Will & Rusty's Playdate - the burger freak off part II
Episode Date: August 31, 2026SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/@playdatepod https://www.instagram.com/playdate.pod https://www.tiktok.com/@playdatepod Willy: https://www.instagram.com/willdonnellon https://www....tiktok.com/@willydonnellon Rusty: https://www.instagram.com/featherstonerusty https://www.tiktok.com/@rustyfeatherstone Andrew: https://www.instagram.com/andrew_nelson_ NEW MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/ PAID PARTNERSHIPS: herb@almostfriday.com GUESTS AND INQUIRIES ONLY: playdate@almostfriday.com SUBMIT YOUR BUSINESS PITCH HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdPHd7Ps9TaX-TOozyLhDpr9Y7pFNMP9PX7cHuLxap1R78GWg/viewform?usp=header SUBMIT YOUR AITA STORY HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdQElfqdQutn3dzl5HcZfey6YWhbVd-n6XE7FkpfosWZyYhyA/viewform?usp=sf_link SUBMIT YOUR CONFESSIONS HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSedx06Mo5EBt7WJAehTXwRoF3JzP0T7-kiDvYOphgxaPvtzKQ/viewform?usp=publish-editor SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: If you haven't tried Barebells yet, go to barebells.com to shop the full lineup and use code PLAYDATE for 15% off your order Use our code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*: https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/PLAYDATE10 Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $20 discount LUCY is the only pouch that delivers long-lasting on-demand flavor. Find a store at LUCY.CO/STORES or get it shipped with 20% off your first order at LUCY.CO/PLAYDATE using code PLAYDATE. 00:00 - intro 2:12 - our beef 11:49 - The Burger Freak Off II 23:44 - showing meat 28:07 - pigskin punishment 44:50 - flesh to flesh 1:02:34 - roadmap 1:04:15 - pitches 1:08:37 - this guy rocks 1:15:04 - teach me something 1:18:41 - party themes that don’t exist 1:20:52 - reggae songs that don’t exist #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod #RustyFeatherstone #WillDonnellon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
and we are rolling playdate episode 238 and of course my favorite 38 year old
um it's 240. shit is it really 240 my favorite 40 what happened to 239
you told me last episode i said it was 239 you're like no close i wanted to do danny woodhead
it's 240 have you ever gotten woodhead sucks you know danny would have blocked me on twitter
for i don't know i was like got in like a political argument with him back when i was
in high school is he a right-leaning gentleman he was just super anti-vax got it okay why what
was his what was his thought there i think he blamed that on why he was little really no i'm
kidding i don't know is he uh what is he five eight probably
as always played it is brought to you by bear bells rusty show me your bear bells
i think that if you played in the nfl on your five eight you can have any
opinion you can have any yeah you've been you've gotten ragged on enough you know who's 240 though
240 of course gandalf i want to say lee corso is 240 years old yeah
do your do it lead course of age what 91 close okay that counts 40 year old would a 40 with pat
tillman this is our pat tillman episode oh how can we not talk about family when family's all
that we got feels wrong why i don't know andrew you know about pat tillman of course yeah i think
he was from around where i grew up i think he went to like a neighboring high school yeah
because they used to throw this like a fundraiser for him every year it was like a car wash and
that's how i found out about him for some reason i just had the i just went to uh put my seat belt
on but we're not in the car that is really concerning in my hand i was like my seat belt's
not on but we're we're podcasting what the fuck am i talking about what you good though i've already
just i think i uh should we address it address what there's a little bit of beef right now a
bit of tension he's been on andrew i didn't mean to i didn't mean to he there was a thing that was
an ad read that was written and it mentioned the same thing like four times and i said well that's
not where it started that's not where oh this morning andrew asked a question that was a
completely normal question and i i like zoned out and tried to say it was like the kid in class who
asked uh can these be used to look at more complex data sets and willie and andrew got very upset
it was like a like a normal meeting analytical meeting and andrew had like a very valid question
the whole time he's asking you're looking over at me like like look at this fucking idiot i was
like what are you what are you this is a valid question i misread that i really prepared to
launch on him from the second he started talking i misread that i misread the and then when the
when you said everyone's just like what yeah i think i i misunderstood what he was saying
but i i feel horrible and then uh we're going to do an ad read and i usually the brands write
the ad reads yeah and andrew had written these unbeknownst to me and he had mentioned the same
thing like four times in it and i just said is this like their new big selling point and will
whispered to me andrew wrote these so i have just been uh accidentally throwing andrew into the
garbage disposal well you said it sucked and it was awful and whoever wrote it was evil
evils like like yeah but then he said like grew which you and then that and then i kind of came
back around to it that is the thing i will say for a supervillain not very evil right no no it's
hard to picture him ever being evil girl what is his bit what's his worst crime trying to steal the
moon well yeah when he stole the moon though that was he successful in the movie yeah i didn't know
or him and vector like kind of both do it or something but i was gonna say him stealing the
moon really changed the tides did you i was gonna say did you read that book in middle school where
rick van winkle close isn't that a alcohol that's happy van winkle but i believe it actually
jameson's i believe i believe it initially was called rick van winkle did you read that book
in middle school where like everyone's really excited because this asteroid was going to hit
the moon and then when it hit the moon the moon like moved a little bit and it caused all the
tides to shift and so there were like mass tsunamis in like all parts of the world and then like the
power grid went down and these people just like had to survive in their homes for a really long
time without power water food to kill a mockingbird jungle book it was kind of like it was like i
think it was called like 1984 is that what happens in 1984 wait what i this is a this was a book that
was like it was like yeah yeah yeah it was like a book we all had to read and except for i don't
know miss munkleroy assigned it to us so he's crank munkler like a harry harry potter professor
miss muckler professor munkleroy miss muckler she was awesome sure by the way oh thank you
for the video listeners says if this flag offends you it's because your team sucks got it it's a
joke shirt right because it has the flag of a team who sucks the cowboys haven't won anything
in our lives that's not true what i'm pretty sure they won a playoff round like a couple years ago
they won at least like five i'm pretty sure they got a buy in the playoffs yeah so what was that
something they won a super bowl i think it was like 96 oh with troy aikman um who i got to work
with nice for a while yeah i forgot he does um i never really got to talk to him he's always with
his kids and we had chargers uh not at the chargers it was when i was working in texas
i worked at this place that hosted his restaurant did he did he go to a&m
no uh this was like my summer wait i know where he went
the naval academy wait where'd he go you it was like a food hall yeah he owned a restaurant it
a burger restaurant not and i ran a social media page troy's why what were you thinking i just
thought maybe like a football pun or something oh that would have been fun wait he uh you ran
the social media for troy's what'd you post on it um i would do a lot of sketches i did a sketch
with a pizookie yeah that's awesome yeah yeah we did this like fun pizookie sketch and i needed
like a waitress to come like deliver post pizookie on main now yeah and then we would eat it in the
green room oh yeah good god jesus man troy's what you do with troy's bouzouki in your fucking
free time oh it's your own business what is a bouzouki i'm having to say that to one of our
producers that was all time all right keep moving keep moving i don't want to yeah no let's sit in
this moment nope all right wait i have a question there's nothing wrong with eating troy's bouzouki
on company time here's a question well it was taken away from her editor all right stop we're
moving on uh i have a question for you yes where did troy go to college can you pull up a bouzouki
at the same time yeah okay you've explained to me what a bouzouki is before right college
Pazookie
Michigan
UCLA
Wait he went to UCLA? No
University of Oklahoma
Oh he did go to UCLA
And Oklahoma
Okay now pull up a Pazookie
For Jackson
We've already looked this up
I just forget
Oh yes
Oh my god you guys would like tag team
A Pazookie in the back
well i would know that i know those parts are crazy i always want to eat pizookies like on
company time and the only way to get them for free is if we use them in a video so i used to
eat pizookie on company yeah that's the american dream so love that i would i would write these
sketches that involved a pizookie one way or another just so i could eat one still on the
after yeah they're still on the pages i mean i'd have to dig deep this was like back in 2018
um i got time but what was really funny was i needed a waitress for one of the sketches okay
and i was like just be a waitress and she would come up and every take she did she would be like
hi how can i help you and i'd be like just be yourself like you do this every day edge does
that too really like you get on camera and they would try and i can't remember the last time i
saw him they'd come into his office and he he turns into a different guy when you film him
have you ever filmed edge before well do you remember when we filmed with rick no you were on
the oh my god yes will and i are filming this mountain dew ad where we're like picking up
people and not on that tandem bike and uh we had our buddy rick get on the back he like helped
build it so we were like get on the back rick and he turned into like a madman he's like oh my god
i love mountain dew like screaming across the boardwalk oh arlington that's where the cowboys
play yeah yeah it was right outside go to reels it'll go quicker uh i don't know if it was a real
i don't think reels existed back in 2018. i think i'd have to go to videos but are you in them are
you kind of this yeah of this i'm in like all of them he's like uh is troy's a relatively uh
successful pizookie shop uh that's a good question i don't think it was well i mean when i was on the
social media course it was popping yeah like we had reservations like years in advance okay um
but then when someone else took over i just are other people are other places making pizookies
uh no it's just troy's burgers did he come up with the name pizookie yeah oh oh i mean i just
thought you meant in the actual like a restaurant place um no uh pizookies are like a thing like
bj's does um do you not remember having this conversation i do i was like bj's that was what
we talked about the last time we talked about got it okay all right let's see what you're on
sorry i didn't mean to come at you for not knowing bj's i didn't mean to come on you for not knowing
how to do bjs so it's like a live music place too yeah they would also do country artists every
wednesday night and they did um girls night on thursday it's pretty fun you would flip a coin
and uh if you called it right then you would get free dinner whoa yeah for the whole table
profitable no we had to end the promotion like a month and really people were winning too often
Yeah, you'd think it'd be like 50-50, but it was like 75-25.
I don't know.
I'm so hungover.
I am never drinking again.
Do you want to go get a marg?
Obviously.
So Edge saw this and said, we've got to get this guy on our team.
How did you get hired here, Andrew?
Did you apply or did they find you?
They find one with you in it.
I don't know if there are any.
Were you even in any, man?
I don't know.
Now I'm starting to question.
Did you not have the acting chops, to be honest?
I guess not
I thought I was like
I thought I was like
the man of this page
you think they took it all down
after they found out
about the burger freak off
oh my god
Will asked me
I wanted to do another
burger freak off today
and he said no
I said we should do
a hot dog freak off
I just think the burger freak off
has been done before
can y'all let us know
if you'd be open to
a hot dog freak off
and if
the problem is
I kind of want to do
the burger freak off again
to see how far
like if I can get further
i i will say you i mean you've started working out since then and you i was also thinking hear
me out on this what if we sip open submissions for playmates to submit videos of them throwing
a cheeseburger on a football field and if anyone can break break my score we'll fly them out for
the burger freak off what was it is it okay that we say freak off yeah yeah all right can we talk
about the burger freak off yeah yeah sorry do you remember that andrew i was not there have you
heard about it but that was pa that was pre-andrew well yeah lauren was a part of it for ba but i
guess i just figured she was just there maybe that was like one of the last do you think that
happened and then she was like she she saw you in a romantic sense i mean after you threw a burger
50 yards she was like i have what was it like 47 yards it was a cheeseburger i don't even know if
i could throw a football it was for i will say and i know you could do it again the wind caught it
perfect you threw it up and it like flutters like a frisbee yeah i'm just saying andrew i think what
what do you think about this what if we did burger freak off part two yep we got playmates from all
across the world to submit a video of them throwing a cheeseburger and tag us and whoever
throws it the furthest we bring out and we all compete head-to-head in a burger freak off
that would be great are we paying for their flights out here that's what flying out yeah
where are they going to stay are we going to like stay with jack they could stay with me yeah okay
yeah or we fly to them okay yeah i uh i'm down here's the thing i think we i think i went uh
backhand last time and i think i want to go forehand this time you gotta go forehand this
way oh yeah i was sorry i was doing it forehand i think i want to do back oh okay i threw mine
yours was like uh yours was like when the space or when the rocket like leaves the yeah the shuttle
like the but you threw it up in like the bun and ketchup like left it was so just the cheese and
patty obviously i remember what started the burger freak off right for the playmates that
don't i honestly don't remember i don't remember at all really i think i think like a running joke
that we talked about like how far could you throw a cheeseburger and someone called it the burger
freak off and we like talked about for like six months and then i think maybe it was because
lauren was leaving we're like we have to finally do the burger freak off and then it's on our
where is it it's online so i mean you google burger i have the footage on it it's on our
server here's what here's my proposal for burger freak off 2.0 we do the barbecue olympics so
the burger freak the burger freak off is the discus obviously okay the hot dog is the javelin
i just don't want to like remove the sanctity of the burger freak off
it's beautifully perfect that was what it was you told me i think i can throw a cheeseburger
30 yards that's what it was that's how it started i told him i could throw
these cheeseburger 30 yards and he said no way blew it out of the water
are we mic'd up yeah i remember like
oh my god
patty patty that's a patty that's a patty 49 yards wow 50 would have been a nice little
vindicated i was right i was right
He is correct that the frisbee method is the best way to do it.
His, like, catch this, like, up.
Saying the exact same thing.
Yeah.
Wait, who's the other cameraman?
I don't know.
Apparently, we put, like, a ton of production into this.
Wow.
That's awesome.
You threw a cheeseburger.
You might be, I mean, can you Google what's the furthest someone's thrown a cheeseburger?
I'm sure you hold the world record.
Yeah.
What if it's like a mile?
There's no official recognized world record.
Maybe tell it.
I mean, look, the first thing that comes up is our video.
We'll broke the world record.
You guys got to do this again.
I think I'm down.
Can I do something direct to camera?
Is that camera on me, Andrew?
In 2024, I threw a cheeseburger 49 yards,
and that record has still never been beaten.
So we're having a second Burger Freak-Off
and we want one of you to be part of it.
So playmates, go to a football field,
throw a cheeseburger.
It's got to be with the buns on it
and you measure it by how far the meat goes.
You have to throw it with the buns,
but the measurement is just based on how far the meat goes.
If you can beat 49 yards,
we will fly you out to California
and let you participate in the second ever Burger Freak-Off.
see you soon imagine a guy like driving we'll fly into california fuck it really can't we
we gotta have a budget for that yeah i mean economy we can get them there we get them
economy yeah we're not you know we're not flying them out and they have to throw a burger 50 yards
to be able yeah oh my god there's someone's gonna do it okay yeah someone's definitely
gonna do 49 yards also it was 2025 not 2024 wait you've only been doing this for a year
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
All right, let me start again then.
Let me try one more.
In 2025, I threw a cheeseburger 49 yards,
and that record has never been beaten.
So now it's time to host the second annual Burger Freak-Off,
and we want one of you to participate.
So please, go to a football field, bring a cheeseburger,
throw it with the bun on,
and measure it based on how far the patty goes.
If you can throw it more than 49 yards,
we want to bring you out to L.A. for the second ever Burger Freak-Off.
if multiple people break 49 whoever throws it the furthest on video unedited you're getting an
invite to the second ever burger freak off right here in california good luck i'm excited i'm very
excited and then you can like splice in some of the footage of that and you're the uh yeah i mean
i i know a playmate's gonna do it yeah so that'll be fun it's gonna be awesome i i still think there
should be a javelin event with with any type of hot dog or sausage you want yes okay fine
and for this year we are adding an event the javelin hot dog whoever can javelin throw a
hot dog with the bun but measure it based on where the dog lands the tip the tip lands the furthest
will also get an invite maybe maybe i don't know if we have the budget for that yeah start with the
burger but then we'll add the javelin yeah okay what other events could there be the ice cream
derby what if they're on like a mini football field so it looks like it's 50 yards but i think
if they have that if they can if they can do i think we'll be able to tell what's a real
if you cheat you're a loser what if they're like a small person like on a small football field so
are these a fit is this a thing we need to be worried about are there small football fields
i think people could make like dioramas you know and make it look like it's like a tiny ant size
yeah yeah yeah okay one second say no dioramas if you want to participate post the video on
either tiktok or instagram tag playdate pod and use hashtag burger freak off
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geek let's get back into the episode i'm leaving for maine tonight maine tonight ohio tomorrow
that was a song i was working on maine tonight ohio tomorrow yeah i like it i like it what what
what are you most excited for doing on the flight uh i'm gonna i'm probably gonna sleep it's a it's
it takes off at 11 59 and you're gonna connect somewhere gotta connect through minneapolis
so you'll get to minneapolis like four in the morning i think i will be there yeah at a time
that doesn't exist yet um but i'm very i'm very very excited to get over there so i brought some
i've had this stack of clothes that don't fit but i want to keep them that i've been meaning to take
to the tailor forever and i finally did it last week and i'm gonna pick them up after this and
most of them were like new clothes that i got in the mail that just didn't totally fit right but
then one was a hoodie that i really like that's always just been way too big but it's worn in
like it is clearly an old hoodie and when i came out of the dressing room wearing it one of the
seamstresses looked at the other guy and was like why is he tailoring that yep i didn't even know
You can tailor like old shit like that. You can tailor like t-shirts. I know guys that like get them get them fitting, right?
Well, yeah, can you tell her like your nutsack if it's like too droopy?
You get a nut lift with all the holes in your shorts. I know you don't have that problem. Do these have a hole?
Oh God, do they that did you like flatten them? So I'm gonna have this going on large on the forum large penis support
Yeah
Yeah, Oh Lordy. Oh my do you think that wait, can you look up our large penis burger? I wouldn't find it
every time i google featherstone large penis support group oh god because i bet i wonder
if there's been comments like holy shit they talked about us oh true i didn't even think
about that yeah i wonder it's kind of shocking that there's anyone that would uh do you have
like safe search on anyone that would touch maybe put lpsg oh fuck they talked about this thread on
today's episode of the pod i don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing lol i haven't been on
here in forever but i had to log in just to see it for myself and he's got a picture oh my god
that guy joined he's a legendary member he joined in 2006 this has been going on since 2006 maybe
not i would hope our page hasn't wait this is cool you can put yourself on the spectrum of like
how gay versus how straight you are like as one percent 99% gay 1% straight oh my god this person
is asexual 99 gay 1 straight oh my what would you guys say you are 80 20 i don't like i is the
percentage of like how much you want to have sex with a guy um no i think it's percentage of how
gay you are i don't think i'm i don't know wait how do you become a platinum gold member
uh i can show you later bro joined during quarantine yeah this guy joined may 11 2020
during quarantine yeah oh god does this make you like think about the things that you post now
it's actually not the worst photo of my body so i'm fine with it uh it makes me think about that
there's someone who's probably jacked off to us which is kind of shocking i think that's kind of
sweet yeah i kind of like that do you think more do you think more men or women have masturbated
to this this website or just us i don't think there's any women oh i don't think there's any
women on this site okay all right i guess i'd rather i mean i'd definitely rather a woman
than a man thinking about me during that but i'm happy for them that they're able to do that
but this cracks me up because this is like an ad oh yeah they're
put in my username ambassador yeah they'd screenshot of my airbnb ad and put it on yeah
that's kind of crazy um that's funny man i mean they got some good wait what is vpl
some good old-fashioned vpl
god i don't i'm like learning about this against my will or typed what is into google what is vpl
visible panty line what do you know there is not panty click on the fucking photo i don't have any
vpl you gotta log in if you want the vpl for the record those that bathing suit has a liner
there's no underwear in there so that's impossible all right here's a question okay
visible penis line maybe andrew oh got it could be like the male version uh it could be ventral
Posterolato nucleus
Do you see Rusty's ventral
Posterolato nucleus
Andrew how far do you think you could throw a cheeseburger
Depends are we talking feet
Yards meters
Like what system are we doing
Yards
You can actually give it to us in any
And we can translate
I feel like Andrew
Might be pretty he's pretty strong
But I obviously have the technique
Down to it
yeah i'm also not familiar with burgers at all i think i just like wouldn't know my way around it
yeah got it got it which would are you not do you not eat them a lot i do but like i'm not
throwing them often right i feel like you guys this is will's this is will and i's first time
as well can i put that neato um i think i could get it 49 yards and an inch you're a dick you're
dick bag i stinky how do we feel about practicing for the burger free cough like can i go to sam
ohio myself and practice i got a question yeah with fantasy football coming up okay um last year
to do our order we had to shotgun a beer and then run a 40 and the combined time oh for the company
one uh oh we did do it for the company one was a chug a beer and then run no the company one was a
your your pop time as a catcher on a baseball field we all went to a that was for a could be
the move video but then for the friday beers video we chugged a beer oh you're right a 40 uh no this
was for my friend group okay um so i did it on a football field but what what do you guys think
your time would be if you had a shotgun a beer and then run a 40 well i think i can probably run
a 40 we did it last year right but it was chug you chugged it i think a shotgun you'd be faster
i think like yeah definitely i could do i could probably run 40 yards i could probably do a 40
like five and some change i think i got like alignment speed and then i can probably shotgun
a beer in two and a half seconds so if you add a second for like uh the transition maybe
eight nine seconds yeah i have no idea i i 10 i think i didn't what didn't i do in like 10 seconds
or i don't really remember we also did on the beach yeah that was hard running in like slow
motion yeah yeah we all did it on all right have you done yours yet this year um i have not i think
this year we're going to base it on edward 40 hand times i like that so we're going to vegas next
week nice and uh we're on the first night i think we're going to do edward 40 hands whoever finishes
those first good first pick of whatever order they want in the fantasy you're you're like you're
you're doping a little bit though because you got extra room because of your hernia
and you can fit like i know that's true hopefully they don't hear the episode know about the hernia
wait did you go to the doctor or tomorrow i go tomorrow but um before we do that i have to do
my fantasy football punishment oh you came in last i came in last last season damn i've never
so i have to split the g of a guinness five times in a row like consecutively like days
so once a day like i have to split the g and if i hit it then like next day try to hit it and i
have to do it basically five days in a row i mean that could take all year it could take all year
i'm thinking about documenting so you just have to start it so you're just gonna have a get you're
probably just gonna have a guinness every day for the next like couple years yeah until i hit
but you don't have to finish it um the guinness you're not gonna start one and not finish it
though i feel like if you're doing it every day you'd have to i mean i could drink one guinness
a day that would kill me right you don't want to do that no i mean i'm definitely gonna get tired
of the taste of it but i'm thinking about documenting it do you think that would i think
you should yeah document it yeah i'm thinking that would be fun yeah that would be fun and just see
if i can do it five days in a row because like imagine how brutal it'd be to do to do it like
four days in a row yeah and then miss on the fifth how are you defining splitting the g
the line it has to be exactly on the line it's never i don't think it's possible five days in
a row no way the pressure would get to you i think you i think you will max max be able to
string together three days i think split the g should be in between the line and then the little
line above it like on the g within that little gap in the g that is what it is right no he's
on the line on the line of the g i don't even know if i've ever done that i might always just
wait what do you consider it just that little space and i've heard it both ways that's what i
was oh i i even know guys that are just like just get it in the g that yeah i've heard in the g i
think that's lame so you guys hit it in that little gap between oh yeah between the the top
and the bottom of the g yours has to be touching the i mean that's like in the line that's i mean
That's like next level good at drinking beer.
So I've been practicing.
I've been practicing.
Are you getting pretty good?
I'm getting pretty good, and I can tell because the glasses I have
have Guinness on the front and the back.
Yeah.
So I can tell from where I'm drinking it where I need to stop it.
Okay.
And then get right there.
Mine is two big gulps, one half gulp.
Usually gets there for me.
One half gulp.
Okay.
But I don't want to get in your head.
Yeah.
Mine's three big gulps, spit half back in.
so same who was the guy that posted uh it was willie that was really no someone else copied
it and got like way more views are you serious yeah oh wait you made that i made a video like
a year ago with my buddy where he it was his idea it was my buddy will who i did videos in
college with where like he goes too far and then he goes and fills it back up to the line does he
like ever think about pursuing entertainment like i think it's so funny that like you have this job
no i mean like the i'm shooting a sketch tomorrow that i wrote that was like an idea we had in
college and stuff and like i've been texting with him about it and like he's stoked about like
nice i think he's happy i mean he's doing really well for himself and that's good what does he do
now accountant nice but he has cpa uh yeah right or what why is that funny i just thought it was
funny i don't know i thought that was a good question i was just curious if he has a comedy
that was a funny that was a funny question i don't know i i don't i think you have to right
yeah i think that they're they allow a couple years after graduation where you don't have the
cpa but like to make real money yeah he might be like so it's like getting like you're pretty high
he's like doing well at a big four okay what is he at what firm is he at i can't tell you
because you don't know or it's confidential no because if i told you it would blow our
he would get fired actually yeah if it's like one of those firms or if you say the name it's
like voldemort where he gets fired got it got it my buddy became a lawyer um this year and all of
his uh trials are live streamed what isn't that awesome wait where on the government website
like the state website so you can just go log on so he'll like he'll be like yo boys going to battle
yeah yeah yeah going to trial in two hours like here's the link here's like the password and
there's like a live chat in there too so you can be like chatting with your boys and um he was
like spamming like w and he makes a good point yeah yeah exactly and he can't see the chat though
right i don't think so no but he can like check it like during their like recess i've always
wondered why some trials so it's like up to the discretion of the judge whether or not they're
going to televise it so when you watch like the johnny depp one or like the oj thing whatever
like that's because the judge says that it could be televised what is the benefit of it being
televised like wouldn't that only be wouldn't that only bring negatives to the case i think
most could be i think like it's more that they have to go out of their way to prevent it from
it i think it's like i don't know the judge is trying to pivot into more of an influencer space
yeah that's how judge judy got yeah yeah it's good for him or it's like it's good for his
portfolio judge be looking good that day right can i tell you something yeah what if there was
a homeless guy who played small ball like a baseball team does and he focused on a bunch
of little hits instead of overvaluing big ones is he doing this via diorama or no like little
hits of like crack oh oh he's playing small ball yeah he's really good at like play small really
good at rationing yeah he does like a bunch of little hits and focuses on accumulating little
hits rather than overvaluing big ones like i think that could work i think that could work
is that how so do you think most homeless guys have a strategy with the drugs no it's kind of
just run and gun yeah no uh interesting okay i don't know i don't know you ever seen the
there's a documentary on the internet called like mother god or something no i don't know
kind of dylan's been watching it so i've been kind of watching what's it about it's about this
lady who like has a cult nice yeah do you remember rage comics no it'd be like lay me you don't
remember these wait say it again it'd be like lay me in my room watching tv lay me yeah it was like
french like lame news like these man you remember these kind of oh from like i funny yeah yeah yeah
what is it rage comics but what it was like it came out in the paper uh no i think it was just
on ifunny got it um but there was one that never had ifunny there was one i thought you would have
loved ifunny never i funny was right up your alley um oh like mother of god yeah yeah that's
when you said mother god that's what i thought of i was featured on ifunny no way yeah what'd
you post do you know the concept of ifunny it was like memes i guess right yeah it was like
but they would choose 20 memes a day to post on like the main page got it so every day you were
looking forward to like what 20 memes were going to be posted and then you would talk about them
with all your friends they were cash and they were so funny and like if you were featured like
that was like a big deal because that meant like millions of people were seeing you're like me
right or whatever what was your um mine was there was a photo of a washing machine that was like do
not touch will loves it already and there was like a post-it note of patrick being like touch
from the spongebob episode okay they're like don't touch anything and he like keeps touching things
and then another was literally we had this exact scenario this weekend when we were on the beach
with our excavators and like the excavator would fall over and we try to lift it with another
excavator that one would fall yeah i had like photos of like them trying to pull this excavator
out of the water and then that falling in and then a bigger excavator coming in and then that
one falling in and a bigger one and so on and so forth that's fun and those two got featured um
and it was a really big deal because then like once you got featured people would make like edits
for you of you like getting featured so your profile photo would be like um would be like
feature balls that were like um do you remember uh dragon balls remember you know how dragon
balls always have like the star on them i'm learning i learned so much from you but what
his dragon you know dragon balls like they had these little like like dragon ball z yeah yeah
um oh the z helped you yeah i've heard of that but i don't know what it is and so they they have
these like clear balls or whatever and so people would make edits like with these clear balls but
they would have like the feature symbol on them and you you could like do them in different shapes
so based on the number of times you've been featured you could have like these feature balls
in your profile picture and people would do these edits like for free so they just asked me to send
them like a photo of me like holding two balls and i would okay i would say you guys andrew you
are losing me right now i don't know what the fuck you're talking about i've already i already
used both my bullets on tearing andrew down earlier yeah so i was like i'm just gonna let
this right so you had people on the internet ask you to send you a picture of you holding two
holding two balls and then they would like photoshop them to be like feature balls and
then that was my profile i feel like there's a world where maybe they photoshopped you doing
other things and that was a cover there was a guy that sent back and and the two balls were his
dragon ball is even real or is that just a show that oh but we'd always message on kick did you
guys ever use kick as a kid never oh my god we were on kick for like a week or so like there
was like a brief period before like i message came out or like for some reason we were all
communicating on that and i think it word got around to our parents that that was where kids
were like getting like molested over the internet so they were just groomed i never i didn't have a
phone until high school and i feel like a lot of this was like middle school yeah yeah yeah middle
school you i think it probably i would have been frustrated if i was not allowed to have like tv
or a phone until high school but i think it probably did a lot more good for you than i
don't know what i was missing i went to a really small middle school too so it was just that common
that kids didn't have phones and stuff yeah it just wasn't a big deal i don't know yeah there
were 13 kids in my grade so it wasn't like before i had one like a pervasive like culture it was
just kind of like i never knew you were you the coolest kid out of the 13 either me or brooks
rowley probably there were kind of two schools of thought yeah you had your brooks heads for sure
but yeah brooks are our best friends but we like would hate we would like getting huge fights we
like hated each other but loved each other that was like what did you guys fight back then because
we like both wanted to be like the center of attention and stuff and so like i don't know
we were like he was like my boy but then sometimes i'd like want to kill him you also just spend so
much time together when you're kids that age like i remember i would get in screaming matches i'm
actually gonna see him in like a couple days no my my buddy that i would get in fights with him
was like now if i was fighting with a friend that much we just wouldn't be buddy yeah or we wouldn't
fight you also i think it it also comes from like 70 of the time you're spending hanging out with
them is doing something like competitive yeah i was like always like competing in sports like
scratch you in pool basketball and then you like oh my god that same kid his mom imagine dunking
the eight ball or something or what's pool basketball his mom went out of town for like
two weeks and we were very into pool basketball at the time and he turned the pool up to 90 like
did not realize how expensive it was to like heat a pool it was like almost like hot tub temperature
and left it that way for two weeks and his mom came back and it was like
it was the most amount of i can't remember the exact number but it was it was a number that
to us was and probably still would be like an ungodly amount of money terrifying i left my
stove on for two weeks one time it's fun or on how well where uh in college which like
it's kind of weird because yeah because remember notice the stove was on for two weeks i kept
hearing this clicking sound oh just the gas was it just a gas or the fire was there fire there
was no fire so maybe just a gas you're just leaking gas i mean were your windows open how
did you not die i don't know that's a good question maybe you did i noticed this clicking
sound and it had been like raining for the last few days so i kind of thought it was just like
from the rain like rain droplets were dropping from the window oh and then finally i was like
wait what is that because we never cooked in our our college home ever and um this one day i
happened to cook but i gave up halfway through and i just forgot to turn off the stove okay and uh i
eventually was like this clicking is driving me nuts let me go check it out and it turned out to
be the stove and our uh our utility bill was really high i don't know how you didn't die
that's like gas leak is like the easiest way to yeah right not the easiest suicide
oh truck uh truck drives through the wall anvil falls from the sky sign style what's sign style
in the movie signs mel gibson's wife gets like pinned to a wall by a truck oh it is oh my god
there was a hurricane coming at our college house my senior year nice and we're all sitting there
watching tv and one kid was sitting like up on the this part of the couch and sat back and his
ass went through the window and it was the hurricane was an hour and a half away and so
we were just sitting there like oh man this is really gonna be like the place to hunker down
and i think we just like put a trash bag up and we called our landlord he's like no one can come
fix it yeah in an hour hurricane ass window dude it was one of those ones where it was like that
you could not have picked a worse place for your ass i said that like that's a come on you're
saying it was one of those times where you go now that's a bad place for your ass i know exactly
what you're talking about i've been there yeah man what's the worst place your ass has been
should we tell them nelson's but you guys went you guys went asked we were changing in for one
of the shoots and we both bent over at the same time we like faced away from each other and our
asses just yeah is that true yeah what are the fucking we were putting on those like alien suits
or whatever for one of the who's high things i didn't think we'd ever talk about it we were in
like the back bar area let me shine like let's just phase away from each other and we both bent
over in our bare butts i think i'm getting hold i actually completely forgot am i getting hold
i never forgot holes and then stanley yelmats yeah which one of you is zero in this scenario
we both are in some way
you gotta hold
i had a feeling i had a feeling i've never gone ass to ass with andrew i don't i mean when was
last time when was the last time your bare ass was on another person's ass like tiktok when you're
like tiktok tiktok time where like you both like if you're like with a girl and you like roll over
yeah i was gonna say oh maybe yeah three weeks ago probably ass to ass bare ass to bare ass
when i was in college i had not been able to get over the like i just was not comfortable being
naked around people uh and i remember my girlfriend at the time finally brought it up
where she was like if we were like in bed and i had to go to the bathroom i would like put my leg
out and like grab my boxers off the ground and like pull them back up like put my box on like
under the sheets and then get up and go to the bathroom she's like we've been dating for like
a year and i've never seen your butt have you gotten over that one thousand percent oh you're
showing butts to everyone left i'm not really getting uh you haven't seen his butt yet you
just ain't been looking yeah you ain't been looking brother but i mean that makes it seem
like i'm i'm just showing it to anyone around town i'm definitely definitely selective about
who sees my bum sure can i go to the bathroom please this episode is brought to you by lucy
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nicotine is an addictive chemical let's get back into the episode should we road map it up i have
a question hit me who is shane dawson shane dawson was a popular youtuber back in the day that uh i
really enjoyed uh his sketches when i was a young boy because they were really raunchy and out there
like he would make fun of degrassi and they were like next level kind of crazy time for me why drink
there kind of yeah kind of like that there i remember he made like an ass burgers joke one
time and it was like ass literally like burgers came out of his butt covered in poop like it was
right up my alley when i was like seven and uh and i was not supposed to be watching that and
i think that's like what the appeal of it was like this is very very naughty and then i andrew correct
me if i'm wrong he what or don't correct me if i'm wrong fill in the gaps here what uh
he committed some sort of sex crime he made a joke about having sex with his cat
that's it that's uh that's why he got canceled i think it was can you google it i think there
might have been something a little more intense uh why do you ask did he come up he just came up
of my feet while i was peeing shane dustin was canceled due to uh public backlash over
cumulative history of offensive and inappropriate content this included resurfaced clips of him
using blackface racial slurs making jokes about pedophilia and inappropriately sexualizing minors
such as an old clip involving an underage willow smith i did forget about the blackface part i
I thought he was doing Indian face in the Degrassi thing,
but I guess it could have been a black woman.
Horrible stuff.
He made a movie called Cancelled.
He did?
Looks like it.
How did it do?
Oh, I forgot about Jeffree Star.
Jeffree Star was awesome.
There were a couple crazy people on the internet back in the day.
back in the day you ever watch um david dobrik yeah i liked i watched david dobrik for a long
time yeah i was kind of kidding i was trying to say like someone obviously you know the uh the
our cahill told me today that i remind him of uh jake weber who is another like old school
youtuber but i thought he was like emo so i don't know if that was me too yeah i don't know what
Yeah, that was kind of a confusing comparison.
Is he old school?
I thought he was like new school.
What?
I thought he was new school.
Is he old school?
I don't know.
I thought he was old school.
I went to a...
You went to a new school?
That was the name of my school.
New school?
Yeah.
When?
The new school.
When?
From pre-K through sixth grade.
It was called the new school.
Were you the first guy to go there?
No.
Still around?
Is it now the old school?
No.
the middle school it's still called new that's how why it's called middle school it's schools
who have been around for just the right just the right amount and then high school is like
it's so for stoners yeah yeah isn't that funny though yeah why would they call it that i think
it was had to have been temporary and then they were like i think that's what happened it's like
we're in 2d it also kind of sounds cool i like it i'm on board with it i think there's a college
called that in new york too i went to apple tree really yeah apple tree where'd you go andrew
elementary school kindergarten uh shady grove what about kindergarten shaded grove i mean
shady elementary shady grove that's a good one what about elementary pond shady grove okay it
was kindergarten yeah middle you know what's interesting though is um my elementary school
didn't go to fifth grade like we stopped at fourth grade yeah and then we had intermediate
school which is fifth and sixth grade and then we had middle school which is seventh and eighth
and then we did high school nine through twelve we had all four so first through fourth fifth
through eighth ninth through twelfth i went i went maiden cove apple tree pond cove they kind
of they kind of went hard on those names cape elizabeth cape elizabeth rollins i went which
my dad did the exact same route but just like 30 years prior and we had the same with the same
preschool teacher can you imagine that that's having a kid having a kid as your student at
like 30 or 40 and then when she was like 70 she has that kid's child that's got to be a fucking
yeah that would really like blow my mind i would just i think she really enjoyed it i think she
just that was she was like put on earth to be like a caregiver yeah she was the you know you
know when old ladies have like soft hands when you're a baby and they're like holding you she'd
like oh my god like i'm traction drop me you know what i'm talking about yeah oh yeah yeah buddy i
feel like i would just be in like this like world where time has just stopped because you're
constantly dealing with like the same grade like same age of kids every day i see what you're
saying you're teaching the same thing yeah every year yep that i would just think like i'm getting
older but like nobody else is if that makes sense yes yeah i think that would be trippy if you taught
the same grade yeah of children too not like high school because high schoolers you're at least
seeing other people if you're if you go to a kindergarten every day yeah for multiple multiple
years and the kids just stay yeah the same and now you're having your students kids would be
super trippy i don't know how she did i would have like a fucking crisis but i think it's beautiful
maybe i would feel like it's like groundhog's day just every day we also she said we looked
many people said we looked very very similar to so i think that would be trippy like holy i had
that like with my older brother and sister i'm sure you had that yeah sisters where it was like
all the teachers would be like oh my god you're sam's brother yeah yeah yeah and uh i can never
live up to yeah the sister before me was was very very serious academically and so i think that that
honestly made it worse i always hated that because i felt like i couldn't like prove myself
like the bar was always like at the top for me was your older sibling really both of them both
of them really smart very smart very successful and so they just already kind of put me in that
category yeah and i never got to like prove that like i'm also really smart because they're just
like oh your siblings are smart you're definitely are you were you good at school i did well in
school yeah yeah i think i was like that i was like they brought in the closer for the night
yeah you were mario i think i was the best student of the three of us oh really at least at that
point yeah are the best pitchers the closers well they're best for like a short amount of time i
know i was gonna say i thought they just had like a fresh arm yeah i can't i mean usually they can
like throw really hard and they can they just like don't have like the last thing they can't
pitch like a lot of innings it's just like a different skill set honestly okay what are your
siblings do now andrew my sister does political documentaries and then my brother um works for
microsoft well i don't think i knew your sister what kind of political documentary she works for
um pbs oh so they're like they're left-leaning uh political documentaries nice over things like
they're gonna lose all their funding are they is she worried about that is pbs losing on their
they've like threatened to cut it yeah i think they were talking about that recently and i only
heard parts of the conversation so i i'm not 100 sure i thought they get it all from like donations
No, it's a government, PBS.
I mean, I think they also solicit donations.
We would get, like, water bottles and fucking tote bags and stuff.
Because if you donate, they send, like, a gift.
Yeah, I mean, I think they all...
But they get some...
They were created by the government, I think, right?
Maybe.
Gotta be, right?
I think it's, like, a Fed...
But now any sort of, like, state media that is not aligned is kind of...
The first progress was Julia Child's The French Chef.
Really?
Very, very fun.
yeah i guess it's a public broadcasting service oh my god they started like right after the moon
landing they were probably like fuck we could have or they saw they thought it was this was
gonna be a regular thing yeah they're like oh we'll get we're gonna start this we'll just be
kind of the home of the moon landing yeah the only thing i remember from pbs was like
what was that bear show bernstein bears uh that was a book right i think they might have a show
I think it was like...
Cocaine Bear.
It was close to that.
Every day before school, I'd watch Cocaine Bear.
Wasn't, like, Arthur on PBS?
Arthur was on PBS.
Martha Speaks was on PBS.
Martha Speaks was goaded.
You would like Martha Speaks.
I don't know that.
It was about a dog who ate alphabet soup, and then she could talk.
That's awesome.
Isn't that great?
Like, the letters got into her...
Oh, yeah.
Bear necessity.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wait, it was Bear in the Big Blue House?
There was one...
That was on Disney.
uh oh there was one about uh maybe it started on these kids that had to go through space and
there was like an evil meet the robinsons no there's like an evil guy that would try and stop
them and they had to do like math to get out of it and he had like pens in his shirt and uh
i remember that one was a trip dragon tales oh my god dragon tales dragon tales right come on up
it's dragon tales can you google dragon tales i haven't thought about that fucking dude dragon
tales was so sick i haven't talked about that father holy thought about that i hope our kids
yes yeah dude i hope our kids have shows like this you know what show i love whoa veggie tales
veggie tales is a good one um land before time the tv show i haven't seen it you haven't seen
it i feel like i've heard of it but oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh my god i forgot about that this
was a great show wow wait what was the wasn't wasn't VeggieTales like there was
some like hidden it was a exclusively Christian thing got it I as a kid also
did not clock any of it yeah Clifford Clifford was gas too oh yeah I thought
you meant it was Christian too Clifford was Christian I think Clifford was
Protestant his big red ass was Lutheran I love this one show and I only remember
one episode of it but it was baby Looney Tunes it was all the Looney Tunes
characters but they're oh and they lived in like a home or something yeah and there was one episode
where they all wake up and they have like crust in their eyes and they're like how did we get all
this crust in our eyes and somebody was like oh every night the sandman comes and he like yeah
puts a little bit of sand in your eyes every night when you're sleeping and so they're like okay we're
all going to take shifts throughout the night and we're all going to stay up and we're going to wait
for the sandman to come and we're going to stop putting sand in our eyes and one of the guys ends
up falling asleep during his shift and they all wake up with crust in their eyes and they're like
you fucking idiot like you forgot you forgot to catch the sandman um they all just had pink eye
for me rubbing his butt on their face yeah man would you comment name rubbed his butt on the
ruddy buddy what was the one about this oh you remember sid the science kid oh sid the science
kid was sick dude i kind of remember that was like the last year i was watching pbs that was
must see tv oh this one was scary dude so the science kid was good yeah i don't actually
remember this at all i'm gonna be honest did you ever watch um kick bakowski kick batowski
kick batowski that's what it is yeah yeah yeah no no that was card i know i didn't watch cartoon
network really did you not we were told cartoon cartoon network was like bad oh man the best show
was total drama island if you go back and watch that one missed all of this it was basically like
survivor it was it was like a reality show but it was like animated and it was so good i remember i
watched my parents framed it as like disney disney was like good and safe nickelodeon was a little
edgy cartoon network was like gonna make you like dumb but i don't think there was any truth to that
my mom was so anti-sponge bob like she was like she was worried worried about it i mean patrick
bro patrick's horny ass oh my i wouldn't trust my kid around patrick no bro oh my lordy you
seen uh they like zoom in on his brain and his brain isn't plugged in no that's like it's a
scene there's a dangling cord and it's like above the thing uh should we roadmap it up yes i have
all the time this guy rocks let's go this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey
hey i just got an email from uh rover i haven't done rover since college you did it once one never
do it again dude you didn't like it i was the only guy in in winter park that would accept like 160
pound plus dogs so i got this one named covid and he was literally the size of like a miata
oh my god and uh just fucked around my house the whole time i tried to take him on a walk and so i
brought a skateboard and he took off running while i was skateboarding and i was going like
felt like a hundred miles an hour i was probably going 10 miles an hour and uh yeah scary all right
we got a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitch followed by our pitches
then we're gonna do this guy rocks teach me something and then we're gonna do will and i
going to do reggae songs that don't exist and party themes that don't exist he's not joking
about any of that that's the truth sometimes i leave work early to do rover i love you
that was all time i that she that was like she's one of the only people that would do that and it
was like endearing she's her we were like that she lauren is so quirky no you were mad about it
yeah i think probably um i think i was more just dumbfounded than anything
yeah that she would be because she would change our schedule she'd be like we have to cut the
podcast short because i have a rover dog like that's not how this works i think she did the
right thing when i worked at a golf course and i would get all the flags at the end of the day
i used to like to like see how fast i could get the golf cart going and jump out of it and not
eat shit but most of the time i just ate shit okay because you think you're not going that fast
right golf cart and then you jump out of it and you like land but i guess you're like momentum
momentum yeah what is it called inertia or something right yeah inertia it just like
completely made me face plant oh in the grass but it was fun it was really really fun it was
kind of a gamble yeah buddy have you guys seen all this chanty beluga stuff yeah i love chanty
beluga yeah i'm a big fan i like she recently was at one of those like trinket shops where you get
your name on a license plate oh nice like hi my name is chanti beluga and i can't find mine
anywhere that's awesome all right hello bulbasaur charmander and squirtle bulbasaur squirtle i'll
be charmander my name is daniel and here is my pitch what is the worst part about being a sports
fan like early in the season when you haven't been keeping up with trades or whatever and you
say like something about a player who's no longer on the team anymore and then you look like an
idiot because your friends are like he got fucking traded your teams are generationally bad and
you're not even from the place so it's like why did i just pick a different one uh sometimes your
favorite players get hurt and now your whole season is derailed introducing take mine did
your favorite player tear the acl did they break a bone in their hand now with our new take mine
technology fans can offer to take the injury in place of the players say drake may were to tear
as ACL with a small quick procedure we can harvest the ACL of a fan and put in Drake Drake's knee so
that he doesn't even need to miss a drive not only would this be a way to keep the players on the
field it would also be a way for fans to feel a new connection to the team obviously the fan
that is taking on the injury would need to go through the rehab process and take mine
Willie Rusty and Andrew are not responsible for any added challenges to the fans life as a result
of this new set injury i love it i would immediately give david stearns my brain
that's matt's general manager is that okay yeah i it would be funny like a like not a season
ending injury but like a one of those ones where the guy is never the same like in his head yeah
some super fan has to just like when like demar hamlin was like fucking like some super fan gets
cte or like i walk in with turf toe and i'm like ah yeah oh my god yeah your buddy your buddy comes
in like not knowing anything i took drake's concussion um i love it drake concussion
all right what is the worst part it's like a big wooden hammer hit his head it's like yeah
that's how drake will get it yeah he's got birds flying birds flying around uh yeah that's
fantastic um what is the worst part about what's the worst part about um like corporate softball
or like court like like the team you know when you play like a sport with your company
you never make it out of like ever make it yeah sorry you never make it out of like the region
there should be a little league world series for like oh that's a good idea so we can be watching
like fucking like you know uh true value hardware store against like palantir yeah yeah yeah if we
watch all the friday beers made it to the playing microsoft in the world series i would watch that
if it was like fucking regular joes but the problem is it like wouldn't be it would somehow
be like all really good players well can you imagine somebody being like oh the pay is not
very good but their softball team is not so i think it would be companies that like recruited
for that yeah yeah exactly yeah it's like how like tbt is like technically anyone maybe it's
like they have to we'd we'd somehow figure out like you companies have to like be small enough
to so yeah it's like hire a team all the accountants have to have a cpa yeah that kind
of stuff yeah and there's all about the cpas today all right i got one what's the worst part
about parking when you're in a rush you can never find a spot can't find a spot this is an uber
valet service so you just throw your car on somewhere with its hazards on and call the uber
valet and he just comes and finds your car that's so sick what does he do with his car he walks oh
that's fantastic that actually i think there's a world where that could like be it's just like
someone in the neighborhood is like i'll go park that guy's car 20 bucks that's so sick i love it
yeah that's great or you could use it if you have like one of those like double parking spaces and
your roommate has to get out you have to move your car yeah yeah oh yes yeah yeah yeah i still can't
believe that we haven't figured out a way to like avoid that because we have that at my apartment
where it's just every every uh apartment has two stacked spots like i don't know if we need to
create some sort of like bridge system or whatever but that's just they do have things where you can
you can drive in and it lifts your car up and then you can park under.
But then to get out, I still need it.
Um, all right. I slacked you. My, this guy rocks, Andrew.
Oh my God. This is all time. This is all time.
This is a Mexican restaurant that they're fajitas.
A bunch of people at the table order for you and they come out,
smoke capital S smoking.
We got the smoking fajitas in here.
I smell wood burning.
Dad, are you back there?
It's like gassing him.
Did they put like lighter fluid on him?
We got another order of smoking fajitas over here.
Look at them smoking fajitas.
Oh my god.
They're kids coughing.
Oh my god, we're smoking fajitas.
It also like, I can understand like, yeah, yeah, maybe one of them came out too hot.
But like both of them coming out like that and the woman saying smoking fajitas makes me think this is a marketing thing.
Yeah, it says in the caption that fajitas are covered in jalapenos making a pepper gas effect.
Isn't this fucking madness?
That's taking the embarrassment of ordering fajitas to the nth degree.
Although that guy's dying out.
I think it just starts crazy.
It's like the type of shit I accidentally order when I'm trying to be nonchalant for the night.
Yeah, the type of shit when I'm high.
This is another like what Drake gets at a Mexican restaurant.
down there all right you can change your mind but you can't change mine
all right i'm excited to see the boys oh okay i mean you know do you this was pissing me off i
got my i got my two cents about this and if they're paying entry-level people this is yeah
It's tough to work if I have to fold a beach chair.
What you make now, then that's pretty bad.
And the bottom line is.
I don't know.
Every time I try to close a beach chair, I feel like a four-year-old baby.
So I don't know if I just was like told this immediately.
It's the armrest.
You just grab the armrest and lift it up.
That's what's locking it in.
Got it.
and i honestly i think i didn't realize that or maybe i saw a different video there was one that
like was not a sketch and it was i wanted to like give him a call like it's the armrest that's funny
yeah all right that's good to know i yeah i don't know it is it we have these chairs that aren't
quite like that though and i get so confused it needs to be a more intuitive uh method i feel
that way about those beach tents you know that you put up or whatever i feel like i always feel
like it's like jammed and then some other guy comes in and is like oh you just gotta do this
and pushes it in like harder than me and i'm like i feel so emasculated that was like when we were
walking out of uh my apartment for trivia like months and months and months ago and your friend
tried to open the door and it wouldn't let him and then i fucking pushed it there's like a sensor
on the thing wait what it's max's buddy as well i was just with him i'm parker parker at his house
We were at my house.
We were leaving my apartment.
It was after Star Wars.
Oh, yeah.
And he, like, walked directly into the door because it was, like, auto-locked.
And you need to, like, wait for, like, the perfect...
Whatever, it doesn't matter.
It's so embarrassing.
I'm sorry, I'm missing something.
I'm always like, ah, it's jammed.
And then they're like...
And I'm like...
All right, hit us, Andrew.
All right.
Is this your first ever This Guy Rocks?
It might be.
Let's go.
Andrew's inaugural This Guy...
Hey, has anyone...
Has anyone seen all my Q-tips and cotton balls?
I think I left them outside.
I didn't see my pants.
Oh, no.
should we watch it one more time hey has anyone seen all my q-tips and cotton balls i think i
left them outside oh no where did you find that we have to play we have to play the the the age
old game high or drunk you think you're neither that was like in the morning dude really over
what was going on in the background who's my in their pants my friend fran with like she has like
a cartoonish like like dude hate the impression but uh yeah i don't know they were laughing about
something in the back we had dude that shit was so much fun that was like was that the mod that
was the mods which is like the senior housing in bc and it was just like you had to do senior
housing we lived everyone lived on campus like well people move off junior year sometimes but
like everyone always wanted to be on campus the mods were cool to visit like it having all your
buddies in one place it was like a little town like neighborhood in the middle of campus oh
townhouses with like yards and grills and like oh it was like smack next to the football stadium
next to the classrooms next to the dining hall could you still like host parties and yeah you
could drink and stuff and yeah that was why we moved out is because like we were just like we
want to host parties we wouldn't be able to drink i only had one semester it was like the most fun
day of my college when i like snowed yeah you know it was so funny i signed i got i had remember i
worked at landscaping yeah i had left and i was uh not doing that anymore and then i needed
money so i got the job back and then like the next day he would like i emailed him on like a
i emailed him knowing there was like a snowstorm coming the next day thinking like okay maybe i'll
start this next week right and he emails me he's like great could you start tomorrow we need people
with shovels at 6 a.m to start shoveling and everyone was so excited because it was like
classes were canceled we're gonna have a huge snow day and so i was like i have covid and then he
moment the next week and it was like are you back and i was like the snow i don't know the snow thing
i was like that i can't yeah holy fuck that's hilarious but we had a great party that day it
was very we partied and we danced that was my i guess technically my junior year that's funny that
was the best year of my life junior year that was so much fun better than this year no tied do you
think that every year has gotten better of your life i think years that were great in the past
are always more fun than the present because you only really at the end of the day if it was like
a good year you kind of just remember the highlights that's why i'm kind of excited to
start writing shit down because i'll look back and be like that was the greatest time ever and
then i remember being like i remember not realizing it in the moment so clearly it wasn't like every
day was euphoria yeah but that when i went back to college and then like met scott and like became
with friends of that crew did we that was that was whatever we went nuts all right would you
guys like my teach me something yeah so you're familiar with travis barker the drummer yes you
know how he was in that horrible plane the private plane crash i think he was like one of two people
that survived whatever but so for obvious reasons he's like terrified of flying so i was like why
how does he tour because they still tour he takes the queen mary to europe when they tour and it
takes him nine days to get to europe isn't that insane like the boat in long beach the sorry the
queen mary 2 so i don't know where it probably leaves from the atlantic side but wait can you
google it takes a nine day like titanic style cruise over to uh over to europe to tour yeah
the queen mary ii luxury cruise ship wow he said it's pretty cool i really want to do that new
royal caribbean where does it go it goes out of miami and i think it just hits like uh like the
bahamas and stuff like that but it's like an entire city other joke like it's an old jimmy
buffett it's all true the ones the ones that are like like proper jesus proper cruise ships kind
of scare me to be honest um like that does not sound like relaxing icon of the seas that's what
it is yeah i mean yeah that looks look at this bad boy fucking pandemonium like so crazy it's
an entire city that is so on a boat crazy yeah like look is it mostly kids uh it's families
got it it's mainly families yeah but uh i want to do like a boys trip on it sometime i feel like
low-key uh just like a spending time at like a nice resort would be yeah but then it doesn't
get like really dark and scary at night it's a good point it's a damn good point yeah yeah it is
terrifying to be on that thing in the middle of night because it's you don't see the water
it's just pitch black outside i'm gonna be honest when we were i don't that's scary really
i probably did i just don't remember i remember the one night like going up and hanging out on
the deck and i thought it was kind of peaceful yeah when oh my god when the sun we also weren't
super far from land at any given time i don't think um plus it doesn't brother it does not
look like it gets too dark on that thing it was just a fucking disco ball it was like a floating
neato oh man yeah i'm gonna ride it one day you're gonna ride it i'm gonna ride it one day
it's like sounds like you're gonna i'm gonna drive it one day it's like two thousand dollars
to do it unfortunately it's like for how long a week how much is like a week vacation usually
probably around there depends on where you go yeah if you're going to like mississippi no
if you're going to like branson missouri this is true a little closer to branson mississippi
do you ever teach me something really no andrew thoughts teach me something
the icon of the seas is the biggest cruise ship thank you do you see how andrew brings things
well i was gonna have one one second i got one wait no i have one i have one i have one i have
one i have one talking about shit did you know that there used to be
all right let's do our draft do you want to do reggae songs that don't exist for us or party
themes i want to start for party themes because i got one that's going to blow your nuts off
these are even more party themes that don't exist fashionably late everyone dresses to the nines
and you better not be there on time i'm talking you set the party for six maybe get there at eight
nine whatever later the better and the better dressed the better fashionably late theme that's
fucking awesome that's like my worst nightmare i hated hosting parties in college because like
it's the worst time at a party is like the first 15 minutes when only like the first like one or
two people have shown up and you have to like entertain them the whole time yeah you know
brutal agreed brutal um greed don't flask don't tell everyone brings a flask of a mystery liquor
and you're like swapping them but the whole time you can never tell someone what it's going to be
before they uh drink it and one of them's piss that's good x games it is skater themed everyone
dresses like a 2000 skater and you bring a former lover as your date i used i had one called x games
did you not that it was different it was i think a reality show right yeah maybe it was a reality
show that's fantastic i like that a lot okay the easter keg cut that cut that cut that cut that
the easter keg hunt across the house are mini kegs hidden everywhere and that's the only booze
of the party so if you want to get drunk you better get looking that's awesome thank you
beer alarm if you're not holding the beer when the beer alarm goes off you gotta go home
do you have to be like in the process of drinking it or just hold it i think it's like buffalo yeah
eyes and ears couples are handcuffed together one's blindfolded one's wearing
beats headphones they have to act as each other's eyes and ears that's awesome thank you
I do, actually.
That sounds really fun.
That sounds, like, exhausting by the end of it.
Yeah.
The bone leading to death.
Four cores and seven beers ago.
That's all I wrote.
I don't know what that is.
All right.
That's fantastic.
Should we do reggae songs?
Yeah.
These are more reggae songs that don't...
Sorry.
These are more reggae songs that don't exist.
Bong Too Long.
It's about having weed to smoke, but your bong is way too long for your hand to reach,
So he's trying all these different ways to get the bowl lit.
I love that.
Thank you.
Island tonight.
It said, I'm coming to visit your girl and island tonight.
But it's island.
Can I sing that in that accent?
Is that fine?
Yes, of course.
Island tonight.
Island tonight.
The dread winner.
It's about being in a roster relationship and one person makes a little more money than the other.
I like that.
Is that okay?
Yeah.
i feel like we're like sometimes we're not skittish about race at all and then other times
we have no clue what is okay and flower in my soul's hole this is a love song where he says
that the girl oh girl you're the flower in my soul's hole deep down you're the flower in my
soul's hole oh lord you're the flower in my soul am i losing you guys no you got me in the
oh my god your soul's hole yeah deep down in your soul's hole not your whole soul
rastafari safari it's about smoking a joint and getting out in nature and looking at the animal
i love ya more than others oh i love ya more than others for some reason that was the one that felt
wrong okay noted all right we love you guys i was in memorial for bob morrow when i next time i'll
see you i will have i will be back from my trip so i love you uh and we will see you guys on monday
peace out sorry about the empty shelves sorry about the empty netters guys i know that's you're
not hockey fans so you don't have to watch somebody robbed us before the episode that's
why the shelves are this one robbed us which is why the empty netters aren't here so just
Go watch their pod
Also can I say one thing
We did a fun little thing called
The Sobers do you remember that
It's coming out in a few weeks
So stay dialed on the Friday Beers YouTube page
To watch us participate
In a game of skill trickery
And booze
We love you
