Will & Rusty's Playdate - we ate eggplants to catch a buzz w/ brandon wardell

Episode Date: May 21, 2025

Comedian and writer Brandon Wardell joins the pod to talk Sausage McGriddles, coexist stickers, and Bikini Bottom. The gang also covers blacking out at minor league baseball games, eating 20 pounds of eggplant to catch a buzz, and Brandon’s business pitch: Mamava Pods After Dark. Plus, they invent old-timey baseball names and draft sayings that don’t exist. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP NEW MERCH HERE: https://almostfriday.shop/collections/playdate-pod RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg FOLLOW BRANDON: https://www.instagram.com/bswardell LISTEN TO THE BRANDON JAMEL SHOW: https://open.spotify.com/show/2K1DrD9rpiDHKXJBdInlCF?si=cc7a35f6d25a4b1e SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: VISIT https://us.dollarshaveclub.com/collections/playdate-podcast AND USE PROMO CODE PLAYDATE FOR 20% OFF $20 OR MORE. LIGHTSTRIKE - THE FIRST HARD BEVERAGE BUILT FOR THE LONG GAME. VISIT https://www.drinklightstrike.com TODAY.  SHOP SKIMS MENS AT https://www.skims.com/PLAYDATE AND SKIMS STORES. 00:00 Intro 07:22 Meet Brandon 12:06 Believe Science 15:58 Why is the president always married? 24:53 Who put that in the butter? 30:54 ITYSL 37:03 The Fall of X 46:00 Military Bases 53:51 Privatizing Twitter Likes 58:59 Roadmap/Pitch Submissions 01:17:19 Pitches 01:26:49 This Guy Rocks 01:37:59 Teach Me Something 01:43:48 Drafts #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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at the center. Find your advisor at IGPrivateWealth.com I don't think I've ever had a McMuffin. Really? No. Oh, is it the pancake one? Dude. I've never had one either. The griddles are fucking... I had it right now. I was thinking of a McMuffin. Same. Is this your go-to? Yes.

Wow. The griddles are fucking gas. And the logo, that's so cute. It's science food. That's also a veteran play, because that a lot of people get the one with egg and cheese too that one's overkill this is the best one i always like because they ask they're like sausage like i'm like not just sauce because it is fun the i don't really like the cheese there i mean it's fine but like um and the egg they put on this one is different than the it's not like the scramble yeah it's like a folded scramble

it's like a whole fucking thing it's a folded log yeah you would get overwhelmed if you get egg and cheese on your mcgriddle it's a fucking nightmare but it's just sausage those are the best ones but so those types of patties those are my favorite wait did you take no one in la has those it's good we're leaving all this in i'm good millie's has this oh i'm good i got this is crazy this like you like it yeah i mean are you guys it's like it's just um it's like yeah are you is it um is it like a salary yeah yeah and you just do a bunch of stuff we do a bunch of stuff and then you get like a percentage of like the brand deals that you bring in oh that's great yeah they get most of the brand deals in exchange for us having like

health insurance yeah yeah stable income they give you health insurance yeah that's great pretty sick oh yeah that's very nice i how when was the last time you guys went to the dentist i just learned that never not since i like wasn't a kid that's what i said i said since i've become an adult i haven't gone and i got reamed out well i got on set it up i was on like sag i'm on sag health insurance right now got it okay which is like is it good really good it's really good yeah um but like i'm not going unless someone unless someone's like the only reason i went when i was a kid is because i someone else my dad had like made the appointment like i don't know i don't know when like my teeth need yeah and like for some reason in my head it's like

like i would always go uh like on winter break when i came home from school yeah so now that it's spring in my head it's like well i can't go until next winter wait till winter yeah by the we haven't we're just we're just talking regular right yeah we hear an accent if you want no oh i meant like we're not this isn't on the podcast oh this is i can be i think it is if you want oh i don't care it's fine did you say something i just didn't know if we started well none of that can be in there that will take me down that's fine it's fine that i said that i went to the dentist last month but i i just didn't know if we started recording the podcast we did we're going we're rolling yeah okay play date episode 107 tony kukoc oh yeah tell him you

either have to guess a seven-year-old or someone who wore number seven oh guess like a seven-year-old or or someone who wore um it's easier with the higher numbers um oh or a player that yeah wore the carmelo anthony yeah okay so i got tony kukoc he's got carmelo anthony um uh let's see um uh connor p nice yeah like is that a kid yeah because there's like a there's a different connor in the class and so this is that's the other that's connor that's a good ball yeah that's like that's a seven-year-old yeah there's some parent out there getting their son ready for school they're like con holy shit they don't connor are you oh he knows connor p i i don't yeah i don't know any seven-year-olds good currently i did when i was seven for sure yeah

probably eight i knew a couple seven-year-olds uh when i was eight problematic age gap friendship yeah i was like i um what who okay um what players did what other players were seven on their jersey kevin durant wears seven now does he because of tony whatever happened him i thought he was like really good now i feel like i never hear about him i mean he's old he's older now he's still awesome he's still he's still on the court yeah i i've um i mean he's done very well for himself i i do really um i got i was like obsessed with um fuck kd by by little b i've never heard it really have you not heard what did he do to little b fuck kevin durant fuck uh yeah i don't know if we could can we pull it up pull it up maybe we don't have to

well he he gave him the bass god's curse because he said he like tweeted one thing about little b once yeah like i think before he was famous kevin durant i think before kevin durant was famous how old is little b um i mean he's just been at it for a long time oh wait can we can we pull up the music video video yeah is that is that the music video i think it's us no that's not it oh no that's not it that's fucking it is the first one yeah they made a fuck kitty too it's i love it who is this guy you don't know a little bit why is he so pressed oh i like this wait no oh let it play please just like for a second please still on the court and i'm still holding court but he played a duke uh i don't know

they just oh wait i don't want to show the clip of him playing on like sports no i don't want to get copyrighted oh you won't you won't little b won't it's a fake song yeah Lil B wouldn't do that. It goes against his code. It goes against the... Did you hear that? No, what did he say? Sorry for the...

Are you going to go back? He said, no, no, no. Oh, but he said, shout out to the WNBA. You got some fine ass girls. I don't know if that's fucking... No. And that's... I'm sorry.

I'm sorry he said that. I hate this song. You're apologizing on behalf of Lil B. But yeah, he said, let's play a game of 21. it's really fun he wants it he wants to play kevin durant in a game of 21 yeah um yeah kevin durant just like he was he was being negative and so he cursed him you know there's a lot of lore here he went on espn a couple times yeah he was like wearing like um like grandma earrings on on on espn i'm like i don't know if it was first take or why'd they like give him a platform to do

that because he's the man got clicks yeah well you guys just you guys never uh i've never heard of a little you've never heard of little i've heard a little bit but i don't really have any oh also before we go any farther we're here with brandon bordell oh yes yes yeah sorry he's a comedian yes uh fellow podcaster i have a podcast with my friend jamel called the brandon jamel show and that's on instagram oh you know go on instagram follow me on that you know go there i'll post uh dates for the road oh yeah yeah all that but i and i um what was what was your name lauren lauren yes lovely to meet you lauren nice to meet you and i brought i brought uh she's having a mcgriddle for the first time and he had he had his first mcgriddles really good first ever guest

to come bearing breakfast yeah actually yeah well because i was late i was late because well i wanted i'm coming from like the other side of town yeah but then also i did want mcgriddles for myself and i knew and i knew that i was like like if it was like a situation where i was like if i leave now and i don't get mcgriddles i'll get there exactly on time or i get mcgriddles but i bring everybody else yeah yeah and i pay that i i pay that price yeah and i but and you love it right it's great and you love it i did love it i was laughing when you texted me you were like hey i'm gonna be 15 minutes late yeah but do you guys want sausage clearly he's just on time and then gonna stop it yeah it softens the blood yeah you got the good

news the bad news yeah good well it's crazy if i come in here with like a mcdonald's bag yeah we were talking about that like when you show up to class late or something with like a coffee yeah it's like flagrant yeah it's disrespectful and i i you know i respect i respect the um the institution of course of mcdonald's of mcdonald's of podcasting of this of the almost friday media building and uh i wanted to make sure that if i was coming late i'm coming correct yes and let's talk about mcgriddles because here's the thing right because you're having you're you had you just had it i just um and we because we kind of got in the weeds we did a little bit before the before the mics were on before the cams were on so you brendan brought

sausage mcgrittles not sausage egg and cheese mcgrittles let me be clear there's a very i don't um yeah there's a very important difference between the two a lot of people think that you need the egg and cheese they they went with a different egg on this one and it's not good it's like a folded thing and then the cheese this is too much this is a classic case of less is more sausage mcgriddles love this stuff great science food yes um but the what's the science food like just made in the lab yeah it's like because it's a bun that's like pancake but it's like it's like with like just enough it's syrup in it they there are syrup pockets in it so ty my roommate ty and i were talking inside of it yes it's fucking awesome welcome welcome the

future is now yeah we were i was eating a crunch wrap supreme last night i i just learned about him earlier this week i've had i've had two this week you just wait this is your first i've had two in my life and they've been in the last 72 hours wow and i was eating it and i was like there must be and i bet the mcgriddle falls under this as well i bet every fast food chain that's doing it right has like one really high teenager in a room they just keep they pay him really well they keep him there he has all the ingredients and they go like we're gonna pay you really well just get really high and like report back write down everything you make the crunch wrap supreme is the highest thing of all time it's a it's not it doesn't exist in nature they put the

it's like um super stimuli yes yeah it will doesn't talk about all like the same ingredient like they have like 10 ingredients and then they just like figure out new ways it's also like kind of the healthiest one really yeah the lettuce yeah because of all the lettuce it's like a salad no it's like no i i think it's literally like well the thing is it's like they're they're doing all kinds of fucked up shit there for sure but it is like um i think like it's not that caloric it's like 500 cows really yeah like it's like it's a lot of the items they're like they're pretty small and i thought they were gonna be massive it's a completely reasonable amount of yeah i i um i mean yeah the doritos locos tacos is like that's a great example of you know um

this this like unholy you know science food yeah the the thing that they they do that though if you like where the taco shell is doritos yeah yeah but that what are you saying about that that's great no no but like if i if you show that to like a pilgrim a group of pilgrims they would like tie you to the stake and like throw stones at you and that's the thing is when i and when i when i say uh when i say believe the science that's what i'm talking about i'm talking about motherfucking mcgriddles that's where that's where like all of our like research funding should go to is that stuff yeah yeah when i have that's that's what i that's what i mean when i have the fucking the lawn sign yeah it's like yeah yeah oh yeah like believe what is it

like believe scientists yeah it's believe scientists that is not the phrase is that i've definitely seen believe signs for believe scientists sign google no it's i think it's trust the science i think you're thinking of believe women oh well oh wait no oh yeah there yeah science is real science is real no that was the sign though but like yeah we had a but believe the science is yeah it's that that sign says believe scientists yeah i guess suggests something else we moved out of our childhood home and a new family moved in and i went to chat i just wanted i was in i was in the neighborhood went to drive by it yeah and uh they had one of those signs we were like all right cool like cool people live here whatever scientists probably they had

completely let the whole yard was overgrown and they were like there was shit everywhere in the lawn and they had like put a giant ugly sauna in the back and i was like okay we got off on the wrong we got off on the right foot and then you immediately proved me wrong or like tampers with the impact of the yeah yeah yeah we they're giving they're giving scientists a bad name yeah exactly i don't know i mean yeah that's yeah i i would i would venture to say a lot of people that have that sign on there yeah that does not mean that they're a good person on an interpersonal level that's true i think that is the ultimate litmus test yeah i believe those people coexist most of the time like well they just they want you yeah look whatever i'm

not gonna get into all that all the oh yeah all virtue virtue signaling yeah yeah all i know is every every teacher that didn't that i did not get along with their subaru had a coexist sticker on the back so it's kind of like it's a good thing i do like but the people that are publicly displaying it are typically annoying i did oh my fucking god oh i rented it i was in washington state and i rented a sub nice subaru in what place do it washington washington state subaru and the pnw subaru yeah it's different it a subaru hits different when you're in the are you okay what you're just like no the way i'm getting comfy i'm getting comfy sorry sorry we don't have an ottoman for you is this crazy

one of those uh it was like ariana grande so how did you you guys met at a bernie yeah we didn't meet there no that's true we met before we had met before but that was the first time we hung yeah that was the first time where we like a whole day together broed down yeah how'd it go it was great we uh that we were fight the oligarchy fight the oligarchy we fought the oligarchy i was dying laughing at there's a clip from your podcast i saw after that talking about uh aoc barely legal oh yes she might run because she's just turning 35 the year of the next so that is the that's the minimum a mage and so i was like i i yeah it was he's like barely legal that would be a good that'd

be a good campaign slogan yeah that's i mean we i i do think she yeah she should probably run she married uh yeah oh no she has a boyfriend isn't like she can't win she can't win if you're not married like it like oh no one's everyone who everyone who's ever gotten elected has been married i feel like there was some no i think she i think they're married i wasn't like james buchanan a bachelor looking into this yeah yeah you're jamie you're right there was like one look up what's the one guy married she's engaged is is uh oh that is not what i would have expected him to look like at all no yeah what did you think he was gonna be like ginger not not white in ginger i didn't tell you that 6 11 is he's like he looks like a really solid role player

on the milwaukee bucks i think he's apparently he's really nice how do you know i'm just kidding um lauren look up if there's ever been a president that has that hasn't had i'm calling my shot right now james buchanan okay my guess is i think andrew jackson just look up president president without a wife i believe andrew jackson was a bachelor at one point oh well come on oh it's only buchanan pull up a picture of james buchanan oh he was a hunk oh he's uh he was from leicester pennsylvania do you think he was oh yeah you can't yeah you can't put that dog in a cage yeah oh come on yeah come on man you can't put a leash on that oh oh yeah yeah yeah nah you know his ass could not be locked down

yeah oh my god oh you know what i was thinking of is andrew jackson killed the guy same same same thing same idea i think the most i think a lot of speculation was that he's gay also apparently abraham lincoln was probably gay i that's why yeah the log cabin republican but this is what i i hate this i hate this shit because here's here's my thing if they didn't do anything if they didn't do anything gay he was apparently doing no i know but i'm saying now everyone everyone doing good everyone wants all of our all of our heroes can't be gay we gotta just keep you can't just make someone gay 200 years later he's there we're not we're not making we're not retconning your your um lore all i'm saying this is not canon all it's not canon that

abraham lincoln all i'm saying is like i don't want to die in 200 years and have my like great great great grandchildren be like you know he was probably gay he did a podcast with another man every twice a week it's like you've seen jfk's buddy lem billings deal lem billings pull up pull up lem billings jfk it was like his best friend in the world and they're so they were so clearly hooking up oh wow and oh yeah wait is that they're in love that guy the jfk i'm down to be like jfk was probably by but keep lincoln's name at it unless i know he had like a a guy that was like wait that photo that he was with all the time that photo is crazy there's one of jfk looking yeah go down there lauren he's looking through his butt wait oh he's looking yeah okay well

Well, you two would take a photo like that. Yeah, that's the thing. We'll put a picture right here. Willie and I were air-planning each other yesterday. Those were really cute. I've had, I don't want to quote, sus moments. If we're just talking about photography, it's like, yeah, you could probably find some. Well, you could Photoshop anything.

That's true. I've never looked through your butt, though, is all I'm saying. It does bother me that, like, that is cute. Gay man's picture. Um, it, it does bother me that now with, um, AI and whatnot, that they, there's moments that are real that now people, uh, that like you, like there's the, the, um, that, you know, it's my favorite, the, the, um, gotta have them ribs, you know, are you familiar? Wait, can we, can you, is that like, is that an AI doll?

No, no, no, wait, no, can you pull up, can you, can you search Obama gotta have them ribs real quick please oh no because this is a real clip right literally is the like because who put that in the butter yeah wait this is gotta have them ribs oh yeah yeah yeah yeah and pork grind stew yeah another guy said but i tell you what you won't see me moving to no african jungle anytime soon or some goddamn desert somewhere sitting on a carpet with a bunch of arabs no sir he's reading a book and you you won't see me stop eating no ribs either gotta have them ribs and pussy too don't have to talk about no pussy so you know that that clip like i've i usually don't see it with like that much context it's usually just like

gotta have them ribs and pussy too right and then people like i've i've showed that to people years ago right and then now if you show it to somebody now they're like oh that's god that's ai is that ai yeah yeah we're gonna lose we're gonna lose some like hilarious moments in history because yeah because that i love i do love that so you've been showing that video to people every day at non-stop non-stop people that are not don't want my company people everywhere i go i walk into every businesses and i go hey look at this oh look at it's not ai that's funny i know everyone thinks so this is funny look at this i'm always doing that everywhere i every fucking building i go everywhere everywhere i go i go to i'm always walking into the store and trying to

make strangers watch um beetlejuice compilations on youtube what book was he what book was i believe it was the autobiography of malcolm x and malcolm x famously said gotta have well no he was and that and that was like him on the bus talking to a guy that was explaining why he can't be muslim oh oh so the other guy who's quoting another person by the way there's no look are you did you read it i know i haven't no but i i know i know so much lore about this video because obviously i'm not gonna if i'm showing it to every person i mean you're gonna you're gonna get some questions yeah all right guys we're here to talk about one of our new favorite partners dollar shave club guys

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this oh wait and they see the videos as we watch them yeah they see the videos yeah let's start an audio and then they're fucked i'm the creator of popular catchphrases such as why they do that who put that in a butter he's an ai dog and my favorite one of all i'm just a regular guy oh yeah please send that to me that's awesome that's that's how i felt um when you when you were like oh we gotta you gotta make a list of phrases i was like i felt like him i felt like i felt like is that an ai no you see you take out your notes after you just delete who put that in the butter who put that in the butter is good i mean this is damn well because that now it

it actually i guess it kind of works because now now people are now we are saying this yeah yeah maybe they just don't maybe that's how we should frame our clips it's like so here we're the actually the guys who created and then just say he's mystery human yeah who put that in the butter Wait, he has way more followers than I would have expected. No, but then if you hover over the posts, let's hover over the posts. Yeah, that's grim. Yeah, it's flopping crazy.

Wait, let me just... Brandon just left. No, I just needed to... I just reminded myself to delete something. What happened? Because I just posted a flop as real. And it's like... I just saw that

and then I started I was like, oh shit, I just posted something that, I just posted some dog shit Who watched this one? Yes, it's me, the meme guy the one with all those popular memes that everyone recognizes like, you call me watching anime

and don't make a fuss, get off the bus and who put that in the butter I appreciate that you all like those memes Sometimes you gotta play the hits Sometimes you gotta play the hits I just want to be a Rick or a Kai. I like the little thing he does at the end.

Oh, yeah, that's fun. I think that some people should get flagged and put away before something bad happens. It's like a bunch of bots. I guess. The comments? No, the followers. They're all making fun of him. I don't think anyone is on his side.

No, of course, of course. but i i don't think that like oh you think i think that video is popular yeah like for the wrong reason but that one had 6 000 everything else like i don't i don't think his followers are real yeah yeah you're probably right all this is yeah i mean there's no there's absolutely no way that's where electronic ant ends well what's this sonic oh that's like oh my god i don't like what's perry yeah let's see what perry's up it's come to my attention that some of you don't I believe that I'm the creator of Phineas and Ferb. Oh.

Then I explain this game. Oh, okay. So does that mean... Oh, so then he is like... So he didn't even come up with this at an AI talk. No, but he's doing like... I think he's three steps ahead of... He's like being...

He's not... Yeah, because this is... Like a character? Okay, what's the next thing? This is... He's not... Yeah, okay, watch... Click on video games.

What's the Peppa Pig thing? I'm the creator of Fortnite. I'm going to upload the latest Fortnite skin. What other skins should I put in the game? And don't worry. I'm just a regular guy. Okay, so it's like... He's doing...

I don't know. Let's just cut this part where we talk about... Actually, no. Keep it in. Look. And then play it twice. But I... The more I...

When I look into more of it... Right. I'm like, okay. I think he's pulling one. I don't think he is. Is that... No, this is not... does that piss you off no no but i don't i don't think that i think that he is doing something um

i think it's like it's ironic i don't i think there are guys that like are our dad's age that they were not meant to grow up like being able to put their thoughts out to everyone and then it became available and now they are able to just put is that an ai dog like you think he's been sitting on that saying for like a long time and finally that's got to be a relatively recent but who put that in the butter that's probably he's probably had that one popping around since the 80s 90s yeah maybe early 2000s maybe can i hit your vape what's it what is your what kind of what is it blue raz ice blue raz ice i was like that's crazy so i i was at a buddy's wedding and he came up to me and was like uh hey someone gave me a vape but i don't i don't want it do you want

this and so i took it but we were talking about this yesterday it feels like that feels like old folklore like if you accept a gift if you accept a gift from a groom on his wedding day you're like forever yeah yeah what's this it's on normal mode right now the screen does nothing i think it's to like watch clips yeah how do i watch boost mode this is there's subway surfers reprogramming surfers and quagmire it's quagmire whoa funny quagmire moments just like a slideshow of quagmire there's like a a fire goes off yeah isn't that awesome that is crazy it's too much high tech it's too much tech you know lauren was saying uh that she loves bozo dubbed over oh yeah she was talking about that earlier bozo dubbed over sketch it's the best it's it's the first thing i

ever read uh from the show like i i like it's the it's one of the only times where i've because i auditioned i auditioned off of that script off like bozo dubbed over and then like i got added to like the other one and then like the next season it was just like tim you know threw me a bone yeah um but uh yeah i i like i auditioned and it was uh it's like the hardest i've laughed yeah like reading like reading a uh like side was it it was all written out like the way yeah oh fuck i'm gonna jack off yeah oh this guy's gonna yeah this oh this guy's gonna jack oh yeah i hope i don't jack off i hope i don't jack off yeah all that i'm not even supposed to be here yeah that's in the script are the scripts like yeah because obviously part of it is like the

delivery for him is like so unique and i feel like all the characters like are this do this do you ever read one of the scripts and they just don't make any sense because you're like i can't see what he's oh like it's this well i don't like the dialogue on its own um yeah the ruben rabasa one it's like i can't imagine i can't imagine anybody else doing that yeah and then i can't imagine like that like writing that without knowing who was gonna that he was gonna yeah that it was ruben i just can't imagine because ruben wasn't like a guy before that right yeah he's i i regret not uh meeting him at the i remember when they did the premiere for season one like it was before i watched that sketch yeah yeah it like they didn't show that

sketch that like it's but he was there he was there and i didn't know who he was and now you know he's i mean yeah he's the man also by the way friendship is so good yeah i was gonna ask if you've yeah i watched it um yesterday the trailer looks insane i haven't i haven't checked it out it's really fucking streaming or is it just don't watch it in a movie theater like watch it in a movie theater like today it's really it's like you should watch it in like a movie theater with a lot of people and the guy who who wrote and directed it uh andrew de young he's really he's awesome i really like that guy it's like a good it's like an artfully directed yeah was it like I feel like Tim's characters are so like...

He wrote it for Tim. That's what I was going to say. Okay, got it, got it, got it. That makes sense. What else has that director done? Anything that... He did like... He's done a lot of like John Early, Kate Berlant stuff.

I actually think I'm going to maybe go tonight. You should. Yeah, he... Don't you have to pick up your Rover dog? Oh, yeah. Yeah, Lauren's got a side hustle. she gets dogs from Rover and then brings them to work so she's doubling

Really? She was like I have to leave at 2 today and we're like oh what's up? She's like I gotta go pick up my Rover dog That's like me being like I have to go to Starbucks Tomorrow I'm gonna bring him but That's a crazy side hustle I love dogs That's nice. It's great. Do you love this job?

I love this job and yeah two things can exist at the same time But today they're not. Today you're going home No I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna do my work just as excellent as i would if i were in the office do you produce the other uh emily binder does the almost friday pod okay and then just this oh yeah it is so nice to like that that's i you know we um our friend john john luna he's he's on the side when when me and uh jamel do do this stuff um and it's a

massive game changer because i i for years was um it was just me and my buddy jack like in it was audio only and we would just like be at his house but then you know when the clips come up then you're like then there's like a minute of you like oh let me find it on my yeah and you're like putting the phone to your having sorry to get too in the weeds on the behind the curtain of it all i think but we appreciate you know we appreciate what you do because you've been doing the shit a lot longer than we have a pod yeah podcasting yeah that was you were you were like um yeah you told me at bernie you were like i i listened to i listened to your podcast when i was a little boy i did i literally when i was 19 and i took that year off school and was working on the

campaign i was a patreon subscriber to his podcast you should get back on the patreon yeah okay do you have one now yeah for the new one yeah okay of course i don't yeah i need my i need money yeah i please get on just give me five dollars um i uh yeah no it is that is something where i that happened that i remember the first time it ever happened where i was at um it was like oh i was doing a show in boston and i was visiting the you know the harvard lampoon of course castle i've been yeah yeah it's an odd it's like a dungeon it's like a crazy place no it's a crazy yeah they they have a castle yeah and um yeah no it is it's crazy that like that like party hall they have is like it looks like the like hogwarts like dining room yeah and i walked in there and

it was like yeah immediately yeah some kid was like oh i've been listening to your podcast since i was in high school and then that was like the first time where i sort of felt i felt old yeah i mean i'm 32 it's that's not old that's pretty old it's yeah i know i'm just kidding but no but i guess i also just started young yeah so it's not you know yeah i don't feel crazy about like the sands of time but i feel like it's interesting yeah because you i feel like you were big on are big on twitter but i feel like that's like unless i'm just missing out on something like less of a way to get notoriety now yeah i don't think that yeah there's not twitter's not creating stars yeah like now it just kind of exists yeah it's like if you got in if you you get

grandfathered in i guess yeah into i don't yeah i mean it's like i it's not a uh it's not a top priority i i'd like to pop out every couple weeks or yeah every month and when you got like a show show them i still got it but um yeah i mean i was very off it for a long time but it is um yeah i i mean the way it works now it's just like ever since um you know i guess post elon yeah the way it like you're um once once people could pay to be verified and then um you know uh get paid for posts what that incentivizes is people just like posting like reactionary shit yeah where it's like people will like get on there and like say things they don't even mean right because they're like just like rage bait you ever see i like the ones that are like

do you see what i see and it's like a clip you're like i don't even know what oh yeah i mean it's a bunch of like yeah it's just a it's a lot of spam yeah you know then the replies to like do you see what i see or like do you see my giant ass on my only fans with like right oh yeah we're like i mean i remember when that started happening i watching that shift because you were into that you did a little bit of that right yeah i was like i gotta yeah i gotta let's like yeah let's get this let's get this money let's get this money on x and so i was posting a lot of like a lot of like racial stuff you know um but i know that the only fans comment stuff yeah i i remember like the first time i saw this where it was like some viral spongebob post and then um like some

kind of just you know spongebob he's always going viral that man stayed one thing one thing about spongebob is he gonna go viral he runs with that that crew he runs with it's just straight goofy there they there's a lot of clout in bikini bob yeah um squidward you see that guy dude a lot of money yeah he's funny he's kind of an asshole he looks funny he's kind of a dick i um oh but i saw like a reply like an only fans person that was like i used to touch myself to spongebob it's like that it's just shit like that where it'll be like um yeah the only fans bots it's crazy it's so many bots on there yeah patrick i all right he's funny mr crab is nuts i uh greedy i like him not a big twitter guy but i opened it up

a couple weeks ago and it was like person dying straight porn person dying one funny tweet and then like all political stuff and i was like straight porn what is that what i said yeah no i mean like straight like straight it was like straight you had to clarify it was like like straight up porn like straight up even nothing to the imagination yeah it was dude it was straight up gay that's what porn was and uh on your for you page dude it was literally like the first i did zero searching it was whatever you whatever you open twitter up oh but just like yeah like so you haven't trained it i'm never i don't think it's trainable anymore it's i think it is it is now for you for you is like i was watching straight porn last night

i mean look i'm not clarifying i don't like what i don't like what my for you page says about all chicks with their boobs out but it's not it's like it's not they're not out it's like let me see yeah see oh my god and then look and then this guy said twitter be wanting you to jack off so bad can you screenshot that so i can put it in the pod pardon screenshot that so i can put it in the oh yes um yeah actually that's very funny um this is it's literally it's just duolipa women with their boobs out it's literally just like duolipa sydney sweeney olivia rodrigo and then my friend felix so this is a joke that my friend felix did and then spongebob yeah did my my like instagram explorer page my reels i've got dialed down but if you open my

like instagram explorer page it's all like horny stuff yeah but i'm not liking any stuff like that on instagram so like if i open no it knows that you're looking at it are you saving it no okay interesting i don't know you're saving it a little i'm saving it a little bit will will put me on to um reddit reddit stuff where i put you on the concept of i wasn't on red i wasn't it no no whatever you're doing on reddit but i didn't know you could go private mode and will you on that and willie willie was like yeah man you got to go private on reddit or else they or else they know you can do private browsing so you can look at whatever you want but they can't tell because i don't want to wait who can't tell like if someone

went on your phone they couldn't for me it's for the okay oh it's for the algo like i when i scroll my reddit home page i don't want like oh you don't want it to be like fat dumpies yeah yeah yeah why not i need to get a second reddit for like in information yeah because i think that it shouldn't all be on the same be under one roof it's all like soft core soft core p yeah yeah it's a lot of survivor stuff what's the what's your favorite subreddit uh i don't know i feel like i do like ones for like shows i like like you're on like the andor one or like the survivor one i like to read what people think about the episodes after i watch an episode of like a show that's airing are you posting on there no no i have a few i only every

time i posted i've i've gotten some serious karma because i i'm very you know i post on the arrested development subreddit once i was top post it went gangbusters you got it went nuts you got reddit gold yeah i think you get i don't know reddit gold what is it what is it how does it work tip of the hat to you good sir reddit gold for you good sir you know okay have you seen arrested development yeah yeah you know the the like the best the plot line it's the best thing it's one best programs the best thing dude it's an awesome program uh you know the part where like buster was like a milford man he went to like milford academy and there was an article there was a headline in the newspaper in maine one time that was like milford man shot dead by police and i posted that

and i was like they milford how did they get him and all the comments were like he was neither seen nor heard from again milford for the people that don't know brandon is a very like rural town like random town i don't even know where he's from maine yeah wait where in wait i grew up outside of portland oh outside of portland yeah all right we are here to talk to you about one of our new favorite sponsors light strike light strike flips the script on what package alcohol is supposed to be combining coconut water sea salt and five percent abv for a shockingly smooth fizz free experience light strike is built for those who go hard but never tap out it's the only drink that makes refreshing actually mean something light strike currently has two flavors lemon lime and

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bases yeah they're like simulation towns yeah wait that's really that's air force bases yeah there's other kids there's like an elementary school that i would you know walk to and um um yeah it's like you have like one burger king yeah you have like the bx or the px and that's like the the on base like target well the commissary okay the grocery store and it's all you have a burger tax free yeah burger king really like i don't know what it is about the i don't know if this is still the case but this was the case in like the 90s and early 2000s is like burger king um in the military industrial complex i don't know they have a they have a it's like there's a burger king on every military base that's crazy yeah and because there's not

like there's mostly not not a lot of chains like on the base generally maybe they were like no one's eating our food in the real world i think but burger king was up burger king was definitely up at that time yeah i um but i do have a very vivid memory of like like fourth grade 9-11 right and then i i remember you had to show your military id like everywhere like the day after 9-11 like dude i'm just so i was like just getting some nuggets i don't want any trouble i have a very vivid memory of being at scott air force base in illinois and showing showing uh my military id at a burger king to get on september 12th yeah and it was because of 9-11 yeah they were like now we gotta yeah when 9-11 when 9-11 dropped um they i remember they we had

to leave our backpacks at school oh they were like everybody like leave your backpack i guess they had no idea what was going on because they're like i don't yeah they had no idea like the scope yeah it is funny yeah they don't know where the threats are coming from so they were like right it could be in the burgers yeah no it was probably a bunch of saudi pilots and a few kids on an air force base al-qaeda was talking to this fourth grader in at scott air force base yeah he never he never he he never wanted to know how to finish the equations yeah in math class he never wanted you had to start or finish them there was a place my parents live in uh winter park now i went to college in winter park as well and uh baldwin park is right next to it used to be like an old

military base and they turned it into like a town yeah and you're right it feels like because it's still this the layout so everything's perfect like there's yeah it's like you're pull up baldwin park florida it's like nuke town from cod where like nothing's like when you go into this place it's like all it's like perfectly arranged see how everything's like on like a grid yeah it's kind of cool you walk through it and it's like this utopia it's no that is that spooky maybe it's like you get like a weird feeling going in there yeah every grade before they made a oh baldwin park too well that's crazy that is crazy yeah i mean every every grade before uh like fifth grade was on an air force base that's crazy and then um oh i mean you could

go to high school i what's that middle school like off the base like that was yeah that was like oh because like hawaii and alabama have really bad um public schools and they didn't want me to it's forget well i ended up going i went to catholic school like in uh fifth grade sixth grade seventh grade and then eighth grade onwards regular public school outside of an air force base yeah yeah that's where i went to catholic middle school and then yeah high school nice it was wait where'd you go to catholic middle school charleston south carolina oh wow we got an air force base there yeah yeah hell yeah did you ever go no it's am i allowed i guess if you know somebody but it's not like you're not missing one i just want to look around yeah

like raise will was also born on 9-11 so they'd like see his id and be like wait actually that was my first birthday was the terrorist attack yeah wait you were born on september 11th 2000 2000 yeah wow crazy yeah it's pretty fucked can i go to the bathroom then we'll do the road map yeah i'm gonna go pee as well oh yeah brand city's got more thoughts about twitter you want to do it oh we are where's we're recording you're you're 27s man i'm i'm usually a turkish royals man uh tasty cigarette yes camel turkish royals it's like a it's it's delicious i would never describe a cigarette is delicious except for in the case of turkish royals um but no they were out the store by your

office um which is the address is that one we've said it before oh yeah what is it our address oh oh yeah 149 bay street oh you just said we i don't think we're supposed to but we said it and then a few people sent us some stuff oh that's like i think that 149 bay street yeah also there's two even if someone got here like you you were invited here today and you've gotten locked out twice yeah it's like it's hard it's not it's not easy to get in but it's an iron fortress mine mine is like it'd be a lot easier to um harm me yeah at where we record but that's also the address if you just search bad ladder on because they do shows there yeah it's very easy but i don't think anybody cares enough to i think that's a similar thing that we're with the only

that do care they care they care in like the best way where people are writing us like hand of course there's nothing in said incendiary oh what i did want to say yeah by the way is the vis-a-vis twitter stuff is the another another thing that happened that i think was a harbinger of bad things to come. And of course, I know what harbinger means. No, you're dropping some big words today

and I'm just acting like I know. Lauren's, what's the nice way to say this? Lauren's like really dumb. So like if you, like what would, what does that mean? You gotta think of a better joke.

That wasn't even worth it. Yeah, that was, apologize to Lauren. I'm sorry, Lauren. I don't know what the word means. Yeah, what does that word mean? Because he doesn't know either. A harbinger is sort of

an indicator of something to come. An indicator of something to come. yeah um the you know like a warning of what of what is about to okay uh it's it was when when twitter likes became private yeah when you're like when the likes became private it was also because like that was when twitter likes were public they should be public but the thing is now that they've been private for so long you can't make them public again yeah because then it's like oh you're saying yeah then everybody's skittish to like like so the sexy stuff wouldn't do it no because i wasn't i wasn't liking i if like you know there's like some kind of like

a bikini bikini babe gif busty or whatever yeah right like huge i would not like that when it was when twitter likes republic because at at the time it was like when i mean twitter like should be public who was the congressman that was ted cruz ted cruz is like he forgot to set up a private and he was just seeing yeah like in all sorts of uh there was some kind of yeah intern actually did it really was that the story that's like what he said yeah i just heard a crazy intern story the other day my i don't want to i won't say where but some agency here in los angeles the assistants do the eight they're like their boss's expenses pretty standard stuff whatever one like just came through like they it somehow slipped through the cracks one of the assistants there was putting

her groundlings uh courses on her boss's amex uh and they caught it and the person was like oh it was an honest mistake and they just believed them is that crazy oh wow yeah would you like if you were using like edges card to like go to the movie or i guess i guess go to like night school or something that would be crazy that's yeah yeah that is that's like go and get your mba on like she's probably ready to get energy drink i want one as well actually do you have a tropical do you have cold energy drinks i don't know if we have any that are cold do we i don't think so we got don't we dropped temperature once how do you not have lauren i'm sorry for calling you lauren used to have cold ones well i i was i was putting some in the fridge

but they've all been consumed i believe damn well he also you were calling yourself well you were calling yourself dumb first yeah and then you you chose to project i wanted to project he's always projecting yeah he chose to you know which he could have taken ownership he could have of just like not knowing that word yeah yeah that was my bad but he he chose to he chose to throw a woman under the bus right just something i would never do but yeah that's just because you have that sign in your yard that's not my style yeah will got arrested for throwing a woman under a bus one time no she should we roadmap it oh wait we didn't even hear your twitter that was it like the no just the likes yeah because my for you page would not look like that if likes were public so

if they made them it would just be like for the witty observation if they released them all if if they un-privated likes how many lie how many like oh my god oh mine for sure yeah it would be um yeah because if you were to look at my my likes it's like yeah now because i i had friends that would like look at i you know i the likes public likes have was it was very like functional and useful like i i had you know some of my my more cerebral friends i would look at i would look at their likes to become more informed right like okay this is what's happening in the world this is my you know oh my smart friend liked these tweets today um or you know you'd find funny things whatever yeah your horny friend yeah i had friends i had friends that would

look at my likes to see you know yeah i was curating some good stuff there and then now you'd be like this this is gooned out this guy's gooned out of his gourd and it's like i would look gooned out of my gourd yeah if you were to look at my public if if my if the likes became public again but it's not even like it's not porno it's like maxim type stuff yeah it's like maxim horny stuff my i think the only thing i would get in trouble for if my likes went public is i only follow a handful of accounts and one of my favorite accounts has kind of an unsavory name and so he's very funny what you can't i literally can't say it it's like a he has his first name on his twitter handle is is the is a gay slur okay oh f jackass yeah he's hilarious yeah yeah but

like you can't like sam and i will send them to each other but like we can't like this because it'll be like liked by this person like we can't repost it well you can now do you change it no i mean you it's like it'll be like it'll be like this post was liked by they don't do that anymore interesting yeah they don't do that anymore yeah i'm in i'm gonna go like some real horny shit now that i know that would you just mouth at me road map oh i'm gonna get good road map roadmap is where we tell them what we're gonna do this episode oh yes this is this we cut all this is just to warm you up yeah no this is where we get into our our segments yeah are you ready of course all right we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches

followed by our pitches then we're gonna do everyone's favorite segment brandon say it with us teach me something i didn't tell you about this one no you did he knew it that was kind of no what is it we just teach each other something so if you have like a fun fact or something and then we are gonna do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey i said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard there's rocks in my yard thank you is it rocks in your yard rocks in my yard uh and then we're gonna do we're playing the hits we always do this when i have a guest we're doing sayings that don't exist and then a new segment straight from the mind of our good friend will angus old-timey baseball

names that don't exist and we'll wrap up about this with rusty's song of the day all right so brendan the way this works uh you can be any judge any shark you want to be and we're going to hear a business pitch and you're going to say whether you would listener submitted will typically goes with randy jackson i'll be randy jack say your thing i'm gonna be randy johnson actually say your thing that he said oh he killed a bird i'm gonna be i'll be um harry mandel today oh and um wait okay oh this is the so you can pick like any celebrity judge oh any celebrity judge from any anything from any program yeah well the joke is that we think they're all from shark tank oh yeah okay so pretend like you think it's from

shark oh oh oh paul abdul from shark tank from shark yeah that's good lover stuff all right here we go what do we got lauren all right first pitch is from raya marie hi raya all right raya says what's up scary sporty and posh spice scary sporty oh wait no you three posh you're sporty scary sporty wait did you say scary yeah and that that was um which one dated david beckham posh posh so i'm that victoria victoria beckham yes and then scary was like not scary scary spice was one scary spices wasn't she like the only black one i believe and they made her scary scary spice learn that would be hilarious i'm pretty sure that that's what they did yeah oh that'll be she's also a celebrity judge yeah yeah there we go look at that okay yeah so they

were like the only black one is scary posh yes but scary spices fashionable rich and and scary the one black one is scary no it's not that's that is fucking crazy yeah okay raya says let's talk about the worst part of traffic not the honking not the delays but being stuck next to someone cute and having no way to connect that is where bump beat comes in where traffic sparks connection bump beat is the world's first social bluetooth platform that links nearby cars through music while you're crawling through traffic or sitting at a red light bumpy lets you sync playlists with the car next to you vibe to the same beat and discover new new music together in real time if your music tastes a line you'll get a match score and if the vibe's right you can

bump connect to safely and anonymously exchange info like social handles or a curated dating profile all hands-free fully secure and only active when your car is stopped with bumpy traffic isn't wasted time it's the start of something unexpected it's kind of it's kind of fun i don't like the i hate shit that's only when your car is stopped because if you're a passenger oh yeah you're in a passenger seat and it's like you can't connect to bluetooth until the car is stopped when we get in the uber when we get in the uber home i've had many an uber driver uh pull back over yeah they have to pull over i also this on on the same point of the stopped thing like rarely in rarely in traffic or you stop for more than a couple seconds so like if you really wanted

to connect with someone you would have to like fly up to them and like put it in park yeah hold up traffic until they like like you you could have done that with barney james yeah he saw barney james i saw barney james where uh on montana avenue and brentwood was he what was driving a white porsche oh sure i mean oh in brentwood you're gonna see a lot of stars or neighbors you're gonna see a lot of stars in Brentwood are you in do you live there yeah you know who I saw a lot of stars there oh there's a lot of actors where you're like I've seen that guy yeah couldn't like for example pull up a sexy lawyer how I met your mother I saw this guy at a coffee shop in Brentwood sexy lawyer just regular I saw Conan O'Brien and Keanu Reeves in

the same night in Brentwood in Brentwood were they not were they together no wait sorry Keanu in who conan o'brien within an hour of each other oh if you go to the country mart yeah yeah you're gonna see my coffee at the country mart and then after yeah so brad look up brad morris actor oh wait what it said his name on the thing she just oh yeah brad morris no brad morris how i met your mother i made your mother that there happened to be what so who is he played by joe manganella oh yeah he he's the host of of uh of uh deal yeah that's the funniest reality show he's a salt and pepper yeah hottie is he is he married to somebody yeah oh is he married to sophia vergara wow oh that makes sense i uh i fell asleep watching temptation island and you know it like starts a

new show like a recommended show if you know whatever i woke up on like the middle of episode one of deal or no deal island and like trying to like piece together what the fuck is happening that's such a funny like reality show like they just had to use the branding of something else yeah they or they were like all right we need an island show everything's taken why not just take the thing that's been taken for 40 years i want to do so i want to see survivor in the set of deal or no deal now that would be interesting all the briefcase models have to vote each other out write that down uh you're like in this you're in the studio but you don't have but you have to for they all have to live in this studio yeah in those like really uncomfortable

cocktail dresses yeah like weeks on end all right we're here to talk to you guys about my favorite underwear willie's favorite underwear and lauren's favorite underwear and america's favorite america's favorite underwear skims i'm happy to say i've been a skims guy even before we were sponsored by them here's why when i'm wearing my when i'm wearing you know sometimes i go brief sometimes i go boxer either way the number one problem that i would run and do is they scrunch up in my thing when i'm like moving about when i'm sitting around ever seen a rusty you guys ever seen a rusty rearrange i used to be i used to be going nuts before skims but when when i put my skims on whatever like length i pull them down to they stay there the whole time i wear their

pajama shorts they're also so comfy unbelievably comfortable yeah i go with the five inch like the boxer brief and then i have like the looser ones too the looser ones have a fly which i like but if i really want to just pack everything in there i i wear my uh boxer briefs the five inch cotton ones yep white yep uh which is a dangerous game for a guy like you braver men than me that mistake but i uh my favorite pair are the green the green ones okay i've got like a gray pair i actually kind of like the longer ones i do too they sit down here yeah it's fantastic truly cannot recommend them enough i have the i have the crew neck the matching sweatpants the pajamas the pajama shorts and the boxers if skims made a car i'd drive it i didn't know they were

for dudes and boy am i glad i found out yeah let me just say that so guys shop skims men's at skims.com and please let them know that we sent you after you place your order select podcasts in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows let's get back into the episode all right lauren should we hear another pitch yes let's do it thank you raya next pitch is from ryan schroeder oh and her name is raya yeah and she has a dating app idea and that's that's are you on raya what's that are you on raya i i'm not anymore uh i um i was how was i have a girlfriend that i met on raya fantastic um the act actress i got i got waitlisted yeah raya yeah we gotta get you in there i had like how do you get viral tiktoks and i was like i'm getting on raya yeah and so i

apply i was like 18 and then they like waitlisted me and then i don't know how to i think i don't think you can like redo it i don't know i i feel because they they started it's not the star studded app that people think is it like bouncers yeah there's like it's the most like and i can't imagine like what women are looking at on there like what what they're getting like they think like this is a my one-way ticket to like to like fucking yeah john mayer or whatever i but it's like it's all um you're gonna find a lot of like um like model dj creator yeah i mean alvarez types like you know i don't know who that is either jay alvarez he's so famous he's so hot some of your cultural pools today yeah but he was abusive to his ex so that guy who's he's a sexy lawyer

how i met your mother sexy lawyer google didn't know what you were talking about it did it did it took a second okay you don't remember this guy they were like an iconic couple but it came out that he was really abusive to her oh oh and alexis ran i saw her on abby kinney once so he posted oh yes of him and this girl not batgirl him and another girl having sex and he like warms up coconut lauren's fucking seen it i've seen it every woman has seen i hadn't seen it we were i was driving in the car with my girlfriend and she asked if i had seen it she showed it to me and it's sexy wait it's a sex tape it's a full sex tape and i got a boner and she made fun of me and literally every day is like remember when i showed you that jay alvarez video and you got a

boner was like yeah she watched you get like it was a it was porn she showed me porn and you were driving yeah there's nowhere to go i couldn't go anywhere to cool down we're in like gridlock traffic and then we were you wearing like shorts i was wearing i was wearing like yeah like loose like kind of like these like patagonia shorts and you these are you pitched a you pitched a tent i pitched a little i pitched a little a big tent oh yeah uh i pitched a completely perfect size average tent um and she will not let it go it's a hot he heats up coconut cream coconut oil and then like pours it all over her body and then they like go to town coconut cream coconut oil coconut oil coconut oil coconut cream but like it looks like he's having a coffee maker so it's like

scalding frothing it that's like what i was about to say or that's what when i saw it it was like that that's the only not sexy part is if you fully think about it like that was probably boiling hot and he like poured it on her private what the yeah what the i i saw him i saw him in venice one time and he he's just just as hot in person all right yeah but i think he sucks so is this hot guys podcast yeah i mean why are you what where'd you take me what was this hot guys podcast you guys just look at how was your day today good i went on some like hot guy podcast some kind of like what were the hot guys no they just like hot guy they're just like funny because we have done that like they're just like they're just like looking at honks yeah lauren google biggest hunk

craziest hunk google craziest hunk compilation what the hell is this oh you've never had a big hunk five hunk moments that restore my faith in humanity lauren big hunks are fucking gas you've never had a big oh that is a big hunk that was a nice piece of ass that's like yeah hate that sorry that's me guys do this for other that yeah women don't like this no no nobody lauren what do you like that guy comes up to you at a bar does that exact pose and he asks if you want to drink what are you saying i'm i'm not saying anything i'm just you wouldn't take the free drink no he's gonna put a roofie in it no you can walk you okay you know for he's a bartender he'll put um he's a bartender and he's asking with protein powder

can i get you a muscle milk vodka muscle milk all right anyway give us this other pitch um ryan schroeder how do we get so off how do we get so derailed raya and then we brought up raya god damn it raya okay she should have been named like nancy like yeah what's mom's name what were you gonna say like tits tinder never mind okay ryan schroeder what's good lamello liangelo and lonzo lamello i want to be lonzo you're liangelo ball yeah okay what is the big baller yeah yeah yeah what's the worst part about being a younger couple that has decided you're moving to a new city trying to figure out if you're gonna live together or not because it's that if you move to a new city

yeah you can't you should live in separate apartments but it feels like you should baby live together okay trying to find what's the question coffee spot what is the worst part about being a younger couple that has decided to move to a new city what is the weird what's the hardest part yeah i mean i guess yeah the the moving in yeah conversation well i guess you have to move in if you're moving to a new city then yeah i guess otherwise it's like do you go to church yeah fuck yeah getting into a good church getting into a good finding a good church home finding a good parish home final answer uh sorry finding a hot priest it's all the priests are saggy ryan says you don't have any couple friends to hang out with okay introducing hinge squared

it's where you and your partner make people that's for fucking people are gonna use it for sorry let me read it people it's where it's where you and your partner make a profile together where you're looking to meet new couple friends in the area would like to know that this is nothing sexual before rusty makes a comment about hey ryan i didn't say fucking shit it was came straight out of willie just new friends in a new city that you've both never lived in or know anyone the app will also host local events for couples that allow for a more human interaction than four people talking over an online chat the only downside is that in order to host the events the app would need to be a subscription-based model only one account required per couple

yeah people are gonna use no i'm we'll immediately split each other up and like oh my god they're gonna be breaking back yeah they're gonna be breaking each other's backs yeah there's just no way that app exists without people yeah honestly ryan i think that um my colleagues said it best it's gonna end in it's gonna end in a crazy backshot it's absolutely it's gonna it's it's going to be a gone sexual situation right right parentheses gone sexual all caps got parentheses gone sexual i think that yeah he even five gone he even accidentally added like the orgies part like a group event for couples one dollar might as well be a key one million dollar swingers people are gonna start people are gonna be stuck under tables and whatnot yes

Lodging into camera equipment On top of a grape Stepmoms Suck under tables When I was a waitress I waited on a table of 85 year old swingers once They told me They told you they were swingers

Yeah they did This was back when I was at home in Cleveland No they didn't Cleveland swingers Cleveland swingers sounds like a double A team they were yeah they were like are you guys minor league baseball guys yeah i'm a sea dogs fan willies of rumble ponies i have a lot of good river dogs when i lived in alabama montgomery biscuits yeah a lot of montgomery biscuits yeah i've been to montgomery i have some of that i

have some of the merch tacoma rainiers yep ever aqua socks ever heard of them um stop playing with me stop playing with at the at the sea dog game if there was a foul ball they'd play a huge glass shattering noise and then they'd go better call portland glass who was the one of the big sponsors and it's so it sounds really realistic and when i was a kid i just thought that it was real because it would go it would go like into the parking lot and then you just you're like like oh my god why is anyone parking at these games at the river dogs yeah that's another great clips foul ball oh yeah i love god damn i need to black out at a minor league oh my god it's the best dollar beer nights yeah we had those we had one of the uh the it was i think it was to

promote recycling but one of the mascots was like a trash can and they were like he was like trashy or like garbage or like they mailed it in like it wasn't how does that promote recycling like i think he's like a lovable trash can i don't know but he would he would go or he'd be like a nightmare so he wanted to recycle i don't like totally remember i do think he was like the villain because slugger slugger was like the good guy yeah i think in in i think now that i'm thinking about he was he was the bad guy um your pitches oh yeah do you have a pitch what oh yeah um here's what i'm thinking right hit me you've you know mama no the uh could we google mama just the um the breastfeeding pods at airports yeah m-a-m-a-v-a

oh yeah oh yeah so like you see this at the airport a lot right yeah it's like a private station for um wait click on it is there milk on the outside no it's a cloud on the inside it's clouds that would be crazy it's clouds but here's what i'm thinking right so we got we got these right you answer it's like get on the app or whatever you get in there and you breastfeed your baby right but here's the thing right sometimes it's late night flights right sometimes you're on the you're at the airport it's late it's after hours this is what i'm thinking y'all mom of a after dark and so and it's me and it's me and a bunch of milfs in there and we're hot boxing that yeah and i'm so it's mom of a after dark and it's it basically it's me

and a bunch of it's a bunch of milks and we're a hot boxing just you yeah or somebody else is only but it's me it's me and a bunch of the finest milks you ever seen in your life and we're hot boxing and we're hot boxing that shit mom of a after dark all right i like it i thought it was gonna be like a normal are you in i'm in i'm in your dog that sounds pretty cool i don't know how we're gonna make money off it but i like it yeah well i'm not it's not really it's not about money to me yeah it's sort of it's a lifestyle this is something of a passion project right right and yeah do you like it i like it i thought i was gonna say i think i thought momova after dark was gonna be jerking off everything's well no but everything's the same except it's like a red

light district scenario where it after dark it switches to clear red glass people who are like sick fucks can oh watch the perverts perverts yeah i mean it oh that is do people go in and jerk off on those things no no i don't even know you can't just definitively say that well no you don't how is what is the screening process actually i bet there's none i bet you i can just get the app and go in there yeah what the fuck how do i get a oh actually how does this work it's free i actually have free look mom of a app it's free yeah google can boys go into mom of a how do i dad breastfeed on the go i'm oh i'm about to i'm downloading that right now yeah mom of a x partners toddlers and friends can go in okay exactly oh so i can do this i can live

this yeah i can do this right now yeah i guess i can actually have a bunch of milfs they'll look and you gotta get weed in there if you came out of a mom of a alone like a clown guy five like badass like 50 year old women come out after you they're like oh my god like you can board right away brother brandon just in their hot box yeah that's my yeah that's my kind of my kind of lounge i love it i've got uh shoe maps yeah this is you know so you don't you know when you're like trying to get somewhere on foot and you don't want to have to like pull out your phone and keep checking it's just a little like led screen it's like a heads-up display yeah so you can look down and it tells you like turn right oh that's fantastic actually yeah oh like the shoes

it's on this it comes with the shoe yeah and it connects to your foot or connects your phone i feel like that would partner very well with birkenstocks because they have like a flat surface yeah imagine these things and it's like 100 feet take a left you got the berkey boys in the building yeah we're the berkey boys on the building i'm in the i'm i'm in my i'm in my berkeys off of perk off of her keys you're eating jerky yeah straight from turkey feeling quirky what's the worst part about what's the worst part about uh people's perceptions of you people's perceptions of me that they might be negative like what's the like me personally you're just in general like like what are my worst qualities what's the worst part about

people having perceptions about you oh is i guess the um your sense of self you're just sort of like they they only they only know what they hear right people are people are if they don't know you very well they're just going off of yeah you know what they've heard from other people introducing the rumor mill okay you can pay it to start floating just killer rumors about yourself so it'll be like like maybe a new guy will like come like a ups guy will come into your office and be like oh my god dude you're the guy that was giving that bad guy a wedgie out before work or something or like yeah you're the guy who i saw you stop a carjacking the other day and everyone will be like you know they'll they'll spread it out over a couple months but then how would they

know that you're um not using rumor no they don't know about it they don't know about it they don't know about it it's a secret app for it's a secret app for guys that need it carjacking yeah i like that since when is that a crime yeah i mean it's yeah car carjacking carjacking since when is that chronic crime uh-huh yeah i think that like totally like both both meetings are totally illegal no that car there was that guy that killed himself because oh the ultimate gooner the yeah the goon aside yeah that was a carjacking wait what he got caught you haven't seen he went to the drive-thru and he was jerking off and the video went viral on twitter and he killed himself this is like the first thing that happened this year yeah yeah it was like it's like the first

thing that we pull it up and he was like the ultimate gooner i think right look up ultimate just goon aside just look up goon aside why are you you guys are like bad at googling google ultimate gooner that's not what no it's if you just search goon aside yeah yeah bikini beans coffee bikini beans coffee go to videos yeah if you just search bikini beans i will say lauren's first google it led to a link that said hooters style coffee shop oh then maybe i fucked up yeah you guys aren't lying ew i don't like that i don't like that guys were coming out a goon me i don't like that i don't like that that's fucked this is it yeah yeah hit it yeah but the original video oh this isn't the real that's it i think

No, I think – oh, this is not the original video. Yeah, it is. Oh, he realizes she's recording and then – I don't know what – no, this is not the original video. It's like a fan edit. No, it's like a fan edit. What an awful – I mean – But that's rule number one is you can't – Draws off.

If you're carjacking, you got to be on the highway. You can't be – Carjacking. You can't be going through a drive-thru. Well, that was the issue is that he was going to – it was like – yeah, they have these bikini barista spots, and he was like a pervert that had done this before. And so she was filming him knowing that he was doing that, and then, yeah, he killed himself like right after. Vigil held for, quote, goon lord. Yeah, the – I don't like the vigil stuff.

i don't like because that that i because that was like a crime you know carjacking yeah yeah that was but you ever been to one of those coffee shops what's that you've ever been to one of those coffee drow woolly washington they have um yeah is it like the it's like halfway between seattle and like roach harbor i've been that's the i think i told you the story we went to this it was supposed to be a topless coffee shop i don't know my dad and his buddy were like they used to live in seattle and they were they were whispering in the front seat me and his son were in the back and we were like what are you guys talking about they're like they're we're right near there used to be like a topless coffee shop and we were like oh that's crazy and

we like convinced them to go through the drive-thru and we got there and and uh now they were just wearing bikinis we got wait is that what this is i didn't i don't yes you go to these coffee shops and they're like scantily oh then i don't make your coffee yeah then that's disgusting yeah like yeah i don't really feel bad that he wait no of course oh yeah i tell you sorry oh i thought that too i was like jesus yes no but also that would be just as gross if he was doing it in any other drive-thru no of course well of course but yeah yeah i don't that guy's a freak 100 of course yeah i'm not i'm anti no i know i just i just took me i didn't know i didn't understand that's what this place i don't know if you heard this though he did pass away so

maybe you don't want to speak ill of the dead yeah he was a freak yeah yeah i'm new headline pot uh podcast producer hates dead hates dead people that's gonna be your headline yeah um all right should we get into this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy i have this is one of my favorite guys i've ever seen this guy rocks is just like a funny guy from what i have a guy that rocks oh okay you have one lauren pause this immediately and i mean it immediately oh all right all right sorry okay so this is a guy named fletcher daniel yeah and uh and he has he has been making music and posting clips of it and he spams this one song it's like his magnum opus he's okay this is his thing and it doesn't really make sense he's trying to be very profound i actually don't hate the

thing but don't read the comment until don't read the comment until we listen to the video can i send this to you and then you'll yeah perfect yeah now the jester holds the scripture and his love has the key to the switcher for the stained glass is more than a picture is the prophet cut the ties and medusa held the lighter for my green-eyed scribe playwriter who fell asleep before she was tired just so time would pass her by okay pause it one so like i think that wasn't horrible oh pretty harmless pretty harmless stuff a guy putting his music out there yeah lauren go to the top comment and read this this guy took probably 20 minutes out of his day to comment

this it was the hardest i've laughed in a while i hope you understand that this isn't a hate comment i say this because i'm a hater not i i say this not because i'm a hater or i'm rage baiting your music is not good quality the instrumental is annoying and repetitive and though you think your lyrics all come together by the end of the song they do not i'm not missing something you just aren't a you just also aren't a good songwriter yet also the way you write songs mixed with the outfit you wear in every video makes it feel like you're trying to copy someone else i'm not saying change your personal style or your songwriting style though if you want to do some do the meandering confusing until it resolves in the end style like you or bob dylan i would

whatever he goes on for forever and it was it was you have to be like fucking bananas to care about this guy enough to leave that comment i will say i think this guy's in a similar position to me where if i open instagram one of his videos is popping up i now i now follow this guy it's because i liked the first two and it just knows wait is fletcher daniel like on what's i don't know anything about him it's no one yeah yeah yeah no one no one knows like how do you what this is just this is the kind of videos that get served to me i do follow him now but it's like originally i was like okay i don't love the song but i don't hate it whatever now i like genuinely have like convinced myself that i like the song just because i've heard it so many times yeah that comment is

fucking insane but he's taking that much time is i don't have the word for it but he is trying to do it's like uh it's like that like american it's like american pie where there's like this crazy yeah story whatever and he's trying to use those yeah you know what i mean like fletcher is trying to do something that i don't think he is equipped to do but i but i don't hate it at all yeah because well i i was listening and i i felt like i i was like what is i what is it sorry my reels were going crazy um can i show my guy that rock please you got one yeah did you send me tuberin i sent you his username and then i sent you like all right oh i love this have you seen this yeah i think that's will and i's profile pictures that have liked this already like i commented on it

All right, ready? Will, are you ready? Oh, one second. I'm sending you an Instagram reel. Okay, ready? Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad. I get it.

I'm Siyaya and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. oh he's got it i'm obsessed with him that reminds me of time i had to show it

he's so cute all right i got i sent you mine and britain all right i love this guy the milk family and the cream family have been feuding for over 100 years now but things are about to reach a fever pitch because little soy milk just gave little hon cream pink eye and now mr cream is irate he challenges the entire milk family to a game of cream ball and the way you lose cream ball is if you get creamed and it's going back and forth until mr milk corners mr cream and unloads a huge creamy barrage for the w and the cream family they're good sports so they've by the entire Milk family. I thought this was going to be really wholesome.

Another sausage party. It is. And Milk family accepts. And when they arrive there, the Cream family orders grilled cheese sandwiches for everybody. Things are going great. Until moments later.

He has a great voice. When Mr. and Mrs. Milk collapse in their rush to a local medical facility. But sadly, Mr. and Mrs. Milk expired. Now, we don't know if the Cream family poisoned the Milk family or, in a tragic twist of irony, the milk family is allergic to dairy.

What we do know is that little soy milk and little cocoa milk, they're crying their eyes out for mommy and daddy and that's when the cream family approaches them and gives them a little piece of advice. Don't cry over spilt milk

and that's the name of tonight's fit. Yup. And then... Yup. Oh my god. Don't cry over a spilt milk. I love this guy. I'm scared of him. No, go to his...

Really, I think that... I actually think this is awesome. Yeah, it is. Oh, the cream stuff wasn't... And then look. Oh! Whoa. Okay.

Never mind. This is not... Oh, yeah. So he made like a... Oh. You can catch that guy in a... I can believe there's people like this out there. Go to his...

Go to his profile. he's got like a fridge too like he has so he makes these like paints a jacket wait wait wait and tells the story yeah he's done this willie just willie just said that because he has a fridge that means he has his life together i said he has a life i didn't say he definitely doesn't have it no like go to the the one with like kind of well oh what's yeah thomas it's time for chapter two of my 2476 part series better know of food stuff in this series we're gonna taste touch and smell our way to a less hungry version of ourselves we're kicking things off with everyone's favorite tank engine choo choo thomas the tank engine and thomas has fallen on hard times lately he used to

deliver everything but now with amazon airplanes and even drones no one needs a tank engine anymore he's really good he's really good he has good intentions he's just he's a sweet guy i think i I don't think he does have good health. He chugs a thing of breast milk and moves boobs on it. He's a gooner. No, he's not. Yes, he is. He's going to fucking town on himself.

No, he's just like an interesting style of neurodivergent, and he's very creative. He's a bit of a gooner. And I like how—I'm very—I think he's an interesting guy. I want to get my hands on one of those Jags. Dude, he promised that they're $250. Did he? Yeah. He knows his worth.

I love Yeah so he Wait no no no It's the art of storytelling Go back If I If I never If I never heard from him again

I think it would be too soon He makes me really uncomfortable I really like him I know Oh sorry sorry I thought you were looking for I know where it is I'm gooning

Alright This is Some guy This is a guy who runs a Chick-fil-A Okay Okay These headsets are so funny They're like

Oh I'm sorry I forgot to store that order i think i forgot to change mags during a gunfight he's like a veteran let me hear that again sets are so funny they're like oh i'm sorry i forgot to store that order i think i forgot to change mags during a gunfight all of his this guy's videos are just he's him like being like oh like we didn't get your sandwich order right do you think that mattered when i was like on the battlefields of afghanistan that's like the flashbacks have you have you ever seen that australian uh like whatever parliament they have over there some guy's talking he's giving an

interview and he's like he's like i don't care if if uh if um two men get married whatever as far as i'm concerned uh a thousand blossoms bloom or whatever you're like oh this is really wholesome he's like but i'm not gonna spend a second on it because there's crocodiles everywhere like eating and they're like oh my god you like you almost had the right idea for a second yeah he got uh he he's clinging on to his war memories i guess yeah if you click on this guy's page i would love to see some of his other stuff it's like when your grandpa is like having fun and then realizes that that's like not his personality and like switches back yeah go to click on that top right one yeah you know some people come in and they don't know what they want for lunch they say

taro what should i get i need to get down to the recruiting office and join the big fight and help about your country don't worry about lunch amen that's like not selling sandwiches no he's in he's like it's uh this is like while he's on the job yes this is also like very like dual income anti what chick-fil-a is like all about like i feel like they definitely like veterans no i'm saying like their whole it doesn't it doesn't feel like the he's living up to the customer service that they have yeah yeah it's not it's not um my pleasure not polite was it my pleasure when i shot that man down my rack it was it was my pleasure it actually was yeah all right when i engaged in friendly fire i treat you teach me something teach me something teach

me something all right here ready i got a real simple one do you know that toronto is further south than milan italy really oh how crazy is that pull the map is further south google map that's shocking how'd you learn this online relative to what each other each other let me see look see we got oh i guess well i don't toronto's like right there and this is like right there and milan's like up in northern italy that's fascinating isn't that crazy i feel like i assume all of europe is like south same yeah more further south that's crazy yeah all right i'm gonna that's just a fun fact i had that's fun i'm gonna read you a list of vegetables and you guys are gonna try and tell me what they have in common you're never you're

never gonna guess oh never gonna guess it's like a connections game all right ready tomatoes eggplants potatoes veggie tails green bell peppers and sometimes cauliflower jambalaya fruit technically it's not ingredients for something it's they all have some they all have some chemical compound in them that you would never guess ratatouille neon it's not ingredient i don't guess it's not ingredient okay that does sound good jambalaya all of these nightshade family vegetables have uh minestrone small amounts of nicotine in them tomatoes eggplants potatoes green bell peppers and sometimes cauliflower have like trace amounts of nicotine so to put it in perspective you would have to eat like 20 pounds of eggplant to get

the same amount of nicotine as like a cigarette but they think that they have trace amounts of nicotine as like a um defense mechanism against pests because like that trace amount to them would be like us like smoking a hundred cigarettes and i'm just like i'm weaning myself off cigarettes but eating bell pepper eggplant that's actually insane yeah yeah you get two beers in me i will be ordering some bell pepper 20 pounds of eggplant um okay wait there's just like uh you got anything you'd like you know um yeah actually the um do you know about the shake shack but not shake shack i don't know about this do you know about the steak and shake owner no i love steak and shake same don't ruin it don't ruin it for me well have you seen they've

they've really been going like full like rfk maha oh really yeah have you not seen any yeah go to like the steak and shake uh twitter because i used to go to steak and shake a lot so good um as as like a kid i haven't gone it got worse in in recent years but um i would hang there in high school a lot yeah if you yes he eat more beef tallow yeah rfk their pin tweet is rfk walking into a steak and shake yeah so the owner of the new owner of steak and shake right is this guy named like sadar bilgari or something um yeah can we look at look up steak and shake owner this is like that's so odd yes so wow you know sardar sardar big larry right and like on steak and shake it's like i've seen it like there's one in san monica where it's like it's it's like

steak and shake by bilgari and he has this like kind of gaudy signature that he applies to the logo right like look up yeah bilgari uh logo and then and then also he um yeah see steak and shake by bilgari and it's see it's like it i hate i hate this i hate this and then search uh search maxim biglari no way so no way so these are like once great institutions um yeah and then go to images um yeah like see maxim biglari right he like puts his signature under the max logo he owns see he bought yeah he bought steak and shake and max and he bought maxim he bought maxim magazine they're under the same it's the same owner right and he uh yeah i mean it's the ultimate guy yeah i mean that's what i would do if i was rich it's like buy steak and chicken

yeah i but it's yeah it's uh and what he's done to maxim is like kind of a bummer what did he do he's just like well i remember one of the things he got there was a i think it comes up that new york post that new york post link this is um yeah alessandra ambrosio got uh pissed off because um he like took a photo with her and then um she thought it was just like a private yeah photo yeah uh but then that was like in the magazine it's like him posted up with like the model which is like who wants it's like it's very strange it's very strange like self-insert and he owns steak and shake yeah that is so like it's so weird to is maxim a full nude magazine no it's it's always been uh like it's like pg-13 it's like bikini like lingerie stuff

got it it was it sort of tasteful yeah it peaked in like the early 2000s interesting it was like you know what did he do to get the money to buy these two things i don't know i mean i don't know what his uh it's crazy i think it's got it's got to be some kind of weird money dirty money i don't know i yeah i don't know i can't um i didn't i i didn't realize we were doing this segment and so i didn't do my full that's my fault that's my fault um but it is interesting that's fascinating yeah it's like both owned by the same guy yeah that is immediately like he put his he puts his signature on it steak and shake by bill garr i hope he buys this company we have to put that under the almost oh yeah played it by bill garr yeah uh it's like it's god you know yes that's

very strange yeah uh all right should we do brandon you're the guest do you want to start with sayings that don't exist or old-timey baseball names that don't exist oh let's start with uh old-timey baseball all right already these are old-timey baseball names that don't exist sandstorm patenzo he ran so fast around the bases that a cloud of dust would go around him it made him very hard to tag uh i've got tommy two necks thompson first guy ever uh he has two necks that meet back up at the head oh oh i like that yeah so if he wanted to he could kind of uh you know When someone's throwing the ball, he can let it go through. Yeah.

I got Frank Picasso LaGrange because he would paint the corners. I love that. Never forgot to paint the corners. Oh, that's nice. Market Crash Michaels. He was born on Black Tuesday, the day the Great Depression started. Itchy the Scalpel O'Connor because he was surgical with his pitches. Oh, that's good.

The scalpel. i also had uh uh pete the wooden hammer orion okay i couldn't come up with an explanation so i just left him out i like that i got one more uh weird dad williams his dad was a total weirdo oh i thought i thought of me in the shadow i thought of i thought of one yeah okay so there's uh so um corky corky steroids okay corky steroids but he was he was he plays the that was just his government name yes total government name is it it it you know his government name right yeah is quirky steroids right which is evocative of a uh a corked bath and um using performance enhancing drugs of course using steroids right but he was actually

you know he was actually just naturally very gifted yeah he's a no nonsense he's actually in no nonsense all about the fundamentals like really good and a humble guy yeah and he was like a humble guy and he played clean but his government name that he was burdened with get this this is his government name is quirky steroids and yet this guy quirky steroids he had there was nothing there was nothing like that about the way he played the game yeah but But his government name is Corky Steroids. Yes, yes. And you think he would change it for his professional baseball career,

but he loved his parents too much. He's a purist. He didn't want to drag the good steroid name. He loved his mother and father too much to change his name. I respect the integrity. Yeah. All right, should we do some sayings? Let's do it.

These are more sayings that don't exist. Yes. Living out of the dryer. It's someone who's living their life in a lazy way. they haven't hung up their metaphorical clothes and got their stuff together they're just kind of in the dryer mildew yeah yeah yeah so it smells i remember the first time i started using a washer dryer myself i didn't know how to dry clothes properly right and then i got a complaint i got a complaint that um every time i went into this office i somebody tried to lay it

laid on me gently uh and they were like we've we've been getting complaints that you're um malodorous malodorous yes because i didn't have my clothes were wet and so they didn't like it like it's a weird smell when they don't dry completely jesus yeah are you going oh yeah um let's see here oh oh this is i have a couple but i'll start with i'll like work my way up yeah so i'll say we go we go like yeah how about don't put the don't put the pie before the the window so because you you're gonna need a window first right yeah if you're gonna we can't be talking about like an aromatic pie desserts yes exactly like the ones that like you float you float over and you're smelling the don't don't bake the pie before you built the window

don't bake the pie before you built the windows i love it yeah that's fantastic i've got uh slam in the door don't make it any more closed so you know don't make a dramatic ending to something uh when you can just do it the easy way and not burn that bridge maybe yep um you can pee in the pool but not into it everyone everyone does this does you know some naughty thing sometimes but if you if you do it in a private way you get away with it if you do it in public you open yourself up to criticism i like that a lot thank you yeah keep it to yourself keep it to yourself yeah oh one thing i use okay so this is i need to preface this yeah by saying that okay so this is something i used to say when i would like uh i first started i first started

driving okay when i first started driving and i would uh i would park in dc i was like i i didn't know how to parallel park for like a little bit and so i would kind of i would park really far away from a building okay it was if it was like less than one mile away yep i was like that's valid so i would i would drive up to i would get near uh i'd you know i would park like 0.9 away from a destination because you saw a spot yeah yeah and um you know because and i was afraid of parallel parking right so i'd park 0.9 yeah away from a spot and um i you know and then and i would like find a free parking spot yeah right and then i would i would turn to to my buddy and i was like i was a i was a virgin at the time of course and i would turn to my buddy

and he'd be like hey man i always said never pay for parking never pay for pussy you know but you can only say that if you're uh if you're a virgin yes if you're if you're a virgin yeah if you're not then that's weird then that's like that's not good you scary thing to say you shouldn't say that you shouldn't say that but if you're for any virgin listeners yeah it's a fun little plenty of them i think yeah yeah we curate that sort of sound off yeah sound off and sound off in the comments if you're a virgin let us know if you're a verge i've got uh you can't pour two pints at the same time oh oh that's good yeah yeah uh you know don't don't dilute the the impact you're able to have by trying to do a bunch of things at the same time you know do things in order do the best

you can yep a healthy dessert doesn't make up for an unhealthy dinner you can't fix a mistake you've made after unless you get to the root of the problem and solve that healthy dessert like that strawberries sure yeah like a like a mango sure low-fat ice cream fruits fruits low-fat ice cream yeah yeah you know nightshade vegetables have nicotine in them like eggplant this guy loves eating nicotine yeah he stays yeah yeah you love it i love it all right what do you got um if uh if you didn't go to if you didn't go to sausage college you best get off the grill and that's that's just that's about and that's something we've always said yeah i like that never build a window that opens from the outside all right there are some things that you don't

want people to have access to in your life so don't let them have access to it very nice insulate yourself in areas where it was that again never build a window that opens from the outside oh you know that opens from the outside yeah you don't want some guy coming in while you're sleeping i like that a lot eating the pie off the windowsill and he floated over from the oh no and then he ate the pie that you made yeah you're really excited to have it and it's an unhealthy dessert of course yeah it's all coming together some eggplants at the end yeah yeah uh all right let's wrap up with rusty's song of the day this is his song i think we're at 2000 2 000 playmates jamming out to this playlist now wow yeah oh i like that by the time this

episode comes out 5 000 i believe it i'm gonna be pissed uh i'm gonna go with he's gonna do something really dangerous i'm gonna go with a sailboat for sale yeah by uh jimmy buffett and toby keith i have been it's i found it three days ago and it's already made it into my on repeat eat play this because i get into the car and i queue it three three times that's the best feeling it's always the first three songs i listen to i listen to it back to back to back it's basically uh they these two guys are drinking and they traded boats yeah they had they had a handshake deal they traded a riverboat for a sailboat and they're both sitting on their new boats and they're talking about how they they missed their old boat uh and and he says don't don't

Make a handshake deal while sharing someone's bottle. I liked that a lot. That's a good line. So yeah, go jam out to that. Jimmy Buffett. Jimmy Buffett, man. And Toby Keith. I really like A Pirate Looks at 40.

Me too. I'm a Come Monday, Tin Cup Chalice, Pirate Looks at 40. I think those are my three favorite Jimmy Buffett songs. I gotta do some more work in that department. Dude, Jimmy Buffett, he gets a bad rap. People thought he makes dumb music. He makes awesome music. i guess because he well his name is just like licensed right yeah we're going we're going to

margaritaville at sea yeah we're going to we're going to the bahamas yeah bahamas on the jimmy buffett yeah we're gonna swim with pigs are they um is it are they like paying you to be there or something yes i think we can say that yeah oh wow but i that's crazy i i've been seeking this out for a while yeah it was a perfect they were basically like they our brand guy came back and was like they don't have you know your full rate whatever and i was like without fully showing my hand i want them to know that i would do it for nothing i was like yeah i was there was there was a part of me that was planning on paying for it yeah it's a it's a win-win all right thank you brandon yeah thank you so much uh you're on the internet yes instagram yeah yeah brandon jamelle

show yeah that's yeah get the podcast you should get up you should get back on the patreon all right i'm in you should get we'll we'll sign up i'll sign up we'll should get back on the patreon i'm back um but yeah i mean listen go you know check that out free you know listen for free and then and then if you like it enough get on the patreon yeah and uh i should be back on the road soon i think this comes out uh this comes out next week yeah this comes out well yeah just just go to instagram and then sort of go from there yeah i would say or x you could be that's still you know i don't really just yeah you can't see his likes yeah yeah do not look at his likes not yeah all right we love you guys have a great rest of your wednesday have a great weekend and

We'll see you bright and early on Monday. Bye. Thank you, Brandon. We'll see you. Where some see heroes and others see egos, Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes. A fad to some, the future of money to others. We see crypto's trillion-dollar swings.

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