Will & Rusty's Playdate - the worst chipmunk to work with w/ David Cross

Episode Date: March 16, 2026

SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/@playdatepod?sub_confirmation=1  David Cross: https://www.instagram.com/davidcrossofficial  https://www.tiktok.com/@davidcrossofficial https://www.youtube.com/@officialdavidcross     MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/  PAID PARTNERSHIPS: [e-mail]  GUESTS AND INQUIRIES ONLY: [e-mail] Playdate: https://www.instagram.com/playdate.pod https://www.tiktok.com/@playdatepod Willy: https://www.instagram.com/willdonnellon https://www.tiktok.com/@willydonnellon Rusty: https://www.instagram.com/featherstonerusty https://www.tiktok.com/@rustyfeatherstone Andrew: https://www.instagram.com/andrew_nelson_ SUBMIT YOUR BUSINESS PITCH HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdPHd7Ps9TaX-TOozyLhDpr9Y7pFNMP9PX7cHuLxap1R78GWg/viewform?usp=header SUBMIT YOUR AITA STORY HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdQElfqdQutn3dzl5HcZfey6YWhbVd-n6XE7FkpfosWZyYhyA/viewform?usp=sf_link SUBMIT YOUR CONFESSIONS HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSedx06Mo5EBt7WJAehTXwRoF3JzP0T7-kiDvYOphgxaPvtzKQ/viewform?usp=publish-editor  SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: The Cavinder Twins are facing off in the Court of Legends game, and you can enter our Pick A Twin to Win Free to Play Game for a chance to win a share of $2,000,000 in Bonus Bets! How To Get This Offer In 3 Easy Steps: Opt in to the Pick A Twin To Win free-to-play game. Select which Cavinder Twin, Haley or Hanna, you think will win the Court of Legends one-on-one basketball game hosted at “The Bank” at Bellagio in Las Vegas, NV. If the twin you select wins the game, you’ll win a share of $2,000,000 in Bonus Bets. Our listeners get the Harry’s Plus Trial Set for only $10 at https://www.Harrys.com/PLAYDATE  #Harryspod The juiciest bet of the tournament is here. Voodoo Ranger G-Force, 11% ABV, ultra-juicy supercharged IPA. Buy it, upload your receipt at betoneleven.com, and you could win $11K if an 11 seed takes it. Go to betoneleven.com and bet on 11. Must be 21+ No purchase necessary. Full rules on betoneleven.com  Don’t sleep on @ultrapouches New customers get 15% Off with code PLAYDATE at takeultra.com! #UltraPouches #ad 00:00 - intro 3:33 - airport etiquette 12:20 - David Cross almost got me fired 26:37 - got hired a lot 43:30 - she’s the man 51:59 - the chipmunks 54:49 - arrested development  1:03:57 - sayings that don’t exist 1:09:27 - pitches #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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fixing my hair. I was fixing my hair. It's showbiz. You know all about this. It is showbiz. It is showbiz. Look, it's not called, you know, show charity. Exactly. That's right. Alright, we got David Cross today. Played it. David, thank you

so much for coming sure and uh we were just doing a little bit of a camera talk that for me was quite hard to follow but i'm excited to see the final product we found out you've been a big listener for a long time so we said right we got to get you on the show you got to get me on the show it's uh uh first time listener long time caller first time listener in person um yeah we because we we started working on this concept yesterday that was really hard for everyone to um verbalize like communicate how and i think everybody had it kind of the similar a similar idea in their head it involves trickery but um but not post trickery so you'd have to trickery camera within camera within camera what's happening inside these got it but not with any

cgi or post green screen or anything just doing it in the room as we're shooting and it was really difficult for everybody to communicate how that might work and p there was a lot of there was like a good 45 minutes of like oh okay wait i think i see what you're saying so we need to back up and have this and match we have to shoot it again so we match the thing and and uh we got the first tap done yeah and we gotta bring it but i thought and what i was describing was a possible fix uh it would take some of the fun away from the initial concept um but it is a is it's a potential fix that would allow you to justify the cuts i would say another important factor to describe the setting it was getting it felt like it was getting four degrees hotter every 10 minutes in

that room yesterday yeah because of all the flop sweat for whatever reason everyone's exuding wait what is flop yeah flop sweat is when you sweat and you're anxious because you're flopping oh so we wouldn't know it's a showbiz term yeah that would be a funny excuse for like one of the cameramen they're like they're like you know it gets harder when it gets hotter this is yeah it was getting cameras all out of whack it was a it was like mental gymnastic it like if michelle gandhi was there he'd go yeah do it like this you know you guys don't know michelle i was gonna i thought for a brief moment i go i know gandhi i have to rack my brain and figure out michelle he's an amazing director he did uh right uh god damn it eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

got it he did uh be kind rewind he did uh uh but i mean all these amazing videos there he is he did Willie famously has Seen I think five movies So that Is nothing against him He's a brilliant director I've seen five good movies Have you ever seen Rango?

I did not but it's the animated lizard It's really good Did you ever get to work with him? I did a couple times Should we watch all his movies? This is the portion where we start watching Here's a question for you we were talking about uh airplane etiquette briefly yesterday david and this is something

that comes up on this podcast a lot we get into a lot it's kind of the big crux i would consider that the foremost sort of uh topic thing we argue oh airplane yeah yeah so you argue over it so we have kind of different philosophies on how to travel how to be a good friend and how to kind of do them at the same time and there's one particular i wanted to get argument that we come back to pretty frequently okay if you're flying to get so we both live in la i want you to know before he tells this he's going to give an extremely he's going to try and lead you in a certain direction and i need you to stay strong because he's i'm gonna be impartial here he's he's tell it tell it matter-of-factly don't bring any emotion into it if two guys are on a flight back to la where

they both live okay one of them is very handsome new haircut no no so we're flying back together to la from somewhere where we had traveled together and we're landing in la we both live in different places in la one person is seated a little bit ahead of the other on the plane they get off the plane did they just leave there is an there is an important key detail you're leaving someone's got to pee someone may have to pee but also of these two gentlemen one of them prefers to walk to la exit or and the other prefers to get picked up by a friend not at la exit and the you know the like no i don't what's la exit it's like you have to walk like a mile to this uber pickup thing and it's a shuttle yes you can take the shuttle we prefer to walk when

we do it but so the question is do you wait outside the gate we don't live together we're getting picked up at two different places you uh one of the people's girlfriend is already outside do you wait at the gate for your friend and say goodbye there or do you walk just away all right here's what i would send them a text here's what i would do i would call an uber black uh it's not important i would uh you know prior to landing they go we've started our descent uh if you need to use the restroom do it now blah blah blah i would have gotten up and gone to the other person and said um kind of what you just described hey we're going two different places and uh either you know i know your girlfriend's waiting to pick you up or it's

my girlfriend's picked me up so uh i'll see you i'll see you at the office on monday all right man it was fun that's what i would do do you think if to communicate if you send a text that kind of you know communicates that message is that sufficient or does it have to be in person it i think it's it's okay it wouldn't make me upset if i receive that text but i think the more thoughtful thing to do is just to go, hey man, I'll see ya. Alright man, that was fun.

Give a little... What if the first class curtain is closed and you'll melt? Bum rush it. Nobody gives a shit. Fuck that curtain. I hate that fucking curtain. I agree. That curtain is such bullshit. He ducks the curtain

to use the first class bathroom. I'll do that too. it's 50 50 if i'm closer to that always do that always regardless of where i'm seated i have a lot of respect for people that push the curtain it's the it is the best way to get back at the man it's not even it just makes sense i'm not gonna yeah i'm closer if i know that it's empty yes you know and uh and i'll i don't i mean maybe and i fly a lot maybe two three times people have said oh the you got to use the restroom back there maybe no one has the balls to tell you to go back you see the human like a human like not a flight attendant do it no like somebody like

somebody seated they like link their arms together hey pal hey pal we didn't get back with a fucking riffraff someone said something about they were like the coach restroom is in the back i don't know if that was a flight that you were on that's southwest someone said someone did that to me as like a prank i think or something one time oh the yeah he got up to the front and the flight attendant was like the coach bathrooms in the back and i was like seriously she's like no you're fine oh oh yeah yeah but i was like i'd already made it all the way like to the bathroom at that point it's a good sense so she she's she's um you know she's in on it i think she was flirting with me honestly probably yeah yeah i think so is the vert the verdict is you don't have to wait out

there are a lot of people why would that be the verdict he said you should communicate you didn't even text me i know his girlfriend wasn't waiting he made that part up he called an uber black which comes right to the gate so you don't have to walk right to the gate that would be you go down we're like they bring the luggage up it's my uber is outside it's on the top so what so what happened now that there's so it's happened a couple times but there was one kind of main event that started this whole argument where there were like six of us on this flight we had spent a week together in like the middle of nowhere in the south it was a horrible week we'd already kind of said goodbye wait i'm sorry to digress why were you there we and where

were you i don't remember the detail are you just making this up i'm assuming we were probably there i think i'm trying to pad my travel a little bit sec schools a lot for like yeah live events and stuff that would be pretty you'd be you'd feel pretty not great on the flight home yeah right you know and it was a long trip and if i'm remembering correctly i was the first person to get off the plane and i was just like i'm done with this i went straight got my uber and got home and someone i think maybe willie texted in our group chat and was like insane move to leave without saying goodbye and i was like ever all the rest of us like waited for everyone to get off the plane and then we walked out together as like a crew i also i here's the thing also

it's not that big a deal okay all right then what we wouldn't have a show we wouldn't have a show you were scraping the barrel of the dances exactly identifying entertainment they were making it seem they were making it seem like it was like a commentary on my character as a person and not a one-off kind of thing they were saying it represents a larger issue where i need to communicate a little bit better what and does it did it i feel like i'm a good communicator and also i've been having a meltdown this week at different people around here about how communication is key this is also a year ago well it sounds like you're harboring a little bit of guilt for it and And especially because you're padding your experience by trying to make it like, see, this happened and my girlfriend was waiting.

But your girlfriend, unless your girlfriend is an Uber black driver. She drives an Uber X, but she is a black Uber driver. She's a black Uber XL driver. But people have started doing it now. Like on these trips now, it has become clear that you're allowed. Like no one waits anymore. You said a press release? So it's like, it's the breakdown of civil society.

That's what you're all talking about. I'm going to go that way. That you expedited. I think it's truly not that big a deal, but I also, and I wouldn't get fucking bent out of joint about it, but I, if it was me, I think I would have just gone, all right, guys, we'll see you. And nobody would have given a shit. They would have gone, all right, man.

Yeah. And nobody would have cared. And it wouldn't be, but then again, you'd have no programming. uh it's a good but yeah we we would be we would be story dry without yeah we would probably have this argument because we've traveled more certain parts of the year and when it comes up a few times a year yeah and i stand by it i think it's a good move i don't i think it's a weird ritual that we do where we all because we're all spread out there are some guys who are in the back of the plane man that people might agree with you on that and and then it's just like now it's to each his own

we don't have to go through this bullshit you know like you didn't wait for me and say goodbye you know uh and then you just move on and and uh if that's how that's the world you want to live in so be it is this what you thought this podcast was i was i just assumed yeah i mean i've never listened to it i don't know that's true yeah you almost got me fired yesterday what happened what happened yeah it was like whole thing what happened no it was a miscommunication edge texted we went he was like hey oh right the beers yeah yeah yeah yeah he's like hey can i can we go why don't we all go grab beers oh i was getting a little angry for yours on my behalf on your behalf yeah yeah wait david you asked to get beers or edge asked you no i i had said yeah

I, you know, I threatened them, basically, that we're all going to, after this, you know, the brainstorming and shooting and all that stuff, like, where do you guys go for beers? Oh, I guess I could get a beer. And I was very adamant, like, we're going to get beers. And, you know, slowly but also quickly, it was like, okay, well, I guess we'll go. And then we decided on a place. we went down there which is actually decent spot do you guys go big danes yeah surprisingly i like big for that spot like i mean i could big beer i did i could do without the brian adams blasting shit were they blasting they're blasting just whatever yeah but outside

of that yeah really nice spot for where it is you would never expect right on the beach right by the yeah it was great was the band ripping on the sidewalk like you know sometimes we get out of we had various uh entertainment yeah there was a guy who like looney tunes background music cool i like there was somebody yeah there was somebody on a was a trumpet no what did he have it was a maybe no it was shit what was it it it it was kind of like a a trumpety not a coronet but he had something that sounded uh and he was okay but he wasn't good right and it was like kind of jazzy like we were talking like oh shouldn't i should be i feel like i should be walking down broadway in 1944 in the rain with a cigarette you know it's like that kind of music and uh but then that was

uh coupled with whatever oasis brian adam whatever's uh cranking out there i was in the bar no no he's writing right down he was selling something and then he whipped out his uh his horn And then there was another guy who, you know, this may come as a surprise. I don't want to spoil anybody's, you know, experience if they're coming from out of town. But there's one or two homeless people there. And they brought all their friends, I guess, because there were like 14 of them. Wait, one or two homeless guys? And all their friends.

Their friends were not homeless No they were like You know dockers And button down shirts and stuff And they just all You know to make them feel better Got in the homeless garb Right

At one point I looked over and I'm pretty sure they were multiplying But the guy One of the guys It was one of the two guys Who were Playing red light green light They were playing red light green light it's the most fucking it was like mentally ill uh meth uh addict homeless beach guy

shit i've ever seen and i've seen a lot i've seen a lot i lived here for a while but these guys were there was like that crescent semicircle uh cement uh you know we're uh by the beach but right off the sand where people kind of cul-de-sac yeah and one guy was on one side of the the top part and the other guy was on the other side of his top part right and the guy they were doing like you could not believe this that's kind of the game of choice for it was kind of like they were actively tweaking out it was kind of whole like red light green light you know go back is it like one v one or was that like one guy calling it he would just send the guy back he wasn't competing against it was right or maybe he was but we couldn't see him and uh well they both probably

saw multiple people in their live vision but uh then that guy later uh had like a carry-on with the the you know telescoping they all have carry-ons now have you noticed that yeah well they're cracking down on checked bags same thing southwest it yeah the beaches you can only check one bag have you noticed this show this is like a within the last year thing they all have like away carry-on yeah why not and a personal item it's a much better it makes better than a shopping car yeah so this guy was like flipping it down right so it was hitting you know he was like throwing it down the handle carry-on you know his carry-on yeah and then that same guy would jump so that was part of the um cacophony that was happening outside but uh the that jumping head

right as we were about to leave um this guy and you know they have a they have like security who stand you know outside sits on a stool oh no the bar the bar and he you know he checks and gives you a little stamp which took a while to scrub off and uh uh this guy i guess the that somebody had turned their back and we watched him he just sort of jumped over the little barrier like on walked on some chairs on the table and then uh sat sat himself at a high top on a on a uh high stool with his back to him like just like he's nonchalant like huh and the guy just he just clearly has to do this multiple times a day with the same guy and he just gets up slowly oh god you know gets up walks over and is like and the guy you know yells for a second and then just

leaves goes right back to he was she was there the whole time just like 10 yards yeah why wouldn't he just enter the bar because they clearly they had an issue with them and i don't know what he was planning to do but the the what was funny and maybe this doesn't uh it doesn't work just describing it but his kind of you know putting his hand up on his you know leaning his hand against his uh head head his you know elbow on the table like he's thoughtfully thinking of something his back to the security guy like that was going to it's also funny because like hey is that the crazy homeless guy i keep having to deal no this guy's clearly thinking about it is funny in his mind in his mind the his back like him from the back looks like any other

like the front i'm homeless but from the back i could be any i could be anyone it was it was uh i just wonder what he was like i'm in you know i will say i've spent very little time with kind of that crowd but they they've never really seemed to me like they have a master plan like i don't think he had thought that far ahead it was kind of step ones get to the bar and we'll we'll kind of find the plan he wasn't even at the bar though because he he just went to the uh far corner like closer to the entrance but the first high top and then sat there you know hmm i wonder uh what the hypotenuse of you know whatever the guy walks over here's hypotenuse the guy maybe he was like do you remember that trick people would do where they'd go through the

mcdonald's drive-thru and just order a water and then it would scramble kind of the system and they'd get the food of the person who was behind them because they'd just go to the window maybe he thought like if i just sit down yeah i've never heard of that there's a chance that like they just bring me another person's beer yeah you know what i mean like they're like oh he moved tables yeah should have pulled up with a i like uh i like big deans because their beers are like 50 ounces so you can have two beers and it's like 10 yeah yeah it's it's a good bang for your buck sometimes it gets hot by the end of it though but you got to move quick the bartender gave us my friend got engaged and we met him at big dean's to the day after to kind of celebrate and the

bartender gave us three tequila shots and kind of had like a shit eating grin on his face you're like that's kind of odd and they were like like sometimes you get like a room temperature tequila shot it's an outdoor bar that happens this was like warmer than the air we were like did he like microwave them or like did he like heat them up like what what does he have to gain from this that's how they do it in mexico they do warm i while i was making a observation that's hot in mexico and they might get it is it does get hot yeah famously yeah so then edge texts me and is like oh shit i forgot where this started oh yeah 15 minutes ago kind of hijacked that i got a text from our boss saying did you skip a meeting to get beers was that the meeting you

were supposed to be yeah yeah but i hadn't but that meeting was at four and we were filming a sketch until like 4 30 right so i'd already missed the meeting yeah right and then i got beers it's like so the answer is no i didn't skip a meeting for to go get beers i skipped a meeting because i was in the middle of shooting something correct at the end of that which was also coincided with the end of the meeting i went to go get beers exactly with a legend of comedy exactly so much wisdom thank you in part who's going to be a guest on my dumb ass podcast tomorrow so it's a twofold it's the wisdom and it's the building the relationship so we have this insane chemistry today i'm not skipping a meeting clearly work and we have a story and we have a story

fucking bailed your ass out it's a right it's a right off 15 minutes of yeah yeah well i came back here and we got in a fight and who he was actually mad what's the guy's name alex edge alex edge oh i mean i think did i meet him yes yeah he's our he's a good man do you want me to talk to him no i don't i think i'll just show him this okay or he'll hear it yeah this is kind of a proof no it was not it was it you know it was there was like a whole big uh bonfire of stuff under the surface and that little thing was like lighting a little spark under it so we got we were in like a heated argument for like an hour but it was that was nothing that was so small potatoes by the end of it yeah it is funny because the rules kind of change day to day

like there are most days if you went out with someone who's visiting the office for a beer that would be completely kosher i know it's also the company is called friday beers yeah if you can't if you can't join david cross for a beer at big dean's and and i did i mean obviously you can say you know you don't have to you're big boys you don't have to bend to peer pressure but i was like you know somewhat you know uh you know uh comically but also there was uh there was a real serious undercurrent to it's like we're going out for beers guys yeah you're you know I twisted your arm as it were

you did physically a little too well that's just you leaned in my ear and he said do it pussy yeah and at the bar too

I kept doing it that's my thing and whatever now I know I've been crossed I've heard about it I got edge I got crossed

he pulled his famous move on me I wanted to ask you about she's the man because that is I was having dinner with my family last night and I told him

you were coming on that was like are you are you from here no my mom but my sister lives in silver lake okay and my mom is visiting oh cool where are you from originally maine oh all right yeah what about yourself uh atlanta i wouldn't have guessed that i don't know why i wouldn't have guessed that i'm from charleston originally actually so it's kind of i wouldn't guess that we're kind of like sister cities uh charleston well we i love it we go there for sports right Pretty obvious differences. Charleston is a great place to visit. I love doing shows there.

I love going down there. Not that the shows are great, but it's a cool city to hang out in. I just remembered, I think it was Charleston, I discovered this fucking great bar, dive bar. Which one? On a side street off of a main, whatever one of the main streets is. Burns Alley. Say it again?

Is it Burns Alley? Burns Alley is one of the main streets. uh and doesn't you know there's charleston doesn't seem to have a really big visible kind of punk uh yeah you know uh i will look at it on my phone recovery room no it wasn't the recovery room okay i will look it up and i'll tell you because it was it was great and i make notes every time i do a tour i'll make notes like don't stay here do stay here there's a great bar on this street whatever yeah um i'll look it up but it was uh um yeah it was there and um uh oh wait and charleston also has there's like a british uh i think that was charleston unfortunately a lot of when you're

touring it just all gets blurry like you don't know where the fuck you are but uh there was like a uh like an english style pub that was also really good that was two tours ago i'll look it I moved away when I was like 18, so I never went out. I don't want to waste your time or anything. I mean, you've seen what this podcast is. You're not wasting your time. Yeah, true, true. Well, to be fair, I was born in Atlanta, moved when I was a year old,

moved back, traveled every year, and then moved back when I was nine, and then was there until I was 19. Why were you traveling every year? My father got fired a lot. Sounds like you also got hired a lot, though. yeah that's good that's a good point that is a fantastic point yeah all that i think yeah my dad gets hired all the time he was uh he i mean it really fits this is he's he was like he's a piece of shit by the way but he was really affable and charming and not very bright like book smart

bright uh street smart yeah but uh and could you know make you like him and then uh you know clearly time after time after time and we moved every year i mean i was i was just talking about this somebody else i haven't i didn't go to the same school for a second year in a row until i was in sixth grade that was the first time we didn't yeah first time i knew people going i was always a new kid and you know um in and around the south and uh and then three places in connecticut and two places in new york and then moved back to georgia but i was in uh roswell which is was like a very rural suburb yeah and so i don't i there's not like you know atlanta like qualities to me you know it was uh um but you know atlanta is uh and most of my family's still there and i

go back four times a year probably you know especially now that i have a daughter and uh and it's like i could live in atlanta uh i could not live in charleston why is that it's just too small and too uh provincial and too it's just too uh it it i mean i love visiting there i do love uh going there for two three days whereas it whereas when i think about atlanta it's like i could live here if i had to yeah you know i don't want to but i could you know here's a question oh if i may please uh i'm curious like do you think like that experience of constantly having to move make new friends is that something that you think contributed to like your ability to connect with people nobody knows how many people i kill what

but like i'm sorry i shouldn't have cut you off but yeah make do you think that's like a reason that like you've been able to be successful and like connect with people on a larger scale is that like you had to constantly go through that cycle of like making friends and i do figuring out what people like and yeah it's uh it uh you know you learn pretty quickly also it was um it was what i knew too it wasn't like i was spent 12 years somewhere and then got uprooted and had to do that i i mean i'd been doing that my entire life and i understood it wasn't easy and it was always a little disappointing to go where are we going you know but i was used to it and you you know just you learn certain skills you know uh and that is definitely part of it and uh

and i as i said i i born atlanta moved to uh florida i was in jacksonville orlando and winter park it's i don't know at various college in winter park okay and uh various parts and then went to new york and then two places in connecticut new haven and hamden connecticut and then two more places in new york so really a running the gamut of cultures you know at least on the east coast but the i i the south is very different from the north as is the east to the west and all that but um but you yeah you you just learn how to communicate and but you know what the the big leveler is comedy you know if whether you're in you know uh rural south or you know northeast city you know or syracuse new york or whatever

funny is funny you know you have to like change your jokes based off of like region like you're like these kids like i didn't have a whole lot of jokes when i was you're not walking walking in with like cue cards or something changing your set we got a new student in here uh david cross is joining us all right how you doing folks uh where do i go right here okay uh this johnson's class how we feeling tonight that's fine yeah that's that is like how did he like uh how did your dad like broach the subject of like i might be getting fired again well he was one of those guys he's it's in part uh why from the very beginning i didn't like trump regardless of all the other shit because he shares the same trump and my dad have the same kind of qualities

of uh narcissism victimization nothing is ever his fault he was never he was one of those you can't fire me i quit guys always and like let them fire you we need severance one of these times but yeah but it was also like uh well no it doesn't work that way we fired you so you can't quit right but you can't you can't go back and you're fired yeah oh you can't fire me i quit no we just explained you can't you're not there's nothing to quit you're fired in there for like an hour he's not getting it we fired him 10 times i mean literally nothing was ever his fault he was always uh the victim and you know these you know whatever so and when you're a kid you believe it right you know and uh and they're believe me there's a lot of stuff i have two younger sisters

And one of them I'm very close with. And we have over the past, let's say, 20 plus years, you know, every once in a while, my sister will, you know, call me or I'll call her and go, hey, you know what I figured out? Remember that time by the mailbox hut when Rhonda Twervey knocked you off the big wheel and then picked up the big wheel and threw it at me and said, you little brats, no wonder your father left you. I figured out what was going on. We have those things where we think of these moments that happen and we're like, oh, now I get it. As an adult, you're like, you know what happened. And then we'll fill each other in on that stuff. Right. and again my dad was a piece of shit yeah that is that is probably so strange to like go back

and like rewrite history in your mind because he like well there were things yeah there were things that didn't make sense to us and when you're a kid you fill in the you fill in if what you can right and you're also going off of what adult you know authority figures are telling you and then as you get older you're like oh wait that didn't happen that makes no sense you know and you just because you know you're an adult and then um there have been yeah uh dozens of those things like statistically like every one of his nine bosses in a row can't be like in the wrong No. And I went and lived with him when I was 13, I want to say. Yeah, it was right after I was 13. So I think, I want to say ninth grade. I went to, he was living in a suburb of Phoenix, Arizona. And I'd never been west of Atlanta ever in my life. and he left when I was nine.

We moved back to Georgia and then we lived in a motel for about a month and then we got an apartment in Roswell and then we were evicted from that in about, I want to say four or five months, maybe six months. We got evicted and then we moved to this other apartment

and right after we moved to that other apartment uh he left and you know massive amounts of debt and my mom had no skills you know and she's got three kids and we're we had no money zip and uh i still was like dad you know and and then when i was uh and you know the fact that he left and uh just made me want to be with him even more, you know. And then I don't know how, he must have invited me, or maybe I was just like, I want to visit or something. And at some point he said, yeah, you can come out and live with me. And I was like, wow, great.

And it was really hard for my mom, my sisters, but I was like, I'm going to be with my dad and, oh boy. And, but I wasn't 10 years old anymore. Now I'm 13, and I went out there, and I saw firsthand, and I still had this, like, dad worship, and it all kind of quickly—it was a rough situation. It was ridiculous. And, again, no food. He had a friend named Taki who—his job was to stock, what do you call it, vending machines, right? And so he—I remember him getting some stuff from this guy Taki.

and we had you know the candy boston baked beans i don't think i've ever eaten that but i like i don't remember but they're like sugar-coated uh peanuts yeah that's it that's it that's it so we got it's candy so our for meals we had several meals we had that and he had some chocolate powder like you know chocolate milk stuff but we had no milk so it would be like water and i'm telling you oh my god and we were living we were living in a what had been a uh motel that had been subdivided uh like you know classic western motor in two two floors or like you know doors facing the highway yeah yeah yeah exactly and kind of like a teeny tiny little kidney-shaped pool that was empty you know you know what i mean and some faded shuffleboard thing and uh

and with the one bedroom so we both slept in the same bed but he you know i was 13 and skinny and he's he's like six two or something like that and a bigger guy so i would roll right into him and then eventually had to sleep on the couch uh but i was like dad i've got so many stories i even want to but it was it was uh eye-opening if if nothing else and that you know slowly but surely went away uh you know the and then as again as i got older like oh wow he's a piece of shit right and what kind of person just leaves their three kids and their family and he's just a selfish person you know and um and again he was a narcissist and uh uh you know nothing was ever his fault he'd never did anything wrong lying pathological liar uh how would he like explain

like that he was getting fired again like and like make it their fault uh i don't know i don't remember just it was all kind of you know it would be and my mom was was just very weak you know uh strong in so many ways to do to raise the three kids with no money with no funds with no she you know she didn't have access to anything and had to struggle uh systematically to get credit like she had to get a i think she got a sears card and then you know bought two things paid that off then got a uh gas station card or gas card which used to be a thing you know like sitco or whatever paid that off eventually was able to get a credit card but took a while and you know you got three kids who were like why can't i have the you know calico football thing i

want that you know how come all my pants have holes in them and you know all that kind of stuff and having to deal with that and uh and you know i i was miserable when i just had the shittiest middle part of my life beginning was okay and was you know the the later teen years were good but the middle part was just brutal awful and um i guess that is to say in when you're a kid it's just like that's it he got fired again but you don't think you don't process that stuff you're just like oh now we got to go to hamden connecticut oh now we got to go to orlando florida well now we got to go to syracuse new york well now we got to go to roswell georgia and you know so it is that's what it was where do you fall on your siblings like are you middle uh youngest oldest

oldest oldest you have two sisters younger sisters if you go back in earlier in the episode and rewind it you told me that you'll you'll see where he's very he's very close with the youngest is it no middle oh middle damn it yeah i don't know if i said though i don't know if i i was I must have blacked out for a second. I don't know if I made it. He was blacked out. Yeah, I think I blacked out for a second. The Cavender Twins are facing off in the Court of Legends game,

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just showed me that i would not that would be nothing to you nothing did you how was your experience filming that that was like that that that we were like 10 of your viewership we would watch that like i remember uh we shot it in vancouver remember that uh i remember you know having a good time i think uh not a bad time certainly it's not like the greatest memory but I remember the ones that were kind of bad experiences, and that wasn't one of them. I remember riffing a song or something, the... Welcome to...

Yeah, yeah. He was singing it. And I remember... Oh, I also remember having a very awkward... To me, it was awkward. I don't think it was awkward to them. conversation with amanda binds and her parents and i remember i think her dad was a dentist who lived in the valley or something that's where she was and he it was from him and her and her mom

and her and everybody was on set i know we were shooting at like a football field and we were over like in craft services and he made some really i don't remember what they were but some really inappropriate jokes banter with me uh that were like sexual in nature and it was when she was standing there and i really thought this is kind of fucked up yeah i isn't was her mom like her manager as well i don't know i don't know any of that stuff yeah uh i can tell you that it it was awkward and i do remember it was like just inappropriate right i that's not the kind of shit you say to the you know somebody you're working you're working with when your daughter's there and like it was just creepy creepy yeah that is so weird i saw her in west

hollywood uh last year i know she went and she told the same story about you yeah she went like uh she went off right yeah she had when i saw her i don't even really know who that is i'm gonna be amanda bonds she was she was she was a disney right nickelodeon nickelodeon so she got caught up in like the dan schneider kind of i didn't have cable but she got uh and she was you know lovely to work with and she was awesome and she was she was great and then she yeah look at that picture like kind of third to yeah left from the from the right side if you go into i mean she got really she has like a face tattoo now yeah like i saw her she had short hair and but she like that did you watch that nickelodeon doc that all those uh oh about the guy dan schneider yeah was that

like the head of nickelodeon yeah and he was well he was the he was the did the kids shows yeah he was a foot fetish guy yeah yeah which is so weak like the low the nickelodeon logo was a foot that said like nickelodeon on it and like looking back there were so many feet jokes in there and someone posted this video like when i was a kid i just thought everyone but me found feet funny and then now that we're adults realizing like no they were never really funny i don't think i ever i was gonna be like i was like i thought it was gonna be like a stretch to be loosely a foot there is a paint splatter one as well but he like the one i know is the point oh yeah that's what i'm thinking but he like scroll down a little bit uh no no uh yeah

like that one on the left so they like i think changed it to that maybe because people were like hot on his trail but he was google nickelodeon foot logo it's a good i mean it exists it exists and there's no reason it should be a foot he was a foot fetishist no no i mean outside of that oh yeah there's no reason for them to change a splat which which which you associate with the slime thing remember the slime right you've been slimed what you've been slimed no i didn't know if you'd ever partaken in some sort of no i certainly would but uh you would like you want to be never been asked i remember i remember that era when it first came out and they had the um what was it called it was uh you can't do that on television right yeah yeah and

then like you can't say that or something like yeah oh it was nickelodeon movies it looks like from 98 to 2000 he gave it a two-year run and i was like oh this is way too obvious yeah i need to dial it back oh my god but he like the sliming thing was always weird to me too because then apparently they don't tell you that it's like happening so these people like or just at an award show like covered in slime wait they definitely know oh they have to know

there were people bullshit I've heard that they don't know they don't know is that the whole don't they slime everyone no no you don't know when it's coming

no you like stand at a podium yeah if you watch clips you'll see like Katy Perry I've never watched slime she like opens the envelope and it's just like

it seems like a nightmare and then you're just yeah you're just covered in slime but and Dan Schneider you oh my god that one came

I forgot how hot that one came out like how does that not your eyes or like go up your nose and now you have like an amoeba i've never seen that it's he's a weird guy but he also was like enabling this i think his name was brian who was like abusing the kids like he was like not a good guy and he was in uh a sitcom about dan schneider yes dan schneider was in oh what was it called it was ahead of the class because i knew a woman who her dad had something to do with the show so i knew of dan schneider he was an actor in it yeah oh please tell me that's the same guy otherwise i'm

really besmirching that is him that is him yeah otherwise i'd be oh my god yeah so uh there you go hindsight's always 20-20 but I feel like if I was an adult I could take one look at that guy and go no thank you for my child no thank you for my child the haircut in the older photos is not doing him any

favors so what did he do uh like I know about the foot fetish and I know about there was a rumor that and this is just a rumor but they were saying him and amanda binds he may have been like there was some sort of

relationship there obviously not a relationship because she was like a child but there was like a rumor well he like maybe got him her like pregnant or something what no i don't believe that that was like the that was the story but like pete like drake bell you know we played in drake and josh he was saying that like he knew about the other guy like abusing him and did nothing and uh yeah so who so i'm sorry who there was like a guy on set that had some kind of like obscure role was it like a teacher uh because they that those are some strange oh they i don't want to they can graduate i don't want to be smirch everybody but i have been around a couple of those on set teachers that i get like i there's again i never witnessed anything

but just a bad vibe you know what i mean yeah and where your spidey sense goes up onset teacher meaning it's to fill their like academic yeah yeah and you really have to like educate them yes it is a it's been a requirement for decades and uh um i mean going way way way back but uh uh yeah you if you have any movie or tv show or anything that has kid actors they have they have to have so many hours of schooling and they'll have like you know one trailer that's you know the kids go off in between things and you have to accumulate hours and you have to you know do the schooling how has your experience been with like child actors are they is uh i mean alvin and theodore on those guys yeah the the i mean

really the biggest uh pain in the ass bad uh person thing to work with was uh simon you know alvin and uh what's the other one alvin Alvin, Theodore. Theodore. Both cool. Super cool. Really down to earth. And Simon was, yeah.

Went to his head. It's the height maybe, right? It's like a reverse Napoleon. Yeah. I don't know, but he was not, and had a foot fetish. And a paw fetish. A paw fetish. It's a sick, twisted guy.

I mean, most of the kids I've worked with, if not all of them, are fucking awesome. I mean, Michael Cera and Alia Shaka. they're geniuses they're fucking great and they were great to work with and continue to be you know um i think he michael sharon those like first three seasons of arrested like he is so good and like the casting of him is just he just nails that i can't yeah it's like one of the best yeah they're they're uh and ali i think is great yeah i mean they're they're they're both uh really really impressed with and as people too they're good yeah good people and uh trying to think other kids i work with but um yeah i've never had a bad never uh you know they're all i haven't had

they're all had a bad kid we got to some on our set the kids are always i mean they're and my wife was a child actor and her dad was a child actor no way yeah but only as a kid no no uh my wife is amber tamblyn so she was uh um i mean she still does it just not as much as she did but And she was on a soap opera at 11. Whoa. That's your wife. You can just pull it up in a second. Isn't this tech insane?

Have you ever seen that picture of Michael Cera when he gets recognized at a diner as a kid? No. Could you pull that up, Andrew? This is like the funniest picture of all time. Is it awkward? It was a stretch. He just clearly like they just ran up on it. Oh, yeah.

Oh, he's with Aubrey Blossom. Is that Aubrey Blossom? Yeah. Wait, but that's before. He had this one thing where he – I can't remember why he was with the Jersey Shore crew, but they, like, did his hair up like DJ Pauly D and be like – I don't know if he was just forced to be there or if he was just playing into it, but this – I don't think he'd do anything without –

He was forced to do that. Yeah, he wouldn't let himself be forced into it. I'm sure it was good for him. He has so much more hair than – Sorry, what were you going to say? No, I was going to – because I was thinking about Arrested Development, and I think that – I'm just curious if that, like – obviously, we all – I consumed that show, you know,

I was a child when it first aired, but I watched it all night. Looking back, I just think, like, the writing of that is, like, so clever and feels like a type of writing that, like, couldn't even exist now where, like, this joke would set up one episode and it would hit five episodes later. Like, would you agree? Like, does that – do you see that in the way things are written? uh uh there's there's uh not patient viewership you know and uh um and it's it there's something

that there's a bit of joy that's that would be missing from not having to wait and you know uh or or or meaning there's there's joy in having to wait and having that thing pay off where you go oh yeah you know and now you can just sort of watch everything all at once it's like an immediate gratification yeah that show it'll do something i'm like oh my god they thought of this seven yeah but if you watched if you watched uh like say you watch there's a thing that pays off in five episodes right or uh yeah and they're 22 minutes long and if you binge that then you're seeing the joke pay off in an hour and 10 minutes or whatever it is i ain't so good at math and uh as opposed to later going oh fuck you just don't have that same experience you're like oh yeah that

was the thing they yeah even if they remember when you went to get um put the pizza in the oven yeah they remember that episode from a little a couple minutes ago yeah that was so they paid that off were there ever any ones where the it was accidental we're like you know five episodes later when they're writing an episode they're like oh that was that was a perfect setup for this oh i have no idea i wasn't in the writer's room so i don't know yeah yeah i guess i because yeah there's what i think i've talked there's the one joke in that show that i've always been like there's no way they thought the one about the like sit well stand poor oh yeah yeah like these characters have been in the show for like a season i think at that point but there there was a

storyline that never got uh paid off or revealed some people caught it so there were there were a number of people uh and i gotta say back in the day when the show was airing and there were the um you know the threads about uh uh arrested development fans and theorizing things and i half of the jokes that i were privy to i caught were because of the threads and i did not catch them when i watched it oh like even yeah yeah that's funny many many many many that that you know people with sharper brains that were really focusing on things like hey and then remembering this thing episode three says this and then like so many of those i did not catch at all um but why did i bring this up there was uh oh yeah um so tobias it was meant to be revealed is

african-american and there are that's awesome there are handful of uh and some people caught this um uh clues and but it never got paid off and never got uh realized but that was going to be a reveal that's what were the clues yeah what do you remember uh there's something i want to say with it's in the with the character ice who was in i think season three bounty hunter guy yeah and there's a way that i refer to him like us i say something like people like us or something like that there were a couple there were like uh i know there are probably at least three okay um but i remember that one being the if i remember correctly the first time i was like huh you know and but they're they're a couple so he's he would be

he's aware that he's african-american like it's not like it comes back later right i think that again they didn't satisfy it they didn't uh uh we didn't get to that uh hey you never know um they took a break last time oh no i'm just kidding no no no no no no um and uh yeah it was something you you maybe it exists somewhere like mitch describing it or something because i know people some people sussed it out that's so interesting what was your favorite episode of arrested development i don't know i don't uh it's like choosing your kits the next one yeah the next one i what the first one uh i mean i loved all of it but the first one i remember watching going this is genius is one i don't i don't think i'm in it

but it was the uh i want to say peer pressure is the name of it and it's the one with the hot cops will and jason on a boat uh that i think that was it was like episode six or something like that but that was the one where i went holy shit this is next fucking level you know they're all great guys the big tournament is around the corner i've got an upset pick i've got one i've got it up tell me about i've got an upset pick this is the time to tell people and you know what it is what it's an 11 seed it's whoever the 11 seed is in the east region i i've decided people get too focused on who the teams are playing they should focus on the numbers and stuff before selections right so everyone loves the legendary 11 seed upset right

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you want to do some sayings that don't exist oh sure let's do it yeah you got some lined up you got any lined up or you mean just rip them all right these are more sayings that don't exist not locking the door and blaming the thief it's like if you give someone an opportunity to wrong you then it's not really you're not completely blameless like you need to set yourself up to be protected against someone wronging you yep can i jump in please remind me of something i don't know if this was local to georgia but did you have a psa where a bunch of kids are riding their bikes to a community pool and uh one of them andy doesn't lock his bike up did you have that at all is that just jordan it was it used to fucking crack me up

at how it was quick one uh uh you know it's like four five you know white boys about 10 years old you know bike to a uh pool and it's like um hey andy ain't they lock their bike up and he just puts it against the fence hey andy ain't you gonna lock your bike up he's like he says whatever no let's go swimming then they come out and it's like cuts to them later and he and he's like hey my bike's been stolen and they all ride away and say tough break andy should have locked her up i was like what a bunch of assholes is it like a is it like it was a psa for not uh and it might be just georgia might be just atlanta but tough break andy should have locked her up you know i was recently re-watching charlie brown in the um the thanksgiving one you've seen those yeah yeah

assuming they are pumpkin the great pumpkin right yeah i guess maybe no no that was halloween no you're right i think it was the great pumpkin though that i was watching or no it was yeah yeah they are so mean to charlie brown they're so mean and then at the end he like makes something cool and then they're all like yeah you're our friend you're our friend now charlie like the message of that is so morally holding the mirror up to society right yeah i know but like i thought like in my mind it was like a story but it's like they're just complete assholes until they think he's cool and then they accept him that feels like the the takeaway from that yeah you have to change yourself to fit in with others constantly be redeeming yourself to get your

friends to like yeah i guess you're right maybe there's a mirror all right you got a saying for uh well that turd won't float it it it's when it's when you it's when um it's when you have something that's uh seemingly uh bad nasty uh uh undesirable and instead of the one redeeming quality that you would think it might have it has no redeeming quality that's fantastic it just sinks to the bottom of the pool that's great uh you know a steamboat by its smokestacks that uh sometimes the most important part of something is actually not the flashy thing that you associate it with so like the engine is really where the stuff's happening on the boat but you look at the smokestacks and you're like oh it's a steamboat but that's just a vessel for

esteem you know what i mean i like it that's not doing the work uh the man who knows everything can learn nothing new so when you have a friend that is maybe a know-it-all kind of one isn't it oh is it i googled it to make sure it's like what to yeah all right it's if your friend is a know-it-all or someone's a know-it-all sometimes it's not worth trying to get them to see your point of view they're just gonna believe what they believe so you might as well just not waste your energy You could probably leave it at He's a know-it-all That's not the segment

We wouldn't have a job We would be out there on Venice Beach Playing Red Light Green Light No I think you're right I think it's what to give the man That's like Christmas advice Finding parking

In Pamplona You might figure it out but at a huge risk i like that i like that a lot uh what david give me one second uh i got navigating with a south pointing compass or maybe like he's navigating with a compass that points south there are some guys who just their their morals are are bad and they're always gonna be kind of having the wrong idea about something playing ping pong with a piss soaked paddle just really got carried away by the alliteration it's not good don't do it something you should not something you should avoid at all costs yeah okay um well that's like giving a horse a haircut

and uh just unnecessary yeah right can't flip the calendar and call it a day uh there's some things you just have to get through you can't just try to hit fast forward on everything in your life i like there's processes to things i like that one a lot oh i have one uh you can't Just fast forward everything. So, David, that feels a lot like mine. It will refer back to the calendar. But it felt like a total ripoff of mine. They go hand in hand.

No, no. They go foot in hand. I'm adding the one. That goes foot in hand. That's fantastic. We're punching up. Yeah. That's what they say in this industry.

It's a little trick I learned in the army. All right. Well, do we want to do one business pitch before we end it? Yeah. Okay. what is the hardest part about getting out of bed in the morning hardest part about this is a business pitch well this is the set like that yeah they like to oh okay ask a question to begin i would say the hardest part about getting out of the bed in the morning cozy too cozy in the bed

too cold outside that would be my guess coffee's not ready and i don't want to make it yeah coffee's in the kitchen uh knee joint pain that's right your bed is always the most comfortable right when you get up making it impossible for you to start your day not anymore introducing the get hard bed this bed starts off at maximum softness and comfort oh that's fucking genius i love it we got some genius listeners i love it gradually becomes harder throughout the night until it's Time to wake up to which point is as hard as a cinder block. You want to get out of bed. Exactly.

I think all the getting hardness needs to happen in like five minutes. It shouldn't be getting hard all night. I think it should just go 0% to 100% in like one instant. You're like, all right, all right, I'm getting up. That's like my girlfriend has a hatch alarm clock. Have you seen one of those? No. They slowly get brighter until it's like a fucking flashlight,

and it wakes you up kind of with that and then like a little bit of noise. and it doesn't work she sleeps through it so i think this if it just if it just got cinder block hard i remember uh i was upside i have a house in uh in the woods in upstate new york and uh and i was there we have a uh what do you call it the foam pad thing under the mattress topper mattress topper thing but it's made of the like you know tempur-pedic yeah that kind of thing the foam uh whatever and i was there i was by myself with my dog and uh and it was during the winter and it gets fucking cold up there and around 5 30 in the morning i like like wow what's going on i i i wake up and i'm like what's what the hell and it's fucking freezing and this thing

is basically frozen and my heat had gone off uh at some point during the night it might have been during a storm or something but that thing woke me up it woke me up like it worked rock hard yeah it's a great idea and uh probably saved my life so no maybe it gets hard and cold it's like it's like a double well yeah cold bed yeah but also what about something with having to pee because you do get out of bed when you're like i gotta bladder oh yeah right so it makes your yeah you wear you wear a belt you wear a belt that's that's slowly it's like pumps water in but then you just might piss the bed yeah that's you want to you want to be able to get up and go shit i gotta pee yeah maybe it's just a special pair of underwear it contracts yeah yeah yeah it simulates

the feeling i do like this idea though it's fantastic thank you you want in would you want you want to invest yeah i got 20 bucks perfect all right we're in i'm in for 20 20 i'll give you 20 bucks for 42 of your i i have not watched uh a ton of those um shows but i they seem like such bad deals to me and and i think the benefit though of going on the show makes it not like they're screwing them over but like the what if you go on the show and then they make the offer and you say, like, ah, I don't think that's a very good offer, then you still get the bonus and benefit.

A lot of people, they get so mad, though. Like, they'll call you out sometimes and be like, you weren't going to take any deal. I think they try to not air those as many. Then they should know they're dealing with a savvy business person. And then they want it. Yeah, now I'm in. That was a test.

Now I'm in. all right thank you so much david for coming on pleasure it's been great to have you and uh we'll be back soon yeah sure yeah yeah great next week well probably thursday perfect all right we'll see you with david again thursday thank you guys love you guys peace Where some see heroes and others see egos, Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes. A fad to some, the future of money to others. We see crypto's trillion dollar swings,

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