Will & Rusty's Playdate - The Year of 12 Kings with Strider Wilson

Episode Date: April 24, 2024

Will and Rusty welcome comedian and host of the History is Dank podcast Strider Wilson. The boys discuss a first date flop, the worst guys they’ve ever seen, and a playmate’s bizarre interaction with the season one winner of Survivor. Rusty also surprises Willy with a cameo from Turkish Quandale Dingle and the guys draft slang words & moments from history that don’t exist. FOLLOW STRIDER: https://www.instagram.com/stridershredsallday/ FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod HEAD TO http://www.drinktriple.com/playdate TO GET 10% OFF THE ORIGINAL HIGH SELTZER USING CODE: PLAYDATE. 0% HANGOVER, 100% SOCIAL. REFINE YOUR STYLE WITH @CUTSCLOTHING AND GET 20% OFF WITH CODE PLAYDATE AT cutsclothing.com/PLAYDATE #cutspartner THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY BETTERHELP. IF YOU’RE THINKING OF STARTING THERAPY, VISIT BETTERHELP.COM/PD FOR 10% OFF YOUR FIRST MONTH AND GET ON YOUR WAY TO BEING YOUR BEST SELF. VISIT WWW.MANSCAPED.COM/TCS TO LEARN HOW TO “CHECK YO’ SELF” FOR EARLY SIGNS OF CANCER. USE PROMO CODE “PLAYDATE” FOR 20% OFF + FREE SHIPPING AT WWW.MANSCAPED.COM (00:00) Intro (01:16) Meet our Guest (03:55) T-shirt Gun (08:05) Bar Shenanigans (12:57) The Tortured Poets Department (17:47) The Worst Guys Everer (29:31) Roadmap (30:12) Pitch Submissions (35:57) Pitches (42:34) GoPro on a Catfish (47:30) Alternate Movie Endings (53:18) F*ck Cheating (58:16) AITA (01:18:51) Teach Me Something! (01:31:06) Slang Words that Don’t Exist (01:40:44) Historical Moments that Don’t Exist (01:54:24) Whose Personality are you Stealing? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As always, Playdate is brought to you by our presenting sponsor, Triple, the original high seltzer. Redefining the party landscape. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Guys, it can be easy to ignore your social battery and spread yourself thin. BetterHelp will help you find your social sweet spot. Visit betterhelp.com slash pd today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash pd.

Let's get into the episode. Play date, episode 34. Back. Our Paul Pierce. No, you know what it is? It's our John Tate Porter episode. Okay, I can get behind that. Shaq.

Oh, Shaq's a good one. 34? Yeah. When did he wear 34? Shaq was always 34. No, he was 32. No, it's Magic. No, you're right, but on the Magic he was 32.

Well, now I'm getting confused. That is confusing. So Magic Johnson, famous Laker, number 32. Shaq who was drafted by the Magic went to the finals but then lost to Houston then got traded when the fucking owner of the Magic put out to the radio being like how much should we pay Shaq and Shaq's like

fuck you. Is that what happened? Yeah it was like insane. He's like don't take a vote on that so he deuces and then of course big men go to LA and then you can't wear 32 in LA No you can't. 34. Guys we have one of my favorite people in the world on. Strider Wilson baby

Let's go baby fired up to be here dude. Great i gotta say right now great energy guys right here some of the russies come on the pod willie i gotta get you on mine i'm coming on some of the best the best hang dude the easiest hang we've had some fun times fucking daytona yeah we did you we missed you in vegas we had a good time yeah uh quite did quite you guys went to vegas together yeah how was that it was fun it was good maddest we saw bruce dude yeah we saw bruce springsteen it was awesome you saw the boss yeah oh that was the weekend when uh was zach bryan playing as well no no no it was how many times have you seen

the boss this month it was twice in a week wait you saw him again yeah i went to i didn't even tell you this maybe four days later i went to zach bryan concert and he brought the boss out no and they performed together what did they play at the end they played a new song that they were going to release together called sandpaper and then they played revival which is zach bryan's oh dude oh yeah rising is bruce yeah that's fucking awesome i know it's crazy twice in a week i've never seen him before in my life did you like fix up another old motorcycle after that yeah i thought about it yeah you had a great quote about that we were like dude when you see bruce like it's a bunch of dudes there and like it's also dudes with their dads and then like the

bruce brinkstein experience to explain it to someone is like it's telling your dad you don't know how much you mean to me but like not saying it you know you don't know how much you mean to me man all right good or bad it was like five hours it was like two and a half hours so long unbelievable for a 74 year old man it's wildly impressive someone was telling me like every time you think he's done, he keeps going. I think he did two encores. I think there were two separate times he left the stage. For sure.

It was insane. People that have seen him before, they're like, Bruce ain't done yet. Yeah. He looks fantastic. He does look great. Yeah. He sounds pretty good, too.

I mean, there's definitely some strain there. You can tell he's getting up there, but it was great. Yeah. He played some good hits, too. Can you do me a favor and tell Strider a little bit about when you were at the baseball game and you kind of fumbled a situation? The Mets game?

Yeah. The one that I told on this podcast already? No, but the t-shirt gun. Oh, God. Because I got you something, but I need Strider to have context. I went down to... Oh, you got me a nut... Isn't there a...

You told me about something like a week ago. This must be... I honestly have so many irons in the fire right now that sometimes I... This guy books cameos anytime I tell him anything about my life. Sometimes... Sometimes... sometimes like i honestly forgot about this until i saw something like right before the podcast that reminded me but tell strata what happened i went contact i was down in i went to a padres game on

friday oh nice petco petco park my first time fun yeah it was a great time i was on a date believe it oh yeah what number to date uh one kind of dude a first date at a baseball game yeah nice yeah we met her and we met her in boss yeah i was going i met in boston and she was like hey i'm gonna be in san diego so i was like dude this is incredible yeah i was like followed up and connected yeah it's like let's go this is great we met on monday at the marathon and then i went down and on friday and we went to a padres game it's a great time love what i'm hearing and uh the t-shirt toss happened as they do yeah like in between innings or whatever between innings yeah they come out they're throwing t-shirts and these like little shitty foam baseballs which i was like

i don't really want that that much i want the shirt you know what i mean i didn't come here for that's for the kids i didn't come here for second place dumb idiot seven-year-old have fun with your phone ball yeah exactly yeah t-shirt there's they're kind of like pepper in my section because i'm right i'm like steve bartman territory if you can oh yeah that's like okay third baseline kind of right along the outfield wall yeah and you had your headphones on keeping your own stat not talking to your date keep it down is that a ball or a strike you made me miss it i can't tell if that was an error or not so what are you into you shut the fuck up shut the fuck up did it take a crow hop or not what

happened oh my god here's five bucks anyway t-shirt comes up and i make what what would have been like a wildly athletic like it would have gone three rows behind me i literally leaped like full jump obj reach behind hit it it hits my hand it bounces off of it goes over this way hit it with my other hand bounces off of it drops right behind my head and i turn around and the lady behind me is already fucking snagging it like oh she's already wearing it she's changed out of her dress she wouldn't have had a chance if i hadn't like you know i mean i did all the work yeah and like we made eye contact and i could see in her eyes she almost was like you should have it but i was like i don't want your fucking sympathy no exactly i touched both

hands they say if it hits one hand you should catch it yeah and it hit both so i don't have an excuse you should have brought it in it looks really embarrassing and then the girl called you what butterfingers no i think i made that up actually but i texted will and i was like did this affect the date and he goes yeah it's ruined she called me butterfingers but i think she was yeah but so lauren can you pull up slack but she did yeah i was a butterfingers i've been you know i i heard this story and i was like will you know will need some advice from like you know the riz king i don't know is that turkish this is turkish quandel dingles if you're not if you're not familiar i don't know who this is he's the most famous in my opinion member of the tiktok

riz party i love it and uh and basically i just i asked him i reached out we're good buddies So I reached out and yeah, I was like TQD. I need you to give my boy will some words of advice He's he's feeling a little bit down about his red. Have you seen this yet? No, I don't even know who this kid is either What's up, well, I heard you've been getting down on yourself for not being able to Riz up girls Listen, eventually everything will come into play your dream girl will come your family will come and you'll have the best time of your life Don't let this get you down and trust me. You'll find her one day. My family will come my son found love oh yeah i reached out we're kind of homies um we run in the same circle so i just you know i thought that could maybe book me another one too i honestly again i have so

many irons in the fire i kind of forget who i've booked and they kind of just come in dude it was nice of that guy who lives with his mom to give you that advice your family's gonna come your girl's gonna come this 15 year old on on the internet honestly dude when you said tiktok riz community it's kind of how i feel like old dudes when they heard jazz they're like no yeah it like rubbed me the wrong way but i have to respect it when will and i so where will met that girl in boston another hilarious thing happened so her friend was standing like right behind me i was fucked up and uh i turned around and i was like oh hello and it was super loud in the bar and she goes fuck you what and i was like what i thought that was like a super normal

interaction and she walks away and i'm like talking to the other people at the table i'm like that was not like that was a nice way to say hello right like i was trying to like i was almost inviting her into the she was like on the outskirts of the table i wanted her to join yeah and so i'm like trying to rack my brain i'm like i have to go over there and like ask her and so i went over and i was like uh i was like hey i have to know like what what did i do wrong why'd you say fuck you and she was like oh my god like what what like what are you talking about i was like i turned around i said hello and you told me to go fuck myself and she was like oh my god i thought you said weird move she thought i turned around it was just like weird move like standing behind me

she goes go fuck yourself and then walked away gosh yeah and then oh this was this was always really bad then he's talking to the same girl and apparently she said she worked in speech therapy and mentioned that she had grown up with a speech impediment she didn't mention that yet to me i don't think okay well i had none of this context i'm facing the other direction talking to someone else i just hear overhear him go oh my friend will has a speech impediment and tap me on the shoulder and so i you know that's all i heard i threw him an alley-oop yeah i turned around and i said what's he gonna say and the girl just stone face walked away yeah because apparently she grew up with a speech impediment which i wouldn't have done i shouldn't have done anyway yeah that was

my bad but it was a bad look it was a bad look he set me up can i try to set you up which is nice no he set me up for oh no but like i've like honestly it was it was like a perfect lob if she didn't if she didn't have a speech impediment growing up like i forgot about that i would have brought the house down oh my god i was it dude i was expecting you know like duane ray is like walking away with like his arms out like this i was expecting will to like between the legs dunk and they were gonna get like married yeah didn't work craziest thing happened to me yesterday i'm coming home from manhattan beach it's like beautiful day out just like having a great day and i'm pulling off the 405 and you know when you get used to like driving a certain route

and it's like it's like implied that you stop but like no one stops exactly you know what I mean the guy in front of me stops

and I'm like being a dumbass like looking at traffic and I just like rammed his car what you got a car thing he's gotten a car

I waited to tell you I wanted to tell you so bad yesterday but I was like I'm gonna save it for the pod and so we pull over dude we would've got you

something from the Riz community I get out of the car and he gets out like kind of fuming reason like like that's a reasonable response and then he goes oh no way rusty dude and i was like what's up and uh he was like yeah it's my girlfriend's car and like i barely like touched like there's no like dent it was just like a mark from my bumper on his on his car and then his

girlfriend gets out and is like way more stressed than he is like he was more just like kind of we were just like having a conversation and then uh and then we um exchange information i'm like have good day like nice to meet you he's like yeah dude like like great meeting you whatever and we go our separate ways and he texts me and i'm like yeah just uh you know like here's my information i text him a picture of the thing and and he goes yo i think we're gonna have to lie to the insurance company and i was like okay like why and he was like because like is my girlfriend's car and like um if and like i'm not insured to drive it so like we're both gonna have to pay out of pocket i was like in my i didn't want to be like the narc that's like i'm not

lying to the insurance company but i was like why don't you just go get an estimate and then like i'll probably just pay it like out of pocket because like i don't want my insurance to go but it was like i called my dad and he was like no do not lie to the insurance company like that's such a he's like there's nothing in it for you exactly yeah you're not the fact that he recognized me like i would have been if it was like a normal interaction where like i was never gonna this guy didn't know anything about me i would feel comfortable being like no i'm not lying to the insurance company but i didn't want him to be like yeah i bet rusty and he's a fucking narc He wouldn't lie to these kids.

He's online, dude. Rusty's a dork, dude. He doesn't cut corners. He won't lie to the insurance. I thought he was just going to keep texting you forever, being like, dude, we won't report this if you just get a beer with me. He looks hanging out, dude. He followed up, and he goes, let me pull it up.

He goes, I go, sounds good. Again, I'm really sorry about all this. And he goes, no worries, man. I've done the same shit more than once. I just loved the message. That's incredible. um strata we do wait i got one more thing oh yeah let's talk about okay okay uh i'm sure you've been listening to taylor swift album you know i haven't heard i've just heard it i've read reviews but

haven't listened okay so i'll have to be on tana's review i know he's he panned it yeah it's been getting panned they say it's too many songs it's fantana like the kind of like the governing body of he's i would say people look to him a lot but he also came out he he panned it within like an hour of it coming out which i feel like yeah you want to be first to market yeah but let's like take a deep breath here like sometimes you know you gotta listen more anyway exactly i think it's solid there's there's some songs i really like but can you pull up the lyrics to the song i hate it here i was that's the one i like yeah just pull this sounds like a song you well there's first of all there's a song about travis kelsey called the alchemy that and trust me i love to have as

much the next guy smallest man i ever lived you check that out that's a banger but the alchemy one is like the chorus is like touchdown to the amateurs i cut them from the team and it's like it's like you're gonna win the league and i'm your trophy it's really cringe but wait this where's the where's the chorus yeah wait i think it's oh yeah yeah yeah you know exactly you know exactly all right all right all right my friends used to play a game where we would pick a decade we wish we could live in instead of this i'd say the 1830s but without all the racists and getting married off for the highest bid like you know she wrote she wrote the first part of that and i was like wait somehow people are gonna think i'm racist because of this

is it 100 dude you're like you want to go back to the 1830s yeah which is weird in and of itself yeah such a not a fun era but also you wouldn't like like there are no pjs no also like i thought of pajamas like i get it like the but the being a tortured poet is like i feel like it's pretty hard to be a tortured poet in like a pj and like you're like well no she's kind of satirizing i think toward the idea of a tortured poet she's kind of making fun of maddie healy because he okay i like that um like the idea that they're tortured poets is like yeah this is the chorus of the song the tortured poets department is like kind of making fun of like maddie healy would try to describe them as like would you be would you feel weird if your like current

girlfriend was a artist and then like was trashing all of her past boyfriends in an album um yeah like if you're travis kelsey and then yeah well also because there's lyrics in this that are like you were the love of my life that's what i'm saying yeah that's what's the other guy that she was dating that maddie from the 1975 yeah yeah i mean if she's trashing him it's better it's better than being like there's this guy jehovah's witness suit which is kind of a diss yeah i mean that's pretty objective if you see the suits he wears i think he has a cool suit that chalk line like baggy suit uh he doesn't wear like baggy i just googled his i just googled his suit and it was like i looked at one picture okay it doesn't fit like a hugo boss it's not

it's not slim tight i used to work at norsham i'm not some guy like that baby did you yeah yeah one of my first jobs out of college stock room they got up to men's sportswear i was slinging tommy bahama like you know there we go here we go you know do we love look this album is probably not as good as past taylor albums that's fine yeah your art generally does go down like as any artist yeah like you know what i mean even the boss like you famously said you were joking like it was his new song like last man standing you're like everyone's going p man look it was bad like it was his newest single and everyone got up to go he's excited about it i'm coming back for fucking you know this podcast is brought to you by triple triple is the original high seltzer with

three milligrams of thc and just 15 to 20 calories triple offers a social buzz similar to that of your favorite hard seltzer light on calories high on life it's all natural gluten-free and again just 15 to 20 calories i had a buddy over and we were playing lego star wars the skywalker saga and we each drank three or four of these and it was the best saturday of my entire life um i beat most of naboo and i felt great while doing it i love triples i i swear to god you know i do be drinking them a lot and they're great so you're gonna love them you should drink triple three milligrams of thc 15 20 calories it's a nice easy little social buzz that you get and uh it'll make your saturday playing lego star wars 10 times better i guarantee it triple is born from

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Oh, can we show a few worst guys we've ever seen? Yeah. Let's do it. Dude, this is such a fun game. All right, ready? Watch this. This is like, so pause it quick, Lauren. oh oh all right all right all right just set the scene this is uh this guy's reading his vows

to his wife for context they've been dating like 10 years they already have two girls together like you can like and they're finally tying the knot right so you're like okay this is gonna be a sweet moment you know they're like these two star-crossed lovers uh you know are finally tying the knot their daughters are in attendance that's a beautiful thing right lauren let's uh give it a shot since the day we started talking after falling through my bedroom window within minutes i could tell you were the one for me then as time went on and i was falling deeper in love with you i was and always will be one of the easiest people to please only two things are required to keep me happy keep my belly full and my balls empty well you're amazing at half of it

we really need to get you some cooking lessons oh my god even though my belly isn't full there is no one i could ever love more in this lifetime unless i actually get a chance to meet margot robbie since the beginning i was always told i always told you i was going to make you the happiest woman in the world and give you everything i could possibly give well today i'm taking a step further and giving you my last name the last name of champions this guy sucks with you and the girls by my side i feel like i can conquer oh he said the ball's empty in front of his daughter life worth living giving every breath of every day a purpose life gets even better when the kids fall asleep and you tell me to come to the bedroom it looks like there's

wait just wait nothing's better than the sound of gagging and headboard slamming oh my god Wait, wait, pause it, Lauren. The woman officiating goes, Michael, when he says that, you think it can't get any worse? Who posted this? There's like nine-year-olds there. Just wait. It's like halfway through. You think it can't get any worse?

I already hate. No, dude. If you let it. Even if we fight, argue, or don't see eye to eye on something, it will never affect the way I love you. Marriage is something I take seriously and I only want to do once. after almost 10 years i still stand by the fact that you're my soulmate and it'll never change after today the only thing changing is me having to deal with the ring on my finger

you will forever have my heart and that's a promise till death do we part p.s since you're so good at making decisions like marrying me you can choose whether tonight's gonna end with being a toaster strudel or a twinkie oh my fucking god can you fucking imagine dude dude her parents and her and their daughters are in the crowd watching that and look she the thing is though she seems to love it there's a lid she hates it no she hates it she's like fighting through this those laughs it's terrible the guy's the worst it's the worst oh my god that's his mom

I didn't make it that far yeah this guy sucks dude there's no question that guy sucks he's the worst guy of all time he thinks he's so funny dude he was reading it like someone did they post that no no no someone else posted it did he yeah wait who's this

oh oh the videographer oh oh my god dude wait can we see her vows yeah yeah wait this might be her I am Johnny Armor, my best friend, my biggest pain in the ass. Our adventure started a little shy of ten years ago. And in that ten years, we have already accomplished so much together and created a beautiful life.

When I met you in school, I started crushing on you, but I didn't dare let it be known because I thought you were too good for me. So I let it go. If they say if you truly love someone or something, let it go. And if it comes back to you, then it was meant to be. Now here you are standing in front of me on our wedding day. I'm more than thankful for every day with you. You have completely stolen my heart, and I honestly never want you to give it back. You are one of the most selfless, funniest, caring people I have ever met,

not to mention very accident-prone. We've created two of the most beautiful girls in this world together. We bought our first house. We've made it through the rough times and the good times. And since I have you, I know we will always make it through. thank you for choosing me to create your life with i know i'm no model by far not oh this makes me so sad yeah all right and that's we all know like no more man yeah so like i'm getting sad i was hoping hers i was hoping hers would be like sing them there are only two things that you need

to keep me happy like and then it would be also be something crude like yeah she hers was so degrading herself yeah yeah she was like i'm not a model i can't cook yeah this guy oh man this sucks dude that fucking sucks that blow what are their attachment patterns are toxic dude i can't do it okay oh man they got to get out of there ap's does that does that matters last you think yeah probably yeah probably and you know you shouldn't um that guy sucks dude doesn't that bum you out a dude who thinks he's funny and right like that but sucks so hard worst guy to be around worst guy ever impossible all right wait no no he said he had a worst oh yeah you've a worst guy oh you know we don't need to bring him up or anything but you guys have probably

seen him but angus showed me this guy angus fucking this dude that like smiles and does giggly stuff on um instagram have you seen him no let me see let me okay let me get his name dude it's so so me now and angus sam barrett and myself all we do is send each other these cringe guys on instagram and it is literally oh here we go this fucking guy what's his name nathan baylet nathan n-a-t-h-a-n-b-a-y-l-e-t yeah this guy he's on instagram he might be oh he might be the worst dude this is like the most unsettling stuff definitely that guy yeah that's him oh wait pause it pause it pause it have you seen this guy so i posted a video of

this guy on my story and the his daughter swiped up on it and was like this is my dad look dude he's one of the things that with that guy in the wedding he's a piece of shit we love to let him go on his profile this guy is sorry what were you saying strider like oh he's something wrote passion pancakes yes yeah i love that book yeah so his videos honestly you click on any of them they're all kind of like they're all kind of the same they're uh yeah silly thoughts silly thoughts are my favorite silly thoughts go to go to silly thoughts get ready to be uncomfortable get ready to feel molested three silly thoughts if vowels and consonants got in a war with each other why would probably have to pick a side also i bet you know somebody who knows somebody

who knows a celebrity and also how far along in medical school do they teach how to ask a patient to say oh i don't like that at all exactly bro look at defensive you just got it was that yeah It was the exhale on that first one The giggle that he does Which you know is like a manufactured Affectation Which is the creepiest affectation If this guy showed up

Where did you find this shit I think I follow him The algorithm sends me I get sent these weird dudes Because I watch them so much Dude have you seen that Andy Elliot guy The guy that's the trainer I have sex with my wife every day

My favorite part about Andy Elliot is he wears a shirt with his name on it like it would be like a shirt if you were just walking around that said will on it i'd be kind of sick honestly i'd buy that wait lauren pull pull up andy elliott i think because this guy doesn't suck he's just weird andy elliott andy elliott sucks and yes yes that's correct look up like yeah they're so bad it's like it's literally it's it's if chester if chester's entrepreneur jokes were serious correct do uh wait let's find a good one do uh yeah do you'll never stop me i bet that one's probably yeah you'll never stop me it's great top yeah dude level up you know he's just a use it was eight minutes ago

i don't care eat shit man you think you're gonna bother me when you're a loser and you're not doing anything big nobody's fucking hating on you when you go up when you change lives when you're after helping other people they get pissed off guess what you're not getting hated on you're not even doing nothing right now that one didn't fully sum it up some of them yeah you should have sex every day every day is incredible this is so good dude we've had sex every night together for four years like dude we don't miss out on shit if you have sex every night the devil don't come in that bed when you're when you're married and have sex you're not mad at each other no more look at his wife you kill all resentment it's like god

is sex positive he's not negative the devil is negative because he wants you guys to not be loving not be close i didn't see that's the first time i've seen i have a christian angle too i haven't seen that yeah yeah um you get the gist right dude i mean here's the oh wait is these guys you can sign up for his program you can tell his audience this i've been saying that you can tell his audience is like 12 years old yeah when you're 12 you have no girlfriend or no wife you're like dude i'll have sex with my wife every day that's what it's gonna be then you become an adult and you're like no one wants to have sex with anyone every day ever there's just no way like i don't care how much you love each other it's higher love to be like hey not tonight like

let's just go to bed yeah yeah he's his wife is at home yeah dude there's yeah exactly i love my wife there's no way she wants to have sex with me every day dude that being that guy's wife and just being like the second he gets home he's gonna fucking bone me must suck so yeah do you imagine being his kid dude and having to go to baseball practice be like did you strike out today oh god what a disaster coming i really want it now i want to just get a skin tight shirt that just says rusty on it yeah it'd be really funny if we had this it'd be sick you should start selling them dude like andy that's the best part at the end of the day he's just slinging shit he sells these little nose strips he sells these seminars it's like i saw some guy and he was like

I used to work with him they worked at like a used they worked at a used car lot together and he was just like they were all apparently they were pushing

like really seedy practices yeah of course and he got like run out of wherever they like Mesa, Arizona or wherever he was

and had to go to Phoenix wow I didn't have to go that far no you're gonna be in that bad you're gonna say it's like a different state if he fucks up again

he'll be in Tucson before you know it all right should we should we get into the meat and potatoes oh yeah this is the this is a really this is our best best part of our let's go i was fired up when some of the some of the playmates really like we like to do a road map just so people know what they're getting ourselves that was all just the intro now we're road mapping that we're having fun um all right we have a great episode today we're gonna do uh some playmate pitches then we're gonna

pitch we're gonna do some am i the assholes lauren might even we might even get on the phone with one them strider love it uh we're gonna do everyone's favorite segment teach me something which you should be great at then we have slang words that don't exist and historical events that don't exist love it um should we hear some pitches guys some pit yeah what pitches pitches okay first pitch is from this is from vinny so we're like the sharks okay here we go he says i'll be simon Have you ever been in a conversation? Wait, time out. Yo, dog.

All right, yeah, I know what you're going to say. I know what you're going to say. I'll be Paula. I'll be Paula. All right, you're Randy. You're Simon. You'd be Simon. You're Mark McGrath on that one episode that he's...

Who's Mark McGrath? Oh, that's pretty sick. The guy from Sugar Ray? Yeah, he was a guest host for... All right, yeah, cool. I'll be Simon and Randy. You're both. Sorry.

Vinny says, have you ever been in a conversation with someone and their story sounds a little too rehearsed or the details just aren't adding up. Have you ever been worried you might be getting sucked into a pyramid scheme? Introducing the Community Notes glasses, CNG for short. Built into the frames of these glasses is a device that picks up

on audio, then inside the glasses via a Jarvis-like Iron Man display that only you can see, it pulls up any community notes that have been left about whatever the person is rambling on and on about. These community notes may add context missing from their side of the story, call out straight-up lies, or even

help identify when the pitch someone is giving you is designed to get you caught up in a pyramid scheme cult following etc no more getting swindled or caught up on the wrong side of an argument yeah like community notes like twitter yes it would be like this is false information yeah and then it'll say like what the yeah you can also have like a covid warning if the person has covid yeah it's like yeah yeah they stand a little too close to you look here's the thing you know this is a big security issue also i like the style i like it's fashionable people wear glasses that's always in um here's the thing where are they getting this data from how is jarvis what is being uploaded to jarvis who owns that information where's it coming from and i really want a piece

of that because data is more expensive than oil so while your product or should say more valuable so while your product is fun and on surface level could keep you from getting swindled i think you're missing the real market here so for that reason i'm out wow that was a really well thought out answer i'm actually i'm in your dog i i think i'm i'm in well except that um it's i just want to say dog it seems like this guy definitely got swindled right yeah he this guy 100% got furious he's selling protein like he kept mentioning the pyramid scheme thing like i don't think i've ever had someone pitch me one of those and not immediately been like that's he's writing exactly he's writing this pitch from his office that's filled with those like

door-to-door knives that people used to sell he's like drowning in world's finest chocolate somehow the last part lauren forgot to read was like and you send us money we'll send you 10 pairs of glasses then you can send to your friends 10 pairs of glasses to sell that's fantastic all right let's do the second one next one is from noah dorfsman he says yo what's up lauren and the boys i hope you're having a great day just thought of this pitch as i was walking back to my dorm but as or but i just passed this lady on my college campus wearing the most flattering perfume ever and i swear to god it made my heart race i'm pretty sure it was an aphrodisiac of some sort not sure about you guys but i've always been pretty into cologne and appreciate when a

lady wears a really good perfume so my pitch is kind of a two-parter but part one is to create a technology that stores the fragrance molecules in your smartphone not entirely sure how it would work but i know you guys are high level so i'm not really concerned about that right now to be honest the second part is to utilize that that technology with an app called scentify scent and identify that works like shazam but instead of searching for music you don't know it'd be it'd be for perfumes and colognes would love to hear what you all think i think we've already had this i don't know but i i don't think not for not for the cologne here's one thing that just came to mind there was a girl that sat next to me in uh in one of my classes i'm not gonna

say which and uh i was convinced that she was wearing like pheromones because it didn't smell necessarily like a perfume but it was like this super intriguing smell and i was like in love with this oh yeah no it's supposed to enhance your natural scent that's a thing it was wild like like she would sit she would sit down like i was in love with her and the guy on the other of the other side of her was also in love with her and we talked about it outside of class interesting that'd be that's good you didn't talk about it in class you're like over her shoulder like dude how great does she smell right now it's incredible i mean yeah pheromones are the most important thing i kind of don't like if someone has too much cologne or perfume yeah i don't wear

cologne you know and i honestly i'm wearing ladies perfume right now i always thought about that you know there was always a business pitch where it was like women like the scent of a perfume they choose right so you should put that on then they'll like your scent and if yeah vice versa right yeah something to that there's some some girl walks by you smelling like dior savage and you're like i don't know what that means it's like the it's like the it's like what like uh johnny depp is wearing in the desert dude yeah like a night like a nightclub like skeevy cologne got it yeah or axe body spray that was always like the thing dude you axe up yeah you guys ever axe bomb in middle school oh yeah is that where you just get someone no you would

kids would duct tape the top of an axe thing and throw it into the boys locker room you'd just be like walk into class then everyone you just get clout and you're like like max threw an axe bomb it wasn't my fault that's amazing dude yeah but this pitch it sounds um he's not hashed out he's relying on us to bring in other investors to develop this technology really what he has is just marketing we stay high level guys yeah we're very high level i'm very high level but i don't need to hire a marketer i can do that on my own i have that so for that reason i'm out respect respect all right should we pitch each other yeah yeah strata you want to start us off sure okay we live in a litigious society do we not you were recently i don't he doesn't know yeah i was about

to say i don't know okay that means you know that i didn't know what it meant people are people are suing each other all the time oh yeah okay yeah i have heard we now live in a day and age where you your dad's on the playground it used to be my dad could beat up your dad now it's my dad would sue your dad yep yeah it's the era that we live in yep so keeping that in mind and keeping in mind that you got a cya cover your ass okay i think and also we want to be cool and we're fucking cool dude so we've all heard of all state insurance yeah am i right what about all skate insurance this is insurance for dudes 30 plus who skate okay that's our entire demographic you fall down you break your wrist fucking ollieing or hitting a six stair outside of a library

you get a cast sent to you you get fucking tall boy batteries of bud light still sent to you and all that you need to pay us is nothing because where do you get hurt? You get hurt at public spaces like libraries, campuses, bank accounts. We have a team of lawyers who sue those public spaces and also we've got security guards on our payroll, okay? Every security guard who's going to try to stop you from skating,

they won't stop you if you flash that all skate card because they know you're covered and they're no longer liable. So we go after, we chase the big pockets. It's a little bit of a seedy operation, I'll admit that. And you just sign up? you just sign up but yeah you got to qualify you know we do you got to be 30 and you have to be able to ollie okay would you qualify no but i i wish i could ollie honestly the only payment i

do receive this is a great question willie is i get to hang out with dudes who skate okay that's my incentive is i get invited to your parties i get to post up i get to chill i get to we get to listen to i imagine reggae together yeah that's a good vibe so that's the pitch um what do you think sharks i'm so in i am so in i think it's i mean it's a it feels like a win for everyone involved the only people losing are the big corporations and the government and fuck them thank you exactly it's robin hood basically it's robin hood it's robin hood for the skating community yeah i love it i'm gonna preface this by saying like i'm completely in but because now i'm in i have to think about like people who would poke holes in this so i'm just gonna i'm

gonna poke a hole just please because any good investor would just because i want this to work out if it's like a public library right okay like they don't have a ton of the government they're owned by the is that who owns those it'd be the city government what do you think what do you think the word public i don't know it'd be the city okay or the county all right exactly it would be a local government that is a great question federal libraries there's an idea that's exactly right state library and you know it's zone it's like insurance depending where you live and where your liability is so if you live in a smaller city like you know ukaipa you ever heard of that no is that a real city real east on the on the 210 yeah it's like on your

way out to the coach in california it's in california yeah i'm probably saying it wrong i think it's named after a desert route not exactly sure but anyway they don't have the best city funding but say then you live in a big city like uh san francisco francisco yeah and you fall down at the public library in san francisco or dare i say at the fisherman's wharf yeah yeah you're gonna be making bank baby you're gonna be reeling in for all wait but you don't get the money all skate gets the money you just get the cast and the bud light correct and i get to hang out as the yeah and you get to hang out yeah that's awesome thank you that's great thank you very much when i was in when i was in college i uh i went to the skate shop and bought

a skateboard i was like convinced that i was gonna like this is like my new thing and i took it to the top of the parking garage and uh like quickly figured out how to do like a like a revert or whatever where you just like that was the only thing i could do and then i i was like this is pretty cool but like obviously everyone wants to ollie tried for like 45 minutes so fucking hard yeah too never skated it again i've never tried it was like a $200 escape i was stoked like the guy the guy was like i was like like help me through this process and it was like some like high 15 year old that worked at the thing and he was just grabbing like the coolest shit made me this like sick board and then uh i couldn't do anything on it i want to be so good

at it it would be the it's the coolest thing you could be good at and the fashion so cool i'm such a poser dude i was i was never good at skating yeah yeah you've kind of ingratiated yourself with that community without having the skill set per se yeah i don't i was okay when i was younger like love you that maybe you don't even take part in their activities yeah like i'm bad at surfing chad chad is actually legit at like chad's a good surfer yeah um skater yeah jt he's better than i am at surfing but like i can longboard but i'm not like a surfer like i'm not Yeah, but you've got a longboard vibe. Like, you on a shortboard, I'm not saying it wouldn't look cool,

but, like, you have a longboard vibe. Thank you. That is the vibe. I picture you, like, you know that scene in Surf's Up when Big Z gets shot out of the wave, and then he turns around and bows to it? Dude, exactly. Such a sick move.

Like, he's, like, he's so deep in the barrel, the whole beach is like, oh, my God, he's dead. And then at the last second, it spits him out, turns around, bows. That's awesome. It's a reverence for the ocean. yeah dude he like he and then tank evans comes in and just completely disrespects the ocean well i don't want to jeez i haven't tank evans is not a good guy tank evans is not that guy

when when you've never seen that no you've never seen surf's up it's just like a thing every episode you reference something i say i haven't seen it you need to see are you gonna go on a second date with that girl by the way that you went to the baseball i don't she lives in massachusetts but hopefully bro you watch surf's up through zoom together netflix party yeah netflix exactly you could do that it could be sick yeah we played fortnight give love a chance We played duos. Really? Did you actually?

Last week, yeah. How was that? We got third place. I kind of got caught off guard at the end, so that's kind of on me. But you got downed? Well, what happened is I have a Nintendo Switch now, and I grew up on the Xbox. You know that you were playing it on the Switch? Yeah, they switched the letters.

Were you guys on FaceTime? Just on a phone call while we were playing on Switches. But they switched the numbers a little bit. Yeah. You know, like A is where... So I got confused and I was trying to revive her and I just kept tossing her body. Oh, you weren't able to rev her?

I was trying to revive her and I was just tossing her body around and someone saw it and came up and shot us and it was a bad look. So it was kind of a user, yeah. I was tossing her body around. Yeah, exactly. Some old perverted guy, nice.

Like, no, it was actually in Wii. Switch Fortnite. Anyway, you got a good pitch for us? Yeah, okay, I had a blast last night. in bed i found i stumbled across a video of some guy strapped a gopro on a catfish just put it around what kind of mount does that require he just can you look it up gopro catfish it was so funny dude gopro catfish i can't imagine that they had like did he he had a uh yeah it was on tiktok but i guess it's probably i can't imagine that that's that's

a different instance he's probably got to be the only guy that did it let's see there's a lot of dudes out here doing yeah yeah that first one i think we stumbled upon like a pretty odd community yeah i like this way more than the original yeah look at this guy it's tough it was to figure out to the gopro so hopefully i don't lose it but if i do i guess i need it was to figure out like how many research purposes wait time out they're fishing and they want to know how many catfish there were wait time out how does he play because it's not still caught so he has to catch this specific catfish again no he has a fishing line attached to the gopro oh or actually it might even still be hooked into the fish no no it's coming out of

the gopro see there's a fishing line oh that's and then they just have another dude real quick yes it was like little right yeah that's a weird ass kid This is so fucking funny All the comments were like Imagine if this guy did this in any other body of water That wasn't so fucking murky Yeah it's the worst body of water And see that he has just the line just kind of running out

He's doing it next to like a toxic waste tank What factory is that coming from dude that's the simpsons homers like nuclear power yeah where the fish comes out like dirty eyes anyway so my idea is it's a company that just we breed uh or maybe we don't breed i don't know what the you know we basically we catch fish yep from all different types of fish from different bodies of water and stuff and put little cameras in their heads which i'm sure you could do yeah and then there's just like an app so like wherever you go you can just like tap into like a local fish and just see what they're seeing you know what i mean like if you're at the if you're like

at the beach and you're like i wonder like maybe you want to just make sure there's no sharks out there or maybe you just want to see if there's good fish to catch this is great that'd be cool this is like a periscope app for sharks for sharks or for fishing if you want to see like what's this what's this you're out on your boat looking very good find a you know good spot you could tune into a local fish and be like dude there's a there's a whole school over there i think i like that i You keep saying local fish. Yeah, local fish. Yeah, they're local.

There are local fish. It's just like, I mean, there's still... Migrating fish. You know, these are the fish that hang out. These are your garibaldis. Just post up at the same dock every day. Yeah, your grunions, dude. You know, hanging out at the bottom of your...

Okay, I love this. There's already a market for this. People love watching those eagles that are going to mate. People love April the Giraffe being born. People love seeing nature. People love watching animals fuck. I imagine it'd be nice to find out how, you know, some sort of grouper or a barracuda fucks.

That'd be nice. so i think perverts and i think people who are interested in nature it's a heavy market that you have there if you have to develop some technology however i think it already exists with the periscope app when you can go in and see what people are doing yeah we put the periscope app into these fish they then go around for that reason all we need to do is catch a couple of fish which we have the technology to do that definitely we've had that for a while for that reason i'm in yeah thank you thank you can i just say your analysis of like every situation is it's It's like watching Michelangelo paint or something.

Very kind. But here's the thing. I'm a capitalist, Rusty. Us scholars. I went to liberal arts school. We called him Michelangelo. Okay, sorry. Oh, yeah, Michel, yes.

Yeah. Yes, yes. All right, guys. Here's a question for you. What's the worst part about finishing a movie and wanting to watch it again? Rewinding it? Sorry, let me rephrase that. What's the worst part?

what's the worst part about watching a movie that you've already seen you know you know what's gonna you know how it ends yeah and and so like i was watching django the other day and i was watching unchained unchained yeah um can you imagine no i don't know um but basically like i was watching it and for some reason i had this feeling that it was like that they were gonna get out of uh don't spoil it out of candy you haven't seen it no oh here's the thing though it's been how many Yeah, the Statue of Limitations is off. I was going to say, Statue of Limitations. Fine.

Basically, they go to, like, purchase his wife back from Leo. And I'm watching it, and I'm like, I've seen it, like, ten times. And in my head, I'm like, I think they're going to pull it off this time. Yeah. But I know that it's not. And now I was like, I don't even want to finish the movie. And I stopped it there. And I was thinking, there should be a service where they film, like, five endings to a movie.

And it's just random every time. So when you watch it, you don't know how it's going to end. I like that. That's cool. Yeah, you can call it third act. So, you know, that's all you need to change. Acts one and two are the same. You come in, third act, let's go.

Yeah. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if Disney starts doing stuff like that. There was that Netflix thing where it was like you can watch in any order. Choose your own adventure. I can see that happening. Honestly, dude, we should shoot a new ending to a movie. Like, you know how you suite a movie? You know, like, suiting?

No. Have you ever seen that movie, the Jack Black movie that was famous? It was... School of Rock. that's a great movie Kung Fu Panda that's a great movie Minecraft movie

Kung Fu Panda did you ever say Kung Fu Panda yeah I said that also High Fidelity you ever see that that was his breakout role no

wait what was it fuck it was called Be Kind Rewind so that was it was about Blockbuster it was about Blockbuster and VHS and you would have to

and what they would say is when you would rent a video from like a family video store it would say Be Kind Rewind so that when a person rents a movie you don't put the thing in

and it's done and you maybe see the ending and you go fuck now I have to rewind it this is not a problem anymore in the digital age but all you do is you develop you and they would swede movies and change and do like oh people would return movies with other shit on them yeah that's hysterical yeah and so now and you could like tape over it and put your own stuff on there so we could do that we could be a service we could be grassroots and make our own ending

i like that yeah it just cuts to us like yeah did anyone do anything like messed up with sweding like was there dongs i'm sure they did bad stuff i'm sure look let's be honest people have probably done yeah there's probably there's probably bad stuff yeah you want to know a famous story in my house always can i share this sorry to be in the wilson household my quick answer is i'm in i'm in uh we had uh nhl's greatest hits 1995 i'm pretty sure who was on the cover come on that's like peak was lt greatest hits like sorry not nhl nfl's greatest hits okay um with um lt on the lawrence taylor on the cover yeah and but in that vhs in our vhs cabinet was a porno so me and my brothers on in the middle of the nfl thing oh yeah you didn't know and we knew

my mom's not going to look there she's the only one who's going to bust us who found who put it there one of my older brothers don't know one of the saints we never talked about it that's the thing until way later so and we always know that you knew no because i would always rewind it to wherever i picked it up because i was like that's what i would just make me think of it so i would watch the porno and then rewind it to exactly the scene that it was at so whoever was watching it Before me, we'd go, oh, yeah, that's where I left off. No one knows that this is what it is. And I'd put it in the same spot in the cabinet.

Wait, how did you do that? How did you tape stuff over things? You'd have to have a device. I didn't know how to do it, but yeah. You would put two in and then put one on the other kind of thing? Yeah. And my dad had all that stuff. My dad probably was the one who made the video, let's be honest.

Yeah. Let's be honest. I was a freak. Can you give us a semi-family friendly, like, what was the plot? One of the scenes was a compilation of different scenes. lt drilling my mom yeah dude it was uh it was a wedding it was like a bride gets boned on her wedding day by different dudes oh that bums me out yeah and this is what i was exposed to at an earlier wait i feel like that would i feel like that would i mean she was into it

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it's designed to be convenient flexible and suited to your schedule you just fill out a brief questionnaire and then they match you with a licensed therapist uh you can switch anytime you want for no additional charge obviously therapy has been something that's meant a lot to my life and i can't recommend it enough and better help is great and makes it really accessible find your social sweet spot with better help you visit betterhelp.com slash pd to get 10 off your first month that's better help h-e-l-p.com slash pd let's get back into our freaking awesome episode wait i wanted to tell strider this that that porn reminded me of this story like uh cheating always bums me out yeah this one this one made me so sad and skylar was telling me it like it was a

cool story it was like um in like anthony bourdain's like biography or whatever he was telling the story about like the moment he knew he wanted to be a chef he was like at this restaurant and this bride and groom came into the restaurant like right after their wedding and we're like in the kitchen talking with people and then bourdain like goes out to smoke a cigarette in the alley and the uh head chef was banging the uh bride in her dress like over a trash can and he was like that's pretty cool but i thought that was like a huge bummer i would be i want nothing to do with this like why was he wearing her dress no she she was wearing her dress what kind of weird shit is that guy

he's a weird chef did he only made pineapple upside down yeah that's a bummer that is a bummer like okay it's cool oh he's a rock star dude even a woman who's in love's gonna have sex with a guy because his food's so good like i see that like the egotistical part of that but yeah no it's a bummer he probably made some killer like queso or something yeah something like that yeah i wonder what was the dish that that put her over the edge something like you ever get the queso where it's got the chorizo in it it's so good dude what is the aphrodisiacs probably some sushi after oh yeah oysters oysters yep that's what they say they get you hard people say you know what else rabbit people say rabbits in aphrodisia

really and i think venison i've had venison i've had it once in my did it get bricked up my teacher gave it to me in eighth grade it's the only time i've had venison yeah come to think of it it was like 8 p.m exactly it was just us the first time i had venison was accidental went to my wife's family visitor them for the first time her mom had this big ass dank ass new year's um day meal and part of it was seafood it was like king crab legs yeah i'm a steak and potatoes guy you don't eat seafood i don't love it i do like sushi but i'm like it's not if i have my druthers i'm not picking seafood to go for dinner classic italian let's pick and parm you know something down the middle yeah but uh i have to eat it she made it and like this is my first impression so

i'm hammering down a fucking king crab leg don't love it and then i thought steak was on the table like why are these dumb idiots not eating the steak let me get that fucking put a bunch of it on my plate because i was hungry bite into it and you know like the game yeah it's gamey bro and then her dad respected it though dad was like nice yeah and he even goes to it like the because he hunted i think he got that deer caught it or killed that deer he put a gopro on that deer and fucking found it found his family slit the baby's throat he's like that's baby deer dude we can do it for mammals too we should oh 100 for mammals oh there's there's room for expansion another the reason why i'm in and birds oh birds oh yeah big time oh baby so much room for anyway sorry i

digress anyway benefits medicines but i had uh my uncle sandy gave me moose burgers one time whoa when he got like the in maine it's like you know there's like a lottery and if you win the lottery you can kill one moose that year really yeah damn you got a they had a they had a cabin in a place called aziska hoss that sounds great and it was like so so deep in there such a good time and and we showed up they had like moose burgers they had all sorts of stuff i've never i've always like thought it was really cool when guys can like skin an animal i can't do it like i remember we were at a like that shit we were there we had this guy dennis and he sold us our dog and uh and but he also had like 250 acres of land and he sold us cali he was a he bred i'm just

saying he also sold meat all right dude no no that's not that's not what he did but he he he bred llewellyn setters we bought one of them and then we were like this is a pretty cool spot you have what he did was he would raise pheasants and then he would let him go on his land so you could bring your buddies who don't have their gun license and they could hunt because it's private land nice and uh and i remember we walked up we like showed up like in the middle of him skinning a deer one time wow and my dad was like having a conversation with him like there wasn't like a half skinned deer like hanging from the ceiling yeah and i was just like this is the most foul thing you drain it first so bad yeah my wife would talk the most foul thing ever was

probably the pheasants right foul oh let's go wait i don't get it i don't get it bird pun foul i don't know what that means foul f-a-w-l what does it mean now i think it's like a term for birds i don't know like f-o-w-l like poultry maybe when they're dead f-o-w-l a little grumbly tummy yeah oh um all right should we do some am i the assholes yeah it's a game bird game bird so it's perfect it's perfect it was literally a perfect pun yeah it was i i feel bad that i miss it i know very nice but people yeah people hate my wordplay but i love it i love it all right strider if you're not familiar basically oh the playmates write in and they tell us like something that happened to them and we have we're kind of the judge and the jury okay perhaps even the

executioner oh we each take one role i'll be the judge you're the jury striders i was feeling being an executioner today um and they write us in and we tell them whether or not they're the asshole i think sometimes we might even call this guy sometimes we call him possibly i don't know if we should um let's hear the story okay yeah well this first guy he said he was happy to answer a call but he is now on the way to marriage counseling so he cannot that's good good for him for getting counseling respect yeah um okay but this is his situation i like that they're married playmates for some reason i didn't think about that i know we got married let's go baby do you listen i'm a playmate i'm just joking i did listen to these before i came on i actually do

some research yeah let's go let's go and i'll watch the clips i love them okay um clips fake name let's say adam all right so am i the asshole best friend from college ghosted me after i tried to help him get a better job this guy works a dead-end job and i always complain or no and he always complained about it i tried very hard to get him to consider doing what i do which is a lot more money he seemed interested and then never did anything about it i called him one time hammered and asked him what it would take for him to do it told him i'd show him my pay stubs swung my dick around i guess haven't heard from him since this was over a year ago here's what happened he watched that scene in wolf of wall street where where he jordan shows

him shows donnie the pay stubs yeah like what's it gonna take for you to come work for me yeah exactly um yeah i think like you you don't flex on your friend if if he wants to uh come work your sounds like he has a pretty cool job but if he wants to come work your job then like that that's kind of on him feels like this guy has like a drop shipping empire yes something yeah and it sounds like he doesn't come to my line of work with like no bar for entry feels a little sus yeah exactly i mean it's his boy too maybe he wants to hook him up with a gig but it can be annoying it can be overbearing yeah come on come on and maybe this other guy i don't know he doesn't want to work or he wants no stress maybe his job comes with stress yeah pays well

i don't know maybe he's living like a nomadic lifestyle i think especially if you're drunk too yeah if your rich friend calls you and drunk and is like you do in his own words swinging his dick around and being like i'll show you how much money i make maybe maybe you could have had i i would say i don't know if you're the asshole but i think you could have handled it better perhaps sounds like your heart was in the right place but you went about it the wrong way yeah yep sounds like you know when so his friend isn't talking to him anymore he said he ghosted him and they were like best friends in college no they're just not but later on i mean because i go can we call you he said funny enough i'm heading to marriage counseling fyi i'm definitely the asshole so like

i think you're aware but okay good we like a self-aware king i like yeah i like that yeah yeah so he's gonna live we should we'll not be executed dial us into marriage counseling yeah they zoom us in I'd like a word she's like he's always listening to that damn podcast redirect

that's a podcast called redirect and we just come in and fucking hop in on three podcasters just talk about what's going on

in your really personal life should we hear another one yeah okay this girl said that we could call her but

she also kind of sent a long one unless we want to do we want to listen to those voice memos from that guy do we call this girl

with no context yeah let's just call this girl okay is it interesting did you read it um yeah it's i mean i think the other guy so the other dude some some people will just send things in that aren't really like am i the asshole situations and they just want to tell their story a lot of times it's like a cool thing i think i think this other guy this irish guy like has a funny story if we want to just like call what's the one about wasn't there something like a survivor winner that you said we're gonna call yes that's what

i'm talking about do you want me to call him he's he's a survivor he won survivor no he has a funny story what time is it in ireland i don't know but he said he said do you want me to play the voice memos or just call him let's try calling him first we tell him we didn't listen to the voice probably top of the morning this is his this is his first message let's do it let's do it let's do a tandem high five so you give my high five to there you go so this is he just said i have a fantastic story to share with ye about how we met this is literally yeah give him a ring about how we met the winner of series one of survivor his beef with our landlord and chrissy tegan Courtroom. Richard Hatch.

That sounds like a loaded story. Let's hear it. We're just going to see what's going on. What time is it in Ireland? Can you Google that? What time is it in Dublin? Seven hours ahead. Nice, good call. Pull that city there. 8.16pm. Perfect. He's probably having a couple Guinnesses right now. What city in the world has the

highest population? Oh, he answered. Tokyo. Hong Kong? Dublin. Population's always Dublin. Hello? Hi, how are you? I'm very good, what's the crime? Oh, we're just having a crack here, mate.

We're on the pod right now. It's great to hear from you. It's an honor to be on. Yeah. I read your first message, and I know you sent the voice memos, but we figured we'd just give you a ring. Yeah, we didn't listen to any of the voice memos. Okay, so no context.

Something about Richard Hatch, right? Richard Hatch, yeah. Yeah. Lay it on us. Okay, so we were in Newport over the summer, Which Newport? Rhode Island or Newport Beach, California? Yeah. Sorry, Rhode Island.

Rhode Island. You're on J1? On J1, yeah. Got it. So we were working there in the summer, and one afternoon we were out in our balcony having a few beers when this man, this man in his late 50s, comes out into our balcony bearing in mind

you have to go through the house, up the stairs, and out the back of our apartment to get out to our balcony. so already it's a bit weird that this fella's just walking out into our balcony so we all look at him and we're like oh what the fuck's he doing here and we kind of realised that a few nights earlier where we saw this fella

because he came over to us and gave out to us for making noise when we were having pre-drinks one night but anyway he goes oh lads I always see you out in this balcony listening to music and drinking but you have no pool and it's really hot so I was just wondering if you ever want to use my pool

or more than welcome to come over uh so we were all like oh yeah yeah no hassle uh he went home and we were just like come on we might as well just go see what his pool's like across the road to this fella's house um and sure enough there's a pool with a diving board um it was actually pretty cool so about seven of us went in and a few lads just jumped straight in um and first red flag is i had i was getting into my swimming talks had the towel around my waist and your man goes um oh it's okay you don't need to cover up i'm gay and straight away we're all a bit like it's a bit weird but whatever we we went on with the their swim um and then we were chatting to your man for a while and when the lads noticed he had a load of like tattoos on him

about like sea kind of things like octopuses and diving stuff and he asks them what what the story is with all those tattoos and he goes oh he's really he's like really into diving and into adventure and stuff like that and it came up like what he does for a living and he said that he's actually the original winner of um of survivor and like i don't really know what survivor is but i could guess that it was some sort of tv show and one of my friends actually knows what it is he was just like fuck off i don't believe that at all i don't think you are and he's like booked me up Richard Hatch

and sure enough there was this fella Richard Hatch he got kicked off a later season for assaulting a girl really yeah

he did yeah he seems like a very he seems like a very troublesome character anyway yeah shows up in your house and

anyway he goes on we're chatting to him for a while we're kind of a bit freaked out that we're just with like it seems like a very unbelievable thing

that's happening we're just with this fella that won some TV show and won a load of money for it um and he goes on then he was like saying that oh i've had issues with your house before people in your house before and and that he didn't like our landlord and our landlord's son were there like throughout the year and he was having issues with him and he said that one time his landlord sorry our landlord backed up into his wall backed up into his wall and like took a chunk out of his

wall and uh richard was like oh yeah i took him to i took him to court um over it and uh we were like trying to just he seems like he's just trying to get money out of anything basically um and then we were like oh fair enough took him to court you obviously don't like this fella and he was like oh yeah but then like it wasn't like court court it was some like a reality tv show chrissy t in courtroom which he later revealed he was like really good friends with chrissy t and we were like this just this just can't be a true story at all so we all went home looked up this fella richard hatch and when the lads found out that he'd been in prison for a few years for tax evasion of course and we were like okay we have to look up this this tv show so sure enough

we threw up on the tv christy keegan courtroom and there was richard hatch and our landlord in court that's amazing and and then our landlord had this great this great roast on him at one point he's all the four best years of my life was when Richard was in prison obviously for tax evasion and that. Yeah, so basically this fellow, Richard Latch, seems like a bit

of a con man, but just the weirdest part of our adventures over in Newport. That's a great little taste. You were in America for like a summer and that's your... It seems to be the most American thing that could have happened. yeah that's awesome someone else and us hearing the story and it was like some sort of minor

celebrity that's great dude that's amazing i'm glad none of you got ganked dude yeah sounds like you go to this richard hatchett you don't go to a pool for a dude named richard hatch sounds like a serial killer yeah he looked yeah he looked a bit dodgy at the start like he no like he only had his little shorts on and then covered in tattoo he's like staying on tattoos and stuff so if you look him up he does look like a bit of an odd character but that's seven of us we're like we'll just go and see what this fella has to offer yeah strength in numbers so did you have any other interactions with him like how did the rest of the pool day go we kind of after that we kind of kept to ourselves smart yeah we're going to be leaving our our landlord's place

like within the week and we needed another place to live in newport for another week because we staying on working for that extra week so we asked him when we were in the pool before we found out out all this we asked him did he have any like rooms that he could give us no um and then like at the end like he was saying oh yeah that one of the one of the rooms in his house is being vacated within like a week or something like that so i mean it seemed it seemed a bit sketchy that he was like conveniently had a room coming up for us that would have been available and uh yeah we heard the rest of the story and him bringing our landlord's coat, we're like, okay, we don't really want to

associate with this. Take a look at their hatches. Definitely, dude. That's a great story. We're going to break it down on the pod, but thank you for calling in and picking up and listening. Let's have a crack. You're the man. Have a crack.

Have a good one. Talk to you later. Bye. Cheers. That's how they say have fun. i love that have a crack is like having a good time oh that's awesome dude my knee-jerk reaction was was different i didn't think it was going to take that turn but have you ever seen that video of uh there's this guy and it's his ring camera and his neighbor comes over and rings the doorbell

and just holds like the bottle of whiskey yes yes yeah i thought it was going to be like that where it was just like a guy who like wanted to hang but like this richard hash guy sounds like a nice i think my my biggest takeaway is the idea of being like i'm taking you to court and then you show up and it's chrissy tegan's courthouse taking someone to rich chrissy tegan's courthouse is amazing dude richard hatch net worth i mean this guy looks he won a million dollars in 2000 so he's probably broke at this point yeah but in 2000 that's like 200 000 bucks to be fair yours is five million yeah if you google mine it says i'm worth five mil really that's awesome wait how are worth five mil uh after that action equities mostly that fender bender yeah take me for

everything i've got yeah that guy googled the guy the kid you got a car with googled like your net worth is like holy shit we're getting a lot out of this one it also says i'm five nine which is a bummer dude but yeah dude yeah you don't you don't go you know maybe europeans are more i imagine they're more sexually liberal i think that's why there's hot old people in europe but i'm like why i'm never gonna go over to a neighbor's house i'm not like i'm i don't know if i'm adventurous like if even if a dude invites me over i'm like nah dude yeah it would take seven other people to go with me as like we have a little mini army but if the dude shows up in our house on the balcony that's a crazy the fuck out what are you doing this episode is brought to you

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Grab 20% off plus free shipping with code PLAYDATE because like a famous American philosopher once said, take care of your chicken, your balls, and your mentals. I've never once, in every house I've lived in, I knew one neighbor. And that was the first house I lived in. I was 19 when we were sophomores in college. And he came over and he was like,

hey guys, the wife's on me. Could you guys just like, could you wind it down? Yeah, exactly. we're like yeah for sure he comes in to like kind of kick it for a second uh starts drinking with us for like until like pretty late at night was like having a blast like playing pong with everyone i think he got in the pool at one point and then um he was like can i go use the bathroom and i was like yeah and uh it was kind of clear he was doing like drugs like he was like you like using not that i like anything against that it was just like so jarring to see like yeah this is sad an

old guy not an old guy he was like probably 40 and uh and i think when he woke up he realized like oh i over served myself and then i did drugs in front of those kids and we had no problems with them for the rest of the year that's nice yeah i guess we'd be pulling out for class and he'd be like he'd be like pushing the kid and like the little tykes thing and i was like i saw that dude blow you'd give him a little nod hello in the morning the subtext was i will tell your wife yeah it was i would love to see like their interactions where she was like can you go tell him to quiet down he's like no it'll be fine it comes back seven hours later dude amazing dude we in college our house was next to uh house of hasidic jews i think they can smoke

weed whoa because they would just come out they would sit out back and just smoke a joint like all the time that'd be funny if they were like the bad boys of the synagogue though like they like they weren't supposed to be doing i mean obviously i had nothing against it i was just like i don't we would have parties in our driveway and they never said anything and they would just come out and sit there and like smoke a joint and watch us it's just wild to imagine like the ultra religious sect like that like doing any like like if they like were watching episodes of breaking bad i'd be like you don't watch breaking yeah yeah yeah the first time the first time i saw a priest drink i was like exactly what the fuck are you doing he's like

did you see the jazz game like or whatever nba team maybe i said jazz i'm thinking like mormon like you don't fucking watch other stuff you just pray you pray yeah that's the idea of finding out they have hobbies yeah exactly who's that super republican like podcaster he's like an old like african-american guy and he oh i see those i saw a clip of him interviewing a gay priest oh bro he just cannot wrap his head around it at all like was he african no he's like jesse something bro it's the funniest clip of all time look up like gay gay priest podcast dude it's so funny oh oh are you talking about the like the news interview yeah the news the african news yeah no no no he's like i know what you're talking the clip where he's the guy yeah the funniest part of all time

why are you gay exactly and the guy's like i'm not gay he goes yes you are this guy no this guy is this guy is american like no he's just like he's like look up why are you gay interview that's not for the record that's not what i'm talking i know i know this is what we're talking about we're so excited to see it yeah it's so funny you're gonna laugh yeah it's like someone is on that's like yeah this morning one of the gay rights activists mr they call you mr julian on zima thank you for coming good morning where are you gay you are gay you are transgender you are a transgender and you're a gay rights activist and an outspoken um uh uh lesbian homosexual how can i describe you he's just tossing out

dude it's amazing he's just coming out like people will want i mean this is hard this is hard-hitting news in uganda dude it's unreal bro yes do you perform the natural obligations uh all right now that the other clip's done yeah yeah it's more it's just that first part the ugandan news is is up to no good over there okay what's your guy are you talking about this was just it was just like a a gay priest and he was talking about how he has a husband and like has had sex with men before and uh the guy is like furious he just can't wrap his head around it yeah it's insane that people are like it's just care about that yeah it's also am i the assholes just turning into like story time we might have to just change it to story time oh

yeah i guess hey not the asshole yeah oh this guy the irish guy is not the richard hatch is a weirdo richard hatches yeah he legit he went on a later season and he like a girl like cried and was like had to she quit the season because he like groped her during a challenge apparently oh and then he got voted out oh yeah i thought he said he was gay that was i think i think that was his defense actually dude the thing the thing of being like you don't need to change or you don't need to cover in front of me i'm gay that the logic of that yeah it's the opposite yeah yeah it's like i wouldn't change and i wouldn't like be naked in front of like a straight woman when i'm changing yeah exactly yeah well so unless you want it um i feel like

We're entering some murky waters there. Murkier than that salmon, dude. Or that fucking catfish. Should we do some Teach Me Something? Yeah. Did we tell you about this? Yeah, you did. I did one that Rusty's actually kind of familiar with,

but it's one of my favorite things. And it involves pirates, which I know Rusty likes. I love pirates. We almost made it. You guys actually have good pirate names. You have names, Rusty and Willie. You can either be two trains. I can see you guys being trains for sure.

Rusty and Willie. But also I can see you guys also being pirates. But there was something called or like or like male strippers You both show up in the time like I see you guys being like Thomas the engine you guys do merch dude Here's sharks sharks. Hear me out rusty and Willie you guys your faces on trains. Do you want to hear our merge idea? I should be yeah, actually This is how Rusty's worth five million you don't you don't Look you don't tell you how the sausage is made. You don't give up dude

i was listening to i i tuned into because will and angus went on chat on going deep and i tuned in william have they had you guys on william they gotta have no they came on here though okay um and uh and i tuned into a part and it was like right i kind of zoned out and then i heard my name and i kind of rewinded and it was angus telling that exact story he's like if you google rusty he's worth five million and then he goes and i know for a fact that guy is that guy is like scraping pennies together and i was like how did i catch a stray like out of nowhere i didn't do anything all right strider teach it teach some fun pirate be worth 500 million dollars one day to be clear um okay so i've told you about this this is something called impressment

british parliament passed this and they passed it a few times it was an act that always exists um 1703 1705 1740 1779 basically during like the 30 years war 100 years war and like the age of piracy and basically it's the most like intolerant insane act of all time where it was like you aren't allowed to just hang out if you're a dude and you're a young man and you're hanging out they would have something called impressment gangs that run around which were basically basically goons not cops but like goons who were like basically were the impressment guys but they called them gangs because like basically they'd go around if you were like hanging out basically transient or homeless they'd fucking beat your ass there you had three options you would get

your ass beat they had the right to kick your ass then you had the right to say your house burnt down two times you'd be like my house burnt down and be like all right we're still going to kick your ass but you're off the hook now but but we're going to take your name and we're going to kick next time we see you if we see you just hanging out not having a job we are also going to kick your ass again we have the right to kick your ass which will always beat your ass then you can't tell us your house burnt down because you have no home and so what you do then is they go but we have a deal for you now here's your deal we will pay you money to join the british royal navy because they need fucking sailors and soldiers and then that's the worst gig of all time what

they do is they put you on a boat so you hang out imagine being on a cruise ship at the dock like covid style just sitting on a boat but horrible living conditions horrible quarters people would probably get scurvy and die on there and then the money that they pay you was money that you then needed to pay the british government back to buy your navy royal uniform and then you'd get sent out on boats and that's how they like and these were their swashbuckling sailors with like two teeth missing you'd be like like those guys they would become fucking pirates or just dudes who worked on merchant ships with like zero rights and yes they got paid but it was like the a horrible existence and so parliament was like if you're a dude there was it was the worst place to live

you couldn't hang out you got thrown on a boat if hanging out's a crime i mean we'd have the SWAT team bursting through that door right now bro exactly yeah this whole business is fucked dude they come in and just shatter or maybe everyone would have a podcast because then it was like you could hang out and it could be a job exactly if you need somewhere to go the mics aren't even plugged in speaking gibberish into the microphones

so the fact that impressment this idea of impressment was insane and that there was a word for it you know what I picture when I think of impressment gangs they're like the clockwork orange like droogs like nightsticks going around like shattering guys kneecaps

yeah it's definitely a dude with a whistle blows the whistle sees the guy there they are and young kids are like it's like what they do to skateboarders dude this is why we need all skate yeah all skate call back all right what do you got willie all right do you guys know this isn't as fun but do you know i've always been really fascinated by the idea of crushes oh yeah like a crush on a girl or something no no like a like a like what others like a crowd induced death oh like when the way yeah like i'm just getting crushed you didn't phrase that i know is that what you think of when you hear crushes like the travis scott like wave yeah yeah like a stampede phenomenon it's called like a

crush whoa and uh in 1989 the hillsborough disaster have you heard about this no it was the fa cup semi-final liverpool was paying like some other less known team i think and palace bro that's That's what I was going to try to think of. That's my team. I don't think it was, but maybe it was like Nottingham or something. I don't know. Anyway, they were playing in... You know Nottingham Forest has like two cups?

They're not bad right now, Nottingham Forest. They're pretty bad. Really? Yeah. I think they beat Tottenham. You know, have you seen Luton Town Stadium? No. This is great.

Can you Google Luton Town Stadium? They just got called up to the Premier League for the first time in the history of their... Oh, amazing. L-U-T-O-N. Just so we know, I'm picturing the eating cafeteria from Harry Potter is what I imagine their stadium would be. oh and stadium oh that's wild google the google the stadium specifically though

it's just like this it's like right in the middle of the city and then oh look at see the brick the brick thing down to the bottom yeah that's the the entrance oh that looks cool as hell just go downstairs go to the right the one to the right of that yeah that's where you walk in for the away stands those are like apartments right there yeah yeah and there's like uh there's a video of a guy walking in that's like hysterical but yeah that's just the entrance to the stadium it's surrounded by just like little houses it's like not up to the standards of any premier league wait they're in the prep they just got they just made the premier they've been around for like 100 billion years and they just finally made it to the premier that's awesome i'm going for lutein and ham yeah

like look at this like it's just like a shitty like like it's in luton town yeah it's in luton town no offense to luton town but yeah look at those that is a view the right half of that is a view from the stadium honestly that kind of into those people's backyards with like their laundry hanging that kind of looks like a vibe honestly it looks kind of sick like going there would be pretty rad yeah great yeah i bet that i bet it's rowdy as fuck oh yeah oh yeah um yeah look at that that's the the visitors you have to walk through someone's living room there's apartments up on top of like the bathrooms uh anyway they're but they're building a new one i think because they found success but anyway the uh the the the hillsborough disaster was

they're playing um in i guess i i guess hillsborough maybe hillsborough stadium i think it's in sheffield whatever it doesn't matter there's a stadium and there were a lot of people there was a smaller stadium i guess relative and the people were like really starting to like it was getting really crowded at the entrances and the game was about to start so they opened up this gate that was just like right by they had this like you know how they're like they can't have this fans together yeah it's too so like there's like a side for whoever liverpool is playing and then like a liverpool side and it was all like standing room only behind the goal and so then because it was like such a like so many people weren't going to get into the game

they just were like fuck it and opened the gate that was like right behind the standing room only just like gate tunnel standing room only they just opened it up and they weren't checking tickets because it was so chaos that they were just like we just gotta get people in and fill it up before the game starts and people just started fucking pouring in and so people were going through a tunnel not knowing that there was literally no room on the other side of it yeah and people just kept coming in and people couldn't didn't know where to go 97 people died oh my god that's terrible yeah because they had like a big like fence you google the can you google the hillsborough like hillsborough disaster there's horrible it's really i want to i just i i i in like

obviously it's horrible but like i tried it up against that cage yeah dude you know in some of these like south american stadiums they uh oh people were trying to help up onto the second deck um that's insane in some of those like seven is in unfathomable in 1997 1989 97 people died oh yeah dude that's insane oh my god yeah i think some of those south american stadiums like it's so dangerous that the away fans are uh caged in from the top too to prevent people from like throwing shit in on top of them yeah that's crazy that's insane i went to a game in paraguay once when they're playing brazil and the whole brazil section was just lined with guys with ak-47s yeah that's nuts but yeah look at that shit dude like yeah dude that's terrible it's fucking so

gnarly did the game like keep going yeah they stopped the game and then they replayed it at like one of the big like yeah at the old trafford i think or something but damn it was uh yeah and then and so then what i was reading about is in the aftermath like the guy that ordered that other gate to be open i guess like afterwards i kind of like hid the fat like he of course lied yeah which which richard hatched yeah so he's been going to court he's been like in and out of court and like on trial for like from like different courts and stuff from victim victims families and shit for like his whole life which like a little bit of it is like warranted but no i feel like that's like there's no shot that guy was like open that gate yeah like is it foreseeable

i guess maybe that's the argument is that like you should yeah but apparently it really inspired a lot of change in terms of like crowd dynamics and because that's such a that's like there's so much training that goes into that that you don't we don't even think about like people in those jobs they'll have to know like that's like the the whole reason the travis scott thing like got out of hand is you have to have like three sides open yeah like that's kind of the rule because like if there's nowhere to go on the sides then like have you ever seen it from the top where it's literally like a wave of people like it's it's this crazy phenomenon but basically they closed in the sides and so people like had nowhere to go and like it's a domino effect so it's not

just the force of one guy shoving it's like i shove you and then like yeah it's basically like a ton of bricks is like hitting you into this fence yeah um all right on a lighter note yeah sorry that was a bummer you want to hear something fun that the romans used to do yeah picture that picture this we're all we're all spartans is that what they were legionnaires maybe romans legionnaires we just are greek no we just we just returned from some sick battle we just wiped like the carthaginians yeah the carthaginians the bohemians or something just got we just wiped it we just wiped their ass and basically they would come back just triumphantly in the in the the city would hold like a parade for them obviously and one of the things that

they would do is all the soldiers would get together and they would write lewd songs about their commander and so they'd be walking through the town singing like a song about him getting like boned or something and like the crowd would just go nuts they all thought it was hilarious and that was like how they celebrate and the commander was thought it was he was in it was like a it was like a point of pride where it was like they loved him obviously and that was how they showed it it's like a roast yeah that's hilarious yeah that's kind of great for camaraderie yeah dude they would they would come back in and be like we love strider because strider is the best and like and like yeah and when strider has sex he does it on his chest or something yeah you know

You know what I mean? Something like that. Yeah. That was kind of... That was good. That was good. Oh, very good, Legionnaire. Very good.

All right, Strider, you're the guest. You get to pick. Do you want to do slang words that don't exist first, or do you want to do historical events that don't exist first? Maybe slang words, because we just did some history. Let's keep it... Let's do it. Let's bounce around.

All right. We do a draft style. Okay. So you're going to start, then we'll... Then me. I got one right now. wait we should tee it up oh yeah these are slang words that don't exist kick us off strider okay my slang word that don't exist that does not exist is called um you go yo that's podium

and then what happens is it's like a move where it's like your boy did something pretty sick like he showed up like he comes back to the stadium with an extra beer for you because he knew your beer was already getting emptied yeah and it's not the best thing you've ever seen but it's definitely a top three good ass moves you go that's podium and it's for like the night like the way you would use it is be like this night that we're out like that was podium what you did last night you know when you go on a boys trip like someone gets mvp yeah so you if someone does a good mess thing of all time but it's podium that's nice like some guy when he went to costco he decided like you're all kind of hammered after the night out and someone got the puff cheetos

which i like yeah you go who did this podium yeah i love i love this it's not again sick podiums mine are all sick i believe it dude let's go i believe it all right i've got uh pop like he's got pop or he doesn't have pop is like you know they say like that bat's got pop like a baseball yeah it's like a guy who brings some spark and some energy a lively nature to the hangout is like oh we're yeah where's mike at dude he's got pop yeah we should hang out it's kind of nice too where it could be like you have a fringe guy but yeah he's like but it's not the guy you really hang out with we're like oh he's got pop he can come right he's got pop like he'll make it more interesting you know what i mean

you he could you could be like if someone's uh having a hot night like they're they're playing out of their mind you'd be like dude you got pop tonight yeah oh that's good yeah yeah you can even say like with the ladies like sometimes you have those nights like back in the single days when your game was on a little bit yeah yeah dude you got some pop tonight yeah yeah someone's right with the ether yeah yeah the more we talked about that the more i love that word that's great yeah he's corked usually you're corked dude but tonight

you're popped bro you're corked alright I got ice but you use it as a verb so it's like when you're really chilling like yo

come over to Strider's house we're icing it in the basement I love that I love that that's amazing you know what I mean yeah we're just icing it what do you want to do tonight

let's ice dude let's just ice it at your house let me just ice yeah it's like you're not going out you're not doing anything it could even be like

a recovery like you're like you're icing it like dude we had a big night we're just gonna ice it and stride oh yeah oh that's kind of almost a different meaning yeah yeah yeah i love that idea yeah that's great okay um it circles back to me yeah okay so we all are familiar with what bonvoy is it's the mirror reward points program yeah so i want to repurpose bonvoy and be like uh sort of similar to what rusty was just saying we're like hey man we're

going out tonight all the boys are getting together and you go nah i'm bonvoying it tonight And so what that means is just means you're going to drink alone by yourself and like have a six pack alone with maybe the lights off. But if you say like a French word about it, it feels less sad. Yeah. So it's more marketing. So it's like he's going to stay in, have a few beers, maybe have the lights off and just fall asleep in a chair.

Yeah. That's Bon Voyant. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. It's almost like almost Bon Voyage. Yeah. It could be a copyright issue, but I guess we're just using it casually.

We'll have to talk to the Marriott people. Yeah. I think that'd be cool. They're chill. They're Mormon. We should probably talk to someone at the front desk. Yeah. um i love it all right i've got treps these are concerns wait say it again sorry treps

okay concerns fears trepidations if you will oh i like it dude what do you have treps for it's gonna be fine it's like you got it's like i got no treps but i think he's a little you know stressed out about it i like that i love it i love it um i got wasp it's this this is describing someone it's someone in your life who uh is constantly like hurting you and it doesn't seem to affect them like they're a wash they can keep stinging you and it like doesn't affect them that's nice yeah they're not like i don't i don't like to hang out with that guy he's kind of a wasp yeah he's like nagging you all the time but he doesn't doesn't care realize yeah yeah i like that this one here's how you use it dude's a manual so what that means is he's just a straightforward

you know people say basic oh that's basic you like brunch i don't like that yeah i'm like oh i like nice shit like that makes me like bad like fuck that i like nice shit so i want to be if a dude's just a basic dude he fucking drinks beer probably only likes doggy style maybe hasn't experienced anything else yet he's probably a little bit young you know still wants to skateboard says fuck you to his dad that's manual yeah i like that guy this guy he's straight down the middle you know he likes boston sports team his favorite player is lebron james you know what i mean like it's the dude he's manual like grandpa you're gonna love him he's manual bro every grandpa Paul loves a manual dude

where he's like, look, he wants to start his own business. Probably doesn't have what it takes to get done, but that's okay. You could even take it

a step further and be like, that guy's stick. Oh, baby. Wait, were you thinking manual like car? Yeah.

I was thinking manual like... Oh, oh. He's by the book. I was thinking he was classic. Oh, okay. So he's manual. I like that too.

Kind of the same kind of works. Kind of a tomato. Yeah, yeah. A manual, Manuel scenario. Yeah, yeah. Yes.

Yep. That reminded me of something. My aunt one time... i'm tried to she i'll skip the the long story short is she'd messaged someone on facebook to ask if they needed the manual for the coffee grinder she had lent them and i just thought the idea that you would need a like a year after a year after a year after they've been out they've been at the house just like i can't fucking crack that yeah um okay i've got fork uh fork means you know you're going your separate ways so it's like sometimes you're at a point in the night where you

just need to be like all right let's fork and we'll gather we'll gather up later that's so good well that's yeah it's like like you're kind of at the part where like you don't you both know you're gonna it's like all right let's just fork and we'll meet up at my place later i'm pretty sure navy seals say that yeah i haven't seen it but i heard it but i'm pretty sure that's how good that is like a tactical situation like all right let's fork yeah fork fork fork exactly forks up he pulls a fork out he keeps it in one of his tack pockets it's just a fork everyone goes to Everyone scatters. Put the bag in and zip it up.

All right, I got boot. So it's like to leave a place or to go somewhere else. Be like, yo, let's boot it to the pub. All right, it's been chill. Let's boot it over to your house. Yeah, I love it. I love it.

It's more gusto than just peeling out. You're rolling in with some intention. Absolutely. This is one I've been trying to spread like wildfire for a while that me and my brothers would always use. but it hasn't caught on, but maybe now with this platform, it will.

I think former second baseman for the Atlanta Braves, circa 90-something, I think his name was Chuck Knoblot. So if someone throws out a suggestion, where you're like, hey, dude, it's like, hey, want me to put some whiskey in your coffee right now? You'd be like, no, Chuck Knoblot. So it's a way you'd be like,

it's like a way that you kind of say like, yo, Knoblot, but you change the name from Chuck Knoblot, you go, yo, Chuck Knoblot. It's like, I'm good. Chuck Knoblot. So it basically means, I'm good. Okay, Chuck Knoblot. Chuck Knoblauch.

I like it. Chuck Knoblauch. Chuck Knoblauch. That's the one you want to spread like wildfire? I love it. That feels like a... It's never caught on. It probably never will.

I feel like it just requires so much baseball knowledge. Yeah. True. It's too much. I'm asking too much. Yeah. No, they had some good teams. Knoblauch was on some...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was kind of the heyday of the Braves. Loved them. Jones era. Okay, I've got Glass. That's a guy you can see right through. Nice. Dude's Glass.

You're on fire today. Nice. Yeah, it's just like... It's like, all right, there's no enigma here. There's nothing special. That guy's glass. I'm not worried about him. All right, I got Lighthouse.

It's like the person that's kind of looking out for everyone, making sure no one gets in trouble, will be like, yeah, I got a little too drunk last night, but Lauren was my lighthouse. She stopped me from popping that cop in the face or something. That's great. Yeah, popping a cop in his ass. I got one that's also somewhat nautical maybe,

but not really. Patched. so it's like if you and your boys were beefing you know last night whatever happened maybe you punched maybe someone wasn't lighthousing and you punched Rusty you punched Willie and Willie goes you know what man hey patched you just bring it yeah oh I like that like we're good

yep it's good we're patched you and Will still beefing now we patched exactly yeah now we're patched hey patched yeah I love that um my last one is jelly this one can kind of go either way this could be like well I mean it's the same thing but it can have

it's like loosey-goosey non-committal like it could be kind of a diss if you're like you want someone to have some conviction yeah like dude dude's jelly all right like we can't trust him yeah like i you know what i mean you don't know on the flip side it'd be like if you're trying to organize something and you know a guy who'll just go along with the flow whatever you do you're like hey dude's jelly we'll bring him along yeah i mean he kind of molds to the container he's in i'm like i'm like will you want to go bowling or golfing tonight you're like dude i'm jelly i'll do whatever yeah exactly oh that's not yeah yeah that's nice i like that a lot yeah um this one sucks this one's so bad i'm sorry it's like another player from the bridge

so it's nolan ryan bridge it's like a guy who's constantly bringing people together be like dude i love going to will's house he's a bridge yeah i think that's good i hate it okay maybe you guys use the word like draw like the dude's draw like a drawbridge yeah he lifts up when you want to go under yeah something like that maybe that's more of like forgiveness he lowers his right he spreads when you want to go under yeah all righty um that was fun should we do yeah should we do uh some historical events that don't exist certainly yeah here are moments in history that did not happen okay um the birth of christian so this happened on uh actually december 25th year zero but it

was just a hot dude uh born he was the first male model so he basically paved a path and laid a foundation for all hot dudes going forward because let's be honest every hot dude have you ever met a dude named christian who wasn't hot no no thank you so this is the birth of the of christian yeah yeah yeah i love it uh yeah okay this was in just want to make sure i don't say it a year that makes me look like an idiot okay this was in 1971 uh it was the vietnam nba combined draft lottery first of its kind it went mavericks won the first overall pick everyone born on december 11th had to go fight for their country spurs got the second overall pick everyone born on june 19th

had to go die for their country and you kind of get the the they were trying to make the the vietnam war sound you know appeal to a wider audience and kind of get kids more excited about it exactly um but i might go play in the nba but i also might have to go take hill 38 yeah yeah so that's what happened so the projected number one overall pick was born on december 11th yeah so was this like he was like oh my god i'm going to this the mavericks and then he was like oh my god i'm going to and if you're a mavericks fan it's a love-hate scenario like hey we got the pick we might win a chip but i also might never be around for it yeah exactly go fight a war i don't believe in yeah yeah that's brutal history's brutal history is brutal it's not fun no it'd be funny

if it was like everyone born on may 13th has to go play shooting guard yeah they got mixed up yeah may 13th place for the spurs thousands of it was a chaotic deep dr j was swimming um this kind of this kind of goes along with with striders everyone knows about the last supper of course right yep not a lot of people talk about the first supper yes they all met up they were still like kind of feeling each other's vibes out and it was like like they built a friendship you know during it but at the beginning it was like a little bit awkward because they didn't know each other yet everyone's timid yeah yeah that makes sense i love that let's see oh shit i have these in my journal i have my journal i

wrote them i'm analog bro old um let's see here uh the battle of little bulge this actually took place in uh not the revolutionary war or the civil war actually took place in world war ii and it was the 101st airborne this was actually before operation market garden after d-day they figured out if we got guys with tiny dicks small little bulges and little packages we can get more paratroopers inside of the planes and so it was actually a battle where they got the most it was a not really non-confrontational they dropped in the wrong area no casualties but they did drop the most paratroopers at once ever and it was all the guys with the smallest um dicks that's i remember i think i remember that yeah wasn't that a band

of brothers that was a part of that was a band of brothers episode yeah it was yeah i like the i like the visual all these guys and then they all land and they're like ready like guns are blazing and then they're like ah fuck we're like eight clicks east they scattered them like sticks I'll never forget when Crunch Watkins attempted to become the first man to bike across the world oh yes and he drowned off the coast of Florida

right off New Smyrna yeah Crunch Watkins he was so inspired by Amelia Earhart he wanted to get lost that was his goal I need to get lost somehow i can't fly a plane i like his bike he thought he thought like the seven mile and drowned

he thought he thought like the seven mile bridge down to key west like wrapped all the way around the world blew off the end um you guys know jack the ripper of course yes a lot of people don't know that before he started ripping he was actually jack the tickler and it was more just like like stop like he'd come up behind me and like tickling big all right jack fucking quit it dude and he was just wreaking havoc on like like south london and people were wearing like extra coats like his fingers couldn't like get to their sides and he was a heavy early investor in the tubes of london because he would tickle people down there yeah there's nowhere for them to go they're trapped they're trapped people like oh my god you stop when you're on the train

is what are you gonna do yeah tickling tickles a lot it's very kind of sadistic like that's a future serial killer 100 yeah uh we should have seen it writing was on the wall this is the siege of des moines you guys uh this actually happened last year a lot of people don't know about it a ton of mounties you know what mounties are those are those canadian there's canadian dudes on horses they actually got on their horses and sieged the entire city of des moines no no they ran out of coffee and canada they look like they don't serve caffeine coffee in canada you know that's true no i'm messing around tom's coffee great stuff but they ran out and they needed to go to des moines they they rode down to des moines and they got back they got what they needed what

they needed yeah i always thought a siege was a really funny like way to go about war just being like we're not gonna like we're just gonna cut you off until you like yeah you know what a siege was yeah yeah they would like they basically like if there was like a castle they would just like stand outside and be like nothing's coming in yeah and they got up on top didn't they then they would usually like start throwing like the fire catapults after they'd run out bro exactly that's like the famous boy um what's the latest indiana jones um harrison ford with harrison ford he's the only one the guy oh fuck man i forget the name anyway fuck it's dude i can't remember but this guy from syracuse was a famous scientist who invented a bunch of like machines of war

in like roman times and he like would wait he was from syracuse in roman syracuse new york yeah in the fucking in roman time sicily oh the real i was picturing like he like graduated with carmelo archimedes that's his name he's the same year as jim bayheim he invented like death rays and shit everyone's like rushing a frat like who's that guy making catapults um okay i've got uh do you guys remember when they discovered the fossils of that 18 and a half foot armadillo that shoots rockets off of its back i remember reading a headline about that yeah yeah they were like holy shit that one would have fucking sucked good thing those died yeah the guy that found it he ended up he ended up being in a triple homicide

triple homicide he was discredited yeah and i was gonna say you know it's like always something horrendous happens yeah i just picture a guy with like the little brush he's like oh it's cool it's big armadillo and he gets like the back what the fuck yeah those missiles nuclear warheads the warheads on the back um it was so cool gonna put like monster energy drink on it to get the dirt off it's so rad um we're guys right yeah we all love wearing short sleeve shirts yeah or you ever wonder like how they came about yeah i did remember you remember those like waffle print like henley shirts that like guys in like paper mills would wear this guy was you know like working the mill

and his sleeve got caught in the cog okay and it ripped off both of his sleeves but it like kind of stopped right at the elbow and he he was like oh that was like a close call and then he just kept working and everyone was like that looks fucking awesome he was like way more mobility and there's like way more breathability and that was how the uh the t-shirt was invented the t-shirt yeah that's kind of sick yeah whoa pretty cool stuff i didn't know that actually yeah i didn't either until i wrote it down dude this is uh you've heard of this this is the y we all know this is the y1k crossover we all remember the y2k this is y1k yeah i remember that year 1000 ad and this took place in roman times and everyone was worried that their mail was going to get lost

so he was the first guy to put lids on mailboxes and that was the y1k crossover this guy i forget He was unnamed. I think it was actually a company. It was like an IBM of Roman times. Yeah. And they went around and they're like, look, we need lids for mailboxes now. So that was the Y1K crossover. Before that, anyone could just get to your mail.

IBM in Roman times just meant 43. Yeah. Your summer travels deserve an upgrade. With select Chevrolet, Buick, GMC, and Cadillac vehicles connected by OnStar, You can stream, game, and more on the go. Whether you're headed to a music festival or a cottage getaway, you can access hundreds of apps on Google Play right from your center display. Explore OnStar Tech today at OnStar.ca

and discover how to take your summer to the next level. OnStar. Better never stops. How quickly could you do that math? It's not. I don't think B. No, that was good. I don't know the rest. I don't think B is one of them. I bought it for a second. And one, was M a thousand?

yeah yeah i don't know i don't think i could be before m yeah i don't know how well that would just be like nine or it'd be nine yeah yeah um i'd be a nail uh navy seal terms is i need to take a number two really no i'd be yeah i like the idea that like uh you know like in the real y2k like they were worried like it wasn't gonna cross over what if like all the monks writing down in their bibles were like what happens when we get to a thousand like are we it's that's the winning idea exactly they're like oh wait page 1000 what do i do um so you guys know how there used to be like a french put oh sorry my bad i forgot i thought you don't worry but i'm excited that was my bad i got excited uh do you guys remember the

when the the very famous founding fathers softball game benjamin franklin was a catcher obviously washington went two for four with three rbis john jay had two home runs uh there was one inning where i think it was monroe and and jefferson went back to back off of hancock yeah oh yeah do you remember that yeah hancock was dealing heat he was dealing heat but then he got he he didn't know when to pull himself from the game very true yeah george washington however he knew when to pull himself from the game he did it at the perfect time and then john adams get it his uh kid john quincy had a meltdown crying yeah he got sent home classic little league style classic yeah yeah i remember that um you guys know the french there was like a at one point

there was the french pope and the italian pope and they like you know yeah they didn't know which one was the real one so a lot of people don't know that they actually went to summer camp together and they did like a parent trap style swap where like the italian one went back to france and the the uh the french one went back to italy and they like governed each other's states for a little bit is that what the movie two popes is about i think so yeah i think they yeah yeah oh that's fantastic and then of course out of that is how they came up with the vatican yes yeah yeah they're like we need to we need one place that's where the camp was right i think it was in maine yeah it was the camp was in maine yeah right they went to they went to

yep of course that rings a bell it's a camp nagas or a camp they went to camp uh nagaponego or something something like that what's the what's the River, Will? In Maine? Saco. No, the Anderskagen. They went to Camp Anderskagen. Yes, it was Camp Anderskagen. That's right. I forgot it was Anderskagen. And their parents got back together. The Pope's parents fell back in love.

I think so. One of them was Dennis Queen. Wait, do I have one more? I think we all have one more. Oh yeah, this is the let me see here I don't even think I i had another one to be honest my last one sucks i'm done just call it yeah i have one more all right you do mine's not great either but i do want to say that you guys ever heard of the year

of 12 kings no god so this is great so uh england was basically like it was just fucking pandemonium over there and people were getting beheaded left and right like they didn't like the way that you know kings had been governing in the past and so they held like a king for a month promotion and each month they would pull a name out of a hat and he or her would rule for a month and they just like would see how it worked and they did that for 12 consecutive months. That's great.

That reminds me of mine was the Knights of the End Table. It's all, there was 12 knights and they sleep in their full armor between two end tables and they made so much noise that that's how they invented alarm clocks. I forgot about that. Yeah, that's how it happened.

Yeah. Mine was the Machu Picchu Nightmare Disaster. I gotta hear about that. It was a big storm, and a bunch of tourists got stuck up on Machu Picchu, and so they had to, like, re... It was, like, inaccessible for, like, months, and so they had to, like, restart the civilization. And so they were all living in the Machu Picchu homes and stuff.

Dude! By the time people came back up, they were like, no, we live here now. And so now it's a functional society. I like that the Machu Picchu Disaster wasn't... It didn't describe how bad it was, so it had to be the Machu Picchu Nightmare Disaster. And they all died, I guess.

They're dead now, yeah Yeah, they all died from a bear A rogue llama Fuck them all up A rogue llama This has just been a blast Wait, we got one last segment That we didn't tell you about

Whose personality are you stealing this weekend Oh my gosh, wait, of anyone in the world? Anyone in the world I was going to say maybe one of you guys, which would be too hard to choose Okay, if I'm going to steal anyone's personality This weekend who's living the dream right now who's on absolute pure fire right now uh probably okay maybe caleb williams when he gets drafted first overall on thursday week yeah this is thursday damn

and he's got a sense of fashion what's that gonna look like in your life like how are you gonna how are you gonna emulate i would just pick up things and throw them i'd be like dude just having that arm strength just be like dialed dial just throwing stuff it's like hon could you get me a glass of water just flies across the living room i'd pick up water throw it dude like unfrozen water uh so i think he's gonna be on cloud nine well what about you yeah i'm thinking a little i'm thinking a little tatis fernando tatis oh he had a moonshot dinger and when he was coming up to third base he did like a like stutter step which i thought was cool okay i like swagger in baseball i know people hate on him for it but i think it's badass it's lame yeah what oh they

make it fun yeah it's like sorry that was awesome to watch yeah yeah so swagger i'm gonna have some swagger i like that lauren trying to brainstorm um maybe sabrina carpenter who just performed at she had a wonderful i didn't go but i was just like watching some of her set on youtube and she's just the cutest person and i think she has great energy so see you back here next time when a headline that's what she said yeah um the guy from salt burn oh she is oh very cute yeah he's a little tiny little yeah he's little too though really she's so cute yeah she's tiny there was a there was like a video of it was them two at someone's set and then taylor and travis right behind them and they were like lined up like the bleachers the height difference was

so so funny yeah um you guys remember when we went to hanana a couple weeks ago yeah the only time we've ever hung out yeah really this would be a good crew do you remember my uh do you remember my buddy luke sawyer that showed up yeah i think i'm just gonna like get on his vibe he's always in like a really good mood yeah he always brings he's got pop he does have pop he has he has a lot of pop he's he's constantly inviting me to things which i which makes me feel really good and i think that's a good thing to incorporate into my life and he also uh is always doing something really cool like when he moved out here he fought wildfires well dude i had a buddy that for a little bit no he's like i think he was like a smoke jumper amazing freelance dude that's

incredible yeah shout out lucille here all righty guys uh strider thank you so much for coming on do you want to plug do you want to plug some of your stuff you have so much fantastic check out history is dank uh rusty's been on it willie's coming on it we'll get that going uh i just shot a stand-up special got to sell it so right now we're editing it so hopefully we'll sell it

and it'll be somewhere streaming if not I'll let you know where it is so keep your eyes peeled in the ensuing months yeah

Strider Wilson thank you guys guys we love you have a great rest of your week and we'll see you on Wednesday comment your favorite

moment from history that didn't happen yeah comment comment your favorite moment from history that didn't happen and are they making it up

or is it make it up no no no I want you guys to make your own up yeah all right see you next week episode 35 that'll be our kevin duran kevin duran episode