Will & Rusty's Playdate - the shrimp guillotine

Episode Date: September 8, 2025

On this viral Playdate, Willy and Rusty address the kissing allegations, Lauren gives us another update, and Andrew gets left on read in real-life. The gang also invent a shrimp guillotine and come up with the bad kissing prank. Plus, the boys draft Modern Family plots that don’t exist and compliments that don’t exist. We then open mail from the Playmates and as always, we wrap up with Rusty’s song of the day. JOIN US IN SUPPORT OF BEST BUDDIES: https://www.bestbuddieschampion.org/maine/supporting/#willandrustysplaydate&donate/5363257/0 FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP OUR MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/ RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: Download Cash App Today: [https://click.cash.app/ui6m/ba1zl21n] #CashAppPartner Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Shop SKIMS Mens at SKIMS.com Let them know we sent you! After you place your order, select "podcast" in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. Check DRINKLIGHTSTRIKE.COM to find it near you Download the BetMGM app and sign-up using bonus code PLAYDATE.  Deposit at least $10 and place your first wager on any game. You will receive up to $1500 in bonus bets if your bet loses! Just make sure you use bonus code PLAYDATE when you sign up! SUBMIT YOUR BUSINESS PITCH HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdPHd7Ps9TaX-TOozyLhDpr9Y7pFNMP9PX7cHuLxap1R78GWg/viewform?usp=header SUBMIT YOUR AITA STORY HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdQElfqdQutn3dzl5HcZfey6YWhbVd-n6XE7FkpfosWZyYhyA/viewform?usp=sf_link 00:00 - Intro 5:08 - Drag Racing 8:41 - Rusty and Willy Kissing Edits 15:12 - Lauren Update 30:16 - Left on Read in Real-Life 33:45 - Unknown Number 43:15 - Roadmap 51:14 - Pitches 57:00 - AITA 1:02:47 - This Guy Rocks 1:06:36 - Teach Me Something 1:13:00 - Modern Family Plots That Don’t Exist 1:16:44 - Compliments That Don’t Exist 1:17:56 - Mailbag 1:22:16 - RSOTD #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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As always, Playdate Pod is brought to you by Cash App. Cash App, where the money at? Cash App. when i was a kid i was driving my mom to the airport and i was playing drinking problem by midland yeah she did not think that was funny is that the i got no problem drinking that's midland yeah we going andrew we are play date play date episode 138 138 which is a great one because it always reminds me of Clyde Edwards Hilaire let's show me Clyde Edwards Hilaire 20 25 that's a good uh all right all right uh Brandon Jacobs Brandon Jacobs wait wait

Ahmaud Bradshaw wait let me get one haha Clinton Dix ahmad bradshaw who's definitely 30 something i don't know i think the problem with 38 is like if coach gives you 38 you're probably not 44 probably not seeing the field let's go with a 38 year old uh ahmad bradshaw oh 39 um tiki and ronde barber mario manningham age okay well i mean age 50 they were old school they were like look at mario mario manningham age mario what manningham that's actually he's probably like 42 now they're all 39 all right all right all right let's get

serious here um oc you many aura age but you're just you just want to say the name osi you just want to say both i the last two i guess were one year off and you guess one of those 50 all right all right all right i'm on the same team here uh sorry uh on uh draymond green age fuck it's 35 35 i think this is a bad way to start the episode sometimes you think people are listening and aren't riveted by this i think so i named like eight guys from the 2008 giants before i'm pretty sure people i don't get out of bed for less than seven guys uh uh because what if this is someone's first time listening to play that and they're like did they just do this the whole time yeah you're right you're right we only do it a little david

tyree age you're on like a giant's kick right now oh yeah i guess i should be going yeah are you a giant's fan no but i will never i think the my most formative sports memory as a kid because none of the teams I actually liked ever won anything. But my brother loved the Giants, and I hated the Patriots so much. And that 2008 Super Bowl, the David Tyree catch was cool. I remember watching that. I feel like I don't remember much from when I was like seven, but I remember that play, and I remember going nuts and freaking out.

Yeah, that was the first Super Bowl I remember. Yeah, I kind of remember the Steelers-Seahawks one, dude, because my neighbors were big into them. The Steelers Cardinals was one of the first ones I remember. Oh, that one, too. We were like nine. Yep, that was the year after this one, I think. Yeah, and that was the cover of Madden something on the Wii.

That was the first Madden I ever got on the Wii. And let me tell you, it's the worst way to play Madden. Madden's already not that fun. Oh, on the Wii? Oh, my God. I remember that. It was horrible. It's the worst thing of all time.

Santonio Holmes, the toe tap. I was convinced that his toe was on top of his other toe. yeah wait would that count no actually do you see there's a crazy home run the other day yeah glove into the pole yeah the guy like it was it was a it was gonna go foul probably but the guy caught it and then his glove like kind of the impact of the ball snapped back and he hit the foul pole and then it popped out yeah i wasn't that counts as a home run no way really but i got an espn note i get like red sox notifications and it was like fictitious home run because it Pull, or glove, comma, pull, home run.

Because it was the pesky pull that I hit, which is the shortest. It's in Fenway Park, and it's the shortest possible place you can hit a home run in all of baseball. So people were laughing. They always do a thing when people hit home runs in Yankee Stadium, where they're like, how many other ballparks would this have gone out of? It's none of them, because they have such a short right porch. It's like, why aren't judges good stats and stuff? It's all inflated.

Right, yeah. was that the stat where it was like this guy hit a home run that would be a home run in zero ball yes that was that i did see that yeah yeah i did see that stat uh i got in a little drag race this morning oh don't do that that's how people get hurt man play is gonna play i was i was going i was flying down or i know i was going down san vicente at a normal pace and at the end of it it does that thing where what i said oh i thought you were like like i had something i was saying like your neck needs to be scratched you're itching you're like you're itching you're itching will and i will and i've done so much podcasts together that we uh we feel each other's itches

but so the end of san vicente is one where it's two lanes and then the left lane ends and i historically have always gotten in the right lane i do it i play ball the right way i get in the right lane and if someone flies by me i go that guy's a jerk but today i found myself in the left lane let me tell you i'm starting to see it i'm starting to see the the rush these people feel because i was right next to this kind of souped up lexus which i didn't think they made an option like this but it would look like a race car and uh and we kind of looked at each other and he smiled and then i smiled and i just gunned it and and uh my car is is fairly fast it's as fast as any other normal suv this suv yeah do you have

a jeep yeah what do you think do you think it's its own category wait what is suv suv i think big car suv is like four-door not not sedan i think a jeep wrangler is it yeah can you google is jeep wrangler and suv i don't know why i'm hung up on this i really don't i don't know i just surprised me i guess yeah what do you think an suv is it's a mid-size compact off-road suv so i guess that's a type of us okay all right whatever i'm sorry i'm sorry i when i'm thinking suv i'm thinking like a one of those cars that like a tahoe famous people in an escalade yeah okay i would say that's even on the bigger that's as big of an su as an suv can get before it becomes another thing so i gunned it he guns it my dad always says he with the bigger truck

wins so if you're if you're gonna if you're if it's if you're neck and neck that guy will pull off and he just was not gonna and and i was like this would be the dumbest this would be the dumbest way to to crash my car ever is like trying to trying to have my my uh my vin diesel moment so i let off the gas and he won and then i couldn't tell if he thought i was being serious so i i was laughing and i waved so that he knew that i wasn't got it got it got it and then you but it was scary i've got the blood pumping what you guys are in the lane you're in the left lane and he's in the right lane my lane ends he completely has the right away but i'm trying to get in front of them and uh and so he yeah i just i just got right behind him i think uh i think you should

have gunned it and then slammed on your brakes and then got out of the car with a gun and shot him shot out all four tires shot out all four tires that's it how are you gonna pass me now no shoot all four of his tires and say need a lift where are you going yeah seriously anywhere i literally have nowhere to be uh seriously come on what are we thinking um have you seen all these edits of willie and i they're popping up i had people make edits like kissing yeah there's like kissing compilation oh i have seen like people reply compilation it's an edit it's a it's an edit my favorite was all the comments on the golf video that came out yesterday were like i know ristie wasn't drunk because they didn't kiss anyone him and willie never kiss my buddies man

i do too bro sue me yeah yeah you guys have been kissing in the um 12 beers case video all right you know what they're called don't act like don't act like you're not cold cases thank you i'm not like you're not a super fan uh yes you're right i'm trying to play down i'm worried that it's like a gateway drug type thing and like soon we're gonna start fucking all these videos yeah or like oh my god we had way too many beers i was saying we 69 we scissored just two oh we scissored in the last cold cases fuck lucas can you edit that out you gotta cut that oh my god no you wake up you black you have like all the camera guys that are filming that show standing there like keep rolling keep rolling are they scissoring right now oh man

do you think so i know i've heard scissoring is like a myth like i've heard that too but then i heard i recently heard it's not hardcore lesbians are apparently out there scissoring do you think there's a variety of guys that scissor with other guys and would it be would if they were god we have a platform if they were scissoring if gay guys were scissoring would they be rubbing gooch or would they be rubbing their buttholes on each other what i don't know what do you want me to say to that question i don't know man i want to get to the bottom of it i don't god forbid a god forbid a white boy has a little bit of whimsy and curiosity god forbid a white boy wants to learn about his sister's culture

scissors culture scissors culture thank you thank you that was exactly what i was looking for all right let's talk about something else we're about to get comments that are like make podcast equipment a million dollars i don't know i'm curious guys this episode is brought to you by cash app cash app does more than you think when it comes to having your back and making sure your money stays your money if you direct deposit at least $300 in paychecks each month and use the cash app card for purchases you can unlock up to $200 in free overdraft coverage if you overdraft unexpectedly there are no hidden fees manage your money on your terms and take advantage of free overdraft coverage up to $200 on cash up

today can i tell you something i woke up to a phone call this morning from a main phone number yeah i was like fuck that maybe is someone i know but like i'm not like i don't like answering right when i wake up right if it's important let's just send it the voicemail my bank account is overdrafted because i switched away from this local bank in maine and i just never closed down the account and then an auto pay thing went through anyway if i had cash app overdraft coverage up to 200 i wouldn't be in the hole right now yes guys for a limited time only new Cash App customers can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash for real. Just download the Cash App app. Sorry, just download Cash App and use our exclusive referral code Friday 10

in your profile. Send $5 to a friend within 14 days and you'll get $10 dropped right into your account. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by cash apps bank partner prepaid debit cards issued by sutton bank member fdic direct deposit overdraft coverage and discounts provided by cash app a block incorporated brand visit cash dot app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures let's get back into the episode what's like an animal that you've never gotten to see in the wild that you like number one to a good question because i think i was thinking about like a platypus i think would like make my head explode i really do i don't yeah yeah yeah because it's like such a cartoonish i would say

maybe an orca in the wild i think that would be cool because apparently they're not they're they've never killed a human in the wild all right pull up has an orca ever killed a human in the wild i know they have tried to drown some but they've never like bitten anyone yeah and then google read blank and ship number yeah wow although i guess part of that probably is like where would you be like i don't think i think they're way too big to come like where surfers are right no i think they're right there i mean they were like sinking ships yeah last year there was a guy yeah guys wrote like the rudder like shredded an orca and all of his boys just held that port they pulled up and were destroying people's rudders and like they're just like ah number

wait what it does not wear number why did you google them i didn't i didn't google for you all right just do um i was 32 that's All right, just one last one. Show me Eric Weddle. Eric Weddle? Yeah. Number. I know he's in the 30s.

Oh, 37. 32 for the... Damn. All right, we'll get him next time. Quentin Jammer. No, you just want to say these names. All right, last one. Quentin Jammer, and then it's it.

That's it. Quentin Jammer would be a good porn star name. Ooh, porn star names that don't exist. That's a good one, yeah. Ooh, that is really good. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you're a Chargers fan, right? Yeah, I grew up a big Chargers fan.

Can we see what Lauren has to say? Oh, yeah, what, we got a video? Yeah, Lauren sent Andrew another. We have an update. An unprompted one. Did you Slack it? No, I Slacked it to myself. She can't be on Slack, bro.

She could get a government company secret. Yeah. A government company secret. Government company. Why would it be overhand? I love you, buddy. Hi, you little freaks. All right.

I'm back for another update because apparently the last one was useless, worthless. I don't remember what the guys were saying. I think worthless. And I told myself I was never going to do one of these again because I felt, quite frankly, We're getting preached. Insulted. We're getting lectured. Andrew, pause it for a second.

We're 21 seconds in. A whole lot of nothings. also i do kind of like the move of holding the glasses like this yeah yeah put them on yet yeah and i feel like once they come on she's gonna drop some wisdom which is just dumb like jack asked me to take a video don't you want to just hear from me like why do why would i have to curate my video to be something that it's that i'm not you know um but i got a haircut that's my she's hammered right now well if you haven't already follow them and uh

girl beer it's going well Andrew's doing great he's killing it I'm glad you guys are all responding well to him because he's

the goat miss you dude Andrew and uh what else I might dye my hair like blue or something okay

um we got pranked I'm oh my god I'm so hungry actually I need to eat food before what the fuck

are we talking about so i should probably go but i love you bye all right let's say let's say let's say lauren you totally redeemed yourself because she let me tell you did the blue hair break should we call her and be like what the fuck was that i mean i i think yeah i mean lauren lauren i love you to death if your objective there was to redeem yourself for having the last one be in your own words useless in her defense she got pretty hungry at the end that was influencing sort of her whole video yeah yeah we should be lucky that in that hungry of a state she made this for right right yeah she's sacrificing for us is she hammered in that

video i'm hungry should have gone to the doctor dude that was that was insane it just that was insane it feels like she does she's she it feels like someone else starts the camera and is like lauren you have to do it right now yes like if i was filming this i would be like okay i'm gonna say this this right she was yeah she fucking ready aim or ready fire aim there it's all right that was uh thank you lauren lauren that was riveting willie i so were there no cups big enough to fit two coffees two coffees you know this is funny so i had this whole dilemma i was like the pot was full which is like a rarity and honestly i maybe makes me a shitty guy to take two cups out of a full pot but i brew so much coffee so often i brew

a pot of coffee leave while it's brewing come back and it's all gone like it's like people are fucking vultures so i saw a full pot of coffee going into the episode you said daddy gonna get his i said daddy gonna get his and i looked and the only big ones were like like more of like a tumbler tumbler yes but like sometimes with the metal interior they get it stays so hot too hot it's not what i want right now i want this is the perfect also two both of my favorite mugs were there this is my wait joe andrew that one beer probably this is my favorite one because it's a little bigger than the traditional mug and i like the little flowers and then this one is also just like the classic mug shape and so i said you know what fucking wrong i'm a podcaster i've

podcasted so hard for two years i deserve this so i got my two favorite bugs i filled both of them and i came in here i got two mugs one for the brains and one for the bugs you said that shit damn i'm on my billy shit giving thoughtful gifts damn i'm on my willy shit i'm scared where am i andrew what's going on get me out of here um well i was gonna say with the mugs we've had a lot of drama in our company recently with the dishes and the sink who are these fucking dishes like i'm a pretty messy guy i wouldn't just leave a dirty dish in the sink my question is who is even using the dishes here because that is what would you ever need

what oh my i bought all cold cuts and bread and i keep trying to bring it in sorry oh i left it i left a dirty fork or i washed it off but i left a fork in the sink yesterday listen if the dishwasher is running and it's something that isn't like gross then i think that's acceptable to like set an empty glass in the sink yeah but other than that like it's takes two seconds to put in the dishwasher i don't know i just think all the dishes here are so gross every time i pull like a clean one it always still has like shit on it then i'm like i'm just never ever gonna use a dish here and like i'm never gonna like leave food here some people bring like all of their sandwich ingredients like here wait that's literally i was just saying i wish i'd done

really yeah you want to bring like all of your ham and cheese and just have it sit here no not i don't think it's like a bad move i'm saying like i wouldn't fridge yeah like this office is so dirty i would never want anything that is going into my body to be like sitting around there every that fridge like like spawns they cleaned it they did a deep clean well you're you actually didn't know that they had you know you don't know they deep they had everyone they cleared everything out did like a two-day clean of the fridge i think it's still gross i texted will also keep my stuff i bring a bag and i keep that sealed with all my ingredients in it i put that there's like flies in there every time i open the fridge i put it like i bring like a whole

foods bag like paper bag with all the ingredients in it seal it put it in there and then i take it out make my sandwich on a paper towel i don't use ditches so so why not just make your sandwich at home and then put it in a lunchbox and then like leave that in the fridge two things one i'm always running late in the mornings as you know yeah for no reason i just cannot manage my time in the mornings two i kind of like the the way that my lunch breaks up my day and like if i order food it's not i love my little walk to the alfalfa and if i make it here i like i put my headphones in when i make a sandwich it takes 10 minutes and it's like a little task you know speaking of whole foods did i tell you about did i tell you about the friendship i'm forming with one of the

cashiers what what no are you trying to get free no we're not trying to get freaky key no we're not trying to get freaky key are you trying to get freaky he said hello he said hello a couple times ago you're gonna scissor him for groceries just cut to the chase you're a married man what i how i get my guinness is not not speaking of the beer if you work at the brentwood whole foods something about just it's only the slot that the guinnesses come out of it's a lot what do you mean sorry i also saw something recently that's like brusty will be telling a normal story and say like one word and then willie's like what the fuck is wrong with you sorry no i just meant like what do you mean the slot that where they where they're all organized

like there's a there's a row on the shelf yeah i will pull one of these the amount of times i've pulled one out and it's reeked and i've had to just grab another one put it down like i don't know if there's some sort of guinness prankster on the loose in brentwood but the way i pour my guinnesses i need the the drink touches the can and so i am it lit these literally the guinness their smell like it's so gross and the outside of the can no it's just like when you pull them out it like wafts you with like something i think they're just they haven't been cleaning the shelves whatever but so i've formed this new friendship with one of the cashiers and he was like hey man i want to run this stand-up bit by you i was like dude i'm your guy he was bagging

it's the guy checking me out didn't know that we had this friendship and thought like it's a weird thing to say to the whatever he goes i'm thinking about going up and uh and getting up there and just putting on a whole stick of deodorant and i was like okay yeah that could we can workshop it a little bit and i was like if you're gonna i think he was gonna do it and like talk i think the only way that would work is if you got up and for five minutes just silently put on a stick of deodorant yeah yeah i mean a whole stick does that mean your whole body or use the entire stick on your armpits i think use the entire stick on your armpits yeah i mean that could work yeah i don't like there was that guy that went on kill tony and didn't say anything he just looks

his face was just so crazy looking that like really pull up like this guy doesn't talk on kill tony his face is so crazy that everyone just laughs at him and after i think he like they like send them to the next whatever they do there they like send them to the next round here he comes he's gonna do like a crazy wait he's not even doing a face there his face this is kind of sad yeah this is really bad I thought he was going to do like three Stooges type, so he literally just stands there. That's insane. It's just like no life in a ride

Wow I mean the comedy standing ovation The entire audience is on their feet i kind of feel bad i kind of did feel like yeah i thought he was gonna be like at least doing something it almost looks like he just got nervous i don't know if that was his plan i think there was a world where he got up there and it was like working and it was working so he's like if it ain't broke don't fix it yeah hey new uh new snl members yes tommy brennan he's uh he's he's a he was brett's roommate for a long time yeah wow very nice congratulations made it he made it out the

mud of santa monica city and uh yeah that's very fun yeah the uh that guy killed tony looks like those guys on tiktok that are like i don't know how to tell you this but i'm the second coming of jesus and i i need you all to do these 10 things one is send me money yeah have you seen that little kid in india that like all i think he's in like a cult the cult is like revolving around him and they all just sit and watch him while he sits on the couch they think he's like the second coming and uh it's really weird they're like petting his leg and they're all just it's like 30 white women and men just kind of like staring at this kid while he lays on the couch and is like fidgeting with something sick yeah it sounds like the life yeah my thought with that is

always like what if they're right what if that is there was a kid and there was a kid in minnesota they're just like an american kid that the dalai lama was like he's the he's the next guy and so he's just not going to college and he's going over there uh and he made out with him andrew you know he used to know who i think might be the same coming who juan soto i thought you you were like me me guilty me or juan soto you know the dalai was the tali lama that would he would have children sleep in his bed to test his to test his um what did you spill on yourself yeah let's put coffee on my shirt he would have like he would have like girls sleep in his bed to uh test his willpower like that doesn't make you a

good guy that's just admitting that you're it's not like proving that you have willpower it's just saying admitting that you they're like young women oh yeah yep not a good guy yeah he was like terrible that was dalai gama dalai gama come all right we started i got a question oh actually i guess this is you know what this is actually a pitch so i'm gonna make it my pitch today okay okay if we started a cult what are the rules like would you go would you go you got to pick one direction to go really far in um what do you mean either like like it's like some cults are like absolutely no sex and it's like abstinence and everything's like whatever or there's there are guys where it's like everyone's wives are no vaping no vaping dude my cleaning i put i threw

away my vape in my in my uh waste basket next to my toilet the cleaning people came uh while i was gone and i came back and they had put it on my counter so i because it was it was visibly full it was that one we bought after harry potter world so i i have two theories either she was like he didn't mean to throw this no one would throw out a full vape or she saw it was hitting it and then forgot it on the counter here's an option too i've always thought about this for a cleaning person with a vape suck if you suck it with a vacuum would it make like the biggest vape like maybe they vape box your house with the vacuum could you do that you think maybe of course You think they'd vape box my house?

You ever try and hop up? I remember trying to hop box my friend's car when we got vapes. It takes forever, right? It takes... Who was the guy that pushed Sisyphus? It's like a Sisyphusian effort. Oh, like he's pushing the rock up there? Yeah, you'll never be able to get the rock to the top of it.

You can get it a little... You can get it into a Stratus cloud, but no Nimbus. I had Sisyphus in high school. what like a syphilis joke i guess wait andrew can you tell can you tell willie the the sex thing you told me yeah yeah how did we get on this topic tell me this we were talking oh we were talking about how uh when i was in college we were playing one of those games where it was like give out three drinks if you've ever blank or like yeah what's the like what's the weirdest thing you've ever said in bed and i i'm like a notoriously quiet person when i'm making

making love oh i was like what like i'm not i'm not talking dirty or whatever but i was like i have to come up with a with an answer for this these are like new like my new friends in college and i just lied and said uh i was like i don't know maybe i've called someone like mommy in bed and everyone was like what and like the girl i was hooking up with at the time was like really like no way and and uh and then andrew told me potentially potentially my favorite yeah i was telling him because he was like yeah like i'm notoriously pretty quiet in bed yeah and i was like yeah i remember the first couple times i had sex like i didn't know like what to say that was like sexy you know but i felt like i should say something so one time i just go i go whose pussy

is this and she didn't reply she just acted like she didn't hear me we're the only two in the room completely silent no music why did you say that because i was like i was like that's what people say i have heard that people say that i was like that's just what people say in bed and she just didn't say anything bad she just doesn't respond forthcoming you are like like she was just like like she like left me on red in person that's did she look at you like no she didn't even look at me face the other way but yeah she just pulls her phone out and starts watching reels full volume would be better if that's all time that's so fucking funny yeah i was like we'll never say that again or something yeah you said that and then she's like

mine right yeah of course and yes yes as it should be queen come on yes feminism of course oh man that is so that's hysterical oh putting yourself out there too and just getting no response are you are you vocal oh i'm oh loudy no obviously i have no idea what i'm doing yeah i'm a guy i don't know if i've already told you this but this i i added another layer to one of my favorite stories this kid in our high school got kicked out of our high school for he got a little excited during health class another layer to this uh my sister's boyfriend came to visit uh in booth bay and uh and i was telling someone that story and he was like oh my god that kid went because he transferred into my sister's boyfriend's high school and we were like

he he just told us he wanted to be on a better hockey team and so he i broke the news that his like high school goalie all of high school got kicked out of our high school for getting a little excited during health i mean what is he gonna say i jerked off in health class i mean yeah i get everyone deserves a second chance yeah oh my god i watched a documentary last night you guys gotta watch this it's called unknown caller have you seen this this girl is a true story this girl is in lives in like a small town in michigan and uh gets these texts in a group chat with her boyfriend in an unknown number and it's like like your boyfriend hates you like he wants to be with me whatever and and then it escalates to the point where she's saying like

naughty things that she did with the boyfriend whatever and then it's like ruining these kids lives like they get like 50 to 60 texts a day from this like random number and they were using one of those apps that every time it would be a new number so they like couldn't trace who it was goes on for like two years the moms of the kids are trying to figure it out figure out who it is they're like going to the school the police get involved like it's like criminal felony stalking at this point they can't figure it out and then the fbi gets involved and they put this like brilliant guy on it who like he specializes in this and they he subpoenas like verizon and then like whatever gets the ip addresses the whole time for two years it was the girl's mom like

catfishing her daughter and her boyfriend and like harassing them and the mom at the the documentary the way they don't do it it's like a complete surprise at the end like the mom is talking as if she was actually trying to figure out who it was and uh some of the texts were like my boobs in his face like like really like weird stuff and so the mom goes to jail and then she comes back she gets out and she's doing this these interviews and at the end you would think she would be like at the end you would think that's gonna let all the carbonation out nice at the end you think she would be like yeah that was like i really messed up and like i was sick and and you know i whatever her thing was like the way she rationalized it was people

nobody's perfect people do crimes all the time a lot of you out there i bet have drove drunk and if you got caught you'd be in the exact same position that i was that i'm in right now being like like in her head all crimes are the same and yeah that's it was just fucking so the cop comes over and we get to watch the body cam footage and she breaks the news that it's the mom and the girl is just like shocked obviously her mom was harassing her for 20 what was her motivation they didn't get like a good answer she just said she like was saying she was trying to protect her daughter or i don't know it was really well i mean family comes first right i've you know i've been watching breaking bad and i've decided sometimes you got to do some

horrible things so do you hate skylar yet um i'm scared i don't want you to spoil anything no she's like that the whole show i just at some point you start i started to side with him like uh like walter white's like the bad guy in the thing but because you're watching it from like his point of view you're like yeah what a his bitch wife doesn't want him to cook meth like she's just doing like yeah what any woman would do and and i came out of it being like i hate her she's not letting him cook the only guy i don't like is walt jr but everyone else is pretty redeemable no i like the guy that skylar's banging right now i kind of fuck with that guy's vibe which guy

all right i don't want to i'm scared no i genuinely okay i don't want to i don't want i'm scared i just don't want to talk about it with anyone because i don't want you love this show what's that you love this show what season are you on i'm in mid season three it's the her boss benicky oh oh yeah i don't like that guy but the fact that you said which guy is like oh great no no it doesn't matter i don't want to talk i'm getting i get paranoid like like fucking scott said something the other night that tipped my hand and i was mad who's like i don't want to hear about scott's scott's tip in your hand his tip was in my hand and then you guys do his tip sitting in my hand and he spoils the show for me we were sharing a beautiful moment his tip was in

my hand i was it was like our other roommate was like does he know blank there's some blank no blank and he's like oh no not yet and i was like fuck damn will he fucked you or he didn't no scott fucked me what will does to get his goodness however you get your news will and i uh will and i met someone yesterday who's a meteorologist and uh and she said oh lord she said that um that they just get their news from the same places like we do and then she just reports it a little bit earlier than we would like be awake wait where does she get her news at like like just you they just like log on to like cnn and they're like oh this is what the weather is and then they just reported on their like local one oh that's kind

of true i used to work for a radio station that's what we would do we would just do the radio station um i was like producer so similar to this but talked way and welcome back it's andrew like that would be like you that was that was me that was literally me yeah she said that she uh she predicted it was going to be sunny and then she walked out of the news station it was drizzling and she was like oh my career my career is over that is funny that's one of those jobs where like if you if you fuck up like literally everyone knows you got it wrong everyone that watches the local news for their weather why do you get yours i don't i actually stopped looking at the weather it's so like consistent here i really don't really care yeah that's the weird thing

about living in la is that i don't think about weather being a factor when i go traveling and so i'll just be like i'll just be like yeah it's gonna be perfectly sunny and nice and i can wear whatever and then i get there and it's like rains the whole week and i'm like oh i forgot rain was a thing we got we got a nice little fog and rain like my first day in maine and flan and i were like oh this is awesome and like we never get this like this is that we love this and everyone else was like fuck you yeah that's like i didn't realize how brutal of a comment that was well in maine it rained every saturday in june or something yeah wow how do you know that because Everyone was bitching about it when I was up there in July.

They were like, it rained 13 out of the last 14 Saturdays or something. It was like an insane streak, this. Your dad was very excited about the sunset last night on his Instagram story. Yeah, he was sunset maxing. Well, they're up in Swans Island, which is like up in northern Maine somewhere. Yeah. Beautiful stuff. Yeah.

all right this episode is brought to you by skims you've heard me talk about this skims have changed the game for me in the underwear department game changer game changer alert uh my my favorite thing about skims i've said this a million times where they are on your thigh they are staying there for the rest of the day they're not riding up your little butt crack and doing all that stuff that you know other brands have been doing uh they're so soft too i i gave my dad a pack because i'm just swimming in skims at this point skimming in them he he i don't even know if he was a briefs guy until then we we had never had that discussion yeah he has been raving about these boxers they're for boys they're for young teens they're for men they're for grandpas anybody can wear them and

look good feel good and uh and you know most importantly be comfortable it's been a game changer uh for keeping keeping everything where it needs to be and feeling comfortable i use the five inch cotton brief but let me tell you i think next time i order a pair i might go full briefo mode that just the just the yeah well i i feel like you know like it's so pale up here i know so maybe i could go tan with them if i got like a shorter one i think that would be a fantastic call guys shop skims men's at skims.com please let them know that we sent you after you place your order select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows let's get back into the episode as you all know by now we've teamed up with betmgm this

season we'll be using betmgm lines to make all our picks and we'll have special offers for our listeners each week if you haven't signed up for betmgm yet use bonus code playdate and you will get up to a $1,500 first bet offer on your first wager with BetMGM. Willie, tell them how it works. First, download the BetMGM app and sign up using bonus code PLAYDATE. Then deposit at least $10 and place your first wager on any game. Then you'll receive up to $1,500 in bonus bets if your bet loses. Just make sure you use bonus code PLAYDATE when you sign up.

Don't forget, if you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code PLAYDATE and get your $1,500 first bet offer today. put it all on the mets put it all on the mets let's get back into the episode should we road map it up yep road road road road map road road road road map all right we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches and then we're gonna do this guy rocks and then we will do everyone's favorite segment teach me something and then we're gonna do compliments that don't exist followed by modern family plots that don't exist and then we'll wrap up with rusty's song of the day go follow rusty's songs of the day

on spotify can i open up about modern family please i felt like when i went to do like rick and morty plots which i already butchered i at least had like seen a few moments from the show modern family i was jumping in in the deep end with my ankles tied to my head i uh gave it my best effort okay but i don't know anything about that show google yes i was reading i was trying to use chat gpt which i never even i never used chat gpt but i was well for the not for my not for my plots to be clear to to understand the dynamics of the show for the for tv show plots you can say how is it how is a an episode of blank structured that's what i did yeah yeah but it was just like i was confused about like how everyone's related and they're just so modern

they are they're way too modern they are modern but at the end of the day it's family so i want a uh what's the opposite of modern retro i want outdated retro family retro retro family i remember i did theater as a kid and i wasn't what did you say i don't know i'm done i was in like uh i think like sixth grade and we wrote a sketch and i wrote myself as a gay couple like i wrote wrote it so like me and my buddy were a gay couple and i told my mom about it and she had like a field day with it and i was like what it's in modern family yeah and like she was like wow like i'm so surprised like how much that show is like normalized like that's awesome actually yeah did you ever have to do the exercise where you wore like a blank mask and you were like

discovering the world for the first time no apparently that was like a common thing in all intro theater classes and like great well i wasn't in intro i was in advanced i only took we didn't have theater in my high school really took theater class in college and yeah you seem like you would have really i would have loved it i would have loved it have done like high school theater yeah my my sister's really into it i love uh yeah but my high school didn't i went to the nerd high school isn't theater yeah you went to the jock high school specifically academic nerd they had no theater program they had no music program they had it was just they have sports yeah but the only one guess what ones we were good at calculus

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it was just i yeah we were it was we're bad damn it was lame it was lame in hindsight yeah the arts are an important part of education yeah you would have loved theater you can't forsake that just for like book stuff but that's kind of what they did but that is the cross i bear and i find a way to wake up every morning and i love every moment we spend together andrew you want to hear a dark theater story can i tell dark theater story there was a kid at my dad's high school that the final for theater was like you had to do like a one-man show and he held it he held like a mock funeral for himself he was like got apparently goth before that was even like a thing and uh everyone was like oh that was kind of weird and then he went out uh and to his car and set himself on fire

isn't that insane oh yeah that's awful oh pretty pretty pretty spooky stuff i think we've made we've made some leaps and bounds since i think the growing up back then would be fucking brutal yeah as someone who like didn't fit in yeah yeah should we hear a pitch yeah was that too dark that is like you know the internet as dangerous as it is also is like it provides community for people who that's why all these kids are so well dressed now is over covid they got to experiment with their with their fashion sense and now they're all all past all past venice high school getting out or whatever the one is in santa margaret all these kids come out and it is like a fashion show they dripped out they dripped out they dripped out for real for real yeah oh real

for real remember the pastel frat shorts they're like pink red green yes dude i used to wear every day to school i wear sperrys with nike elites yep khaki shorts and a polo yep it was fucking insane insane i was probably wearing this exact like literally this exact outfit from flip-flops to school i don't know if we were allowed to but i would probably wear crocs or burke smith or you could wear i think you could wear open-toed burks um but i would wear the i probably worn some variation of this outfit every day since i was in second grade speaking of young willie that picture on the best buddies yeah uh website pretty funny go check it out please that's good marketing for yeah but someone donate i got a notification someone at least one person

donated this morning let's go nice uh we'll put the qr code right here we uh would love if you guys went and donated to best buddies it's a fantastic cause and willie and i there was a high school girl that won it last year and i want to double her number this year we're gonna double and give it to the next person i want to take advantage of the fact that it is unfair that we are doing it against uh high school kids because we have an ability to make to raise way more money than them and i want to bury i want to i want to i want to make all of them uh not want to do it again yeah that the photo on there is from is me and my uncle that was when i got that was right when i got back from spain okay we had like a party to like welcome me back so i was very

ingrained ingrained in the culture yeah the haircut shocked you didn't have like a pop popped collar yeah it was uh those jeans it was funny my shirt so like my host mom in spain was very although all those like soccer like crazy like fades like were very in but my host mom was very like no like you're gonna have dignified haircuts in my family like so all the me and my host brothers all had to get like kind of normal haircuts but then i was like about to leave and had a few weeks left and like the barbers they're all are like way better at those i wasn't gonna come back to america and get one of those so i was like i said to my host mom i was like you're not gonna like it and i know this is gonna be a problem with all your other kids

because they're gonna be like oh you got it but i'm doing this before i leave so i just two weeks before i left i went or like a week before i left i went and got this like crazy haircut and she was kind of like what the hell and then andre who my older oldest host brother was like wow will got it like i get one now and i was like i'm sorry dude i'm just like i like i like dropped the bomb and then left and flew back to america there was one shop in portland called momentum that did haircuts like that and they gave me like a legit skin fade with like the amount of hair that i have on top now and i came back to school and thought it was awesome and then like christmas break two years ago one of my like best girlfriends from growing up was like uh yeah every time or

every time you did that everyone was like that looks so bad but no one no one told me yeah go check it out they hate us because they ain't us check it out on the best buddies website yeah please but specifically use our link only donate to will and rusty's yeah of course don't don't donate to anything else yeah uh what's up cody big z and chicken yo oh i'm cody nice uh what's the worst part about watching a tv show slash movie that's got a lot going on um you you go on your phone realize how long how much time you're gonna have to spend with the person that you decided to watch the movie with and now you're bored and you want to do something else you go on your phone you miss something important but you know

if you ask scott he's gonna be really mad because he hates when you go on your phone and he constantly tells you not to go on your phone but god you can't help it you need the stimulation i need just scratched that itch yeah close this is like the biggest source of tension in our relationship i'm like wait wait what did she say he's like god damn it uh forgetting what has happened and having to go google it to figure it out my pitch is an app slash extension that would run in the background of whatever device you're on and would be able to give you summaries of everything that has happened so far in whatever show slash movie you're watching it would offer you not only a summary of what has been going on

but also a diagram of sorts between all the characters that show you how they are connected through minor slash major plot points and such the app would be called narrator currently watching game of thrones and figured this would make it so much easier i'll love sludge fingus come on thank you sludge i'm in i like that a lot uh yeah i think that would be great for for also here's why another reason it would be great my new roommate will moved in as i've mentioned a few times and he we were like all right we're halfway through season three breaking bad like have you seen the show i was kind of hoping he had seen it and be like oh i'll do a rewatch he hasn't seen it but he was like that's fine i honestly don't know if i'm ever gonna watch

it so i'm fine to just pick up and then scott had to like run him through everything and it was like so confusing yeah so if like if we could be like share him where we're at a narrator and he can just kind of like catch up on his own time and then be able to follow along no all right can i give you a pitch yeah here's my pitch did i already pitch the shrimp guillotine no the shrimp guillotine it's a novelty item at a seafood restaurant so it's for removing the heads of the shrimps yeah because you have to do that to eat them right tails tails removing the tails the hard part on the end okay so then it's to remove the tails yeah it's a it makes it fun yeah right because it's like oh it's like i gotta remove the tails whatever shrimp guillotine makes

it it's a tiny little guillotine that comes out with your platter of shrimp and you go and you can eat it with your friends you can share a guillotine it's just a novelty thing like maybe out like a red lobster i love it yeah i've actually that's fantastic shrimp fun yeah yeah maybe you could do like you could like do a whole trial for the shrimp before and then bring it out like something like that yeah um all right i'm not super proud of this one because we've already been so dirty this episode oh no and i just never gonna beat the horny allegations i know i know and for the record i don't even really i don't even really watch dirty stuff anymore but i'm saying this would have come in handy a while ago what is the worst what's the

worst part about watching something naughty on the internet um you're worried you're gonna share it to like your instagram you're worried you're gonna see a guy you know in it and it's gonna change the way you look man wait dude i actually sidebar we my friend told me the other day that uh so there was a there was a girl at our college that got kicked out because she was uh doing only fans content like in her dorm oh and uh and our buddy told us that his friend i don't really know the kid and another kid that i don't really know the girl paid them like hundreds of dollars to be the like the actor holding the camera wow yeah well i got a funny one actually tyler falbo you know that guy used to work here works here still i guess i don't know uh he one time was watching

dirty videos online touching himself and he goes oh my fucking god that's my old place and my old couch oh my god yeah and he like screenshotted and sent it to his roommate and his roommate was like oh my god so it turns out like they whoever had rented either i think it was before they lived there or after had uh hopefully after done crazy things on the exact couch in the exact apartment oh my god all right so the worst part the worst part about watching well also the funniest part about that is having to send this and be like yeah you know how he found it so that's what we were talking about with this girl that got in trouble at my college is like the whatever yeah like administrator found it had to buy subscribe to her only fans that's

crazy uh the worst the worst part about it is uh no matter how much how much how many mental hoops you jump through you can't fully convince yourself that that you're the man in the video this will put plaster your face onto the man in it so you can pretend that you're the one having the the connection with the woman connection yes it's a porn but it has your face on it that would that would make me so so so unbelievably sad that it would drive me to do horrible things should we do an am i the asshole yeah all right what's up lewis clark and second you we are second you we are second you we are i guess i'm lewis clark no you're second julia second julia um i'm writing to you guys about a delicate situation

involving one of my good friends here's the story my friend started talking to a girl and he is very into her they went on a couple dates and seemed to be hitting off really well on their most recent date he gave her a good night kiss when dropping her off but since she has been but since then she has been acting really weird still being very responsive and interested over text but every time he tries to hang out she curves him or has other plans i just found out from a mutual friend that knows the girl and uh and the reason that she's not into him apparently is because he's a horrible kisser and it really turned her off i don't want to be the one to break the bad news but he's asking me for advice on what to do so am i the asshole if i just make up a reason to

stop pursuing her or should i just tell him the truth i feel like that would be earth-shattering news but also something important to know right all right a third there's a third option you're not considering you need to teach him how to kiss you need to get get him in get him a get him a trainer or maybe you do it yourself teach him the cupcake method teach him get him a doll to kiss or something you need to be in there similar to like a golf coach maybe take a bunch of videos of him and you making out and you critique how he's doing it i think yeah i think you're gonna have to make out with him no in all seriousness do you tell him do you tell him that you that's a crazy one because that's totally fixable it's not like he it's not like his like i thought it was gonna

be like his breath like reeked and she didn't want to you can totally here's what you do you get one of your girlfriends who's on board to uh find out what bar she's at you go once he's learned how to kiss you do like the big reveal at a bar big sloppy make out of him and this girl at the bar and she's like oh my god and that girl that that girl after like faints or something or is like yeah oh my god that was the best holy shit he's the best kisser in the world and then she wants to slice what about this you tell him you teach him how to kiss however you want to do it and then you have him do like okay fine okay fine jokes up i did the kissing prank on you oh yeah it's not bad oh that's really like what i was like was that kiss not horrible the other night i

can't believe you didn't say anything that's not bad is that insane i think that could work i do or you just or you just say you have to be better yeah or text her like hey listen i i know it wasn't my best i've been in the lab i've done some you know adjustments and i really think i've got this kiss honed in yeah yeah if you want to come take it for a spin girl come on over come on i got like my bike i just got the chain fixed i got new gears yeah come take a spin on my bicycle what makes you a bad kisser i don't when your mouth is too closed too closed yeah just oh i mean you can obviously go too far you can go too far in the other direction and be like too sloppy to a wide mouth but it's when people are like just open that mouth up open that mouth up boy actually i had a

girl that would bite my teeth that was weird what that was bad a girl would like bite my teeth yeah your teeth yeah yeah yeah like her i don't like teeth on teeth well yeah yeah yeah it's like he's probably he's either probably you could probably never be too soft i think he's probably way he's probably going way too hard and firm oh like it's hitting my neck you know it was really funny setting that up last night but around like 11 p.m when i was leaving it really wasn't funny Manny Mora's really creepy. What? That mannequin.

Yeah, just like sitting there on the couch. I was like, oh, this is like fun. And then when I was leaving that night, I was like, no, I'm pretty sure he's going to like turn his head at some point. Look at me. Shit. You know, they say light only strikes twice. But guess what? We're striking right now.

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And it is truly delicious. I'm a huge fan. And yeah, you got to try it. so drinklightstrike.com find it near you get one of these bring it to your next game day or just bring it golf course anything like that it's the perfect hard refresher for this kind of weather let's get back into the episode all right this guy rocks this guy Andrew pause this immediately and i mean it immediately all right this is a this is a commercial for a uh chinese place a chinese like buffet okay and i really liked it so let's see what they got hi welcome to china

one buffet oh hey steve hi emily i was just looking for katie oh katie left already she She took her food to go. She took her buffet to go? How did she do that? How do you take a buffet to go? They sell each item by the pound. Look at the awesome prices. Wow, I had no idea.

Now I can enjoy as many of the 120 separate entrees as I want, anywhere I want. Sir, do you need any help with that? No, I got it, thanks. China One Buffet, 3rd and Steep's. That's awesome. No, I got it, thanks. I like that a lot. I like that the stack was so high it went into the...

space yes in the sky right for the clouds yeah yeah was that a play on the fact that you can see the great wall of china from space probably probably yeah they slapped their awesome prices on me that's now that's alaska history yeah they said hashtag alaska history hashtag alaska i wonder if i wonder if that is an alaskan chinese restaurant could be i like that he like completely ignored the host in the beginning she's like hi welcome she just like turns away from her Hey, Katie. Hey, Katie. Yeah, I like that a lot.

Alaskan-Asian fusion. Okay, this is the guy I found on the line. you and andrew are silent in bed i'm or me and andrew are silent in bed willie's and his girls here like how does he even do that noise that has 872 this guy has like a million followers i don't like him at all what did he record that leo james dude Wow. I'm not Jesus, but it doesn't mean he doesn't live here.

Let's watch his newest one. I wonder if that's it. Seven minutes long. All right, all right. You can vote for that guy. That guy has probably done unspeakable things. No, he hasn't left this house. Ever.

uh when i was on tiktok in like 2018 before like anybody was on there every video looked like this oh really yes that was literally how everyone was like musically it was like it had just turned into tiktok got it but people would post like screen shares of videos like this to twitter and i was like i gotta get on this app and my entire for you page used to be like just this also shout out the shirt shout out the shirt homer ass it fits well goofy off shirt yeah homer uh homer producer uh producer i did not i don't care for him okay well i don't care for your chinese dad then you see how this my chinese dad your chinese dad you know what i'm gonna say it i don't care about your chinese dad um all right should we do teach me something dad born my dad was born in

portland maine nice uh have you ever heard of babu sunuar from nepal no tell me about babu sunuar and lakpa to sherry yes lakpa to sherry i know okay no i'm just kidding they were these guys from nepal and uh and they summited mount everest and then they paraglided off of mount everest in 2011 holy shit uh they this was part of their everest to see adventure which included flying kayak biking and kayaking from everest to the bay of bengal and they won the national geographic adventure uh adventurers of the year in 2012 for this feat they climbed to the top of mount everest and then they paraglided off of it that's insane isn't that banana lands yeah is that uh it's gotta be so cold yeah well so the so the reason i think i know what you're wondering are

you and rusty why didn't they hang glide off of it it is apparently because paragliding at that altitude is more successful and what is the difference it's a lighter thing too so i think it would have been easier to carry it to the top i don't know i don't know what the difference is but i know that for what they were trying to do paragliding was the correct way yeah because i was thinking why wouldn't they hang right yeah have you ever seen those like flying squirrel guys yeah where they like jump off a mountain and like i don't even know how do those guys land uh they have a parachute i believe oh i saw a guy they don't just like cruising i saw a guy uh like squirrel suit off of a um hot air balloon and there was a woman

hanging on to a rope that was attached to him and then she skydived off him what people are fucking insane people are people do you remember those people are awesome is there like is there like a side of that that's like depressing yeah yeah because i think they like you and i get very excited about pretty mundane things i think once you've reached the mountaintop their day-to-day is quite literally yeah i keep finding out more and more about this thing i'm doing in mexico in november and it is it sounds terrifying did i tell you the whole thing about like oh yeah you probably won't be able to sleep no for three days oh is this for work or is this no for pleasure i'm going to pleasure is a stretch yeah i think type two fun

yeah it's fun after the fact okay uh but it's a three i'm hiking the highest volcano in north america it's like the highest peak in mexico it's the third highest peak in north america wow the guy's hiking like you're gonna have to buy like everest level gear it looks like no it's actually a really uh like technically simple hike oh no i meant like aren't they wearing like full like snowsuits and shit no because it's summer or it's not he's doing akon kagawa which is in but what did he one that he did i thought you we pulled one up when like lauren was back here and it looked like mount everest i mean it does look insane but i think it's it's very it's mostly just like a hike it's just like the altitude and it's really long and

it's three days why aren't you gonna be able to sleep because this is what i just found out apparently at like high altitudes it's hard to sleep and so like a lot of people do this hike and like not sleep for three days oh i'm like what i didn't i didn't know that i mean i think it is there will be some gears i'm gonna have to get like crampons yeah but not like full blown that's gonna be my when i have grandchildren that'll be my crampon uh all right willie teach me something brother did you know okay i i i gotta i'm gonna need a fact check on this because i've been for my tf somethings lately i was like instead of just googling like biggest bird in the world what about like shit i just already kind of know about yeah and i think i believe it's the

pitcairn islands can you do that the pitcairn islands you know all about this because no no i don't know i know i know about them i don't know what you're gonna tell me but that they were they're largely it's like one of the smallest like island countries in the world in terms of like population there's like not that many people and a huge population of them is there was like a mutiny on on the ship uh i forget the name of the captain we can look it up but he they they did a mutiny and then they had the ship and then they're like if we go back to england then we're like traitors and they'll hang us so they just like pulled up yeah mutiny on the bounty uh yeah yeah yeah there it is okay i kind of nailed this so fletcher christian led a mutiny sees the

the ship from captain william bligh because of the mutiny they were like we can't take this anywhere and then the mutineers were like we can't take or fuck i'm sucking at this you're actually really not really no like it was like you were kind of like tracking that yeah you were killing it really yeah so then they got the boat and they're like well we can't go back to england because we just did a mutiny to like a member of the royal navy so they just went to this island and like started a new like island basically and so this island is like mostly like white dudes but it's in the middle of like but i i think like honestly at this point they might all be like burnt dead burnt yeah will you look they're just like normal people yeah oh where

did they get like some of these people look polynesian people no i think there were locals i meant like she's wearing a becks beer shirt like they they oh okay yeah yeah i can see how but i think the population i think it said the population is 47 people but for a long time all these people were just like living there because they had nowhere else they could go and they just had to become like island people whoa that's awesome it's like that village those villages in germany or in uh argentina that are just all german because it's all like these high-ranking nazis fled after world war ii started yeah the soccer the argentinian soccer team will always have like one just like white blonde guy yeah yeah when you said it was like all white people

just imagining like dudes and like button-ups and slacks ancient white people yeah but uh all right willie would you like to start with compliments that don't exist or modern family plots that don't exist you want to rip the band-aid off yeah let's rip the band-aid all right you start you tee it up so we can start with one that these are modern family plots that don't exist claire and phil's new friends are bragging about their adventurous sex life so claire and phil decide to try out a new position called the sailor's delight in the pool uh when stella the dog takes their clothes away from the edge of the pool they are stranded in the pool naked as the rest of the family comes home sooner than expected i like that thank you the dunfies am i

saying that right the dunfies take a family trip to sea world but on the car ride there they get a huge debate over the ethics of how they treat the animals there and once they're there alex takes a stand and won't go into the orca show while everyone else goes during the show the orca goes nuts and breaks the wall of the pool sending a flood which hits alex as he or she she as she is standing outside she argues that that proves her point but everyone else is just happy they aren't wet i like that a lot does that make any sense yeah yeah with like the people in the show was morty there no they time travel and they go say hi to morty yes okay i like it you're i think you're gonna like this one a lot really yeah i'm very this is this this is the one i'm

probably most proud of cam and mitch start taking a class on vietnamese culture so that they can answer questions lily has about her heritage alex who was just told by hayley that she needs to loosen up uh pranks cam and mitch that foe is actually or fa sorry uh alex who was just told by hayley that she needs to loosen up tells cam and mitch that fa is actually pronounced fuck they believe her and ask the vietnamese teacher where the best fuck is in town and they are quickly kicked out of the class i like that a lot i like that or what if the teacher's like oh 15th and abernathy that actually would have been the better that would have been the better ending if it was the they actually sent them to like a massage place that would yeah yeah

phil dunphy gets tickets to a dodgers game and he takes jay with him they're right behind home play and start to get in arguments about whether the pitches were balls or strikes things get so heated that the umpire turns around and ejects them for arguing balls and strikes which they thought could only happen to the players i like that a lot would they get in an argument yes yeah this feels like an ai robot trying to prove they're human they're like and then i would go to the park and then i right that's what i do that manny and luke get invited to a cool high school party and don't want to make a fool of themselves drinking for the first time so they take a bottle of jay's scotch up to manny's room for experimentation when they get sick they ask

hayley for advice on how to feel better and she pranks them by telling them milk sardines and running up and down the stairs will help jay returns to find the boys covered in milk and throw up and is only mad about the fact that the scotch they took was a thousand dollar bottle uh phil dumpy discovers a clue on the back of the declaration of independence that leads to a legendary hidden treasure protected by the founding fathers for centuries when the government refuses to help phil and his team decide to steal the declaration themselves to protect it from falling into the wrong hands chased by the fbi and rival treasure hunters phil races through historical landmarks to solve the chain of cryptic clues and unlock america's greatest secret new from

Espresso. Blend wellness into your coffee routine with the Coffee Plus range, infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like Coffee Plus B12 to help support immune function and Coffee Plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose Ginseng Delight, our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Espresso.com. yeah that's did i just nuke your draft that's classic phil no you didn't at all okay that was classic vintage phil dude that's phil for you gotta get your phil these are compliments that don't exist if you were any smarter you'd be eating cabbage you probably brush your teeth

like you're mad at them that makes more sense mine are just nonsensical i didn't realize the route you're gonna take this you've got the legs of a barber um your hair looks like it would smell good you'd be hard to find in a corn maze your ankles would look good poking out of a pair of nice slacks your jeans look like they know a thing or two your fingernails look like they'd hurt if they scratched me your family is so related you have my mother's eyes your body is a wonderland you look like you could change a tire real good your mommy obama all right those were our drafts and i think we knocked it out of the park once again i think we went back to back home runs was that a was that a good episode of podcasting andrew that was great yeah do you want to do

mailbag uh yes let's do mailbag and then oh yeah we gotta get these shirts from maizey she's she sent these while you were gone and was following up to make sure we got them and oh my god we got so many let's just fucking go crinkle mode mail bag three at a time mail bag making it rhyme mail bag three at a time mail bag making it rhyme all right i got a package from braden mcallister hell of a name strong name oh let's go oh dude whoa dude look at this what'd you get we both got custom uh ball markers with our names on and playdate golf club what the fuck that's so cool that is unreal dude thank you so much

playdate golf club wow that is fantastic that one is so nice i'm golfing today so i'll use this and then i wait i got a note from brayden oh andrew use a drawing of you in this no way hey shack and kobe just wanted to send a little appreciation gift as a thanks for making the work week significantly better if you are ever in oklahoma i will gladly host you all for a round of Golf Best Braden at Braden McAllister. P.S. A Friday episode

wouldn't hurt. We'll look into it. I don't know if I'll be back then. But if I am, I will hit you up. Dude, thank you so much.

What'd you get, Willie? Wow. This is from Maisie. She sent us shirts and I think a little tote bag

for each of us. Whoa. Even for Andrew as well. Whoa. Whoa. Oh, I can use a tote bag. Ropophobia is her company.

It means scared of clothes, I think. Oh, I like that. The yellow is leprophobia, fear of rabbits, and the gray is ophidophobia, the fear of snakes. Oh, for me, because I'm afraid of snakes. Snakes. Whoa, these are amazing. Very cool. dude whoa crap snakes thank you sir dude this is from maizey yeah thank you so much maizey

these are sick very cool wait this is so cool thank you so much i love these like uh the shirt itself is sick too very cool thank you so much wow that is so like christmas every day and then we got these ones do you andrew what one do you want yeah i'll take any of them yeah you can have let's go dude these are fantastic oh oh fuck maizey thank you so much cool yeah yeah and she um sorry if the shirts are a little big was counting on you guys growing into them wash cold dry low heat or hang dry nice that is so nice thank you thank you thank you Did you get the card, too? I did.

Thank you, Maisie. Thank you for you, Honk. Dude, thank you so much. Home of the Burger. Santa Monica High School. Oh, my God. Santa Monica High School Home of the Burger Freak Off. That's so sick.

Maisie, you are the goat. You are the goat. I'm going to commemorate that paper. This is the nicest. It's like the best mailbag we've had yet. What a beautiful little community. I like this one. This one is from Macy.

um she said hey there billy and crusty i don't have a pitch but instead wanted to raise the stakes for rusty's race to 10 000 saves okay both winners are getting an extra dollar for a total of a hundred let's go dollars let's go let's get rusty to 10 000 say come on you guys rock and i love the pod f the mets and go brewers let's go hell yes also i would like to say maizey is from haddonfield new jersey that's where my uncle sam lives nice it was right by the 7-eleven i think it's like wayne ave or like docks pj well hands right around this corner yeah exactly yes go go uh bulldogs haddonfield bulldogs nice um all right that was a beautiful episode we're gonna end with rusty songs song of the day uh i've been listening to this one a lot i don't know if it'll totally

fit the vibe of the rest of the place but it's kind of all over the place now so who cares mac demarco dropped new music and i think my favorite one is shining so okay go check it out um i'm a little confused because it seems like it's about what i gathered is it feels like it's about being with someone and still thinking about a past relationship but he's still with his girlfriend and that's impossible i know so i don't know but i may be reading into it too much all right we love you guys have a great rest of your monday have a great tuesday and we'll see you bright and early for our wednesday record peace Thanks for watching!