Will & Rusty's Playdate - the burger freak off part II

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 and we are rolling playdate episode 238 and of course my favorite 38 year old um it's 240. shit is it really 240 my favorite 40 what happened to 239 you told me last episode i said it was 239 you're like no close i wanted to do danny woodhead it's 240 have you ever gotten woodhead sucks you know danny would have blocked me on twitter for i don't know i was like got in like a political argument with him back when i was in high school is he a right-leaning gentleman he was just super anti-vax got it okay why what was his what was his thought there i think he blamed that on why he was little really no i'm kidding i don't know is he uh what is he five eight probably
Starting point is 00:00:59 as always played it is brought to you by bear bells rusty show me your bear bells i think that if you played in the nfl on your five eight you can have any opinion you can have any yeah you've been you've gotten ragged on enough you know who's 240 though 240 of course gandalf i want to say lee corso is 240 years old yeah do your do it lead course of age what 91 close okay that counts 40 year old would a 40 with pat tillman this is our pat tillman episode oh how can we not talk about family when family's all that we got feels wrong why i don't know andrew you know about pat tillman of course yeah i think he was from around where i grew up i think he went to like a neighboring high school yeah
Starting point is 00:01:51 because they used to throw this like a fundraiser for him every year it was like a car wash and that's how i found out about him for some reason i just had the i just went to uh put my seat belt on but we're not in the car that is really concerning in my hand i was like my seat belt's not on but we're we're podcasting what the fuck am i talking about what you good though i've already just i think i uh should we address it address what there's a little bit of beef right now a bit of tension he's been on andrew i didn't mean to i didn't mean to he there was a thing that was an ad read that was written and it mentioned the same thing like four times and i said well that's not where it started that's not where oh this morning andrew asked a question that was a
Starting point is 00:02:31 completely normal question and i i like zoned out and tried to say it was like the kid in class who asked uh can these be used to look at more complex data sets and willie and andrew got very upset it was like a like a normal meeting analytical meeting and andrew had like a very valid question the whole time he's asking you're looking over at me like like look at this fucking idiot i was like what are you what are you this is a valid question i misread that i really prepared to launch on him from the second he started talking i misread that i misread the and then when the when you said everyone's just like what yeah i think i i misunderstood what he was saying but i i feel horrible and then uh we're going to do an ad read and i usually the brands write
Starting point is 00:03:17 the ad reads yeah and andrew had written these unbeknownst to me and he had mentioned the same thing like four times in it and i just said is this like their new big selling point and will whispered to me andrew wrote these so i have just been uh accidentally throwing andrew into the garbage disposal well you said it sucked and it was awful and whoever wrote it was evil evils like like yeah but then he said like grew which you and then that and then i kind of came back around to it that is the thing i will say for a supervillain not very evil right no no it's hard to picture him ever being evil girl what is his bit what's his worst crime trying to steal the moon well yeah when he stole the moon though that was he successful in the movie yeah i didn't know
Starting point is 00:04:03 or him and vector like kind of both do it or something but i was gonna say him stealing the moon really changed the tides did you i was gonna say did you read that book in middle school where rick van winkle close isn't that a alcohol that's happy van winkle but i believe it actually jameson's i believe i believe it initially was called rick van winkle did you read that book in middle school where like everyone's really excited because this asteroid was going to hit the moon and then when it hit the moon the moon like moved a little bit and it caused all the tides to shift and so there were like mass tsunamis in like all parts of the world and then like the power grid went down and these people just like had to survive in their homes for a really long
Starting point is 00:04:50 time without power water food to kill a mockingbird jungle book it was kind of like it was like i think it was called like 1984 is that what happens in 1984 wait what i this is a this was a book that was like it was like yeah yeah yeah it was like a book we all had to read and except for i don't know miss munkleroy assigned it to us so he's crank munkler like a harry harry potter professor miss muckler professor munkleroy miss muckler she was awesome sure by the way oh thank you for the video listeners says if this flag offends you it's because your team sucks got it it's a joke shirt right because it has the flag of a team who sucks the cowboys haven't won anything in our lives that's not true what i'm pretty sure they won a playoff round like a couple years ago
Starting point is 00:05:40 they won at least like five i'm pretty sure they got a buy in the playoffs yeah so what was that something they won a super bowl i think it was like 96 oh with troy aikman um who i got to work with nice for a while yeah i forgot he does um i never really got to talk to him he's always with his kids and we had chargers uh not at the chargers it was when i was working in texas i worked at this place that hosted his restaurant did he did he go to a&m no uh this was like my summer wait i know where he went the naval academy wait where'd he go you it was like a food hall yeah he owned a restaurant it a burger restaurant not and i ran a social media page troy's why what were you thinking i just
Starting point is 00:06:27 thought maybe like a football pun or something oh that would have been fun wait he uh you ran the social media for troy's what'd you post on it um i would do a lot of sketches i did a sketch with a pizookie yeah that's awesome yeah yeah we did this like fun pizookie sketch and i needed like a waitress to come like deliver post pizookie on main now yeah and then we would eat it in the green room oh yeah good god jesus man troy's what you do with troy's bouzouki in your fucking free time oh it's your own business what is a bouzouki i'm having to say that to one of our producers that was all time all right keep moving keep moving i don't want to yeah no let's sit in this moment nope all right wait i have a question there's nothing wrong with eating troy's bouzouki
Starting point is 00:07:20 on company time here's a question well it was taken away from her editor all right stop we're moving on uh i have a question for you yes where did troy go to college can you pull up a bouzouki at the same time yeah okay you've explained to me what a bouzouki is before right college Pazookie Michigan UCLA Wait he went to UCLA? No University of Oklahoma
Starting point is 00:07:51 Oh he did go to UCLA And Oklahoma Okay now pull up a Pazookie For Jackson We've already looked this up I just forget Oh yes Oh my god you guys would like tag team
Starting point is 00:08:10 A Pazookie in the back well i would know that i know those parts are crazy i always want to eat pizookies like on company time and the only way to get them for free is if we use them in a video so i used to eat pizookie on company yeah that's the american dream so love that i would i would write these sketches that involved a pizookie one way or another just so i could eat one still on the after yeah they're still on the pages i mean i'd have to dig deep this was like back in 2018 um i got time but what was really funny was i needed a waitress for one of the sketches okay and i was like just be a waitress and she would come up and every take she did she would be like
Starting point is 00:08:50 hi how can i help you and i'd be like just be yourself like you do this every day edge does that too really like you get on camera and they would try and i can't remember the last time i saw him they'd come into his office and he he turns into a different guy when you film him have you ever filmed edge before well do you remember when we filmed with rick no you were on the oh my god yes will and i are filming this mountain dew ad where we're like picking up people and not on that tandem bike and uh we had our buddy rick get on the back he like helped build it so we were like get on the back rick and he turned into like a madman he's like oh my god i love mountain dew like screaming across the boardwalk oh arlington that's where the cowboys
Starting point is 00:09:41 play yeah yeah it was right outside go to reels it'll go quicker uh i don't know if it was a real i don't think reels existed back in 2018. i think i'd have to go to videos but are you in them are you kind of this yeah of this i'm in like all of them he's like uh is troy's a relatively uh successful pizookie shop uh that's a good question i don't think it was well i mean when i was on the social media course it was popping yeah like we had reservations like years in advance okay um but then when someone else took over i just are other people are other places making pizookies uh no it's just troy's burgers did he come up with the name pizookie yeah oh oh i mean i just thought you meant in the actual like a restaurant place um no uh pizookies are like a thing like
Starting point is 00:10:31 bj's does um do you not remember having this conversation i do i was like bj's that was what we talked about the last time we talked about got it okay all right let's see what you're on sorry i didn't mean to come at you for not knowing bj's i didn't mean to come on you for not knowing how to do bjs so it's like a live music place too yeah they would also do country artists every wednesday night and they did um girls night on thursday it's pretty fun you would flip a coin and uh if you called it right then you would get free dinner whoa yeah for the whole table profitable no we had to end the promotion like a month and really people were winning too often Yeah, you'd think it'd be like 50-50, but it was like 75-25.
Starting point is 00:11:19 I don't know. I'm so hungover. I am never drinking again. Do you want to go get a marg? Obviously. So Edge saw this and said, we've got to get this guy on our team. How did you get hired here, Andrew? Did you apply or did they find you?
Starting point is 00:11:35 They find one with you in it. I don't know if there are any. Were you even in any, man? I don't know. Now I'm starting to question. Did you not have the acting chops, to be honest? I guess not I thought I was like
Starting point is 00:11:47 I thought I was like the man of this page you think they took it all down after they found out about the burger freak off oh my god Will asked me I wanted to do another
Starting point is 00:11:58 burger freak off today and he said no I said we should do a hot dog freak off I just think the burger freak off has been done before can y'all let us know if you'd be open to
Starting point is 00:12:05 a hot dog freak off and if the problem is I kind of want to do the burger freak off again to see how far like if I can get further i i will say you i mean you've started working out since then and you i was also thinking hear
Starting point is 00:12:20 me out on this what if we sip open submissions for playmates to submit videos of them throwing a cheeseburger on a football field and if anyone can break break my score we'll fly them out for the burger freak off what was it is it okay that we say freak off yeah yeah all right can we talk about the burger freak off yeah yeah sorry do you remember that andrew i was not there have you heard about it but that was pa that was pre-andrew well yeah lauren was a part of it for ba but i guess i just figured she was just there maybe that was like one of the last do you think that happened and then she was like she she saw you in a romantic sense i mean after you threw a burger 50 yards she was like i have what was it like 47 yards it was a cheeseburger i don't even know if
Starting point is 00:13:05 i could throw a football it was for i will say and i know you could do it again the wind caught it perfect you threw it up and it like flutters like a frisbee yeah i'm just saying andrew i think what what do you think about this what if we did burger freak off part two yep we got playmates from all across the world to submit a video of them throwing a cheeseburger and tag us and whoever throws it the furthest we bring out and we all compete head-to-head in a burger freak off that would be great are we paying for their flights out here that's what flying out yeah where are they going to stay are we going to like stay with jack they could stay with me yeah okay yeah or we fly to them okay yeah i uh i'm down here's the thing i think we i think i went uh
Starting point is 00:13:50 backhand last time and i think i want to go forehand this time you gotta go forehand this way oh yeah i was sorry i was doing it forehand i think i want to do back oh okay i threw mine yours was like uh yours was like when the space or when the rocket like leaves the yeah the shuttle like the but you threw it up in like the bun and ketchup like left it was so just the cheese and patty obviously i remember what started the burger freak off right for the playmates that don't i honestly don't remember i don't remember at all really i think i think like a running joke that we talked about like how far could you throw a cheeseburger and someone called it the burger freak off and we like talked about for like six months and then i think maybe it was because
Starting point is 00:14:34 lauren was leaving we're like we have to finally do the burger freak off and then it's on our where is it it's online so i mean you google burger i have the footage on it it's on our server here's what here's my proposal for burger freak off 2.0 we do the barbecue olympics so the burger freak the burger freak off is the discus obviously okay the hot dog is the javelin i just don't want to like remove the sanctity of the burger freak off it's beautifully perfect that was what it was you told me i think i can throw a cheeseburger 30 yards that's what it was that's how it started i told him i could throw these cheeseburger 30 yards and he said no way blew it out of the water
Starting point is 00:15:17 are we mic'd up yeah i remember like oh my god patty patty that's a patty that's a patty 49 yards wow 50 would have been a nice little vindicated i was right i was right He is correct that the frisbee method is the best way to do it. His, like, catch this, like, up. Saying the exact same thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:01 Wait, who's the other cameraman? I don't know. Apparently, we put, like, a ton of production into this. Wow. That's awesome. You threw a cheeseburger. You might be, I mean, can you Google what's the furthest someone's thrown a cheeseburger? I'm sure you hold the world record.
Starting point is 00:16:15 Yeah. What if it's like a mile? There's no official recognized world record. Maybe tell it. I mean, look, the first thing that comes up is our video. We'll broke the world record. You guys got to do this again. I think I'm down.
Starting point is 00:16:39 Can I do something direct to camera? Is that camera on me, Andrew? In 2024, I threw a cheeseburger 49 yards, and that record has still never been beaten. So we're having a second Burger Freak-Off and we want one of you to be part of it. So playmates, go to a football field, throw a cheeseburger.
Starting point is 00:16:57 It's got to be with the buns on it and you measure it by how far the meat goes. You have to throw it with the buns, but the measurement is just based on how far the meat goes. If you can beat 49 yards, we will fly you out to California and let you participate in the second ever Burger Freak-Off. see you soon imagine a guy like driving we'll fly into california fuck it really can't we
Starting point is 00:17:21 we gotta have a budget for that yeah i mean economy we can get them there we get them economy yeah we're not you know we're not flying them out and they have to throw a burger 50 yards to be able yeah oh my god there's someone's gonna do it okay yeah someone's definitely gonna do 49 yards also it was 2025 not 2024 wait you've only been doing this for a year Yeah. Really? Yeah. All right, let me start again then.
Starting point is 00:17:45 Let me try one more. In 2025, I threw a cheeseburger 49 yards, and that record has never been beaten. So now it's time to host the second annual Burger Freak-Off, and we want one of you to participate. So please, go to a football field, bring a cheeseburger, throw it with the bun on, and measure it based on how far the patty goes.
Starting point is 00:18:04 If you can throw it more than 49 yards, we want to bring you out to L.A. for the second ever Burger Freak-Off. if multiple people break 49 whoever throws it the furthest on video unedited you're getting an invite to the second ever burger freak off right here in california good luck i'm excited i'm very excited and then you can like splice in some of the footage of that and you're the uh yeah i mean i i know a playmate's gonna do it yeah so that'll be fun it's gonna be awesome i i still think there should be a javelin event with with any type of hot dog or sausage you want yes okay fine and for this year we are adding an event the javelin hot dog whoever can javelin throw a
Starting point is 00:18:46 hot dog with the bun but measure it based on where the dog lands the tip the tip lands the furthest will also get an invite maybe maybe i don't know if we have the budget for that yeah start with the burger but then we'll add the javelin yeah okay what other events could there be the ice cream derby what if they're on like a mini football field so it looks like it's 50 yards but i think if they have that if they can if they can do i think we'll be able to tell what's a real if you cheat you're a loser what if they're like a small person like on a small football field so are these a fit is this a thing we need to be worried about are there small football fields i think people could make like dioramas you know and make it look like it's like a tiny ant size
Starting point is 00:19:28 yeah yeah yeah okay one second say no dioramas if you want to participate post the video on either tiktok or instagram tag playdate pod and use hashtag burger freak off all right i'm i'm i'm gonna say it you know i've been getting yoked in the gym yeah buddy and bear bells has been right there with me every step of the way these things are actually so good i can't believe they have this much protein and they taste this good it is like if uh if uh taking a shower made you smarter or something it's like what a win-win you know what i mean that's what it feels like seriously guys they're the number one protein bar in the u.s bear bells makes protein bars with 20 grams of protein and no added sugar and more importantly they taste as good as a candy
Starting point is 00:20:16 bar their bars strike the perfect balance between flavor texture and function speaking of function you know what wave i've been on chocolate dough yeah buddy and if you want and if you want to try them they are available at retailers like target walmart vitamin shop and gnc they have flavors like cookies and cream chocolate dough all right you're going too fast man cookies and caramel peanut butter and many more it's slow go slower if you haven't tried bear bells yet go to faster Bearbells.com to shop the full lineup and use code PLAYDAY for 15% off your order! I love them! I love Bearbells! Jerry, I'm so thrilled! I am so excited to see the New England Patriots this year, starting in September.
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Starting point is 00:22:44 it takes off at 11 59 and you're gonna connect somewhere gotta connect through minneapolis so you'll get to minneapolis like four in the morning i think i will be there yeah at a time that doesn't exist yet um but i'm very i'm very very excited to get over there so i brought some i've had this stack of clothes that don't fit but i want to keep them that i've been meaning to take to the tailor forever and i finally did it last week and i'm gonna pick them up after this and most of them were like new clothes that i got in the mail that just didn't totally fit right but then one was a hoodie that i really like that's always just been way too big but it's worn in like it is clearly an old hoodie and when i came out of the dressing room wearing it one of the
Starting point is 00:23:25 seamstresses looked at the other guy and was like why is he tailoring that yep i didn't even know You can tailor like old shit like that. You can tailor like t-shirts. I know guys that like get them get them fitting, right? Well, yeah, can you tell her like your nutsack if it's like too droopy? You get a nut lift with all the holes in your shorts. I know you don't have that problem. Do these have a hole? Oh God, do they that did you like flatten them? So I'm gonna have this going on large on the forum large penis support Yeah Yeah, Oh Lordy. Oh my do you think that wait, can you look up our large penis burger? I wouldn't find it every time i google featherstone large penis support group oh god because i bet i wonder
Starting point is 00:24:07 if there's been comments like holy shit they talked about us oh true i didn't even think about that yeah i wonder it's kind of shocking that there's anyone that would uh do you have like safe search on anyone that would touch maybe put lpsg oh fuck they talked about this thread on today's episode of the pod i don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing lol i haven't been on here in forever but i had to log in just to see it for myself and he's got a picture oh my god that guy joined he's a legendary member he joined in 2006 this has been going on since 2006 maybe not i would hope our page hasn't wait this is cool you can put yourself on the spectrum of like how gay versus how straight you are like as one percent 99% gay 1% straight oh my god this person
Starting point is 00:24:53 is asexual 99 gay 1 straight oh my what would you guys say you are 80 20 i don't like i is the percentage of like how much you want to have sex with a guy um no i think it's percentage of how gay you are i don't think i'm i don't know wait how do you become a platinum gold member uh i can show you later bro joined during quarantine yeah this guy joined may 11 2020 during quarantine yeah oh god does this make you like think about the things that you post now it's actually not the worst photo of my body so i'm fine with it uh it makes me think about that there's someone who's probably jacked off to us which is kind of shocking i think that's kind of sweet yeah i kind of like that do you think more do you think more men or women have masturbated
Starting point is 00:25:45 to this this website or just us i don't think there's any women oh i don't think there's any women on this site okay all right i guess i'd rather i mean i'd definitely rather a woman than a man thinking about me during that but i'm happy for them that they're able to do that but this cracks me up because this is like an ad oh yeah they're put in my username ambassador yeah they'd screenshot of my airbnb ad and put it on yeah that's kind of crazy um that's funny man i mean they got some good wait what is vpl some good old-fashioned vpl god i don't i'm like learning about this against my will or typed what is into google what is vpl
Starting point is 00:26:36 visible panty line what do you know there is not panty click on the fucking photo i don't have any vpl you gotta log in if you want the vpl for the record those that bathing suit has a liner there's no underwear in there so that's impossible all right here's a question okay visible penis line maybe andrew oh got it could be like the male version uh it could be ventral Posterolato nucleus Do you see Rusty's ventral Posterolato nucleus Andrew how far do you think you could throw a cheeseburger
Starting point is 00:27:12 Depends are we talking feet Yards meters Like what system are we doing Yards You can actually give it to us in any And we can translate I feel like Andrew Might be pretty he's pretty strong
Starting point is 00:27:28 But I obviously have the technique Down to it yeah i'm also not familiar with burgers at all i think i just like wouldn't know my way around it yeah got it got it which would are you not do you not eat them a lot i do but like i'm not throwing them often right i feel like you guys this is will's this is will and i's first time as well can i put that neato um i think i could get it 49 yards and an inch you're a dick you're dick bag i stinky how do we feel about practicing for the burger free cough like can i go to sam ohio myself and practice i got a question yeah with fantasy football coming up okay um last year
Starting point is 00:28:14 to do our order we had to shotgun a beer and then run a 40 and the combined time oh for the company one uh oh we did do it for the company one was a chug a beer and then run no the company one was a your your pop time as a catcher on a baseball field we all went to a that was for a could be the move video but then for the friday beers video we chugged a beer oh you're right a 40 uh no this was for my friend group okay um so i did it on a football field but what what do you guys think your time would be if you had a shotgun a beer and then run a 40 well i think i can probably run a 40 we did it last year right but it was chug you chugged it i think a shotgun you'd be faster i think like yeah definitely i could do i could probably run 40 yards i could probably do a 40
Starting point is 00:29:05 like five and some change i think i got like alignment speed and then i can probably shotgun a beer in two and a half seconds so if you add a second for like uh the transition maybe eight nine seconds yeah i have no idea i i 10 i think i didn't what didn't i do in like 10 seconds or i don't really remember we also did on the beach yeah that was hard running in like slow motion yeah yeah we all did it on all right have you done yours yet this year um i have not i think this year we're going to base it on edward 40 hand times i like that so we're going to vegas next week nice and uh we're on the first night i think we're going to do edward 40 hands whoever finishes those first good first pick of whatever order they want in the fantasy you're you're like you're
Starting point is 00:29:55 you're doping a little bit though because you got extra room because of your hernia and you can fit like i know that's true hopefully they don't hear the episode know about the hernia wait did you go to the doctor or tomorrow i go tomorrow but um before we do that i have to do my fantasy football punishment oh you came in last i came in last last season damn i've never so i have to split the g of a guinness five times in a row like consecutively like days so once a day like i have to split the g and if i hit it then like next day try to hit it and i have to do it basically five days in a row i mean that could take all year it could take all year i'm thinking about documenting so you just have to start it so you're just gonna have a get you're
Starting point is 00:30:42 probably just gonna have a guinness every day for the next like couple years yeah until i hit but you don't have to finish it um the guinness you're not gonna start one and not finish it though i feel like if you're doing it every day you'd have to i mean i could drink one guinness a day that would kill me right you don't want to do that no i mean i'm definitely gonna get tired of the taste of it but i'm thinking about documenting it do you think that would i think you should yeah document it yeah i'm thinking that would be fun yeah that would be fun and just see if i can do it five days in a row because like imagine how brutal it'd be to do to do it like four days in a row yeah and then miss on the fifth how are you defining splitting the g
Starting point is 00:31:16 the line it has to be exactly on the line it's never i don't think it's possible five days in a row no way the pressure would get to you i think you i think you will max max be able to string together three days i think split the g should be in between the line and then the little line above it like on the g within that little gap in the g that is what it is right no he's on the line on the line of the g i don't even know if i've ever done that i might always just wait what do you consider it just that little space and i've heard it both ways that's what i was oh i i even know guys that are just like just get it in the g that yeah i've heard in the g i think that's lame so you guys hit it in that little gap between oh yeah between the the top
Starting point is 00:32:02 and the bottom of the g yours has to be touching the i mean that's like in the line that's i mean That's like next level good at drinking beer. So I've been practicing. I've been practicing. Are you getting pretty good? I'm getting pretty good, and I can tell because the glasses I have have Guinness on the front and the back. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:18 So I can tell from where I'm drinking it where I need to stop it. Okay. And then get right there. Mine is two big gulps, one half gulp. Usually gets there for me. One half gulp. Okay. But I don't want to get in your head.
Starting point is 00:32:32 Yeah. Mine's three big gulps, spit half back in. so same who was the guy that posted uh it was willie that was really no someone else copied it and got like way more views are you serious yeah oh wait you made that i made a video like a year ago with my buddy where he it was his idea it was my buddy will who i did videos in college with where like he goes too far and then he goes and fills it back up to the line does he like ever think about pursuing entertainment like i think it's so funny that like you have this job no i mean like the i'm shooting a sketch tomorrow that i wrote that was like an idea we had in
Starting point is 00:33:10 college and stuff and like i've been texting with him about it and like he's stoked about like nice i think he's happy i mean he's doing really well for himself and that's good what does he do now accountant nice but he has cpa uh yeah right or what why is that funny i just thought it was funny i don't know i thought that was a good question i was just curious if he has a comedy that was a funny that was a funny question i don't know i i don't i think you have to right yeah i think that they're they allow a couple years after graduation where you don't have the cpa but like to make real money yeah he might be like so it's like getting like you're pretty high he's like doing well at a big four okay what is he at what firm is he at i can't tell you
Starting point is 00:33:56 because you don't know or it's confidential no because if i told you it would blow our he would get fired actually yeah if it's like one of those firms or if you say the name it's like voldemort where he gets fired got it got it my buddy became a lawyer um this year and all of his uh trials are live streamed what isn't that awesome wait where on the government website like the state website so you can just go log on so he'll like he'll be like yo boys going to battle yeah yeah yeah going to trial in two hours like here's the link here's like the password and there's like a live chat in there too so you can be like chatting with your boys and um he was like spamming like w and he makes a good point yeah yeah exactly and he can't see the chat though
Starting point is 00:34:43 right i don't think so no but he can like check it like during their like recess i've always wondered why some trials so it's like up to the discretion of the judge whether or not they're going to televise it so when you watch like the johnny depp one or like the oj thing whatever like that's because the judge says that it could be televised what is the benefit of it being televised like wouldn't that only be wouldn't that only bring negatives to the case i think most could be i think like it's more that they have to go out of their way to prevent it from it i think it's like i don't know the judge is trying to pivot into more of an influencer space yeah that's how judge judy got yeah yeah it's good for him or it's like it's good for his
Starting point is 00:35:23 portfolio judge be looking good that day right can i tell you something yeah what if there was a homeless guy who played small ball like a baseball team does and he focused on a bunch of little hits instead of overvaluing big ones is he doing this via diorama or no like little hits of like crack oh oh he's playing small ball yeah he's really good at like play small really good at rationing yeah he does like a bunch of little hits and focuses on accumulating little hits rather than overvaluing big ones like i think that could work i think that could work is that how so do you think most homeless guys have a strategy with the drugs no it's kind of just run and gun yeah no uh interesting okay i don't know i don't know you ever seen the
Starting point is 00:36:24 there's a documentary on the internet called like mother god or something no i don't know kind of dylan's been watching it so i've been kind of watching what's it about it's about this lady who like has a cult nice yeah do you remember rage comics no it'd be like lay me you don't remember these wait say it again it'd be like lay me in my room watching tv lay me yeah it was like french like lame news like these man you remember these kind of oh from like i funny yeah yeah yeah what is it rage comics but what it was like it came out in the paper uh no i think it was just on ifunny got it um but there was one that never had ifunny there was one i thought you would have loved ifunny never i funny was right up your alley um oh like mother of god yeah yeah that's
Starting point is 00:37:21 when you said mother god that's what i thought of i was featured on ifunny no way yeah what'd you post do you know the concept of ifunny it was like memes i guess right yeah it was like but they would choose 20 memes a day to post on like the main page got it so every day you were looking forward to like what 20 memes were going to be posted and then you would talk about them with all your friends they were cash and they were so funny and like if you were featured like that was like a big deal because that meant like millions of people were seeing you're like me right or whatever what was your um mine was there was a photo of a washing machine that was like do not touch will loves it already and there was like a post-it note of patrick being like touch
Starting point is 00:38:07 from the spongebob episode okay they're like don't touch anything and he like keeps touching things and then another was literally we had this exact scenario this weekend when we were on the beach with our excavators and like the excavator would fall over and we try to lift it with another excavator that one would fall yeah i had like photos of like them trying to pull this excavator out of the water and then that falling in and then a bigger excavator coming in and then that one falling in and a bigger one and so on and so forth that's fun and those two got featured um and it was a really big deal because then like once you got featured people would make like edits for you of you like getting featured so your profile photo would be like um would be like
Starting point is 00:38:50 feature balls that were like um do you remember uh dragon balls remember you know how dragon balls always have like the star on them i'm learning i learned so much from you but what his dragon you know dragon balls like they had these little like like dragon ball z yeah yeah um oh the z helped you yeah i've heard of that but i don't know what it is and so they they have these like clear balls or whatever and so people would make edits like with these clear balls but they would have like the feature symbol on them and you you could like do them in different shapes so based on the number of times you've been featured you could have like these feature balls in your profile picture and people would do these edits like for free so they just asked me to send
Starting point is 00:39:32 them like a photo of me like holding two balls and i would okay i would say you guys andrew you are losing me right now i don't know what the fuck you're talking about i've already i already used both my bullets on tearing andrew down earlier yeah so i was like i'm just gonna let this right so you had people on the internet ask you to send you a picture of you holding two holding two balls and then they would like photoshop them to be like feature balls and then that was my profile i feel like there's a world where maybe they photoshopped you doing other things and that was a cover there was a guy that sent back and and the two balls were his dragon ball is even real or is that just a show that oh but we'd always message on kick did you
Starting point is 00:40:12 guys ever use kick as a kid never oh my god we were on kick for like a week or so like there was like a brief period before like i message came out or like for some reason we were all communicating on that and i think it word got around to our parents that that was where kids were like getting like molested over the internet so they were just groomed i never i didn't have a phone until high school and i feel like a lot of this was like middle school yeah yeah yeah middle school you i think it probably i would have been frustrated if i was not allowed to have like tv or a phone until high school but i think it probably did a lot more good for you than i don't know what i was missing i went to a really small middle school too so it was just that common
Starting point is 00:41:00 that kids didn't have phones and stuff yeah it just wasn't a big deal i don't know yeah there were 13 kids in my grade so it wasn't like before i had one like a pervasive like culture it was just kind of like i never knew you were you the coolest kid out of the 13 either me or brooks rowley probably there were kind of two schools of thought yeah you had your brooks heads for sure but yeah brooks are our best friends but we like would hate we would like getting huge fights we like hated each other but loved each other that was like what did you guys fight back then because we like both wanted to be like the center of attention and stuff and so like i don't know we were like he was like my boy but then sometimes i'd like want to kill him you also just spend so
Starting point is 00:41:42 much time together when you're kids that age like i remember i would get in screaming matches i'm actually gonna see him in like a couple days no my my buddy that i would get in fights with him was like now if i was fighting with a friend that much we just wouldn't be buddy yeah or we wouldn't fight you also i think it it also comes from like 70 of the time you're spending hanging out with them is doing something like competitive yeah i was like always like competing in sports like scratch you in pool basketball and then you like oh my god that same kid his mom imagine dunking the eight ball or something or what's pool basketball his mom went out of town for like two weeks and we were very into pool basketball at the time and he turned the pool up to 90 like
Starting point is 00:42:29 did not realize how expensive it was to like heat a pool it was like almost like hot tub temperature and left it that way for two weeks and his mom came back and it was like it was the most amount of i can't remember the exact number but it was it was a number that to us was and probably still would be like an ungodly amount of money terrifying i left my stove on for two weeks one time it's fun or on how well where uh in college which like it's kind of weird because yeah because remember notice the stove was on for two weeks i kept hearing this clicking sound oh just the gas was it just a gas or the fire was there fire there was no fire so maybe just a gas you're just leaking gas i mean were your windows open how
Starting point is 00:43:19 did you not die i don't know that's a good question maybe you did i noticed this clicking sound and it had been like raining for the last few days so i kind of thought it was just like from the rain like rain droplets were dropping from the window oh and then finally i was like wait what is that because we never cooked in our our college home ever and um this one day i happened to cook but i gave up halfway through and i just forgot to turn off the stove okay and uh i eventually was like this clicking is driving me nuts let me go check it out and it turned out to be the stove and our uh our utility bill was really high i don't know how you didn't die that's like gas leak is like the easiest way to yeah right not the easiest suicide
Starting point is 00:44:01 oh truck uh truck drives through the wall anvil falls from the sky sign style what's sign style in the movie signs mel gibson's wife gets like pinned to a wall by a truck oh it is oh my god there was a hurricane coming at our college house my senior year nice and we're all sitting there watching tv and one kid was sitting like up on the this part of the couch and sat back and his ass went through the window and it was the hurricane was an hour and a half away and so we were just sitting there like oh man this is really gonna be like the place to hunker down and i think we just like put a trash bag up and we called our landlord he's like no one can come fix it yeah in an hour hurricane ass window dude it was one of those ones where it was like that
Starting point is 00:44:57 you could not have picked a worse place for your ass i said that like that's a come on you're saying it was one of those times where you go now that's a bad place for your ass i know exactly what you're talking about i've been there yeah man what's the worst place your ass has been should we tell them nelson's but you guys went you guys went asked we were changing in for one of the shoots and we both bent over at the same time we like faced away from each other and our asses just yeah is that true yeah what are the fucking we were putting on those like alien suits or whatever for one of the who's high things i didn't think we'd ever talk about it we were in like the back bar area let me shine like let's just phase away from each other and we both bent
Starting point is 00:45:42 over in our bare butts i think i'm getting hold i actually completely forgot am i getting hold i never forgot holes and then stanley yelmats yeah which one of you is zero in this scenario we both are in some way you gotta hold i had a feeling i had a feeling i've never gone ass to ass with andrew i don't i mean when was last time when was the last time your bare ass was on another person's ass like tiktok when you're like tiktok tiktok time where like you both like if you're like with a girl and you like roll over yeah i was gonna say oh maybe yeah three weeks ago probably ass to ass bare ass to bare ass
Starting point is 00:46:27 when i was in college i had not been able to get over the like i just was not comfortable being naked around people uh and i remember my girlfriend at the time finally brought it up where she was like if we were like in bed and i had to go to the bathroom i would like put my leg out and like grab my boxers off the ground and like pull them back up like put my box on like under the sheets and then get up and go to the bathroom she's like we've been dating for like a year and i've never seen your butt have you gotten over that one thousand percent oh you're showing butts to everyone left i'm not really getting uh you haven't seen his butt yet you just ain't been looking yeah you ain't been looking brother but i mean that makes it seem
Starting point is 00:47:08 like i'm i'm just showing it to anyone around town i'm definitely definitely selective about who sees my bum sure can i go to the bathroom please this episode is brought to you by lucy lucy is the official pouch partner of almost friday premium 100 tobacco-free nicotine pouches made for true pouch connoisseurs lucy pouches and lucy breakers deliver long-lasting flavor for a seriously satisfying pouch experience what's your favorite lucy right now i've been go an eight milligram mint breaker you bet on that wave kind of i've been on that wave for a minute now i use them for focus for energy to relax while i'm having a couple beers we got an office vending machine stocked full of these puppies and guys lucy is the obvious choice for
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Starting point is 00:48:38 stands for asap on apps like doordash and gopuff and you can always set it and forget it with a monthly subscription delivered to your door from lucy.co lucy's the only pouch that delivers long lasting on-demand flavor find a store at lucy.co stores or get it shipped with 20 off your first order at lucy.co playdate using code playdate tell them the fine print lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every customer is age verified warning this product contains nicotine nicotine is an addictive chemical let's get back into the episode should we road map it up i have a question hit me who is shane dawson shane dawson was a popular youtuber back in the day that uh i really enjoyed uh his sketches when i was a young boy because they were really raunchy and out there
Starting point is 00:49:26 like he would make fun of degrassi and they were like next level kind of crazy time for me why drink there kind of yeah kind of like that there i remember he made like an ass burgers joke one time and it was like ass literally like burgers came out of his butt covered in poop like it was right up my alley when i was like seven and uh and i was not supposed to be watching that and i think that's like what the appeal of it was like this is very very naughty and then i andrew correct me if i'm wrong he what or don't correct me if i'm wrong fill in the gaps here what uh he committed some sort of sex crime he made a joke about having sex with his cat that's it that's uh that's why he got canceled i think it was can you google it i think there
Starting point is 00:50:15 might have been something a little more intense uh why do you ask did he come up he just came up of my feet while i was peeing shane dustin was canceled due to uh public backlash over cumulative history of offensive and inappropriate content this included resurfaced clips of him using blackface racial slurs making jokes about pedophilia and inappropriately sexualizing minors such as an old clip involving an underage willow smith i did forget about the blackface part i I thought he was doing Indian face in the Degrassi thing, but I guess it could have been a black woman. Horrible stuff.
Starting point is 00:51:00 He made a movie called Cancelled. He did? Looks like it. How did it do? Oh, I forgot about Jeffree Star. Jeffree Star was awesome. There were a couple crazy people on the internet back in the day. back in the day you ever watch um david dobrik yeah i liked i watched david dobrik for a long
Starting point is 00:51:24 time yeah i was kind of kidding i was trying to say like someone obviously you know the uh the our cahill told me today that i remind him of uh jake weber who is another like old school youtuber but i thought he was like emo so i don't know if that was me too yeah i don't know what Yeah, that was kind of a confusing comparison. Is he old school? I thought he was like new school. What? I thought he was new school.
Starting point is 00:51:50 Is he old school? I don't know. I thought he was old school. I went to a... You went to a new school? That was the name of my school. New school? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:58 When? The new school. When? From pre-K through sixth grade. It was called the new school. Were you the first guy to go there? No. Still around?
Starting point is 00:52:10 Is it now the old school? No. the middle school it's still called new that's how why it's called middle school it's schools who have been around for just the right just the right amount and then high school is like it's so for stoners yeah yeah isn't that funny though yeah why would they call it that i think it was had to have been temporary and then they were like i think that's what happened it's like we're in 2d it also kind of sounds cool i like it i'm on board with it i think there's a college called that in new york too i went to apple tree really yeah apple tree where'd you go andrew
Starting point is 00:52:43 elementary school kindergarten uh shady grove what about kindergarten shaded grove i mean shady elementary shady grove that's a good one what about elementary pond shady grove okay it was kindergarten yeah middle you know what's interesting though is um my elementary school didn't go to fifth grade like we stopped at fourth grade yeah and then we had intermediate school which is fifth and sixth grade and then we had middle school which is seventh and eighth and then we did high school nine through twelve we had all four so first through fourth fifth through eighth ninth through twelfth i went i went maiden cove apple tree pond cove they kind of they kind of went hard on those names cape elizabeth cape elizabeth rollins i went which
Starting point is 00:53:27 my dad did the exact same route but just like 30 years prior and we had the same with the same preschool teacher can you imagine that that's having a kid having a kid as your student at like 30 or 40 and then when she was like 70 she has that kid's child that's got to be a fucking yeah that would really like blow my mind i would just i think she really enjoyed it i think she just that was she was like put on earth to be like a caregiver yeah she was the you know you know when old ladies have like soft hands when you're a baby and they're like holding you she'd like oh my god like i'm traction drop me you know what i'm talking about yeah oh yeah yeah buddy i feel like i would just be in like this like world where time has just stopped because you're
Starting point is 00:54:13 constantly dealing with like the same grade like same age of kids every day i see what you're saying you're teaching the same thing yeah every year yep that i would just think like i'm getting older but like nobody else is if that makes sense yes yeah i think that would be trippy if you taught the same grade yeah of children too not like high school because high schoolers you're at least seeing other people if you're if you go to a kindergarten every day yeah for multiple multiple years and the kids just stay yeah the same and now you're having your students kids would be super trippy i don't know how she did i would have like a fucking crisis but i think it's beautiful maybe i would feel like it's like groundhog's day just every day we also she said we looked
Starting point is 00:54:59 many people said we looked very very similar to so i think that would be trippy like holy i had that like with my older brother and sister i'm sure you had that yeah sisters where it was like all the teachers would be like oh my god you're sam's brother yeah yeah yeah and uh i can never live up to yeah the sister before me was was very very serious academically and so i think that that honestly made it worse i always hated that because i felt like i couldn't like prove myself like the bar was always like at the top for me was your older sibling really both of them both of them really smart very smart very successful and so they just already kind of put me in that category yeah and i never got to like prove that like i'm also really smart because they're just
Starting point is 00:55:44 like oh your siblings are smart you're definitely are you were you good at school i did well in school yeah yeah i think i was like that i was like they brought in the closer for the night yeah you were mario i think i was the best student of the three of us oh really at least at that point yeah are the best pitchers the closers well they're best for like a short amount of time i know i was gonna say i thought they just had like a fresh arm yeah i can't i mean usually they can like throw really hard and they can they just like don't have like the last thing they can't pitch like a lot of innings it's just like a different skill set honestly okay what are your siblings do now andrew my sister does political documentaries and then my brother um works for
Starting point is 00:56:26 microsoft well i don't think i knew your sister what kind of political documentary she works for um pbs oh so they're like they're left-leaning uh political documentaries nice over things like they're gonna lose all their funding are they is she worried about that is pbs losing on their they've like threatened to cut it yeah i think they were talking about that recently and i only heard parts of the conversation so i i'm not 100 sure i thought they get it all from like donations No, it's a government, PBS. I mean, I think they also solicit donations. We would get, like, water bottles and fucking tote bags and stuff.
Starting point is 00:57:01 Because if you donate, they send, like, a gift. Yeah, I mean, I think they all... But they get some... They were created by the government, I think, right? Maybe. Gotta be, right? I think it's, like, a Fed... But now any sort of, like, state media that is not aligned is kind of...
Starting point is 00:57:17 The first progress was Julia Child's The French Chef. Really? Very, very fun. yeah i guess it's a public broadcasting service oh my god they started like right after the moon landing they were probably like fuck we could have or they saw they thought it was this was gonna be a regular thing yeah they're like oh we'll get we're gonna start this we'll just be kind of the home of the moon landing yeah the only thing i remember from pbs was like what was that bear show bernstein bears uh that was a book right i think they might have a show
Starting point is 00:57:51 I think it was like... Cocaine Bear. It was close to that. Every day before school, I'd watch Cocaine Bear. Wasn't, like, Arthur on PBS? Arthur was on PBS. Martha Speaks was on PBS. Martha Speaks was goaded.
Starting point is 00:58:01 You would like Martha Speaks. I don't know that. It was about a dog who ate alphabet soup, and then she could talk. That's awesome. Isn't that great? Like, the letters got into her... Oh, yeah. Bear necessity.
Starting point is 00:58:15 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, it was Bear in the Big Blue House? There was one... That was on Disney. uh oh there was one about uh maybe it started on these kids that had to go through space and there was like an evil meet the robinsons no there's like an evil guy that would try and stop them and they had to do like math to get out of it and he had like pens in his shirt and uh i remember that one was a trip dragon tales oh my god dragon tales dragon tales right come on up
Starting point is 00:58:43 it's dragon tales can you google dragon tales i haven't thought about that fucking dude dragon tales was so sick i haven't talked about that father holy thought about that i hope our kids yes yeah dude i hope our kids have shows like this you know what show i love whoa veggie tales veggie tales is a good one um land before time the tv show i haven't seen it you haven't seen it i feel like i've heard of it but oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh my god i forgot about that this was a great show wow wait what was the wasn't wasn't VeggieTales like there was some like hidden it was a exclusively Christian thing got it I as a kid also did not clock any of it yeah Clifford Clifford was gas too oh yeah I thought
Starting point is 00:59:33 you meant it was Christian too Clifford was Christian I think Clifford was Protestant his big red ass was Lutheran I love this one show and I only remember one episode of it but it was baby Looney Tunes it was all the Looney Tunes characters but they're oh and they lived in like a home or something yeah and there was one episode where they all wake up and they have like crust in their eyes and they're like how did we get all this crust in our eyes and somebody was like oh every night the sandman comes and he like yeah puts a little bit of sand in your eyes every night when you're sleeping and so they're like okay we're all going to take shifts throughout the night and we're all going to stay up and we're going to wait
Starting point is 01:00:07 for the sandman to come and we're going to stop putting sand in our eyes and one of the guys ends up falling asleep during his shift and they all wake up with crust in their eyes and they're like you fucking idiot like you forgot you forgot to catch the sandman um they all just had pink eye for me rubbing his butt on their face yeah man would you comment name rubbed his butt on the ruddy buddy what was the one about this oh you remember sid the science kid oh sid the science kid was sick dude i kind of remember that was like the last year i was watching pbs that was must see tv oh this one was scary dude so the science kid was good yeah i don't actually remember this at all i'm gonna be honest did you ever watch um kick bakowski kick batowski
Starting point is 01:00:52 kick batowski that's what it is yeah yeah yeah no no that was card i know i didn't watch cartoon network really did you not we were told cartoon cartoon network was like bad oh man the best show was total drama island if you go back and watch that one missed all of this it was basically like survivor it was it was like a reality show but it was like animated and it was so good i remember i watched my parents framed it as like disney disney was like good and safe nickelodeon was a little edgy cartoon network was like gonna make you like dumb but i don't think there was any truth to that my mom was so anti-sponge bob like she was like she was worried worried about it i mean patrick bro patrick's horny ass oh my i wouldn't trust my kid around patrick no bro oh my lordy you
Starting point is 01:01:41 seen uh they like zoom in on his brain and his brain isn't plugged in no that's like it's a scene there's a dangling cord and it's like above the thing uh should we roadmap it up yes i have all the time this guy rocks let's go this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey i just got an email from uh rover i haven't done rover since college you did it once one never do it again dude you didn't like it i was the only guy in in winter park that would accept like 160 pound plus dogs so i got this one named covid and he was literally the size of like a miata oh my god and uh just fucked around my house the whole time i tried to take him on a walk and so i brought a skateboard and he took off running while i was skateboarding and i was going like
Starting point is 01:02:32 felt like a hundred miles an hour i was probably going 10 miles an hour and uh yeah scary all right we got a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitch followed by our pitches then we're gonna do this guy rocks teach me something and then we're gonna do will and i going to do reggae songs that don't exist and party themes that don't exist he's not joking about any of that that's the truth sometimes i leave work early to do rover i love you that was all time i that she that was like she's one of the only people that would do that and it was like endearing she's her we were like that she lauren is so quirky no you were mad about it yeah i think probably um i think i was more just dumbfounded than anything
Starting point is 01:03:21 yeah that she would be because she would change our schedule she'd be like we have to cut the podcast short because i have a rover dog like that's not how this works i think she did the right thing when i worked at a golf course and i would get all the flags at the end of the day i used to like to like see how fast i could get the golf cart going and jump out of it and not eat shit but most of the time i just ate shit okay because you think you're not going that fast right golf cart and then you jump out of it and you like land but i guess you're like momentum momentum yeah what is it called inertia or something right yeah inertia it just like completely made me face plant oh in the grass but it was fun it was really really fun it was
Starting point is 01:04:03 kind of a gamble yeah buddy have you guys seen all this chanty beluga stuff yeah i love chanty beluga yeah i'm a big fan i like she recently was at one of those like trinket shops where you get your name on a license plate oh nice like hi my name is chanti beluga and i can't find mine anywhere that's awesome all right hello bulbasaur charmander and squirtle bulbasaur squirtle i'll be charmander my name is daniel and here is my pitch what is the worst part about being a sports fan like early in the season when you haven't been keeping up with trades or whatever and you say like something about a player who's no longer on the team anymore and then you look like an idiot because your friends are like he got fucking traded your teams are generationally bad and
Starting point is 01:04:46 you're not even from the place so it's like why did i just pick a different one uh sometimes your favorite players get hurt and now your whole season is derailed introducing take mine did your favorite player tear the acl did they break a bone in their hand now with our new take mine technology fans can offer to take the injury in place of the players say drake may were to tear as ACL with a small quick procedure we can harvest the ACL of a fan and put in Drake Drake's knee so that he doesn't even need to miss a drive not only would this be a way to keep the players on the field it would also be a way for fans to feel a new connection to the team obviously the fan that is taking on the injury would need to go through the rehab process and take mine
Starting point is 01:05:23 Willie Rusty and Andrew are not responsible for any added challenges to the fans life as a result of this new set injury i love it i would immediately give david stearns my brain that's matt's general manager is that okay yeah i it would be funny like a like not a season ending injury but like a one of those ones where the guy is never the same like in his head yeah some super fan has to just like when like demar hamlin was like fucking like some super fan gets cte or like i walk in with turf toe and i'm like ah yeah oh my god yeah your buddy your buddy comes in like not knowing anything i took drake's concussion um i love it drake concussion all right what is the worst part it's like a big wooden hammer hit his head it's like yeah
Starting point is 01:06:16 that's how drake will get it yeah he's got birds flying birds flying around uh yeah that's fantastic um what is the worst part about what's the worst part about um like corporate softball or like court like like the team you know when you play like a sport with your company you never make it out of like ever make it yeah sorry you never make it out of like the region there should be a little league world series for like oh that's a good idea so we can be watching like fucking like you know uh true value hardware store against like palantir yeah yeah yeah if we watch all the friday beers made it to the playing microsoft in the world series i would watch that if it was like fucking regular joes but the problem is it like wouldn't be it would somehow
Starting point is 01:07:07 be like all really good players well can you imagine somebody being like oh the pay is not very good but their softball team is not so i think it would be companies that like recruited for that yeah yeah exactly yeah it's like how like tbt is like technically anyone maybe it's like they have to we'd we'd somehow figure out like you companies have to like be small enough to so yeah it's like hire a team all the accountants have to have a cpa yeah that kind of stuff yeah and there's all about the cpas today all right i got one what's the worst part about parking when you're in a rush you can never find a spot can't find a spot this is an uber valet service so you just throw your car on somewhere with its hazards on and call the uber
Starting point is 01:07:51 valet and he just comes and finds your car that's so sick what does he do with his car he walks oh that's fantastic that actually i think there's a world where that could like be it's just like someone in the neighborhood is like i'll go park that guy's car 20 bucks that's so sick i love it yeah that's great or you could use it if you have like one of those like double parking spaces and your roommate has to get out you have to move your car yeah yeah oh yes yeah yeah yeah i still can't believe that we haven't figured out a way to like avoid that because we have that at my apartment where it's just every every uh apartment has two stacked spots like i don't know if we need to create some sort of like bridge system or whatever but that's just they do have things where you can
Starting point is 01:08:32 you can drive in and it lifts your car up and then you can park under. But then to get out, I still need it. Um, all right. I slacked you. My, this guy rocks, Andrew. Oh my God. This is all time. This is all time. This is a Mexican restaurant that they're fajitas. A bunch of people at the table order for you and they come out, smoke capital S smoking. We got the smoking fajitas in here.
Starting point is 01:08:59 I smell wood burning. Dad, are you back there? It's like gassing him. Did they put like lighter fluid on him? We got another order of smoking fajitas over here. Look at them smoking fajitas. Oh my god. They're kids coughing.
Starting point is 01:09:13 Oh my god, we're smoking fajitas. It also like, I can understand like, yeah, yeah, maybe one of them came out too hot. But like both of them coming out like that and the woman saying smoking fajitas makes me think this is a marketing thing. Yeah, it says in the caption that fajitas are covered in jalapenos making a pepper gas effect. Isn't this fucking madness? That's taking the embarrassment of ordering fajitas to the nth degree. Although that guy's dying out. I think it just starts crazy.
Starting point is 01:09:46 It's like the type of shit I accidentally order when I'm trying to be nonchalant for the night. Yeah, the type of shit when I'm high. This is another like what Drake gets at a Mexican restaurant. down there all right you can change your mind but you can't change mine all right i'm excited to see the boys oh okay i mean you know do you this was pissing me off i got my i got my two cents about this and if they're paying entry-level people this is yeah It's tough to work if I have to fold a beach chair. What you make now, then that's pretty bad.
Starting point is 01:10:33 And the bottom line is. I don't know. Every time I try to close a beach chair, I feel like a four-year-old baby. So I don't know if I just was like told this immediately. It's the armrest. You just grab the armrest and lift it up. That's what's locking it in. Got it.
Starting point is 01:10:49 and i honestly i think i didn't realize that or maybe i saw a different video there was one that like was not a sketch and it was i wanted to like give him a call like it's the armrest that's funny yeah all right that's good to know i yeah i don't know it is it we have these chairs that aren't quite like that though and i get so confused it needs to be a more intuitive uh method i feel that way about those beach tents you know that you put up or whatever i feel like i always feel like it's like jammed and then some other guy comes in and is like oh you just gotta do this and pushes it in like harder than me and i'm like i feel so emasculated that was like when we were walking out of uh my apartment for trivia like months and months and months ago and your friend
Starting point is 01:11:33 tried to open the door and it wouldn't let him and then i fucking pushed it there's like a sensor on the thing wait what it's max's buddy as well i was just with him i'm parker parker at his house We were at my house. We were leaving my apartment. It was after Star Wars. Oh, yeah. And he, like, walked directly into the door because it was, like, auto-locked. And you need to, like, wait for, like, the perfect...
Starting point is 01:11:56 Whatever, it doesn't matter. It's so embarrassing. I'm sorry, I'm missing something. I'm always like, ah, it's jammed. And then they're like... And I'm like... All right, hit us, Andrew. All right.
Starting point is 01:12:03 Is this your first ever This Guy Rocks? It might be. Let's go. Andrew's inaugural This Guy... Hey, has anyone... Has anyone seen all my Q-tips and cotton balls? I think I left them outside. I didn't see my pants.
Starting point is 01:12:14 Oh, no. should we watch it one more time hey has anyone seen all my q-tips and cotton balls i think i left them outside oh no where did you find that we have to play we have to play the the the age old game high or drunk you think you're neither that was like in the morning dude really over what was going on in the background who's my in their pants my friend fran with like she has like a cartoonish like like dude hate the impression but uh yeah i don't know they were laughing about something in the back we had dude that shit was so much fun that was like was that the mod that was the mods which is like the senior housing in bc and it was just like you had to do senior
Starting point is 01:12:59 housing we lived everyone lived on campus like well people move off junior year sometimes but like everyone always wanted to be on campus the mods were cool to visit like it having all your buddies in one place it was like a little town like neighborhood in the middle of campus oh townhouses with like yards and grills and like oh it was like smack next to the football stadium next to the classrooms next to the dining hall could you still like host parties and yeah you could drink and stuff and yeah that was why we moved out is because like we were just like we want to host parties we wouldn't be able to drink i only had one semester it was like the most fun day of my college when i like snowed yeah you know it was so funny i signed i got i had remember i
Starting point is 01:13:35 worked at landscaping yeah i had left and i was uh not doing that anymore and then i needed money so i got the job back and then like the next day he would like i emailed him on like a i emailed him knowing there was like a snowstorm coming the next day thinking like okay maybe i'll start this next week right and he emails me he's like great could you start tomorrow we need people with shovels at 6 a.m to start shoveling and everyone was so excited because it was like classes were canceled we're gonna have a huge snow day and so i was like i have covid and then he moment the next week and it was like are you back and i was like the snow i don't know the snow thing i was like that i can't yeah holy fuck that's hilarious but we had a great party that day it
Starting point is 01:14:18 was very we partied and we danced that was my i guess technically my junior year that's funny that was the best year of my life junior year that was so much fun better than this year no tied do you think that every year has gotten better of your life i think years that were great in the past are always more fun than the present because you only really at the end of the day if it was like a good year you kind of just remember the highlights that's why i'm kind of excited to start writing shit down because i'll look back and be like that was the greatest time ever and then i remember being like i remember not realizing it in the moment so clearly it wasn't like every day was euphoria yeah but that when i went back to college and then like met scott and like became
Starting point is 01:15:01 with friends of that crew did we that was that was whatever we went nuts all right would you guys like my teach me something yeah so you're familiar with travis barker the drummer yes you know how he was in that horrible plane the private plane crash i think he was like one of two people that survived whatever but so for obvious reasons he's like terrified of flying so i was like why how does he tour because they still tour he takes the queen mary to europe when they tour and it takes him nine days to get to europe isn't that insane like the boat in long beach the sorry the queen mary 2 so i don't know where it probably leaves from the atlantic side but wait can you google it takes a nine day like titanic style cruise over to uh over to europe to tour yeah
Starting point is 01:15:53 the queen mary ii luxury cruise ship wow he said it's pretty cool i really want to do that new royal caribbean where does it go it goes out of miami and i think it just hits like uh like the bahamas and stuff like that but it's like an entire city other joke like it's an old jimmy buffett it's all true the ones the ones that are like like proper jesus proper cruise ships kind of scare me to be honest um like that does not sound like relaxing icon of the seas that's what it is yeah i mean yeah that looks look at this bad boy fucking pandemonium like so crazy it's an entire city that is so on a boat crazy yeah like look is it mostly kids uh it's families got it it's mainly families yeah but uh i want to do like a boys trip on it sometime i feel like
Starting point is 01:16:50 low-key uh just like a spending time at like a nice resort would be yeah but then it doesn't get like really dark and scary at night it's a good point it's a damn good point yeah yeah it is terrifying to be on that thing in the middle of night because it's you don't see the water it's just pitch black outside i'm gonna be honest when we were i don't that's scary really i probably did i just don't remember i remember the one night like going up and hanging out on the deck and i thought it was kind of peaceful yeah when oh my god when the sun we also weren't super far from land at any given time i don't think um plus it doesn't brother it does not look like it gets too dark on that thing it was just a fucking disco ball it was like a floating
Starting point is 01:17:36 neato oh man yeah i'm gonna ride it one day you're gonna ride it i'm gonna ride it one day it's like sounds like you're gonna i'm gonna drive it one day it's like two thousand dollars to do it unfortunately it's like for how long a week how much is like a week vacation usually probably around there depends on where you go yeah if you're going to like mississippi no if you're going to like branson missouri this is true a little closer to branson mississippi do you ever teach me something really no andrew thoughts teach me something the icon of the seas is the biggest cruise ship thank you do you see how andrew brings things well i was gonna have one one second i got one wait no i have one i have one i have one i have
Starting point is 01:18:21 one i have one talking about shit did you know that there used to be all right let's do our draft do you want to do reggae songs that don't exist for us or party themes i want to start for party themes because i got one that's going to blow your nuts off these are even more party themes that don't exist fashionably late everyone dresses to the nines and you better not be there on time i'm talking you set the party for six maybe get there at eight nine whatever later the better and the better dressed the better fashionably late theme that's fucking awesome that's like my worst nightmare i hated hosting parties in college because like it's the worst time at a party is like the first 15 minutes when only like the first like one or
Starting point is 01:19:17 two people have shown up and you have to like entertain them the whole time yeah you know brutal agreed brutal um greed don't flask don't tell everyone brings a flask of a mystery liquor and you're like swapping them but the whole time you can never tell someone what it's going to be before they uh drink it and one of them's piss that's good x games it is skater themed everyone dresses like a 2000 skater and you bring a former lover as your date i used i had one called x games did you not that it was different it was i think a reality show right yeah maybe it was a reality show that's fantastic i like that a lot okay the easter keg cut that cut that cut that cut that the easter keg hunt across the house are mini kegs hidden everywhere and that's the only booze
Starting point is 01:20:15 of the party so if you want to get drunk you better get looking that's awesome thank you beer alarm if you're not holding the beer when the beer alarm goes off you gotta go home do you have to be like in the process of drinking it or just hold it i think it's like buffalo yeah eyes and ears couples are handcuffed together one's blindfolded one's wearing beats headphones they have to act as each other's eyes and ears that's awesome thank you I do, actually. That sounds really fun. That sounds, like, exhausting by the end of it.
Starting point is 01:20:46 Yeah. The bone leading to death. Four cores and seven beers ago. That's all I wrote. I don't know what that is. All right. That's fantastic. Should we do reggae songs?
Starting point is 01:20:57 Yeah. These are more reggae songs that don't... Sorry. These are more reggae songs that don't exist. Bong Too Long. It's about having weed to smoke, but your bong is way too long for your hand to reach, So he's trying all these different ways to get the bowl lit. I love that.
Starting point is 01:21:13 Thank you. Island tonight. It said, I'm coming to visit your girl and island tonight. But it's island. Can I sing that in that accent? Is that fine? Yes, of course. Island tonight.
Starting point is 01:21:25 Island tonight. The dread winner. It's about being in a roster relationship and one person makes a little more money than the other. I like that. Is that okay? Yeah. i feel like we're like sometimes we're not skittish about race at all and then other times we have no clue what is okay and flower in my soul's hole this is a love song where he says
Starting point is 01:21:50 that the girl oh girl you're the flower in my soul's hole deep down you're the flower in my soul's hole oh lord you're the flower in my soul am i losing you guys no you got me in the oh my god your soul's hole yeah deep down in your soul's hole not your whole soul rastafari safari it's about smoking a joint and getting out in nature and looking at the animal i love ya more than others oh i love ya more than others for some reason that was the one that felt wrong okay noted all right we love you guys i was in memorial for bob morrow when i next time i'll see you i will have i will be back from my trip so i love you uh and we will see you guys on monday peace out sorry about the empty shelves sorry about the empty netters guys i know that's you're
Starting point is 01:22:52 not hockey fans so you don't have to watch somebody robbed us before the episode that's why the shelves are this one robbed us which is why the empty netters aren't here so just Go watch their pod Also can I say one thing We did a fun little thing called The Sobers do you remember that It's coming out in a few weeks So stay dialed on the Friday Beers YouTube page
Starting point is 01:23:12 To watch us participate In a game of skill trickery And booze We love you

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