Will & Rusty's Playdate - we caught a fish that swims 80mph

Episode Date: January 22, 2025

The gang shares their favorite planets, breaks down the fastest animals, and dissects the latest Bigfoot sighting. Rusty almost got poisoned and Will saved an old woman from an escalator disaster. The boys wrap by drafting their favorite variations of Dry January and apps that could be the perfect replacement for TikTok. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP OUR NEW SHIRT: https://almostfriday.shop/collections/playdate-pod/products/building-dept-longsleeve HEAD TO http://www.drinktriple.com/playdate TO GET 10% OFF THE ORIGINAL HIGH SELTZER USING CODE: PLAYDATE. 0% HANGOVER, 100% SOCIAL.  VISIT www.dollarshaveclub.com/playdate AND USE PROMO CODE PLAYDATE FOR 20% OFF $20 OR MORE. ACCELERATOR AVAILABLE ON AMAZON. UPGRADE YOUR ENERGY HERE https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/FB06B38E-F0C2-479F-9DA5-FD4A1C852B07?channel=Playdate PICK UP SOUTHERN COMFORT WHISKEY FOR YOUR NEXT PREGAME OR WATCH PARTY. SOCO IS EASY GOING AND DOWNRIGHT DELICIOUS. https://www.southerncomfort.com/  00:00 Intro 02:19 Poison 11:53 Futurebirds 17:33 Mars 24:10 The TikTok Ban 31:19 Birds 39:45 Bigfoot Sighting 45:34 War 54:48 Revealing our Secrets 01:00:48 Roadmap 01:03:56 Pitch Submissions 01:09:37 Pitches 01:17:24 This Guy Rocks 01:24:46 Teach Me Something 01:28:35 AITA 01:41:32 No Flush February 01:43:53 TikTok Replacements 01:46:08 Whose Personality are you Stealing? #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Redefining the paddy landscape. all right play date play date and guys this is a special play date because this is the last time that you'll have to wait a full week before your next play date that's true that'll never happen again that won't even happen this time the last time was the time that just happened you're putting me in a mental pretzel but yes you'll never you'll never have to wait more than four days for a play date i think yeah or four days uh thursday fridays five days you'll never have to wait five days we'll own the minimum you have to wait is five days next monday will be our first monday play date should we do announcements that do exist okay yeah these

are announcements that do exist we're doing two play dates a week every monday and wednesday starting now it's gonna be a blast you guys are gonna be drowning in play date it's literally you're gonna be overwhelmed we're essentially doubling your workload we're gonna have twice a lot of homework twice as many cameras twice as many producers it's gonna be fun it's gonna be mayhem twice as many of us we're gonna have stunt doubles yeah it'd be funny if the monday episode was just oh my god we announce it and it's clearly not us it's actually a great bit your gavin sits in for you and then who looks like me um stetson bennett in high school high school stetson bennett that would actually be kind of an awesome pod who sits in for me um

gracie abrams wow i don't know that's a compliment that's a big get one of the cleaning ladies yeah ours look exactly like us it's just like a middle-aged hispanic woman what are you drinking there you got a little green juice well it's uh no it's an immunity shot cherry citrus what and it has like the orangest thing i've ever it has vitamin d zinc in probiotics i didn't got a little green juice it's delish it's sort of i feel like green juice is a category that's it is yeah like my wellness shot that's brown it's still a green juice yeah exactly um i almost got honestly it's a miracle i'm sitting here with you guys today i almost got poisoned on friday night it didn't work no i was i ordered i came home from the bar

and i ordered a pizza on the way i got hiccups at the bar i was just like instead of just instead of trying to tough it out here i'm just gonna call it a night like being the guy oh you're the guy who said you'd want hiccups for your entire life no i texted lauren and i said like okay any any i was like i was so wrong about the hiccups thing yeah it was unbearable i hate it i only had it for four but my uber driver was just like are you okay man but so i ordered the i ordered the pizza on the way back where'd you get margo's you ever read margo's buffalo chicken pizza from margo's awesome oh and uh you're gonna say it was ass no it was awesome awesome have you had the buffalo chicken pizza from margo's awesome it was so good um but so i

timed it perfectly and the pizza the pizza delivery guy got there like 15 seconds after i closed the door and he was like an evil postmates driver i hate when you get dude i hate evil postmates drivers and i opened the door and he was like holding my pizza and like looking like looking at me like this one and i was like hey man and he goes it should be hot and i was like what he just walked away and the sticker that like the tamper seal had clearly been ripped off but i was so hungry that i was just like i don't have a choice like i have to and i kind of sat there with it for a couple minutes and was like this would just not this would be a dumb way to go down if like i knew it was it was the clearly the most evil postmates driver of all time what

was his what was evil about him the face he was making okay it should be hot and he was like anyone who's looking at you through their own eyebrows is it's like it was like he was like a cartoon evil guy she's like it should be hot okay i like this guy granted i was i was borderline blackout drunk so like i may have been like i may have like i may have like kind of misread the situation but the way what i gathered from it was like this guy 100 poisoned my pizza yeah he probably did and i kind of looked at it and i didn't see any poison i didn't see any poison and like if he if he did poison it he did a good job he didn't half-ass it like he hit it somewhere he had the poison like maybe under a piece of chicken or something and so i was kind of like

picking at it didn't see any poison was like fuck it ate half of it sat there with it was like kind of ready to start feeling the effects never came went to bed had i was ready to start feeling and was like expecting like you know there's a chance i don't wake up yeah woke up ate the rest of it for breakfast felt like a million bucks wow but the what's concerning is he rose tail he ripped off the like he did yeah yeah he did tamper with it he tampered with it in some way there wasn't like a piece missing though no i feel like it also could have been as far as i know maybe the restaurant they had to like to double check which kind it was or maybe uh i don't know it was just all the things together suggested poisoning yeah should be what would poison look like what would

that would it just be like a i think it's a green goo a liquid i always picture the poison like the thing like uh ricin from breaking bad oh yeah i'm picturing like a it's like a bubbly green goo in a cauldron your pizza has a cauldron in the middle you're like no no no well it doesn't normally have i'm picturing like the hair of a widow and like yeah wait when did you you said what did i say you said that like brought the house down the other night i forget the punchline was the hair of a widow i forget oh where when were we even oh scott gave me that potion at shay jay oh dude shay jay yeah he invites literally the worst bar for chilling it was like someone it was like someone was like all right let's make a bar but let's make it impossible to chill there

the bar he invited us to for happy hour after work on friday we show up and it's like a bougie old-timer sailor sailor bar it was like where like where sailors would come after like a six month stint in the but they got gold or something because like the food was nice and they wouldn't let us sit at any of the tables there were eight of us which is like if that doesn't warrant giving us a booth like i don't know what does they wouldn't let us sit down so i just stand there's peanuts all over the floor i'm stepping on peanuts left and right and i it was just a nightmare like peanuts on the floor that is a chill vibe so but it wasn't but they wouldn't let us sit down and like it was all like stuffy in there and like there also it wasn't like there was like a line

to sit down like there was no one at any of the tables no one at any of the booths and the woman was like we were like yeah we'll order food and she was like no you can eat at the bar we were like we can't we're all did they have reservations i guess i don't know it was a whole well i looked it up because i i didn't know what this bar was and it said that it was a famous like old time steakhouse yeah like the food is like nice uh it was a huge misguided it was his fault it was i don't think the place sucks necessarily like i think it'd be cool for like a little it wasn't it wasn't conducive to what we were trying yeah but for chilling and hanging out uh it was yeah if you want to hang out shajay is not the spot to do it don't even get me the panic

that set in when i because i was the first one to get there oh yeah and you realize you i realized i fucked it so bad and i walked in and was just like oh this is bad this is really bad because i did i had told eight people that and i'd kind of been making a big stink about like this chill sesh it's wednesday and uh i got there and was just like this is bad but people were already like like billy had already called his uber and so i was like you know what let's just see how it goes there was this woman sitting next to us who oh she wanted to fuck all of us she wanted to fuck all of which was crazy an older woman yeah yeah she said i'll sleep with any one of you guys my hotel is right up there oh she actually said that yes and then her husband got there and she

goes i was just telling them that i would sleep with any one of them i'll be their side pieces like our hotel's right there i would 20 minutes we'll go there and come back and uh like send it to her husband i think they were like swingers or she hot no no no but she seemed nice yeah i mean i i definitely thought about it but but joe so joe it was like her it was her me or her joe me my girlfriend and uh she i didn't notice this but when she left uh joe leaned over to me and goes in the in the like 15 minutes that we've been here she drank four martinis really oh my god yeah she was she was on one she was doing the wordle and she kept showing me

like her progress and I don't think she knew how the wordle worked because like she kept just putting the same letter in the spot that was yellow and so I kind of explained it to her and she was like I know she was just figuring out the wordle she was like I know and I was like I don't think you do

I don't think you get it because you keep putting them in the same spot and it was a long term play she's sussing out the other positions yeah so that was awesome I should have done it yeah well so did you guys go anywhere else after we pivoted will had to go to the concert oh yeah and uh we pivoted to townhouse we were playing pool and there was another like really

drunk there was a lot of like drunk people that were very open about who they wanted to sleep with who was that there was like this 30 year old woman who was playing with uh our boy curtis works there and have you ever met curtis you just know him from working he's a he's a security guard at townhouse yeah and he's like this pool but he wasn't your boy before you started going there no no no i only i only see him there or he sells he also sells us soap out of his car different story in the night it's just you and me boy two soldiers bonded for life 58 miles no one's coming for us when anyone else would quit they'll do the impossible i got you and get home part of the beast is an uplifting triumph

be the greatest dog ever bread i'll get you home part of the beast now playing but we put the character curtis is like somewhere between 40 and 105 years old okay you can't you know like those like uh black don't crack yes i you you said it exactly you said it not me he he looks fantastic and you can't tell he's wise enough that he could be like 130 and he'll usually if there's someone who sucks he'll be their partner and then we'll play them and it's kind of like fair because like curtis is gonna hit every shot but like that person's gonna put him in like a horrible position whatever and uh the girl came up and joe is obviously very handsome and she was like i'm just so nervous because you guys are so hot and i was like i

felt great to be like grouped with joe yeah but it was clearly more about joe and then she was like twerking on us like to like distract it was weird it was all around what's her name and where's a bar it was town it was townhouse and she was was she twerking on your lady she was not twerking on my lady but my lady agreed that we would go to her dance recital oh and she was i like wait you're asking questions that dance recital i guess how old is she i'm hoping she was maybe the teacher but she that girl left and and my girlfriend came up to me and was like yeah we have to go to her dance recital on sunday i was like no we don't we're never gonna see her again um and then yeah it was just a weird night that's funny well how was the concert it was fantastic

future birds they played all the hits and yeah it was really they were like more like jammy than i realized it was like 10 15 minute songs oh that's fun 10 15 minute songs yeah it was awesome like they would just like go long damn are they normally that long no like that's like you like you like expand the song to like give each guy like a yeah yeah they were just like repeat choruses maybe not to have 15 minutes but they were they were long songs yeah uh they take their isn't that kind of what when like matt came on from mount joy why am i looking out on his name yeah matt um wasn't he saying that they like that's like a jam band yeah yeah yeah oh yeah nice yeah you remember that jam band in uh the outer banks

what like the show or the real place the real place i've never been oh really yeah we were together we're at this brewery and there was like not me this jam okay me and another guy we're at this brewery in the outer banks and a jam band came on and like it was clear they were like a crowd favorite yeah people started like losing their fucking marbles when they came out there they all took their shoes off and would just play for you couldn't tell if it was 41 minute songs or 140 minute song because it was just like yeah each guy like the bass guy would take control for like 40 seconds like yeah and uh kids were like like like going in the middle like parents were having dinner and then they would just like send their kid like the jam band was almost like

the babysitter because the kids were just like infatuated by them wait why were they taking their shoes off they were like they were just shit they weren't like making a big stink about it but they were like you'd see a guy like in the middle of a chorus and just be like and everyone's catching them it's like it's like uh the opposite of how like girls throw their bras on stage like the band throws their shoes into the crowd the funniest part of the concert i was at was we were like up on the balcony and then there were these two guys like to the left of the stage like losing their minds like knew every word to the songs like going crazy and they were i was like what are they wearing and i they kind of got more

visible and they were both wearing larry bird college uniforms indiana state they both had the same jersey on going nuts is there any like future birds larry bird oh maybe oh i guess but they're wearing past birds jerseys at a future birds concert maybe there's something it's like a larry bird like it's like a team that doesn't exist yet yeah it's like the sporks yeah the mars sporks that is speaking of mars you heard first thing trump said was we're sending guys to mars thank god dude he used the word manifest destiny which is always a good sign that's all yeah that's good that's a good one is that like when we like like forced all the native americans out yep killed them and exiled them and stuff scalped them too well why was

everyone into scalping back i think they were more into scalping than we know but i think we saw it was like that's a good we should get into that too yeah i think it was just before guns they had to get a little creative right but it's like if you're close enough to scalp them you're close enough to kill him well yeah i think it was like a trophy right a scalp oh i do not want hand up i don't want to get scalp i'll be honest i prefer my scalp on yeah amen i mean i pop it off for once in a while just to get some air in there but oh i'm kidding ohio state is in the national championship today yeah hopefully when this comes out we had a good yeah this is going to either our lauren and i's outfits will either age very well or very poorly i think well though

I think they're going to F Notre Dame. I'm excited. You know, a non-Nike team has never won the national championship. Like in the CFP or like ever? I'm sure someone has won it ever, but at least since like 2016 or whenever they started the... No, think about it. Or Michigan was Jordan.

That counts as Nike? I guess. That's what I was going to say. Last year it was Michigan. I guess we can alter it to an Under Armour team has never won it. BC. used to be under armor now we're new oh thanks for the reminder i still have to get my cake remember you were gonna get my cake for tonight oh yeah so they were out cake factory burned

in the fires it's kind of insensitive i'm not i'm not forgetting wait look my accelerator matches though the cleaning lady came up to me today it was like uh but it's a good fight was like all of our all of our clientele was in the palisades oh no really which is just a thing i never i never thought about that like actually obviously it's horrible that that things burn out but like it's affecting people who didn't even like they were like yeah you guys are our only i guess they'll be more diligent here but that's a bummer that's horrible yeah i read there's like an article in the late times about like all profiling a bunch of like yeah like nannies and oh my god yeah like all there's so much because there was all these rich people who like employed a lot of people

yeah got like landscapers dude well troy's troy's uh dad's company like seven of their houses that they worked on were in Malibu, Palisades. That's brutal. She'd Caitlyn Clark's stalker in court. Yeah. Guilty as charged.

And the judge was like, no, no. We're not doing this. Lauren's got her stick. She starts beating the brakes off of us. The brakes off. Also, can we not go to Mars? We can, yeah. But a human would

like crush like when you're like knees break have you ever seen the martian no you just have to eat you just use your own poop to make plants and then you're fine i don't know i don't think our knees would crush i think we would burn or something or not be able to gravity so much more oh maybe i don't know can't breathe on the moon we went there yeah so we should go to mars what's there it's just like nevada right yeah i think there's um i don't know nothing probably i giant volcanoes canyons literally ice cap dry riverbed it's literally just nevada it has two moons foobs is that what

it says foobs where groups the first set oh yeah phobos and phobos foobs it looks like i don't know I guess my visions have gone. That would be funny if we just used it as another place for Bed MGM to be. Yeah, that'd be awesome. It was like, you can do... We can build the next Vegas, and it's all one plant. The dealers have like four heads. They all have four heads.

They're just like us. They're just like us. They all have four heads. I was going to say, so where can I go to see if I wanted to see a volcano? on the in the like in in hawaii and they're actually alaska yeah uh i mean yeah they're i could seem like they're not like currently erupting yeah um what kind of games what kind of like games would be at a martian casino a martian casino would have um like dude i hit it big and scorps last night yeah yeah i don't um it's like a 12-sided dice and slunk machines

you hit the jackpot like a bunch of goo comes out like oh the guy next to you's like no that is valuable stuff is there oil on mars can you google if there's oil on mars i don't think so did you know apparently there's so much that they know there's so much gold on like asteroids and stuff that like if we were able to or like meteors or whatever that like if we were able to get it it would just make gold like obsolete here we should do it what's your guys's favorite planet oh i was just talking about this yesterday scott asked me this neptune why because uh i like poseidon and that's like the roman one i like that you and scott are having these conversations me too just kicking it and you're like he's like what's your favorite planet his favorite was

neptune too mine's saturn they made because of the rings uh i like titan there's an intruder in our office that's an intruder in our office oh that's what you just said titan i think it's one of the moons google google titan what the person in our office the moon's in our office we all get like sucked like the gravity like pins us against the wall. Wait, what do you want me to look up? Google Titan moon. Look at that live look.

What do you mean it's not a planet? It's a moon. You think a moon is a planet? No. A moon's not a planet. A moon. Europa. Real photos of that moon. So pretty.

Wait, Europa's a planet? Europa? It's just, like, a bunch of, like, guys in tighter jeans than us. It's a moon. Dude, is someone, like, robbing us? When I was outside of the Future Birds concert, I was standing there. Yep. And a guy came out, and he came up to me, and he shook my hand.

and then he goes oh oh fuck fuck what was it what was it and he's i was like oh i was like what and he goes what's the fucking what's the rice the fucking rice joke again fuck fuck and then just walked away oh he's trying to think of rice pilaf too it was pretty awesome yeah he's been like he had all night to think about it it was awesome he spied you across the concert and he'd just been racking his brain

fuck what is it but dude trial reels yeah it popped off blew up again and then the speaker died is now blown up again so big week for willie d guys this podcast is brought to you by triple triple is the original high seltzer with three milligrams of thc and just 15 to 20 calories triple offers a social buzz similar to that of

your favorite hard seltzer light on calories high on life it's all natural gluten-free and again just 15 to 20 calories willie what do you love about triple you were tripled up the other night i was as you know i've been doing dry january and this weekend i supplemented my alcohol consumption uh with triple consumption and i had a few triples on saturday while watching the lions game who lost which was a little weird i was a little like what the heck but it was great it was fun i didn't feel like i was missing out on anything and yeah we played board games after and i had another triple it was just good triple is born from a desire to blend thc's social buzz with the social ritual of sipping on a seltzer triple is

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i didn't think about it until it actually happened uh yeah we the three of us needed a lot it's important dude do you see like the message they put out like when you went on for that time it was the it's like blowing president trump yeah i was like sucking him clean yeah to completion they're sucking his score buff and it worked yeah they're doing tricks on it do you see kanye posted uh he texted trump did he he was like trump it's yay north trying to post a tiktok one letter and trump just goes i'm on it kanye and kanye goes it's yay and he goes i'm on it yay there's no way that's right that is not real there's no way that's real trump texted kanye kanye text pull up like he posted on instagram i don't believe this yeah donald this yay north he

wants to make tiktoks but the app is banned change this it's for my kids no way this is and trump goes on it kanye he goes it's yay on it yay there's no way it's the funniest time to be alive in history no that's not real whether it's real or not it is yeah it's definitely not real there's no i guarantee See, I guarantee Kanye texted Trump. I doubt that's the real text. I doubt he has his number. Kanye?

There are videos of him calling Trump. Recently? I feel like that's like Trump. From his last term. Yeah, I'm sure he's got like a new... There's no way that there's a direct line to Donald Trump that Kanye West is allowed to text. Oh, I feel like there is. They definitely have each other's numbers.

Do you think Trump has like a normal number? Yeah. 100%. I don't think so. What do you think he's tweeting off of? Like an iPad? Yeah, like a computer or like someone's doing it. You think he's going like boom, boom, boom on every tweet?

Yeah. I don't know. I think you'd be shocked. I don't know. I bet he has an iPhone in his pocket. Can you Google how does Trump tweet? I'm actually curious. You think he doesn't have a personal phone?

That's like a normal person who just call or text. I think every inbound call has to go through someone. I bet he has a special iPhone that is encrypted. He dictates his tweets to his aides. He definitely has it. I mean, he has a phone. I think he has a phone, but I think any text or call has to probably go through someone. You think he scrolls TikTok?

But I bet Kanye, yes, 100%. I think Kanye, he's also like 80. My grandpa, if my grandpa can do it. your grandma scrolls tiktok uh no but he uh can text i'm not saying he can't text i'm just saying i don't think that he's doing it i think everything's coming through someone else but how funny is it to think that yeah i mean hysterical kanye's or trump's like on it yay on it yay he's obviously not a cool guy but like it is funny to just day one be like they're like we banned it he's like yeah like that's kind of cool yeah we didn't have it for 14 hours

it was not even was it was it 14 hours that's what i've seen at least yeah um i had one more thing i wanted to tell you about i don't know maybe with some rice maybe with some sake oh we talked about this already um i don't i don't think will and i should shop together anymore we have very we have very different strategies as to how to get through shop target will and i went to target wait i think you already talked about this i think we talked about in real life real life oh yeah will i went to target and like every every aisle he like realized he needed like a new like i've never seen you floss and you're like oh ah i gotta get floss when would you see me floss we don't live together i don't know like ah we went to target uh and i had a few

toiletries i need to grab that took a total of five minutes to grab yeah but each it's more target's fault because everything's under like lock and key so we had to like sit by the toothpaste for five minutes and like wait i don't know what your problem with me grabbing a few toiletries at the local target we were going to get a board game we weren't in any rush it was supposed to be in and out it was not supposed to be in and out it was 3 30 in the middle of the workday and we had to come back to work there was no time crunch i just when i go somewhere i want to be i want to just make it fast i want to do it fast i want to get in and out and you were like it took like five minutes i just had to grab a toothbrush and floss yeah actually now now that we're saying it

out loud i'm in the wrong but i did i don't think you're in the wrong i just don't think there's a stink that needs to be made about this i just think if you and i were like married one of us would have to do the grocery shopping separate from the other yeah i hate grocery shopping it's my least favorite target is overwhelming because there's so much there like that's why i don't like it because as i'm walking around even i'll be walking by like the clothes i'm like wait do i need a new white shirt like everything that i pass is like oh i need i feel like i need that do you ever talk to your mom after a target trip and it's like she went to like war she was like i was going there for a hairbrush and she comes back with like 500 dollars and that's what

happens when i go she says it happens every time she'd be like i went for a hairbrush and i came back and i have like we all have we all have new socks we all have birds now a target do you ever bird no but i've seen them nice how'd that go good uh you not that i know of i remember i feel like i remember one being there like a sister had one maybe but i can't think of when or why never really had any pens except cookie my dog died when i was eight i had a stroke and fell on the stairs good jesus christ it was the night of homecoming for my brother and sister yeah you told me that i didn't realize it had a stroke and fell down the stairs what are the odds of it doing it right by the stairs apparently that really just was the stroke that killed it but i

think that the stairs didn't help the stairs did not help they were telling my friend garrett fell down my stairs no way he i guess he would sleepwalk when we were kids and he could he had a really good map of his own house yeah but if he fell asleep at your house you're like all bets were off and uh i guess the bathroom for his house was right where my stairs were and he just went ass over tea kettle yeah he must have hit the part of his head that makes him respond to texts didn't you say he's the one who never responds last episode garrett will uh uh sorry um now we are doing a new segment called what is what is on my iphone welcome back to what's on lauren's iphone lauren what were you looking oh oh what was i looking at

sorry i was texting my sister i played bird game again with will angus and jack martin we got a killer crew together to play a bird game wait wingspan that's the one i invited you you said i was going you were going to dinner when was this it was right after the lions game on saturday yeah and uh it took four hours and was excruciating teaching all these people i think my bird game's getting out of hand i think you should set a rule that no one can play wingspan unless they brush up on it on their own time i think you're right you sent me a photo of an ava was like oh my god that looks so fun and i was like that's actually my nightmare you put a baby to sit down and learn that right now yeah there's a lot it was the hardest i've laughed

ever that was watching we put on like a youtube video explaining it and angus was standing right in front of the tv and just watching him try to piece all this information together is the funniest thing of all it sounds made up we should honestly make like there should be like a sketch that's just like the explanation to a board game yeah that's insanely complicated i ran into the other half of their duo at hanano liam was there with uh his girlfriend and her friends and i i think they were all kind of like you know just getting the drinking started and we had kind of done i had done most of mine before hanano like i was gonna have one more beer in the go home and uh his girlfriend was wearing a fleece from rowing blazers that i was gonna order yeah and

what i meant what i was trying to say was like oh you beat me you beat me to it like i was gonna order that one but like now i'm now i'm not because you have it or whatever and what came out was like i was gonna get that and now i'm not and i didn't like elaborate at all and it like didn't oh like that she looks bad in it so you're not gonna get it like it came it came out like bad and i had to just kind of like dismiss myself from the table like all right you ever like make a mistake and then you're like if i but if i try to apologize it's just gonna make it worse right If the only thing I have to do is just drop it and move on, but I got to eat that one. Yeah.

That's the worst. It was brutal. That is the worst. It was a real, she looked awesome in it. Whoa. Hey, clear jets, all right? It looked cool. And I just felt, it was one of those ones that I've been kind of sitting with all weekend.

I'm sorry. Yeah. I didn't see, I went to Palos Verdes and I didn't see any peacocks. Lauren told me. Is that like their thing? That's what Lauren just told me this morning. So I'm a little miffed. they like to did you go there for the peacocks no he's not there for fun are they birds yeah

what else would they be i don't know if you know like ostrich is like is like not what's an ostrich what like an ostrich like oh my god ostrich is a mammal why do you keep doing this to yourself ostriches are birds why do you you walk right into these yes an ostrich is the bird is a bird yes ostrich is the bird it's a fucking it's like i want you to help yourself and you just keep stumbling into these google is emu a bird how gorgeous they are they are oh my gosh oh they kind of look like avocados i've never thought of that they were all right ostriches is the bird yes ostrich is the bird it's a flightless bird but like they're the bird like they run they run like 140 miles an hour yeah they're flightless birds right why do they like what went wrong for

them in the evolution process i think uh one of their wings got stuck in like a mammoth or something back in the old days right like like literally held them back yeah everyone else was growing and they're like fine i'm running we're like penguin and i fed an ostrich that's probably why ostriches are so fast they were trying to keep up with like other birds yeah so then they just running like way faster than any mammals you know they're like like i think they're like the second fastest thing oh wow what fastest animals yeah you go fastest animals ranking 43 that's insane oddly specific yeah cheetah can

fastest animals ranking okay well bird don't count well bird don't bird obviously don't count okay here we go they're all bird bird don't count everyone know bird fastest not bird

cheetah fastest gland animal cheetah pronghorn what the hell is a pronghorn thompson's a gazelle okay well this is a disappointing list i think outside of um a black marlin oh my god they haul ass 80 mile an hour fish there's an 80 mile an hour fish dude we caught a what the fuck can you google black marlin i think sailfish are faster sailfish go fucking fast full speed an 80 mile an hour

fish do you guys how ridiculous that is dude oh my god oh my god it's that big one yeah jesus what the fuck that was the loudest thing ever when 80 mile an hour fish that big oh my god two new years ago harper's dad uh we were all playing bumper pool at like three in the morning and he came out of his bedroom and he's like he's like you guys should probably go to bed we're going fishing at seven and we were like oh what and he we were like all right we'll probably just like sleep through it he'll forget about it he did not forget about it started blasting like rap music like seven in the morning we all get up we're like we all of us go to sleep

inside the ship being like trying to sleep off this hangover and he's out there like battling sailfish and one of the guys one of the like guys that worked for the charter like ran in and was like you guys gotta come on out out right now you gotta hold him you gotta hold him while he like fights this fish so i'm like on the verge of throwing up like holding mr groves who doesn't like go overboard and like waves are like crashing over the back of the thing he gets this sailfish up and uh he while we were asleep he had already caught like one or two and then caught like a bunch of mahi-mahi we missed all of it the only thing i got the only negative part which was like holding him so he didn't go overboard and i didn't know to put like forward or back pressure so like

yeah at times i was supposed to be pulling when i was pushing and it was like making it worse and he's like trying to keep this fish on line but also being like no hold me hold me hold me did you get like a little turned on too yeah whoa that's creepy what that's creepy by the fish he called me uh he he facetimed me the day after i left florida and all of them were wearing like mad max style goggles i'll show you the picture black marlin i was thinking how fast how fast can a sailfish park black marlin could be a finding me sorry i was looking at a picture i was looking at a picture of my my neighbors park in this way they just don't pull into their spots there's park in the middle of the parking garage look at these pictures

68 miles per hour i would need way more context like like they should pull all the way and so to get around them i'll put a picture i'll put the both the pictures right here wow they uh marlin did you hear that it's a spin-off of finding nemo black marlin yeah isn't that his dad oh it's like blackish for yeah yeah probably a territory we shouldn't got it but the basically my neighbors park in this way that it's like impossible to get around them and we've had to like help other people get around because everyone's like scraping their cars on the building trying to like get around got it i've sent like multiple emails being like can you just ask because i don't want to be the guy like leaves a note i think you should leave a note i see them

all the time but you don't have to put your name on it i know but like i feel like that's passive aggressive to be like hey stop parking like a fucking that's what you want you can absolutely do that you should leave a note it makes me yeah i'm going to actually you've convinced me you should write on the note uh but maybe do it with like magazine letters so they can't trace your handwriting you know like cut out like a killer thing but i see them so i should just say something in person be like hey could you please yeah but that is i get that being scary yeah you know it's easier but what if they like what if they like find out it's me that's why you do the magazine thing yeah um do you guys see that they someone saw bigfoot no they didn't

he just he just keeps doing it on tiktok he just keeps doing it to himself no you will see this and be like that is 100 bigfoot i guarantee that will not be my reaction watch this they found bigfoot ew dude dude watch this this is real life bigfoot moment at tiktok is spotted what they believe is bigfoot describing it as the scariest moment of their life the user filmed what appears to be a large figure sitting under a tree many people in the comments were convinced the encounter was 100 real while others thought it was just someone in a costume look that's literally i mean it's probably someone in a costume you believe in bigfoot now i do what else do you need to be convinced. This is the clearest video we've ever gotten of him.

Yeah, but that could be a person in a costume. So easily. Have you ever seen the Mitch Hedberg joke about Bigfoot? No. He's like, maybe Bigfoot is blurry. I like that. I like that a lot.

I feel like it's just a weird looking... Can you google Bigfoot? exciting don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life you know the same way you can skip an ad I get it

I'm Siyaya and I live in Ice Cove I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned and today I'm still figuring it out somehow things usually get worse before they get better apparently that's how I roll so bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride

stream a new episode of North of North tuesdays on cbc gem jen you are 25 oh my god there's like multiple okay yeah the first major idaho bigfoot setting of 2025 is frightening jesus i want to believe that he's out there i want i mean i would like to meet him right i would like to share it oh i was at my buddy brett's house last night and they have he has this like tea thing it was awesome we were playing poker and he had this like tea pot thing with like the tea right in it yeah and then all these little cups yeah and it was very classy we all sat sat sipped on tea and uh yeah guys awesome it was really it was really

pleasant i lost i'd suck at poker dude i can't how much money to do this 26 and 25 cents that could be way worse yeah my grandpa runs a poker league at his like you know apartment yeah complex whatever and uh he i guess like taught all the other guys how to do it so he's already at like an upper it's basically just like every week he just takes 10 bucks from five guys yeah that's that's me that's what uh something about taking my other tip jar five guys that's what i do he uh oh yeah oh he's right there yeah oh he's in park county do you ever grandpa ever tell you a story and no like you think you think your grandpa has just always been how he is like oh you were born like

a 90 year old man yeah like they have cool stories he was saying that when he was pledging his fraternity uh they used to then he went to he went to uh university of maine so it's like or no or no black bears go black bears but there's like a lot of like kind of middle of nowhere places within like 10 minutes of there yeah they just drop them off like 10 miles away from campus and be like you have to get home she's and uh they he was like by some chance they dropped me off on this like dirt logging road and i just like immediately found a trucker and he was like i was home in five minutes but he's like i wanted to like scare them yeah so he went to his uh buddy's house or like dorm and just laid low for three days and just didn't tell anyone and he was like

they started to panic after like 24 hours and like really like missed him and like like word kind of got to him that the guys were like freaking out they're like we might have killed jim that's all and uh he said uh after like three days he just walked outside like rubbed a bunch of dirt on his face and just walked back into the fraternity house he was like they treated me like a king because they're like they literally thought they killed him survive yeah that's awesome oh my god that's fucking terrible my grandpa was the king of the teenagers i'll tell you that no that sounds awesome yeah my grandpa was yeah hopefully he's not anymore no he that's like his claim to fame he's like i was king of the teenagers apparently he showed me the news article there

was some award in cincinnati for king of the teenagers where they would award it to like the coolest teenager or something in the whole city of Cincinnati he was king of the teenagers I'm pretty sure that's sick yeah and he was in a barbershop quartet called the four chords what year was he alive he's been alive for a bunch of them but uh what was what I'm trying to pick was this like Greece era like was he wearing a leather jacket well he's in his mid-80s now so did he fight in the war no he was born in 50 oh 50 right no 40 no my grandpa wait wait wait this is terrible if he's in his 80s right now he was born in like 30 something yeah well no if he's in 80s 20s 86 right now then he was born in the 40s yeah around 1940 i tried to see late 30s early 40s

my grandpa refused to eat at yosaku once because what is yosaku i guess he it was a japanese restaurant in portland and he fought in the pacific and my grandma wouldn't buy japanese cars yeah because he fought in the pacific he was it was like the first time i'd ever seen that side of him different grandpa we just got there and he just stayed in the car yeah it's like bro you gotta try this i was trying to explain i was like you will love tempura delicious yeah and he was like nope sat in the car oh man what else is going on anything cool would you ever fight in a war i guess i really don't want it i don't know i think if we i think i might be a draft dodger well i think we're already out of it i think 23 you're good or we'd be like an officer

yeah i know i'm just trying to like i don't it would have to it would entirely depend on the circumstances of the war but i might be a draft dodger which is kind of scary like world war two was fought by like 16 year olds through like 20 year olds it was like guys who lied about being 18 and then guys who were like just barely 18 yeah like world war ii i guess that that i would i would fight in but we were like we kind of came in late yeah which is awesome oh it sounds awful war sounds fucking i still don't get how it worked because we didn't make any the war did world war ii did like nothing what do you mean like we didn't like make any it was just guys in like trenches like shooting at each other and like not really making any like serious progress

what are you talking about world war ii yeah hitler conquered like all of no i'm saying like we were like if you like obviously like the real people they were making advancements and stuff but it was like kind of just it would like negate each other like they would take something we would like take it back and they would just kind of like keep coming around i guess yeah well i mean they definitely conquered a lot they'd made a lot of progress but i'm saying like we i guess what i'm watching when i watch like band of brothers it just feels like we were fighting over like 100 yards for like 30 days yeah i do think it was like incredibly drawn out yeah yeah or no sorry i guess i'm thinking of world war one was like trench like the first like trench warfare and it was like

you'd be you'd be out there for like six months and you'd you'd maybe get like a quarter mile yeah or something and then you'd be irreparably fucked up yeah we do we just kind of got into like mustard gas it's crazy while i'm watching peaky blinders i'm almost done obviously well he like the whole like it's all like post-world war one like have you seen this show i've seen a little bit yeah but like tommy shelby's all like shelby's all like fucked up from i don't know it's just crazy like the the whole generation is just fucked up from the war basically of men his age i want to watch that yeah i think that's why they're like they're like hardened into like lumps of coal yeah it's just so yeah i mean that could have imagine like what you what were you

doing at 18 i jerked off i think yeah they were not doing have you guys seen 1917 no yeah that was oh it's like all one one shot well wasn't actually but they made no but it's yeah that was an incredible movie you should watch it it's about it's about world war one it's about these like two guys on a mission in world war one but it's all they do they do like sneak some cuts from the one guy's one shot the whole movie like it's yeah follows them on like an adventure basically and it never really there's no cuts it's very cool yeah yeah i was i watched band of brothers over christmas break and i watched it all under like all in the comfort of my living room like under a blanket and even i was like uncomfortable yeah you know i can't imagine

actually doing it yeah war sounds horrible well that's a time shelby was he was a tunnel digger or something so all those like war flashbacks are him like wrestling guys in tunnels and like killing each other like in these like four foot tunnels under the ground how old is he which sounds like my biggest nightmare oh same uh he's like i don't know 30s or 40s you would not have liked vietnam vietnam was like no i know all i hate i'm like claustrophobic you'd be you'd be crawling through a tunnel and there'd just be like a vietcong guy like hanging from the ceiling like jump on you my dad wrote a book about vietnam wrote a book yeah jesus he just finished his book about vietnam and he sent it to me and i haven't read it and i feel bad i gotta read it i

haven't read any book yet this i'm reading a book right now year second book ever how many chapters i read one i gotta read two more by wednesday yeah so oh that's what you're picking up the pace then i thought it was one a week yeah we were gonna do that and then we realized we'd be done on october 15th i sent it to my dad and i guess the prologue he thought it was going to be like um he thought it was going to be different he thought he didn't like it he loved it once he read chapter one but he was worried that i sent him like a you know sometimes they'll rewrite history to make the big that guy was gay and like he wasn't like it's clearly someone like rewriting what like they're saying like lincoln was gay now and people are upset about it because

they're just like we're you're just saying that now got it like there isn't like a lot to back that up your dad was worried that your book was gonna make captain james cook be gay yeah because apparently he apparently he had heard about him he was worried they were gonna tarnish his legacy got it yeah i think i hope lincoln was gay wait kind of awesome yeah i mean i'd i'd fuck him no i was just gonna say that maybe when you finish your book when i finished my current book what if us three did a little book club i'm down i'm down so i don't know if we like the same genres but maybe we can find something in the middle you know james burr james wilkes booth you know the guy that killed john wilkes booth the guy that killed abraham lincoln that would be like if um

like woody harrelson's brother like killed trump yeah his like his brother was like the most famous actor of the time yeah that's wild it would be like at it would be like woodie harrelson's brother dude woodie harrelson was on broadway and and woodie harrelson's brother snuck up behind trump and shot him in the head and then jumped off the balcony and snapped his leg and ran away with a beautiful girl i still can't get over your story i can't believe i fucking saw brett harrelson i will never live down that moment that is la for you i hope that girl's doing okay that also put in perspective how much money woodie harrelson has that he can afford to give his brother a car like that i know i need my brother to fucking make a bajillion dollars i know i think my brother

might be in true detective he hasn't been asked yet but he said he would if he got asked that's good that's a good start i agree all right guys we are here to talk about one of our new favorite partners dollar shave club guys it's no surprise that facial hair is personal it grows from your face we all grow it we all shave it and we all style it differently and we think that's pretty freaking great not gonna lie i i did think the dollar shave club was just razors agreed turns out it's a lot more than that they sent us an awesome kit they got something to help me groom down down under your nether regions my nether regions uh like a shave butter like oh the i like the i like the post shave do yeah yeah makes me feel fresh yep oh uh i got the electric the

electric guy baby smooth not to get tmi down there lauren cover your ears i'm as smooth as a baby's bottom down there and uh they they now have the club series six blade razor it's got six stainless steel blades and a vitamin e infused lubricant strip so it delivers the closest most comfortable shave imaginable it is so comfy your skin might just want to curl up and read a nice book after but don't take our word for it try for yourself dollar shave club products are now available everywhere so you can order from their website amazon or get them at your favorite retailer near you alternatively you can visit their site right now for 20 off 20 or more and get your products delivered right to your door visit dollarshaveclub.com slash playdate and use promo

code playdate for 20 off 20 or more and remember whatever you shave welcome to the club as you may have heard we love accelerator you've seen me drinking them look ready i'm drinking one right now it is seriously the best zero sugar energy drink on the market and it's available on amazon uh so you can get your own and be as obsessed with it as we are i know you're getting you're on the wave now i've been getting accelerated out of my gourd lately i had one of the um what what's the red white and blue one the rocket pop i had a rocket pop one i have been drinking the orange ice pop ones but i had a rocket pop one right before the pod guys it gets me feeling right a common theme with will and i's we we like to do as low cal as possible they're like five

calories yep which i feel like i can justify 10 calories at most for the ones that i drink at least so good i i this first thing i drink when i get up in the morning great start to my day uh and honestly it tastes better than than like like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from your mom i would agree not not a lot of people are comparing them on the same playing field quite often no but i think i want to put it in perspective for you this tastes better than a peanut butter jelly sandwich from your mom that even if you cut the crunch off seriously can't say enough good things i love this product as you know i've been drinking it for a long time and now you can join me and we can be drink buddies and we can start a drink buddy club

like how you have a book club rusty has a book club i'm not in i'm now starting a drink buddy club that he's not in um and you can be part of it if you go to amazon and buy some accelerator so order amazon accelerator accelerator is available on amazon go to amazon and order accelerator that is a tongue twister and a half let's get back to the episode now the tiktok's leaving i think there's we all need to say a secret about the podcast that we should that we can get off our chest for the listeners all right for episodes uh 32 to 48 rusty was in a medically induced coma and we used a guy that looked like him and some cgi patchwork on the back end to simulate his presence um all the family guy pranks were actually fake i have watched the

show many times and we were just doing it for clicks and it worked we used a ghostwriter for the first three sayings that don't exist my body and arms are fake i'm not really this i have a twin sister i slept with lauren's twin sister i slept with rusty during episode one that's why you can't see below the waist during that episode we're actively sleeping with each other uh will and i've shit our pants multiple times during the podcast and not said anything i mean you actually shit your pants also all right i didn't fucking shit my pants i checked and i didn't shit them i fucking checked and i hadn't i don't know if you did but you actually did during zach and waleed

oh my god yeah you kept you kept saying you almost did but you actually i actually did poop you did yeah it was like smeared all over his pants you had to throw them away i caked it against my oh is that when you caked it i caked it against my ass boom all right new segment one time when i was a kid i uh got a nosebleed and i didn't wake up and it dried to my face and i looked like i was wearing a red mask okay that was secrets about the podcast oh also um there have never been any long form episodes these are all just for clips there are also no clips this is all long form all right should we do a roadmap well yesterday i told ava about how you roll onto your food in the night i thought it was so funny wait have we told people

about that i i feel like i've told numerous people about that i sleep on top of my food will all the time will bring food news bed and then fall asleep before you can eat it and roll on top of it it looks like a murder scene although i do think it's a exclusively tied to uh drinking usually so i haven't had this in a while the lasagna one literally looked like it looked like someone shot you in the chest lasagna was probably the worst one charcuterie was bad just because there were so many moving parts there was like grapes in it too um oh waffle i still think waffle house was the worst syrup syrup hash browns we haven't heard about that one that was in is that real athens georgia yeah i fell asleep on top of my waffle

house i mean i don't i fell asleep and then rolled over i guess i don't know but it looked i thought i was gonna get like fined a million dollars by the hotel but thankfully i was able to clean most of it off uh at a waffle house in florida i watched a guy get mugged and no one did anything to stop it outside the waffle house that's what that's the waffle house at the wall house in charleston that guy uh the the one i used to go to in high school the boeing whistleblower shot himself in the parking lot oh we shot himself he was murdered by boeing because he was about to testify oh yeah love boeing i used to go to waffle house and and get waffles and late night uh snacks and stuff with my friends in high school that's that's so great that's crazy

would i ever tell you about when i got pulled over for drinking and driving no it was just reminiscent because my buddy ben is visiting right now and i was with him i didn't drink and drive for the record but i was okay i maybe misphrased that entirely but i was i was going to a music festival in connecticut and we were pulling up and i had a celsius in my hand and i was trying to what's that i said oh yeah i have told you about this oh yeah i haven't told me about this i was trying to find a where to park for the music festival and i pulled up to a a cop that was like directing traffic and i was like excuse me where's the best place to park and he goes first of all stop drinking parking lots down there on the left and i was like i was like

all right thank you sir i mean this isn't just go just go i was like okay all right and i was like that's insane he thought i was drinking and he was just like yeah stop all right park over my sister babysat a girl in my grade who uh was just a kind of a naive child about some things and my sister was drinking a seltzer just a normal seltzer yeah and the girl thought that you like when we were hearing about like don't drink and drive she thought it applied to all drinks and that just drinking the act of like not having both hands on the wheel was the dangerous part yeah and she got very upset with my sister my sister had to explain to her that that's not what drinking and driving is yeah i mean hey you can never be too safe did you did your health

teacher ever put you guys in drunk goggles to show you what being drunk was like the cops did it at bc my freshman year i remember doing it once and i feel like it wasn't that it wasn't accurate at all it was just like unless drinking is like taking acid yeah i remember i think ours was like you had to go try to catch a football or something with them on ours was like kicking soccer balls and i remember kids just like eating shit like it was so dangerous yeah there was a no dunking rule in our gym class because apparently a kid uh dunked his freshman year at a gym class and like it flung him back and he broke his arm and so we'd get yelled at if he tried to dunk oh i remember being like like playing up like i could dunk if it wasn't a rule

being like like oh yeah like they made that rule all the basketball kids are like dude i wish we get dunked i'm like i know right so that's all i want to do all right let's road map it up drunking my friend chris got kicked out of health class when we were in middle school because you know we were flinging bottle caps yeah make them like turn into like frisbees yeah and he was just really good at it he kept hitting our health teacher the health teacher had enough and just he just got put in a different class didn't take health that year that's funny all right we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna do your pitches followed by our pitches and then we're gonna do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today and then we're gonna do

everyone's favorite segment teach me something lauren do you have some am i the assholes yes i do lauren has two assholes and then or maybe not we're gonna do will and i's pitches for alternatives to tiktok when it gets banned and then we're gonna do i don't know how to phrase that one like uh there's dry january we'll there we're gonna do what happens in other months yeah i you know what i realized i think we did this during no not november oh really but we're doing it again you ever done no not november no do people actually do that i know guys that do it successfully i don't think that's possible what you don't think it's possible i think you will how strong is your urge to touch yourself no no no no but like it would happen involuntarily

really yeah like in your sleep yeah i don't think so i've definitely got a month without coming okay but not reason not on purpose why don't you do a challenge i don't think you have i don't think it's possible all right ready is january 20th i will not i will not touch myself until february 20th that's not true 220 i will not come that's not you're not gonna do that no how do you know because it's impossible it's not impossible you're a horny rat bastard people have done it people have been doing it for centuries think about all the guys that don't come what are you talking about all the guys that don't come that's not a type of guy that is a type that's 100 a type of guy there's guys that are like they don't touch themselves but that's

different it'll happen involuntarily what about like mormons or scientologists yeah it happens involuntarily scientologists don't i don't think so i don't think you're allowed to it happens This happens involuntarily, I promise you. Alright, this conversation is making me nauseous. I've never come in my sleep. I've never had a wet dream, that's a fact. I've had dreams where I've had sex, but I never finished. I hate that we're doing this right now.

Yeah, it's making me sick. I'm not going to do it until February 20th. That's a fact. Liar. You're lying. Oh, you just did! Alright, go. There's at least one 12-year-old that listens to this podcast.

Oh! okay here's some pitches please keep going oh are you finished yeah oh oh oh

you walked right into that one you walked right into that one oh god alright alright what do you think the longest you've ever gone is i don't know i want to talk about something three weeks i don't know let's talk about something else all right i have tears flying down i guess maybe you could do a month you

could easily do a month yeah i guess you're right pitches pitches pitches pitches pitch one i couldn't know pitch number one is from page roarden riordan how do you say this last riordan like rick riordan sure roarden percy johnson percy randy johnson percy johnson and the lighting team oh i this guy perry johnson and the lighting thief takes all your lamps and stuff it's parody oh we're on fire today you know all right page says i woke up in beast mode okay sorry page says this is called second thoughts second thoughts is a built-in phone assistant that reads your text before you send them and warns you before you say something rude questionable or that will

bite you in the ass it will prevent you from drunk texting your ex saying something unprofessional to a co-worker or saying something that is accidentally passive-aggressive i like that because i send texts that i don't mean to come off rude but then i'll read that back and i got that probably sounded pretty mean what's one uh probably when you like cuss us out in our group chat i don't cuss us out and when when you called lauren a b word in the group chat yesterday i didn't call her i called lauren a bitch once uh in the old office and i meant it completely as a joke and it did not come out that way and i like barely knew you yeah this guy sucks um this guy sucks this guy sucks this guy sucks today uh the last time i would say like probably like sometimes

i'll send a slack if like something happens that frustrates me it's the merch if yeah that's merch you go nuclear yeah because though that i guess i there's some things that i think are like catastrophic that other people don't see that way and i'll send a text like this can't happen or something and it comes out like i'm being mean but i don't mean it should be that way wait also by the way i feel like we just had a new shirt come out we did have a new shirt come out i got a new shirt come out it is live we will long sleeve is long sleeve and it's lovely and it's a permitting division of the building department which is a joke we did a year and a half ago sure we're gonna we gotta bring it back now we are bringing it back next week you have

any uh oh yeah send us your if you have any people that we can call and tell them that like their deck or fence or lawn lawn is uh needs you know isn't meeting city regulations basically we're the we're the permitting division of the building department and we will call your parents and tell them that something with their house is wrong and we're gonna come fix it that episode was still top tier that episode was awesome so dms i felt so bad for her but that was so fucking funny oh the fence was the lady whose fence was too high come take a couple inches off the top she cried she did she cried the girl dm'd us and was like i have a video of it but it's honestly not it's just sad yeah uh but yeah dm us your parents phone number and what's wrong with the

house if you want us to prank call them next week bingo we'll put something on instagram too um okay well don't forget monday episode next week monday i i like this pitch the second thoughts but honestly i feel like it might get in the way of you just like being yourself and sometimes you have to be kind of an asshole in situations wait i'm sorry how does it work exactly you know just be like this this text is coming off it's like a built-in thing are you sure you want to send instagram does that now if you try and dm someone late night it'll go it's two in the morning are you sure you want to send this really awesome no way yeah that's fucked up who are you trying to dm at two in the morning uh you know mook from barstool no he posted something apparently

he tried to dm someone you up and it said like it's 129 maybe consider sending this tomorrow morning that's so funny damn love that guy um i like it i think it could be good perhaps yeah all right next pitch is from albos albos albos friday albos 3197 he or she says hi lauren in the grimpleys my name is austin i don't know where to send submissions for pitches but here's mine what's the worst part about really hot or really cold weather the electric The electric company. The electric company. The electric bill is too high.

I was going to say like your car. You have to like heat up your car or cool down your car before you can get in it. The electric bill. Yeah. The electric bill, of course. Introducing the air saver, which collects hot air during the summer and cold air during the winter. Once you need to switch up the heat in the winter, the saved up summer air will slowly pour into the air ducts and help you cut your bill and vice versa in the summer with saved winter air. now you might be wondering how the air keeps its temperature the large tank attached to your house

has high-tech insulation to keep it the same temp until it's needed i don't know i'm a high-level guy myself so i'm not sure exactly how it works thank you guys for the pot each week and here's to a great 2025 i like that i'm picturing too that it's just a structure the exact size of your house right next to yours let's just keep it like where are you keeping all this air it's gonna be as big as your house i feel like i love it it would be it would give you like vietnam flashbacks though because the air would smell like your life six months ago oh my god like you make cookies yeah and then they come back in someone like you're like x like you broke up with a girl and then like it's pumped back in in the summer someone farted near it oh yeah i like this idea though

i think you're on to something i think it's uh it's like a solar panel thing where it'd be like a lot of cost up front but then it'll pay off over the years yeah yeah i like it i like it i'm in all right guys what is the worst part about uh what's the worst part about your mouth in the morning covered in blood um can be dry your breath you have morning breath yes and sometimes i want to do my morning routine before i brush my teeth but i'm like walking around with like bad breath you know what i mean like i don't want to brush my teeth and then have my coffee and then have to like brush again i want to like make breakfast and eat and then brush my teeth whatever but i don't want to like be walking around with like rank mouth uh this is the

morning breath death it's an elixir that temporarily just shuts down your morning breath so you can go to the coffee shop without having to like talk like sometimes like i'll be like talking like away from the barista because i don't want to like it's like waft dude my breath in the morning is nothing you leave your home without brushing your teeth sometimes that's gross cool won't open up anymore i guess i don't do that and like i want to be like if i was going to the coffee shop down the street you'd brush your teeth before i cannot leave my house without brushing or like if someone if like your like boyfriend is in the bed with you you don't want to like talk to them with bad breath you don't want to like kiss them on the mouth um and with

this i wouldn't want to kiss lauren's boyfriend on the mouth either way yeah sure no offense uh This way you can stunt your morning breath and you can talk to your significant other. You can make breakfast. You can do anything without having to brush your teeth first and then have to brush again after. Okay. Yeah. What is the elixir? What is it comprised of?

You just drink it. New from Nespresso. Blend wellness into your coffee routine with the Coffee Plus range. Infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins. like coffee plus b12 to help support immune function and coffee plus b6 to keep your day moving or go with the flow and choose ginseng delight our new double espresso with ginseng extract whatever lies ahead don't change your morning let your morning change you

discover coffee plus on espresso.com drink mouthwash i don't really totally think i have the i don't maybe i'm just not self-aware but i don't worry that much about my breath because i feel like i don't interact with people before like i get up and i make my coffee and i drink my coffee and then i brush my teeth before i like go anywhere oh i do coffee first before i shower brush my teeth anything and then i come home and do it that's what i'm saying yeah but i have bad breath but like who who are you seeing in that time the barista my girlfriend my roommate you're that close to the barista the girlfriend one is the one that makes sense yeah but i also talk to the barista but you're getting your mouth so close you can smell your breath she's like how

is your morning i'm like good how close are you to the barista there's like a countertop in between us yeah she's not gonna smell your breath across the counter she might it's rank in the morning i gotta get a whiff of your breath next time next time we're sleeping together yeah like in a hotel room not sexually lauren jesus it smells like i want to get it i want to get it we could do a test in the morning where i'll see how far away you'll literally vomit okay cool i'm down it's My breath smells like roadkill in the morning. Is that because you eat roadkill? You know when your dog rolls around in something and they come and you're like, oh!

It's like, what could that possibly be? That's what it smells like. You should get a Listerine partnership. Listerine, if you're listening. I used to eat those tabs, you know, the little tape? Oh, yeah. The Listerine tape. Yeah, those things are gass.

I used to eat that like it was my job. It'd give me a headache. I'd be walking around like buzzed. All right, you want to hear mine? Yep. this is called the image protector so we we already know they're looking at all everyone's phones and everything and who's that the nsa the government or the companies that we the chinese apple the chinese the government that net and yahoo who knows they're all looking at our phone

net and yahoo are doing it yeah anyway yoohoo chocolate milk probably looks at it too um the nets um okay anyway what am i saying the image protector i know what it is so it can it compiles every photo that you're in on other people's phones it's an app you get and then you can swipe through and approve their existence so that you can control if something like because if you take like a horrible photo of me i can't delete that yeah i'll never know and then you could post that someday and then it's like oh god what so it's yeah but lauren would you like lauren like scrolls through the pictures that i have of the three of us and like only keeps the good ones right what if i look good in one and lauren looks like well the image protector would show you that

one and then you could save it yourself too wouldn't we that wouldn't that just cancel each other out like if i like it but lauren hates it oh then it's gone then it's gone no lauren gets I think, but I think she has the right to want it gone. Yeah. If she looks, yeah, you get to protect your image. No one can have a photo of you that you don't like. I like that. I'm worried about what's going to come out if we.

Well, that would be the nightmare. It's like, yeah. If we start doing, if we start doing really, really well, there's people that could take us down a couple of pegs. I'm worried there's a picture of my butt on, on. There are many pictures of my butt. I'm worried there's a picture of my butt online, on the web. speaking of uh pictures last night i'll put it right here we went to dinner and uh we were like

let's get dessert let's be fun and so you're like we'll get this we'll get the sundae and i thought the guy was just gonna bring out the sundae it was you don't you order like fajitas and now like the whole restaurant's looking at you he brought out the sundae on a giant cart and made it in front of you that's awesome it was awesome but it was like now the whole restaurant like wants one and like yeah you could tell he didn't he was like he was like reading through the desserts it was like a verbal menu and he kind of skipped over that one because he like clearly wanted you to get like the cannolis or whatever that you just like bring to you yeah we're like you know we'll do this sunday and he's like fuck he came back with this giant card made it in front of us

and it was like the size of the whole it was like this the sunday was like this big but it was in like a cup this big was it's ospy oh nice in uh brentwood and uh isn't there one here too there is one here and uh this is this ospy used to be jemma jemma demar but now it's ospy um jemma demar it is an offshoot of ospy but more seafood and uh and the sundae was giant it fell over at one point we were making it we were making the quite the spectacle like we were eating because of the at the bottom there was like a cake and so we were like kind of like just like like not paying attention to the ice cream and trying to like get to the bottom but like we compromised the structural integrity because like all the

middle is missing because we're clearly trying to just get to the bottom and then it collapsed and then uh and then we we were dripping it all over the table and i tried to clean it up with the napkins but the napkins weren't like absorbent so it just smeared it everywhere is this it no yeah that's it oh okay but no no no we'll put a picture of us with it bro that is not what you described it your hands were this far apart oh no look how big this thing is so yeah look that's the cart that's the card oh i'm drooling this is my dream come true that looks delicious i'd rather have a brownie on the bottom there's a tres leches cake at the bottom oh but look at it like next to us

i guess it's not really doing it justice but yeah that's that is i think that looks delicious but That is not what you described. You said it was this big. It's the size of my head. I exaggerate. It's the size of my head. You didn't think she was going to pull up receipts like that? No, I didn't.

I didn't think it was going to be that easy to find online. The story's not as cool if it's a normal-sized Sunday. I mean, it still looks unreal. Wait, how did we get onto that? We were talking about it. How did that come up? We were talking about something. All right, should we do This Guy Rocks?

This Guy Rocks. This Guy Rocks. this guy rocks today all right pause this a second you get it lauren so you know inflation is inflation's taking hold of of families across the nation people are feeling the effects in different ways this is a girl and it says pov you can't be hung over in peace because twix is 175 okay if you asked me how much a twix was i would probably that sounds like a fair price right this dad does not think so he is barging into the room and he cannot believe the new price so let's give it a shot what happened how much was it a dollar 75 dear for this little package

of twits salad nothing that's crazy look at this thing here for a dollar 75 but it has two twits bars in there good grief yeah that thing is tiny good grief dear i like i keep saying deer he cannot believe it I mean I'm a little astonished too now I don't even really know what they go for they almost got him back on she was like there's two Twix and he was like what he's never had a Twix

no I feel like he buys one every day and like the price just went up if you're noticing like a 25 cent increase you're no rookie to the Twix game I like dads I can't wait to be that

that upset about something i know well this talk about a cool dad this is the type of dad you and i are gonna be okay this is a dad he's already dressed like a miller highlife and a roll a green tape measure a tape measure okay and he opens it with it it's sick oh this is gonna be awesome oh is that awesome yeah i always i feel like growing up i was irrationally scared of tape measurers like when you would click the thing and it would slurp all in i was so worried my finger was gonna get like well i feel like that's like a rational fear because everyone gets like stung by one once yeah and then you're skittish around it forever what about like escalators you

ever worry you're gonna get like stuck inside of it i saw a video of of it like opening up and like collapsing and this dad just something like missed it by a hair jesus and that scared me oh i saved it one time i was a hero i've never told you this this was i forgot about this this was like three or four years ago i was flying somewhere and i was in i think i was in logan airport or somewhere and a old lady i was at the base of the escalator like my gate was right there and a lady started going up and she fell backwards with her suitcase down the escalator it was like tumbling down it and i so i ran up it and like caught her and like held her in my arms all the way to the top and then i got there and then like some medics came over and i just left and got on

my flight but my god i had my headphones in the whole time that's what i remember the funniest part being like it was like chaos but i had like taylor swift blasting in my ears or something and i was like i have no idea what they're saying like everyone is like yelling stuff at me but like i had her so i couldn't move my headphones oh my god but yeah you start making out and then me and her started making out and an old asian woman on the escalator yeah you see that video the grandma lose her suitcase on the escalator it takes everyone out on the way down yeah going down It's like, boom, boom, boom. I have seen that.

I want to see. Have you seen the old lady who tries to go down an escalator with a shopping cart? No. We'll watch that after. Dude, they have that in the Star Market in Chestnut Hill that I used to go to. The grocery store, it was on the second floor. Yeah. So they had a separate thing that you would, it went right next to the escalator, and you

would put your cart full of groceries, and it would go down next to you. Oh, nice. It would lock in. It was cool. Is this the video? Probably Yeah, it's all time Nice

She almost got away from it Oh, I don't even think that's the one I was thinking of It isn't, but this one Oh my gosh Holy shit Oh my god Yeah, it is this, it's this What kind of moron does this?

No time to send it down ahead of them Oh my god Did she hear it? Oh no she gets absolutely caught it's going like mock three

oh my god she probably got a bag yeah oh my god alright look up look up granny granny shopping cart escalator

look up granny crazy moments look up craziest granny moments this is this is one of my favorite as well oh no

oh no oh i'm scared what does she think's gonna happen not this just ass over tea kettle that sound was dramatic jesus granny wilding yeah granny falls we need to bring back more youtube videos titled like that granny falls down the escalator i know okay that's definitely sound effects 100 she didn't explode uh oh lauren have you seen grandma's home no look up grandma's home on youtube oh my gosh you're gonna love this all right we gotta we can't do we gotta stop doing so

many videos we haven't done any grandma's home car like car car thing scroll down no that video is crazy though yeah scary grandma what ew this yeah oh dude i've seen this well have you seen this yeah it just goes crazy i thought i was gonna get one of it you think i have i think i've watched this video 4 000 times grandma's home guys this episode is brought to you by southern comfort with a one-of-a-kind blend of fruit and spices soco whiskey is the original ready for anything spirit satisfying on its own and ideal in any mixed drink southern comfort is easy to enjoy however you drink it and whoever you drink it with we think soco can go with everything but you be the judge find your

comfort zone and try out a cocktail today i am a big fan of soco and personally i like to keep it simple i do some soco uh with diet coke nice and on the rocks ever heard of it kind of makes you feel a little classy yeah a little puts make hey barkeep soco on the rocks and then everyone at the bar turns around they're like who is that guy yes exactly what do you think the best place to enjoy some soco is you ready hit me talking bottle top of the pyramid uh on your porch yep uh on your back porch yep at the beach side porch on your side porch on your side porch with your side piece amen so co for to drink on your side porch with your side piece no matter the moment southern comfort is ready for anything packed with flavor mixes with anything and easy to drink

we challenge you all out there to find your comfort zone try out some southern comfort mixed drinks and send us your favorites we will shout out the best ones on a future pod pick up some southern comfort today let's get back into the episode all right should we do teach me something teach me something are you guys familiar with the knocker up no the knocker up was a like profession in the late 18th century early 9th century in england obviously the alarm clock didn't exist and so there was a guy whose job was to go around and wake up all the townsfolk but so he you would tell him like i want to be up at like 7 45 he'd walk around and if he could reach your window he would just tap on it and he'd wake up but if he couldn't he would shoot peas at

your window until you woke up with like a slingshot that's awesome you'd just be asleep and you got and then you'd be like i got it i'm up but he would get flinging peas at your window that sounds fantastic i i knock her up like the verbiage was like i just got knocked up i don't know in the knock i'm gonna go knock her up that's what i thought that's what they call them the knocker that's kind of sick peas were they frozen i think they just weren't boiled yet yeah i guess that makes sense pink pink pink pink pink you ever do this thing what just happened isn't that a crazy noise what was i supposed to hear what did it sound like girl girl girl wait really it sounded like girl yeah it's supposed to sound like

cool doesn't sound like it sounds like it sounds like you're saying girl through your hand yeah it makes like a crazy noise it's like goy doy mixed together it just sounds like you're a girl no what do i do it do it do it okay i hear it now i hear it this is awesome i hate that teach me something willie lauren loved that right yeah oh okay this was something sort of a fun fact i encountered uh do you know what the most streamed song ever on spotify is all i want for christmas is it gangnam style i think that was before spotify maybe even oh most streamed song on spotify yeah hotline bling yeah that was definitely right or maybe that was i might have what is it blinding lights by the weekend oh yeah it sounds awesome i know i just took i don't think

i've ever like looked up and listened to that song i've only ever heard it like in like a target or something he i couldn't believe that this is the most streamed song ever hmm it's interesting i don't know and here look i pulled up the top 10 so we could have discourse nice how many of them are drake and how many of them are taylor swift um i feel like drake wouldn't really be up there i think drake does numbies he does but i feel like other people do more ed sheeran i bet ed sheeran has a couple ed sheeran is number two what does he have he's uh shape of you yeah shape of you i'm in love with the shape number three is someone you love by lewis capaldi the song pisses me off i like that one as it was star boy as it was i think the weekend maybe i just don't

get not i don't get his appeal like i like some of his tunes i just don't like i never like go put on the weekend i like his old like the morning is one of my favorite songs interesting do you know they do you know how much money they make from they make like uh 0.4 cents per stream or something so if you have a song with like a couple billion listens you made so much money just from spotify you wouldn't even have to tour that crazy yeah that's crazy i know i can't even fathom like ty was explaining to me like how like the music industry works because i was like how do these guys make their money he was like if you have like one hit like you're chilling forever that's the plan uh all right should we get into our am i the assholes let's do it all right am i

the asshole for not attending my best friend's wedding because of my ex i have a best friend sarah who is getting married next month the problem is my ex is also invited because we're in the same friend group we broke up about a year ago and while things are simple i still feel uncomfortable being around him especially at such a big event i told sarah that i might not be able to come because i'm not sure how i will handle seeing my ex there she was really upset and said that i was being selfish and ruining her special day she insists that i should just move past it and that our friendship means more than my discomfort i'm really torn because i want to be there for her but i also don't want to force myself into a situation where i will feel

emotionally drained yeah you're making you're making this about you wait it's her friend's wedding it's her best friend's wedding and she's not gonna yeah that's fucking insane you're making it all about you and you're a bad person you're a bad person yeah you're the asshole you're yeah very cut and dry you're the asshole there's unless you're unless your ex is like a literal murderer yeah and you're worried he's gonna murder you you have to go yeah that's insane okay cut and dry she wouldn't want to be there at her friend's wedding yeah that's like she's she wants that she wants the bride to be like okay he's uninvited yeah that's crazy okay am i am i the asshole for telling my teacher that the whole class is cheating yes i got into a new class

and realized that literally everyone is cheating all texts probably supposed to say tests tests are just copy and paste even when the teacher's asking something they would search online for an answer and exams they have a second phone with them to cheat as all of their responses are correct the teachers would start comparing my text okay they wrote this so poorly my text with ai made tests and they always got better grades it's affecting my grades due to the comparison but it's but on the other hand it's not my business uh either start cheating or stop complaining about it if everyone else is cheating and getting away with it you should stop caring about this class and just start cheating i don't think you should narc them out did you guys ever get in trouble

for cheating yeah i almost didn't graduate oh i think really i never told you this story in high school college i uh it was right when oh your paper oh yeah right when chat gbt came out i got busted for using it i got caught in middle school same for i gave people answers on homework which feels like not yeah even bad but yeah but i was so devastated i was sobbing i thought it was my life was over were you the valedictorian yeah that's why it didn't it didn't affect it no i know but i was thought that's why i thought i was gonna lose everything man yeah i the only time i think that it's fair to maybe intervene is if you're in a group project and one kid refuses to do the work and is like bringing cheating no like bringing your like the

only time i think you should like maybe say something to the teacher is like if your grade is being affected because a kid's not yeah doing something yeah i agree but i definitely yeah i i got caught cheating uh freshman year of college first day first like finals that i took were in during covid yeah and i had all the answers and uh i just had the answers on one doc and the test on the other i just swiped back and forth to get the answers yeah and my teacher emailed me and was like there are 147 questions on the test and you left the test 147 times he was like email me by the end of the day or i'm gonna give you a zero and i just said that so many people were home for covid that i had to refresh the page after every question which made

no sense and he was like oh i'm so sorry for accusing you of that so many people are home for covid i said like my wi-fi my router was like like like overwhelmed because there were so many people on the wi-fi that's funny i uh here's an ethical dilemma actually this is kind of in the realm of cheating but it happened so i won trivia last week there i go bringing him uh very oh that's exciting i guess that's new news i haven't been first yeah first ever trivia win however before trivia we were sitting around the house and we were like man we got to be locked in there's always like pop culture stuff that we don't that we're not like very there's always like a few questions that are like hyper relevant to like news this week and so we looked

up like new trivia this week new topical trivia yeah and it was like an npr link and we read the through the questions at our house beforehand one of the rounds ends up being three of the questions from that npr thing verbatim that being said i feel like you were just studying though exactly we had no idea yeah you didn't know if we do it again though oh yeah like you found this well that's on that's kind of like the old thing of like if the teacher is too lazy to make their own questions it's not it's not your fault for tape for exploiting that yeah i think you should milk that until unless you want to because you have to you have to assume someone else has also figured this out at june shine i wouldn't continue to do it or i think

you are cheating yeah okay i mean also to be fair the three questions we knew we all knew one of us knew the answer to each of them like we would have gotten all three i think you should so there's no asterisk it's easy to say that in hindsight no i mean like i know for a fact you should tell you know what you should do because jerry quizzed me on them when we were looking through the questions and i got them all you should do this is what you should do going into it's tomorrow right yeah continue to look at that link and then after tomorrow if he does it again go to the mc and say hey i just want to put this on your radar i don't think i'm gonna look at the link ever again really yeah i don't want the asterisk this time was fine because we

knew the answers and jerry had quizzed me on them and i had gotten them when he went through the npr thing so it was like obvious that we didn't cheat but i don't want i'm all that i would let them know i would let them know that people know because someone else is doing it too i don't know that now you're gonna be at a disadvantage it's not that it's not that many teams consistently that i don't know that anyone is doing them i don't know but also i forgot i got family guide in irl oh yeah at the bar at trivia last week like you told us oh no you said it during the live stream yeah a guy came up to me and said dude you gotta meet my buddy brian he's the dog which is your line i'm shocked i was like yeah i'd love to meet i mean i was just not expecting

it in the least i was like yeah for sure he's like great yeah he's the dog and i was like yeah sounds great i'd love to meet him and then he said get family guy and walked away troy and his friend tried to family guy me on saturday really back yeah we were we were at uh this bar tony p's and marina or yeah good girl have you guys been there yeah and we were about to go to jameson's and his friend damon was like oh uh peter and joe like we have to go now because pete my friends peter and joe waiting for us at jameson's like he had never talked with them it didn't last very long but they they tried to prank me yeah family got it right get used to it yeah there was trivia trivia is always like a contentious uh i don't know the contentious is probably not the wrong word like

it's a cutthroat game where they're you have to assume there's at least one team cheating like no phil and i would go to this trivia in maine and it's clear because it'll be guys that like look like us and they'll know stuff that we definitely don't know and you would assume that they probably wouldn't know it either and there's just a lot a lot of a lot of bathroom going is all i'm gonna say i think there is a special special place in hell for someone who treats cheats at bar trivia yep i think that is the most fucked up thing of all time we i don't think people do it at ours i'd be really shocked if people were cheating are there any people that are like jeopardy level people at that trivia what do you mean like they you know there are

people that take trivia really seriously and they go to the ones to like prep for actual jeopardy and stuff no i mean there are some good teams but like i mean we won what's your team name turbo team yeah yeah why do you feel like trivia trivia name is names for trivia teams is always a good you can tell how good a team is going to be based off how clever their name is dude i used to have a well we used to go ahead the the trivia i grew up going to i'll go every wednesday with liam rowley at the alley in charleston and the alley cats used to run that shit but we would go and we'd be the quizlamic state and uh we'd do horribly every week but we had fun but we were like under eight we were like 16 years old yeah it would let us into the bar just because we knew

the guy running trivia and we'd drink coke and get nachos but then when i came out here the first trivia day was brennan's and i put the quizlamic state and i walked up and the guy was like yeah i remember that and i was like oh we should do trivia name trivia team names that don't exist yeah we should come up yeah yeah i can't i mean yeah i mean i guess it's not funny but i don't think there's anything wrong with that there goes woke california again yeah all those libs trying to shut down all our fun the woke the woke the woke california one let me do trivia uh should we do our drafts yeah let's do them i feel like i'm watching you ew why are you picking your nose right in front of me i wasn't okay earlier you were telling a story and will was

picking his nose for like 20 seconds you feel like you're watching me do that is not true yeah you i will picking my nose yeah and you were like flicking he's literally never done that wait i was not pinking my nose yeah wait what what were you gonna say you feel like you're watching what tv oh oh i know what you're talking about i had something on my nose like a crust oh I was getting it off to the side here, right? Yeah, you were. Yeah, that wasn't booger. That wasn't booger.

Oh my god, one more thing. My roommate got Pepto-Bismol'd. Have you guys seen this new thing? No. I don't think it's a new thing, but I have a memory of it. Someone poured an entire bottle of Pepto-Bismol on his car. What? Isn't that awesome?

What are you talking about? His car was parked in the street and someone... I think it's an awesome prank. Is that a thing? as far as i know he's the first guy to get pep to abysmal but he it was devastating oh that's disgusting uh did i ever tell you my friend brendan got greek yogurted in high school we still never figured it out we wrote a soundcloud song about it but we were in this we're in the studio recording a new soundcloud song oh yes and someone threw an entire thing of chobani on the

hood of his car we still have no idea what it is i have a hood of the car is a lot better than it like hit oh definitely better than the inside but it like hit the hood and went up the went up the windshield wait but the pepto-bismol is inside no no no no they just poured it out on the outside of his car he's like a mini cooper in his car no they don't he doesn't know who did it no we don't have any friends that live near us so it was definitely just someone it was an anarchist i don't know you see like you see like a homeless guy with heartburn the next day i bet it was this guy that's like i always uh when my car got stolen in college they took all my sweatshirts and i had just a vision of myself seeing a kid in a bait sweatshirt a homeless guy

in a bait sweatshirt be the brakes off that's so sad losing all your sweatshirts dude i kept i kept two of my coolest sweatshirts under the seats of my jeep so if people were sitting in the back and the top was off and they got cold they could put it on and they took all my sweatshirts and i had like a pair of flip-flops in there and they just replaced it with their own stuff so like when i got my car back there were like my flip-flops were gone but two vans with flames on the side were in there there were receipts for like needles they took my sweatshirts but left theirs i was like why why would they leave theirs that's what was so like there was no rhyme or reason to it it was like that's very bizarre they were thieves but they were like

it was like a take a book leave a book situation a little free library yeah i remember just being like if i i'm gonna one of these days i'm gonna leave the bar and there's gonna be some like addict in a bait sweatshirt yeah and you were gonna beat up the homeless addict beat it well that was how we were gonna catch him is they had receipts for needles yeah and so we went to the c the cops went to the cvs and they could see like a shadow like we need to get better security cameras it just does nothing they were like yeah we know he's a human he appears to have two arms so he has all of his limbs he's a bi bioped is that what it's called uh bisexual bisexual he's like banging a guy and a girl like okay that never really narrows it down all right let's draft let's

draft all right new from nespresso blend wellness into your coffee routine with the coffee plus range infused with functional benefits choose the coffee you love with added b vitamins like coffee plus b12 to help support immune function and coffee plus b6 to keep your day moving or go with the flow and choose ginseng delight our new double espresso with ginseng extract whatever lies ahead don't change your morning let your morning change you discover coffee plus on espresso.com which one do you want to do listen i'm not doing dry january wait do that do that again all right i know we're not doing dry january but all listen i know we're not doing dry january but what are we doing this year uh this year i'm taking part in cloggist where every day of august

i have to clog my toilet wow that is like the opposite of no flush february it rinks by the end of february it rinks rinks reeks um let's see tricks with my vape roll that's where i learned a trick with my vape every day of april how about you um i'm really excited about crowvember yeah where every day for november i have to trap a crow and put them in a room until i have 31 crows that'll be fun yeah what is it 31 november 29 30 30 days has no there's a leap year in november there's 30 in november there's never a 31st okay well one day i get two i guess uh uh hunched over july speaks for itself right um

uh i yeah i'm really excited for march march where every day of march you have to find a new uh thing to you know protest in march about i love that uh noseless november you know about that one no oh you're doing it you're getting a head start dude i am i'm stoked for fast february where you see you can go the longest without eating oh fun yeah super bowl shit stain september i accidentally did this one last year but this year it's a thing we killed this draft um yeah this was awesome i'm my my last one really really excited about prune june oh uh you have to either drink a glass of prune juice or sit in the bath until your entire body prunes that's fun every day yeah i like that we should do this draft more often yeah i like that you liked it yeah you

like us do you think we're fun to hang out do you think people like us you got lauren we'll put we'll put lauren's reaction right here when you said shit stay in september she almost fell out of her chair oh wow uh all right well guys tiktok is gone so here are the apps that you should keep an eye out for to replace it pov pov influencers get to just show you the best part of their day now every person on pov if they're a creator has to strap a gopro to them and you can tune in and just watch their day in real time i love that uh data funnel it's an app where you sign up give your info and they take all your data just right away so you don't have to do any of the scrolling or other nonsense you just give them all of your data information immediately can i can i just say

outside of the draft i don't care i don't care if they have my data yeah what are they gonna do with it i don't know oh half and half yeah i'm really excited about half and half when you post a video it immediately pairs it with either a podcast clip or um like a bottle falling down the stairs so that people don't get bored when they're watching your video. I love that. Scroll link. This is a way that you can actually still use TikTok.

It connects you to another guy who's wearing a GoPro in India and he's scrolling and you just watch through his GoPro and kind of see everything he's looking at. I like that a lot. I'm really excited to get on Poopster. Oh, yeah.

It's social media for your bowel movements and every time you have like a massive grumpy, you can share it with your friends. Love that. Mike's Feed. it's a app we can scroll through all it's just mike's out one guy named mike's algorithm so instead of having a personalized algorithm everyone will slowly develop the same interests and mike will lead us i like that a lot yeah uh recipe every time you have a meal you post it

has the ingredients you can click a button to order it and everyone can eat your food that's good thank you that's a good app idea yeah i know i accidentally snuck that one in i accidentally did a good one uh camera scroll it's just your own camera roll but you can like stuff and comment i i would like to if it if you could go and look at other people's camera roll yeah if they open if they add you on camera scroll yep uh musically it's nothing like the old musically it's just uh if i'm listening to music you can join in and listen to what i'm listening to in real time love it uh zorpok this one sucks don't use zorpok no one get zorpok willie whose personality you're gonna steal this week uh i'm stealing uh i'm stealing lil lil wayne's personality

because i'm going to new orleans on saturday we oh yeah you're going a day early i'm going a day early you're getting really into going a day early to places what else have i done i feel you've done that before or stay a day late i genuinely don't know what you're referencing have i done that yeah thanks yeah you're like a nomad i just i think it's cool i think it's an admirable trait like you want to be in i was like oh i could go saturday too and he's like i think i just want to do it alone yeah i think that'll be fun i like i like being alone in a city makes me feel like an adult yeah i'm excited um i'm gonna steal drew breeze uh because this is when i'm in new orleans everyone's gonna revere me once i leave and want me back amen to that

Lauren, whose personality are you going to steal? I'm going to steal one of the hosts of one of those home renovation shows because I'm about to move in like a week and I want to just embody someone who's like excellent at designing a new place. What's that guy, Ty? Ty Stimmel? No, that's my roommate. Ty, the Extreme Home Makeovers guy.

Ty Wanoff? Ty something. I know who you're talking about. But he, you're going to, I like, my favorite thing about that guy one of the kids will be like I have a basketball game on Thursday and they just make his entire room basketball there was one kid who said

he was like going paintballing that weekend and they made his room like an entire paintball thing and like just dispose paintballs and he was clearly not stoked about it dispose? like there were like jars where he could fill up his guns alright we love you guys

we will see you on Monday for our first Monday episode Monday episode Monday Woo Oh Yikes Love you

Love you guys Oh episode What was this 73 Oh yeah we forgot to do it last week too 73 73 One of the Dallas Cowboys line men

Richie Incognito Yeah 68 Whoever this guy is Yeah that guy Perfect Oh Ollie Ollie

Ollie Williams Good family guide Good family guide Let's go what is that who is that how's the weather out there ollie it's gonna rain this guy looks crazy uh no it's ollie from ollie from last chance you 63 okay all right someone who wears 73 later oh let's do let's do someone who is 73 uh walt uh Oh, Mayor West.

Mayor West. That's Family Guy. Good Family Guy again. Good Family Guy again. All right, Peter Griffin. We love you guys. Have a great rest of your week, and we will see you on Monday. when it comes to recycling be recycle ready preparing materials for the bin ensures they

are ready to be recycled here's a few tips empty containers and give them a quick rinse flatten and break down any cardboard place recyclables clean dry and loose in your bin Thank you for recycling and making a difference. Learn more at CircularMaterials.ca. Ready? Recycle. Repeat. Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad? I get it.

I'm Siaya and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today I'm still figuring it out. somehow things usually get worse before they get better apparently that's how i roll so bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride stream a new episode of north of north tuesdays on cbc gem