Will & Rusty's Playdate - we auditioned for a reality dating show w/ nut

Episode Date: April 23, 2025

Video creator, comedian, and nectar host, Nut, joins Will and Rusty to talk about facing vulnerability, funerals for squirrels, and who would win in a fight against 100 Barbara Corcorans. They also dissect Will’s goal of getting married by the end of 2025, the logistics of traveling by Floo powder, and the enigma that is X Æ A-12. Plus, they read wild pitches from the Playmates and draft pickup lines and dating shows that don’t exist. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg FOLLOW NUT: https://www.instagram.com/nutstar/ WATCH NUT ON NECTAR: https://www.youtube.com/@lovecommanectar/ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: USE BETMGM BONUS CODE PLAYDATE AND GET YOUR $1500 FIRST BET OFFER TODAY https://promo.nj.betmgm.com/en/promo/geolocator?orh=promo.betmgm.com&wm=7123555 CONTROL BODY ODOR ANYWHERE WITH @SHOP.MANDO AND GET $5 OFF YOUR STARTER PACK (THAT’S OVER 40% OFF) WITH PROMO CODE PLAYDATE AT https://shopmando.com/ #MANDOPOD 00:00 Intro 04:37 Washers & Dryers 10:37 What Nut’s Listening To 13:30 nectarhouse 20:56 Dating 29:26 Roadmap 36:15 Pitch Submissions 51:36 Pitches 01:16:02 Teach Me Something 01:21:59 This Guy Rocks 01:27:15 Pickup Lines that Don’t Exist 01:30:13 Dating Shows that Don’t Exist 01:33:46 Rusty’s Song of the Week #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

we were outside in the and nuts like paying his parking meter and the guy behind him was like are you in that subaru he's like you're paying for the wrong meter right now so we backed it up into a different spot also yeah i drive a subaru because i care about the environment i respect that care about the lesbians dude that's what everyone said an unrepresented my sister's a lesbian my sister too they should hang out that would be well she lives in spain oh oh i'm going to say like a week wait i should meet your lesbian sister that'll be sick she she is dating a spanish pop star pop star is a big word she's in like you know the band yes okay not them they're like the the spanish version of heim okay and they make like lesbian

pop music nice love that jaime and my yes jaime yeah my sister was dating a lesbian pop star as well and my mom no way yeah my mom after we had tacos the other night went to his andre 3000 no they're not she's not like they're not super famous but it's a band called and my mom was uh she's a bit of a sweet tooth and so she went to get an ice cream cone after we had dinner and she said she was in line behind the whole band and like couldn't remember where she knew them from and then was like okay i used to wait where at the ice cream salt and straw i love their cream ice cream are we going lauren playdate episode 99 jj watt wayne gretzky uh was i supposed to you know anyone else's number 99 or a 99 year old no

isn't he like oh do i know a 99 year old dick van dyke nice oh i think he's 98 you're the first you're the first guest to ever get it on his first try thank you and the age especially very funny name it's such a funny name i met him one time you met him yeah when i was uh 14 my parents brought me on vacation to la and he was there he checked in and it was in the hotel i'm not even kidding he was in the hotel of our lobby and my dad was like holy shit that's dick the van and his name is really holding shit it's holding it together you know you're old when like the the google notes of when you google yourself is are you still alive yeah that's the oh yeah all right we have a very special guest today i would say

one of our bigger gets we have our good friend nut is that true of course it is of course man that can't be you guys are just like hogging me other than LeBron you're probably you looked LeBron on the video

yeah briefly yeah we did actually did he like call in no he was here he was right here he sat right where

you're sitting you're hogging me right now is that a term you're hogging me man quit hogging me we're hogging you Nut is a comedian

Nut is a host of many some of my favorite shows I don't know if Will's gotten to know him that's definitely not true I swear to God I watched

I watched all of nectar house i watched all of uh the like swiping ones that's my jam you're such a good guy there have you i've never seen any of them i respect that fantastic leave him why do you not believe me no i believe him i believe both of you if you knew if you if you knew me that it's right up my alley yes this is all he's uh obsessed with like temptation island right now i love temptation we do a we do a segment each episode where we pitch like a idea like a business idea i think he probably told you about this there's talk of this um he has twice pitched cousin island i want to make it like a month apart he pitched the same thing that's about like will they won't they

fuck their cousin no i feel like they would probably just do it it's no he's he's underselling this it's a hundred just smoking hot singles but here's the catch each person has one distant cousin in the mix how distant you want them to fuck yeah oh that is that even that's what i'm saying it's like it's not it's not well i wouldn't i don't think i would do it if i found out so they know each other you don't know until you hook up with them and if you hook up with them you're both off the island it's like the moment you like the moment you enter it's like damn it all the lights go red um i was i i my towel i got out of the dryer this morning i got a new towel out of the dryer this

morning just completely changing something yeah but i was pretty stoked about that like you know it was like it was like kind of warm still that's pretty cool smell of life's simplest exactly like popcorn isn't that like a sign of a stroke or something what are you talking about i smell google lauren google popcorn towel smell question mark lauren how's it going could you google popcorn towel smell please oh you want that specific well i think it means isn't there something that like you smell before you're dying of a stroke i have a question for you i was convinced oh certain medical oh you have been to wrong no i've been we're gonna lose will to binturong um i don't want to i don't want to put you on blast here willy were you doing anything

with the towel before you washed it no my buddy jake used it when he visited i think jake has binturongs jake is jacking off with popcorn yeah i think that's what he said he was popcorn jacking it oh no i just think that if your towel has a unique smell and ben was using it wait what Google what you smell when you're having a stroke. Is there a specific smell that you would smell? Burnt toast. Okay. All right.

I think that's pretty close to pop. You're in the clear. Careful, man. I think, did you put it on like a really high setting? Dryer? Yeah. I don't think it has that. It definitely has that.

It doesn't have, you have a one mode dryer? I put how long I want it to go for. And that's the only option you have? Yeah, I think so. How many options does your dryer have? Too many options. I get stuck there sometimes. Can I tell you about my idea for a dryer washer combo?

Is it just that? No. I think that already exists. The washer, once the washer's done, it just opens up the bottom and drops right into the dryer. I think that exists. They have one machine that is a washer and a dryer. But they're bad. They're not good.

You don't want it. Yeah, so you want the one that just drops in. So you just put it on top of the other one? Yeah, the washer's above the dryer. How tall is your house? 11. Mine are on top of each other already Okay fucking millionaire

Big house guy How tall is your washer I live in the tiniest The ceilings are right here Sorry I don't have space for Your ceilings are at your head Sorry I don't have a million dollars He has like a bald spot from like

Your head is constantly scraping Sorry I don't have warm towels every morning man We were That does sound really rich actually yeah well i like that in this scenario the richest thing you could do is stack them like i feel like that is that inherently is like a uh you're calling me impoverished now no i have mine stacked i'm just saying like millionaires don't have don't yeah another millionaire i forgot you guys co-hosted sorry my house isn't so wide i can afford to put them side by side you know

my house is very tall but very narrow nice it's like a pencil dick house yeah yeah that's sick it's all up flan and her roommate have a have a two-in-one where it's like the same machine and they realized that yeah they realized it doesn't have a lint trap and so they were like all right we need to figure out like where all this lint is going and there's no there's no like thing to clean it out so i like to picture that it just shoots out like like a tube on the other side of the house in their neighbor's apartment i just saw something two stacked washer and dryers so that when your roommate wants to go you can go to yeah exactly i like that a lot my dryer is in washer really loud and they're the way my house is set up again yeah they're

really far from my room but right next to both of my roommate's bedrooms so it's like it's it really feels like i'm like like dropping a grenade and walking out like because i always do it at night and i always forget and then i'm going to bed like oh i gotta move to the dryer just start the dryer walk away go to sleep calmly mine are in my backyard yeah really they're outside oh i used to have that rains it's rain free wash i guess yeah yeah but like in a bad way yeah why would the rain i felt like why was it electric you wouldn't like you wouldn't like cook oh i feel i mean yeah it's probably fine it's got a cord it's not just like the loose wires it's got like i wasn't saying it's gonna like explode i'm just saying like the there's like electronics on the

front yeah you know they're so smart you guys know so much about electronics and shit yeah we like i was willing rusty's podcast we talked about like washers and dryers for a while yeah what have you been up to just hanging out it's like doing cool shit yeah it's the coolest thing you done lately i did i washed some towels this morning i dried them they smell like popcorn like popcorn like more like popcorn than his fucking thing that's pretty cool that's my thing i really want to stay on this topic you know this is my last watch but you know it does like a like a really loud spin thing at the end and it kind of like is like shaking the whole house for us it's usually like three minutes and we were sitting on the couch and uh my roommate and i may have

gotten a little bit high okay and the things you're gonna ruin your life there i go bragging again you have a job you have people the spin cycle starts and it's for us it like shakes the whole apartment and so we're like sitting there we are watching temptation island and literally it went for the entire like episode like it just like kept spinning and after you don't it's something you don't notice until it's been going on for like 10 minutes yeah you're like this is a fucking nightmare i did also just realize we have been talking about washers and dryers for like 10 minutes yeah i don't know what the that's pretty sick that's a constant 10 minutes 10 minute wash i know so much about your internal clock is unparalleled man yeah i was listening to a

podcast that you were on like a couple years ago you said you listened to uh turn my swag on before every podcast did you do that for us i didn't do that this time i stopped doing that because one of the times it was not i didn't do a good job and then i was like i could just listen to other songs i like that song though it's a great song what song do you what did you listen on the way here um wait i did the the spotify dj x it's fucking you have this yeah i was listening to that we just demonetized our whole video oh sorry my fault no it's fine i also i was listening to this podcast about hitler nice oh but not in a not in a good like in a this is i like this way and like uh the opposite of that i was just it was just i was

listening to it sometimes when you're when you go down like a history rabbit hole you're like it's concerning like i feel bad about being interested in that period oh they're the most interesting there are a few things that i'm super interested in it was about him his like sex life though nice he had seven confirmed like like uh girlfriend or partners that are like in documents and stuff and in documents they were in doc sorry my fault they're like recorded girlfriends that they know about six of the seven committed suicide yeah i think uh crazy yeah i think you've got it you got to do some self-reflection after after the fourth one i'd be like well i know i meant the girls oh the girl they definitely had some self-reflection they were all this you

could cut this part out they were all like teenagers though oh anyways did they want to be in the relationships i doubt it the more i learned about that guy the less and less i like him i know so that was what i was listening to on the way here okay that's yeah same actually same kind of stuff no way yeah i wasn't that's cool i was listening to a song i think what's what song i was listening to turnpike troubadour's new album is that a guy it's a band every week he has a new band and i'm convinced they're all made up that doesn't sound real turnpike troubadour evan felker ever heard of him that's just a name that you made up it's a name that is a of a guy that sounds like a guy that you went to school with i didn't go i wish do you remember evan

felker and he's like throwing trash cans and shit every time i ask him what his weekend plans are he said he's he says he's going to a concert of a band that it's like his new favorite band and he asks he acts like we should all know who they are i don't act like you should all know who they are i just say them you're like dude come on future birds they've been my favorite band for hours now i like music man i like bands dude i was you know yeah you know the travis guy from from nectar house that you were oh the yeah he was i was watching an old video he what he's buff as shit yes it's like guys on the dating show i hosted okay his name's travis and he is an interesting character he was in an old i was watching an

old caleb presley video he i just recently found that and it was hilarious because it was not i was not expecting that because he i think left what he's barstool or was caleb yeah and so he posted some like like goodbye video of like his greatest hits yeah and it came on my thing and then just like randomly it was this guy who was on this dating show that i was and i was like wait what the fuck and he's like super like wholesome and this old video he's like yeah i'm i'm my goal is to fuck as many girls as possible i'm always fuck he was like it was a video about him about being like the fuck guy he's like the biggest fuck boy at ut got it it's sick it's what was what was that experience like and hosting your house yeah it was like funny it was the thing

where there's all so much like stronger than me every single guy and like most of the girls so it's like if stuff if the shit hits the fan like you wouldn't be able to corral them they all seem pretty nice though oh no yeah everyone's nice they also talk to each other what forgive my ignorance here what was nectar house okay so i you know nectar the channel no he doesn't watch you know like jubilee i've heard the name they they do like youtube videos i love their videos it's like swiping in real life okay yeah yeah yeah so i'm the host of the dating shows that they do got on their second channel nectar so it's like on youtube yeah and they're usually like big swiping in real life videos and stuff this one they we rented a house for three days

and it was like a little love island type thing oh that's kind of cool and it was six boys and six girls can we get on the next one they're casting it right now you should go you should i'll go like apply wait i want to go on all right you they you could like probably get on there or be in the running i'm not in you could get on casting well we should we should apply to go on it i would love to go on that'd be funny but you two at the same time yeah it'd be funny it'd be funny Well, they would definitely be, like, you guys would be set up to, like, go on dates. With each other? Probably.

So we just pick more podcasts. Yeah. Aw. Well, they had a brother and sister, so I guess there are, like, platonic stuff in there. Are you guys brother and sister? Mm-hmm. I could see that, honestly. Okay, I just thought of something from a long, long time ago.

Are you related to Maya Coet, by chance? Who? Maya Coet. I don't know who that is. She's from Chicago. My dad's from Chicago. Okay. But I don't think so.

what a crazy stab in the dark what made you think that I just like had a random memory of like a long time ago like seeing like one of your videos pop up and my sister was like oh I think my friend Maya's like related to him I don't it was just a random wait can I see a picture I don't know I can show you her is this like a famous person or just like no no no no my friend sister I just like thought of it uh I can I'll just show you after I can't let's do let's do I will say no though but your dad's from chicago he is maybe they know each other yeah maybe my dad's 70 where we're in chicago evanston i'm from olmette which is right next oh no way yeah all my cousins live there evanston maybe why do we know evanston northwest where you were born wait what i was born

in evanston what high school did you do oh no my dad went to evanston township yes yes we played them in soccer they're rivals rivals you might have played his dad in soccer did you guys know each other or in 74 he was class of 73 okay i was like a couple years after that for sure yeah yeah so one of my favorite things about about the nectar house was usually like when there's a like a host of one of those shows they like are they only pop in to do their thing and then they leave there were videos where like they're all partying at night and then it's like a top down thing and it's just not like hanging out on the couch no that was my thing i was like can i just be like in the background sitting by myself just like watch because they're all doing these like fun

things and i was just like sitting 20 feet away wait this is this is my also do you say your real name was cam yes or is that can we say that is that secret isn't no it's not a secret a couple guys peeping what are you doing i was just trying to show you have like a downloaded photo of her it's in her secret folder of my uh my colon is this like a prank are we no it's not a prank no it's not a prank it's just it's just a deep memory that i got of someone maybe saying they were related to you guys why are there so many guys poking their head in our window it's like a revolving door of like old man coaching coaches about to come out this is a prank show yeah i i'm just gonna show you later because it won't even pull up but was there ever

a worry that like like what happened if one of the girls on the show liked you because you were like you should have seen you were there seeing the extended cuts it was every single every single day every single minute every single day that's what happened if i went on there you should yeah we got to get this guy on this i i think both of you guys should should apply yes yeah but no it was very immediately that was not an issue so it was okay what's your love life going on what's going on where do i start where do i fucking start are you like uh you're like a hopeless romantic type of guy or are you like a different girl every minute no i'm like a numb to it all and devoid of

anything. So you can't express your emotions. You're too afraid to be vulnerable. Yeah, I get. I feel like I don't know. But you recently got into talking to girls. You did? You heard about it? I talked to, well, not really.

You did. You talked to a girl. I physically talked to a girl this weekend. Yeah, so working on that. I was just talking to my friend Garrett, who is a fan of you guys. He said you guys were sick. Oh, that's cool. Shout out G-Money Hell yeah

He was telling me When he's on dates With girls Sometimes He'll just get like Kind of nervous If the conversation stalls And he'll just

He'll be like You want to see how many Hot dogs I can fit in my mouth Maybe that's why They'll be like Not really And then he'll just Have like 14 hot dogs

Where does he go on dates To take the baseball game Yeah It was pretty sick Is he bringing them Or is that No like they're Eating food or something

They were at Dave and Buster's I would not want to see that That would give me The biggest ick He said they were at Dave and Buzzer's once. He was like, you want to see how fast I could eat this whole pizza by myself? Okay. And she was like, sure.

And then he just ate the whole pizza. That's awesome. It was pretty sick. Guys, as you all know, by now we've teamed up with BetMGM this season. We'll be using BetMGM lines to make all our picks, and we'll have special offers for our listeners each week. If you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code PLAYDAY, and you will get up to a $1,500 first bet offer

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Conditions apply. Visit scotiabank.com slash HISA to learn more. Scotia Bank. You're richer than you think. going on more dates i think you gotta just get on hinge hinge is the move i'm on it i've heard people say that don't ever match with anyone that i find that impossible to believe well you also don't see you remember he said he doesn't swipe he waits for people to like him and then he goes through those ones you gotta put yourself i don't even go through a lot of them you have to face

vulnerability yeah i know yes or maybe you just don't want to which is also fine what about that but it feels like you want to do you want a girl i don't want to force it though i don't like i don't like want a girlfriend you want a wife remember you said you wanted to get married this year yeah i'm gonna get this year yeah well i'm working on that yeah oh we still have a lot of months i feel like you're behind several years no for several years like probably you have several years i don't think i'm like in a rush like i don't like want to find a girlfriend really soon but you have to find a wife it has to be the right person you know i do want to get married this year though for sure okay oh we should arrange maybe like a green card i would love to green card marry

someone who needs it you see 90 day fiance no my cousin was on 90 no way yeah not as the person he was the son of the dad but we oh like your uncle yeah well like just like just distant cousin so i've never met the uncle but you met the cousin i've met the cousin and his mom but like they split up so i never met the dad and uh we were watching 90 day fiance and then the kid is just in the background and uh it didn't i think it was like a uh so your cousin that you met once was an extra in he was an extra he was like he was like in the back it was shocking imagine being yeah is that lucian is that his name yeah that's a cool name that's pretty badass he uh he was an interesting cat oh it's like the green card marriage dating show oh that's like that thing

well that's like what it is isn't it what am i thinking not if you say that right well no it's like a guy who meets like a russian girl online and she comes to america and they have like 90 days to get married got it that's the show i'm thinking of right i believe so what's the guy on 90 day fiance that doesn't have a neck oh big ed yeah can you go big ed but his girlfriend fucking hates him i mean he is like awful he became a joke because he has no neck but he was like awful oh he used to be deece wait can you look up a picture of him what happened to his neck over time yeah can you look up the picture of him he wore like a like a button-up shirt once uh big uh it was like too tight well he has no neck so it was like oh i thought you meant that

was the cause of no this makes me sad his stylist has got to be like dude no more turtle why would you button it up all the way they just call it turtle yeah because there's no neck what did you get so excited about before you were like oh i was saying we should we should like set will up we should arrange arrange girlfriend I don't have enough friends I would love to you don't have enough friends

well let's talk about let's like a real life dating profile right now yeah like in conversation what are your interests in

what would you present yourself as to a pool of women alright there's a pool we actually just the other day we tried to do like a

a role play at the bar of what we would say none of us knew like what we would say wait what here let's show them well not like there's a pool full of women

well no like pretend I don't love taking my shirt off You're making a dating profile right now? Or you probably have one. Like, what is your... It's a hinge. What's, like, your bio say? It's...

I actually have... I actually have to think about the washing machine into the dryer. Frog in bed. In there. Frog in bed? Frog in my bed. Don't you have that? I think it's his biggest fear, and I put frog in my bed.

Frog in bed. That's what he's... That's your biggest fear? I don't... It happened to me once, and it was fucking horrible. There was a frog in you? He doesn't take it seriously. you're afraid to be vulnerable

I'm afraid to be vulnerable and I mask it with humor last episode we tried I played the girl and Will tried to approach me at the bar I'm the hottest girl you've ever seen can we show them can we show them how it's done

I'll be the girl you approach me at the bar sure this is just pick up lines this is just another perverse way of making I don't mean to be rude but you are one of the bustiest women I've ever seen in my life. Lauren, would that work? How's it going?

My name is Will. I'm scared. Dude, nice to meet you. Thank you so much. I have been busty for years, and no one has said anything. For years? Years. How old are you?

14. Okay. I'm sorry. Oh, what? This is making it weird. How did I get in this bar? Oh, man. That was such a...

I don't know what to say. My name is Will. I'm 18. My name is Will from the podcast. well now i don't believe you why are there two of you all right so and that's what that's just casual role playing so i will just do that then yeah so think about something like that yeah that's not that do you have like hot guy pictures of you or are they like funny pictures they're like normal i think that's sick you got normal

ass picture yeah we gotta go one way or the other you gotta maybe maybe we take a bunch of will's getting in really good shape now that your abs are shown maybe we you have abs shown yeah i do not have abs he's got abs showing and his chest hair is coming in no way chest hair is coming you got one uh i got like seven or eight now i got i have no chest hair really yeah oh you have way more than me i i genuinely like i have like four like single four hairs that's pretty good too i got hair like other i'm 26 okay how old are you 24 you're 20 how old are you 23 what the fuck you're 24 it's like lord of the flies i'm the oldest person here yeah you guys are so much more professional than me i don't think so i think we're all matching our

each other's i'm hammered at right now wait okay it's 9 30 you asked him if you had any hot guy what is a hot guy photo and tail to you like i mean i would i see if a guy is posting a mirror selfie that is like immediately like i was gonna say as women you were oh what did you say no i don't do that good i would as women you probably know better yeah what is like what's the ideal photo like not that you speak for all women or whatever but it couldn't be crotch shot right there's no way it's crotch i think i mean i think just can you put naked photos on your hinge i can but i don't know i feel like you i feel like you have to make it look like you're not trying that's the key

what about the guy's holding up like a big fish that he caught what about two big fish but he wasn't trying to get them what about the fish

caught him I don't care about a fish maybe if he's holding a shark what if he's holding something that's technically a mammal but it lives in the sea

yeah it's a platypus what if he's holding up like a dead like a whale a dead dog or something I saw a squirrel I saw a dead squirrel

on the way in here same oh that's so sad someone covered it up with a little like blanket of cardboard oh good How did you know it was a dead squirrel then?

Because it had flies on it. I saw him yesterday. It was either sound asleep or dead. No, but did you watch the person go put the thing on them? No, I walked past a lifeless squirrel on the sidewalk. I understand. Unless he died and in his last grasp for air, he pulled up the covers. No, I'm trying to figure out how you knew there was cardboard on it.

Or how do you know it was him under the cardboard? Part of the squirrel was showing. Jack, by the light, I saw him yesterday. I thought you said it was covered up. It was there for two days. Yeah. I thought maybe you approached like a funeral. Like you saw him get covered up.

A funeral for, oh, squirrel funeral. Yeah. It's an idea. They're all in Texas. Yeah. Or something. Yes. In Texas, they have squirrels?

They're all in Texas. No way. They're all in, they're all in Texas. It's, it's like resting, I'm trying to come up with like a pun. Oh, acorn. You know who's a squirrel? Sandy Cheeks. Yes.

Yes. She's funny. She's all time, dude. I've never seen her. And off the show, she's like chill in real life, too. Is she really? I've heard, yeah. I've heard good things about that cast in general.

I think they meshed well. Oh, I've heard iffy things about Mr. Crack. Spongebob and Karen are married in real life. No way. Or the voice actors. Oh, what do you mean? The person who voices Spongebob and the person who voices Karen are married in real life. He speaks for himself.

Meow. all right should we road map it up road map road map all right you want to do our road map i don't know this is when we tell people what segments we're going to do today oh so you're just okay so we started a new podcast now this is sick yeah not squirrels not yeah i didn't even think of that people yeah do your mind goes so fast right is that that seems pretty fast actually i don't think that's that fast a mile i couldn't walk an hour whoa you're flying my car goes zero to 60 sometimes really and like a couple it takes a while at hershey park they have the storm runner they have a hershey park yeah and it went from

zero to 70 miles an hour in three seconds because they use magnetic whoa they had like up reverse magnets your mind is crazy they would flip over and the magnets would like push against each other and that's what makes oh that's what that's why that you know that japanese train that can go like mock one yeah that's like it's like never touching the rail it's hovering so you've you're vaping now i know i gotta vape today that's sick i know it felt and you want to let me hit it it felt weird that was you're such a good guy it uh i texted lauren like i gotta vape and she goes you made my day lauren lauren you're an alcoholic my mom listens no i'm not oh but if your mom wasn't listening are you an alcoholic yes i walked in on lauren doing chili willies

uh with buzz balls on her desk what's chili willy you've never done a chili willy have you done a chili willy that's i thought you is that something with you no this is a real thing you've never done chili willy no i've only done it once it's a mistake you only make once uh first first ever college party i was at i was trying to be cool one of the older guys was like yo we're all doing chili willies in the kitchen i was like i don't know what that is but i would like to make friends and so we went in and you snort vodka off the counter

and it just hurts. I don't even think it does. That's awful. It's awful. You better watch Lauren do that with buzz balls on her desk while she was editing.

That's sick. Wait, what college did you go to? I went to the Harvard of the South and Will went to the Harvard of Boston. You went to Harvard? I went to Boston College. My dad went to law school there.

At BC? Yes. Your dad's the man. He's, yeah. That guy gets cooler by the minute. Yeah, yeah. he said he saw a larry bird game there oh really yes that's pretty cool i don't know yeah at bc

or well no he might have just gone to a celtic he went to a celtic he's went to one celtics okay where did you grow up like where's i went i'm from phoenix i went to asu oh nice the harvard of tucson uh tempe yeah my cousin evan went goes there he's graduating Evan Willie went there? No. No. Evan Will? Wait, your name's Willie or Will?

Will Lee. Will Lee? Willie. Willie. Your last name's Lee? Will Lee. Wait, what's your last name? Denellen.

Do people know? Denellen? Yeah. That's a sick last name. It's kind of fun. It's like melon. It's like the melon. Will the melon.

It rhymes with the melon. That's sick. That's your wrestler name. The melon. The melon Denellen. Will the melon Denellen. You like a huge cannonball? Yeah.

All right. what's your last name god i love i loved that uh craft oh that's like mac and cheese but with two f's oh you guys didn't invent the cheese no my they changed their last name when they came to america they don't ever call you cc it's cc yeah why it's craft of the k yes fuck i went to i went to school with the kid who had the last name diesel and we were joking around that like his family invented diesel fuel and then he was like no they didn't no they did they didn't they did do it oh fuck that kid no he's like the nicest kid of course he's the nicest kid his grandpa invented diesel what do you mean like of course i would be so cool you can focus more time on

being a good guy if that's your only worry my grandpa invented unleaded and he is not doing well will unleaded whoa that would be sick that would be a cool name i'm will 87 my girlfriend 87 octane fuel can you change your name to like numbers you can do whatever you want no way yeah i must have a kid that's like x it's x ash archon 12 whoa well that's like shut up yeah it's like shut up bitch if his name was like the number nine i would think that was cool if it's nerd shit it's like shut up yeah it's like you want to know how old that kid is now or if they have photos yeah look how it's fucking spelled too it's like a letter that doesn't exist like the a and e oh they have three wait they have there are three kids with that name

i'm not your name shouldn't be like a fucking equation no that actually just made me mad i'm mad now you have to solve for x to like find it that's his kid oh he's cute he's not that cute He's kind of cute He looks like Macaulay Culkin No he doesn't You know Macaulay Culkin's married to Brenda Song Yeah and they're happily married Alright

We have a beautiful episode for you guys today We're going to hear your pitches Followed by our pitches Then we're going to do everyone's favorite segment Not say it with me Teach me something Followed by This guy rocks

This guy rocks This guy rocks today today and then we're gonna do we're gonna do pickup lines that don't exist followed by dating shows dating shows that don't don't exist lauren let's get oh and then we're gonna finish with my song of the week we have singing no i i made this playlist and we have like 500 playmates that have subscribed to it the playboy playmates now it's what we call our listeners oh and hey if you're missing out if you're missing the permitting division of the building department don't get too sad because for our 100th episode bonanza

my grandma watches that still what banana bonanza my grandma loved banana it was like a tv show oh really it's like a western from like the 40s or 50s my grandma maybe the 60s john wayne he i've heard of him yeah my grandma was obsessed with uh they whenever she cracked a banana the dogs would run into the kitchen and so she would every time a new person would come over she would show them it but then the banana no like that like the dogs would run look at this show them that like when she cracked it they would run in and then we were like you gotta you gotta limit it to like a couple times a week because like i don't know how much how many bananas are good for golden retrievers i think it's just like too much of it like if you had

like five bananas they're gonna start climbing trees i was oh she was eating really green bananas for it to be like crunching i feel like crunching crunching for it to be like cracking like that all right lauren let's hear a pitch all right so where are the sharks you get to pick any shark you want which oh wait i'm randy paula that's not a shark or oh we're doing different you can be any judge you want oh what's your name barb babs yeah or babs babs yeah it's funny last name a hot old lady and she is and she's a strong woman yes not really physically though probably she can i could beat her i could take her yeah i could take her okay how many how many barbara cochran's before you'd be like overwhelmed

oh my god what do you want like a hand in like a hand-to-hand combat situation i feel like i respectfully like 20 i think i could take unlimited as long as they're not like if they're coming one by one they're in we're in this how long in between but in between every time they come in every 15 seconds oh done 100 yeah i feel like i don't know i don't exercise really okay i'm not will will you know they're coming in every 15 seconds and every 12th one has a katana do i feel bad oh they have a sword one at one every one she's like older i feel like i could just go like that and she would drop it yeah i don't think i i don't think any amount of them could kill me if they come in 15 i would feel bad i would have to they

would have to give me a lot of money yeah who's paying me to do this this is pure survival you have to you have to i'd okay well then i'd like i don't care that if it's like the world is done i feel like i would just let it happen no no i don't want to kill unlimited barbara corcoran if she survives then shark tank is done because there's like a contractual and i needed to end so badly no no you need to keep going if so why am i killing her because all right she's hijacking all of them are in hockey the planes she's hijacking the planes all of the all of the barbara cochran's are in bike helmets but you have a hockey stick how shocked would you be if 9-11 happened again and one of the terrorists was barbara from shark tank

i mean i'd be ass it was just a ton of terrorists and then also barbara corcoran this is like they put up the list of the guys um i would really i would i would be mad here's a question and i respectfully because i want to give you guys the time to do your things if on same thing that happened on 9-11 happened again but on a different day would you call it like 5-12 or would you call it you almost got my birthday would you call oh what's your birthday 5-13 no way you got my birthday uh i don't know that's a good question or would you call it 9-11 too i think 9-11 runs 9-11 like rolls off the tongue better than 5 they picked a great you were born it is my birthday happy birthday thank you on that day the year before oh but

it's always funny to me it's the worst birthday because it's the only tragedy that is just like the date no everyone's talking about it on your birthday it's like every time it's like what's your birthday all the tweets are like this is the worst and you're like 25 yeah hell yeah did they do it because it's 9-1-1 like no no what was the significance of it was just a good day it was a really yeah the weather was it actually was you know what yeah you know what i think i actually a good day today you guys let's do it i don't know i mean i wasn't there so well i was alive but i wasn't you know it's crazy i was in new york with my family like four days before that really but i didn't see that i didn't know anything i wasn't invited well i was three

anyways we can do the show okay sorry i'm not in charge no i'm just off of this livy dunn drink i'm off that cotton candy isn't it good it tastes just like livy dunn's cotton candy she makes she makes the best cotton candy okay pitch submissions first one is from Jenny Plick oh wait real question real quick

so they're doing the same things that you told me to do yeah and you told them before also these are our listeners are there like a lot of them we just do two just generally are you guys doing good we get

we're doing pretty well How many do you think there are? We've probably gotten a thousand over the years. A thousand what? Submissions? More than that. There's a lot. It stresses me out.

But when you get chosen, it's special. And thank you guys all. Continue to send them in. I'm sorry I get overwhelmed by the messages. But that's okay. But it's okay. Lauren gets overwhelmed pretty easy. That's why she resorts to the bottle.

Gotcha. Yeah. Do you want to talk about it more? Maybe later. Okay. But thank you. okay jenny says hi bacon egg and cheese bacon egg oh wait you can be one don't be egg or cheese oh she's in all three of us yeah wait i'll be i'll be the bacon

oh you can be the bacon oh there's my pickup line are you you want to be the bacon because i want to bring you home i did what bring home the bake oh that's why they give you that's why if a girl if you said that to a girl at a crowded bar i think you would get she would be like what did you say mace are you the bacon because i want to bring you home what did you say like bring home the bacon it's so loud in here let's get out of here um she says what is the worst part about needing to use the bathroom or wanting to buy food in a crowded venue oh that's two that's two different uh yeah waiting in line okay well yeah the rushing the long lines especially for the gals my solution is the digital for the gal my solution is the digital line check into the app

slash booth at the venue and take a number ticket this ticket will be your place in line and you will get a text or a notification when your number is next i am about to shit my pants instead of aimlessly waiting in line and wasting 20 minutes for the bathroom at a concert or chickies and peets at the ballpark chickies and peets you can wait in your seat and miss way less this can also be useful at the bar with only one single stall bathroom or at disney waiting for a ride love you guys i'm shitting my pants at disneyland right now and i'm 14 numbers behind yeah i mean i that that makes absolutely no sense from a bathroom oh i forgot i i i pee too much and it's i don't decide when i pee i would shit in the bushes yeah i'm not waiting i would shit on in chicky and

peat when was the last time you pooped your pants poop my pants yeah it's been a long time can i wait sorry i i don't really want to say this on a podcast but i'll do it anyways i can cut it if you want huh no it's fine one time i was taking a shower yeah and i i farted a little bit yeah like a tiny pebble came out did you mash it down the drain no it was it was like a little rock i picked it up i put it in the toilet i'm sorry sorry what are you i'm sorry don't act like that's so disturbing i wouldn't think it's so disturbing i just wasn't it's funny well i don't do it it was one time if it makes you feel any better it's like a test route i famously had one winter break where i shit myself twice and my mom was very concerned over winter break yeah is it because

you miss your friends it's because you're so fucking scared of santa he's fucking terrified the idea of him is kind of weird yeah but you're breaking into my house and you know everything about me i don't want him in my house i don't know if he's real who what what if santa claus was accused of a crime that would suck that would be a really good docu-series though yeah the tmz presents pin down though yeah i mean you could probably get it wasn't real child labor what when did you find out he wasn't real what'd you say what do you mean what are you talking about santa santa what do you what do you mean are we breaking in the news yeah he's real he's real no but it was

probably in like fifth grade i'll never forget i found out because my aunt said i said something about believing in santa my aunt said don't even act like you still believe in santa i was like what she's like oh my god you do is she pretty my aunt yes yeah nice i was in the lunch line and I and his aunt and his aunt came out no this kid

don't even fib don't even don't even lie don't fib I'm Will's aunt I was in the lunch line and uh

I was talking about how excited I was for Santa to come and we were probably too old to still be believing this and this kid turned around

I was I think I was like 12 and the and the this kid Aiden Hubs turned around he goes you know he's not real right

just shatter all over classic Aiden move it's a bad name we were also in like six or seven fuck you Hubs we should probably we should probably his brother one time used to uh bite holes in the bus seats you know the bus

seats are made of like that gray leather yeah what's his name his brother's name uh we'll bleep it but over two on the names these parents and he uh he got caught biting holes in them so they his punishment was they parked the bus on the playground and he had to sit in the bus for the whole recess and watch everyone else play free time to chew more holes i think like i think it backfired we went fucking a whole while they left him unsupervised with like a buffet of leather oh my god man all right let's let's hear this next viral pitch all right next pitch thank you jenny next pitch is from clark o'neill he says hey dinkle donkle and lauren lauren Donkle

It's like You know people have stupid names for their grandparents We should start doing that for aunts and uncles You're going to love my donkle My donkle will What is the worst part about a road trip? The worst part about a road trip? Having to pee

Yeah peeing in the car Agreeing on music or a podcast to listen to Okay There's no fresh food there's nothing there's no like free one person can't drink yeah okay clark says the awkward part a few hours into the drive when you like the company and being in the car but you don't want to be physically driving the car introducing carpool this is an app that pairs with a device on the front of your car and allows you to hook yourself to the back of another car like

like a trailer the app works like a ride sharing service where you can enter the destination you are going and will show you people driving a similar place on the road with you at the same time you can then send them a request to attach the car pole to the trailer hitch or rear bumper and put the car neutral and boom you have the benefits of a driving service but still getting to enjoy the privacy of your own car feeling sleepy in the middle of your drive just share a pole with someone and take a power nap ready to ready to get driving in your own on your own or need to make a stop just end the ride on the app and the car pole unattach the car for you i'd be pissed if they they will like oh uh serial killers will drive me into their lair

oh i didn't think about that i hate getting but they put it into a lair i'm curious what the incentive is to accept a carpool you get money money eight dollars eight bucks yeah i like that i wish it didn't have like the other person didn't have to consent to it so you just like pull up behind someone like shoot this suction cup out i like the idea that like you could look behind like you're not paying as you look behind there's eight cars like carpools behind you one guy's car is trying to merge so hot yeah uh that's a great idea i like it i don't know i don't know i wasn't in this road trip so i have to tell the story retroactively but uh my buddy phil was driving to his like camp in the middle of maine there's no street lights the only light is coming

from your headlights and uh they're driving and out of nowhere his car turned off and the steering wheel locked and all the lights went down that happened to me the other day and so he like slams on the brakes but it's pitch black and they're on this like curvy back road man so they slam on the brakes and uh when they like got the car to turn back on they turned the headlights on there was a tree like four feet in front of them holy crazy yeah that's terrifying thank you phil all right should we pitch each other yeah can i go pee real quick sure i have to pee really really bad oh that's sick guys in the winter it is easy to hole up inside but in spring i'm going out more and staying out longer dude i was out literally all day on saturday i left my house at 8 a.m

and i did not get back until two in the morning and i was i'll say i was freaking stinky by the end of it i wish i had brought a few of these mando deodorant wipes with me because that might help me uh not make the ladies run away because my balls stink so willie do your balls stink tell me about a time that you needed mando the most the saturday night dude i was like i was out and about on the town but i'd been out literally all day in the sun and i was i was like i know my balls stink so i gotta go home because my balls stink right now guys a lot of people aren't talking about a lot of other podcasts aren't talking about this if your balls stink your nights are now shorter damn right you're doing less grinding you're doing less beer pong

you're doing less handstands because then it wafts out guys we have a special offer new customers get five dollars off a starter pack with our exclusive code and link use code playdate at shopmando.com that's s-h-o-p-m-a-n-d-o.com with code playdate for five dollars off a starter pack want to try america's number one whole body deodorant formula right now you can find them in walmart target and other retailers across the country and for the best deals go to shop mando.com mando starter pack is perfect for new customers it comes with a solid stick deodorant cream tube deodorant two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes and free shipping and as a special offer for our listeners new customers get five dollars off a starter pack with our

exclusive code that equates to over 40 off your starter pack use code plated at shop mando.com shop mando.com please support our show and tell them we sent you smell fresher stay drier and boost your confidence from head to toe with mando let's get back into the episode i don't know if i've already talked about this but i am starting a campaign to be the the only non-athlete in my college's uh hall of fame is mr rogers and i'm actively trying to because every every year it's like some random kid on the golf team and i want to be i want to how what's what do you define actively what are you doing what is your college is mr rogers what does that mean i'm just putting oh he no he's the only he's the only alumni that wasn't an athlete to my knowledge oh who's like

relevant that's in the hall of fame in our in our college is hall yeah i'm trying what what college you go to harvard to the south what is that what call rollins college that's not there's no way that's the harvard i've never heard of that before i haven't either it rhymes though That's kind of fun. My dad. It almost rhymes. Yeah. Yeah, that's fun.

All right. Who's ready for the greatest business pitch you've ever heard in your life? And I'm allowed to hit your vape one more time unless you're uncomfortable with that. What did you say? And I'm allowed to hit your vape. Oh, please. You're such a good guy. Please.

I'm trying to get in the BC Hall of Fame with... Who else went there? Matt Ryan. John Kerry. Doug Flutie. Matt Ryan. Amy Poehler. Did any famous criminals?

Oh, the Menendez brothers. They went to Boston College? No, they didn't. I thought one of them went to like Google it Like an Ivy League school It was an Ivy League school I don't know about that

Princeton I want to say Princeton You got Menendez One of them went to college You got Menendez Southern Illinois There's no way The other one went to Princeton

Well because he got kicked out Applied to Princeton No he went to Princeton One of them got expelled from Princeton Yeah he got kicked out of Princeton And then that's like right before they killed him There was a woman who went to ASU briefly mary k letourneau who famously had sex with her 12 year old student and then she went to jail

she got pregnant and when she got out of jail they got married oh wait that was that what they based that oh may december yes yeah yeah i was thinking the adam sandler one happy gilmore wait that was also based on what were you just saying it was they based those movies off of this one May, December. Oh, I haven't heard of that. ASU. It came out last year. We were in a meeting yesterday, and our boss was convinced that...

So he was referencing, like, golf movies, and he kept saying Billy Madison instead of Happy Gilmore, which is... It was awesome. There's no golf in Billy Madison. And it was a nightmare scenario for him because he was on Zoom and everyone else was in person, so we're all, like, snickering every time he's on Zoom, and he just keeps doing it. He was like, I don't know, man. And you do something like the greatest golf characters from golf movies.

Like, you know, Shooter McGavin, Billy Madison. Are there other golf, except for like Caddyshack, are there other golf movies? Yeah, there's plenty. Tin Cup, Bagger Vance. The golf movie guy. Bagger Vance is Will Smith and Matt Damon. They're just playing golf? Will Smith is a caddy named Bagger Vance.

It's about him? It's kind of about him and this guy named Juno, who he's played by Matt Damon you've seen yeah Matt Damon's a pregnant he's pregnant

and 17 or something you were a track star and he's 17 yeah is she she's or he's 17

in the movie what I don't know I've never seen it I saw it a long time I've never seen most movies is there a jersey a real jersey

or is it just not to brag but or no no but like is that a team I don't know oh it's the Arizona Cardinals I don't like I didn't know

Pat Tillman he quit his NFL career to go fight the war after 9-11 and then he got killed by a friendly fire. Pat Tillman, he had a dream. He had a dream. He did the whole speech. He was in the civil rights movement. It's the team that I'm not really that big of a fan

because they're so bad. I'm not that invested in them. They were good when you were like 10. It's a cool enough jerk. It's not too busy. Otherwise it would be like I wouldn't, you know. yeah uh but they only it's like a historic one and the only player that they do is pat tillman and he wasn't like that good he was good he was like pretty good but he wasn't like a like a hall

of famer yeah he just left the team in the middle of his contract to join to like serve in the iraq war oh wow after 9 11 and then he it was like a big story and then he immediately got killed in friendly fire and then they lied about it for like two years and told the family he died

like as a war hero when really he just was like killed by someone some American guy wow accidentally but also maybe

on purpose it's super weird yeah it was a big scandal from the Iraq war yeah it's odd that's interesting

he had the high ground he was also hot as shit wait look at he's like the most Chad looking guy yeah and he was like a hippie too he wasn't like a

he looked he like wore like he like was like barefoot and like biked to practice looks like a chill ass guy he was super sick actually he was like yeah that's what that always confused me because he he was this like hippie guy but he was also extremely patriotic like he like yeah he they tried to they tried to like paint him as like a super like american war hero but he was like not like that at all he was like a huge hippie oh wow why would why did he do that he was just so like fired up he was like 9-11 happened he was like there are things bigger than football yeah we also like cry like you would cry during the national anthem like before this

that's a bit extreme yeah very patriotic guy legend cool story little jawline yeah that's that's oh wait go wait there's one right below it in the blue this fucking the jawline's crazy crazy big ass neck he has like why did all like like navy seals like all have that face like Dave like the block face yeah it's the neck

the neck is crazy alright who's ready for the greatest business pitch of all time hit me go what is

the worst part about having to poo the blood yeah I was gonna say the blood or the pain Lauren the screaming

it's like eight hours of your day just gone yeah being uncomfortable Like, not wanting to do it where you are, like, at the place you're at. Yeah, it, like, derails your whole day if you have something to do. Like, I'm constantly worried about, like, the plane overhead.

Airplane. Airplane. That was a movie. That was a movie. And I get a fish. Also, a great national tragedy. um i have gotten over this fear but when i was a kid i was constantly worried about getting somewhere and then having to poop once i got there that was me this when i got here it's

terrifying yeah and like whatever welcome to plan my poop uh it tells you when you're gonna have to poop next so you can plan your day around it uh it will tell you like if you're you'll scan your meal and it'll be like after you eat this you're gonna have to poop in 45 minutes or whatever you're like okay i just need to block out that time for pooping does the app have like a voice is it yes is it like a cool voice in your in your pocket it's like five four and you're like oh oh maybe that's some games too while you're pooping then yeah yeah poop get poop uh poop games fling the poop sling the poop stink the poop stink the poop stink the poop stink dude that was my favorite drinking game in college come dude pull up we're playing stink the poop um yeah i love that that

was good all right willie i've got wait i'm trying to remember what it was oh oh oh oh stink the poop it's stink the poop oh man mine's just stink it's just a stink the poop like four times no it's called um i remember what it is oh yes this is a very clever name the tv i monitor all right i want this connects to your tv and when your eyes close it pauses what you're watching sam every time you blink samsung does that they have an option that if you take your eyes off the screen it'll pause i don't like that yeah how would they know it like is like wait really she's texting one second she's tweeting google like she's stealing your she's texting her investor this is the new business model google video pauses when you take your eyes off it

because i fall asleep during things almost every night sleep timer no i was texting page because i wanted before i forgot i wanted to ask if we're getting a new rug in here no but i don't want the sleep timer because i wanted to pause exactly when i stopped watching this is definitely it was the first thing it was the first link nope that's the third link there you read it yeah did you guys watch the new black i don't think it exists i watched a little bit of the of the uh who's the guy that plays aaron paul i watched a little bit of aaron paul one paul's one of them yeah oh i didn't watch that one it's kind of spooky though he's on meth no and there's a bad computer and he's doing meth and he cooks it with his high school teacher wait i feel like we

were moving past that this tv does not yeah this definitely does not exist well what does this say then that says r slash it's r slash crazy ideas no this is not he's like dude it was right there click on it yeah r slash crazy maybe it's not maybe it's not a tv but someone comment what i'm thinking of it's like they're a samsung phone does it or something but but sorry continue i feel like you could just pause it no but he falls asleep like you gotta get on that sleep timer wave every time i get in bed to watch tv i put a 30 minute sleep timer on no but it's not like i'm not like going to bed and i want to make sure the tv turns off because it'd be on all night it's like i'll like start dozing off and then i'll like uh and then i get up and go to bed but then i don't

remember exactly like where in the oh but here's a question when do you sleep with the thing playing no no it's in my i sleep in my bed in a separate room but i always like i'm watching it and then a lot of times i'll start to doze off and then i kind of catch myself and just go to bed but i then when i go back to catch that episode i'm like i don't remember exactly where i started dozing off Gotcha. So I end up re-watching a bunch of shit that I'd already seen. What do you wear when you sleep? Do you wear, like, what pajamas?

I wear sweatpants and a Casey Musgraves tour sweater. Every night? Most nights. Do you watch it every day? No. You gotta start sleeping nakey. Just the Casey Musgraves shirt. I have all my windows open, so it kind of gets cold if I'm nakey.

You could just close the window. I like the air. I do windows open naked all the way under the covers. Yeah, I do Casey Musgraves. rub my feet together so yeah that's just what i've been doing right now i i wrote no yeah for sure it's from the deeper well tour i got this i thought i got a cool sweater at her show and then it's just fully for women it's like cropped and uh is that what you wear when you sleep yeah it's like a cropped sweater camo sweater yeah it's kind of slutty this is slutty yeah it's

i watch tv with my roommate in it too yeah it's really soft though that's sick you shame the way I don't want to picture it. I already was. Well, I got these killer abs. Yeah. Yeah, you got to show them off. Wearing a shirt with no... Even when I'm getting undressed,

I will make sure there's never a point where I'm wearing just a shirt. In the same way, I'll make sure I'm never wearing just a sock. Oh, I'd sweat pants on. You know what I mean? If you're a man and you're wearing just a t-shirt and nothing else,

it's very feminine. That's true. Winnie the Pooh. Dude, I almost won trivia last night. We got the last question wrong. What was your team name? What was the question? Turbo team.

you're the turbo team i heard about you you guys do great work it was that it was named the last five grammy winners for best new artist all right let's see if i could do it it was oh that's hard no one got order or one team got it the whole bar in order billy eilish no not in order uh yeah sabrina carpenter no chapel roan chapel roan is good it was chapel roan chapel roan's right It was Victoria Monet Victoria Monet Yeah Victoria Monet

Olivia Rodrigo Billie Eilish No Billie Eilish and Sabrina Carpenter Megan Thee Stallion Megan Thee Stallion is right Yeah it was Megan Thee Stallion Billie Eilish Not Billie Eilish

Oh not Billie Okay Megan Thee Stallion Chapel Roan Yes Victoria Monet He said one of them too Olivia Rodrigo Olivia Rodrigo

And then there's just one more From this most recent one Oh uh No I think it was the oldest one Who won the most recent one Was it the It's like jazz is that a person she does no she was like jazz oh i think you're i don't i had never heard of

this person uh i know who it is oh uh can i don't don't say it don't say it don't say it she's jazz she's very jazzy she's like smaller but it's like like like uh sabrina carpenter no no like she doesn't have that many listeners but she's like a jazz music they told me not to wait i feel like i know who it is i would be shocked i know who is i don't remember is she asian i don't i literally don't i heard i just heard the name last night and i'd never heard wait can you say it yeah it's like say something say look up 2021 i know who it is i don't know her name okay look up 2022 maybe 2020 no that was megan stallion 2020 yeah samara joy oh yeah i've never heard of her right samara did chapel win the most recent one yeah i think so okay that makes sense scott scott was

positive it was doji no she won best rap album yeah i fucking love doji she's so sick and then we put obsessed with her steve lacey i like felt like a decent guess yeah hell yeah but all right you have a pitch nut oh yeah okay wait hello sharks hi hi shark i'm also sure yeah oh okay my pitch is one cigarette they should sell one cigarette that would be so dope if you could just buy one because i don't want to buy a whole pack of cigarettes because it's like seven dollars for eight dollars it's like sorry i'm not a millionaire right but also it's too many cigarettes i would like one cigarette right single and they sell those sometimes but it's not allowed it's like illegal yeah oh so because big tobacco they don't want yeah they don't want it's like with music

how one song they start selling one song and the profits and music went down by like 80 percent oh because like if you sold 10 million albums before that's 10 times 10 million but if there's one big song now the song is 99 cents times 10 million it's like 90 percent that makes sense they should sell one cigarette and they could upcharge for it too i feel like i would pay two for a cigarette. They could put it in like a little canister like a

Yeah. Yeah. That was my business pitch. I like that a lot. I'm looking for $50 million for like 10%. Smoke comes out

and it like raises up slowly. It's like when I'm having sex with girls. Come on. Whoop. Smoke comes out. Whoop.

All right. Should we do I like that. I'm in. I'm in as well. Should we do everyone's favorite segment Teach Me

Teach Me Something. Have you guys ever heard about the bullet that hit twice you ever heard this story hit twice like i've hit twice before come on all right i don't need a bullet but i hit it to set the scene it is the 1890s henry zieglund just broke up with his girlfriend devastated she took her own life her brother enraged blamed henry and tried to kill him he shot at henry who somehow survived the bullet barely missed him and lodged in a nearby tree behind him the brother thinking he succeeded

turned the gun on himself so now the brother and the sister are dead but henry is still alive fast forward 20 years henry is clearing that very tree that the bullet lodged in with dynamite the explosion sends the old bullet flying out of the tree which hits and kills him meaning the bullet that was supposed to kill him 20 years ago finally finished the job. That's actually really funny. Isn't that crazy? You're so dumb for doing that. Why did you have to blow it up with dynamite?

Can you Google Henry Ziegland? Couldn't you just get an axe? Yeah, but I think dynamite was all the rage. He just had access to dynamite? Dude, it was easy. Okay, but also the dynamite... Would you say the dynamite killed him?

No, no, the bullet flew out of the tree when he blew up the tree with dynamite and hit and killed him it says it says in honeygrove texas there's no record of henry ziegel and skeptics say the story is probably pure legend probably not though no i was there yeah it's interesting this happens like every other episode where i say something that's just not true where do you get i just don't understand where you get all these these stories read it i read it crazy it happened he still just lived at this place where someone tried to happen in his house i would you could move well the story of henry's leagueland was oh old spirituals.com

says it's a hoax i forgot they're fucking the new cnn get out of here fuck out of here it's an awesome story it is a good story i like that story um i was gonna say do you know there are lizards that can breathe underwater they have like a fish eels no they uh what i'm mad that my story wasn't true i mean you gotta vet these things or i don't care if you do actually i still like that story i don't care that it's not true yeah it is true it is true it did one website said it's a hoax old spiritual and the other one too i feel like someone just shot him 20 years later and they were like no tree it was a tree did the tree shot him anyway the uh the tree shot him i can't believe he got away with it you could get away with murder so easily oh my god they were

shocking how easy you just yeah that was crazy anyway the lizards they uh they have these like little like parts on their like snout that will expand and like capture the air before they go in so it's like a little scuba tank i got something go underwater that expands what's that i don't Like a penis? Yeah. Yeah, so then the air comes in slowly while they're underwater. So they can be underwater for a long time. Oh, that's so cool.

Look up. Pull that up. What? Every time I look over. You're on your phone. What are you doing? I'm listening. What did you think he said?

Google what you think he said. What did I say? Google what I said. His snout. Google it. The snout that extends or something. Just Google it. My question is, it's the middle of the workday.

Who are you texting? I'm not texting anyone. What were you doing in front of him? I'm checking in. No, it's not boys. That would be crazy. I'm checking in. Lizard in the water with snout.

That's fine. With snout that extends. Are you co-ed texting? Boys and girls? It actually kind of worked. Go to images, though. See? You don't know what happened.

You just remember a couple keywords. Look at this guy. That's crazy. That's what it looks like? Yeah, and then he gets... Well, I don't like that. You don't like it? I like it.

I'm sorry. Oh, no, no, no. Not in like a... Oh, pop it. Pop it. Yeah, that would be fun to pop. Is it like, it's like Dr. Pimple Popper. Oh, I used to love that shit.

Is that so serious? Oh, yeah. Yeah, but now it's like a huge, disgusting sit, like, respectfully. Yeah. And it's like, she was popping pimples, like, six months ago. Now it's like. Yeah, now they have, like, they, like, hit it with, like, a skewer. Yeah.

You know, they went a little, they jumped the shark. I'm out. That's, yeah. Yes. That's fucking crazy. I didn't know that, actually. Yeah. All right.

Wait, what's that lizard with big ass hands? oh that's a komodo dragon ew that's kind of that's a water monitor i don't like that one time i saw a komodo dragon it was in a plexiglass cage and it lunged itself at the glass of me really yeah it's like a harry potter was that like it was at like one of those like orlando parks where you might walk through like disney world no no like i think it was like in the universal realm universal studios yeah oh okay big universal guy yes they only have like five roller coasters though universal that's not true no they got plenty six they have six well i just feel like there's way less they okay so like the big ones yeah there's like yeah there's

like five or six like big scary ones but like they got haggards they got mummy they got simpsons they got spider-man they got bart simpson dude the harry potter shit there is like the cool harry potter ride the new one was the most fun thing i've ever been on in my life harry potter world you can travel by flu powder you say this all what does that mean i feel like you can travel by he's been saying this i feel like you can't stop and and what does that mean yeah i don't know what that means i'm gonna be honest i'm not a harry potter guy like what does that mean practically you can travel by flu powder what is that what is that yes universal studios still uses flu powder in the wizarding world yeah what is that what does that mean yeah i'm not saying

you're lying i just want to know what you walk in one thing and then the flu powder happens and you walk out what is the flu powder what is that oh you haven't seen harry potter no i have not seen harry potter they throw this thing down and it like evaporates you and then you transport to another uh oh so they it's like a ton of smoke and then you're somewhere else so they like change the scenery around you well no it's how you get around the can you feel the ground shifting to a different spot teleport i don't know the technology that they're using that's what i'm asking no i just said i don't know i don't know but i know that they do have you considered that it might be magic well this is the we talked about this last time we were joking that they might have

invented teleportation and the only use right now is universal universal studio that would be so funny that would be awesome uh i'm so excited it came out it comes out in may and blue powder the new one no the new harry potter world it's like it's like the size of the current universal park so they're making it more whole new harry potter world it was already there what else could they add to it uh this one's like uh i think they use like the they're pulling stuff from uh fantastic piece i think they added slytherin what's fantastic piece did you you're gonna love my buddy i got a fantastic piece come on um he he did it it was him well we go every we go because i do thanksgiving in florida and so we go to universal every year with my cousins and that's

where uh hogwarts is in florida or tampa florida in orlando orlando florida they had that would be so sick if that was in the books in the movies like it's just in orlando florida and they my cousins have the the executive gold pass or whatever so you can skip the line and the look on people's faces when you've read haggard wrote haggard's like five times before they've written She rode, your cousin rode Hagrid five times. It was all, Thanksgiving at my house, riding Hagrid sounds painful. Not to get gross on here. I don't know.

You can get as gross as you want. How tall is Hagrid? Seven, nine, probably. So immediate thought. We're going up tall. No, no, sorry. Eight, eight, six. I'm going to go nine, ten.

He should, why was he doing all the whiz or something? Eight, six, let's go. Let's go. Yeah, that's crazy. They should, first, first thing should have been, he should have been playing basketball. what was he doing like finding kids in their houses and stealing basketball this is so funny he looks sick in that picture yeah that's the coolest pose in the book he's 11 in the book he's 11 harry's five five all right yeah he's big as hell tiny arms for a big body also

well maybe that's why i didn't play guy in it was just a normal actor on like stilts yeah how of that he was on stilt give him bigger arms in the first couple ones they use like an animatronic face so like if you like are watching one or two if hagrid's in the background he's just like really yeah oh i was gonna say though uh this is where i was like not to be gross his dick and balls huge gotta be huge right yes but or big like comparatively but it could still look small on his body because his body is so big. I mean, he would split me in half. I think it's safe to

say. Yeah, that was the old energy. Have you ever seen the original Jabba the Hutt? Does he also have like a huge dick and balls? Yeah. No, look at like original Jabba the Hutt. Original Jabba the Hutt. Yeah.

It's just that guy. Which one then? Oh, it's just a guy? I would feel so bad. no it's like the fourth one I'm looking right there right above you

no no right above yes yes yes yes that's it yeah it was just a guy oh that's him yeah I would feel like

that I would feel offended yeah yep they cast me as Jabba the Hutt whenever there's a fat kid in a movie I always feel bad that the casting call

was like bring your fattest kid and then you got the role yeah I also think it's crazy that he like went back and like retrofitted this movie wait so 20

when it first came out it was a guy yeah and then so when people saw it in theaters it was just some guy and then they redid it yeah like they digitally made him big like that and and then they redid it again once is that true better yeah and then george lucas is like like a stickler about it so he like erased any like you it's pretty much impossible to find the original footage that's crazy yeah uh oh my god yeah if i'm that actor i'd be so mad yeah he's not even like that gross no it's just a guy yeah not do you ever teach me something oh like kind of it depends i will because i didn't plan that okay but i respect you your show and your please but uh okay how you guys are like golf guys right i golf willie golf or like the like lures events i just

watched the tiger woods documentary yeah have you guys seen that yeah okay so then i won't talk about that i haven't seen it are you just saying that i haven't seen it because i could talk about that or i could talk about adolf hitler hitler do the hitler one yeah okay i was listening to this podcast well it was mostly about like the thought i had i was having a like a conversation with my roommates and they were saying it's weird that hitler didn't have like a ton of kids yeah because you would think like in the elon musk or nick cannon way like you're obsessed with your bloodline yeah and he seemed like the type of guy who would have like 12 kids how many did he have like he had zero kids he never had a kid there's like a like a hoax or lore that he had

one like out of wedlock secret kid but i think it was debunked wait didn't he he didn't have he had no kids didn't he have like children though that he like oh Hitler Youth no no no didn't he have like

a family no he he married a woman near the end of his life yeah that's it and that she had kids or something no they never had

he never had kids I thought there were like kids with him in the bunker no there's a lot of speculation about no there's a lot of speculation about

his sex life because it was so weird yeah given the type of person he was that he would seems like he would

have kids and stuff yeah but there's like rumors with some evidence that he had like a fucked up penis and balls like he had a micro dick and one ball and there's some scientific evidence to like prove that but it's not some people think it's not true but either way he was like what now would be like an incel kind of yeah he was like an elliot roger type guy yeah so he was just not fucking really that much until later when he became like powerful yeah but uh the reason he didn't have like kids and stuff so

i was just wondering like what is his bloodline like that i believe that lauren you can google this but i believe anyone like the hitlers made a pact that they weren't gonna have kids this is my this is mine oh oh oh i thought you were asking the question oh no no you're but i respect you i would see this is what the issue was i was trying to come up with something but you're you like know the stuff so now i'm embarrassed i gotta do lizards he doesn't know shit about lizards i didn't know that okay you didn't know that i'm sorry but yeah anyways he had a nephew and that was the only like like family like the person carrying the hitler name his nephew's name was bill hitler which is so fun that's just like a funny name yeah and then he tried to like benefit

from his uncle being like powerful so he moved to germany but he like couldn't get a good job like you wouldn't get him like big jobs in government or anything so then he just went to america and he joined the u.s military fighting against the nazis yeah and they would be like what's your name he was like bill hitler and they were like no it's not that's not that's not funny but he was just like hitler's nephew that's crazy and then he changed his last name and he had four kids three of them are still alive and they live in long island new york and they're just like three the oldest one's 70 wow and they're just like hitler's like great nephews and they're the last people in the bloodline but they changed the last name it's yeah it's like a hyphenate it's

like uh i want to say hughes no houston changed like one letter it's like we're the hotlers yeah they changed it to hiller and then everyone was like we we can still tell and then they changed it to like houston alexander or something like that wow it was houston didn't they like they made a pact to not yeah people said that they were like we can't have kids we have to kill the bloodline yeah damn and they just live in long island they're like new york guys i guess that makes sense to not yeah you're kind of it's kind of sad though it's like i didn't do anything but like i don't want to keep i don't want to have any more hitlers yeah that's crazy i just love that is fascinating there's a guy named bill hitler that's such a funny name i like that he

oh because his grandpa wouldn't or his uncle wouldn't let him get like a cool job he was like All right, fuck you. I'll go to the other side. Wait, I have a question. Have you considered going by Bill? Maybe when I'm older. Have you always been Will? I was always Will, yeah.

From a young age, my parents were like Will. My family calls me Willie, and then I came here, and there's a Will and a Billy already, so I became Willie, kind of professionally. You could be Liam. We already have a Liam. We have a Liam. We have a Will, Liam, and a Billy. And then I came in, and I mean, Billy came in together.

I was like, all right, I'm going to be Willie, I guess, and he'll be Billy. because they have a will and a liam but we're all named william every single one of you three of us three of the people that's kind of crazy crew yeah wait is your real name rusty no what's your real name jack okay i was born john went by jack only like i only there were only like a handful of kids they called me rusty and when i like made a tiktok i made it rusty that's sick uh all right lauren pause this immediately and i mean immediately all right this is a medieval doctor and uh this is at some sort of renaissance fair and they are you know interviewing different people and this guy's gonna tell us uh what profession he would have if he lived in medieval

times a doctor and let's uh lauren let's let's see how he does definitely i'm leaning doctor for sure hello my name is matthew of salerno and i would have been a doctor coming out of northern italy and one of the things i would have been trained on is uroscopy all right the uroscopy flask is the symbol of the surgeon as much as the hat or the guard corp this uroscopy flask would be used by giving it to the patient for them to urinate in it and then you would look at color clarity you would sniff it you would feel how warm it is you would listen to see if there's any clinks the final step all right would be to taste the urine the taste in the urine is one of the more important steps because that gives you an idea of whether or not they have the sugar disease

sugar disease would lead to diabetes that's the gist but and i like to i like what i like about this guy is the renaissance fair is a time to you can literally be anything you want and in his dream world he is a uroscopy doctor who drinks people's pee I kind of I kind of love it and I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and say I think he's probably drinking people's pee in this

I was gonna say he is a pervert he's definitely a pervert is he a doctor in real life nope I don't want to speak for him but I would say just based off of this still frame almost certainly not I don't think health is necessarily on the top of his mind he's

a piss drinker and I like that instead of being a freaking weirdo he found a place where there he found a time era where that was allowed and then made that his personality yes I feel like this is probably the time where you could get away with drinking pee

the most like current day yeah yeah that's true find a community that doesn't judge you build like a network of people who are like this is the so why does he want to go back to I guess maybe in medieval times they did more i don't know much about well i think it's probably stinked more well there's also there's not a lot of there's not a lot of money in piss drinking in this true it might be probably like

only fans right oh that's true but i think back then you can make a killing all right will you got this guy rocks i do yeah this is mike or no this is i don't know skillet solid i don't even so he says he's got a talent that we all need to see nice all that he needed was a melon from me well i think that he might be crazy but it's piqued my curiosity so go ahead wow nice slice that was a good slice man i said oh man that's a nice slice he made a good slice man y'all go make your own good slices for some of those wonderful roadside melons i will um yeah i try and i try and uh defend my fellow whites as much as i can sometimes it is sometimes they they make it real tough how often do you defend your fellow my fellow whites um your f-dubs my

f-dubs i mean when stuff like this happens i try to make a good case for us but um i think that those i think there's something seriously wrong with both of those people no they're making content the only thing wrong with him is he's too good at sword so it was a good slice that's a good All right. That was pretty sick. Thank you. Did you get one of these? I saved a few.

Wait. Let me pull it up. You can airdrop it. I just saw this one this morning when I was getting ready. Call it a beat. Been over. Let me touch your jaws. Let me touch your booty.

Been over. Let me pass my tongue in your booty like a pit bull. Like a pit bull? Yeah. you're going to feel like a baby when I get through with you. Oh, yeah, make a nostalgia. You next.

You just got to bend over and open it up. Open your booty up. And I'm going to pass my tongue in your booty. I'm going to put some soda water in your booty. Oh, no. And I'm going to lick you like a pit bull. Oh, yeah, girl. He's really fixing it on the pit bull part.

It's one love. and them tomato you got them tomato you carrying them two tomato I want them nipples hot I think he's got a shot I didn't watch the whole video to be honest

I gotta I think he's got a shot alright Nut you were the guest so you get to pick would you like to start with pickup lines or dating shows that don't exist I had a lot of trouble with the pickup line so i'm going to do that first so it ends on a higher note i like that all right willie tee it up these are thinking these are pickup lines that don't exist or wait these are the

hottest pickup lines of 2025 i lost my testicles in a weed whacking accident so there's no chance i could get you pregnant i like that thank you that would work that's pretty good my idea is you run up to them at the bar kind of frantically and say listen we don't have long till the cops are here but there's something i've got to say kind of creates an aura of mystery mystery yes and um malice perhaps i like it oh that's just what else do you say whatever you want and then you say i love you oh and i want you to come to jail with me i oh my god i think i just got arrested oh for what he's been doing this for the past couple days oh my god this is so awkward timing but i think i just got all right no you got one i was uh not really but you could wait

you could you like calling a bomb threat yeah and then you know and then be like well i we can hang out somewhere else your apartment is bombed we have to get out we have to get we have to go back to my apartment it's the only place that's safe yeah i like that a lot thank you um i was thinking you could go up to a girl and say all right i'm gonna be honest i put something in your drink but now i feel bad can i buy you a new one oh that could work uh i've got i love your shoes can i try them on um all right so you know girls when they're at the bar sometimes they feel a little intimidated by the other women there and you have to you have to validate them that they're of course you know one of the one of the top players in the bar so you go i did the math

and i think you could beat every girl in here in a fight that's pretty good i like that are you luigi mangione the girl yeah this is what i would say to them because i want i'm hoping if i shoot my shot i could see you later healthcare oh yeah yeah that's pretty good that's um you guys can keep that one i this is anyone can use that lauren if you want to use that on like a guy too thank you yeah i have a bonus one that didn't make it in my drafts but uh i've been trying to picture what you smelled like all night but i couldn't wait any longer that would work that would get me hard all right should we do dating shows the day i just saw something oh you come in with a bag full of women's socks and you say please can i please have your socks or is one of these yours

oh yeah that's good that's great yeah i like that a lot uh all right these are dating shows that don't exist all right i've got the passive bachelor it's like the bachelor but the bachelor themselves has no say in it uh it's just all happening around them it's just competitions among the contestants and they're just like silently or they're actively rooting for people to win but they don't have any input oh i like that you know what i mean yeah yeah see how it shakes and they have to marry the that's pretty good okay uh close quarters 100 sexy steaming singles live below deck on an old cargo ship and it is cramped every time someone couples up they can get rid of five people off the ship so there's an incentive

to find your match and and free up some space oh that that's pretty good uh i got love off the spectrum they're just normal what are you trying to say they're just they're not they're off the spectrum they're just yeah and they're so autistic that they're off the spectrum yeah they're like off the spectrum okay yeah that's why i was wondering which way that goes you don't think people are normal will no i think they're normal yeah love off the spectrum all right hit me really uh i've got speed dating uh 100 or not 100 like 25 horny singles are put in a house and they're all given meth that would be sick yeah uh locked in for love okay they uh open all the cells to the men's and women's prison and the men and women get to mix with singles for the first time

and if they can get into a real healthy relationship they get time taken off their sentence wow i feel like your kid gets murdered yeah it goes to life in prison but they shorten it to like 10 years because he got a girlfriend he was locked in on love he was locked in on love man that would be yeah um okay wait temptation island but it's like your parents instead of like a couple it's like married adult like older people and their kids are the ones watching and their kid at the confessionals where they see people cheating it's their kids watching them that is horrifying and maybe worse than cousin island uh love in the trenches it's a dating show set in world war one style bunkers so not only are they battling uh lost relationships and

and all of the emotions of that but they're also battling trench foot and things like that i love it um wait what does it say you're so you're so vaped out right now yeah what the hell he doesn't even know what's happening tripping you're tripping okay love comes first yes uh it's a bunch of singles in a house and if you guys if they have sex with someone they either have to leave the island as a couple or break up uh so like they're you can't just have casual sex like you it has to it's higher stakes you have to wait until you're positive you would be comfortable leaving the island with that person okay uh okay the bachelor basically but he's like like a super scrawny like virgin guy yeah and all the women are uh bodybuilders

i like that a lot i like that a lot all right we're gonna wrap up with rusty song of the week of the day sorry rusty song of the week of the day this is the fifth song on the playlist if you haven't followed yet it's on spotify rusty songs of the day today's song is gypsy by fleetwood mac oh uh i've been jamming out to it lately and let me tell you it makes me feel real good so this is probably my favorite one i've added so far um i think by this by the time this one comes out there will be 500 of you falling if there aren't i will stop no i won't never stop don't let them control your dream i'm stoked about you guys jamming out to it so uh yeah share with your friends share with your friends nut is there anything you want to plug

uh plug nut you could follow me on instagram at nut star yes yes and watch watch all of nuts nectar shows they're fantastic uh and i had a lot of fun watching are you guys doing a season two of the house yeah there's talk of this so if you guys want willie or rusty or lauren on the show I you probably have no say in that but I I can let them know yeah fantastic I'm gonna be on it all right we love you guys have a great rest of your month uh Wednesday have a great rest of your week and we will see you bright and early on Monday after the weekend for episode 100 episode 100 Will and I are wearing suits and we're gonna drink a lot of I think we're getting tripled yeah That's going to be epic.

It's going to be viral, apparently. There we go. All right. We love you guys. Take it easy.