Will & Rusty's Playdate - the man with the golden ass

Episode Date: January 5, 2026

I WISH THIS WAS PANTS HOODIE: https://almostfriday.shop/collections/playdate-pod/products/i-wish-this-was-pants-hoodie  MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/  SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/@playdatepod?sub_confirmation=1  GUESTS AND PARTNERSHIPS: [e-mail] SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get 20% off + free shipping with promo code PLAYDATE at https://www.shopmando.com ! #mandopod  Playdate: https://www.instagram.com/playdate.pod https://www.tiktok.com/@playdatepod Willy: https://www.instagram.com/willdonnellon https://www.tiktok.com/@willydonnellon Rusty: https://www.instagram.com/featherstonerusty https://www.tiktok.com/@rustyfeatherstone Andrew: https://www.instagram.com/andrew_nelson_ 00:00 - intro 1:27 - gift exchange 14:25 - 30 minutes since our last sentence 20:10 - company christmas party 22:05 - last time I was there lauren was on a date 27:38 - ghosting  36:53 - rusty downstairs neighbor 44:04 - getting a stack of cash 53:15 - man with the golden ass 1:02:26 - rustys gift 1:07:35 - Olivia Dean 1:09:46 - mom advice 1:10:54 - medieval torture devices that don’t exist #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Mobland, the hit original series, is now streaming on Paramount+. We are the Honeigans! Don't know the name? and google us from the underworld of guy ritchie do you want to step up the ladder i want karma dead starring tom hardy pierce brosnan and helen mirren do i have to do everything myself you want more i'll give you more mob land new season is now streaming on paramount plus i was on the phone with skylar this morning and i was like all right man merry christmas and i hung up i was like oh fuck we had a we had the menorah lit last night and you had that shit

lit the candles were burning because who z and tyler uh the candles burned completely through in 45 minutes like gone like we thought someone we thought someone like took them when we weren't looking because they burned and just went into the little holes that was jesus working yeah it's like not in my house we we did the holy spirit yeah the whole the holy spirit was like actually i guess jesus was jewish do you think he does what do you think they do at his house hanukkah or or christmas at jesus's house yeah i guess they did hanukkah no i'm saying now like up there oh i think they just soak it all in it's like you're like on your birthday you know what i mean it's like if you win the super bowl you don't like you don't celebrate in the parade

you're you are the parade right yeah okay i like that i like that a lot all right so for the viewers at home played it played it it is currently december 19th yeah we we because we're going home for the holidays we're pre-recording yep this will come out on the 5th but for us big day tomorrow this is our christmas so should we start with the gift exchange i think so yeah okay andrew i want to preface something before i give this to you didn't picture it being this size pictured it pictured it i've had this is the second gift this has happened to me this year where online looks completely different size i will tell you i was at the mall and i went by a swivarsky store or whatever and i was like oh i pictured that being not not in a bad way i was just like in

my mind it was like this big what is a swivarsky store it's just like a gem a diamond brand it's just like a i was gonna say jewelry brand okay you have to understand this is like a luxury gift okay like that's a luxury item like a you're like a bougie minion i feel like if it looked any bigger it would look fake yeah that's why i was like oh that makes sense they're just re it was that big with diamonds it just is the real like this is like a real diamond but i love i don't think it's diamond is it that would be crazy it's like if it's a diamond if it's a diamond i feel weird Should I get my tester for my car? I love that you wrapped it.

Well, yeah. It's really, really nice. I'm just going to give it to you. Even though I, you know, know what it is. Know what it is, yeah. I mean, the box. I mean, come on. We still got to go through the whole song and dance.

So for the viewers at home, it is about the size of a Rubik's Cube box. A little bit bigger. No, but that's like, honestly, cool. Because like, what are you going to do with a huge ass diamond minion? I don't like that you guys are throwing around diamonds. I mean, personally, I think it's like average sized. Right. I think anything bigger, I would not enjoy.

Like a penis joke. Yes. Well, anything bigger would hurt your girlfriend. Oh, I do not want to rip this box. I'm trying to keep my hand away from the mic. I'm so fucking hungry, guys. Oh, no. I really don't want to rip the box.

Why? I want to keep the box. I want to keep the box. What are you going to do with the box? There's another box inside, for the record. There's a minion on it. There's another box inside. This is like a nice item.

Are you going to display it in a place of honor? Have you looked at it yet? Yeah. You have? Uh-huh. That's what I was talking with Ren about. I don't know where to put it because I can't trust it here in the office. But this baby needs to be, like, seen.

And nobody ever comes to my apartment. Why not? Because it's a tiny little studio apartment. Yeah, don't. It's sad. No, I've never been to your apartment, have I? I don't think so, no. Whoa.

This is, like, sick. That is pretty cool. Whoa. This is really, really, really cool. Whoa. It's, like, reflecting. Yeah. it's like the diamonds are dancing what kind of stone is it uh good question it looks really cool

i'm sorry it's not very big no dude this is like perfect size like i said like this feels like it's like true luxury if it was like a big one i would be like oh that talking about like something being luxury what in the context of like minions is very funny no it's like truly like a luxury minion well the one i got you is big but it is cheap yeah let's all get out all the if you look at it wrong it'll break all the minion collector forums that i go on this is like their holy grail yeah so this is this is big for me in the minion collection is that actually like a grail item no no i mean maybe i mean it's probably one of the more expensive minions you could buy does it mean more to you that i just found out i'm still being sued and i still got you a christmas

gift being sued for what that car crash still why she like she's just not giving it up it was her fault it was her company determined it was her fault and they're just like we'll still take 10 of the because if i'm still 10 liable so whatever like amount of money they award her she'll still get like a couple thousand but i would imagine she's been doing this for over a year and a half her lawyer's fees have got to be like yeah because the max my insurance company can pay her is fifteen thousand dollars so she can she can only get fifteen percent of that which is whatever like less probably less than she spent on the lawyer's fees i think she's in she's in kind of a sunk cost scenario yeah she's so far in yeah

because originally i think they told her she could get a hundred thousand dollars got it that would be awesome that would be goaded i would do that do you want your present yeah let's do it but anyway thank you you're very welcome this is uh such a sweet gift barbie wrapping thank you willie i actually bought that originally for lauren's gift and then i was like no i gotta be like i gotta be cute you're pretty good at wrapping thank you better than me no way pretty sick right that is sick lego reef wow see i know i know you've been out of the game a little and i know your surfaces are cluttered so i figured something that goes on the wall could be that's phenomenal willy wow thank you so much yeah of course that

is like a pretty pretty like big set that is too that is way too kind now i regret getting in the surface gift oh i got something for his surfaces i regret it i didn't think about the fact that you have no surface space anymore if we both did it then it'd be worse that's a funny you should actually be thanking me right thank you that's a funny place to start like a jumping off point being like okay it can't be something that's on a surface which is like everything well i was at the lego store and i was deciding between that and a different set and then i was like you know what you went to the lego store for me yeah that's very sweet of course well you got me like a sick ass chargers jersey yeah i felt bad as soon as i that was your christmas gift

100 yeah yeah oh okay i thought you were saying that because willie was like where's my no no i was thinking like i had second thoughts like did that conversation go i got you a christmas gift and then we decided to give it now yes okay so should i give willie his gift now big let's like do a train and then when you're over here you can grab yours have you been seeing those videos that are like it's like only fans girls marketing their things being it's a photo of like them with their family and they're like my family doesn't know that i just got ravaged by like a bunch of guys oh thank you while you're up no i've been getting like inundated with those yeah you are a pretty good rapper andrew's paper is can i open it yes

sick i have this exact shirt dude i told him you didn't damn it i mean i love it i genuinely i mean it's one of my favorite shirts let me return it wait what do you never wear it here i do wear it sometimes i feel like i i told him with with blind confidence he doesn't have that one yet i ordered it yeah it's like this looks like something so much that he would wear which is why i got it but i was like i don't know if he has it or not i'm so sorry i bought it at the show in june actually yeah no i mean this is obviously like okay if i didn't have this exact shirt this would be like the best gift ever look on the bright side let me return now you could no no you can give you could give it to lauren if you wanted to and you guys could match we could be

twinning yeah you don't need to return it i mean honestly the last show we went to i lent it to scott to wear and i'm so sorry i've never seen you wear it i i i'd never been he asked me and I was like, he doesn't have that yet. That's very funny. I was thinking, like, I was like, with all the clips that I edit and see, like, I've never once seen him in this shit. I don't know if I'm, like. I feel like I've worn it on the pot at some point. Maybe not.

Oh, my God. I'm sorry. But it is something you would wear. Yeah, a hundred. I wear it. Yeah, I love it. I mean, it's like you nailed the gift because it's like I love it so much I already got it. It was in the back of my mind of, like, does he have this all the time?

I also, the moment I grabbed it, I was like, is there a world in which I should just pretend like I don't have it? but i do appreciate the honesty i had to yeah yeah yeah i appreciate it because what if i went back and watched an episode and i was like wait and he never said anything yeah no i mean i i do appreciate the honest i'll i'll wear it are you sure i mean it's my it's like one of my favorite shirts i can return it and get another one no no this is great you don't don't that saves you i actually kind of like i'm like selfish it's like kind of nice to have two of them now so yeah it saves me a lot of laundry i can match lauren i can twin next show yeah exactly okay it's perfect thank you andrew that is also like you nailed the gift i was going through and i was

like is there an mj linderman shirt that you don't have or that's the only one i do have damn it it was it was just like so like something you it's like the perfect yeah you wear black i wear black yeah no like it's a simple design and i was like okay i think he would really love this one but then i was like he might have it all right well if it makes you feel better i had the exact same thought process when i bought it so you were christmas you didn't ruin christmas open andrew's yeah andrew open andrew's wait i open yeah mine yeah i'm excited this is a big yeah gift it's gonna be a motor bunny oh what is it dude no way is that an ai dog

that is unbelievable i feel like a kid on christmas that is unbelievable what even like what is it is it really ai or is it remote control moves around yeah no i think it can let this is sick i'm gonna crack this open right after the episode yeah we got is that an ai you weren't even on the producer for that but do you remember that yeah yeah yeah the king of frays guy yeah yeah i think it can move on its own it has a dance thing a sleep mode dude that is gonna be a hit at your parties oh yeah i'm gonna be out i went to like a toy store and did like a decent amount of my christmas shopping because i was like we're old enough now that it's not like like we can like toys again right like that's it i

would be stoked like you know what i mean like i was the same way last year i got my brother a drone as an extra gift because he didn't ask for one but i was like dude i miss being a kid and like opening up a thing i can play with a thing i can play with yeah yeah yeah like um like rc cars and stuff like that yeah i miss that like i want to get that christmas feeling again because now we just open clothes toys are also like the one thing that adults don't like just buy for themselves like if like usually if you want something now you've probably bought it yeah for yourself exactly but a toy is like you haven't even thought about that yeah 100 yeah exactly holy shit because you're never gonna be like i'm gonna drop money on a toy yeah but then it's like i want

to play with the toy when we were doing the secret santa like wish list on that website yeah first thing that popped up was a drone and i was like would be kind of sick i didn't know there was like a wish list i hope my person didn't put anything on it i would i i had a mishap with my person's wish list talk about it because it's i ordered something for my person and instead of the thing arriving the materials to build said thing arrived and i was like what that's like illegal you can't you can't be like this is what you're getting yeah and then make me do the work so i had to consult her wish list again and like you got her yeah so it's just wait why wouldn't you just give her the materials i did it's in her other gift and it's a note that's like it was i

was supposed to i wanted to get you this really cool thing but then they just sent me the materials to make i like can't even imagine what that could be it's the only thing it's the only thing that that could be candle it's like wax and like glass is that a thing like candle making yeah i mean yes that is probably a thing but what is it what could it be you are close i think if you have who i think you have who do you think also i heard there's been like colluding going on like every apparently everyone is just telling i don't think that's true i don't know who lawler has like i just i put in i don't know you have i put in i put in all sorts of work to make this thing go i didn't tell anyone and then everyone is apparently just fucking telling each other who

they have i only told dylan i also sniped billy this morning it was awesome i saw him wrapping the gift and i go that for blank and he was like and it was like a pretty obscure and i it was just a total read on like the vibe of the gift yeah this is like this is like my one thing um apparently the edit bay the edit bay fuckers have all been telling each other they have yeah they like hive mind in there i know if you have who i think you have she said this morning she goes we should get them on the podcast what she said i think i got a girl who do you think who do you think i have i think you have binder no oh or maybe or maybe i think you have hurley and you think he's a girl it's like a skirt and you're like oh fuck fuck peter you have a penis don't

you all right so will you want to give a quick update so update since our last sentence it's been about 30 minutes uh our studio equipment i think it blows chunks now cooked or something we have a new system in place where every third podcast that i'm on just it disappears into the ether which is super fun yeah um and there's a lot of the there's a lot of like it should be fine that's my favorite line well i like how it's like on us now it's like you guys gotta watch these lights if any of them turn off we lose the whole pot i know yeah i know you guys are trying to focus on having a conversation but if any of these lights change to a different hue of yellow uh you're all of your immediate family gets shot can we talk about well i just want to say

luckily we have a great new studio manager named sean and he came in and he looked at it and he said it's chopped to nunk so yeah i love i love sean i will i will say it seems like his new system is extremely complicated and only he understands it and that's the truth i was saying to someone the other day it is the perfect way to ensure job security is to create a system that only you understand yeah i uh when i i think i had a kind of funny joke when i came in this morning yes you did i was like hey is this your first christmas to sean yeah because he's irish he's irish and has lived in the u.s for like eight years he told like the first thing the first conversation i had with sean he was like uh yeah i used to have an irish accent but since i've been

in america it's gone away completely and i was like i don't think you've ever heard yourself talk oh i used to have an irish accent since i've been in the states it's gone away the first thing i noticed about you is that you're from ireland yeah i've been getting pretty good at mine oh yeah pretty good do you know what the only thing worse than being irish is being like being a goddamn american not being irish oh that's right jamie o'rourke was the laziest man in all of ireland what were you saying i have a friend who uh moved to the uk after high school my father i was trying to i was trying to stop it and i had a friend who moved and i was gonna do a thing like i thought that was great oh didn't you do

that to lauren back in the day hey keep her name out your fucking mouth actually that no that was binder they do that to binder all the time they do that to binder yeah um yeah anyway i had a friend that moved to the uk and i like facetimed her like a year in and she had a full-on british accent like a year into living in the uk and i was like that can't be right that's purely like there's no way you just pick it up that fast and now i respect that though and she claimed that she didn't have a british accent either and i was like have you ever heard yourself talk there's no way i will say british accents are so cool it when i moved to florida if you listen to my voice back then i think that was more about being in a fraternity but if you listen to my voice back

then much different than now i think you do assimilate to the people around you how is it different it was i just had like a frat scent yeah i mean i went that's not florida though that's just when i went to boston i was like overnight i was like wicked smart where's the fucking bah i want to fucking see him pack the car in the harvard lawn no one no one actually says that man man there's like oh certain words i can do it my grandma had a boston accent how was that for you awesome grandma the boston accent hilarious grandma's with accents it's so cute it was like the cute yeah i mean i barely she died when i was pretty young but what i do remember of her is

her accent and i remember it was very cool it was like memorable like it was like it's kind of like when a baby has an accent or like a toddler has like an like an australian have you ever heard Oh, yes, adorable, yeah. And you're like, that's hilarious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not even a guy yet, and you already have one. I like the girl that's like, no, no, I have school tomorrow. I have school tomorrow.

Or, my suitcase. The Barron Trump video? That's kind of sad, because that is the only person he knows. Because his mom's Slovenian. Yeah. Oh. Does he ever see her, though? That implies he only saw her.

Or they have Slovenian maids as well. my suitcase your dad has like the most identifiable voice of all time yeah and you spend and you spend almost zero time or like if you spend even a lick of time with him it would be noticeable yeah he he only was probably with his mom but yeah i have that itch in my throat you got that itch to just start fucking throating things yeah sorry i got that itch to throat um i have that itch in my throat that i had before i got sick last time and i am just holding on for do i do think it's that one and this is gonna sound crazy but i think there are people out there that have experienced this you know when you're you're like one percent

sore throat and then you go out and then you wake up and it's fine like like i think alcohol would like kill it so get fucked up i think it's in its infancy i have thought that too like during covid we were drinking all the time and i was like this is probably helping us right like alcohol is supposed to like get rid of germs yeah it weakens your immune system but i think no i'm saying i think if the illness hasn't spread yet it's only just kind of a little in your throat right now you can kill it the key is to create make your body such a hostile environment for no anything to exist like good or bad it's just nothing well we got our company christmas party and i heard you're crunching i am crunching i don't know excited to see how you pull it off i

am uh i am gonna i don't think i'm gonna stay out very late um i don't like the the the i can deal with with going out and anxiety whatever being even having even a moderate buzz around around co-workers is just daunting i agree with that yeah which is hilarious because you guys just drink all the time but that's different but like with each other that's different what do you mean with each other like if i get like banged up around something and i like make say something like i feel like that would be or like you know what i mean i was talking about like the harry potter videos and the catalina island yeah but that's just us that's just well caleb and lucas they're they're not even really like co-workers yeah they're friends yeah okay like i would be

completely fine getting drunk around i have gotten drunk okay fair i wouldn't want to get drunk around people that i don't really talk to here i was worried about that too tonight like dude like like waking up waking up hammering dance oh my god i grinded on like you don't have to like quit i grabbed by the butt lifted him up and twirled him around my finger like a basketball or something okay actually that one's pretty cool actually that was people were like holy move down the list are you gonna irish exit dude i might even irish arrive i might just exit what does that mean you don't know what the irish arrive it's when you just don't tell anyone you're not coming oh wait you're not gonna come no obviously i'm gonna come i just wanted to talk

about the i'm gonna come i i will say i'm gonna come i went to soda i went to i went to only the wild ones the other weekend which is where we're going at the party bus is taking us from the bowling out of there i forgot about that i liked it a lot i liked it a lot uh it was just i don't think it's big enough for our whole company you go out to like the back patio yeah but everyone was sitting down it was like intimate are you allowed to be out there if you're not sitting down i don't know i was sitting you know last time the only time i've ever been there uh lauren was there on a date whoa and i was there with girls that i was not on a date with but she thought that i was on a date as right did you like did you go to one of your girlfriends and be like i need you

to like give me a tongue bath to make lauren go i didn't do that i thought about it looks over from your date like your pant you're just like like bent over with your pants down fuck i'm so jealous just kidding you're ass eating when you saw her were you like arg arg who's she on a date with no um a guy do you know him i met him that night nice hinge guy no fringe guy fringe guy who's angus uh it was like this is my own personal fringe guy it's angus in character no it's just like a guy cringe guy do you want to kill him uh no he seemed he seemed like a perfectly nice guy isn't that the worst yeah i mean like i almost wish that he i almost wish no that guy stunk

no because then i would like that would make me think that you stunk yeah or i don't know no i think it's way worse when the guy's like awesome like this girl one time invited me to go study with her in the library and i was like hell yeah and i show up there's another dude already there and he's like the biggest guy i've ever seen in my life right his hand like ate my hand in the handshake oh and then he was the coolest guy i've ever met in my life yeah and i was like and they dated for like three years after that and i was just like i i hate to say it but like i'm happy yeah i get it i get how she landed there yeah yeah yeah yeah i guess i don't know i wouldn't i wouldn't want lauren to be with a shitty guy definitely not i would i would mostly want her

to be with me right if if in the rankings yeah but below that i think i'd rather like a good guy that isn't me but then she's never gonna leave that guy that's the funniest thing brooke and connor talked about this too where they were like i wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy nope i would i would definitely wish you were my worst enemy yeah i was like exes are all like his best friends it's not true like a group chat definitely do not have a group chat definitely cordial with with almost all i just think if we break up you can't date and marry someone better than me after i would hope yeah i would hope no i would hope they would because then it would be like if it was a worse guy i would be like why didn't you just marry me but what if you initiated

the breakup then i don't then that's my fault she can't upgrade she can't no if you break up with her you should only wish the best you like no she can't upgrade after messed up her life maybe that makes me selfish i had a huge crush on this who's mr what who's mr pro-life and she started dating a guy an older very cool guy in my fraternity i was devastated yeah it's horrible i was on tiktok today when i was watching some of those track star videos like you know that thing i did where i got interviewed about music and then i was like i wonder like how mine ended up doing so i like scrolled back scrolled down and found mine and i clicked on the top comment was not to brag but it was like something like oh i wanted i want him so bad or something or i want to date

him or something and there was one reply and i clicked on it and it was just like no you don't or something and i was like what the hell is that and i clicked on it and it was like a girl that i hooked up with like a couple years ago no way what did you do wrong i just like didn't i wasn't really interested i kind of uh i was the coffee the coffee lady that would bring you coffee no that was like freshman year someone that was a girl out here yes well don't like you don't like i pride yeah you pride too much about things and it's like it would be weird or i pride too much yeah that's a that's a that's a constructive note that's it happened in both of these stories where you're like asking it's like the more details i give like

yeah wait i love i would want that i would want people to be i would want people to be devastated that that it didn't work out with me yeah but i just remember being like excuse me what do you mean no you don't look like i'm like okay that's fair i was kind of a dick yeah i was or yeah uh there was a girl my girlfriend senior year of college somehow she went to send me like a screenshot or something of like an old text and didn't realize that my contact name was in it and her friend had apparently gone in after we broke up because she was like wanting to call me or whatever and her friend like to deter her made it something it was the meanest thing anyone could ever say and made my contact that in an effort to like every time she went to call or text me

would be reminded about something and forgot to crop that part out and we were having like a cordial conversation it was like oh my god like remember when like this happened and sent a screenshot and just had like a devastating blow of a contact name and i was like what the fuck and she was like oh this person made it and then we had that's the only one i'm yeah i think is not would not say nice things about me i had a phase where well not really a phase but i was i went on like three dates with a girl and i really really liked her okay she really really liked me and then she just ghosted me out of nowhere which like three dates is like crazy to ghost after like you have to like at least say something and be like this isn't gonna happen but just

completely ghosted me never heard from her again and it was like really weird and so i went on a date later on and i just wasn't really feeling it like the first date i was like this isn't really gonna go anywhere and i was like i wonder how it feels to like go someone like how can you just be so like soulless and just completely go someone not talk to them and like not even care so i was like i i'm gonna try that like i just need to know how it feels to be on the other side of like a ghosting because i feel like i'm always getting ghosted and i've never ghosted anyone and i just like multiple times that one in particular like made me turn into a villain because i was like okay we've been on three dates your villain or my villain arc exactly i was in my villain era

yeah and so i was like i was like i think i'm gonna ghost this girl and um what she ended up just to see how it feels like just to see if it's like really easy to like forget about someone right because i was just like maybe they just like are like i'm not really interested i'm not gonna text back and then they just like out of sight out of mind after like a couple hours or something is like how i imagined it going right but she ended up following up and texting me like three times with like days in between and i just didn't reply to any of them and i felt like such a piece of shit i still feel like such a piece of shit for it and i'm like how do people just regularly do this yeah like you would just have to be a soulless person to just be ghosting

all the time especially after three dates this was one date and i felt like the biggest piece of shit in my life and to this day i'm like i'm sorry i'm sorry i did that uh yeah why'd you do that like is this really bad no i'm just thinking like i've definitely done i i might ghosted people i might be a soulless person and you just don't care no i do i i just like i don't know it's like an i get like anxious and like i don't know what to say or like how to say i don't want to be and i think a lot of it is just like immaturity and not being able to just be completely candid and okay and then like enough days go by that it's just like it would be weird to say it's been too long yeah but like it wouldn't like i should just be uh yeah i don't know i actually had someone

come up to me in the street recently like maybe a few months ago like i was like walking down the street uh like drunk at like or like you know we'd been out or whatever and i saw and i was like oh hey and she was like why wouldn't you just at least text me like hey but it wasn't okay yeah it was like i was leaving town for a while and it was like let's maybe we revisit when i get back or something and then i don't know just like never anyway but then i texted that that night and i was just like hey i'm sorry like i i was a dick here i'm seeing someone now but i apologize for like yeah uh i should have been more mature it truly eats me alive i don't know how people do it i i don't know what to say like yeah you're right it's like a i would much rather just follow

up with the person be like this isn't gonna work out i know i like i don't know what my problem is like i genuinely feel pretty uh bad about it you guys are making me feel better you've never ghosted i've never ghosted and i was like oh that's yeah or i mean maybe i have i don't i've never done it intentionally but i was like that's kind of like a cool thing to do but now it doesn't sound cool yeah no it sucks i also think you guys but i also think i do it with like like it's not even just like relationships like sometimes just with like texting like i just like if i'm like anxious or like yeah uncomfortable about sending the text or don't know what to say then i'll just go radio silence to like i don't know or sometimes i just forget i don't know yeah it's not good

you're right i couldn't stop thinking about her for weeks why didn't you still think about it did you want to not see her again yeah i didn't and normally i would have just been like hey i don't think this is gonna work out but i was just like i need to see how it feels sometimes i feel like that's too formal well that's also it's like if it's been like not enough time then you're like you don't feel like you need to make like a declaration she followed up with me like three times no yeah yeah but what would you what are you supposed to say like i don't want it she's like let's go to dinner and you're like i don't want to no she was like i don't i don't think we should like i don't think this is a good fit i just did yeah just like i'm i'm sorry i just

don't think yeah well i okay i literally just responded to someone yesterday in a situation which like in the an old version of myself might have ghosted and it wasn't it was literally like a professional basically no like a person i've reached out about like wanting to like do a video together right and i like didn't really think it made sense like wasn't something i just felt like i had the time or like ability to do and i just like didn't i saw it on like monday and like hadn't responded and then it was wednesday i was like i'm not gonna just ghost this dude like yeah he's a nice dude that i just like i feel uncomfortable delivering the bad news so i've just been like out of sight out of mind but then yesterday i went and i texted him and i said hey

to be perfectly honest i'm not sure i have the time or that this is a great fit but i appreciate reaching out that's all it takes and i was like that was so easy that was so easy i yeah i have a problem with that though yeah i mean not that i'm ghosting a lot of people these days thankfully but that's do you imagine like ghosting like your girlfriend like you're like actually together do you think there are guys that do that i've seen like i've i go on reddit a lot like the people post like insane like am i overreacting or like on those like subreddits it'll be like my boyfriend hasn't texted me in three days what dude the stuff on those reddit threads are insane yeah if i didn't text flan for i think she would notice after like eight hours i would yeah you know what i like like

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say goodbye to sweat stains and hello to long lasting freshness let's get back into the episode my landlord called me yesterday and or texted me okay landlord okay okay guy with an apartment your friend with an apartment so my landlord called me yesterday you're hanging out with your homeless friend you're like i had to call my landlord he's like all right money bags okay um she texted me and was like hey the the or maybe it's not the late she's like a bro her name on my phone is like jackie landlord i think i just like didn't understand the no wonder she got into the business no i think she's actually like his broker or somebody she likes because i only talk to her when it's about this specific tenant that lives below

us she was like hey uh the he texted me again and is complaining about the noise above him and it's five o'clock so none of us are home yet i'm like five minutes away and i was like that's so weird like none of us are home right now and now i'm going back to all my original conspiracies of like it's not actually us yeah there's something like happening and she's like he had people over today at 2 45 p.m and he said none of them could hear themselves think like in a meeting they couldn't talk and they were all looking at the ceiling i was like okay first of all it's a weird thing like just how far away from each other are they like we're all sitting there someone could be like there could be a showing of stomp above me and i would still be able to like have a

conversation and so i text my roommates was like was anyone home at 2 to 245 and they were like no but the maintenance guy was there so their own guy was just walking around normally like trying to fix our water hot water still and that was the thing that was they were like it sounded like he was trying to get his steps in and i was like okay first of all like you're you're annoying you're an annoying guy you're allowed to walk around your apartment but i was also like it's your guy yeah and she was like we'll just try and be more cautious like i don't think you understand like it's your maintenance guy yeah they are fixing the thing that you guys fucked us over on and so but that like that was the nail in the coffin for me of like it i've watched him walk

around our apartment it's normal walking he takes he takes his shoes off it's possible he leaps when you're not there we're not there he's like he's like i'm gonna fix the water heater um but she still was like all right well he's very frustrated i'm like i wasn't even there none of us were there yeah you you gotta be better i think i i think i'm gonna challenge this guy to like an old-timey duel or something like a joust and winner gets to take the oh like a one two three but like yeah yeah if you if you respect each other you both don't shoot each other yeah you told me that like was it like that's how andrew jackson died or something hamilton ham that's how hamilton died he he was like too you're not actually supposed to fire yeah but

then the guy like thought he fired or something and then like shot him so any argument could just be settled by like we're gonna go through the motions of a duel yes and we both respect could in theory but it was kind of like an understood it was like all right we were close yeah and it was like manly to do someone like shoots the other guy in the head they're like alexander yeah he's like what that's how we do it in connecticut they're like we're not there aaron burr put a cap in his ass and then his son also died in a duel that's kind of how i mean as far as ways to go out pretty noble imagine your funeral but your funeral after you just died in a duel yeah all the women are like i should have he was

so brave i should have i should have ridden him while i had the chance oh lord you can't say riding on this podcast i don't think andrew can you say riding on the podcast riding um okay really pushing it wait did he not get his present i was gonna give it to you but i just have one question about your apartment floors are they made of that like wobbly paper that goes like wow wow wow wow wow is that what your floors are made of answer the question yes or no or your first made of that wobbly paper no i don't live in a bounce house i live in it i live sorry yeah i should have i didn't clarify i do i do live in an apartment not a bounce house what is that like like i just can't imagine how one person walking around your apartment is so loud

that people downstairs can't even hear themselves think if the if the that's got to be an exaggeration if the no i do think here's the thing we are pitted me and this guy below me are pitted against each other right now but neither of us are the villain it's the landlord like they built a shitty building yeah it's the property yeah oh also did i tell you we got our money you got money for the hot water thing oh like we finally got our bag what'd you get like a million dollars we got three grand nice each or total total which is like 750 each which is not not worth it but uh something it's something they're also currently being sued like we like looked into it they're like these guys are so it's three brothers that own like 65 properties in los

angeles and they're being sued like left and right i think they just like one of them's a dentist that works like down the street i was thinking about going down there and being like where is he and then he comes out and i would have i would say something sorry i'd have like all these brothers are like dentists but they own all this property somehow they're like real estate moguls and they're being sued by like the hoa of our building they're being sued by like the neighbor like they have done all sorts of it sounds like fairly shady things i feel like cut them some slack they're landlords right yeah so they're providing housing right so can we be a little kinder they're probably offering a fair price yeah they actually without them we'd all

be homeless so we think in the middle of like a six month hot water drought they raised our rent it was like are you are you a dumb guy do you hate like i don't know yeah so here's the thing we couldn't get a response out of them until we were like all right we're gonna go to like this the fair housing association and then immediately they're like yeah we can give you money it's like you could have just done this the whole time you're just assholes yeah i think i want to be a landlord i want to be like the land like your landlord's favorite landlord like they're like i might be shady landlords live in your building no no like they like respect my game god i'm like jet like only single mothers like but like okay what overt

only single mothers i adopt all their kids i raise their rents like eight thousand dollars a month and they come to my church yeah it's like a rinse and repeat like that like i send them to you you said i sent them to your business i thought they go and donate at the church you sent them to andrew andrew andrew like washes their car and like andrew's i have a church you have a building and he has a car wash in this scenario we are pretty good i mean that is just not a lot of people can paint do you have any word pictures like cash no okay but i'm thinking about taking now that i have a safe i think i'm gonna take money out of the bank and put it in there why because it's awesome just have a stack but yeah yeah like you you if you have money in the

bank you're making money off of it yeah but that's not baller yeah you're right because here's here's the thing like let's say i bring flan home she's not gonna be impressed if i show her my wells fargo app what she would be impressed by is if i like went to i was like can you hey can you go grab something out of the safe and there's like 10 grand in there how big is your safe again it's pretty big why do you have a huge safe for your passport okay yeah in case i ever get anything bigger well i don't we don't know how big passports can get if you travel a lot they get huge yeah i mean like if it's you if andrew had a safe he could put his minion in it right oh this baby needs mine is uh mine's probably uh almost the width of that tv stand and like almost up to

the yellow stickers are you serious what is the point because it looks cool you don't know you're not like you're not understanding the bigger picture how much was it it's none of your business actually it's like a thousand dollars no no five hundred dollars maybe i i totally see rusty's point on this if i walked into someone's apartment and they had a huge safe i would be like this guy you're gonna hang out with this guy more yeah i'm trying to expand my crew this guy has stories to tell yeah for sure yeah well it's also like you know i never know when i'm gonna buy a gun like i could buy a gun are you thinking about it no but i could at the drop of a hat and now i have somewhere to put it what if i get like a dart gun like a nerf gun no no no no like

like an intruder an intruder comes into your house and they just feel like like it's like like native american music and i'm like and it like sticks in his neck do you imagine robbing a house and a guy hits you with like poison that would be all done is this a stand your dart state like ground is like the thing you're shooting them with stand your dart state bro's talking about stand your dart state it is funny to think about if someone broke into your apartment you had to like do the combination on the safe it's fingerprint it's fucking badass you guys gotta come wait can we google this yeah yeah okay or i can just show you the model oh crispy oh crispy my lovely face oh and you turn that thing it's like it's pretty

legit i mean what's the girl doing it's just funny why is it funny you and if you came over to my house for the first time you saw a safe on you when i think you why'd you get a safe and you just listed things that you have around the house. No one's going to steal your passport. That's what they want you to do. Also, if they stole your passport, you would just have to get a new passport. No, they could steal my identity.

Also, you're not thinking about... It's not about what goes in it today. It's what I can put in it tomorrow. Sure. You know what I mean? I feel like usually people get it safe once they have a thing they need protected. Right.

Not a lot of people are getting it proactively. So maybe that's why I'm confused. but i'm just not up on i'm we're gonna get something really valuable and i'm gonna feel like an idiot right what like i plan on i think i'm planning on having a pretty big year this year and i'm gonna be buying all sorts of expensive things what if i buy what if i like uh buy like uh the crown jewel or something what if i stumble into the crown you can afford it honestly how much is it i think it's like 10 grand the crown jewel yeah you'd have it's like super reasonable it's kind of like a chick opening a chick-fil-a like you know it

only costs 10 grand or something like super low to open a chick-fil-a but it's impossible for them to let you do it like 0.2 percent of applicants or something get granted a chick-fil-a but it's only like ten thousand dollars up front and then they supply everything else so it's like the crown jewel itself is very cheap but it's but the application it's a nightmare it's not on the common app right i'm getting like fomo now from not having a safe like i feel like i should have a safe now if i if if i could give a piece of advice to people out there it's kind of it's the same reason i write down my goals is if you if you put it if you put it out into the universe it will happen but didn't we just go over your goals and you didn't do any of them no no my

other goal i've like i i've uh no that one that doesn't count that was my notes app i have a written down piece of uh i wrote my goals on september 4th 2025 and i will have achieved all those things by september 4th 2026 what are they like big what are they it's how much money i want to make every year how much money i want to save this year uh how many listeners of playdate there are uh my i want to get back down to a five handicap in golf one of them is the amount of weight i want to lose uh and then how many followers i have on tiktok which i already hit and how many followers i have on instagram which i will hit in a little bit nice i think writing stuff down yeah puts it out in the universe in the same way that buying a safe in the same way

that buying a safe will gravitate me towards buying valuable objects i like that you know what i mean although that seems to work against your uh your savings right you just gotta you gotta write it's a thin line you gotta ride maybe i maybe i just write like um inherit a jewel or something i knew someone named jewel once singer no can you i'm a big teeth person in relationships oh that's important yeah yeah yeah like really straight nice really yeah i think uh i think that when people have white teeth and they look natural that is the first thing you notice about them i go to white teeth roast beef i'd like you to cut that what's more important in a relationship he's just 50 it's the first thing you notice at an orgy white teeth roast beef oh you said it

no i was thinking like arby's i wasn't fucking thinking that you said it yeah but you were thinking it you perv nerd you know there's actually a guy who works here that just started named perv nerd you know my you know my my fake postmates name is red foreman yeah i heard jackson uh sean outside when he like had met the driver and he was like for red and uh and sean was like all right cool i'll bring it to him and i was like you were just like you know there's not a guy here named red how are you gonna go he was like i thought they said rat and i go there's still not a rat why is yours red foreman it's the dad from that 70s show i know but why did you pick him uh it's been that i don't know it's been that way since college keith gergo should be mine

who's that that's hunter biden but isn't that just a great name hunter biden is dangerous i'm worried someone's gonna poison you oh you know he used to live next to sam barrett isn't that weird yeah like think about how different their lives were and they just still ended up like 100 yards like here you know right next to him on the canals oh wait i'm trying to i think i have oh oh i wrote this down at 2 23 in the morning when i got up to use the bathroom because i was like this is so funny i gotta talk about it uh the you know the guy with i forget when i came up with this but you know the guy like the man with the golden voice no it was like that like homeless guy they found that had like an insane voice for radio and then he became like a you never seen

this no google man with a golden boy his mouth looks like a guy who has an insane voice they everyone yes yeah wait can i do it i i bet it sounds like go to like video and you're listening into smooth jazz yeah homeless man yeah click that person i'm gonna make you work for your dollar say something with that great radio voice when you're listening to nothing but the best of oldies you're listening to magic 98.9 this homeless man has a golden voice macaroni and cheese but his story is heartbreaking the voice just became something of uh of a development over years and i went to school for it and then alcohol and drugs and a few other things became part of my life i got two years clean and i'm trying hard to get it back but he couldn't have predicted what would

happen next and when i got the call that they were looking for a homeless guy with a golden voice i had no idea really who they were talking about until someone called me and told me it's you that they're looking for your video went viral i went from homeless to hollywood Mac and cheese. What was it? Mac and cheese. Mac and cheese. It's just like AI slop.

Yeah. There's a problem in the algorithm. All right. So this is my idea. Maybe it's a sketch, and it's the man with the golden ass. And it's like a homeless guy. And then they're like, come on, go on, turn around for us. And he turns around, and it's like, oh.

And then he gets skyrocketed to fame. The man with the golden ass. he kind of like it's just like perfect but the ass is like its own person almost like he starts to resent the ass you know what i mean like the ass is the he wants to be more than that so like he's still homeless but the ass is in like gucci and stuff no i think he should become super famous just for like i like that how money his ass yeah i ran with the golden ass now on abc4 we cover a local homeless man is making headlines for his scrumptious rump we send it down to dan withino dan there are women like weeping it's like it's like when the pope comes to town

people are like lined behind barricades yeah just walking the man with the golden ass i love that i had a really crazy dream last night i woke i had to wake flan up because i was so scared i it was like me and like a handful of buddies we robbed a bank and then strider was one of the cops that like busted me and i thought it was like not a big deal at all oh busted you i think busted no like busted me and uh and so we're talking and he i was like dude like why is everyone like freaking out he was like dude armed robbery is like 10 years minimum and i was like what i can't do 10 years in jail and then i woke up and there was i was still there was still that part of me that was like oh my god like did that happen like am i gonna have to fucking go to jail

and i woke flan up it was like i just had like the worst dream i was like i can't i think i have to i think i'm going to jail and she was like what are you talking about and then i explained i was and i was like in i kind of came to embrace it was a dream and i told her the dream and she like kind of calmed me down and then i went back to bed but i was like the relief i woke up with like a new lease on life yeah this morning i was like i don't know i'm a free man i don't know if you like i actually was like appreciate i was like this life is so beautiful i don't have to go to fucking prison that's funny i have your buddy arresting you and being like yeah dude 10 years minimum like i hate he was like yeah i was like i hate having to do this brother why are you the

cop it was terrifying i this morning uh lauren got up like mad early to go to pilates and i just like stayed asleep in her bed for like another hour uh and i when i woke up for real i was like i think when she left she told me to take all the sheets off her bed because she's gonna wash them she told me to strip the bed yeah and i was like i think right and then i was like yeah i'm pretty sure and so i stripped all the sheets on her bed and then i was like wait did i dream that what i was like oh no and it turns out i was right she did tell me to turn oh that's the sheet but it was like as she was leaving while i was like still half asleep so once i had taken i was like oh my god she's gonna think i did like a manic episode yeah so i like called her i was like

wait you told me to do this right yeah that's crazy it's kind of funny kind of funny it's just these little moments we have um that just make us all human i was at starbucks this morning okay starbucks okay there was like a clear like regular behind me yeah and she was like moving around the line the line was in kind of a weird shape and so i got in line then like 10 seconds later she kind of got behind me and then like moved to the side so it looked like she was in front of me and i was looking at her like i hope she's not gonna steal my space and when it when it was my turned to go the barista was like sharon like what can i do for you and she went to go up and then i like made like enough of a face that the woman was like oh were you in line i was like yeah

that she's she's the only one not in line so i got there and she kind of like reluctantly took my order and then when they brought the coffee out they were like your latte sharon like she clearly comes in her here every day and i was like is there some sort of hierarchy where if you go to starbucks enough you can just skip the line i think you move up one spot right if you're like platinum it made me mad it made me mad mad to the i mean it's kind of you you'll probably never go to starbucks again knowing me i'm trying to be better that'll be that's my resolution i saw stop stop writing off uh businesses the second thing like slightly wrong no i think you're right no no i won't be because here's the thing the i think the reason the it all it can all be traced

back to i thought it didn't taste right so at the end of the day it wasn't like i was in love with these tacos yeah and then like something did taste off i'm not even gonna open that can of worms yeah here's my thing i i thought i saw joe burrow today on the boardwalk i was like running on the boardwalk and i i do always see like i can always tell like what team the chargers or rams are playing because like one morning i was just like a ton of eagles gear on the boardwalk or whatever because it feels like whenever people come for a game like the venice boardwalk is like Yeah, they're already in their gear, too. Are you talking about the Santa Monica Pier or the Venice Boardwalk?

Just the Boardwalk. I mean, I go to the pier. The Venice Boardwalk. Wait, you've ran into the Eagles there? No, not like a team, like fans. I always see... It is always Eagles fans, too. The Eagles had a big showing a week or two ago,

and then there were a bunch of Lions fans this past week because they were playing the Rams. I can always tell, oh, one of these teams is in town. There's a Spurs week that they were playing the... It's Spurs week. there was like a spurs week and they're playing the lakers and then today i'm like oh my god like but like trying to be cool about it then he looks up so i was like and i was like that's fucking joe burrow was it no i looked it up they're playing the dolphins

but they in your defense uh angus and liam ran into coach o on the boardwalk yeah time so that would they they do go there i'm telling well that's why i haven't really seen like that i saw under 3000 again did i ever tell you that no like when my buddies were here like uh early november my buddy and i were walking he was like oh my god i think we just passed on i turned around i was like oh shit yeah wait i was like a nightmare guy like oh yeah he lives around here i also saw him on the boardwalk yeah no i'm just kidding isn't that a thing that russie does that just happened and willie was like you just want to one-up man i'm like that no he just had andre in his head and then he saw a black guy and then he came here and microaggressed what are

what are the odds what are the odds i would be listening to miss jackson and a guy that looks exactly like what are the odds that you know he you just found out he lives here you're listening to his song and you see a guy that kind of looks like him i always knew your brain's gonna make some leaps and balance i stand by it it was the coolest it was the coolest moment of my life i'm going to listening to miss jackson andre 2000 jaywalked in front of my car blow up it's a what They write stories about stories like that. Here's a question. What day is today?

January 5th? Mm-hmm. So if my cards get played right, last night, January 4th, I went to Katie and Allison Crutchfield's birthday party. Whoa. I know. How do you know that's their birthday? Because they are singers that I like. Katie Crutchfield's Waxahachie.

You look up singers you like's birthday? No, they're having a birthday party. is it like it's a concert it's like a ticketed event and they did it last year and they just they do a set of all covers and they bring out a bunch of guests and last year they brought out jeff tweedy wilco oh i like wilco uh jesus etc yeah they did they covered david bowie and then they brought she brought out will forte caleb heron like a bunch of other musicians well i like caleb and they do all covers which is fun too caleb was singing yeah her and caleb did i'll be by edmund mcclain like the comedian caleb yeah i'll be your crying shoulder is he a good

singer i don't know actually look up caleb heron i always thought it should have been crying soldier is this like a karaoke kind of party what is this like a karaoke kind of party no they're like really talented musicians uh i mean i don't know if anyone was recorded it was like a tiny event was he good were you there yeah no no no i was aware of it last year but i didn't go and so i'm the tickets go live at 10 a.m tomorrow so i will be on my computer at 10 a.m god willing i get tickets how are you going to make it from here to washington that quickly in just a day washington oh for january yeah i don't know storm the capital nothing look up look up like it's eating me alive can i open

my gift yes oh i forgot i've been i've i can't think about anything else i keep thinking about it and i feel so bad yours is mine is huge yeah i do need some of that back There's probably a college kid that said that exact sentence today. Probably. I need someone's bag back. You did not. Yes. You did not.

Yes. You did not. That is phenomenal. Another one. Is that Macamoran now? On vinyl. You don't have that one yet, right? not have this one i do you remember i asked that is unbelievable this is the 10th anniversary

edition yes i know wait that's sick is that why you were asking me a couple weeks ago i asked you yeah a couple questions andrew that is the nicest gift ever are you serious yes thank you i was a little nervous besides will's wreath you guys they were hot they were perfect well i went with the surface that's unbelievable andrew like a couple months ago was like um i'm trying to listen to new music right now like what you know like if i want to start if i want to start listening to back to marco like what should i start listening to oh that's a good way to phrase it and i think i said or you asked what my favorite was and i said i think i like another one of the best this is fantastic i thought you were gonna like follow up too and be like how did you like it and i was

gonna be did you listen i haven't listened to it yet i like uh i was gonna put it on and i was like let me say this real quick and then that would be a pretty like easy thing to get out of though because like how would you like the album like i i wouldn't be like quizzing you on like what were like the themes that he was talking yeah yeah exactly that's so nice thank you so much and i asked you i asked you too if you had a vinyl like a record player and like what records you had you were like i only have like two records have both in it does have the demos too probably if there's demos on the back i feel like the 10th anniversary they probably like throw extra stuff in there that's so cool andrew i'm gonna listen to this tonight yeah and you can

yeah you can use it as a poster yeah wait this is sick yeah and a 12 page booklet with new liner notes written by mac whoa that's cool made in canada and i know how much you love canadians i do love canadians get taper in here that's awesome do you have a record player i do i have a really nice one at home and like a whole like stereo setup and i have like two or three hundred records but whoa um i've i only brought a handful of the actual records still i just because it's i need to do it do you have a record player here though kind of we have like a crossley one like one of those like cheaper or is it is that what you have i don't know crossley okay mine's like a big wood mine's like an old time you want it's like a big wooden box yeah and you like open the

top of it and put the record in yeah that sounds cool it is pretty cool i have we have like one of those like i don't know they just don't i think my roommate's ex got it for him so you can say it sucks say it sucks i remember my freshman year of college my girlfriend at the time got me one of them i was like oh they just it's like it's like a it's like a nice gesture because you know that right we care about music and records but they just sound really crappy because it's a crappy record player yeah my friend chris laprod had the sickest record player when we were kids yeah and we used to we used to smoke smoke a little weed okay smoking and then listen to uh west side gun on vinyl what's that pull up uh pull up west side gun

him and his crew were like the coolest they were in griselda yeah oh that's cool he has really he he's 43 damn listen to listen to mr t by west side gun one of these days you'll like it do you think it sounds better like on vinyl all right if you have the right like setup okay yeah it's it just i mean it mine no mine does not like because they're they're it's perfectly recorded if it's coming out of like a nice speaker if you're listening to it on vinyl it at least my vinyl it just sounds like kind of the same but maybe like a little bit of like built-in speakers yeah on the thing yeah i think like i'm not trying to be like a snob but like i got really into this shit in high school and i spent all my money on it yep and like i think you kind of have to have

like a legit receiver and stereo speakers and like if you set it up the right way i i got mine to the point where i was like i actually think this sounds better yeah who knows flan's dad has like a legit setup with like the whole like yeah the i think it's like the one that like lowers it like slowly and it has it's in like the thing and then it has like connected to these super nice speakers and i was like even knowing nothing about record players i was like that is clearly a very nice one but i will say even right like i i also had like a aux input to the receiver and even just regular music sounds great on like it might have just been that i had like a like nice speakers in a subwoofer and stuff so yeah i don't i was listening to uh olivia dean on those beats

headphones that you got us yeah yeah and i was just going deep in her discography and i was listening to a lot of songs i hadn't heard before for the first time on those beats headphones and i was like holy shit like she makes incredible music like how do more people not know about her and then i played it off my phone this morning when i was taking a shower and i was like sounds completely different everything sounds way better through those headphones yeah it's insane they even the uh i've airpod maxes which i think is the best purchase i've ever made really i bought them in an air i was i think i was it was when i was coming home from amsterdam and i was i had a lot like misplaced my airpods and didn't find them before i left for the airport and i was like

i can't do this flight without music and i was already at the airport like two hours early and i bought a pair of airpod max and i listened to uh an elliot smith album at the bar through these headphones it was the first like real noise canceling pair i had and i was like this is glorious yeah i love the i wear those beats ones you can hear like every single instrument you know like i feel like artists always talk about like how much effort they put into music right but like listening to a song for the first time in those headphones you really actually get the appreciation we hear music so often through like just crappy speakers now we really do yeah your phone speakers yeah and after you've heard it that way it's hard to go back i think because

then i listened to the song again in the beats headphones sounds different and it doesn't sound as good like for the first time hearing it on those headphones it's like this is amazing but then after i listened to it from the iphone speakers then back to the beats headphones i was like oh it's like sometimes it's like if you listen to older music it's like nauseating because they i think utilized like left verse right more yeah so like a lot of beatles songs will like start and it's like just one of your headphones and like some other shit's happening in the left one that is true yeah the strokes do that too sometimes yeah yeah the strokes that's that's just what that's just what andrew calls a tuesday night that's the way you're whacking it all right

i'm gonna go pee what are some things your mom always told you when you were a kid uh if you close the car door too loud you'll wake up the driver if you sneeze with your eyes open you'll see how you die never eat food with your eyes closed you'll bite your fingers off diet soda makes you evil for the day wash your hands one at a time or they'll become fused with water and no longer separable you will have webbed fingers one big hand one hand for just one hand both arms every time you wear white after labor day it takes a year off your life don't stand too close to the road or a driver might give you a noogie nogi is sort of a rubbing of the head dome piece whatever you might say

men who wear skinny jeans are grifters cheats and liars that's all i had i had four of them if your knees ache that means it's gonna rain that's what my grandma used to say really she'd be like i know when it's gonna rain because my joints ache your grandma on some which young like kid yeah all right these are medieval torture methods that don't exist the sack stretcher it slowly stretches your sack until it's long enough to pull over your head and suffocate you like ball sack oh you're ball sack yes your testes the toe tapper it's a you're super comfy chair all comfy clothes everything's comfy but your toes are on a machine that makes them just wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle until one by one they just

rip off oh my god but everything else is comfy so you can only think about your toes the one size down whatever shoe size you are they're one size smaller than that and they're buckled onto your feet for life that sounds horrible uh the wood dungeon you're encased in wood and a million termites are released inside. It feels like you'd be free by sundown. It's... Yeah.

It was like a minor punishment. The human balloon, all your holes are plugged and they pump air into you until you pop. Would that work? Yeah, if your butthole and ears and everything was pumped or plugged

and then there was like a hose in your mouth and it was just like... Oh, you just go like, what about the hearing aid? You are brought to a concert where there's a band playing and your ears are slowly stretched longer and longer, closer and closer to the instruments until they rip off. Oh, my God. It feels like the music isn't even really a factor. Yeah, it's kind of like fun, though, for everyone else.

It's like we're already going to be stretching these ears. We might as well get something. Also, you're going to be in agony and then there's also like... all right all right oh wait i have one more thing oh no no yo no is he gonna bring out something funny or like a dog is that an ai dog i thought i saw lauren's car on the way here and i was like is she gonna be like a surprise guest is she yes i was with her this morning i don't think she all right so back in august september uh rusty was handing out ious

oh yeah if you donated if the co if one of our co-workers donated to best buddies they got a rusty iou and i believe it expires on january 1st yes it is valid until january 1st 2026 smart to put an expiration date so i'm cashing it in right now um i want i want back scratches don't write an ass your check can't cash brother right now yeah i'm just kidding go get go scratch his fucking back right now i'm not gonna i like you a lot but that does for some reason that sounds like a nightmare i'm just you don't have to touch his raw back i'm just kidding i'm just kidding i i just want to say that because i know flan has been cashed yeah go go scratch his back i'm not gonna do any more what do you actually want

Go scratch his back. Maybe you can do a little. Stay there. You walk over, scratch his back. It can be two seconds, but do it. Are you going to scratch my back? Rock your world. Oh, that's good.

I see why Flan is catching those in. Oh, lower. Lower. Lower. Or higher, middle, or more medium. Right in the middle. Oh, it gets so close to the center. That's really good.

All right, now we can end the episode. All right, we love you guys. Catch you on Wednesday. Catch you on the 7th. Peace. Hey, everyone be safe tomorrow, okay? Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Save our country if you have to, though.

oh yeah there will be a new pre wait no that's next year right a new president it's not every year it's not next year yeah damn every year would be awesome new president we may have to be fucking goaded um who do you think okay who do you think will be president in 2028 drunk mr bean mr beast i'm calling it now wait let's make our predictions and then people can come back and probably by 2028 we'll be like huge podcasters i have no idea in 2028 i think mark kevin okay i don't know i really i gotta have a dark horse jojo siwa she won't be old enough

yes she will she's 35 i think she's 32 i think um all right we love you guys peace This family is on the brink of civil war. Mobland, the hit original series, is now streaming on Paramount+. We are the Harlegans. Don't know the net? Then Google us. From the underworld of Guy Ritchie. Do you want to step up the ladder?

I want Comet dead. Starring Tom Hardy, Pierce Brosnan, and Helen Mirren. Do I have to do everything myself? You want a war? I'll give you a war! Mobland. New season is now streaming on Paramount+.