Will & Rusty's Playdate - Unbreakable Pond

Episode Date: January 8, 2024

Happy New Year playmates! Rusty talks about meeting the love of his life, Willy reminisces on being a Wii golf legend, and Lauren misses Omegle. The boys also draft more rom com movies and wars that don’t exist. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod (00:00) Intro (00:52) Rusty’s Soulmate (06:02) New Year’s Eve (10:57) Raw (15:02) Pitch Submissions (19:09) Live Streaming Bars (22:45) Half Loaf of Bread (25:30) Pitches (28:55) Omegle (33:27) Playlists (37:39) More Rom Coms that Don’t Exist (46:48) Wars that Don’t Exist (52:13) New Segments! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Going on vacation? We're here for it. With kids? Who turn the backseat into a courtroom drama over whose tablet is louder, whose charger is faster, and why watching the same cartoon for the hundredth time is a human right? Yep, we totally have vehicles to handle that. Because whether it's a road trip or a business trip, where your flight's delayed, your phone's at 2% and your dinner is whatever's open, yep, here for that too.

Enterprise. We're here for it. all right play date episode 18 18 peyton manning episode we should okay this is our peyton year this is our peyton episode peyton sewed um i met my soulmate yesterday on the plane i got so i had a pretty hectic morning i was leaving palm beach and because wait you were sick right well i was sick but i was also in palm beach so the i posted on our stories like we will not be posting an episode this week because rusty is sick well so technically i technically we weren't posting it and i was sick but those things were not mutually you're also in florida uh but if i wasn't sick if i wasn't sick then i would have posted we're not posting and and rust i think i posted we're

not posting and rusty's sick it wasn't i didn't say that it was the direct cause and effect but so i get to the airport at palm beach and went to a chili's and was like i need a bloody mary like and this is bad drank it it tasted like the woman was trying to trying to poison me it was the worst bloody mary like strong or just gross it was so gross and it was so spicy and i went to the bathroom and i had to like throw it back up sorry if that's graphic that is graphic and over yeah and sick so it was just like a whole thing whatever make it to atlanta get on the get on my connecting flight right bless you lauren thank you bless you lauren uh old woman comes on the plane stops in my row she points to my seat i have my headphones on i take her bag and put it up there

and she like touched my arm and was like oh my god that's so nice and says i'm 85 years old like nothing at this at this point not sexual at all it was just like whatever uh dinner or lunch comes on the plane i got upgraded to first class also so it was next to a very classy lady yeah lunch comes i take my headphones off after we're done i was like they do lunch yeah is that just because first class yeah i had short rib and she had like some vegan thing whatever i take my headphones off just to make conversation was like how was it and she was like it was good immediately segues into something about mystics and i'm like pretty mystics yeah like people who can like sense that it was bizarre like wait i don't know if that's the word i based like psychics

mystics she kept talking about mystics and she was like jesus you know jesus christ was a mystic and i was like kind of drunk on this plane and was like yep i did know that and then we talked for uh i remember looking at the duration thing and when we started talking it was like two hours and 45 minutes left when we stopped it was an hour later and i had to be like i have to i have to put my headphones back on but we had a great conversation then when i when we were getting off the plane she goes we'll see each other again oh i was like all right i don't think we will but that's kind of cute yeah she was like a very pretty 85 year old it does feel like you're a little bit into her yeah no i said it you should lock that you realize the game plan there

yeah you lock that down now she had a husband yeah oh was she talking about it's like at worst she mentioned him once at worst it's like a little weird for like five or ten years and then you're set for life. She sounds rich. You just tough it out for five years. Maybe she thought I was rich because I was in first class and we were both trying to hook up with each other and we're both pretty middle class.

Wait, does she live in LA? No, she was coming to LA to visit a mystic. That's what she was talking about. Oh, you might have dodged a bullet. She was flying across the country to see a mystic? Yeah. I don't know, that's pretty baller. It's a swindler. That mystic that got her to fly across

the country? She was reading his book and annotating it on the way there. Oh, it was a book by the mystic? Yeah. Man. I didn't want to say anything. People spend so much of their lives just believing in shit. I mean, it's the same as any religion, I guess.

This didn't seem religion-based. This seemed like something else was happening. Yeah. I think it was basically a cult and she didn't really realize that. It's okay. Yeah.

But if it makes her happy, if she goes, if she dies feeling like she's going, if she's at peace with death, that's a beautiful thing. However you get there. I'll just say if I have a wife and she's going across the country to visit some hot 30 year old mystic, I'm not letting that shit happen or I'm coming with, I'd be worried about his dick. There we go. You got it.

You got to quit it. That was good. What is that drink? Accelerator. no free ads this is just pop yeah turn it around oh you say pop uh no no you didn't you don't you never say that i never my brother says it and it pisses me off actually because he's i mean we grew up in the same places kind of but he went to ohio state and then he came back from ohio state now he says pop well because it is a pop's a midwestern yeah but it's like if you're an adult and you go

somewhere for four years that doesn't mean yeah you're from the midwest you don't say pop that'd like if you came home from if you came home and chester was wearing flip-flops and he called him thongs you'd be like yeah or if i say like you're faking all the time it's like dude you're not from boston you just went to college there for four years i don't know wicked's pretty cool wicked the musical went to see it one time oh yeah horrifying horrifying yeah well it was i was too young it was just a lot happening i'd like to try defying gravity well the movie wicked's coming out this year and ariana grande's in it with her boy toy right isn't that how they met spongebob with spongebob yeah that poor bastard he caught or no no he got like he just caught so

much well he also left his wife he left his wife yeah fuck that guy never mind oh he had a kid too yeah he has one still i mean it's ariana i liked that i liked that in my head he the kid the child evaporated the second the second that he started dating ariana when parents get divorced the kids evaporate what did you guys do for new year's i hosted willie d's suck down oh that was real yeah we put it was like a event to promote the beer in boston oh nice that was on new year's uh new year's eve yeah could you bring your buddies yeah i got like they let me bring like 30 of my buddies nice uh it's kind of tight they have 30 buddies yeah i don't know i don't have that i don't have 30 buddies it was i have seven including you probably i do have a actually a

pretty big friend group in boston which is nice so it was fun to see all my friends it was a little bit like you know when you have like a lot of friends at one place and like you're kind of the the common thread yeah you're like i felt like i was constantly feeling like oh i haven't talked to them in a while and i invited them so i should go yes you're the catalyst in in the friend soup i just felt it probably wasn't it probably was all in my head but i just felt like i had to keep like bouncing around so i felt like i was kind of just like i wasn't really getting in any deep conversations at any point were these all friends from the same group or were you bringing a bunch of people from different walks of life it was mostly the same group there were a few there

was a few different kind of things yeah but it was it was my own i think it's fun being that guy because everyone's like hey yeah i guess um i i always like when you or i dislike like when there's two different friend groups and you have to find a way to to do it usually it's completely fine but like me peter buell and phil who are they're my like two two of my best buddies but from very different places and we all met in nashville together and i there was on the way there i was like what if they just don't like you and then they ended up hitting it off but that would be phil i met phil you've met phil he's a great dude he's a really good dude and he's listens to playdate he'll hear this shout out phil shout out we talk about him a fairly decent

did he send in a pitch in the beginning i feel like i read yeah he sent it yeah he was one of the first pitches we read what was oh it was the alcoholic curing which exists apparently we got like i got yeah we got like we got hate like you like we were the ones that pitched it also we looked it up apparently it's super shitty it's not like it's not like the one that he was describing is different than the one that exists i think the big liability that with the real the big issue with the real world version was that it was confined to the laws of reality yeah i hate when shit's real it has to be real all right should we listen to some pitches yeah do we have some pitches how many should we do today three yeah dress three okay yeah we have

a lot we have a lot because we got some cool stuff coming up we got uh wars that don't exist yep more rom-coms that don't exist rom-coms too which i was writing mine on the plane yesterday i started started some of them on the plane yesterday and i was like i had a little buzz going and i kind of forgot the calm part of rom-com so i was just writing down romantic things and they were all sad as balls and we really did calm on the last one either well like might have some calm there was room for for calm in the last ones there i wrote down a couple and i texted them to katie and she was like daddy these are all so sad that's not You need more calm

I'll give you a spoiler No I took this one out because it was too sad But it was basically There's also a common theme Most of my stuff today Has to do with trains and I'm sorry about that It was this woman Eventually got hit by a train

And she was like whoa Katie was like take that Change that part Get hit by like a toy train Like Thomas or something that would be making it happen to thomas thomas is scary i don't like him yeah what was the mean train's name on thomas the train thomas oh i know what you're talking about can you look him up yeah can you look pull him up picture pull that up uh pull it up i think i think if playdate gets big

enough we have a separate guy when when playdate gets big enough where we only like he's only there for when we need we need googling and then lauren just gets to be part of it this guy doesn't talk and we just go like pull that he's constantly googling whatever we're talking what is yeah what was his name diesel 10 that cannot be his name ew who's that ugly that's thomas no that's the french one thomas is blue yeah no look up look up french thomas the train and thomas the train french france french train french train yeah yeah one of them was no the the yeah this one was french i like etn is a hilarious name a little guy i can't believe that was a part of my brain that i didn't know i had yeah i don't know knowledge about thomas the train fish

oh yeah wait yeah rusty oh wait don't look at his google search don't look at the search close your you gotta see if you recognize this is like i i can only imagine being someone on spotify right now yeah both those fish oh they're like they're like someone someone's on their way to work right now being like well this fucking yeah this blows for me don't don't i'm not looking dude okay so i don't know why i get like upset about that uh well speaking of fish lauren gave me lauren and and her lovely boyfriend gave me a sushi recommendation last night it was so good what kind of i had uh i had two two set it was like there was a bunch of nigiri it was like salmon uh and some other fish whatever and then what was it all right you can go now okay it's called

yeah that's uh that's um that's rainbow fish what like aren't those characters from rainbow fish no but what am i what's the question what is that from what is that from that's from aren't those like immediately like oh my god i forgot about those memory no i thought those were background fish and in rainbow fish damn it what is it it's from we play fishing not familiar you didn't play this okay for everyone listening oh oh that's so funny no i never would have made my way there but That's awesome. Wow, the mystery fish, 240 pounds. That's a lot of points.

That's a ton of points. I don't remember like what. We got to get a wee. Dude, you know I'm really good at wee bowling. I'm really good at wee golf. I have like, I have a multiple perfect games, like over six perfect bowling games. All right, well, we got to do this.

Wait, did you say you're good at wee golf? Yeah. Yeah, what's your best? I think I've done like 10 under once. I think 19 is my best. 19 under? Wow. My freshman year of college, me and my roommates

got, like, really, really into Wii Golf. Yeah. That also goes hand-in-hand with... You got into Wii'd, and then that led to... Honestly... Wii. Yeah. That's how everyone I know got into Wii.

We just had a Wii in our room, honestly. We played it, like, morning, day, and night. Like, it wasn't, like... It was, like, in-between classes. It's more inclusive than Xbox, too. Yeah, it was just... We grinded, grinded, and we all got really nasty at Wii Golf. We were shooting, like...

I think my buddy Matt shot 22 under, which is nuts. isn't that like the theoretic like the best dude the best theoretical score no one's ever done it was like 32 under a guy put together if you gotta semantics 22 is insane he was my roommate joe was at a mit fraternity party and they had on the wall of the frat like all of their weak golf scores written and they were also pretty fucking nasty so he like was like hey like who lives in this house like found the guys who live there was like yo is this you guys and he's like yeah we love we golf got their contact info and we organized a match so then a couple weeks later we like practiced all week grinded we went over and we played a rider cup against this fraternity where

it was like we did like we had like singles matchups doubles matchups that's fucking awesome that makes me so i fucking choked so i got yeah they were all like seniors and we were freshmen in and i just got nervous and i shot like a like a 10 or 11 under and ruined my doubles pairing matt broke our wait am i remembering it wrong i feel like 10 is 10 under was yeah but we were like elite everyone there was an elite we golfer like 10 under was not getting a fly high and we lost and it was largely my fault it was pretty embarrassing but it was awesome yeah all right can we uh let's hear some pitches yeah okay our what did you just click what does cleanup do It straightens everything out and makes it in perfect lines.

That's sick. For what? Because I... Yeah, it's pretty good. Because Lauren has... On the desktop? Because I'm a... Lauren's got burgers.

Yeah. She don't believe in shoes. Okay, all right. We're starting our pitches. Our first pitch submission round of 2024. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, happy new year, you guys. Happy new year.

Happy new year, everyone. 2024 is pretty bizarre. I think it's going to be a great year. I like it. Yeah. I like it already. Kobe year. This is our Kobe year.

This is our Kobe year. Last year, we did not have a very Jordan year last year. Yeah. I did almost nothing that Jordan did. I actually retired and came back out of retirement. Yeah, that's true. That was your Jordan year. All right.

So let's hope. I don't know if I want to set that precedent for this year. Let's hope that this year is not as... Sorry. all right let's pitches okay this one is from harvey murphy he says hey legends i'm only three episodes in so i'm not sure if you're still accepting pitches we are we're always accepting pitches yeah people are like oh shoot i'm too late always do we respond do we respond to these people and be like hey we used it or do we just hope this no we just do it should i start we

know i don't want to set that precedent yeah i did it to a couple people once because i was feeling nice and i haven't we should dm this guy though and be like by episode eight like when you make it's episode 18 we have a treat for you is he three episodes in meaning he's starting for one he also sent this a month ago so some of these are really i hope we didn't lose him he's like hate talk yeah okay i'm only three episodes in so i'm not sure if you're already said that uh i think she's cooking lauren this is lauren's second podcast of the day by the way yeah i'm sorry lauren guest subbed in on the almost friday pod so lauren tell me you plugged played it on there at some point did they talk about how you were actually didn't no they said

that but i was just they said like they said like we're borrowing okay yeah all right because that's that brought you that's like a call up to the big leagues i know i should have said something but it's not sorry that's fine imagine they fucking steal lauren and we get emily don't do it again okay i think there's big money in developing an app that is like airbnb but it's for pools people can sign up to the app and let people hire i don't know if that's the right word hire out their pool for a few hours or all day so next time you and your buds are melting in a one-bedroom apartment that has no l no ac all you gotta do is jump on pool finder that's so good i love it i'm i hate to be this guy but i think this is a thing it can't be there's no way it

can't can you google it because when we were at that photo shoot at that yeah no no but that's different no but somebody said pool we had the whole say airbnb okay yeah swimply swimply it's airbnb for renting your pool did you say this the cnn title was literally fuck dude i'm sorry they these guys beat you to it somehow the cnn there's a cnn headline swimply it's like airbnb but for renting your pool that's a bummer i mean it's still such a good idea but credit to your yeah the good news the good news is your your fake idea was so good that cnn yeah oh look you can rent that's pretty sick dude that's like not that bad no six what is an hour for like a shit ton of mad men pool is is that's the pool from mad men for 80 bucks an hour

in portland maine now it's gotta be oregon did i clean that wait wait click on that pool i cleaned that pool in high school the mad men pool this is crazy it's oregon bro oh there's one that looks just like that who has a has a diving board board inside and it was the biggest house i've ever seen like not not i don't mean like a tiny diving board i mean like olympic full this guy was an olympic diver oh that's sick okay he retired and he had that he had a uh like a 10 meter or whatever the like you know the the yeah yeah whatever probably more than 10 yeah 10 meters is fucking it was i remember looking at it it's fucking high yeah anyway all right maybe it wasn't 10 me good idea but so i hate to bust bust your bubble sir i think it's a great idea yeah i mean

so good of an idea that's so good an idea that cnn is like you guys gotta check this out yeah all right well done honestly that's probably the first one that someone's pitched like like um not cheating and it actually was a thing yeah yeah okay next one is from colton born i think we've heard from this guy cb have we cb i don't know i don't know um he says pitch idea for the fellas i was doing last minute christmas shopping at hollister and was watching oh yeah wait that's crazy i haven't heard about hollister i feel like i'm like 10 years i got you a hollister graphic tea really no and he was watching or i was watching the live stream of the beach that they do in there waves look pretty tight today i say then i think to myself what if we live stream bars nothing worse

than showing up to a spot and the local Remax is having their end of year party thus bringing down the mood I introduce you to Barfly a subscription

no we didn't I just got this no no no I'm saying I'm saying I hate to I'll let you finish did someone do something

no no no this also already exists live streams of bars I met the guy I met the guy who came up with this they're only in a couple bars but it's basically

that exact thing where you go on your phone and you check how pop in the bar is before you go uh jared sullinger from the ohio state basketball player is the one who is doing this no you're right i actually have heard of this but i just can i just isn't that insane jared sullinger threw in for a loop that guy was a dog let me just so good at basketball all right continue

let me just read it okay those aaron craft teams so bar fly you can hop on the app with the boys while pre-gaming homies is looking pretty lit plenty of lovely women to chat with let's ride you say or maybe the improv group that performs on campus is taking over the bar at chili's not the move fellas chicken crispers will have to wait scroll through your local bars and get the plan together before conquering the night the app will also display drink prices events and specials barfly and then in quotes know before you go i like that slogan yep it's really good i like the improv jab always yeah always here for first improv slander i also my movie my movie my movie i met a dude at new year's who came up to me and he was also in your improv group at bc

First of all Not improv First of all How dare you Your comedy group Who? He knows Lupica too It was like

This guy It was crazy Older dude Older dude Yeah And he was like He's in my sketch group I did sketch comedy

Not improv He talked about The beef Between you guys And what was the other Fleabag Yeah Fleabag And what was yours

Called again? Shovelhead Yeah Fleabag is what Amy Poehler was in So they kind of have Oh I love Amy Poehler I always get her mixed up

With the other one That I don't like Tina Fey No Schumer Oh, no, no, no. Amy Poehler's good. Amy Poehler's the best. She went to BC and she was in Fleabag.

All right, Lauren, a lot of pressure for this third one because so far both of these exist. Well, he already knows the one I'm about to read because he told me to read it. Okay. Okay? Like, fucking lock me up, throw away the key, bind me, like, gag me, tie me up with a bunch of ropes and toss me in the Charles River. What do you want me to say? Ugh, stop.

You caught me. Bind me, gag me, and make love to me. And just, like, tie me down on, like, a railroad track and do your fucking worst. All right. What were you saying? Okay, it's, I'm actually, it's a million degrees. In here? Yeah.

Could not be more room. Okay, well, I was also in here for an hour and a half before. We are in the room that they named room temperature after. Because this is, because it's. That is, I like. That's a good, that's a good bit. Well, I'm sweating. The room that they had.

Okay. The guys who were deciding on room temperature, they're like, well, which room do we base it off of? The last room temperature. Okay. Okay, sorry. All right. I don't know why that happened. Jared Lowry.

He says, have you ever- I thought that was the name of the pitch. Sorry. I like it. Have you ever seen a half loaf of bread? Didn't think so. Introducing the half loaf of bread. wait for single dudes that love to make a good sandwich but simply cannot finish a full loaf

of bread before it goes bad and feel guilty when they inevitably have to throw the second half away bang i love this i love i this is a every loaf of bread i buy gets molded oh this is real same i thought you were saying like like i thought you were laughing at the fact that someone couldn't finish a loaf of bread i go through a loaf of bread in like a fucking like three days what are you eating what just fucking anything sourdough you gotta get when pigs fly also willie if the well i don't know why i'm so upset about this if the if the if the bread is getting moldy just put it in a before it gets moldy just put it in a tupperware no it's it still goes bad i don't think so if you put it in the freezer it won't no i like this yeah my every time i buy

bread i have to basically throw it away and it's full so yeah i like that i like that he said have you ever seen a loaf of bread a half loaf of bread instead of being like have you ever seen someone selling a half loaf of bread like like we had we've never seen it i uh i like yeah just split it into two halves i would buy the half in a heartbeat what i will say i've just i've kind of decided i was like because i literally was at tj's the other day with this exact dilemma and then i was like you know what i'm gonna do i just bought cold cuts and cheese what is tj's Oh, Trader Joe's. Trader Joe's, yeah.

And I just bought the ingredients for sandwiches. We have loads of bread at the office. So I just brought a bag with all my cold cut ingredients into the office. So I just used the bread here. Why don't you use the cold cuts from here also? Because I like, like the cold cuts here kind of rank sometimes and they run out. Yeah. They're like the...

Kirkland. Yeah, they're like Kirkland and they're like, I like Pepper Jack and I like salami. Well, people also leave the cheese bags open and then they get so hard. Yeah. That's nice. I like having my own. I don't know, Lauren, this was before your time, but when we first got to this office like last year.

I remember it. It was, also it's different when the interns are here. It was like fucking, it was like a grocery store. There was everything. You could make anything. And now it's just like, I don't know who's slacking. I think it's because it's in the summer when we have interns, it's always better.

Yeah, I used to go to Kirkland with... Actually, it's only happened once, but me and Maddie Glick went to Costco together. Yeah. And it was a blast. It was fun. All right, should we pitch each other? Yeah, I mean, I'm fucking red hot.

I got a new journal for Christmas. Let's go. Yeah, it's a fancy one. I was investigating it yesterday. Bullet Journal. Bullet Journal. Bullet Journal will sponsor us. Welcome to Play That Pop.

Brought to you by Bullet Journal. Don't you hate when your journal isn't of a lethal, amount of force it's it's it's bullet journal for for lethal notes no i really like this company lect term yeah all right i got the perfume capsule pc you ingest a pot of great smelling liquid so when you sweat it comes out smelling like whatever perfume you would want so you could take like a chanel number five go work out and honestly not only do you not smell bad you smell fantastic and everyone at the gym wants to be your friend that's great i love it or just before a date if you smell bad you just sprint around the block and it's like yeah oh yeah yeah or like your if

your armpits get sweaty it's yeah it's almost like i want to sit like this yeah you're like check this out sugar bean yeah it's like what i call ladies on first dates okay i love it all sugar bean sounds like something else that's a cute one what is this wait how can you eat it though um with your mouth orally well no but like obviously oh lauren wants it to be like a what's it what's it called when you put something in the other end it's like a like you know when a doctor gives you like a pill that has to go like you have to put it up your butt what's it called it's called a thing nah you know you what are you joking i don't know yeah that would be funny if this is how i found out that like my doctor was was like was like a bad guy

what google what it's google what's it no actually don't go what would that even be it's like a it's like a little doctor putting thing up rusty's butt all right it's a live stream from my doctor's office oh no all right what's it called when a pill goes in the other What's it called? Wow, she types really fast. A suppository. A suppository. Oh.

Yeah, it's a real thing. Okay. I've got the self-vacuuming rug. Nice. It's a rug that has little holes in it, and then it's got like a switch on the end that you click, and it just goes like, and it sucks up all the stuff. But only small stuff.

yeah i wouldn't take like your shoes or like your dog no your dog would get like stuck to it for a second though it'd be like it'd be like a little pulling his hair through the thing you definitely want to take your dog off but it's not gonna suck your dog up but i feel like this could be a thing it's like a bunch of tiny little holes and it's just like like when you aerate a golf course green yes yeah yeah okay i love it because i just there's lots of little crumbles and crinkles in my carpet and i actually Vacuuming is kind of fun, though. I like vacuuming.

Vacuuming a rug and look, it's fucking, it's a blast. Because I have like a table and a couch on it. So it's like I got to move those. I wish I could just. I love cleaning, honestly. All right. You should come over to my house and clean it. No.

All right. You love it. My house. What's the problem with Snapchat? Too many filters. You know everyone on it. Too many randoms on the Discover page. this is you're gonna hate this idea then my problem more random um it's it's snapchat like

mixed with omegle so you send a picture and it just goes to a random person and they then they send one back and you like see what people are doing in the other parts of the world i think that would have more cocks than omegle oh no no it it it it gets there's there's a ai that detects Anything naughty. Oh. Okay. Honestly, probably you could... You could send things like five out of ten naughty, but not genitals.

Okay. Like, naughty in the sense, like, I could be like, smoking reed, and then some guy in Jamaica would be like, also smoking... Jerking off. Also jerking it. I like that. Rastafari. Yeah, I do like...

That actually would be kind of fun, but it's just with all those things, it's just like it ends up jerking off. I almost put in a disclaimer that there's no dicks, but I kind of hate when, because it ruins the fun of coming up with an idea when you can be like, all the bad things that you'd be worried about. Yeah.

I had to. You know what? Fuck it. You can send dicks on it. Omegle got shut down last year. Yeah, it did. End of an era. It doesn't exist anymore?

No. I remember there were these kids that would play a drinking game where they'd go on Omegle and every time there was a penis, they'd take a shot. no i would just go and like i would actually talk me and my friend went on it once and talked to this guy this guy in like hawaii for like 45 minutes no and he was sweet and wholesome when

we and we shared life stories and it was actually really cool i bet he was hoping to share more than his life story yeah no did you guys ever get like your ip hacked yeah no i was playing i never did omegle no i don't mean from omegle i mean like i was playing call of duty once and i was shit talking to this guy and and he put he replaced my gamer tag with my exact address and i turned it off or i think it happened on like your home address no it happened yeah it said like it said like four they were like i know where you are and then they typed yeah what did it say it said well i don't even live there anymore fuck it i said four bellfield road cape elizabeth man you can go to his old house dude uh the people that moved in there are like hippies now it's super

annoying they ruin my whole vibe people forget that willie's willie's address is on the internet why remember when we literally said where he lived in one of the episodes i said the street name i know yeah it's the big greenhouse on uh stop it stop it stop it i don't thornton court people are gonna people people are gonna come in the words people are gonna be asking for autographs outside my door when i get home all right i have the god my third one i can't remember what it i literally came up with this morning it just says bird catcher but i feel like there's more to it than yeah there's definitely more to it uh i'll do the other one though no no let's let's try and let's come up with this bird bird catcher would be it's for bird watchers you want a closer look

no no oh oh oh i remember it i remember it has nothing to do with birds well it has something with birds like the scooters oh i think there should be sometimes i like to scooter to work and sometimes i can't find a scooter like i have to walk far to get one there should be like a way in the app you can request one and then like one in the area just like turns on and scoots over to your house yeah on its own and it waits outside for you and then it's right there when you leave your house can you imagine like you're walking down the street and you haven't heard about this new feature yet and one just like erects itself and starts driving you're like the fuck just happened yeah i feel like that could exist like it comes to you wait why is a bird catcher oh i

guess you're the cat you're catching it your bird comer sounds worse yeah bird comer was the original idea um one time one time chester and i were taking a like a burger a lime back to where we lived last summer you know that final like push up the hill which way like on uh like westminster yeah that final push and we were i honestly was shocked we made it this far it was both of us on the same line and instead of just getting off and walking that extra feet we were like committed to taking it all the way home like the motor was working like overtime it was going like one mile an hour up the hill that's funny all right i got oh i lost it i got okay do you guys create playlists i know wait you're apple music right no okay thank god brian's apple

yeah no i have good she's title so do you guys do likes though like like no i mostly listen to my songs through my likes i don't really do playlists anymore but the problem is i have so many songs liked that if it's just on shuffle and i it runs out of the first few that i queued up i have to skip through like 10 songs before i get to it one that i like again even with some of your playlists it's just you don't want to hear that one so this is uh tinder for your songs right so you go through and it'll just play a quick snippet of the song you either swipe left to keep it or swipe right to get rid of it and and then it compiles all the songs that you currently are liking into one playlist and you can do it like don't you have an app like that

for like i have that for my camera roll yeah and it's awesome wait so you mean you're gonna do this for a playlist and then just swipe through and then delete them it doesn't delete them it creates a new one of the ones that you actually like so that you have I make individual playlists like I make a few a week honestly that's crazy I make a lot I make like little ones

what's the most amount of likes you have on a playlist on one of my playlists yeah I don't think a lot I have like 35 I have a great playlist but I don't know how many 12 I mean this is my

I have one called good music songs for charity for who for chilling it's 11 music songs for chilling if you want to check out hours long yeah if you want to check out will spotify check out good music songs for chilling yeah lately i've actually been listening to a lot of spanish music nope don't like it i got into french rap one time in college that was pretty fun i think i because the flow i had at the lunch yesterday french rap yeah it still flows the same way like normal rap yeah but the words sound so much cooler because there's so much like yeah in it i have a 40 hour playlist jesus freshman year of high school that's what it's called no it's just i've had it since what's the first song um

i think hey hey yeah hey yeah it was like our it was like our friend group's party playlist yeah this one is 37 hours and 38 minutes with 40 saves jesus and the first song is midnight I trained at Georgia. All right. I got called exclusively bangers. Everyone comment down below. First one is where them girls at. Your favorite Spotify playlist.

Oh, yeah. That's a new... I think we forgot to do this last time. The comment this week is your favorite Spotify playlist name. And so everyone who hasn't made it this far that looks in the comments will be so confused. Oh, just the name of the playlist. Just the name of the playlist with no context.

I like it. Okay. Will, what's your last pitch? I have the remote-controlled record player. Okay. big issue for me is like i think having a record player is cool i think the music so you guys have a bunch of vinyls yeah i have like a huge record collection but like it is objectively a little inconvenient to have to get up flip the record you know start it blah blah so it should like you

should just like have an app on your phone like if you're on the couch or in the other room you can just start up the record player and it'll drop the needle remotely and start playing and then you can press a button to flip the record and it has like a robot arm that goes isn't it kind of isn't part of the whole reason that you would do vinyl instead of just play it out of a bluetooth speaker is because it's kind of like the manual like driving a manual car like we were talking about like you're not you're not doing it because you're not doing it because it's easy you're doing it because it's cool it looks cool no and yeah but it still looks like vinyl sets that's like the sickest yeah it still looks cool you just don't get up and leave the room i think that they

did back back in the day have a machine that would like like the record could flip it was a really nice record player that would flip the record well it's not just the flipping too it's like look i don't want to listen to this song yeah like you can you can control it i mean yeah maybe it's just sucky maybe i'm just a bad maybe it's just sucky all right should we do wars that don't exist or rom-coms that don't exist part two let's do rom-coms to start all right you start us off All right, these are rom-coms that don't exist, part two. I've got The Unbreakable Pond. It's about two ducks that are in love,

and a new housing development comes, and they build a, like, bridge right in the middle of their pond, and so they're both separated into different halves. And then one has to make a journey through this new housing development to get to the other pond to find his true love. I love it. wait wouldn't how did how fast did they build this bridge that they did the ducks didn't have time to just end up in the same part of the pond um fast as hell lightning quick no one of one of

the ducks went over so it's like to get something that's sweet there were breadcrumbs on the other side you got distracted yeah all right i got peace train um it's just the one where the no this one originally was the one where this is the one that originally ended with her getting hit by a train okay said in the early 20th century after the completion of the trans-siberian railway this guy okay named oslo and meets this girl named helga on the first like luxury train it's like the titanic of trains is going across europe got it and um she gets off the train before they have time to tell each other how they feel and so in an effort to find her he becomes a train conductor because that's the only thing they have in common.

It's too early for them to have cell phone numbers or whatever. So he's like, if she loves me, eventually she'll get on another train. And she spends the rest of her life train hopping. And then one day he sees her, like a couple years later, sees her getting off of his train, but he's the conductor and it's already going. And he has to, like, slam on the brakes and they have this really romantic moment where he's running down the tracks. That's awesome.

Yeah. I love that one. Okay. I have two working titles. depends on who pays me the most money it's either post soulmates or uber meets uh and it's someone it has to be post soulmates okay post soulmates someone post mates taco bell and falls in love they have like a interaction with the delivery person yeah then they fall in love in that moment and the person leaves and then they're like can't stop thinking about it so they just keep ordering

more cheesy gordita crunches more baja blasts every single day and they just start like their life is falling apart and they're like it like their health is deteriorating and they're just hoping they get the same driver um and it turns out that person that was that oh i guess it has to love at the end um and then they fall in love at the end cool um i was picturing it like a disney short yeah like a quick little yeah well they keep coming back yeah um i got love takes time when eric peters wakes up and realizes that he's treated every woman in his life poorly uh romance like every sorry let's start that one over i got love what's it called again isn't eric peters your friend no eric peters was from that band that i made up called eric peters and the bastards

i got love takes time when eric peters uh realizes that every romantic relationship he's been in he's treated the woman poorly he uh invents a time machine and goes back to fix all of his wrongdoing with past ex-girlfriends yeah and it's just like a compilation of him just going back and being a nice guy this time i like that's a good one all right i've got wait it's just called wait okay it's about two people who are at a crosswalk they're on opposite ends of the crosswalk and they start they start like making eyes with each other and kind of it's like clear that they're falling in love and they want to run across and see the other one so they they both keep pressing the button more and more and it just goes wait wait wait wait and then the it's like goes on forever

and then the and then at that long last one of them yells i can't wait and right in that moment it kicks in like that yeah that means you can cross yeah and they run and they meet in the middle and they is this this is a pretty short movie it's like weirdly long it's like there's clearly something defective with the crosswalk and like other people just say fuck it and go it keeps going it there's a bunch of flashbacks yeah oh that's what it is you're right you're right and flashbacks are like times they previously had met and then it cuts back and it's like wait and it's like back to reality and then it's like they sink into these fantasies it's like wait back to reality and they sink into another fantasy and then it's like wait i can't wait i can't wait

anymore i've got um i've got it's also a working title i think i'm gonna call it you're not abroad and it's about these two kids who are on a broad trip in europe and they have this evil headmaster and when he takes them on a field trip they sneak away but they only have enough room for enough money for like one hotel room so they have to spend the night together and they fall in love and then but he's trying to track them down and he's hunting them down through europe and they you follow them as they you know experience a lot of new things i love that um i have love from above love it this is about a member of the united states military military who operates a drone in the middle east and he is slowly falling in love with this like

one like woman in this town that one spec on the yeah yeah like he keeps seeing her do like really wholesome things through the drug yeah and he's like she's the one so then he starts dropping off like extra like aid packages or whatever and then she starts falling in love and they have this like whole romantic thing and then is she in love with the drone or the opera that's like she's like in love with it's like unclear and then there's like this whole tension where it's like he's supposed to obliterate this community and he feels wrong about it so then he crashes the drone

and he defects and he goes and visits her and he approaches her and that's the big reveal is that she wasn't ever in love with him. She was in love with the drone itself. Oh, wait, no. They have to be in love

for it to be a rom-com, right? No. I mean... Can I have a side ending? That's good. I was going to say I thought you were going to be like he gets beheaded or something.

No. Okay. No. Why would he? No. God, no. I got your age is my number. It's about...

This feels, like, dicey, but... Why? Like, you get to pick... Oh, oh, oh, oh, I get what you're saying. No, it's the complete opposite of that. Okay. A boy and, like, a nine-year-old woman sit next to each other on a plane, and they fall in love with each other, but...

This is what happened to you. No, this has nothing to do with it. I came up with this before. Unrelated. and um and she's too old to have a cell phone so she gives him her address but then on the when they're when they're walking out uh the second she gets out of sight like the wind sweeps it out of his hand or whatever and he spends the next couple days trying to track her down so he goes retirement home to retirement home trying to find her and then it turns out like she was just not as

old as he thought like he thought that she was oh yeah and then he they run into each other while she's visiting her grandma at the retirement home because she was actually only like 50 but to him she it seemed like she was like 90 got it yeah i love that thanks um my last one is called category five romance um it's a hurt there's a hurricane okay and this one person's power goes out so they have to go foraging through the neighborhood and they find a house that has power that a generator and then so then they they're like can i can i be come in here my power's out and my windows are all broken so then they have to spend the hurricane together and they fall in love during the hurricane similar to uh to what was the one that i had about a snowstorm like

weeks ago snowed in maybe i don't know yeah yeah oh someone dm'd us something that was like alternative idea it's called snowdin about edward snowdin or something um i got blinded by love yeah so there's this guy named oliver and he's blind and he literally bumps into a woman at a coffee shop and they hit it off and uh after like a week he's like you should meet my friends and they're all like dude she's so ugly like she's like like i haven't figured out if she's like really ugly if she has like some like horrible like burn i don't know and and they tell him and he has to uh decide whether he cares about what's on the outside or just what's the inside yeah let me guess inside prevails uh yeah i think so i haven't gotten that no he's super

superficial all right that's all i got that was it right yep okay we also got wars you want to interest sure these are some wars that don't exist wait i have a question for you yeah oh yeah yeah do it that way let's open up the history books here rusty what are some of your favorite wars from all of human history uh i like the battle of a single death so it was during world war ii there was the axis powers and the allied powers the government forced them to still recruit people who were visually impaired and they're like i don't know what to do with these guys they just put them all in one like platoon and the two blind platoons met each other and we're just firing but they're so bad at aiming and and after like 10 minutes like realized that

no one had been hit except for like one guy and they just called it yeah i remember that one yeah uh i have the french or indian war french keyword is or there um this was just before the french and indian war yeah where they just kept getting conflicting reports about who they were seeing on the battlefields so they're like all right we don't really know what's going on we're either fighting the french or the indians so they were calling it the french or indian war this is also this is kind of a twofer this is also the name of a war that broke out when two people couldn't decide where they wanted to go to dinner um i got the 10 000 years war it's just been passed down from generation i don't know if it's like i don't know who's involved i forget but they've passed

it down for so long that it got to the point where no one even remembered what they were fighting about because they were so far removed from the initial conflict that they just stopped fighting after 10 000 years there we go uh i've got world war one and a half yep it was a large scale european conflict on par with the other two world wars just didn't have quite the marketing budget yeah so it's kind of flown under the radar yeah it didn't have the star power of the other two yeah there was no you know big characters or but it was it was bad i got the war of passive aggression um in this war the it's similar to the war of northern aggression but this time the north and the south are kind of just doing it's more petty than anything they're they don't actually

admit that they're in a war and most of it is just like small acts of sabotage and like kind of trashing each other in the papers but then when you ask them if they're in a war they insist that everything's fine i like that uh all right we've got the antarctican revolution uh this was an antart it was a huge revolution that happened in antarctica problem is it there's like three guys so it was basically just like the guy who was in charge of like the penguin station or whatever was like slacking and so like the two other guys they were like screw it we're in charge now yep and uh it was the largest conflict in the history of antarctica i actually would disagree because you're not taking into account the two poles war oh no when when uh north pole who was led by santa

and elves and it was like elves reindeer and snowmen versus the south pole which was polar bears penguins and dwarves i think maybe and they used the magnetic force to like slingshot things at the other pole and then poland randomly got got involved and no one really knew why well if it was all the polls yep uh okay the 101 years war this was uh two small countries in eastern europe wanted to gain some notoriety so they contacted the the guinness book of world records who told them about the hundred years war so they had a guinness book of world records guy there while they engaged in armed conflict for 101 years just so they could set a record i love it um i got the rail war it was basically i remember that one yeah the rail war was uh like a dispute

broke out over who owned that railway that stretches from europe to asia i think and every country wanted to say it was theirs and so they took the war to the rail they all built these war trains and basically like the main because it's such a long railway they rarely pass each other so the best way to do it was just to leave like small pebbles and stuff to derail the other people's trains and like pennies and stuff because it would flatten it that was like a fun fun way to stay entertained i love it yeah uh my last one um an all-timer is the war on christmas eve unlike the war on christmas which is motivated by perhaps anti-religious sentiment the war on christmas eve was motivated by kids who were getting really impatient and they realized that

They could get rid of Christmas Eve. Christmas would come a day earlier. Yeah. How did that work? They were trying to make Christmas the 24th. Gotcha. Yeah. I forgot about that.

So they actually forged Jesus' birth certificate, made it the 24th, and it was a big deal. Yeah. Crazy. Lauren, what's your favorite war? Lauren, what's your favorite war? I was going to ask that, too. I don't remember any of them. What's your favorite rom-com?

I don't have any. I'm cutting that out. What? You don't have a favorite rom-com? Oh, just actually in real life? Yeah. Oh, you thought I was like, make one up now? Yeah, I was like, I don't want to.

I don't want to. My favorite rom-com... My favorite rom-com... Oh, I like 40-Year-Old Virgin. Is that a rom-com? Yeah. Yeah, I like that one. That is a good one.

Okay, well, this was a blast. yeah i was gonna say i think we're off to a good start you guys good 2024 we're gonna i think we might cook in 2024 i heard that one of our bosses told us in a meeting told lauren apparently in a meeting yesterday that he wants us to have some new segments this year who said which boss edge yeah i mean i've been saying new segments because he's fine so i'm i'm posing that oh to our listeners too if you have any ideas for things i was thinking maybe we do something where we we break down the news you love the fucking news dude what everything's about to fucking news i do what if we did the cradle on air oh my god dude the cradle today is so hard really yeah i don't

even know what you've never you've never even heard of this country i got bhutan we both got in four guesses you got it in five harper got it in three which is shocking my dad got in five it's a cradle is it gives you the gdp of a country and all their main exports and you guess a country and it tells you how far away you are from it and then you get closer. Yep, that's not... We both got Bhutan. Yeah.

That's baller as shit. I've been memorizing... I spend all of my time at home memorizing every country in the world. I can do the Americas, Europe, Monsoon, Asia, Northern...

What'd you say? Monsoon, Asia is like... It's like Asia, but it takes out all the shit that's not actually Asia. You know when they're like... They're like, well, fucking...

Technically, this country is in asia i don't know what you mean yeah but it's not so it's like it stops it stops at like bangladesh so nothing east of there or west of there i mean yeah i don't know like that's just what it's called on the app on the thing that i do it doesn't have the middle east is like not part of it got it which i think the middle east is africa anyways no at least is asia yeah so it takes all that nonsense out yeah i mean turkey is really the only ambiguous one it's split between asia and europe and yeah um and i can do northern and western africa that's baller all right well this was a blast oh we didn't talk about like new year's resolutions

oh yeah um my new year's resolutions are i want to give more high fives i want to get more into trains and i think i think that i want to be nicer to people but i haven't figured i haven't decided if i want to do that one yet i want to find a new type of bear or some other kind of animal that no one's heard of it's a good one actually i want to start reading i read three chapters of book that's pretty good days ago in one sitting in one sitting on the train on the am on the down east dude that train fucking rules yeah those are great okay everyone tell us your new year's resolution and spotify playlist just the name of the spotify playlist no no here's what you do you take write out your news resolution and then write out the spotify post and then then do every other

word from each one so that it just like all the comments look like gibberish absolute nonsense in the comments all right perfect do that whatever he said all right we love you and wait so this is coming out on monday yeah and we will see you guys again on wednesday we'll have another episode in two days and that's me that's on me i was sick and in florida so one of those things was way more relevant won't yeah won't happen again and i hope you guys had a great monday or have a great monday and we'll see you guys on wednesday love you peace this family is on the brink of civil war mob land the hit original series is now streaming on paramount plus we are the harrigans don't know the net and google us from the underworld of guy ritchie do you want to step

up the matter i want karma dead starring tom hardy pierce brosnan and helen mirren do i have to do everything myself you want more i'll give you more mob land new season is now streaming on paramount plus