Will & Rusty's Playdate - the craziest night out in tokyo

Episode Date: February 11, 2026

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It's your money calling. It wants a promotion. elevate your savings with the scotia high interest savings account always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest conditions apply visit scotiabank.com slash hisa to learn more scotia bank you're richer than you think play date play date episode 185 and we have what is it actually uh 183 183 randy moss west walker randy moss i don't think we're are we guessing people were 83 yeah you can do someone who wore 83 or someone who is 83 or the rare boat no one's ever gone before that should be our new

goal no one's ever gone for that should be our new goal all right uh um what's like lynn swan yeah i guess we got a thing like soviet era oh what how old is he he's 88 oh all right somewhere in the middle 15 years from now that's gonna be awesome yeah uh we have caleb here caleb was with us in tokyo and he's gonna talk us through so as wait but i think before we get into that who here watched the super bowl how awesome was that no it was one of the worst probably it was one of the worst games of football in general i've ever it was so boring it was very very watching andrew i did yeah but i was at like a watch party so i was like oh you watch it like every year right uh i have yeah i think i was just keep filling people who

was that you're watching it every year i'm a big super bowl fan uh what who's at your watch party i was my friend's family no but it was really fun because they're hispanic so they were like bringing around shots every 10 minutes oh everything and everyone who's hispanic has to be like a big drunk well no no they were just like very fun and social my parents like growing up were like very like shy famously not hispanic so and not hispanic they were not at all famously white uh that is it's funny you bring that up that was like the reason so we were trying to figure out do we watch with people at my house or do we go to the twins parents house and the the thought was you can you have to drink a lot less in front of parents yeah so you you kind of

got the best of both worlds where you got parents but still they let you drink what were you what were the shots uh tequila shots it was tequila shots every 10 minutes and i was just every 10 minutes every 10 minutes every 10 minutes yeah that's like 40 shots that's more than that or Were his parents, like, in a fraternity? No, that's just how they partied down there. Every ten minutes? The game was, like, four or five hours. There's no way.

Was there, like, an egg timer that would, like, go off? And we'd go, salute! Was it really, like, every ten minutes? I mean, I don't know, 20 minutes? At what point were you, like, throwing it behind your back? Never, dude. That would be so disrespectful. How many shots did you take?

Probably, like, eight or so. Because the math isn't that easy. Okay, so every 20 minutes or something. Wait, where were you? You act like you've never exaggerated a story before. I don't know. That's a good point. That is a good point.

Kind of clocked your team. It wouldn't have even registered with me until you pointed it out. Because every 10 minutes is like an expression. Oh, so it's my fault. No, no, I'm saying every 10 minutes is like an expression, but then you were like, every 10 minutes? And you were like, yeah. So that means like it was literally.

Okay. Wait, where was this Latino family? They were in Anaheim. Do they want to hang out like this weekend? They're my friend's parents. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, but they always host parties. Did they like the halftime show?

There was a corner of people watching the Kid Rock one. I'll be honest, I tuned in. Did you actually? Out of curiosity, and it was one of, I have not laughed that hard in a while. It was pretty hysterical. When he comes out in the fur coat, and he takes it off, and he's lip-syncing so off. Yeah. It was very funny.

I've seen good clips of the camera guy clearly trying to find fun people in the crowd. and it's just like you can tell he's like ah like this guy maybe like everyone's on there like their phones but not like recording it they're just kind of like looking i was trying to figure out like where this is where is this like mystery warehouse where where was the tp usa halftime show it was atlanta oh back home that feels like not where most of them would be right oh it was pre-taped yeah i guess that makes sense it was pre-taped yeah and it was still that bad yeah but oh wait what it was it really bad well that's what you guys are saying it was pretty horrible whoever the guy who was on before kid rock i don't know what it was but it was cracking

me they all had unless i'm just not tapped into that scene those didn't seem like very famous no it's like it's they it was yeah it was the pinnacle of who would be willing to attach their name to that and unfortunately that's just mostly kid rock yeah like he's your headliner I only know all summer long but in the part I watched he did not play that so it was a lot more like aggressive than I I don't really know anything about his music it occurred to me yeah uh it was like was the whole that was it was that like that still is all summer long but he's become a different guy now so it's like his screamo it's like his new wave I guess Caleb you're from

atlanta yes did you know anyone that went um just like my parents and cousins and aunts no my parents watched the bad bunny halftime show my bonnie here's my thing i thought it was fantastic i don't speak spanish though so i was i was thinking subtitles would be nice yeah okay my only pushback that is like how often do you really listen to the lyrics of a english halftime show the whole time yeah but like you're not like i feel like the halftime show is more just kind of like the vibes and the music like no one's like totally internalizing the lyrics of it yeah i did but also in it to argue against myself the amount of times there have or it's been english speaking every time we've never put like sub pedals for the millions

of people watching i'm just saying like when it was katie perry were you like oh coming out like a dark horse okay that's interesting uh yeah that's a good point it was just i didn't uh i had a hard time knowing which what the songs were about yeah i i really like the production of it like that's honestly i was like they made like a music like a broadway musical like on the field yeah and the whole time i was like man they set this up in like 15 minutes and like they're getting it off in another 15 minutes like yeah that alone was like what i was thinking about the whole time like it's really impressive i was thinking how does the stage not leave how does the grass not have like imprints in it from like the all the equipment it's a good

question honestly i don't know or like must be really light someone pointed out today like it was awesome for us to watch on tv but since he was just in those weeds the whole time was that you that told me that no like but i heard you went to the game yeah oh he's just disappeared the whole time. I feel like in general all those look probably pretty lame. Remember the weekend where he was running through those hallways and stuff? He was in a mirror maze.

Alright, and for the halftime show the weekend is going to try and get out of a mirror maze. You remember when Jack Harlow did the Thanksgiving halftime show? Maybe. Can you go like Jack Harlow Thanksgiving halftime? Also, every week it's just a whole new setup

in here, but I do like this setup. sean sean the empty netters producer was originally hired to streamline the studio process and he has just created a thing that only he understands and there are oh it's just like one it was just like really lame from every angle that wasn't yeah clearly made for like a specific it looked like an ink like an igloo on tv but it was like this weird yeah all right should we talk japan let's talk japan so this video when this episode comes out this afternoon our night out in tokyo will have just come out on the friday beers youtube yeah but and our last video got age restricted yeah i have a theory on that all right because

it was a bet mgm sponsored video and sports betting is highly illegal in japan but it's i don't think that because didn't it get flagged for sale of unregulated goods i think it was just the disney thing we had disney in the title and thumbnail whereas like epcot we don't directly say disney that's an unregulated good i think that was just some weird like terminology they use because there wasn't like a button that said like you drank at disney world you don't think it's possible to have like a thing set up that's like in japan there can't be gambling ads on video i don't know because but wouldn't that only age restricted in japan yeah that it would make sense for dude maybe they'll like make a rule for us like you know like athletes like your part of

your legacy is like if you were so good they made a rule about you like the rule there get there's gonna be like the denellan rule where like if you drink at disney world your video just automatically gets age gated or if you gamble in japan just in japan yeah i think i think it was the disney thing but uh that was a kick in the nuts that video that video got off to the hottest start we've had in a while yeah and then and like we've been like propping up like we've been trying to convince our company like this was a worthwhile if this if this one is to another country restricted we are i don't think it will it's no different than like the seattle video like it's that same format yeah there's crime though i did have to cut out your um like gambling just to be safe you had

like you had that big parlay i did yeah and i was like just to be safe we're gonna that's probably smart that's probably good we'll peel back the curtain for this video yeah i didn't gamble uh i did however get very drunk that day as you'll see in the video and i woke up the next day and i had won eleven hundred dollars uh which is one of the best it is if you want to mitigate anxiety that is one way to be like pretty good well if i hadn't gotten that drunk yeah because i tried to put 50 bucks on like this online casino and i accidentally i legitimately accidentally clicked 500 and i freaked out and like closed the app and like turned my phone off because i thought that was going to help when i turned back on i had one i forgot about that yeah

yeah and if you if you were sober you would have known to put 50 and not 500 that's true yeah you're right so that so it was good thing i also got my wallet stolen yeah it was uh a scary and i guess a resolution that you won't find out in that video is that i actually got it back yeah i think we might find that out like in a future video maybe the osaka one oh so i should well whatever that's fine yeah but yeah i got the last bar of the night i had my wallet out on the bar uh and a guy there took it and stole it and i went yeah i we were like about to leave the bar it was we were like all right let's go home and then i roused it in my wallet and i was so drunk that i like lost my mind yeah i'd like rightfully so like you were yeah it was this is just a word

do you want to just maybe give a psa to people traveling to a foreign country leaving your wallet unattended on the bar usually bad idea okay i see you're gonna try to make this my fault no i see where you're going we were in a neighborhood the golden guy which i felt like the golden guy that night after enough shots uh the bars have five seats at them true yeah there was extremely we had had a personal interaction with every person there you were like you were best friends with every single person everyone we were like a fleeting moment yeah also japan i'll just famously no crime famously zero crime like when i told a guy i was talking to a guy about how willie got his wallet stolen in japan he didn't believe me and then i the problem is then the next day you're

so drunk and you go did i really get my wallet stolen or was i just so drunk i misplaced it well i get a dm the next morning these people are like hey we found your wallet we turned into the nearest police station but we were already in Osaka at this point because we had to get up and take an early train so the last day when we had to come back to Tokyo Jack and I go to the police station it's being in a police station where so at this point we know they turn my wallet in so like it has to be there so I'm like giving them all I give fill out a report give my info and then it's just all these cops like on the phone talking with each other obviously we have no fucking clue we're just trying to read like their body language

at first it's like kind of grim and then they start like laughing with each other and i'm like well they wouldn't be laughing in front of me this has to be a good sign and uh and like one like one guy would be on the phone and like look at his other cop on and be like they have to have it if they're doing it was a whole thing they ended up sending us to a different police station where it was in the vault there and they said they couldn't open it up on the weekend and it was a saturday and i was like well i'm leaving today so i think they had to like wake up the police chief out of bed or something that's what it felt like it was like a cop in full uniform except instead of cop shoes he was wearing adidas slides came in oh he literally like rolled

out of bed to come open the vault or something it was like they had to get like the right access but dude the thing is i think if that happened here no shot no going out of their way to like like call the guy to come they'd be like they were so helpful and all like the imagery in the police station was like very like cartoonish and like anime like foxes yeah cop uniforms like it was it was it felt more like uh yeah like a public safety thing than like uh it was a it was a i imagine that vibe comes from they they have to solve like one crime a year yeah yeah we had they had like a wanted the only wanted poster we saw in there was from like 1991 like it almost felt like it was like a like a hall of fame this is the one guy we wanted and we got it i sent that

picture to you guys it was like their most wanted list and they were all from like some group from like the 90s yeah it was like the red army or something yeah and like again i think that's the last time they've had like one yeah it's like a super middle like one comes every like 20 years and they have like a five-day battle yeah but it's like it's like they're like grew they do like the petty crimes yeah like a global so they're like oh like we'll get you next time they just like turn the river into like jello or something he's done it again it's all like extremely non-violent yeah jello man strikes he was the cop like dips his finger

in the dips his pinky in the river and is like he was just here hasn't even hardened yet still got some powder willie and i were laughing so like golden guy if you're not familiar if the people at home are not familiar it's like all small bars as willie said we were joking on our way back to tokyo because we knew we were going to this police station like do you think that the police station is also like a little shoebox police station and we were like kind of having a good laugh about it it is literally the width of the couch that you guys are sitting on oh yeah and there's oh you went i went that night with pete callahan so you know exactly what i'm talking about yeah and we were like cracking up like oh my god the golden guy police station also yeah is

just like a closet with there were two guys in there and then like another came from like a back room yeah to help with the investigation but like everything there is just tiny yeah it was pretty fascinating like working they were they could not have been like more helpful and more like they're like what time's your flight yeah it's like we got to make sure you get it before then ended up i got my wallet back it my cash and credit card were missing but i had frozen it so no one they also only took the one like willie had two amex's one had been canceled before he got one and he took the one that was still working he took the right one but also it is like a nice i guess if he knows amex like he would know it's like a nicer amex yeah but i don't know why though

yeah i mean we don't have to get too much of the details but we have a pretty good idea of who stole the wallet yeah so we do know who stole the wallet and it was and i think it should be clear it was another tourist it's so like yeah it was not a japanese he was not a japanese yeah he was a fellow american yeah he was a fellow american he came in and i said hey where are you from and he said puerto rico and then later i was like speaking spanish you were doing arriba yeah is that in the video yeah yeah with all japanese guys and i went i was like right you guys you guys ever do this in puerto rico and he goes what how'd you know i'm from puerto rico like like sussed out that's i think that's where my like like blinders went up because i'm like

who's like sussed out by like you knowing where they're from and he i was like you told me that yeah and he was like and he was he was with a japanese lady but they weren't really talking i don't really know the japanese lady of the night no she was not i don't know if she's the lady i thought that was i mean i wasn't here for this i don't know he told me she was a prostitute we don't know that for sure we didn't know we didn't sorry hooker we did sex worker sex work we have no idea but to your we know who took it we were best and you'll see it in the video like you're arguing with them about shohei otani and like yeah buying sake rounds and like everyone in that bar except for those two people thought you were a man yes correct they were like weirdly

like every other bar we went to was like everybody here is our best friend right yeah it was just they were very much doing their own thing yeah and that kind of further fuels our you know well also lucas and the bartender both were like oh that was your wallet we saw him take that and yeah okay like they they were like oh we just thought that was his wallet yeah we thought you guys did yeah there's there's so little crime there they were like we thought you guys did like a wallet exchange they can't even like fathom you said he could have he took it without permission yeah yeah you're should we like go in reverse because yeah now before this was rusty yeah oh you got he took a dive he we did snake shots snake shots which sent uh rusty featherstone into a spiral not many drinks

uh take me down immediately this one caleb sent me maybe my favorite six second interaction you and i've ever had where it's willie's outside this is a bar where there's no fourth wall like it connects straight to the street you're like standing on the sidewalk and one wall in that whole bar yeah it's just the bar yeah and uh and i lean to i see something at the bar and then i lean to willie and i go willie uh snake shots you can take a shot of snake and then willie like comes like zero questions asked comes over we take the shot and then caleb showed me my reaction i like immediately know something's wrong you immediately know something's wrong and then i think within 20 minutes i was keeled over in the hotel bathroom projectile vomiting yeah the snake

bit you and that we snaked it up later that we did snake it up again yeah that that's i think really was a turning point no pun intended shout out the halftime show for me uh that night i i would you go back to the same bar no different bar head snake and in golden guy in golden guy and this was the funny thing in i feel like maybe i brought this up but like part of like the thing you'll read online and we found to be pretty true is like you should offer to buy the bartender a drink which we have been we had been and they love you so yeah but i remember having this conversation being like at some point at these late night bars like everyone's doing that don't they get hammered and this one where when caleb and i did the snake shot the bartender was

shit face also it's like blacked out it's important to not say no to any shot that we yeah it's important for the listeners to know too like it's not like at an american bar where if one of the bartenders gets drunk there's like other people that kind of pick up it's like there's one person who works at every bar there's no more than one employee like owner like only employee like they have like every position he's like the bookkeeper too like he has he wears a wears a lot of hats it was pretty remarkable i had i was already gone at this point yes yeah so you did recover which was very impressive yeah but you like you were like all right i got like one or two left in me and then you went back i remember the moment uh the moment i realized because i i

had gotten over to the point where i wasn't like keeled over anymore but i was not back to 100 i remember the moment i realized i was not gonna be able to keep going we were in a bar it was i think it was the first bar we went to when we got back to golden guy with tarik and everyone in there except for me is smoking cigarettes yeah and it's oh yeah he was from turkey yeah there's a guy from turkey in there turkey a turkey yeah he was like that's dumb yeah he doesn't care i was like yeah i was gonna do it for you the turkey i have the turkey pass yeah i got the tea pass i can still call it that and this room is like more cigarette smoke than oxygen and i was like i have to step outside and i stepped outside and there were other american kids like around our age there

and this guy and i start talking and he's like do you know grant long yeah it was just a kid like one of my buddies from rollins and i was like yeah and then that guy joined us that was pete callahan pete callahan who i found out later went to college with my best friend from like elementary yeah there's a guy that pete callahan just knew knew someone yeah for all of us the best part is you ask me like who are who are you because we just showed up with pete at the next spot yeah and he was like i'm pete callahan i'm i really got nothing going on that's exactly what one of rusty's friends would be is that what i said i'm pete callahan i don't have a whole lot what was he doing there just hanging out he's in the video dude he had like nine buddies there

and we had lost them and so he just joined our group he's the man he went he went to the police that's exactly what one of rusty's buddies yeah he said he would have that name and that's exactly what my name is i don't have much going on my name is pete gallant i do not currently have a lot going on but you know he when the whole wallet saga was going on we were like oh we'll go to the police station it's like pete and i went like he was he was a part of our rescue real part of the props to pete for uh for just dude buying in on yeah on whatever we were selling we were i mean i was one theft away from like the perfect night like we were about to walk home and i would have had no qualms about how that went yeah i i do want to say like for the night as a whole which i think

sells in the video like we're talking about the last couple neighborhoods we haven't even mentioned like that was the longest day like the we bent space and time was that the same day that we met that i met yoshi yes we and like you did the sumo wrestling in the same day oh my god yeah That was all the same day. I got picked to wrestle a sumo wrestler, and I had him on the ropes. That's what I'm saying. We did so much. The video is 40 minutes long.

It's 40 minutes long? Yes. But it's all action-packed. That's awesome. Wait, is there a cut we can watch? Yeah. And the end is all edited? Yeah.

Cool. Listen, I'll hand up. I'm very conscious of getting my hands on this edit because I got very upset when my wallet got stolen. None of that's really in there. everyone gets one everyone gets one listen yeah in your defense i've i've known you for a couple years i've never i guess i wasn't even there for this so i've still never seen you have a meltdown i had like a like a childish meltdown that's really but also like it's fair like your wallet got stolen yeah it wasn't over like really petty stuff you're right i just like i feel like i've

always been a turn the other cheek guy like it's like yeah like i and and i just i got mad yeah i got mad watching willie grapple with uh i was like running around the streets of the neighborhood like screaming yeah yeah we were so bad we're sitting on the train to the bullet train to osaka the next morning and me and caleb are sitting up front watching harry potter and you willie and lucas are behind us and watching willie just every five minutes being like there's no way yeah there's no way i said that like lucas and i would remember another thing Yeah, you're like, oh, yeah, and then you said this, and he was like, oh, my God. That's not, that's so not me.

Yeah, I was mad. In your defense, you tried a lot of new alcohols. Oh, no, no, no. I'm full of snake venom. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. What? What did you think I was going to say? I thought nothing, nothing, nothing.

You tried a lot of new alcohols that your body had, like, never processed before, and it was probably just, like, fighting to stay alive. It was, and, yeah, it was the first time doing snake. Everyone's first time with a snake is... There was something, that was a turning point for how my brain chemistry changed after we took that first snake shot. It was a downer for you, it was an upper for Willie. I think that's a good one. The snake?

Yeah. Wait, can you explain what a snake shot is? That's a good point. Yeah, look it up. It was a jar, a picture like an old laboratory jar, like a big mason jar type thing. and there's a brown like fireball colored liquor in there but then there is a dead cobra curled up in the bottom like still live fangs out like everything and the fat the venom from the snake is what like leeches into the alcohol and i think is supposed to give like a little like

extra kick it's funny you kept saying like i think i'm allergic to snake venom i think i am kind of the whole yeah oh my god yeah and like the full snake is in the jar it's not alive though right uh no it drowned more that's right it might even drop i wonder if they put it in alive that'd be kind of fucked up how do they kill it because think about it if they like shot it then there's like a wound you have to worry about or they have to like let it die of natural causes i want to go back does the venom actually get into the yes that's like the whole point so i thought they were great i had like a very neutral reaction i mean i was so drunk by the time we did it like i don't even remember what it tastes like if i'm remembering correctly it i most

closely compared it to malort if you've ever had malort yeah i think that's pretty like there was like a kind of gasoline like tequila yeah like mezcal kind of it was just like you know oh no no it was uh what's the like aperitif that we have sometimes that mint one they call it like bartender's mouthwash what's that you know what i'm talking about rumple stilt skin rumple shots no no it starts with an l lambert's is that a thing i don't know longevity um so caleb be our shepherd here tell us maybe tell us some other things lambert's um i think one of the more interesting parts of the video is like how i think like we fully we always seek to have the perfect night out in the cities i think this one is the best we've done at like we captured the experience

of tokyo because remember ginza how quiet it was yeah that whole district but it was like really interesting oh that was that was where that um remember um ango sagaguchi ango sagaguchi preferred that one he said to him we went to this bar and it is it's the oldest bar in tokyo apparently we go down right or no that wasn't the oldest bar no no that was the quietest bar in tokyo by our that was our own personal demographic yeah yes no we go in there it was just it was dead silent yeah Yeah, Bar Lupin and Ginza. No one's speaking a word. Everyone's drinking.

Packed bar, everyone's drinking. No one's talking. Yeah, they're all like in their own, just like, they're all at the bar, but like they're not turned and talking to each other. Yeah, it was very bizarre. They're just on their phones and reading a book. And we got this drink that apparently Engo Sagaguchi preferred. Wait, did you find out who it is?

I did. Can you tell us? Do you want to know? You guys made a pact in the moment that we'll never find out. So on the menu, they had this drink and they said, it just under the drink, it said, Engo sagaguchi is said to have preferred it the golden i liked i'd believe them more because like in america it would be like angelo sagaguchi's number one yeah this was angelo sagaguchi's favorite drink yeah he came here all the time they're like you know we we know as much as you we just have

heard he said to i want to know now should we look it up now can we find out i we made a we made do we make a thousand years pact no we made a blood oath oh do we make in the video yeah all never mind what was the oath just that you would never look i think it's funny because i'm picturing like a i'm picturing like a samurai whoa dude they're not all samurai so then after that we went to the the bar where they make you cocktails everyone who worked there was like not japanese we got in there i was like hey um quick question there seems to be a lot of white people you guys all seem to be also from america there was like 40 bartenders and our bartender was from uh dallas uh dc dc

apparently they all travel so it's like a it's like a mixologist school yeah they're all like basically yeah they like they are like apprentices that come from far and wide to study under this one guy and go sakaguchi and i will say those were the best cocktails i've ever had in my life yeah because explain how they were like custom made yeah they come around to you with a notepad and they go they just ask you like 15 like rapid fire questions about what you want out of your drink some are like you know literal like what ingredients would you like and then others are like feeling questions like what do you want it to feel like and they nailed it every like you'd be like i want it to feel like like you know kind

of some it was summer walk on the beach yeah maybe walk on and he's like on it like walk on the beach but you're like inside of someone penetrating i want to feel like he's like it's already made I want something that says legendary golfer with a bad side who was like kind of the bad boy at golf and is from Arkansas. Is there anything that says sort of that? One of the other bartenders just throws it across the room and your waiter catches it and puts it on the table. I want something that says biggest borough in New York. This is kind of unrelated, but I was at a candle store yesterday that also sells perfume. and uh the lady i was getting i was gonna get some for me and some for flan and the lady was like

the best saleswoman of all time so she showed me this collection that it's all things that don't have a scent in the real world but their chemists have been trying to capture the feeling of it in a perfume and i was like that's not possible and then she goes this one's pearl and sprayed it and i was like nailed nailed she got me i bought it real pearl she was like it's supposed to smell like the way a pearl shimmers in an oyster and i was like that's ridiculous and then she sprayed it in my face or on the little paper thing and put it in my face nailed it wow pearl isn't that a spongebob character bingo bingo someone's been studying so what was your favorite bar caleb well oh i like shibuya well i think you guys picked abisu as the best which was that

that was where you met yoshi i took a picture so i think this is the shibuya that should be that was the venom oh venom that might have been my favorite so abisu is the funniest section of the video to me and just of the night because we get off the train station go to a 7-eleven get a canned cocktail there walk two steps to your right do karaoke and drink ice smirnoff isis yep we iced ourselves yeah well the guy the guy was like you guys can get whatever you want out of the cooler and it was like that or beer and you're like we'll do five ices i was like no remember the um uh oh fuck what was the the karaoke guy the stock footage of like oh yeah yeah you're doing i was singing like an oasis singing wonderwall or something and it was

literally just like like i think it was like us it's stock footage of just like a new guy in new york walking around feeding ducks at central there was kind of like a storyline too like if you like were drunk enough it like kind of made sense like it was like it was none of the things he was doing were related but they all kind of had this nice like through line of like i think he's like a disgruntled businessman but he's realized there's more to life than just uh maximizing shareholder value uh but from there is when like i think that was like the first okay this is the true nightlife in tokyo experience when it's like the market that market was sick and that's where oh they were like asking why we were there we tell them we're like we are they're like what are you

filming we're like oh youtube video we're and he's the bartender was like oh i'm a comedian they were saying he's like one of the biggest comedians in top 200 comedians we've met a top 200 comedian japan and then they were like oh let's put it on they were they put our youtube channel up on their tv yeah so the epcot video was playing behind the bar while we were drinking at the bar which is really funny when in epcot we go to japan because then we pointed as you said japan obviously they don't know what epcot is but they were just like oh yeah that's what we are it said japan well i think they got really confused because you know we were like yeah we go to different cities and do bar reviews and they're like oh you go all around the world we're

like no no just in america but then we showed them this video going all around the world and they were like wait what so you're in mexico right now and now you're in canada like it was very confusing and you were like dressed with like the makeup and stuff on and they're like that's you yeah yeah that's that is me snake up on but then you met the um the dog town guys oh yeah and they were like oh we love we're in like the dog town club of tokyo like they skateboard and they're really in and dog town is the neighborhood i live in it like we're in dog town right now yeah dog town coffees across the street like they like i invited them to come stay on my couch you live in dog town yeah ecstatic they couldn't believe it yeah i don't know so

it's very bizarre to think about yeah they're like romanticizing venice beach from like the coolest place i've ever been yeah that that place was was we mentioned this earlier but you true if you go into like any bar there and you buy them a beer like i cannot stress this enough we were like kings like this they love you you walk in you're like all right we'll do uh five beers in one for everyone here and everyone's like oh yeah i'm here for everyone at that bar remember he rolled out a barrel like the bar was full yeah like oh we'll go somewhere else no no i got you rolls out a barrel so like we were like standing in the wall everyone's so fucking nice wasn't there a bar on the other side of the market that was like getting mad that you guys walked in and

like immediately you get swarmed by like the promoter of each section trying to get you to like come to their bar and we turned this one into like the most lively there was another bar there that was getting mad at us they were upset that we weren't i can't remember exactly they were upset that we had done it for this bar and not for the one over there he was like come over here and we were like now we're like nah kind of having a blast over here wait do you want to talk about yeah there was this like older gentleman named yoshi who i was talking to and he was asking me about where i was from and i told him i live in brentwood and when we started talking about oj simpson i think and he was just like i believe that was the first he had ever heard of it

so like he was learning he didn't know about oj i if i'm remembering correctly so you know everything i don't remember anything i said here so the funniest part of like these just these trips is i'm like oh rusty's over there like talking to a guy like this would be good b-roll but then i listen to the audio when i'm editing it and i just it's me zooming in on you and you going have you ever heard of oj simpson it's like old japanese guy and he's like uh yeah yeah like he knew who he was like i live right there and then right where he killed yeah you're like he stabbed a guy i live right where he lives and then you like have him come to camera and you're like yoshi's like oj simpson he's a hero and you're like yes he's a hero

depends on how you look at it but yeah you make that argument yeah and he uh he's like buffalo bills it was crazy like i mean this is a normal thing i guess but i never experienced it he had a full british accent yoshi yeah because when he was speaking english he learned english in oh yeah that was trippy i guess like i expect them to speak like in a more of american or like what we think of as a japanese accent yeah could you do it yeah could you do it just for the people yeah what is what would you expect you know i think that's that's how you guys get the idea wait that is awesome do you guys mind if i go pee really quickly that's fine we'll uh we'll run the show while you're gone so caleb right now you live in

a hotel yes uh this is sponsored by four points by sheraton uh we actually just signed a huge hilton oh sorry no just kidding wait so caleb lives in a hotel right now yeah so if you if you watch last week's episode with lucas that's my uh producer in crime and roommate yep and uh we live in a an apartment complex and our unit has mold and it's been several months of us asking them to kindly do something about the mold and finally after like three months they're like all right we'll put you up in a hotel while we clean it for a week so lucas and i are living in a hotel right now that's fun yeah i got a bar in my basement um can you charge it to the room yeah i'm i'm still not sure what the deal is like what is being paid for by the apartment yeah what i'm

paying for because i did have to put a card down with my name on it so like yeah um but i actually kind of like it it feels like i'm like cosplaying as like a businessman where is your hotel it's like still culver city it's like a little closer to the airport so it's like kind of out of the way obnoxiously but yeah there's something kind of fun of like i don't have to clean my room yeah that is yeah i don't know like it's it's i like it better than like living with mold right now so that's definitely valid yeah so it's the worst possible place to like if it's supposed to supplement living just living somewhere they did a horrible job because there's no like kitchenette in the room there's no laundry room so how do you eat or do laundry um i had to go to a public

laundromat on friday because i had like all my clothes i didn't have time like do it yeah before we left i was like i'll do it at the hotel i just brought my my bin and they don't have a laundromat there so i just had to like go to one of the public ones nearby that sucks it's my first time ever doing that fun yeah pretty fun i i you will not believe what they're doing over there i went to i need to go to the dry cleaner and i had to get done oh he's right sorry we're just got some riveting stuff right now so are you living in like an actual hotel room it's yeah it's a full-on hotel room i it's i have two like queen beds to myself okay yes yeah you're not sharing you guys are interested in having a little slumber party do you ever what are you using the

other bed for uh do one for like jacking it and one for sleeping yeah one's just for like playing video games on one's just for horseplay yeah exactly one's just for jumping on the bed oh but i do i'd like i was telling uh willie let's say i'm like cosplaying as like a businessman who's like on like like on a business trip like i'm getting i've gotten like pretty casual with the front desk people like i will go down and like buy like a water bottle i'm like hey can i put this on there go we got you i'm like all right we know we understand you're like the markets are down today the uh the zander is the bartender we got to chatting on friday night he's a nice guy how often are you using the hotel bar it was just friday night so i was telling willie there's no

laundromat there so i had to go to a public one that was like half a mile down the road so like in between washes i was like just going back to the bar and just yep and like but it was kind of cool like i met a guy from australia who was like coming through you're like i'm also here on business yeah exactly okay i can i can be whatever i want do you have you you should start using it to like pregame I try to get my friends to have your buddies go over there and they're like it's it's like near the airport we're not going to your hotel come on man guys it'll be so fun like we'll get a couple beers drive 20 minutes this way and then we'll drive 40 minutes the other direction they're like no playing beer pong in the like business center yeah I'm imagining you

talking to a girl at a bar and being like oh yeah my pad is so sick I got a personal chef I got a personal wait staff like you would love it you should come back with me like I promise I live in i was thinking about that like if i was talking i live in a real place i promise i'm not like making up that i live yeah i feel like guys would do that like yeah i live around the corner but like i'm in a hotel they put me up in a hotel this week because you know they're doing construction or something they're so crazy bringing a girl back from the bar and her realizing it's a sheridan when you've been saying you live in la is very yeah i live in a uh high rise apartment i'm on the seventh floor great view of the city you should come check it out

do you eat the continental breakfast every morning oh this is insane they gave us uh they did give us like the breakfast tickets yeah and it's a pretty standard continental breakfast that gets the job done but if you didn't have the breakfast slip it's 27 dollars oh for literally just like eggs like the probably like powdered eggs like bacon sausage and then like you know like the fruit like yeah and they charge you 27 dollars like if if you wanted to come and like have breakfast you just post mates like good i know literally at that point like i'd so have you been eating it before work uh i did not this morning but saturday and sunday morning i feel like that would throw me because i don't i don't really eat breakfast before work i did an apple

this morning yeah for the first time in a while that was pretty cool throwing you i suck at eating apples now though like you know you haven't had like practice i just you know how you like uh you normally like kind of build it into that like cartoon apple core shape mine was just like a mangled mess by the it was like going out instead of like yeah yeah it wasn't good i i got a i got a coffee maker or we've had the coffee maker but i finally got the pods yeah it is a game changer i'm trying to be more frugal in 2026 i like that i'm drinking coffee at home and it's a nice reset i sat in my sat in my kitchen this morning and listened to some reggae and had a uh starbucks k-cup blend with an apple while my pants were in the dryer nice and uh that's just where my life's

at dude you're you're crushing i'm living the fucking dream i'm in a hotel my i've molded my apartment doing much better than i am oh dude i uh yeah i i think we have like a not mold but maybe like mildew issue in the dishwasher has that ever happened to you yeah we're now even though like i'm running the dishes i don't feel like they're clean yeah because it's like they smell it smells kind of funky in there so like this morning i got my coffee my coffee cup out of the dishwasher and it reeked and so i was just like oh i can't get a hand washing yeah so even after even after washing it i i can't do it didn't you say you were telling lucas you and your roommates got like a pretty decent settlement because you're like you're cold water or something

yeah how much did you get we got sharing that three grand i think that's pretty each no total it was not a very good deal uh we got here's here's what i would have done differently oh so we got three and then we got them to comp all the water bills that's pretty did you have to split that three grand with the twins or are they kind of one person they yeah they we have an interesting pay payout structure for them i like i put it in a trust for them and the thought is It'll just grow kind of on its own through like mutual funds and stuff or whatever, whatever else the beneficiary is investing. Yeah. Mainly stocks and bonds and stuff. And then I gave Zach his share in gold. OK. Yeah. Good. But yeah. So here's what I would have done differently.

I would have asked for a lot more money. Yeah. If they're accepting your first offer, you went too low. like we were like we'd like three thousand dollars please and they were like done it was like oh right yeah i would ask for like 12 lucas and i are trying to like i didn't want to make it a whole ordeal like it's been three months that we've been like sick every day because of the mold yours is also like mine was like it's just like a slightly uncomfortable yours is like you could yeah like lucas is actually i remember before i moved in like he would just always like call in sick and i'm like dude this guy's sick all the time horrible and then i moved in i was like all right there's definitely something wrong with this apartment and that was like six months

ago and it was it wasn't like too bad but then like really when winter hit i was like all right what are you just getting colds all the time yeah it's like i have like allergies like to cats and i've lived with a cat before yeah and it's just kind of like mild like sneezing and coughing and you know runny nose so like it's like that but have they found the mold or is it just still like a hypothesis um we i can't reveal too many details for legal reasons we've had a we've had a private mold guy come in and he's he's cracked it down and i don't think the the apartment inspections match what he found which i think is good for us like they didn't realize the extent that he found yep and so we're gonna i also think i'm gonna be moving out because i just i don't

want to live there in general if this is how they they operate you gotta get you gotta get your bread though so you send them an email threatening the fair housing we we have uh we have a lawyer who's who's like helping us draft all the emails and what jeez how much are you guys paying for all these like private mold guys and lawyers kind of old money you guys got yeah uh rose got that blue cheese like it would be cheaper to just break your lease and move uh yeah but then you can't get the settlement it's a flat 750 for the lawyer and 750 yeah damn so it's actually not really cheap not going through a lawsuit but just he said he'll get a settlement and he could maybe build in the 750 legal fee into what they pay so in theory if you guys get some like crazy mold money

though are you still going to be like you know working hard here probably not i'm worried you guys are about that crazy how much money you're gonna get that's what we're discussing i can't disclose too much in the case it's a you're at a you're at a club and they're like how'd you make your money like you're clearly balling you're like mold mold a lot of money and i'm gonna be dead by 50 my lungs are fucked pretty much i do dude i'm like really except reading into it like can like get in your brain and like really mess up i explained a lot yeah bro got the mold cold wait what is mold like uh like what does like what if mold infected your brain like what thoughts would mold have i think oh like it's got like it's like the damp stuff you'd be like running

to all the damp corners of the room yeah i'm just like we should get a humidifier hey lucas you should leave your stuff in the wash overnight before you move it to the dryer that's good it's better that way do you have any uh leftovers can you just leave them in the on the counter can you wet a paper towel and put it under my pillow before bed i like it we're still in the club voice for some reason yeah yeah we're all in the nightclub yeah because we created like the basement atmosphere where it's like really sweaty yeah down there that's how we like to keep it here's my just soak all your stuff every day yeah yeah just here's my i'm so like i just always have the sprinklers going on yes yeah sprinkler you're at it you're

at buffalo wild wing she's like ranch or blue cheese and you're like blue cheese that's what a mold pop would be caleb caleb um is there anything else we didn't talk about i think we covered it i mean watch the video do you have any questions andrew yeah well i'm kind of curious and i wanted to ask luces it's like how did you get your start as a producer what do you normally do because there's probably people that listen to this that are like that's the coolest job ever like i want to do something like that that are currently in college yeah um i knew a guy who worked here joe pomeroy and i just kept bugging him how'd you know him his uncle worked with my mom in the 90s really yeah i don't know if i knew that it was like a crazy like my mom made that

connection do like something at friday beers uga or no no oh but um wow his uncle worked with your mom in the 90s yeah they used to work like ge together he was in his 90s yeah it was two years ago he worked with my his uncle worked with my mom in his 90s yeah he's doing what do they do together they worked at ge general electric yeah and they stayed in touch yeah so he like random this is when i moved out here he randomly like hit up my mom and was just like catching up like trying to keep a good business relationship and made the connection that like we live what are He keeps snickering about over there. He goes, my mom, he was just trying to keep like a good business relationship.

And Andrew's like, business? Andrew thinks business is hilarious. He doesn't think it's real. But basically made that connection. So I was like, hey, Joe, like got coffee with him. And then just like every week, I mean, I was doing this to everybody. Like that's what you have to do in LA is just like pester people until you get a job. And I was originally brought on to do the text tracking Instagram memes, which I still do.

it's just one of my jobs that i still i didn't know that about yeah i still do it that's crazy and then kind of moved into editing the unscripted youtube with tanner and then have now moved from also editing into producing so i'm just kind of like wearing a lot of hats what did you study in college uh it was like georgia out of film schools entertainment and media studies okay it was like just kind of our production classes and you learn like like editing and all that stuff in college i like i knew it all before like the degree wasn't actually i didn't like learn new stuff that i didn't already know but it was like really good just to like do it get consistently yeah the connections like i know a bunch of georgia people out here yeah like all moved to la it's like the

connections were the biggest part of it honestly nice yeah so just keep trying bug people for coffee talk to your mom see who they know see if they have any uncle friends they have any uncle friends in their 90s joe pomeroy email joe pomeroy every week no joe at almost friday and so when you guys go to these bars like japan and uh epcot the setup is two guys with iphones right yeah yeah we're just shooting on iphones and you guys have like wireless mics right it's like it's like you're aware our secret sauce here it's like everyone's every video on youtube is gonna start using this and you guys you guys have like certain positions like is one person like an acam one person yeah cam one person on rusty one person willie like how does that work recently

it's always better when Lucas and I are both on the trips like when we did like Seattle and I'm like filming you guys but also like

trying to like figure out the next bar we're going like it's always better when we have both of us if the company can afford to do it

wait weren't you both in Seattle no that was thinking of bashing in Jackson they kind of feel like one

Lucas wasn't there it is funny I feel like sometimes it starts like A cam B cam and then by the end of the night

it's like alright I got Rusty you got I think it's like we'll like separate you're like i have to like there's a lot of points where you guys separate in this video so there's like really fun back and forth uh there's a there's a funny scene that you showed

me in the video that came out today where when i'm at the hotel like puking my guts out from the snake thing willie's like giving a confessional to lucas being like you know like rusty said he's gonna come back like i just honestly like i wouldn't blame him like i don't think he has i just don't think he's gonna be able to recover from this and then caleb has this shot of me and It looks like in a Nat Geo film where a shark is tracking a seal. I'm like 100 yards away, and you can hear you being like, he's not going to come out, and it's just like dun-dun-dun-dun. We're like tracking you.

That's awesome. Yeah, usually I'm on A cam, Lucas is on B cam. It was really funny on this trip. Lucas was just like, I'd be filming you guys, and Lucas is running back and forth across all the streets getting all the cool B-roll shots. You guys are the dream team. Yeah.

You guys compliment each other very well. We've made a good – and it's, like, been a long – like, trying to figure out, like, this machine that we have now, like, pretty – The four of us together has been a dream. Yeah. It's been very – They got the same, like, mold brain. Yeah, exactly. I feel like they kind of work on the same way.

The mold, like, spores, like, communicate with each other, like, in The Last of Us. It's, like, the funniest. We don't have to talk. We just know what we're thinking. like you guys are put only speaking english in front of us to like keep up the facade but then like behind the scenes like clicks back you both have like mold tumors that like keep an eye out for like other bars to go to like oh ango sagaguchi preferred this bar over here my mold is my mold is speaking to me he says go east um another fun part about like filming these

videos is like it's not actually a hard thing but finding the balance of like we want like because we like to cultivate you guys want to feel like we're all hanging out so we are like drinking with you but like having to keep a good pace where like we're not the same level as drunk but you guys still feel like we're part of the crew at the same time i think that having a slightly buzzed cameraman does way more good than harm where it's like because otherwise they like lose interest and you can like see it in their faces it's like hard to talk to them because then it's like oh this sucks you guys are also on the same page yeah to a much like slower degree about like what we want the night to look like like you if we're hammered and you're sober our instincts

might not make sense to you right but you guys having a little buzz you're like yeah it's a great yeah yeah it's funny on the epcot ones or like the disney seas one or universal whatever like when willie and i are going around we've gotten like a good rhythm of like like for every one drink we have for every two drinks we have you guys have like one or three to one whatever and so like at every third stop we get four drinks yeah every other single one we get two oh i love working with you man it's a good time it's a it's we have the hardest job in america yeah and i sometimes i wish i was working long shifts with my aunts with your aunts with my aunts in the colony i feel bad that i left my colony behind is what i'm trying to say what

what does your aunt do my aunts all right and then well one last question so do you guys get a lot of people coming up to you like seeing you film and being like oh what do you guys why we did that's why we switched to iphone yeah no one notices nobody notices because when you're on iphone people assume it's just like for personal yeah okay we used to do i mean there was a point where we had like boom guys and like full cameras and it just like is impossible to not hijack the vibe when especially we're going to like bars and restaurants and stuff like if you walk in with that everyone starts acting differently right now like i would say 90 it's very rare for someone to even notice that we're yeah it's like a non-issue because it's like

everybody is just filming right all the time anyway right yeah the the iphone thing has been has made it so much more enjoyable because we just go into places it's not like i always felt so brutal going in with a full camera crew yeah even like a dslr like something like yeah even smaller than these cameras like it just makes it impossible to have like authentic conversations with people because they're like feel like they have to be on but people let their guard down with an iphone it's like not invasive at all yeah i think we we still want to switch to like we have gopros on and it's just a full like three hour night out pov you're hanging out with gopros just strap pov you're at the bar with us which that'll be our patreon exclusive so

caleb and i have a mutual buddy uh that he grew up with and then i went to college with and we always joked because he would disappear for like hours in the night and i think like how this conversation started is we would always be like i wish we could strap a gopro to colin and just like see where he goes and then that would we were like we should do that for an actual video or like i was thinking about getting the meta glasses yeah the meta glass and like towards the end of the night we cut to like rusty cam like that conversation with yoshi would be so funny from like yeah just like in a guy's face i have a question do you go to centennial high school i did yeah there was something last night the seahawks head coach mike mcdonald that's what

was yeah and then he was interviewed by maria taylor after the game who was also centennial alumni there we go how many kids were there uh at centennial yeah 2000 dude it's like a big yeah it's public school in roswell we were laughing about um do you remember when you're or i was laughing you remember when you bought max brosmer yeah we were like look through there and you're like is that vikings backup quarterback yeah and i was i was i didn't actually what i was saying I started him in fantasy, and he, like, fucked my team. Yeah. But I was just picked, like, a schedule where it's like,

this is so fucked up. But, like, you know, there's, like, the dad with, like, the, like, Larry Nassar thing where he's like, just give me 10 minutes. Oh, yeah. He's like, no, no. And then he just jumps over it. Take me with the guy who fucked my fantasy team.

Give me 10 minutes with him. Give me 10 minutes with Max Brosnan. He's like, you know I can't do that. And then I just jump over and start wailing on him. hey he lost to the uh super bowl winning defense so yeah that's true he didn't play one game against the seahawks uh that was like the game that was the game in question but he did start against the lions on christmas day and got them the w that they won yeah oh that's cool the our uh caleb and i's like mutual friend you guys had given him the nickname murder yeah when he was in high

school it kind of looks like murder beats and he like tried so hard to not let that come out in college that that was his nickname and then he said he showed up to his first lacrosse practice and one of the older guys was like you kind of look like murder yeah shut the fuck up shut the fuck up and then that's like i think i've called him call into his face like three times yeah i don't know who murder beats is i'm gonna be honest uh you know the funny thing is in high school i don't even know who that was i just knew our friend as c murder because that's what people called him and it wasn't until talking to rusty that he was like yeah it's because he looked like murder beats i was like oh that's why we called him doesn't really no i started calling him murder

before i knew who murder beads was yeah and then we i saw it and i was like that's kind of an insult to colin because colin's not like a maybe like i don't know maybe in high school but have you ever seen his i guess you were on his team but his high school highlight tape is unbelievable yeah i probably edited that he was that's how i got started editing was doing high school lacrosse highlight tapes you should do one for me can you do like ai like ai what's up with ai it's like all that what'd you guys think of the commercials yesterday i'm gonna be honest not very many of them or i can't even really remember many i hate how they're all now just like we paid a bunch of celebrities to like stand in front of a green screen and promote like crypto coin yeah i liked

the budweiser one that was cool was that the freebird one yeah i thought uh what was the one that uh was it star wars like it looked like it was gonna be the budweiser commercial with the Clydesdales and then it zoomed through the fog and it was actually like those creatures from like the snow planet in

Star Wars like pulling a I might have missed that one Mike does this the Mandalorian commercial maybe yeah

there's a baby Yoda versus Rogu is that a show coming out it's a movie really yeah

that commercial it looks horrible good it doesn't sound I think it looks horrible you know what I never made it

that far in the Mandalorian I didn't love that show it's the first season's great I don't know why it's no Andor

yeah yeah I think I don't like like mercenaries sometimes what's a mercenary bad guys they're like assassins like I don't like like solo that movie because by the end of it you're like there's no one to root for yeah but he's like

he's like a lovable bad guy wait are like the fets mercenaries yeah kind of like bounty hunters are kind of like mercenaries or I just don't like I think I'm like kind of a slut for like an objectively good guy yeah but i think that's why i think at this point mandalorian has become that like he started out

like kind of like maybe i didn't operate in this gray area yeah but now like he's like a dad to baby okay and like he's like breaking bad um yeah also and or i feel like there's a lot of ambiguity there that's like you're also in the i feel like he's objectively a good guy though he's objectively a good guy but he's also like killing people but he's motivated by like okay i guess he's at least like motivated by like uh like altruistic yeah like a real belief in a cause and that i find really compelling i don't like but like he's a mercenary at first you're right he is like a gun for hire and he slowly develops you're right you're right but it always feels like he has that no i know for the empire that's sort of even when he bad even when he denies it he is yeah

no you're right i don't know maybe this is a bad take because you're right i like bring bad No one's good in that Yeah Except You know how I feel about Anakin Walt Junior Yeah, Walt Junior's good Hank's kinda good

Eh Hank could be Big rock guy Yeah A big what? Rock guy Like the Oh yeah, he loves

He loves the rock Oh, like Dwayne the Rock Yeah It's like a whole season Where he gets really into the rock Shut the fuck up When he's bedridden And he keeps like ordering the rock

Yeah, he's like watching like Yeah, it's Oh, oh, oh, oh He's really into, like, geos. Yeah. I have three episodes left in the whole show. Oh, really? Yeah.

Watch Better Call Saul next. Okay. Those shows where they make you dislike the person who's just being a normal guy. Yeah. Always kind of, like. Yeah. I. Yeah, yeah.

Like, Hank's, like, kind of doing all the right stuff. He's, like, doing his job, like, kind of fine. And, like, he's, like, operating within the law for the most part. And we're all just like, fuck you. Well, he's a fucking moron, though. Yeah, he is kind of dumb. Like, the fact that he's, like, a jock, you know? It's also just, like, it's, yeah.

Wait, why is he a moron? Like, the fact that he didn't realize it was a moron. He's kind of like a meathead. Yeah, but it's kind of like when you're watching Traitors or, like, something, and you're like, how do they not see that it's this person? It's like, we know. Yeah, you would never. Yeah.

The funny thing about Breaking Bad, like, Skylar is notoriously, like, a hated character. She's just a wife who doesn't want her. But she's doing exactly what. Wait, I don't hate her. it's like most like really bad like toxic fans are like she's the worst like she's so i feel like yeah she's doing exactly what anyone would do and then he goes like above and beyond she's like you know what no if you're gonna do this i'll like yeah help you do it safely spoiler the best move i'm at the point she just told him to kill jesse yes even yeah that's like she's gone too far yeah

the best uh i've been getting these memes lately don't spoil anything that i'm breaking bad if Skyler wasn't there and it's like they're all hanging out all the characters like barbecuing and having beers Gus and Walt

like tanks on the grill yeah oh man uh Caleb do you wanna should we just have Caleb stay for the rest

of the yeah Joe might as well can I go to the bathroom yeah please you guys do that

like all the time I just wanted to like yeah you can do it yeah it's like our thing are you going too I'm just gonna fill my water bottle alright guys this episode

is brought to you by Bear Bells. Willie, what? Bear Bells. Come on, Bear Bells. That's a new slogan. What is? Slogan is also

the name of the company. Willie, what is on your Valentine's Day wish list? There's a few things. Number one, the touch of a woman. Not going to get that

this year, unfortunately, even though I thought this would be the one year I finally would. But, we're all going to move to Europe. Anyway,

and number two is Bear Bells. Come on. So that one's going to deliver. These things are gas. They are protein bars and drinks and all sorts of... Come on. My favorite flavor is the peanut butter and jelly.

I've been going ape ass on these. They've got stickers. Look here. You want a sticker? It's a star. Please. Star. And you can put these on and you can eat the Bearbells.

I love the cookies and cream one. It's also gas. I love the peanut butter and jelly. That's sort of their new John. it's like i guess the new viral one yep um guys they're the number one protein bar in the u.s bear bells are protein bars with 20 grams of protein no added sugar and they they truly taste like a candy bar uh they're the most delicious way to get your protein you can get them at target you can get them at walmart vitamin shop gnc and many other places and you can eat all of the bars

at once or you can do them all separate over a bunch of days or whatever you want but it's the world if you want a health conscious valentine's day gift give the gift of bear bells it's the most goaded protein you're ever gonna get they got cookies and cream chocolate dough cookies and caramel and peanut butter guys if you're looking for a valentine's day gift for someone who's into fitness bear bells has 20 grams of protein no added sugar and it actually tastes good use code playdate for 15 off at bearbells.com let's get back into the episode all right we're back we'd uh road map time caleb's gone by the way he actually has to go he needs money i guess we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your business pitches followed

by our pitches that's right then we're gonna do this guy rocks followed by teach me something and then willie and i are gonna do new girl plots that don't exist followed by mafia nicknames that don't exist let's do it andrew and i have a special segment and andrew and we're gonna do am i the asshole confessions and and red flags and red flags oh i thought we cut them loose we used to have a podcast at a company called red flags i ask people to dm their situationships red flags okay and i'm gonna read them out to you guys and you guys are gonna determine if it's a deal breaker or not in the relationship okay cool okay i want to say happy valentine's day to all the beautiful women out there but mostly my girlfriend laura come on come on all right

number one goes by a nickname around everyone and refuses to tell me their real name known them for like a year red flag he refuses to tell her his real name red flag committed a crime you think his real name well okay you guys decide though if that's a deal breaker or not oh if his real name is like oj simpson he yeah he has to tell you his real name deal breaker god yes guy you're seeing has to tell you his real name coming from a guy who who uses a nick yeah okay he sleepwalked naked to the living room not a deal not a deal breaker that's kind of funny funny story uh he's gonna be an awesome time to hang out with yep he thought thanksgiving was an intimate holiday so he didn't text me that whole day uh not a deal breaker but a weird weirdly he cares too much

about thanksgiving but is he american if he's not american maybe that was like really respectful not a not a deal breaker i i think he's i think he's gonna be a very loyal boyfriend if you ever make him that yep okay he has a framed photo of his ex in his house um is this about paul mescal uh i don't know have you seen this no like there's this photo i think even i think gracie abrams might have been the one who posted it but paul mescal in his house has a framed photo of him and daisy edgar drones like from normal people oh did they date in real life no but they were like always kind of like linked as like oh and he always talks about like how much he loves her and like if like it's just like a week like a framed photo of you look can

you google it that's just a co-worker if they didn't yeah but if there was a framed photo of like me and binder in my house that's different it's not it's even worse because they like i think they like hook up in the show i haven't made it that far yeah that's pretty weird it's a very like have that of you and a different woman in your house it's pretty weird would you like there's no way he has a girlfriend he gracie abrams is in that photo that's a it was from i think gracie abrams story oh who is his girlfriend okay that's gracie uh i would say for the person that wrote in on this though uh i bet this is what they're referencing if he's joking it's funny if he's not that's weird no i think it's weird no matter what what if it's like what if it's like a framed photo

of her but it's a dartboard for him to throw a dart that's also deal breaker darts would bounce bro needs to move on definitely a deal breaker okay not current but i used to see a guy who didn't have hand soap when i asked him about it he said he just doesn't need it anyway guess who got a uti after that well you gotta at least have it here's my thing about the soap you need you need to and i'm not saying i wash them every time i go to the bathroom but i do most of the time and even if i didn't i would still keep so you have to at least create the illusion that you're going to do you wash your hands every time of course i'm a guy every time i'm a guy yeah i do it every time that's impossible every time you i guarantee i bet i'm a hundred percent

wash rate over the last no i believe you because you have like a tick yeah you do it every time you pee well guess what i'm uti free too so we're guys we can't get you i'm a uti freak no you guys wait if you're like right no if you rub shit on the tip of your penis i'm pretty sure you could get one google if you rub shit no guys can definitely get that yeah if you like hold your pee but also you're right i didn't know that thing well i am utf-3 i try i do it i do it probably more times than i don't but i will say i'm not like peeing on my hands i'm barely even touching my penis i think more it's just like an opportunity to wash my hands i love washing my my penis is the cleanest part of my body oh mine's probably i also i think there's a chance

i i right here i pee more without touching my penis than i do with it with touching my penis i unzip my pants or i pull my pants down over and you don't hold it no i mean it's pointing at the toilet oh my point is up oh when you're like hard i'm always hard yeah i'm peeing on my hands so that's why i have to wash them i just don't yeah i but yeah for the for the record you need to at least have soap at your house agreed deal breaker deal breaker deal breaker okay sleeps on his back in silence cool do you want him to kind of swagging noise where's a mummy wait what do you mean what does she mean in silence silence she wants a snorer on his stomach sometimes sleeping on your back's the healthiest way to sleep yeah second healthiest is suspended

from the ceiling like a bat actually fun fact about the handsome thing when the first night i spent at lauren's apartment way back when she didn't have like a towel to wash her hands on i guess she just would wash or dry her hands on like her bath towel that's what i do most of the time and i won and if it's if it's already in the if it's like in the laundry basket then i just have to wait until like she didn't even have like a place for it to go though and i asked her about it and she apparently i now know got really like tweaked about it like that day ordered like a hook and a towel and the next time i came she installed a hook on the wall yeah i don't have a hook i have the shower i have the shower yeah she did she did it is funny for a guy to call out

a girl for hygiene hygiene say hygiene say hygiene hygiene no i wasn't even trying to call her out i was like hey do you have a towel to dry my hands on and she was like uh wait you wouldn't just instinctually use her like shower towel i think that's like a little weird if it's her shower towel but your hands are clean yeah i know i just i don't know i was new to her i was just asked like i thought she might have one like oh it's over here i will say when i when i i kind of like when our office is out of paper towels because then i can walk around with wet hands and like be like very performative about the guy who just washed his hands you can walk around and be like has anyone seen paper towels and you're like holding them out like this yeah you try to milk it so

you can go the rest of the year without ever doing it yeah all right i think can you google like what what percentage of the time do people usually wash their hands after peeing for the record if i'm at like a restaurant i'm gonna do it but if i'm like just at home almost zero percent chance i wash after peeing 60 yeah observed behavior that's what i'm saying who's who's watching you i think you'd be surprised if you're at someone's house or like at the office do you let the water run still even though you don't wash your hands so that people think you did i'm gonna sit there yeah if you're doing that at that point just wash them right you're gonna sit if i'm gonna sit there no i i no i never fake it unless i actually did fake it pretty recently i was getting

my hair cut and i went to use my the bathroom before i uh sat down at the barber shop at the barber shop and uh i was looking at something on my phone and i was already kind of like i was supposed to be in the chair and so after i peed i watched a reel while the uh sink ran and then i sat down in the gym wait what to make her think that i was washing them because it was why wouldn't you just wash it because i was watching something on my phone got it i think i would be worried about like coming out of the bathroom as the toilet is still like flushing that's where people would be like wait did you just not wash your hands the amount of times i hear the toilet flush and then the door immediately open in this office i'm there that's true there's

a larger percentage of people that are that are doing what i'm doing then y'all messed up y'all messed up for real so i i don't poop at the office i've probably done it 10 times really since we've been here i poop every day i poop once in the morning and then i get in the shower and i poop in the front bathroom that no one poops in damn really yeah i don't like those back ones i get like heebie-jeebies you poop in the one like by the bagels uh-huh whoa every day that's grosser than me me not watching after i pee why poop on our bagels when you open the door i know there's no one out there that's 100 except for you if you're 100 of the time you wear it you have nothing going on in your life if you if you get if you have time to do it every time i have a podcast i

have a house i have a guitar i have a bed i know dylan i know i know dylan i have time all right next one all right uh had an unexpected amount of pink toothbrushes for me being the only one oh wait what like ready to go pink ones like clean yeah yeah yeah like new like in a package that he is he slept with everyone at your college if he has if he has a pack of like toothbrushes pink toothbrushes for ladies to use that brother's getting around i had a pink toothbrush no but you didn't have a pack for people to yeah you're right pack of pink is a little sus bro's packing pink um and you know she packing pink you know she packing pink oh god um yeah red flag maybe not a deal breaker though because he's obviously probably pretty good at

at making love his b-day is on valentine's day and told me he isn't going to get me anything since it's his day that's a deal breaker selfish my brother's is the 13th is that anything birthday but she has to get if he's not going to get her if he's going to get her something she has to get him two things everyone on campus knows we're dating but my parents don't uh why is that a deal breaker wait is that your fault or their fault he's not going to tell your parents wait why can't you that's a little bit of both right if you're like if it's either you embarrassed are your parents on that's the thing it's like either he's embarrassed or she's embarrassed there were many people that i was with in college that my parents didn't know that

i think that's normal okay nor it's either red flag not or deal breaker or not or normal or so not a deal breaker not a deal breaker yeah uh always lifts his legs up when he farts and hates phoebe bridgers deal breaker you can go he's like he goes like yeah yeah that first part's funny the second part i don't think is a deal breaker but if you really depends on how much she likes her i really like her a lot he keeps his air fryer in his bedroom uh fire hazard i don't over the new categorization fire hazard i think that's fine well he probably has roommates that are like not cleaning it after i actually respect it and it's like he has like a whole ritual like he has to like take it out it's like changing of the guard

like he brings it out and then he makes his food yeah fire fire hazard he hung up his fantasy ultimate frisbee jerseys yes plural with masking tape to his walls as decor and also had a dog cage in his room he didn't have a dog okay deal breaker deal breaker ultimate phrase be i can look past dog cage no dog that's deal dog cage no dog is like i don't even know if it's a deal breaker i think you need to end it for like your own safety yeah yeah doesn't know how to use a washing machine uh opportunity to grow and learn not probably too young you could teach yeah you can teach him in an afternoon you can teach him in one minute that'd be a red flag on you it takes you could have taught him by the time you typed that out

he's 23 and drove four hours for a frat party uh legend that mean yeah coolest guy of all time is he still in college uh he's 23 now i was 23 after college so yeah maybe he shouldn't be going was it his frat wait we have a lot of a lot of questions yeah were there chicks there were there bad days there did he need i would say legend yeah okay viral legend uh didn't pay his bills until they shut off his lights just for fun he could afford it it's i can badass can tell you exactly where he's coming from he could not afford it didn't want to admit to you that he can cannot afford it convinced you that he was getting his electricity turned off for fun not a deal breaker because with that kind with that hustle and that work ethic those lights

are going to be on for a long time yes yes okay mid hangout he calls you by your roommate's name not once not twice but three times uh i think he has like a brain injury that's like almost impossible yeah in bed no just hanging out in conversation is like there's like he's he's having an aneurysm yeah aneurysm so are these deal breakers or no aneurysm that is not a deal breaker because i i think there's something like actually medically wrong with him yes okay puts the same socks and underwear on after he showers aneurysm or wait deal breaker deal fire hazard yeah what are the options it's either legend fire hazard aneurysm aneurysm deal breaker deal breaker red flag red flag uh i would say that is the grossest thing yeah why is he even showering

why yeah doesn't that ruin your whole point of showering yep okay so let me just say my boyfriend passed away in january 2025 deal breaker oh my god i'm so sorry i'm just saying it would probably be hard to all right keep going um i'm starting to feel more comfortable with this guy like we've been talking for three months and he doesn't like that i still love my dead boyfriend he thinks i'm cheating on him because i still think about him he said we can only date if i go to his grave and tell him it's over deal breaker deal that guy is a psychotic freak

i think that might be illegal what a fucking asshole uh deal breaker don't him not to have any empathy or understanding of like the grief and what you've been through like that guy is a do not date that guy he's a fucking psycho narcissist deal breaker and uh and frame him for a crime or something that guy needs to be off the street yeah dig him a grave and that's like or maybe not that that feels fucking crazy yeah what a loser uh there are people who like they're who are like married and their husband is still like participates in mourning the the previous person like that if so they died like yeah you're allowed to love that person for the rest of it 100 uh yeah deal breaker don't talk to that guy anymore also i'm sorry for the

thing at the beginning it's a good it was a good window i saw a window and i took it i'm sorry found my mom's instagram and followed it uh legend i think i did i followed my girlfriend's instagram without early or my girlfriend's mom's instagram yeah i think that's fine without asking you it's kind of if it was yeah if he was just doing it like for being nice that's fine but if he was doing it like a weird yeah if you've hooked up like twice then it's weird yeah but if you're like together yeah that's uh first three weeks of talking we're on linkedin dms that's awesome that's great yeah he's possible fire hazard i'm gonna say he's he's career he's career oriented that's good i like yeah you guys are on the same page uh puts his phone on airplane

mode when we hang out and he's a huge playdate fan green flag to the max that's actually airplane mode when you hang out is like that's love that's kind of an awesome move like like letting her know like i'm very present yeah oh i thought of it the other way that he's trying to hide notifications from other girls uh fuck fire hazard fire hazard aneurysm wait yeah aneurysm went on 50 first dates last year what is oh that's uh he's uh that guy does a tiktok series oh yeah 50 dates 50 states is that the same as 50 first dates i i don't know i think this person just went on 50 if he went on 50 first dates that's one a week with and he took a two-week vacation oh oh 50 first dates last year i thought it was like a tv show oh no no i think he went on 50 first no he went on like 50 dates

respect i mean one a week deal breaker because if not one of those 50 people saw anything worth going on a second date well how do you know he wasn't the one who didn't see it and he was waiting for his true i think that's fine i think i don't ever think people should be shamed for dating how many did he sleep what if he slept with all of them either way i don't care like you put yourself out there i don't know you wait till you find the right one right well we got really serious if he slept with everyone he'd be limping like a motherfucker thank you okay thank you it's all i wanted sorry you'd be limping all right that was all of them should we do confessions yeah all right wait can we do can i do my teach you something it takes two seconds

yeah you want to do it right now did you know jeffrey epstein won the power or won the lottery in 2008 for 85 million dollars is that real it's true sorry you can google it isn't that unbelievable how he got his money no no he was already filthy rich and then because were we just talking about like rich people buying lottery tickets and it's like oh because it's like if they were a penny for us yeah he won he won the lottery for 85 million dollars also i didn't google this second part so we can find out if this is true i heard that his pilot also won the lottery at one point okay so the lottery's rigged probably yeah that sucks can you google if the second part's true okay so his pilot did not but then google him

yeah look yeah i was about to say i feel like my pilot would be the last person i want to win the lottery because then he wouldn't work for me anymore he gave his pilot 10 mil when he died died also i think the pilot uh if i if i know anything about my boy jeff i would assume he probably had some can't call him your boy incriminating evidence that made it impossible for his pilot crew yeah a lot of people had evidence i don't know how he got his money how did he like become friends with a-listers he worked after working as a teacher one of his students fathers was the um ceo or president or something of bear stearns and so he became like a trader

there okay and then met um who the fuck did he meet he met like a one of the rockefeller kids and that guy put him on this like board and it was a whole the long story short most people think he basically got he was very good at getting these people into compromising positions and then was like give me you know a ridiculous amount of money to manage for oh he's like blackmailing people without yeah oh wow he didn't graduate college and then he got a job at the most like prestigious private school in new york which like doesn't make any sense he got fired after a year for poor for poor performance thing went worked at bear stearns he did not win the pilot did not win but the he did in 2008 all right valentine's day themed confessions confession

forgive me father for i have sinned i once googled why does my girlfriend have acne at the start of our relationship when i was breaking up with her two years later she revealed she saw it on my search history way back when i think about that every day wait sorry say it one more time when they first started dating he he googled why does my girlfriend have acne she saw it and sat on it for two years until when they broke up she brought it up that is so that's a weird thing to google because it fire hazard wouldn't really wouldn't really give you an answer why did you google that what yeah why does my girlfriend have acne it wouldn't know yeah it doesn't know anything about your girlfriend um i would say forgive yourself but that was an interesting thing to google yeah

yep forgive me father for i've sent one time when i was 17 i was a lifeguard me and my best friend used her period blood she was using a menstrual cup to make red velvet cake pops to feed to my ex at work except the next day we forgot them in the fridge so we thought nothing of it until one went missing and apparently her grandma and little sister shared one hell what you were gonna give your ex-boyfriend your period blood that's so fucking gross that is one of the grossest things have ever also is that real man what would your in what world would your ex accept the if he's if he's trusting you enough to accept these desserts that implies i feel like you guys broke up on good terms that's so fucking ass man that's like you're going to hell too

hell and jail hell and jail hell hell and jail hail hail hey oh that's bad that's one of the grossest things i've ever heard is that a true story that was a dm yeah oh all right next one all right in school a guy in my friend group moved away it was before social media so we had no real way of connecting with him i found out later he had a crush on me i told some of our mutual friends that he reached out to me and that we were doing long distance this was not true i was just texting myself and then sending screenshots to my friends this went on for an entire year during the summer i forgot about it next year his parents got divorced and he returned to our school i just never mentioned anything about it that's awesome that's yeah you're going to heaven that's hysterical

yeah you have a you have a uh childlike whimsy about did your friends not be like oh your boyfriend's back at some point you would have had to address that that's a good that would be a good like disney channel movie and then she has to like before anyone noticed she has to get him to actually start dating her before anyone's like i do like that yeah i used to love that disney channel movie when the parents are like hey we're moving and he's like cool i get to fuck over everyone at my school that i hate and so he like pulls all these pranks on his like teachers and his classmates that he hates and then at the end of the week his dad's like actually we're not moving and he has to like resolve all of the things that he did that's a movie what is it ant

farm yeah i still can't get over the period blood thing that's like are there people out there doing that i don't know i don't know a bit apparently there's one do you think if we gave all our money to andrew and left town forever that'd be fun i think it would go to his head pretty quickly all right sorry i think he'd get head pretty quickly or give head pretty quickly uh yeah i think that'd be fine yeah that'd be good all right next uh forgive me fathers for i have sinned it's been a while since my last confession when i was 12 i loved eating chocolate and my dad bought some ferrero rocher from my mom on valentine's day but they were willing to share with the family

Sneakily throughout the day, I would go and eat a ball from the fridge and hide the evidence. At the end of the day, my dad realized that there was way less chocolate than he had put in the fridge in the morning. He asked who ate the chocolate and we all said no. I have three other siblings. My dad was so upset we had eaten them during the day. He lined us all up on the couch and asked who ate them all together. And we all said it wasn't us. And my youngest brother was giggling and smiling.

So he took the blame for looking guilty. everyone jumped on to hit since he was a little overweight as a kid and he ended up taking the blame for eating them to this day my family still believes it was my youngest brother who ate all the chocolate that time and 15 years later i still haven't told them it was me and i might not ever yeah that's great you're going to heaven heaven also that's like what big brothers should eat 1000 you should also go get this valentine's day you should put that brand of chocolate in the fridge with a note that says it was never like jeremiah or whatever or say it or just say like from him and then he's like what the fuck is going on when we were when we were kids uh i peed on the

toilet seat yeah and my dad asked who it was and i said it was my sister casey which doesn't make any sense because the girl's peeing down he literally zero questions asked believe me and like reprimanded her dang i've always wondered can kids not stand up for themselves what can kids not just be like it wasn't me well that's what every kid's gonna say yeah i think this is true true aneurysm casey wasn't like how would that make sense i think she just was like she was like it wasn't me and they were like you were yeah you're up here on the toilet fancy it wasn't you're convinced um all right all right should we get into our drafting let's do it all right we got so we keep doing tv shows i haven't seen okay but they've been working

my new neighbor said she loved our modern family plots love it all my new neighbors know flan by the way really yeah from usc yeah flannery nice yeah how did that come up they we like follow each other on instagram and they're like oh flan oh nice oh flan were they detards before moving they listen everyone's a detard they just don't know it yet they just don't know it yet all right should we do new girl plots that don't exist yep these are new girl plots that don't exist when the loft's democratic process of deciding things isn't working the group decides the group decides to elect one person supreme chancellor of the loft who can make all the decisions schmidt takes control and enforces laws such as a dress code dietary restrictions for nick

and a penalty system for people who break the rules or are caught talking bad about him surprisingly everything is going really well the loft is clean there are no arguments and nick is doing really well with his new structured life the rest of the group decides that the power has finally gone to schmidt's head when they find a war map of their apartment building on his desk and it shows plans to invade the neighboring loft love it they live in a loft is that where they live right yes um the super bowl is coming up and nick and schmidt decide the only way they're going to get into the game is if they get hired as background dancers they succeed and jess organizes a big party to watch them the day of the event they the day of the event they show up

and realize they mistakenly got hired as background dancers for the tp usa all-american show jess and the party goers decide they must be one of the bushes because they can't really see him that's fantastic uh schmidt's also like a republican so is he yeah so he would maybe be like oh he'd be down yeah yeah uh but he was more of like a mitt romney republican mint romney mint romney and for the lady the mint romney winch mitt romney sorry winston pulls over nick for speeding nick insists that he wasn't speeding and even if he was winston should look the other way because they are best friends instead of paying the ticket nick represents himself in court and wins because winston's body cam shows that the radar gun actually picked up a bird flying in front

and not the car that nick was driving is winston a cop yeah got it towards the end uh an even newer girl drops and it totally fucks up the show it's just girl now okay uh no i liked that i liked that i like that Nick finds a bag of weed in the apartment and decides to go back or sorry Nick finds a bag of weed in the apartment and decides to get back into being a stoner he speaks mainly in Bob Marley quotes he is wearing his old drug rug from college and is just generally being obnoxious about his new Rasta lifestyle when Winston has had enough he confiscates the bag and quickly realizes it's actually a bag of basil and Nick has been placebo affecting himself and wasn't actually high when

nick finds this out he drops the act immediately that's awesome uh nick schmidt and jess are fucking or something i actually only had two the gang finds a new leather recliner on the sidewalk and brings it inside they are constantly getting into fights about who gets to sit and sit in it when they are watching jeopardy nick starts sleeping in it so that he doesn't lose his spot they're all leaving work early and neglecting responsibilities to make sure they get to the recliner before jeopardy starts they eventually get rid of the chair when they see a recall for it on tv because because it is made with a cancer-causing chemical i like that thank you that's a really good one yeah that might be your best one uh should we do mafia nicknames

that don't exist these are mafia nicknames that don't exist tommy stickers laprod wait i have a friend named crystal prod oh maybe that's why i thought uh tony two cups luciano because he always says two cups of coffee before he commits a crime that's good james slim jim salami i mean with a name like james salami what'd you expect tank stern but fair dilution and whatever he's like beating a guy up he's like i get it yeah he's like this makes sense he's like i fucked up boss terry tiny nails terciani he's got tiny fingernails but huge fingers pete no means no larusso that's good and he you know where he draws the line sam poop puke walnut yeah it's his worst punishment for his worst offenders

nikki four bows margaretty his elbows hinge each elbow or each arm has two different axes that it oh he can go like he's a general grievous yeah yeah trent viper Vipergnon. The first N's in N-Yay. He's like their token international number. Trent Vipergnon. Michael the sack Alfonso. He can't wear shorts.

Oh, he's all sack? He's all sack. That's awesome. We really love that you guys join us every week. I got Willie in Paris and I'm going gorillas. What? switch the n-word out for your name wouldn't be the first time come on what y'all know about that oh my god you should take a picture in paris and say and just make it willie's in paris

of course i'm gonna do that of course i'm gonna do that i'm dry so president's day is next sunday or monday all right thank you guys for listening thank you guys we love you we'll see you on monday peace happy president's day do you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life you know the same way you can skip an ad i get it i'm siaya and i live in ice cove I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today, I'm still figuring it out. Somehow, things usually get worse before they get better.

Apparently, that's how I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem.