Will & Rusty's Playdate - the last blanket at the sleepover

Episode Date: May 4, 2026

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they are sorry excuse me our amos is flammable our amos is flammable we are on fire today our amos god i'm gonna want i'm gonna want that diet coke the entire time we're talking what are you doing oh look at this shit i thought you were like i thought you thought that i like put something under there put something in my amos you're my amos what i'm just ready for whatever the it's not a big prank is it's not a prank famous amos over here trying to prank us bro famous amos no it's not a prank it's like a little segment that i had later on that i wanted to like prepare so you wouldn't see it on the screen god amos segment you're doing oh god we're doing the anus segment are we rolling disgusting yeah it's called the aim

the aimnessness welcome back we got a special episode we got play date we got a famous amos coming on later to talk about it how he made his fucking cookies and shit um emily is here still we think andrew might be lost in the forest andrew andrew got the flu about a week and a half ago and it feels like it's been six months i'm like i was laughing earlier because i was talking to emily and she's like where's and what is where is andrew and i told her exactly what he's doing she's like rusty keeps coming up and being like where is andrew and and she and she said that she said he was like i guarantee he told you which he completely did he had a family wedding in north carolina and then he had a family vacation in the outer banks after got it he

could not have communicated this more this is a thing he told me yes is it in writing anywhere probably it was certainly you do this a lot until i see it where is blank and it's like it's like it's like a thing i think i've been notified like a hundred for the record she's blowing this out of proportion i walked into the producer's office and i was like where's andrew been it was not it was it was sheer sheer curiosity it was there was no accusations being thrown around um but yeah he's well you know what it was is before that he had coachella and then the flu and so that feels that's why it feels like yeah the coachella flu broke out that coachella flu coachella flu coachella flu so that woodstock could run who are you texting who would you rather

be texting than talking to willie sorry it was sean it was sean but this what's going on i just no i just do i just do the segment now there's no seg guys just relax you just told us no sorry there's no no no right before the podcast emily was like can you guys leave the room for five minutes and then we're being like what the hell's going on is like something gonna fucking pop up and like sting our anus or something and she's like no don't worry about it no don't worry about I'm fully clenched. NASA employee. No, don't worry about your rain.

You're worried about the wrong planet. Y'all worried about the wrong planet. Come on, man. Come on, man. Talking about Pluto. Come on, man. We went to the Renaissance Fair. We did go to the Renaissance Fair, and it was-

Magical. Magical. It was cash money. Johnny Stanton just texted me, I'm never drinking again. He's still feeling it. Yeah. Yeah. it's what day was that saturday saturday it's wednesday it's wednesday should not be feeling

it anymore yeah we partied about as much as uh i think the finest nights in the kingsdom would have i uh i like mead now yeah i learned i didn't like the universal park mead gas the mead there was gas universal mead it's like a universal remote so anyone likes it or something or it's like works you can also use it to like start your tv yeah universal mead you can drink it use it for mouthwash start your car put it in your gas tank uh you can use it as a lubricant you can use it as a charizard if you play in pokemon yes yes um probably produce a podcast it gets the rust off of hinges like flan bingo i knew there was something there oh lord above emily that face you get it that face you could make a lot of money making that face

you could make a lot of money if you keep making that face you're gonna go straight to the do the face for really well i i started selling my feet pics because someone said that about my feet is that real no god the sports guys are playing 5v5 basketball now yeah or 5v5 screen basketball I think they have it on their calendar. It's like when play date starts, they get a notification. It's insane. They just start going hog wild. Have you ever sold your feet pics?

That's a yes. So have you. Yes, but I... No, I never... There was one time where someone asked me for a picture of my feet, so then I Googled a picture of feet, and I sent it, and then they paid me. See, that... Like, I would never take a photo of my face with my feet

and send it to someone and sell it. Why? I don't know. Like, I just feel like that would be embarrassing to have a photo of me with my feet, like, purposely out for a photo of swarming the internet. Go tell them to be quiet. I was telling Willie, someone commented on,

I think it was Playdate, because someone had to go stop them from playing basketball last time. Mm-hmm. And, um... Someone commented, like, whoever decided to build a basketball court next to the podcast studio, I need to know who it was. It might be the, what's, name a architectural faux pas worse, the Leaning Tower of Penis. Is that the only worst one?

No. Why are we going, like, we're going, like, low brow penis strokes today. That is not who I want to be. 9-11. Yeah, I guess. I guess. but like they made buildings that couldn't survive a commercial airliner that's faux pas did they do it are all buildings now has anyone tried you know what's fun no but you know what's

fun you know there's nothing fun yes the world trade centers are actually like specifically designed to withstand like a small aircraft hitting them because didn't a guy did it before on accident did he didn't i'm like can you google did it did a google like cessna hits world trade plane hits world trade center see if anything comes up yeah oh no that's just not oh my god did someone do it to the empire state building can you google it has someone ever hit oh my buddy buck is calling me you can't answer that i know the way you pulled it out was like you were answering it oh that's not what i meant she googled has someone ever hit a plane into the world trade center

yeah accident in 1945 a guy accidentally crashed into the north side of the empire state building while flying in thick fog here's my thing i don't care how thick the fog is if you know you're in new york city and like a big fog rolls in like go up higher you know that there are buildings there yeah maybe he didn't have he didn't know what was up and down even he was worried if he went up he'd go down he he could have j yeah jfk that's what happened to jfk and kobe's pilot they didn't trust their instruments and so they thought they were going what instrument did kobe play or jfk they the instruments on the plane tell you like where you're going and but your body's telling you a different thing so that the instruments are like we're going down and

they're like no we're not and so they like feel like they're going up and they get disoriented and then they just crash jfk crashed jfk jr sorry i know man i know i didn't want you to find out this way i just found out about the first jfk i'm not ready for that yeah this is oh my god are you being sarcastic yeah yes i i don't know how to be anything almost anything else i was watching speaking of sarcasm i was watching love on the spectrum last night sure and you should call that love come on man uh you know i gotta turn off my phone you know how there's uh there there's the guy named connor and he's dating georgie i've never seen it emily yeah they broke up though okay spoilers well i don't know if it's in the show i just saw it on instagram

yeah she's dating a guy with williams syndrome now it really breaks her i liked them together huge dong and you know who also broke up who um the disney couple abigail and they were engaged or something here's the thing they were never playing on a level playing field really he's like a hundred times more special needs than she is really what david she like drinks one she literally in the song she wrote about him she goes you're the milk to my chardonnay if you're ever in a couple and one of you wait there's a couple where one person doesn't drink they're like just their special needs he still drinks whole milk you think people don't drink our special needs i think people that yeah i think

people that that whole milk is their drink of choice i think more often than not yeah they probably have something don't you think yeah so i love whole milk i do too but i can't be drinking it no i don't i got your you totally bought it i don't even i love it i'm not afraid to say i love but I cannot tell you the last time I had a glass of it, though. You want to hear something fun? Yeah. I'm doing a prank with Lauren. I haven't even figured out what the payoff is yet.

I'm just building the setup. Okay. Which is I told her I got us tickets to WrestleMania yesterday. I just texted her and I was like, scored WrestleMania tickets through work. Free floor tickets. I'm stoked. She's like, what is that?

I was like, WWE. It's like their Super Bowl, which I don't know anything about WWE. i think it is i told her it's in june or i think smackdown this might be their pro bowl because i think smackdown is their whatever sorry yeah i've done and she's like oh that'll be fun i guess i can't believe she was like okay and then i had like this is our prank isn't it oh no damn it liam you guys you guys have a studio now yeah what the fuck does it look like i don't know if are you guys in the studio i'm sorry you have it yes yeah let me grab something yeah i was just gonna fill something in here but is this the prank are we this is our prank this is the prank

that's happening emily's clearly been staging a prank there's no prank where are you gonna like do you just rustle my nuts or something let's go for a minute fanless ice bucket channel here i'll fill it somewhere else what don't get that on me i won't i won't i won't feel like a bucket of ice water i had to do my alice ice bucket challenge a few years ago but i'll just do it somewhere else is he serious that's the prank that's pretty good i like that i like i'm interested in that earlier i'm sorry there was nothing else i could fucking do that would have been all the time because he had a bucket of ice you had you literally wouldn't get up and leave i had to

put a bucket of ice somewhere and you were gonna see you ruined it damn it is that your idea or hers i like it that's a bummer you ruined your own fucking prank by sitting in here for five hours i came here are the only day i've ever been early to the pod no i liked that's okay thank you i liked it a lot fuck off guys what it was hilarious he ruined it liam came in for i don't know if that mike's got it liam came in and i i connected i tried to connect one to his chat oh nice shit um okay so you tell her you scored wrestlemania tickets i feel bad that that that was a good prank and i have never once been early to the podcast ever i mean they got it if they're gonna do a prank they gotta set up at least five minutes early no i was here at three

because i needed a place to finish my drafts yeah everything else is busy so i came in here got it I should have told you to take Steph's office yeah Emily claimed Steph's office just moved her desk and stuff in there kind of a power move um I just asked

Paige who was my boss I said could I temporarily move my computer in there because I need some natural light my office has no natural light it's so bad for my mental health and physical health that's why you're blaming it on um

well here's another excuse i have raging adhd and anytime someone comes in there tries to talk to me i'm like i don't get anything done are you prescribed anything for that yes i started something new recently so it works is it adderall because that's way old that's been around it's not a new medication i personally was prescribed something new for myself okay all right but No, Adderall makes me too anxious, so that wasn't the problem with that. Speaking of natural sunlight being good for your health, I was getting a haircut yesterday. Oh, that's really good for your health with the sunlight. What?

Getting a haircut? Getting a haircut. How? Well, because when you cut the bristles of your hair, they wisp off into the sunlight, and then it's good for your health. What? this is a real thing when you yeah they they wisp off into the sunset willie i'm not whispering off no no i wait are you yes okay they don't wisp sorry i didn't like know the word i think she's saying like like this sounds like like witchcraft where she's like the like no like the points at

which your hair is cut are more receptive to whatever the sun's got it yeah i meant like the dead ends wisp off and then the sunlight hits the like fresh hair we keep saying wisp off like this is sorry i that was like the first word that came to once the long the dead ends have wisped off right correct then they remaining hair they can more receptive to the vitamin got it c so i go in there d and i what's the one in orange juice d c sunny d no d sunny d but i'm thinking of the one in orange juice all i think it's the same thing the sun is the same i mean they're the same color i guess because the sun the vitamin goes from the sun into the orange and then juice and then into you yeah no i thought vitamins you know when people make the vitamin c

joke with the sea like i thought that was associated as sun but vitamin d is the sunlight one what is happening wait what what is vitamin the hair wisps off and the orange juice it's all in your hair okay so there i am getting my haircut and i told the lady i was like normally i have to wait like another couple months yeah but my hair has gotten so long so fast and she goes that is so weird all my clients have been coming in earlier and saying their hair is growing faster and i was like i just buckled in like she's gonna say something crazy right now and she goes i heard that because we didn't have very much of a winter and the sun was out,

your hair grows longer or your hair grows quicker because you're getting more vitamin D. And I was like, enough that like I would come in like months earlier than I normally would? Maybe. Pretty crazy.

After once it wisps off. Can you tell me the end of the WrestleMania thing and neither Emily nor I are going to hijack it with another thing that we're thinking about? What about Liam? Liam won't hijack it either. All right. no i just told her we're going to wrestlemania and she was like down and then i had like scott

be like i'm trying to get a ticket and dylan was like oh i got one i got one i'm in the floor too and i was like all right sweet we can all go together and like she's like definitely believes it but has asked like surprisingly few questions she just kind of seems like okay she's like is that like a big deal do you like wrestling i was like i mean it's like you don't have to love football to go to the super bowl right which is not a good equivalency because i okay actually wrestlemania i'm sure would be fun but i think it'd be a blast anyway i haven't figured out what to do with this i think i might draw it out set a date have everyone have her like think we're going to wrestlemania and then we just go to like a bar i think it's got to be like a concert

that she would be excited to go to that's good that's way better like you're like it's at the yeah wrestlemania is at the greek this year and then it's like ethyl cane yeah that's the move You could tell her you're going to WrestleMania and then propose. You could also. I think that's a good plan B. That's a good beagle. Beagle. Seagull.

Have you ever been to WrestleMania? Have you? I went to Raw. Monday Night Raw in Orlando? No. Maybe it wasn't Raw. I went to some WWE event in Portland, and we brought Pete Tarling, and he had also broken his leg.

What do you mean? he had also broken his leg he what else was the first guy that broke his leg or sorry i meant like we were going with a special needs guy who also had a broken leg and so like we were already gonna get like also in addition to his down syndrome it was poorly phrased it was poorly phrased it was poorly phrased okay yeah and uh what i meant was like we were already getting special treatment because because we were going with like best buddies or strive or something yeah and then when they saw that he also had a broken leg they gave us a sweet and we were drinking we were drinking sierra mist until the cows came home that's awesome it's awesome sierra

mist r.i.p r.i.p man got absorbed into a story so yep so walk risk i.t ice tea still exists gee i don't know the hell are you doing yeah yeah it does my buddy buckley's in town tonight buckley what's he up to uh he has dinner with his girlfriend's parents and then we're gonna get beers oh that'd be nice i'm excited i'm golfing with footy and then after that i'm either going to extend and play more golf with buck or go meet him at a bar i haven't like gone out on a wednesday in a while what if we like burn it to the ground you're you could i mean i would say the thing is if you drink a lot tonight then you probably won't feel great tomorrow that is yeah i've heard that i've heard that but i don't have much going on in my life yeah

i gotta go to irvine tomorrow we're gonna live show in irvine tomorrow shout out shout out what time is it dirty irv uh eight o'clock are there company tickets uh yeah i mean if you want to come you could but we're also doing one in la on tuesday i I'm going to Netflix as a joke. I think I'll probably go to the LA one. Is that the Netflix? I'm going. Irvine is sneaky far.

It's like 60 miles away. Isn't that where I went to get my putter? I don't know. Is it down by San Diego? No. Is it on the way to San Diego? Yeah. It's in Orange County.

Oh, Orange County. The Orange Curtain. Have you ever heard that expression, Emily? No. they call it the orange curtain because once you go down there it's like a different world you ever heard of the orange cheeto man no it's ruining our democracy i saw a video there's i've been getting a lot of uh videos of the queen regent and the king king charles walking queen regent isn't that what your wife is called if she's like not the queen

but she's like your queen so lauren yes exactly google queen consort yeah yeah sorry she's the queen consort now i get it there was a video uh of her and melania walking around on like a tennis court for some reason and then they're they're just kids in vr like just stumbling around this can you pull this up pull up like that's funny melania and queen virtual reality it i like couldn't believe what i was saying like it was like it didn't make any sense because yeah click it's like i couldn't think of one good explanation as to why what these kids would be doing this and isn't she lovely is playing in the background there's just kids like

stumbling around in vr this is like depressing it's very odd is that what like all the like kids that are are those is that what royal kids are doing they just live their entire life in vr vr yeah until they're until it's time to go to eaton college what's is that like a fat joke no it could yeah it could be a fat joke but eaton college is where they send them usually for like boarding school for some reason the royal family yeah and it's like weird they all like talk about how like horrible of an experience they have and then they just keep sending their kids there that sucks like apparently they get a princess diana what'd you say did you

hear that princess diana got fucking killed jesus christ yeah i heard about it fuck flan and i got an argument last night because i said they're not an argument she believes that it was an accident and i think there was something fishy what are the odds we were talking about that two days in a row i yeah i guess i talk about princess diana pretty often but i was reading michael jack i was reading about michael jackson okay i think it's crazy they put that biopic out why he's like a kiddly diddler but so here's the thing probably should have had a thought before i said here's the thing yeah no i just i knew i thought i'd find it along the way they also i think the biopic stops before like yes it's just a time in 1988 yeah it's a time period before he started

yeah doing that it's like crushing too is it the the he was an off-putting looking guy i'll say it we had like a skin disease that's what he said but like don't they say he just like bleached his skin and regardless of the skin color he's there his face is shocking yeah i just uh like if i walked in looking like that one day you'd like sit me down and be like what are we doing here yeah i mean if you're the king of pop i might give you a pass right right oh my god what okay all right we gotta inject some life into this i'm sorry i feel like i brought a low energy to this podcast no i don't think so i'm enjoying this conversation i've had a weird day how do you feel about the fact that his nephew is playing uh his nephew plays him in the movie yeah

huh he looks a lot alike at least they didn't do the like molesting part like imagine you're playing your uncle and then they're like and now the scene where you start true you're open everybody i think some people that were upset about that because they're like oh we're just gonna ignore this but we're already ignoring it then no one ever no one ever stopped playing his music like he got he fully got away with it right yeah i mean there's that if he did yeah i don't know i uh like r kelly was like doing the same thing right and like no one listens to r kelly anymore like because of that yeah i mean r kelly dude ignition oh my god it's uh but i wasn't like listening to that five years ago really five years ago oh yeah big time like

you stopped because of that yes interesting all right willie what does friday night smell like to you brother i mean listen if you could bottle up friday night and put it in a bar of soap which is sort of a the age-old question i think it'd smell a lot like this one from dr swatch your squash squash i said squash i said squatch rusty featherstone listen can i tell you something we got a soap dr squatch and friday beers just dropped a limited edition soap go friday night it's an online exclusive brick built for wherever the night takes you oh my god this actually smells so good and it also no wonder they called a brick it looks just like a brick i know it smells so good it's called whiskey

business it's got smooth mahogany and tobacco up front bold whiskey notes underneath finished with suede and spice uh zero grit so it goes down easy think of it as timeless smooth reliable in bar form and you can get a brick or save with the friday night three-pack brundle bundle available now at drsquatch.com we're also running a giveaway a weekend trip to nashville i call it nash vegas for you and two friends not the djs your friends the prize includes round trip flights for three hotel for two nights five hundred dollars catch five hundred dollars in almost friday sporting club a curated national itinerary and five hundred dollars in dr squatch products enter at drsquatch.com between april 15th and may 12th no purchase necessary rally the fellas and go to

drsquatch.com and grab the limited edition friday night brick before it's gone single or three pack let's get back into the episode i twisted my ankle in a softball game on monday yeah i heard you and rick talking about did you everyone sustained an injury me and rick specifically we lost on a walk off it was pretty brutal nate dropped it no he he did he didn't drop it it would have been a crazy catch uh was he in the outfield he was but he had a great game unlucky on the line they had their best hitter up and he hit a nuclear bomb it just went over his head yeah didn't they like get a glove on it i don't know if his glove hit it was close though and this was the first game of the season yeah and so the next day he's our graphic design guy

next day give 15 graphics requests before 8 a.m they're all they're all a dartboard with his face on it different variation didn't you guys not win a game last year i wouldn't say that we lost exactly why i did not join this season first season we won the championship second season we lost every game right third season i don't this might be one or two this is the third season yeah third season we were like 500 well i thought this was the third this i think is the fourth got it i remember i remember the dark energy around that team when you guys were not able to win yeah this team though was fun i did i had a i was playing third base i had some plays i was proud of infield's really starting to get chemistry mean teeper on the left side is like pretty lethal

is he second base yeah yeah how's your arm can you make it to first softball oh my god from all i was literally way back in the infield and i got a ground ball that it was awesome did you do like the manny machado thing where it like goes like just foul and you grab it and then you turn around you throw it all the way to first for the out it wasn't foul but it was pretty cool it was like manny machado but then rick as trying to catch it fell forward onto his face so i felt kind of bad so i had to temper it again i i made like an amazing play at third okay i mean i guess in theory would have looked relatively routine but it was like

tough to get the ball there in time I couldn't afford a millisecond of hesitation on anything and I got the ball right in Rick's mitt and then it kind of popped out of his mitt and he tried to go like dive and catch it and then he just face planted the guy was safe so I was like

really I made like a sick play and then it was oh my god here's can I have a dumb question yes are all throws in softball underhand or just the pitch just pitch that would be funny there should be an only underhand league from the out trying to throw a guy out at home and you have to throw like a thousand feet in the air but we had a crazy play two outs in the ninth bastion like is intentionally walking the guys she throws it really short and it bounces why is he walking

because their best hitter was up and it got it bounces like twice and the guy just hits it off the bounce and then starts running it goes to sam sam throws it to home his girlfriend joey at the play tags out the guy at home to win the game we all start celebrating because the guy i don't know i've never seen a guy hit off the ground but like i don't know what the rules are but also like if he commits yeah then like i feel like it's like if he was just like that doesn't count yeah but if he's gonna go and smack it then i feel like it should count and then would he immediately take off like it counted then it's and the umpire was like nah it's a walk it's a walk and then i looked up later and in baseball it can bounce if the ball bounces before the plate the batter can still hit

it so we should have won actually that's weird that's such an obscure rule that i wouldn't like expect the umpire to know that but if he had like been safe at home they probably would have been like game you you guys want well like they well that would have tied it but oh yeah i mean you know what i mean like he can't have it both ways you can't take off running and like if it doesn't work out then the ump just bails but i think i'm sorry it was like he waved it off immediately the guy just took off running got it got it but what zoe's zoe's the catcher yeah she was playing yeah sam's a pretty sam's pretty intense with baseball i'm shocked he would that has not caused any turmoil he's pretty chill when it comes to softball i get pretty i probably get the most animated

really i get really competitive he was pitcher last season for a lot of them really pitch yeah but now bastion pitches and that's good with me what's a lot of pressure is there skill to underhand to soft toss it's really fucking hard because you have to throw it like 15 feet in the air and then land it on the plate to get a strike could you throw like a worm burner that hits the plate what do you mean like could you throw a low one no like it has to go 15 feet in the air oh what yeah that's slow pitch is it easy to hit it no it's hitting the home plate from the pitcher's no no sorry is it easy as the batter oh yeah that's the whole point of slow pitch like you don't get like no one's striking out unless you're like whiffing got it or sitting on pitches that

and the pitcher is able to hit the getting struck out looking and soft pitch i did it my first ever app at in slip you're struck out looking yeah you gotta at least put you gotta at least put yourself i mean it's start you start with a one one count too so i think the my first ever app but i fouled one off and then why do you start with a one one count just to speed up the game got it i would i think you guys should join a league where it's like a pitching machine you get there as like different settings then there's like some strategy to it you know those pitching machines where it can like throw a curveball yeah like if you're up there and you can just pick her pick whatever pitch you get that would be awesome i want to

do like a baseball one i think a pickleball pickleball i would like pickle oh yeah we played pickleball one time we did then we just hung out don't you do your don't you do your beach pickleball i know i do beach tennis yeah on the beach how does that work do they roll the sand so it's hard no no it's like volleyball yeah like no you don't need you're hitting it over than it you don't bat it's only volleys yeah you had no bouncing got it got something in my ear there that's why i was doing that flan and i are gonna play pickleball on vacation and she likely story the hell is that supposed to be you're not gonna play pickleball on vacation i mean make it out the whole fucking time where are you going on vacation hawaii oh right right

right um but she's been talking a big game because they went when my dad and i were golfing in florida her my sister my sister's boyfriend john and my stepmom all played pickleball and the i guess the the court they were using is like a different kind of court that like requires like certain balls so like the normal pickleballs they brought that work at like whatever didn't work here so they were saying it would like hit and die immediately clay i guess i think indoor and outdoor pickleballs are a little different. Like, one has bigger and less holes and the other one has smaller and more holes.

I don't want to hear about a bunch of small holes. Wait, I have to pick bigger and less holes or smaller and more holes? Sounds like a win-lose. Like, a classic win-lose. But so she, like, they played, like, a half a game and had to give up. And she's claiming that, like, she won that game.

And so she now has this new confidence going into pickleball. Are you going to 1v1? No, they were playing her. No, I mean you guys. We're going to 1v1. Okay. And I'm going to smoke her.

I don't know. Dude. Pickleball is humbling. I've played it before and it's... But I played like often in college. I know how to play. I didn't. I never played often.

There were a couple kids. Actually, Buckley, who I'm having beers with tonight, was one of those guys. There was a ragtag group of guys that were really good at pickleball for some reason. i grew up with any kids that were like for some reason like paddle any paddle sport i played tennis growing up are you good i was okay but not good enough it didn't translate to pickleball wait not good enough for what to keep going i took lessons and i was like always like the worst guy in the lessons because it's like bougie tennis place when i moved from my parents moved made us move from pennsylvania into south carolina they felt really bad for uprooting

my life so they paid like god knows how much for me these like expensive tennis lessons and didn't catch and i was it was fun i had like no friends and so i was taking like yeah 40 a week i was playing tennis all the time but i was just not good enough at this place and then i mean that that's where like emma navarro was at the same time he's not like the top a top five player in the world so so these people were these like elite tennis players i don't think we understood what the facility was designed for and i don't think it was designed for people who were trying to learn tennis did the instructor ever pull you aside and say like listen it's this isn't working no they were like he should do private lessons and so then they were like okay because they were

just like wanted me to like them and uh what your parents wanted you to like them well i think they just felt guilty for making me uproot my life got it and move intent across the country and so they Were tennis lessons a thing you were like begging for? I guess. I don't know. I think they were like, we're in Charleston. He has to become preppy. Do something.

If he doesn't get preppy, he's going to get an ass kick. Sam played tennis in high school, so I guess it was in my DNA. Got it. Got it. Anyway. So would you guys join a pickleball league if I started one at this company? Or what if I did a tournament? What if we just did like a tournament?

Yeah, I think like a one-time kind of thing. I would do that. is is probably that that's like the the the thing with softball is whenever someone whenever Rick like brings it up at the beginning of the year it is just a time I don't know if I want to do that once a week like a Monday night Monday night's like me time what about Tuesday night me time Thursday mine Wednesday also mine it sounds like you just don't like softball i just like i don't know i probably wouldn't be able to because i'm already golfing at night usually or like having wine i've been cook maxing lately what have you been cooking

cooking is a stretch i cooked one time and i've made it last three meals what is it i made pasta what kind oh you made it last three different i thought you made it i've made it the last three I made, I made one batch of pasta. Then the second night I added a different sauce to the noodles and then I had it for lunch today. Oh my God. That reminds me. So I put a, I put hard boiled eggs like with my pasta. And so I've been, what?

Yeah. I learned this, that this is not a thing other people do. My sister texted me and was like, I'm not crazy. Like we all put. Or, like, we all thought a hard-boiled egg in your, like, pasta is, like, a normal thing to do. Like, chopped up or just the whole thing? We had an egg slicer when I was a kid, so, yeah, sometimes we'd slice it, but other times you'd just throw one in there. And it's, like, a thing my great-grandmother would apparently do for my grandmother, and my grandmother did it for my mom and my mom.

I don't know. i think it was like my great-grandmother was aware that like protein maybe was like important like a protein source in like pasta and so she did that but yeah we i i learned this like two months ago that like no other family did that i understand the world famous featherstone egg pasta it sounds i guess it sounds weird sell it no it's literally it's not it's not like you sell that famous egg pasta it's just a hard boiled egg stoner pasta what did you just maybe we should cut that the hell did you call me like a feathers egg my head's gonna explode both my heads are gonna explode um yeah i didn't say a bad word i know you didn't you said fag yeah egg or stone

pasta. I don't like Fager. It sounds wrong. On like several fronts. I don't either. Sorry, I was just trying to multiple dicey things it sounds like. Rusty Eggerson. I like Rusty Eggerson. We can talk about this later.

Bro thinks he's Rusty Eggerson. Pasta-y Eggerson. Bro thinks he's Egg-maxing. You're Pasta-y Eggerson. It's like you're gonna fucking name that bitch. We'll say Carbonara does have egg in it. That's like egg yolk. Yeah.

He's had enough of us. So there I am. I've been ripping through this carton of eggs, and I get to the last one this morning because I've also been boiling them in the morning because it's easier and less cleanup than frying them. Yeah. So I usually I'll make some bacon,

and then I'll have like two hard-boiled eggs, and I rush out the door. So this morning I'm down to my last egg, right? You have two hard-boiled eggs every day? I mean, you know how I get on these kicks. It's been like three days. It's not like my life now But yeah for this week this is what I've been doing

And What's wrong with two eggs is a normal amount of eggs I'm just saying I'm glad we don't share an office anymore I'm not like farting up Do eggs make you fart I feel like a hard boiled egg is going to have you tooting like a boot Hard boiled egg make you fart Question mark

Oh my god Oh my god bang high sulfur content got it okay so here i am this morning i'm down to my last egg i cannot believe i forgot to tell you this yeah i'm telling everyone this i'm down in my last day down to my last egg and up to this point they've all been normal dark brown eggs smooth as the day is long and i get to this last one and it's light brown not an issue they are there sometimes there are different colored ones and it's like bumpy i was like what this is weird didn't think much of it it's my last day gotta have my egg before breakfast or before work so i boil the water

wait you have sorry just go don't let me interrupt you i get the egg out and i boil the water and i put i have learned my lesson that i can't drop them in because they'll sometimes they'll drop too fast and crack so i put on a spoon and i slowly put it in there put the timer at nine minutes i go watch i go watch my tv in the living room and i get up there's like a minute left i go to look and it's like cracked itself i was like what i like i don't know but i let it i was like i love i put this in super softly i was like not a big deal google like is that fine it was like yes like if they crack like it'll immediately cook that part of the egg white like creating a seal no bacteria will get in totally good to go so i take it out and i put it put the pot in the sink

and i get the cold water running so that i can cool it down so i can hold it right and it's like it's like really cracked but like nothing it's not i can't see in anything okay and normally when you tap an egg on the counter it's like this was like hollow like made the weirdest noise i've ever heard i was like it's like an empty egg and so i crack it a little bit and i pull off like one circle part it is completely translucent and like a cut like a color in there that is like not yolk colored and i panicked and i just threw it down the disposal and turned it on and i called my mom and i was like what why would it ever be like this and she was like did it smell it probably was probably rotten i was like no no smell and she was like

if it was rotten you'd like no so i googled it like i couldn't figure out what was going on caleb and my mom were both like was there a was this was this like a fertilized egg and you just threw it down there just i wish i had like checked because now i mean you'd already boiled it so no i know it was long gone i know i know but isn't that odd i cooked it for nine minutes in boiling water oh you that was and it didn't cook any of it was like translucent and like there was like a like a brown kind of ball in the middle that like wasn't like yo chick colored well i don't know if it was chick colored either it was something though oh no well thankfully life begins at birth so so worst case you killed an embryo or you you destroyed an

embryo incinerated oh my god the disposal's gotta be like one of the worst places to go can you now if there's a bird stuck in your disposal can you google could a fertilized chicken egg survive being boiled for nine minutes okay sorry all right so dot maybe it's like that thing with that they say about crabs we're like or frogs that if you like boy if you like slowly boil it it won't even notice until it's dead who says who he's saying that about frogs google like google frog won't notice it's being boiled oh you want to hear some fucking dog shit i'm dealing with yeah one second yeah the boiling frog story is a popular yet scientifically incorrect metaphor rusty misinformation is back for a shot uh okay sorry what bullshit are you the best shooters

missed a few shots come on man uh i bought when i was in maine i bought this thing that was like a lobster that was supposed to grow to 600 percent of its size i think i told you yeah you did and i we i'm filled up this cooler and put a lobster in it we had like a big ceremony we all put it in and it is ass now i thought first of all how long would you expect that thing to take to grow 45 minutes it has been three days and it's like maybe twice the size and what i know like the whole point is like a fun afternoon activity for like kids uh pull this up so rusty considering you know how to make things in batches now why don't you make your hard-boiled eggs in like a batch it's a great question i slacked it like

that seems like a lot of effort every morning like when i make hard-boiled eggs i'll make at least like six and i also have a hard-boiled egg maker it's nice that's very fun i'll answer your question with another question would you prefer your hard-boiled eggs to be warm every morning or cold i don't mind either so to me the hard-boiled egg is not a breakfast food but when it's warm it's a little more breakfasty for me right i don't like hard boiled eggs okay i thought aren't they cold because you put them in cold water that just cools the shell down it's still warm in there all right yeah yeah it's just so i can peel it yeah i mean that thing's buns it's not even it doesn't even look like a banana just for scale well is there enough water in there

yeah it's the full cooler water and look look at let's zoom in on the one on the right i mean it's like isn't the point of putting something for scale like you put it closer it's like unrecognized like a banana like banana in water banana like three

feet above it is like not three feet above it it's like six inches above it I mean that's the worst fucking toy I've ever fucking seen but is it a toy that's the question what like

let's say it grew to three feet what it was supposed to be six times its size that would have been almost bigger than the container right so what would you do with it after it's

i know what your horny ass would do with it squinching squinch it we were gonna do a prank where we got a lobster from the grocery store or something and put it in there i was like lauren look it worked she would have lost her mind and i don't know then you'd have to have lobster for dinner i don't like lobster yeah that's a problem i i love lobster as much as the next guy yeah you know i'm pretty particular about my lobster rolls it's a point of point of pride for for us mainers guess where the best lobster i've had in the last six months is from whole foods the golf simulator place that i go to really it is out of this world and i i didn't buy

it bryce was like bryce was like you know we have a really good lobster and i was like really and He was like, yeah, it's awesome. And so I tried it, and it was out of this world. I'm a believer in it. I believe it. You know, everyone always want to know, everybody want a lobster roll, but no one ever asked, what's a lobster's roll?

Should we roadmap it up? Yeah, can I pee first? Sure. Sure. Sure, sure, sure, sure. all right willie i got a question for you what is your guilty pleasure drink pinnacle vodka and pinnacle vodka what what is your go-to drink for different occasions like maybe the beach for the beach pinnacle vodka the whipped and just real quick for me could

you rate your bartending skills for me i would say pinnacle vodka guys pinnacle vodka was born to be the pinnacle of value vodka from the beginning we have sought to do two things make high quality vodka and offer that award-winning vodka at a reasonable price distilled five times for a crisp smooth finish here's the thing it's a hundred percent distilled from cane and if i could put on my pinnacle vodka hat here for a second i'll get into the nitty-gritty all right cane sugar has a simpler molecular structure than sugars derived from grain the simpler sugar structure which bypasses the sacrification process grain starches must undergo means fewer congeners byproducts and fusel oils resulting in a cleaner naturally

smooth end product and i'll be taking off my pinkel vodka hat and they are proudly produced in america supporting american jobs and delivering american quality so next time you're stocking the bar grab pinnacle vodka great vodka at a great price please drink responsibly must be 21 plus can i tell you about mud water please so i i had been having this problem where i'd wake up i i would feel brain fog kind of in the morning struggling to start my day and i would drink a ton of caffeine and then i would feel jittery and have this like kind of like until i found the perfect way to start my day which is mud water right it's got you ever hear about people taking these like fancy mushrooms and they're like not even tripping balls they're just like

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at M-U-D-W-T-R dot com. After you purchase, they're going to ask how you found them. please show your support and let them know that we sent you let's get back into the episode all right i got something i got something just something to ask you yes i've been getting these ads and i'm curious if you've been getting them it's like a conilingus blanket have you seen these that's like oral it's like a blanket for like pleasuring your lady it's a i slacked you a video of it emily it's uh a video of cunnilingus no no no you'll see it's fine but it's like a blanket with a hole in it like right where your crotch would be for like ladies who get cold but

like still i guess want to like get their quickest way to get their like privates kissed the honey blanket can you can we watch this isn't this just fucking odd isn't that something we've there are some there are some things that i think we need to keep private no i think i'm on board because i could use this for sometimes i'm watching a movie or something i really gotta pee and i i take my blanket off and i get cold got it so i could buy one of these honey honey johns right and stick my ding dong through it oh my god or it could be fun if like you ever want to like watch a movie and see if anyone gets hard you make everyone use these that's the problem with game of thrones i get hard as all get out you really oh because

they're fucking going nuts on each other's bodies are there's boobs everywhere really and so get jacob and i will be watching it and i'm like i can't we're just watching like porn together so if you have this blanket then it would be like i'd be exposed at least he's not yeah i'd be exposed this is like you're at you're sleeping over at your friend your childhood friend's house and the only blanket you can find is the honey blanket nightmare god you get called on in class but you got the honey blanket on and you have a boner maybe you could like put your head through it and then it's kind of like a it's like kind of like a uh cloak poncho poncho thank you hunko all right i'm down i'm i'm concerned that like why you specifically are getting these ads

probably i mean i'm pretty sure you could use it on your asshole too this also doesn't make sense the way this girl here is like laying like it just there's that's not correct how would you access yeah how would you know freak okay moving on oh my wait why would that not be correct how would you how would you do it i'm just like it looks like her legs are straight yeah i don't think she's gonna like spread eagle on the ig reels right but like for the blanket might come off if you're if once you're going fully like this using the honey blanket on your good yeah like how if you were in that position where how would that happen well you're not you're like you could be doing it like this i think you're just laying like where's the blanket going the hole

right over your crotch yes like giving you access it's only giving you access to the i think the way to do it is is the man puts his head nervous before he lays down the man puts his head through the hole like a poncho and then dives on top and and yeah his head is completely submerged through the hole yeah i think that's a good way using the honey blanket but they're flipped the other way it's just their butt cheeks or like i would use the honey blanket for my face like i'm under there i'm fully under the covers but then it's just my face so you can kiss my face so i can kiss my girlfriend but i can still be completely warm yeah i i tried to prank flan with just a classic of mine where i prop up pillows at the top of the bed under the comforter so it looks like i'm under

the comforter and that's where my head is yeah but then i'm upside down and my feet are there yeah yeah and so she'll come and try to open the blanket to like see my face and it's my feet but i've done i think i've spammed it too many times because now she just comes in she just opens the bottom do you when you're sleeping is that blanket normally over your head no i think she just thinks i'm like maybe watching reels or something under there and uh so yeah it's a little little look into my life who up or you what if you use you could use the honey blanket solo like you're jacking off through the hole right if you're watching a movie right with your roommates or something and you don't want to be naked right but you want your cock out so i want to jack off

yeah yeah disgusting dude like can we talk about anything else like maybe like politics or i've been watching the news what new what news uh this morning it was uh i guess it's like financial news so it doesn't really count but i've just been here learning a lot about ai and about stuff like that it is it's on in the other room what channel are you watching i think it's cnbc oh yeah but uh boring what do you mean it's on in the other room like for some reason the like when i'm cooking breakfast i feel like the news should be on so i put it on in the other room to just kind of feel like okay we're getting the morning going yeah but i'm not hearing any of it does that make sense yeah all right guys we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna

hear your pitches followed by our pitches then we're gonna do am i the asshole or no you know what confessions then should we do a prank call do you do you have any prank calls we went over this last time we gotta we have to prep one if we want to do it cocks then we are gonna do this guy rocks followed by i have a very fun t it's baseball themed i have a baseball theme teach me something for you i like that then willie and i are gonna do sayings that don't exist and gender reveal parties that don't exist gender reveals gender reveals that don't exist okay you're you're you match with a girl on hinge okay but when she follows you on instagram she's followed by diplo and disco lines are you going on the date yeah why

i just heard that's like a thing that yeah guys they like hooked up with her i think yeah i think they like if they follow someone it means they like banged their brains up would you date a girl who's gone behind the dj booth is another question that people ask yeah but did she did she i just have i heard i'm not gonna name names but i heard a horror story about dj groupies this guy this guy's manager said that or was it someone at this show said that that knew this dj said that after the show all the girls go up to his suite and they form a line and he'll go in and take a nap and then he'll come out and be like uh you three how do you get on the line and do you have to be a girl and can you bring your honey blanket

three-part question you're waiting in the line with my honey like clutching it like i'm linus it comes out one two i like your vibe you can three you can sit in the corner you know what you can sit in the corner you're in do you see the cock office no it's like they have one you You know, like it's like the there's the British version. There's. Yeah, it's. Oh, Dwight, you fucked my wife. You know, there's like cock chairs in hotels.

Yeah. Oh, fuck. Stanley, you banged my wife. I got one. Oh, Oscar, you banged my husband. I got one. That was like. Wait, sorry.

Go ahead. It was like the cock, the cock situation room. And it was one of those hotel rooms where there's another room, but it's only like separated by like a half wall. So it was like a desk and like chairs all facing the bed. That's very funny. Oh my god. Oh god damn it.

Andy, you fucking plowed my wife in the annex. In her annex. You plowed my wife in her annex and you still want to be friends? You fuck. That's the cuck office.

Alright. Andrew sent Does Prank Call View want to do that as well? Nice. Let's do it. Can we read it? Yep. This guy says, My dad is starting a mobile bartending business,

and he's been building his trailer in the yard. Please call him and tell him he's got to have some mobile permits of some sort. You can also mention that he has another shed that you guys gave him a pass on a few years ago when he built it, but this time he's crossing a line. Okay. He's building a mobile bartending station? Is that what he's saying?

Mobile bartending business. uh hmm okay maybe there's something with like he can't if he's gonna have a mobile it has to always be moving otherwise he needs a liquor license yeah or like if all the guests have to be mobile all the guests no i'm thinking what's this like thing he could just be okay i'll keep it moving like what is something that like he would have to change now like like he needs install a track that keeps it going around the yard like a toy train oh is that the idea that it's like you go and park it like so i think he's he's like building it in his backyard so like right now it's technically a bar yeah and if he if it's a bar you need a liquor license so

in order to keep it a mobile bartending station we need it to be constantly moving so maybe you guys could take shifts walking it around the yard or i like that yeah should we do that or the bartender has to be moving at all times. But even that, that's like, he's like, okay. Yeah, I think. All right, let's do that. Someone has to constantly be walking around the yard. Yes.

Okay. Yeah. Hello. Hello. Is this Mr. Hendricks? It is. Hi, this is Mark from the permitting division of the building department here in Atlanta. Do you have a moment to talk?

yeah i'm not sure why i didn't talk to anybody with the building department in atlanta well i'll fill in those gaps for you so we had received word that and it's not a big deal at all i just want to i just got to fill out some paperwork i heard you might be building some sort of mobile bartending station in the backyard is that true uh sure oh okay well could you could you just walk me through kind of what it is i just we're trying to i'm going to bat for you here but i just want to you know get an idea of what's going on just so i can you know cross some t's dot some i's it'll be good to go okay um how come you didn't call me from your business

well i'm using my personal phone because i'm on the road today unfortunately is that right i grew up in maryland what about yourself loved it love to hear it yeah i'm not real sure about this call oh okay i mean we can come out and check it out i'm more just trying to help you out and make sure it doesn't become a bigger deal than it needs to be and how are you trying to help me out because my bosses are trying to here's basically i'll give I'll give you the skinny here. Unfortunately, my bosses are saying that because it's a mobile bartending station and it's stationary right now, it technically needs a liquor license.

You and I both know that that's ridiculous. So my solution for you was going to be in order to keep it mobile 24 seven, maybe do you have sons or anything? Maybe they could just walk it around, take shifts make sure it continues to move in the backyard so that it's always a mobile bartending station it's never in one fixed location uh-huh yeah okay could you i got i got a little train track i think i can put it on and and uh running around the yard that way it'll stay moving all the time that would actually be fat that was actually my original idea but i was like There's no chance he has a train track. Is that something feasible?

Are the wheels going to line up with the train track width? I mean, you know, I engineered this thing well enough to get this far. I figure I can put the wheels as wide as the train track. Well, I mean, that sounds like a pretty good solution to me. Did you get your name again? I didn't get your name. This is Mark Sanchez from the permanent division of the... Is that right?

Yes, sir. It sounds like some jackass named Dom or something like that that might know my son. No, sir. I don't know nothing about that. Is that right? Yes, sir. Well, you know what? Keep that thing moving around the tracks, and we shouldn't have any problem.

I'll let my boss know that it is now 100. If you tell him to come out, I'm going to sell tickets to ride around the damn yard, and he can buy a ticket to ride around it. You know what? I think he'll be your first customer. I hope you have a great rest of your day. All right. Bye, sir.

I love him. I love him. That was great. He immediately clocked the phone number thing. Yeah. But I played it good. You did really play well. I wonder if he has a friend from UGA that's like from Maryland.

I also think the problem was you said Atlanta. And I think this is like probably, he probably lives in a suburb. Yeah. So he was probably like initially like for Atlanta. But he also probably saw the number coming up, which is hysterical. All right. That was the permitting division of the building department. That was great.

Well done. Thank you. The building department. He was like, why am I talking to you? He sounded like a jackass that might know my son. And the fact that you did the accent before you even spoke to him, and then he had the same accent. Yeah, yeah.

Also, I'm from Maryland. All right. Should we hear a pitch? Yeah. He clocked your tea. mark sanchez i couldn't think of anyone i wonder who dom is it's got to be like one of his friends from college what a nice guy that guy was awesome yeah tell andrew to tell or i guess i can also what are the odds i was like we should tell him he should put it on a train track and then he has

one he doesn't have one i think there's a world he has fucking with you i think there's a world he has one i'm pretty positive what is the point of a planned power outage why is that happening on monday it's like they have to do something to fix the grid and like they'd rather just let people know so they can prepare for it like i don't know it's on may the 4th may the 4th be with you may the 4th be with you that's my c3p also i got a bunch of dms about leia is a leia as a princess because she was adopted by Bail Organa, yeah.

By a queen and a... She was married to a queen. Okay, I got it. Yep. I saw all those comments. Mostly because it says hello, Liam, Emily, and Will. Hello, Liam, Emily, and Will.

What is the worst thing about driving a car? Gotta do it. Transmission. Keep your... They have to focus the whole time and I don't want to, like,

watch reels. Yeah, switching between neutral and drive and reverse, I can never fucking get it straight. You're right. It's crashing into someone. Mm-hmm.

Okay. We're close. Pretty close. I present to you car arms. These steel arms stick out when an accident is about to happen and either you get back either to get you back on track or the person who was about to hit you. A drunk driver is coming at you 90 miles an hour. No worry.

These steel arms will block the car from you like prime Joe Thomas. Join me in putting car insurance out of business. Love y'all. My name is Mateo and roll towers, Rusty. That's the stupidest shit I've ever heard. Yeah. I mean I do think it would be a pretty big liability I think it would impale the driver

It would turn into some sort of jousting event Where the drunk driver Start like fighting with each other Transformers I mean what if the arms come out of my car And they take the drunk driver's head off Now I got a lawsuit On my hands

They could break off and like hit some pedestrian What if they get distracted And just pinch a fucking tree or something And throw it Yeah or they like pinch someone's nipples Well, can you imagine a steel arm from a car pinching your nipples? No. Ow!

I love it. I'm in. I'm out. That's the worst idea I've ever heard. All right, what is the worst? I'm Simon of this girl. You're Simon. What is the worst part about writing a speech for someone's birthday, or writing them a

card, or being a best man at someone's wedding, and you have to write a speech about them? the part where you say for those of you who don't know me the part of you where you say i i'm sorry for what i don't i can't think of something funny you go the the when people uh accuse you of using ai to write your letter oh does that happen to you no uh it's when you know you've shared so many good memories with this person but when it's time to write down all your thoughts you can't remember like one thing that about them that is very true introducing it's in there somewhere it's a it's a brain scan for your brain and it scans all your memories with that person and it will pull like awesome quotes that they've had like moments from

their life like advice they've given you whatever and it lists everything out then you could pick and choose the best stuff you want to keep in your toast or your birthday card. Love it. Thank you. What is the worst idea about a part of globe? What is the worst part of a globe? Oh, man.

The fact that the Earth is flat. The fact that... The Earth is what? Like, that's how I found it. I want it to be bumpier. I want it to... Some of them are. Some of them are.

But the fact that you can't spin it all the way around Just like one way What? You can Sometimes when you spin the globe It only spins one Really? Back and forth, you can't like do like up and down

Oh, it only spins on one axis Sorry, I forgot that term Got it I was gonna say that if you do the thing where you're like Spin it and wherever it lands you gotta live for the rest of your life Or whatever Like 80% of the time you're hitting the water Right

This is a globe that's only cool places you'd want to live Right And that takes up all of it So you can spin it, pit your finger and Punta Cana Punta Cana Spin it, point your finger Italy

Spin it, point your finger Stockholm Spin it, point your finger Tuvalu Spin it, point your finger Malawi Spin it, point your finger Spin it, point your finger

Spin it, point your finger If you wanna run away and tell me you're not coming out I can make you for a ride If you want to tell me that we're having a little baby and I love it when you ain't my nice Litter in the sky If you got another one Do you see she's going to headline Coachella next year, apparently?

Huh? Dua Lipa Yeah, that's what I heard I could see that Pasta, Dua Lipa with the baby All right, should we do... Can I do my Teach Me Something? Yeah

All right I got... This is per... Per Red Sox Palace. Okay. Instagram account. One moment. Per Red Sox Palace, in 1973, Yankees pitchers Fritz Peterson and Mike Kikik shocked the baseball world when they announced they had swapped families after becoming extremely close off the field.

With both men leaving their wives, children, and even their dogs to live with the other person's family. A decision that quickly became one of the strangest stories in sports history as it impacted both their careers with Kikich. Kikich's new relationship falling apart within a few years, while Peterson's lasted as he married Kikich's former wife and remained with her for decades. Isn't that fucking bizarre? They were teammates and they liked each other's families so much they were just like, let's switch. that's kind of awesome can you pull that up emily i just want to make sure i didn't get like pranked do you like try it yankees pitchers no you could not handle flan's outbursts you could not handle flan's outfits oh look at the bottom yeah click on that

isn't that fucking bizarre this is literally like this isn't there a show called like wife swap Yeah, it's like wife swap. No, I'm sorry. It's insane. Also, like, what about the kids? Like, they just got raised by the other guy. Oh, this was on ESPN. This was in 1973.

That was, like, recent. The strangest trade in baseball history occurred on March 4th, 1973, when New York Yankees pitchers Mike and whatever held separate news conferences during spring training. their announcement, they had traded wives and kids and dogs. Actually, it was a husband trade. Mike for me or me for Mike, Peterson told the Palm Beach Post.

Isn't that fucking strange? Do you think they're still swapped? I just told you what happened. Oh, sorry. One of them didn't last. The other one lasted for decades. What about the poor kids? Mike started to campaign for my wife about in August. He talked to me serious about it.

They had to be like swingers, right? There's no way he just brought it up. They were definitely swinging. Yeah. That is so fucking strange. You want to do it? Yeah, wait. Yeah.

No. Let's do it with the podcast. I want Liam. Can you look up... Teach me something. Oh, yeah. Can you look up Yankees-Lakers player? I was watching the Yankees game the other day and there was like some part of the broadcast where this guy was like, yeah, this guy, Steve Hamilton.

He was a relief pitcher for the Yankees and then he played in the NBA for two years. That is fucking strange. We're like Yankee. We're all over the Yankees today. All right, should we do this guy rocks? Yeah, that is weird. I was already going to do that. Were you actually?

Yeah, I'm not even kidding. So, this is the CFL Draft, the Canadian Football League, and this is the first overall pick by the Red Blacks. Great. With the first pick in the 2026 CFL Canadian Draft, the Ottawa Red Blacks select, avec le premier choix du repêchage, VV6 de la LCF,

le rouge et noir repêche, Giordano Beccaro. Oh, I thought that was his name. That's what I thought as well. I think he's just repeating the initial phrase. With the first pick in the draft, it's like, That jersey is going to be insanity. That's awesome.

All right, I'll send it to you. This is Peanut. Peanut. Peanut. you got your tongue out what are you doing your tongue's sticking out what's going on

you got your tongue sticking out why doesn't she just let her brother live I know I'm saying that come on man let Peanut do whatever the fuck he pleases I thought that was fun, right? Very fun. Yeah. I'm a big fan of peanuts.

The food? Should we eat the guy? Should we do sayings or gender reveals? I'm excited about both, so you pick whatever you want to start with. Sayings. All right. These are more sayings that don't exist. Faster feet mean higher heat.

All right. if you're given something you're all and you're succeeding there's going to be more pressure on you so you got to expect that that comes with the territory i love that sell the wool not the sheep i don't totally know what it means but i know that i think it could just be in a literal like business sense like if something's you know working just collect the profits don't get don't sell the whole thing sure uh trying to teach the bird trying to teach the trying to teach a bird the bible all right there are some people that it is not worth putting your effort into getting a message across to because they're never going to get it so quit trying to teach a

bird the bible and spend your time doing other things can't win the lottery without a ticket if you really want something in life you have to go after it and you can't complain about not achieving something if you've never even given yourself the opportunity to do it love it sounds like a encouraging people to buy lottery ticket it is mostly yeah it's mostly that save the save the coffee for the crash okay don't get too proactive about solving something and then you just create more issues like if you drink a coffee before you even need it you might just get jittery so save the coffee for the crash when you need something use it but don't get too antsy i love that uh house cat living with lions it's someone who might run with an intimidating crew

but at the end of the day they're still themselves and they they are soft no matter who how tough their crew is i have the toughest crew of all time and i'm perpetually soft uh all right gender these are these are gender reveals that don't exist okay you only feed the family dog all blue food or all pink food leading up to the reveal and then everyone hangs out the lawn and wakes firm to either poop out a blue poop or a pink poop that's great um this is they you know that stuff that changes the color of the pool when you pee yes they do that but they make the pool either change pink or darker blue love that and then the groom and the sorry the mother and father go in the pool and they both pee at the same time and everyone cheers and then jumps in and they all

swim and celebrate love love it uh all right i love this one i'm very excited about your all your friends and family are given a script and it's a play about the two of you meeting each other and then at the end uh the mother gives birth and the doctor pans to the crowd and says it's a blank yeah love it uh this is a medical procedure in which the father has his blood died to either be pink for a girl or blue for a boy, for instance.

Then, he rides a bicycle into a wall full speed. He then urinates in front of everyone, peeing blood because of the bicycle crash. And if it's pink, it's a girl. Blue is a boy. I love that. Live ultrasound in front of the whole

crowd and they keep it on the private parts and everyone goes up one by one and looks if it's a penis or a vagina. that's very fun is it like can you tell that easily i feel like it's more like the doctor's got it like i don't know and in this you can yeah with mine you can tell with okay here oh i got one uh the night before the father gets extremely drunk and is then revealed the gender of the baby and then they must spend the whole day the next day trying to remember what they were told until it is revealed the next day i love it that's fantastic am i allowed to say

that everyone's looking at the baby's penis or vagina i think so all right we love you guys have a great rest of your monday have a great tuesday and we will see you bright and early on wednesday motherfucker that's right i also just want to say thanks for having me i'm gonna miss being here we're gonna miss him we love you the support for three episodes and working very hard. Very fun. And I enjoyed being here with you guys. Thank you, Emily.