Will & Rusty's Playdate - we found the most insane super bowl prop bets

Episode Date: February 3, 2025

The boys recap their trip to New Orleans, which involved a visit to the WWII museum and falling in a manhole. Will also gets flamed for his ghosting habit and Rusty admits to a strange message he accidentally sent. The gang also breaks down speakeasies, the pros and cons of drinking, and their favorite Super Bowl commercials throughout the years. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod WATCH RUSTY FLY A PLANE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRqdyzO9EIA SHOP OUR NEW SHIRT: https://almostfriday.shop/collections/playdate-pod/products/building-dept-longsleeve HEAD TO http://www.drinktriple.com/playdate TO GET 10% OFF THE ORIGINAL HIGH SELTZER USING CODE: PLAYDATE. 0% HANGOVER, 100% SOCIAL.  CONTROL BODY ODOR ANYWHERE WITH @SHOP.MANDO AND GET $5 OFF YOUR STARTER PACK (THAT’S OVER 40% OFF) WITH PROMO CODE PLAYDATE AT https://shopmando.com/ #MANDOPOD PICK UP SOUTHERN COMFORT WHISKEY FOR YOUR NEXT PREGAME OR WATCH PARTY. SOCO IS EASY GOING AND DOWNRIGHT DELICIOUS. https://www.southerncomfort.com/  F*%K YOUR KHAKIS AND GET THE PERFECT JEAN 15% OFF WITH THE CODE PLAYDATE15 AT www.theperfectjean.nyc/PLAYDATE15 #theperfectjeanpod 00:00 Intro 03:31 Accidental Sexting 06:29 The Hottest Pilot Ever 12:02 Oldest Bar in the World 19:28 Ghosts 24:17 Adderall 31:04 Rusty’s Killer Workout 34:08 Alcohol 43:14 Ghosting People 48:44 Roadmap 52:35 Pitch Submissions 01:00:37 Pitches 01:03:53 Prank Call 01:09:07 Teach Me Something  01:18:44 This Guy Rocks 01:28:26 Super Bowl Commercials that Don’t Exist 01:33:33 Prop Bets that Don’t Exist 01:36:06 Whose Personality are you Stealing? #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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As always, Playdate is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer. Redefining Le Potty Landscape. Playdate! Playdate! Why do directors always sit in those weird-ass chairs? I know the cameras can't see them, but you know what I'm talking about if you've seen a director sit. I think it's because it's easy to move from place to place, so the guy can just run with it wherever he goes. There are hundreds of chairs that are easy to move.

They're basically standing already, though. they're i feel like they're not fully like the way you're sitting it's like you're already high up direction you're not fully if i was ever a director i would insist on having this chair and there would be a production assistant like sprinting around with like a small sofa um i mean like churches have seats they need to be able to move quickly churches or like church basements you know like youth group like folding chairs yeah i think lauren made a good point though that is it's easy that's easy to pop up from and make direct make notes and then get back in i guess it's harder to get back in it's easier to write your name on the back

i'm not buying it it's a great question i don't know it's an outdated i think they did one guy did it and he was just really cool here's a follow-up question why does every director have to wear a baseball hat like if you notice like when guys start directing they wear a hat they're all all of a sudden wearing a hat i think that's a rule like when john chris have you ever seen him like direct the office it's like in between scenes he's wearing a hat he puts it on i'm pretty sure that's funny you just bring up the office i was just watching um compilations on youtube last night of moments they broke character oh my god you ever seen kevin those are my favorite what kevin jilley you ever seen kevin's jilley spilling the chili that show is just so heartwarming

i heard that scene wait moments they break character it's like yeah when um when dwight says something and like jim totally breaks character in that one when when uh i can't tell if you're joking when jim broke uh dwight's exercise have you not seen it yeah yeah and it wasn't supposed to pop like that yes what the office yeah i've seen the office oh you haven't seen the office i've seen the office oh i don't think he has why would i you can't i don't know the way you're saying it i was doing a different i don't know i've seen the office that's my favorite show ever apparently when you know the chile is creed remember all the questions i asked oh that's true oh yeah you remember the chili scene apparently oh yeah kevin g

apparently he was super nervous about that because you only really get like one shot at it yeah or else they would have to like rip up the whole thing and like it would take a whole day for them to reset yeah and so he was just like freaking the fuck out that he was gonna fuck it up i i feel like he goes on like more podcasts than anyone than anyone in the world and i've also never been more surprised that someone doesn't have that voice i was just convinced he was like genuinely yeah there was something yeah also like yeah how do you cast that guy we need a fat ugly guy to play disabled wait i've always wondered that about child act when there's like a fatso in an episode like what's the i mean probably just are blunt about

it like we need we need a fat kid yeah um yeah that's got it but like your parent is usually your manager at that age yeah and they're like well they're like well you are a porker you're yeah you're calling i want to get i want to get uh out ahead of something yeah speaking of before it what i want to get out ahead of a big story before it breaks i accidentally sexted mia what i accidentally sexted lauren's friend mia um oh yeah this was okay yeah what we i was sitting in bed and i posted a there was a story i posted a story of myself at my desk of a busty blonde there was a busty blonde in a painting behind me i didn't see her as busty it was just it's it's a i have a poster in my room of like an animated blonde woman with like a short animated like

it's a drawing it's not a real woman okay it's the broke never cheap poster that i have have you seen that look that up i need i just need a frame of reference we'll put a picture of it here uh it's that one but she's not black she's blonde oh there it is it's entry level yeah yeah it's this one but it's a poster so i have that on my wall she's not that bussy she's not that bussy i posted a story of me that poster was in the background lauren's friend mia swiped up on it let me read the exact conversation wait so this is what you mean by sex yeah it's not that crazy he called me he goes just text me on friday night or whenever this was just call me i just everyone just did mia just everyone just

it means by sex to me he means he you haven't even heard the story yet just let me tell you the story i thought that was the story no no no me and troy thought he sent a picture of like his dick lauren swipes oh my god i got one knee cut mia swipes up on the story and she says i like that print and i said it's from entry level which is a company that will and i like and then i followed it up by saying uh it kind of looks like you and then my girlfriend was sitting next to me and was like that's a weird thing to say to a girl and so i deleted it which made it way worse and tried to like cover my tracks and then deleted that and then mia just said i saw those deleted messages and i said i panicked she's blonde you're blonde goodbye and then uh i sent her a picture of

my girlfriend and i said proof my girlfriend watched me type that and said nothing until it was too late and then i called lauren and i was like freaking out before she had before we had kind of covered it up and i was like i'm so sorry i sexted mia and her and troy were like what this is terrible why are you keep saying sex i know he's making it worse had implying they're busty or something i don't know no i thought it was gonna be a lot worse and not that bad yeah okay i didn't think i wouldn't have thought i mean it's definitely a weird message to send really she never said anything to me i wouldn't have thought twice about saying that kind of looks like you she has short blonde hair mia has short blonde hair

yeah yeah and then when this episode comes out we're roommates roommates and they were roommates Will and I were flying back from New Orleans yesterday hottest pilot I have ever seen in my life she comes out and she's like

our age it would literally be like if a woman your age walked out and was flying the plane first instinct is like that person is too young to be flying this plane he tried to sext her no i didn't i yeah like air dropping into the cockpit um i'll show you a cockpit okay but so she comes out and my initial reaction was like it's an odd uniform for a flight attendant

why do you keep why do you incriminate yourself well that's not incriminating she was like 25 what was she wearing she was wearing a pilot's uniform and i my thought was so why is that weird no there's him going him going that's a weird outfit for a flight attendant oh she was like she totally sounds sexist and i told you that when i know if if i said the same thing if will walked if a guy will's age walked out and he was wearing the pilot's uniform i would go that's a weird outfit for flight attendant i'd go i'd go no you wouldn't no i'd go like that kid where'd that kid get a pilot uniform um and then that's different though and then we i sent a group i sent a text in the group chat like how pretty is the flight attendant and will said that she

was in front of him at starbucks and he in quote fell in love yeah i mean if that there's something like a like a woman in uniform that's like are you going name list uniforms that you find hot on women astronaut yep done leaves a lot up to the imagination game over yeah yeah uh it'd be funny if you could like like anything like blue collar hot mechanic oh yeah she's already oiled up oh uh that'd be funny for if the astronaut uniform was like form-fitting these things we are like regressing as a society we are regressing sorry if you're a new listener right now sorry if you're a hot astronaut we don't mean to objectify you you're doing great work but we want to know what's under there

what are you doing yeah do i have to cut all this is this bad you're just every sentence if this is someone's first impression of you they're not gonna like you oh really okay i'm not normally like this he's not normally like sometimes you see this beer probably my coffee mug it says beer probably it's like probably a stiff one yeah someone said we were soft for not liking the female body inspector oh maybe they're gonna like this then yeah that's true i thought the female body inspector monkey's hysterical you guys see my text this morning about we had a very pretty flight attendant oh she was a pilot even you said she was a pilot ah he got my head he's like a worm he's like a worm from uh he's like that thing in rogue one

that goes on your head and sucks all your memories out i just watched rogue one yesterday okay sorry what um no i don't really want to say what i was gonna say anymore please i obviously i'm so grateful for our playdate fans but i my follower population is like all guys now and no no it's not i want like a female audience as like a female and it's just maybe all guys maybe lean into it start posting like yeah stuff no i don't know anything about start posting bird put a make your bio like chili emoji chili emoji links here and then it's like to your book no it's like to your book club what if you did what what if you did a private instagram then you only accept girls girls only

i'm sure i feel like we're off to a weird start we are people have a lot of people found my linkedin linkedin i get like pitch submissions to my linkedin oh man uh fuck what else we went to new orleans yeah we just got back yesterday we yeah what no nothing why is that funny i was just thinking about the thing that happened on the sidewalk when i stepped in a hole yeah but the way you did we were walking and there was like an open manhole cover there were a lot of like tom and jerry or something like there are a lot of manhole covers on the sidewalks for some reason and one was missing and we're just a hole like a pothole there's just no no it was like a manhole yeah and then right next to it is a closed manhole cover like a city drain like a hole for a man

and we know what a manhole is now lauren's getting in on like the crass comments no not like not like a pothole not like a it's a it's a random hole to go into like the drain and will is walking and he's like hey everyone watch out for that one and then steps on one that's closed but that one wasn't screwed in and it like his foot went down into the drain but it was like it was like there was like a dummy one so that you would walk on the up there were like two side by side and one was a hole so i was like oh watch out for that one so i stepped on the other one and my right through it it was like when like in a cartoon when someone steps on a piece of plywood and it like swings up and hits them in the face and then literally like 30 steps later he's walking

and he stepped in like a pothole the deepest pothole of all time and just completely submerged his foot in water and the guy behind us goes oh will got bourboned we're on bourbon street i got fucking bourbon we went to the oldest bar in the world i've heard i've heard there's one in boston that says that well i think mcgillan's mcgillan's is the oldest bar in in the u.s i'm pretty sure in philly in philly all right look up wait okay well no okay that's the one we went to know look up oldest bar in the world without new orleans well it's definitely not the world do oldest bar in the u.s oh yeah you're right this guy the white horse tavern in newport rhode island looks like the yeah that adds up um so it's none of them but we so we walked in other old bars

click the down on there click show more click show more no you're just oh okay okay it's one of them we'll take it on there um so we go in i'm kind of do i'm like doing a lot of beer runs we're all at one table and so like when i get up when i get up to get a beer i'd get willa diet coke and uh get i was off that dc dude he was dc'd out of his gourd and uh i go up and i was like hey can i get two i was drinking yin ling may have one yin ling and i'll do two miller lights yin ling what did i say yin ling cool you just got fucking yin i got yeah i got linked um and so there are three picture three beers all in like those like clear plastic cups you picture it lauren and in my head i could do the move where you kind of hold them like this will open up open

up your eyes where i could hold them like this and like put enough pressure on the inside on the outside that they would all kind of like bind together and i could carry them what i didn't take into which works with glasses i can do it with glasses i didn't account for is that plastic cups flex and when you create that much potential energy the second you let go it just shoots all into the one cup that doesn't have pressure on it anymore so the bartender is watching me try and do this yeah and he has this like shit-eating grin on his face and so i was like i can't give up now he doesn't think i can do it so i have to do it now and i kind of lost grip of the front one and all the energy that i've been pushing in went into the front cup it slid across the bar

hit the lip and spilled into the drain with all of his pens and napkins and uh he just goes yeah saw that one coming from a mile away and then the guy at the other side of the bar because i just told the bartender where i was from he asked where we were in from the guy across the bar is like the oldest man alive he was there when it opened he was there when it opened and he just goes people from the west coast can't drink and the whole fucking bar erupted laughing and then and then the bartender was like just go bring those over i'll make you another one and i had to walk back into the like angry mob of people to get one more miller light that's showbiz i guess that is showbiz yeah it was it was viral what else new orleans was cool um

i liked all the architecture and i had a really good ham sandwich how about that ham sandwich oh that was the best sandwich i've ever had in my life ham cranberry chutney duke's mayo arugula bread oh my gosh it's like a herb mayo holy shit yeah it was the number one restaurant in america yeah wait what's it called the turkey and the wolf i want to look at a picture of this because i'm so hungry which i'll say the turkey was pretty good the wolf was a little gamey so i just recently got into ham like a few years yeah that first one is it look but click on the third one look what it says bon appetit number one best new restaurant america oh and that bread too yeah that wasn't the bread that we had though that wasn't the bread we had lauren don't think

about that one you will we were on the way there and will goes yeah you know this is the best restaurant in the world you're like all right like that i'm just gonna let him have this one because it it feels it feels like he really believes it no he don't what continue no no continue no no no no no you know you know you he he just was it was like a big claim to make we were like it feels like you're kind of setting us up for failure because there's no way is the best restaurant in america yeah in the world i think is what you said and we had it and it was like yeah it's a really good sandwich yeah it was a really good one of the best sandwiches i've ever had actually that's kind of a stretch this there's this place called cheesies and i don't think it's

even open anymore in evanston illinois like 10 minutes from evanston that's where northwestern is yep that is right and they they did like it's yeah it's so i've been there i've been there lauren they did these like mac and cheese sandwiches and you can't fart in the middle of the podcast i did play the clip back here look how gorgeous i did part of the plane yesterday and i felt awful just look how yummy this grilled cheese looks wow and they had like all different kind oh my gosh and the sauce was so good um if you're from chicago and you know what i'm talking about i don't think that drop a hell yeah in the comment if you're from chicago wait all my chicago people stand up you don't think this looks good say let's go go to the

bean i don't think that holds a candle at the bean in portland maine there's a restaurant called cheese louise oh grilled cheese themed and apparently it turns into a bar at night we were walking walking uh past it and my friend works there i guess and he was like yeah pop into cheese louise later if you guys want it was like midnight yeah and i didn't know it was a bar and i was like I don't think I'm going to be hungry for a grilled cheese later. Dude, there's a bar in Boston that's a cheese grilled cheese place. And it's like one of those speakeasy things in the back where you go through the freezer in the kitchen.

And then it's all old games and stuff. But the best part is if you go to one of the bars in the speakeasy part, it's not a joke. You think I'm a joke to you? Am I some kind of clown? I'm smiling. I'm happy about your story. I'm happy too.

I'm excited. I even got a good part. um you go to the bar in the back and the tvs are just connected to like xboxes so you can get a drink and then you'd be like oh can we get the controllers for that tv so it's like one of the tvs at the bar and you can just play mad oh that's great yeah or you can play fortnite and get the whole bar like not gonna lie i i was i was really excited about that story and then you said xbox and i like kind of stopped caring not not because i because you hate gamers no i just gamers drop a big l in the chat if lauren just totally razzed you no i just it does that doesn't try to drive

engagement everything has to lead to wait what it's like just like hell yeah l bean meat up um dude there was a what i think is so funny about speakeasies is like the first time you go like obviously you struggle to get in to like figure out how to get in but like once you figured it out you think like anyone who can't figure it out it's a dumbass i do yeah we there's one in portland where there's a double there's like a two-way mirror so once you're in you can watch people struggle oh that's fun to get in and there's a booth like right there yeah and so like the first time you're going you're like pulling on like different like it looks like a locker rooms you're like pulling on like towels and like if that's not working you just hear on the other

side of the two-way glass being like what fucking what kind of moron doesn't know how to get in here come on come on that's very funny i like that setup um what else are we doing oh we ghost we talked to ghosts oh yeah we channeled ghosts how did that predict the super bowl it went really well i can't i can't tell you yet because our video comes out next wednesday yeah if you want a super bowl lock so you can go watch it but um i thought i don't believe in ghosts he believes in ghosts that one you clowned me all weekend for not believing in ghosts i will say it's been the one we went to that was the first time i was like this doesn't feel real but the real scare this place wasn't the scariest place in the world so it was like harder to get in that zone

but you're when you're in like an abandoned place and you're with people who like have the technology and stuff it's easier to believe this one was like willie was just like laughing the whole time so it was like i didn't i had a hard time getting in the mindset it was ridiculous ghosts are not real does it make sense to say that i believe in spirits but not ghosts because i feel like ghosts are only like a negative con a negative no no these are good ghosts they gave us the super bowl prediction i don't think ghosts are just evil to me no what casper it's literally in his name he's a friendly ghost casper the friending ghost friending the friends frenzing he frenzies you casper

casper the frenzy ghost he runs in a room he's like frenzied ghost um yeah what else i'm trying to think we had some other cool stuff we had some really viral moments oh when strutter and i got in the uber from the airport our driver was like was like yeah man i know i know all the ghosts in this town he's like i know this place like back back in front we're like all right cool he kept like going off the course to like show us different parts of the city but like we kind of want to just like get to the hotel and check in he took us to nick cage's future uh gravesite gravesite which is a pyramid in like the sketchiest graveyard of all time did we fact check that either why would he want i mean why

would he lie to me he wants a tip yeah i mean he added like 20 minutes to our drive so if you wanted if you wanted to tip do you guys tip postmates drivers every time yeah i knew you didn't whoa why because i could tell that like an anti-semitic thing are you jewish no you know i'm not jewish how would it be anti-semitic then i was just asking he was just trying to say something funny um i know i i do i don't tip like a lot i also don't uber eat something i like rarely do so i don't know i my taxi driver every day i take taxis from the airport because it's easier and they ask for a tip after but like isn't yeah i feel like that's the isn't the fair the whole thing because they have to pay their they rent like they have to pay for to get the cars from

a taxi company you should absolutely tip i tipped yes like yesterday but 90 of the time i'm in a taxi you're not getting taking a taxi maybe you will in the future now that i know but because they have to pay out like they're they pay probably more than like or just the same as like ubers have to pay to the company ubers have to pay to the company yeah like a cut of they don't get the whole fare no i know but like they don't uber just takes that yeah well taxis they get the money up front but then they have to pay it out yeah our uber driver the same guy was like yeah man you want to get around this city for cheap just pay people cash to drive you around we were like that's the worst advice anyone's ever given yeah he wanted you to get like attacked or

something remold remold a mall or mauled why don't you get it tacked or mauled uh i had a roommate in college named amal how'd that go it was great he's the man but it was always funny like where was he from there's a lot of songs that uh he was from like just north of boston uh uh but they there's a bunch of songs that say i'm all like there's like zach bryan's like heading south would be like i'm out to make a name in a fool out of a mall and there's some other song that would it was just a it's a funny name because it comes up in songs that's like our our friend uh luke boyd has ruined the song blue boy for me because it sounds like he's going luke boyd what what's up with him he was here all night he was here until like 8 30 a.m yeah why adderall but

like he was he was fixing up the plane episode which came out today got it it needed that much work i think he got a little carried away but yeah i mean he needed like some touch-ups and i think you get in the zone we've all been there probably making like the tiniest like point one we've all yeah we've all been in the adderall zone um yeah we should take a ton of adderall before in our next episode and see what happens should we i haven't done adderall since college and i do not miss it i miss it so much dude i used to just make the most lunch plans it was awesome the most lunch plan just like texting people dude 100 i would take yeah adderall to like study for my final or whatever and then i would just sit there and just text everyone that

i love and make like plans and then i would wake up the next day like kind of having studied not having finished my paper or whatever and then i'd be like you got a chock full day oh great i'm fucking booked out for the next two weeks so funny that's like uh when the night starts like dwindling down and everyone's hammered and it's like dude let's play golf in the morning and everyone's like yeah it sounds like an awesome idea then you wake up at noon you're like we are not golfing this podcast is brought to you by triple triple's the original high seltzer with Three milligrams of THC and just 15 to 20 calories. Triple offers a social buzz similar to that of your favorite hard seltzer.

Light on calories, high on life. It's all natural, gluten-free, and again, just 15 to 20 calories. I got tripled out of my mind before a flight the other day, and I think I've discovered the new best way to fly. When we were going to New Orleans, I had a triple, and then I had another half. I would have had two, but I had to rush out the door. And it made traveling the most fun. You should do it.

It made traveling the most fun I've ever had in my entire life. everyone was like that guy you're still able to steer and everything and land safely well we know you're not supposed to do do not not do anything other than to hang out you're gonna have a triple the only thing you should be doing is kicking it don't do anything else guys triple is born from a desire to blend thc's social buzz with the social ritual of sipping on a seltzer triple is currently available at grocery stores liquor stores bars and restaurants in missouri kansas iowa louisiana georgia and florida will be available in illinois south carolina arizona and ohio by the end of the year looking at you naperville and like it on nationally is currently available online to get

it now go to drink triple.com and use code playdate to get 10 off your order that's drink t-r-i-p-l-e.com and use code playdate for 10 off your order triple redefining their party landscape let's go back in the episode what's your favorite part about drinking oh man one time wait i'm thinking about adderall again because there was one time during my uh my noah khan fling i just was like texting him non-stop about like a song i was writing like sending him videos of a song that i was writing was he responding yeah did he like it yeah he said he did but i remember that was like do you think he would remember you yeah 100 i mean we'd like hung out like no i mean he follows me on instagram oh he still does nice

i mean but uh are him and zach bryan friends yeah they did a song together yeah yep what do you think zach's podcast is gonna be about is he actually making one i guess so um i don't know well he i he put out a new song called blue jean baby and i had a song called blue jean baby oh well no i'm not i can't claim obviously you know there's like tiny dancer blue jean baby yeah it's not exactly an original idea but we used to in my comedy group in college we used to go on retreat and on retreat we would have blue jean saturdays and i innovated blue jean saturdays by making a song and it went a blue jean baby a blue jean baby a blue jean saturday hey hey a blue jean baby it's very fun nice i love it and then he

puts out a song called blue jean baby and i'm like zach bryan wants this smoke dude he's coming after my songs my he wants to do a podcast he he made rice peel off three oh god the most that's probably next honestly i think i live in my defense i live rent free in his head yep but i want to fucking i want to i want to crack at that guy's ass oh i'm gonna chip off his block i want him to come on this podcast and make out with me oh we made out for speaking of yeah i just watched um rusty's flying a plane how cool episode go watch that if you haven't and i loved it it was amazing but i kind of wanted more out of your guys's sex scene at the end there was a lot more did they cut most of it yeah that makes it worse they didn't even show you guys on the bed i lay

you down the video ends great so we did the part where you humped my limp body it didn't make it i didn't have your limp you were thrusting back i once he told me i was too stiff there was some there was some pushback um yeah we the whole last part was for nothing it was just for my own personal collection but i have those videos forever now well you know what they say a video is worth a thousand pictures um okay you know what we need to do now so we don't forget episode 76 episode we've been forgetting oh i i know a guy too jordan mailata oh i actually think i know who that is no idea fuck i'm close uh there's a hockey player that is 76 no oh yeah um chara there's 33 close uh six is freaking um meryl streep next year eric fisher

oh what about there's a 72 there's a guy joke oh wait he's 76 yeah and i said eric fisher they were picked number one and number two in the same draft i could have said joke fuck jockel jockel i don't know who's the number two pick are you gonna say i don't even know cooper bulls coming up your socks what's the coop oh yeah i know they match the the date i went over to my lady's house in birkenstocks yesterday and forgot to pack socks so i'm wearing her socks wow it feels like she didn't have any socks that were less in your face all of her all of her she doesn't have any like mid calves and so all of her socks it was like either this or like white ones that stop here yeah i like what do they say this one says fucker

and the the right one says mother oh that's cute no i like them so if they're next to each other it says motherfucker mother oh you just have your legs crossed which speaking of i am my i am still i was like faking doing the workout will and i yeah this is when i hired this personal trainer for a video and before the mind you before the episode lauren asked if someone goes sit in her chair just so she could make sure the camera was set up right and he said i can't get up from the chair it hurts too much dude it does getting my legs like this was because you did like four squats dude play the clip back watch when i put my legs like this i audibly said ow this gets the tea flowing this really does get your energy i mean can you show me a squat right

now i literally couldn't do it dude i tried to so you know i washed my have i told you how i wash myself in the shower no once i do all the top part i put the handle on the ground i squat over it to get all of my nooks and crannies and i literally couldn't do that when i showered yesterday so i uh so i had to do it so you got stink ass no i had to do it the old fashion way i mean we we had a workout that lasted 20 minutes where we did some squats and lunges and he didn't even do them he was like cheating when the instructor looked away he would stop no i wouldn't stop i would just do him fake yeah uh and now he can't stand or get up or dude were you using too much weight no i was using they were he had five pounders i think there

were three or fives they were like the little like rubber ones that they like hook on the back of a peloton like a little like rubber things yeah dude i'm sorry i don't sorry i'm not doing this is probably the first squat i've ever done in my entire life no no no i'm not i'm not like you're squat shaming him no no no i'm not making fun i was just like that's on the trainer for not helping you with your form that's like the most important she was trying to call it out but i just was i was it was all in the knees for him he wasn't he wasn't pushing he wasn't going back at all yeah but you know it was getting up the hill there was a girl doing like you know people run up and down that hill she was doing that and she did she lapped me like seven times so i was walking

like on the way up from the parking lot to our office she was running up and down it and she lapped me like a hundred times people do that yeah could be the move running up and downhill could be the move what else but how was your week lauren what'd you do when we were gone did you do something insane while we were gone what did i do oh yeah she was doing that thing that would make like a great story for a podcast yeah what was that thing no i'm never telling a story again oh the funniest you got one bad comment it's the funniest comment i've ever read my entire life i haven't read it but lauren read it to me it was all fine yeah someone said that they lauren needs to play the theme song music like we do before ads before one of her

stories so they know when to skip honestly what was the story if you let the hate if you let one comment get to you you're doing yourself no i'm not serious i don't actually care i just i'm like damn i do want to get better at storytelling because sometimes i just get nervous when i start talking too long and then i like black out and i'm like i don't even fucking care about this anymore you know well i'm sorry wait what i was completely that should never be yeah that should never be a feeling you feel when you're telling a story you shouldn't black out you should be very aware of what you're talking there was blacked out lauren when's the last time you blacked out last night probably um like from drinking yeah i don't remember which is actually

good no no like i don't remember the last time i was just listening to a podcast on uh this podcast i really like it's called the psychology of your 20s and i was just listening to one called the psychology of alcohol and she was just kind of talking all about like what blacking out is in your brain and like i've heard it before and i understand what it is what is it um it's basically like your brain what is it called uh the frontal lobe no it's that that's the little guy hippocamp hippocampus go yes okay so basically the hippo hippocampus gets it's like so much alcohol in your body it's i don't know it starts to affect that and then that's why you can't remember things and then it just i don't know that's crazy because well i i'd very much applaud you for

doing for not drinking i think i don't really turn the corner into february too it feels that way yeah i'm not starting i feel so good that's great i don't mean i don't want to be one of those guys though i feel like sometimes sober people are insufferable but i don't think so you are not being that i feel like i'm trying not to make it anyone else no you you aren't but no you're not yeah he yeah he does tell you how great he feels all the time well you asked me i know he said how do you feel i said the number one thing for me is like self-confidence i feel confident in myself and my that's great do you feel more fit yeah absolutely but that's also because i've been running i'm running four or five days a week now i did like yeah i did like

a five mile run on friday which is like the longest i've gone for a while and i was flying what do you think about when you're running listen to music um what do you listen to when you run you know what i've been i had this killer run last on friday uh well hey follow me on strava i got some playmates have started to trickle in i've got like 10 followers now uh i was i've been listen to old chance the rapper and it's great because you need something a little upbeat but like i don't like to listen to songs i don't know on a run i think i'm gonna get on strava and just start documenting like like my walk from the parking lot to here see if i can beat my personal best that'd be i saw a guy do like a couch to the fridge because you can create like

segments that like that people could like if i went to your house i could try to beat your time oh that's so funny i love that all right follow me on i'm gonna get on strava uh follow me at at rusty featherstone if they if that username is um back to what you're what you're just talking about alcohol for a second even i'm happy that i don't have like the same appeal to it as i used to like last night i was right i got i left work like kind of late and i was like i at whole foods grabbing a few groceries i'm like you know what i'm gonna buy a bottle of wine like treat myself like have a glass and then i get home and i pour myself a glass of wine and i'm like i don't even really want this like it just doesn't i feel like i used to look forward so much to like having a

glass of wine or just i don't know not not to like judge people that do i just it's interesting no i'm not at all just for me personally i'm like i was playing i just poured myself a ice cold glass playmates everywhere no no no i just like for me i'm like yeah i totally yeah i mean sometimes i'll come home and i'm really hungry and then i'll have one beer and i go feel a little bit better and then i have two beers and i'm like i don't know i could not want to have dinner less which that feels healthy right so that's another yeah so there's two flip sides of the same double-edged sword it's two sides of a quesadilla man i also like think i like beer more than wine like wine kind of yeah wine's cheap i'm just like a chick the guy next

me on that airplane back here yesterday was like oh he was lying to the flight attendant about how much wine he had he was just housing these like 12 ounce cans of wine and then the guy would come back he like ordered another one he was like how many have you had and he's like two guys like okay i was he'd had like four i was telling will because i i didn't know this was a rule apparently there is like they're not supposed to give you more than like two or three yeah i don't know if there's like a set rule they're just supposed to be like there have been there have been flights where the flight attendant has given me like nine things of whiskey and then there are there have obviously been times where like they they just avoid me but they've never been like you're done

you're done yeah but there have been a couple times where i've tried to flag one down they just go right past me i uh i farted out loud on the plane yesterday how'd that go on on it went bad did anyone hear it uh i don't know because i had my headphones in i was watching rogue one kind of vomits in his barf bag yeah and but i thought it was going to be silent and i just had to get it out and then it was not okay so how do you know that it made noise you know what you know when it's loud you know when it makes noise yeah you sometimes you can feel like it's almost like your butthole just opens up and lets it out and then closes but if there's any resistance then it's making noise like this this would be an example one that makes noises

what did you hear that line yeah asked for an example from the tape she said give me an example she said give me an example didn't she said give me an example i'm gonna stop doing the podcast i got a new uh i have a new i have a new delta goal i was sitting next to a guy yesterday great a new thing to be insufferable about flight attendant flight attendant came up to him and uh they were chopping it up and i had my headphones on i was like what could they possibly be talking about for this long i took it off he was a million miler and uh and the flight attendant was like yeah you know he was connecting to go to san francisco he's like just hang back he's like i'll get you to your next flight like he's gonna they were both going the flight attendant was

gonna be his flight attendant on the next flight too and so i'm assuming maybe they took him in the car or something that's interesting but i think if you hit million miler like i don't think he has to fly to keep status i think he just he just is that for life i saw there's like a you know medium build yeah he's a singer songwriter yeah he's got some song right now that keeps like snippets that keep coming on my page and some of the songs are really beautiful but this one lyric just cracks me up it's like if getting fucked up was an airline i'd be a double million miler or something it's just i don't know i don't it's so that's why i like songwriting so interesting because like sometimes it's like that sounds like nonsense but then sometimes nonsense things sound

really cool oh yeah yeah some of my favorite songs i don't know the lyrics i just know what the word sounds like yeah you know like you've ever listened to an elliot smith song like oh this is beautiful but i don't totally understand what he's saying but yeah like i was listening to son of sam when you and i were going to the airport yesterday i was reading the lyrics on spotify as he was singing i was like oh that's what he said you just found out about son of sam i thought i thought it was just a fun song he wrote apparently it's apparently it's about like a murderer yeah a serial killer yeah we were in the room uh in one of the like haunted rooms wherever it happened and the lady who owns the place was like all right i want everyone to look

around and just you know pick it there are a lot of objects in this room like you know see what like really calls to you and so i'm looking around she's like you know rusty what calls you i was like well that pistol is kind of speaking to me like in like like a spirit like it was all like haunted shit and it's like what's like beckoning you and she's like strider what's calling you he's like that axe is kind of talking to me on the wall and then it gets to will and she's like will what what's calling you and he's like i don't really know she's like what is it he's like it's that little black baby in the corner and there's like this like black baby doll in the corner and then she gave him a chance to like redeem himself and she's like what else is calling

to you and there was another black baby above and he's like that that baby up there is calling to me as well and we're like dude just lie just say the knife but dude so this god forbid some black babies call me all right oh my god i fucking whatever dude i'm a guy you're into black babies man that's whatever paul ao pause um the house we were in lauren this guy lived there with his girlfriend and after katrina they got in a fight and i guess he like strangled her to death on accident and didn't know what to do so he like went to work and he came home and was like all right i need to get rid of the body chopped her up in the bathtub and then cooked her in the oven to get rid of the evidence for like 13 days and the oven's still there they rented the house out

after and the landlord kept the oven and people use the oven i almost don't believe that why would she lie to us because she sells that's insane i feel like that's like a piece of evidence that you can't even keep in a home yeah oh the playmate came up to us at lunch and then she dm me that she does ghost tours in new orleans she like runs them yeah which maybe she made up retroactively She didn't mention it at the time. Interesting. I ghosted a tour. Do you ever ghost someone, Will?

Yeah. How'd that go? Feels shitty. Tell me about it. What do you mean? What happened? I want to know, too. Just stop responding.

Well, give us the lay of the land. Which time? You've done it multiple times. Yeah. Why do you ghost people? I get nervous. Why don't you just say, I don't want to talk anymore? because some i don't know sometimes it's just like not if it's like a serious thing all right

we're gonna give this person i think that's totally i learn plays i don't think it's good but i think it's pretty normal like if it's been like a once or one time thing or something yeah i feel like that's okay the conversation is kind of dwindling and then you just don't respond let's role play it learns the girl your will lauren text will hey what are you doing on friday do you see how shitty that feels there's this really cool comedy show on saturday do you want to go okay um maybe we can do something next week are you free at all wednesday or thursday i wouldn't triple text but do you see how that makes her feel i told you i'm not proud you just you just straight up won't respond to a like request for a plan like no no no it's not usually

well i don't know so all right lauren now i don't know what we're talking about i was just making a joke lauren now let's role play i'm gonna well i'm gonna show you how to how to healthfully end a conversation i don't need your advice hey i hope you've had a good week uh was wondering if you were around on friday hey lauren uh i actually am around on friday but i hate being around you so much that i don't want to see you anymore no what would you hope that helps what would you actually say i would say well why am i ghosting them that's let's get to the bonus you lost interest i lost interest uh okay you hung out one time hit me hey i had a lot of fun on saturday what are you doing next weekend yeah that was super fun uh i hope you're doing well by the way

hope you're having a great week but um i think you know transparency is the best policy and i uh right now i'm just not really looking for anything serious so i think you know maybe if we're both in a in the right headspace down the road i'd love to get back together this would be an insane text to get you you would go on for that long say oh fuck okay you want to be serious yeah say it hit me lauren hey i had so much fun at the farmer's market do you want to go that's like a more intimate hey i had so much fun at church with you oh my god my mom loved you what Do you want to hang out next weekend? Alright, ready? This is what I would do.

Oh my god, Will, dude. The bustiest chick just hit me up, but I don't want to see her anymore. Hey, this is Rusty's mom. He died. Please don't text this number anymore. Oh my god. Damn. No, I would

just say, like, I'm not looking. Hey, don't want to lead you on. I am kind of in a weird spot right now, and I'm not looking for anything serious blame it on the mental health yeah but but you know that things can always change i'd maybe love to see you down the road that's probably what i would say because i don't hate women and i don't play with their emotions like you yeah probably right all right lauren let's do you now okay hey lauren had so much fun uh the other night

uh future birds is in town would love to you know i have two tickets if you'd love to join um so okay and you don't want to see me anymore um hey oh that sounds super fun i don't think i can but or no no i'd say hey that sounds super fun i don't think i'm around that night but maybe we can do something in the future like okay personally i'm so bad at competition next week i would go oh crazy uh tame and paul is in town i have two tickets again you want to join i would pretend i fucking love tame impala okay uh i would go i would go you'd uh still woozies in town lauren would get lauren get naked for a tennis bracelet i ain't gotta get naked for no tennis bracelet what is that but i need 20 bands for a fucking

anklet what is that dude the one of the maintenance guys was out there doing work on the wires or whatever they're fucking doing i was sitting and i was sitting next to the i was sitting next to like the fireball stockings he was like all right those booze filled stockings i was like yeah and he kind of just stood there and i was like do you want one he was like yes i gave it to him he ran out put it in his car and then came back and kept doing work oh that's amazing i'm glad it's been put to use and now he's like out the wires and we walk out they're like chug chug chug um all right should we get into the rm yeah i'm glad we did yeah i'm glad we got to the bottom of that listen i i'm trying to be better

about it and i don't think it was as if i went if i took her to church and she met my mom that'd be a different that'd be your wife do we want to start with the permitting division of the building department and then do the segments uh no let's ease into it okay do it or you got to do it yeah okay good all right we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're going to hear some of your pitches followed by will and i's pitches yep and then we were going to do uh everyone's favorite segment the permitting division of the building department where will and i where will listens to music sorry i don't know why they just started playing right the permitting division of the building department the permitting division of the building department the permitting

department where we call people tell them their fences are much too high Gotta cut the boat up because I'm late. Too high. Total division. Everyone comment Goat It if you love that song. And then we are going to do everyone's favorite segment, Teach Me Something, followed by This Guy Rocks, This Guy Rocks, This Guy Rocks Today.

And then Will and I are going to do Super Bowl commercials that don't exist and prop bets we wish were available in the Super Bowl. Or something. Yep. This episode is brought to you by Mando. You've got a new, beautiful, stunning, lovely girlfriend. Sure. What do you do to get ready when you're going out on a date

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drink it and whoever you drink it with we think soco can go with everything but you be the judge find your comfort zone and try out a cocktail today willy what cocktail do you like with soco i like a little soco diet coke i'm a s-u-l-t for diet coke and missing mixing in some cocoa SoCo. Some Coco. Not Coco. You can try that. Let us know how that is.

I'm in love with the SoCo. That's what I always say. I put in my Diet Coke. I go, sipping on a SoCo like usual. Seriously, Southern Comfort's awesome, and I love it. And guess where it's from? New Orleans. We were just there.

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okay here's my business bitch a rent a baby center like rent a car but for babies has this ever happened to you you've had a long day at work bosses on your ass for that typo on the quarterly report and you just can't seem to win the only thing that will soothe your weary soul is the sweet scents and sounds of a fresh baby in your arms the sweet scents and sounds yeah what their babies are so cute uh mind you you don't want to keep this baby in fact the second it cries or shits you're ready to give it right back you don't need that added responsibility that is where rent a baby comes in it is a calming center filled with blushing babes that you can play with and holding snuggle for a set amount of time before returning them to

their parents to deal with the messy stuff center could also double as a daycare so you've got money coming in from the parents of the babies and those poor saps who need some cuddles. Think about it. I like it. I mean, it feels like a gold mine. I'm curious. Yeah, you have the income from the parents paying to leave them there and then you don't even have to tell the parents you're renting out their babies

during the day. So it's like a normal daycare and then you're making all that money from people. Yeah. That's genius. I love it. Imagine we had a few babies on this pod right now. Oh, the baby. Milky. Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

rusty need milky oh oh i hate myself you're on one today i'm on one today i'm sorry dude needs milky needs milky bad oh i'm sorry to anyone listening that's i love it i'm gonna rent your baby all right i'm gonna rent you baby that's what i would say right before i read it you guys are both saying crazy that's a good Pick up line at the bar. Hey, yo, ma, I'm going to rent you, baby. I'm talking about at the baby place. I would say, I'm going to rent you, baby.

Would that line work on you at the bar line? No, I would be like... What's up, shawty? I'm going to rent you tonight. Say, you month to month or you a 12-month lease? What's the APR on that ass? What is APR? Annual percentage.

Puerto Rico. Hey, yo, ma, what's that? Hey, yo, ma. What kind of credit score do I need to get in that ass? Annual percentage raise. Did you Google that? No, I'm just smart. Wow.

All right, let's hear another pitch. And good at bowling. And good at bowling. That's true. We should plan another. Did you do that again? Bowling. Maybe next.

Next. I can't. This weekend or next weekend. Why not this weekend? Okay. My mom and dad are here. They could bowl with us. You do not want to see my dad bowl.

Is he good? yeah he got a six-pack one done i don't know six straight strikes jesus that's pretty sick all right well let's at some point all right thank you the real ryans and dag i think that's great wow great what kind of baby would you guys want strong massage a little black one i was gonna say chinese yeah little asian babies are so cute or or like a like a little ginger baby with really red hair or like a one have you seen those like huge babies that the nfl teams comment on on tiktok no google huge lions baby 32 pound infant oh yeah yeah yeah the detroit lions called dibs yeah good lord oh my god she just posted a video

with her baby and it was huge and the lion the top comment was the detroit lions has come dibs Oh, I saw that. And then I've seen other people post their huge-ass babies and tag NFL teams. Huge-ass babies. That's a big-ass baby. Big-ass baby. Look at his little rolls.

He has big hands, too. Paws. Pogs. Anyway, thank you. The next, next, next pitch. This is from Sam Spots. Sam Spots says, What is up, Lauren and the Playboys?

do you ever want to get into reading but think to yourself wow reading is boring yep yeah well let me introduce my new advanced ai software technology invention contraption to give background music to whatever book you were reading but what about your reading pace won't it be different for everyone that is where the ai comes in the ai tracks your eyes to see where you are exactly in the book and it adapts the background music to your personal reading pace to make the reading experience better than ever now you will never be able to put down a i love this i like it a lot um one thing i've noticed since i got into reading is i will be like halfway through a passage how much have you read of the book i'm currently reading like seven

chapters all right um i'm just going to pace the book club man yeah which is a chapter two chapters two chapters a week yeah don't kill the messenger kill the book club i mean it's more than me so i can't and uh and i'll be thinking about how cool it would be if someone walked in on me reading and then i'll forget what i'm actually reading about because all i'm thinking about is how i look reading like i mostly am only reading because i think it's cool that i read i don't really care interesting so are you not interested in your book no i'm very interested in the book but i have to reread it because half the time i think it'd be awesome if someone walked in so i'm reading yeah jack you should get good reads what's that it is an app where you can

log what you're reading you can it's like letterboxd yeah review books you've read put things you want to read it honestly is a great incentive for me to just like finish my book and like stay up stay on track with how my other friends are doing oh cool um we can be friends on it yeah um yes you're getting strava and good reads yeah and not really doing either of the things um all right what is the worst part about eating wait we barely talked about his pitch oh sorry would you guys want that like can you read with if there's yeah i love i love to have music but i find it hard if the lyrics distract from the words yeah i agree it would have to like it would have to be like beats yeah oh my god when we were when we were doing our yoga session uh

that was all the time the music was like copyrighted and so the sound guy like called stop uh for for the ghost hunting video we were doing a yoga session to clear our minds before we talked to the ghost so we're in this haunted house doing yoga with a yoga instructor from craigslist and yeah the sound guy was like well you know the sound guy was like we should probably do some we should probably film this without the music playing that they usually play like for a yoga session because it could be copyrighted blah blah so we turned the music off and then the other lady that we we'd hired a personal trainer for later in the video and she was also like random from craigslist they're both kind of characters the personal trainer was like oh my friend has

this band it's like this really like good like ethereal music that would be good for yoga like i could play that and then it wouldn't be like a copyright issue and we're like oh perfect and she puts on it felt like we were getting pranked because we're all standing there like in downward dog with our eyes closed and she puts on the worst song any of us ever heard it was like this it was like the worst version of like suicide boys so it was not ethereal at all it was like hard rap it With, like, drill, like, beats. It was crazy. It was ridiculous.

Was someone in on this? No. It was two random people from Craigslist just, like, interacting. And the sound guy had to, like, kick her out. It was the funniest thing I've ever heard. Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah, it was all fun. So that's going to be in the video, though.

Yeah, it was, like, steps from the oven where that lady got cooked, too. Oh. What is the worst part about, like, eating in bed, doing things in bed? Other than sleeping. You roll over on it. It's like hard to balance everything, right? So it's like, if you have like your plates over, like there's like a bunch of dishes and stuff in the bed

and it's like, this is a nightmare. What happens if I want to like put down the burrito? Yeah. My invention is called free hands. They come out of the ceiling and you can like, just like hold the plate out. It'll grab it. And you can have all your things in front of you.

You could do it for like, if you're working in bed, you'd like put like your laptop in one of the hands, like maybe a book in the other. Have you ever seen those things that are just like? Yeah, but this is like, like different. because you know i'm talking about like a little wood thing over yeah well i don't want to have breakfast in bed i want to be i want to be mobile and okay when i want to like put the burrito down to eat my chips i want to be able to like move around so i just like hold it out the hand grabs

it hold it there maybe like handed my phone it can like hold tiktoks up wow i like this free hands how many are there as many as you want wow it's like a wallace and gromit ass yeah contraption never saw it you've never you would love it you would love it that's like so up his ass i started it when i was a kid and it made me sad and i turned it off it does it does have some weird like underlying i understand that you depressed the first like five seconds which one whatever one i had on vhs was like get it out you should watch it now i think you'd like it a lot it does have a strange undertone well there's like a darkness to all yeah but that's part of what makes it good pitch me willie all right what's the worst part about a smoothie chunks it's over

at the end you want more no i it's too smooth it's like a liquid or something what you want more like so those are that's a bad smoothie then you want more like chunks this is the thicky it is dense it is just like fruit and paste and it is like you eat it with a spoon out of a bowl i'll say evil but it's thick way thicker than that um how do you drink it you don't you eat it out of a spoon this is literally a smoothie bowl it's a smoothie bowl but it's way thicker than that oh it's like cut it with the side of the spoon it's like yeah yeah you yeah it's like sorbet almost you couldn't sip it it's thicker whatever you're picturing thicker i'm picturing something pretty thick right now not thick enough 10 times thicker than whatever you're picturing

put a picture of the thickest woman alive whoa put a picture of the thickest man alive put a picture of the thickest smoothie alive hey that is the speaking sort of speaking of um speaking of thick man no guys i don't know if you were kidding or not but people liked my yogurt question one of the comments was like i hope they i hope they talk about the biggest thing of yogurt ever today yeah that was one of the that's still one of the craziest things i've ever been asked i like that question i liked your line of thinking lauren do you have a pitch today no can i go to the bathroom okay yeah okay well and rest here in the bathroom i'm gonna pull a and say that chobani reached out and they want to send me a really big yogurt

all right i'm kind of nervous but we got to do our prank oh yeah which one are we doing line wasn't there one that was like literally oh it was the kid who was saying his mom doesn't know if her fence is technically a fence or a gate and she's like worried that the city is like oh oh do we not yeah what i didn't read it did we not have one picked no we had lauren sent one that i like thought was perfect the kid was like my mom is terrified that her gate is technically a fence or her fence is technically a gate perfect she doesn't know which one it is and she's worried the city is gonna like crack down do you want me to read the dm yeah please i can also put a photo of it on the screen but all right this is eric he says in front of my house we have a small structure

that is in between a fence and a gate and we always argue about what it actually is call my mom and get her to clarify what the structure is and then tell her that those are actually not allowed and it needs to be reclassified to the other fence to gate or opposite depending on what She says she'd be really argumentative and also bring up that she got a ticket for driving around speed bumps in the neighborhood a few years ago. Yeah, she has a history of...

And then he says the city we live in is called Rollingwood. Rollingwood? Yeah. That's a cool name. It's a good name for like a group of guys that smoke. Rollingwood, Texas. What county is that, Lauren?

That's, yeah. Travis County. What's her name? Julie? Julie. Hi, Julie. This is... Hi, Julie.

Hi, Julie, this is Mark from the Travis County permitting division of the building department here in Travis County. I would say it once. Yeah, I know. I was correcting myself at the end. When you guys were gone, I wanted to prank you and say that Chobani reached out to me

and wanted to send me the biggest yogurt, but I got nervous. Did you say that into the mic? Yeah. All right, ready? Hi, you've reached the voicemail for Julie Shaw. leave a voicemail hi julie this is mark here from the uh pill sorry this is mark from the building department of the

fuck the lights got to him the bright the lights wait i gotta call her back before she sees before she sees that voicemail wait she's gonna see what do you mean because if she listens to that she's gonna know it's fake so you have to leave it wait what all right damn it i blew it that was an all-time joke this is the blow this is the bill he laughed he laughed because you fucked it up twice well that was the prank call segment this is mike for the all right well that was awesome will you tell him that we tell him what's his name travis what's his name travis no that's the county for us all twisted up again the bright lights really

got to me okay well we text him back and be like i am so sorry rusty rusty could not have fumbled it harder all right we'll see you guys next week for our awesome her awesome prank call segment that one's gonna go down in history as one of the biggest fumbles of playdate history well if she calls me back if she calls me back i'll pick it up all right permitting division of the building department here in travis we made shirts that say it i know and they're available on our website right now go buy it almost friday.shop slash playdate maybe that voicemail could not have been ending it with fuck is yeah bad i'm sorry i cursed in front of your mom travis it's not travis what's his name eric i guess it could be travis i actually don't know what his name eric

but it's spelled a-r-i-c fuck i've never fumbled the interesting thing worse than that no remember your last relationship i didn't fumble that willie let me ask you a question what do you hate about jeans man stiff rubbing on my leg oh i hate when things that are stiff rub on my leg too especially jeans and that's where the perfect gene comes in the perfect gene has redefined what jeans can be no more crush nuts or saggy diaper butts just pure soft stretchy perfection i just want to say if there are playmates out there that like saggy diaper butts steer clear steer clear what can you do in the perfect gene you can rescue stray cats like a denim superhero You can manspread during game night.

The hell's a denim super here? You can break hearts and pull muscles on the dance floor. The Perfect Gene has six fits, a size range from 26 to 50-inch waist for my thick kings out there, and lengths up to 38, giving you 5,000-plus ways to find your perfect match. For a limited time, our listeners get 15% off their first order, plus free shipping at theperfectgene.nyc or Google The Perfect Gene and use code PLAYDAY15 for 15% off. that's 15 off for new customers at the perfect gene.nyc with promo code playdate15 after you

purchase they'll ask you where you heard about them please support our show and tell them we sent you fuck your khakis get the perfect gene all right what's our next segment now i'm all thrown off teach me something drum roll please did you guys do your oh yeah you did your have you guys ever heard of the main hermit no there was i thought of there's like a mate one there's like a primary hermit um all right the main hermit was i'm like really nervous about her calling back now the main hermit was this guy in maine in the 70s yeah he uh quit his job and she's calling you got willie d's the main hermit was this guy and he was kind of like a recluse and so he got

in his car started driving through maine and drove it until it ran out of gas and then he just got out and started walking through the woods okay he uh wanted to get away from society found this like perfect spot deep in the woods that was like all these like boulders whatever no he knew no hikers would come here so we set up camp here right and uh in the middle of the night he would like sneak down and steal someone's kayak and like kayak through the lake and like pop into people's houses and take like things just like canned goods and stuff not he wasn't wasn't malicious at all duct tape things that he needed whatever and then would go back and he would like hoard all this stuff for the winter and just survive on his own he didn't talk to anyone for i think until like

2000 something like 2006 he accidentally ran into a hiker she said hi he said hi it was the only word he said to another human being for like 45 years and then the uh people started to notice that like their stuff was missing and they felt like a bear was maybe breaking in and like taking their stuff because it was it wasn't like someone was like robbing them they were just like taking food and then leaving whatever you're going in people's houses what yeah and uh post 9-11 i guess every like uh law enforcement um department got like funding from the government and this county used it on like security cameras so you just set up security cameras in people's houses on this pond and they saw this like bearded guy walk in take like a thing of cornflakes and then leave

it's like that's odd and so they caught him and uh he you know went to jail well he's like a waiting trial he's in there for like six months he gets out the judge and like even the victims if you want to call them that we're like oh we don't even really care this guy just like didn't want to be a part of society like didn't he took like some soup like we don't really care yeah so the judge realized like he didn't really do anything wrong asked him how long he'd been in jail he was like six months they were like all right uh here's seven more days and then they just released him and he went and lived with his mom for the rest of his life he didn't go back no because he was on probation so he had to go to his mom's house got it that's pretty crazy when did that start

the 70s wow ladies are crazy time late 70s early 80s maybe the main hermit isn't that insane look up the main hermit camp i thought this was going to be about a hermit crab no look up look up his camp oh i feel bad i was like interrupting her um look up his camp though go to images you're interrupting what her like phone call yeah he just lived in this for like 40 years wow oh like what if she's on a business call and this guy this kid keeps trying to prank call her in the middle of the day on wednesday really fine declined it twice also i was like i'm not doing business with you anymore you get too many prank calls yeah it's his it's his son her son's doing it's her son's fault i know but we didn't even get anything out of it we just only

bothered her in my dreams now we got something out of it all right teach me something willie All right, so, oh, one of the cool things I got to do while I was in New Orleans was on Monday, me and Strider went to the World War II Museum. Oh, yeah. National World War II Museum, which is heavily focused on D-Day, because it used to be the National D-Day Museum, because they made all the boats for D-Day in New Orleans, or a lot of them. Anyway.

I didn't know that. That's pretty cool. Yeah, the Higgins boat is what it's called. With the one with the, like, door that swung down? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a nightmare day that would be. Because before that, they would have to just, like, put ramps and then, like, climb up and

go down but then the higgins boat had like a releasable back that would just flop down um but yeah what i found interesting about d-day that i didn't know was that so like they really the nazis really expected them to they knew they were coming for the atlantic wall and they expect what i'm just nothing they expected them to come into calais because that was like the most the easiest part of france to get to from england it's like where the channel's the shortest but they were going to attack normandy but they wanted to keep the nazis thinking that so they built a bunch of in they made a bunch of like inflatable tanks and planes yeah and like dummy paratroopers and so they like had a bunch of them so that when they did recon it looks like all their stuff was

stationed near calais yep and then they dropped paratroopers over calais that were just literally like body bags yeah they were like dolls with parachutes so that they thought they were getting attacked and so they like didn't uh realize that they were actually going to normandy that's so cool yeah they learn look up these like inflatable things they're really cool they would use them like outside of that as well like in like other other battles like they would like have these like inflatable tanks or whatever and like they would set up fake bases so that like whoever the germans whatever would go and like bomb these things and be like oh he did some damage but like no one was there that's so sick you want to know something sad yeah look how light it is

learning those four guys could pick it up you were just oh yeah wow um or the or that's a real thing and those are the four strongest guys the uh the germans obviously were doing a lot of fucked up stuff but one of the worst things that i heard about them is they would the holocaust yeah dude also i didn't realize it was about the holocaust you always we always hear about like six million jews like millions of other like that was just the jewish people yeah they killed like millions of other minorities like gypsies and like polacks and stuff whatever but they would train these dogs to to run under tanks lauren and so once they like their own tanks they would hide food and stuff under there and train them like that's where the thing is you want to go under

there and they strapped a bomb to the dogs the back of the dog's back that had this latch that when it hit the tank when they ran under the tank it would detonate and so they could just like send a dog and it would like explode this tank from the bottom the germans were fucked up fucked up people yeah it was bad it was on the whole was it cool it was fascinating yeah i'm sure going with strider too was like a dream yeah he knows so much that he was like really helpful to like fill in the blanks and it walks you through the whole thing wow the end though is a part of the holocaust and that shit is fucking grim yeah they have like photos that i've just yeah there was a holocaust museum near my home in chicago that we went to you're gonna say there

was a holocaust near my house is obviously horrible but very fascinating killed like bears fans um oh speaking of we were talking i guess we were talking about like bet lauren asked last week like how to get into history and stuff and i completely forgot to say history is dank strider strider our friend strider has a podcast called history is dank i went on it uh last week for uh we talked about pirates so if you want to check out that it's good liam and angus have gone on i think will you've gone on i've gone on twice talked about pirates twice will will has an open invite but does not have a car to get there yeah it's like kind of hard to justify driving out it's it where is it burbank yeah yeah uh i mean i would i will someday but yeah

they have these huge ass planes and shit b-17s and yeah that's all that gumbo and they had like oh they had this glove they had this like guy that oh this one's crazy it was like a glove with like a little gun thing on the outside and it was designed so like if you punch someone it would shoot a bullet into them whoa and we were like no way never heard about that like how when did they use that yeah we heard about them we read the thing it was like only 200 of these were ever made i was like all right so this they just wanted to include it but i don't think it was a big part of world war ii but it was it was really cool like they like talk walk you through like europe and the like pacific theater and like the rooms you're in are like

they recreate like like when you're in the pacific theater part it's like feels like you're in the jungle there's like sounds playing and like trees and like so you kind of get oh we were right by that like yeah um it was really cool world war ii sucked i'm so out on world wars yeah like well i don't want that shit to happen again i the good news is willie if there is a world war iii it's gonna be over pretty quick i don't know if that's true well it would just be first person to launch of nuke we all mean they had nukes in this too and it wasn't that i don't think they had them the way we had it where it's like button annihilated another country in like seven minutes yeah i mean they have because if the russians fire theirs and we we would just fire ours

mutual destruction the only reason there is there hasn't been one is the threat of mutual destruction yeah um that's awesome should we do this guy rocks this guy this guy ross this guy ross this guy ross this guy ross today okay so i don't know if you guys are familiar with uh these people on airdrop too there's this group of people out there uh uh who they're they're set their friend group is set up like a wolf pack so like they're this is general alpha yeah there's beta there's like a bunch of they all have different wolf names and this guy's usually really angry and then in this one he's really happy so he works at he works at texas roadhouse um and apparently one of his co-workers challenged him to do the fried pickle

hot sauce challenge the viral viral yeah hot sauce uh fried pickle challenge and so this is him uh giving it a shot let's let's watch it they did break it up into two parts so i don't know if he actually eats it in this one but you'll get i just think this is the hot sauce looks like just like a taco bell hot sauce so that is one of them that's one of the three that's one of the three levels um and i just think the dynamic of this group is fascinating it's me general wolfie again doing the most stupidest bear ever here's baby husky over there on the couch hi and the only one who cannot be here tonight is eric delta eric aka delta wolf aka delta aka midnight couldn't be here tonight because his ride unfortunately came and got him early so

he's not here for the challenge stop it you make me laugh that's the point beta okay sorry alpha shut up beta challenge i like this crew you like them yeah her foot's in pain she can't walk so she can't take part because her foot's in pain tonight she probably did a triple dog dare by Colin Montel himself by a buddy of mine named Colin Montel who works with me at Texas Roadhouse he's a pain in the butt

I was dared to literally do the grilled or fried pickle hot sauce challenge this is excruciating unfortunately I couldn't do it at my work so I'm doing it here

at my house But I'm taking it to the extreme level I'm not doing one hot sauce I'm not doing two I'm doing three The video's like about to end I'm doing a Diablo sauce from Taco Bell I am doing a Red Hot original

Frank's And I am doing Texas Pate hot sauce So those guys rock Wait we didn't even get to see I totally turned on those guys by the end of it I can't watch more of that Click on the right part

He finishes the challenge. Oh, Cliffhanger. This one? Yeah. Also, the three hot sauces he named are, like, very normal. The way he said Texas Pete was, like, it's like a Grim Reaper thing. It's like you put that on eggs. I'll miss you, babe.

Love you. Without further ado. I step on my eyes out where I pass out. Or die. I'll leave. That's going too far there. Please don't. Baby husky.

Well, what else am I supposed to say? Don't die. Look at the baby bottle on the table. I don't want to die here. I have too much to live for, damn it. Okay, just do the challenge, you goofball. Well, without further ado. Three.

There we go. Two. And three. Two. No way he does it. One. This is going to burn. Do it.

Oh, and it's one drop of each one. Do it. Do it. Scaredy cat? I'm scared. Oh, boy. How did you find this? look at his damn face

Colin can you see this can we talk about the fact that they're watching a Damon Sal I don't know if you guys know Vampire Diaries they're watching a Damon Salvatore best of compilation in the background I don't know what kind of people those are you know exactly what kind of people those are

what does that mean you've never met people like that uh no that type no i worked with a guy who was who was the in the reincarnation of this guy and alpha no but they just like i don't even i wish i had a better vocabulary to describe how i feel about these people can you imagine if that was your life will i mean they seem happy go to their page they do i don't want to i don't want to spend too much time with these people he's normally in the worst mood uh yeah maybe the true alpha soccer balls 55 i can't watch more of this guy do the do the part one of the full legit

go down go down get on this room probably smells so bad yeah sorry actually go up one learn because part two is only actually mean to say no i feel like that's mean i didn't realize he has the same fucking strength that's me and i'm sorry for my girl come on baby come on baby like delta could clearly win but he doesn't want to upset the pack i respect that he's not allowed to have his arm up like that yeah i don't think you can do that he's not your brother strong you know that right all right yeah you get the gist yeah now i'm actually uncomfortable okay and you clowned me well now i won't come do you think i just am empathizing for our audio

listeners that just have to listen yeah they're loving it dude oh my god that was the worst thing i've ever seen there i love those people lauren is right though that room probably smells like cheese straight coochie it's definitely cheese what did you why did you say that i didn't say that was will no i've listened to the audio before and sometimes you can't tell which one of us is talking you just said that i'm gaslighting half our audience into thinking he said it oh okay but there aren't those like can you imagine know what to make imagine if you're if you woke up one day and you were in their body and that was your life they seem to have a nice sense of community and like a cool group so i'll give them that do you think there's anyone that

sees us hanging out and feels that way about us probably no they might all right show me who rocks willie i think i slanked it to burn you slanked it to brin yeah slack it to brian brian is our fourth employee that just received slacks my grandpa uh yeah the most recent one is actually my other segment the name of the week the a funny name oh no you can do that now okay never you want the name now oh we can do it after we can do it i mean we're doing this yeah i know i i mean we didn't slot in the name thing so we can do whatever but we'll do it after this oh you already liked it so you've already liked this yeah i don't remember this all right this is uh if this is a someone's house is flooded and then you find out why so just wait

but the caption says what willie if we didn't have a camera nobody would believe us if i've liked it ring camera footage of their dog dragging the hose inside oh my god it everywhere isn't that awesome that is incredible i thought you guys you little dog heads might like that god that's really good all right should we do willie's name of the week willie's name of the week ready willy willy willy willy's name of the week uh willy willy willy willy's name of the week willy willy willy willy's name of the week uh people started submitting these this is a playmate submitted name of the week this is a high school star wide receiver booby feaster that's that's what they called me in middle school yeah crazy yeah not because i was

hooking up with girls but because i was breastfed far too long yeah he's going d1 probably he's an elite 2027 wide receiver boobie feaster i love it oh wait yeah look there's a comment right there tagging me and all-time names well i didn't know you had this instagram yeah you don't know what all-time names no you can scroll down sweet more wiener i like him gremlin gremlin oh yeah yeah click on the first both of those are hysterical that's not real

you need to bring this back i know just like when so posting on accounts is my job it's so hard to like yeah in my free time want to run a social media account but on tiktok the both of those totally like blew up the dusty guthrum got like five million views or something so we have like 10 000 followers on tiktok nice um but i never post it's only like three videos all right should we do super bowls super bowl commercials or prop bets oh let's do commercials all right tee it up willy here's a question rusty what are your all-time favorite super bowl commercials i like the one where it's a couple sitting in bed and the guy keeps like really really loudly farting and the wife's getting kind of mad and then finally she has enough and she

leaves and you go sleeps on the couch you're like oh what's about to happen here and then he pulls out a bag of doritos from out under the covers and he said finally i have you all to myself love that uh i like the have you seen the doritos commercial where the guy loves doritos so much that he goes and plants one in his backyard hoping to grow a dorito plant and then he comes back to check on it and his neighbor has dug up his entire yard because he got a taste of the first one and wanted to see if there were any more buried i like that yeah uh one of my favorite ones is that kid he's like climbing the tree at lauren oh she one second she's texting i'm listening uh one of my favorites is that kid he's climbing the tree and he falls out of the tree and

breaks his back and so they take him to the hospital and the doctor says um you know unfortunately your health cover your health and then so they take him to the hospital and the doctor comes out and he says unfortunately your health care uh isn't gonna cover this and they're like what and so they go home and they like lose the house because they have to like pay for all the bills out of pocket and like the dad like in a desperate attempt to like get money to his family like drives his car off a bridge to give them their life insurance and you're like oh my god this is grim and then it cuts and it's an executive on a beach and he's the executive of united healthcare and he's smoking a cigarette and drinking a margarita and he turns to the camera and he goes

united healthcare we fucking hate you that was really fun i like that um okay what about the oh you know what i love the bud light commercial where shane gillis and post malone swap bodies and then uh shane gillis in post malone's body immediately starts saying the n word and then finds out that post malone isn't black and gets his uh ass kicked i love that yeah um oh i like the can i have one commercial yeah so it's these two kids at a lunch table the kid pulls out um his lunch and the other kid goes oh can i have one fast forward now they're in high school they're behind the building kid pulls out a pack of cigarettes the other kid's like oh can i have one yeah fast forward now they're like old men watching the super bowl one guy pulls out a 12

pack of bud light the other old man goes can i have one and then the narrator goes some things never change i love that i love that uh how about the pizza hut commercial where they order delivery and they they're in pennsylvania and they accidentally put the address as 1600 pennsylvania ave so the pizza gets delivered to the white house so then they have to go on a full-blown stealth mission break into the white house to get their pizza so it becomes like a spy thing i love that yeah um oh i like the one where the blind guy gets lost okay and he's like walking around town he like can't find out where he is and then this like beautiful aroma he smells this beautiful aroma he starts following the trail and uh he walks in right in time as his wife is

putting down the stove for his mac and cheese and she goes dinner's ready where have you been he just goes i was just in the living room love that what about the uh the coca-cola commercial where the uh it opens on the polar bear and he's dead because we're killing our planet um i really like the yes uh i thought lauren would like that since she's so woke yeah you're like a lib uh i like the one where oh she's hungry i was talking i like the hungry no these are i'm very impressed with these keep going i like the one where the guys desert can you can you just enough enough enough i'm pitching you a commercial that doesn't exist ready i like the one where the guys on the deserted island and finally help comes and they bring all the supplies that he would need

to get him like you know nourished and so why are you looking at me like that i'm happy i'm a big fan of the one where the guy's on the deserted island and finally help comes they've seen his prayers and they have like food and water and all the stuff that he needs and he just walks right past them and goes in the cooler and grabs a bud light love that a few of these are for bud light no yeah this shouldn't be for friday beers you'd think we would have thought about that ricky yeah he walks right past them and grabs an ice cold ricky like that um bird the new bird commercial where they announce all the uh like new feathers and birds for this year nice i just i mean it's not always fun but it's just good to know all right those were super bowl commercials

that don't exist yeah beautiful these are okay i think you phrase it the same way yeah super bowl is this sunday what are some prop bets you're gonna be betting on that you think are gonna win oh i'm excited to bet on uh how many incorrect notes are sung during the national anthem okay yeah i'm gonna do um anytime i'm gonna bet put like probably 50 bucks or something on uh anytime finger up the butt during a tush push it's gotta happen at least once right uh oh i'm excited to bet on how many cliches the winning team uses during their victory speech gotcha i like that uh yeah i got uh taylor swift anytime celeb call where she gets to call one play and it's a deep fade to hollywood brown okay it's a total diversion where they think it's

gonna go to travis i like that yeah uh oh over under arrests made in the city of the winning team during the riot i like that uh i've got antonio fuck not antonio brown he quit he actually quit on his team and now he runs us twitter i've got aj brown to read his book upside down minus 300 i feel like that could be an easy one there's no way he's reading that book no maybe like a sentence why do you think he can't read well i don't think that he's reading a book during the middle of an nfl game wait what there's a layer on the ego self-help book reads in between drives but i'm like the adrenaline it would be so hard to like sit and read a book it's like a self-help homes himself yeah uh i just want to know the amount of you bet on the

amount of beer drank during the super bowl across the whole country oh so you could like bet the over and then just like try and put the city put the team on your back a little bit yeah i like that uh i've got andy reed to trip a guy on the sidelines and then go is he dumb no it's fine bet on it uh i just want to bet on the amount of money wagered on the game so you could bet the over and then if you could get a loan of like a million dollars you could help it in your favor i like that uh i got mike anytime touchdown my buddy mike you love you love doing mike's mike ones mike check do you have a buddy named mike no do you no i do i do not a clip not that close but

all right lauren whose personality are you gonna steal this week whose personality episode it's been a bizarre one i'm sorry if this is anyone's first one they're not normally like this i'm all jet lagged um whose personality am i stealing i'm stealing um somebody else go first i'm stealing rusty's like staring down will's stomach i feel like i'm interrupting something I'm stealing Patrick Mahomes' personality. Ugh, why? Because I'm going for a three-peat, baby.

Three weeks in a row of eating Taco Bell. Do you really want the Chiefs to win? Yeah. Why? I kind of want a three-peat. That's so bizarre. I do like the Chiefs. A lot of people hate the Chiefs.

I think the Taylor Swift thing was a turnoff for a lot of people, but I like her. I love Taylor, yeah. yeah i think it's like cool move your hand but i i actually like the eagles too so i i'm rooting for the eagles but i'm betting on the chiefs ew no just my body grosses you out he's like drooling this is disgusting all right rusty whose personality are you stealing whoever ew you guys are disgusting i think i'm gonna get into body shots this week i'm gonna start doing more body shots so i'm gonna steal like a freshman girl on spring

breaks personality and start doing more body shots i'm gonna steal the multiple choice freshmen's do you ever see my body shot sketch no i go body shots you've never seen body shots maybe look up willie denell in tiktok look up willie denell in tiktok i am oh guess what i got rosemary sourdough bread from trade from whole foods and i'm gonna make a yumalicious peanut butter and jelly after this okay tick tock i don't even care about anything i say oh i might borrow some bread you owe me so yeah it's really good um wait is it this yeah how did you get that so quickly because she's on her on her back yeah yeah watch it

it looks like i'm hard wait okay you're like really eager to push a woman it does look like you're hard all right guys we love you is this a wednesday or monday episode how do you never know can you figure it out yourself you've not gotten this right yet once think about it what's today he has to say

have a great Tuesday and we will see you it's Monday have a great Tuesday and we will see you on Wednesday for our Wednesday episode we love you I'm talking to the playmates yeah but you're saying the wrong days they're all confused

now they're all going to go to work on Saturday have a great monday have a great tomorrow and then we will see you guys on wednesday for our wednesday episode we love you so much uh comment comment scorp comment scorp spam scorp all right love you guys lauren play that theme music