Will & Rusty's Playdate - stalkers crashed my party

Episode Date: May 11, 2026

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oh we were saying we were saying you're gonna hate when you find out about the time just like the concept what do you mean like we're like like you're you're you're not you're not good with time and so we were saying maybe you wake up and depending on where the sun is in the sky you just assume it's time to podcast and then we just happen to be here i feel so disrespected right now i will say i have a great concept of time i just don't respect y'all's time it also the second time when we were joking around about it it sounded a lot more lighthearted and then for the second time around it sounded i think it's because i just stonewalled you play date play date episode 208 yep our housing crisis episode joe burrow

i think he's nine yeah i know he's nine lamar jackson is eight though that's just not him wait who is that the braxton barriers no it's a close to braxton who is that sean clifford oh sean clifford who is that zoom track oh uh cliff dog i got a new favorite guy maybe at least of the week maybe it's not sean clifford yeah no it's not sean okay uh i go to this vape shop called smoke world that's awesome oh i gotta undo this and uh and there's this kid that works there who's like our age maybe two years younger maybe two years older but yeah but like cool guy just good vibe exactly what you want oh my lordy

wait i'm sorry that happened where did you get that the fridge oh well wait was there an answer that was like that would have explained it so i had a yellow one on my desk for a really long time and we were keeping all of those in the producer room yeah and i was like i don't need this anymore i'm just gonna shake it up and i'm gonna put it in the producer room like in the back of all the cans and i was like somebody somebody will get one and i think that might have been the one that's so fucked wait does a shake-up last that long it's like where were you keeping it the blend or where'd you find that the blender put in the dryer what wait yeah i don't know how long a shake-up even last i always yeah it was a couple weeks ago i didn't think it would last that long

that would be actually unbelievable if it lasted that long i'm sorry that happened to you yeah sorry i mean to fuck your story no that's okay so there's a hot guy that works he's not hot he's not ugly either but that's not the point of the story he is like he's kind of like an npc guy like i have very obviously i have very like yeah minimal interaction with him but he kind of has like five lines yep another day another dollar which is such a great way to start the day if you go in the morning and a guy in a vape shop tells you another day another dollar what are you saying Like, how's it going, man? Yeah, you know, man, another day, another dollar.

Like, I do know. I do know that. So, and he has a couple other ones, but he's awesome. He's like the Webkinz store clerk. Do you know what I'm talking about, Andrew? Yeah. Where he has like five pre-recorded lines that can answer any question you'd have for a guy you're buying something from. He has them.

The guy with the jacket. The guy with the jacket, exactly. and he added a new one which is maybe my favorite of all time i go in i was frustrated about i was frustrated about something and he was like what do you got going the rest of the day and i explained i was like um you know i'm frustrated about this one thing like i gotta talk to this person about it what is it it was like a merch thing that ended up being i was just like it was the same you know how we used to say the text was too high yeah i got a new i wish this was pants shirt and for a second it looked too high but i think it just was like i was used to one that i had washed a bunch

got it whatever and i was like yeah you know i'm pretty upset about it like i'm gonna go figure it out he goes when in doubt crash out i was like horrible advice but i like where your head's i kind of like that too yeah you know what i mean like there's no there's almost no scenario where i would take that advice but i appreciate it coming from well yeah i think it's like a it's encouraging you to like you don't have to be someone for other people like if you're feeling bad yeah let it hang go crazy i do explain shake it loose shake it loose i had to explain to my mom what crashing shake it till it's loose shake it till it's loose you know my dad always says when did you talk to your mom already this morning this was sorry this was yesterday

got it see that's why i was so fucking confused i was like what the fuck he went to a store and called his mom already today how much time does this guy have what does he wake up at one in the morning went to a store and called his mom okay okay pal for those those things for you take years i actually was okay anyway you can keep going i actually got up at six in the morning today i was surprised i was shocked i had to take lauren to the airport where's she going the airport sorry sorry that was like in our video one star bars video willie and i were walking into a bar and i said like what are you drinking so i could like get it for him he goes nothing but i'm about to order nothing right now but i'm about to order where's she going after the airport she's going to

ohio i'm meeting her there tomorrow i'm flying to ohio tonight for the big graduation for yeah go for the big graduate flyers go flyers go flyers baby i think i'm i'm going to my plan is on saturday i think it's like a big like party party day and i think i'm gonna do like a bunch of keg stands and black out and embarrass myself in front of her family everything but the blackout i think is a good call i think i think i'm not gonna i will not be doing a keg stand i thought you were gonna say that you're gonna go in like a k-hole i'm gonna go into a k-hole in front of family let's think this family i'm gonna get a bag and offer it to her dad like repeatedly over the course of the day come on man i tested it it's it's clean um well let's think about this

if you were a dad and your daughter is dating this guy and you love him but you think he might be a little tame you're like you know he hasn't let loose around me if he did like a keg stand just to show me he's still got it i just want to i would rather have him have that skill and not use it frequently what if my charlie browns fall out while i'm upside down though are you gonna be wearing shorts probably not uh then yeah i don't think you need to worry about that or we'll be wearing pants either okay got it poo bearing you're doing a keg stand while poo bearing poo bear it's t-shirt no pants so like if i'm like getting ready you know like sometimes a girl at like a party will have a dress or not a party but like girls be wearing shirts longer than their

shorts right yeah yeah yeah i uh i get flan taught me that term poo bearing poo bearing because i will sometimes i'll be like i'll get out of the shower and i grab a t-shirt before i grab my boxers and it's a very feminine look and also my t-shirts are a little longer than maybe the layman's and so it looks odd like you can't see my private parts but it looks yeah shocking you yeah maybe you can see my now that i'm thinking about it well it depends how low i am or the person is like dwarves can see up there can i tell you something sorry sorry i hope i'm not interrupting i meant to bring this up last episode but something crazy happened on saturday at my viral barbecue dude i'm so i you did text me i went back and looked i'm bummed i know well

don't rub it in i feel bad i forgot to text andrew but he you were making millions of dollars i was making millions it's okay um two guys there's there's you know like lucas brought some friends that i didn't know and like a few people like there were some people that i didn't know or like i was meeting for the first time for the most part came up i'm like hi like thanks for having me blah blah it wasn't you know there were probably 50 people there total maybe maybe tops pretty big party maybe not 50 people then i've been at your house when there have been 50 people so it's not unreasonable 30 40 whatever party you were at apple bobbing at there were 50 people yeah yeah so it may be a little small that's 40 people i don't know whatever to these two i'm overhearing

lucas's friend yaz is talking to who i know is talking to these two guys that look like frat boys in like white t-shirts and jeans and i hear him say like so do you work at friday beers and the guy's like yeah he's like what are you doing he's like i'm a comedian he's like slurring his words like hammered and but not like fully like you know he's kind of still pulling together but you can tell he's drunk and he's like yeah i'm a comedian there i was like what the fuck and i kind of like gave a look and then i like went up to the guys like hey what's up or no i was just like somehow i like went up to them and they were talking about something and i was like oh where you guys from and they're like uh from northern california like san francisco area and it seemed

like fine i guess i don't know and then i just kind of left them alone because i was like i guess they're one of like lucas's friends or something and like maybe i must have misheard that conversation or they just lied for no reason whatever i don't really care then i wait you you wouldn't care if there was a guy at your party saying he works at the company you work i mean it was just a low stakes interaction i was like maybe he's like they're doing like a prank on that guy or i don't know like i was just like giving him the benefit of the doubt i didn't really suspect anything then i come to find i later i'm like talking so i was like do you know who those guys were i heard one of them saying he worked at friday beers was a comedian and and whoever i was talking to goes

oh he told me he went to bc with you and i was like what so i stopped and i went and they were they left i was like does anyone at this party know who those two guys in white t-shirts were and everyone is dead silent and i was like i got party crashed and that so then i texted will so got but guys about you got party crashed by guys that know enough about you he told me i was like you bet on the derbies again but on chief wallaby that's the horse i had bet on which that one might have i'm trucking that one up to coincidence but this i don't know because yeah i don't know what happened but then i someone said that they'd been talking to angus so i texted angus and i was like he had left and i was like yo those guys you were talking to like i think

they were party crashers and he was like yeah they said they went to bc and i had a bunch of friends from bc staying with me this weekend which angus knew and angus i guess asked him like oh are you staying here on the couch and they were like nah we're staying next door which is like not a place anyone's options that's just i have families on either side of me so long story short two men snuck into my party and told everyone when asked about themselves just things about my life and so i don't know it was one of two options which is these two guys wandered off the street and were really perceptive yeah they're like geniuses there's actually three options one got wandered off the street immediately picked up on all the details and then piece it together

two they're full-blown stalkers three wandered in off the street and then went holy shit i like the third yeah because they went up to and he said they were like being nightmares they're like oh what are you fucking fringe guy or something like they were like being they were like not fun yeah they were like but also drunk into like frat guy douchebags were they all age yeah maybe they looked maybe younger got it like they could have been in they could have been in college yeah oh my god but angus said angus said he was gonna come over to me and tell me that my friends blow uh so i'm glad i texted him to confirm that they were not my friends yeah that is the interaction i had was like pretty tame but the idea that they were walking around my party

pretending like they knew me yeah i have that fear about uh have you ever gotten d i feel like i maybe have more doppelgangers than you do but i'll get dms of guys that look like enough yeah yeah like me and it will be girls saying like this guy is going like came up to us and was saying he was you and we like believed it for a second and like that's he was super weird and so like i get worried that there are guys there's a guy out there that's like perfectly looks like me and has figured out or like enough people have asked him if he's me that he does it at the bars because people have dm'd me saying it's happened you think he's gay enough people he's not representing him yeah what if he's like donating much to charity on the flip side if he if there if there are any

doppelgangers out there that of me and you're behaving yourself and you're like doing cool stuff keep doing it i'm down with that because that means like i'm in more places i got my arms everywhere yeah but if you're being creepy there was also someone sent me a screenshot someone copied my exact profile like bio profile picture username was like one letter off on instagram and was on tiktok i think it was dming girls like very crass things that is bizarre that's thank god i'm one of one i'm sorry to deal with that now that i remember the mustache because usually it's just a guy with thick hair and a mustache i think it's stetson bennett yeah exactly but without the mustache i feel like i'm pretty hard to replicate stetson bennett i don't see the

that's a better he loves drinking he does does he oh yeah that was like his thing you like couldn't couldn't stay out of trouble too much i think yeah i like to think that that account was just your excuse to dm crass things and this is your cover no you haven't even made the account yet you're like setting up get ahead of it yeah no like you know that bots do that all the time like i've had plenty of big accounts that i follow like dm you dm me with like one letter off of a username what do they say they're usually like sign up for my course here got it and there's like some if anyone was signing up for a the rusty featherstone course i have little to nothing figured out in life if i if you bought a course from me you did it to yourself so you'll so i can

so i can't get a refund i bought the rusty featherstone course teach you yeah just all your emotes these are fun noises you can make cool handshakes druthers would be it in it yeah here's how to have your druthers yeah a lot of people say if i had my druthers this is actually how to have them find your druthers do you remember that phase like a couple years ago when uh bots would like replicate girls instagram accounts that you knew and say they had an only fans yeah and then they would like be like here's my only fans like and they would follow you and they dm you the link or whatever a lot of money in that face that was not good for me i call that the great depression that was my you know they're not that was 2008 tank the economy you know they're

not real but i just can't risk it i can't risk them purchasing powers at an all-time low nationwide purchasing power i think somebody made a sketch that was like are you not hot enough for a bot to want to replicate your account you have an only fans and they were like like join our company and we'll like make an account for you so it seems like you're hot enough for them to want to try to sell an only fans i will say whatever software they were using like every baddie that i went to school with god had it happened really i don't remember this it was like it was they also did a good job of identifying people that like like it wouldn't be yeah crazy to think they would do it i don't want to obviously promiscuous girl wherever you are here's here's the thing wait

can i do one only fans thing yeah yeah i know i knew someone i'm gonna keep this very vague i knew i knew slash know someone that had a grand plan to start an only fans and like they i think they had done the like risk to reward analysis and we're like you know everyone's making like millions of dollars off this like i'll just do it for like a year yeah make all my money and and stop and uh and they made one and immediately the first thing we all subscribed just to check it out because it was like when else are you going to have the opportunity to like want to like see what this friend is like and they're probably okay with it yeah it was like it's a fair trade like we paid them for it whatever because we were like we have to see

with their poster the first you know they say like you're supposed to kind of build up maybe like some underwear photos tease it a little bit have everyone sign up and then like maybe put the more raunchy stuff behind a paywall or like you know build your way up there the first video that they posted was um them fully putting a dildo up their ass dude you have to you have to build to be a better businessman oh my god we did not think this through like that's if anyone was subscribing they've already gotten what they need like that's the highest it wasn't even like a sex tape yeah

or anything it was like literally they went they did the nuclear option within 45 seconds of opening it out everyone was like oh my god that's like starting basketball practice with like a windmill dunk it's like let's try a left-hand layup first oh my god we're gonna bounce past windmill dunk and they probably could have made a good amount they stopped after like a week too so it was like you went all our money in a week probably made like 45 bucks from showing your butthole and then just dipped i mean i listen i've showed my butthole for significantly less so i'm not really one to pass judgment but i hear you for sure i had an old co-worker that used to do it okay and it i looked at it how much was it i actually didn't pay for it you just looked

it was on they had like a twitter she had like a twitter that would like tease something i never took the next step do you think it was all it was mostly foot stuff got it i mean it was like naked and there was like crazy but there's like feet in it yeah you're like i just want i want everything but yeah it was weird it was but she was like proud like she like talked about it like she was like wanted people to go look at it i was like all right was she sexy i'll indulge um maybe not my type but my you still had the curiosity i mean it was just free on twitter i was like all right i will go oh my god but i didn't really like it i didn't really like it i didn't feel right i mean even though it was an encouraged thing i was just like i don't want to

go to work and like know that i've seen that do you think she could tell the day after just puked the moment she walked in she tell you directly like go check it out yeah i mean like she was just like a very like open like yeah person about and like when we worked together we would be chatting and she just like mentioned that that was like something she did and like said what her uh she came to a party at my house once we had a uh party house we had a house where we'd have parties and we had a poster no we had a flag we had a flag of rango yep and that everyone would sign when they came to a party at her house and i still have it and i did one side for my junior year one side my senior year so it's kind of a

fun little time capsule of all the signatures of everyone who came to the parties at her house um but she at one point i was like invited some of my co-workers over because i worked in a restaurant nearby and she came over she wrote her at on the flag and it is the most vile like it has like a word that like i'm not leap it and you can tell me yeah but you promise you'll believe it and so i have this like is the hair up here stop yeah uh yes but no clues no clues good god but i have this beautiful this flag that is like this beautiful like memento of like all my friends and from college and shit and then that is on it and i'm just every time i see it it throws me for a loop also like i remember like showing to my parents once like isn't this cool i have all

and then i was like actually who is that yeah i had a co-worker as well that did it she was a trans woman and she said there is a probably still is she she probably is still a trans woman and uh and she said that there was like a big market for that obviously and she i remember telling she was telling me that uh she was top 0.1 percent on only fans and this was like early like maybe it was before people were making like tens of millions of dollars yeah but i still remember being like why are you why are you working at the same place we're we're both working at like a restaurant like pretty hard like they worked like yeah you know most days might have been inflating her success yeah probably she was top 0.01 i don't

like she'd be working there i uh i had a co-worker who got fired about like two weeks into me working there because they found out she was just doing nothing all day in her office she was on the sales team and we hadn't had sales in like months and they were like what are you doing all day and um she had like just no work like any like nothing on her search history computer anything that she had ever done she's like the year like it took them like a year to realize history she didn't even like do a game or anything no there was just like nothing work related like we have no idea she's probably on her phone the whole time sales is a funny one to do that too because like if you're like administrative or whatever like you could maybe you could or like you could do stuff

without people noticing for like a while sales is like you either sold the product or you didn't sell the product so like even if you're not doing it they're gonna assume you're just terrible i'm i'm first protein soda i got a crap so i'm sorry i like almost can't get all right this episode is brought to you by lucy lucy is the official pouch partner of almost friday premium 100 tobacco-free nicotine pouches made for made for true pouch connoisseurs Lucy Pouches and Lucy Breakers deliver long-lasting flavor for a seriously satisfying pouch experience. As you may know, my favorite flavor is the mint in the 8-milligram breaker. I use them for focus, for energy, to relax.

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like is that like a reference like something i've oh it's like a tv show or like a movie plot i had or something like maybe maybe i don't know maybe he just wanted you to stay up to date on the news that's a good point yeah yeah did you do you know what's happening there's like people are they stuck on the boat still i believe so and and there's an outbreak of hantavirus there's an outbreak of hantavirus which would not be good oh oh it's because excuse me it's because hantavirus was the thing all the girls were worried about in the last office yeah literally when this we were talking about this last night and lauren goes see i was right to be scared about it okay we there were like a few rat or few rats spotted the office and none of the

not because they're women but they sort of united together and didn't come into work for a month honestly looking back on that they were on the right side of history i think i don't think that vindicate that's like that's like it's like not going to new york because yeah or like what what how did uh how did covet start bats yeah that would be like not going to a cave yeah if your job was in a cave but the thing was the the rats ate all of lucas's adderall and they they pooped in like perfect lines no but they like they pooped like all over our office so there was like pooping like every crack and crevice of that room do you remember that i think that's exaggerated i remember seeing it there was one everywhere in our office listen i never saw it i

saw one i would rather you guys just keep your heads down and pump out these episodes if i'm be honest agree no i maybe you're right i don't know maybe i was on the wrong side i i would have done the same thing as the girls but i literally had to record every single day so i had to be in the office every single day can you pull up the guy who was crying about hantavirus on uh on the ship someone is saying this is like the train dilemma where we either like let these guys die to save all of us i am currently on board the mv hondias and what's happening right now is very real for all of us here we're not just a story we're not just headlines we're people people with families with lives with people waiting for us at home there's a lot of uncertainty and that's

the hardest part all we want right now is to feel safe to have clarity and to get home so if you're seeing coverage about this just remember that there are real people behind it and that this isn't something happening somewhere far away it's happening to us right now that was you after uh Where is this? The third day on the Margaritaville cruise. Yeah. I believe that it was a cruise going around Africa or something. So it was pretty far away.

But now I think they're, I don't know. This is not a big boat by any means. No, it is not. I was expecting like a carnival cruise ship. This is like intimate. I have something. Yeah. Well, you go.

I just, I can't do another pandemic. I'm sorry. What are you going to do if it happens? I mean, it would be huge for our careers. I was going to say, didn't your career happen because of the pandemic? I feel like podcasts would be like... The thing? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I'd go back to Florida. Florida, it never even happened in Florida. Yeah, same with Texas, too. The gyms opened up a month after. It was... I left and I went back to Maine. And Maine was like locked, locked, locked down.

for good reason florida i had heard that like our two favorite bars never even closed not one day really is that unbelievable yeah i was gonna say that um we had our the we did the viral show the other night yeah how was it it was great andrew was there yeah it was incredible yeah yeah you guys cried thank you i have a lot of questions cool because i was gonna say that i met a lot of people outside that were big fans of both of you guys so i wanted to pass along there met a lot of playmates um how do you guys do all those like outfit changes i mean i'm glad that yeah i mean we're always where they feel like they take too long but we just go back there and change and change where in the green room or in that little

hallway you change in the green room the green room there is kind of fucked yeah it's like you have to go outside and then down to a different building almost but uh for the quicker changes we'd put stuff in that little just at the bottom of the staircase okay we're like that so when you had to do a big outfit change you would go out of the building around yeah i probably went back and forth between the green room and this stage like six times wow and then would you go in private room in the green room no you just kind of do it i mean elise usually will go into a bathroom or something because that was the only thing i was a woman um but the rest was just kind of just did out in the open i mean you're never taking your underwear off that's true one scene that requires

like crotchless pants yeah yeah just kind of do it quickly i mean my the way that this show order was i was kind of like not in the first few sketches and then i was just all my big sketches like back to back to back to back to back but i kind of just simplify the wardrobe to like i would have like a black t-shirt on for the bridge for one and then i would just put a jacket over it for the prayer okay and then it would go from like looking casual to like looking dressy you know i mean you kind of do like find little ways to make it a little which sketches were yours uh the only one i wrote was the one where i was praying okay the caterpillars no spoilers no spoilers that was the the this was the debut of that which i think went really well yeah that was

really really good thank you how many people were there like 400 people holy yeah do you got andrew i heard you got a table we did yeah yeah we like yeah we um we didn't know what to put on the sign when the bottle girls came by today no they didn't during the show during the show you guys are like just keep ordering that actually would be a good bit for the live show just like keep ordering bottle service oh my god there was a guy dressed like waldo in the front row that's awesome because i had wanted to do that bit i thought you guys were actually going to do that sketch when i saw him i was like oh they're actually doing it and then and i was like you know it'd be even funnier if he just came like that and sure enough he just came remind me what

the initial it was gonna be a bit where like you could hear mike's backstage and angus was like i think i saw my dad out there and it's like i just want to go out and look and then we like go out to do something and like we're clearly all kind of looking and i'm like is that him he's like no but that's insane but okay someone keep like the idea that you're looking for someone else but you find waldo along the way and you're like fuck any other time i would be stoked but put a pin in that that's awesome um the sound like the the sound cues were like really on time do you have someone back there yeah we haven't we hired a guy okay did the irvine show last thursday and then this one as well and you just have like snippets that you just click and play on yeah right away

he builds it out and like some sort of software that is like for that i don't know that was incredible because as as a fellow thespian those are like the hardest things yeah back in the day in like eighth grade nice i can see that but those were the hardest things to time i think were those like vocal cues and stuff like that but maybe it's because it was all eighth graders in the sound i will say yeah it's probably harder with eighth graders yeah like most things our Hormones were going crazy. Do you know how to make a hormone? No.

You don't pair. That is much tamer than I thought. I thought it was going to be like, fuck her ass. but anyway thank you to everyone who came to the show i had a great time uh the green room was so packed after i just booked it out of there everyone kept talking about the smell what was the deal with the smell it stunk in the green room on accident of what sewage oh why i mean you probably wouldn't have smelled it because there were like a million people in there um well i went in before the show when it was just like oh yeah

you don't have long covid anyway and i have long covid so i couldn't smell anything well it did make me worry because i was like you're cured but like your taste and smell i i legitimately my smell has not been the same since i since covid really and i never even had what what do you mean it hasn't been the same like you can still smell things right i can still smell things but like i'll be in a like even that everyone's like oh god this is putrid i was like it didn't really bother me but like are people like oh wow that candle smells amazing and i'll have to like put my nose like right up to it and i swear i did not have that before it's probably all coke right but i never got yeah probably below but i never got covid that i know of but i probably got covid and

just was like not showing symptoms i was the first guy in florida you they think they say who's they my parents because i had a disease that's not the right word i had an illness that yeah was like horrible horrible horrible and i they came and i went and got tested at urgent care they couldn't figure out what it was and then like a month later kovat happened i was like i remember the first ever reported case was in college station when i was in college it was like i think early march maybe late february and they were like yeah this guy went to wuhan for spring break and then like came back with the wuhan for spring break yeah it was like visiting family or something is he chinese and uh didn't quarantine or anything uh i think so they they never like released like any

info about him obviously it was like anonymous but they were like hey just so you know this guy went to wuhan for like a week and was at all the markets what wuhan was before yeah because it was like that's where the outbreak started and that's where like like covid was hitting china i think pretty hard no i mean like like i had never heard of the city wuhan until oh yeah no i'd never heard either um oh so people already knew what it was because of covid yeah it like broke out in like december in china and got it um i guess he still decided to go in february even though it was like terrible so he might wait that was the first case in the u.s it ended up being like a false positive i think the real first case ended up being seattle but they were like he's feeling ill he was just in

wuhan a week ago so he could have easily had it i feel like you should have to go to jail if you if you knowingly go to a place like that and then come back and get other people sick well he didn't quarantine he should have probably quarantined for like you can go to jail for giving someone an std what are you mouthing to me what are you mouthing to me what are you mouthing to me you can go to jail for giving someone an std like knowingly lock me up and throw away the if i have something and i know i have it and i give it to you without telling you it's a crime really i think so right i believe so that might just be like aids though what about breaking and entering is that a crime that is not a crime it's what you do after a lot of people think the

breaking and entering things yes you can go to jail for knowingly or intentionally transmitting a sexually transmitted disease to another person in many jurisdictions including california where it's often treated as a misdemeanor punishable up to six months in jail you're right no i know i just didn't realize it was also in california that was safe that's why you moved here moved here to get i was giving people running from the law and pronounce um should we road map it up yeah i think that could actually be really fun we gotta shoot all right we got a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear a pitch from you two pitches from us we're gonna do this guy rocks followed by teach me something and then we're

gonna do medieval torture methods that don't exist followed by tv shows that don't exist ready yes i'm ready hello bingo banjo and bongo banjo bongo and uh for the record it's bingo it's bingo bingo bingo bongo bingo bingo bongo banjo i'll still be banjo okay i'll be bingo i guess uh andrew you have to choose a name this time i'm serious okay i'll be hello uh my name is meredith and i am graduating from the harvard of the south in december so you know this pitch will be worth its weight in salt oh ucf girl anywho what is the worst part about she goes to rollins i'm assuming tar stand up we gotta stick together out here tars you guys are the tars the tars like tar heels or no the tars uh were it is a sailor a type of sailor pull up tars

pull up what is a tar a tar sailor sorry a british sailor particularly in the 18th 19th century merchant or royal navy derived from their practice of coating clothes hair and rigging with tar tommy tar looks pretty come on baby us taras gotta stick together out there nice i'm sorry it's a british sailor the british part i didn't know i always thought they were spanish you know espanol yes and i'm sorry i just speak it it comes out of me all right come on it comes out of me i want to go to the world cup all right go you can talk about that way what's the worst part about credit about credit credit yeah oh man uh for me right now i didn't totally think through a decision i made and now i need to

figure out if closing i have two credit cards now and closing a credit card hurts your credit so i would say there are a bunch of things that can hurt it and a very few that can help it yeah it's good with me the cards i would say obviously that it's only dependent on finances when that's not always all telling introducing credit karma we'll worry about copyright later okay got a credit card company that builds your credit based on good deeds and selfless acts of yes pick up litter at the beach hello new car no down payment complimented someone's personality mortgage approved buddy and i'm sure you're wondering how will they know starting out it would require video of you throwing away trash in a bin or video proof of you saying the compliment

but the kinks can always be worked out later say goodbye to meanie millionaires and hello to a better and brighter future thanks pals p.s if you were ever able to speak at graduation make sure you choose fall 2026 no joke i wanted to drop out but i knew since rustered could do it so can i kk bad guys so yeah she is a tar wow how do you know it's a girl she said her name was meredith got it could be a guy named meredith it's 2027 so i like this i'm more for the fact that yeah it would keep like rich guys in line you know what i mean yeah you still you could have all the money in the world but if you're a cocksucker you can't you can't get a house my question is like if you're just maybe just you're doing the good deeds like who's submitting

videos are doing the bad you do that i think it's got to be like uh it's got to be like an apple watch thing like it connects to your brain connects your brain yeah maybe we enter some sort of i do like the name credit karma that's very catchy i do too i think someone should use that yeah i'm in well thank you meredith 25 bucks thank you thank you actually even better i'll give you i'll put throw trash out all right i gotta kind of i got a somewhat similar one in a very different way so similar what is the worst part about mean people on the internet man they'd be talking so much shit they'd be talking shit they'd be talking shit people talk so much shit about me in barbershops they forget to get their hair cut the hell is that is it a little

wayne song no is it like the glory it's a kanye west song what song is it everything i'm not everything or everything i am people talk so much shit about me and barbershops they forget to get their hair cut yeah we giving up yeah we giving that no more gun talk i don't wear enough one second enough baggy clothes rebox to addy nose and do did i mention that he do freak out at his shows say goodbye to the n double a cp award goodbye to the india aria war goodbye to the please award i'll just take the i got a lot of cheese award i got a lot of cheese all right he brought it home i knew i had to get to that line i forgot how much it is in between the worst part is they talk a lot of shit i am proposing that instagram tiktok youtube any of those sites it will notify your

friends and family if you comment something mean it will tell them what you said because a lot of people will comment i'll see these horrible things that they're saying about people who are just living their lives and they they're getting i like that and they would never say it to this person's face because they're probably a normal guy in person when you comment something hateful it notifies like your girlfriend your mom your grandmother every nice comments are still you can still comment like like sexy stuff like it doesn't notify you if you're being as long as you're being buddy good yeah as long as you're not being mean it's only for mean stuff so it would like notify mrs denellan would get a notification it would be like will just called someone like a

fucking like if will commented something like that then his mom would it would go to her it would call the house phone and it would read it call the home phone did i ever tell you about when our neighbor left a voicemail that was funny no i think i might have like a long time ago but my brother was a paper boy back in the day and i love it yeah sometimes they would get home calls i'm like like some there was like a mean neighbor that always like that you left that paper and it was touching my garden and blah blah blah and then one time we got a call from our neighbor i almost said her name but i'll spare her and halfway through she's like a sweet lady she's like oh sam just want to say like thanks for blah we won't be needing the paper on sunday

next week because that biggest burp you've ever heard right in the middle and then just goes right back into what she was saying like the biggest burp like it was like she held the microphone to her face and burped it and we never brought it up because it was so like what do you say but we would see these people all the time and then eventually i think there were there's like new years or somewhere where people had been drinking and it was like all right we have cast and she told them they their son had gotten this like joke phone that had a bunch of like sound effects buttons on it and she had accidentally hit one of the sound effect buttons mid-call so either she had an unbelievable excuse at the ready or that's what happened that's phenomenal

i love that yeah and now she's a u.s senator is she really no i really respect it when someone farts mid-conversation and just keeps it pushing it's just like excuse me you would love will keeps it pushing respect will for the rest of your life i won't be low all right sorry i gotta stop what was oh you want my pitch yeah uh you have you ever wondered like how long you could actually just like survive in the wild yeah or like on an island shipwrecked yep it's like an island that you can pay to go get dropped on with nothing and you can see how long you survive and you're surveilled so they'll pull you off if anything dangerous is happening but you can it's like a chance to actually go try it i like that a lot that would be a fun vacation yeah maybe they

could like also put like rum there you know what i mean like it's like it's like buried it's like an escape room yeah like i want to survive but i still want it to be vacation because i'm gonna to take pto yeah ptsd ptsd um i love that i'm what would you call it island fever that do you know what that means no that is not a good thing bleep that bleep that but keep wait what does that mean bleep that but keep keep it in what does that mean uh it is it's uh i actually think i thought it's like when you're on an island and like it it feels so small that you like want to leave wait what is it called when you're like feel like you're trapped on an island maybe we're mixing it up with the there's another type of that that is very racist what can you google it

bleep this as well but is like oh my god i know i wouldn't have said that island fever is a colloquial term for psychological restlessness anxiety or cabin fever but experienced by people living on small isolated islands. I was definitely thinking the other one. I was thinking the other one as well. Jesus Christ. Oh my god. Still bleep it. No, don't bleep it. Put it in there.

Do not bleep that. I didn't say anything wrong. I would call it island fever. Should we do medieval torture methods that don't exist? Yeah, let's do it. Harry, you start. These are medieval torture methods that don't exist.

all right you wear a suit of armor that's lined with spikes and then they feed him so much so every day he gets fatter and he gets poked more and more oh that sounds horrible yeah okay i've got uh they're all supposed to sound you're right you're a torture the human horse they do a horse race but the humans are the horses and they put a horse on top of you and they race you through the mud you're strapped to a horse basically you're strapped to the underbelly of a horse as it's raised love it all right they hang you by your hair yep and as it grows you get closer and closer to a pit of piranhas piranhas i like that uh the bad bed you're in a bed of worms that eat your skin it's really comfortable but you're slowly dying over the course of years uh i got the shit

for brains they put a tube from your butthole into both of your ears and then they force feed you so you poop up the tubes and it goes in and infects your brain whoa uh the nail clippers it's regular nail clippers clipping all your nails but they don't stop when the nails are done and they keep going and clipping clipping tiny parts of your body over and over and over until you've clipped your heart as you do tv shows that don't exist yeah these are tv shows that don't exist voluntary exile a guy who's convinced that he could survive alone on an island goes and intentionally uh sorry he goes to an island on his own volition and he starts building a life there and it's working and he's got like a little thing going while he's there a guy another guy gets

shipwrecked there and asks him if he's also been shipwrecked there and even though he has a boat on the other side of the island that he could take home he lies because he likes this life he's building he's proud of it and tells him that he's been shipwrecked so he now is living with this other guy and they're building this life and they're happy but he's holding this secret that he could go home at any time and bring the guy back to his family that's and so it's like navigating the dynamics of that i love that uh private parts it's a reality tv show where contestants are completely covered except for their private parts yep and they're dating each other based on what each other's junk looks like that already exists what yeah you never heard of

this no it's called like naked dating in the uk can they only see their penis yeah fuck me they like they like have like a wall is what i'm told is like there's like a wall and it'll like gradually like go up and so you see like the dick i'm talking like like their abs and then you see like then but this is like over the course of like months like they're like getting to know each other all right you don't like that one party wars two friends have competing parties at the same time right so two friends go on this show then they can do whatever they want to make the party as crazy as they want at the end of the night the producers uh take the bac of everyone at party one and everyone at party two and whoever has the higher cumulative bac wins got it i love

it wouldn't it a worse party make you want to drink more though no okay all right uh beneath the sheet a group of hikers is trapped under an avalanche okay and the there's a couple there's a brother and sister in there sorry not a couple a group of hikers is trapped under an avalanche everyone dies except a brother and sister who mysteriously despite being trapped under there and not being able to breathe don't die they're in excruciating pain but they're rescued and scientists realize that they can breathe they don't they can hold their breath scientists scientists discover that they can hold their breath for an unbelievable amount of time so then they are sent to the bottom of the ocean they're sent to the moon they're sent to like

all these crazy places right because they have two people who now can hold their breath forever love that uh welcome love it randomly royal when historians realize there was a mistake in the line to the throne they have to go find who would be the rightful king if they if if it was correct sorry they find out it's this guy who lives in rural west virginia so they fly him to buckingham palace and now he's the king and he has to adjust to life away from west virginia and in the court. I like that a lot. Thank you. Bad brakes. A guy's driving a car

and he realizes the brakes don't work. It's a 12-part series where everyone is him going through a different state and he can't stop at all. I like that a lot. I like that a lot. Thank you guys for coming out and listening to our

episode today. Sorry that I nuked you or this guy rocks because I got a scary text from our boss. I hope to see you guys very soon Peace Love ya