Will & Rusty's Playdate - we went to Japan!

Episode Date: January 28, 2026

SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/@playdatepod?sub_confirmation=1  GUESTS AND PAID PARTNERSHIPS: [e-mail] MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/  SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: Find LUCY near you at lucy.co/stores, or save 20% on your first online order at lucy.co/PLAYDATE with promo code PLAYDATE. Use our code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*: https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/PLAYDATE10 Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $20 discount Playdate: https://www.instagram.com/playdate.pod https://www.tiktok.com/@playdatepod Willy: https://www.instagram.com/willdonnellon https://www.tiktok.com/@willydonnellon Rusty: https://www.instagram.com/featherstonerusty https://www.tiktok.com/@rustyfeatherstone Andrew: https://www.instagram.com/andrew_nelson_ SUBMIT YOUR BUSINESS PITCH HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdPHd7Ps9TaX-TOozyLhDpr9Y7pFNMP9PX7cHuLxap1R78GWg/viewform?usp=header SUBMIT YOUR AITA STORY HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdQElfqdQutn3dzl5HcZfey6YWhbVd-n6XE7FkpfosWZyYhyA/viewform?usp=sf_link 00:00 - intro 4:27 - plane story 12:53 - patriots 22:38 - you gotta try the chicken patty 33:40 - when I worked at the welding shop 40:11 - I got birdie for two weeks 51:43 - of farts 1:00:39 - Japanese Hooters 1:08:57 - modern family plots that don’t exist 1:11:08 - signs in your mom’s house #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay, when I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids, and I want to give back to the community. Ooh, then it's the vacation of a lifetime. I wonder if my head of office has a forever setting. An IG Private Wealth Advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonize your business, your family, and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you at the center. Find your advisor at IGPrivateWealth.com.

pov you wake up in 2016 my penis sucks my penis is sucks my penis sucks you wake up in 2016 oh my penis sucks oh i forgot it's this bad oh my god it used to be this bad i gotta bet on the calves i just started a show last night uh i'll uh i'll jesus lord what the fuck just happened uh 11 23 63 or whatever okay never i was gonna be like how are you getting this hung up on the name but that does seem like if there was gonna be a number yeah it's the have you heard about this show ranger no it's from like 20 i actually think it's from 2016 roughly but it's like a guy who time travels to go stop the jfk assassination okay it's like a stephen king book

why it starts in maine specifically the oh he's a mainer he's a mainer he's like i'm gonna stop i'm gonna save the president but first we'll pass those blueberries the guy that created the time portal once was in vietnam and wants to stop the death of all of everyone who died in vietnam And he thinks, and Johnson escalated the war. So he thinks if you go back and save JFK, then they won't. He goes back and he kills Johnson. Everyone's like, what? No.

It's like tomato, tomato. Come out net positive on live. I think there, what would you, okay. If you could go back and like change one thing in history, what would you go back and fix or change? I mean, there's an obvious one, but I think that's kind of. Hitler. Yeah, but I think.

oh my god yeah i didn't even think about that why would this guy oh no because the portal we it was the 60s the portal takes you to 1960 only oh oh what why seems like kind of a for the book probably stephen king was like he had the book yeah he probably had then he was like oh my god they obviously would have done oh my god yeah well no actually it's a huge part of it goes in 1960 because i'm not really everything i'm saying happens in the first like 20 minutes of the show so i'm not really spoiling but like they so the idea is like to kill jfk you have to live three full years because he didn't get killed till 1963 and the portal sends you to 1960 so it's kind of an inconvenient yeah he sleeps

through his alarm yeah they have to start over oh fuck wait so why is the portal specifically 1960 they don't know it's just like a portal how does he find it it's in like the back of a diner the diner owners seems like a very 60s place for the portal to be yeah it's yeah it's in a drive-in diner it is a what is a drive-in diner isn't that every kind of diner do you know they got a drive-in airport in detroit yeah i saw that wait so did he hit anybody i don't know i think if your bag was because he crashed right into like the check-in counter do you think if your bag was like 61 pounds they'd be like all right just go just go we got it we got we got to deal with this we just got back from japan um speaking of airport we're not going to give you too much

detail as to everything that happened in japan because we've got we filmed four youtube videos they're going to come out over the next starting next week february is japan month yeah and we don't want to ruin it but we're going to talk we'll talk about it in like a but in a macro sense it was awesome the food was awesome the people were great the there's one yeah letters are impossible to read didn't know what reading how you know what one of the craziest thing that happened not crazy and it's not crazy that it happened but one thing that i was thinking about is there was a time the other day where someone was writing me something out on a piece of paper in japan in japanese okay and i was like this just the letters just seem harder to do like or it just

seems like like ours followed the same kind of we get we get max three changes of direction yeah yeah theirs is like a pic a small picture it seems like hard to be that precise so if you're if you can't draw can you just are you just illiterate over there because they're all kind of pictures and maybe they can all yeah i don't know it was i don't i don't know i don't know okay kelly all right so we're in we're in japan we were in japan and willie and i board our flight and we get settled in our seats trying to fly back trying to fly back to california and i'm starting to like doze off i have my headphones on and willie texted me like wait what did they just say and and i was like i don't know and then he was like i think they said we're going back to

the gate so we go back to the gate they're like hey you know one of the engines isn't working Oh, we actually didn't go back to the gate. They were just like, we have something to fix. Because we had to... Oh, yeah. We definitely didn't go back to the gate. But yeah, they spent... Long story short, they spent five hours trying to fix a mechanical issue with our plane.

And then we're like, actually, you have to get off and we can't even go back to the gate. So you'll have to walk off the plane and take buses back to the airport. And then they rebooked us all. They rebooked some of us on a flight two hours later. So inconvenient. Could be worse. they booked some of us on a flight 25 hours later out of a different city so uh this guy gets booked on a flight two hours later i get booked on a flight out of osaka the next day so i had to go

sleep in an airport then get up go back or sleep in an airport sleep in a hotel go back then fly to osaka and then fly from osaka and i ended up on the same flight as lucas and caleb who had just decided to spend another day having fun like a blast they had like an awesome day in Osaka and I was just in the airport for two full days it was horrible before the flight even got canceled when you and I were going to the airport you were like you know I thought about like just adding an extra day but I was like you know let's just get back and then you just could you I literally almost just booked it and then I ended up on the same flight and I so I've been in airports for the last two days I'm exhausted we also immediately got separated like it wasn't like

we were on the same bus they were like all right everyone in this portion of the plane which portion uh the front the front portion yeah the front portion gets a flight two hours later and they get immediately whisked off the plane no no i don't think the rebooking was based on class because there were there were only one other guy in my section was on my flight there and we kept seeing each other and being like well that was close everyone else was like screwed so what happened uh the second they said it was canceled i opened my delta app and it was like do you want this 1250 flight but i did that too and it wasn't there i did it like immediately like and so i clicked it it got me on another flight the guy next to me then calls the flight attendant over

and had the same thing but his like the second i clicked that i wanted it it disappeared on his app like i think i got the last one jesus and so he was like there's a which also like the flight attendant's not the one like booking your flights he was like there was a flight here 30 seconds ago and now it's gone and she also doesn't speak english so she was like okay is that what she said she said konnichiwa she said i learned konnichiwa i learned arigato gozaimasu so gomenasai gomenasai so caleb we we learned what i'm sorry was and every time we said it like it was it was a home run joke and we were like what is so funny about that caleb ran into a guy and was asking him like because i think that guy was an english speaker but like had been in japan

long enough that yeah kind of he was the perfect guy to talk to and he told the company the comparison that he made to caleb was it's the equivalent of when they're here and they say hero like it's just which is implying that the equivalent is that we all point and laugh at them no he just means like it's it is it's funny not because of any like cultural difference or like we're using the wrong term but it's just impossible for us to say it by that logic why aren't konichiwan arigato funny because i think that they're expecting us to know those ones got so i think it catches them by surprise but hero is something we'd expect them to know i just i'm not what if it's like i'm sorry yeah i don't think that would make me laugh yeah i guess maybe i'm not sure i

get it yeah but it was i our theory was that like it's like because i think that it also is true that like saying sorry like carries more like they don't yeah we were we because they were laughing really hard so we were like do they does it mean the the one that's like i've brought shame to my fan like i'm so fucking sorry because we i we were trying to figure out how to say goodbye yeah we we were there for seven days we learned a handful they don't really say goodbye they're just like all right thanks yep yeah what they just kind of say thank you to say goodbye i think or either that all right i'm gonna be honest i did not pick up a lot of japanese i was trying i wasn't trying i didn't try that hard either uh i guess sayonara counts but you told me that's

like see you never yeah that's what we asked a guy and he's like oh sayonara so then we're like sayonara and then another guy was like oh yeah though that's like see yeah it's like what you say before you go to war yeah i may never see you again i don't know do you like japan yeah it sounds fun i uh i have a lot of questions i just don't know what you guys are can and can't talk about well you can ask him and we'll tell you if we can talk about it was there a lot of people just speaking english can't talk about it no i'm just kidding yeah i would say most people speak some level of english what we learned is if you if you if you start with konichiwa and you make some attempt to not just immediately like run in and be like we're speaking

english yeah they were completely good with speaking english and they all speak pretty decent there's also a lot of like english signage like in like the airports and train stations and like okay certain parts of the more touristy parts of the cities and stuff so it's pretty you can totally get around without speaking japanese okay the first place we went to eat like right when we got there it was like a you know where you like grill your own meats in front of you and like the whatever korean barbecue yeah close japanese oh uh japanese korean barbecue but we so we get there and no one's coming over to us and so we learned like there you have to like call them over yeah you have to be like hey hey i'm ready excuse me

like that is so risky if this like reddit thread is wrong then we're just going to look like asshole americans yeah and so we're eating and then right before the food comes out she brings over she brings all of us bibs to wear like these like cloth bibs and it's like not really a messy dinner it's kind of like a you know pretty standard and no one else there's another group there was like another japanese couple they're eating the exact same thing and they were not wearing bibs and so we were like do you think they're in the back like i bet i can get these fucking idiots yeah um i think the bibs i that everyone else thought we were getting clowned like clowns i think it was just like the oil could like spread off spread spread off i mean

did people have bibs like at their table no one else had bibs we were the only guys but there were only like two other people in the restaurant yeah but yeah but we were the only americans we were the only ones eating bibs well did you snap at the waitress to get her to come over hey hey hey hey ready oh i forgot birdie's here also dog by the way give her a mic in case she's is there a camera on her uh yeah your camera kind of shows her there's a new bluetooth speaker that's also headphones saw it on fallon i have a handful of questions for you were you watching fallon live no no no one's watching fallon's taped you can't watch so you were watching the clips yeah i was watching

yeah it comes out not live correct why did they switch it's never been live oh jimmy kimmel's live i was about to say that ruins like the all the immersion immersion immersion the immersion the ancient none of those all those shows are taped at like 6 p.m like fallon colbert so you're telling me when i'm watching fallon late night yeah late i'm not actually hanging out with them at the same time no they hung out unless unless he's doing mean tweets or wait no that's kimmel um unless he's doing like a i don't know nfl talk yeah my my patriots are going to the superbowl i was rooting for the seahawks yesterday just because i want the better team to be in there to beat the patriots i saw a tweet that was like if drafting sam darnold third overall yep was

was just for them him to beat the patriots it would be worth it would be worth it as a jets fan yeah i so i think there's a big difference between like i'll admit that i was wrong or maybe like it was I was ambitious for me to think that you would root for the Patriots the way that you are actively hoping that like not only do they not win but you want them to lose yes I don't understand like if because you're not a Seahawks fan so I'm a Jets fan if the if the Yankees were in the World Series would you not be actively rooting for them to lose when the Red Sox were out and like because I answered this question differently and then I remembered when the Red Sox were out and the yankees were playing and i was watching with like sam i was like for his sake i hope they win

because i have nothing to gain from the red sox are out i yes i just i hate the patriots i don't know what to say but you like me i like you of course i like all my i've almost i'm no more patriots fans probably than any other team all my buddies from college and stuff and so you want us all to be sad at this i don't want you to be sad my freshman year of college they won the okay that That would be like me being like, I hope, I hope, like, I hate your, I hate your bike so much that I hope you get hit by a car. That is not. But I like you.

But I still like you, but I hope you get hit. Oh, you hope just my bike can hit you? No, no, no. I hope you get hit by a car so that you're, because I hate your bike so much. That's not what it's like. It's kind of like that. This is not life or death. This is sports.

Andrew, thoughts? I mean, I was watching. Would you be rooting for UT if they were in the. Absolutely not. He's going to be actively rooting for them to lose if they win the championship. Even if Willie and I both went to UC? Yes. Weird.

Okay, here's a question. Who's playing quarterback? No, we're not doing this. We're not doing this. I'm shutting this down. Nope, I'm shutting this down. It's completely normal to root against the team that has tortured you and your whole life they've just beaten you every fucking year.

They've won your division every year. i just yeah i hate the patriots and they like they when they cheated to do it too just left a bad taste in my mouth over and over it's just a gross franchise i want nothing to do i'm not even gonna touch that flan's dad sent a funny meme the other day and it was like a guy like on his hands and knees crying and it was like second second graders from new england who have never seen the patriots make the super bowl or having their team finally make the super like if you were in third grade i mean i think that is also what makes it even worse it's like if they were like a team that like it's not even just that there are rivals it's their success like

if it if your team was technically my rival but you'd never experience success ever okay i'd have like a part of me that's like okay a little bit happy for you that makes your moment better but the fact that they didn't they were bad for like what five years yeah yeah not even that and the jets have been literally bad since so 1969 so like when when your mets were in the playoffs yeah and i like went with you and i was like wearing met ski or but i like the reds i root for the red sox all the time i love the red sox okay they're not rivals and that's the enemy of my enemy is my friend the jets aren't really you guys are to us they're not you are we're so meaningless to you that we're not your rivals but you are the team that we hate the most for sure

okay also i just find do you like all the guys i guess on the team the patriots like it's just you just you just dislike the like logo because if all those guys were on a different team they're all likable guys okay well then this is just i'm trying to get you to bring down like what sports is like yeah if all the guys on the patriots were on my team i would like them they're a different team they're on like the broncos you know i probably like them yeah drake may is pretty likable interesting it's very interesting what if the okay so what do we need to do to change your belief there uh blow up the franchise it's okay what part of it is like this the smog part of it's the smog it's like i just it's getting to my head i just

have been i'm going stir crazy it's seeping into my brain part of it is just the smog can i just get that off my chest i just can i just see the sky if i could just know there's a world out there out of this hellhole yeah i could maybe root for your patriots the smog is fucking with my head i was trying to say the smugness okay it's a smog the other parts are smug it's it a part yeah it's just because they were good and i don't think they deserve like i think every team should have to be bad for an extended period of time okay so it's kind of like your like political beliefs it's like you want like we're gonna divide and call everyone is a 500 team yeah yeah okay all

at least you're consistent exactly speaking of smog did you ever i was watching this show on you ever seen the the show about like the british royal family uh it's like on netflix like the queen or the crowd the crown yeah there's a couple episode stretch where london is just engulfed in like a toxic fog have you heard of that no there was like it was like a big problem and like winston churchill would come over and be like we gotta do something about this fog and she's like i know the great smog of london yeah it was just like people were like like you'd go outside and it was like whoa isn't that crazy i think it was like the car had just been invented like we were we were really leaning into like fuel wait it was only four days and it was but it

apparently was like that's a couple episodes i think it was way worse than the pea supers too pea supers that was like the smaller smog events i was i just read ahead oh peace four days is like a long time to be covered in four thousand people died that's what i'm saying like you'd go outside it was like toxic oh my god i know i know you're telling me am i being toxic be honest birdie is he being toxic last time birdie came on the pod i left She went under this chair And wouldn't leave Last night

We let the liquor talk Do you like the bed I made out of her? I did My sister comes back and she's like Where's Birdie? I made a bed out of her Look what I've broughten you Guess what it's made of

Cause look it's clearly That's your flannel She's sound asleep Your flannel with a pillow in it close flannel t-shirt t-shirt blue tarp tarp oh crunch is like a big bag of cheese and look it's clearly working oh you know what the worst part about you may ask us what the worst part of it what was the worst part of japan no diet coke dude whole country only coke dude when we were on our way over both flight both my flight attendant

and willie's flight attendant when we ordered a diet coke was like wait i thought you said yours didn't do this what yours did this too she was she like mentioned that it hit yours had a funnier line mine was like there's none over there but willie said uh what was it get it where's i get it while you can because the moment we get there and i was like what you know it's weird on the way back so like we were on the same delta like route like before we our flight got canceled oh and i ordered a diet coke while we were waiting because she like was coming around because we'd been on the tarmac for like four hours and i was like can i get a diet coke and she goes uh we only have coke zero i was like but you just came from los angeles yeah so they only

have it going yeah i don't know when i asked for one you had to like go to the back and get it like he didn't have in his cart yeah i don't know do you think they just have one plane that just flies back and forth between those two it doesn't go anywhere else i bet there's like two like i bet when one's in la and then they like cross each other and they like high five like i took a crazy route home we went like up and kind of came down the coast like seattle fresno san fran and came in that way i did i didn't look i looked out the window yeah i got one time and it was san francisco and i looked on the map oh that's kind of cool yeah i um i got a diet coke on the plane nice we already said that on the way there right were they like excited to see white people oh my

Yeah, they couldn't believe it. No, I think there were white people everywhere we went. Really? Yeah, I had heard that there was a chance. I heard that if you were, like, a white guy over there, you're, like, a celebrity. But no one even, like, batted an eye. No. I think that's China, maybe?

I also think we stayed in, like... I think it's China, too. China, if you're a white guy, they, like, fall to their knees. We don't, like, take a picture with you without asking and stuff. Yeah. We, like, stayed in, like, Times Square, too. So it was, like... It was, like, their Times Square.

Oh, so it was, like, all white people? Yeah. dude were you one of the people telling us the 7-eleven like chicken patty was goaded no well you'll have to see our review when you watch oh fuck yeah well no do we even get that on the video oh no the first night everyone's like i'm just trying to nerf you you gotta try the chicken patty and we get it we bite it and it's just like completely jank looking it was like raw dark meat huh it was weird i did not like the 7-eleven chicken the chicken nuggets were gas though they have like yeah yeah yeah did you see people like passed out on the sidewalk with like water

bottles all around that i also think is was just not where we were i'm i'm aware that that's a thing yeah i think it may have been overhyped we did run into a salary a two salary men but that was in the video so you'll have to watch that what's the salary salary men are the guys that like work really hard and then go go out right after work and like black out in their work clothes oh they're like in suits and stuff yeah and they like those are the guys that they usually like pass out on the street yes there was one guy that was well dressed when willie and i were leaving and we got into the taxi and the guy was like where are you going and we're we for a reason you'll find out later we had to go to the police station and so we really showed him the address

for the police station and the the driver was like no no like why and we were like i was like i'm turning myself in yeah and he like then he started laughing but then this other like business guy who looked hammered yeah came up and was like yelling at the taxi driver spitting on our car spitting on the car like in a suit so mad and then when we left just immediately walked into traffic hailed the cab and got no and we're like it's kind of badass he walked straight in the middle of traffic everyone was like honking and shit and they just stopped like taxi the guy I was like, it was awesome. Was anybody excited to see you guys?

Yeah, there were some detards hanging out. Oh, I just meant in general, people were like, oh, I want to practice my English with you or something. Oh, no, us being American was not a novelty at all. I will say, so we were told when you go into a bar, buy one for the bartender. And that was like a life hack. Yeah, they love you immediately.

walk into a bar and you're like we got three beers and one for you and they just drop everything they're doing and they're like you're you're my new best i have a few thoughts on that a can't they get a free one and well i think a lot of times it's their bar that's what i mean like a lot of these were like it seemed like they owned the bar but but it's like that because if you're if you're getting high on your own supply yeah yeah and then i also remember having a thought of like doesn't that mean like that's like do they ever get like hammered and then i won't spoil it but there's one point in the video where it's like oh my god yeah they get hammered yeah they do get hammered yeah they definitely get hammered oh well we ran into a guy who he was

like are you guys americans and i was like yeah and then he goes do you know grant long and grant long was just in my fraternity i was like yeah he goes cool i went to prep school with him wait but he must have known that you had a connection i think there was a new you were there's no way oh that's the way you walk up to a guy and say yeah that makes every american oh that ruins that i thought he just guessed just one random guy from his fraternity yeah that makes more sense okay he definitely already knew i was in grant's fraternity yeah oh fuck fuck my life did i tell you my roommate is dating uh nice new lady my roommate's dating my roommate's dating this new girl not new at this point but at the time when i learned this it was new uh and we're talking

about where we're from yeah and then she was like do you know luke bunnell who's like one of my best friends we were like just in maine together i was just i just stayed at his house in kentucky i was like yeah she was like i i'm friends with his sister and uh and i like just stayed in her bed when i'd stayed at the binel's house and we were trying to figure out what are the what do you think the odds are of your room i know this is not the most exciting question but i was just thinking from a sheer statistics standpoint what are the odds of your roommate dating someone who's friends with your friend's sister?

That's the worst question you've ever asked me. What do you think the odds are? I don't know. One in a hundred million? It's so specific. Okay, I have a better one. It's like, what are the odds of there being a dog under a microphone on a Monday

and Andrew's wearing a gray sweater? Okay, alright, you didn't like that one? Here, try this one on for size. My friend and his wife hit a whole one on the same hole uh together and he shared the like uh the math of the odds of that happening yeah one in 156 million chance isn't that unbelievable yeah that is crazy this uh this past weekend at the end the same round he didn't specify but they were both holding up their balls so i would assume unless he had his ball on him from when he did it but he uh yeah so his his dad

and my dad lived together in manhattan beach when they were kids when they were our age and he now is a world champion body surfer isn't that isn't that a cool thing to be like the best at they there's like competitions uh i would be shocked if he just declared himself as the best i i don't yeah he was yeah look up bod body surf yeah okay i'm curious if it's my chris anderson no wait click no okay it looks like he's not in the top five but he was holding the trophy what's his name liam mccloskey look up liam mccloskey body surfer oh it is not looking good for me i must have misread the trophy he was a he was a swimmer at auburn it says two-time world body surfing yeah two-time

world body surfing champion thank you according to auburn athletics i believe it let's see can you do tricks or is it just like it feels like a lot of the tricks might be like masked under the whitewash he's swimming i feel like that shouldn't be allowed do you think do you think that it all happens under the whitewash and it's like honor system yeah you have to be like i did a backflip i did a hog drag he's dragging hog he's dragging they have to wait till the tide goes out to see the line in the sand wait i i sent this to everyone i know but andrew do you want to hear my i guess besides andrew andrew do you want to hear my favorite tweet i've ever read that i found this morning what do you mean so this guy

shares a picture and it's this like you know intricate look andrew it's like this intricate like you know carving of kind of like a seahorse thing whatever and it goes whaler made scrimshaw whale ivory seahorse pie crimper someone replies it goes string of words your grandpa lets out when he stubs his toe well well made scrimshaw whale ivory seahorse pie crimper i liked it a lot it's funny i think that was really good oh wait oh guy in the airplane yesterday i'm lucas and i oh oh you want to hear a crazy thing yes so my flake it's all fucking i end up on the same plate as lucas and caleb i like a full day after i'm supposed to be flying out on a different airline delta rebook me on a different airline because they just like yeah and uh i'm my seat in between

lucas and caleb what whoa that might have crazier odds than my your friend's sister knowing your sister's no it's your roommate's what are the odds here's a question what are the odds of your roommate's girlfriend knowing your friend's sister it's got to be like less than one definitely do you think we run in like we run in such similar well that's the kind of question it's like it's so dependent on like yours is more obscure because like you're they're from a different place yeah yeah wait that feels insane do you think they knew that you guys knew each other and they're how would they know we knew they're gonna they booked theirs through japan airlines i blew mine through delta and got like rain anyway it was crazy but i was next to

lucas and then there was this cup these two people in front of me and they were having like a meet cute i think but like i don't think she was into it because i just she was like he like told some story and she's like oh wow that's crazy and then i just heard him be like yeah it's a pretty wacky story i've got a lot of wacky stories actually i've had a pretty wacky life and then she was like okay she just brings the help button my seat's broken can you she just turns around i'll give you i'll give you guys anything move me to a middle give you my meal put me in the fucking luggage hold yeah i've had a pretty wacky life actually she just opens a lot of wacky opens the door of the plane just gets sucked out uh bashing the window i have a question was

Is it a white guy and an Asian girl? No. You're trying to like Stanford theory or whatever? What's it called? What's that? The theory, isn't it like some college concluded that all white guys love Asian women or something? Maybe it's not that dry. Look up like white guy loving Asian theory.

Look up white guy loving on Asian. The Oxford study. Oh, trolls are citing. trolls are citing an oxford so it's like to get past the to get over his bridge you have to tell him what the oxford theory is it says demeaning to asian women oh oh okay every video i see of someone posting like have you seen how girls will post like their parents on tiktok for like one trend or another all the comments will be like oxford study well it's kind of a bummer that like your race your race being into another race is demeaning to that race

don't you think yeah like if white guys love you you must stop yeah exactly that's funny what do you i would have thought oxford was working on more important things i think it's the not it's not even the college it's the t-shirt company in order to sell more t it's like asian chicks dig me it's just a no it's just a guy in that works at the t-shirt company who liked asian women he was peddling his theory at the factory for so long that they like named it after the oxford you're trying to you're trying to like sew the tag into a shirt at your at your work and the guy next to you shut up you know white guys love asian okay it's like all right now it's been peer-reviewed when i when i worked at uh when i worked at the uh welding shot that i told you i

worked in a welding place when i was in high school yeah and all those like these like blue collar guys they do all have you know just because there's so much time in the day to just be thinking and the machinery is too loud to like really talk about it yeah that i think before lunch they've had like eight hours just with their thoughts because you have earplugs in so you're just only thinking yeah and by the time lunch rolls around they usually have some pretty interesting conspiracy stuff to share um wait what did i want to oh okay i don't want to i don't want to pander i don't want to pander to the people oh god jesus jack that were that were uh upset with my ai use but i ironically because of something that may not be true like because of misinformation

i saw on tiktok i may be getting off ai and i haven't wait you're getting off to ai now this is exactly my concern no sorry go ahead i saw a picture on the internet and it's a brain of a guy who is a frequent chat gbt user and a brain of a guy who is not and the let's just say the one that is not is firing on all cylinders and the one that is a frequent chat gbt user there's not a lot going on there so i even though this is like your your two worlds collide yeah you're two people fighting you're too like unstoppable force meeting an immovable yeah but i think i'm done with it and that is it also said that it is affecting people who use it too often it's affecting their memory and if you know anything about me these last six months i'm like i can't

remember anything so i don't know if that's a coincidence or not wait so was that graphic true that's i didn't google it because i because i didn't want to look at the ai review got it you can probably turn off the ai overview i think i got to i think i got to um but i think i'm done with the with the with the pt with the pt you're pandering i'm pandering panda but also i reserve i reserve the right to uh i reserve the right to get on it i can quit anytime i want that's right and i can resume anytime i want does ai make brain fireless research indicates but ai is telling us that that's how you know because they wouldn't tell you if it wasn't i mean it does make sense trending shorts is like kevin art you don't you don't have to you don't have to do any of the

thinking yourself it just feels like it hasn't been around long enough for us to like say for sure that's what they said about cigarettes that's what they said about cigarettes yeah i just feel like any study is usually years yeah research do you think if pregnant women use ai it's like smoking like they're gonna look back and be like i was using ai when i was pregnant If pregnant women use AI, then their babies will smoke. Write that down. Like physically. Like their belly's like steaming.

Ah! Or something. I have to pee so bad. And their mouth's like the chimney. Can you guys keep an eye on Birdie while I go pee? I have to pee too. Andrew, will you keep an eye on her? Lucy's the official pouch partner of Almost Friday Premium.

100% tobacco-free nicotine pouches made for true pouch connoisseurs. Lucy Pouches and Lucy Breakers deliver a long-lasting flavor for a seriously satisfying pouch experience. Rusty, can you tell me about your favorite Lucy? 8-milligram breaker. Yep. Apple cider or mint. Looks a lot like your curveball. Is that clothing?

Yeah. I use them for focus. I use them for energy to kick back after a couple beers. I use them to relax. We've got an office vending machine that does not stay stocked for very long, if you know what I'm saying. All my friends and people in my community are using them. They are truly goaded.

Lucy is the obvious choice for the true nicotine pouch connoisseur. That is why they are the official nicotine pouch partner of Almost Friday. Lucy pouches go up to 12 milligram strength and have a unique shape that feels great in your mouth. And guys, they're now in stores nationwide. So you can find a retailer near you at Lucy.co slash stores or get Lucy delivered to you ASAP on apps like DoorDash or GoPuff. Y'all, Lucy is the only pouch that delivers long-lasting on-demand flavor. Find a store at Lucy.co slash stores or get it shipped with 20% off your first order at Lucy.co. slash playdate using code playdate and here comes the fine print lucy products are only for adults

of legal age and every customer is age verified warning this product contains nicotine nicotine is an addictive chemical this episode is brought to you by seat geek willy you're always going to live events live events it's better than a pre-recorded one come on always said that who are you so excited to see uh i got a lot coming up i'm excited i'm going opening weekend i'm gonna see so the mets finally got another good pitcher freddie peralta so now i'll get to see either him or nolan mclean i'm going to two games and i bought tickets for me my dad and my brother all on seat geek gave him to them for christmas it couldn't have been a better grift gift not a grift i'm not grifting i'm gifting uh i went to a blackhawks game snow caps audrey hobert

Ohio State, Mets. I mean, this is my corn. If a farmer has corn to keep his house hot, this is my corn. I love SeatGeek, and I buy all my tickets on it. And, you know, SeatGeek's got your back, all right? They rate all the tickets out of 1 to 10, so you know if you're getting a good deal, just look for the green dot. Or if you want to get a bad deal, you look for the red dot.

Totally your call. And every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee, guys. The new year means new artists are on tour. to make it even better you can use code playdate10 for 10 off your seat geek tickets that's 10 off tickets with promo code playdate10 make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later thank you seat geek let's get back into the episode yeah i got her i got birdie for two weeks two that's like that's fun my i like used to not really care about dogs but now my hot ass girlfriend's making me

care more about him she like she really she's loves them more than anything in my life or in her life or probably more than i love anything in my life so now i'm like but it's funny i catch myself like like actually like it's not like for her it's not performative it's not yeah it's not performative a performative dog lover is i'd rather have you dislike dogs well not like performative but i feel like i mean i guess i guess that is the word but in not like the sense that it's like not to other people but i feel like early on i'd be like oh yeah he's so cute like with her just trying to be like yeah i don't know wanted her to like me what happened with her debacle trying to get a dog with her landlord you know her landlord was like telling her that

oh yeah she just like had it she had it oh well she was just dog sitting didn't she want to get one no she was just about she's like hey i'm gonna be dog sitting and then was thinking about maybe getting a dog and he kind of bugged up but he he she's allowed to dog sit she he put up a sign said no dogs and their building and stuff after that and she just did it anyway but don't other tenants have dogs yeah but she lives above him no i know i'm saying like did that she was yeah did that sign apply to people that like already had dogs i guess not he must have like let them know i don't know it was weird but i don't think she's gonna get a dog a woman called me and i quote my hero yesterday i first time first time ever you know that there's that guy here literally

like the way you did it with the christmas cracker like she like almost like fainted santa you know you were like oh i can't pay the rent yeah yeah so i you know that thing did you grow up on that no when you did it i was like this is what a what a theatrical family and then all the other comments were like oh my god i thought me and my family i went viral what is that from i don't know um sorry so there you know there's that guy that lives in his buick on my street yeah yeah that's not a buick that's what i told him you've seen that commercial right andrew no really what that would that one went like triple platinum in my house are you serious when buick did that like overhaul of their yeah suv there was the other commercial sorry you tell your story and

i'll tell you so there's this guy that lives in his buick or lincoln on my uh street his hoopty and uh what's hoopty hoopty is like a like a broken down car okay nice it's hoopify's brother hoopty hoopty there's a i learned that word from uh this guy posted a reel he posts these reels where like he'll be either like panhandling or like hitchhiking or something and then he like rejects like he's too cool for certain people so this guy pulls up when he's hitchhiking and he goes not this hoopty man keep it rolling but so this guy is fucking asleep like i thought he might be dead blocking this parking spot but his car is running and i've seen it enough that i know like he's just passed out on whatever he does i'm gonna get to the bottom of what he's on but it's

something strong and so he's blocking this spot and this woman is waiting to pull in and he's like just on another planet and so i walked up to her i was like are you waiting for the spot and at this point i'm like this guy has been driving me nuts like when i took birdie on a walk a couple hours prior i had to walk past his car and there is and let's say like great dane had recently walked by and pooped it was a human poop next to his car so he's just a menace there was shattered glass this morning like it's not just that he's here it's that he's like dangerous and he's kind of just becoming like a nuisance and also the parking thing there's only a finite amount of parking spots and he's always parked not in one because that that's fine you can sleep in

your car if you're in a spot he's in the middle of the road making it impossible to pull into a spot and so i asked this woman are you getting in the spot and she said yes and so flan and i were there and i was like i'm gonna say something and flan was like no you can't do that i walked up and i knocked knocked on his window and i was like you need to leave like this woman's trying to pull into this spot and he was like oh okay and then took he says like hi just like oh okay just drive straight into your building his car his car uh is on like four completely flat tires too so like when he pulls away it's just like but it took him 45 seconds to figure out how to put the car in gear and like get it out of there and then she goes my hero thank you and then the cops

were there talking to him this morning and they didn't do anything they left again they're just shooting the shit i think i think they're just checking to see if he's they were doing like a welfare check probably yeah or like they have to respond every time a welfare check yeah it's like are you in welfare yes all right you're good did it land a welfare check they're like let me see your bank account because he just got his welfare oh he got his welfare check check well yeah but he so i think they have to respond to the call every time someone complains the broken glass this morning i walked i didn't see it and i walked birdie like right through it jesus yeah but also i don't know i'm kind of torn because i don't know what his other option is like where

else if we kick him out from our even if we get him to leave our cul-de-sac what you should just You should, like, drop, you should make, like, a flyer for, like, a different cul-de-sac that, like, advertises it as, like, some sort of, like, island paradise of, like, free food and stuff. And just, like, drop it next to his car on accident. We were talking about this last night. So we have four cars in our apartment, and we only have two spots. So two of us always have to be parked on the street, and it's kind of hard to find parking on our street, so often you have to park far away. and we were like just kind of spitballing ideas about how to one we were talking about the homeless guy but two we were trying to figure out like how to maybe find a better parking

situation and we were like do you think if we gave him like to hold the spot 10 bucks a day or something he would like hold a spot for you and then when you got there he would leave and then like protect your car with his life i mean you could make him an offer would you trust him working with him though well i think it's like even if he if he doesn't do it one day it's just over like it's because it's recurring yeah it's not like i'm paying him i'm not gonna pay my salary but like insurance plan if you have you gave him i don't know i think if you gave him 20 bucks a day he would he'd be very i like this idea i think yeah it's a win-win yeah because it's like you're helping him out he's already never pulling into a spot yeah we just have to

teach him how to parallel park yeah he just parks in the middle of the road literally just the i'll take a picture the next time i do it it is like there will be four spots and i think he just can't it probably took him 45 minutes to get from the top of the street to where he's at so like it would he just can't figure i don't think he knows how to park either jesus we were thinking about um i don't know i'm i'm worried because there are a lot of kids in our building and he keeps pooping on the street and this mom this mom don't shit where you don't shit where you street man and this mom says he keeps doing it when she's with her daughters and so it's like are those

kids gonna turn out weird because they just like keep seeing them like i've never seen another man poop you think the kids are gonna grow up to be weird because they saw a guy poop like every day i mean i agree that it's not like good but it's like funny it's like are the kids gonna turn out weird yeah i'm thinking down the line yeah yeah i don't know maybe what if what if you just let let him live with you you would oh okay get rid of ty make ty can poop on the street for a week he's a good dude we all take shifts it's like oh it's my week to sleep on the sidewalk We had to do that one time in high school We had homeless for a day

That's not real You guys ever do this? Like principal for a day? Yeah but you were homeless Was it like an honor? You had to shit on the street? You could if you wanted to But you had to camp out on the football field

For 24 hours That's different than homeless That sounds fun That was like a reward It was called homeless for a day yeah it was kind of weird to like role play being a homeless person did you doesn't that feel like kind of so i know we're treading in some murky water right now asking about this but what kind of homeless things would you do yeah what is that what else do you do it's just that

you just camp yeah you were just came but you like trash can fires yeah you all like wear fingerless gloves and like yeah like like from a movie yeah yeah your coats they all they sewed like patches under your trench under your uh on the on the sleeves it was called the school did it and it was called homeless for a day homeless and it was just a big camp out on the football field yeah yeah and then we i'll do you one better we did one in college too is this like a texas thing it was called shackathon and you had to build a shack right outside kyle field which is a football field yeah and there had to be at least one person in it for i believe it was two weeks and if they caught like your shack being completely empty at any point in the day it could be like 2

a.m 3 a.m 4 a.m whatever then you were fined like 200 and your organization had to pay 200 to this charity what was the point it was like a charity thing but that wasn't like like or that wasn't like with the with modeling homelessness that was just like an event i mean it kind of was it was like you were in this like wood shack that you built in like five minutes huh wait i don't under what were they hoping your takeaway was gonna be from from homeless for a day i don't know because people really decked out their shacks and no sorry the high school one oh the high school one um what it was like to be cold outside and not be able to do anything about it was it in the winter yeah so it sounds like you went camping yeah on like a football field well i don't think

they had like a tent or like blankets or anything oh no tents i think it was tents no you were you were camping like on the football field but it was like you were just sitting there i think at one point they played a movie on like the jumbotron okay this sounds nothing like being homeless sounds like you hung out they played a movie on the jumbotron for homeless for a day but they played like a homeless movie they played trading places they did pursuit of happiness oh oh my god we did uh birdie dude i flan and i got almost gotten a real argument because of farts about my farts because birdie sleeps under the covers and so i was just like hot boxing her for like an entire night and flan was like that like you're hurting her yeah i got yelled at yesterday for

ripping a little too much arse it's just i don't know what she's like just don't do the big ones around me right you never know yeah yeah i'm not like i'm not getting clear like air clearance also i think i have a problem where all my farts sound like i shit my pants like i consistently get oh my god did you just shit yourself and i'm like no i didn't shit myself i gotta get what did she say to you she was just like god will like it's disgusting like you're too comfortable and i'm like i know but i can't help it also it's like sometimes i'll go to the bathroom in my room for the really big ones yeah and it's like you can obviously hear that oh you go in just to fart sometimes that's so nice of you you're a better man than me i not all the time

but like i did last night and she was like oh and i was like i'm in the i'm in this place i can do it this is my house this is my fucking house my fucking you and you and lauren were friends first at least and we had farted in front of her a ton of times i know sometimes i think about like flan and i were strangers a year and a half ago and now yeah if i could if she would let me i would i would fart on her do you know what i mean yeah i asked yeah i don't know that might have gone a different direction than i was expecting but i mean you asked her if you couldn't she said no where what does that even mean we were in bed and we were doing tiktok time what's that butt to butt on our phones and then i really had to fart and i was like i don't really want to roll over

and then i said permission to fart on you and she said no she said permission denied do you is that a thing you do tiktok time she calls it that like we'll put on a show and then or if she has her back to me for a while and i'll be like can you come over here she said she i have a she said she's doing a little bit of tiktok time we call it only child time because i knew this girl in high school who was an only child growing up and she said if she didn't get at least four hours a day to herself she would go insane um because she grew up as an only child but she has to have that so which the only child time is like go in our separate rooms or just no it's just like we're not talking to each other we're just like watching tiktok both in bed i wonder what the longest we've

gone like being in the same room with our girlfriends and not said a word all three of us or like individually who do you think like how long i think i've gone the longest with flan i've never said a word to uh little deaky but you haven't been in the same room with her oh no it might be me since lauren and i shared a room for oh that's definitely andrew and lauren for sure because they shared an awful true and there were some nights we were here till like 8 p.m some nights i stay up editing my podcast some nights the clips just don't come right it's something to find that binder is sitting there editing another podcast too but i still make clips i still edit us i still still not sure what this song is

oh can we just stop now yeah that was pretty good off the dome you know that was the first concert i ever went to really fun well technically first was pentatonix and then fun it was in the same year it was my first two shows and i said i'm gonna be a guy who goes to a lot of concerts after this you guys like owl city yeah you go see him no i just uh i only knew fireflies until the day we were flying back from japan and i found the song vanilla twilight are you familiar no i listened to it almost exclusively on repeat from when we got boarded our plan to when it got canceled actually yeah i think that might have jinxed us yeah that's 100 your fault or like the the cia saw like there's a guy just repeatedly listening to

vanilla twilight he's probably gonna try and hijack this plan dude i gotta check that song out you know what i i the worst part about that whole experience was i fell asleep and was out for like hours and woke up to the guy being next to me like yo we gotta get off the plane it's yo it's been five hours and we didn't move and we have to leave i was like um how long is that flight it was only eight back but it was 10 there it was like nine back for me yeah i should have gone that you should have gone that san fran fresno route what's that like are you guys like drugging yourselves on those flights or no i believe it or not there's the there was this tide for longest flight i've ever taken and i didn't have any drinks i didn't have any drinks

on the way i slept really well on the way home i don't do uh because we can't bring weed to japan we learned that like last at the last second it's like a huge no-no yeah like i was packing weed and flan was like you're not bringing that to japan are you i was like yeah she's like that is like you'll get arrested yeah i was actually i actually went to the dispensary the morning we were leaving and i'm not kidding because i was like i'll take some edibles to like help myself fall asleep on the airplane and i like mentioned that i was going to japan to the guy and he was like oh my god don't do not bring these i was like what oh fuck i hadn't even looked at it so i was gonna go straight from there to the airport but then i had to go home and one of our my hall

but i on to answer your question on the way there i watched argo and the social network oh that's my favorite movie all the time social network it was my first time seeing it argo i really liked you're gonna have you seen that one no i don't think so it's just funny because the is that the prequel yeah it's the prequel there's something there it's funny because in argo like the pinnacle of the drama like the most like palm sweating like dramatic moment is them going through customs and so we get off the plane and we're going through customs and i'm like sitting there like tweaking like back as tense and i was like why am i so stressed out right now then i realized it was because i had just watched argo oh if you're watching star wars and they were

we landed on the death star yeah exactly exactly like that on the way home from customs i didn't talk to one per on the way home like when we landed here i didn't talk to one person they just scanned your face yeah yeah isn't that crazy you have global entry no oh what if you just had What if I had, like, a bunch of stuff? Yeah. Jail. I had my Japanese Rocky poster. I had a Snoopy plush.

I had... Oh, I got some sick Star Wars shit. We got you two gifts, and I left both of them at home. You guys got me a gift? Fuck, two. I'm excited. Wait, I actually want them. Can I just have them?

We got you one gift. Yeah, we did. I forgot. Yeah, you have them? Yeah, they're sitting on my... Flan saw them sitting on my seat and was like, oh, my God, this is sick. Wait, I'm trying to think of what the second one is. Think the first one, but smaller and a different shape.

Got it. Was there any, like, horny stuff in Japan? Yeah, weirdly enough. Yeah. I'm kind of known for that a little bit. I think the first place we didn't even, the first place we didn't, we weren't even filming. Yeah, but. Ah, you can't talk about that either.

I think we should. I'm trying to, yeah, I'm just trying to, like, feel around. Chill off Japan month. Yeah, well, just to, like, yeah. yeah there there was a very horny thing that happened okay that was okay then you're gonna want to see oh in the video yeah nice no i want to ask more questions about it i think maybe maybe you know what japan month will be here soon enough can you freaks lay off for a second and i think we should maybe like halfway through or something we could talk about this but it could

be fun to like have lucas on yep and do like once like the first two vids come out we can kind of do like a recap yep he remembers a lot more than or it's just yeah i just think like he has a he'll help us like read yeah yep how was the natty because if the viewers don't know lucas is a very big oh yeah indiana we didn't really film that so i think we can't we did watch our cameraman was with us and he was he went to indiana and that was the first morning we were in japan the game was at nine in the morning him and i were sitting at the hotel bar and we had my ipad and we're ready to go and we fired up youtube tv is not allowed in japan which is shocking and then so i download a vpn i make it seem like we're in phoenix it was like we beat the system well i

would that was just for some reason that was like the first option it was like this this one's working the fastest and youtube tv snuffed it out called called me on my bs called your bullshit so we found another way around it and uh and using the vpn got in watched it on my ipad then we went to a japanese hooters because we were like it's the only american sports bar here surely they'll have it nope japanese baseball yep and so we just were at the hooters watching it on my phone it's pretty sad once we ubered to the hooters and then realized they didn't have it on and then we were just at hooters the first meal we had in japan was hooters we were and how was it not not good at all dude we were leaving we were like let's get a photo to document this and there were these two

white guys at the bar and so we were like hey can you guys can you guys take a photo for us and they like i can't remember exactly what they said but they gave us like really slime ball energy and we're like this is weird yeah they were weird and then when they're taking the photo they go say kumpai and we were like oh come on man whatever 11 a.m and then we get to a bar like a day later or something and when we're drinking with these guys one of the guys is like kumpai and we were like oh those were just normal guys and they were saying like say cheers yeah kumpai means cheers oh and we've been like we walked out of hooters like jesus christ what about a bunch of sick fucking sex because they're savages because they're fucking sex perverts and then the next

day we find out kumpai means cheers are the japanese hooters uniforms the same yes you fucking freak uh yes they are they are the same and let me tell you i've only been to hooters twice both with you you've been to the two worst shooters literally like the two worst shooters on the plane you went to this one like in a casino in vegas because we were in vegas the week that you remember that headline that was like hooters is going bankrupt and like everyone was bugging out we were in vegas and that came out everyone was bugging out everyone was tweaking oh my god where am i gonna get like my tit shots from tit shots from and um he was like rusty was like i've never been to one i want to go and there's one across the street from our hotel in vegas and it

was like in this other hotel that was like really kind of grim cd yeah it was just like filled it was like gross and the hooters were so gross and it was yeah anyway he's one of the two you got to see like a real good hooters or you don't actually yeah what constitutes like a real good i don't know these were just real bad hooters yeah well the japanese one was funny it was like well there were business men and women on lunch breaks their business gets done yeah but there were like women there too like a lot of almost 50 50 and i was like is it possible that they haven't picked up on what the translation of this is and this is just like a nice little burgers joint well maybe that's like one of the few places they can go to for american food you know sure like that's if

like if there were like an anime bar here but that was the only place you could get sushi around here But anime is not sexy Okay like a hentai bar or something There we go And that was the only place you could get sushi So you just kind of block it out Is hentai only porn? I think so

Can you google hentai? So I had a misstep when I was younger I had seen No I had seen a category On a naughty website That said hentai And I got that mixed up with anime

and i didn't realize that hentai was exclusively like sexy stuff yeah and i was telling we were like joking around in like middle school about like something and like i meant to say anime and i said like hentai and it just exposed myself as someone who's like a gooner a gooner yeah like a total gooner dude do you remember who's that for who's we jerk into that and i like yeah no one you know there's like family guy porn it's do you forget those ads who is that for homegrown simpsons stuff what's homegrown what's the homegrown aspect of it i don't actually know it feels like you know it feels like you know real well i actually don't

know why that came out of my mouth okay should we get into our drafts yeah draft all right first i have a um this guy rocks bbc scientists using cutting edge technology to recreate how a neanderthal's voice would have sounded so this is oh i've haven't i brought this on this was the king you did king oh you're right okay this is scientists have figured out what a neanderthal's voice would sound like using cutting edge technology let's give it a shot this is a human this is a human throat this is a neanderthal and it's very squat probably the voice would be higher so elliot let's try male human voice count over three one two three just pitch up your voice One, two, three.

Now, we might have an idea that a macho sound is low, but that might be very useful, but it gets even more complex. Let's just add a bit of nasal now. One, two, three. Now, the other thing that would be happening, which would actually increase that quality, is a very heavy skull that seems to pull down into the throat there. Now, add to that the fact that they had a fantastic chest,

which is a support system of breath which can produce enormous chest resonance and tremendous power so i imagine that they wouldn't have subtle sounds it would be loud very loud or very very loud and we can try and get that by i'm now going to engage elliot by pushing to me this is actually getting him right into his body now speak now let's make a sound just let's make a huge r and again after one pinnacle whip shot oh my god my question is like who like they don't they don't tell us what his expertise is or like why he would be a good person to like conduct this he's the voice guy one two three Have you seen the new trailer for the Odyssey movie?

No, but what? Travis Scott is in it. Yeah. Is he Odysseus? No, no. It's Matt Damon, isn't he? Okay. What is he?

I don't know. He's the sun. He's the sun? What? Of Odysseus. No, he's the sun. Because it's hot. Fajita, fajita, marga margarita.

What you want a cita? Maybe he's the Cyclops. Why would you say that, Andrew? Why would he be the Cyclops? It's scary. Because he's scary, Will. Astro. Should we do it?

Ooh, four days later, I cannot change. Isn't it weird that like a bunch of guys died at his concert and just nothing? People were mad about it for like four days. Yeah. That's kind of wild. Crowd crush. Should we do our drafts? Yeah.

Do you want to do modern family plots that don't exist, Will, or signs you'd find in your mom's house? Let's do modern family plots. Do you want to tee it up? Yep. Or no, I should tee it up. Okay. What?

Because I've never seen modern family. Gotcha. These are more modern family plots that don't exist. Phil and Claire cannot remember what Luke's middle name is when they're filling out paperwork to enroll him in a new school in an effort to figure out what it is without asking him. They create an elaborate board game called Mistaken Identity that would reveal what his middle name is,

but they soon find out during the game that Luke doesn't know his middle name either. That's awesome. Manny finds a hair in his cereal that he can't identify, so he launches a full investigation He's convinced there's a secret member of the family that nobody is telling him about. His accusations cause every couple in the family to accuse one another of cheating, drive everything to chaos.

Turns out the hair was from one of Lily's dolls. Love it. Is Lily a kid? Yeah. During Alex's college tour of Phil's alma mater, Jay is giving Phil a hard time about not being in a fraternity when he was in college. Phil explains that fraternity life wasn't appealing to him and encourages Alex to not get involved with Greek life.

When Jay insists that they show her the sorority houses, one of the sororities recognizes Phil from their composite photos and the family learns that Phil wasn't in a fraternity in college because he was in a sorority instead. That's awesome. Phil Dunphy is accused of murder and he did it. He's sent to jail for life. After the family makes fun of Mitch for dying,

or sorry after dying idiot sorry after the family makes fun of mitch for being a ginger he dyes his hair black they feel horrible they made him want to dye his hair so in an effort to get him excited about his red hair they take him to a carrot top show after the show everyone forgets why they were there and the only takeaway is that cam now wants to be a prop comic phil dunphy is found to have been falsely imprisoned and is released he struggles to readjust and decides he wants to go back into prison apparently he was like a king in there so he kills a guy for real um all right do you need signs you'd find in your mom's house yeah these are more signs you'd find in your mom's house my glass is always half full of wine if you're reading this you are my family

my diet is ocean spray and i don't mean the juice that's good that's like a beach house yeah i was picturing like a beach house wives come and go mom is forever uh ocean wine corporal punishment repeat divorce wife stay here sand is for the beach shoes are for the house something mine are all at the beach but in my defense my mom lives at the beach thou shalt drink wine w mama bears don't let perverts date their cubs i also had no matter who you marry mom's house is home or maybe it's no matter who you marry mom's house is here like it just doesn't it's like ai slop yep um home is your mom

in this family the f stands for forgiveness if you're uh this house runs on wine friendship and bacon wtf where's the friendship uh that's all i have i really like i we f is for family and we're gonna f the shit out of you in this family the ily stands for i love you yep f is for family prepare to get f'd f is f is for i don't know f is for fuck uh f is for fucking in this house i need money f is for fucking give me cash all right um all right have a good guys thank you so much for listening you have a lovely rest of your wednesday have a great thursday and we will see you deep after the weekend all righty peace calculating route to avoid seeing poverty turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on

the street then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away then take the next exit let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty your donations help the united way fight poverty in thousands of ways like providing food shelter and crisis prevention donate today at unitedwaygt.org this family is on the brink of civil war mob land the hit original series is now streaming on paramount plus the other harrigans don't know the net and google us from the underworld of guy Do you want to step up the ladder? I want Conrad dead.

Starring Tom Hardy, Pierce Brosnan, and Helen Mirren. Do I have to do everything myself? You want more? I'll give you more! Mobland, new season is now streaming on Paramount+.