Will & Rusty's Playdate - we drank around harry potter world

Episode Date: August 18, 2025

On yet another viral Playdate, the boys are hungover from drinking around Harry Potter World, Willy meets Ike at karaoke, and Lauren shares an update on her life. The gang also gets scammed by a ride at Universal and decide whether or not a fraternity sweetheart ITA for kicking the guys in the balls. Plus, the boys draft boardwalk shirts that don’t exist and commercials that don’t exist. As always, we wrap up with Rusty’s song of the day. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP OUR MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/ RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: If you haven’t signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code PLAYDATE and you will get up to a $1500 First Bet Offer on your first wager with BetMGM! Use our code for $20 off your first SeatGeek order*: https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/PLAYDATE Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. 00:00 - Intro 2:09 - We’re hungover 11:46 - Rolling on food in bed 13:24 - Drinking around Harry Potter World 19:17 - Pete Alonso 22:20 - The Flight of the Hippogriff Scam 24:18 - Poopgate 26:50 - Lauren Update 28:56 - $5 Cameos 33:54 - Drinking around Harry Potter World Part 2 38:34 - Roadmap 41:22 - Pitches 52:55 - AITA 55:54 - Teach Me Something 1:02:22 - This Guy Rocks 1:07:56 - Boardwalk Shirts That Don’t Exist 1:09:35 - Commercials That Don’t Exist 1:12:08 - RSOTD #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

those girls would turn the most innocent i don't want to dox him but there was i had this friend this is the podcast but we're gonna say that on the podcast well i just want to get this thought out and we can cut it if we don't like it okay i went to i grew up with this kid who is can only be described as a sweetie pie oh and eat those girls were so sexy to him that he literally would drive him mad yeah he couldn't he was losing his fucking mind see the fact that they were nine to twelve months old there was something there's something so unbelievably hot at that age about a girl being a year three quarters of a year to a year older than you yeah it drove me it literally drove me fucking insane and you were like an animal back then too you know i was not

you're like a play i was not play date play date episode 132 episode 132 magic johnson christian latner in college is that right yeah christian latner i was gonna say cory clement christian latner show me show me christian latner show me a picture show me cory clement so what all right wait i want to see if i got cory clement right no that wasn't clement fucking cl that wasn't even fucking em no that was close number 30 fuck wait you were just saying who was the oh no he's 32 on the cowboys nice cory clement you know a lot of 32 on the cowboys that's crazy when you were trying to guess the 30 the other day you guessed a bunch of a bunch of 32s you're right all right here's a question

for you back to back to women being hot because they're a year older than you at what age does that stop like my girlfriend one year older than me i find that incredibly sexy but i feel like at one age every stops one year how old are you 25 i knew i found you fucking sexy it is that checks out you're older than us wait also context we drink every drink in harry potter world yesterday and i feel awful i feel truly horrible there's a huge hill outside of our office that you have to oh my god like when i bike here i have to like book it up this hill and i thought i was gonna puke on this hill i only walked up it and there was a group of people fucking jogging up it and i'm not i don't even think i'm that mean of a guy under my breath i literally said go fuck yourself

everyone i thought they were running behind me i literally wanted to break their knees with a crowbar every guy i saw running the boardwalk today i was like fuck you fuck you i actually hate i what i i wanted to where did you go last night oh we went oh sorry we no no we went uh we it was no no we for context for the playmates willie and i were at trivia yeah after harry potter world we drank 12 drinks then we went home to my house had a couple beers and then went to trivia so we were attempting to compete academically with completely sober people after 15 to 18 drinks it was not good and uh and then i heard willie came back with a burrito which i didn't know was a thing so i went to heavy-handed which i was kind of shitting on the other day

because i still think it's i think it's good but i a lot of people were like it's no in or in and out way worse than heavy-handed yeah but you're like i'm gonna grab burger and we're like cool and you can like bring food into the place we're at totally got distracted never saw you i know i went there i got it to go and then i saw a table open up and i just said all right i'll just sit here and eat it you just sat there and then i ordered a waymo home and then i was listening to uh i went to i can't make you love me by bonnie ratt and this group of teenagers pulled up next to me and just fucking laughed at me that reminds me like the driving crooner yeah what is that again the tim robinson sketch where he's like his wall it's like

it's gonna look fake like i'll be at the perfect thing where else is it and then he's like oh no here comes some teenagers or frat boys i think frat guys i think it's like oh no here comes some frat boys and they're like you were kind of being little fucking frat boys on the way home with our wands we kept we pulled up at this light yeah we're being we were casting spells at people with our new wands and then the light was just we thought the light was gonna be like a 15 like a thing and then the literally the two minute light we were like doing like a bit and then it was just like okay now we're just sitting here we got guys to close their laptop that was kind of funny yeah i said laptopius closes and the guy will close his laptop at harry potter world no no this was

like in they were at alfred they were right outside my house like when we were coming back dude yeah that was a dude the drinks at harry i cannot emphasize enough the disparity in the strength of the drinks between harry potter world and star wars world because we did this at star warriors world yeah and it was like fine they're they're star wars world is actively trying to prevent you from getting drunk yes like they put all these like checks and balances to make sure it's like you can only get two and then you have to leave the whole restaurant come back in and all the drinks are like super watered down and stuff harry potter world drinks were i was fucking hammered dude the guy the guy at 10 a.m we're the only people drinking was like so down to just get

everyone trashed he i think he thought he was like doing us a favor by making them stronger and he was just making it so much harder it was like we we had six drinks at the six drink mark usually we're like fine at the six drink mark i remember all of us looking at each other being like oh we're fucked i don't it was like when you're like when you're swimming out in the ocean and you're in that zone where you can see the wave is getting way too big and you don't you either have to like retreat or like fight through it yeah but there's no point there's no way that you're going to be able to like get over it smoothly like we were just that happened what what are you what do you mean when is that like surfing or swimming or yeah surfing or

boogie boarding or oh i didn't know you could get like spiked butterbeer is that something that's you're not he was like so i had made this big stink like he did a fucking performance he was like i know about harry potter world you can't actually put the shot in the drink i said you're not there to get the butterbeer and the shot and then they're gonna like because i said like they'll get mad because in orlando they will hand you the butterbeer and the shot and they go don't fucking put that in there but this guy this guy was like yeah you pour it in you do it like a jager bomb you could do like he was like giving us all the options yeah but then he was like he did say yeah we don't we care way less out here he was like in orlando they care and then he's

like sometimes corporate will come in and they yell at us but the guy literally didn't give shout out joseph in orlando are you like ordering the butterbeer and the shot and they're like hey don't put that in there they literally go they go do not fucking put that in there and they don't stop but you know if you if they see you do it they will literally they'll like ream you out in orlando like fuck you bro i hated the that you did that it's almost exactly like i went to gaslight last night i did over my head what the fuck's new how did it go uh with the same crew we were with mike uh yeah max and parker nice and then killer guys and then summer and scott from the bartenders from june shine we're friends with the bartenders

I love the bartender. I'm friends with the bartender. You love that bartender. I love those bartenders. No, you like one of them more. No, they're both my friends. It felt like you guys were kind of vibing last night. Dude, you...

Am I looking too much into that? You fucking dirty bastard. Anyway. You rat bitch. You fucking rat bitch. you pig fuck you fucking you fucking pig motherfucking rat fuck asshole fuck you fuck sorry um somebody's got a crush fuck you man you fucking rat go fucking shove your head pussy fuck you kill yourself bitch rat fuck all right i'm sorry i took that too far we um

sorry so you go to gaslight the mic cut out what the mic cut out while i was singing it so we have one of those like special where were you moments where the whole bar comes together where were you and the crowd so i said fuck it i put the mic over my shoulder and i went everyone and everyone actually i'm chills confident that everyone has the same recollection of how special what it was too i have goosebumps just thinking about it i know and there's popcorn and oh ike was there have you ever had ike sandwiches no no yeah oh you're gonna care way less than dude that's like a i expect like a british like documentary being like be like on the on the 14th of oct of august will denell and go up there just like any other show

but the mic cut out yeah and the crowd banded together and bailed him out there it's like top five rock moments in history he was literally a top five rock moment in history top five respect top five moments that gave uh restored my faith in humanity moments yeah moments to watch to restore your faith in top five karaoke moments my faith in humanity wait can i airdrop you a video yeah it's like a dm with uh someone here with a hilarious name wait is it air drop oh no no this person this person just dm me and their name sounds like a harry potter as well kimbrosis kimbrosis like a ailment oh man look look look look look so ike's top five for context before you play this

this is top five karaoke moments that restore my fancy humanity no no this is so ike's is a sandwich place that we get on set a lot like it's like i think okay it's like an epic sandwich spot yeah it's pretty good they got a good reuben which i told him uh and we're looking at this guy we're like dude i swear that guy looks familiar and then well i don't understand does he plot is his face part of the branding by the video he'd been sitting next to me for context and we're trying to figure out how we know wait can you pause it on the thing but you you just happen to have no he had it on his seat i'm like i'm looking wait i think there's a better lighting on the or can you see that can you see this yeah man i can see i can't see it yeah oh

yeah i just gotta take my son oh my god so we're looking at this guy and i'm like dude that looks like the guy from ike's and then i looked next to me in a seat and it's that bag with that thing on it and i'm like are you is that you and he's like yeah baby bingo some girl just that's ike so i was crying i fucking met ike i don't even wait so he do you think he brings that out as like a ploy to like it was full of him do you like gives him out i don't know i should have asked for one because i got home and i air fried falafel and then i guess what i did with it fell asleep on it yeah yeah yeah i fell asleep on it do you know this about will andrew no he falls he'll make full like elaborate plates of dinner and then fall asleep on it and his bed

looks like a fucking cry one time he did it on lasagna and i wish i had every time i try and find this picture i can't find this maybe it's a figment of my imagination but it looked like a it looked like a crime scene like it looked like a guy who just got shot there were a few really bad ones waffle house is really bad the syrup so you just get lasagna like all over the bed yeah so i this do you like roll in it or something yeah so i roll in my sleep and i go into bed trying to eat food in my bed and then i fall asleep and then i roll on top of it it happens i would say six to seven times a year are you serious and it's only when it's like the most inconvenient i guess it's only when i'm drinking all things considered that is not the worst food

to roll over on no what was the one i rolled over on that was so bad oh dude i did granola like a couple weeks ago that was pretty funny just pulling it out a different i was i was pulling i'm pulling granola out of my pillow sheets for a month oh my god yeah do you have to like wash your sheets yeah you're supposed to i gotta i don't i woke up at my fucking camera tiny i don't know i woke up at uh three in the morning this morning nose gushing blood whoa which is which happens it happens when it gets dry out and uh it's happened since i was a kid and it that paired with the anxiety there's like the first time i'd been sober all day we just i had so much anxiety about my behavior you were great that's awesome was i okay you were

fantastic let's go we got in a fight we got in a huge we will and i got in a blowout fight over uh like we we were in the wrong we're trying to find our car you say oh yeah yeah because you said it in your video you're oh that was a different one we are at each other we're jumping out jumping down each other's throats which sounds sounds like an awesome night sounds off fuck did we jump down each other's throats last night oh no we got so drunk last night we jumped down we got in a fight about like what floor our car was on and yeah we want for the record lucas was driving neither of us we were looking for my car but lucas was driving and we were in the wrong parking garage and i was like we were never in a stairwell this is the wrong one we were never in

a stairwell and willie was like we were we went down an escalator then in a stairwell then down another escalator and i was like no we went down an escalator walked down and it was just like nonsense we were like actually like i was so mad i want it was the most mad i've ever been in a guy in my entire because we were both like kind of saying the same thing but we just couldn't convey our thoughts and then we got in the car and willie was just like i'm so sorry yeah that was ridiculous we were like actually wanting to like fucking eat each other yeah his bones wait you said in the video that wait wait at the end no no in the beginning we were like yelling about something else oh yeah it's like luke was trying to say something

and it just didn't luke was trying to pit us against each other luke was trying to pit us against oh luke yelled really loud and the whole restaurant looked at us and i get really like i already hate filming in public believe it or not even though it's like my job and uh and whenever someone knows we've kind of like created a system where like it we can do it stealthily because we're doing it stealthily stealthily we're doing it on iphone now because it's just easier in these public places and like no one is looking at you but luke yelled super loud and the whole restaurant was looking at us like fuck those guys now and so i was like trying to like corral everyone and then it just it we all were going to each other's what was he yelling about like

we had fun though right i think a fucking blast cool why did he need to yell if you guys are just they were doing a funny bit it actually was funny but like it sacrificed our it sacrificed our um like guerrilla style shooting we went guerrilla style last night dude went on a hinge date she went guerrilla we did guerrilla we did guerrilla style we beat we punched each other in the chest she came over and beat on my chest i beat i beat on her chest call that guerrilla style i don't know if you should say that beating out a woman's chest i meant like beating off oh i beat on her chest oh man is that weird yeah there's not beat off on her chest no stop oh freak creep pervert perfect really got chosen for the one the all of them oh yeah yeah which for the

people at home i know people that have done this like eight to ten times and have never gotten chosen the one chose me actually the one chose him yeah that doesn't happen every time so like you're going with like a group of like 30 people and then he picks one guy to like and like the fucking like wind blows on you it's like it's like from sorcerer like you know in sorcerer's stone when like harry like grabs the wand and like the whole room lights up and his hair blows i like did it to willie when willie tried one of the bad wands like all the shit flew off the trail it was like sick i was and mind you i was hammered there were kids i played it cool though i didn't do anything i was totally cool he was cool i will say he got i wish i may have too he got

unbelievably emotional when they like found the one right i was acting i was acting no i got really like i got like oh my god the one chose me i will say like it mattered well in that moment because the guy started that fucked up and like something like this was like great like i like was like speechless watching watching this happen so i think if it happened to me i would probably like almost cry i started crying does it happen in every group they like pick one person or okay But, like, the odds were 1 in 30. Wow. And it was very funny because there were other kids in there that definitely deserved it more than any of us.

They were like children. We were all children. We, like, in the line were just like, it is a fact that one of the three of us will get it. We did not even. I think if a kid got it, we would have, like, thrown a temper tantrum. Do you think they pick or it's, like, random? I think the guy, I think all of them... Because I was like, Lucas, get out of the way.

Lucas, Lucas. Lucas was right in front of me and I was like, get out of the way. I told Lucas to stay because I wanted him to pick me. And then Lucas went... And I was like, get out of the way. I want to see. I want to see. And the guy was like, oh, you really want to see, don't you?

Or something. I think it's probably because they did tell... I think they told Lucas to move too. I think it might be a guy that's standing where you or I... They pick whoever's standing where you and I are standing because we were like right in front of the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. um i got a one two no big deal nice they made a one two that's what that would be your line right

now oh uh sorry do it again yeah i got a one two they made a one two and uh i got it engraved with my initials and uh it is custom it's not custom but it is like no it isn't in the movie shaving the like like shaving the serial number off your lawn i got all i was all emotional yesterday dude he was like the woman so like you leave the room and now you're in the actual wand shop and the woman's trying to like tell willie about like his new wand and he is just like inconsolable and then pete alonzo broke the all-time mets home run record and i got emotional again wow he had a big day i posted on my instagram i was like i will tell my kids about this moment i woke up today i I was like, what the fuck?

Yeah, were you drunk? I was so fucking drunk. I deleted it. You will post, you post like, the only time you post anything that I think you would regret is always about the Mets. Yeah, but we'll go to a Mets game and he posts like a picture of, like every time I go with Willie,

he has picked the seats that are going to be the closest to Juan Soto, even if we're sacrificing like visibility of the rest of the game. And he'll post pictures and be like, Te Amo, with like hearts and stuff. No, I have no regrets on those. I stand by that. However, I do regret posting a video of Pete Alonzo and saying, no matter what happens, I will tell my kids about this. They're like, what would happen?

What could possibly happen? I think I meant in the context of the Mets being bad. No matter what Pete Alonzo does in his social life, I don't care, I don't care. No matter what, I don't care what the fuck that rat fuck says. He could murder a guy and I would still tell my kids about this. were you watching it live or you just it's not at my house yeah we watch it oh you watch it live yeah yeah okay and then right after that my internet and tv like crashed and we just didn't

do anything about it we like didn't notice oh yeah i didn't even notice that my buddy parker came lives across the street yeah and he came over he's a nice guy right very nice really you like him i think he's fucking epic promise he's also a handsome guy okay buddy keeping your pants will's got hot will's got hot friends yeah i surround myself with baddies bro um my neighbor got in the elevator today with their dog again it was that thought it's the it's my favorite dog in the building it's the one that obama the one that jumped off the roof and broke broke its legs is his name obama or no no i think his name's um or her name i don't know what her name is chicken i think maybe yes yeah same same i got a surprise he's so scared all the time i got a surprise for

you guys and the playmates yep i got a i got a video from lauren as you all know by now we've teamed up with bed mgm this season we'll be using bed mgm lines to make all our picks and we'll have special offers for our listeners each week if you haven't signed up for bed mgm yet use bonus code play date and you will get up to a $1,500 first bet offer on your first wager with BetMGM. Here's how it works. Step one, download the BetMGM app and sign up using bonus code play date. Step two, deposit at least $10 and place your first wager on any game. Step three, you will receive up to $1,500 in bonus bets if your bet loses. Just make sure you use bonus code play date when you sign up. Don't forget, if you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code play date and get your

1500 first bet offer today i love you let's get back into the episode i had one thing can you talk about the flight of the hippogriff and how short it is so fucking ass you've done that dude my girlfriend it ruined like the day for her if we waited in line we had the express pass so we didn't have yeah if we had to wait in line i think i would have like started that was the most ass yep you know it's so frustrating i've ever seen in orlando hagrid's which is like the like the primary ride at harry potter world in orlando or the old one is literally i think the perfect roller coaster because full of bugs makes your hands hurt it's it's it's accessible in the sense that like it's not scary it's not scary enough for like anyone to not go on it

right it has uh it has a drop it has one of the ones where you go up and then backwards it has acceleration it has fast turns it's the perfect ride and it's you get to see hagrid and it's sad it is a little sad but you can uh you can what but i was gonna say if anyone here is started flight of the hippogriff fuck you if you were the engineer on that i literally i hope you lose your job i hate that rod i hate that i hope they i hope i'm your biggest hater i hope any money that universal paid you they sue you for it and your kids have to go to a different school it takes approximately eight seconds yep it was i i think it was i think it was less than 30 seconds i actually do yeah google flight of hippogriff like

length that's what i was just saying length do you think i'm like i think you're goaded goaded yes sure yes it's a thousand feet i don't know what that means maybe like time like duration how long how long duration a minute six seconds oh my god in six seconds i mean that is fucking insane i forgot to tell the playmate something the craziest thing in the world happened yesterday i came in to grab something at like seven in the morning and on my way out uh i see these two like shoes against our gate and of the office of our office and i thought it was ben barrett because he was wearing like white rebox and so i thought maybe he was like locked out and i went to go like let him in huge squirt of like completely liquid poop hits the ground and i was like oh

my god what and the guy from behind the gate starts like grumbling i'm like that's not ben barrett and uh could have been and then i was like what are you doing and uh and he just left and then i was like worried that if i opened the door he was gonna have some in his hand and like fling poo at me and so i like tried to go out the back door and that was locked from the inside somehow and so i had to just take my chances he wasn't there but then edge so people were using that door because they didn't want to walk through the poop and apparently a homeless guy came in do you see bobby's slack a homeless guy came in here and like bobby came around the corner and there's a homeless guy in the sports edX and fucking she got so scared bobby said he turned the corner and

the guy was like is that real yeah a guy just walked in our office apparently it's happened like multiple times bobby said it's how that's the third homeless guy to do that yeah well remember we had that backpack sitting outside of our office yeah what was that a long time is that a homeless guy some homeless guy like threw it over into the fence area and couldn't get it and no i think he was like dumping something because i talked to rick about it and rick's like i'm really worried that there is going to be like human remains what if there's like a head in there yeah there's a guy getting head in there you open the backpack and be like zip it back up i think there might be human remains yeah because he was just like it's like a dirty backpack that someone like purposely like

was dumping getting rid of outside of our building why wouldn't they put it in a trash can i don't know i mean it was like a place that was like hard to reach because it was like that gated area so like we couldn't get in there like a cock unless you had like a key you open it up there's a full cop and there's like thank god i've been it's been weeks it's a full cock cop cock yeah it finally got moved i noticed it was gone like yesterday andrew put the video of the guy pooping right here doing the little hershey squirt blur his hershey squirt all right should we watch an update from lauren lauren sent us this one like a week ago no no she sent me another one this is an update on lauren's life which i love lauren death i don't know i don't know what her

new she said she's just been doing a lot of planning for uh because zero posts have come out yeah i call it the silly week of a job right it's like it's a silly week yeah it's like so this week but with a new job i actually saw remember we saw our office yesterday no on the way into universal grill brew oh grill brew yeah i saw i saw a place called grill brew all right this is an update on lauren's life i haven't watched this yet she's gonna throw up is she just gonna be her pulling trig that would be so fucking funny it's just a minute long video happy wednesday i've realized that i don't know how to start a video or like talk to the camera Without doing things with my hands

Um She's talking about her hands I just wanted to say that I miss you guys I love you Happy Wednesday or whatever day you're listening to this on Don't forget about me Or you're screwed For real

Don't forget about me Um What else Yeah she looks so familiar How's everyone's August going I look so tired She sent this She sent this video

This is a fucking Nothing burger Lauren you didn't Prep anything You don't have anything To say Empty sauce But love you all

Miss you XOXO Okay I love What was that I love Lauren to death What the fuck was that video I don't start Fucking nothing burger

I don't start recording myself If my brain is Quote unquote Empty sauce That was ass That was ass checking Lauren Get better Looks like Lauren is

Looks like Lauren is Fucking killing life since she's left she said not one sentence of substance she said it's all it was just like pleasantries then the best the most interesting part about that video was that it's august now that that that is the video that i send to a guy i don't know at all that was your mom your mom goes it's uncle trent's birthday yeah that's like one of those like five dollar cameos that if we ordered a cameo from josh block that's what it was that was what that was almost less than what it would be the best can you pull up like josh block cameo he has one that

literally funny where he says like he's like he's like hi ryan the video just ends should we go to like his account or yeah no go to dude he is a 2.8 so do like josh block yeah that one right there yeah yeah hi uh shin wait wait start it over hi uh

shin what wait wait start it over start it over hi uh shin dude this

poor fucking kid is gonna this is gonna be I mean that was hi uh shin

this guy this guy's gonna die from drinking it's gonna be all of our fault wait he just he just says name and then i think they have to be minimum like 10 seconds he just fucking waits it out my favorite is hi tony the lead paints there why is my camera lower am i gonna look like is this gonna be a straight crotch all episode uh yeah it's gonna be sc um crotch sounds like a good time to me dude she i gave her that straight crotch There's a lot of crotch. I beat on her chest like a King Kong.

Oh, that's so gross, William. Isn't that a Bruno Mars song? All that Gorilla style. Yeah, what is it? Oh, bang, bang, Gorilla. Is that real? Yeah, that's a real Bruno Mars song. He's in like crippling debt to Vegas and just has to do shows in perpetuity.

I've seen that. I don't know if I'd buy it. I would just, I mean, he's got to be. He's so much money. I know, but I think apparently he spends so much more. Here, can I do you my Bruno Mars impression? Please. I am a treasure.

You are my treasure. We all got treasure. Treasure. Willie, you've been concerting it up. I've been concert maxing. I've been sporting event maxing. uh and i do it all with seat geek and i want to show you how much just how much i love seat geek because honestly it's a little scary uh i've got look i got all my tickets right here

you're gonna look boom where'd i get tickets gracie abrams mets mets mj lenderman mets mets mets mj lenderman casey musgraves boston college florida at texas that was a good one dang uh let's was the first thing i ever bought was rocky's at dodgers in 2022 bang july 4th 4th of july where were you i was on seat geek uh with over 28 million downloads seat geek is the number one rated ticketing app there's more than 70 000 events on seat geek concerts sports festivals you name it uh seat geek has your back guys because every ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10 so you know you're getting a good deal uh look for the green dots green means good red means bad and every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee you can use code playdate for 20

off tickets at seat geek that's 20 off your first purchase with the promo code playdate make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later thank you seat geek we love you let's get back in the episode i'm gonna tell you this when i finished peeing just now yeah i went to grab the roll of toilet paper that was on the upper deck of the toilet because i had gotten a little on the seat and i was gonna wipe it off i'll own up to that and i knocked it into the toilet you know my leave it no my colluding people i think they're stealing my toilet no i picked it out and put it in the trash can but i even that doesn't totally feel that still feels gross because

it was covered in my pee oh it fell in with it before he flushed correct yeah oh my lord imagine you like clog the toilet and like as we do the podcast you see like water just rising like in the studio um i just don't know if i did the wrong thing that's all you can do right the one i had one where i dropped it like i got like just like part of it so like half of it was still dry put back on the thing i because i didn't know what to do it wasn't pee though i wasn't peeing it's just water i was like maybe it'll dry and be like wavy yeah um imagine it's like dries and it's so wavy wait did you just say that should we um let's wrote let's you know oh wait oh everyone i wanted to ask about drink around the world yeah so you guys are there all day are you just sitting

in the cafeteria we like did we did it in shifts of force yesterday yeah we did four drinking around the world like at epcot we just the whole time you're just moving drinking this one you we drink four drinks go ride a ride get dressed four drinks activity drinks activity and there's 16 drinks at harry potter world there were 12 there were drinks we didn't even touch though i know we only did the ones that were like oh my god we only did the ones that were like harry potter also last week i was talking a big game to you where you were like i've never been those guys i've never seen those guys that are hungover and like need sunglasses inside and i was like yeah that's so like performative like a guy that has never drank before and wants everyone to know he's hungover

today today this is this is all sensitivity this is all way too much i've never gotten that from hangover we should do like one of these days if one were really hungover and we have the pod we should do a like substitute teacher or like hungover teachers do just roll in a tv and make the playmates watch like harry potter put on a movie for them and every once in a while we'll say something speaking of teachers i just started breaking bad oh first time ever you're gonna fucking love it it's the best it is i would do anything to watch it for the first time yeah it's awesome it's the best it's the best show that's ever existed besides malcolm in the middle I'm four episodes in, I think.

Malcolm in the Middle, New Girl, Breaking Bad, Modern Family. I haven't seen literally one of those. Family Guy. Those are my goats. That's my Mount Rushmore. New Girl's the funniest show that's ever existed. Arrested Development. The Office.

The Office, yeah. We sound like the MD Foodie Boys right now where they're like, yo, what's your favorite show? I really like The Office. Yeah, The Office is good. Arrested development to office, parks and rec, and severance. Yo, what's your favorite vegetable? Banana.

What did you say? Beignet? Beignet? Beignet. Banana. Banana. Dude, did you watch that? I thought banana was a vegetable.

you gotta watch uh you gotta watch the theo von risler episode it is the funniest episode of podcasting of all time he's talking the riser's talking about flying to nashville to meet theo and he's like i was in first class and theo's like oh hell yeah and he's like dude and they gave me the best food on the plane he's like he like pulls a picture of it it's so clearly chicken enchiladas and neither of them know what they're called and theo von's like man those things are good like i wish they'd name them otherwise you and i are just gonna have to keep sitting here and describing them to each other that's awesome how old is the risler eight or seven i'm pretty sure he actually just turned nine pull up risler age like what grade would he

be in he's not nine he's i think he's he just turned nine in april i told you he's gonna be in fourth grade probably wait the risler has a wikipedia page he's in third grade yeah so he's I'm trying to think about what I was doing. He is also known as Joseph and is eight years old. That's not true at all. His name is Christian. Wait, wait. So apparently they talked about fourth grade.

Wait, wait. Go to his Wikipedia page. His name is Christian, I thought. Oh, Christian Joseph. Got it. So what is it? Like, he's going to be famous for the rest of his life, right? I think.

If he could scroll down. He could parlay this into tens of millions of dollars. Yeah. Did you see him playing Switch with every celebrity ever? No. You didn't see that? He just talked about how he got a second Switch, though. Wait, can you scroll down on that?

That kind of bums me out. Rizzler vaping allegations. Charlie D'Amelio vaping allegations. Did Charlie D'Amelio vape or not? It was an anxiety pen. Oh, really? Yeah. It was just a dab pen.

But they were like, it's an anxiety pen. That's what I call my... Pull up Charlie D'Amelio thick. Dude, pull up video guy that is hot. Yeah, pull up, oh, Andrew, pull up hot guy Friday Night Lights. Pull up Friday guy. God, he's so fucking hot. Whoa, he's so fucking hot.

All right, should we roadmap it up? Fine. All right, we have a beautiful episode for you guys today. We're going to hear your pitches followed by our pitches. then we're gonna do am i the asshole and then we're gonna do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey instead of this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard there's rocks in my yard and then we are gonna do teach me something i've got a fucking great one today i'm really excited about it i have a really really really

good one and then willie and i are gonna do um commercials that don't exist and then we'll do uh shirts you could shirts you what the fuck is it shirts you could buy at the boardwalk and then we'll finish up with rusty's song of the day go follow rusty's songs of the day on spotify for your chance to win 101 when we hit uh 10 000 followers god this is the best oh dude after this i'm gonna get back in bed i was watching uh that i was what don't stop showing me that will has this picture on his phone of peppa pig but she's made out of like penis and it's so fucking gross dude i was watching a okay asshole i was watching prisoner of azkaban this morning with my wand and like like casting spells wait instead of your tv

did you see my story i admittedly i was the one that exploded her how early did you get up i get up i get up i cannot sleep past 6 30 no regardless of how late i go that's crazy that's awesome you're one of those people i I got a horrible sleep last night. My app gave me a 25. I was up for an hour between 3 a.m. and 4 a.m. this morning. It was brutal. All right, should we hear a pitch?

So you, like, naturally wake up at 6.30? Yeah. I can't do that shit, bro. I naturally wake up whenever I have to be at work. I will. If I close my blinds, I think I could sleep till, like, 11. But I just, the sun comes up and I wake up. Oh.

Yeah. I used to when I was a kid I would sleep until like fucking 2 in the afternoon but like last night for instance like you've been drinking all day

you wouldn't want to close your blinds no cause I had to wake up and do my drafts and stuff draft draft um

how does it track your sleep score heart rate oh heart rate yeah I think so maybe like breathing ugh interesting

I think it just makes up a number every day and it influences my mood probably all right pitches brother all right hey rudolph blitzen and comet rudolph jeremy here truth be told i saw something on instagram that i had the same idea but i explained it on it i thought it'd

be a great pitch what's the worst part about having a gym membership i don't know i've never had one it's really far from your house so far away it's like 100 miles from your house um finding people on the one in another state finding the motivation to go even when you have a membership i give you the reverse membership at this gym you get a monthly membership for free the only exception is you pay every day that you don't go uh prices have yet to be determined and can be decided based on interest for example you go seven days a week no charge you go two days a week you get charged for five days miss say five dollars a day if you're a loyal member we'll give you two rest days where you can miss for free uh say you only go to the gym twice a week still

cheaper than a cheap gym membership but it motivates you to go more often i like this really good does that exist i feel like that would be i just feel like the only people who join it are people go every day and then it wouldn't make any money but wouldn't you couldn't you just like how long you have to go because i would just like stop by and like tap my scan my card and then leave but i guess you'd feel like a real piece of shit dude yeah i do like this idea a lot you know what i'm in i'm in for 40 dollars what do you do 40 minute match me i'll match you 40 but hey we got 80 bucks for you to get this idea off the ground uh yeah when we get paid which so i don't understand a few days i don't understand we're getting paid this month would

that work would that make money what like no because it would just all the gym hardos would join yeah people go every day and people who didn't go just wouldn't join yeah but not everyone's gonna go seven days a week like yeah maybe like every day that you don't go is like fucking wildly expensive i just don't think you'd make enough money what if like every day you don't go they like come over to your house and kick you in the balls but it still costs like a bunch what if every day you don't go you it gets like piping hot in your house so it makes you want to do your ac goes up a degree it gets so hot in your house you're like all right i'm going to the gym you're like i have to i literally cannot fucking stand that's actually a really good idea i love it

let's hear another pitch all right let me go grab the one from noel nice hey uh you just kicked the there's a desk there yes i call him an idiot on accident you rat fuck you fucking pig hello yo gaba and gaba gaba go i'll be dante robinson hello yo gaba and dante robinson okay what is the worst part of eating food late at night oh man oh my god you know that you're gonna regret it in the morning but you are such a you have such a low amount of willpower that you literally don't give a fuck at all about what you're doing to your body so you're just

gonna eat it like a little fucking pig over the sink and you hope one of your roommates doesn't come out because you'd be embarrassed that you're eating grated cheese over the sink like a fucking rat that's just how i feel you sleep on it yeah you fall asleep on it you roll over on it like will it looks good dude all your roommates think you got murdered that's right you have it all over your body and comforter when you wake up because oh really in the kitchen when your bed is right there yes um to solve this classic issue that the common folk around me last night that's crazy sorry i bring you suck cloth oh or or suck sheets oh god wait what's this name what's the name a knoll knoll knoll i want to just i want to let you know before i even hear the rest of this pitch

i know a couple guys out there maybe one's in this room that would abuse the fuck out of suck sheet and it would turn into like a weird parasocial relationship with the bed i'm actually my that's the one that you've been saying like i'm gonna read this yeah and then it happened to me the night before yeah that's special that's divine intervention that's special have you seen that um that house that has like the hole that you put your laundry it's like a tube yeah and it like sucks the laundry and i was like i'm putting my dick in it yeah yeah everyone's gonna all i want to say is a couple brothers you know when you roll over on your stomach and you start humping the bed you're just like slightly grinding on it let me tell you with the suction i would i

might i might reach over to the nightstand and turn the suck sheet on dude i think i would put a suck sheet on my butthole and now that i'm thinking about it oh you don't even yeah it just turns into like it ruins your life because you don't even have to get up to shit anymore you just shit in the suck hole takes it wherever it fucking goes yeah you can just spit your neighbors walking by your house in the suck hole fucking shoots out poop and like pillowcases out of music oh why do they have what if it gets like your stuff like what if your phone gets launches your iphone across the street my laptop why are you assuming that the back end of it is and it launches across the street.

Oh, my God. It's like Kit Kat rappers in, like, your underwear. I ain't no Kit Kat rapper. I ain't no Kit Kat rapper, but I'll break a piece off. Your neighbors, like, start leaving you notes. They're like, turn your suck sheet off. Keep launching your hamper at us. You just sucked our apartment up.

My car's in there. Oh, yeah, you've turned it on the wrong way and someone's Tesla comes shooting through your bed frame. All right, yeah, we're in. Sorry, continue. All right. Oh, there's more to it? Yeah, it's a full body suit that you can wear to bed

that absorbs any food that you end up rolling over and it sucks it into the suit and stores it in a layer between your body and the outside world, which keeps the food safe to eat. this way you can bring it out in the morning and recover your precious food we also have complimentary sheets to go with it if you're not a roller in your deep slumber also we have plans to sell suits for if you piss shit crumb or blood yourself come in your uh in your sleep so it can

absorb the other way that's crazy i just said i have bloody nose last night this person's like reading our mind this is really timely nolan sydney you guys fucking you guys get it you get it i so i was actually talking with pete about this pete alonzo no pete wheeler and uh he said he does the same thing so i think that this would work i think it would work too all right what's the dimitri told me he does it too nice patch rich yeah what's the worst part about watching a movie in your house it hurts no i'm gonna be do a real one you fall asleep during it you wish you were you don't feel totally immersed because you're watching like prisoner of azkaban but you're still in like a plain ass muggle living room right muggle is that projector that every

scene it changes your walls to look like the room that the characters are in so like you your bedroom is now like the leaky cauldron or like the great hall or something so you can feel like you're really in the movie yeah wouldn't that be cool i do like that a lot could there be like guys there that are like from the movie that are like what's up dude yeah well they're no because they're in the movie right so malfoy could he be there yeah malfoy could be there because he's only in the movies he's in the whole series for 31 minutes isn't that insane whoa i thought he was a bigger part on average he's in the movies for less than like five minutes that is shocking yeah he made 14 million dollars and he's a regular at venice beach bar yeah is he actually yeah i haven't seen

him there in a very long time but yeah i don't think he's like really done anything i don't think you have to i think you get 14 million dollars do you invest that right you brother you chilling well he's coming back i think for the new series but he's gonna be in it yeah that's what i heard as who himself there's like a bunch of nine-year-olds and there's a 30 year old guy I mean he's got Yeah he's got Is he banging out with him Yeah

Wait look it up I'm curious now He keeps trying to kiss What's his name Tom Felton Yeah he's Oh Broadway He's in the Broadway

Oh gosh Speaking of Harry Potter Broadway Daniel Radcliffe Showed Full dong And balls On Broadway

Are you serious I heard about that Yeah Like recently No like a couple years ago He showed Shaft and B Which is crazy I didn't know Broadway

Did new Was it good Did he have a good Shaft i heard he yeah i heard he had a good like a seven i heard it was skinny it's seven no it's like a seven out of ten got it penis what's my penis a hundred out of ten eight point two all right pitch me will it oh i actually have a good you want to hear a good pitch please you're gonna love this oh my god oh fuck this might suck though no your pitch okay give it your best do you want to read it yeah hat that folds in your wallet all right

tell me how it works hat that folds into your wallet so you don't have to decide whether to wear a hat or not right because you don't want to be the guy that's like holding a hat is so embarrassing it's like the other day i had it like clipped on my belt all night yeah freak i did that at shellback too because they give you a hat and then you're just like oh i didn't want it this doesn't go with my outfit they give you one they did and then they gave you one yeah it's not like a rule oh like buy a drink i know you made it sound like you walk in they hand you a hat well now i gotta be responsible for this hat yeah yeah so i just had it clipped on my belt all night because it was like and wouldn't you have been happier if you could fold it into your wallet

i would have been so happy what if your wallet folds out into a hat there's no hats so like You're, like, Amex and, like... Wait, there's wallet? No, because then it's when... You know, like, the classic prank, like, got your hat. Yeah, yeah. Then it would be, like, your credit card. I hate when girls do that.

Girls in college used to be, like, taking your hat and wearing it. I hate when girls are, like, playing too much. You know what I'm saying? Girls play way too much. I hate that shit, bro. It's, like, this isn't all fun and games. This is my heart. I cannot stand that shit when girls be playing too much.

Andrew, you know what I'm talking about. Andrew, come on. You know what I'm talking about. Come on. Girls do be playing too much. Dude, what the hell? You have a girlfriend. Should we do Am I the Asshole?

She does play too much. Does your girlfriend play too much? Your girlfriend plays too much. I'm going to tell you this. I'm going to tell you this. Both of y'all girlfriends play too much. Flannery, you play too much. If I had a girlfriend, she would play too much.

If I had a girlfriend, she would play the right amount. Andrew, tell us who's the asshole. They made a girl who plays too much? Andrew, they made a girlfriend who plays too much, apparently. Jarvis, make it creamier. Wait. Okay, here it is. I don't know.

Hi, Lee, Harvey, and Oswald. Harvey. Oswald. I have been wanting to get an L. Andrew, when we pick two, then you have to say the other one. Oh. So you're Lee. So I'm Oswald.

I'm Oswald. You're Lee. You're always Oswald. I want to be Oswald for once. Dude, come over. We're playing Lee, Harvey, and Oswald. There's some Dallas shit right here. There is some Dallas shit.

There's some Dallas shit. That's my boy. so can i be oswald this one time all right fine i'll be lee thank you all right um i've been wanting to get an outside perspective on something i got in trouble for a while back long story short i was a sweetheart to a frat back in college and they all found out i absolutely hated getting tickled on my side so at parties they would come around and jab my side so hard it would hurt my rib cage i started telling them that if they did that i would kick them in the balls with the same force and when i would follow through on that promise they would yell at me and

tell me to stop because it's not the same thing if i was so insistent on getting revenge but in but keep in mind uh i was like if you don't touch me i won't kick you in the balls i'm still gonna do this if a guy tickles me regardless of what y'all say but just wanted to see what your guys input was yeah i think that's really weird that they all tickle you that's if what is a sweetheart uh there's like one girl that is like the like fraternity sweetheart and they're like on the composite and they like help out with like stuff okay but i think it's more of like a an informal role but it just means you're like you're a close friend god fraternity we didn't have one but um you didn't know any girls probably we didn't know any fucking girls

we i have videos of of our quote-unquote parties and it is just it's a million guys i threw a party in college one time really no girls and uh it was like a halloween party and only one girl showed up and she was like the girlfriend of a guy that we knew and it was halloween so she was wearing kind of like a slutty like outfit and as soon as she walked in the party she took her jacket off and tied it around her waist to cover up her being the only girl there in a slutty outfit yeah it is like when someone throws a a piece of food into a pool of piranhas yeah um sorry what was it yeah you should definitely kick them in the bowl like they that's super weird that they yeah what the fuck yeah that's like not cool at all when you say you

don't want to i would also i would i would get revenge on them and start hanging out with a different fraternity and like letting all of them tickle you and like be like across the street and like they look over and you're just getting like tickled by like 11 guys you don't want to get tickled though no no but this will show them right so they get i'd say kick them harder yeah step on their balls with heels balls all right i love it nta nta all right should we do teach me something no let's yes let's do teach me something all right teach me something my teach me something is courtesy of one of my favorite instagram accounts uh called hot history club and this is how a feud between america's richest cousins created the waldorf astoria hotel are you

familiar no the waldorf astoria hotel is two hotels next to each other that are connected now by a bridge caroline aster led the elite gilded age 400 society and was known as the mrs aster so the asters were a very rich family she was kind of the s turned she was the face of the asters her nephew william waldorf aster wanted his wife mary to be known as the mrs aster this is her nephew william wait what is this like an instagram carousel i told you it's brought to you buy my favorite history instagram hot history oh i did you say that at the beginning yes i you know what i was thinking about not me totally something different yeah yep william and his aunt started feuding which is awkward because they were neighbors so he decides to level his house

and he built a 13 story hotel the waldorf hotel right next to her house okay the construction noise was so unbearable that mrs astor was forced to move but her son jj astor who also hated his cousin had her house demolished house and built the 17 story four stories taller astoria hotel right next door to his cousin's hotel this is what they looked like next to each other very cool uh embarrassed william fled the country the guy that built the smaller hotel fled the country faking his own death and trying uh trying to remain in hiding because he was so embarrassed he found out that the cousins uh he was found out and the cousins eventually reconciled joining the two hotels uh by a bridge known as peacock alley jj astard then died on the titanic

jesus christ that crazy damn yeah i was getting all twisted around in that so you just pictured one hotel one 13 story hotel and then his cousin just was like fuck you built a 17 story hotel yeah and then they were like you know what let's let's be boys and then he died on the titan and then he fucking i've always thought that there would be it would be funny to make like a movie and at the very last scene is like a happy ending where it's like they're all reunited and then they go and board the titanic and then the movie just ends but it's like what's that like rpats movie where it's like a whole completely normal movie oh and there's 9-11 it ends with him looking out at a fucking plane coming at the yeah you're like what like because

it's supposed to show like this was so abrupt and people were like living their normal lives and then they just fucking died in 9-11 isn't that but he doesn't die i don't think does he well we don't i mean he was he in the building he's in he's in his dad's office and he's looking out the window and then the movie fucking ends i guess that's kind of my god what i was saying yeah but i think but now we're trying to write this movie about the great depression and i was like can we just make the ending it's like it's all a big happy ending and then they all board the titanic and then the movie ends yeah they're like the whole movie they're trying to get rich are they and like it wasn't the great depression after the titanics the titanic was that that was

the hiccup yeah yeah the titanic was like 1919 yeah maybe you can make them time travel yeah well the whole thing was like gonna be like their their plan is to like they're trying to escape with this money they've gotten and so like that was gonna be like they fought like their escape like the whole he's like if we could just get the money and make it here the titanic leaves in like like the whole time they're they're talking it's like we just gotta get the money before the titanic leaves and we'll all be on the titanic and we'll be fine so they can like reference it throughout the movie yeah that's so funny but then are you not writing it anymore we haven't really worked on it but i'm glad you're i'm glad you're taking the right steps

to make it happen yeah i would love that movie period pieces are really hard to get green lit so we kind of put it on the back burner because it just requires a lot of it's very expensive it's like the set deck so then we're like maybe it's an animated show about the great depression i love it yeah all right teach me something brother man teach me something okay did you know billy jean blackwood it was a tall southern girl who speaks with a southern accent and she has the makings of did i know that no i did not know that what the fuck are you talking did you know there's a black girl that has a deep southern accent and she was tall.

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who is that what is that it's Billy uh Billy Jean Blackwood but who is it alright should we do this guy rocks

yeah man let's do it what the fuck was that alright this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey instead of this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard all right andrew pause this immediately and i mean immediately what the

fuck was that yeah what was that website you're on did you well did you know that mary jean blackwood was it paul southern bell okay pause this immediately and i mean zoom out zoom out man what the hell was that this is uh adam this is adam bolt dollar are you gonna give me a dollar yes this is adam bolt and he's a stand-up comedian it's the funniest act i've ever seen in my entire life but i read an article recently that someone stole a tractor they go like three miles an hour what was the escape plan like what was the conversation like boys you won't believe it but we're stealing a tractor that's not that very interesting and what are you going to do with the tractor

unless you're going to be a farmer it doesn't sound that farmers sound boring i feel bad that is insane but that's not very that but that's not wait but that's very not very interesting he's like what is what are you gonna be a farmer what's the what was the escape plan like what was that yeah what was the call like when they came up with that they were like we're gonna steal a tractor boys you're not gonna believe this but we're gonna steal a track i don't like him i don't understand who's like he had the crowd in the palm of his yeah they were fucking loving they're eating out of it i mean if you've ever been to an open mic this is how every set goes yeah so usually don't they just it's other people that just don't give

a fuck they don't laugh yeah um well i mean i think this is like funny for open mic standards to be honest really like it's the bar could i do an open mic 100 the bar is low i could do it i got this joke blowing my mind about mrs matt what is it i'm not done i'm not done writing it i'm not done writing it but it's about mrs matt what was the u.s such a good one the other day that cracks me up a joke yeah andrew i made my oh sorry andrew did you ever hear about my uncle that got hurt on a golf course no he fell off the ball washer i had i got a text with three laugh reactions in a group chat with all the sketch guys dang i felt like a fucking rock star dylan said i'm gonna see weapons in two hours

and i said wow record time it's a movie's two hours and eight minutes that's fucking fantastic my favorite golf joke is 18 holes a day and i still find time for golf nice i like that my brother always says all lip and no hole like my high school prom date when he lips out a putt oh it's kind of someone says that it's kind of gross sam someone says that he's got a job sam denellan said that that's disgusting the last time last time i went to an open mic were you doing it or you i was not doing it was a fantasy football punishment for my buddy do you have a video of it what do you have a video of it i do yeah i have his whole set he did like 10 minutes it was insane what the fuck how do they

let him do 10 minutes because he was the last one to go can you play a little bit of it yeah let's do it later okay yeah um yeah we can do it later um but i will say the the girl that went before him was laughing too hard at her own jokes that you couldn't hear the punchline dude we had a comedy show at our old office remember when liam used to do that yeah and this girl was a sweet woman but she it was like i brought my sister and my mom to see it and my mom had to my mom was like we have to leave this is too uncomfortable like she just was having an off night yeah and it was when someone is bombing and stand up it makes me want to i wish i had like a shell like a turtle so i could yeah or an armadillo yes or an armadillo thank you willie all right willie show me a guy

that rocks all right send it to andrew and brian is it gonna be good or is it gonna be bad i don't remember all right i got high hopes for this one yeah me too animatronic orca this is frank from shameless dude i'm animatronic interactive ai orca that i'm working on right now i've worked on it for about two and a half months i let it sit over the winter and now i'm working on it again and right now i'm working on the outside meaning the outside skin it needs a better layer a smoother layer it needs to look more like an orca once that is accomplished then i'll paint it so it looks like an orca but then i'm probably going to put graffiti on the side right now before i start working on the outside i'm putting in windows the reason why i'm doing

it now is that there is andrew just slowly moving over and liking the comment he's wearing a bag of dog food what about it makes it ai the orca the whole time i was watching this i was like he definitely fucks this orca that's definitely why he's making it there's definitely a hole in the back all right should we draft it up let's draft it up willie or andrew do you want to hear t-shirts you'd find on the boardwalk or commercials that don't exist for T-shirts. These are T-shirts you'd find on the boardwalk. He farted, and it's an arrow to the guy next to you.

I get the best head. Single issue voter, parentheses, bacon. I want that shirt. I want that shirt. um what happens in my butt stays in my butt he's paying and an arrow to the side this is so stupid spank me i'm irish in search of barbecue you're all like kind of cool like i would wear i would wear all of these um we'll flash for tequila we'll dance for bacon

i feel like you went more like the like millennial route and i was thinking like the when you walk past those stores on the venice boardwalk and it's like fuck me i'm portuguese mike's ass yeah there's literally a pair of shorts that say mike's ass damn uh literally anyone can get a slice or baby bird me a drink have you seen that shirt that says i'm not a gynecologist but i'll take a look yeah i don't like that one or the fbi female body yeah yeah all right tee it up william these are the hottest commercials of 2025 can you do that these are commercials that don't exist yeah that's so much better these are commercials that don't exist all right it starts with a guy and a girl and they're like hitting it off in the bar she's

like laughing at all his jokes she's touching his arm and then he gives her his phone number and leaves and then she gets a notification on her iphone it's a text from him but it's a green bubble and she just deletes his contact and then it says apple get an iphone i like that mike and i commercial where mike and ike are trying to get into a party and the guy says only one can come in and they're like no no it's a package deal bucko so then they leave together and they just go have a beer and mike and ike's because you won't let mike they're not going to separate right um are you do i'll ask you later are you having fun a huge family comes into a restaurant and they're so excited they're talking about how how hungry they are they sit down

they order a round of cokes for the table and the waitress goes is pepsi okay and they all scream no at her and leave the restaurant and they'll throw up anti the anti-vaping commercial where the kid hits the vape in a park and then all the squirrels in the park descend on him and eat him i love it dude because he vapes right right a guy and a girl are in a parked car like looking at this beautiful sunset he opens spotify and he puts on a song and then right as they're about to kiss an ad plays and she doesn't want to kiss anymore and it says get spotify premium i like that's actually that's a great one thank you apple fuck i'm sorry man i was so hungover when i was doing these this isn't even good the apple commercial where

I don't even want to say it. Apple commercial where he eats all the wires in a MacBook and becomes a human computer. Yeah, man, I love it. I think that would sell a lot of fucking laptops. I don't know, queer computers would be probably good for computers. you want to try another one that's all i got i only did three did you do three guys let's wrap up with rusty's songs of the day song um today's song

song today's song is you don't even have one do you i have one today's song is today's song is sunshine reggae by laid back if you are feeling the way will and i are feeling this morning this song will fucking revive you it is the greatest i think it's the greatest song ever made i'm not joking whoa it only i think the only lyric is sunshine reggae no they have some other ones sunshine sunshine by laid back they're like these two i think they're from like sunshine reggae i think they're from like germany or something but they it's fucking or norway it's good fucking vibes you should check it out and a reminder when we hit 10 000 followers on rusty songs of the fucking day two of you are getting 101 motherfucking dollars if you want to make some guap go follow

that motherfucking playlist and when you send me a screenshot you will get 101 dollars when we went Andrew shit I'm the producer I'm a little guy DJ Khaled shit We the best We love you guys so much Have a great rest of your Monday

Have a great rest of your Monday Have a great Tuesday And we will see you bright and motherfucking early For our Wednesday episode We love you guys so much Like, subscribe, rate us on spotify give us five stars on spotify i love you so much i'll see you guys on wednesday bye