Will & Rusty's Playdate - we play playdate bingo!

Episode Date: May 6, 2026

PLAY PLAYDATE BINGO ALONG WITH US: https://mfbc.us/m/hh3z3qx  Thank you Orlando Magic and goodr! SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/@playdatepod?sub_confirmation=1  MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/  PAID PARTNERSHIPS: [e-mail]  GUESTS AND INQUIRIES ONLY: [e-mail] Playdate: https://www.instagram.com/playdate.pod https://www.tiktok.com/@playdatepod Willy: https://www.instagram.com/willdonnellon https://www.tiktok.com/@willydonnellon Rusty: https://www.instagram.com/featherstonerusty https://www.tiktok.com/@rustyfeatherstone Andrew: https://www.instagram.com/andrew_nelson_ SUBMIT YOUR BUSINESS PITCH HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdPHd7Ps9TaX-TOozyLhDpr9Y7pFNMP9PX7cHuLxap1R78GWg/viewform?usp=header SUBMIT YOUR AITA STORY HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdQElfqdQutn3dzl5HcZfey6YWhbVd-n6XE7FkpfosWZyYhyA/viewform?usp=sf_link SUBMIT YOUR CONFESSIONS HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSedx06Mo5EBt7WJAehTXwRoF3JzP0T7-kiDvYOphgxaPvtzKQ/viewform?usp=publish-editor  SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: You don’t have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/pd  If you’re ever injured, you can check out Morgan & Morgan.  Their fee is FREE unless they win.  Yes, that’s right… FREE For more information go to https://FORTHEPEOPLE.COM/PLAYDATE or DIAL # LAW. New customers get 40% Off with code PLAYDATE at https://GLD.com 00:00 - intro 1:09 - thank you Orlando Magic! 18:52 - kentucky derby 27:51 - company softball 35:30 - grindr 41:02 - Andrew’s pokemon card results 48:24 - roadmap 49:35 - pitches 1:04:15 - confessions 1:12:03 - do I need a lawyer 1:17:39 - this guy rocks 1:24:04 - teach me something 1:24:56 - worst things to say on a first date 1:25:34 - birdcalls that don’t exist #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

that's like our version of how old heads will be like have you ever watched the dark side or have you ever listened to the dark side of the moon with wizard of oz playing we can tell our kids that they can go listen to money trees and it's just silver soul in reverse you know we're rolling yeah oh she wanted all this playdate fuck you i got your ass i know some hungry playmates out there eating lunch guys come at lunch if you're eating lunch right now if you're hungry hungry caterpillar come give me lunch right now if you're hungry if you're if you're reading hungry hungry caterpillar come have lunch with me please playdate episode 208 207 it's our housing crash oh it's our

oh it's our it's our Kevin Garnett or no it's our Kevin Durant it's our Tony Kukoc or Tony Tony

Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Carmelo Anthony episode here's a question please speaking of the NBA we gotta talk about what happened

so might be the worst weekend of my life Friday morning three beautiful packages show up at the office from none other than

the Orlando Magic right that wasn't even what I was talking about that was awesome so continue oh the celtics lost yes okay orlando magic tennessee's beautiful jerseys the beautiful uh note do you have the note with you andrew i do yes can i read it yes and they custom jerseys mine says rice pilaf with the number two awesome yours is featherstone

with the number one you don't have like a thing like i do yeah that i don't have like a thing with a number maybe they can do like beers and then the number is 12 that could have been good would you want that no and then Andrew got Banan which I got Banan

which I'm wearing cannot believe and they sent us a card okay from the team they sent some other shit too

they sent me Lulu shorts I was wearing they sent a jersey for Birdie so I was laughing that Birdie like no one in my house

is a Magic fan but we like could all watch it because Birdie's a fan yeah dear Shaq Penny and T-Mac what's the worst part

about being an NBA fan that's right they shoot too many threes don't play hard enough on defense and too few teams have a great theme song well we present you the orlando magic an exciting hard-nosed defensive team with a magical green dragon mascot and the best victory song in the league don't believe us just press the button in your box took the button home by the way it plays orlando magic orlando magic orlando magic orlando magic oh orlando magic and says don't believe us just press it on your box we know you've got the mets boston and dallas teams but there's always room for a little magic next time you're at epcot or visiting family in central florida we want to invite you

out to a game and they said they'll got plenty of beers and they'll roll out a blue carpet that's awesome for us uh and they sent us a bunch of gear and they said heads up we have a great rookie named noah penda who wears jersey jersey number 96 keep that in your pocket for episode 296 love that they're thinking 90 episodes ahead i'm i'm i'm i'm excited they didn't trust the postal service so they they hedged they went for 296 i just can't i just thought it was very thoughtful and i bring this all up because i got so excited i got caught up in magic fever i saw and so i wore my jersey and my shorts and the hat they sent me and i went i left work at early to go to a bar for the game because i was like fuck it i'm a magic i don't know i'm a knicks fan i am a

knicks fan but i don't really watch the nba right so i figured i got nothing against the orlando of magic go to a bar get some friends there we'll watch the magic game they're up 62 to 28 and i had plans with my friends so i was like all right i think i i watched enough to lock in the wind go home change out of all my gear go to a dinner i am in a waymo to silver lake checking the score on my phone and oh my god they scored 17 points after i stopped watching they had 62 they scored 17 points the whole rest of the second half the whole entire second half after i stopped watching and i lost by 14 okay there are a couple ways to look at this do you think i shouldn't have taken off the jersey do you think you were good luck when you had the jersey on yeah do you

think you're you were bad luck the whole time i think i i think i should not have taken off the jersey i think that was a bad omen i think i fucked them and then they lost yesterday so they're now out of the play their season is now over in the blink of an eye i was an orlando magic fan for 48 hours i mean i'm still a fan best 48 hours of your life though it was unreal and they fired their coach today yeah i went to he's probably the one who sent us this the coach yeah he's a huge playmate yeah i would like to think that there were a lot of magic fans at at school with me obviously yeah and they the amount of times i heard the orlando magic theme song it is infectious by the way like did that exist when you were in college i think it was like it had either been

kind of flying under the radar or it was when i was like a sophomore in college it came out because it was on 24 7 during basketball season and it's amazing i can understand how you got there because or magic fever is a real thing i was listening to it in the car just driving around it's a good song it's a good song but they're they're the vibe in orlando and generally but more specifically the magic yeah i understand how you got caught up in it the three and d tarts and it's a great shade of blue i know and it's a cool jersey and it's the rice pilaf two jerseys all time yeah rice pilaf and then the number two i mean that's just i do explain rice pilaf two to my dad because he called me and he was like what's up with the magic jerseys and i was like i was

like oh they just sent some stuff it's pretty cool they sent stuff for birdie whatever and uh he was like what willie says rice peel off too he's like what is that all about and i told him instead of just sending him the video i just told him because we were on the phone and he loved it he loved my rendition of it so i would assume he'd love to read it anymore i just am proud of uh the team and all their work this year paulo and desmond bain and i didn't have the sound on when i was watching so i'm not totally wagner brothers the wagner brothers um did i ever tell you my my my wagner what else is that uh rusty we're sure the wagner brothers would love to see you again i i i i did a little magic curse of my own i think it was like the day after he got drafted or that

summer he had just got drafted by the magic yeah and his older brother mo and i are at bungalow in santa monica and which is funny if you know bungalow yeah it's not the only time i've gone is with him yeah and we had a table and then the table next to us was like nba guy other nba guys so it was like some guys from work and mo mo wagner and then duncan robinson and his crew were at the table next to us so we can join tables we're having oh yes a little bit of fun mo's like dude, my brother just got drafted. He's going to come meet us here. Uh, and I was like, that's awesome. I'll get a tray. I'll get some margaritas. And so the lady, the waitress comes over and I was like, uh, can we get, you know, however many margaritas. And so it was a huge tray. It was

like this big. Cause there were a lot of people. And right as he gets there, Franz, the margaritas are also arriving. And I stood up to shake his hand and knocked 32 margaritas onto his, onto his, feet one for each team that passed him up and he had it was right when the travis scott jordans had come out and so i soaked his new shoes and i obviously do not have a lot of money i had less at this time as well and so i'm like freaking out because i forgot all these guys are like million multi-millionaires and he literally it didn't it didn't even he didn't even bat an eye just took them off and was like it doesn't matter at all that's awesome and now and now we're magic fans and now i'm eight years later i'm a magic fan can we talk about my pants oh yeah i love them

they're cash right yeah where'd you go guess gap guess the last it's a mall store and it's the last place i it's i feel like it kind of goes against everything i believe in banana republic no i surprisingly like banana republic oh i thought you meant like maybe like in like the other sense of the word oh you wait what banana republics is like what they call like the like it's like the islands right no no it's like down to the banana republics i only know it from jimmy buffett he says that well it was like a word i think that developed when like the u.s was like exploiting these and it was like derogatory like it was like they were controlling the government so they control their exports of like bananas among other things and so it's a funny name for

a brand because i don't think it's like a very like kind of taboo or it's just like it's like a derogatory like the banana republics are like they've shammed governments to facilitate got it cheap exports to the u.s basically got i mean here's the deal but i only know it from from that and jimmy buffett's hit song banana republics h&m abercrombie and fritch bitch fringe and uh i went in there and i liked i liked the vibe they've mellowed out a little bit there's not yeah cologne everywhere anymore or there still is cologne there but it is not like it's bottled up yeah and uh i just like the way they fit i was kind of walking around with like a new pep in my step this weekend i've heard they make good stuff yeah it was awesome scott got some new

pants i like from h&m too i don't think i've ever been i don't either i didn't even know you could as a boy i'm gonna be honest they shoot you on site no i just didn't even know they had boy close oh oh oh got it got it i partied pretty hard this weekend what'd you do um on oh man this is gonna i might have to work backwards okay so yesterday was just kind of dealing with the aftermath no partying yesterday yeah good a little bit of weed but that's great saturday i woke up at four in the morning and we went and played golf right at four in the morning we the first hole was in the dark it was awesome what your tea time was what 5.20 maybe?

Oh my God. I know. With who? Footy and our buddy Jordy. Got it. And had a great time, but was very sleepy after. Should have gone to bed.

Yeah. What I did instead was I went to the mall with Flan for errands. Rookie mistake. Sounds like hell. It was awful. I was there for two hours. Couldn't believe how long it was taking.

Got these pants and I got a hoodie and then Flan got some stuff. go where did we go after oh we went to busby's and started boozing my tail off next thing i know i forgot to eat lunch and i was like i'm getting drunker than i should be right now so i tried to have so i tried to save it with some last minute nachos yeah but i think the damage was already done we then go play simulator golf which was a mistake and uh and after that i went out on the town and just partied till the break of dawn where'd you go i went to a house party for a second if you want to be a homebody rusty's coming to your house party alex grade and

i were singing that song one time and the he had one of those receivers that we were just talking about them where it's on like 88.1 yeah and it cut out right on the house party chorus and my voice cracked and this was probably 10 years ago and he still brings it up every time i see him but so i went to a house party and the people i knew that were going there were in the uber behind us so there was 10 minutes of explaining that i wasn't breaking into their house party got it then i went to townhouse you know i i've been like anti-shoes lately yeah no flip-flops are allowed after like 6 p.m so i had to pay the guy the bouncer to let me go in and then i realized what i had done because i don't even really like that bar that much like after six o'clock and so

i just lost money how much did you have to pay him to know i literally i think i'd throw up my hands if i told you right now i have to know how much you paid to wear flip-flops to tell us i'm sorry so i tried to barter as probably is an important jumping off point yeah landed this number it was not the number i wanted to pay obviously it's a hundred dollars that was more than a hundred dollars i was actually i woke up like sick to my stomach because it's not a hundred dollars no it's 150 but i came at him i was like i'll give you 20 bucks if i can wear my flip-flops and he was like if someone drops a bottle and it and it cuts your foot like i get fired and i was like a hundred dollars and he was like we don't do that here it was like 150 dollars and he was

like yeah sure so i've been mooted and i woke up oh my god 150 dollars to wear that's just like a funny to wear your flip-flops in a normal bar it's not like an exclusive place it's not there's no line to get in there was a normal amount of patrons in there that's awesome and i'm no stranger to buying stupid things or spending too much money on drinks or whatever and i can deal with that anxiety in the morning something about it being just to wear the shoes i was wearing and there are a hundred bars within shouting distance of where you're sitting like we could have just gone somewhere that allowed flip-flops hanano's is like i don't know if they let you in if you're not wearing yeah i plug in oh that's all i was so so mad at myself oh well i partied my nuts off

too on friday i uh we went i went to venice beach bar for the magic game yep and that kind of put me above i met up with all my friends and no one else had been at venice beach bar for hours watching the magic game you were playing a man down yeah and then we went to bakari and silver lake okay restaurant they have i've never even heard of this as like an adult can i guess yeah is it some sort of like all you can eat all you can drink thing yeah it's all you can i mean it's just that it's all you can drink anything 32 dollars all you can drink for 90 minutes they'd be bankrupt by the by monday if i knew which is like what that i've never even heard of that i mean it's only you can only do like house wines or like one lager or something but like still

that's insane so we're drinking you're telling me you write them a check for 32 dollars you're you can stay there and drink their alcohol as long as you want 90 minutes oh okay but it's still a it's a restaurant so you're there for dinner got it got it it's not like you're at a bar it's like 90 minutes all you can drink do you think they're making money on that deal or is it just like they know your hungry ass is gonna get apps after i don't know i was our problem was we we had like a we had two reservations because we had such a big party because i had like a ton of friends from college i had like six friends staying in my house this weekend oh damn yeah and then we met up Like, check came because it was right by his house and blah, blah, blah.

Anyway, we had a smaller table, and they had a bigger table. And after dinner, the bigger table, they did not... Because, oh, the other thing about the all-you-can-drink is everyone at your table has to do it. $32 a person. Yeah. So they know, like, there are going to be some people who are going to drink, like, less. Got it. Because you can't have one guy, like, I'll do the all-you-can-drink, and everyone's like, I'll just do water.

And then he's, you know, it'd be like... But the whole table, there were a few people who weren't drinking, so they didn't get it, but we had it. And then afterwards, they were like... We converge, and they're like, oh, my God, we are so stuffed. That food was amazing. And we're like, we had, like, three appetizers, and we're just drinking white wine by the carafe. Forgot to eat by the what?

The carafe. You know those, like, a carafe? No. Andrew, you know, like, a carafe? No. I don't know. Google that word. C-R-A-F-E.

Is it a unit of measurement? C-A-R-A-F-E. Is it a unit of measurement? No, it's like a unit. One carafe? Click the did you mean. We're drinking carafe beer. Yeah, yeah.

There it is. Oh, it's like a decanter kind of thing? It's a carafe. Go to images. You got to work with me here a little bit. You can't be saying- It's one of those. It's a vase?

Yeah, I didn't know those had a name. Got it. So, a plant puts her flowers in a carafe. No, that's a vase. This is like for a liquid. You never gotten like a wine that'll come in like one of those? I always thought it was just a decanter. What's a decanter?

You pour your wine in a decanter Oh no, the decanter is like the wide thing at the bottom Decanted, I guess Decanter is like a different shape What does it do? It aerates it? I don't fucking know anymore Alright, anyway So that was a lot of fun

And then we went to break room 86 And I got a private karaoke room for us It was awesome And having the time of our lives all of a sudden who walks in but edge and armand kid you not into the private karaoke room with me and all my college friends these are two of our bosses how do they know you're in that room so chet and dylan were meeting us there because like chatted to go grab something i forget exactly what happened and they ran into

edge and armand and silver lake before they called the uber and they were like come with us so we who yeah edge armand dylan chet walk in melts the house down there was a lady walking around with a camera and she would like take a photo print it out and like put a little paper frame on it and like i forget i bought a bulk deal so i spent a lot you know less than you spent to get into townhouse but i was buying a lot of photos uh but i get the i look at all the photos next morning there's like one of just armand singing and then one of me on edge's lap and i look so drunk and i so i i wrote follow your dreams and signed it and i gave it to him this morning uh but it was very fun i went to kiss kiss bang bang okay she's like right

underneath like a nightclub this is all in one night yeah and by the time we got to kiss his bang bang i was i didn't have it in me so i ubered home ahead of my pack uh but it was it was awesome and then the next day we had a barbecue for the kentucky derby oh yeah i invited you and I texted him the group chat Oh you know how bad about group chats are That's fair I didn't even invite you did I I had a great time last year

I feel like an asshole Was this on Saturday It was mostly just like our friends Cause we had a big crew And then I texted an unscripted group chat I didn't I should have invited you Andrew I'm sorry It's not personally better about group chats

Next derby But I was hurting so bad on derby day though that you told me you were at busby's well that was wait was no that must have been you did all that stuff yesterday backed around no you know what happened i watched the derby i missed a huge chunk of that day between golf and busby's was derby and then we went to busby's for the celtics game that makes more sense that makes more sense i wasn't on my phone that's Well, we had a little barbecue for the Derby, and we made a rule that everyone had to bet on Chief Wallaby. There was going to be no competing.

We were all on one page, and he sort of started making a run at the end. He ended up getting fourth, but it was very fun. But then our buddy Kai was there, and he, on the side, had put... He had asked... Dylan had, like... I guess horse racing is actually legal here? betting sorry betting on horse racing got it is legal here through like specific apps and dylan had it and so he was placing some bets for people and kai asked him to put 20 bucks on golden

tempo and he did it and then so then kai was like oh and kai had had he was down bad the most after friday night he had gone to like a rave until six in the morning and so he was like all right not not feeling his best and then he won we all lost then he was like oh my god i won five hundred just for now dylan goes on his phone bet never went through oh so what do you do in that scenario if a guy was supposed to place a bet for you and he didn't place it does that guy have any obligation to pay you know i mean we're all close friends like yeah it's like fuck obviously dylan's not gonna pay him five hundred dollars but pretty it was a bummer um yeah but then then we just went to bed early and then got up at five in the morning on saturday and went to channel

island i saw that national park that looked sick so sick is that like edge's favorite spot he's never been who was just someone was just were you telling me you wanted to go to channel islands maybe yeah it looks awesome it was it it reminded me of like being on like the coast of ireland it was like it looks game of thrones yeah it kind of sounds game of thrones the channel i will take the channel islands yeah it was sick you take it's like an hour drive and you take a ferry and then for like an hour and then the problem is the only return ferry that wasn't sold out was a noon one so we got there at nine and then we had to be back at noon so we had to like speed run a hike but it was very cool there's tons of birds like there's birds there's brown pelicans

there that it's the only place on the western u.s that they like have a colony whoa and at in 1970 they were down to one chick they were super endangered because of like ddt it was like a pesticide uh that was killing them all and then they outlawed ddt and they recovered the population and now they're not even endangered i have a question for you the one chick fucked itself got it no i think i was wondering about that too but i think uh it was a parent and maybe that was the or that i think read it with another pelican i think brown pelicans exist other places in the u.s got on the eastern coast got it are they trapped there like you know some like islands like there are animals that are there and it's like a time capsule because they can't get anywhere

else no i think they fly to the coast it's i i'm not positive but there were some we saw some cool birds i'll tell you that and we got this app so i might try to get into birding is it the thing where you hold it and it'll tell you what bird yeah there's a there's a country artist that i saw talking about that app and i downloaded it and i every time i'm around birds i forget to take it out is it merlin or is it burda oh it's like white and orange i think it might be merlin okay yeah we got both of them we were fucking around with bird apps it was awesome what do you prefer i don't know dylan had i didn't have any service so it was on dylan's phone but you need service that makes sense to download the apps got it but anyway now i want to watch now

i'm going to watch this document i still don't watch it we gotta watch it all of us have to watching called listers okay it's about two guys like us who just decided to jump off the deep end fully into birding what are they what about them is like they're like 25 year old like podcasters that i don't they're not podcasters but they've never like birded and so they just kind of like they go from literally not knowing anything to living in a van traveling across the country to participate in a big year contest are they oh it's like most amount of birds in a year that's like the big uh and it's all but it's all honor system but it's like super intense and competitive but it's all honor system i'd worry the the i'd worry some

rich guy who can go everywhere in the world would just win every year yeah probably but i was just thinking that'd be like a fun hobby to get into because then you could like start to like do vacations around it it's like pokemon go but irl it's irl pokemon go and i used to like pokemon go but i just thought it looks like a fucking dweeb so i stopped it'd be a fantastic excuse to go to cool places yeah like give you something to do when you're there yeah i mean usually when i'm on vacation i feel like i want i want to do nothing right i want to find birds yeah maybe i'll want that's kind of our that's kind of our key difference no i mean it might be i don't know i'm considering it becoming my new thing maybe i'll maybe i'll maybe i'll listen

in Hawaii? For birds. They probably have them there. Do they have birds in Hawaii? I don't think so. I was thinking it was Hawaii, but I think I was mixing it with Moana. I think Rio is in

Brazil. Here's a question. I had this idea for a joke and I couldn't figure out how to formulate it so I'm just going to give you the raw. You know how the Trump thing um the guy tried to shoot him or whatever and then they were saying that it was just because he wanted like a new ballroom yeah you know you see that yeah so it's something about like

telling my friends at the bar someone tried to kill me so we can get a bar at our house or something so you know what i mean it's pretty good or telling my maybe it's telling my landlord someone tried to kill me at the bar so we got to build one at my house i can have a bar at my wait so is his his argument is that because was this off the grounds it was like at the uh hilton ballroom nearby got it that seems like don't they do like proms at like a hilton ball yeah i also think it's the same place where they try to kill where they got shot reagan yeah i'd say maybe we start going to like the mayor like the first good stop would be maybe like moving to the marriott yeah would be my but i'm also i also have bon boy points now so i'm biased do you get one of those

credit cards too no you just get signed like i'm part of all these uh perks perks i'm like really deep in the perks i'm off those perks right now uh so no i didn't i only have the one but i uh am now signed up for all sorts of i'm a part of what is it called the leaders club or something i don't know they just signed you up for what is that marriott no no it's it's like i got an email that was like welcome to the leaders club from who from the leaders club what does that mean i don't know i didn't look into it yet what is the latest the leaders club membership when did you sign up for i didn't i didn't sign up for it they find you it's like the illuminati all right it's just another travel thing yeah you get pre-arrival upgrades leaders

club point you're in the leaders i mean this is this i i will say it made me laugh i thought maybe maybe they had just seen me kind of like commanding a room and they're like you have to have you're welcome to the leader rallying like everyone to uber to the bar yeah we gotta we gotta work on i think now that i'm a member i think i'd like at our next board meeting i'd maybe bring up shifting like some marketing of it though because for the whole week until this moment i didn't even know it was a travel thing i thought i'd just walk into i don't understand i still have no idea what even you're saying you got an email saying you're in the leaders club now just say and i mean they phrased it a little more eloquently but that was the gist of it

it was like welcome to the leaders club i'm not even in anything i'm on a softball team i think it's kind of like being on a softball team but like for leaders Andrew, are you playing softball this year? I am, yeah. I've just missed so many games. Are you coming tonight? What time is it? 7.15.

Are you guys still... Why not? Are you still winless? We've only played one game. Oh, okay. So winless. But we got walked off in the bottom of the seventh. I really hesitated with signing up this season

because I think we lost every game this season. Nah, we're good this year, though. We got better, dude. Nate's an asset. Really? Nate's an asshead Nate's an asshead Zoe played softball

In college What Yeah She was catcher right Yeah Every time I went There was like Seven people that would show up

We could never Yeah That is a bummer I think it was just There was fatigue But I think we took a break And now Now everyone's excited

There's more momentum Yeah Team's been playing pretty well There's the The new third baseman Has been lights out He's really getting his glove together And it's

It's starting to make a difference and sam barrett at second yeah i stay are you guys gonna take jb off the bump after his walk off no no you got to show confidence in your guy you know what i mean also pitching no one wants to pitch i used to pitch and it's awful it's the worst does anyone ever get hit no but it's like back up like back up the middle towards the pitcher oh oh oh yeah yeah but if it hits the pitcher it's an out fucking nightmare bobby used to wear a mask but jb's bad yeah if you hit it anywhere close to the pitcher it's an out yeah i've had that wait you know what i actually read in the rules buzz the pitcher or if you get it close yeah yeah it's an out because they don't

want that to ever be a thing but it's like you can't really control it either i think if you're good you can aim oh okay i can't but yeah i was like other people can i think yeah yeah at all i are people in baseball really aiming like shohei otani is like i'm gonna drive this one left yeah like if the outfield like shifted they'll try to like hit one to the other side kind of thing i again i thought they were just swinging it's above our pay grade way but i can't even imagine doing that especially with that 100 mile an hour it's in slow pitch softball i'm like okay yeah i can actually see how that might be possible you just swing sooner if you want to hit a left yeah i uh i made a vow last year to come watch you guys and have a beer while you played and i

just never got around to it but i think i would like to do it this year is it every monday yeah let me know when there's like a big a big game maybe yeah like i want to bring i want to bring flan to one where like she'd be impressed yeah edge and jack came to uh our championship the year we won and jack doesn't jack's profile picture is him holding the trophy oh yeah as the owner yeah team owner and they and then we tried to expense a bat and they declined it yeah flan uh Flan told me the other day when we get to our... Flan, your girlfriend. My girlfriend, Flan, told me that when we get to our hotel

that there's going to be a carrot cake waiting for me. I feel like that falls under surprise category. I was about to say that. She just couldn't hold it in. She's not good at secrets, which is a good trait for a girlfriend. But, yeah, frustrating for surprises. Secret secrets are no fun unless they're shared with everyone. wow yeah are you guys coming to the show tonight or tomorrow night i am i have to look today because

they said we have to buy our own tickets and then expense them i'm gonna see if there are any more available there's a bunch i will be there then sweet um we booked a table which i'm really excited about yeah who all uh it's me liz izzy and i think binder fun dream team the ratio is gonna be fucked yeah need more guys in there wait so is it how much is a table uh i don't liz bought i think it was like 300 or something oh my fuck but for four people yeah i mean the tickets are you guys gonna be like millionaires after this no we're gonna get like zero money by the time the company gets it netflix or the venue the company is the company doing anything to with like the booking or no uta the got it they just get a cut of everything that's actually a good

point do you get a cut of ticket sales at all yeah but by the time okay even already live shows are like hard to make like a lot of money off of just because there's already but we have the venue gets cut the agency gets cut the company gets a cut and then there's six of us performing so then we split what's left six ways so there we i've never really made we've never actually made any and angus got that contract where he gets like 60 and angus gets half and then gets still a sixth of what's left yeah i didn't know that they would take money from live events too yeah that's interesting that is interesting are we selling merch anything they can get their hands on just kidding i love you guys please i heard that's how like artists make all their money it's like

merch yeah but we're not like selling merch at them because we get we split six percent of merch sales six ways so okay it's not really we're not really incentivized to sell merch right and like people can just buy it online if they want it that's true you could still sell a lot though yeah i was saying that it would be fun to do like limited edition shirts but i think people generally like sounds like a lot of work for something that you know it's not like we have a tour run where it's like we don't sell them all then we right bring them to the next show because we don't really know what the future is going to be like so i always like um when the opener hangs out at the merch table after their show at a concert yeah that's the best to sell

their own merch yeah because like that's where they make all their money so i used to work these concerts all the time where even like the headliner sometimes like if they were like an independent artist like i worked for this guy aaron watson and he would hang out like three hours after the show at the merch table and like talk with every single person that bought merch and would like sign everything that they bought and he would do it for hours and hours and hours and we would have to just hang out with him the whole time until he was done until the line was like zero people oh my god that's how you how you build a fan base yeah first time i met mount joy they were selling merch at what concert rks concert you got any plans to see rks yeah i got tickets

july 21st i got two vip tickets at the greek which the and it comes with like a pit it's like a pit ticket with the vip thing yep and the pit at the greek is like 50 people it's sick so you can be like literally barricade and like go pee and get a beer and come back oh nice that they also uh they like we like brought a bunch of beers from the vendor things we wouldn't have to like go up during tyler and they like hold them for you and like poured them in like cups and stuff like there's a little bar thing in the oh pit vip pit area whatever is it seated or standing standing it's like a pit wait you went to tyler the greek right that was the hollywood bowl yeah who's who's playing in the hollywood bowl this year shane gill's from tonight wait or wait is

that it was for football like maybe oh like the hollywood bowl yeah uh willie and i received word we are now being advertised on grinder wait i i was like kind of i confused when i read that text i don't i thought you meant like someone made a fake profile for us no it sounds like you know you're swiping trying to find some hot stud to like yeah you know plow you or whatever or get plowed by you or you plow them you're plowing them or maybe two two i don't know how they do it on but uh but apparently like in between hot stud muffins is an ad of us i don't know for what i don't know what we're saying about it the guy doesn't remember but uh yeah the guy doesn't remember my sister called me with like her friend oh who's on grinder and he was like yeah it's like

you know doing what i do on grinder and uh an ad of you and will popped up huh so i don't know is it like friday beers connected i would imagine it's a bad mgm ad i feel like it's the only stuff that is not coming directly from us um but i don't know i don't know did he swipe right i don't know i don't know hey man gay people love basketball too i once saw a gay man dunk hand hand to god hand to god couldn't believe it jason collins Carl Nassib why can't gay men bet on sports

in fact I knew a gay man I kid you not I knew a gay man who bet on the Super Bowl it's about as big as it gets look at him now should we road map it up

can I but I'm down can we just pee first can I pee first can we pee first can we pee first this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. May is Mental Health Awareness Month, as you might know. And with that, we want to talk

about it a little bit. So it is a reminder that whatever you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. Life is a journey. Some days feel good and others can feel a little bit overwhelming. So whatever is keeping you up at night, it's easy to feel like you have to figure it out all on your own. But the truth is, no one has all the answers and no journey should be alone. having someone with you to listen to understand and to support you can make all the difference i'll tell you something i got something that's been keeping me up at night the new york mets i had so much of my it's embarrassing but i care a lot about them and now i don't know what to do with myself i'll actually you know what here's a real one i'll

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For a limited time only, new customers are getting an insane deal. Use code PLAYDATE to get 40% off at GLD.com. That's 40% off with code PLAYDATE at GLD.com. After you purchase, they will ask where you heard about them. Please support our show. tell them that we sent you let's get back into the episode all right roadmap in the middle of the night andrew did you even did you bet on the derby at all did you watch it or i didn't even know what's happening to be honest i was pretty preoccupied what were you doing i'm glad that

you guys asked uh i made 1400 selling my pokemon cards no way you were just gonna not bring that up you guys didn't ask me how my weekend was he's right that's fair that's fair that was a test wait i thought you had already sold them for nothing i i did i did but they invited me to a trade show and so i went to their trade show this weekend and there were a bunch of different vendors with a bunch of different people that like a bunch of different cards got it and i was the only guy there with like the old era cards everyone else had new era cards and i sold one card for a thousand dollars wait so when you went in the first time and they said they give you like a couple hundred bucks or whatever did you just be like all right never mind then no no i took the i

took the money that they gave me they they just like didn't want to pay for the other cards because it's all like supply and demand right so the cards that you the card that you sold for a thousand dollars they didn't even want at all exactly the first time yep so are they bad businessmen or this was just a group of people that you only have access to at like trade shows I think it largely depends on, like, what kind of cards they like, what kind of cards sell well at their store, and then what kind of supply they have. And I think that this particular store that I went to just doesn't sell, like, old era cards. But there's some vendors at these trade shows that do buy old era cards. So, did you, like, did they, like, take a cut of your, like, did you stand at someone's, like, table and they were like, you can use my space if you?

No, it was, like, all the vendors had tables and then you went around. And I would just have to go up to each vendor. and be like and i would have to like pretend i was like interested in buying the cards and i'd be like oh that's a cool card and then i'd be like by the way are you like buying at all you know would you want to like check out my cards and they're very suspicious like when you ask them if you if they're buying they're like well uh depends on what you're selling wait why are they what are they suspicious i don't know i think they might just be like like playing hard to get wait how'd you i gotta know about this thousand dollar card what did you start at um i think like

3 000 but i think like i had based all my prices based on like mint condition because i was like i don't know what's right condition and what's not and they're gonna talk me down no matter what so i was like let me just put the bar as high as i possibly can and then i'll concede to whatever they give me so i think i had a listed for like three thousand dollars or something like that and uh the guy was like well it's gonna cost me like three hundred dollars to repair certain damages on this card and they do they repair it apparently you can there were like some folds and some scratches that apparently you could repair for like three hundred dollars yeah huh um and he gave me a thousand dollars for it and that was like done deal but what car was it it was like

this star vaporion i think i showed it last it sounds sick i don't even know what it is i'm already uh it was ready to write you a check apparently there's like a hundred in the world or something oh my god yeah this one's full for 1700 um i just wanted to get them off my hands but i still have a lot that i haven't sold yet but i got to a point where i was going from like table to table and everyone was like no i'm good i'm good i'm good are people using this might be a really dumb question are people using like expensive cards in like tournaments the same way like you'd buy like expensive golf clubs to go use i don't think people like play it no i think it's purely collectible yeah because like i would i would like a line of cards where the most

expensive ones are the ones that are like op you could buy your way into like being the best player yeah people were telling me they were like you can keep them because they'll only appreciate value and i was like that just can't be true like there's no way that this fad lasts any longer than like the next five years i think it could last but it's also like why give yourself the headache of like i just think everyone that's buying cards right now like is gonna start family soon and gonna start having to like buy houses that might be the college fund that might be the college fund there might be a there might be a world where where they own this is the only form of currency we're gonna be able to pay our kids tuition in yeah and you'll be like oh my god it's like oh

you want to take math this semester here's a vaporion love you buddy i love you dude uh it was pretty crazy people were genuinely losing their minds at the trade show about my card like about this one yeah i was like maybe i should have sold it for more because there was one guy sold to and he's like dude the moment you left some kids came by and like bought up the whole collection that you sold to me and i was like damn maybe i should be like selling to the are you allowed to just walk around being like vaporium who wants one i mean i guess in the future i could have like bought a table and like had my collection on a table but it would have cost me 200 versus was the 20 ticket i think you made the right because it was it wasn't like you bought them

for like a gross amount of money like i don't know the problem is with this kind of stuff is you got to spend money to make money so like i should have like spent money to like have them graded and put them in like cases and got it then like buy a table at a vendor but then i'm like after that i'm like down 500 can i say something yeah you've come back from this trade show and we're throwing around things like supply and demand where like you got to spend money to make like are you he's how deep into this world are you impressed i learned more at this trade show than in four years of business i am so mad thinking about how many pokemon cards i had my mom literally made me get rid of them yeah i mean you should what you should do take all that

resentment for your mother hold on to it deep down in this one part of your body like where you can't even think about it and then one holiday just like wait for something to go like a little bit wrong like maybe the christmas tree knock over the christmas tree start burning all the presents take all her candy put it in the stove like they do in willy wonka and be like you can't eat them because you have braces and you start screaming at her and screaming and screaming and just hitting the walls and ripping paintings off the walls and throwing them in the fireplace and taking taking the couch cushions taking all the covers off rolling them up putting them in the fireplace go to the fireplace take that put it in the fireplace in the other room and next thing you

know you'll feel so much better about how she treated you when you were a kid take go upstairs take all her delicates put them in the wash and put it on bulky don't put it on the delicate setting put it on bulky heavy duty take all her shoes put them in the fireplace take your dad put them in the fireplace i don't think my I don't think my washer is a bulky 7 And I don't even have a fireplace Then just forgive her Oh man alright

Alright we got a beautiful episode for you guys today Matt's just won a series First time in a month Come on man It was in LA Angels Angels can fly I have to go on The Voice.

I tried, dude. They said you have to drive there and I don't have Uber credits. All right, we got a beautiful episode for you guys today. We're going to hear your pitches followed by our pitches. Then we're going to do

This Guy Rocks followed by Teach Me Something. Yeah. Andrew, should we do some confessions? Yeah, we have a lot of good ones. All right, then we'll do Do I Need a Lawyer? brought to our friends by friend morgan morgan then willie and i are gonna do worse things to

say on a first date more worse things to say on the first date yep and bird calls that don't exist yep let's get into it buddy come on all right pitches i'll be paula abdul i'll be crank Crandy. Crandy Watkins. You know Randy Jackson is Michael Jackson's brother. Can you give me a second? Can you cut the cameras for a second? Yeah, you fucking...

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. All right, we're back. And that's how we fight down in Charleston. Can you actually cut the cameras for a second? This is a good old-fashioned Charleston fight. Yeah. All right, let's hear a pitch.

All right. greetings haha clinton and dicks dicks dicks i'll be in what i'll be clinton what's the worst part about crosswalks oh man crosswalks no one coming or no no one coming but still says stop don't want to be a rule breaker so you stay that bitch ass on the inside saying wait wait uh you got it it cycles through the whole traffic signal pattern again when you miss the time frame to cross but you could definitely still make it introducing the patented i promise i'll be quick button it switches on the walk signal but only for 10 seconds this is perfect for when you're on a run or even emergencies when you need to get across and you know you can make

it keep up the good work and p.s i'm thinking the ipi bq button is made of jeans jeans yeah so it'd be a way to repurpose i mean there's so many jeans that you get holes in them and stuff and it's just like a waste right i like this i don't wait i think i need someone to explain it to me again i think it's like even if traffic is going you can press it just for 10 seconds and and you'll be like i'll be there i'll be gone in a second and then you guys can keep driving i'm operating on the assumption that it's like there's traffic isn't going yeah it's just like go i'm gonna be honest i love you i love you but i don't get it and i think that's a me problem i don't think it's a here's my my beef with people i think people don't realize that if you don't

the only thing that hitting that button does is that when it is your turn it'll turn the walk thing on it doesn't let does it change the like light pattern i thought it does i thought some it does because the for you remember that like glorious two-week period where when you'd press it here it would just automatically go yellow and then now it's back to normal but it did do that for a second where like it was or it would it would like give you priority really i always thought it was a sensor's thing because my my light as well if i'm driving to get out of my street won't turn won't turn yellow until you pull up to the thing no it's 100 for cars i'm saying that the only thing at least for 90 of those buttons the only thing it does is that

it makes it walk when it's your turn to walk and if you haven't pressed the button it'll still show the hand even though it's your god so cars can turn right no it does i mean in theory yeah but like goddess cars still have to yield to you if you're crossing no matter what so if they're turning right so it's like cars have to yield to you if they have a green light if they're turning right no no like let's say like it's telling me it's not my time to walk but i'm but i start walking and a car hits me is that my fault for walking when it tells me

not to or is that their fault for hitting me I think they have to make a reasonable attempt to avoid hitting you they can't like just plow through you like oh there was a kid that we

knew who got hit by a car and he was like a couple feet outside of the crosswalk and he didn't get it was his fault he was like still like it's crazy walking along the path but was

like on one side or the other of it and yeah It's crazy. It could have just been an old folklore that my parents told me. Folklore. Oh, folklore. All right. What is the worst part about being hungover?

Hungry. No, scared. Nervous. Scared. Nervous, anxious. Yeah. Why? Why are you scared, nervous, or anxious?

Because you, for the millionth time in your life, couldn't just stop when it was time to stop and had to have eight more drinks. But what about that? Because it's not just, you're not just anxious that you had too many drinks. You're anxious. You're worried you said something embarrassing. You're worried you said something embarrassing. You're worried you did something embarrassing.

But here's the thing. That only really happens when like everyone's partying. You know what I mean? So you're like playing this game of like, do people even remember that? Am I even remembering that correctly? This is, everyone has to agree to wear this. It's a device on your body. And it transcribes the whole night.

And it can never be hacked. You know one has access to it. but it will in the morning it will be red if there is something bad that people do remember and it will be green if there was something whether there was something bad or not as long as no one there remembers it it's green i like you don't have to worry about like but then wouldn't that just make you more wouldn't you isn't it nice to not know if you did something bad no no because here's the thing it even if you did something bad as long as everyone else there was also fucked up and they don't remember but what if you did something bad and people remember

it then it's red and you have to be like oh fuck but like do you want would you want to have that thing on in that instance i'd rather know yeah i think i'd rather know because what if you what if it's one we sell this but it's just green every day green all the time you're like oh my god another win cash he does he does it again because i you know i like to party more i partied pretty hard and i woke up and was just very nervous about little things where i'm like i don't even know if anyone was listening to me that's another thing it's like sometimes i'm just talking and they probably had their brain off so they weren't even listening and i'm like one was that even that bad two does anyone even remember that because flan was missing parts of the night other people

were missing parts of the night so it's like i would have liked to know you know were any of those things not okay and if so did anyone remember them i this sounds terrifying i'm out but isn't it more terrifying to just wake up and you're just free ball on the rest of the day or it's like who cares at that point uh Because the green also means nothing if it's never red. The red is like, the red lets you know that it's being accurate. I don't know whose discretion is it of what's bad or good. I think maybe there's a button.

It's like a two-button thing. Everyone wakes up and they're like, all right, he's fine. Yeah, all right. I'll slide you a little seed money because I believe in your vision. Thank you. But I don't know if I'm going to wear one Skid markless underwear Poop can't stick to it

It slides down your leg That's actually really good Fuck I should have saved that for next episode It just slides right down your leg Slides right down your leg And maybe if you had skid markless socks and shoes too It just falls on the floor Remote control windows

You're coming home Oh I was picturing the You want a little breeze You open them up or like my thing is i like i leave my windows open like 90 of the time yeah 99 of the time because it like never rains here right so i want to be able to leave my windows open when i leave town and then if i check the weather and i was like oh it's gonna rain and we're set on those noises those noises are non-negotiable

I'm in I like it I like it a lot Because I'm the same way I don't close any windows Yeah I'm shocked you leave them out Because you're on the first floor

In Venice What if like a crazed I mean they're not like open I have like a screen on them Screen isn't gonna stop The things you're worried about Getting in your house I would wake up

I have a gun Under my mattress I have an AK No I don't An AK-47 About that Oh man i like it i like it a lot because i also maybe maybe it's like uh condensate that you know it's

condensation related so there's a little cup maybe condensation precipitation yeah yeah whatever there's a little cup on top and if any water gets in there it just closes itself i mean i like the idea it's like you have an app on your phone it's also like if you're in bed and like okay your neighbors are being loud that night just yeah why do you want to leave your windows open when you leave town i just think my room gets stuffy yeah especially if it's the wall the windows are closed for a long period of time so i just prefer to keep them open and just keep air flow that's what happened to mine i had this like a phantom like leaf phanta phanta leak um it was so sticky phanta leak i had a phanta leak it was so i've never heard of this before but like

apparently if you have like bathroom cleaner that's like aerosol if it gets hot enough it'll just sneak out of the can and just stain everything in your bathroom so now all my cupboards are like completely covered in like bathroom grime bathroom cleaner grime that like won't come out what is it what is what the cleaner it's like um i don't know it's a bunch of chemicals to clean my bathroom oh my god chemicals yeah i i try and keep i try and keep none of that in my house bathroom cleaner none of it wait here's the question where was your pokemon show uh it was in sawtelle oh nice it was like right it was i was picturing you drove like no it was like a five minute walk from my apartment it was awesome yeah and then uh they

did a signing or they were doing a live podcast with this guy who's super famous have you ever heard about this guy who he designed the walls at the facebook headquarters yeah and then the asian guy yes what's his name again uh eddie cho wait what and then what he instead of taking payment for coloring the walls or designing the walls at the facebook office he took facebook stock and he ended up cashing it out for like 220 million yeah and now he has a podcast where he just like sells pokemon cards live with people and you can just stand in line and like go on his podcast whoa uh nope oh from stranger than love was he also in the lord mason king oh man david show david show i like his vibe uh this guy 220 million dollars i would

i would do things with 220 million dollars that would make that would send a shiver down your spine like what like what parachute with no parachute have a guy or sorry skydive without a parachute have a guy catch me midair have a guy parachute without a parachute and catch you in midair i would just have guys skydive without parachutes with no no plan of saving them into the ocean and see how high up before they die yeah yep that would just be that's kind of my knee-jerk reaction i'd have to think about it a little more but that's kind of where my head's at right now uh right if tomorrow i woke up and i had 220 million dollars i donated all the charity But that's just kind of the guy I am

I'd give almost none to the charity I think The first day I'm just being honest Day one Day one's me time Day one I'm giving a million dollars to LeBron James and Telling him to put it towards keeping his body alive

For another season Say here you go little bro I'd just get I'd pay someone for LeBron's number So I could little bro him I would buy The Mets can you do that with 220 no maybe you'd be a fractional owner yeah i am fraction owner the

new it's like a new villain oh my god i was watching scooby-doo two monsters unleashed last night that was the worst fucking movie i've ever seen in my life what tell me we were i'm with all my friends it's their last night and we had been talking about watching get smart which is one of my all-time favorites i love that movie and then they were like or this like we should watch this and i was like all right like i really would rather watch get smart but if you guys want to watch it and they decided to buy this movie and put it on and not it was so bad and literally within 30 minutes all of them are on their phones like you hijacked my movie just to scroll didn't even get halfway through it was horrible it has never occurred to me once to watch it

this guy's insufferable shaggy i didn't realize they made a second one the first one is like iconic spooky island or whatever wait why look at him in that pimp costume you know pimps can't cry what are you talking about pimps can't cry what are you talking about and your google can pimps cry is that like a song or something no they literally can't cry it's like i can't remember the uh pimps don't cry what are you talking about it literally from the other guy ai overview no there was another one I used to listen to this song called Pimps Don't Cry

by K-Killa who was it? I don't know but I really liked it and then the guy who I, this was when I was a pool cleaner and the guy who I was working with who, it's of note

he loved Perks, yeah it was high on Perks that's when he told me this, which I think they normally like most like it's you're in a pretty good mood when you're on purchase i think he finally was just like i don't like this song anymore and so we stopped listening to it i saw a preview for a movie this weekend uh who was the guy that you stole the nail clippers from skylar gisondo you know he's like ariana grande's boyfriend in the next meet the fuckers movie i didn't know any of those things were real really no i i didn't know until this weekend over three on knowing those things

exist i like meet the fuckers oh my god yeah i mean this has to be like what the fifth meet the fuckers movie well there was meet the fuckers there was it's a fourth there was says it right there a fourth there was little fuckers how did you meet him again through a mutual friend there was just one night we all went out to barney's and he was like i'm an actor and i recognized him from he was young sean spencer and psych and i said that and i i think he's in way more like so much other stuff that's way more famous and he was i think he was like i've literally never had anyone say that you should text him once a year and just say still have your nail clippers still have your number text someone every year still have your number just checking still good still

works still the number in case i need anything uh all right should we hear some confessions yes forgive me father for i have sinned in middle school halo had a promotion with mountain dew where under the bottle caps there would be a code in game rewards my friends and i would go to the grocery store and open all the mountain dews to take pictures of the codes and then put them back on the shelves we were never caught hey man we've all had to hustle for what we want in life and i mean i i guess it's not like really bad i think it's like an fda thing because if one of them was sick sure also like you're losing a little carb yeah like venation yeah yeah i mean they can't sell any of those non-dues now but they probably did and then people realized when they got home

that all the seals were broken and so i'd say heaven don't do it again though yeah i think fair game but you were a kid if you do that as a grown-up you gotta go to hell forgive me father for i've sinned in college at night when i would walk through the dorm parking lots i would sometimes pee on the door handles of cars not sure why i used to do that i've since grown out of that behavior okay for but first we want to congratulate you on outgrowing that behavior bless you willie We've all done odd things. I would like to think that maybe you were drunk, but I feel like you'd mention that. So I'd say keep an eye on whatever part of your brain told you to do that.

In the moment, it does not have your best interest in mind. Yeah, listen, I've peed just about everywhere. Car handles? Car handles, a violation. You got to keep it. You got to keep it. Unless it's a targeted attack on someone who deserved it. That would be a fun prank, yeah.

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I was out one night with several friends, and we were all pretty hammered. The bar had gender-neutral bathrooms, and when I went there, it was just my buddy in line behind me. Drunkenly thought it would be funny, I pissed all over the seat and left it for him. The girl he had been talking to all night got in line after he went to the bathroom and gave him the cold shoulder afterwards, thinking he was the one that pissed all over the seat.

I told him it was like that when I got in. Here's the thing. Wait. So he didn't clean it up. The boyfriend also did not clean it up. And let the girl walk in knowing it was going to be a nightmare. I think maybe he didn't realize that she was in line behind him. Either way, the friend who didn't clean up is not the bad guy.

It's not your responsibility to clean up other people's pee at the bar. No, I know, I know. But here's the thing. That is kind of a funny prank. Really? Disgusting. The pee thing at bars, I never thought was funny. my buddy would send me videos oh that was a thing of him peeing at like urinals and just

fully turning around and doing a full circle and then ending in the urinal and i was like you're just like being an asshole to the worker that has to clean it no i don't think that's pete i just pee on the seat is so gross and people do it here at our office and we're all adults and i think those people should go to hell so i think that if i'm gonna be consistent i think that you shouldn't have peed on the seat but i understand it happens when you're hammered yeah i've never heard of that so that's why my gut was like oh that's funny a funny prank but you're right that's disgusting do you know how busby's has like a chalkboard in the yeah i wrote my initials on saturday yeah i couldn't think of anything creative i was just sitting there being i was like

left my mark oh that's fun one time i did like a huge hawk tour on there pretty funny yeah pretty funny that's pretty good but it took me like 30 minutes and so all my friends like when i came out of the bathroom we're like are you okay what were you doing in there because i was doing it like really big so it was like taking a long time were guys coming in being like why are you like i was in the stall so they couldn't see oh oh oh i thought you meant over the urinals no no no it was just like in the stall um but my friends were like were you taking a shit in there and like are you okay because that took like yeah and i had to show everyone like the video and be like no no no i was working on this i was doing yeah how big could it be i mean it was like wall to wall wait

is it all chalkboard yeah everything uh i don't know i know above the urinals it is yeah that's cool um yeah i mean i yeah i think hawk 2 is generally generally a good idea right big hawk 2a yeah it was it was back when hawk 2 was funny yeah i swear i actually it's gotten funnier for me as time has gone i think a lot of people thought it was funny at the beginning appreciated and now it's not i didn't think it was funny at the beginning and now i think it's now it got racist for me recently yeah which is weird right i don't really get yeah i think you're kind of dealing with your own thing yeah forgive me father for i've sinned every time i have sex with a man as a girl i zone out and get bored hell but just because i think you're gay i think you might be

gay and god doesn't like that so for that reason heaven heaven forgive me father for i've sinned when i went crazy after i got broken up with and my mental health was not good and i showed my ex's dick pic to two of my friends to get their opinion on it he was insecure about the size i had to constantly reassure him that i was satisfied hell hell if he had a huge hog show it to everyone so that he can get some play and because people will want to see it in person but if it's small you can't be showing i was a guy with the biggest penis ever right i would not want anyone to show that because i think other guys would get jealous go crazy they'd go crazy they go they'd go like they'd lose their mind because of insecurity yeah got it forgive me father for i've sinned

as a girl i have never been able to finish if i'm not watching porn what are we doing guys show is this i think you guys should call her daddy guys what are we doing here i was letting the i was letting the private part talk slide for a little bit but we can't can't be all private parts what does that mean are you are you watching gay porn because you might be gay we'll say gay heaven again gay heaven again or one more all right forgive me fathers for i have sinned i am a straight woman i watch almost exclusively watch gay porn i don't watch porn in general very often but when i do gay male porn gay male porn yeah i don't watch porn in general very often but when i do it's two men 90 of the time i know it's normal for straight men to watch

lesbian porn but for some reason the only way the other way around feels really weird and gross am i going to hell there's a couple things here if it feels weird and gross just watch something that you enjoy she definitely likes it though i think she just thinks like societally i think you're allowed to do whatever you want in the privacy of your own home yeah i mean rocks off however you need to do i i you're i think you're straight you're probably like the straightest person ever yeah you don't want a girl anywhere near right yeah yeah wait that's interesting so guys guys watch straight guys will watch lesbian porn but i had never heard of ladies straight ladies watching gay porn what about heated rivalry that's true basically what

that is i think you're i think you're hyper straight and for that reason you're going to heaven heaven what andrew can you tell him keep it pg-13 i mean andrew saw us getting pressurized and definitely skipped to that last one i knew that one was sitting in there so all right let's do do i need a lawyer do i need a lawyer brought to you one person might just have a porn addiction the person who can't get off unless they're watching porn that might just be a porn i think you might have a porn addiction all right well let's do do i need a lawyer brought to you by morgan and morgan morgan and morgan all right hey y'all my name is days longtime fan of the pod first i'm writing in i have kind of a weird situation that i could use some advice about

so basically i work at a food service place and the other night i had to use the bathroom for the entire rush it was bad i was shaking like elvis for three hours straight oh i was thinking this meant he was in the bathroom for the entire rush no no yeah that's how i read it first okay got it got it got it the rush finally ends and i beeline to the bathroom this was the greatest p of my life i was so relieved i didn't piss myself i couldn't help but let out and uh admittedly exaggerated groan slash sigh of relief uh here's where the problem starts a new girl at my job happened passing by the bathroom at the time of my pisscapade and she unknowingly took mistook my piss moan as a different kind of moan if you catch my drift she thought i was jacking my

shit crazy style she thought this so much that she without talking to me or anyone that knows me and would defend my character went straight to hr to form a complaint now i'm in this he said she said situation at my job and it's literally just my word against hers my argument was if i was really gonna risk tugging pud at work why would i moan hella loud and risk getting caught anyways any advice would be appreciated hr said there's no proof of any wrongdoing so i'm not losing my job or anything but it's just really awkward every time we work together now since she doesn't believe that i was peeing any advice as to how to approach moving past this with her would be greatly appreciated do i need a lawyer this is amazing uh i think you don't need a lawyer but what you need

i have a thought i think you gotta start moaning every time you pee yeah that was my thought is that what you're gonna say i i slightly different approach but like to prove it i first of all i'd go up to him that what the fuck is your problem yeah obviously i'm not jacking off at work but to prove it to you you drink a gallon of water right before rush hour you go hour go through what do they call it right just like they're i don't know yeah whatever no i like rush hour right before rush hour you drug you chug a gallon of water yeah and you go work with me here or make her do it too you both are like we're both gonna drink a gallon of water then at the end of the rush you go pee she stands outside the door and if the moan matches the moan then she'll you'll

be vindicated be a perfect opportunity to go in there and just jack it yes and then come out and she'll be like yeah i apologize i was gonna say just every time mvp just give it oh just say other people here and be like yeah he just doesn't want it's like a thing he does yeah but yeah first i'd go up to her and say what is your deal when you have your meeting with hr be like excuse me can i use the bathroom real quick in the middle of it and then go and moan be like oh my god and come out and show your palms and if they're not red is that a thing you must quit i don't know i was trying to think of like what would be like I used to do this bit in college

Where if I was the one playing music On the speaker I would be like hey I'm just going to run up to the bathroom real quick And then I would blast like porn sounds Like on the speaker And then I would go back to the music When I got back down I've definitely done that before

That is good That's about as good as it gets Alright you do not need a lawyer But if anyone out there does need a lawyer You can listen to this ad read If you do need a lawyer, you can ask Morgan or Morgan, Morgan. It's Morgan or Morgan that you have to pick now. Shit.

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happened does that make sense it's a great video but i don't understand what happened and i need two sets of fresh eyes on it to let me know if you guys have any yes down clue what's going on here all right so this is a house party of like high schoolers maybe like late or sorry it's like kids it might be like high school or like freshman in college house party this kid is about to do an awesome dance move and i can't for the life of me figure out what happened let's give it a shot i think he blew a little a gasket so pause it for a second for the audio listeners it is a trendy dressed teen and he does a backflip that he does not land he lands on his side and the most amount of white liquid I've ever...

I think he snapped... I think he popped a ball. Oh, my God. Can you... It's like... It's like you're taking a bite into, like, a Cinnabondi light. Oh, my God. These kids are, like, 15.

Did he have, like, a carton of milk in his pocket? I think he had milk in his pocket. I think there's no other explanation. But it looks like, like, glue, maybe? Glue milk. Glue, he had half milk, half glue in his pocket. Wait, so what? I mean, he's never going to live that down.

I'm glad the other party goers look as confused as I am. So it's in his left, something was in his left pocket. He must have had a glass of milk in his pocket. Been there. So he goes to redeem himself and do the get up and then slips again in his goo. That has got to be... Wait, okay.

So I thought that it was this seltzer thing here. No. But that comes out of his right pocket. Where he just had loose milk in his left pocket. But how much... How many drinks does he carry? Is that why kids' pants are so baggy right now? They just have, like, drinks galore?

He's got these cargoes on. But... So what do you do... yeah it's that he had milk in his pocket why would he why did he have milk in his pocket i mean my best guess is like he was going to make cereal later maybe he just had it left in his pants from like a different night and forgot right do you go home after that what do you do you gotta own it right i think in high school that's like awesome that's what the kids call an aura gamble right it was an or yeah or a gamble exactly

yeah he might be like the king he might be prom king now if you if that happened to you that if you play your cards right that might be the funniest thing anyone has i don't think he's prom king but i think he could be like homecoming court got it i just from my experience with like shit like that i guess you see university of florida was letting all their grads like do like one video or something when they graduated they were able to like walk in front of the seal and do whatever they wanted and one kid did like a backflip and totally

ate it just had to walk off backflip in like important life moments not a great idea as much as I would have thought I would think that people should be doing that

it just seems like it never ends well never does it's a horror gamble can you see does anyone have an explanation in the comments he broke his dick people would mostly are landing landing where we landed which is pocket milk it's got to be a pocket milk yeah there's no i listen i know my way around milk maybe he had like a chobani for later like he like was gonna eat it on the way home i'm trying to find my fucking maybe he's like lactose intolerant and that was like his cyanide pill like if god he ate something wrong

It's like in The Fault in Our Stars where he has a cigarette in his mouth, but he never lights it because you put the thing that has the power to kill you right between your teeth, but you never give it the power to kill you. Yeah, exactly. I hope this young gentleman is doing well out there, and if anyone's giving you any flack for this, it was awesome, so I don't think you need to worry about it. I agree. Sorry, I'm trying to find my... This guy rocks right now. okay what do you got here willie this is danny mars let's go scared to drop the ball used to play it small but not my eyes my crown struck her too found the intermediate to find the inner you

feel it fully let it go the same my first rodeo first one do not much to show keep it real learn to grow with a real no need to hide to the mask i'm back in stride pain of power see me rise like motion in my pride i rise i glow i move through pain learn to lose so i could gain no disguise no big control i found power in my soul peace and love brothers and sisters is it over i think i signed her camera said i could sign one person and i just signed her she's now works here doing what analytics oh my god that was i can't i saw i found the enemy

oh my god let's just do drafts please don't do anyone like that anymore i'm going to can you do guys that are not like that i do one baker are you sure you teach me something oh yeah how old do you think i don't have one how old the oh this one's good enough for the bullet bus cool how old do you think the actress who played moaning myrtle was in that scene 13 37 moaning myrtle was 37 years old if that makes sense why the hell they cast a 13 year old but she was 37 when she played a like oh fuck i forgot you see her it's not just a voice yeah it's like a sixth grader who moans she was 37 isn't that bizarre how did you find that out i don't remember now i don't remember someone i googled crazy harry potter

facts um all righty should we do worst things to say on a first date yeah these are the worst things to say on a first date can you still smell the poop on my breath my owner took me for a walk earlier love it can a white boy get a smoochie i am wearing my boxers with the least amount of skid marks in case you want to come home with me i smelled you from down the block the last girl that came here with me was never seen again before we eat i have not watched either of the last two slam dunk contests so no spoilers love it uh should we do bird calls that don't exist wait Waiter's hot, huh? Peendis.

That was my last one. All right. These are bird calls that don't exist. I'm already regretting this one. I'm worried. I'm worried. These are all so quiet. Mine are woodland birds.

I made up for it. andrew took his headphones off yeah i'm good do you like them all right well thank you guys for tuning in to this episode of playdate um i know you guys probably that last part might have been a little bit over your head but we love you and uh we sincerely appreciate you listening to us doing stuff like that uh it makes our year so it made my year for sure have a great rest of your wednesday have a great weekend we will see you bright and early on monday for more of its next episode is going to be just two hours of that so get used to that and we're very excited to see you love you playa w

Thanks for watching!