Will & Rusty's Playdate - we found the only 60s guy in the world

Episode Date: June 9, 2025

The boys recap their cruise to the Bahamas, debate designated couch spots, and weigh in on whether a Playmate was the a**hole for failing a classmate. They also discover the last living ’60s guy, draft their favorite Kim Jong Un rumors, and rank the best ways to say you pooped your pants. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP NEW MERCH HERE: https://playdatepod.shop/ RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg SUBMIT YOUR BUSINESS PITCH HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdPHd7Ps9TaX-TOozyLhDpr9Y7pFNMP9PX7cHuLxap1R78GWg/viewform?usp=header SUBMIT YOUR AITA STORY HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdQElfqdQutn3dzl5HcZfey6YWhbVd-n6XE7FkpfosWZyYhyA/viewform?usp=sf_link SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: LAST CALL: THE AFTER-ALCOHOL PRODUCT THAT ACTUALLY WORKS. VISIT https://trylastcall.com/PLAYDATE FOR 25% OFF YOUR FIRST ORDER. HEAD TO https://guyfox.com/playdate AND USE CODE BEERS FOR FREE SHIPPING & $10 OFF YOUR PURCHASE RIGHT NOW! USE BETMGM BONUS CODE PLAYDATE AND GET YOUR $1500 FIRST BET OFFER TODAY https://promo.nj.betmgm.com/en/promo/geolocator?orh=promo.betmgm.com&wm=7123555 00:00 Intro 07:58 Margaritaville at Sea 12:54 Swimming with Pigs 23:25 Greenville, SC 28:32 Living a Lie 37:51 Polygamy 45:02 Roadmap 50:45 Pitch Submissions 01:09:19 Pitches 01:14:19 AITA 01:18:34 This Guy Rocks 01:23:31 Teach Me Something 01:25:24 Drafts #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It doesn't count. Tom Brady. Yeah, that counts. I want to do one. Jimmy Garoppolo. I think he wears 10. Chad Pennington. Bang.

Is that right? Chad? Chad Pennington. Maybe? Fuck! Oh, my God. Jesus. Fucking shit, he's 10.

Fuck. All right, we got a lot to unpack, dude. Yeah, I went to a viral Mets game last night. I saw. Do you want the good news or the bad news? I want the bad news so that we can end on a high note. Okay, the bad news is we were winning going into the ninth inning. They hit a home run in the ninth to tie it, went to extras.

I was sitting in right field, like right by the foul pole, front row. Brandon Nimmo dropped a routine fly ball about four feet from me to end the game. Freddie Freeman hit. I mean, it was, like, a long hit, but it was, like, to the warning track. Yeah. And he just, like, couldn't find it and just fell. And that's how we lost the fucking game. I hate Dodgers fans so fucking much.

Yeah. I wanted to win in that stadium so bad after last year's playoffs and having to walk out and see this smug little look on all their fucking faces. Oh, and they give it to you. Yeah, they give it to you on the way out. When we went, they were fucking giving it to us on the way out, too. Correct. They just win or lose.

but that was like a day game and i feel like it gets like like you can only get so like intense when the sun is out does that make any sense yeah yeah yeah because it was like it was like the middle of it was tuesday at like 4 p.m and the mets it was yeah it was a monday at one yeah the game is like a monday one o'clock start and the mets won that game too and then but then game six the nlcs was like the most grim like people were like threatening to stab my brother me and my brother they pitted us against each other me and my brother got like a huge the biggest fight me and my brother have ever gotten on was on the shuttle from dodger stadium to union station back or something yeah because i just i was pretty i mean we were you

know i've been drinking and i was telling i was worried i guess in the moment that the dodgers fans were gonna eat us so i was telling them wait what i was trying i was being too nice to them yeah not eat but like i was like being like ah okay whatever who cares and he's like what stand up like that and then I was like you know Sam used to be a Yankees fan so it's really not even that big of a deal and he was so mad that I was like throwing him under the bus you gotta have his back I was being I was in the wrong but it was it literally left such a sour taste in my mouth I was like so excited to go back and reclaim and then Brandon Nimmo is a bonehead and it was literally right in front of me anyway that's the bad news okay one thing on that I will in Sam's

defense he was in the right he's in the right but also like when you're i guess in both of your defenses when you're drunk and it feels like someone doesn't have your back it's way worse that's the that's the thing that irks me like when i when that guy at uh at townhouse was chirping me when i was playing pool yeah yeah flan thought it was funny and we got in the uber and i was like you never have my back and she was like what are you talking about i always have your back but you were like in the wrong yes yeah you can't be like yelling at guys over over pool yeah i just oh that was so okay what's the good news the good news is i bought 40 spots in the 50 50 raffle okay and i completely forgot about the 50 50 raffle so i figured it could be a fun

thing on the podcast we could look it up and see if i won what i don't know what this is um they do like they like sell raffle tickets a lot it's like a lottery basically and it's like half the money goes to charity and then half of it goes to like the winner so i have 40 numbers and you can google dodgers 50 50 raffle i think you can do it after the game i'm pretty sure yeah where would you even i think they yeah see yeah click that okay all right oh my god june 3rd versus the mets give me that number it's like it's like tens of thousands of dollars i would get 21 000 22 000 what well i can't read that at all three zero zero one all mine start with seven this is what i hate about the yeah it's stupid at the at the diamondbacks game they printed

all random but like i got 40 numbers and they're all sequential so like the first they just you immediately you immediately know he doesn't we didn't even get to like get his hopes up a little bit can you zoom in on it i believe you i just need to see it with my own eyes he needs closure damn wait so in theory in theory you should just be buying like a hundred oh my siri went off uh in theory in theory in theory you should be buying if you went to every game you bought like 100 tickets you probably probably win right yeah yeah i think about checks out on that so every game someone becomes like gets like life-changing money it was 47 000 that's the total the right you win half of that so it's 21 000 but yeah some of the games like the the weekend games were like

wow people were winning 50 grand no but yeah that's that's insane that's like 40 42 000 is like yeah would turn someone's life around totally that's insane it could have been fucking me i would have bought like a a new couch for the podcast like imagine i got a thousand dollar couch i have like a throat well i would have won 20 i would only want 22 come in your your couch is gone and there's like a like photo accurate medieval gold what's it called throne throne yeah all right we got a lot to we got a lot to unpack willie and i we haven't recorded oh i forgot we we went and we went and visited jimmy all right i'll start with the i'll start with the softball i ordered postmates last night okay and when you order for

like 7-eleven it's like snacks like it's kind of a given that if you order a bunch like one's gonna be like slightly wrong and that's like not the end of the world sure my postmates ordered last night he got zero of the items correct we'll put a picture right here i ordered i had a little bit of weed and so i had no i was just a little high and so i got cool ranch choritos and two heath bars okay crazy or crazy thing to postmates that's why i was saying like that's why i was prefacing with like i was high like i'm not like a madman who's like yeah you know it hit the spot right now so whatever we'll put a picture of it right here he got the wrong flavor of doritos which is like not the end of the world but it was salsa verde it's like i didn't even know

actually sounds good that's what i thought it's they're essentially just tortilla chips with like mild seasoning on them and they got me a plain hershey's bar just one such a bummer which was still good but it was like yeah it was like the guy didn't even fucking try maybe he's never maybe he's from a planet where there's no candy huh yeah they looked awesome so yeah that was sick when i was walking back to my room i out loud said like i opened it and was gonna be bad and then i and then out loud went like could be gas and z was like what like because it was i said it like i was talking to him yeah i was like i just i didn't want to explain the situation so i just went back to my room uh the intercom lady willie let's talk about the intercom when we were getting

getting off the boat yeah and the woman kept so it is when it's time to get off the cruise we went on margaritaville at sea when it's time to get off the cruise the um the lady comes over the intercom and is kind of like directing people through it and then every couple minutes like would she would need to see someone maybe there's something they need to talk to them about whatever all the names were like not real names cloudy petite yeah cloudy she was like paging a cloudy petite we were like that sounds like i saw a few of those yeah it sounds like like an odd fetish but when you're like really hung over and you're just trying to we had in the span of three days we had uh 55 drinks it was each oh my each each they did each one was a we never had the same

drink twice we were trying to drink every drink on the cruise i mean they were all like fruity cocktails that like for the most part didn't have like a ton of alcohol in them i don't know some of them tasted kind of strong to me but yeah i guess it was i mean there's a world in which that could be like mind-altering do you feel ill right now just from all i feel fine today yesterday and the day before that were were tough it was the idea was we were going to try every cocktail on the cruise i didn't realize there were 65 you thought they were going to be like 25 we failed we failed because they cut you off after 15 every day yeah and so a couple days we like snuck in a couple more yeah but at the end when we hit our 15th drink on the last day there were like the bar

we saved for last every bar is supposed to have like seven to nine drinks the bar we saved for last had like 30 different cocktails yeah it was insane and so we had some we left some meat on the bone and did all the employees know what you guys were doing yeah they kind of caught it on at the end there were a couple bartenders that like were they thought it was really funny and then some of them i just i think enough people are drinking in excess that it i don't think anyone like no one had a problem with not at all but i'm saying like for some people that just didn't even raise any flags that like these guys are going nuts it was it was the experience of a lifetime there was uh no one that no we what i was reminiscing on is we so many people thought

that we were the same person like more than any setting twins yeah or like remember the lady coming up to you and being like you crushed that taylor swift karaoke oh yeah people were saying to me like you and your bro like there was and i think that's the perfect testament to the fact that there was no one else who like in our demographic on the entire boat at all it was like families with little kids and old swingers yeah it was like you know some like isn't a thing that like asians think all white people look yeah or whatever it was like we were in another country where it was like a novelty to look the way we look like everyone thought we were at at least brothers more often than not twins yep and then every once in a while the same person which was

kind of kind of interesting yeah it was it was kind of i don't see it i don't think i don't i think we both have we both have a similar such different features level of hair but like that's kind of it shoes i guess we would but we're both wearing similar shoes wearing shoes uh like oh where are those two kids always sporting kicks but when you're when you're a hungover and the woman's like paging cloudy petite or like where where's like nipples skid mark and you're like all right like it was like really funny for the first one and then after the last one you're just like stop i think it's a way of smoking people out it works we were like all right let's get off this

so how was the sleeping right like did you when you guys went to bed did you feel i mean i guess you were drunk anyway but did you feel like you're on a boat i did not oh you didn't sleep sleep at all really no i'm kidding it's so it's so massive that you don't feel them i did not sleep i was like no what i did not really uh i didn't i was gonna say i didn't sleep very well and yeah i mean i definitely found it hard to go to sleep oh i passed the second i don't remember going to bed once i remember just like laying down and just being like out yeah i don't know there was the the first or second night there was one night i was just laying there for a couple hours it's kind of a bummer but no it's such a big boat you're not you're not like aware that

you're in the ocean yeah there was a storm at one point was there really oh like off in the distance no we were over us yeah i didn't know that yeah nice we swam with pigs yeah we'll put a picture of it right here oh you didn't see our little baby pig photo no i texted i didn't see any photos this whole weekend are you drunk no i literally didn't do anything you're black on instagram wait you posted on instagram you blocked it we each posted like 30 plus stories i think what of baby pigs i think i posted two stories i didn't see one i texted you a picture of us with baby pigs i think no you don't put a picture over right here can you send do you have it yeah oh you want to pull it up right now pull it up right now yeah it'd be fun you could airdrop

it we could look at it and smile um reminisce on the good old days that's so cute yeah so how are you the way will's holding this pig wait until you see this learn lauren turn that airdrop on girl come on um yeah i honestly thought i was gonna see more stories from airdrop down I didn't pick up a hammer. I didn't see anything. I'll just slack it to you. Girl, put that. What?

Girl, drop that hammer. Girl, put that Claro down. I remember realizing that the mouse could do that. What? What? Girl, put that Claro down. You need a basketball. Girl, put that Claro down and go buy a new couch.

Girl, what's like the girl equivalent of Claro? I psyched it to. Oh, I psyched it to Lauren. That's my girl. Wonder horse. Girl, put that wonder horse down and get yourself a lip gloss. Basketball. Girl, put that basketball down and go buy a house.

Yes. Yes. People aren't saying that. That sounds like. Oh, my gosh. Look at his little legs behind Willie. Oh, my gosh. Wait, that's so cute.

Lauren, blur my tummy. Replace it with. Lauren, replace my tummy with washboard abs, please. Lauren, replace my head with a basketball. All right, now make the pig. Were they squirming all around? That pig's asleep in Will's arms. Oh, my gosh.

Wait, what? Lauren, make the pig fabulous. Yeah, it was so cute. Oh, my. And it was just like. They can't vote, apparently. Were there any pink ones? no

there was one we'll put a picture of it right here there was one that was like Neapolitan it was like brown pink and

white was there you took a picture of it Lucas took a picture it was like do you not see that one that was like striped no

I was kind of scared of them these were the babies they had huge oh yeah they had big ones that like that like turn into

you know because you know if you let a pig out into the wild like turns into a boar like it goes crazy you could like have a pig and if it's domesticated it looks like a pig and then if you let it out into the wild it like evolves into a boar it's a true thing so it gets pull it up because i don't believe me what's the yeah what's the what does that mean they uh like their hair becomes coarser they have like tusks they have

like other shit and they like their snout becomes uh two generations they don't like go and like mutate i think no no i think they do i think they do wars are scary but they were like closer to that than holy shit there was one that was this they just weren't pink yeah they were not pink oh wait wait did they go into the woods yeah yes they do wait lauren google it like in more google it in more depth google like like what happens if if you release a domesticated pig into the wild yeah go to that reddit go to the first reddit really uh a few weeks now eventually through over several generations okay so joe rogan was wrong yeah everyone can blame joe rogan i saw a clip of him talking about it um but they were

over the course Joe Rogan said the pigs will quickly revert over the course of just a few weeks yeah isn't it crazy

he's allowed to do that I guess I do it on a way smaller scale yeah but he can just say whatever he wants to like a billion people

so can you explain you're on the cruise and then you would you would dock and then get off for a few hours or like what was the daily itinerary

we like docked in the Bahamas we got off we took a boat to this island got out had lunch or got out

got in the water with the pigs fed them carrots went up to lunch had some lunch there swam around the ocean for a little bit and then uh just got back on the it was like there's one day that we got to get off the boat two of the days we were fully on there was a woman on the uh on our like shuttle boat that like was completely quiet on the way there and then clearly had a couple cocktails like there and came out of her shell a little bit more on the way back and was like we passed another shuttle boat that was playing music and you could tell she you could see the idea happen immediately and she was like hand me that speaker hand me that speaker to her like son or stepson or something and uh so he's like they're like no don't like stop like it's gonna be fine she was

like hand me that speaker and started blasting like kind of like the hits like i will i thought it was fun that's what to her credit like it could have been yeah it was it was very widely liked music but the problem is on the way home the captain is like trying to give you like a tour and so every time he would start talking she would pause it and then she would try and guess when he was going to be done with this sentence and start it again yeah and so stop and it was just like stop start stop start we saw ellen degenerous we saw ellen degenerous in his house oh degenerates but even ellen love our shit that's pretty good that's a drake lyric uh you think i just came up with that that's pretty awesome yeah uh oh on the way there riding on my porsche like i'm ellen

degeneres uh lauren she is uh yeah okay so on the way this is i came up with that so drake hit my line did you actually come up with that yeah nice we were flying to west palm we're wasting away we get in we get on the or we fly we're flying to uh atlanta we get on the plane i put all my belongings down and then like went to the bathroom did i tell you this already i think this was the thing i thought you were texting me about but i don't know if you've heard this yet lucas saw it oh you did tell me this so we're i put my like ipad phone charger uh a dildo dildo and then i put my back i'm joking put my backpack in the overhead bed and then i had to pee so i walked to pete we're still on the ground when i come back all my stuff is gone and i looked at

the guy next to me and was like what and he was like oh i i didn't know where you went so i gave all your stuff to the flight attendant and i was like she comes out like in birkenstocks and jeans i was like what why would you do that and he was like i don't i don't know i'll go get it And he went and got my stuff, and then I was just, like, so, so confused. He saw me put it down. Like, there was, I don't know if he thought, like, I wasn't supposed to be sitting there or something. I don't know. He gave all my stuff to the flight attendant and then came back and was like, sorry.

I was like, if I did that to someone, I would be on, like, a no-fly list. Like, I. Yeah. I mean, he must have just thought you, I don't know what he thought. And then. He thought you were iPad bombing him. It's a classic prank where guys board a plane, drop their iPad, and then leave. he thought he was getting ipad bombed well and then he put then the guy did a move i've never

seen yeah it was a good movie might have seen on the could be the move instagram story he took yes because i was also trying to watch tv on my phone because i had and or downloaded i'm watching i'm gonna watch the finale tonight i can't wait you guys stuck a selfie stick into the seat back pocket so that it came up and like the phone part was right by his face and then put his phone it It was genius. He earned a lot of my respect. I've never seen anything like it. The only problem with it was the guy in front of him was like a little bit of a busy beaver.

It was like kind of like getting up and like moving and like adjusting his seat and then like standing up or whatever. And every time the slightest movement happened, it would jostle the thing and his phone would just fall all the way back down and he'd be like, ah, put it back. That sucks. But yeah, it was interesting. It was magical. Last Call is an after-alcohol product that actually works.

It's inspired by these hangover products over in Korea. They're wildly popular over there because they work. You take them after drinking, during drinking. This is like every time you drink, you just pop a little Last Call. Slip a pack in your pocket before you go out and then on your way. I like to do it either in the Uber home or if I forgot, take them in the bathroom, look myself in the mirror, kiss myself goodnight. Slap my cheeks and say, you're going to love yourself tomorrow because of Last Call. Yes.

Willie and I got up to some serious drinking this week on the Margaritaville at Sea cruise. I literally think the only thing keeping us alive was Last Call in the morning. It was, yeah. Sorry, Last Call the night before. Well, it kept us alive in the morning from the night before. No, yeah. Last Call was a savior this weekend on the Margaritaville at Sea excursion we went on. Yeah.

And it's become a very important part of my weekend routine. They're actually kind of mad at us. Not mad. Not actually. They're happy that it's happening, but apparently you guys have been buying the ass out of it because of these ad reads, and they said they're not able to keep up with the demand. Oh, seriously? Yeah, which I think my argument was good problem to have.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good problem to have. Go order some Last Call today at trylastcall.com slash playdate for 25% off your first order. The code is playdate, and it'll automatically apply if you use those links. try this weekend take it out with you pop it before during or after you drink and come on you're gonna feel great the next day shout out to we i wrote this down shout out to michael at methodical coffee for sending us beans oh yeah that was very nice of you uh so if you guys i think greenville greenville greenville is it greenville greenville available online learn

we're not sure yeah of course i mean he sent us beans you guys have been there if you guys like coffee the coffee shop get methodical coffee this the bean smells so good i'm so i don't have a grinder but i google methodical yeah all lauren lauren lauren girl we know you got a grinder no i don't all the weed you're smoking i also we also want to shout out madeline who made these or madeline madeline um she made these bug paintings for us i put them on the story the other day she almost on two occasions in the last couple days has almost torn this podcast apart wait why when we got them she had secretly wrote all of our names on the back and wanted us to guess whose was and we were supposed to guess who was who but i got so excited

i didn't read the note and so i grabbed wills and was like i'm gonna take this home and then lauren said no that's wills and then i go okay fair enough let's display them proudly in the podcast studio so i put mine originally right here and wills where it is now and then i came in and lauren had put them on the top of the shelves which they were visible in the wide shot but they weren't going to be invisible when they were up close and so i made a big stink about it i made too big of a stink about it way too big it almost uh it almost broke up yeah i was getting really pissed oh yeah will was pissed i'm so mad about that whatever thing yeah if anyone wants to send us more paintings if anyone wants to send us a hundred paintings one bigger than the last

each one bigger than the last that would be fun i've been to you've been here coffee yeah i wait did you did you see i lived in greenville for a year oh you did yeah i like almost would have maybe moved there really it's kind of nice wait what why i was after graduation i was applying for a job i was like kind of far along the interview process for this job and then the company ended up having to pause this company no no the company i was interviewing for i had to pause the the i don't remember it was a few years ago it was like a marketing media agency um it was like some editor role or something uh it lauren in post in post insert uh into third name right here you made the biggest mistake of your life damn right

you lost out on the best employee you could ever have that's true her only flaw is she drinks a little bit but it's all right it's okay i uh i think greenville was really cool it was like growing a lot and it's like a cool downtown yeah but there was this sort of like i don't say this in like it's just like was hard for me to fit in there was like like the cool hipster vibe was like in like a youth group way does that make sense like Like, people, like, that I thought, like, fit my vibe would end up being really religious and, like, conservative, and I just don't align with that. I get that.

Not that I, not that I, like, they were the nicest people in the world. It was just, like, we have different, we look at the world differently, and we have different values and things that we care about, and it just made it, like, a little bit hard to build, like. No, that's fair. Kind of, like, in the same way, at face value, like, the Utah Mormon kids look like they would be right up your alley but like i think their day-to-day looks a little bit different yeah it was just there was just like sort of or just like everyone was just like trying to like

get married and shit too and i was like i if all my friends in greenville are all married now is it all the like uh married in a year in the suburbs type yeah there was some of the yeah you'll be married in a year in the suburbs with a kid on the way in three convincing yourself you're living the american dream it's funny to be like that's not something i like and then i've watched it enough times to i could sing it i could sing it with my fucking hands tied behind my back um wait more than ever everyone's getting engaged and and proposed to in the last like two weeks what is yeah crazy who i'm just hearing of i know friends of friends being like oh my oh my first not people in our life no no just like friends being like oh my

first it's my college friends like it's the first wedding in our friend group i'm like what why is this i feel like we're still babies i'm supposed to get married this year that's true i don't know if i'm any closer than i was at the beginning but yeah what do you mean you're supposed to get married this year i'm supposed to get married by the end of this year i told you that was my new year's goal oh i thought it sounded like you entered into like a contract with like the devil i made a contract with god that i would settle down by the end of this year specifically what what was i gonna say about them the marriage when i was in greenville i actually don't know if i in a rare turn of events i don't know if i've told this story well you've really never talked

about green living i didn't know that this was a part of your life yeah it was the campaign i took a year off college i lived in greenville um and i would go to this it was coronavirus hit while i was living there just kind of weird didn't really know what to do uh but i would go to this coffee i we weren't working out of our like campaign office anymore it was remote but i was like going fucking crazy in my apartment so i would go to this coffee shop that was like open air every day and uh it was like a coffee shop till like 5 p.m and then they would like they had like draft beer so i'd like sit there all day and work there and then i would at the end of the day have a few beers actually sounds delightful yeah i mean it was fun it's called mountain goat i think

and i had this uh it was a really lovely place and then i had this there was a guy there and a bartender named david very very nice guy became very close with him because i literally like five days a week i was there maybe even sometimes on the weekends too for the beer aspect and uh became very close with the guy and it i the first time i had ordered a beer there i had shown him my fake id which said i was 23 or something because i'd gotten it a few years and i was 19 uh so i was 19 pretending to be 23 and then over the course of these months became like very close friends of this guy but i it was like two twofold where like i still want to be able to get beers there right and i didn't want to like tell him i've been like kind of lying to him this

whole time so i i told him i'd gone to boston college but that i'd graduated when the in reality i'd gone for a year and a half at that point and uh so i was like living this lie and he became it became he invited me to like his house for poker night with his buddies and i was like sure like that sounds great so i went to poker night at this guy's house i'm with all his friends they're asking me questions about myself and i'm having to like think before i say anything to try to remember to not like give up the lie yeah then i find out his buddies that i'm there with work for blaze tv which is like a right like a conservative right-wing media company and i'm at this point working for a democratic campaign so i'm like it was a very very it was

one of the most like i don't know i was like my spots gonna get blown up because like then if my spot gets blown up then it's like this conservative media company now would have like like this could impact our campaign oh i didn't even think about that my candidate or like it yeah and so i you know what i mean like not that like i don't know if that's really a story but i think it's just like like it could be it could it could feel like when an undercover cop like becomes friends with the biker gang he was supposed to investigate it's like oh i'm like really i'm in the inside like i was having fun playing poker they were nice guys but i was just like oh man i'm in too deep yeah and then i left greenville and i told david i forgot what i said i was like i'm going

to grad school i think i told him and then going back to school so he never followed you on insta there was never like a social media i think but i guess it was like plausible i don't i remember him texting me once i was back at college at one point like hey man thinking about you like how's life it's like are you are you in grad school now like i see you're posting back at bc and i was like yep doing some grad school that's and uh that's wild i can't i lied to this guy i've never told him the truth that's great i i think you like in college we would keep the bartenders and the bouncers kind of at like arm's length because it was like kind of a don't ask don't tell thing like they know maybe they know you're not 21 but like can't be can't be friends with

them and then like lying to them because then that's like i don't know you could get them in trouble it's like in uh in fast and furious you ever seen it willy no lauren you ever seen fast i've heard of vin diesel though there's a guy dying and paul walker who is an undercover cop okay calls in and says like this is undercover undercover deputy like so and so uh i need assistance like right now because he was like he gave up the lie to save his friend but then vin diesel now realizes that he was whatever whatever no i mean yeah i i i can't i don't know it was just i got so far in i couldn't he really like he definitely thought i was the age i said i think it's i just had to stop being friends with him because it was like i had gotten

too far into the lie like i had to stop like respond to his texts i was like i can't keep living this lie no that is impressive i can't yeah i cannot lie it's kind of scary i think everything every you everything was kosher until you went to his house for poker night like that's that's like our co-worker tanner makes plans with like uber drivers he went to we were ubering one time to a bar and uh he made friends with the uber driver and then the next day they went to an antique car show together that's awesome i know but it's i had to i think we have very different approaches on on that like i want to just keep the strangers at arm's length i think that's like dangerous and it's dangerous to go to an antique car show with an uber driver

yeah i think probably i think you have some irrational fear of uber drivers that i can't i really do i really do i think it was when i learned there's like a there's like a button there's a button for help on uber that's like if you let go of it or something it'll alert the authorities and i think like if that's necessary like enough people got kidnapped or something by i mean people have been killed so many people by uber drivers yeah but not like a like yeah you should be safe they're random people that are getting in their car but like 99.9 i have the same i have the same fear about like postmates people like i every time i'm convinced that they poisoned my food yeah i don't know also it's it's like the i think him where where him where

he loses me is like i don't want to talk to the uber driver well that's a different conversation he really wants to talk if you're in the car yes i was in the car when he was talking to that guy and it was annoying that i agree but if he wants to go hang out with him that's i or they went into the woods with tennessee luke camping alone yeah that's about a loaded gun like i think he he doesn't drive for uber he doesn't but i'm just saying like harmless no i'm saying his tanner yes sorry but tanners tanners like just blind trust in like everyone's good yes is scary to me agreed i think you need to be on your toes a little bit more but i think it can go the other way too like i think sometimes i'll be like too like i don't know most people are nice totally

you gotta be smart but yeah like the tennessee luke thing is crazy who's tennessee luke he's guy we worked with who's like kind of a madman and they went into the woods with him and he was like talking crazy it's like the middle of the night they're like sitting around a campfire in the woods and tennessee luke like pulled out like an a loaded gun or they what's the context of this why what they were a work he was a guy from like tim and eric's show if you ever watched that so like they like kind of like like this guy and lucas wanted to go they wanted to go on he said that he knew where there was gold or something and they're like this oh i actually like a documentary about this and he said he's gonna bring his gun and they're like all right

but then we're keeping the ammo and so they had the ammo and then they found out he had like kept some of the ammo himself after telling them that they could hold on to the ammo that's weird so then they were like yeah that's us i yeah sus sus uh dun dun lauren venting i also i have one other thing i just remembered about when i was living a lie in greenville i was also went to this other bar all the time called what ails you good name for bar that's good and uh really good actually all again all built on the pretense of me being of age and ended up being their trivia host and they said they would i could host trivia and they would pay me in beer so they would like give me free beer in exchange for hosting trivia there yeah also 19 i think it's very there it's very

funny because it worked out but i think yeah i could i mean i would have felt horrible if something it would it's it's implied that there's always going to be a couple people with like fake ids in a bar but you're not like implicating them in a crime if like for some reason they've the authorities found out that they were like paying a minor in alcohol to host trivia night like you could like get them yeah take it down i mean there was no it was that was not gonna happen it was a tiny little bar and outside of greenville but yes uh we met this guy named bong yeah and he has he's marrying his third wife at the same time at the same day like they have sorry yeah yeah that he has he's gotten divorced from his three marriages zero divorces yeah he's

bad and perfect what do you mean at the same time he's a polygamist he's from africa he's a polygamist oh dad has five wives and he was gonna he about to go he's like i'm going home soon to get married to my third wife here's a question so the two are already still current yeah and they all get along he said wow how do they keep up with that though because there's uh slight there's just like a hair more women than there are men in the world or vice versa but like if like if one guy has five that implies that five guys or four guys have zero right yeah i don't yeah like do you like do you either there's no middle ground you either have like five or zero or yeah i don't know or there's just more women that are down to do it than men that are yeah or

there's like they could do like mergers and acquisitions so you like yeah there are now two husbands and ten wives she's on loan to mike for the next year was he alone how did this he was a bartender oh okay there were a lot of cool bartenders there's a guy named amel yeah who uh was like i'm from bosnia that was my impression of him yeah they were all from bosnia and i was trying to flex my knowledge of of eastern europe countries because i can i can write the ball down on a map if you handed me a blank map i could tell you where every country in europe is what okay what what if this is europe what's that one that would be uh that would be montenegro holy shit um and i kind of just it's harder to picture a map than i thought and i kept being like bosnia

is right right next to croatia and they were like it's under it and i was like but it's next to it and they were like it's on there it's on there we need we need more lemon pledge we need more lemon pledgers in family guy of course dude we're guys we need more lemon pledge that's a character quote yeah yeah lauren how are you doing i'm good what'd you do this weekend you got two new tattoos i did come on girl oh yeah oh shit she was inspired by korean fan death and got a korean fan on her actually looks like that um well no it's chinese no it's a yin yang thing which is like blades around it it literally looks like what does it mean well it's it's the yin and yang and then i got their sun sun beams around and then i got two little angels right here

um and you got a benson boone tattoo on your thigh yeah on my thigh i'll show you guys that another time but i went to the huntington botanical gardens in pasadena on saturday that was lovely i met my i met my friend's cousin's little baby i haven't been around a baby in so long dude it's like kind of scary to hold them i agree i'm like i don't like that they have soft spots i don't trust myself i don't like that they can't talk or move how was companion oh companion was great the movie tell us about it um this restaurant in venice has wonderful pasta and pizza the pizza was great loved loved the one you recommended it was super dang klaus bang but i'm more of a pasta gal and we got the arrabbiata is that the

funny shaped one yes those noodles were insane oh my god noodle what's the shape of that called bow tie no it's like they're like dude they're like pillows and they're they got a new noodle shape it's it's like new i don't think they invented it but no i know i just want to remember the name i think the thought process is it like holds the sauce google new noodle you'll actually find it google likes it new pasta invented lauren but they whoever invented the thought is it takes the best aspects of every other noodle and puts them together so it like holds sauce the same way the best noodle does that hold sauce but it like has a fun squiggly dude it's just dank yeah so good so fluffy pasta the sauce stays in the bowl this like traps the sauce inside no

like actually insane it looks like little caterpillars that was my only problem no no it doesn't when it's yeah that's exactly what it looks like oh it's like a brain seriously insane yeah no oh no no you're wrong oh my gosh it's really really good yeah so that was great what else did i do this weekend so that's radiator pasta radiator that's like a what we used that's the only thing we could eat growing up radiator pasta yeah it's the only way to heat it yeah yeah it's like in the i heard tupac said that when the heat went out they would just turn the oven on and then everyone would sleep by the oven but my question is yeah if the heat went out how does the oven still work like if they cut off your power because the oven is

electric electric so you can pay the electric bill but not the yeah i got you i i i thought tupac said california love oh my god should we roadmap it up now i'm so hungry hungry um what else is going on we have a party tomorrow that no one no one seems to be able to friday beers actually a bunch of people are going to explain no no i everyone i think we are going but i'm saying no one no one can explain to me like what like we've been doing these lately where the some of the girls of the company like plan these events but i don't know what i don't know what they're for other than just like are they just for there to have fun two friends is gonna be playing an unreleased big booty mix come on and it's in a diner those guys are really nice

i've only met him a handful i've only met him like once or twice but they were both very nice yeah i i um yeah i think it'll be fun i'm i think it'll be all right but apparently it's it's uh there's no there's no liquor wine and beer only what do you like there's beer though yeah wine and beer yeah we're guys that's all we need actually wine i like wine drinks fun i'm sipping on a pinot grigio like usual oh also i'm hype when i was looking for the pitches in the am i the asshole to read for today the google forms why did i not do this earlier makes my job so much easier it's been telling you to do it for like years i don't remember her name if you're listening thank you for the final where is it hayley googling form yeah where is the where is

the uh form where do they go well it's a i i put the how do people get to the form it's like i've been linking them in the youtube videos and on our instagram and on our youtube channel like you can i and i and they're like little i put them in a highlight did you like that that i did that yeah i put them in highlights on our instagram uh for submitting am i the asshole and pitches so thank you guys should we get into the roadmap let's do it all right hit me we got a lovely lovely episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches then we're gonna do everyone's favorite segment am i the asshole followed by this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey i said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your

house and he rocks in your yard rocks there's rocks in my yard my yard and then we were gonna do teach me something and then one of my favorite drafts ideas that we've ever done straight from the mind of will angus thank you will we're gonna do uh kim jong-un rumors that don't exist followed by ways to say you pooped your pants and then we're gonna do rusty's song of the day spotify uh reached out to page yesterday and said they're gonna verify my playlist oh that's so i don't know what that means wait whoa but kind of kind of a big deal that's huge that is cool um can i use the restroom before we get into it guys buying cologne freaking sucks it stinks but drive driving to the mall getting sprayed

in the face and spending a fortune is just the worst so meet guy fox all right it was started by two best friends that are making it easy to smell amazing their starter kit you get to sample their best fragrances first and then choose your favorite later that's actually been a game changer because i've tried to order cologne online before and you kind of just got to go by the reviews so you don't actually know what it tastes like or smells like these are all the different flavors so willie and i willie and i when we got this the first time someone came into our office it was clear we had tested them all personally i go with the hefe but i think will is kind of a tyler man yeah it reminds me of my friend tyler he is so tall and it smells delicious well that is actually

really good yeah i haven't tried the tyler before that's why guys since the dudes from guy fox are Our playmates, they're giving you $10 off your first purchase. Head to GuyFox.com slash PlayDate and use code BEERS for free shipping and $10 off your purchase for a limited time. Get more compliments, smell unbelievable, and spend less with our boys over at GuyFox. As you all know by now, we've teamed up with BetMGM this season. We'll be using BetMGM lines to make all our picks, and we'll have special offers for our listeners each week.

If you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code PLAYDATE and you will get up to a $1,500 first bet offer on your first wager with BetMGM. Willie, tell them how it works, brother. Step one, download the BetMGM app and sign up using bonus code PLAYDATE. Step two, deposit at least $10 and place your first wager on any game. Step three, you will receive up to $1,500 in bonus bets if your bet loses. Just make sure you use bonus code PLAYDATE when you sign up. Looking at you, Puerto Rico.

Don't forget, if you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, Use bonus code PLAYDATE and get your $1,500 first bet offer today. Let's get back into the episode. Let's family. New from Nespresso. Blend wellness into your coffee routine with the Coffee Plus range. Infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins.

Like Coffee Plus B12 to help support immune function. And Coffee Plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose Ginseng Delight. Our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com. we tell her that we got carl anthony towns yeah we saw that's our buddy yeah

you guys are acting weird i know you're about to pull some we're not pulling any bullshit we're not okay pitches oh that reminds me though i do want to uh say one other thing about the baseball game last night yeah i was sitting one section over from stewie griffin really yeah that's crazy you're not gonna family guy me i know who that is that's the that's the dog you family got yourself no that's brian stewie's the baby the british baby right blew that british baby yeah isn't he british speaking of british babies i wish i was a british baby i really want wish i was a british baby oh speaking of british babies sorry what's up that was no it's okay is carl gonna come to the thing tomorrow he said he can't

anymore it's annoying carl's not a real person carl anthony towns oh yeah wait we already family yeah i thought that was gonna be like double i thought that was gonna be like a b uh you i think you met carl no at my barbecue or my not bar i guess you weren't at the barbecue were you no yes she was the derby no he's lily's friend yeah carl anthony towns this is not real carl anthony towns i don't know who that is he works with tj mcconnell yeah these aren't real people he's pulp is linkedin i guarantee we're friends on linkedin carl anthony towns get carl anthony towns you idiot you fell right into that he works with tj mcconnell is that one of his teammates tj mcconnell he's on the pacers like out of he'd be at a rival firm

okay all right ready pitches first pitch is from oh this is actually a double a double too quickly we would have gotten her we had waited oh we totally just got her what are you talking about she she didn't she said that's not a real people but yeah we did get her okay this is from ryan and taylor so it's a it's a is that allowed double trouble yeah i guess apparently hi paulie d mike the situation and snooki paulie d snooki mike the situation what is the worst part about knowing exactly the type of person you're looking for but dating apps suck wait say it again what is the worst part about knowing exactly the type of person you're looking for but dating apps suck there's no busty option yeah i was about to say there's no like filter for

like uh busty petite cloudy women we've all been there you meet someone briefly follow an influencer or see a celebrity celebrity interview and think wow i wish i could date someone like them but where would you even begin there's no filter on dating apps for similar vibe to wilden ellen that's where this platform comes in doppledate is the world's first dating date database that lets you search for singles based on the people you wish you could date think of it like a matchmaking search engine you start by building a profile with your personality values and interests then ai maps your traits to well-known public figures influencers or internet personalities once profiles are in the system you can search for matches similar to anyone want someone who's got the comedic

charm of will denellan the liberal version of morgan wallen or a goodwill hunting version of matt damon just type it in the algorithm connects wait wait wait wait wait what is it too much to ask for maybe just something version of rusty yeah i mean she said matt damon which is like your your your recent upgrade in hotness is becoming a problem for our friendship it's getting it's i'm growing a little tired of it i'm growing a little tired of it my dm my dms are mostly people trying to get to you that can't be true it's i'll put like three examples right here it's infuriating all my dumbs are dumbs all my dms are people trying to get to you too really yeah they'll be like please couldn't please put it'll be girls being like please

put in a good word for me i'm like okay i'm flattered i'm i'm whatever the opposite of you have a girl i know but i still want to feel wanted i may have like a you also talk about your girlfriend that's definitely why okay i'm never talking about my girlfriend again please please i'm not gonna do anything about it but i just want people i want to know that people want to bone me okay well that's what grosses you out all right let me read the last sentence the algorithm connects you with real with the last The algorithm connects you with a guy where you can pretend as well while he's, like, boning you.

Jesus fucking Christ. Okay, I'm sorry. What's their names again? Ryan and Taylor. Ryan and Taylor. I'm so sorry. I just, um... On your next pitch, maybe just...

Say, like... Whoa. Why would you do that? I'm not on purpose. I just couldn't believe you didn't... Oh, did I ever show you... Sorry, last thing. That reminds me.

One time I... You remember when bottle flipping was a thing? Yeah, I was loving it. my friend bottle flip well my friend nikki martin bottle flipped a half gallon or a half full gallon of milk and it landed on its axis diagonally we'll put we'll put the video right here it's fucking crazy sick continue lauren the algorithm connects you with real available people who align with that personality type people you'd likely never cross paths with otherwise i i all jokes aside i think that actually is fantastic how would you yeah when it when you sign up does it like

ask you for people you've been compared to uh i guess we're high we can just figure that out i think it's yeah because you just have a bunch of guys being like i give i give timothy chalamet shack people say i give shack i give shack i think i'm serving shack right now okay lauren sorry i was coughing just a second lauren and will let's do a let's do a thought exercise this is this uh app is now available it's a new feature on hinge you know how you make a thought exercise sorry go uh wait dude tell me how do you make a thought exercise no i'm not gonna finish it would be disrespectful who who will start with lauren lauren who would you plug in you want someone who's giving who oh man can't think of anybody benson boone

oh i don't like benson i don't either i don't know i feel kind of bad that there's some thing going on that people don't like him but well i was just i felt this privately for a while and i kept my mouth shut and then someone someone finally said it and everyone else started piling on the memes are really funny unfortunately but if i ever meet you benson benson if you're listening would you kiss him no he has a girlfriend oh okay he's single and he's like lauren i must have you i think he's american okay he's like lauren i must have you i'd say i'm flattered but no thank you boone uh me and ava are like i don't know we we just think he's funny okay who who willie who would you yeah i don't know want someone similar to gracie abrams

yeah that's probably you that's actually a good lauren i would also probably be you'd want a boy version of gracie abrams like a dainty little fairy man yeah i want abs i want gracie i don't need abs i want to kiss her what do you say i want to kiss gracie abrams i'm sure you're going to at some point maybe like we actually oh i know i know leo woodle who did oh yeah pull him up yeah hot hot guy hot british you've seen white lotus right i'm just kidding he's beautiful and he's just he's got those like sexy sleepy you know what i can't get over though is how like manipulative his character is in white lotus makes it hard for me to like trust him anymore okay well maybe i need to see one day i've seen a few it's such a good show it's a show

right it's very devastating um yeah but it's great who else oh uh what's his name uh okay the the humor of like i want nick call tim robinson's humor but then i don't think yeah i was about to say i don't think no i don't think i don't think you would like that but those are those are characters we had a guy in here we had a guy in here who had tim robinson's humor and you know you weren't no he didn't like jump his bones no that's also like not unless you mean angus yeah i'm on angus no um hot dog yeah lauren wants a guy that goes what the fuck i want to jack off you know what i mean but but then but then he's super hot british who's constantly about to jack

off i don't know i love british man i want i love an accent oh girl i would like a little i know girl we know i would like a like a spanish baddie nice i can see that for you oh there was a spanish guy or girl we were pretty drunk at the last bar it was a girl a girl and uh i was not drunk enough to not know whether that was a guy or a girl no no i i was i was just having i don't i just remember you speaking spanish i don't even remember who was like why you started doing it but she was she was like uh that she was from spain and will went into it you were like will will speak spanish to her speak spanish to her and there's what my mom always does there was a there was an underwear sized hole in the floor her panties dropped so

the one time my mom this used to drive me crazy like when i first got back from spain like she would choose so any opportunity to be like speak spanish like oh my son speaks spanish yeah and one time she did an italian restaurant and i was like mom what the hell you're at panda express she's like do it do it it's a romance language i'm sure you could get you could they can understand you i was like i yeah that's funny uh i love that that's one of my that's one of my favorite pitches we've gotten yeah even though i was left out of it you know even though i was left out we can't all be included not everyone's gonna like us not everyone is gonna want us what i would prefer if they did all right if you're if you're a playmate and you don't

and you don't want at minimum one of us comment i bet i bet every single playmate wants to bang one of the two of you i think 80 of playmates are men yeah oh one of the two of us that's what i meant once i would say most playmates probably feel something when they see lauren or will and then they feel something when they see me and it's disdain and they wish i wasn't here dude you got a girlfriend i can't get a girlfriend and then be begging for people to want you yeah i'm not begging for people just begged you just begged everyone all of our i asked nicely for just one playmate to want me you know yeah i have no sympathy because i wish

i had a girlfriend so i don't okay i can't like this is not this is a comment this is a comment from my girlfriend if she's listening if this feature existed on dating apps and we broke up i would just look for people like you oh i feel like that if anything that's not sweet that's kind of scary what that was really sweet that's sweet like breaking up with your girlfriend and being like i need to find i need to replace i mean i mean i guess that would be if she broke up with you i don't yeah oh breaking up with her and then just looking for a carbon copy yeah that would be the grim part maybe but all right thank you ryan and taylor thank you next pitch is from oh wait uh mo kelly mo kelly mo kelly mo problems i feel like mo kelly's been around for a while

Oh, wait, have we said, because we both said that at the same time. I think we've, I think there is another planet episode where Mo Kelly submitted something and the exact same thing just happened. If someone wants to go find that, let me know. I would be shocked if we've ever repeated ourselves, but it's possible. Someone commented on the last episode and goes, I hope, I hope Rusty tells his parents scuba story for the fifth time. Okay.

How do we not notice? That one I said, oh yeah, I know this one. and i just kept going most of the stories i remember that you got but i don't want to like shut you down so i just let it happen like the greenville one i'm now realizing i think we've heard that before too we've never heard that no i asked we've never i've never heard that you i said we have i think i said we had yeah we hadn't i think if we kept a running tally of who repeats themselves it's like you've done it like a handful of times i've done it a hundred and i think i've done it a lot too okay all right what's up ferris cameron and sloan cameron sloan no

i want to be strong truant what's the worst part about living by yourself i think we should reverse engineer this what's the best part about living with roommates and then the lack thereof of that would that's way too much to think about loneliness no the best the the best part about living with roommates is why are we doing that loneliness yeah probably yeah that's right i don't know who's fairest but they said you're ferris no i'm not that's right ferris you're ferris i'm sloan he's cameron he's got a red wings hat i got a nice body lauren's got charisma yeah and lauren yeah and lauren's got a hot girlfriend that's right no one is home to tuck you in you can cook for

one talk to your plans even gaslight yourself into thinking you're fine but when it's bedtime you're out here raw dogging sleep without the feeling of warmth and love how sad well with hug bug it's not just a blanket it's an experience a hug a weighted gesture made when that he was like pretty neutral and then you had a hug bug you went it's a weighted gesture of care a flat magnetic strip goes underneath you and the matching blanket has hidden magnets sewn into its edges you clip a small light attachment to your pjs and boom as you lie down the blanket It gently snaps into place around you like a bedtime burrito. Snug, secure, tucked like a child with a 401k.

No more kicking the sides. I just want to say, as I know a bedtime burrito sounds good, way better to just eat it in the kitchen before bed. From experience. But carry on. No more kicking the sides awkwardly or flailing like you're fighting off a ghost. You get perfect symmetry, pressure in all the right places, and best of all the emotional illusion that someone gives a damn whether you're single

chronically cold or just into blankets with commitment issues the hug bug blanket is for you love you guys so much thank you for making my weeks twice as awesome with the double episode releases i love you too i love it uh yeah that was great my mom used to make me into a burrito when i was sick she would uh put a blanket down on the couch i would lay down and she would fold the corners and then she would lay a heavier one on top and tuck it in very down i was uh which is very cute what'd you say very dumb very oh burrito i thought you said very dumb that's what i heard when it was very cute when i was a kid and then when i was like a senior in high school staying home i would still ask for it and she was like okay you guys ever wrap uh your siblings up into

a blanket you'd have them lay down on a huge blanket and then you'd roll them up into a i do that to myself and then you get super claustrophobic when flan's being uh when flan's on my last nerve i i roll the one side under me and then i just roll until all the comfort is around me and she has nothing that's what my brother does naturally anytime we sleep together he sleep in the same bed uh he always goes torpedo mode and i wake up completely blanketless yeah have you learned this family is on the brink of civil war mob land the hit original series is now streaming on paramount plus we are the harrigans don't know the net and google us from the underworld of guy richie do you want to step up the ladder i won't call that dead starring tom hardy pierce brosnan

and helen mirren do i have to do everything myself mob land new season is now streaming on paramount plus pull up uh automatic baby patter magnet thing wait there's a thing like this for babies to automatic baby patter like like magnet thing i thought you're saying powder weird so go to the go to automatic yes so this thing wraps around them and then that arm oh my god them on the back it prevents them from rolling over and like suffocating i need this but it keeps them asleep because the arm is patting them so it they think someone's there can everyone shut up um that's the cutest thing i've ever seen automatic baby craziest moments

google top five quagmire moments guys sexiest crazy guys there's pastries in the main area sorry we had to go eat cookie podcast where were we pitches you're gonna google automatic did i not read the second one no you did oh baby blanket automatic baby craziest moments automatic babe lauren who pitched the burrito mo kelly mo kelly mo problems thank you mo kelly i think that one's money try not to laugh hilarious i feel like i don't i feel like i don't really have this problem i think this is not the worst part about living alone have you lived alone for the last two years i lived in a studio before i lived with mia you look like you're about to throw up

what and i loved it but i yeah but like i feel like i wanted people to talk to scott doesn't snuggle me no but i don't know i don't know if i need that no i love having someone to i love having my little guy my move is uh guys is pulled well jerry jerry doesn't like watch tv with us at night like scott what does he do he's with his girlfriend a lot or he likes to read in his room i mean like we're obviously very good friends it's just like scott and i every night sit we have our spots on the couch so we sit in every night he's got the better spot that's mia bro mia always sits in the corner at the one that has the the leg and then i just whoever gets there

first because it's my we've got we've carved out our own spots now that's so funny we're the exact same way but i tell her it's fine because i can't sit still i'm like constantly getting up and like doing stuff yes she like plants herself in her spot i pee so much and get i'm not peeing i'm just like walking around like doing things we just sit wherever there's an open spot oh yeah no we've got we've got very designated spots designated blankets the only time we move is if one of us wants to eat because there's a the coffee table can't reach the l part of the couch uh there's an l part of the couch and a w part of the couch i have the l part of my couch and you have the l no he has i have like the but yeah he's in the corner but it's a w part of the couch

same yeah um he's gone all week i might kill myself don't okay oh how'd we solve that uh he's gone all week yeah don't have beers this weekend yeah maybe i'm gonna on thursday are you coming to the thing on thursday lauren has kind of started to convince me i think i'm gonna go to this weekend well i just haven't been in town for all of may we were home for like four days yeah and so i feel like i've been neglecting some friends so i'm gonna try and spread the wealth and have beers with everyone i'm gonna try to i'm going to uh sorry hide from everyone all right can i pitch you guys something what's a burger no i've already been done before yeah oh oh i forgot to you're a big you're a big uh what's that what's that burger you

like that has cheese in the middle oh i don't like it it ruined my life minnesota one juicy lucy yeah what wait so did you eat it too fast and it squirted on you no oh how'd it ruin your life it just like fucked up my tummy for like days so we're going back to minnesota this summer and flan's very excited she was like you got there's this thing called the juicy lucy it was like very excited to tell me about it but i had already heard about it through will last from the past and uh it was like an og so long ago oh really yeah probably i think the episode's called like juicy lucy ruined my life wait so what which because two places claim to have invented it where did we went to matt's bar i believe that's the one she says is the real one as well but she said

that people like have burned their face because if you bite it too quickly yeah the cheese squirts out of you dude that looks so that looks so dank oh dude it was good it was delicious when i was eating it don't get me wrong it just i forget what i'd have to re-watch the episode but i i was i remember being particularly devastated it looks kind of it looks kind of uh is there rice there's rice on this one the vibes like in that place are awesome though it's like the most it's like a cool midwestern dive bar it looks a little uh it looks like a little gross no it's good okay you ever had a golden light or what is it called uh yeah we got into a huge it was like mcglobe golden you and i had like a kind of a blowout fight about this because you

were saying oh yeah you can only get them there and i was trying to tell you i'd had them in florida i think you're thinking something else i had had a mcglobe golden something but i guess there's one that is specific to yeah uh all right what's the worst part about really loving building legos and a friend or significant other wants to build with you these can't really do it with two people i've had this problem before it's like i think you got they got to pick out the pieces and then you assemble or vice versa that's like kind of a common method is like legos are not a they're not a two-person i think to the to the layman it's like well why don't you just build two different things and then it's it's pretty much impossible because you're building on top of other

stuff yeah this is uh let's what should i call this this is the the beam bit beam ends it's a it's it is a needed a name it's a uh an alternative instruction manual okay that is for two people so it can tell you like because oftentimes there are two things that will get built separately and then you'll connect them later it will give each person a thing to do so that your girlfriend isn't just sorting the legos which is the boring part and then you build it i love that sold uh what is the worst part about being a baseball game and thinking you're gonna get a home run hit right to you it never happens you're scared you're not gonna catch it yeah but you can't show up with a glove yeah 25 yeah almost uh this is the you're 20 you're saying that like the listener yeah the

come on you're 25 almost this is the glove hat picture a baseball cap but the inside looks like the dune popcorn bucket it's like a why did you like that i just don't i don't know the dune popcorn bucket like an alien dude popcorn kind of looks like dean's blue hole yeah oh that's ew what yeah i know guys that we're going willy let's just say willy i fucked willy went a couple times yeah just to get more buckets wait what so imagine that on the inside of the hat so if you need if you balls coming your way you hold this out it goes and it lands right in it oh i thought it was going to be like you slide your hand into the thing and then the outside could form into a glove no that would never work okay that doesn't make any sense i love this because i whenever

we're in like foul ball territory it's like everyone wants everyone wants everyone wants a ball hit to them but it's like in practice that is it takes a lot of the leisure out of the game because you're just worried about a line drive coming i was where i was we were just past foul pull so it would have like it would have been a home run ball and in the front row so i was like oh this is like primo yeah and uh you're also can we say you were with the lady that adds some pressure well i already had planned and i would get catching go all right should we do this sky rocks or should we do am i the asshole let's do am i the asshole let's do am i the asshole are me is my is this my asshole welcome back to is this my asshole this is a really zoomed

picture it's the dune popcorn is this is this the we're welcome back to dune popcorn dean's blue hole or my hole all right dean did what we are going to do all right they didn't give a name well they said he was a fake name so very i forgot emma that like we haven't had one that has to be anonymous in a while berry this is betty berry berry so this was senior year at the university of georgia my mechanical engineering lab was one of the required courses for graduating so naturally i wanted to do well in the class the class was composed of three labs each with an in-class part and a report my team was four people and one kid in particular would only show up to to the in-class part and not do the report which was 70 of the grade after the first lab

me and the other two kids that did the report talked about everything and decided to just let it be and maybe he was having a tough week or something second lab came and the same thing happened same outcome as well after the third in class part we talked to the kid and told him he needed to do his part on the final report he then ghosted us for two weeks and an hour before the report was due he hit us with a is it good to submit that was our final straw so we sat down with the ta and explained everything and she ended up failing him am i slash are we the assholes for making him fail required class a semester before graduation yeah are you the asshole i'm saying yes oh no i don't think so at all i because i've been that kid before and i know exactly what's going

through his head his his thought process is like fuck it they're just gonna do everything for me obviously but like at some point you need to learn that that's that that's not a good way to go about life i agree i think completely inconsiderate to those people and he didn't learn anything it's also mechanical engineering so like do you want people that are building our buildings to just have skipped 70 of the class yeah i guess my thing is like have that conversation with the ta earlier yeah so that they can talk to him and are aware of it if the work's already done it's just like all right whatever you're gonna graduate college like i'm not gonna fuck over your ability to graduate college i think if he was like a business guy or like a like a normal like a degree

that didn't require yeah yeah knowledge that affects us like he was he's a mechanical engineer those people need to know you're definitely not the asshole but i think he's the asshole yeah he's definitely being an asshole but i also think it's like if the work's already done just like i think it was an asshole move to like say something after the fact like also they could have talked to him and been like yo i mean yeah it's done but like come on dude so they only saw him three they only because so the first time they gave him a pass the second time he didn't show up and so they couldn't tell him until the third and final thing yeah i don't know that's the only time they could have told him yeah i guess it says they didn't like text him after

the third and class part we said they go he ghosted them and they told the kid that he needed to do his part and then he ghosted them for two weeks an hour before the report was i think they should have just talked to the ta earlier and been like yo this guy needs to be in a different group or something or like yeah yeah talk to this guy yeah yeah isn't it crazy but i agree that you're definitely okay you're definitely not the asshole but i do think it's like if you're at the end like i feel like i had there were group projects where people didn't do shit and i was always just like whatever yeah it sucks but it sucks you know like it's gonna bite come back to bite you later like i uh i don't think it's gonna come back to bite him i think he probably got like a good

or he would have gotten just like a good job and been fine and then he would never have learned this lesson you'd be a bad guy i also think it's funny that in college you can rationalize like taking that risk like now that our brains have developed a little more like that's 70 percent of your grade you would never be like well maybe it'll work out yeah that is insane all right not a certified not the asshole but maybe it could have handled it yeah yeah differently toward drafting i'll do this guy rocks yeah yeah okay this this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey i said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard all right here you go laureen well you took your phone case off it fell looks so fresh

which this is a guy named mudslide03 and he i've been seeing him a little bit lately he has been he does like stand-up bits so let's just see what he's got to say first impression he looks very kind yeah people always say you can't take your money with you do we know that have any of you gone up there and checked. I'm throwing every penny I got in my coffin just in case. I'm not getting up there and finding out there's a cover charge and I'm begging in the streets to get in. I'm going to have a fat stack of cash. I'm going to be like, God's bestie up there. God's going to be like, hey, can you float me a few bucks? Like, sure, no problem, God. It's 30% interest, buddy. God's going to be like, what are you, American Express? Sorry, MX, guess I'm not getting that sponsorship.

People on earth are going to be like, they used to say, you get more money than God. It's going He's like, you want more money than Ed up there. Thanks for watching, folks. Have a good time. Is that a Boston accent? What is that accent? Kind of killed it. Wait, and great smile.

I love his energy. I mean, that's awesome. He's clearly practicing for normal stand-up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, thanks so much, guys. I had a great time. Yeah, yeah. I guess I'm not getting that AMX sponsorship.

Have more money than Ed up there. Oh, this is a sweet comment. Actually, really good material. Just need to work on the pacing. Yeah, he was moving a little quick. Yeah, I agree. TC Tuggers. Aw.

Wait, that's funny. Yeah, I love him. He rocks. That's Mudslide 3. Mudslide. I can't even imagine what Mudslide 4 is going to be like. Mudslide 03. All right, who do we have here, Will?

This is the only 60s guy. The only one? That's left, yeah. I'm the only 60s guy in the world. I'm Jump. Oh! Oh! I'm the only 60s guy in the world.

I'm Jump. He's the only 60s guy in the whole world. Maybe I could be obsessed with this. I'm Jump. I'm Jump. It's the noises you hear from Will's room when he has a girl over. Amen. Oh, man.

Oh, my God. Hooking up with a girl and yelling, I'm the only... Tell me I'm the only 60s guy. I'm the only 60s guy in the world. I jump. All right, teach me something, will it? I think it's my favorite. This guy rocks in a while.

Can we play it one more time? Yeah. I saw this on the boat. I'm the only 60s guy in the world. I'm jump. I'm the only 60s guy in the world I'm Jump Ew, ew, ew, don't do that

My dad used to, when I was little, he'd say, what does a rattlesnake say? You know, he'd go You don't like that? No I liked it Sorry i'm i'm the only i'm the only 60s guy in the world uh have you have you why that like shouldn't be that funny and it's can you play another one of this

go down i'm worried it's gonna ruin it yeah maybe go the middle one go the middle one i'm the only 60s guy in the world today i wanted just to say hello to um um flora he threw that comb 40 feet behind him directly back into his room yeah that's kind of sick like land you got windows open watch it went through or we don't yeah uh can you just go back to the old one now no i agree i agree you have to watch i'm the only 60s guy in the world i'm jump all right that's awesome we're good we're back all right we all know about the greenland shark right yeah yeah it's not like one that they lived like 500 years old let's say they've been they've been around for like every major war like ancient yeah yeah did you know they don't reach sexual

maturity until 150 like they don't like start mating until they're 150 years old jesus christ and then apparently i can't remember what it is but when when the when they're pregnant they're pregnant for like 12 years like every for some reason everything just moves so slow takes like a year is that crazy going to the bathroom takes 50 days that's horrible that weird yeah being pregnant for 12 years would be exhausting yeah that sucks i've been pregnant for 12 years i'm gonna be praying i want to have kids but being pregnant sounds really really scary yeah i think it is scary but i think you'll get over that uh uruguay you've heard of it of course i guess they were trying to like crack down on uh like ob like rising obesity rates in the country

so they made it illegal to have salt or ketchup or mayonnaise out on the table at a restaurant you have to ask for it yeah that's interesting i feel like that's i don't think they totally understand uh yeah i mean where the majority of your calories are coming from mine's mostly from salt on tables at restaurants but i don't know if that's the same for everyone totally luis suarez is like what luis suarez he's a soccer player what about him i couldn't think of a line uh all right willie do you want to start with uh kim jong-un rumors that don't exist or ways to say you pooped your pants I would like to start with Kim Jong-un rumors that don't exist.

These are Kim Jong-un rumors that don't exist. When he packs a PB&J, it... When he packs a PBJ... When he packs a PB&J in his lunchbox, it never gets soggy. Nice. Yeah. Did you know he got a woman pregnant just by sexting her? Wow.

Did you know he hit a home run in his first MLB at-bat? it only rains where he is if he already had plans to curl up with a nice book uh he smells so good that deodorant would make it worse um when he gets head it feels better for the girl when he leaves the beach he's not sandy at all when he gets high snacks want him he can't play yahtzee because he just gets yahtzee every time and there's only two spots for yahtzee right uh diseases get vaccinated so that he doesn't infect them he dunked on dennis rodman um these remind me of like that uh joseki's commercial yeah he is the most interesting man in the world uh when he adopts a kid their dna mutates to match his

kids adopt him yeah he slept with a thousand men each one gayer than the last he fasted for a week and gained a hundred pounds of lean muscle he taught david blaine everything he knows and his hot pockets are always the perfect temperature that's that's fucking insane i guess you'd be president all right should we do uh way it's like what he's a dictator lauren's like what that's a fucking dictator i drew you ways to say you pooped your pants no lauren's probably like uh dictator as president that's already happened or lauren's like ways to poop your pants uh can i need one quick please ways to say okay these are ways to say you pooped your pants i pooped my pants start with that remember that from no i'm not remember

that from diary of a wimpy kid yeah oh the indian kid yeah i pooped my pants i actually don't even know if that's a line i feel like i've read them all cover i don't know fregley touch touching my cheese what no that did not happen rowley your arms broken or no uh mama what is it zoey mama zoey mama where the hell is rodrick rule all right what are rodrick's rules what's rodrick's rule i'm gonna play beer pong in someone's house and they're playing rodrick's rules all right i fertilized my cotton loaded diaper this funny i just realized in the context of this draft i fertilized my car uh the levees have broken i just made an all brown jackson

pollock painting i've stormed the crapital that's my favorite uh uh i just ran a smear campaign on myself i got too loose this one's this one's a bit of a thinker i'm sitting on my stool i like that my pants you didn't like that that's great i looked over and you went what my pants are acting up again i'm sitting shitty i'm sitting shitty right now that's good i've let you down i'm a pound lighter and a whole lot stinkier how it makes it sound like fun yeah i made you a snack pack all right who's ready for rusty's song of the day make it a song about the weather give me some dude does it need to be about the weather no no it's fine you can do whatever you

want uh i'm going the city of new orleans by arlo guthrie what did you say you already did this one no oh it's so good i i have a i have a special place for my heart a special place for my heart a special place in my heart for new orleans i think it's a very fun vibe there and when i listen to it i think about that city and uh it makes me think about going on a road trip going on a train trip something fun uh i hope you guys jam out to it and that you like it it was an alice's restaurant no our little guthrie song we play every thanksgiving nice in my house yeah all right what should they comment willie uh comment the first movie you've ever

heard of. Remember watching? The first movie you remember watching. Do you guys know? Yeah, what was that one that's the mice on a ship? Napoleon Dynamite. I think mine's High School Musical. Google Pirates Ahoy. Animated mice

ship movie. An American Tale. Is that what it's called? Google American Tale. American Tale. Can you Google Pirates Ahoy? You had American Tail. That's the first movie I remember watching. Now can you Google Pirates Ahoy?

What? Oh, it's a real thing. That was my favorite book growing up. Nice. Lauren, Google Where the Wild Things Are. Oh my gosh, that book. Why is Binder screaming? When's she not screaming?

All right. We love you guys. Have a great rest of your Monday. Google Monday. have a great rest of your tuesday and then we will see you guys bright and early on wednesday love you love you