Will & Rusty's Playdate - we counted every squirrel in los angeles

Episode Date: August 27, 2025

On this viral Playdate, Rusty deals with an unwanted visitor from his walk to the office, Willy performs acorn math, and the boys share college hook up stories for the ages. The gang also discusses fantasy football punishments, laser tag, and age gaps in relationships. Plus, the boys draft more sayings that don’t exist and casino games that don’t exist. As always, we wrap up with Rusty’s song of the day. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP OUR MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/ RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: Use code: SUMMER in stores, online or on the Shack app to get your last taste of summer. https://shakeshack.app.link/summeralmostfriday So next time you’re craving something cold, frothy, and packed with unapologetic flavor — crack open a MUG Root Beer. Find MUG Root Beer at your local store or head to https://www.mugrootbeer.com/find-mug to find out how you can get your paws on some MUG and be sure to throw them a follow online, @MUGRootBeer. Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @MUDWTR with code PLAYDATE at mudwtr.com/PLAYDATE! #mudwtrpod00:00 - Intro 00:53 - Bird Poop 4:40 - Acorn Math 12:30 - Bathroom Stories 24:48 - College Hook Ups 33:20 - High School Sports 40:04 - Laser Tag 42:50 - Roadmap 44:47 - Pitches 1:05:15 - AITA 1:12:12 - This Guy Rocks 1:20:59 - Teach Me Something 1:27:26 - Casino Games That Don’t Exist 1:31:07 - Sayings That Don’t Exist 1:34:08 - Rusty’s Song of the Day #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

we are rolling playmate playmate playdate playdate i knew it i knew that sounded weird i know uh episode 135 wow kevin durant and he's 135 who's someone that's 35 willie i'm into that someone who's 35 andrew brody jenner bro oh there's gotta be he's gotta be old passing down back 41 41 damn ah fuck you know what you know what kevin kevin durant will suffice tank bigsby although i think he is like a bolt guy not as much of a passing down oh no is he number four college tank bigsby college no he's four at auburn too fuck um i have a i have something interesting that happened to me this morning willie hit me i was walking in and right as i walked under a tree like a dollop of like brown something

like landed on my hand poop that was my first instinct but then i was like birds poop white yeah this was like just like like it almost looked like a like muddy rainwater like it wasn't a solid poop either squirrel maybe but then now you're in the position where you're like first i was i was halfway to the office before i realized like i don't have to balance it on there wait you caught it no no it was like i was whole i can't remember what i was holding but i was holding something like this and it landed on like that part of my hand and so i was just walking in like kind of like making sure it didn't fall off like a flag i don't know oh i was holding my hydro flask that's what it was like this and uh and it something landed on my hand i'm i'm banking on that it

was tree water but i think i'm i think you smell it yeah it didn't smell like poop oh it's probably just tree water then or but is tree water like a thing that is that sounds like i made that up well so it's like a cartoon problem to have like no guy has ever actually gotten pooped on by a bird i've been pooped on by a bird when like years ago i feel like a lot of people yeah i've definitely been pooped on by a bird yeah i think it may be multiple times even maybe i was young and they were like it's good luck and i was i was like old enough to know like it's not good luck they're just trying to make me feel better uh i just think they're just trying to make me feel better like that's like a chill i had one recently actually now i like can't remember what the

context was that's like a disney movie when it's like the first day of high school and they're like oh great this day couldn't get any like it doesn't so it's like i don't know anyone i guess now i know two guys that it's happening maybe i think i would bet you that more than 50 of the population has been pooped on by a bird and you pull that up pull up how many people have been pooped on by a bird how many people have been pooped on by a bird what are lifetime odds of that's actually good estimation the reddit people are smart estimation we just want pooped on twice in the last week to that guy so that's guys 15 has been pooped on twice no ai over so by that math if you made it to 75 you'd be pooped on 10 times in your lifetime have you seen the video where

they feed the seagulls laxatives yes and oh my god it is just like a rainstorm yeah it looks like it looks like normandy who does it these guys like put laxatives in like food and like waited for seagulls to come and then it it actually like i think it would give like a world war two veteran flat like ptsd i mean it was like eco-terrorism it was like oh no over there people yeah that was like what they were it was like a super can you show me yeah it's fucking crazy and so they pooping and it's just they pooping and it's falling down crazy right okay okay all right this is called idiots feed seagulls laxes this is tonight's dinner commitment word I don't think these guys are idiots at all, I think these guys might be the smartest.

Wait is that Venice? Yeah, this looks like Venice. Oh he's calling his friends up, he's like it's good, good to see you. It's so bad. Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. Oh my fucking god. Oh my fucking god.

Oh my fucking god. Oh my fucking god. Oh my fucking god. Oh my fucking god. Oh my fucking god. oh my fuck the baby the baby is like running for their lives like the marine the marine core that's the marine i don't know i don't know falling up on a four-wheeler when i was in when i was in college

there were uh there were these i think i talked about this but like the the squirrels in winter park were like a type of squirrel that i had never seen they're like black and they were like notoriously aggressive and i think they're like smarter than then pull up like black just like black squirrel it wasn't these exact ones they had like a white belly oh it's the ones with the fucking yeah no it's one with the this one yeah it's like kind of like that like they were like terrifying they look jacked and they were all they were like they kind of like owned the golf courses and they were just really like smart kind of scary squirrels but they would sit in the trees and they would throw their acorn shells down like at you and so like i had i had my old jeep and

you could fold the top back yeah and have kind of like a nice little convertible experience and if you were driving down the wrong street at the wrong time like if it was feeding time oh my they would it was like they were they would come down like and like nail you were they was it just like to fuck with people or was there like i think they're trying to like break them open i never yeah no no it my understanding of it was they were like throwing them at because it was like they unless unless there were a million of them they were like weirdly accurate because it would like hit your car would like hit your head or oh yeah what if it hit your nuts oh that yes let's explore that i think that because it's nuts like no oh no what no andrew dude here's my thing

with squirrels how many acorns do you need bro it's one winner like i feel like they are just hoarding i feel like it's like save some for the rest of us exactly what if i god forbid i want an acorn and then it's like right they took them all but i think acorns have probably like less than five calories and um yeah i'm trying to get skinny bro that's all that skinny delicious menu they probably need they yeah they probably need like a million how many i thought you meant like that i wouldn't eat them no like they that like if if we if like winter was coming and like restaurants didn't exist and the only source of food we had were like you know less than zero calories we'd yeah we'd have to we'd have to fucking hoard those things yeah but they're tiny they don't

need that many calories how many score how many calories squirrel caloric intake yes i bet i bet a squirrel eats 10 calories 20 calories a day yeah i guess they are the size of like your knee they did 180 now how many calories are in an acorn how many calories are in an acorn how many calories in a squirrel 110 wait no that's that's a serving of individual one acorn in one acorn okay well how many acorns in an ounce we can do like math on it how many wait how much what was the answer for this 180 no 110 okay and then how many acorns in an ounce

this is this is hard-hitting news right we're gonna figure out how many they really need what okay google um um pulp chachi bt 96 acorns to the pound a pound is 16 ounces 96 divided by 16 can you do that 96 16 so there's six acorns in an ounce so 110 divided by six god this is is this the right way to do this i would have done this differently so there's 20 there's 18 and roughly 20 we'll say 20 calories in an acorn okay and they more than i would have thought yeah and they need 180 so that means they need nine of those a day yeah nine acorns a day and there are 180 days in winter is that true i i give or take it's like

half the year is it yeah how long does how long is winter for squirrels can you google how long is winter for squirrels this has got to be fucking excruciating to listen no i actually think people are like wow they're breaking news how long is winter for squirrels well like i feel like they might have like a different squirrel under seven to eight months so oh wait wait wait no no that's arctic squirrels that hibernate we're talking average squirrel all right they need like they need like thousands of acorns we'll say 180 days three to three to nine so six so 180 days and they need nine acorns a day so you just do nine times 180 yeah that's how many acorns each squirrel needs the rest are for us the rest should be left for us yeah they need just six

squirrel needs 1620 acorns god that sounds like a fucking nightmare and that's with no like that's with no like cheat days too yeah if you binge you gotta if you if you have a lazy day you gotta go out and get a shit ton more acorns. Each squirrel gets 16, 20. Right. Leave the rest for us. Right. Alright, and Andrew, how many acorns in a tree? No, I'm just joking.

Well, now I'm curious. How many squirrels in a forest? There are... How many squirrels are in the average forest? I think it's... I think there are more than you'd think. I think 2,000. Okay. Every squirrel produces 2,000 in a year. Okay, so it's like a one-to-one

ratio of squirrels to trees? yeah oh my god that actually explains a lot you ever see like two squirrels like fucking ripping around a tree and you're like what do they be thinking about yeah one guy probably is like trying to take i mean he's like you can have 400 but if it's like tragedy of the commons they can't both try to get all of them okay last squirrel google i swear to god how many squirrels are in los angeles so we can figure out how many acorns there should be for us right right in a litter how many squirrels in the litter okay no precise count millions gotta be millions right i would say one to every there's one to every tree yeah

well there has to be i have no idea dude all these articles are on my birthday or the day before what the hell is up with that what are you talking about may 13th the one above it may 12th But what above that? Keep going. November 24th. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going.

May 12th. May 12th, yeah. Why are they all... I think it's the same. Some groundbreaking squirrel news happened the day before my birthday. I love squirrels' birthday. Okay, so there are...

r slash squirrels. Where would I be able to see squirrels in LA? He's only in town for a day. He's like, I gotta make it count. Sounds like here's the place for me. everyone's saying palisades palisades park on in santa monica which is right that's kind of sweet he's an aussie that's never seen this you've never seen a squirrel yeah that's i'll be in la super high on my list of things to see wow i kind of like this guy i was not a fan of them when i

was a kid there was a girl uh there was a girl that i grew up with who got bit by a fox nice whoa or sad and they called her sharky for the rest of her life like i think what because it looked like she had a shark bite like one day oh like she had like a fox bite one day and through high school i would assume her friends probably still call her that do you call me anything behind my back skid marks pooping pooping how many times a day would you have to poop for it to become like like people in the office there goes pooping no no like because that comes later at some at some point you have to people have to register like he's pooping a lot i don't think i think people have already registered that i'm peeing a lot willie simon in particular has said that every

time i've dapped him up my hand is wet and he's and i every time i say oh sorry i'm just it's just water yeah and he's like how is this every single time i mean there's definitely things that i do that are gross that i just it's just like a it's like a like a fixation like i just have to wash my hands or like i won't be able to like focus on it it's like i have to brush my teeth every night i shower which is like that's like next level like but i i think it makes sense because it's like most of the time i'm showering it's i shower every morning and then i shower before bed i used to like to brush my teeth in the shower get it all done in one place i like that but now it's like if i take like a random shower in the middle of the day i just have to take the

toothbrush and just do like at least with toothpaste usually yeah if i can whoa that's weird yeah that's like a tick yeah it's like like my teeth will feel unclean because to me the sensations of being clean from a shower is so heavily tied to the sensation of my teeth being clean because like that's my morning routine that's my nightly routine that i just if i do a shower out of cycle then i have to oh it's kind of like when you like when you eat lunch at work you have to go home and jerk off that one wasn't you didn't talk long enough for me to come up with a good one yeah like i had the i had the idea oh it's sort of like when uh edge calls into his office you bust yeah yeah okay so it's kind of like right after like right after our analytics

meeting you have to like go like shoot a huge load it's like when i make eye contact with andrew and my pants get hot what was that time you got a boner like in public um remember when that was a thing that was happening all the time no i feel like i feel like there have been like some some stragglers over the last like yeah a few years yeah where did i get a boner there was one time i don't know i get them on airplanes a lot oh yeah yeah i feel like i think the altitude yeah yeah that's weird i also think it's just your chair is vibrating like on the way up all right see where this goes there was one there was one time there was one time where i i talked myself off the ledge of like

like should i go in the bathroom and and go nuts on myself but then i was like that's crazy and so i'm just being honest that's the thing right like it's like not the mile high club but it's like the half mile close or something like that interesting i once i don't know if i want to confess let it fly i once doinked it in the philadelphia airport where the bathroom i was like the last flight out that night uh i was like 14 15 like 15 16 maybe oh yeah yeah i thought this was like 16 i think last flight out of philadelphia flight keeps getting delayed i'm just sitting there like just wanting to get bursting at home bursting at the seams we're literally like the last flight in the airport

so i go the bathroom's completely empty i go to the stall all the way in the corner and I masturbated in the Philadelphia airport. How long did it take you? And let me tell you, I have never felt worse about myself. Really? The post-nut clarity when you're in the Philadelphia airport handicap stall is next level. I might have just confessed to a crime.

I don't think that's fine. No. Also, you were a minor. Yeah. I mean, the good news is... You're 16. You can jack off anywhere legally. You're a minor.

what are they gonna do and it was after oh man it was after the the security guard looks to the crack you're like do something about it coward yeah it was after the penguins had just beaten the flyers to advance too i was there for a hockey game that energy was not good and well i think i was 16 at the time i had spent the whole weekend sharing hotel room with my family oh you know how you get like all oh all clogged up oh that's the and then they all flew home and i i changed my flight to stay and go to a i changed my flight to stay and jerk off no to stay a penguins flyers playoff game and the penguins won jake genzel scored four goals they let you go alone to a game at 16 yeah in another city that's kind of cool yeah it was kind of scary

the people were like giving me a lot of shit but yeah it's fine philly fans they're like they act tough but it's like yeah there was a kid in my dorm uh that was like a serial he was a serial jerker we had like we had like one um one like normal college dorm bathroom set up where there were like five showers and then there were two like handicap ones where like you it was just you it was like a room and the shower was like half the room and it was there was barely like enough of a indent in the ground to drain the water normally if the drain wasn't clogged fucking every time this guy would go in the whole floor the whole floor would flood because he would clog the drain with his jizz there's no way dude unless it was like he clogged the shower drain with his

oh this is like a no this is like a thing that happens it's like a it's like a prank they do what like have you ever seen those like photos of sides it's like please no more loads like it'll clog that's like oh those are always a prank yeah oh james cannot clog your rr that i i beg to differ it has it has happened in my it has happened in my can jig can jizz clog shower unless the ra was like also part of this prank he sent out like a thing like please stop whoever's doing whatever in the handicapped bathrooms please stop no it's highly unlikely that semen alone would ever clog a shower drain it's not viscous enough and the semen on its own is it going to clog a shower great and not unless you're producing

like a gallon of it every time you bust it's 95% water 95% wait so it won't this wasn't like you saw the guy clog it it was just like the ra put out the ra put this guy on blast no not this guy he was like who like whatever is happening in the in the bathrooms please please please stop maybe it was everyone was going in there and busting i don't think even everyone busting that was a thing at our at our corps cadets dorm they had like a sign that was like please stop jerking off into the shower as like a prank and i was looking for that to see if it was similar to the sign that you had seen did i like fall for a prank i think you might have gotten i think i've seen it on twitter before and stuff all all i know all i know i mean maybe this guy's my my

my drain never clogged as a kid until i until i started going to town on myself wait so you did it too yeah this is like a thing that happens you're like maybe it was like a combination of like hair and stuff but yeah they like the tub would yeah fill up a little more than you like it there's no way it's from come okay i hope not guys why does it feel like august is the sunday of summer every time i see a post about cozy season or pumpkin spice lattes i'm having some major sunday scaries vibes yeah let me can i just say it's bs it is bs tell them summer is here to stay we've got plenty of time left and all these brands are trying to rush us out of it hate it they drop you know they're dropping pumpkin spice like in august

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That's up to 43% off with code PLAYDATE at M-U-D-W-T-R dot com. Let's get back into the episode. Lauren's first post on girl beer A little derivative of dog of the week That's all I'm saying What was it? Girl of the week Fuck

Taylor Swift's back muscles Was dog of the week? Was girl of the week Oh that makes sense Back muscles There's gotta be something there Write that down Andrew what do you got cooking this week?

Google Taylor No Back muscles No don't No Back muscle jokes back muscles jokes did you guys ever uh do you guys ever uh hook up anywhere interesting in college did it ever hook up at me um usually just they're just bad just they're just they're bad

just their crotch no actually i usually just put it in their crotch there is a there is a there is a foreign exchange student or not exchange she was just a foreign student at my college that uh was notorious for taking girls to the library which i always thought was a pretty cool move yeah no yeah i always thought that was interesting because like that's the worst place to do it because you have to be so quiet you know like yeah i think that was the appeal right it's like sexy because it's yeah but you gotta yeah i mean i don't know it feels like high risk low a reward you know yeah but also it's like if they're if you're reading two birds with one stone right did i ever say did i tell you the floor my roommate on the floor thing no it's like a

oh wait wait wait yeah yeah like you could like the podcast so that was interesting to me so your roommate was just like openly having sex while you were in the room yeah that was like a that was like a kind of common practice i think just because we were we were the year we moved into school they just demolished a dorm that normally housed like 90 of freshmen so everyone had to be in a triple so it was like the logistics of getting everyone out of your room was going to be impossible so everyone would just do it once everyone was asleep i remember one time same same thing you know i said like the the street light came through the shutters and it would create these like bars of light on the floor and on the wall i was i was making sweet sweet love to my to

my lady and i i looked uh i looked up and my roommate who slept on the other side of the wall was like was like kind of under his covers and then just the one bar of light was just over his open eyes and then when i made eye contact with him he like went back to sleep oh no oh poor guy all right let's talk about let's talk about something else yeah what's up with sports mets are back nice they've won two games in a row chinese taipei big dub yesterday really yeah what i've never understood about that is they're always so it's such a small such a small place but they have chinese type wait how do you know this what do you mean that little league world series yeah oh oh i thought you were talking about like the league no taiwan taiwan is what

they call themselves and china oh that means taiwan yes china insists that they own it and they call it chinese taipei and uh they're they've been nasty at little league like every year since the 70s got it yeah and then one team what's that t there was this like dream team from new jersey of ragtag kids that like took them down yeah yeah they still meet like every year not fall river but tom's river tom's river todd frazier todd frazier was on that team yeah that's sick but uh they how were they so good at baseball like china's not china's not very good at baseball yeah but i think they're like pretty culturally different i know but like what are the odds that this like small little thing i think there's a lot how many people live in taiwan

google taiwan population viral 23 million people that's pretty small it's huge i mean compared to like what are we like 300 million well for the whole country yeah these are like individual little league teams that's a good point okay yeah it's a good point toms river new jersey going against yeah i mean although i guess presumably their team is a representation of some village in taiwan i have heard won their bracket or whatever right i have heard that some of these overseas teams just put together a powerhouse i think that's probably the whole or they have everyone moved to the same area because they want yeah yeah yeah um but because i asked him i was like how are they so good every year he goes they're so regimented

i was like how do you know that that's that feels like that feels like a microaggression yeah i I don't know if I... He was like, they're so organized. They're so disciplined. They're like nine. They're not... Did you see there were a bunch of people online that were like, oh, I can't bet on the Little League World Series?

You should be able to. I don't think... I don't understand why you can't. Really? You should not be able to bet on 12-year-old kids. You think they should be able to bet on 12-year-old kids? Wait, why not? Because then...

I just think that's just shitty. I just think that just sucks. It's a lot of pressure on the kids. That just makes me sad to think about. Yeah. It's a lot of pressure on the kids. Yeah. there's gonna be guys like giving like death threats like you know what like professional

athletes go through from people now it's actually a good point i wish you could bet on regular guys jobs like andrew's gonna put out two clips today dude i my i like i don't like my stomach feels like all weird we were talking about this morning yeah us too so we're not having to wake up early really do you think that was it like i was on the toilet for like a while that's actually why like the biggest reason i was late today i like couldn't get off the game it has to do with the like your circadian rhythm oh it's like your body sleep score is good though really yeah i think they say your body has like an internal clock and when you throw that off externally then it can throw off this is the earliest my internal clocks of my internal clocks of rolex it was a timex nice i got

that fuck you bitch by uh when i was a kid you know they i told you they thought i had crones because i was like shitting so much oh when i was a kid i would leave i could not poop at school so i would leave and i missed like 80 days one year my mom was like all right we have to like this can't continue we have to go to the doctor and uh and i the second i had to stop waking up at like six in the morning to go to high school yeah or you it's like a stress thing too it's like waking up that early and then like high school is just inherently stressful the second i went to college completely stopped wait you had to get up at 6 a.m to go to high school school started at eight i think and we left usually at like 7 40 so if i wanted to like shower eat breakfast

have like it was probably 6 30 you know remember my dad would wake me up with like a cup of coffee oh that also that also probably didn't help the first second you're awake you have a black cup of coffee let me shit more that's what i'm saying they said you couldn't shit no no like i couldn't shit at school so i would like be at school have to poop and just check myself out was that like a like did you go to the bathroom and try and you like could not do it no i would not poop it like i refused to poop at school got it i thought that was really gross we had a um guy who actually played in the nba for a little bit in my high school lebron his name was lebron what was his Not going to say his last name because I don't want to dox him, but it was LeBron.

But he was apparently a stander to wipe, and he was obviously taller than the stall. He would stand up and wipe his butt? Yeah, because that's the thing. Some people sit down to wipe. Some people stand up to wipe. You didn't know this? I used to stand when I was a kid, but I grew out of it. Yeah, I think some people do.

yeah what is the reason that makes it that's like making it harder for no reason yeah doesn't it smear all the poop between your butt cheeks yeah probably oh i stopped listen man all right sorry anyway anyway he was standing to wipe and i like was washing my hands and i just looked up and we made the worst like most awkward eye contact in the mirror as he's like digging in his butt i was like uh hello digging in his butt he was probably loving it i remember kids look back come back here kids you still like look at me film over the stall and try and catch like catch like funny kids pooping like there were kids that it was just funnier to see them pooping and i remember thinking that was completely normal and looking

back on it that is that's like a uh that's a battery it's a crime yeah i don't think it's battery but it's definitely not battery but yeah oh i tell you i tell you about that that kid that got uh got caught jerking it at school oh no everyone had one they there were a couple there were two very uh like like hard-hitting stories that came out but the the funnier one to me was someone walked into this like secret bathroom and they opened it up and he had his shirt pulled up over his head laying down on the on the ground going fucking berserk on himself and then another kid another kid got caught drinking off in health class and had to transfer schools and he was the he was the hockey goalie for like one of our rival schools and so the the

hackles that that kid would get were brutal yeah that's tough yeah there was a kid there was a kid on the hockey team who was a pretty good player but just never i think he was like on the fourth line never got in really and uh and on senior night they were like their mission was like we're gonna get him a goal and so his mom was there like so excited she's watched him for four years this other kid stands up in the student section uh falls down this he's so drunk he fell down the stairs and like almost he was like in really bad shape so the mom helps him up brings him outside and is trying to like get him fucking controlled the second she steps outside her son scores and never scored another goal again oh that's horrible that's that sucks yeah was it a nice was like a

top shelf type shit i don't i think this was i think this was before i was in high school but uh during one of our like high school pre-season games for football they were trying to no no no but i wasn't cool enough um took all the wind out yeah yeah i really ruined it kind of a sore subject uh i got rejected here's the coach actually um yeah um no but um we had a kid on the team who you know like was autistic and they wanted to get him like a touchdown or something or at least a catch yeah and so they designed to play to get him a catch and everybody on the other team knew about it except for one kid who was this happens way too often and he leveled him leveled him it's like pat tillman coming across the top and just takes it was the kid and i'm was the kid like

was he in like classes with you guys or was he in like yeah yeah he was in um um yeah he was one of those like i don't know on the fence i guess yeah you know um okay this is we can just it's the last thing and then and then we'll drop it there was a there was a kid in our high school who when he got his driver's license we were everyone was like shocked that that was like allowed and then everyone was like oh well you know like maybe there's something we don't know first first day in the parking lot t-bone someone and everyone's like oh my god why did they let him this is like they set him up for failure that's worst case scenario oh no

my buddy got hit by an ambulance you're what my buddy got hit by an ambulance on that's that's the car to get hit by did they just it was the ambulance's fault just take him out of the car put him in the ambulance no he i think he was fine but i always thought that was like the funniest car he was driving the left lane and i guess an ambulance was on the right lane and just didn't see him and tried to like make a u-turn and so basically just turned right in front of him he smacked right into it oh my god did you see that 18 wheeler driver he did like an illegal u-turn on the highway they're going like 70 miles an hour and he does like an illegal u-turn so it like takes up the whole thing and a minivan drives directly into

it the people driving the minivan passed away and you see the like dash cam because he drives for one of those companies where they have everything on film his face does not change the whole time like i don't know if he did it like on purpose he it looks like a serial killer like literally no remorse and then he's standing on the side while they're like you know the ambulance is there and stuff still like no emotion crazy damn yeah you guys have seen it you've tasted it you've seen us drinking it mug root beer the dog is inside of me this episode is brought to you by mug root beer willie and i got that dog in us andrew and i were talking about this we were like if i'm awake i've had a mug within

the last hour mug zero sugar root beer is taking over my life it has become we're almost out of it we have like three cases left they dropped they dropped they brought a pallet two they brought they brought two pallets of of regular mug and mug zero and we are like we are down to a shockingly low amount this is a month and a half ago yeah i think i think that if you are not currently doing a mug ad read you should not be able to drink at this office because everyone drinks it now and they all steal my mug taking over venice beach i saw i see people i don't even know drinking it guys mug is mug is it's goaded it's goaded i'll you know what i'll say it it's tea it's goaded it's tea its body's insane it is root beer though it's not and i have that dog in me pretty much all

the time yep and that's because i'm drinking this i used to i used to hate myself i used to be shrivel up in the corner and live a sad sad life and then i started drinking mug root beer people are gonna start instead of saying your body's tea people are gonna start saying your body's mug yeah exactly and it's like it's got that creamy vanilla flavor of your childhood nostalgic i think that's why we like it so much is i kind of stopped yeah drinking i kind of forgot about root beer as i became older now i i'm walking around with a with a new lease on life with a childlike whimsy oh yeah mug zero two zero calories zero sugar zero caffeine zero caffeine Next time you are looking to get down with a little cold, frothy beverage with unapologetic flavor, grab a Mug Root Beer.

All right? You can find Mug at a store near you, or you can go to mugrootbeer.com slash find-mug and find out how you can get your paws on a little Mug Root Beer. Also, follow them on their social media at mugrootbeer, and we love you. Mug it up. Let's get back into the episode. well we were talking when you were gone about the like best place you could do the 24 hour like challenge for fantasy like the waffle house the mcdonald's the bars whatever and i was like oh i want to do something like a trampoline park where it's like you're too old to be there but

you still got to be there for how many hours would you be at a trampoline park like just hanging out before they called the cops you get an hour off for every kid you dunk on okay there you go there you go yeah yeah or no no an hour laser tag and like an hour off for every like every game where you're the highest score score yeah oh you have to go like fucking nuts on these kids yeah yeah that's a good one that's a really good one i do like that i'm gonna laser tag him forever yeah we see that all the time yeah i don't think they like exist as much of kids are getting like because they can just play a way more fun version of that we played laser tag out of necessity because there wasn't like ai no there was like once i got like call of duty it was like

oh yeah i guess we i never had any of that but the laser dome dude we would go to the laser dome what's that it's like a laser tag place we had laser quest but it was a dome and it was fucking sick yeah everyone you like get in the room and they like give you your team and you have like a name and you like strap in like you personally had a name or the team had a name you would you would come up with your own name what was yours i don't know it would be different every time but like you could come up with like your code name and then like meet with the team and they go over the rules and then we'd be like begin i always thought it was kind of like embarrassing for some reason what's that something no they're like the like though those moments before you're

about to do something where they're like explaining the rules and you're like in a group of like random people yeah and you kind of have to like approach like i don't really care that i'm here oh i was so into it yeah i was hiding it i think that's something there's something wrong with me every every time too when my friends and i would play we'd do like four or five rounds in a row yeah and every single time they would say like don't play if you're pregnant one of us would go ah every single time it was funny every single time that's awesome have you seen that aldo video of the laser tag where he's like this is the last time we're gonna be in this room together Have you seen this?

No. That's so funny. How did you guys understand when this was your last time sitting in this room together? So when we're out there, I want to pull it apart. This is my son's

sixth birthday party. It's a whole lot more than just your son's sixth birthday party. It's just laser tang. It's a whole... What the fuck did you just say? It's just laser tang.

You don't know who we can trust out there. You don't know who's bad and who's good. You gotta look out for IUDs. Fuck! I've already lost.

For IUDs? uh should we road map it up road map let's do it guys we got a beautiful episode for you today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches then we're gonna do am i the asshole that's right and then we will do this guy rocks followed by teach me something and then we are gonna do sayings that don't exist and casino games that don't exist and then we'll end with rusty's songs song of the day arsad pitch us bud oh alexander come back to bed oh what you get a little hamilton-y no i just saw a tiktok with that is that what that is yeah okay hi did you watch it wait no i got out of it got out of it

what flan wanted to watch hamilton and then i just didn't bring it up and she forgot sly dog all right hi tito uke and noma tito do you know who those are tito is um he's michael jackson's brother tito jackson you and did you know randy jackson is michael jackson's wait no those are red socks those are red socks noma oh oh that's okay kevin eucalyptus yeah tito and who's tito he was the he was the manager got it i i i red socks to you you got red socks i i honestly no ma that's my bad uh i thought that jackson was michael jackson's brother and i thought that was proven false no it's it is false it is false just it's not more than it's a different guy

there was a he has a brother named randy was that a lauren prank no it was a rusty misinformation I what technically was right he is his brother um I guess I listened to that episode okay uh hi Tito Eugenoma what's the worst part about baseball games oh um the worst part about baseball games is if it's at Fenway it's that the seats are made for babies the seats are really small but I would say i would say the worst part about baseball games is if unless you're like really knowing unless you really know a lot about baseball without the commentary sometimes it's kind of hard to know what the fuck's going on or or like what uh is the best play here there's no home runs

the one time something cool happens you're up getting a beer uh you can't just grab a cheap ticket for the last few innings to drink a beer and a dog enjoy oh okay uh in comes lesser innings a play on extra innings available only after the bottom of the fifth inning these are cheap ticket packages you can buy to do what you would normally uh going to do at the game drink beer eat a hot dog watch the game but now you can do it at fenway or dodger stadium without paying a billion dollars i'll utilize seats that haven't been taken either so you can end up like i did last friday night on third baseline with a cold sam adams a tasty fenway frank and a game ball in hand hope this tickles willie's fancy love y'all

i guess so let's go i am tickled uh that sounds awesome dude in in at the charl at the joe which is where the charleston river dogs played uh they would let you in i think it was like and they did this at the Lancaster Barnstormers games too I think it was like five and a half or six and a half

innings into the game then the gate it was just like the gates were just open you could just walk in so we would do that we would just wait until we could just

go in for free and then you'd walk in and it was the absolute best it's kind of like like you know when you're on your way home from work you're like

I'll stop in for a quick bite you get like a quick you get like a quick dinner by yourself and a beer or something it was because in Charleston we lived right by the stadium

so it was like oh yeah pop over catch the last couple innings yeah i wasn't drinking age but it would be even better if it was like grab a beer and watch a couple innings of ball i love it yeah also maybe there's you know people who like leave people probably leave and they could just be like you could come in bro yeah yeah i think it's perfect because it's like you you kind of get to the game late anyway like it's hard to get there with like traffic and parking and everything so you're late anyway then they make money off of concessions right and then that you need fans for the last few innings if it's like a close game so it's like a win-win situation yeah i haven't unless i'm with

will i have rarely gotten to a baseball game on time i went to a dodgers game with my sisters and getting that like the game had started and and we were just starting to eat dinner at my sister's house like getting the rallying the troops to get to a baseball game is impossible there uh fourth maybe that's crazy i know it was insane that would get i would be dude i was i would be having a melt my sister my sister was like no like the game starts at 7 10 but they still got to do like the first pitch and all that stuff and i was like no that's like all that all happens before yeah but i think she knew that i think she fucking knew that she's doing well dodger stadium is a nightmare too because it's like to get there it's just this one hill

road getting to dodger stadium such a bitch is the worst nightmare you're like driving through a neighborhood i left from work one time to go to a game and it took me like two two and a half hours it's insane yeah yeah all right i love it i'm in sofia here hi peanut butter and jelly oh peanut jenny item butter uh what's the worst part about being an anxious dater oh oh you're worried you're gonna run on things to talk about on the first date yeah is that what that means like in the context of like an individual date probably right yeah you're gonna throw up you're worried you're gonna throw up on her drink you're worried you're gonna throw up on her drink oh you just said that sorry that's what i was saying

wanting uh it's wanting to slide into someone's dms but not knowing if they're open to it Okay. I'm pitching Shoot Your Shot, a feature on Instagram that connects to a dating app profile so you can see if someone's open to a DM for a potential date. Say you want to DM someone, maybe like our own Willie D. Instagram will compare dating profiles, posts, dating profiles, posts, and mutuals

to suggest compatibility and shared interests. Users can also set preferences so everyone's on the same page before making a move. if someone's in a relationship or not open to dating a pop-up will block the dm this will help anxious people like me feel more comfortable giving a little bit more info before reaching out i'm it feels like you left it feels like you left it she had a trivia question for us hit us oh i think that's what i said was like a way to slide into my dm ah i think this girl's trying i think she's trying to slide in my dm okay well would that work yeah i mean i think

the dms thing is uh i don't know if i don't know if i'll find my wife in my dms the funniest dms to get are the ones that are just like hi yeah you're like oh yeah i should yes i should just be like hello what's up yeah howdy what's the best dm you've gotten really um i don't know not he knows what it is crotch shot no there was one episode where he told p he told everyone to send me pictures of their cat or something and then people just actually sent pictures of but you meant it like as like i would never call a woman's a woman's there's video it's on the internet i would not call motherhood her cat girls actually sent you pictures of their animals not their not their private anyone slip in a picture of their privates as far as i know no

instagram has like a uh crotch recognition software crt yeah if it or crs where the if it's a picture of your private to just automatically either that or none of the girls that i'm sending them to are seeing them um i love it sophia i'm in yeah i like that a girl submitted it i feel like um girls should slide in the dms more i would say if you're a girl and you're curious if a guy is open to being hit on i would say they're probably open to it yeah yeah i'm open to anything i'm open to adventure i'm open to life i'm like dj collins how about eight inches and dick oh no never mind that's what i was eight inches thick how about my wife just died and my daughter

runs a four minute mile she's faster than me at eight years old apparently herself didn't he come out and say like all that was a lie he was like he was on like a ton of drugs and was just like yeah no that's true i mean i could have guessed that it was a lie dude i'm watching breaking bad still and walter white pulled an all-time move what happened he was he's like he was like kidnapped and like killed the guy and like doing all this shit for a few days and his family was like worried sick about him missing yeah and then he just comes back he's like i don't remember anything they're like oh my god walk through the grocery store naked yeah all-time move uh andrew should we hear who's an asshole uh we shall oh wait do you want to do your pitches

oh shit our pitches oh i'd love to all right all right i got the hot phone come on what's the worst part about a phone uh it's too cold no one's texting you you're on it way too much okay this one if if your usage for the day gets too high it gets unbearably hot so you have to put it away or like you can it you can it's hot it's just hot enough that like if you really needed to you could do something quickly sure yeah you can use it it's just like you don't want to right i love that okay but does it affect any of the like internal mechanisms no it's an external heat gotcha Oh, it's like a fan of heat? Yeah, it's like shooting lava.

Oh my god. No, I'm just kidding. It's not shooting lava. Obviously, the tech's not there to shoot lava. You shaking? Shaking around? I saw a video of a guy proposing to his girlfriend, and the volcano behind them erupted right as she said yes. Whoa.

Pretty cool. Pretty cool. Whoa. I saw a video of a proposal, but someone had left a Snapchat filter on it, and the guy's nose went... oh did you see the guy that proposed on two knees martin i think yeah those guys martin like slushy noobs or whatever their yeah is that what their name is they're so funny yeah oh no no it's that one right there's the third one wait oh yeah yeah here it is is it like a bit yeah i don't know because that is his real

girlfriend isn't it yeah no i mean like it looks like he's done it a hundred times no they actually yeah they actually like got engaged but it's shane dawson no slushy noobs yeah i think that's so funny slushy news um all right willie what is the worst part about um living as an adult like physically living in an apartment living in a house um there's no good shows on you gotta drive to your buddies houses you got like if you want to hang out you gotta go like go make an effort dorms for adults there should be there should be dorm style places where all of your buddies live and so if you want to go meet up with them you just go and like knock on his door and you can like go in and play xbox or something and then you can like go down to the you can go down to

the cafeteria you can go and then like all of your jobs are like on this campus bro invented the walkable community all of your jobs are i think this is like a little bit how i live right now i feel like all my friends like i mean you're kind of an outlier because of where you live but like i i can walk or bike to all my friends houses i know but i'm saying like down you just walk down the hall they're like dorm parties so it's just all your friends living in the same apartment building no it's not like that at all it's like dorms and then oh and there's ra there's an ra god okay all of your companies move to the same campus and you like walk around and you all get lunch at the same places right and um they're like they're like adult fraternities and stuff

where like they're having parties it's just called college for adults okay yeah yeah wouldn't that be fun yeah i don't you don't want that i think i want exactly how things are right now really okay maybe i just maybe i wish maybe i maybe this is what maybe this is what i want i want an ra in my apartment building to introduce me to all the other people because we all stand in the elevator and say hello you can go say hi to your neighbors too you're so the one time i'm so scared of your the one time i the two times i've tried to go get that packet from that place they haven't did you leave a note no i found out that they moved out and you were there like they're looking through the peephole i can hear them in there they think i'm a freak i could

hear them in i swore i could hear them in there i swore i think you just try to invent a uh you just invented meeting your neighbors i know i want to be i guess i should just might should just go meet my neighbors yeah they're probably harmless oh my god there's a girl on my floor that ty ran into who's like our age and she was with her boyfriend who is apparently like 75 to like 90 and they had years old yeah and they had they had uh suitcases and ty was like where are you guys going she was like europe she's our age and he's 75 to 90 and how do you know their date ty was like this i think maybe she introduced him as like my boyfriend or something it was like clear they were together there's no way that old it's like a sugar she's like a sugar daddy

that's crazy i know it makes you think like maybe just do that get a bunch of money i know then find the love of your life i'm trying should we do that you should do you could do that today i don't want an old man no she can be a woman oh yeah oh yeah yeah or oh that totally like the kids no it was the old part dude i was having i don't care it's a man or a woman i just don't want to be old i was having non-stop nightmares last night non-stop nightmares because i i i forgot to pee before bed and every time i have to pee i have nightmares but i also they're p related no my mom used to tell me when i was a kid she was like you have to go pee before bed or else you're gonna have nightmares and she was right she made it manifested it yeah thanks a lot mom manifesting should we do

am i the asshole yeah what was your oh you had the dorm for oh i remember uh like sneaking in alcohol into my dorm freshman year yeah and we had this like huge duffel bag full of like svedka bottles and shit yeah and we get on the elevator and as soon as we get in the ra comes into and he just looks at us we're carrying this huge duffel bag and he goes a bomb he goes what you guys doing we go camping and he goes okay and the elevator goes and you hear the bottles like clink and and like he looks at us and my buddy goes tent rods that's awesome and he's like okay he just needed like a reason he needed you just had to give him something yeah exactly exactly that's do something about it pussy that was the funniest thing was like you always had to come

with these like elaborate ways to bring alcohol in but like as long as it was as long as you weren't like holding it i feel like you could just bring it yeah no they would bc they were not they'd look to your backpack yeah they'd be like i open your backpack i can hear it really yeah really i was going i just walked to 7-eleven put a case of beer in my backpack and just walk back i remember get i remember what i mean not always but like i i i i known i didn't i remember we would go to the mods to buy beer from dan fitzgerald he was giving beer to minor the beer dealer uh the beer dealer no he's my cousin my cousin libby's like best friend he's the man uh but the man i'm gonna say his first and last name yeah he sold beer to miners

uh no he was a senior though when we were freshmen it was like cool that i knew a senior yeah and he was like yeah so he would get his beer and we'd have to go down to his mod to pick it up which is like his little the senior housing on campus and then we put in our backpacks but like when you put a 30 rack in your backpack it's like the the exact outline of the 30 rack and then the walk back is through like the center of campus i'd be so it's like all like the classes like everyone's like going to and from class in your walk and it was just so obvious but i guess i guess maybe they didn't crack down that much but i remember that that's how you'd like bring beer to parties like you'd have everyone have like a backpack backpack and the having a 30 rack and your backpack was

like a you'd be like sore the next day from like carrying it around it's so fucking heavy it was yeah it was the funniest thing to be like looking i mean it was so like oh my god obviously that's a 30 it's like it's like vacuums because it takes up the entire volume of your backpack yes like the backpack becomes a 30 rack yeah yeah even now i'm self-conscious to bring a backpack to a party because of that but i also feel weird getting into an uber with like a six-pack you know oh i definitely just bring you can drink in an uber i think no definitely i don't think yeah i don't think it's legal to have any sort of open container in yeah i thought there's some law about like if you're if it's like technically like a chauffeur no way it's chill yeah maybe you're right i don't

know because like like really nice car like you can drink in a limo yeah but that does like a compartment separating it from the driver would be my only thought but i don't really i actually don't know i'm speculating i mean i don't think a lot most uber drivers don't really give a shit when my buddy turned 21 he sent me a snapchat of him like with like an open beer driving and he goes i can't believe i can legally do this now like oh oh wait i have i didn't even tell you guys this here's a funny uber drinking story two weekends ago i was out on the town at roosterfish and i haven't gone there in forever i know i haven't done a lot it's fine i like the outdoor but once the outdoor closes it doesn't really do it for me it's like dark and like dude dude dude

like house music i'm like i'm not my speed but we're leaving and one of the girls we were with was like too drunk needed to go home nice and so i called her an uber to her home and the uber shows up and i'm like all right come on let's get in the uber and she like gets in i get her in the seat she like doesn't really want to but i'm like come on you need to go home and then she's like oh wait i don't know if i have my phone and i'm like no you do have your phone i can see it and she's like i don't know and like steps out of the uber to like check her pockets and i can like see it in her purse and the uber driver clearly was just like i don't want to fucking deal with this shit drove away drives away with the door open like the backseat door i had opened to like let

her in and then she had stepped out and i was like come on get back in the car get out of the car and the guy just tail like just flies away and then i see him like drive like a block down the road stop get out close the door and then leave and i was like god damn it and but the funny thing is i think he just reported as like he canceled it because we're sitting there i'm like oh great now what are we gonna do like we're not gonna be able to get her an uber another uber just showed right up oh like he like canceled it on his end like yeah he didn't like i think he probably he was like there's the the odds that she like paints the backseat of my car with throw up is yes yeah and then the next guy it worked oh we had a guy we had a guy named colin who used to

come to all of our parties and just stand in the corner and wait for like a girl to get too drunk and then take them home jesus and we were like what you can't do this anymore like he wouldn't drink at the parties he wouldn't talk to anyone he'd just stand in the corner he says your friend No, no, no, not my friend. This guy that would just come to our parties or whatever. It was, like, he was in our, like, organization or whatever. So it wasn't, like, it was, like, a friend group hanging out. But he would just come, and he would just, like, wait for a group of girls to, like, get too drunk.

Was he, like, assaulting them? I hope not. Did he, like, report this guy? I don't think he was, but I think he wanted that, like, I'm a good guy, like, persona. Oh, you're saying, like, he would wait and then, like, help them get home? He would, like, drive them home. interesting and like i don't know girls ever were like he was creepy he assaulted me but it was just like an odd premise to like come to a party yeah like if you don't want to drink at a party that's

fine but like the fact that he just like wouldn't talk to anyone staying in a corner just observe everyone and then just like a couple girls get too drunk and then you just take him home but i think he like he was like i'm a hero he's a he's yeah service i don't know why you would ever driving drunk girls home is the most excruciating driving anyone drunk home but a group of drunk girls is the is the least enjoyable yeah group of people that have been to too much what and like uber exists you know yeah picking picking i remember picking up uh picking up my my lady friend and her friends in college from like a dinner one time and they would they'd they were there for like 45 minutes they couldn't have gotten that drunk and like

getting them in the car and like keeping them in like the windows like it's not like it's not like an enjoyable yeah experience at all colin said i think colin's heart was probably in the right place i think colin may be on some sort of spell i don't know he was kind of a bad guy oh okay hey kids next door i got a doozy for you am i the asshole for not saying something about my friend dating someone too young for him oh one of my good pals age 28 just started dating a girl who is 19 uh when they got together just turned 20 i want to preface by saying on paper he's a great guy owns his own hvac company um that's how you say that right yeah um super handsome buff as hell super nice polite um and also genuinely the dumbest guy just a real bonehead

i say all that because her parents fucking love him and see nothing wrong with the situation like on paper he is the guy you want your daughter to be with he's a local community theater star as dumb as it sounds for whatever reason it's a big deal in our hometown and played romantic leads in the stage production of legally blonde with this girl who's been in the community since she was like 12 oh so everyone knows her super well well they ended up getting together during slash after this most recent show and us friends are all still kind of weirded out by it like no it's technically not illegal but it's definitely doesn't feel right and he's been distancing himself from the guys and has been hanging out with younger dudes like 18 and 19 year olds

from musicals and shit uh i guess to make it seem like he's still young and cool i live in chicago now so i can't just go talk to him in person about it but i am i an asshole for not saying anything or making sure he understands the gravity of the situation our friend group is close as hell and now for the guys that still live back home he doesn't even talk to them anymore so it seems like he knows it's weird and doesn't want to hear about it from us any advice because i'm fucking confused thanks pals love you keep up love you too that is this this guy is like a caricature he's a owns an hvac company he's buff and he's like a local legend from his roles in theater production legally blonde yeah okay but he's somehow dumb like everything else about it

makes him sound like very intelligent there's something there's some there are a handful things to unpack here each one funnier than the last her being 20 and him being 28 at face value is not like the end of the world to me at face value is fucking weird okay i was gonna say the fact that she was 19 when they met for some reason that makes it a little bit weird here's the weirdest part if he's been in the theater for if he's a star he probably worked his way up which means he's been working with her since she was like a child yeah that that's the fucking really weird part but if he's actually like dumb as a bag of rocks he might not see it he might literally not just not see how weird it is the funniest part about this is that he has ditched his friends for

like a younger crew of guys god forbid a man cling to his youth right i think i think that this is this guy's really funny if nothing else i think you should i don't think obviously you're not the asshole you knew that you just want to tell a crazy story well oh is he the asshole for not calling him out though i think you should be like yo that is a like i'll i sure it's legal and i support you and you're my friend but like yeah that's a little weird right like i think you gotta bring it up he can't be in an echo chamber of thinking it's normal but at the same time it's like yeah do your do your best like well first of all if he has known her since she was 12 that feels then you definitely have to be like dude this is bizarre yeah um but either way you

should just get it off your conscience by texting him and being like yo i need to say something because i'm not gonna be able to live with myself this is so fucking strange and you should i think you don't i think you should approach it more just like do you understand how weird this is to a lot of us yeah yeah and then you and then you've you've said your piece yeah i don't know how people end up in these situations i think being 25 thinking about dating a 19 year old is so insane and then to add three more years like for me to be three years older and then date a 19 year old is so insane i think i mean i'm like how do people even end up wait here yeah you and i are 24 correct if you were dating a 19 barely 25 in two weeks nice i'm barely

yeah if if you were dating a 19 year old that would be weird i would i would like have i would like take you out to dinner and have like a serious chat with you about it take me out to dinner first take me out to dinner before you tell me to stop dating 19 years old stop dating that 19 year old take me out to dinner so what's the youngest that would be normal for a 28 year old 21 22 i didn't think like if i was dating someone in college they at least got to be able to drink i think uh like i would i think i think the youngest i would feel comfortable dating someone at 24 would be like 21 or 22 yeah even that yeah i think they're like a junior in college it would be like okay this is a little weird i think at 28 it's got to be like 23 24 yeah yeah

it's just it's the fact that he's known her since she's 12 you can't date anyone that you knew when they were a minor yeah unless you were also a minor with them yeah minor think about think about like you when you were 19 like you're not no i was a completely different version of myself my brain isn't even developed now but when i was 19 you're like a you're a fully a child and he's like a business owner like he's it's it's yeah he's uh he's you're playing you're not playing on a level playing field there like he can i feel like that's like the i still am hung up on the he knew her when he when she was 12 he has a 401k and she can't drink i would say no you're not you knew you weren't the asshole but that is yeah you have to tell him i think he's just like yo you

know this is weird right like i just need to know that you know this is weird to all of us yeah i mean he clearly knows it's weird if you want yeah but but he has like a whole crew everything he's saying it sounds like her family thinks it's normal he thinks it's normal like everyone else around them it's like maybe dust needs someone to be like you know this is weird right yeah when i was 19 there were the oldest person in my crew was like 21 22 when i was 19 i was still rolling with high schoolers yeah yeah when i was not i was selling i was selling i was selling beer to minors dope to minors i was selling k2 to minors i was selling k3 i was selling spice yeah i was selling oregano as we freaking everest all right should we do this guy rocks yeah all

right this guy rocks this guy oh wait i don't want to do that yeah i thought we weren't doing we're not doing it anymore all right andrew pause this immediately and i mean immediately okay this is a dance teacher in his studio um explaining kind of how to move through a freestyle dance to one of his students this is a balance point what can we do now going to switch this is from the heel toe what's a balance point so if this comes from heel towing this is definitely something and then that shows you a whole different type of athleticism knowing the fact that i could jump into a new place and then follow that motion this is just like a dance lesson oh i thought that looks insane i thought that i thought that

did not look cool or oh maybe not what do you think andrew oh well it reminds me of those like people who post like dancing videos i think that people would just be like hot dog hot dog hot diggity dog dude i just and then the funny like speaking of guys who are like in an echo chamber yeah like he's with guys who like every time he was doing kind of like he's doing a dance with any of us could do there were guys in the back oh snap i actually think isn't it kind of impressive am i losing my mind you could do this do it play it again and show me one thing that willie this is a balance point what can we do now going to switch this is from the heel toe yeah maybe maybe

what's a balance point hey so if this comes from heel towing I thought he was I think and then that shows you a whole different type of athleticism knowing the fact that I can jump

into a new place and then follow that motion alright I like it I like it his students would follow him to the fucking end of the earth that guy that guy behind him in the palm of his hand yeah that was that was mind-boggling stuff to him uh all right speaking of guys i would date a 19 year old yeah that guy's that guy's girlfriend hasn't gotten out of school i would date that guy if i was 19 yeah i was dating that

guy when i was 19 i dated that guy for 19 years nothing's funnier than the episode of the office where they go to the high school and andy's like oh my girlfriend's here oh yeah yeah oh she like worked for the school right he goes yeah then she goes to her locker he goes i don't know teachers have lockers yeah that is so fucking foul think about when you were like dude they were like aren't there like 19 year old high schoolers um no fifth years yeah because you turn 19 if your girlfriend like mathematically could technically be in high school then you're 28 you're too old yeah i was 17 when i started college really yeah jesus yeah i was 17 the summer going into college i guess but i definitely turned it yeah may that's not

summer i graduated a week before my birthday you graduated high school in the first week of may i think so right yeah we did too really i'm pretty sure my high school i didn't or no no no no sorry june yeah it was june college ended in may yeah you're right okay never mind i would never know i would never and in maine schools go to like late june the rest of the school went after we graduated i think we also did a we had a two-week transition project or something where you go like work an internship you become transgender yeah you had to transition in two weeks all right show me your rocks really accelerated timeline wait you don't have to pause it i mean what do you yeah we'll tee it up for us this is luther candle luther candle hands never got to play with all

the other kids until one day they need a fire and who did they call luther candle hands and then everybody knew how fun they was luther candle hands at the end of the video let's watch it again at the end i love that for the record really at the end of the video he makes a face that even he is like what did i just do go watch look at the last play with all the other kids until one day they need a fire and who did they call luther candle hands and then everybody knew how fun they was luther candle hands you see what i'm talking about the last like all his like all his anxieties hit him at once the last millisecond of that video he realizes what he just did okay let's it's serious question

yeah what happened what has to happen to a man or a boy when he's a child why are you being mean this is awesome i'm not being me i'm jenny this is awesome this is a guy that made it something for himself there's a bunch of people that go around no one fucking knows their name and this is luther fucking candle hands you just after that you gave you gave me a little thing yeah yeah what do you gotta say to that a serious question what has to happen to you as a boy where this is the result something horrible love love accepting see this is because you grew up in this society where being normal is cool maybe but actually he probably grew up in a family and a in a upbringing where people told him he could be whatever he wanted to be and that he

would be loved no matter what and that allowed him to express himself this way and not everyone has to conform to your you know outdated ways of living life what if he wants candle hands yes your your argument was he grew up in a family where they told him he could be whatever he wanted yeah we're at our job right now do you think i grew up in like a very strict household where they were like you're gonna be a podcaster and like it yeah but oh like we're some sort of like groundbreaking guys because we we're we're doing the most we're we're normies we live very normal lives really yes okay i mean sure we have like a different job but i don't think this is that is a lot more unique than what we do unique is an understatement i'm just saying that's what i'm

saying he's breaking you don't think you don't think someone did anything to him when he was a kid no i think he was loved he was so loved so hard he lit his fingers on play one more time play one more time and tell me tell me this guy nothing happened he was loved never got to play with all the other kids until one day they need a fire and who did they call luther candle hands and then everybody knew how fun they was luther candle hands he is the most loved he is so loved dude the look of realization of like what the fuck am i talking Click on his page

I bet there's a picture of him and all his family loving him I bet Husband Father Sculptor Futzer Husband for the time being What does that mean?

Maybe he's getting divorced Alright well You think this is a guy that Yeah he's been loved so hard Not a single picture of his wife he has his tongue in a mouth no it's a shrimp trap he has his tongue in a mouth trap

click on the mouth trap click on the mouth trap you gonna walk this one back a little bit will you I'm too far in you know what's weird is I don't think that he I now have a different impression of him

I don't think he's like this oh look at that one is this his wife that one up click on that one wait what pulls up another woman's instagram okay i wait andrew pause this i don't know if he's real dude i think he like what's going on i think like instagram was like do you want to make a video with your camera roll and they

actually like slipped in him stalking some girls well she commented though we made it thank you luther yeah uh that is her all right should we do teach me something yeah let's do that all right do you guys know about mary wells lawrence yeah i don't know that you do andrew no okay have you guys seen mad men yeah so you know the who's the woman in mad men willie poppy something peggy peggy oh is that so she's based on this real woman named mary wells lawrence okay marketing amongst most other careers at the time yeah it was very hard for women to get ahead right yeah mary wells lawrence was a um she was like a very skilled copywriter or whatever for this marketing what i'm laughing about luther the face dude the face at the end it was like yeah i

don't know if this one went the way i wanted although in the context of everything else i think that was actually one of his more normal ones yeah i was like okay he's like this sweet guy and like honestly i started to feel bad for kind of like bragging on him a little bit yeah prove me right you proved me right at the end um she was this skilled like copywriter but they still wouldn't let women like take charge on some of these larger like ad projects whatever she came up with the uh this ad campaign for alka-seltzer where it was like plop plop fizz fizz and it doubled their sales because it suggested that everyone should be using two alka-seltzers it's like plop plop fizz fizz and everyone's like oh she's like awesome then her

company still didn't let her do anything because she was a woman she left started her own with two co-workers uh became the first woman to be the president of a company that was listed on the nasdaq that's awesome she's like uh she retired in 1990 was inducted into the hall of fame of marketing and is like she like pioneered like opened up this space for women and i thought it was fascinating yeah that's awesome like impossible that would be and she did it yeah i mean that yeah but also i will say back that back then it seemed like maybe marketing was a little bit easier because no one had like thought of anything yet like plop plop fizz fizz wouldn't uh i think that i think that could be just as effective now yeah she had a couple other

ones that were like goaded why was it two plops because before people would drop one alka-seltzer in so they just made the ad like the noise so she intentionally made it seem like you should be using two alka-seltzers and it like doubled their revenue everyone's like oh i've only been using one that's so interesting because nowadays when you get alka-seltzer it comes in a pack of two yeah probably true probably because of mary wells lawrence yeah that's awesome so i only need away for all for all the women mark women with tummy issues marketing women heroes yes my mother yes your mother would probably not exist or she would still be a person my mother would not exist your mother your mother would probably have a different profession if it wasn't for me she

would have done it ask her about mary wells lawrence though next time he's here sure i'm curious if she knows oh but also yeah peggy is based on her that makes a lot of sense i've never seen her i've never seen the show though yeah i mean she yeah she starts as like an assistant and becomes yeah they're kind of mean to the women in that show very they're so it that show is like oh my god these are the worst guys of all time and chet and i were watching it and we're like god these guys kind of like there was one scene where we're like you know what maybe these guys are kind of like the man and then literally the i said that and then the next scene a kid walks in and a guy just slaps him not even not even his kid like a different person's kid he slaps him

and he was like watch out where you're walking and we're like oh my okay no yeah no they're the worst the drinking at work thing's pretty cool though no it's insane they get fucking hammered are we in the show yeah yeah i mean they're drinking all day every day it's awesome what do you think we do all day yeah what do you guys do all day i teach me something really oh my god i got the what's okay what's the worst part about a walrus tusks tusks conspire you they can here's my ready they can run as fast as a human on land pull that up and i don't buy that for a fucking second well here's a question really like the fastest average human or would it like compete the 100 meter no i mean it's not gonna it's not usain bolt but they can run shockingly fast on

land run they look pretty slow to me well this isn't a video of it running full speed it's just a video sped up great go to that first video this one this is gonna blow my mind if this is true turn the sound on let's see they can go up to 22 miles per hour if necessary i don't know if they video of it i guess i'll believe it when i see it what about all the articles

the instagram chapter so our it's sort of articles i mean every video i've seen i've never seen an animal move slower no i know but they can is this is this the first ever willie misinformation no i mean it's like a document i mean a lot of you are saying it yeah there's just not a there's a video i never said that i never said there's a video of a walrus running as fast as a human that's pretty cool yeah it sounds like they almost never do it though well they don't usually have to never been caught on video apparently it's like a sasquatch it's not it's real maybe sasquatch is just blurry i'm gonna find a video of a walrus running at full speed maybe a bigfoot

just is blurry uh all right should we do sayings that don't exist or casino games that don't exist uh up to you oh casino games like the slot machines or whatever you're a little hard like um what is it running buffalo or something i love this running buff oh that's like a slot yeah yeah i thought that's what you guys were drafting no i went more like different kinds of games i did too yeah all right tsp casino games whatever you'd like these are casino games that don't exist all right six players you each bet secretly on whether or not the other players are going to bet so it's kind of like a game of chicken and so you can bet the amount you can bet the exact number of players they're gonna bet you're gonna bet you can bet if a specific

player is not gonna bet or bet and uh it's kind of a game of deception it's like the finger game almost yes exactly yeah uh drink roulette you sit around a table it's like looks like a poker blackjack table but there's no game you just write on a little piece of paper what drink you think they'll bring you and then the waitress comes and gives everyone a drink and you flip your card and if you got it right it's free i like that and there's like a handful options like she's not gonna be making like a cronkini or something never been heard of that yeah me neither players are barefoot under the table one player per hand is getting their feet tickled and you have to guess who it is so it's a skill-based game but also like a numbers game because you have to you have

to toughen up your feet right get used to getting tickled and uh if you are the person getting tickled and you don't get caught you get like 5x what the other players would get if they picked and there's the hand the game you're playing still matter what is the game you're playing still matter it's more of like just to kind of distract but yes so there are there still are stakes it's normal blackjack yeah yeah imagine hitting blackjack while getting tickled oh because of the blackjack that feels like heads up seven up is that kind of yeah yeah heads up seven up you never played that as a kid yeah where you like put your head down oh oh why does it feel like that uh because like you're trying to guess who touched your thumb no no you're trying to

guess who is currently getting tickled yeah yeah yeah so you're trying to keep a straight face while you're getting cutting that cutting that yeah uh motley crew apparently used to uh eat dinner and there would be a woman under the table and they'd try to guess who was getting head disgusting oh yeah that's gross dibs andrew and i did that on thursday 1v1 uh i think wait it's not me you're playing 1v1 who's gonna get i can't tell anymore it's not me and i don't see andrew no you're you are getting head but andrew's not at the table yeah i guess i win all right this one is called streaks it's a deck of cards and you gotta go higher or lower and you just keep going and you and uh you're with like a crew and you multiply your money

every one you get right in a row but if you if you get it wrong you lose all the money so it's like that rocket ship game yeah you're like as a team and you go one by one and it's like higher higher and then we're like all right should we call it oh i like that and then you're like all right let's call it and then you get to split the pot okay uh this is just like basically simplifying poker everyone has a cup an upside down cup and one person has a marble under their cup we all look and then you go around you make your case of who you think has the marble under their cup and uh it's just it takes all the skill out of poker it's just the bluffing love that uh poker two it's a live stream of a different table at the casino where people are playing poker

and you sit around a similarly shaped table and you bet on who you think is going to win the hand of the other game. That's fantastic. Like poker on poker. Yeah, I do like that. Poker squared. 4D poker. 4D poker, yes.

Yeah, like wind hits you when they breathe. These are sayings that don't exist. Closing the blinds won't crack the window, alright? It's okay to put up a little barrier if you need some space without fully damaging a relationship you can always put the blinds back up and it'll still be there i love that begging with a blank sign it's a lot easier to get what you want out of life when you put it

out into the universe if you keep what you desire to yourself you're not going to get it that's great that's a good one uh uh if a fan's spinning fast enough you can't count the blades this means uh you know if something is highly successful usually you're not going to be able to tell the individual components so be committed to the group effort and don't worry about standing out as an individual we're so fucking back yeah i thought after after the last sayings we did i was like oh my god we've we've squeezed all we can squeeze out of this we are so back cutting the next bite before you've swallowed you uh you gotta you gotta work on the task at hand before you start thinking about what you're gonna do next yep yeah i do like that closing the door won't clean the

room all right you can put something out of sight for long enough but at some point you just got to get it done come on man come on all uh all of mine were clearly me laying in bed trying to figure them out it's fan blinds and dirty room window all right all right it's like i was like we need to like go to the zoo and do it or something like you like you woke i can actually picture it he woke up realized he had like 15 minutes to do it was like oh my god that's bright okay the fans hitting me it's like in sitcoms where they gotta come up with a fake name they're like i'm uh mr trophy camera we should do try to every drink at the zoo i'm down um all right let me think of the explanation of this one seeing how high we

can get at the zoo i was the highest guy at the zoo all right let me think of the explanation to this one learn to land before you fly see how you're going to get out of a situation before you get yourself into it love that that was well said thank you rusty did you ever go to gasparella when you're in florida no but that was a big that was a big like pilgrimage that kids did every year it looks i hadn't fully uh gotten into my pirate phase when that okay when that was going on or when i was down there but that looks right up my alley the only problem is is like i think people in the same way people go to mardi gras and they're not really there to celebrate like french culture or whatever so mardi gras is like it's i think i would maybe feel a little

bit slighted that they were they were just using pirates as an excuse oh okay yeah i was gonna message lucas about it as like the next drinking around the world drink every drink at gasparilla So I was like, oh, he likes pirates Yeah, that would be fun I didn't realize how much I think it's in the spring It's like February Rusty's song of the day

Today we are gonna do Wild Horses By the Rolling Stones Very, very good Calming song I will say You did not stay long enough at the concert to hear it Did they play it?

I think so, yeah fuck well i didn't i didn't like the stones when i went there right um the the uh album cover is just of it's called sticky fingers and then his uh the album cover is just like his penis print on through his leather pants but it's the calmest song of all time so that's something interesting about that um guys go follow rusty songs of the day on spotify when we hit 10 000 followers We're at $5,000 now, I think. When we double that, two of you are getting $101. Just DM me a screenshot of you following to enter.

Have a great rest of your Wednesday. Have a great weekend. We will see you bright and early for our Monday episode. We love you guys so much. Peace. Monday. Sorry. Thank you.