-time at like other places got it got it got it pretty important detail yeah i was like wait that's insane where does she live it's like dude honestly don't get another job it sounds like you just need to you need to figure out work like three more years in your separate life if you could if you could only spend fifteen thousand dollars a year you'd just be on unemployment or like disability or something and yeah and she would be able she'd be fine for the rest of her life i worked when i worked at this pool you know i was a pool boy emily when i worked at the pool cleaning company all the guys were like dude cannot wait

until winter i was like why they're like we all go on unemployment and make more it's like that's awesome winter sounds sick winter here sounds fucking awesome that's the story but they were all they were all uh really good guys but a handful of them or at least the one i worked with was uh was on on perks parker sit which makes you makes it renders a lot of the rap rap songs you thought were cool a lot less cool yeah it was like oh that's what it's like it doesn't sound enjoyable at all percocet molly percocet all right let's roll should we road map it up yeah you're an hour in cool welcome to the fucking playdate pod oh so oh sorry sorry we we enjoy doing it emily no i'm so happy you guys enjoy doing it i've never heard of a podcast

that outlines what they're going to talk about in the rest of the episode in the middle of the episode yeah fucking yeah because we're fucking groundbreaking visionary like i would actually lose my mind if i was producing this podcast and you did that why i'd be like roadmap it up right in the beginning we can't predict what the first hour is going to be we're not predicting i would love to know what you're going to talk about we don't know what we're going to talk about it's the whole point of the first hour emily do you know if we upload a video that's under an episode that's under an hour and a half people comment what is this a youtube short yeah all right we have a beautiful episode today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches and then we

are gonna do everyone's favorite segment teach me something followed by this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey i said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard emily say it there's rocks in my yard sorry lauren usually says it and we all laugh all right and we're gonna put a video we're gonna have lauren check in from spain here real quick lauren tell us how you're doing my being your thing might be in it's rude to talk over lauren she's talking right now sorry lauren continue my being your thing might be in what you okay gross oh put it away put it away lauren guys unfortunately we had to take the video because lauren misses us a lot and she took out um she took out her her butt and uh tried to

fart through the camera oh hey all the way from spain smells like tapas um and then we're gonna do a one-man show over there we're gonna do lana del rey songs that don't exist and uh we will give credit to whoever it was i think this is one of my favorite ideas play the exhibited ideas of all time ways to say you're taken like ways to say you have a significant other i think we should frame it as ways to say you're spoken for ways to say you're spoken for uh and then we're gonna wrap up with rusty's song of the day we got if i had to guess 1700 of you guys now by the time this episode comes out wow i think in reality it's probably 1200 but at the clip we're going we'll

see um emily let's hear some motherfucking pitches boy do you have pitches for us i do have pitches right here you're the best this is a pitch submission from patrick sullivan hello lee harvey and all oswald oswald harvey uh emily who's that i guess i'm lee thank you god pitch submission what are the what is the worst part about having six to seven beers uh the worst part about having six to seven beers is you have like committed to drinking like it's not you are no you are no longer just having like a beer or two afterward you are now drunk and you have to either stop or keep going and for uh for people that have uh binge alcoholism which i think a lot of us do secretly or not secretly but a lot of us don't realize that's what it is drinking eight

beers is you were binge drinking which i do i do that quite often is it's hard to get yourself to stop unfortunately yeah six seven you've crossed the threshold yeah you can never tell if you've crossed the 0.08 boundary do you know what there's there is no part of there is absolutely no part of me after having seven beers that is like i could still i could maybe yeah that's crazy yeah do you play it safe and sleep on your buddy's couch or do you make the drive home you play it safe just for one for

legal reasons because I don't think we're allowed to say tell you to do that for whatever reason for all reasons if you have had seven beers there is which I think I think he is right like technically

you would be closer than you'd think like the legal limit is hammered is it by the way do we have that i told you that thing at the one of our favorite bars you could blow you pay a quarter point i've been 0.08 when i'm like i couldn't i couldn't have a conversation with like my mom like 0.8 0.8 is hammered all right finish what are you saying 0.08 0.08 is hammered i don't think that's right point uh unless i'm like uh unless i am a lightweight which i don't think is the case like 0.08 is drunk we should order a breathalyzer and use it down 0.08 0.08 is drunk for sure

uh do you play it safe and sleep on your buddy's couch or do you make the drive home that's why you need dry run a virtual reality app that lets you simulate your drive home plug in your start and end address and make the virtual drive do you make it home safely do you end up wrapped in wrapped around a tree jesus christ what who did you pick this emily no lauren did these questions will be answered and allow you to make an informed decision about whether or not you get behind the wheel in real life all right this i'm out i'm out but i like where i like where your head is at i like that you're you're at least being somewhat safe here's the main flaw with it you would probably get home unscathed and that would give a drunk person like okay i'm good like i got

license to drive yeah like if you did it in the app yeah and you would get if you got home safe even though yes we're obviously not condoning drinking and driving but like don't drink and drive definitely don't drink why are you saying we're obvious it sounds like you're about to say i'm saying like we are obviously i that is a disclaimer we are obviously not condoning drinking and driving but like more often than not you would not get in trouble or like get in a serious accident but it's like the the odds are so much higher yeah the the 33 the the third chance that you do like kill someone else or yourself or get a dui or something like is still way more possible yeah this sucks i'm not saying it sucks i like that i think it sucks

it's promoting people more people i just think more drunk drivers will drive if this app exists and it says that's what i'm saying is like you would you would probably get home safe in the app and that would make you think yes you're good to go and it says that there's a possible opportunity for full-on driving simulators in bars that i'm okay that i'm down with if if it's like a if it is like a uh okay he should have led with that that would be fun if it was like this is just a game this is to get all get all your drinking driving out of your system because like yeah most people will never drink and drive so you could try it which is good you maybe not in a bar i don't it's kind of like when you're out of kit when you're at uh when you're at like the fun

parents house and they're like if you're if they're gonna drink i'd rather them do it here if you're gonna drink and drive i'd rather you do it i'd rather you do it in the safety of this bar but okay here's the thing if you try this simulator you have to give your keys to the bar it's like you can't yeah yeah when you give your when you get darts from the bar and you have to give them your id yeah like you have to give you up your like i am i promise i will not drive tonight but that sounds fun i want to do that patrick i'm sorry will and i have to distance ourselves from it for legal reasons not for legal reasons i think that idea is horrible and moral reasons moral reasons it's a bad idea all reasons it's a bad idea the the simulator is a good idea

it feels like you like keeping like saying the right thing and i'm like but well i don't want him to feel bad because he put himself out there he get he came up with he came up with a fun pitch he just packaged it wrong it should have been it should have been out on it or what about this it's a way it's a way to trick drunk drivers into not drinking home drinking home it's a way to trick drunk people into not driving home so to start the simulator you have to put your keys in it and then it sucks your keys into a vault and you can't get them until tomorrow all right i'm down with that all right yeah that's a way to make you can still have all they can still do what about a guy who eats your keys yes have we okay patrick have you considered next pitch there's

a guy out there that could a key swallower by the way he's also from maine and he offered to send you a bait sweatshirt or about about boden boden sweatshirt instead of your bait sweatshirt owned you got owned i didn't fucking get fuck care okay next i want a boat most i've ever set up what man i'm trying it i'm at a right angle right now i'm acute um this person's name is luca foy hey captain hoagland okay i'm changing that hey captain binder and the neverland pirates long time fan of the pod and boy do i have a killer pitch today come on what's the best part of watching tv shows like the oc one tree hill and dawson dawson creek it's a great question i'm currently re-watching gossip girl so i can tell you what the best part is i've never seen it um

you get to you get to relive your get to relive your glory days a little bit in a non-creepy way so you're watching you're watching cool high schoolers yeah but it's not weird because you're not doing it publicly or because they're not real they're not real so it's not weird what okay the high school the high schoolers can be hot because they're played by 25 year olds what's the answer i've never seen any of these shows that's right featherstone and in your case that's wrong featherstone the music yes we were just watching the thanksgiving episode of Gossip Girl and it's fucking awesome.

When the roof came in and the roof came out I just didn't know what to do. But when the pines are too high and the leaves are too low I'd do anything to you.

That's not me, girl. What'd you say? What'd you say? Okay. My pitch is called The Needle Drop. Wait, can I just say one more thing?

Yeah. The One Tree Hill theme song is the greatest theme song of all time. I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately all i have to do is think of me and all the peace of mind it's gavin de graal yeah no i know but isn't that fray song in one of those shows that is uh

no uh what's the fucking show with the hospital gray's anatomy i don't know i don't know um also this person's from australia so oh my oh my buddy that was disrespectful oh i'm gonna give you an australian kiss later it's like a french kiss but down under i told you that yep it was this guy zach zach whipple or whittle or something there's a guy named zach something and they told me that all right sorry emily and then continue yeah um my pitch is called the needle drop it is an app that allows you to connect your spotify or your preferred streaming service to your tv to adopt all your playlists your favorite movies and tv shows imagine this heisenberg cooking up a storm how to save a life by the fray or oppenheimer creating the atomic

bomb to drop it like it's hot by the big dog i like this i like it it would make movie time with the gang even more entertaining as you guess what the next song as you guess what song could come next oh it's on like shuffle so like you don't even sometimes they don't work like into the is it just playing alongside it or is it like it's like when they swap uh that's great they swap an existing song with like one of your random songs so like sometimes it would line up and you'd be like oh that's awesome but then sometimes it like wouldn't line up and that'd be the humor you know that like emotional scene at the end of the finale of the office when creed like plays this song for everyone what if it like gets to that and everyone's getting emotional he's like

get away you're moving got me in a train dj put our hair come on my dad was listening to the uh my dad was listening to the mary up the mary shall be episode yeah and he called me he was like do you and will have to sing everything and i was like i was like all right all right no work but call me later and then he called me like two minutes later he was like this mary lady is a riot and i was like yeah i know she's all right i'm working talk to you later my dad just texted me he's like can i call you like i'm with your mom and i was like why what's going on she's he's like we need to talk about this story you told on the 100th episode about that guy like hitting on my mom at after the live show oh he's like he's like i gotta

fucking we gotta break this down because my mom will she does not listen to any of the episodes but then my dad picks the highlights to share nice oh my parents don't watch at all they see the clips yeah i don't want my mom listening i don't think she would i think she would think less of me um also have you seen dawson's creek russie i've seen a couple episodes some this guy says that you dress and act exactly like pacey witter pull him up oh yeah pacey later i dress like him i don't know that top left one is something i would wear that's cool dress and act like him what the top go back that top oh she had scrolled down a little bit wait on hit the x on that the top left when you said that was a vest and blue face paint come on man i'm always

wearing stuff like that oh my god wait listen to this listen to this willie you know that fucking it's oh god all right get rid of this guys this episode is brought to you by our good friends over at light strike light strike flips the script on what packaged alcohol is supposed to be combining coconut water sea salt and five percent abv for a shockingly smooth fizz free experience light strike is built for those who go hard but never tap out it's the only drink that makes refreshing actually mean something light strike currently has two flavors talking lemon lime and willie and i both got our orange mango and it comes in a resealable bottle look at this giving you the control of how hard you go

light strike hard refresher an excellent source of five percent abv this is a game changer i just want to say we were we were out on the golf course yes uh the other day had a couple light strikes in the bag yeah the that's like this is that's like a best possible use case for this because it's long day you're out in the sun you know what i mean also if a guy sees you stocking your bag full of light strikes true they're like wow that guy's gonna be really hydrated they're not thinking yeah that's booze that's true that's true guys light strike is the first hard beverage built for the long game featuring a crushable combination of coconut water sea salt and five percent abv this party pacer is shockingly smooth fizz free and this is big for my for my gluten-free queens

and kings and celiac brothers out there it's gluten-free damn right the fizz free element is big for me as you know i am a bit of a uh a burpist if you will yes uh i'm quite the burpist and these i could drink a number of these without even one burp i watched it i didn't burp once did i i think you had one but it was unrelated it had nothing to do with them visit drinklightstrike.com and check the store locator to see if there's light strike by you that's light strike l-i-g-h-t-s-t-r-i-k-e on instacart or drink light strike.com to find some by you today light strike the first hard beverage built for the long game let's get back into the episode so i've had this video that i did for a brand that was supposed to go up like two sundays ago

yeah it was two brands and one of them just like they haven't the agency has like not been able to get them to watch it yet but herb are for the listeners at home herb our ads guy just texted me he goes all right weird news and i'm like all right and then the first thing is the other brands i'm like okay they they rejected it it just goes they haven't approved it but they want to they want to do they want to sign on for a second one i'm like well that means the that means the first one's approved bizarre all right weird news uh they hate the first one they're still gonna pay you for it but they want to pay you to do another one hey that's good news i don't think they actually hate the person but it's like weird news is good news it's like you have them on the

you clearly have them on the phone just get them to be like it's probably like separate teams or something yeah all right what's the worst part what's the worst part about having a hat that's fits perfectly and it's your favorite hat it wears down over time it can't doesn't last forever can't wear it every day can't wear it every day because it's the same hat yeah but it's impossible to get one that fits just like it yeah like does it i'm introducing the slide hat okay it is your perfect hat yeah and then you can slide a different logo onto it yeah like you remember those in your old nike cleats you'd be used to be able to slide those cards in to make the swoosh whatever color team you were playing on yeah it's like that so i could like pull like my my playdate hat is my

favorite hat same because we willie and i got to pick the blank yep but i can't wear a hat with will and i's name on it every day because one mine's getting a little dirty but two it's like it doesn't go with every outfit sometimes i want to you know change it up you just pull it and there's like a million different shuffle logos under there i love that scott recently was like do you guys make any other hats with this blank i keep it's i'm wearing your name on my head every yeah yeah what do you say emily um can you make the hat change colors okay they try they tried in it i'm trouble because i'm i'm my original thought was like you can make whatever you want i want someone to actually be able to make this yeah you can make that for you can't like chameleon

color the hat maybe like maybe you could like because ours is two-tone it's white on the top and maybe you could like pull this whatever in the brim changes color okay never mind it's just the logo it's just i like that a lot though and like if you're going to a big a sporting event for a team that is losing you just pull it's the other team i was gonna say like a team you don't usually have you seen that guy whose hat he it's like made of robotics and it can either make an la like the dodgers logo or it'll make the yankees logo oh that's funny cool all right i got the uh self-adjusting lights you know how like your brightness adjusts based on like how dark it is around you it's like lights in your house that like you don't ever have to touch and it's just

based on the time of the day that's it knows how dim to have that not exist that's got to be perfect i don't know it sounds sick you know how i called you out and i was like samsung already made that or whatever i was technically right and you were technically right the product doesn't exist what i was thinking of is samsung which is kind of fucked up samsung filed a patent for the technology of if they're playing an ad and you look away it'll pause until you look back which is fucking dystopian people also call this out we definitely done that one before I had done yeah

no but then they said I had done that and then you had said Samsung and then I said no way and then we had googled it it's actually insane do you guys have to do that often maybe not do what are you nervous am I nervous am I scared am I nervous right now like we

constantly are being told that we've already told the story oh yeah all the time I mean it's impossible to remember it comes up again and then we're like oh we know that we've already told it or i normally remind but we're trying our best right jack it happens we're trying our hardest i'm sorry by jack i mean rusty all right who's ready for teach me something the year is 532 a d chariot racing all the rage everyone's doing it fucking all the rage yep everyone's obsessed with it uh did you ever hear about the time a chariot

racing match almost uh led to the downfall of constantinople crazy story so there were like two fan groups were you looking what i was reading off of it's just my notes my notes out oh okay um i did have a little help from the g from the g man but from the gt man from the gt man hit me uh so there were two like different fan groups think of it like you're at like a liverpool versus man city game yeah whatever like they have like they're like rabid fans whatever uh the blues and the greens okay they hadn't totally figured out names yeah like the bears or anything uh they start fighting there's a small disagreement it like escalates very quickly and it turns into like a full-fledged riot throughout the city the city's like fucking

on fire half the city burned down um and justin justinian the emperor justinian one the emperor uh was about to flee the city but his wife gave him this like you listening am i yes giving this gave him this crazy speech um about like how noble it would be for like royalty to die uh and so he stayed and him staying helped like he was there so he was able to crush the rebellion but if he had fled constantinople would probably have like what about istanbul well i think that's i think that that i think constantinople is like modern day yeah i was joking yeah you know that song istanbul not constantinople now it's istanbul not constantinople major throwback yeah what is that the young the giant no not what is that uh rich the kid

it's rich the kid no it's like something the something giant the giant the people people the giant no the song oh they might be giants that's what it is the four lads oh maybe it was a cover all right teach me something willie james michael grimes have you heard of this guy no james michael grimes was a uh guy okay why did you google it just pictures okay he's a guy on a cruise ship and he ended up in the ocean for 18 hours treading water and was rescued and when he was asked to recount the story he said i won an air guitar contest on the ship went to use the bathroom and don't remember anything else

and came to in the middle of the ocean with the cruise ship not in sight. Treaded water for 18 hours and was rescued. Holy. Okay, so what do they think happened? There's no way. They think he fell somehow off the side. Was he hammered?

I mean, I don't. That's what I couldn't tell. Yeah. Like the way, because he would have died if he was hammered. Yeah. There's no way he would have come to in the ocean like treaded water.

Can I give you a theory? I think he, when he fell somehow, hit his head, went unconscious. Someone threw him overboard? There's no way he treaded for that long. He did. Look at, click at the, go to like an article. He's, oh, he'd had drinks but wasn't intoxicated. Interesting.

All he could see was a fin. Oh. That's crazy. He won, he won the Eric guitar contest, though. I mean, dude, obviously we're glad he, we're glad he survived, but like god forbid if he died what a cool way to go out but like here's my theory willie yeah he wins this air guitar competition probably similar to that yeah he goes to the bathroom his competitor fucking hits him with some like roofie right overboard it was like can't win maybe it was

like a band dispute between the air bassist and the air drummer right right no no it couldn't be all right should we do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey all right lauren or emily i'm gonna uh airdrop this to you and you should pause it immediately and i mean immediately all right willie this is a guy in his car brian it's it says pov this drake song makes us white boys almost slip out slip out the word we can't say okay great you're gonna get copyright strike for this it's fine did you see him did you see him wait pause it pause it pause it pause it he almost said it and he flinched like someone was gonna hit him

you're right here hey man all the all the comments were like nah dude i like wait go to the comments it's okay bro just throw the camera up bro don't don't blame you this shit fire his face when he said it oh he did say it he didn't say it funny as he doesn't he doesn't know all the words but he knows where that one is yeah that's what they were like those the only lyrics he knows that's awesome i feel him though i feel him sometimes it's just like it's a good song and it's like it's it is it you can't rap along because it's it's that word is said so many times and i'm just like they should come out you know there's like a clean

version they should come out with like a white boy version yeah i can rap along to i like i like that idea because it's like it's gonna mess up the flow yeah obviously can't say it so yeah yeah maybe like a white white boy version white boy version yeah all right just play it how you feeling jeff oh yeah groovy you feeling good oh yeah you drunk kind of but not quite okay all right man uh i don't know who this guy is i'm gonna go out on a limb i think he's drunk i'm gonna say he's a little drunk that is that is like when you are a freshman in high school and the older kids are like driving you home yeah and they're like you're like trying to trying to fit in like you feeling

it you're like nah a little bit maybe a little bit not really he's in another fucking universe remember in high school one time getting somebody to take me to buy a vape and i bought it and i hit it and i just immediately threw up everywhere like outside the gas station he's like will's the coolest yeah um that's really funny all right all right should we do lana del rey songs or ways to say you're spoken for lana del rey or no ways to say you're spoken for all right these are ways to say you're spoken for my sword already has its sheath it's kind of gross i didn't mean it that way but it does it does sound that way i'm sorry uh this car has been driven off the lot i like that a lot um this farmer only milks one cow

i'm under contract my band's full bitch i'm playing doubles these days nice yours are better than mine i don't think so take one step closer and i'll kill us both there's no room at the end oh little bible reference um emily it's kind of like it's new testament so i don't want to freak you out i thought you were saying like there's no room at the inn like a hot like a hotel like yeah well that's what happened with that's why mary had to have jesus in a stable yeah allegedly interesting he was one of you at one point still is a human yes yes all right i already have a co-pilot i'm being watched these are lana del rey songs that don't exist i don't really listen to lana del rey i did see

her last weekend though she's great uh i only know video games for context okay uh you're like i don't know kung fu fighter through four trailing the darkness it's something it's about the light that comes trailing the darkness i don't know what are yours i don't know what this draft is i gave you one willie what are you gonna say it after you can say it i'll say mine i call him father and so do you it's about dating the local priest okay bluer water born in the depression uh it's about her being very sad and simultaneously dating a 95 year old man cold eyes uh talking faster than his car it's about a guy who has a very fast car but also is into cocaine i like that waiting for matthew

um can't smell my perfume it's about you know getting ready after a big night out uh doing cocaine again and uh how you can't smell she can't smell if she's put on enough perfume or she do a lot of cocaine the guys she sings about yeah uh december in the city okay um what was that hello hello i think that was mike hot dog all right i got i got motel rich oh yes it's about how even though she's making a lot of money she still likes to spend time at local motels that's fun yeah i'm sorry that i suck no i kind of think i think that'll actually clip funny it's like one guy just like i don't know man um i feel like we flew through the segments today we did fly through the segment we i have one oh yes wintertime happiness

you kind of mailed that one in emily no i didn't uh all right we're gonna finish with rusty's song of the day go follow it on spotify i think a couple playmates have made their own on apple music that you can go follow 3 000 listens 3 000 saves uh today's song is menthol by gene dawson oh yeah uh i like it a lot it's it's it sounds the first time you listen it sounds very one way but it's actually another way and i think you're gonna love it everyone i've showed two loves it i love that song yeah you showed it to me it's fantastic um i'm trying to i'm trying to mix up the vibes because it is completely dependent on my mood yeah which song i add and if i added the one i wanted to today it would have been the it would have been going way too

down and so i'm trying to like keep people on their toes yeah yeah all right we love you guys have a great rest of your monday have a great tuesday and we will see you bright and early on wednesday for another beautiful episode of playdate uh andrew play that motherfucking theme music boy