Will & Rusty's Playdate - the game of telephone ruined my life

Episode Date: June 30, 2025

Will wonders if a movie will ever be made about them, and Rusty claims there are fewer than 50 people he needs to see for the rest of his life. The gang also talks about their Irish heritage, extroverts vs. introverts, and the smallest fish in the world. Plus, the boys draft slang words that don’t exist and share their favorite Fourth of July traditions. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP OUR MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/ RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg SUBMIT YOUR BUSINESS PITCH HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdPHd7Ps9TaX-TOozyLhDpr9Y7pFNMP9PX7cHuLxap1R78GWg/viewform?usp=header SUBMIT YOUR AITA STORY HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdQElfqdQutn3dzl5HcZfey6YWhbVd-n6XE7FkpfosWZyYhyA/viewform?usp=sf_link SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: HEAD TO https://guyfox.com/playdate AND USE CODE FRIDAY FOR FREE SHIPPING & $10 OFF YOUR PURCHASE RIGHT NOW! 00:00 Intro 12:05 Hot Date 17:01 Alex Cooper 22:49 How many people do you love? 34:30 Movie Talk 47:43 Roadmap 50:36 Pitch Submissions 01:03:28 Pitches 01:07:19 AITA 01:15:24 This Guy Rocks 01:19:07 Teach Me Something 01:24:36 Drafts #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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are we going oh fuck i'm in a fucking yeah you're in a pickle right now i got it i got it uh play date episode 118 peyton manning peyton manning team the manning jeremy curly show me jeremy curly i was that i have no fucking idea uh k-e-r-l-e-y this would be the snipe of the year 17. 17. That was pretty close. But we got it. We got it with Hidney.

I know, but I kind of want to guess a different one. Is that annoying? Colt McCoy. I feel like there is an 18 wide receiver. Oh, is it Marvin Harrison Jr.? There you go. Bang. There you go.

Shabuya roll call. That I never would have guessed. he's got one of the craziest faces a human's ever had he's goaded dude he's kind of been mid i think yeah i don't i i honestly forget about i mean he's their he's their best player i think besides kyler but galamari um all right lauren ask me about how my morning was how was your morning it was so good really i had i lived like a full day so i woke up at i slept in a little bit for me uh and i woke up and then i played played on my phone for a little bit but here's the kicker i had to sell my car to meet my guy at 10 to sell my car yeah which is an awkward time

because the street parking ends at 8 a.m i promise this story heats up what street parking the street sweeper comes down my street flan parked on the street so we had to leave at eight and we had to figure out two hours worth of things to do because she didn't work she doesn't have work because it's juneteenth we're the only fucking people i know that are working on juneteenth and i figured out why i figured out why you know we you know how we do you know why yeah can i guess yeah so i actually because we usually go off the wme calendar wme has today off i think edge took uh the day off and attacked it on to the july 4th because that's when he's going on vacation and so he wanted to have as many days off for vacation as possible oh maybe

i was gonna say it's because we have no black employees so no one's gonna complain no one has like a reason yeah but isn't it like shouldn't we be out supporting like black owned businesses and stuff oh 100 i just mean like they they want they wanted to have us work today and we're like well there's no one can be like excuse me yeah you know what i mean because it's like not personal to any of us there's no one here that's even close yeah it's a lot of like a lot of a lot of white people a lot of whites so but yeah they and and in the most in the whitest move possible they got rid of juneteenth and added a date of fourth of july it's one of the one of the crazier moves of the year but you know uh yeah in this political in this political climate this is going to come

out in like this episode is going to come out like the week of fourth of july though we're just We're just recording super in advance because Rusty and I are going to be in New York all next week. So, listen to this. We go to Layla Bagel. I love Layla Bagel. You know this about me. Yeah, yeah. While I'm waiting for my bagel, one of the employees went over to another employee, pointed.

I'm convinced it was directly at me. Pointed directly at me. The other employee made eye contact with me and then belly laughed. and that didn't make me feel very good because i was like i was just sitting completely normally i was like there's what could i possibly have been doing and so i told fan like enjoy this enjoy this bagel we're never coming here again and uh seems like the rational move there i don't know it made me really uncomfortable it's my favorite i was just like that was weird i don't want to be here ever again and so i said like enjoy it this is the last time where i'm ever

coming here so you can get it on your own and then in the car ride she she was very calm for little bit and then she was like we can't just every time because this is i this happened like two or three times it happened with my old coffee shop yeah and she was like every time it's like a small thing happens you can't just be like we're never going wait what happened at the coffee shop uh i actually i kind of forget the gist the gist of it was too many people started going there and were really rude and then something happened with my with my scone and i said to hell with you i'll i'll start i've literally with your scone i think i asked them to heat it up and they didn't and uh it i now that i'm saying a lot it had to have been more than that

it had to be i don't know if it did i don't know if it did have to be more it had to have been something more than that but i i literally just started drinking i just drink an accelerator or i or i don't drink i rarely go down to starbucks and get a coffee i used to drive every morning i probably gave i was probably there i probably spent more money at that coffee shop than anyone in brentwood wait star i thought it was like a local spot cafe luxe oh yeah and i stopped i stopped on a diet i would go i would go six days a week damn uh i respect it i guess i how do you You think the Layla lady was like, ha, ha, ha, ha, look at that guy? That's what Flan said.

It doesn't make any sense. That's what I said. But I'm saying all I know is I know what I saw. We made eye contact. Well, what if she likes the podcast? I was like, oh, that's the podcast. No, no, no, it wasn't like, oh, it was like, ha, ha, ha, ha. What would she be doing then?

I don't know. That's what made me so uncomfortable. If I was wearing some crazy hat, I would have been like, thank you. But it was the fact that I was sitting completely normally. and then when we got in the car i realized my fly was down so it could have been that no way she'd be like that happens all i know is all i know is i think i'm gonna go back but if i get pointed out and laughed again i'm throwing my bagel at someone not even the person who pointed i'm just gonna be an agent of chaos uh pretty women then oh yes i've never actually seen that

i was about to say i was like it's all i'm always amazed by the movies you have the office yeah thing where dwight gets pointed at and laughed at and then they find out they go it's exactly this premise no no he gets asked to leave no he gets laughed at and he was like they mocked me they made a mockery out of me and then they they're everyone's like that's bullshit and they go to help him like pretty woman them whatever that means he was covered in deep juice and then they find out that yeah he was covered in blood so we're gonna go back there and find out you were like wearing like a crazy like crazy outfit i was wearing exactly this and nothing else big just this bee's nest on your head no a hornet okay so i go to the jeep dealership yeah i'm

waiting for my guy and i have no idea what he looks like i've just talked to him over the phone this is a guy that's buying your guy's buying my car but he does not work at the jeep he does not working the jeep dealership the jeep dealership fixed or attempted to fix my car yeah and told me it was going to be eleven thousand dollars to fix so we said we'll sell it the old man there's a an old sounding man that is buying it over the phone i have no idea what he looks like and he just sounded very sweet and he had kind of like a high ish pitched voice maybe like a pep in his step he sounded like he had a pep in his step he just sounded kind of like a sweet old man and so i i'm like i feel like i'll recognize him when he gets here yeah a guy like a cowboy

like drifts into the parking lot like cowboy hat like crazy big sunglasses like rugged looking face jeans cow like he just looks like a cowboy whatever and he's kind of like click clack click clack click clack and i was like there's no way it's that guy and then he was kind of standing there for a second and i was like i couldn't really remember the guy's name either so i didn't want to make it i was gonna wait for the guy to come to me and then he comes in he goes there's no way you're jack are you and i was like i am and then we went out and did it and he took two looks at the car broke off three thousand dollars in cash handed it to me and i just walked away it's pretty sweet it was awesome what are you gonna do you're gonna deposit it i don't have

a bank out here so i just have i think you can do it at the atm i just have that's why you asked three thousand dollars in cash which is smaller than i would have thought this doesn't feel like three thousand dollars but it's all hundreds well that's what happened to me on the margaritaville cruise is i got i walked out of there with fifteen hundred dollars in cash yeah and i don't know what to do with it you still have it yeah well you can't go to an atm because it'll charge you a fee three bucks or something no i think it's like a percentage of the thing isn't it i don't know what can you is there a fee to deposit fee to deposit cash atm uh i don't think that's a thing

if you use a if you use an outside it looks like it's like the same fee yeah my closest bank is in like it's like 50 minutes away i got there's no banks i mean i haven't even i got so far and that's like their whole thing they got the best interest rates but they got no banks i mean the here's the thing the only it's all online cash this is the first time i've had cash in a while outside of like a couple ones to play pool but i didn't i kind of thought i fucked up at first because i was like mate like what if it's fake whatever like i'm not good at like adult stuff so i called my dad and i was like he paid me in cash is that all right and he was like yeah cash is the best and i was like okay should i deposit apparently you can deposit up

to ten thousand dollars at a time without your bank having to report it so you can i can go into i have a wells fargo investment account but i don't i don't know if you can just go in and deposit it i might keep it cash and then put the deposit on my next car in cash when i lease it oh yeah that could work yeah or you could um make it rain at the strip club lauren you ever been to strip club i haven't really i think you'd hate it why it's really it's really sad it's really sad It's not the stripping that's sad It's the other guys The stripping is the coolest part about it

It's the only thing Those buildings have going for them The clientele that is in there It's just guys In Paper thin sweatpants Ready to Big hats like the Kentucky Derby

Yeah there is a weird dress code It's like suits And big fancy floral hats we took a girl uh when i was in college there was our friend caroline overheard that we were going to dancers yeah and i don't think she totally knew what it was she was like oh i want to go i want to go and we were like you don't want to go to dancers she was like i want to i want to we were like it's a strip club she's like i want to i want to and then we took her there and she walked in and she saw all the girls and started crying and i had to take her home why'd she start

crying she said their boobs were way bigger than she thought they were gonna be which to the in there in like when people see the gray canyon they're just like so like overwhelmed by the size they start crying i think it was like a it was a drunk drunk girl has to face like any any body stuff that you might be i don't know it was weird she was overwhelmed by the amount of tata's been there or sorry not the amount the volume the sheer weight yeah i saw lauren last night can we talk about it sure i saw lauren last night hot date she was on a hot date i was on a hot date a five person date you wait i don't understand was yours actually a date no it was just three girls two guys when i walked up i was trying to decipher i'm like so it's a double date

and then someone tagged along what's yeah no it was just we were just with our friends but it was this there's like a new new wine bar so cute i'm obsessed what is it only the wild only the wild ones which is kind of cringy name for sure only the i know dreamers no no for the record the believers i'm not i'm not shocked that youtube ended up there at the same time like that is a very i'm neither of us had ever been there that's a name recommended it to me i'm saying that's a name that i feel like would get both of you like hook line and sinker now i yeah i mean i great great music i shazammed like three songs the bathroom had disco yeah it was fun the bathroom was a disco theme discotheca but it was good yeah i had some wine what did you drink i had the

cheapest wine on the menu i had rose oh did you get any food they had good food no i don't even know we got you got the cheapest wine yeah i don't know enough about wine to to care yeah i guess that's better than like i used to pretend yeah like and like get like the second or third cheapest and it's like there's no reason i got literally the cheapest wine on the i just ask at restaurants now i just asked the waitress what's your favorite yeah but they the girls i was with asked and the guy just recommended the most expensive one that's that's rare usually they're like usually they give you like one in each price range yeah yeah i don't think our waiter liked us for some reason ours it never came yeah our guy once an hour oh that's the fucking worst yeah i

mean it was fine that happened to me that happened to me at uh evilly in west hollywood and they fucking closed now and i'm so happy about it you got them shut down i i mean the only like when i heard they when i heard they closed it was the least shocking thing in the world we showed up yeah and the we were there for three hours not because we wanted to be just because the waitress only came twice yeah that's horrible um we should call them like um bomb threats to small businesses totally we've had this exact conversation really many many yeah we're the bad boys of yelp remember yeah no no just many episodes ago i know i was referencing is that what you're yeah we're the bad boys of yelp lauren we're gonna review small businesses until they close

perfect yes well only bad i that's like just because you're a small business doesn't mean you get to get away with no but then we're then it's gonna be like killing like you know they start with killing people they hate and then some then they kind of get hooked on just killing and start killing randoms like right it's so hooked to shutting down businesses that we just start doing it for the love of the game it's kind of like uh it's kind of how like terrorism groups start or like hackers yeah they're like you know let's take down the big let's take down the big bad guy right and then you just get you get hooked lauren all right question about your date was he nice to service workers very because he works and i'm not gonna actually say what

bleep it he's a like he's a server right now too that's like a side thing does he want to be an actor he's in like cinematography i've met him he was nice nice he's handsome is he really mm-hmm was he dressed well his body was tea his body was tea you know whose body was tea who did you watch the episode of love island i don't watch the host came out and her her body was t according to flam is what she said um you guys think my body's t yeah no you don't you just fucking lied well you asked me this last week and what'd you say i said yeah so you lied twice i didn't lie i didn't say anything just now i think i just stared through your soul i was like wait you you went sir do you think that there is ever gonna be a movie about

us no well i mean what counts as a movie i bet a documentary it could be in order if we like these are horrible and they're like did you know that those guys that i shouldn't have brought it what there's never gonna be a fucking movie about us is that a goal of yours shouldn't have fucking brought it up they're never gonna make a film about me or us or like anything we do it's probably just gonna be fucking movies about action heroes and space movies i will say i think that kind of like uh kind of like the social network like the only way you and i would get a movie is if we were painted in a bad light like i don't think there's yeah we would have to if we kept on our current trajectory or we get just had us no no success in the same way like wrote joe rogan's the most

famous podcaster of all time he's not gonna get a movie about him no he might it someday but who would watch a movie about a podcast fuck well well kind of in that light alex cooper just came with a documentary yeah i had a movie about a podcast i had i'm very excited or was did flan watch it with you no i was watching it alone i was actually very you can in a couple episodes ago i said i was really excited to watch it oh i think she's fascinating i think that uh i think it was a little i didn't make it very far so i can't speak to the whole thing i think the beginning part was just a little a little cringy for me in the sense that they were kind of making they shot it the same way a musician would shoot they're like preparing for a tour

and that kind of threw me off because it is like it just felt like they were maybe making a bigger making it seem more important than it than it was and the way they were talking about it made it seem like there was like a lot more gravity to this situation than wait so what situation just her like going on a podcast tour i don't know oh it was just a little she seemed New from Nespresso. Blend wellness into your coffee routine with the Coffee Plus range, infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like Coffee Plus B12 to help support immune function and Coffee Plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose Ginseng Delight, our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you.

Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com. great in it i just think the way it was shot yeah i think that's and the way they were the way they interviewed her was a little cringy for my taste i haven't seen it i could see that for sure but i i well it's always hard to like making something like that to someone who's like still actively doing the thing too it's like yeah like i feel like it never it does always come across as a little like self-indulgent or like cringy or like something where it's like totally she's yeah like you kind of have to go yeah once it's she her career is done then you make that kind of thing or something yeah i don't even know if the tour has like yeah it was just it's kind of

it would like if the bob dylan movie came out while bob dylan was young it'd be weird yeah or like i don't know prepping for a podcast tour is like inherently kind of probably awkward to watch even in real life yeah so if you like film it and try and make it this big dramatic thing it seemed i don't know but she seemed she comes off very cool and normal yeah well and i think it's pretty i mean i didn't watch it either but she i've only seen clips but she spoke out about the sexual harassment that her soccer coach seems crazy yeah i only saw the clips though yeah did they talk over the Mets at all? No.

Not that I know of. She dated Noah Syndergaard. Was that who it was? Did they reference it, but not say anything? I've heard stories where he would come over to her dorm

and sleep at her dorm when she was at BU. Oh, really? Yeah. Or like one... She did date Thor. That's something. She's so out of his league.

It's insane. Whoa, whoa, whoa. His fastball? I was about to say, I don't think you know. Wait, what? I think he's, I think if anything, at the time, she was probably out of his league. Or sorry, he was out of her league. I think they were in each other's league.

Could not disagree more. This guy was a, wait, ace pitcher for the Mets. Okay, look up Noah Syndergaard. You're joking. Look up Noah Syndergaard fastball compilation. He makes millions of dollars in shoot. I don't think he's hot at all. He looks like Thor.

okay that's i i think you're i think you're in the minority there oh okay look up no but he also he also is a multi multi multi-millionaire and like a world class after noah cinder guard highlight wait i don't care no this is oh wait never mind lauren doesn't care why would i want to watch this look at this now yeah oh he was on the mets yeah he was like supposed to be the man and then he he just got not as good we probably don't want sound

yeah we'll just look at that see threw that one a little bit low inside but I mean it was a good it had good velocity I'm pretty sure

yep look at that I don't think I've ever been into a blonde in my life sorry about the blonde wasn't your last boyfriend a blonde

no he's like light brown dirty blonde uh yeah i've never been a big blonde guy either except for sometimes okay well i just realized like once i said that if i have i have dated people yeah bad blonde hair so i guess i like i like p you know what lauren i i guess what i'm saying is i'm more into their soul uh i'm yeah i i personally will say that again tell her again i

that's sinking in yet yes oh my god you ever seen a picture where it's like let that sink in and it's the sink from like a kitchen he's at the front porch he's at the door i feel like a rock star right now really yeah can't be an accelerator i feel like a fucking yeah i feel like the opposite of whatever that is i feel like one of those cool rock stars so if i feel i'm the bad boy podcasting no one's being real give a fuck about that can would you rather would you rather uh have a hundred million all right let me rephrase you get a hundred million dollars right now deal but you can all you can oh i actually thought of a better thing you get a hundred million dollars but you can pick you can only pick a hundred people that you can see

again outside of just like passing on the street would you do it wait what the fuck you can only see a hundred people for the rest of your life like in terms of like hanging out or like going to dinner can i go like travel or no what you can do it i'm saying besides like passing someone on street doesn't count but like you can only talk to a hundred people you can can you like a what about like a waiter no no that doesn't count strangers strangers don't count but like you couldn't invite the waiter over to like bang okay then i'm out the only thing you have one very specific waiter in your mind and that would ruin everything i would do almost anything for a hundred million dollars that's a real i would not do that actually i don't know if i there are even

100 people that i like you like 100 people surely that's not true i like way more than 100 people i probably like 400 i mean dude there's like yeah okay how many do you love you probably love 20 no i probably love like 100 yeah you love 100 people for sure all my fam okay your family all my family all my family all my friends is a lot of people all your family's like i think all my family is under 20 people your cousins aunts and uncles i have parents all right ready i have three aunts i have two uncles no i have zero uncles now because all of them got divorced so i have zero uncles three i'll be like they got divorced you don't love them anymore they're not related to me i don't i'll probably never see them again no but

that's not the question okay yeah you know what i mean i'll probably never see i mean like i haven't i still love that six divorce from my aunt i have seven cousins so that's 10 and then i have my immediate family which is five so i have 15 people in my family total oh and then four grandparents i have 19 people so under 20 i was right i think i have like 90 people in my family yeah how is that possible because like i'm close with my second cousins too and yeah i guess i had dinner i had dinner with my second cousin two nights and you don't love them i love him i just see him 20 i've seen one every i see him once every three years okay i would add him he's probably the only second cousin i really see that often okay and think about all your friends yeah i have i have

less than 15 friends between college high school and here that's not no i'm sure there's people that there's people from school that you love that i have three buddies from high school that i see often i have probably 20 buddies from college it's not just see often like there's people that i love that i don't see often see that i love that i haven't seen since high school yeah really yeah how do you love them then because i do you call them what is love is it like an action i think part of it i couldn't say i couldn't with a straight face say i love someone if i haven't talked to them in eight or nine years i disagree really yeah yeah i mean okay i gotta make some calls but i think i probably don't

you don't have to make calls that's the point no i'm saying like to figure out like why who who's programmed my brain this way to think that i think i probably have less do you think you have a conditional viewpoint of love i don't think love is conditional but i think maybe i think if i love someone i would naturally reach out more than once every nine years but i don't necessarily need to be besties with this person i just am like oh i think maybe we're maybe maybe we are maybe you're talking about like in love yeah probably yeah i don't know i think i probably i probably like i could be happy with there are 20 there are less than 50 people that i think i need to see for the rest of my life and the rest are like

that's awesome that they're there but i yeah but i i wouldn't want to live without the prospect of being able to meet people i think that's what i'm saying maybe you can maybe like like it's like one in one out like later uncle ryan oh you can i don't know yeah well that if that's no no but it's like it's like once they're off they're off i don't know there's some loophole where it's like yes you can find like your wife i think no that's not what i mean i mean like just meeting i just i think the coolest part of life is getting to meet new people and like hear about their lives and experiences and like i don't know like going cool places and meeting people i feel like is the coolest thing i get to do you love you love that more than anyone i know too yeah i uh yeah i'm

not saying that's universal when i when i'm having a conversation with a new guy i can tell in 10 seconds if i'm gonna love it or hate it i think i guess that's not even really what you're saying no i yeah i don't know like i feel uneasy talking to a new person yeah i love i just want i love yeah i love it i love meeting people i love making friends i love yeah because new place do you consider yourselves extroverts i definitely do yeah for sure uh sometimes for sure i would say i'd go through phases we were talking we were talking about this the other day i think that uh we are surrounded by like really funny people i think more than most and so you like don't get reactions for things that would make the average common folk laugh a lot more and uh

uh and being around people uh who being around people that don't get exposed to like hilarious people all day is very fun for me because their bar for like what is funny you get like stuff that would never make you laugh when we're having a conversation is like good good stuff to them yeah that always gets me yeah i mean being around funny people definitely makes you funnier too Angus was fucking killing me yesterday. Was he doing Fringe Guy? Kind of.

He was doing the one. It's my favorite, which is Too Close, Too Loud. Does he do Too Close, Too Loud, too? He goes really close. Oh, yeah, yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about. He doesn't know how loud or how quiet he should be talking or how close or how far he should be away from you.

So he'll be like, too loud. And you're like, no, way too quiet. And then he gets, like, right in your face, and he's like, too close. He's better when he does. He's good. That guy's good. Dude, that guy is funny. We should hire him.

I feel like I've definitely gotten funnier since working here. Oh, 100%. You were a drab when you got here. Oh, my God. When you first got hired, you were the worst. Now you're a hoot. Now you're a hoot. I'm not kidding.

I'm not kidding. My favorite thing in the world is when you do one of Will or I's mannerisms or, like, a line that you can tell is when i i was listening to the pod and you did uh you did each one bigger than the last and then you say this last episode me i feel like i'm having like me saying this what did he heard that that you were like i loved when you said that on a pre no i don't think he brought it up but i remember when i remember that moment okay yeah yeah because you guys is phrases are ingrained in my head we had this conversation we were talking about rubbing off on you and you were saying that you love rubbing off on her yeah

pause i don't love for anyone who's listening i don't love rubbing off on anything i'm just trying to get through life without hurting anyone and i've never rubbed off on anyone hey i think you are a quality human if there are any women out there who want to work here and you're now you're scared because you think people are just constantly rubbing off on each other i've never once i feel like angus rubs off on everyone here though i've never won i his humor yeah i've never even thought about rubbing off on another woman that's crazy another woman i'm allowed to he rubs off on his woman i rub off on my own all the time oh my god there's stuff coming out of your nose or is that

your eye oh that's you're crying he did crying for real oh um that's pretty good angus does if you spend enough time with angus he'll rub off on you yeah it's uh you'd i i leave uh i leave long periods of time with you with a lot of your but i also think a lot of my mannerisms are derivative from will honestly yeah it's like a big game of telephone yeah telephone telephone you guys want to play telephone yeah ring ring ring ring ring ring hello hey we're playing telephone now what i don't know i don't really know how that game works that game honestly always pissed me off whenever the teachers or people wanted to play that i'm like we're wasting our time this is we have work to do no this isn't that fun it's just no i agree

it's like and then there's always kids who would just like say it wrong on purpose to make it it's also like usually there's some there's some life lesson like attached to yeah to the game which i guess telephone is kind of brilliant in teaching like how rumors get started yeah but you could just explain to kids like rumors are not true secret secrets hurt someone did i ever tell you about mrs ham's uh breakfast no i mean i have a guess as what it might have been but i'll let you know um mrs ham was my fourth grade teacher and uh she had like a cinnamon roll From 7-Eleven Or Cumbie's

Or something She Cumberland Farms Ever heard of it Yeah I used to go there Skinny brother We love that shit They used to have

Breakfast pizza But um She left her cinnamon roll On her desk And went to the bathroom And then Ate a Big bite of it

And had frosting All over his mouth And uh She came back And saw a huge bite Out of her thing taken And then saw frosting On Amon's face

And uh was like did you eat my cinnamon roll he was like like a tim robinson trying to find the guy who did this but it didn't he was the only he was the only black kid uh in our grade i think and like frosting on his face was much more noticed i don't know it was just like there's no way he was gonna get away with can i say that all right and we're back I don't know. It was just like the most obvious thing. It's actually Franz Sting, but yes.

Yes. Okay. All right. Let's talk about a movie we've never seen. Okay. What's the one where... Shawshank Redemption. I've never seen that either.

We've all seen that. I haven't. You've seen that? Yeah. No, you haven't. You said the other day that you hadn't. No, I thought you were talking about... All right.

One second. I thought he was talking about... Doom 2. no what were we already had this conversation i you said shawshank redemption and i thought you were talking about a different movie i have seen shawshank redemption all right never mind what were you gonna say what's the movie where mark walberg uh his girl his daughter is um in the underground clubhouse and the neighbor killed her boogie nights google mark walberg underground child killer google mark lovely bones lovely bones that

movie's so sad so what oh my god how does the the dad so mark walberg sees a flower and then immediately realizes that it's the neighbor serger ronan i'm where are you gonna spoil it now i mean i'm not gonna you're definitely not gonna watch lovely boats florence pugh's in it no no no that's serger ronan she's stunning serger it's an irish name irish mate she's stunning i want to talk about ireland jamie o'rourke was the laziest man in all of ireland what is that you always say that and i never have asked you what it's from it was a book i used can you google jamie o'rourke and the big potato or something yeah oh i remember this my dad used to read this to me and he would always read it in an irish accent jamie o'rourke was the laziest man in all of ireland why was he the

laziest man because he was just like super lazy and then the world's biggest potato grew in his backyard and he became like the man i guess the man did he make any money off it i forget honestly my dad loved being irish you'd wake me up and you would say would you fight for ireland and i'd be like yes i guess it was from angela's ashes anyone watch that i guess the guy in that book is like uh drunk who like spends his paycheck at the bar every night and then he comes home hammered and wakes his kids up and it's like would you fight for ireland and uh my dad wouldn't do the first part of that but he would just wake me up normal in the mornings and be like would you fight for ireland like yes and um he would read me this

and we'd always have big saint patrick's day parties he's very into being irish our irish heritage was not a big part of my childhood for some reason yeah i wish it was i'm proud of it but i think it was also we're i'm not even half irish i'm like 40 and then like 10 scottish or something i'm like almost all irish my mom's family's very irish too what else my dad's my great-great-grandfather came over during the famine he's two years old on a boat from ireland isn't that insane settled in if you met if you met uh the king would you keep your hands in your pockets yeah yeah i think i was i was thinking about that i don't fuck with i think it's cool like like not them specifically i do think royalty is kind of cool i don't think it

should be around anymore i think it's so ridiculous it's insane i don't understand why they put up with it if i mean it's like meaningless at this point it's just like a fun thing we just started like like if there was royalty in the u.s and they were fucking billionaires you would be like just from just from existing like it's not even like they own a company or anything like yeah we would be pissed i don't understand why they like them but they're well yeah i mean like that's like their whole that's gonna be part of their culture like our whole culture is anti-royalty like our whole country started on hating kings yeah and theirs just started on loving kings i saw a um i saw a meme this morning and it said oh really when i have a 12 in black

jack and it was people chanting no kings no kings and they said 86 or 8 6 4 7 8 6 4 7 that's funny i was like that is like very very like astute observation like that wouldn't have crossed my mind yeah four would be fine not really i know i think it was just like yeah you had to there were there were a couple you had to you had to you had to give them some liberties give me liberty or give me death i'd way rather i feel like there's got to be a third option breakfast give me liberty breakfast or death whatever you pick dealer's choice if you give me breakfast i will i'll be fine dude do i think what big mounds of sand on the

beach have you seen them dunes yeah no like they're like doing like something oh like by the ditch yeah yeah people have been boogie boarding down them oh that's fun seems kind of fun right i saw kids doing it the other day isn't that we're all like the poop isn't that where all of our poop comes out of not into the water oh down back towards the beach yeah interesting i want to boogie board when i was in the ocean the other day i was itching to get get out there get dude When I was in Dana Point and my buddies were surfing, it was kind of like a big surfy area. And then there was a guy go out there with a boogie board. And he looks like he was having the fucking time.

He had fins on him. You need them to get going. I've never seen someone boogie boarding in a surf area. they you can get from what noah explained to me you can get in the lineup if who's noah that noah the uh pro surfer that took me surfing that one time okay he was like you can get in the lineup if you've like earned that like i think you have in this they don't care as long as you're like following the normal yeah rules but i think like you have to it's probably harder to get get into the crew but i think some surfers do dislike boogie boarders i think that's sick that sounds

so fun yeah it's awesome yeah it's also like the the the barrier to entry skill wise is a little bit lower i think way lower it's nothing no it's the the way these guys are doing it like is like they're actually trying to like get in the barrel and stuff like anyone could just like ride it out yeah but like some of these guys are like sick at boogie boarding that's kind of cool yeah they were saying oh will you should come do that i was like no you won't catch me dead doing that why i don't know i would feel uh humiliated while all my friends were surfing being the guy on a boogie board i'd rather i think you've i think you've got it bad i think someone has told you that boogie boarding is stupid like if you're if you're good at boogie boarding people

think it's cool i don't yeah no i just like i'd rather just learn to surf i think which i'm not gonna do so why yes i'm just gonna watch why don't you just boogie boy though i don't want all right jack lauren are you gonna go on another date with this guy um yes has he asked you on another day she said no on the podcast and that's how he found out apparently no he didn't listen he did already ask uh some of his friends who are in music and he's having like a show at you know aviator nation has shows yeah he has one there next thursday so yes the one in santa monica malibu he's playing his friend oh very cool um but what i was going to say before this is um off topic but pivoting to pivot i am going to visit one of my best friends in london

in december you know i love a london boy and i think we're going to take a little trip up to edinburgh edinburgh scotland nice edinburgh edinburgh edinburgh really tomato tomato I don't know how to say it but yeah I'm excited I'm trying to just I don't know why I came out here like that is that really how you say it

it looks like Edinburgh yeah that's kind of what's going on with me let me put the volume on for you Edinburgh Edinburgh Edinburgh For the record

If that's the guy we're taking If that's the guy that's siding with me That guy sounded like he didn't know what to fucking say That wasn't like a He was like Edinburgh Wait what you are going What's happening I've been planning trips

You're going when In December but like I just booked my flights to Chicago In end of July For my birthday Wait you're gonna miss Christmas No, beginning of December. One day. What?

I said I'm going in December. There's one day that's Christmas. All right, man. I just figured we already have so much time off in December that I assumed, God forbid, I assumed it's probably in the giant two-week chunk that is Christmas. I'm not knocking your rum. I don't know. Dude, quit knocking my rum.

That's awesome. That'll be really fun. Who are you going with? One of my best friends from high school. she lives over there do you love her i don't know the time you saw her i haven't seen her in a long time actually nine years no i saw her last summer briefly when i was in chicago but so like a year ago but i have i don't know i just are we gonna miss playdate episodes because we're gonna already have to pre-record i don't know luckily it's only june so we have time oh fuck well then i'll come

with yeah we'll just go with we'll just come with cool yes we'll just go with i want to go i want to go to europe for two weeks yeah me too we should all do them at different times and then it'll just screw us one after another yeah i want to do a big europe trip i think maybe at some point next year there's just so much going on now i don't really feel like i might go alone it's a good time yeah i want a solo trip i would like to do a solo trip in europe i just think there's no one there's no one out of my like really good friends that one i would want to spend that much time with but two uh that i think would be on the same page about like everything

like i think it'd be nice to just do whatever i want yeah long totally that's fair and that's why i like that i was with my sister because we could just be brutally honest about things and just like okay we want to do this we don't want to do this and we had a lot in common but when i was in amsterdam i remember i spent one day just walking as far as i could walk and that was one of the best days of my life i was just listening to music walking around and i was like this is so that was the first time i've kind of felt like an adult i was like oh i can just do whatever i want whatever i want now but then i got really hungry and it all came all the like self-esteem i had built up came crashing out i couldn't find a good place that i

could eat that's funny should we roadmap it up can i go pee first sure what is the worst part about finding a new cologne willie the worst part about finding new cologne is uh oh when you get it online you never know what it smells like until it shows up and you're already invested at that point facts bang not an issue anymore or wait that should be your line you go now introducing the sample set from guy fox it's got all the hits uh it's got the jp it's got the vince it's got the mara it's got the preston and i've got the tyler i believe we're missing one in here because some people come in here and take them because they're little thieves but here's the thing they all smell fantastic but each guy wants their own scent

and each you know this way you can try out all of them yeah there's no risk you just find out which one you want and then you're set for probably 12 months a year yeah i think a year a year wait i'm gonna spray four of them at the same time and see which one will do not do that What? It'll smell way too hot in here. I did it. How does it smell? Way too hot.

It smells way too hot. What does that mean? It's going to smell way too sexy. Everyone's going to get turned the ass on. Oh, my God. I'm so hard right now. Since the dudes from Guy Fawkes are Playmates, they're giving you $10 off your first purchase. Head to GuyFawkes.com slash playdate and use code BEERS for free shipping and $10 off your purchase

for just a limited time get more compliments smell unbelievable and spend less with guy fox this should actually taste delicious yes well don't taste it but it smells delish let's get back into the episode we got a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches then we're gonna do everyone's favorite segment am i the asshole and then we'll do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today

hey hey I said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard there's rocks in my yard and then we're gonna do teach me something followed by 4th of July

traditions that don't exist and then s'more Slang words that don't exist And then we will wrap up with Rusty's song Of the day We have 2600

What are you googling about? He was flexing for the camera I'm showing off my muscles Comment down below Comment down below how Will Doing that made you feel 2633 saves as of 102pm

on this beautiful recording day um again go follow it the when we hit 10 000 saves one of you is get two of you are getting 101 dollars and and with 101 dollars you can buy a hundred hats each one bigger than no idea it'll be a dollar and one cent also guys we still have a couple more shirts on uh playdate.shop playdate pod.shop playdate pod.shop go check it out this is my favorite it's a band that will made up called souls for sale in the back is this the no place like hell tour it's actually such a sick shirt well and so the reason i saw it was you last night is because you were wearing that oh yeah at the restaurant i'm like immediately someone's wearing our shirt yeah well no i mean

you saw his shirt before you saw his back was facing gotcha gotcha she saw my ass and said oh my god i saw that dumpy i'm just he doesn't have a dumpy well oh sure mini pie do you want to have a dumpy yeah my god okay then you have a dumpy all right who has more cake me or will uh i don't know i haven't really looked hard enough wrong answer you're probably the only person that hasn't looked hard when they see us you didn't look hard all right um wait what was i gonna say oh really you didn't look hard when does this come out july 14th no it'd be june 30th monday close okay very close all right pitches so emma baker girlfriend i

i yeah that was just funny was that in the last episode or two ago when i was like yeah two or maybe even three episodes you gotta give more context no one's gonna know what you're i'm explaining so i was we a few episodes ago people sent us mail we opened the mail and emma baker this lovely woman sent us this letter and then i basically got confused and was like is emma baker a real person now i know you are a real person and we see you and appreciate you um and i'm sorry for what you got confused as to whether she was a real person yeah because i like forgot that one of the letters we opened was emma baker and i in my brain i thought i was just i don't know it doesn't matter i think what lauren uh lauren correct me if i'm wrong well

my colleague is trying to say is uh she's showing early signs of dementia dementia oh that's what i was just saying yeah cool uh anyway lord oh also some girl posted on tiktok that she wanted like new podcast recommendations and we got tagged a bunch and that made me feel very very very very very good very cool so thank you for the people that did that also a girl gave an accelerator review and tagged us and also i just i'm now discovering the mentions thing so i've never seen this seeing all sorts of its own tab yeah oh and i never go on i never check the playdate stuff yeah but uh a lot of people maddie schrader's podcast mentioned us that was nice i actually call her mooby but okay who's that she's a barstool employee

she's cool you know who that is mooby you definitely know that sit on it sit on it bing no oh sorry pull up movie you i would be absolutely shocked if you don't know i i think you and i have talked about her so i would find that impossible this girl yeah i've never seen this person that was the smallest profile picture of all time this girl you've never seen her before no i don't believe you okay i'm lying really no she's big time i don't really like go on tiktok i don't like tiktok you've never been on tiktok no i just don't you are definitely on you send me tiktoks i know but mine are just like i don't follow like the tiktok tiktokers i just follow i just like random videos okay i don't know okay anyway emma baker she so she was

one that said hello lauren the twunk in the otter otter otter twunk i'm twunk i'm twunk okay i'm just kidding that's not a behavior i do she says what is the worst part about living in the midwest of course you guys want to know i guess uh the worst part about living in the midwest is there's no water around lauren's family is near you yeah the worst there is water around bro found a group on a lake he doesn't know about the great lakes okay those don't count don't count your landlocked there's sorry there's no oh you're landlocked there's no lake michigan is essentially an ocean it's essentially a lake it's in the title but they feel like you can't see the other side we had yeah but it's not it isn't i've been oh trust me daddy's been

and let me tell you i don't care if you can't see the other side it's about knowing it's about knowing what's out there you know there's just ontario on the other side that's kind of boring michigan what michigan what no ontario's on the other side what are you saying you're landlocked that's the answer you're landlocked everyone's too nice the beer is too cold the ass is too cold the winters are dog she says

it is she says of course it's the wind it's the wind okay that was I basically said that I just add terz or dog water

Lauren I know you've heard the phrase it wouldn't be that bad if it weren't for the wind before my company all I do is win will put an end to those days

of wishing the wind didn't make it so cold hoping to avoid a naming rights legal battle with Kanye I'm high level so our legal team can figure it out

Kanye all I do is win win win no matter what got money on my mind was that like Fat Joe or something and every time

I step up in the building everybody Lil Jon I have no idea no I'm trying to figure it out so wait can you google all I do is win

is it DJ Khaled oh yeah maybe yeah sorry I wasn't just singing it for the sake of it I was literally trying to like get to the bottom of it

god all the boys were on that Ludacris Rick Ross T-Pain so her product is an app that will give you

directions to your destination where there is always a building blocking the direction the wind is coming from or at its worst it is blocking or it is blowing your at your back this could this could be extra helpful in combo days of windy and rainy or snowy uh so that it is always blocked or just i'm sorry i'm so fucking okay no i just this is my impression of one it's windy rainy or what snowy you're getting nervous no i just keep losing my place um we could have a scale where it shows how bad it is out sort of like a real feel where you can determine whether it's worth going even with the safer path i feel like this would be super helpful for college kids in particular because i remember skipping class sometimes when i didn't

feel like walking across campus getting that windy getting blasted by the cold graduated from nebraska in 2022 go huskers hey i think we're going to omaha this year really or wherever nebraska is our app uh i don't think it's omaha yeah it is is it omaha is in nebraska no but i mean the college what it's she's already you're gonna confuse her way more she's already about to fucking lose it is the college in omaha that's what i'm saying i don't know oh i don't know either i think it's in nebraska though for sure omaha is definitely in nebraska i don't know whether the university of nebraska she's gonna wait one second lauren and i are onto something okay um our app could also give a recommended amount of layers

or like suggested outfits for you to wear for this exact temperature combined with the wind amount so you're prepped regardless of your path maybe we could crowdsource examples from users in the area anyways i know wind isn't a huge problem everywhere so we could expand by adding routes that are either always in the sunlight for a much warmer nice day to boost the temp a little bit or if you prefer routes to block direct sun from blinding your eyes when it's lower in the sky we could add those as well i think the only issue is being pigeonholed by our company name a bit but i feel like it's too catchy not to use um i i i like the sentiment here's my only worry i like it if you were to if you were to map out a route that where there's always a building

blocking the wind from you you'd have to walk like triple the well you have distance yeah i mean so i don't know i i really i can yeah i relate i mean i guess the boston wasn't as windy as the midwest but brutal though when that wind like channels down a tunnel well that's the thing is like there are certain streets that's just like are wind tunnels that you know to avoid yeah so it's like yeah i remember andy and i were walking from a hotel to uh get brunch or lunch or something in boston and we got hit with one of those ones where it like yeah was funneling the wind right i almost knocked me off my feet yeah there's some right outside 2k any any bc guys there 2k wind tunnel come on i like the aspect of adding routes that are always in the sunlight

because i think i would i think that would make me much happier yeah i would like that as well i'm in i like that idea as well yeah that's fun oh wait also she read a few more or she wrote a few more paragraphs you guys can read the rest of this letter later but um yeah if it's not thank you thank you emma thank you eb eb all right thank you girlfriend next pitch is from hey shawty it's your girlfriend i'm gonna party like it's your birthday this is from santiago he says hello randy jackson randy orton and randy savage randy jackson randy savage who the hell's that i think he's one of the savage bros what's that he was in uh Wasn't he in

He was like a Child actor Google Randy Savage Which one are you From the Wonder Years No Oh What

Who's Randy Looks like he's a wrestler Google Fred Savage Randy Orton's a Wrestler Fred Savage Fred Savage Wonder Years girl

Wait is that who Lauren is Yeah Fred Savage No Lauren's the girl Wonder Years girl Look up Wonder Years girl yeah you're go to images look up naked lady doing something hot yeah after that you were you're this girl lauren why because she's in the wonder years what is wonder years it's a band it's

a punk rock band yeah wait now now google hot naked lady dancing remember when will looked up naked guy on your laptop and it was just a guy with his penis out that was crazy yeah that was awesome on my computer yeah you were there yeah but i wasn't in front of the screen yeah i wouldn't have done that in front of you that was during like an accelerator ad no it wasn't or sorry no that was on our free time all right well he says what is the worst part about styling your hair you have it i i don't know how to do it and my hair is so long that it takes 45 minutes to even come close to drying yeah it feels like it somehow looks different every single time yeah i've oh yeah that's actually the real answer is you genuinely don't know what it's going to look

like and when you have an important like wedding or something to go to you can't count on it gonna you can't count on it looking normal so he says you have a vision for it but actually creating it or getting it to how you want it to be is almost impossible sometimes that is a thing of the past with freestyle it is a powder like hair product similar to texturizing texturizing powder but it can read your mind. Sprinkle a little bit of this on your hair and think about how you want it to look. Whether the style has a matte finish or a shine, it will transform into what you want

it to be. Want to have that effortlessly messy look? You got it. Have a cute dress you want to wear but don't have time to do your hair in the style you want? Throw some freestyle in. Want to look like Prince Charming? Piece of cake. Want to look like the only 60s guy in the world? Well, put on your I am the only 60s guy in the world.

I am John. I am John. Oh! Oh! um i'm not done i know i was just clapping for that impression we did so if you want to look like the only 60s guy in the world you put on your t-birds jacket because freestyle has you covered simply think of the desired style after applying the product and watch your hair transform right in front of you thank you for everything gang i love it

i don't understand the technology but i think we're high level we're high level i would do almost anything if this was real yeah because this would also solve the problem of i going to the barber shop i always feel like they're gonna think i'm the creepiest guy in the world if i say like if i show my picture of a hot guy and i'm like i want my hair to look like this this time i could just sprinkle it in it would yeah you make me feel like i'm the only creepiest guy in the You make me feel like I'm creepiest guy in the world. I'm creepier than... All right, pitch me, Willie.

I'm creepiest when I'm around other girls. Who do you think's the creepiest guy in the world? The 60s guy. No. Mike Cara. No, I'm just kidding. Wait, Lauren, look up club promoter Indian guy Instagram. What?

Yeah. You think the creepiest guy in the world is club promoter Indian guy Instagram? Go to images. Someone at home will know who I'm talking about. It's this fucking guy who... Him? No, I'll find it later. But he posts videos of him with girls, and they all seem really fucking creeped out all the time.

You know, Drewski made $14 million this year, according to Forbes. I don't believe that. Who is it? He's a comedian? What? What is this? That guy. Yeah, what does he do?

He's a comedian. We're friends on TikTok. No big deal. We're boys. That's kind of your homie, right? We are boys. All right. Should we do our pitches?

Yes. Pensions. All right. Beach sled. Nice. This is when you want to dip your feet in the water, but you don't want to get all sandy. Yep. It's a little thing you get on right at the start of the sand.

you stand on it and you go across the beach takes you down to the water you step off you get your feet wet you can play in the ocean then you get back on the beach sled no takes you back to the boardwalk yes exists where i saw a video it's not for that but it's for handicapped people who can't walk to the water okay so it takes them all they like almost kind of like a roller coaster it takes them all the way down they can swim around and then they get back in the thing it'll like someone it'll pull back up it's awesome all right well this one's for not handicapped people i like that because if i tried to use it they would be like hey get off that thing yeah exactly i love it and here's why i love swimming i am not really the biggest beach guy but i love being in the ocean

yeah but i just the sand part when you and i were walking back for after that bonobo shoot covered in sand i wanted to die yeah i don't like getting being all sandy when i get off like it's nice to it would be nice to like be able to end the beach day so you could spend the whole day at the beach whatever and then go get in the water hop on the beach what did i call it beach sled beach sled take you back and i thought it was just gonna be like what's the best part about what's the i mean beach roller coaster for disabled people was probably the craziest probably the craziest google search of all time i was already actually up she didn't even google that someone else had googled that i think it's like uh i forget what they're called but it's like

For people whose legs don't work. Oh, is that the Cyclone? What, though? Oh, the Cyclone. Up at the top there? Coney Island? No, that's here, I think. It's here.

It's like right outside of our office. Fuck, you're right. It's a new... Oh, that's a New York. It's a new mobility magazine. I was just going to fucking tell you. I'm going to Coney Island next weekend. Nice.

Me and my brother are going to go see the Brooklyn Cyclones. What is that? What is that? It's like the Mets single A. Oh. That's fun. All right, what is the worst part about being done? I'm trying to figure out.

I already have the pitch, but okay. What's the worst part about regular restaurants that has been fixed at members-only country clubs or clubs? I don't know. Wait, wait, wait. Say it again? What's the worst part about dining out that has been already been fixed by like country clubs and private private members only places? You just leave when you're done.

You don't have to like wait for a check. You should tables should have a slot in your table where when you sit down, someone just puts their credit card in there and it's locked. And then the set in the server can just add stuff to your tab. and then when you're done you just pull it out leave a tip on like the screen or something and you're out yeah like i think they have that applebee's no but that's like a whole that's like you have to do the thing this is just it's streamlined there's just one card in card out there's no like anything it's just simple she's charging it to you i'm in i mean it could they could do that like at the beginning of the meal they could just like tap your card and then charge

at the end but yeah wouldn't that be nice that was that's my that was my favorite that's my favorite thing about my favorite thing about clubs is just when you're done you can just get up and leave because i i'm not rushed i'm never rushing to get the check but sometimes it's like it's been 40 minutes and that's frustrating yeah i agree all right should we do am i the ass wipe am i the wife's am i the am i my wife's ass am i the wife okay am i the ass wife am i an ass wife that's like uh in more like when mormons have a bunch of wives and they go one of them has to go am i only here because i'm the ass wife or like or just like am i being an ass wife yeah all right cut it to me straight you're clearly the goaded wife am i the ass wife all right this story is from chuck

what up chuck chuck chuck chuck says so i currently live with my fiancee and my best friend nice he and i dream setup yeah that actually he and i've been roommates for five years new york rent is expensive and i've known him since childhood two of our closest friends had been dating for a couple of years up to the point of this story and the girl was feeling unhappy and confided in my fiance with the fact that she was going to break up with him soon. She stayed over at her house for

a few days while she was mulling over the decision. This was already hard for me because I'm close with the guy and I didn't want to get in the middle of their relationship as he has a pretty bad temper and I hate drama. However, one of the nights she was staying at her house, my best friend and roommate

also very good friends with the guy getting broken up with my fiance and i as well as the girl decided to watch a movie um my roommate and the girl got extremely close to each other and started cuddling and holding hands middle school stuff i know but she was still dating the bad temper guy while this was happening he had no idea she had been dating the guy for like years yes and they're cuddling and holding hands yeah her and the other guy yeah yeah that's crazy yeah um sorry continue no you're good uh i lost my place lauren i'm gonna get you a bookmark for earth like a something for christmas your birthday

stop you're annoying i'm trying to find my place and you keep trying to lose it so it's on an iphone there's like a fuck ton of words like it's like hard to follow um i'm sorry uh so she was still she was still dating the bad temper guy while this was happening he had no idea she was feeling upset and wanted to break up only my fiance did and she told me second hand handily we clearly saw them cuddling and we decided to confront them um they admitted to it and we ended up going to sleep after a brief conversation as uncomfortable as the entire situation has made me feel my best friend and roommate is someone who i would never do wrong so i'm not going to tell the other guy what happened that night and just let the relationship run its course instead

of angering someone who has really bad temper and causing him to stop being friends with my roommate so am i the asshole for withholding that information your roommate your roommate and that girl are assholes i don't think here's the thing and correct me if i'm wrong i feel like 99 of the time you shouldn't have to be obligated to like tell someone something you know what i mean like it's the other person's fault for putting you in a position to have to like choose a which friend you're withholding information from yeah a hundred percent a hundred percent you don't have any obligation to i don't think you're the asshole but i think that that girl is a floozy and i think your friend your friend that lives with you should not be doing that what's a floozy it's like an old

time it's uh i was trying to not say a bad word it's like a woman with loose morals maybe what she's been with a guy for a couple years and she's like cuddling up with your roommate i know i've just never heard that word oh floozy yeah my mom used that one time she she really liked my high school girlfriend and then we broke up and i started hanging out with a different girl and my mom wanted me to get back with my girlfriend and she told my sister that the new girl was a floozy and i thought that was very funny floozy yeah um yeah definitely not the asshole that sucks i think that's the worst position to be in is like having to like yeah having that way on your conscious yeah i would say you should tell the girl you don't get to

stay here and okay and play grab ass with the roommate while you figure out if you're gonna stay with your boyfriend yeah agreed uh i think you should tell i don't know it sucks that the guy is your friend too depends you're all i would i would always err on the side of be more loyal to the person who you're better friends with yeah also i would say maybe you get the bad temper guy to you all get together and all play grab ass so it just kind of neutralizes right right right or get yeah get him get him some ass to grab or you uh kill everyone involved kill i would say kill maybe kill maybe just kill the floozy okay we can't we actually can't say that i forgot these are real people i said i started i started oh oh oh yeah i forgot those are real people too okay

here's the real answer you tell your buddy get it together the one that was holding hands with the girl yeah you tell the girl you can't stay here if you're gonna be weird and promiscuous while you're still with the guy and then you tell the bad temper friend to break up with her first so that he wins before she breaks before she can break up with him you tell him it's coming unless you're friends with the girl you can't just sit there and let him get blindsided well i think he's friends with the girl i think you just let them deal with it sounds like she's gonna break up with him let that happen yeah it would it would be the most cut and dried thing if her if the friend if your buddy wasn't playing gram ass with her on the couch like if that guy

was a stranger it would be cut and dry but the fact that oh you're all it's like a weird friend he's friends with the other yeah yeah shitty i would say that i think you keep your mouth shut and let the let it run its course it's not your job i'm always so baffled i'm always so baffled when i hear from people like oh my god my friend did this with my ex and the it's like you guys are not real friends i don't know why you're considering that your friend when people are doing like shady shit like real friends not many of us no i think it's how many of us right i'm not good with drake um that's not true who is kendrick kanye kanye um sorry but i would yeah i always think that's weird when there's like an incestuous those friend groups that are like constantly like

banging each other yeah yeah listen i think it's okay as long as everyone's as long as everyone's safe on the same page and not uh each other yeah i but i still keep coming back to i feel bad that the guy's gonna get blindsided you gotta straighten out your roommate friend and be like stop no no more find him another girl get him a different ass to grab

take him out on the town until he starts grabbing ass go grab his ass grab his ass grab both their asses and clench them until it makes a bruise press both their asses together until they fuse into one human centipede ass

neither of them can did you guys ever watch those movies human centipede Will's seen a couple ass movies I've seen a few ass movies in my day made a few take a picture of everyone in the friend group's ass and slack it to Will

slack it to Brian slack it to Brian Baker what's next NTA not the asshole check out my This Guy Rocks I sent it to you it's really good you're going to love it Oh, I saw this.

Damn, this is crazy. It's unbelievable. Unless it's a different video of the same device. This isn't about the device. This is about the guy. Yeah, you're going to love the comments about this guy. Here he comes. Smile, Pete.

She's like, who's that? He just woke up from a 500-year coma. Who's this good-looking chap there? 500-year coma. Oh my god, you look like a serial killer. Someone commented and was like, can I get one that doesn't come with the pedophile? How cool is that?

Yeah, just push the door. Yeah, can I buy one without the molester option? Is that luxury? Wait, what? Isn't that great? Instead of like a chairlift on the stairs, you just get one of those. We almost had our,

Willie, we almost had our first ever duplicate This Guy Rocks. Oh, you almost did this? I was scrolling to look for one, and that was the first one. You know what he looks like here? That's hysterical. You know that short film, The Other Side of the Box? Oh, yes.

Isn't that giving the same? Yeah, yeah. The way he's popping out. Where is he fucking coming from? The hyperbolic chamber downstairs? No, it's like instead of like, yeah. Oh, it's not just like in the floor. No, no, no.

It's like a transportation. It's like instead of like a chairlift. Wrong person for the ad. Yeah, that is terrifying. All right, I slacked it to you, Lauren. hilarious i and not in a million years what i've guessed that this is what was about to happen in this video thank you i like to keep you on your toes i feel like it's a fun way to keep the podcast lively uh enjoyable and welcoming for new listeners lauren i will tell you i would be

shocked if you did guess that that was what was gonna happen wait i like this guy yeah this guy's hilarious so funny uh all right it says lacroix when you want to hang out with your boy but he has been corrupted by an evil advisor who secretly wants the throne you want to hang out he is not welcome my lord how dare you talk to the king on his day of rest you must stay inside play 2k he is sick he wants to take your power he wants to take the throne it is a new fortnight season and the doctor doom skin is yours for the day he's trying to distract you don't listen to him dude i just want to like hang out silence your voice it's tuesday there are no bitches out i do lay these troubles on your homie can't you see he's worked three days this week not trust a commoner

that's awesome that's so funny yeah this guy's really funny he there's this one video he made imitating fred again that was hilarious did you see that one i just followed him pull me out of this he's been killing me i want to find it actually it's so funny the uh because the song is so good go slower oh he's the guy who does the rick steves is so funny this this song is so good uh wait go away lauren from this the i've realized this we keep playing clips with copyrighted music in our last five episodes have gotten i don't really care i don't give a fuck either but i just don't want to take any i don't want to take the chance um yeah yeah because i

give you like keep keep doing it no i think it's just they're just like demonetizing it they're or like restricting it in like albania or something yeah yeah i don't think we have it hasn't affected it hasn't affected anything i just don't want to get into any trouble all right should we do teach me something teach me something uh i got i got more of just a practical one today okay this isn't very fun but i learned this and i want you know i want other people to to have this one in your back pocket i think we're all we're all growing up here and it's time that we just have there are some things you just got to know that i didn't that i didn't i never knew okay so you know i sold my car today i'm gonna go get a new car i'm a lease i think

okay and i was kind of just gonna like eyeball it okay like that that amount of money sounds like a fair amount to you know what i mean like i've just i've never been great at budgeting there is a rule there's kind of a rule of thumb 10 of your take-home income is kind of a conservative amount to to spend on a lease okay uh 15 is kind of still good for everything like car like the payment the gas the insurance everything like that so if you take your however much you make a month times that by 15 percent that is kind of a ballpark of what you should try and stick around so if you make 500 bucks let's do it let's not 500 bucks if you make if you make 500 bucks a month you may probably don't get a car what's like if what's like an if you make

three thousand dollars a month does that make sense four thousand dollars a month sure four Or if you make $4,000 a month times 0.15, you should spend max $600 on your car a month. Yeah, I kept thinking there was going to be a punchline. Same. No, I just learned that. I don't know. I didn't know what to do. I was just going to go to the dealership and be like, do your worst.

Yeah. But Mott's told me there's a general rule. Yeah. Financial literacy, baby. But if you want to buy, use the 24-10 rule. 20% down, four-year loan term max, monthly payment no more than 10% of your gross monthly income. Gross. You guys needed that one?

I just thought maybe some playmates out there are looking to get a car. Yeah, yeah. And that could be helpful. I'm not going to get a car in a couple months. Yeah. That's good to know. Do you want to come with me today and see the ropes? I'm good.

when's the when's the will scott mobile hitting the streets i think that's such a funny so funny i think it's i've never met i've never met two guys that would ever do that yeah it's impressive people can do it it's you guys thank you totally i just think i think it's september what do you get why september uh we're waiting that's when our lease restarts and i think there's a chance we might be having a roommate but we'll see should we do or will you got to teach me something now yes smallest fish in the world anyone grunion no minnow it's called a pedi cypress progenetica of course but i just can you google smallest fish in the world it's the funniest it's like a looks like a fish but it is i yeah like if you look at the images if

like under a microscope it looks the same ah oh i like them yeah but look at it on a finger isn't that insane wait go back to like the detail picture it's tiny no the other one that's fucking gorgeous fascinating isn't crazy it's like it's the same as a regular fish it's just the size of like a hair what could they not even a hair like like an eyelash yeah that's thicker than an eyelash thicker yes longer no uh what do they eat like uh shrimp just take some like all they have to do all they have to do is catch one shrimp and they're good for like the rest of their lives like generations yeah like a hundred years ago one of their grandfathers like found david and goliath a shrimp tiny should we get a fish tank of the world's fault nia nia wants to

get a fish i feel like she would forget to uh feed it no i know no i know or she would i would end i would end up i would not want to clean up or lauren would eat it for dinner probably low seafood i love mia i i genuinely think how long google how long can a fish survive if you immediately neglect it i think it depends on the fish how long can a beta fish survive if you immediately neglect it that is sad betta fish survive without food maybe no if you if you just if you immediately four to seven days so you yeah you guys would have it for two weeks she would she wouldn't kill it for a week and i think you guys well i wouldn't let it die but i think you guys would forget it was there i would never let that fish uh willie that was a very fun teach me

something thank you i'm very proud of you would you like to start with fourth of july traditions that don't exist, or would you like to do slang words that don't exist? Let's do slang words. I feel like we haven't been very silly this episode. We've kind of just been talking, which I think is fun, too, sometimes. Yeah. Alright, you tee it up. Let's do slang words. Slang words? These are more

slang words that don't exist. Zipper. This means to keep something sort of on the down low. It's like, hey, you told someone a cool thing, they're like, no way, that's crazy. Yeah, but zipper. Love it. Bridge. Bridge to, like, merge groups

on a night out like you see yeah you see another friend group out at the bar and you're like oh no wait you guys are here let's bridge love it uh branch this is to describe someone who you kind of know through another guy it's like oh you know mike uh kind of he's a branch right that's great yeah spin to leave a place uh you go all right let's spin then you peel out i like that uh pole something that's set up really good it's like a pole in pole position you know like a nascar it's like it's in a good spot right now it's pole yeah that's pole nest just new new home uh all right i'm heading back to the nest i like that a lot birds anyone birds anyone uh fuck i forgot what this one means god damn that's why i should write what they mean uh

oh okay tone something like it's very on brand it's like oh that's tone yep yeah yeah flushed someone or something that you've removed from your life so you're like oh what happened to brian you're like oh he's flushed i like that rid of him uh crystal i this kind of exists but just as a way of saying like crystal clear like crystal yep oh i like that yeah are we good yeah crystal i've definitely heard people say that crystal really i was kind of thinking that like i feel like i've kind of heard that uh well yeah because no one someone's like are we clear and they say in the right crystal yeah it's more of an answer i guess maybe yeah this is yeah this is like all right here's the plan we're gonna go to we're going to ryan's then we're going to dinner

crystal yeah and you're like bingo good yeah uh onion someone who has a reputation for making you cry if you spend too much time with them he's an onion you're like he's a cool guy but he's kind of an onion if you get too close to him he might make you cry yeah that was bad no i like it all right should we do fourth of july traditions that don't exist uh yeah i would love that do you want me to tee it up or do you want to uh i can do it tee it up will you these are fourth of july traditions that don't exist we didn't for these we always do like what are some of your favorite Yeah, we should do that. Rusty, what are your summer favorite?

Summer favorite? Bird. Bird, couch, monkey. Rusty, what are some of your favorite Fourth of July traditions? Ooh, when we were kids, we would eat all the ingredients of a firework and then light the fuse up our butt. Oh, yes. How about we used to do the, oh, yeah, we used to do the 21 hot dog salute. Of course.

Yeah, we would all line up, and we would each eat a hot dog in succession to kick off the barbecue. uh we used to have my brother run through the barbecue uh on a hobby horse going the burgers are ready the burgers are ready when uh like paul revere when it was time to eat yes uh i feel like did we do that one okay no i'm just joking uh reverse fireworks my dad would go up on the roof and shoot him down at the party uh we would only eat foods that were red white or blue the week leading up to fourth of july so all of our poop and pee were uh the american colors oh i love that never worked i want to redo what the hot 21 hot dog salute is uh the 21 hot dog salute we'd get one of those hot dog launching guns from the minor league baseball team and shoot 21 hot dogs into

the air in our neighborhood i love it yeah we would read a textbook paragraph about uh us declaring our independence and we would take a shot every time we learned something new oh that's fun uh barbecue sauce fondue this was always a hit uh pretty self-explanatory totally yep we would do we would invite all the british people in our neighborhood over and then push them in the pool with a bunch of tea love that tea let me do let me redo that one we would invite all the british people over for a tea party in our neighborhood and then when they got there we pushed them along with the tea into the pool love that uh oh what we would all get together and try to count every star on the american flag lauren what did you guys do wait i got i got one more

okay are you done yeah all right that was fun yeah i know because i did the hot dog one twice gotcha uh uh we would do the national anthem singing contest loudest wins one guy died let me come up with one one guy crumped well no i only have five i want to use the second hot dog one not the first hot dog one all right who's ready for rusty's song of the day mustard what is that what what you know the tv off turn that tv up turn that tv up kendrick song no okay it starts out he goes mustard dude are you from la soda soda uh i got i feel by bad sounds okay it is uh i discovered this playlist i don't want to i don't want to dox it but it's uh it's been giving me some pretty it's been giving me some pretty killer

songs hell yeah because i really like you know when you're like i love this song but if you go and you want to hear more like it when you go to the radio for it it's just like spotify can't totally crack it it's songs that are all like this one song that we all love but i don't want to i don't want to spoil the places and i've learned two really good songs from it i love that so i feel by bad sounds it's very very fun i think you guys are gonna this one and the one i just added yes last episode in succession pair very nicely together all right that's all i'm saying no i've never seen succession but i'd love to all i'm saying all right what should they comment willie comment your favorite barbecue comment your favorite fourth of july barbecue item comment

if you ever had a red snapper lauren pull up red snapper hot dogs they're very bizarre they're you don't like them no they i mean they taste the same as a normal hot dog that's not true what that's not true it's just dye ew it's like a fat it's just food i don't like how this looks brother they taste the same it's just a dye they put in no they're better though well they're there's probably some nostalgia tied to it but it's the same No. Okay. Well, I think the casing, the casing.

Can you just let me fucking have this one? Okay, fine. Jesus Christ. I don't know about that. Lauren, you'd love them. They're fucking awesome. I do love hot dogs, though. These are the best hot dogs you can have.

They crack when you bite them. They go. Yeah. I used to serve a lot of them alone. I did some research. There's no real difference between Red Snapper hot dogs and regular natural casing. That person's a fucking dork. They probably don't even live in Maine.

you did some research shut up idiot you've never done it that was seven years ago that was last year shut your dirty heretic mouth manor here just kidding yeah yeah this guy's a fucking dork he's never done it i believe that one time they were wait go back up lauren oh or down before they're done i believe at one time they were uh colored red to disguise off-colored portions of meat that were ground up into the hot dogs nowadays with modern health codes, they aren't doing that anymore. Now they're just red

for nostalgia. They still taste better. Nostalgia tastes good. Nostalgia tastes real good. Come on. Come on. I actually, I am not even kidding. I genuinely think they taste better.

Yeah? Yeah. Well, comment Red Snapper. Comment Red Snapper. comment potato salad comment oh i love potato spam spam adam sandler no spam no spam pasta salad spam pasta salad spam adam pasta no just say your spam whatever your favorite thing is from barbecue spam it though spam spam it and like the video and subscribe especially if it is and send it to your grandma send it to your grandma and then go buy a shirt buy the souls for sale shirt buy your grandma a hat that says grandma not even from us because we don't sell it

but buy if you buy your grandma a hat that says grandma and you send us a picture we'll send you a playdate shirt for free oh wow but you have to buy it all right we love you guys have a great rest of your monday have a great tuesday and we will see you bright and early on wednesday latest skaters mustard Thanks for watching!