Will & Rusty's Playdate - we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!

Episode Date: November 6, 2024

Episode 62, heyooo! The boys dive into breaking into the Thanksgiving music scene, the origins of monarchy, non-existent bird noises, and Will’s big Instagram beef. Willy also coins “The Rusty Shuffle,” and Lauren gets Family Guyed—again! Plus, they call up a local linguist to break down some words before drafting real sayings, phrases white people love to use, and taxes that should exist. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SEE WILLY D AND AFTV LIVE IN NEW YORK: https://concerts.livenation.com/almost-friday-tv-live-presented-by-brooklyn-new-york-11-17-2024/event/30006149E2F6366F STREAM WILLY D’S SONG: https://open.spotify.com/track/0rzQOAucT8C8cIZluaGCvo?si=ba5d96e73550442e HEAD TO http://www.drinktriple.com/playdate TO GET 10% OFF THE ORIGINAL HIGH SELTZER USING CODE: PLAYDATE. 0% HANGOVER, 100% SOCIAL. JOIN US IN DRINKING FIREBALL DURING OUR GAME DAYS THIS SEASON https://www.fireballwhisky.com/. MUST BE 21+. GET 20% OFF @CHUBBIES WITH THE CODE PLAYDATE AT https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/PLAYDATE #chubbiespod GET UP TO 30% OFF ON https://www.ekster.com/pages/creator-offer?v2=&utm_source=aspire&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=playdate.pod WITH ANY PURCHASE. USE CODE PLAYDATE FOR AN ADDITIONAL 5% OFF. (00:00) Intro (05:07) Halloweekend (11:08) Meeting our Wives (18:42) Farting in Front of your SO (22:48) Making Friends (28:30) Zumba Scandal (33:53) Airport Nightmare (40:16) Goals Before the New Year (47:03) Roadmap (47:27) Pitch Submissions (01:02:15) Pitches (01:07:50) Teach Me Something (01:16:04) This Guy Rocks (01:24:03) Moves that Don’t Exist with Bobby Dolan (01:31:30) Halloween Traditions that Don’t Exist (01:35:25) Whose Personality are you Stealing? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Very excited. Very, very excited to tell you that Triple is back as our presenting sponsor. We've inked the deal after lots of negotiations. They've settled on $100,000 directly to Will and I every episode. We're very, very excited about it, and we're rich now. Yeah, we bought a house thanks to Triple. Together, they have not paid us enough for two separate houses, but we are bunking together now, and we're having a blast. Triple is the original High Seltzer, and we love it so, so, so, so much.

Folks, it's redefining the party landscape. Come on. Let's get into this fantastic episode of podcasting. are we podcasting yep it's fall we're falling for you falling for pocket i it was my idea a second ago it was like a dentist who says god this is like pulling teeth anything he's doing anytime he's doing something that makes a lot of money you like that learn i don't think like he like wins the lottery and he's like god this is like pulling teeth because he loves it so much because he's a dentist so that's how he makes money oh it's like he uses that phrase to describe

situations in which he's making a lot of money nice didn't get it this is like pulling teeth but it yeah he's like winning at the blackjack table yeah exactly he's like pulling teeth yeah god this is like pulling teeth talking what you're not you don't have to be here yeah um you like it lauren will and i went golfing oh yeah on friday it was viral we went to the lovely black gold golf course it's uh you know what it is yes exactly black and gold black and gold black and gold uh black black gold what are we talking about obama um but we're it's like an hour and a half away we get there we go in maybe we bleep out the or i don't know this wasn't bad because we all are 21 but we went we go into the bar

we go to the bar to like get beers before the round and the as guys do we're guys we're gonna do that and will's like all right i'll do five bud heavies and remind you this is for for the group for the group and then gavin gets like some transfusions and he's like cool all right uh he's like gotta see some ids and and will hands him his id he's like awesome gavin hands gavin's license had just expired this past month the guy was like uh oh hey man you got one that's not expired by any chance and gav was like no i'm sorry he just goes all right you're 21 right gav was like yeah which he is he's 24 and then he looked at me and he goes uh can i get an idea i go my wallet's in the car he goes you're 21 i go yeah and we were like what what's the point of even yeah i mean i

guess like in the i got like a golf course like that it's like you're not like yeah it's not like they're gonna like raid it no it was just it was funny to like he was so trusting yeah of us like he was also like over the top like awesome man don't sweat it yeah it wasn't like okay that's cool it was like gotcha pal great great great shot and then so we're playing we had a blast we meet up with like the one of the pros was in front of us and uh played a couple holes with him it was great uh the biggest pressure i don't know if you golf learned like the biggest pressure in golf is like either joining a new group or a group letting you play through and now you have to hit your shot in front of them and uh they go like all right aim at this point whatever we hadn't

played the hole yet and i hit it like well left of that but not nothing like crazy and it went out of bounds and then i looked at the guy and i was like all right so like just to clarify like this is the aiming point he's like yep and then i hit one that was still like a little bit left of that but like nothing crazy and it went like way out of bounds and i realized that i don't think that was the aiming point he was just fucking with you i don't know i don't know and then we get up there i'm like 200 yards out and he had a friend there who was like partying his nuts off yeah some of those guys were partying their nuts off and uh was kind of chirping in like a fun way and i hit it to like six feet from like 200 yards out which was cool yeah i got really

nervous and hit in the woods yeah oh this is fun we we were coming home and it was one of those nights where it was like kind of quiet do we go out do we not and gavin was like dude let's go to the drunken clam have you been there no so we go to the clam it's in like silver lake okay i think it's technically quahog quahog right okay it's in quahog it's like that part of town and it's like an iconic kind of like yeah like it has like a beachy kind of like hanano feel but it's like yes but it's east side east side well east side and uh uh peter was there joe came joe came brian came and meg came and then uh dude i didn't really know brian but he is the dog he is dude he is the dog he went to brown who is this uh they're i guess you don't know them friends of cleveland

oh you don't know cleveland there's a dude named cleveland that's not crazy um they are gavin's buddies yeah and uh you know like those do you ever like hang out with we might have to take this out but like do you ever hang out with like ivy league guys and like never shut up about how they went to like an ivy league school he went to brown for like two years i felt like he was like fine about it though yeah but he's like i don't know he's like an aspiring writer and like all he talks about is like his book he's like the whitest guy of all time i know and uh do you remember like those like chokers that people used to wear like he like wears like a red like it's almost like a i guess that's like the east side you're allowed to yeah can you picture that i want

to go out there more are they the ones that kind of look like little he has it has a tag it's like a dog collar oh yeah yeah yeah and uh yeah it was bizarre yep and stewie came stewie came and then so peter's dating uh this girl named lois and she which is kind of an all-time name kind of like old-timey i know do you know any lois's i actually might yeah not personally but i've like seen lois's around yeah she's like she always wears what's weird about this crew that like gavin pointed out later is like they all wear like the same outfit every time do you have friends like that you sorta like peter every single time wears like a white button down with like green pants and then lois matches him but she wears a green top and white pants and it's bizarre it's kind of

fun it is i don't hate it i feel like that happens when you hang around people you kind of just your styles merge yeah me and mia dressed so similar really yeah well but yeah have you then did you say meg came at the end yeah dude she's the worst she fucking have you met this girl What if she listens? What? What if she listens? Oh, I didn't think about that. Bleep it.

Bleep it. Replace it with Brian. Greg. Greg. Greg. It was like 80. And this is one of Gavin's friends that you're shit talking about. Kind of like auxiliary.

Yeah. He's kind of the black sheep. They're like their own crew. But Meg, it was like 85 degrees out and Meg was wearing a pink beanie. And so Peter. Like the girl in Despicable Meal. Yeah. Yeah.

This was the craziest thing I've ever seen. So like she's like kind of annoying. and like they all know that she's kind of annoying and meg said something that peter didn't like and he grabbed her head and farted on her face and he said shut up meg isn't that insane and then it was they had like an old-timey jukebox yeah and peter went over and just kept playing this one song oh yeah it was like uh the bird bird bird yeah bird is the word oh well a bird bird bird bird is have you heard that song i don't think so it was crazy oh my god their child you guys had a crazy night i feel like whipping out all these all these strange happenings there well i mean

that's quahog right there yeah where is this you've never been to quahog no it's like out in the east side somewhere i don't know i don't really know the geography i feel like you're making this up why not i don't trust anything you guys um oh my god there so you know did you hear us talk about stewie earlier you're talking about people from what do you call it from that show that's just the plot of family guy what's funny is that when you said stewie i was like oh stewie that guy quahog is like the town they live in the drunken clams the bar they go to peter lois we got your ass i was wondering why you guys kept looking over at me like you never

want me to be this you got family guide again get family guide um wait we're gonna american dad the shit out of you i haven't seen that one yet really neither we gotta google it so i i wore a scarf to get coffee the other day i can't now i feel like you're fucking with me no no i swear um that would be a weird like that's like not an interesting story i thought you were gonna describe yourself as like grew or something can you describe your scarf that you wore it is it's kind of like that but it's like browns and yellows so it's like an it's like a whatever a flannel-y scarf and this was like a this was like i thought about it for a couple minutes before i left the house like everyone's gonna know i'm not a scarf guy like i didn't really know how to like

tie it yeah i can't i can't picture this at all i will and i wore it under my jacket to get coffee and i don't do hard drugs but it was like how i imagined the like the high that i felt like getting away with it like everyone there to them that's just what i wear yeah i think and i got away with it and i think i'm a scarf guy now it was awesome i love it rather scarf guy than a barf guy right yeah this bum me um the way your hands feel i'm officially oh speaking of so i was born with like the craziest dry hands you felt my hands let's go yeah you felt my hands before i found i i had enough on friday i was just i was sick of it and i googled like you're sick of your hands yeah i want to have soft hands i want soft hands better dry than that's a nightmare thing to

though become sick of agreed but i was just yeah the thing you can't go i hate my hands we're gonna take acid with i want my hands off my body but i said enough and i googled like best hand cream for dry hands found this thing called working hands feel my hands they're a little softer they're getting they're getting there wait is that the green bottle yeah well it's a tub for me i use that yeah and i use it because i get little wait so you this is a known thing yeah I get like That is nice It works great now

It's great Hell yeah My hands get sweaty Yeah So I Yeah I remember when I was a kid Like

There were kids in my school It was like hyperhidrosis Like you have like Permanently sweaty hands Oh yeah People get like surgery To get it like fixed But I remember talking to this guy

And he had hyperhidrosis And I had really dry hands And it was one of those moments Where we were like The grass is always greener Yep Like he was like I would kill to have that

And I was like No I would kill to have what you had Yep i i've i would like to mind a little drier but i'm not really yeah they're i think they're fine right now yeah they're very fun but it's just when i'm holding stuff they get really sweaty oh like when i was playing we i've been doing these like live streams weeing it up and so i have the controller in my hand and people walk by like nice shot and like high five me they're always like oh uh no i remember in middle school i had such clammy hands and i

was so nervous i'm like that's awesome yeah how am i ever gonna get a boyfriend like who's ever gonna want to hold my hand my hands are so like i was terrified of ever yeah and coming across the opportunity to hold a guy's hand because my hands were so sweat like i thought they were the inverse of that and you got a boyfriend yeah and i'm good now i guess wow when i was a kid a real fear of mine was i couldn't tell my right from my left and i wait that was the fear no no because of this i i had heard when you get married you put a ring on their left finger okay and a real thought i had was like i'm not gonna be i'm gonna i'm not gonna be able to figure out which hand to put the that's awesome uh i had some uh unhoused people camping outside my house this weekend

no no but i made a big faux pas uh i think i treated that i disrespected them on accident how wait where in your house were they or like sorry where on your like where where on your property there's a trash can with a fire in your living room you're like get out yeah no they literally like out right outside my back gate in they created a tent using my two my trash can and my recycling bin as like the like slipping cans and then excuse me no that literally happened so like i'm trying to i'm trying to remember exactly what we're doing but we're at home and we had to walk to like the cvs um it was scott was at the apartment me and my friend lily were just walking to cvs and back and we get outside the back gate and we're turning right and uh the person the

unhoused person says i apparently they said how are you doing yeah and i heard do you have any money which is so fucked up which is definitely just like my brain like i'm sure they're asking like i don't it was i'm not proud of it and i go i'm sorry i don't have any money and she goes what i just said how are you doing uh and i was like oh my god did you apologize fucking nightmare uh yeah i was like i'm so sorry i did not i completely misheard you that's my fault and she's like oh you're okay have a good one yeah so we go back we come back and on the way back like any chance you're renting that garage out mind you the garage i it's we don't own the property obviously right i should have just said yes and taken taking some money yeah could have

been a huge venture for me start renting out our garage but could have also gone poorly also i don't know how much they would have had to offer so i said no stuff like buttons and nickels but then yeah and then we go in to tell scott this and apparently while we're gone he had gone to try to take out the recycling and like seeing them and kind of gotten spooked at first and then been like no that's fine like and then gone back out and he just had to basically like go into their house and be like excuse me just dumping our recycling and they were like oh i'm so sorry we're not in your way right it was like no y'all good y'all good howdy neighbors and they're like all right have a good night you guys don't have a cup of sugar do you have a teaspoon

anyway it was just kind of funny they were they were perfectly nice folks and they were there all weekend but i just felt bad that i i think that was like a like a bad like freudian slip yeah you're that alley is unhoused alley though like that there my dad and i were getting coffee one time or you guys were both there at will's house and uh and we were walking out and you know when you're looking at looking at um someone who's living on the street and like the way that they have their stuff organized clearly makes sense to them yeah but to us it looks insane he had created this like minefield of like half drank mountain dews and like pea cups and it was like all kind of in your alley and like we obviously don't want to like knock over his stuff so we're just like

tiptoeing not the pea cup i was saving that and um and purig he was giving us like the death stare as we were like he had created this nightmare yeah for us and we were somehow like instead of just like i don't i don't want to say like walking through his like trash but like we were treating it like these were like valuables and like tiptoeing through it and he was just watching like yes all right hey man you know i got a lot of neighbors a lot of people would be grateful to have as many neighbors as i do because my my amount of neighbors goes past the amount of housing units yeah so which to me sounds not fun uh they've been nothing but nice quite honestly yeah i have no i've had not one bad run-in with a homeless person even though they're yeah there's

definitely a lot of them do you remember the guy at the end of clubhouse when we were younger maybe he would make his bed he had a he had found like a kind of a nice mattress and he when he would leave for the when he would go clock in wherever he works yeah those he would make the bed which i always thought was a nice touch respect yeah i would probably do that i don't even make my right foot yeah that's insane to me you gotta lauren you make your bed oh my god you have to i gotta make your bed yeah uh it takes it takes 30 seconds yeah i don't get what the point is i can't leave my house it's like if you the first task that you're given during the day read the book i never read it but i was gifted the book make your bed by uh mr

tarling thank you mr tarling he didn't write that no he gifted it to me uh uh it was written by that like general yeah i know about that book but the thought is if you complete the first task of the day you're already you're already having a good day first test of the day for me is just hanging out yeah and you nailed and i nail it every morning you nail that scrolling that's my first test of the day my mom sent me that ad for the thing where it was like turn doom scrolling into micro learning and it made me want to throw my phone through the window what's micro it's like learning about real small things like ball bearings and coins and nickels and it's a pop quiz grains of rice corn corn the kernels continue small little things like little um bugs and

needles and beetles and screws whatever having a roly-poly i feel like those were a bigger part i got wiped out dude it's covid oh i love are they actually they did they obviously not covid but like i remember seeing hundreds of roly-polies on a day-to-day basis when i was like is it just because you're lower to the ground yeah i think you're looking for them too right yeah like i remember me and my buddy owen would just go out there looking for stuff under rocks yeah oh man you ever like go get like crayfish little crawdads we'd go down into the streams and lift up rocks and they'd just all be sitting there crawdads where the crawdads saying where were you looking under rocks in stream what state well i was looking for crayfish when i did in pennsylvania

but by the time i moved to south carolina they were crawdads i remember look crawdad no i know they exist i'm more just confused the same thing as a crayfish do you call them crayfish so i've never called them anything because i've never seen one of those in person wait really never oh they're just like lobsters for babies oh nice and they're they live they hide under rocks in streams lobsters for babies that should be a oh my god sorry no i wasn't gonna say i didn't think it was gonna be that good i cut you off to save you yeah uh no i'm kidding um i had an idea for a movie this weekend yep uh it's like a it's like a 2000s uh like family comedy kind of it's called kid babysitter of course i told you about this earlier yes but

i want to hear it again okay kid babysitter i'll put you to lauren too it's like um they the mom's like all right your baby's like babysitter be here babysitter will be here in just a minute your dad and i are going out for dinner um you know we'll be back later and the babysitter comes up to the door and arrives and it's actually also a kid and the kids are like and the kids are like and he goes kid babysitter and then it just cuts like a montage of them like going yeah crazy around the house wiping his ass yeah they're wiping his ass no they're not wiping his ass there's no asses there's no kids as they're old enough to wipe there's no kids asses in this movie i just want to get in case there's like a director listening yeah but um yeah i mean i think

there's all sorts of stuff that could happen like where it's like um the kid calls like order pizza it has to do like a adult voice or something right and when the pizza man comes then they have to like go in a trench coat so that it seems you know what i mean or like pick your brain real quick pick do you think do you think only adults can order pizza no but in this movie the kids think that right i feel like that's plausible like as a kid yeah or maybe what's things only adults can do that aren't like fucking weird take out a loan yeah maybe they take out a loan maybe they create like yeah they're creating more problems they're doing stuff they don't need to do but they've run out yeah or it's like maybe that's

like phoenix and ferb type shit like where they build like some crazy contraption in the yard oh there's a there's a um there's like an intruder or something that's like home alone and yeah and they need to stop him yeah so the parents are just leaving well they they they're like the babysitter will be here in five minutes like and they're they're late for their res so they're yeah i guess that's a little weird but i think that's maybe like one of the kids at least old enough where it's like they can be home for five minutes oh i thought it was like a newborn my babysitter my mom used to leave and be like hayley will be here in 30 i had a babysitter i had a few babysitters that sucked growing up oh really kind of my parents were like running through

the gauntlet of like trying to find a good babysitter uh one of them was like a dude i think he was the only dude babysitter we ever had and he we had like freeze pops in the freezer and he let us eat an entire thing of freeze pops in one day and it was the best afternoon of my life my parents came home like what do you do in what world can a kid have 35 freeze pops like and so he got the can we had one in the car like oh yeah we had one kid who like uh it was a girl that i guess like was like a bad driver which is not not that i would expect that uh so don't make a fucking don't make a look at me and uh she apparently would drive down one-way streets and have major freak outs every time like oh what the fuck like a fucking and my brother and sister

were like mom we gotta get rid of this lady she's going crazy in the car and then uh yeah i don't know we had one that i think made me a hot dog that one's not a good one or not a good story that one was a middle of the road yeah but then we just did her job yeah then we landed on tasha and tasha was the best dude she had a she had a pool at her house and she would take you see what she's hot yeah i don't know or not no i was child i was like seven i feel like that's a classic like having a crush on your babysitter i didn't have i don't think i had a crush on her well anyway she would take us to her house and that we play the watermelon game because she had a pool at her house the watermelon you know the watermelon game i'm excited to learn that it's uh i think it's two

teams and you have a watermelon and you're trying you have to try to keep it underwater while the other team tries to bring it up to the surface or something or maybe you have to go score a goal but you have to keep it underwater the whole time and they float so it's like to pass it you have to but they're like heavy enough that like you can pass it like like if you push it down and with enough velocity it'll float over to the other guy then he can trap it before yep very fun uh i had i had mostly lovely lovely babysitters the only negative one i can think of i might have told you guys this story already she would babysit us and i think the first red flag was she was like 16 but had like a tongue piercing nice and i remember i remember her telling me it was a tic

tac and i was always confused why i was in their song not that big of a red flag but like says a little bit worth noting yeah worth noting it's one of those things where if if you're lovely it's fine but then like when other shit starts to go haywire you're like also why does she have a tongue piercing yeah but she went to a party she was in high school went to a party and was bragging to another high schooler about how much she was stealing from our house without my parents noticing like stealing like jewelry like money like all this stuff and bless this person whoever this like really good samaritan high school kid was was like played it cool and and was like oh nice story and then wrote a handwritten letter saying hey i just want to let you know elise oh

don't actually no fuck you elise uh is stealing jewelry and money from your house you should go take inventory and then call the cops and uh that's why my mom went look her her usc class ring was gone which is like something you can't replace necklaces like lots of money somehow i don't know where we were keeping money but like she found money um called the mom of the girl the they both like emphatically denied it uh and then i don't think we ever got to the bottom of but like like so she never got it back never got it back and i think it'd be one thing it sucks if it's like a necklace that was expensive but you could just go buy another one or like maybe like you could file like insurance on it it was like the frustrating thing was that it was things that

she couldn't replace yeah which was weird that is um but we had another babysitter that happened yeah i don't remember it but uh hayley was the best babysitter i've ever had shout out hayley Shout out to Hayley. Mother of two now. Lovely woman. We still follow each other on Instagram. She comments hearts every once in a while, which I think is fun. Sweet.

Love it. I actually had one babysitter I didn't mention that is very much still in my life. Oh, nice. Yeah. But the end of that story was I found out that Hayley was babysitting my friends. And I was fucking. I was. Yeah.

Like you're getting cheated on. I was furious. That's funny. And I didn't find it out until we like weren't. Like I remember telling my friend like, oh, Hayley was the best. Yeah. and my friend chris was like yeah i loved hayley and i was like oh you found out like later in life yeah i was like what yeah that's like finding out i wasn't dr vu's favorite patient

heartbreaking heartbreaking you weren't his little guy her her uh women can be a woman's place is in the dentist's office you what a woman's place is in the dentist's office i want to get that embroidered um my friend andrew you told us a funny story one time you got uh you know when you go i don't lauren i don't know if you know this but when you get a physical as a boy they like cup your balls and like check for like bumps and stuff and then they you like turn your head and you cough it's a hernia check that's okay that's what it is i always want to go like this and then you go because i've always i've done it i've like held my own balls and turned and coughed and nothing happens to my balls well

you haven't had a hernia okay good is but like does something clear yeah i remember a kid had one growing up no but if you have a hernia do they go like wow yeah like eyes in like a cartoon yeah but he said and i think this is super unprofessional i don't think they're supposed to do this a nursing student was like sitting in which i think is fine but the doctor let the nursing student do the balls part and he said he got a boner and uh and wait who is this my friend andrew and then was it a girl wait this or a guy or no no it doesn't matter the student girl like who's probably like our age now was like at like a local college and doing like a residency or something and the doc the pediatricians let the girl do the balls part and only the balls part

and then when she when he dropped his pants and she was checking his balls he got a boner because like 23 year old girls holding his balls how old was he we were probably like 10 or 11 oh that's funny and uh and he said the girl laughed i feel like he was always like i feel like they would like bring in a guy to do it if it wasn't yes no i think that's like that's why he like he was telling the story again like years later oh and we were like that is kind of weird that they did that i remember being worried i did i had like an old old man doctor yeah and i was worried that i was gonna think of something hot before right before he came in the room and then it looked like i because you're thinking all day you're like i'm gonna get my balls cupped yeah and i

was worried i was gonna think of something something hot and then when he when i pulled my pants i was gonna have a raging boner that would be awful be the worst thing in the world i don't think i want to have a raging boner when i'm getting my dr ball cupped what's your dr ball no no dr ball cupped he's from cliff mixtape he's from romania dr ball cup dr ball cup my my locker at our golf club was next to my pediatricians and i went to the doctor for i went to the pediatrician for like you know you can go until you're like 18 19 like i was like way too old to be in this yeah pediatrician's office and like there were other like kids running around the waiting room and i remember there was

one day where i got a physical he held my balls and i went to play golf and he was in the locker room next to me new from Nespresso blend wellness into your coffee routine with a coffee plus range infused with functional benefits choose the coffee you love with added b vitamins like coffee plus b12 to help support immune function and coffee plus b6 to keep your day moving or go with the flow and choose ginseng delight our new double espresso with ginseng extract whatever lies ahead don't change your morning let your morning change you discover coffee plus on nespresso.com yeah yeah wait i kind of lost so i'll tell you we're having i did my checkup yeah my balls were in his hands he washes his hands i leave i go to play golf and then he also goes to play golf got

it and we were in the locker room standing next to each other this same day he had held my balls guys as you already know this podcast is brought to you by triple triple is the original high seltzer with three milligrams of thc and just 15 to 20 calories triple offers a social buzz similar to that of your favorite hard seltzer light on calories high on life it's all natural gluten-free and again just 15 to 20 calories will why do you love triple so much first of all let me just say i'm stoked to be working with triple again agreed could not be more of a fan of their products during our little hiatus there i was just buying them myself so uh very excited that they're not sending us even more of these things i love them uh the grapefruit flavor is i can't

say enough good things about but they're all great that's just a personal favorite i i'm thinking hey it's election night tonight yep what better way to kind of take a little bit of stress off as we watch these results trickle in then i don't know maybe a triple high seltzer we'll watch the result Or two. Triple in. Yeah, we're going to be tripled out of our gourds watching the election results triple in. Seriously.

And, man, I'm just happy. This is an authentic grin on my face that we are back working with these folks. Guys, Triple is currently available at grocery stores, liquor stores, bars, and restaurants in Missouri, Kansas, Iowa, Louisiana, Georgia, and Florida, and will be available in Illinois, South Carolina, Arizona, and Ohio by end of year.

Looking at you, Lake of the Ozarks. Nationally, it is currently available online. To get it now, go to drinktriple.com and use code PLAYDATE to get 10% off your order. That's drinktriple.com and use code PLAYDATE for 10% off your order. Triple, redefining the party landscape. All right, guys, quick shout out to our partner, Fireball. Fireball Whiskey is the perfect shot for game day, whether you're grabbing some of those sneaky little shooters before going into the stadium

or going big with the fireball keg for your party. Whether it's a pregame shot in the tailgate lot or a celebratory touchdown shot at the bar, no matter the method, fireball is guaranteed to ignite your game day. Will and I have a fun little tradition that we've been doing with our BC Eagles this year. After every touchdown, we take a fireball shot.

And if we win or if we lose, Will and I usually keep the night going with a couple more fireball shots. I'm not a big fan of shots in general. Sometimes they go down a little bit bitter, but the one shot, I take a couple shots, but one of my favorites is a fireball shot. It just goes down a little bit smoother.

I like it ice, ice, ice cold. Get a little fire and ice action going. Love that. So delicious. While so many things make football great, guys, we can all agree that nothing beats crushing your rival. There's absolutely no better feeling as an athlete or as a fan. This season, Fireball Whiskey wants to provide an extra spark

to ignite football rivalries all season long. Here's what I will say. We had a bye week this week, which might be the closest we come to winning for the rest of the season. So we also took a shot to celebrate that. Obviously, you know, we have this bet going with Lauren. It's looking bad.

I think we might be mathematically fucked. I've crunched a couple numbers. I don't think it's possible for Will and I to win. So we're going to have to get a cake with Lauren's face on it. We will have to get a cake with Lauren's face on it. and you know what? We'll have a couple shots of Fireball, win or lose. It's looking like lose.

Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate. All right, we're doing vanilla. We're doing vanilla. Fireball's iconic cinnamon flavor tastes fire and goes down easy, making it the ultimate crowd pleaser. Go pick up some from your local liquor store and join us in drinking Fireball during our game days this season.

I one time saw the Market Master naked, and it, who's that? so in in lancaster pa oh there he goes the rusty shuffle once per episode he gets up and shakes it all out oh speaking of cup and your balls he just touched his actual nutsack on air true i was pulling my skims out from my balls all right well i longer i can't now i can't stop think about his balls uh the market ew gross i forgot we were recording a podcast in lancaster pennsylvania uh there's a big there's a market downtown called central market it's awesome it's like the coolest market i've ever been to because all the amish people come in from all the surrounding areas and they bring in their produce and stuff they have like the best apple cider there's this

middle eastern stand called saif's that i used to rip get chicken cheese wraps they gummy one of those gummy places where you get a little bag and you can take you can mix and match all different sorts of gummies unreal central market likes your coolest spot ever uh what was i saying oh the market master how are you all right just keep going the market master was like kind of like a well-known like a like a well-known position in the in leicester like it was like you knew the mayor you knew the market master you knew the mayor like you knew who the mayor was actually the mayor right now is like a very close friend family friend but i don't think i've ever known my mayor yeah it was like when i was growing up it was right after he moved away my dad's friend

just ran my dad ran this like environmental non-profit with this other lady and then she decided to run for mayor and she won that's been the mayor for like eight years anyway the market master market master was like a revered position in the town everyone knew who the guy was i guess and one time my dad and i went to the ymca and we went to the locker room to change to play like racquetball or something and there was the market master you know like in the locker rooms where they just shot his nuts and balls and butt and how old was the market master like an old guy like my dad's age or something stuff and we saw him and i just remember i remember walking i was like dad was that the fucking market master i just saw his complete ween just saw his gooch and uh

it was and i remember that being like something that i would like bring up for like years yeah remember we saw the market master naked yeah i remember so that was that was a defining point in my childhood at least it's so good yeah uh i want to go back there right this time for the market yeah the central market it was so sick it was the coolest thing of all time it smells good in there oh ben barrett and i were talking about this the other day do you remember i always remember that als ice bucket challenge what was that actually no i'm kidding okay um did you guys use that as like a form of like flirting you would like oh like the people like nominate girls that you like yeah nominated like my uncle

i think why would you want that i don't know like uncle dave get in there man i want uncle sam to do the fucking ice cream i got my grandma to do it i remember dunking her like keep going no something about my fucking grandma I was gonna say like that seems like a dangerous game to be like like I've never I would never like put my grandma in a position where like the heart might start racing or something

oh I'm sorry you wouldn't have to worry about that anymore you fucking asshole I keep forgetting that she died Jesus Christ this guy has no moral compass at all it's just like oh another podcast like can I make fun of Will's dead grandma again it was my first November without her

same without your grandma without my grandma no without my grandma uh she used to always make wait i have one thing to say about my grandma while i'm thinking of it uh she used to make like on turkey thanksgiving on thanksgiving she would put the turkey just cut put it in a cooler and fill the cooler with jack daniels and soak it overnight but and then my mom would take it from there and like make the turkey and it i don't think it changed the flavor at all but this was like it's a tradition they were like sneak a ladle no but i remember like grant grandy would pull up with fucking eight bottles of jack daniel no way i swear to god she soaked a whole turkey

in whiskey and then we just dumped the whiskey out do you guys have those friends that remember when like like people figured out you could you could fry the turkey yeah and then they like burn their face everyone was like setting their houses on fire yeah i remember the first time i'd seen someone do it like four or five people like narrowly avoided third burns like it because they they no one had any knowledge of how to it's such a large thing to fry if you put it in too fast you like explode i think the important thing is just to do it in your kitchen because then you have like towels and stuff if it makes a mess i saw something where the like local fire departments were like urging people to bake their turkeys instead just being it's not it's not worth it

my dad smoked our turkey last year uh and like his big green egg and it was just taking forever and i think it really stressed him out everyone was like where's the turkey he's like i'm fucking i don't know it's just like a huge thing to smoke working on it yeah so i think this year i think this year my mom said we have to make thanksgiving dinner actually she called me about this the other day i would say no well it's because my dad has to be in boston up until the day of thanksgiving right and so my mom is there with him so we don't have any like she's not gonna be able to prep anything and make it like they're gonna have to come up are you gonna just are you just gonna like go find a kitchen that can do it are you gonna try and do it i think we're me and my brother

gonna and sister gonna try to do it but i have no idea what that i'm actually kind of excited because it'll be like we'll have like three days of like yeah you're gonna have a way better appreciation for your mom i know which is what i'm worried about i know i'm worried you can kind of right get to her head oh like i was the opposite where you're like now you're gonna be i don't know continue no i just like i'm i don't want i know that she definitely works way harder than anyone gives her credit for and i'm worried yeah we find out then we're gonna feel guilty by the way we've acted for the last 25 years yeah so like i don't really want that guilt on my conscience you know i think i'd rather but yeah we're gonna have to figure we're gonna have to

fucking figure it out we we do it in florida now and i think people are they've been like experimenting with ways because at some point everyone reaches the point we're just like i don't want to fucking cook anymore and like the aunts it used to be like all the aunts get together and like just figure it out and then i think it's like you guys clearly don't appreciate how hard this is whatever and then they have to do the like the kids have to do the dishes after it's like a whole thing so they catered it one year and like that really wasn't the same because that feels weird yeah and so now the last couple years we've been doing it at our aunt's like club and it's like a buffet style thing get in get out there's a bartender which is nice that is kind of

nice now you get in get out it's an excuse i like i like i like dressing up like i think that's fun and like at home if you're the guy that like wears like a blazer everyone's like hardo but if you like have to wear a blazer yeah and you can kind of play it where it's like oh i don't want to do that but in your head you're like i get to dress up you know what i think might be perfect to wear to thanksgiving but yeah you and i feel like that's something sam would wear and me yeah because i'm brother you're slowly turning into sam with the mustache i know i'm worried about the copycat allegations he was supposed to shave his after the mets lost and he didn't i've never seen him without a mustache i know did i tell you my sister saw sam on hinge learn really oh i forgot you told

She sent me a screenshot and she was like, is it weird if I like Sam? And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, get this ball. Because in my head, then it's like, if this works out, now Will and I are doing Thanksgiving together. Now Will and I are doing Christmas together. Did you like him? She didn't like him. She got nervous.

Oh. That's a bummer. Are they around the same age? I think they're the exact. 30? No. He's a little older. She lives in New York?

She lives in New York as well. My question to her that I never asked was, how did she know that that was Will's brother? everyone says he looks just like me there's no way she would have had because hinge moves fast he probably like cloud chaser probably has a picture with me oh you think i get sent i get sent uh hinge things a lot of guys have pictures with you and i in their hand i yeah we have seen yeah and people will text it no i've had friends or one of my friends sent me a girlfriend that she a guy she came across was a photo of thank you multiple photos i've also yeah like you haven't made it we haven't we need to have some people start impersonating us you haven't i have a

friend until someone's in person i have a friend from college it's like a girl in charleston yeah and all my high school buddies in charleston i she's repeatedly sent me pictures of me and my high school buddy that my high school buddies have put in their profiles of us oh that's funny yeah um wait what was i gonna say though fucking it was gonna be viral we're going oh we're doing the live show in new york yep live sketch comedy if any playmates in the new york area want to come uh just will just me yes uh well me and the other sketch guys yes this company um but yeah november 17th you should come you can find tickets online.com where do you think

the most playmates are I feel like we definitely have access to that data probably Boston or New York yeah I was thinking about this the other day there's Halloween music

yep there's Christmas music why is there no Thanksgiving music what about this one I mean I think there is turkey turkey you make me wanna work you

okay besides that one that we'll that we'll just made up there's Thanksgiving music there's not what's Thanksgiving music but like not popular enough

Like, no one's playing Thanksgiving music. If you went to a holiday place, it's all... Nicotine and gravy? Oh, great. Isn't that second one it says just, like, a racist thing? Yeah, jive turkey, I think, is a big no-no. But here's my... Here's my thought.

If we pioneer that genre of music... Should I write a Thanksgiving song? Yes, we should do that, and then we could be... Like, you know how Mariah Carey has made like $100 million off of Christmas music? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We could just get a small sliver, before everyone else catches on, of Thanksgiving music. Because I'm also tired. I walked in here the other day, second Halloween was over, there was Christmas music playing

in this office, which I love Christmas as much as the next guy, but we have to wait a little bit. Thanksgiving's my favorite holiday. Same. I agree. Because, you know what, it's not all about the fucking gift giving and everyone trying to be so superficial. Yeah.

I just want to be a person, man. i don't want to be a dollar sign on a gift wrap i don't want to be you can ask for for christmas oh my god something big yeah uh my mom sent out that text the other day she said send links my mom said i haven't thought of my mom said no more presents this year and i am pissed wait what i'm not even kidding she was like maybe like this year we just you know we're all grown up now so maybe we don't have to do all the presents under the tree thing and i was like full fucking shit because my sister got until she was 32 and my brother got until he was 30 yeah and so then i all of a sudden because i'm last i get fucked over for nine years of presence you should say i think i should get

if i get nine years of presence this nine years for the presence this year then we're good yeah but that is bullshit i'm getting fucking hosed sorry i will i would throw an app the the day that that happens i'm gonna freak out i'm gonna throw an absolute temper tantrum and and it's gonna keep happening shoot my mom was like i don't even like get like what like what you got like you legos last year i was like yeah it was awesome it was awesome i built them but i want more toys yeah or or do you guys ever ask for like clothes i'm not coming now though now that i'm a little older that's kind of all i asked for i set the record yesterday for least times gotten out of bed or my personal my pr i i woke up we put on um we put on the end of the patriots

game what are you making that face about we oh yeah we can move on i i have a girl i like she's that we want to hear fucking humiliate that i want to hear don't ever don't ever say that shit around me the girl that smells nice and sleeps in my bed oh what does she smell like we wear our pjs she smelled it kind of smells like that candle honestly oh yeah do you miss her yes we're texting right now actually smells like oreos and chocolate um yeah there's a girl that where's where's my pjs in my bed which is pretty nice pretty cool stuff what do you wear her i have multiple sets of pjs i wear her pages they're busting at the scene um and we ordered kofax burritos got out of bed to get those ate them back in bed uh did not get i did not get out of bed

until probably 6 p.m to make dinner and i got back in bed and ate in bed wow but and then i got up again and i had an absolute blowout from the pasta sauce it always sounds like a good idea and then i literally this is the second time i've done it when i'm talking to myself and i tell myself never again what were you gonna say i was gonna say that you keep telling this story and actually he didn't get up to pee or poop at any point so i actually i i only peed once during the day i literally think i got up less than three times that's crazy or less than four times kofax is gas it was gas what kind did you know it's like a bacon deli yeah but i didn't got i didn't no avocado they have jalapenos and semantics but uh i watched i watched peaky blinders and

survivor yesterday nice i watched football with troy what i know i you know it's weird i can't even really watch football anymore so i watched a little bit yesterday and for some reason i i was usually it's the highlight of my week yeah i was like you know what no we were watching football and then we're like i want survivor and yeah like yeah do you have beers yesterday no do you no no just just drinking water coffee nice uh it was nice last last thing about this girl every place i've gone to dinner has been a lauren recommendation yep she's knocked every single one out of the park we were at this one place i should say that it's their troy recommendations okay through thank you troy yeah they've all been great we're at this one place

on the top of like a mountain overlooking los angeles we forgot the dodgers are playing yeah we're sharing this nice romantic moment together romantic mother we're sharing this whoa little oedipus slip up there run the clip he said romantic mother he just said romantic i'm in love with my mom um sorry fireworks start going off because we didn't know the dodgers were playing we thought this is just awesome and uh it was great and then a and then a bunch of fires broke out really i mean not people were just like setting fireworks setting shit on fire yeah apparently it happened right by our house too i was i think here but scott said there were fireworks going off all around our house and he's a yankees fan so he was like god

damn it we were we were i was uh i was on the couch with ty yeah and then we go to bed we got our separate ways i lie down i turn off the lights put on my eye mask you just hear um a firework off literally right outside of our window and it must have been next to the guy who so the car alarm goes off but this firework goes off this guy goes no and then the car alarm went off for like 20 minutes jesus i hate you said i mask do you sleep with an eye mask sometimes i think he said imax what would that be they put on the film oh i'm mad put my imax on get my popcorn ready should we road map?

we're having the best time somebody recently wait what somebody recently commented and they were like do you think you guys can get to the road map a little quicker someone was like you must be new here alright

I'm peeing while you do the road map sounds good we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we are doing your pitches followed by our pitches and then we have this guy rocks followed by everyone's favorite segment teach me something and then will and i are gonna do it's tax season so we're gonna do taxes that don't exist and then uh things white people like to say and then excuse me excuse me this one's kind of gross

or not gross this one's kind of dumb will and i are gonna do sayings that do exist gross this one's kind of gross um all right lauren will's gone what should we talk about wait it's tax season right now no i don't know why i said that we were thinking we're thinking politics what's related to politics uh taxes new taxes right we're gonna come up with new taxes how was your weekend laura it was good oh i've i mean troy started the joker a few weeks ago but then like fell asleep and didn't finish it and we finished on friday night what do you say you guys fell sleep yeah sleep in the same bed sometimes gross sometimes he kicks me out really no no but no we fit how big is his bed uh i think it's a queen how big is your bed i think it's a queen how big

is your bed queen let me guess california king or something alaskan king no it's a queen but i got an argument with someone they said that they don't think it's a queen and i went and got a i got a measuring tape and measured it to prove that it was a queen oh um no but we finished the joker unreal movie i don't know how i've never seen it before i loved it oh you i thought you mean you started the joker as in like there was a tv series you started and didn't finish it the movie yeah right all right so pitch us lauren pitch you got a pitch no ah it's from the playmates also not an ad but chubby sent us these actually there might be a chubby's ad read Will and I are both wearing them

the greatest the most comfortable flannel I've worn in forever they look great on you guys thank you sounds like an ad it's not an ad but there might be

there also might be a Chubby's ad at this because they sent us products so maybe that's why also why did you say they were damp yeah Will's was

listen I don't want they sent I'm very grateful I'm very grateful to have received these and I don't want to sound I don't think anyone else's will come damp

that being said I don't know what it must I don't know what happened honestly because it was in a plastic bag bag inside another larger plastic package and it was really damp but i still i'm wearing it it's

that good yeah and it's drying out now it feels great it's kind of like i wish i didn't say that because now it sounds like an ad this is not an ad i was just saying i like them but there also might be a trevis ad because all right just go into the pitches all right all right first pitch is from anna christine darling how to boy akc acd it's a acdc pitch idea hello lauren and the thumb suckers what is the fuck what is the worst part it cuts back because we're sucking each other's thumbs what is the worst part of driving on a two lane highway uh crashing people sit in the left lane and they don't get out of it they think that they can just sit there and just go the speed limit if you're not passing someone get out of the left lane she says having to pull into the

opposite lane to pass a car in front of you this becomes especially difficult if the car in front of you is rather large or the road has lots of curves and hills this is where the go drone comes in handy this is an AI drone that is attached to the roof of your car that you can send out in front of you and it will send you a signal when it is safe to pass

it could also be used in parking lots to find you a parking space or when you forgot where you parked your car love it what? I said I love it your drone can come get you and take you to your vehicle

i love it i love it and but here's here's what i love about it so much i will be driving through these parking garages and uh pull up on like three different spots that look open and there's a fucking honda fit there they're so small and it looks like there's a spot there and then i'll be driving and i go there must be a honda fit there and so i drive past it but by the time i notice there's no car there i'm already too far away with this drone i would know exactly where it is I guess it's a well-named car in retrospect. Yeah. It can fit in lots of little things.

You know who drives a Honda Fit is our former co-worker, Emily Marcus. That is awesome. I just love these moments on podcasts where we get to share fun. I think if you drive a car that is that short, you have to not pull in all the way because I get so excited and I think there's a spot. Stop pulling in all the way, Honda Fits. Dude, I remember one time me and Garrett Kelly were driving to Spanish class in high school. I went to, not to be a braggart, I went to college Spanish class my senior year of high school.

Did you have to go to like the local community college? It was College of Charleston. Oh, that's sick. Yeah, so we would drive, we would leave, we had like a free period where we get to leave and go to CCC. Did you guys ever get like, did any kids ever be like, party at Ryan's later? Not really. I looked so young in high school that I think anyone was like, that would be weird. We would go over to, I would go over to like Paul Whitaker's dorm after.

You had like boys at CSU? Yeah, because I was a senior in high school. So the kids who had, my friends in the grade above from high school were like freshmen at CSU. But we, you should have like rushed a fraternity. Well, I did do, I did do the Model UN at College of Charleston and I won when I was in high school. They were like, this fucking kid, just go back to. Yeah, I think I just took, I like tried way harder than anyone. i was russia and i was in a thing about climate change and i was just a fucking terrorist i was

just like denied climate change shot down all the legislation uh it was honestly so much fun to play like a climate denial you have to play the way the country would react yeah like that's like that's how you like can't reward it like i was yeah it was russia and they are yeah so i just had to be like that's kind of awesome that you get to argue a point that you don't actually believe yeah it was so much fun and then i won because i was such an everyone in my group hated me but i one yeah it was like effective but anyway uh did you go did you walk around campus at all yeah sometimes yeah do you think anyone thought you were in college or was like that's clearly like a i don't know i mean a year later i was in college so yeah i'm sure some people thought

i've seen pictures of you as a freshman in college though and it's like that's not a college student correct yeah there was a kid that i would eat breakfast with at rollins that i think went to like a localized because he wore like a lanyard with his id card on it so it was like and he looked 14 yeah we would eat breakfast next to each other but like a couple seats away and i never got the balls to ask him like how old are you but i think he was like under 15 yeah i definitely looked like that yeah uh anyway the moral of the story was me and garrett were driving to class because this other kid was also in the class from my high school and we uh i was trying to park in a parking lot and i was cutting it really close on like a pole in my i was driving my dad's car my mirror

hit the pole have you ever like hit just your mirror on something like slowly closes it fucking no it like crumpled i went like ah i was like i was like oh my god i irreparably fucked up that thing and then the moment i reverse out of it it just goes like and like pops i'm telling you the car mirrors are designed like so that if they just the mirror gets hit it like instantly crumples in a way that looks like devastating but it can pop look look up car mirror crumpling actually i want i've only ever seen this in person and i was blown away maybe this just was a freak accident i think no it's like how no i think i can picture what you're talking about like the re you see how like see how the no like see how like the glass part is like there's like a layer in between it and

the actual shell it's like the actual outside shell completely like collapsed in i don't know it was it might be one of those things like you know in theory like if i hit my hand on a desk like the atoms could line up and like go through yeah like you hit it in the perfect way that could never be replicated it was unbelievable last wasn't cracked at all there was no sign of any damage my dad never knew i saw a guy the other day you know that you know cyber trucks are bulletproof really yeah oh yeah wait i shot one and i thought i killed it yeah um apparently they're bulletproof and this fucking i think i think anyone owns a cyber truck unless you're a playmate and you're listening and you're in your cyber truck i think if you own a cyber truck

you're a dork and yeah dorko mode unless unless you're driving and you're being respectful about I just feel like a lot of these guys got it and they were like shooting arrows at it and like shooting it with guns and stuff to be like, this thing's indestructible, whatever. And I've always wanted it to just go wrong. And I watched a video of a guy shoot his Cybertruck and the bullet just went through. And I felt so good about it. Jesus. Yeah.

Okay. Love your pitch. What is it? ACD? Hannah Christine Darling. What a lovely name. That is a lovely name. Hannah Darling.

Darling. Darling is a lovely last name. It's a darling last name. Yeah, you have your friend, Philip Darling. Philip Darling, yeah. What is it, Tarling? Yeah. All righty.

Dude, the election's tomorrow, and we're shooting this Wii video of the Wii Olympics. So the two of us are going to be playing the Wii Olympics as the election results. Because it's the end of the workday here, which is like, polls close at 7 East Coast,

which is like most of the big states. So it's like, as the big results are rolling in, we're gonna be playing uh it's awesome well i'll probably be here what i mean i don't mean this part i don't mean this podcast podcast anyway i forgot you do that should be fun all right who thinks gonna win i think it's a total toss-up honestly the guy who's perfectly or the guy who is uh accurately guessed it every the only one he got wrong was gore but he argues that he got it right because oh yeah that's fair um but he said he thinks uh kamala is gonna win we'll see there's

a big selzer poll over the weekend jn selzer it's like one of the most respected pollsters ever yeah and she she's in iowa so she usually does the primaries very accurately she like predicted obama would win and before that was cool and she predicted her poll said that kamala was up three points in iowa which is insane if i was not even supposed to be on the table i always wondered it always feels like the polls are inaccurate because i feel like people are just embarrassed to put them out no to say like who they would oh yeah i mean that could be true yeah and then they vote differently but i think that's like part of i think there's like a lot more that goes into polling where it's not just like they pull x amount of people and like there's like a

lot of like sampling specific demographics and trying to like i don't know i don't really understand it's actually fascinating the whole thing have you seen those new commercials that they've been doing where it's like make the right choice whatever they pick guys that they pick like if you like drew like a cartoon of a trump guy or like trump woman it's like what they would look like and they go with their buddy and their buddy's like or there's one where it's like a guy going in with his wife and it seems like they're in a horrible relationship and he's like you're gonna make the right choice honey he's like yes i am darling and then she goes in and votes for kamala wait really that's the real ad yeah pull it up learn uh pull it up learn uh look

up uh like did you make the right choice honey trump commercial your turn honey in the one place in america will women still have a right to choose you can vote any way you want okay when i sell my business i want the best tax and investment advice i want to help my kids and i want to give back to the community oh then it's the vacation of a lifetime i wonder if my head of office has a forever center an ig private wealth advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonize your business your family and your dreams get financial advice that puts you at the center find your advisor at igprivatewealth.com and no one will ever know did you make the right choice sure did honey remember what happens

that's funny wait click on this lady i think i know this is yeah she's she started mom's man she's i've met that i've i'm yeah she's more followers than us she's more followers than us yeah and she oh and emerge yeah she i've worked i worked with her back in my political days oh wow uh my mom did this it's like training for a woman to run for office then she never actually ran but nice cool okay should we do the next pitch yeah all right next pitch is from christopher chris olivier he or she says hey lauren in the freaky squad my idea is called tony the tailor don't you hate finding out that your favorite shirt doesn't fit anymore or that those fire pants you love are just a little too short now fire pants in comes tony

the tailor a magical mirror of sorts tony is a talking mirror with an italian accent that sits anywhere you want on your closet door your bedroom wall etc put on an item of clothing that doesn't fit anymore and stand in front of your mirror tony will scan your body with the clothing and will identify the right tailoring measurements for you all while hyping you up and telling you how rocking these clothes will be once he takes care of them after the measurements are taken tony will find the same item of clothing online with the perfect measurements and have it shipped to your house for a small monthly subscription fee of 20 but the mirror itself costs 500 i love it i think it's funny that i think it's funny that it's still expensive even though we

get to make it up well we want to make money off of this right isn't our goal to get the richest guys of all time right christopher i love that i'm a big fan here's here's what i would use it for i will buy a pair of pants and they fit like a glove and then i wash them one time and now they are a different pair of pants yeah what's up with that but then i wear them and by the end of the day they're normal again do you dry your pants yeah my mom said i should start air drying my pants i air dry anything that i like care about i air drop my pants when i when i was a kid i used to uh not want to wash my pants because they would get small again so it was like my mom would be like you need to put those in the hamper and i'd be like no i need to wear them tomorrow i want

them to fit right yeah yeah i've only i've washed these ones since i got them but some people don't wash their jeans i mean it depends what you're doing it like if i'm wearing them here for a day that that's not really gonna factor into like i did go out you got a ring on the side this yeah or this thing yeah that was there when i bought them yeah i bought oh you know what that probably it's probably the dip ring like tobacco yeah like my all my dad's jeans when we were kids had like a perfect circle that's worn in them that looks like a stain but like i mean it might be i bought him like i bought him like at a flea market and both sides of like a little stain right here oh that's so interesting yeah maybe he had maybe it was like his tin i know i tried to haggle with

the guy because of it and he's like no that's part of why they're 35 or something i've always wanted i always kind of want to like i like the ring on the thing so i want to rub like i've always contemplated getting like sandpaper and like rubbing over it but i think it's like fake what is this ring you're so like if you like have like a tin of dip or like you're like uh your breakers in your um thing it'll it'll like over time like like i keep my breakers in my back pocket and like after a day like my like ass has a ring on it let me see i just i was kidding i really just wanted to see your ass i'm joking should we pitch each other yeah i feel like i'm falling flat today no this has been like one of the greatest days of my life i'm actually having

a i know we've had a great day i feel like last sunday monday my head was in a really weird space that was i thought that was the worst episode of podcast we've ever released people will like it yeah i wasn't obsessed with it yeah i feel like i'm really excited about this week i think it's gonna be really fun nice i like your i have a softball game tonight i know you have to come oh i'll be there i'll be there i might come tonight i know yeah would you like we need it we need a body sure seriously do we not have enough people well rick can't come now so i'm captain and i'm just worried that it's gonna fall on me if we don't have enough people show up 7 15 kind of late let me think about it let me think about it all right i gotta do a head count after

this i'm taking this very seriously i want to step up in rick's absence um we need to win we need a dub we need to win we had a bad loss last week i had several errors you had several errors yeah i forgot i always forget that we haven't talked about these because they're right after we record so it feels like so long ago that it happened fielding is hard so that's the only thing it's straight i'd be fine batting i'm just worried that i would get out there and fuck actually their pitchers were pretty good i i struck out like isn't it slow pitch it is slow pitch but they were they were throwing a lot of strikes which is like a lot of times like if you just don't swing you're gonna get on base because it's really hard to throw a strike in slow pitch

because you have to land anyway last game joe p and matt didn't show up who are like two of the two guys who have like actually played baseball in high school i think wait teeper yeah i didn't even know they had baseball in canada uh they have one team and he was on it no i'm just kidding they have the blue jays oh yeah well i mean yeah anyway teeper and joe were like our only two like actual baseball players they couldn't come and so it was kind of like we didn't have our best guys my brother had played the first week too and he wasn't here so we're down to some some top end talent so i was like you know what are you one and one scott wasn't there either so we like four of our most like athletic dudes all weren't there uh so i was like all right i'm gonna play

shortstop because i thought i could hold it down i started off well i had a few nice plays and then i got the yips in like the fifth inning dude and i just had i had two errors one that could have turned a double play and we ended up giving up like 15 runs at any or something so it's like i should have just fucking where are you one and one yeah we're one on one i'm just bummed i was very disappointed in my eye it was a chance to step up and it's your fault that you lost no i mean i don't think anyone would think that it was just given that we didn't have our best players i felt like a need to step up yeah and i was also making mistakes so then it was just Everyone was kind of hapless.

It was just bad. I need to be better, and I will. Lauren had a play. I have a good feeling about tonight. Are there bad players on the team? Yeah. On our team? Yeah, who's bad on our team?

I'm not going to say names, but there's definitely people who haven't really played baseball before. Okay, that might go, then. What? Lauren, you bad? I think we're all good. i mean i'm i wouldn't say i'm like a good player i'm just saying there's people that have like like i've like played baseball growing up a little bit and like yeah but then there's people that are just like not that good at it you wear cleats no i should that was one of my everyone should be

wearing cleats because i fucking this is okay this was my biggest probably my dumbest mistake i made that game two of the fielding errors were like hard hit balls like whatever uh but i i had i was on first and it was a ground ball to short and so i'm running a second thinking it's gonna be a close double play so i'm like hustling i didn't want to like slide on the like i don't know what like fuck i don't know i guess i should have slid but i just tried to run really hard through the bag thinking that you know they wouldn't get me and then they throw it anyway i ran too hard trying to and they didn't even throw it to second they just threw it straight to first so then i just completely overran the base and then i was in like no man's land and tried to go to third

It was just a bad base running move. All right, elephant in the room. We've had the coolest shirts this pod that we've ever had. Agreed. You're still wearing yours today. It's been a day later, and I just couldn't get myself to wear anything else. I almost wore mine again as well. Guys, it's outerwear season.

All right, we've made that. We've turned that corner into fall. And Chubbies has certified winterproof jackets, vests, sweatshirts, quarter zips, full zips, flannels. Bingo. Bingo. And a freaking full body puffer jacket. All right, you heard that right. Are you spending the holidays with your new partner's family

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whatever it is you're doing this winter, do it with chubbies chubbies is also a fantastic gift for someone else if you're stumped on what to get them for a limited time chubbies is giving our listeners 20 off your order with exclusive code playdate at chubbies shorts.com i will say i got my hands on this flannel just over 24 hours ago and i have i've only taken it off to shower i watched some football in it yesterday uh i ate dinner in it nice i am not ashamed to admit that i may have fallen asleep in it it's it's very very comfortable it's stylish people are people are commenting on it what i like sometimes with a flannel for me i like the way it feels but i feel boxed in there's no stretch this has some give i'm

kind of more wearing it as an over shirt than anything maybe a coat and i wore it to get coffee people are staring at me they're going that guy looks good yeah i want to dress like that guy Get yourself a Chubbies flannel or puffer jacket, whatever you like. This is just the first thing I got my hands on. I'm hoping we're getting a new care package here soon. Guys, check out their website for the best deals of the year. For a limited time, our friends at Chubbies are giving our listeners 20% off with the promo code PLAYDATE at checkout at chubbiesshorts.com.

That's 20% off your order with the promo code PLAYDATE. Support our show and tell them that we sent you. This holiday season, gift yourself and your loved ones some chubbies. Let's get back into the episode. Wait, all right, wait, we're back. Lauren had a... Wait, one second, really. We're back.

Lauren had a small technical difficulty, but while she was away, Will found a great soundboard, and Will, play the Russian one for him. all right let's switch the seats for a second will pitch me all right here's what i'm thinking ready it's i think i texted you about this the other day so don't let it ruin it but commercials for hanging out think about it it's a way for you if you're having people over and you want to make some extra money it's a service you can sign up for where an ad plays every you know 30 minutes or something and you can get hundreds of dollars right and it helps offset the cost like you're like hey i'll host the pregame i'll buy all the alcohol take care of everything we've had but

there are going to be ads and people just go in knowing that and it's like every 30 minutes you just stand and you watch it i don't ever have to watch it on the tv or maybe maybe they send a guy out and he kind of like gives you a quick pitch every 30 and uh i think what could be great about that is sometimes you're stuck in a brutal conversation with someone. And if there's a commercial break Me every Monday. You can just be like,

alright, I'll see you after the commercial break and you can go get snacks or something. 100%. You switch back. Everyone switch back now. What? You don't like sitting next to me? I do. It's throwing me off though. Alright, should we do Teach Me Something or This Guy Rocks? Wait, you want me to sit over there now? Sure, sit over there.

Should we do, do you guys want to do Teach Me Something or This Guy Rocks? um what do you guys want to do that's my lauren impression yay all right let's do this guy rocks yeah yay i forgot to book am i rubbing into podcast yeah podcast i'm i i don't really remember what this is i put it in like a week ago i know i'm trying to about a week ago a week ago fuck with us and then we tweak it oh tweak it oh let's take a gander at this here will pause it pause it pause it pause it are you guys familiar with like the

British horse races no that is insane that that is what your sky rocks is because that is what my teach me something is about actually British horse races not even kidding okay but yes so these like very

posh British school boys and girls go to the races like every weekend and it seems to be like a great time hang yeah great hang they are some of the most absurd characters okay i've ever seen they're all they all seem to be unbelievably affluent and they have very very like posh voices and they're all getting fucked up and they're all like it all this might not be a great example of it but i've

seen different videos in the past they all seem to be ready to jump each other's bones at the drop of that hit me let's see this one green flag at the races ginger girls in tweed with nice green eyes is there anyone here that you spotted that gives you that vibe who do you need you from exeter and what year are you in exeter i'm first year and so what halls are you in i'm in durian and how'd you find out it's not a bit far it's quite far away yeah excuse me sorry we've been looking actually for someone with your hair and your eyes you're a gorgeous girl how do you feel about this man here stunning stunning oh stunning which year you are at the top which year are you in second so how do you not like her accent you get you kind of get the gist yeah yeah this is a

but it just it sounds like a we should go to that i know like kings of the castle it sounds it it looks like so much fun and i want to go check it out and i just love they all seem to be ready to jump each other ready to jump each other's bones at any moment jump each other's bones what does that mean like attack like have like have like crazy monkey sack oh crazy monkey sacks yeah yeah but like their voices are funny they're all dressed to the nines yep i agree daddy's cards in the purse 100 we're ready to lose some money on some horses we're ready to probably do some drugs yeah i i don't so what's the take on the which guy rocks in this scenario so i actually hadn't watched this one yet i kind of panicked and i changed mine last moment but i

just love all these people i know i do find this a fascinating environment yes maybe wait skip just let's see see hear more from this girl actually single should we find you someone what would your green flag be in the races for boy what's my green flag i don't know man look you're great so tell grunette man let's find them we'll find him what kind of outfit would you want them in they look the same today don't they no you're not wrong it's a bit fun shut me what's your like just like every person they cut you can pause it here every person they cut to has more layers and more tweed and more barber jackets on than the previous guy you know what i watch i watch uh is like you know there's like i've been watching peaky and they have these like

really nice fits and then they have like a little metal thing that kind of just well you know what that is no they're they're they're they're pocket watches on the end of that chain beautiful so they pull it out and they have the time on it love and then they pop it right back in need to bring that back isn't that awesome love that every part of it um i just love these kits they all have mullets i do like they're all so fucking british yeah every school every school they go to sounds like it's out of harry potter yeah are they college students that first year i mean like freshman in college i don't think it's even the same i think it would be like comparing apples and oranges like i think there's a third well there's saying that doesn't exist that exists comparing

apples and oranges yeah very very popular saying not a saying apples to oranges yes what are you talking about those are completely different things but like from what i've gathered i think they're in like a third type of school like in between what we would consider okay prep school or high school and call a third more sinister level of schooling where i think they go from ages 18 to 45 it seems interesting and then they go to college or uni as they call it well that's what in spain it was like yeah after sophomore year you then will go to a new thing so i think they're at college yeah and then they go to uni after no they're talking about university okay well then they were in college before that are you sure i believe so i thought college is just

like a subset of a university that's where that's where these people were saying they're at university of exeter but i think before that they're at college interesting or primary school or something primary school is like okay then they're they're at secondary school that's like high school secondary school okay then they're yeah i don't know they're somewhere they're fucking somewhere and they're all doing drugs podcast simac yeah i wish i was british or I love you, British. I might, though, in a little bit. So this is a friend of mine from college.

Well done, Willie. Can you describe for our audio this time? It's a massive cow playing the guitar. All right, ready? Yep. He is really good. Lauren liked a comment. That was a good comment.

Yeah? All right. That's pretty cool, right? I love it. I love it. Can I teach you something? Teach me something. We need a sponsor for Teach Me Something.

Yeah, this is brought to you by some sort of textbook company. No, it's brought to you by Webster. Daniel? What's the textbook company called? Harris Phillips? No. No, I think that's President. All right.

Oh, I never got to do my pitch. I thought you didn't have one today. No, I do. wait i wrote one down in between why don't you do it why don't you do it at the end for a secret no do it now closer this is the argument builder i feel like sometimes i wait you did pitch this i already pitched this no we didn't yeah you did oh the argument builder oh yeah you did literally like right before right before we were having there's a point you're trying to make and then it it finds historical evidence to back up your argument and then like shows you a list

of people that agree with you in your life you do this today yeah that's crazy okay all right yeah teach me something you didn't do it you didn't do it we gaslight you oh i'm sorry i'm sorry i winked at this is the argument builder you would plug in the argument you're trying to make i feel like oftentimes i am pretty convinced i'm right but like i just am not smart enough to tell you why i'm right you know what i mean agreed yeah so this would give me like historical evidence that backs up what i'm saying it would also give me like a list of people that i could call on to be like be like fucking lauren agrees with me yep and then she would be in on it there's nothing worse than being an argument and being like you know you read it somewhere but then you can't find

it agreed yeah agreed yeah uh all right you guys want to know my teach me something teach me something chariots like old roman chariots uh influenced the size and shape of the first space shuttle isn't that really i'll tell you why i can't remember who wrote this on reddit but thank you for this the romans built roads like all over europe right and the roads were built for chariots so they would make these like tracks that the chariots like could be pulled in whatever yeah uh they were pulled by two horses side by side european carriages were built uh the same width to take advantage of like the pre-existing ruts that were made for chariots, right?

When trains were invented, the tracks were of similar width to take advantage of the existing cart pad, cart, or sorry, carriage parts. Train tracks in America were made the same. When cars were invented, the width was similar to take advantage of road slash railroad parts.

And then tunnels were dug in mountains to accommodate existing cars and trains. right the space shuttle needed to move through an existing tunnel to get to the launch pad so it had to be redesigned to fit thus the space shuttle was influenced by the design of roman chariots that's pretty fun isn't that interesting like butterfly effect kind of thing a little bit awesome wow i love that i also saw when this one was way lengthier but apparently um apparently world like like franz fernand getting shot in the head can be directly traced to the creation of hentai interesting isn't that interesting well it was i think the short the

short explanation for it there was like a much lengthier yeah cause and effect but the short explanation was like if he didn't get shot world one wouldn't have happened uh which means world war ii wouldn't have happened and then japanese people wouldn't have like been americanized by like being brought here and then somehow somewhere in there hentai came up interesting yeah i was seeing um a funny it was like a shane gillis pod clip and they were just saying they were just like laughing about the like tony hinchcliffe thing yeah and how like imagine if like that ends up affecting the outcome of election the election and then some like commonly getting elected actually does cause world war three yep and then it's all because he made franz

ferdinand is traced back to like yeah comedian tony hinchcliffe uh did you think that joke was funny i'm not really in that environment at least i don't know agreed apparently joe rogan said that every time he tells that joke on stage joe rogan tells him like that's the joke that's gonna get you stabbed and then and then it ended up being like the most trouble he's gotten in was that yeah i can't honestly like i just never i've never loved that guy it's very like shock comedy he i just i just i'm just scared of him like i i have nothing i think he's funny i have nothing against him at all i wouldn't want to be in front of him because i feel like he would bully me agreed yeah he come yeah i mean he had some funny ones at the tom brady one but agreed there's

a little fly that show also scares me or not scares me that show also makes me like uneasy because uh i think anytime people are getting like putting themselves out there and then in front of guys who are who their job is to like take you down when you're doing bad like that makes me sad i know i agree yeah yeah uh okay what were we talking about teach me something yes all right so this is a somehow also about uh british horse racing okay so i was watching an episode of peaky blinders and they like referenced uh tommy shelby referenced some like suffragette or something and i like googled her anyway so there was this lady suffragette uh like someone who fights for women's voting like in the early 1900s why'd they name it women's

suffrage suffrage is the right to vote no i know but i'm saying like what a horrible word for that yeah it just sounds like suffering yeah like i'm for women's suffrage yeah yeah agreed suffrage is a really weird word yeah i wonder what the like roots i would love to talk to like a linguist about that my buddy griffin is the linguist maybe we should ask him our buddy griffin my buddy griffin i'm gonna call griffin what's up man griff what's going on dude i'm nothing much i'm in chicago what's up with your bed so hell yeah well hey i had a question for you not to put you on the spot here but i'm on the podcast right now and we're talking about a word and i was like i feel like i know i want to phone a friend here because i feel like i know someone

who might know might be able to help all right here's a question suffrage is a really weird word for what it means no like is there some root of suffrage that's tied to like suffering or is that completely independent yeah no that's a great question so i can um just for what it's worth i don't i don't just know it off the top of my head but my go-to is wiktionary so i'm going to dive into that for you right now i have i feel like i'm like uh one of those action movies right now absolutely yeah yeah like in the criminal minds like exactly yeah it's exactly criminal minds so interestingly enough so it's not necessarily related um to the word suffrage but it's actually so it comes it's a it's a latin it's a word of latin origin comes from the latin

word um which is to literally to vote for or to support so that makes sense right okay it's like it's always meant voting but why does it look like suffrage um people don't really know where the latin word sufrago comes from like that's the last one we know there's a theory that actually comes from the like a proto-indo-european so that's like as far back as we could possibly go there's an idea i'm not going to say this is a fact but it's a very interesting idea that it comes from the root word for to break um so that would give us a frango in latin and the reason that would be so it'd be like to cause an uproar to crash to break shatter crashed like like like in a protest or to make your voice heard okay um so that that's about as specific

as it can get but i like that theory a lot because it'd be kind of interesting if suffrage literally comes from like like just kind of tearing shit up you know we were kind of saying like yeah like woman's suffrage is a good thing but it sounds like to the untrained mind kind of not great it does not maybe not the best word choice honestly i wonder if we'll maybe phase that out but uh yeah it's a it's a strange one for sure that's awesome well thank you for the help here this has been very helpful i'll uh i'll have to give you another uh call again soon and chat more but and i'll i'll uh yeah hopefully see you soon absolutely no i'll catch you on the flip side thanks for calling yeah take care but that sounds awesome yeah they're the best awesome all

right all right back into the episode right should we do wait what was your teach me something oh yeah it was about the 1970 1913 derby which was the epsom derby is like the biggest horse race in uh in england they do it every year they've been doing it like fucking forever and 1913 okay so this lady her name is emily davison who is a suffragette so she was big advocate for women's voting rights it's crazy how quickly we got off topic just based off that word i know that was the word that sent us into put us into a tail sent us into orbit yeah uh during the 1913 derby emily davison as a large-scale act of protest runs onto the race course and like runs straight in front of king george's horse and gets trampled to death in the middle of the derby

did was hurt did she was that the goal or do you think it was like to just get smoked uh i don't know what the goal there's been speculation that maybe she was trying to like pin a like woman's suffrage like pin on him or something or maybe she just wanted to get her shit rocked i don't know if she knew she was gonna die but you had to she had to assume there was some possible risk but yeah anyway how long after that did they get the right to vote that's a good question um lauren what was i was it was rented in think about lipstick yeah 1918 different in 1928 i don't know how that okay yeah yeah there we go oh at first they only let women over 30 in 1918 good good and then they made it on par with men in 28 good so not too much after anyway

i just thought there was a that's like i always think that these like extreme forms of protests are very fascinating these people who like light themselves on fire and shit there's nothing i care about enough to to even to even raise a finger but i think in this context too though like it is interesting like now with like the internet it's like very much it can be easier to like get your eyes in front of that many people but like like if you want to make a statement to the king back then you had you had to do it at a setting that the king was like at or directly involved yeah and so there were 500 000 people there including the king and queen i don't understand i don't understand the monarchy i don't understand why anyone there thinks it's a good thing it

doesn't make any i understand it's like the whole the whole thought was like we're we're like a model for people to like look at as like the perfect family yeah doesn't feel like it should still be around they're also like like i don't i can't speak on the on the ones that are still alive i feel like as families go one of the worst families the british one at least one of the worst yeah ever existed and people are like a lot of like uh uh englishmen what are they called englishman britain's britain's but brits include like scottish people and i feel like they hate them as well a lot of brits like love them yeah i don't really get it even like my mom like loved like diana and stuff which i guess like she was cool she was but i don't get it she also as an

op as a whole she also stole the the uh he was dating her sister before her whomst charles dating her sister and she was like 12 and she met him when he was like 18 i think i did know that was obsessed with him and like made it her mission at like 12 to marry him pulled it off but like it doesn't when when they're like they're like save the like god saved the queen i would be like why do we have a queen yeah well he didn't do his job last year god did not save the queen she died the queen died yes this is how rusty finds out the queen died what i always just thought that was bizarre i agree i think the whole thing is very strange i mean i get like the old i guess in like the olden times though there wasn't as much like group consensus like the

ability to like communicate so widely with other people so it's just like kind of the way that it was and you didn't have enough power to mobilize enough support to change wouldn't you even like to yourself be like fuck those guys yeah i think maybe we might be biased but i think i mean there's a reason i'm american i chose to live here because we're a free country oh i more meant i meant i remember meant like irish heritage oh yeah like yeah they starved my people so yeah our people they starved our people you know about that learn they starved our fucking people that insane yeah is that crazy that they starved our people no i meant like how it happened like it was so prevent it wasn't like it wasn't like something bad i feel like yeah they they they

had the ability to stop stealing the irish food and they only left us potatoes and then when the potato famine hit like what like two-thirds of people in ireland died yeah insanity insanity sorry that got kind of dark are you sorry lauren your people did that to us i got it are you british no i got i'm irish oh what the hell they starved your people too i got a i got banned from our i think i've told the story a million times but i got banned because i was not educated on the on the potato famine yeah talking to an old man at fiddler's green which was our local irish pub did not know he owned the bar he was very very irish and i made a comment kind of jokingly about the potato from i also didn't know i didn't know how bad it was i thought like they just had

a bad year and people were pissed i didn't realize like you know millions of people died i thought it was just like a funny i don't know i just knew the potato famine made a joke about the potato famine did not land he said he can't come back for 30 days did you honor it yeah respect what was funny is he was never there yeah and he didn't tell any of the bouncers you come back on the 29th day nice fucking try another 30 all right guys let me introduce you to something that's going to change the way you think about wallets meet extra they're cool they're sleek they're trackable this is my favorite feature will ask me to pay for something real quick pay for something real quick oh yeah one second let me just pull my cards out bink oh it's like a superhero like

shooting a web with my old wallet the problem was like if my card was behind my other card i would panic and i wouldn't be able to get it out in time and i look like a doofus we had our company credit card on friday with us yep monday he's like hey uh can i get the card back and i'm like fumbling through i'm like like if i'd lost my card i think i would be fired you can see every single card you have stack they stack so you know which ones it's got a little cash holder right here they're trackable so you can never lose it will lose his wallet all the time not anymore nope extra has completely resolved that issue in my life right now you can get up to 25 off on extra's website and if you use our special code playdate you'll snag an additional five percent

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website with any purchase and if you use our special code playdate you're gonna snag an additional five percent off that's code playdate at checkout to get up to 30 off your next extra wallet let's get back into the episode can i show you one more thing for this guy rocks yeah lauren i'm texting it to you this is a band called riffwood okay and they're like high school kids oh i saw this so these kids are fantastic unreal this song i hope they're releasing it soon but this song is one of it actually like maybe i'm just caught up because it's it's like recency bias yeah one of the best snippets of a song i've ever heard mine i agree i thought this was fantastic it's like totally my type of music yeah give this a listen okay when i sell my business

i want the best tax and investment advice i want to help my kids and i want to give back to the community. Ooh, then it's the vacation of a lifetime. I wonder if my head of office has a forever setting. An IG Private Wealth Advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonize your business, your family, and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you at the center. Find your advisor at IGPrivateWealth.com. The comments are saying it's like Green Day meets The Beatles, which I think is perfect. The little kid in the back makes me so happy. Or they both do, but that kid's facial expression.

What a fantastic, like, those kids are surely going to be like stars, right? Yeah, that's unbelievable. That's fantastic. I hope they release an acoustic version, because they released it with electric guitar, and it was still fantastic, but I liked this harmony. Yeah, it was a lot better. Beautiful there.

Sometimes I've noticed this with, you remember like kodak released like zz like this like no sometimes when a snippet goes viral it almost fucks you yeah because then it because it doesn't pointed by the rest it's not gonna sound or it's like it just doesn't sound the same as it did that one day 100 so i hope i hope these boys don't fall victim to that but riff would love you should we do uh taxes that don't exist things white people like to say or sayings that do exist which is probably the dumbest idea we've ever had uh no this is not this is the best idea we've ever had let's start with you want to do sayings that do exist sure all right these are sayings that do exist the early bird catches the

worm don't put all your eggs in one basket the grass is always greener on the other side don't cry over spilled milk don't count your chickens before they hatch don't judge a book by its cover better late than never a picture is worth a thousand words what goes around comes around you're barking up the wrong tree when life gives you lemons make lemonade cut me some slack I don't get it

these are sayings that do exist I know I think those are all mine yeah that's all mine too those are sayings that do exist and now this is one we're also going to do these are bird noises that don't exist

all right those were bird noises that don't exist That might be my favorite segment yet. Thank you. Will, we're both white. Yeah, I am. Recently. What are some things that white people like to say? Well, would you look at that?

After a line accumulates, white people like to say, looks like we got here at the right time. That's good. Hey, if you can't beat them, join them. Here comes trouble. Color me impressed. Ayo! Grow up and move out of the house.

Any fun weekend plans? Get a fucking job and stop living in your parents' house. After a big rain, white people like to say, the plants needed this. Seriously, grow up. This is embarrassing. You got to move out of the house, man. You can't just live with your parents at 25.

After handing, like, when you're handing an empty plate back to the waitress saying, I did not like that at all. who's a member of the clean plate club um there he is get a load of this guy uh calling their college their alma mater love that what does that mean it's latin it's latin i don't remember though okay it's like i think it's like i went here uh oh no no actually i know the serious answer mater is mother and it's like like you would call your it's something to with mother like you're calling your college your mother let's look it up alma means spirit

yeah fostering mother i learned that in latin um you win some you lose some looks like he barked up the wrong tree oh if i got fries for the table would you guys have some that's a really good one oh uh what's up beast uh what's up yeah we didn't even talk about my big beef what is it with jt oh yeah lauren do you know about this it's pretty tell people about it i think you should answer the call i basically i had jt parr who's a really funny comedian and a friend of and a friend that i've i've yeah i mean i've i've gotten to know him recently but someone i've been watching stuff up for a long time so very cool that we got to like go on their pod and stuff and uh then he came on my show which is also very cool and he's actually he's running

very cool is my show oh yeah he's running for burbank city council and we were trying to come up with like a way to like prank game we thought like you know we do like pranks on my show we thought kind of something around his city council race evidently we took it too far i i really honestly didn't think it was uh in bad taste until i saw how he reacted and i felt very bad about it but basically yeah yeah we had his actual one of his actual opponents for the city council race we emailed and they she was like yeah i'll come and debate and so we in the middle of this interview that he didn't without him knowing that it was going to happen we brought out his opponent and staged like a debate right on the show which for the record i thought it was going to be like silly

questions you just asked you asked a legit question 100 they were all serious questions yeah what was the thought process the thought process was like that i think that's what might have set him off no he was pissed before he even heard any of the questions oh interesting it was uh and she didn't know she wasn't prepped on the question that's i think he thought that no we had an upper hand too interesting he just but no the idea was like the funniest possible thing to do would be to not make it a joke at all also we didn't that that's kind of it's a funny thing because ironically this is kind of what has gotten us in hot water but we didn't want to make fun of like he's actually running for office and takes it very seriously and is very well spoken on the

issues so i i kind of wanted to highlight that i thought but he was not very he did not receive that the setup as he called it very well uh was you know pretty upset it was pretty awkward honestly it was i've never experienced anything like that in my life because it's like well we just had to go through with the rest of the episode how early into the episode was it it was like one of the first things uh i mean he he crushed it too like i didn't think and and immediately after too i was like dude we don't have to air any of that like did not realize it was gonna be taken that way i felt very bad i texted him after apologized but then he i texted him to apologize and he was like i didn't appreciate it i'm gonna get you back or something

i was like i was like okay like what do you think he's gonna do so he then he puts out a pod clip and he like calls me out and he challenges me to a debate and is basically like i think you should take but he's like come down because i don't want to like i don't want any i like feel really bad about what happened i don't want to like perpetuate any but i think this maybe would set it even because but i don't know why we're debating we agree on a lot of issues i think just well i think he i listen to his podcast he said he'd do any side yeah so i don't care i like i don't see how who wants that or who that helps or why that would be like a good i would watch it privately that's what i'm saying like the people who want to see it are just people who know both of us like i don't

think there's like a wider audience for that and i really don't want to like perpetuate any like i feel bad about the whole thing and really just want to kind of move on and uh anyway i don't know he challenged me to debate very publicly but like also in the clip he's like kind of trashing me for like saying like i don't know the issues and like but in all of his like points he's referencing are like a three minute conversation we had privately in a car ride once i thought i was like not really like i was just well he said will he asked you like what you feel strongly about and you said i said health care health care and then he said to you why and you said that you had a teacher that said it was important which is not true like that's something he just

that was like two things in our conversation that he like put together he was because he asked the issue that i care about i said health care and then he said who do you read on the on health care i guess i don't really have like an answer to like what specific person i read on health care but i don't think that's a prerequisite for having an opinion on health care and then i just said one of the most influential people in my life has been this professor i had in college who's a super famous political scientist and historian that has the most subscribed newsletter in the u.s like it isn't just like a random person heather cox richardson look her up like she's very doesn't matter point being i felt like it was a little unfair to like put me on blast and like

accuse me of things based on like a two-minute conversation we had right so i was like kind of rubbed the wrong way but i guess i deserved it i mean he was trying to rattle you and i feel like it worked yeah i guess yeah i mean i guess yeah yeah he got i think i have a solution yeah i think i have a solution me and chad debate well i'm him chad and strider like his two compadres yeah are coming here for a shoot tomorrow so i am also back in my mind like are they going to try to pull some shit that would be a skylar move too tomorrow yeah skylar's been trying to stir the yeah which is really annoying that shit drives me crazy i don't know the whole thing is very strange i do not want to have beef with anyone and i respect him very much as a comedian i feel

very bad that it happened so i hope we can move on genuinely be worried about your relationship like i i think it's all i think he was genuinely very upset but there's no way he's holding that against you still now i don't know i think he is that's what i worry about interesting i don't know i didn't realize it was that serious it was very very like i don't think anyone unless you were in the room when it happened like it's kind of hard to understand it was a seismic energy shift that was very uncomfortable for everyone involved and uh yeah i mean also like the episode is not even coming out before the election so it's not like it's going to have any effect on the outcome of his city council election i don't know all right should we do taxes that don't exist

yeah let's do it okay these are taxes that don't exist okay uh the flush tax rewards peeing and pooping at the same time gotta chip in a little for every flush right uh i think you should get a tax break per time you text your mom okay so it incentivizes keeping her in the loop and being like a good son here's i got the i think there should be a text on texting i think there should be a tax on texting because you remember like the old days where it was like you only had like x amount of texts or something minutes i feel like that was such a good like plausible like if some you didn't hear back from someone you just be like he's out of minutes he's out of texts or minutes or whatever and like i kind of want like a i feel like i'm bad at responding to text so i

would like to be like sorry dude i was trying to save a dollar it also makes people put it in one paragraph instead of i don't like when people go oh that's kind of my thing i do that too but i don't want to be that guy we can tighten things up agreed uh the pant the pants cuff tax you get taxed per time you cuff your pants so it incentivizes people to wear their pants like adults agreed and i'm for the record i am a person that cuffs my pants and i'm trying to be better about that yep uh hanging out tax uh i think that there should be a tax on hanging out which makes you a little bit more deliberate and thoughtful about the social situations you put yourself in right it's not a big tax just something to make you be a little bit more mindful because sometimes

you're hanging out people are like what am i hanging out with these people uh the hot boyfriend tax we tax girls who have hot boyfriends incentivize already you're getting taxed incentivizes people to give normal guys a chance love that love that also also gets back at people that rejected you bug tax it's attacked by bugs taxed by bugs for bugs and it keeps ants out of your house okay i like it uh being part of a run club tax yep i'm tired of sick of fucking hearing about it too many people in these run clubs you're taking up the whole road like that if you're in a run club you get taxed five hundred thousand dollars french tax i don't like french words like hors d'oeuvres and je ne sais quoi and shit like that hundred dollars every time you say one

straight to the federal government and they're going to misuse it and send most of it to the military good good well it also it also uh makes restaurants who put them on the menu have to put it in english so i don't have to point at the menu and say i want this instead of saying i want don't fogwa get me started on fogwa uh fogwa from shrek i don't even know what it is oh uh the snap score text too many adults too many adults texting it oh too many too many the snap score tax yep i like this too many adults still snapchatting including myself i think we need to put it down we need to go back to texting or calling or something you get taxed Per 1,000 points, your snap score goes up.

Big fan of this one. Thank you. Is that it? Yeah, that's all I got. All right, these are sayings that kind of exist. No, I'm just joking. An early bird gets the bird. I think that's it.

Okay, whose personality are you guys stealing? I'm going to Austin, Texas. Nice. Yeehaw. So I'm going to steal Matthew McConaughey's. Nice. Nice shot. lauren oh well then i gotta thank you go oh i know i know i'm going to our friend caitlyn's

birthday party this weekend and she's having a little like early 2000s party oh so our our friend caitlyn yeah oh our our invitation must have gotten lost in the mail maybe i guess maybe Because we just dress like babies? Wait, you're going to have to dress like a baby, too. You're our age. No, I'm actually dressing as... Or because of Poplison in a diaper. I'm dressing...

Whoa! I'm dressing up as Karen from Mean Girls. Because it's like an early 2000s. Wait. Oh, nice. Caitlyn's having... Caitlyn's having a party. Caitlyn's...

She said all of our friends are invited and we're... Caitlyn's having a birthday party. And it's the same Caitlyn that we are friends with. Mm-hmm. Interesting. Okay. um pretend i didn't say any of that okay my answer my answer and then we're done is oh i'm just i'm gonna go any guy from seattle i'm trying to wear more layers and more flannel love that

all right we love you guys uh oh episode 63 is no say 62 62 we never did a thing 62 um george clooney oh 63 all right we're ready for next week closing up all right show me chris pronger come on who's number or Dan who's number 62 yeah oh he's

number 44 you always put H Brandon Montour there we go the Kraken alright didn't even come close

to spelling have a great rest of your week guys look what I look taking Dan's word for it alright have a great rest of your week guys

and a great weekend we will see you on Wednesday and we love you peace bye bye this family is on the brink of civil war mob land the hit original series is now streaming on paramount plus we are the harrigans don't know the net and google us from the underworld of guy ritchie do you want to step up the ladder i want karma dead starring tom hardy

pierce brosnan and helen mirren do i have to do everything myself You want more? I'll give you more!