Will & Rusty's Playdate - we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley

Episode Date: May 7, 2025

Stand up comedian and host of Disgraceful, Grace O’Malley, joins Will and Rusty to talk about bombing in stand up comedy, how many counties are in New Jersey, and causing coworkers to relapse. They also break down how they got kicked out of a bar in Boston and how Willy ended up covered in eggs. Plus, they draft Boston suburbs that don’t exist and sayings that don’t exist. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepodSHOP OUR MERCH: https://almostfriday.shop/collections/playdate-podRUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg FOLLOW GRACE O’MALLEY: https://www.instagram.com/gracekomalley/ https://www.tiktok.com/@gracekomalley?lang=enWATCH DISGRACEFUL: https://www.youtube.com/@DisgracefulTheShow https://open.spotify.com/show/3iACHRrIx5nAesaK6jDiCd?si=3c1cd139bf94490aGO SEE GRACE ON TOUR: https://laylo.com/laylo-gomalley/m/ggetthemtix?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaY3MyekXZH4FzPkOKMx34oxvyrrVzKVcsNLB1s_GaT7HUuU9oOxVOz-ZJc_aem_qHLEVSvj9Ie9Iak7DhLq6A 00:00 Intro00:34 Grace’s Voice Memo to Rusty2:16 Rusty’s Roommate3:56 Bombing in Stand Up11:02 Top 20 Pod14:12 Aye I’m From Jersey15:15 Grace Lost A Guest17:28 Causing My Coworkers to Relapse19:00 Playdate’s #1 Fan21:20 Will Has a Story27:07 Roadmap28:59 Getting Kicked Out of the Bar33:23 Other Grace O’Malleys35:36 Pitches54:17 Will’s Sex Story1:02:06 Good Hang Name or Bad Hang Name1:02:58 Teach Me Something1:09:00 This Guy Rocks1:16:02 Boston Suburbs That Don’t Exist1:18:10 Sayings That Don’t Exist1:21:03 Rusty’s Song of the Day #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

episode 103 we have a very very very very special guest today our good friend grace o'malley hey guys grace thanks for coming on thank you so much for having me grace is a comedian grace has podcasts a woman of many talents thank you very much you and i've been trying to get this going for a little bit a couple years now and we finally did it uh my last text to you was if you're ever in la please come on my pod and you uh didn't respond oh but i think that's because my last text to you was um a voice memo of something bizarre oh yeah can we talk about that yeah yeah yeah i remember that on the car right here i one of our i was reading our i only went up like a thing but i texted you at like two in

the morning call me lady and you didn't you didn't you didn't call me so it's probably better off because when it's two o'clock here right five o'clock my time and right that's it that's a grace you don't want to you don't want to know about her at all you and i've been playing phone tag for a while now yeah so what was the story you were you were at a live show i was doing a lot i actually don't even fully remember i was at a live show and one of the things was like there was a question i was asked but i don't know what prompted let me just see what it says first like who's the biggest idiot you know i think it was i don't it was i said it was crazy right it was pretty i don't remember so in your favor i don't you could make up a

completely new story if you'd like okay because yours yours has expired right i believe so do You still have it? I'm pretty sure I heard it. I think I remember what it was. I'm not going to say it. I don't want to say it either, but I brought it up. So here we go. Are you going to hurt my feelings?

No, no, it's flattering. It's flattering. Yeah, it's something. I don't know. This is a voice. Is this going to make her uncomfortable? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Cool. Probably both of you guys. Let's get it going. Probably your girlfriend, too. Oh, awesome. Oh, yeah. I don't have it anymore.

Bang. All right. Sorry, Flanny. Yeah, sorry, guys. That's a blue ball for you. yeah it's a story for never day yeah it's uh gone to the it's gone i had a thing that i had a thing yesterday that made me laugh i was we i got home uh and my roommate ty was sitting uh sitting at the dinner table what's ty's vibe ty's he's he's he's a cool guy they were just at stage

jail he's in jail he is in jail he is he's uh you find out i the like the cheapest apartment and i can find is like in a jail the only one he can you can leave and go it's like hostile jail it's very cool very chill vibes but he was wearing a hulu track suit we'll put a picture of it right here and that begs the question like there's something very funny about he's not like what do you like to watch and he's like he doesn't say a show he just is a big fan of hulu yeah he just loves his shirt he loves it he's like he's a huge fan of the streaming service they got live sports now too doesn't necessarily care what's on it um but i just thought that was weird like where do you even get a hulu do you own does he does he work for the arts oh he works in music okay but

like hulu's trying to tap into that music realm songs about hulu all right let's write a song about hulu i mean i feel like we could writing music is so easy one of my pitches for draft ideas to willie was like oh dude we should do because we do like things that don't exist or whatever and i was like we should do stand-up jokes that don't exist and willie was like that means that you still have to write it's writing five good jokes you're just doing them they would exist we've gotten way too confident that like we're really good at coming up with things that don't exist but like you can push it too far where it's like that's just a that's just another job that we are not good at like making making a show that doesn't exist well now you're just

we've done we've done that many times fleshed out scripts for films how did you get into stand-up I did, like, open mics on the side of the road in 2020. On the side of the road? New York City, baby. Cars were, like, flying past you. Like, come on! It was, like, in those little huts that they had. Like, do you remember those?

Like, an interstate thing? They would have, like, little, like... Like, during COVID, you mean? Yeah, COVID. Yeah. Like, a yurt? I thought you meant, like, where it, like, scans your E-ZPass. You're like, it'll be $1.50 or...

Yeah, I was telling jokes in a toll booth. Or you can listen to one of my killer jokes. That worked in a toll booth. i just tried it out for each passenger so they'd set up huts on the side of the road yeah and so like it was like where you would like have dinner so like it would like be yeah oh like in a city i was picturing like a like an interstate yeah no no yeah i'm anti those things oh i think covid's gone you should give us the parking spots back because now that's a horrible take every restaurant in la just takes up five parking spots out on the street for like cool

outdoor seating we don't drive what about cool outdoor in new york we don't drive so oh you're outnumbered now i'm fine with that oh another bar or another ex bar current barstool employee i have a great memory me you and diego sat at an outdoor mexican spot oh yeah oh yeah yeah he's fantastic i was supposed to meet up with you guys that day yes yeah he's fantastic also i probably shouldn't but okay so i'm back in if it's in new york city you can have them okay if you're in like portland maine i am from maine and all the parking's gone now because every restaurant is outside every restaurant's 60 outside now what do you want to get rid of the bike paths next

what happened to sporting local i hate bikers i think if you're a local business and you still have one of those covet things outside i you're greedy i'm gonna come in with a bag of my own hair and nails and sprinkle it in the food and say that it was from one of the cooks and get you shut down i have a feeling it wouldn't be your own hair and nails take it from one of those take it from one of my victims you're gonna have something sorry so you're doing stand up on the side of the road and yeah i was like doing open mics and then like i would like go up if a buddy asked me to do one of their shows but like last year i just started like doing it full time that's awesome yeah and you're getting from what i've seen you're you're very good now was it were you

bad at the start dude it was so bad how do you get through that that sounds horrible it's um the corniest thing that everyone says is like you just gotta it's reps yeah it's like it's like working out do other comedians like if they know you're new they like will cut you some slack if you bomb um or is it just like that is i don't i don't know i've heard i've like been pretty lucky everyone's been really super awesome yeah to me um but i don't know people still talk shit if you're bombing they just won't say it to your face i guess do you ever meet guys that are like still bombing and they're like they've been doing it for a while i've heard i've heard about some like top dogs that like bomb every night really yeah because they're just like they go up and

they just like they like being on stage and they're not even like doing material i feel like i've got there's definitely people i've seen at like shows out here that are like every time i've seen them i'm like i think they're just like they can't give it up kind of thing you know i mean like it's not really progressing anywhere but they're like in the scene so they can yeah i know you gotta hang up the cleats at some point you said you bombed last night or two nights the first time i did the store which is the last time and the only time why i i thought i had five minutes turns out they gave me 10 oh yeah and then i'm like oh you're just drowning on stage i go and my sister came with me and i go dude dude we're leaving when i go off stage i'm like

we're leaving she goes well i still have my drink and i was like we're leaving and then she wouldn't come behind me i like had to grab her by the fucking collar i'm like we are leaving right now i was like dude she's like i still have my drink i was i cried the whole way home but you know stand up so much fun yeah i had like four uh cores lights the other night and i told liam i was gonna open for him in charleston in june so are you going to probably not i think you gotta i i don't have any material in june that's not true yeah you can comb through this podcast and find some stuff yeah build out yeah just read off lists people just want to see you just yeah i was pulling

up my notes app i was trying to find stuff and the first thing that came up was the i think i told you this what if rosa parks she didn't get up because she had a boner she didn't even mean to start the movement that is that's gold man that's a closer that is gold i was just embarrassed you could do we know we know some guys that uh guys are gals there are people that are popular got popular and then started doing stand-up like after and like i i don't want to i don't want to name names my girlfriend's sister said she went to one of those people and uh the they had four like openers like local guys and girls and they all were really dark and all these girls are just there to see him and then the first four people that went were like talking about like really

grim stuff and he said it was the most uncomfortable thing in the world because it's like girls are fangirling over this guy and like four guys from pittsburgh are just like talking about well see that's why i'm reluctant to stand up because you're too good you're too edgy i would know i would draw out all these girls just like right chomping at the bit and then you know they wouldn't be it's like i'm an artist man i'm not just like a piece of meat yeah i'm not just like some hunk of ass up on stage you know yeah it is you're telling me you get it no i am i need more male fans because it's just like a slumber party for me we are the by far i think at this company we have the highest proportion of female oh really by like a lot of the name

uh i think so maybe and like the branding is kind of like it's a bait our number chicks love pink yeah and kids yeah kids lipstick shopping all sorts of stuff that works but we're still like like but it's like 30 yeah that's good though yeah that's that's like a good ratio what's your do you have you looked yours i'm 80 20 okay all right yeah yeah so this is mutually beneficial maybe in that regard i think we could come on full time i would love that i would really love that that would be like somewhere in the middle of like where i've been yeah i did like the frat place now i'm at the sorority place yeah i think you guys are a good middle yeah what are what do we what do we like come across as the special guy or 10 people

outside barstool's cooler cousin all right let's go let's go i can take that i think i'm gonna get in trouble barstool's cousin with down syndrome we will take that we hey we also uh lauren's gone by the way i don't know if we ever addressed that lauren moved to mexico yes and we've got andrew sitting in with us so andrew if you want to say hi yeah hi guys this is andrew to be here yeah grace you're coming on you're coming on the the morning that we we just passed conan oh yeah we are dude spotify our last episode like got in their algorithm or something and so we like our normal on spotify we'll get like maybe like 15 to 20 000 listens and the last episode has 200 000 listens you gotta be shitting me boys and we are now climbing the spotify charts

we just passed conan we're top 50 in like top suck it conan in the country yeah fuck you conan we're right below who's like the right wing uh megan kelly right below megan kelly coming for your ass. That's the sweet spot, boys. Yeah. That's what we're doing. Sandwich between Kill Tony and

Megyn Kelly. Yeah. So this is, we've been posting about it and I think people are like, wait, what the hell? And I think it's going to be fleeting.

We will be on the charts in like three days. positive vibes going on. It's literally like, I think it's like literally like hour to hour like stock market

shit. Because like, we've never been on it. We've never been on it once. Yeah, people start selling. but like we were like 80th yesterday now we're 50th at this rate we're coming for rogan yeah but i think like you know who dethroned rogan who poller amy poller yeah brand new right yeah

but that's the thing about new pods i've learned this you do very very well the first week yep and then you lose it all is that also that's like spotify too like pushing or just like i don't know what it was but i was like yo i thought i really thought i was like you know what yeah i think i got something here and then it was god yeah that's gonna happen to us next week who's your dream contact dream contact someone you want to be you want on the phone i want a direct line to something like uh like a direct line where you know you can give a complaint and they hear you out oh oh you can you know like when when they switch like uh presidencies like they take over like the potus and and like oh yeah whatever like i want the i want the second lady's phone number

so every time there's a new vice president i have someone who is gonna i can actually text because you can't the president's not gonna respond jd vance isn't gonna respond but mrs vance or second man or second man is mrs vance what's she looking like indian woman oh really yeah shocking that blows my mind okay jesus christ what man let's get down to brass tax yeah usha vance that is something i did not expect yeah i mean hey i just want to say the more you know don't judge a book by its cover who's your most celebrity contact uh i used to play so many i used to we used to be in the same basketball group chat as little vicky oh that's lived around here we used to like noah khan for you oh yeah i used to go sick no shit yeah we did

one time wow yeah but it sounds cooler if it was like we used to go it was in boston technically used to go and newton we played uh we both shot a 103 are you from boston no i went to bc though okay yeah you're from somewhere around there right there was somewhere around there yeah where well i don't want to start yelling out names that's like what people do you ever meet someone from jersey yeah yeah all they do is yell out different town but it's like counties too yeah dude like oh you know uh townships i don't even know what they're talking about i live with three guys from jersey and they had another friend from jersey in town last weekend we were up on the roof drinking some wine and one of them their friend in town made a comment that in jersey every county

is like a different country and i was like all right like people people from jersey like love they just love it they think it's the greatest place in the world which it sounds fine but he was like 63 counties each one's a different world i think you pull up how many counties i think i nailed that how many counties are in jersey andrew i think it might be the most densely populated state in the country that one that nailed that crushed 21 all right that didn't deserve that kind of fuck you fucking moron you don't know any counties you called your shot you said look it up yeah i nailed it dinger wait i have a question grace what uh so your show now disgraceful yes

is it do you record in la i do i do la and i do new york you got both yes yeah very cool love to have you guys on we would love to come on if you guys would you know it'd be good for us i would love to yeah yeah i need the fellas you need the girls yeah let's be good shit exactly symbiotic yeah okay cool cool uh how did you come out here often are you based in new york i'm based in new york yeah okay and so my my studio there has a four-floor walk-up awful yeah and i think it i think i lost a guest because of it last week i think he took one look and he was like nah oh he got there yeah he buzzed in and he left i mean at that point you gotta you gotta carry him up he lied and said that uh he called my sister to get to let him in and she never got any calls he goes

i called it like four times and then um his team said oh he actually got a call from one of his buddies and uh he wanted to do that podcast instead oh that's what i don't get like how famous you have to be to just like be a dick uh that's a good question like if you if i got if i was at the place i don't care who you know what i mean like uh i think we're close top 50 oh my god i'm gonna be the biggest asshole wait so what number are you guys at 25 50 right 50 in podcast podcast 23 and 17 17 in comedy fellas sick right was this the 100th episode yeah okay big old dinger so that was we kind of we so i think we also emailed our producer lauren like emailed spotify and was like hey 100th episode's coming out if there's anything you guys want to do

and it sounds like they were like cool apparently we gotta email them more we got an episode coming out if you want to rig the system it is it's not it's totally rigged it's 100 but that also why isn't spotify why don't the top podcasts all just spotify ones if i owned spotify i would just be like i'm only pushing ours out yeah i don't know i also think it helps that we like we do the video on spotify which i think they're really trying to push right now yeah so i think that was a big one i'm really you guys do that no i was just looking at the camera for the video oh oh yeah video hi yeah sorry that was weird i'm waiting for one my adderall to kick in and two to get over this hangover what'd you do last night i um i i had

a meeting and then um we ordered beers to the meeting got it and so it kind of all spiraled from there are you in this part of town or where are you i'm in west hollywood okay yeah we call weho weho there's a little lingo for you it's kind of just like a locals thing yeah isn't it primarily gay over there yeah yeah my girlfriend lives in weho but uh gay exception and she is so gay um my sister's gay and lived in weho for a little bit so sorry this can't be true sometimes any more do you need more proof than that um we was actually interesting it's its own city it's it's like completely confined by the city of l.a you looked at me like i was just like this this is now this is podcasting well an interesting thing about west hollywood i

mean it's it's actually technically its own city in jersey what how many counties in jersey it would be like i guess it would be like i guess that's kind of the pot calling the village was its own city or something that would be a fun fact yeah no hey man grace if you're gonna one thing about planet if you're gonna come on we are gonna talk about niche geopolitics yeah that is i love that shit yeah that's like that's my favorite that's what we're here for all right episode episode 103 we gotta do we gotta do what we always do willy oh yeah you gotta either uh think of someone who is three years old or come up with someone who wore number three what what you don't like our format grace's grace's sister uh off cam off camera just scoffed

in my face when i told her it's quite the opposite actually i want you guys to know and i told her i wouldn't do this she's your number one fan really yeah let's go she has been boosted she must have been boosted she has it on every screen in the house that's awesome it keeps her company while i'm gone well you guys do i guess she's like a golden retriever she's like okay before i leave the house i put some water out and i put on play date and she's good to go that's all that's so sweet yeah great sorry babe of course man thank you okay what you're vaping again that's what i do i mean um and him you're well i um i have like that i have like a bad thing about me where i just make people um have bad decisions yep like i had two two of my openers

on this tour so far they were gonna either do dry january or one of them was going for a whole year no drinking and we did shows in boston and they relapsed yeah they relapsed because of you yeah well i said guys come on sounds like sounds like it wasn't that hard of a sell i mean i literally just had to say it twice have you guys heard about a may not drink i have i actually that's like a new one i think i'm gonna do it with this because you get one all right so it's so i can't remember the guy's name but he came up with this may is like a happy enough time where you can get away with like not drinking because there's like other things that make you happy everywhere and then what i also like because my birthday is in may so i was like i can't do that he slipped in

there you get one mayday where you can call mayday and you get to drink one day out of it so i think i'm gonna do that and it's like may not drink yeah tonight we were drinking uh our guy casen out there came up with this idea where we drink 12 beers and try and figure out an unsolved mystery and so tonight we are drinking cases we're each drinking a case of beer and trying to figure out where the fuck that plane went in malaysia oh dude i've been that's been wracking my brain for a bit what's your theory i i government sounds like you really got it nailed down just give me just give me a 12 pack i got this i'm almost there boys i just need a little liquid sauce all right who's three oh sorry three years older than number three um number three who's a three-year-old uh

my nephew okay there it is glad we got to the bottom of that i was thinking about this the other day um love when you think about stuff i know it's i was i made a mental and i was like wait for a time where i can lead into this naturally didn't work so i'm just gonna i actually have a story i really need to get off my chest you didn't take notes from my hard cut to talking about ty's sweatshirt yeah uh no it was it was uh when i lived with uh i was with chester and his uh college friend and he was asking me what i thought of all chester's college friends i used to live with this guy chester we well i lived with him after we lived with him what's chester's vibe chill he's got glasses fucking killer dude yeah he's

killer he's the four eyes um yeah he's got glasses anyway when i lived with him you know you you know when you live with a guy for a year you meet all their like buddies that come and visit and stuff and vice versa yeah and uh the the worst impression was this guy named monty i guess i'll just say his name i don't know i'm sorry bro you have to that's one of those names yeah yeah and so monty comes to visit and uh he's staying with us my buddy's also there that weekend we're going to this like barbecue thing and i order we're at the barbecue we're drinking we're all getting like a little drunk and we're like all right we need to eat and i was like i'll get everyone sandwiches from giada which is like very nice it's sick yeah yeah you should go uh and so i ordered four

sandwiches from giotto one for each of us i go walk to the place like a mile or bike or something get it bring it back get all the sandwiches go to the bathroom and like get distracted for a second when i come back there's no sandwiches left and i'm like what the hell happened and uh chester's like oh we thought there was or monty thought there was an extra one so he ate two so monty had eaten for the record they're giant they're giant they're massive sandwiches so i leave the party go buy four sandwiches i hadn't even like gotten paid for it at this point and then he ate his and mine and then he has the audacity to say he comes up he's like guys i'm honestly like way too full i need to go home oh my god dude and so he goes well i was like oh

i fucking wonder why yeah and so he leaves and he goes back to our place i'm twice as full as i'd like to i'm like jesus christ whatever we're out all night we come back and uh i get back with my buddy and i go to walk in my bedroom monty had gone back and passed out in my bed monty so monty's asleep in my bed and i'm like you know what i don't even want to fucking deal with this we have a nice couch i'm with my buddy we're gonna watch a movie i'll just pass on the couch we put on harry potter we're sitting on our couch harry potter starts we're watching it monty comes walking out of the room i'm expecting that he's gonna be like oh sorry what the hell he goes hey uh do you guys mind turning that down i'm trying to sleep back into my room and passes

out of my bed again i don't like is that insane sounds like goldilocks yeah he's a it was insane i don't like him yeah so i was like yeah that was my least favorite of your friends chester and i feel like you could understand why i don't want to i don't want to reopen an old wound very i was when he's telling the story i'm like this sounds this sounds familiar this is like oh have i fucking told it before no no no no which sounds like repeat stories on no you never told that story i'm like this sounds familiar like this has happened to me will had a barbecue i bought burgers and hot dogs for everyone uh i let the first round go to everyone else because i was like i can wait yeah i went into the bathroom

came back out they'd eaten all the burgers and hot dogs and i didn't get one i paid for all of them this was like you waited until all the burgers got eaten and then said i had a burger no no i raised my hand on the first round and they were like it already it already like people already called them i go great can i one out of the next one and then also it was flan's fault i was sitting next to my girlfriend and i was like hey i'm gonna go to the bathroom if they're done when i'm back grab one and uh i came back everyone's like enjoying them like making really loud noises about how much they like them and then it was actually some of the best burgers they wouldn't shut the fuck up about how good the burgers were they're like oh my god you gotta try one it's like

the greatest thing in the world and i was like what happened she goes it all happened so fast and like everyone just had one and I didn't want to speak up. I was like, all right. That's what you get for being selfless. There were guys

having two burgers. It was bullshit. Oh, dude. All right, should we roadmap it up? I'm less sympathetic to that. Yeah, we do this great thing

called the roadmap where we find out what we're going to do this episode. Will does this awesome thing where every episode he pretends like he hates it when we have a guest on

but in reality, he loves it. No, no, no. I could leave. Not that. He said that I,

he meant that I pretend that I hate the roadmap when we have a guest on. Yeah, that's my sister's favorite part oh yeah I'll leave

did I phrase it wrong yeah you said you pretend that I hate when we have a gas he pretends like he hates the road map to like show off in front of the gas

we love you oh thanks we love you I'm very excited that you're here I'm jazzed to be here truly and honestly I've never told

more people about a gas oh also our producer Lauren that's normally here loves you and is really bummed that she's not here

oh sending love from Mexico bingo thank you I also love you i never really treat you like trash no i did some research on the show and everything you do a great job on the show thank you man i like it you have a really good like intro song oh yeah they cooper my guy cooper

he fucking crushed that who has a better intro song i swear her dude i mean it's hard i kind of like how you guys use your intro song as a bleep oh yeah wait like say like say something you don't want to be on the internet uh that'll be that will be our themes so i love that aspect of it all right ready i'll do it and i'll bleep it it's like a bleep now say now say come oh i was gonna bleep that keep his coming but bleep mine oh bleep mine for sure we have a lovely episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches then we're doing a new segment that i came up with uh called good hang good hang or bad hanging i don't even know about this i pitched it i pitched it to you uh then we're gonna do

everyone's favorite segment grace say it with me teach me something followed by this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in my house and it rocks in my yard there's rocks in my yard and we're gonna play the hits we're doing sayings that don't exist and just for grace we're doing boston suburbs that don't exist and then we'll finish i'm very excited about this i'm fired up and then we're gonna do rusty song of the day don't want to pat myself on the back the playlist has uh at this moment 1100 wow Wow, shooting for 10,000. There we go, bragging again.

He's a good numbers, boys. What kind of music do you listen to? Oh, brainless, mindless, num, EDM. Really? I wouldn't have guessed that. Really? Oh, what do I give off? Slipknot.

I don't even know what Slipknot is. I don't know what it sounds like. It's just a cool mudslide. Mudslide. Have you ever had a mudslide? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Those things are fucking rock.

Kid I know from home. um he has an instagram account ranking his best mudslides throughout the summer is he friends with people that live in southie for sure okay then i've seen that you've seen that yeah there's you know who makes a good uh mudslide in boston is um lincoln you ever been to lincoln oh yeah like they have like a brunch mudslide and we had do you remember oh yeah i'm gonna tell grace's story so this was this was this story i was gonna tell us the night after this so or the morning after this so will he give context as to what happened the there was a night we went out in southie and uh we'd gotten separated at some point and i hadn't seen him in like maybe

an hour or something and i went back to the lincoln and i come out of the i had gone to the bathroom and i come out of the bathroom and he's at the bar he's like hey way i was like oh no way like you're here and i walk over and you know he's clearly had a lot to drink i'm like what's going on dude and like before i can even get a word out the guy behind us goes you with him i was like what uh yeah yeah that's my buddy and he goes then i'm gonna kick your ass too i was like what i was like i don't know and then he fucking came in and started swinging and i'd be like whoa whoa whoa whoa and like the people got involved and separated us and then the bouncer came over and the bartender was like it was these guys that started it and pointed and we both got

kicked out and escorted out of lincoln for their good i don't think i don't i don't know he doesn't know i don't think i knew i was in a fight either yeah i like had my back to the guy yeah i was like in between you and him you're with him i should have been like no but i was like yeah of course that's my boy it's a great i'm gonna kick your ass too and then like we went to fucking escorted out being some friends shirt off and started kicking a parked car that's not what happened that's not what happened i was trying to get into i was politely trying to get into an uber and will kept taking my clothes off and and politely it was like the middle of winter too so it's like naked in the street by that pizza shop up on the you know the fucking whatever

and uh these girls were like on the other side of the glass and will when will got up to me they were like filming and so he had to be like i can't remember what i was saying but he was just like this is like please no this is gonna be like not great if my career's tied to him he's getting comfortable i was getting hey man i was getting boston comfy i was getting boston comfy man i was slapping ass and fucking saying bad stuff man come on um and then so we go back for brunch and i didn't this might have been like i think in my head these are way closer together it may have been like a couple weeks i do that too and uh and the waitress was so so not she was very nice to everyone at the table and then was like giving me the hairy eyeball and i was like

what like what could have happened here and then i think i remembered like oh they didn't also there's no way i would start a fight i've never started a fight you probably know you probably just like bumped into the guy i feel like there's about 50 of any bar in southie is a guy waiting to be like slightly nudged so he can punch you he's like trying to take charges um all right now i want to take guesses on what you did i think if i had to guess it was probably like i did nothing he i did nothing i had to guess i was being hey man if i had to take a stab in the dark i was probably being a perfect angel and he was he didn't like it yeah that's probably getting i was probably getting too much ass or something yeah he had war on his mind yeah

yeah you were taking this girl from i was probably taking his girlfriend away yeah you probably tell her you're so gross i'm gonna say that we've told this the woody harrelson's brother story there was a damsel in distress willie stepped in uh the guy this boyfriend's yelling at his girlfriend and then the girlfriend long story short the girlfriend leaves with this like old guy they speed off in like a half a million dollar mclaren and willie's like that guy's hammered like that guy shouldn't be driving the guy next to him goes oh he'll do a bump he'll be fine well he's like what who is that he was like you don't know who that is that's woody harrelson's brother like it was like a mic drop it was like how do you know that this is kind of his spot

this city will chew you out like a shitty like yeah not like a cool bar either yeah we're at Jameson's like down the street oh yeah I got arrested there almost really yeah

for I swung on a guy a few times but missed every time you don't have to that's so embarrassing getting getting like an assault charge

but like you never attempted I like kind of got him at the last and I was like Grace O'Malley attempted assault what does that mean

they let me go if I said sorry grinding grinding with intent it's like a weird crime like she was going after um all right and there's a bar in boston called your name is that a thing um it's a there's like

a chain of grace o'malley restaurants that's funny it's like they're like all over the place grain o'malley's or something uh grania yeah that's that's grace and irish really yeah there you go it's good stuff it's a bar i have no affiliation i wish i had you don't get like royalties or anything no it's bullshit you should sue them well who i really want to kill is the the the when you look up my name there's a irish pirate named grace o'malley yeah from like the 1700s he loves pirates i love pirates yeah well she's kind of a badass so an irish pirate oh yeah little ip come on yeah she's kind of fucking my shit up yeah wow looks like you a little bit that one she's like yeah that was her summer and that was her like summer abroad

She got cornrows. All right, Andrew, should we hear some pitches? Yes. Oh, yeah, did you do – you got this stuff ready? I definitely have them ready to go because I'm prepared always. That sounds not sure. If you don't, that's okay. No, I do.

I do. I actually have them. The way this works is the listeners at home are going to give us a business pitch. We can be any of the sharks or any judge, and you tell them if you would invest in it. All right. I'll be Randy. Bala. Ready?

wait grace hasn't picked hers oh sorry simon all right hello mordecai rigby and benson benson mordecai so grace you're rigby then sorry what's happening someone sent this into us and they come up with little names okay there's usually nothing oh no i'm loving i'm i'm all in i just i kind of dazed doze off for a second because i was trying to think of shark tank people and then i was like that was american idol yeah there finally someone so they'll give like three names and then you just call dibs on okay wonderful okay gotcha it's just a little your sister will probably know it's sort of part of our lore now all right what's the worst part about finding a significant other uh it's impossible

the part where you don't it's literally never happens it's like too easy and you like like them a lot after knowing whether or not the person is interested in being flirted with let me introduce you to the availability aviators a pair of glasses with the display screen inside that shows whether a person is single but not looking single and looking or taken never again will you be sitting in the corner of a bar worried about if a cute girl or guy is okay with you coming up to talk hope you like the idea looking at you will big fan of the pod i'm just picturing when you have them on it's like single and really scared of you single and really weirded out by what you're wearing that's a good sketch actually you're everyone else is like kind of you know like

yeah i'm open to being hit on or like i'm not or whatever and then you're at the end of the bar and it's like so horny he wants you so fucking bad they're gonna fucking explode it's just the two people wearing the same glasses just like we'll literally take anything anyone come up to me please please save me from this just a guy sitting in a bar yeah it's like like gauges interest yes but also like the i don't know any even if they're open to being hit on like you're wearing aviators in the bar they're like that guy's really cool and he feels like he's like feels like we're on the same page but he will not stop looking at me through his like laser beam it's like drooling he's like filming you know what's gonna happen next

or it's like you're like hey how are you and you see like it completely like they they're oh they change it like on their phone like their setting or i don't know if it's yeah i don't know how it works i was telling i was telling my grandmother this the other day i think i've already told you this but we were at we were at dinner with my grandparents we're in a booth and uh my grandpa is like kind of a no-nonsense guy and just gets very bored very easily and someone was telling like just the most boring story in the world and he nudged me and he has his hearing aids like connected to his phone and they were on restaurant mode he shows me a screen he just clicks off that's his phone back oh dude that's good shit that's very cool yeah

that's like so that that contraption would help you have no conversations with the ones you don't want to have yes i could have worded that better you know you know when you're talking to a girl And then it takes forever for you to realize that you don't want to talk to her. I don't know why I'm saying, you know, when you're talking to a girl. Us guys, we're out fucking. You know us boys. We're out, man. We're looking at ass.

Come on, man. Yeah, you know. We need to wiggle it around. Stuff us guys like, dude. Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad. I get it. I'm Siaya and I live in Ice Cove.

I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today, I'm still figuring it out. Somehow, things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. Come on, adjust in our crotches. Order juggy beers.

Sorry, I've been with the sorority girls for too long. She's like letting loose a little bit. yeah no i i think i'm in i'm in i'm a little worried about you know misuse but i think i'm i'm in i would you i would misuse the shit what is misuse like just wearing them too much yeah like you couldn't go out without them then wearing them or like forgetting to take them off and you're in like you're at work yeah yeah our boss edge is like so horny oh my god i was like dude i don't know andrew is like i think we gotta get him out of here you know i'm gonna use these this weekend like uh we had a work event at a bar and i was with

our friend lucas who also works here yeah and i got thrown into this like two man like there was two girls yeah of us yeah but i have a girlfriend so i was like i don't know how to deal with this situation and it got so much worse when he bought like his girl a drink right then my girl just had to like buy her own drink while i stood there and watched it and i was like so embarrassed by the whole situation i just called an uber and went home i was like i was like at the bar i like just gotten there i was there for like maybe 30 minutes and i was like this is so weird i'm leaving i'm just gonna go home yeah i'll tell you what i've been that girl yeah every time yeah should i get another fucking drink from again anyone guys just disappear literally anyone buy me a beer i was at

a dell water gap concert you know him yeah yeah it's every fucking week of this guy he's a new is a new band or artist I think he like makes him up on the spot Del Watercap and Del Watergap and I don't want

anybody else touching me like I do yes like I do the lyric is I don't want anyone else touching me like I do touching you like I do

guy who's really good at jerking off I figured it out I don't want no one can do it better than me no one else touch me nobody touches me

like me baby I was there with my buddy Pat and we had smoked marijuana before going in the ganj not illegal the ganj

Royale we've all been there pot if you will yeah even Royale that's where it was in Boston oh yeah yeah

and we were I think I had smoked too much marijuana and these girls came up and they were like hey like you guys want to get a drink and I was just like

and so then Pat was like do you have any Narcan and like there was like two one to one each do you have any Narcan and Pat was like to the one girl

like sure like I'll get you one and then the other girls were standing next to me like so high I couldn't talk and I was just like concert was really fun

Pat's Pat's friend's a little weird Pat was babysitting like a special needs guy I think Pat I think Pat works for Best Buddies and then eventually

they both left and Pat was like what the fuck was that dude I don't know man I was like I don't know I'm scared I just want to listen to the music

did you hear another pitch Andrew yeah what do you got for us that one was by Joe by the way thank you Joe shout out Joe this one is by Annie

uh click clack moo click clack moo oh that's us yeah yeah that's i'll be clack moo i want to move i'll be clack also what is what is that usually like the trio has some like yeah is that a thing you know like the book you never read that like the cows on the typewriter cows on a typewriter come on come on speaking of books i see you have falling up i'm a big fan of that oh yeah i have read this years ago yeah he's fucked up looking but i love that guy Yeah, I think it's on the back of that. He's really scary. He's a fucking terrifying man.

Yeah. Who's Shel Silverstein? Yeah. Is that a man? Look at the back of that book. You know he wrote some Johnny Cash songs? Shel Silverstein? How old is he?

Ooh, okay. Yep. Don't look that up. I don't know where I heard that. Don't look that up. Great. I learned live that Shel Silverstein's a man. Tell me that.

Oh, yeah, look. I walked into that burning ring of fire. Burn, burn, burn. Flames got higher. we're doing we're doing johnny cash come on man we're getting with the time he wrote that book oh click click move johnny cash wrote falling up uh all right let's hear another pitch uh what's the worst part of growing up you have you have to do things you you have to do everything for yourself oh not funny because i forgot another yes what was the question uh what's the worst

part of growing up oh uh body body's hairy now losing your innocence and there's hair in your junk every part of your body grows except for your crotch it's really hard to get a license once you wait too long there you go all right uh people don't pull nearly enough pranks anymore even if you want to prank it's hard to come up with a good one you scour reddit articles or end up on posts like best pranks from kids every april fools i'm on like some reddit thread of like best pranks r slash pranks i set a calendar invite last or after this april fools next year like a month before so I have time to plan.

Didn't you do that this year and it didn't work? I didn't say I'm going to do it. I just said it's there in case I want it. My mom was texting me all day saying, do you get pranked yet?

I'm like, what do you think we're doing out here? It's like the highlight of our year. I bet Grace is going to get so pranked today. I can't wait to hear the stories of how she's getting her prank ass. Do your mom thinks

like young adults do? I bet they're out silly stringing each other and fucking... She's like, those damn comedians, I'm sure you've got some pranks pulled on you.

yeah a chair taken away be aware of la man there's a lot of pranksters we pranked lauren we told her emma chamberlain was here oh that's true yeah you guys do pull a lot of pranks actually it was epic yeah yeah we told her xi jinping wanted to come on the pod and she didn't know who that was and we told her it was an olympian and then she believed it and then we pinged her she thought she thought xi jinping was coming on you call me ponged because i don't know i don't know call me punk i'm pong man oh rock on okay and he he's a huge listener so don't say the ccp is already on our ass for something last episode okay nothing gives you that great practical joke you are looking for that's where prankster comes in it's an app where you

put in some details about the person you want to prank and generative ai helps to come up with unique creative good pranks then it provides links to purchase any supplies needed for the prank you can either execute it the old-fashioned way or you can pay to upgrade and upload additional information about that person's schedule or work and the ai will pull details from public domains to suggest the best time to do the prank and how to go about it to provide optimal results i wish someone would invent this because i was struggling this past april fools hope y'all like it you guys rock i love it i like that a lot i think i would use it i like that he's already trying to upsell the customers that don't exist yet he's like well you know obviously we're

in this business to make money we gotta have we gotta we gotta have a back-end way to upsell them yeah i love it i think uh i'm in and he's itching to prank yeah just once a year once this once an app i like this i love a good prank we used to do them a little bit more and i feel like our schedules have gotten a little busier and we used to try to prank our producer a lot and now i feel like we've gotten i think they should bring back punked but only on influencers you know they did it on quibi chance the rapper did it on quibi yeah anthony davis has an ai sentence you miss that i did not catch that yeah he pranked i think like sabrina carpenter they're the old punks used to not be like they they made it i think like frankie muniz they

made him seem like he like killed the guy like they were like way too far dude yeah and i don't know how like they were ever they ever like were like yeah i'll sign off on that because a lot of them act like douchebags oh you think they have to after be like yes you can use that yeah don't you think like it always blew my mind like jason bieber is just like i don't i'm not fucking doing this he was such a dick in it but it was like so funny yeah i bet that i bet ashton kutcher wait who is it that hit a guy in real life someone no someone punched one of the actors that happened in a punked oh can you go like punk who's the kid that plays uh uh brick on the middle punked punch punch act punk gun punch no punch i think you're gonna get there crunch punch put crunch punch

actor i think oh zach braff that's who it was oh yeah is that right is that who that is you'll never work in this town again yeah zach braff i think hit a kid zach braff hit a kid like an actor of punked he was so mad that he hit him and then they were like all right all right it's punk it's punk and he's like i still hit the fucking kid like yeah yeah i would like to think if i was on punked i would conduct myself well but i i don't think i would wait so what happened zach raff saw zach raff got pranked by a kid and then punched him in the face they like i think they like swapped his car yeah they didn't even air it they like swapped his car with a different car or something and that was looked the same and like graffiti the shit out of it and then had these

like skateboarder kids come by and be like ha ha and he like freaked out and like hit a kid i think that that's yeah that's a logical i don't think he hit him that bad like i remember watching it and not being like i was waiting for like he didn't do he didn't hit the kid that bad at least the kid was getting paid he just stunned him it's just funny like like you're a parent already pointing off your child to be like a child actor right you're like no this is ethical like i'm not a bad person like punch my giving them a career the kids probably used to it yeah true if he grew up in that there you go there you go i'm a professional and he can take a punch too if you guys need that ever heard of him knocked him out cold kid you champ do you get like hazard pay

if zach braff punches in the face yeah he probably got like a payout right he must sure i don't know That MTV punch money? You got that MTV punch money. So does Snooki. I'm holding out for that MTV punch money. All right, should we pitch each other? Yeah, let's do it. All right.

What's the worst part about eating a Popsicle? It's melted. Fingers sticky. Fingers sticky, man. No. If you eat them the way I eat them, it rubs the roof of your mouth raw. because i like bite off a chunk and then i like rub it on the roof andrew knows what i'm talking about you rub it on the roof your mouth until it all melts i thought you were doing like a

really like i didn't i was trying to refrain from doing the motion you know when you're eating like a big popsicle and like uh but like i rub the roof of my mouth raw this is a this is a thing it's like a it's like a retainer type thing that you pop in the roof of your mouth is pizza plastic hooks behind your ears and then you can eat them and you rub it on the rubber instead of the instead of the roof of your mouth so you can melt the popsicle this is for popsicles yeah okay you don't like that pitch you want a different one you want to fucking i just want to be clear about your motives how often are you eating popsicles it's summertime all the time all right different pitch it's a drinking game where uh you watch you

throw on love on the spectrum and every time they you know they're always like i like blank like they just all they talk about is what they like yeah every time they say they say they like something that you like you take a shot you'd be shocked how many times because they'll be like i don't like loud noises and you're like same or they're like i don't like like seagulls pooping you're like me neither brother i like that yeah i like that a lot that's really fun or they're like um i like pulling velcro apart and you're like i like that too oh that is because they say stuff where you're like i guess i never thought about that but i do like it yeah i also think that the producers they act like they're they act like they're good guys i think they know they know

fucking exactly what they're doing because they'll be like they'll you know they'll be like this is danny danny likes this and she doesn't like this like they probably didn't bring that up they were just like write down three things you like and three things you don't like and like anyone would sound special needs if you like name three things you like right now i like you're holding a sword right now will will likes medieval knights but yeah he sounds he sounds incredibly special but everyone likes stuff yeah you have your shoes off you're wearing corduroys right now uh i like medieval stuff me too man amen brother fucking lock me up and throw away the padlock

or something. I was trying to think of like a medieval. Lock me up and then throw away the padlock. I'd be able to walk free. All right,

lock me up, throw away the jail cell. I think this game's good because then you find out what your boys also like. Yes. Because it's hard to know. Yeah,

some of my friends, I couldn't tell you, I spend a lot of time with Ty and I don't know what he, I don't know, I know he likes Kashi and that's kind of it.

Like the cereal? He, I have a theory. I thought you meant Takashi. No. Ty could like tank the Tashi kashi's stock price if you want to do like he eats uh a bowl a dry bowl with every meal

and like buys at least five boxes a day sounds like a gerbil yeah i live with it you also see sleeps in like a bed of straw and he like burrows under credit him he's up and on the wheel by six every morning guy stays hydrated My roommate in college I think I said that Mounted a water bottle I saw people doing this During COVID

I think that's smart People are bizarre Yeah I was kind of like Pathetic But it was kind of cool I wish I had one Because I was on the top bunk I can't believe we lived like

You like swing down And you're like Get out of here man It's mine That's my feeding hole Has anyone seen my kibble? I haven't The way we

Yeah those dorms Are fucking disgusting It's crazy they put that many people in that tiny room every time i think amen brother that's kind of nuts yeah will you tell her the scrambled eggs thing please we can cut it if you don't i haven't told this i don't think it's one of my favorite stories of all time yeah i will tell the story it's actually kind of funny it's fun what's fun about this is like i feel like when we started this there were like a lot of things i was like really guarded about like talking about but now

i feel like that's the thing yeah you have the conversation with your parents about any of this my mom doesn't listen and then my dad is fine with whatever and he'll if there's like a thing he thinks my mom will like then he'll send her that snippet but she doesn't listen to anything else because i thought i thought he said if there's a thing he thinks my mom wouldn't like he sent that no i told you he'd never be shit look what you did your son susan do you talk to your parents about it i um i had a talk with my mom early on where i was like you're always gonna like the stuff i post because she unfollowed me on instagram because i posted a picture of two boys two of my guy friends and i said which one makes you want to cream your jeans

more oh and she didn't love that she didn't love that one i think i ripped the band-aid off pretty early when i drank 12 four locos on the yeah they're like great can't get worse than that are you still ranking no out of the game like an official statement i missed that no i i did r beer as like a informal send off but it was just it's like the older you get the worse i try i drink 12 years in private now okay in the same in the uh quiet of my own you still trying yeah trying new shit yeah dude yeah he's wicked young though yeah i recently found this out yeah you're like 21 23 i'm 26 never ask a woman their age you're sorry i just i'm just one of the guys How old are you?

Stop. That was an example. I would never have done that. Don't tell me. Yeah. All right, pitch me, Willie. No, I was going to tell you that. I would also like to know how old you are as well.

I was in my freshman year of college in one of those tiny ass dorms. And I was engaged in lewd behavior with a woman. It was evidently in the morning. And we had just gotten breakfast. We've all been there, man. While we were engaging lewd behavior on the, like, not in a bed. We were, like, because I had the top bunk. So, you know, sometimes you didn't, I don't know.

Right. Whatever. Kills the mood to, like, hoist her up. Yeah. So we were. The lady. We were. After you.

We were just on the floor. I thought my roommates were all gone. My roommate had been, like, out of town for the weekend. I guess he came back with his parents and they had brought stuff to load in. And he, his dad opens the door. And I look at his dad. and I go, oh my fucking God, and I tackle

the woman that I'm with into the ground and land directly on top of a bowl of scrambled eggs and bacon. Oh God. My breakfast! I'm starving! Yeah, she's not mad about anything.

No! The dad's like, they're fighting over bacon? What's going on? Those were perfect. so the dad is like oh my god and like leaves and then it's like and they're like

oh sorry give us one second and I'm like one second you're covered in eggs like I don't want you getting in my bed like that

but I had to just I was like alright just get up everyone just get in my bed cover it alright everyone get in here

we'll eat breakfast and then we'll go our separate way I was like feeling bacon off my ass the next yeah

and it's not like you can leave to another door like you still gotta see them you gotta open it one way or another yeah

it's like oh hey yeah it was awesome I wonder how Egg salad girl felt Yeah she Probably not good

She probably loved it She went back to her room And was like So the hottest thing Ever happened So remember that fantasy I told you that was crazy Happened

Been a little over easy I just met I just met The coolest guy I was over hot Yeah He gave me breakfast In bed

In the middle of having sex You unlock like a new fetish You can't get You can't get excited Unless you're covered in eggs Anything breakfast You can fuck over grits. Yeah.

So that was something that happened to me one time. So that was the best Tuesday ever. So that was the best night of my life. Yeah, it was epic. College was awesome. Oh, my God. All right, you want to pitch us? Yeah.

Yeah. I just saw a flashback in your eyes. Yeah, I was like, God, I hope she doesn't listen to this podcast. What's she doing these days? I can't. She's a chef. I can't. I can't.

She owns the hottest diner in town. i'm not gonna say anything that i have to protect her identity oh you know what she does she's done the you know they used to have like the naked ladies and they have sushi on them like at like hollywood parties she's a human cutting board now um no she's a trad wife now she's been dead for years uh all right ai football all right you ever want to know like you ever think like don't give me that face i didn't give you can i talk to you for a second

the all right you ever think about like it would be fun to like like catch a football like from a pro kind of thing but all your buddies suck at throwing a football like sometimes it's nice to play catch but your buddy sucks yes yeah so this is just the ai football where when you throw it it just you don't have to do anything special it'll immediately go into perfect spiral and go to the distance that you set it on so like you you know if you want to work on some deep routes or something you don't need to have like right you know when you're 20 when you're 24 and don't play football and you need to get some work you need to practice you're like i'm always i've got to be ready i mean the jets are getting pretty thin at a lot of positions jordan travis just

retired they might need someone to back up if fields goes down i'm ready yeah those don't do suffice no but it's more like this exists i fucking forgot about those i forgot about the jugs machine it's like a funny looking guy yeah that like totally exists yeah well this one's built into the football like i'm not gonna bring that to the beach how heavy is the football normal oh okay it's like a microchip ever heard of it it's not the 80s not everything weighs 100 pounds get with the times take up a whole room buddy come on it's gonna take a little water though that's what they say it's water powered uh all right guys do you have a pitch i do it's uh it's a it's a concept for a um what's the worst thing

when you're well this is kind of tricky for you guys because you don't actually live in the city particularly division okay you live in the city right and you go to a concert or you're you're you're you go to a concert and then you don't want to go to a bar because you're on shrooms right and so like there's like nowhere to go where you can go chill because everyone's houses are so small in the city like apartment so what you do is um you go to my new bar and this bar is um it's it's it's got to be in brooklyn because that's where all the space is and um it's a it's a bonfire but around the bonfire is other personal fires where you can have your own cooler and kick it with your boys i like that that's like the perfect place to go on trips i love it that

sounds fantastic we yeah yeah i'm in thank you it's like a lot it's like a multi-person fire pit yeah it's like a yeah it's like a big bonfire so you can do that but you can also buy like a by table i guess it would be or like some chairs yeah so basically i came on um you guys willing to invest yes yes all right i'm in all right last time out here we just have fire pits yeah so we don't get those you can't even buy um you can't even buy propane yeah because it's a city oh think about like the only the only person in the city that would want propane is probably up to no what about a grill when are you grilling i think you have to go to jersey balcony if you have like a balcony grill i think you have to go to jersey and pick up your propane interesting

yeah last time willie and i were had a bonfire i'll have one on saturday you coming yes i'm down cool uh i fuck you got if you're are you here i'm here you're in my gum yeah kentucky derby party oh fancy hats yeah i'm not i'm i don't have any big hats i'm gonna wear the men don't wear hats oh cool you can wear top all right you guys are both invited and my dress is great everyone's invited is this real yeah this is real i'm gonna come i'll send it okay yeah uh all right should we do teach me something yeah wait what was your last bonfire i don't know i was gonna say no the last time we were on i was thinking of shrooms and bonfire last time i was on shrooms at a bonfire i almost killed all of us i threw i put a oh my topo chico bottle in the fire and

we were all like looking at it to see what would happen yeah and then willie came out and was like whoa what are you guys doing like get away from there and then we walked away and two seconds later it exploded and glass shards shot like all over the wall i was picking up glass shards six feet from the fire pit the next morning i would never think it would just explode like that that's what i thought too that's pretty crazy and that happened to one of liam's buddies and it like scarred his face permanently oh shit so apparently it is like it is a common experiment that guys are trying to do yeah well yeah how it's like a full sealed like glass bottle into the fire i am shocked that you don't see a fire and think to do that honestly yeah sorry you don't have

childlike whimsy anymore you don't want to figure out you don't want to get to the bottom it's been all snuffed out we're only on earth once we got to figure out all the stuff we got to figure out what everything what happens to everything when it's in the fire you were almost barely on earth once but i didn't fucking save you yes all right should we oh wait we got we got no that that incident i mean oh yes we got good hang name or bad hang name i'm gonna tell you a name we're gonna just generalize about these people and try and figure out if they would be a good person to hang out with their bad person all right michael yeah sure you're good this didn't go the way i thought it was gonna go back to the back to the drawing board on segments i was thinking that was

it i don't know it really just says michael it just says michael well because all right hold on hold on oh so michael i thought you were gonna like rattle them all well because what i wanted to say was like maybe like mikey mikey's a cool guy this guy that insists on going by michael okay that's not i mean he insists on that i don't want yes all right well i'm trying to stir up some controversy here guys my fuck anyone named michael my new segment fell flat on his face all right let's move on to the better segments welcome back to teach me something come on mine is from our good friend jonathan miller he posted this the other day and it made me made me happy uh mr rogers we went to the same college harvard to the south no big deal uh and i just want to

talk about talk about all the different things that he's done that made him a really good guy in 1969 when black americans were still prevented from swimming alongside white people mr rogers took a stand against racial inequality when he invited officer clemens to join him for a moment in the pool which he kind of half-assed they just put their feet what they just put their who's officer clemens oh yeah i guess i said that like we all know he was just a local guy local police officer local black guy he just opened the door at the studio and said get in I want to dip your toes in and end racism with me. Get in here.

Roll up your pants. Put your ankle. Let's get ankles deep together. And then he came back on in 1993, which I feel like by the 90s, that was already fine. Like, he was like, guys, look, I'm doing it again. Oh, he did it again? Oh, he did it twice? Yeah.

And they're like, hey, that was like Michael Jordan. He did it with a Russian guy in 1993. The Bulls won the finals the year he did this. like yeah i feel like we'd already gotten past the whole race thing uh but i just thought it was i thought that was a cool fact yeah nice guy officer clint we gotta get him on the pod and then i was talking to my dad and i was like yeah mr rogers is this like cool guy who went to rollins whatever and i thought he was like a normal like one of us guys they showed me the house that his dad bought for him when he's at rollins he lived in like a mansion no when he

was there so i guess it's easy pretty easy to be a nice guy when you're at you know trustafarian i always thought something bad was gonna come out about him i did too i just like i don't know I don't trust a guy in a cardigan. And like, yeah. And he's like, oh, he's like talking to kids directly. There's something weird about that. Yeah. I mean, like the Cosby thing.

Mr. Rogers can't. Cosby went to my school. Really? That's crazy. That's my alumni. No way. We're right. Mr. Rogers.

Or you weren't right, but other people are thinking about it. Has he been canceled yet? Has Mr. Rogers been canceled yet? From the grave? Yeah. Has he been canceled yet? I mean, it's getting too far in the society. Let's cancel him.

I think you shouldn't wear shoes inside, even if they're just your inside shoes. You should come and take his outside shoes off and put on inside shoes. Oh. I guess it's fine. I guess there's nothing wrong with being OCD. It's a little psycho. I would hate it. My buddy, this happened about six months after college graduation.

One of my buddies instituted a no shoes in the house rule at his post-grad house. Is he Japanese? No, it's Ben. That's weird then. you know ben my dad used to do plumbing at people's houses and they'd say sir can you please take your shoes off he's like i'm wearing steel toe boots because i'm doing work he's like you clogged you took a giant monster shit you want me to clean it up and now you want me to take my red wings out around your fucking shitty little toilet no but the i don't that was too for

me it was too soon after graduation you gotta be like five years out or like yeah have like live with like a i don't wear shoes yeah yeah it's got to be a lady's no shoes now six months after you graduate there shouldn't be there shouldn't be a rule but it should be implied yeah like i don't wear shoes in the house but you wouldn't like stop someone coming in would you uh no no now we're a few years out even now is acceptable i was like the funniest shit about high school parties was like someone's parents would be out of town and like a bunch of kids trekking in in the snow but like it's still someone's parents house so there's just a pile of shoes at the door everyone has the same shoes you're like all right which bean boots are mine that's so mean

i was like i don't know south carolina is not relatable at all all right come on it's a relatable story that's relatable to me you know when you're done with you're done partying with 16 year olds and you find your bean boots and they're trying to and then you're you called the moose to ride home but he hasn't showed up yet i haven't stopped partying with 16 year olds i'll tell you come on come on those fuckers can drink my shoes up it was me dude killer night last night was me mr rogers ryan from my econ class it was fucking killer we burnt the city to the ground i hate that but that's probably made a really annoying noise for sure do it again cool fuck you just bumped up the bad boy at podcasting uh teach us something somebody okay i got one

please i'll tweet today that an act you're gonna love this sorry you're gonna love this I saw an ex of mine. I saw, no, an ex. So I was tweeting at my ex. So my ex was tweeting about the scrambled eggs. No, Wyoming is only three states away from North Carolina. Like, there's three states that touch. That's not true.

Look up a map of the Americas. Or just the U.S. is fine. It's three states, but it's on the other side of the country. You can go only through three states from North Carolina to Wyoming. look ready so he's got to see his pointer tennessee up to missouri into nebraska christ have mercy how crazy is that i don't like it he goes tennessee missouri nebraska in my defense i was thinking about montana if that helps that'd be one more yeah that's where i always think it is too yeah i've never been to wyoming i can't say i have either grace you

want to teach us something i um this is the one that i didn't particularly there we go that's fine save time i thought my chill silver steam would suffice oh yeah that does count all right should we do this i was like i don't know anything i was trying to do it hungover when i woke up this morning i was like do i know anything yeah when trying to come up with it i'm like just googling like fact a lot of mine have been like frontal lobe didn't develop a lot of mine have been like chat between like craziest pirate story ever and then it'll tell me what i know i'm like crazier make it crazier less crazy less crazy less crazy i'm freaking out censored all right andrew i airdropped mine to you this is my guy that rocks a camera what is

andrew pauses immediately and i mean immediately everyone see us here ask ask him any football team and he'll tell you the stadium go go ask him a team what team no you ask him a team tell him a team and he'll tell you the football ground what stadium is it no you you tell you tell him the team and he'll tell you the stadium sell it give him a harder one give him another team another team give him a harder one uh i'll feel i just i don't even remember putting that in there that is very funny though That is hysterical. I was on fire when I found that, I guess.

You were red hot. All right. Ask him a team. What team? He said Anfield. I think he said field. What? Oh, oh.

What would your stadium be sponsored by? Highs Bitter, man. Yeah? Milk. Milk Stadium. Milk from the... Just 2% in general. No, the cookies, though.

We got those cookies yesterday from Milk Bar. Oh, Milk Bar. So good. They are good. nothing bunt cake have you had that shit bunt cake i had my first bunt cake yesterday how was that it sounds fancy real we have some out there it's so fucking good it's our boss's birthday all right andrew ready okay fuck me sorry wait what do you like bunt cake oh i love it okay how fucking hard was that you guys like do you guys like bunt the dj no i don't know i don't

know well so one time i was like oh i'm gonna go film a video with uh this kid bunt like he just goes by cake i'm like yeah i guess so it's like european i don't know bad story he goes by cake you're gonna love my buddy he goes by he's good you're gonna love my buddy but you have to call him cake i dream all right this is i this is a video that made me laugh no no i don't know i don't pass by 47 and i done seen this mural up a million or many a days but i'm gonna tell you that they got a whole bunch of famous people up here but i'm gonna tell you right now who the fuck is reggie i'm just asking who the fuck is reggie they ain't give him no last name everybody got last names bb king albanita walker they even got even they even got i was pressing last name

they got a nigga named reggie just at the bottom and what the hell who is that he's next to george washington or he like uh there was just some like guy walking by and he saw an open spot and was like i got time painted himself like they forgot about they forgot about Reggie

come on man Reggie I'm the backbone of this of this economy damn it looks like there's a real answer that's kind of a bummer

yeah we can cut this why'd you google hashtag hashtag it's like my mom tried to use a computer hashtag our

our usual producer Lauren is like the worst typer in the world and if you like put any pressure on her she'll like fuck up so she'll be like

she would have done like d pound sign r3d like she just like goes off the rails all right shout out reggie let's go reggie celebrating the legacy of reggie so it feels like they don't even know who he is we just know we're celebrating his legacy all right i like to think of what other reggie's you know bush bush my sister wanted to name our cat reggie and that got shot down pretty quickly that'd be a good name I didn't like it it feels like there's

like a grown man walking around the house yeah have you seen Reggie yeah that is kind of funny he's a local legend that guy Grace do you have

a this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy this guy rocks you know this guy rocks today hey hey

as you as you guys know that you're so much better at this then I'll go we just did it I missed oh

That was our She's like come on man This is their 6th most popular segment Oh yeah okay Come on This is their 6th most popular segment Come on man you came on as a guest and we gave you 18 assignments to do before us

And you forgot one of them I hate when guests do this I didn't know everything that you do on your show I'm being so rude right now We're the only podcast with like homework High school AP stats No, I have one for something else and I'll do this.

She's fuming right now. She's so mad. I'm not listening to this one. This is perfect. Grace, you get it. I was just pulling your chain. Yeah, I got got. Can a vegetarian eat animal crackers?

Good question. Speaking of animals, you ever pour glue on a bird of course not i haven't either i there's no reason i just like to check a cat will blink when struck with a hammer and it's bad luck coming in your dog with a cooking spoon a wooden spoon don't you dare he's cooking this is like i was well done This is like You were playing dumb You knew

You knew you had something Lock and load That was great It's like when you're at a stoplight And you can't get your window up in time Before the homeless guy Like gets to you Like alright I guess

I gotta just hear him out You know it's bad luck To kill your dog With a cookie spoon What is a cookie spoon A wooden cookie spoon A wooden cookie spoon Cooking spoon

I heard the same thing You heard cookie I heard cookie spoon Why are you on his side He's like what man He said it Alright fine I'll admit it

This is actually my buddy I kind of feel bad this boy chase we hang out yes chase and yeah we pour glue on a few birds i'm not gonna lie to you guys um your your colleagues asked me to pick a cracker of today that would have been my cracker that's the cracker wait do it you can do it again do it again uh ours will come out first do it again and uh you don't know that's true and pretend like it's the first time you see i mean i got a i got a shitload of crackers on my phone i'll be all right this is right up liam's alley um what was i gonna say oh i like the the like charcuterie board he's like you ever

poured glue on a bird yeah me neither man i just like to check feels like you i'm gonna go on the way there and say yeah speak for yourself man i have this guy would be throwing shit into a fire with you yeah yeah he's coming to the cookout 428 chase 2 because 428 chase was already taken or he got locked out of the first one all right grace you're the guest so you get to pick would you like to do sayings that don't exist first or boston suburbs that don't exist first i think we're all geared up for this boston suburbs let's get it going i'm ready yeah all right these are boston suburbs that don't exist you want to start yeah i gotta read it off my yeah i do too okay number one uh packyville like that um uh oh no we go we go we go oh my

apologies i got so greedy it's okay yeah it's okay um just one of the whole thing we've all been to peabody yep uh have you been to the slightly stinkier poop body yep yep poop body i've got uh i'm such a moron spread them but it's like spread ham spread them spread them they're gonna spread them yeah they got the best yeah you gotta go to spread them man i was conceived and spread them uh this one this one is a a combination of things but it flows off the tongue real good as a boston someone from boston uh munchowda it's like manchester but like it's munches and chowder yeah i love that um chester arthur like the president but it's

uh i've got clench them that's good man i got this one you know you know south of course you talked about it already so this is south of southie yeah which is dublin proper okay um sickum it's really confusing for like police dogs and like guard dogs or whatever inster but it's spelled like incestor

well done guys yesterday I kind of had a lot of these in my back pocket and I was like can we do this you're like I don't totally get it I was like I need you

I got a bonus one oh hit me no bussing All right, those are Boston suburbs Clench them, this is my favorite All right, these are more sayings that don't exist All right, I've got Getting road

Getting roadhead Getting road rage head Oh, getting rage head Feels awesome I'm trying to merge okay sorry uh getting road rage in the right lane yeah you know what i mean you're not putting yourself in in the best position to succeed and then you're getting frustrated when it doesn't happen yes that's great uh great i like going this way you can only get so close to the heater

before it burns you yeah too much of a good thing is gonna lead to you getting hurt damn right i love when you guys do these i did really good i um so i wrote mine when i was drunk yeah i actually just said them out loud and that was and my sister was my typewriter perfect um so you know she looks nervous right now don't bring out the nunchucks unless you want to get twisted yes come on because you know you don't you want to fight fire you know i don't want to use another saying but you You don't want to get aggressive with them, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're going to get twisted.

Just because you see a wave don't mean you got to surf it. Wait for the right opportunity. Don't pounce on the first thing that comes at you. That's great. I think that's in a beach house somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It might be on the wall of my house. Some mom in the Outer Banks is like, I already said that.

I said that. I got it tattooed on my lower back. I made it at pottery class. I got drowned in the shallow end. It's either you're not seeing an easy way out of, like, a sticky situation or you're making things worse in your mind than they actually are. Yeah, I like that. It's a beautiful thing. A parked car don't pay the meter.

Keep moving. Keep on moving. If you get too complacent, it'll hurt you. That's fantastic. You can code switch any color. Yes. I like that. Yeah.

It's old. That's great. The plane feels slower at the top. When you start doing better, it's hard to see that you're still making good progress. you know when you're up in a plane it like looks like you're going slow yeah yeah that is true i never understand that actually when i'm in an airplane um i have uh no matter how far you get out of the radius the bar will still keep a tab yes that's good that's a that's a good one that's a good one yeah you can run away you know you can run away but you know you can leave the bar but

you still have a tab yeah yeah yeah i know i didn't have to add the radio i was like i know that word i know i know when you do circumference or am i getting greedy um i got i got a bonus one flossing with barbed wire i did we i feel like you did that i'm glad i'm glad that i'm glad it's a bonus one yeah that's a good one uh all right we are gonna wrap up with rusty's songs of the day or song of the day today i got bless the telephone by lobby sifre uh it's a very short song but it's basically about you know when your partner goes to work uh and you miss them and how much you love the moment when they call you and you get to hear their voice so relatable i will add i will add that to the playlist and you can go listen uh you

work for like an hour a day right yes just make sure yes grace do you want to plug anything before we wrap up where can people find you what are you up to we got a a podcast of my own where I play a a

a talk show host it's I'm figuring it out and so you guys can watch me figure that out it's it'll get better and

let me tell you you are quite the salesman I know I'm just being honest man I think it's great and now people are like is it that bad I gotta check it out

you know and then I'm on tour right now so if you could pop onto my social media Grace K. O'Malley and come find me I hate this part.

Are you doing shows in LA? Me and Liam are going to go down and do La Jolla. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That was sick. Well, thank you for coming. Thanks for having me, boys.

This was great. My sisters make a wish came true. It was great. Do you want to come say hi? Come say hi. You can sit next to Grace. Come here, girl. Oh, perfect.

Yeah. All right. We love you guys. Have a great rest of... Whose personality are you stealing? Oh, yeah. We try and figure out whose personality

we're gonna steal for the rest of the week i'm gonna go or grace do you have one um willie anybody but me well i think mine um secretariat um interesting i don't even know if he's real he's real right secretariat he's like the jordan of horses duh the jordan of the jordan of forces uh i'm gonna steal andrew's personality because i'm gonna i'm gonna you bring a very positive attitude everywhere andrew and i'm gonna and he's been giving me snacks you got that true I think I'm gonna go with Mr. Robin Hood Mr. Rogers

Mr. Rogers we were both like on board too yes finally somebody I'm trying to make people feel weird about me even though I'm just being good I think we do that pretty well

the Burger King mascot oh yes I love it Okay, guys, have a great rest of your Wednesday. Have a great rest of your week. Get crazy on the weekend, and we'll see you bright and early on Monday. Grace, thanks so much for coming on.

Thanks for having me, boys. Thank you, guys. Great stuff. All right, that was great.