Will & Rusty's Playdate - we worked with convicts for 24 hours w/ Brett Dodenhoff | Ep. 251

Episode Date: October 7, 2026

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Playdate episode 251. We got our buddy Brett here. Can I say something? Yeah. Orange, you glad Brett's here. You got a tag. You got a tag. I didn't actually even notice the shirt was orange because of the tag.

The tag, yeah. The tag was that distracting. Is it hunting or jail? Is it for hunting or jail? Hunting convicts. Like, remember when those guys in Louisiana got out? Oh. This is what they wore to go hunt them.

If you're hunting and they escaped. So it kind of looks like they go, oh, that's one of us. And by the time they realize it's too late. It's like perfect for hunting convict. It's really good hunting convict. It's actually the company that makes these. Right. Was like going to go broke until that thing happened.

That happened. Oh, perfect. And they made like a million dollars. They're kind of, they're kind of slew. They need another prison break. Yes. It's not. It's happening less than less than.

This has not been good. Yeah. Now when if you try to escape a prison, the most of them just have like a dart that shoots you, right? They got the auto darts. Wait, what? Yeah. You've got an automated, like, to like knock you out? Yeah. You haven't seen this? No. In the fencing of like, yeah, auto darts.

There's literally, there's no world. It's auto darts. Uh, in like Cabela's, there's like, you're going to buy a gun. They're like, what are you hunting, goose, deer, convict? What are we talking to? This is good for a convict and if it's a city situation. This one's, this one's more of a buckshot for a buckshot. So, you know, country, desert desert now you want to kill him humanely I would go with this one I mean this one's just gonna stun him it'll stun this one honestly this one's just gonna it pulls up and he's like he's stunned he's done he's done you just have to

show it to him you got that gun is insane you got about five seconds for him to go all right this episode is brought to you by bear bells rusty show me your bear bells uh we got Brett Brett your last name's Dodenhoff It is. Wow, this is fun to find out. Yeah, yeah. I've never known. This is news to me.

I heard you talking yesterday, what happened with your, because your haircut looks phenomenal, but I heard that something went wrong. It does look phenomenal. Did you get a haircut because you were coming on the pot? Because of the pod exclusively, yeah, for this moment. This is supposed to be my big day. I was getting my, I've gone to this guy for years, okay? I only get two haircuts a year. Sam.

And so I've only got this guy like three times in my life. He's my goat. God. Going to him for like a year and a half. I've been going to this guy for years. I've seen him twice. I go in and I go, I had a lot of hair about there. Right.

And I said just a little like clean it up a little bit. Right. Showed him a photo. Photo was of that. Of you or another guy? Of me. I used to do that. I used to show George Clooney.

Swear to God. Back when I had shorter. Give me a long hair. Oh, oh. I would show that. Give me the long Clooney. I didn't understand that. You've been trying to get the Clooney for years and he just.

He sucks. You're like, dude, you're leaving like eight inches. What the hell's going on? I guess Clooney in the 90s had a little shaggier, but this is still... All right, so he's cut my hair. Mid-cut gets a call. He goes, I got to take this. Starts talking, divorce lawyer. Divorce lawyer, 20-minute custody talk. 20-minute custody.

Did he still have like the shears in his hand? He still had, yeah, and he's kind of a razor guy. To be clear, divorce lawyer or divorced lawyer? That's a good point. I feel like most divorce lawyers probably practiced what they preach. He's on trial for murder, but his lawyer's heart's not in. Oh, yeah, no, nothing with that. He's never been married.

No, he's, comes back and that's the energy I got is, you know, his focus was elsewhere. His focus was on his kids. Yeah, yeah. So, what a loser. Right. Do you believe it? Yeah. You hear him behind you with their, so he didn't.

No, fuck. Did he want the kids or was one of those were first? He was going to stop trying to give them to me. Reverse custody battle. Reverse custody. Yeah, they were really trying to pawn them off. She is an amazing mother. Do you think that how often do you think it happens where neither parent wants them?

And they're like, they're both trying to lose. I don't know, but it sounds hilarious. What a great judge. Both of them sabotaging it, like smoking crack at his desk. She's fully naked. Trying to get arrested. One of their lawyers is a dog. It probably happens more than we...

It's probably actually really sad. It probably happens. It's not as funny as we're making it out to me. It's not quite a sad. Probably not dog lawyer now that I'm thinking about it. With a dog lawyer. I actually think that happened to Andrew. Didn't that? Wasn't that what I'm with your parents?

Neither than wanted me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they didn't do... It was one of those situations where... They just didn't want them. They just didn't want them. They just didn't want them. They sat me down and they were like...

They stayed together. They were like, we just want you to know, like, It is your fault. You're the first kid who it is their fault. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, you ruined us, and we want to move on. I get a question for you, Brett. No.

Sure. No, next. Go to your second one. I can already tell I'm not going to like this one. I already hate it. What was the first time you saw boobs? Boobes? Hit me.

Do you know the story? Do you know the story? No. You are going to fucking eat this up. Oh, my God. Hit me. First time I saw boobs. It's,

I was freshman in high school. Nice. And I had five friends and we were... Total or there? I had five friends total. There there was no one. It was just me. Five friends, we met two freshmen in college to women.

So we had five and they were like four years older than us. You met them where? We were at like the beach kind of. It was like, but night at night. It was a night beach. It was a night beach. It was a night beach Never seen booze

It was night beach My story kind of goes like everyone else's night beach You know, it's a classic The huge You were like 15 I probably young, yeah I was like 14 And they were like 19 So

This also is like when did I get like statutory It's kind of the same story Actually statutory flash And we were like We all went back and were hanging at my house and then I was like, look, there's two, there's two of you, there's five of us. It would be cool if you guys got topless for the group. I was, and they were like, that's insane. There's no way we're doing that. It would be so awkward. And I'm like, cool, no worries.

Is it weird because there's five of us? You just brought it up. Yeah, brought it up. It was you specifically. Yeah. And I go, I go, I understand. They're like, that would just be very awkward. And I go, I understand. What if we all lined up outside the room. And then we take turns one by one coming and just look at you guys. You ran an ocular boob train on them? Yes. Oh, God.

So we all just one by one walked in, looked at their boobs and then walked out. You were running a small, a small operation peep show. Yeah, it was. It was an amateur peep show. It was, yeah. Were they just standing there? Yeah, they were just kind of standing there. Were they doing anything sexy?

No, no. There was no, there was no, there was no. I think I made a joke. I think one of our friends looked at the moment. And they were like, well, now this is weird. He was like overcombe with it. Did you just come? Did you just come?

Is that it? You totally just handless. You just, you Bluetooth came? You just hand. Do you handless come? Oh my God. Where are they, uh, were they attractive ladies? or? I think they were, look,

it was the first time I saw movies. I, you know. You weren't, like, it was, they could have not had a face and you wouldn't have noticed. I could not believe it was happening. Yeah. There are a few things, like 14 to 16, there are a few things where you're in your head, you're going, I cannot believe. I cannot believe they're letting me do this. No.

And there was so much wiser than us. They're, they're in college. That is insane. I don't understand their side. I would love to hear their side. I would as well. Like, why would I know you were freshman in high school. That's what I'm wondering. I'm wondering if we told them that we were, like, older.

Businessmen. I also like that. Because you probably were like, because you're like a hairy guy. You were probably already like developed. No, it's developed like that. Yeah. No. I feel like like he's hairy and he developed early.

So I think there's a correlation. I think so. I also. You're like, Oh, like. Got it. Got it. He hit puberty like way younger.

Yeah. I did. Yeah. I was pretty. I was pretty hairy. Were you like a seven, six. seventh grader? I think like seventh grader. I got armpit hair. When I saw it coming in, I'm bald. I cried. Oh really? I was stoked. I was too young. Oh, you, I was like, I'm

no longer a boy. You're playing with, you're playing with Tonka trucks. Literally, I was like, you like, I saw it. I was like, no, no, no, no to this cat. I have to start smoking now. Yeah. Fuck. Oh, no. Do you took them back to your house? Yeah. Were your parents like, Who are these co-ed? We had like a garage and there was like a kind of a den type thing kind of makeshift. Yeah. One of those. All right.

So you ladies just go in the den, make yourself comfortable. We'll be outside. I like that like they were like, no, we're not doing that. And you were like, oh, because it's a numbers thing. There's five bucks into a year. I was like, of course. And somehow you were right. Yeah.

And they were like, all right, yeah. Checks out. Then it's two v1. They're fine. Did they like comp? Did you pitch it and then they like went conference with each other. I think there was a little bit of like, they were like, well, it's good, we're going to go mull it over. Which is why I think we probably told them our real age, because I think they're

like, I think they realize how important this was to you. Yeah. And it was a selfless act. Yeah. And it wasn't even sexual, really. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it was for that one guy. At that point, it was more ceremonial. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a birthing ceremony. Yeah. Come back out that door. Yeah. You went in a boy. Did you bow? Yeah. That's it. How long were. you looking at them? I think I tried to make just a general conversation, you know? What are you getting up to later?

I think I was like, I'm not going to play this. It would be weird if you just, yeah. I think I only saw them peripherally. I think we, we were like, we'll come in for like 60 seconds each. The whole encounter, five minutes. Wow. Do you think they, clinical? Do you think they sit there?

Because there's a chance they're like married with kids now, right? Yeah. Do you think they sit there? They're all 36. Oh. That's crazy to think about. Do you think they sit there and think like, what the hell happened about us? I bet they'd never have talked about it.

The next day they're, like, I bet they're not friends anymore. There are some things that happen with like one buddy where you're like, you didn't do anything wrong. We just, we can't see. That's kind of yet for them, I think. Yeah. Oh, man. Are you still buddies with the other four guys? We're unbelievably tight.

It's soul bonded. Yeah. You're in an opposite effect. Yeah, we broke the herb of them apart and for us, we're like, bonded you together. Did they like, what, where was this? Was this like a, like, just like the actual room? Was this in your hometown? Home town, yeah, yeah.

Did you know my house? Did you know them? No. They were in town. I think they were just like visiting. They were passing through. Yeah, they were got to pass and through. So I think that's, that makes it too.

They're like, whatever. We're never going to be in this town. Yeah. Oh, man. I mean, they were there for Night Beach, I'm guessing. Yeah. They were there for the. We had a big night be. Where'd you grow up again? South Carolina. Charleston.

We grew up just down the road from each other. We never knew. I ever knew. I mean, it was kind of a few roads. It was probably 30 minutes. A couple of years, too. It was. That is like, yeah, I mean, that's the greatest first boob. It was pretty good. It was nice to do it with friends and is a, as a big thing, you know? You know how, you know the despair I feel knowing I was mere miles away? You would have been like nine. What I was not?

What I think you were doing when Brett was looking at these? I actually didn't even live in Charleston yet. What is the worst? Because I would almost say nine is almost better. To see boobs? Like for them. Like what's the weirdest age? No, nine is like,

because what they did to you is, is, was a selfless act. What they did to, if they did it to Will when he was nine, that's like a legitimate crime. If he was like, hey,

show me your boobs and they're like, this is funny to show at night. Actually, I see where this is going. and I'm gonna revoke. Yeah. I think there needs... I realize flashing a nine-year-old's probably not that funny.

The four-year-gap, I think, is fine for them to do it any younger. Any younger. I think it's still a little weird. It's definitely weird, but... It was pretty weird. But like, it's definitely weird, but they, if they went any younger, I think, like, your parents would... If your parents heard that story, I don't think they'd go to the cops. No.

But if you were, like, 12, I think they'd be like, who are these? Yeah, that's fair. Naked, topless vigilantes running on topos. If we were like, I think once you get to middle school, they'd be like, well, what are we going to do here? Yeah. Yeah, you're in high school.

Also, it's like, with how much shit there is on the internet now, it's just nice. You got them in real life. Yeah. That's a good point. Yeah, I have a question. Were they the first ever boobs, or had you seen boobs, like, online? I had not watched. I wasn't watching.

Freshman in high school? Mm-mm. Oh, you were definitely spanking. Gooning. Yeah, you were like the goon man. I was, but I don't think I was, I had an iPod touch. But I don't think I would do porn. Yeah.

I would, I would go to YouTube. Sports Illustrated. Like dancing women. Yeah. Yeah. Because I was like, porn seems too gnarly. I do, wait, dancing women? They were like, yeah, you'd look up like, you know, dancing ladies.

Yeah. Or some of them were like the first, like, couple minutes of porn before they get naked. That used to be like early YouTube was all that. And then you just knew, you could, you got the setup and then you could in your head visualize like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, well, I mean, I never make it to the part where the clothes come off anyway. No. Will thought that, Will thought that sex was, uh, rubbing your boobs together, rubbing your nipples on their nipples until what age? Um, fifth grade.

Oh, okay, that's actually not as late as. Well, it's when I had the talk. My mom sat me down for the talk and she was like, fifth grade? Yeah. I was pretty innocent. How did you get, how did you figure that out? Or like, how did I reach that conclusion? Yeah.

It was the only time, only time I'd seen sex was like the opening of like Monty Python. There's some Monty Python, the meaning of life maybe. And they, that's how they have sex in it? No, it's just a, it doesn't show below the way. So it's just two people laying on top of each other and he didn't, he wasn't thinking about what their crotch is. No, it shows like, it's like the blanket is over them like. Yeah, I think it, I think it is this. And that really stuck the air.

Yeah, that makes sense if that's it. Wait, I actually don't know if that was it. I mean, I will say that right there does look like their nipples are connected. Maybe that is. He's also kind of like perpendicular to her. So it's like he's hitting it. Yeah, I think maybe that was it. Oh.

And I, and, and I had been showed. So I was like, my buddy was like, look, they're having sex. And that's like when I learned what sex was. So my mom gave me the talk. I think I just told it. It kind of looks like. I'm on your side there. I mean, he's got like pants on.

Yeah, maybe I agree. Here's the thing. If you told me like you were one of those kids that like you were stuck in a bunker and your parents thought there's a nuclear war and all you had to watch was Monty Python. Like I would be like, oh yeah, that makes sense. There's a lot of other ways to find out what sex is. Yeah. Even like the general movements. I know.

I just didn't know. I didn't know. And when my mom asked me, she was like, when we sat me down for the talk, she was like, so what? Do, you know, women have that men don't have? I was like boobs. She was like, well, yeah, but also, and I was like, mom, I already know it's boobbed. It's long hair.

And she was like, I already know and I've done it, okay? Going over to Brett's house later, he's got some co-eds. We know what we're doing. We know what we're doing. So you, yeah. Your mom gave you the sex doc? Yeah. How was that?

It was pretty. Like a fucking nightmare. Let's call a spade of spade here. Well, it was pretty embarrassing. because I thought it was boobs. Right. I was pretty mortified. That's one where I feel like she's like, oh, this is probably, she goes.

This is not going how I thought it was going to go. I also think she's like, man, I did this way too early. I think I might have jumped the gun on this. Fuck, I got to explain. No, it was like too late. Like, I think everyone else my age knew what it was. I was just like clinging on to innocence. There were kids like jacking off in fifth grade.

Yeah. 100%. Oh, I remember. I didn't get armature until I was 15. Yeah. still I think you can know what sex is without having armpit hair. Nope. Nope.

It's, those are two. Those are two. The same part of your brain that's like able to even comprehend what's going on when you're watching sex is the same part that that triggers aren't pain. You have to have it. Yeah. We, uh, I was in Mrs. Vita Taylor's third grade class. Yeah. And I, uh, for some reason, was running with like a, like a more skater.

Sure. Crew. There were two kids, they were like the two kids that skateboarded at our. Yeah. Elementary school. and they were like, you know, a little head of the curve. And we figured out if you went on Wikipedia, you could see like naked people

because you'd look up like boobs or like women's breasts or whatever. And so it was like very clinical pictures of boobs. And I remember like clinical. You're just jacking off to like melanoma photos? No, we were not jacking off yet. We were not jacking off yet. And I remember one, I'm not going to name it, but he, I don't think he understood that we were looking at it

because it was like women. So he just thought like, this is just like naughty for the sake of being naughty or whatever. And he looked up like, like penis. And we were like, oh, no, that's like the other. That's like the other end of the spectrum. Like not all of this is enjoyable. Like not all nudity for us. I remember I had a book on my, my nightstand.

Like there were like books on my, I don't know. Like I had a little like bookshelf in my room, I guess. I shared a room with my brother. And like he had like the onion made like a book. like the vegetable made the vegetable made a book it's crazy instead of chapters

we don't know how we don't know why it was like why don't we talk people need to talk about it or an onion wrote a book look it was a little derivative of some other works

but it was still a book it was that same year zucchini had that album it was just it's all that whole thing it's that phase we don't talk about veggie tales kind of

sprung that whole genre into life that sounds like a Dr. Seuss book, when an, when, when an onion was an author. Yeah, that's pretty good. So the onion, the satirical news site had published a book and there was a, an old man with a huge penis, a photo of it. And I would look at it because I was, I had never seen anything like that. Like what you would go see it. Not like goon it. Like I, I wouldn't goon to it. Sounds like you were gooning to it. I wasn't gooning to it. You were studying it. I was studying it. I was just like, I would, it was just like,

Mom, I'm working. It was in my bedroom and I knew I could look at it and I would be like, what the fuck? Was it erect? I don't think so, no. No. So you were staring at a flaccid, yeah. Like it was like big though and it was just so different than mine. I was like confused.

It is pretty shocking when you're like, I have a good grasp on what a penis looks like. You've only seen yours. Yeah. You go on the internet and you're like, ooh. No. Different colors. Some of them are like, they're like gray. They're like tan at the top.

Yeah, there's a lot of different. I was like undeveloped, too. So like, it was so different for mine. It had hair. It had, you're like, I'm not even sure that's the same thing. Literally. I think that guy might be a different species. Yeah.

Yeah, the variability and penise crazy, you know? Like, most hands look pretty similar. Yeah. I was thinking about that the other day. There's no, like, like, if you were at, if you were at, like, dinner with all your buddies. Yeah. And you, like, looked over and your friends' hands were like four times the size of yours. How is that?

What the hell? We accept that some of your buddies can just have like a one part of their body that is like infinitely bigger than you're like. Yeah. You're like this is not. I remember being in my backyard and this is so gross. But do you know, you know how like when you're a little kid, I guess you could still do it now where you can like push your penis like in and it like disappears when you're like a little kid? Yeah, you can still do it now. So I was like. I thought for a second because you said your backyard, you could push your penis. I thought. you were going to say sprinkler. And I was, I was waiting for that. Like, this was a, you thought it was a universe.

Yeah, you know, everyone did. You can shove your penis in the sprinkler. In the sprinkler. I was in the backyard and was just kind of had my, like, gym shorts open. Yeah. And it was just kind of like pushing it in and, like, having it pop back out, whatever. And I looked up, all-time name, our gardener at the time was this guy named Basil. And I looked up and Basil is in the garden looking back at me, poking my penis in and then letting it pop out

for like, I don't know how long he was watching, but maybe like, wait, is that weirder for you or baby? No, no, no, it was inside my shorts. Like, it wasn't like he could see, but like he could see that I was holding them open and doing something with a finger. And then I looked up,

he thought you were fingering yourself. He goes, huh, I was positive that was a boy. And we made eye contact. He looked away, never talked about it, and it never came up. I was just like, I wonder if he thinks about that Where he's like, what was that kid doing with this? I think he's probably thinking more of like, oh, God.

Like, do I? Because, like, what are you do in that situation? Yeah. Look away. Should I move? Yeah, look away. Like, definitely look away. But then you almost, is it one where you go to the parents and you're like, hey, I saw your kid's penis?

No, he, I don't think he saw it. Because I had him out. I had the shorts, like, out. Yeah. And I was just kind of, I don't know. I should think you might be right that if he had seen your penis, the move might be to get out ahead of it. Yeah. Yeah.

Because if you ever, like, said, like, like in passing, like, oh, Basil saw my penis. Then it's like an issue. Yeah. Like, I think you go and be like, hey, heads up. Hey, saw his penis. Look. Look.

Happened. Not proud of it. Look. I was genuinely curious what he was doing. It was, I was studying. I thought he was on to something. Thought he had like a new move. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Look. That kid has moves. What is that move? Oh, man. Anyway, what else is up with you? What else is up? Haircut. This is like a six-month fuck-up. It looks fantastic. I don't know what you're talking about. I think it looks great, too. Here's the deal. I don't think it's a bad haircut.

Right. But the problem is, I ask for my long, keep my long hair. If I was like, come over and watch a rom-com. Right. And then I put on Saw 5. Right. It's still a good movie, but it's not what I asked for. Yeah. Yeah. So that's where I'm at. Yeah. Where I'm, uh... Did you say something to him? Like, hey, man, way too short. that was the thing is I was so in shock and I was also like

there's nothing that can be done and he goes sometimes he goes I didn't know how I was gonna go but we nailed it didn't we he goes sometimes you nail it that's the last thing you want to say I didn't know how it was gonna go he's like you never know I was honestly I was going in there blind

also how much did you pay him he tipped him but you probably tipped him a bunch too didn't you I tipped too yeah the tip is where I'm out of I get a $150 haircut. And the reason I get a $150 haircut is because I only get it twice a year. Right. And it's long hair and it can't be screwed up.

Right. I need it done right. But then I was like, after he did it, I was like, a party was like, should I text him and be like, hey, what happened here? But I was also like, there's nothing. I don't want to be the guy yelling at my barber. Tape a few inches back on. Yeah, it's one of those. You just got to take it on the chin and I tipped like I usually did.

So, $180? Yeah, it was $180. That sucks. I finally, for the first time, you know, when they like spin you around and they're like, this is it, yeah. Oh, and they push Wade Duarden, you fucking...

You keep spinning. And it doesn't stop. Ah! Way too many rotations. I found, I gave a note. He didn't do what I asked him to do, and he was like, how does this look? And usually I just, I'm like,

it looks good, and I'd go somewhere else if I wanted, whatever. I was like, can we take a little more off this side? And he was like, yeah. So take it more off is fine. One side? He had left. It was this, you remember this happened like a little bit ago?

Yeah. He left like there was just a huge like swooping. He just let it be part on this side. Like the top was kind of swooping out. The top was like way longer than the sides. And this side was like swooping out. And I was like, I kind of want it to just. Yeah.

Not do that. For sure. And so I stood up for myself and I told him. That's good. It was not a big deal. No, I'm proud of you, though. Thank you. I think our generation doesn't speak up enough about... Your generation or our generation?

It was one in between us. So, the generation in between us. Our collective... Yes. We are the same. Are you Gen Z? You're millennial? I didn't say that.

What's the cutoff? I'm millennial. I think it's like 90-something? We're in the 90s? You're 90s? Well, we're in the 90s, isn't that? I think it's 97. I'm 90. I was born in 2000. I'm 95. Brett was born in 1981. Fuck. 96. Okay, you're Gen Z. No, he's born in 95.

Oh. Yeah. Damn. Damn. Damn. It's crazy. I will say, too, is part of me is like, I'm now, I'm 31. Right. And I got my, what was the problem? He cut my hair and I go, I don't know how long I'm going to have it. Right. My hair in general. Is it? Oh, yeah. I only have a few. I only have a, I'm, I don't know. I only have a, I don't know. I only have a few. I'm I only have 20 more years. You have like two more cuts. Yeah. Legitimately, I was like, this, this, I was like 31's kind of ruined. Right.

Because you never, you know, like if it starts falling out tomorrow, I'm like, damn. Have you had any hair loss? I don't think so. I don't think so. But that shit can sneak up on you. Yeah. That's my biggest, that's my biggest fear. Hair loss?

Yeah, and I don't, my dad has a full head of hair. How's your mom's dad, your grandpa on your mother's side? Mine, uh, he's like, he's doing fine. there's hair oh he how is he I haven't talked to me

he's pretty he's pretty old so he like is losing it now but like yeah I don't think I think he started to lose it maybe in his like

70s but he still has like that's good he kind of has the he kind of has like the Madoff can you pull Bernie Madoff he's got the made off

where it's like long like he still has curls and stuff like that but he's just losing a little bit on the top on the top Is that what he looks like?

It's not, it's the, he's got the, he's kind of got the, like, shorter Madoff, like the, maybe the Murdof fade. Yeah. I love a, yeah, pull up the one where he's in prison. Wait, Murdo or Madoff? Madoff. What did I say, Mordoff? Murdof.

I've been watching that Murdoch documentary. That's like what we grew up doing. Yeah. Dude, did you guys know about this family? Because the way they pitch it in the documentary is, like, everyone in South Carolina is aware, like, if these guys want something, it's happening and you have to, like, stay out of It's small town, South Carolina. Like, if you're not part of that town,

you don't know it. Were you guys near Hampton County? We were like... I think it was that like in between Charleston and Columbia, right? Yeah. Yeah, I mean like, in Charleston, like there's like... It's like a city. Yeah.

There's not like, no one's like... It's not like some old-timey, yeah, like southern guy. But in Columbia, like in the political scene, I was aware of who he was through the politics. Oh, really? Before? Yeah, yeah. Or just like, I'd heard the name as like,

it was like some powerful lawyer because like, you know, we were trying to get money. out of people and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was bummed. Uh, I, there's, the whole thing bummed you. I'm watching the documentary and, uh, and he was wearing a, he's wearing a bow tie that I own in one of it. Fuck. So I was like, what type? It was that, it's actually a Columbia, it's a South Carolina company that is called brackish. God damn it. God damn it. I got one too. Dude, he's, I love it. It's the greatest bow tie. What, it's, I have a couple, but I recently got the Gatsby. Oh, fuck. And he's, and he's,

wearing the fucking Gatsby in it. And I go, what does that say about me that I have the same sense, same, uh, same, uh, taste in bow ties as, uh, well, they're made, they're made with, uh, a feather of a bird. Yeah. So I have that one, I have, I have an all white one and I have a purple one. I've got the peacock feather. Yeah, dude. They don't make that one anymore. Really? I believe so. That one is the, is it the purple one? Yeah. That one, that's the coolest one. It's kind of like, looks a little bit like that. Yeah. My, uh, I got a black one from, uh, suit supply. Oh, nice. Yeah. Very cool. So Brett and I are kind of talking about this.

Yeah, right. Sorry, fuck. But like, is that, does that, does that anything to look and do, like, that we have the same bow tie? We have the same taste in bow ties as the guy who killed. I mean, so far, you've got the taste, you like to taste the bow tie and you want the birdie made-off haircut.

You know, you're referencing some pretty, whose mustache do you want? I don't want the, Kaplan, obviously. I don't want the made-off. I mean, he's got 75 Colombian cigars. They, no. This is, okay. Where is this?

It's actually a sensitive sensitive topic. Well, because I didn't know about the fucking humidor. So I bought... They're all cooked? I'm sure they are. Did you get one? Well, by the time I knew, it was like months too late. You have to put them in there like immediately.

A humidor? Yeah. That's... So I'm just not going to buy cigars anymore. I'm going to buy cigars when I want a cigar. Once you buy a humidor, there's probably one on Amazon for like $11. I know, but I didn't really... Like the...

It would be sunk cost at this point where I'm investing. in something that's already fucked up. Does it be keep us dry? So they're Nicaraguan. I think they keep them humid. Oh, so you got to keep it a little more. I believe so. Or they...

Well, it's been humid around here. So, I put them in a safe. And my thought is maybe that's such an enclosed space that it gets warm enough in there. But who knows? Yeah, maybe there's a liquid still a... Yeah. Imagine being the guy who finally pries up in the safe.

It's just like a bunch of cigars. Fuck. Ow. Oh. Ah. Yeah. Kind of makes me nauseous. Trying to quit.

Oh. There's another thing in it. You know when you're watching a doc and there's something that they're not addressed? Like there's a small detail that doesn't really matter, but it comes up enough that you're like, why don't they just tell me what that is? Yeah. Paul, the kid who crashed the boat, the Murdochard, is wearing like these like leather gloves and like cotton sleeves. For like 10% of the documentary. I think we've talked about-

Like Jack Harlow? No, like, just from like the elbow down. Like he kind of, it's... But he's, so he's wearing... It's kind of like, you remember... Driving loves? Early 2000s, like, football players would wear sleeves that were just from the elbow down.

You remember that? No, but it doesn't go up onto your... Like, it's whatever, it's semantics. But he's wearing these, like, out and about. Yeah. And they just never are like... And by the way, the reason he's... fucking doing this is he just did just like they never it's just a thing where I was like is that

like is that like Carolina style we're like I'd have to see it yeah I don't know what you're talking about it has to be like um just look up Paul Paul Murdoch maybe we can figure this out I mean Brett and I were growing up it was like leather sleeves cotton gloves yeah it was like if you'd be lucky you know you wouldn't you know you'd be you wouldn't need all week till the seafood boil till nana seafood boil that's right you know what i'm saying you once a week i'm gonna be honest i don't know what you're saying well when grandma brought out that seafood boil maybe maybe we'd eat oh that was good eats that's it oh i think i'm gonna have cornbread on sunday with my with our first day of soup tober oh nice he's doing soup tober my buddy's girlfriend is not october who gives

Fuck, man. I mean, she's making a stop in the middle of October, are you going to do six weeks of Suptober? I'm hoping. Jesus. You're asking the right question. I'm hoping it's the rest. I think it'll be probably the rest of the NFL.

For the record, she's not calling it soup tover. She told us she's going to start making soups. Oh, you've labeled it to try and drum up some. Got it. I'll say this. For now that Halloween starts basically in September with the decorations, everything, September Kana's gotten cucked. Yeah.

Like to me, if you were to ask me, quick gun, I got one second to answer, what month is it? I'm going October. Yeah, right now. I'm looking around me right now. I see this. It feels of October. Yeah.

September. It is not, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, the Mets. The Mets. Because you see that, you're like, I think, now that's October baseball. Halloween starts 912, you know? Like the afternoon, my birthday? Yeah.

It's kind of, that's the only reason. That's... Yeah, you're right. No, you can't sell it right before 9-11. No, you can't be putting up the decorations. Being in a pumpkin, being in like a pumpkin sweater on 9-11, we're fine not a good... Yeah. But 9-12 is kind of went October.

I like fall a lot. I do too. Our Christmas tree... I'll say it. Our Christmas tree still hasn't come down, and we had the conversation the other day, like, do we take it down and then, like, put it back up for Christmas? This was in, like, August. Yeah.

We were like, well, we're already, like... Wait, you have a Christmas tree in your house? Yeah. year round apparently is it real? No, it's not real that would be real that would be a lot

that would be amazing the it's just like it's like wilted and it the problem is so it's artificial but it sheds

like a normal tree yeah so like you're dealing with all the pine that's not possible is just like when you like brush it to like grab something

like some of the fake needles will come off so it's like I'm dealing with the cleanup of a real of a real tree but not getting any of the benefits yeah you don't get the spruce

don't get the smell do you put like an air fresherer on it or anything? No, that's actually not a bad idea. Yeah, you kind of got to have the matching. It is, it's also like a good, uh, it kind of acts as like a really big night light. Because like we turn all the lights off. And you still have it. And at night when you like come out to get a glass of water. Yeah. It's like lit up. The room is lit up. Oh, so you have like Christmas lights on it. You're around. And have you never turned off. Do you have ornaments? And you don't change them out or anything.

They just are on the tree. Like they like, I don't think you could take them off. Oh, it's part of the tree. Oh yeah. It's like one. It's like one. It's like one. It's like one. It's like, all. You ever burn a Christmas tree? Yeah. They do it on the beach where our parents live. Night beach? They do it at night beach. They do it at night beach. That's how they like night beach, right? Yeah. Yeah. We lit one pretty close to a house. Once. Bad? People don't tell you how flammable they are. They go up really fast. Yeah.

Because you're so dry at that point, too. Yeah. It was like one of those around the boob era. And we lit it and we didn't realize it was going to be that. And like the wind, too, was just the smoke pumbled into this house. Oh, my God. At night. And we sprinted. It was a... Do you do it on the beach?

No, it was on a golf course. Oh, man. Yeah. What was the plan? I don't think we even knew it would really like. Wild dunes? No, this was a... Actually, bleep that.

They're going to come for you? They're going to come for you. I want to be a member there. I knew it was that fucking... I want to be a member. I knew it was that pervert. Dude, our... Are you members at the country club?

No, no, no. Friend was. Okay, got it. Yeah, yeah. That would have been so far. Yeah, I'm just driving 45 minutes. You drove 45 minutes to light at Christmas. To light it's it.

It's the perfect place to do. Dude, we were talking about, I was telling our mutual buddy Max about like this streaking story. And he goes, yeah, when we were kids, we would all streak across the country club. And we were like, huh, like, why? And he just, he was like, I don't know, it was just like a thing we did. Like at night they'd all get naked and like run through the golf course. Nudity used to be like a lot like more acceptable. Yeah.

You remember like mooning? Yeah, dude. You can't moon anymore. We used to, my babysitter would drive me around and stick my bare butt out the window and she would yell it's a full moon. It's a good babysitter. And Will said, thank you. Yeah.

She was the best babysitter. Between your gardener and your babysitter. What was the book she showed you? Oh, yeah. It's something that happened. Will like, will like, has beef with her. I don't have beef where I'm looking out for you. Tell them about the books you made you read or whatever.

make me read this. We were... She just made me stick my ass out of the window. She was, she didn't make me, she let me stick my ass out the window. She made you put your ass on that. Also, the week prior to that, her boyfriend and her, she was driving and her boyfriend was in the passenger seat. He leaned out and smacked a biker on the butt and he fell off his bike. Yeah. She was like, kind of a wild child. And, uh, and, uh, what was the book? She made you read. So she was house sitting well, she was babysitting us, right? So she was like, hey, I have to go, you know, water the plants. How old are you in this?

I was probably somewhere between like eight and ten maybe. Okay. Maybe a little bit older, maybe a little bit younger. Right. And she's in high school? She was like, yeah, she was like the coolest girl at our high school. And her high school. I was in elementary school.

And we went over and she was like, do you want to see something crazy? And I was like, yeah. It's like, pick up that book. We were in the kids room, like one of the kids around my age's room. that she was house setting for it. And she's like, read through that. And instead of this kid's parents, like, having the talk with him, they just gave him this book that would, like, answer any puberty question,

sex question, whatever. And so I'm flipping through it. And she was like, go to page like 13, I think or whatever. And one of the questions was like, what if I pee inside of her? And the answer was like, it's not possible. And she was like, isn't that bizarre? And I was like, that is bizarre. And I told Will that.

And he was like, That's weird that she showed you that. I was like, no, it's weird. The book existed. Okay. She picked the book out from, you didn't stumble across it. We were close enough that she was like, that is fucking bizarre. Go read that.

I don't see the problem with this. She didn't write the fucking book. Like, I didn't even know what sex was at that point. That's like, if she like was like, go under there and you found a gun, she's like, isn't that fucking crazy? I would think that that would If she knew there was a gun under there Yeah she's like isn't that insane Go grab it

She didn't build a gun Wait I don't Being like Oh you're nine years old Go read this like sex thing I found Is that's weird Yeah It doesn't matter

It's like I'm not seeing I don't think you guys know our relationship We were very tight You're still You're still nine and It's like Stockholm syndrome or something Yeah Wait what I don't understand

What is I don't understand what Andrew Thoughts? Am I crazy here? What is wrong with this? I'm still stuck on Brett's boob thing Like, what were you expecting to see when they... Wait, what? The conversation from, like, 30 minutes? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was still thinking about that. I think boob. I think the answer would probably be boobs, right? Yeah, but, like, you didn't know what they looked like. Until, yeah. So, like, did you have any expectations? Oh, yeah. I mean, I think I, like, knew what boobs looked like.

Yeah. Oh. So you had seen some before. Yeah, I have no idea what's coming. Oh! Oh, my God. What are they've nipples? What the hell?

That's what I was thinking. I was like, there could be like, there could be like gremlins under there. Why do they look like that? Thought they were going to be spiky. You would have to know. Babysitter. Yeah, I think that's really fucking weird. Also, it's like a pretty vile like, like, pissing in someone.

No, that's, that is where I'm like, that is, I would, I'm on her side where I would be like, I have to share this with someone. That's a show this with the nine-year-old boy. The nine-year-old, who I'm in charge of, like, I'm hired because they don't know what they're doing in life. I was pretty, I was pretty advanced, I think. Like, I was ready for this. I think we had more of a relationship that, like, peers would have than, like...

Yeah, that's weird. Yeah. That's like, that's the weird part. Yeah, that's literally grooming. If you met her, all my friends that also had her as a babysitter were, like, she's the coolest. She's the man. You guys should all compare stories and see. Yeah.

You might have been apart of something. There was another one. Showed you the peepage to. Yeah. But I was more like, I feel like the, okay, I can maybe give you like, maybe she shouldn't have shown her to me. Yeah. The weirder thing is that that's a question in this book, no?

What if I pee inside her? And then the answer was like, impossible. Not possible. I thought about that. Is it impossible? I don't understand the impossibility. I think they were saying it's just like it can happen or like it won't happen. I mean, I think you'd have to be really like.

Focusing. Focusing. Yeah. To pee inside. Like, have you ever had, it's like when someone, like, uh, not to get, if you ever had a lady want to, like, hold your penis while you're peeing? You're like in the bathroom and they're like, they like try and do that. Better yet. Have you ever had your babysitter when I hold your penis by your penis while?

That's happened to me like multiple times. What? And when they like, wait, what? It like shuts off. You've never had that avenue where you're like peeing. That's happened to you multiple times? Wait, wait, what? That's never happened again?

No. Like in like a sexy way? No, no, no, no, no. Like they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like brushing their teeth. and you're peeing and they're like, can I hold it? I don't think any girl I've ever met would even want to do that. No. It's happened to me like probably five times. Like as an adult?

Five different women? Yeah. Have asked? And then it shut, the point of this story was it shuts off the second they touch it. No. You don't get to make the point of this story. You don't put in the story. You tell the story.

We tell you what the point is. Five different adult women have asked to hold your penis while you. I thought I was going to say that and you guys were going to be like, Of course. That's like a thing that happens. Andrew, I'm on your side here. Yeah.

What? What? That has also happened to me. Are you just like, I guess I don't pee in. That's never happened to you, right? No. I've also, that's not how we do it in Charleston.

No. I've also seen stuff about this on the internet where people, like, couples are talking about this. What is, what is in it for them? They just are like curious what it, like, I don't know. I didn't ask. Like, it's about the holding or it's about the, it's, are you soft or hard? Soft.

Dude, you're peeing. Okay. And they're like, can I hold it with you pee, whatever? And then it like, the point of it was it shuts off. It's like impossible to pee while somebody. Does it shut off for you? No, it doesn't shut off. Oh, it shut off for me.

The point is, I think if there's that much... Again, we will decide what the point is. I think if there's that much pressure around it, like, during sex, it wouldn't, you wouldn't be able to start here. Well, she's not supposed to be squeezing it. She's supposed to be, like, guiding it. Yeah, but they don't, it's like, they don't have the feel for it yet. So you're saying if she was loose enough, you could pee in her. Probably.

Oh, man. Yeah, I go to the pee. All this pee talk has me pee in. Yeah, I got to pee as well. I can't believe you guys haven't heard. Never. Guys, this episode is brought to you by Bearbells. They got a new cinnamon bun flavor.

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All right. I want to address what happened on the pee break. We asked, we talked to three different guys. We only ran into three guys. All three of them said that this has happened multiple times to them. I feel a little validated. Any thoughts here, guys? I'm pretty, I'm now it's turned into that I'm in.

like embarrassed that no one's ever asked. Is it because I have a weird penis? I'm wondering as well, because it is one of those where I go, this seems like a human experience. Also, are they like a whole hand? I'm gonna be honest. Like if it's like soft and like cold out like,

so this is, you might be lucky to get a few fingers around. This is the problem. This is the like inherent problem with it is they've never like they've never had to figure out the pressure. So they grab it way too hard. Oh yeah. And it shuts all the pieces.

off. All right, so that's your problem, but that doesn't seem to happen. You got some iron grip just Yeah. I have people coming in and like, like, leave. But like, so the way IP is fingers

fingers on top of the base. And that's the only hand. And I'm kind of pulling up to have it go up and I'm kind of pushing down to have it go down. I don't even touch it most times, honestly. Do you let it fly? I feel like you can aim without

I saw Mara West being with his hands on his hips That was kind of boss What's that? It's just a family guy quick I had a kid walk in one time when I was holding I was in our freshman dorm And I was holding both I had both my hands on the dividers

Just kind of like kicking it That's all And he walked in and was like That is awesome I mean in my house I don't touch it ever But that's because The risk of getting a little pee on the seat Is way lower at your own house

Yeah Do you go do you hold it like Between your fingers like a cigarette No. Here's the reality. And this is why I think at least I can rule myself out. No woman has ever tried to hold my penis. My stream is ridiculously strong.

They're like worried that. Mine is like loud. Mine is loud. Yeah. Loud. It's like, they have the same reservation as like asking a fireman to grab the fire. Exactly.

I don't know if I could handle it. Yeah. Yeah. You're worried about recoil. Yes, exactly. So that's the thing with me. I'm more of a recoil guy, so I'm playing, you know, like, I mean, so if I, good thing, we can't pee inside people. If I did.

Right. They'd kill them. You'd kill them. Yeah. You'd shoot them across the room. I'm sorry. I'm picturing there on top and it's just like, oh! Into the ceiling fan.

Stop, I can't. It's going. So we're outside. And I go, I go, Mike, has this ever happened to you? And I told him Mike goes, dude, that is so funny. I was thinking about that this morning. And we were like, see, this is happening, whatever. And then a new guy we haven't met named Chris goes, I hate to butt in, but that's happened to me as well.

He goes, I know I don't know you, but I need to get this off my chest. It was, that was it. I'm, I think the problem. I'm embarrassed for you guys, truly. You guys are, look, most men have weak streams. Yeah, I also. It's a stream thing. I mean, I'm down to take that route with you, but I don't know if that's why. Well, are you peeing like when women are in the bathroom?

Because that's step one. My bathroom is like tiny. Yeah. Mine is kind of got to have a big bathroom. You can't fit two people in my bathroom. Mine is kind of meant for women. Your bathroom is like bigger than your bedroom. I don't really pee in front of women. Should we ask from the female perspective? She said, I did. I asked Pinder. She was like, what? That's insane. Okay, good. But she's also never had a boyfriend. I don't know. I'm not kidding. That would be, I love a one-night stand This is standing in the door. Mind if I hold it?

This is not a one-night stand thing. This is like a, this has never happened to me when I've been dating someone for like less than multiple, multiple months. I mean, this is a huge, that's a big move. This is the most intimate thing you can do. I think that's bigger than I love you. Yeah. Oh my, oh my God.

If you're, if they're holding your penis while you're saying before they say, I love you, there's something wrong. Yeah, that's, yeah. They need to unpack some. Yeah. And so your babysitter did this to you? There was another good babysitter story. We'd go into, uh, we'd go into parking lots. Yeah. If we didn't have much to do. And, uh, we'd wait for someone to come out, like, prefer, it was fun. The older they were, the funnier. Sure. So you'd wait for like a really old lady.

Yeah. Yeah. Or guy. And be like, excuse me. Um, I think, I think something fell out of your, your cart. And they'd like, look around and be like, like, I rolled under that car. And then they'd get down on their hands and knees and we'd go. I think it was a super jumbo tampon and then peel out. In high school, you did that? No, this is again when I was probably like... With your babysitter? Yeah, probably. Oh, you did that with your... Again. Dude, I didn't have like a phone. I mean, this was, we were a no cable house. Like, there was only so many things. This, I was probably like 13. And so she was like a 12 legal adult. Yeah, she was like 20? Yeah. No, way older than that. She's probably like, way older?

Wait, I thought she was in high school when you were nine. How old is? How old? The older she is the weirder is. She has two kids now and she's married so she's probably close to 40 now. Maybe my math is off. I think your math is way off. She's 40?

She's not... She's 15 years older than you. Can we Google? She was 24 and you were 9 and she was showing you sex stuff. No, that's not possible. Can you believe that shit? Google? Let's go make old people crawl on the... Let me just... I'll Google what year she graduated. Oh, Andrew's looking at up.

Babysitter age? Mm-hmm. Babysitter age is 11 to 16. Okay. I can remember with that. Well, we're just going off of not her age? Wait, wait, wait, I'm going off Google. Babysitter age?

That told us nothing. Okay, okay. She was in college. She was in college in 2012. So let me see what year she was. She started in college. She was 11. She was a junior.

She was a junior on the soccer team. In 2012. which is when you were 11. She's like 34. So I was 11. So when you were 9, she was in college. Probably. She was a freshman in college.

I don't know, man. That's, because at that point, she's, she's well too old to know what she's doing. Well, she's only three years old than Brett. That's a good point. We don't need to put.

She could have showed her up bread. Bread age. So, so she was like 20. She was like 20 when I was 11. So she would have been 18, when I was nine. I never had this with babysitters. Yes, yes.

She was a senior in high school and we were doing the mooning thing. We were doing the tampon thing. Yeah, I mean, that's... Your babysitter was doing the moon thing. Here's a story. I'll tell you. My babysitter, I needed... My parents left a note, like, make sure Brett takes a bath or whatever. I had... I was 17. I was 17. It was very old. They're like, just

make sure he does it. I was in my pajamas. It's like full-blown pajama pants. And we go to... We go to the bathroom. I start taking them off. She goes, what are you doing? I go, well, I'm taking my pants off so I can go to the bath. And she goes, I don't feel comfortable with that. And I go, what do you want me to do?

She goes, just get in there. No. And I had to pain soaked in my pajamas, just bawling. Even at that age, I'm like, this can't be right. There's no way this is the way to do this. I'm soaked in the shit. What am I doing? You took a bath with your pants?

I put my pants on bawling. And she... Honestly, I'm not even comfortable shirtless. Go put on a shirt. Legitarily. You're in a suit? Yeah. And she was like so cautious to not see me naked or like had a weird...

Maybe she was like a pervert. I think maybe she knew. Yeah, she was like, I can't sound like. I can't. I can't. Have you ever seen a Big Daddy? He's washing... He's washing one of the Ephron twins.

He's like looking over them in the bath. And the... And he's in bathing suit. He's in a bathing suit. And he goes, why am I in my swim trunks? He goes, I'm going to be honest, I don't know the rules about this thing. Like, I think she could have just been like, go put on a swimsuit. That would have been better.

Yeah. But by pajama pants, really. To this day, I don't like wearing pajamas. Yeah. We still call my sister. You know what, I don't wear pajamas either. Do you guys get the thing where you like can't wear them because they like bunch? Like, I need to be in like almost nothing in bed.

Like I can't sleep naked. I can't sleep in a T-shirt. I can't. I slept naked the other day. It was awesome. I do it every night. You know, it probably reduces your stress levels to go fully naked. Yeah.

I'm just worried that, like, somehow my, like, knee will pin my penis or something. Like, submit it. Like, somehow, like, I'll be like this and, like, I'll, like, turn and it will just... It'll pinch you. It'll just pinch you all. Dude, it's like those guys that... Have you ever had a buddy who got his balls twisted? I don't know about, see?

There's... Or, like, the sheets, you know? Oh, yeah, I don't want to get... Yeah, I mean, that thing has a mind. Sleep naked because you're worried your knee. pinch your penis. Well, you know, it's more of like the pinnit. The vibe is like, so it just feels like there's too much movement.

I love it. How, wait, so that implies. No, it's not that my penis will ever, my knee would have to bend pretty far back. Yeah, I don't understand how your knee would ever come. Maybe more of like a, like a thigh or something. Yeah. I mean, I'll be honest, this is a more recent development of my life because it's been so hot lately and I know they see. So that's sort of, I'll probably start wearing pajamas. If there's like an intruder

Yeah You're naked Yeah but I feel like that might help you He'd be like Oh whoa Yeah It's either gonna help or really hurt And they'd be like

Oh can I hold it Can I hold it If you were an intruder And a guy's running at you in pajama pants You go I can take this guy But if a guy's running at you naked That's a good point I think that if you

Running at him hard Hard oh yeah You know oh god I think that if you're about to get in an altercation And you get hard Naked? Well, get hard for sure. It's over. But if you get naked, they're like, all right, I don't know what this is anymore. Yeah, yeah.

But if you start naked. Here's the thing. Let's say, you know, two guys, you're fighting a guy who's fully clothed. You go, the worst case scenario is he, he, like, submits me or he beats me, whatever. Yeah. If the guy's naked and he beats you, then you go, well, what is he going to do after he's got me there? You know what I mean? But if you're getting, like, your ass kicked.

Yeah. Like three guys are like trying to curb stomp you kind of shit and you just take your pants off Yeah I think they're gonna leave I think so yeah you could save your life probably I I honestly believe that Yeah he's getting they're like trying to put him back on yeah put the pants on yeah He's going for the belt buckle he knows we hate this oh no This is our because I feel like I feel like the bed diagram of guys you want to kick your ass and guys who don't want to be gay at all costs Yeah, yeah that's I think it's the same it's yeah I think it's honestly a guy good defense technique.

Yeah. For men, I think it's... I don't hate it. I like it a lot, actually. Yeah. I, uh,

I was naked when my fire alarm went off, like a couple weeks ago. And so I had to like put on, you just put on whatever is like closest and I kind of had like a fuck ass outfit on. So I, I think you could maybe sleep, maybe there's a, there's a middle ground where if you're going to sleep naked,

have like a sharp outfit laid out just in case. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. I don't, I don't, I don't know. Would you ever go out?

It would be funny if you, everyone's in their pajamas, like, waiting for the fire department to show up and one guy's just butt naked. What? I thought we were coming out. I saw all you guys in your pajamas. I have dreams that I'm, like, in public naked a lot. Like anxiety dreams. Does get you? That's just, like, one of the common recurring things that I'll have is, like, I'm in, like, I'm, like, at work and then I'm, like, butt-ass naked.

Like, you, like, you came to work and you forgot to put clothes out of that. I think I just, I drop it. Like, I drop it. and I just have to deal with this circumstance. I kind of had a nudist father. So it's like not publicly nudist, but naked around the house. Really? Yeah.

Brain? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Pooley. And I'm the one with the weird babysitter. Oh, no, no, for sure. There was the, one time I had a bunch of my friends over. Five friends. You know, it's like, we're all supposed to.

Same boot. Was it the boob crew? It's a boob crew. Honestly, it might have been. This might have been the most elite night. ruined by this. He saw everything that night. Five of us sleeping in the same room

and it's one of those where it's like you're trying to sleep and then someone says something and it's the funniest thing in the world. And my dad like, it's 3 a.m. And he hears us, you know. And he was sleeping naked. He just comes, we're in pitch black. He turns on the hallway light opens the door. And so we're just seeing like the illumination

of his silhouette. Silhouette, you know. Like some of the guys are literally sleeping on the floor. As he's like, shuck up and staring up his goose. Like, like, his ball sack being like the shadow casted on their, their face. And he's like, shut the fuck up. He was very, like, he had both.

He was very, like, yelled at naked man. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, I, I, uh, I don't think my dad ever walks around the house naked. I'm no, I've seen my dad naked once in my life and it was completely, but you also had only boys. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good point.

So that might be different. If you're a sister, that might have been weird. Yeah. We would bathe with our dad as well. My dad taught me out of shower and then that was it. Your dad and you would get in the bath together? Yeah. I think that was like kind of normal.

I mean, I think it is normal. Well past to, well, then my dad wanted to conserve water, so we would run one bath in night. Is that true? Yeah. Brett. So this is like up to like age 13. So everyone would get. You guys were a bath family?

And when we were at my dad's, we were a bath family. And then we were at my mom's, we were shower, and she was like, she goes, a man should never take a bath. A man should never have time to take a bath. It was really just like, kind of too conflicting ideas. Can we land in the middle somewhere? Like, you can do it once in a while. He's like, there's absolutely no, your dad should not have time to do that. But he would, my dad would run the bath, he would bat.

And then I have two brothers. So we would like kind of like, if you were last in the bath. You're getting dirty. You're dirtier than when you got in. Yeah, I don't think I, yeah, functionally. Yeah. I always looked at baths as a relaxation thing, not a clean, like I would take them if I wanted to. I think you have to shower after a bath.

I shower before and then I get in the bath. And I treat it like a hot tub. I've been done that in years ago. I've been taking a bath probably since I was. Before I had hair on my Charlie Browns. The last like, we would do like family, like the kids when we were like little, like little. Yeah. And I believe the last.

one, what we still call my sister floater. She, uh, she let out a log. Ooh, from the front of the bath and apparently like went past my sister and kind of like floated back to where I was in the back. And my parents were like, oh, okay. Do you ever see like photo, like I have like photos of me and like for the record at like at like maybe like, you know, age two to age six. Like it wasn't like, she was age two. She was, I'm the youngest. She was six. I believe she. My sister, my sister screamed floater. As she did it? We got a floater! Was she did it on purpose? No, no, no. Sorry, the middle sister. So my

sister poops, it kind of is like lazy rivering back to me. It passes my sister on her left. How big is this bath? It was pretty big. He got a big bath. And she yelled floater and then it came back to me. I like that you it's almost like she had like a warning call prepared. We knew, we all knew what this is. Floater, we got a floater. It's like lighting the beacons. Everyone light it.

yell it down the line. Dude, we would go to, like, the county pool on someone who pooping? And it would, every 10 minutes, it would, but, I was, uh, at one of those pools, they did that, they're like, everyone get out,

the kid's shit in the pool, but there was a bunch of senile old people and they thought it was adults with them. And they all, like, literally zombies were trying to, like, get in there as like the lifeguards, we're like, stop, stop! Oh my God.

Doing breaststroke through diarrhea. Um, don't, I mean, they have to drain the pool, right? No. They, at the Lancaster County municipal pool, they just, they would go in with a, it's a scuba diver in. Yeah. I feel like realistically, they don't actually have to do anything.

They just do it for a show. They got to get the log out, right. I literally think they would just fish it out. Yeah. Oh. And I feel like that's like kind of for like, all right. The funniest part is I remember vividly, like this would happen like quite literally like three times every time you went to the pool.

Like it would have in one. They used to drain it. Like hour late. Yeah. But it was like, but I was, what's funny to think back to is that. when it would happen, we're like, oh, they're being so annoying. It's like, and we're like, God, can they please, like, get it over so we can get back in there? Come on! Now I'd be like, I'm going home now. I'm not ever getting in a pool. Yeah. Oh, man. I told you,

you're clamoring to get back in the pool pool. I told you this, but the, my first day as a pool boy, the guy, my, like, mentor, I was the, I was like the junior guy and you had like a senior guy that would like show you how to do it. Yeah. He was like, we got a hot tub later. You guys, when you see this filter, you're never getting a hot tub in your life again. I was like, huh, like what could that, like, what could possibly be? I was thinking like, like squirrels. Yeah. Yeah.

The one we got was clean. He was like, this never happens. I think, I think, I think he was saying it was like a cum thing. Like a cum tub. He was like, you're like, come or condoms or random shit. Yeah. I love, look at this. Like such a buildup.

He doesn't like want, you could tell he wanted it to be like a fucking disaster. A cum shot or something. Like a load of. All right. Well. They're never like this. This was the same guy that was addicted to percocets.

Then I'd have to, I'd have to trick him into letting me drive a man. Yeah, we picked up on that. The same guy. I'd be like, I'd be like, how crazy would it be if I drove the van today?

And he'd be like, oh, okay. And then like, at the end of the day, I'd be like, I want to drive it again. We're like, nope. No, I think I'm going to drive it, actually. How long do you lifeguard for? I was a pool boy.

Pool boy. And I was, so I was rotating. So I would go, I had like 40 pools. Yeah. So each day you'd go to like a different part of town. I did that for two summers. Yeah.

I recruited my buddy John to join. He did not. I think he thought it was going to be like sexy pool boy, like chill vibe, whatever. It was like 7 a.m. to like 5 p.m. Yeah. It sucked. It was like you're just like cold and like dirty, whatever. And he quit after like two days and kind of like convinced me to quit.

It was one of those ones where it was we have work in the morning. he had just texted the guy like hey I'm this is not for me yeah so he's gonna go out and I can't go out because I've worked at 7th of the morning and he just over two hours like wore me down and I texted the guy and I was like hey I'm so sorry but I have to quit and he texted me he's like don't do this to me man they were already like short staffed he was like don't I was totally fucking this guy's like like livelihood over by quitting and I was like I'm sorry dude like I have to and I quit out went out quit went out uh got a new job like two weeks later at a restaurant that paid less

was arguably a worse job. Yeah, restaurants worse than... And he came in to dine. And I think I had phrased it. Like, I had some, like, crazy opportunity that I couldn't pass up. And I'm folding forks and knives into the, like, napkins.

Yeah. And he walked by with his wife and goes, like... And, like, took two steps back and he was like, Jack? And I was like, hey. And he was like, what are you doing? And I was like, I work here now. And he was like, oh, okay.

And walked away. I felt like such an idiot. He was like disappointed in you? It's an opportunity I really. I can't pass this up, dude. These forks are insane. Lower paying job. But they let us have shifty's.

Every hour you could have a beer. Really? Every hour? I think it was supposed to be like you get like one. Yeah. After you've clocked out. Yeah. And our, uh, you guys would just drink on the job.

Our manager, it was a brewery and our manager was just like, get one every hour. Damn. Yeah. And all these kids were like under 21. Yeah. Like, this was dangerous. I've had a bet.

I've never been good in the food industry. I tell you got, the health inspector came one time. I was flipping burgers while I was eating soft served ice cream. That was tough. Not a crime, by the way. Not a crime. They had to put a sign up and said no lobster rolls for breakfast because of us.

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yet, use bonus code playdate to claim your new player offer. Bet MGM Make it legendary. Let's get back into the episode. Do you work in a restaurant? Where? Salt. It's on Sullivan's Island. Close. In Charleston? Yeah. Oh, did it close as a result of you?

I mean, honestly, I did not help. I was bus boy in. I mean, like, I was only there three months, and I straight up in that three months, dropped full tray of waters on top of a guy. That was fun. This is the worst is that we they did that like the water or the tray the whole thing It just like I didn't never I never understood the balance so I had six waters I took one off

Placed it and I go oh fuck It's like a jenga situation all just fell on this guy It is like it's it's all field you got like you get good at it and then it's like you could just do it but it's I never got to It's I dropped a we had a they would serve like in a cast iron skillet Right? Like something's late. Oh, no. And I place that down. And I guess you're supposed to warn people.

And I forgot to warn her. And the girl goes, ooh, looks good. She grabs it and goes, ha! And she's screaming and then pulls away. Your backs to her? Yeah. All right, nailed it. Fihitas are on the table.

Ah! And then I left at her. And I was like, oh, I still got to do the warning. And I go, please be careful. The skillet is hot. And she's like, third degree burns on her hand as I'm now giving her the morning. You're like, yeah, you're retroactively. I said it.

I was like, oh, please be careful. Yeah, she got the warning. So, no, that was, uh, I did my best summer job at linen delivery. So like, we would go, like, Charles has got a bunch of vacation houses. So they would, like, turn over linens. And we would go to this factory, but we would work with prisoners at the time. I was 15 and they would have prisoners come in from jail and they go on a bus. And they would like fold linens.

And then they would like put us all in polo shirts and like ship us out to go like to these like with the prisoners. Wait, sometimes you'd ride with a prisoner. It was like for restaurants? This was like vacation homes. So were you in charge of like if this guy makes a run for it, do I have to like track him down? I think, like, technically, we've... One of them's like, hey, can you bring me a knife? Yeah.

We're, like, 16, and sometimes you'd be riding with a prisoner and, like... Was there any, like, security camera in the truck? Like, what if you gave him a knife? Yeah, I guess it's it's it's a knife now. They must have been, like... They're, like... Like, I think they're... But it's one of those, like, they can leave.

They have to go back to prison every night. It's crazy. Oh, like, they have a work pass. It was, like, a work pass. They were, like, night prisoners. And they were probably making, like... It's like the... Now there's night beach.

There's night... His night prison. Dude, that's what Epstein didn't have to go back until 8 p.m. every day. Really? In the early 2000s, he was on like a work. They thought he's like a werewolf. They're like, as long as, he'd only had a private wing, you'd go in. I guess all his crimes probably were.

What's it like checking in a jail? I think you probably. I don't know. I don't know. Scanning. You scan it in. Oh. I was the juicer at that same restaurant.

I think they were like, we need to give him like more to do. You got to pay you fucking. fucking tab. Jackie the juicer. And they, they bought this like really nice juicer where you were supposed to be able to just pour the lemons

in the top. You were the juicer or they bought a juicer? They bought a machine and then I operated. Got it. You were the juicer operator. I was the juice attendant. Yeah.

And, uh, oh, you're the JAA. I'd clog it every day. You were supposed to do it with like pretty slow. Yeah. And I was like, if I do this all in like 15 minutes,

you'll be. But it funnels all the, all the, uh, what are they called? The fucking fruit down into the thing and then it slices it and then it, whatever, juices it, whatever.

Yeah. And I'd make myself like a little cup of the lime juice and I'd be drinking the lime juice and the manager came in and she was like, I think either she was wrong or I was wrong, but she was like, you're not supposed to drink that straight.

Like if you drink a pint of just like straight lime juice, you can get like reverse scurvy or something. Oh. You drink too much, I guess. Reverse scurvy. I don't know. Reverse scurvy. pirates don't ever have it.

It's cured by going out to see. Yeah, that's it. Should we roadmap it up? Yeah. All right. We have a beautiful episode for you guys today. We are going to do, we're going to do pitches. This guy rocks.

Oh, wait, I actually don't have that. Again, we didn't tell Brett any of this. We're going to do pitches. Hell yeah. We're going to. Confessions. And then we're going to do sayings that don't exist. Yeah.

Cool. Brett has been itching to get sayings. I have a call. couple good ones i know but i'm like fuck pressure i know and i i know i've come up with something i haven't shared i can't remember yeah got to write him down immediately i know fuck all right this is from kurt what's up and the chipmunks oh so we're by the way this is like we're the shark tank cool randy you know because you listen yeah of course you're playing i love this part i'm the chipmunks and which one he's rusty i'm sorry i'm andrew cool okay yeah yeah then what are you

I'm a, uh, don't worry about me. Cool. Okay, what's the worst part about drinking? Oh, man. Worst part about drinking, got to be the hangovers, right? Yeah. Unless you have Zbiotic. Use code Brett Dodenhoff.

If you have two, if you have two, if you have, what's the code? Fuck, I should, I should know it by now. Do you have a Zbiotic code? Yeah, I got a Zbiotic code. What is it? We'll plug it in the link. Uh, no, it's, I get 20 bucks off in my orders. I, I probably given that company legitimately $100,000 of recurring revenue.

You have that many people that are on it? I mean, I imagine. And once you're on it, you don't leave. It's that good. It's like a hangover cure thing. He's, like, obsessed with it. It's great. I'm also going to go the hangover.

Oh, no, the diarrhea, let's say. That's right. Drinking the alcohol. Introducing drunk dial, a small dial similar to a watch that you can turn from one to 10 to give you the effects of alcohol without drinking it.

10 being 10 beers, one being one beer, so on and so forth. late to the party, crank it to 7 and be instantly caught up to your buddies. Long day, crank it to 3 and feel just right. Feel the effects of beer without drinking and feeling bloated and full. Please use responsibly. Love the pod.

Keep it up, dudes. P.F. You guys should come to Missoula. Missoula. Missoula Mountain for bar reviews and invite me. I think it means Montana. Montana. Here's the problem.

I know a few brothers. that would be wearing a couple of those watches. Yeah. And I think it would get out of hand quickly. It would be nice that you could go to a party crank it to 10. And then when it's time to go home, crank it to zero. Well, I like the idea that you can access other people's too. So if it's like, turn it down a little bit.

You're being like, oh. Crank it back. There's also like someone's being like an asshole at the bar and like, because they're just hammered. And then they immediately turn it down and they're normal again. Oh my God. To be instantly accountable for your actions. Oh.

Oh, I'm sorry. Like, turn it back up. Me pushing someone. It's like, oh, fuck. Oh, my God. Hotwire. That would be so confusing. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. All right. I love it. I think I'm out. I think I'm out. All right. Should we hear some confessions? Yeah.

So we tell them if they're going to heaven or hell. All right. Forgive me, Father. For I. Not really. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. A few years ago, my boyfriend and I of five years had broken up. and he hooked up with a girl two days after the breakup.

He hooked up with that same girl a week later. I found out about it and we ended up getting back together two weeks later, which was really tough for me for obvious reasons. I was super self-conscious about myself and the relationship, but I really wanted to make it work. My first time spending the night at his place after this was going well, but I was sitting at his desk and grabbed a notebook to write in, but he told me not to open it.

He said it was like his diary, which he wrote in during the time that we were broken up, and during the hookup with the other girl. I totally understood and put away. But while he was taking the shower, my curiosity got the better of me, and I read it. I don't know why I tortured myself like that, but I did. I only read a few lines, but I had to stop.

I put it away and never told him. But the bad part is that we are still together, and sometimes when I'm mad at him, I will say some of the phrases he wrote down about the girl slash the breakup time. I'm not sure if he realizes, but there has been a few times that he's paused after I say something, and I can tell he can kind of,

to pick up on it. I know I probably just feel guilty and still hold a bit of a grudge against him, but I need to know if I'm going to heaven or hell or purgatory. Oh, man. You're playing a dangerous game by reading the... Reading someone's diary is sort of a... It's tough. But I mean reading it out, reading the passages back to him. Like, it's almost like you want to get caught. Yeah. I think you probably do want to get caught because then the guilt goes away. Yeah. You'd rather face the consequences. I wonder what he said about the girl. Yeah, what do you say? I want to know what it was.

Yeah, we've got to know more. I'm also, five years breakup. He hooks up with a girl two days later. That's not great. That's not great. And here's where I go, look, if maybe he had been like, I'm out and knew he's going to be out for a year. Right. But the fact you get back together right away, I go, what's this guy doing? Yeah, what? Yeah. Was he? I feel like heartbreak is. Need more than two days. You need more than two days. Sounds like you just wanted to bang that girl.

I think it's a third day By day three of course 72 hours before you go to nuts Yeah no he was definitely wrong for that But then you look at his die It feels like maybe you guys could like call it truce Yeah I like that might be the move

I think come clean and then you're gonna have it But also like Yeah I don't know Do she know that he hooked up With that outside of the journal Or is the journal how she found out No I think she knew already So he was kind of honest with that

Yeah And then she read the journal Yeah, maybe you have to be honest with him. Also, did she break up with him? Oh, yeah, a lot of, yeah. Because if he broke up with you, then went and hooked up with the girl and then it was like, I want to get back together. Yeah.

That's weird. Forget the afterlife. Get out of that relationship. But I think you got to come clean. Because what's going to happen, you don't come clean, you go to hell. He goes to hell for what he did. Then she's like, he's like, why are you here? And then you'll be honest.

You've got to get, you got to come clean because you're going to get, too cocky and say one of the passages that like eventually he's going to be like are you reciting things from my fucking diary? Yep. And then it's out of your hands. You got to be like, hey, listen, I read your diary and then you can talk about it with them. But what you did was fucked up

too. Yeah. So we're also in the wrong, right? It's a truth. Do you think if someone quoted your diary from like a year ago? I don't think I would know what I wrote. Do you have a diary? No, but every once in a while a journal. I think I got, my journal is always when I'm like I'm on rock bottom.

It's never good. I have one that I've written stuff down in, and I'm like, I should write in this when things are going well, because I'm going to read this in 10 years. And it's only like Monday morning after like the most diabolical weekend of all time. And I'm like, oh, I was not in a great place. I have a few journals from college and I look through it, but I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ. I thought like the world was going to end. Yeah. I wish I would, I wish I documented my whole life like that.

Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. You're going to hell. and us. Yeah. All right, let's hear another one, Andrew. I had dinner with my best buddy, let's call him John, at Hooters. He thought the waitress was into him, so he left his number on the receipt. A few hours later, I texted my other friend, Pete, who John had met for the first time earlier that day, and told him to text John and pretend to be the waitress. John was over the moon and was saying stuff like, my confidence has never been higher. After an hour or so of texting back and forth, Pete asked John to FaceTime. John kept saying, I'm so nervous, what do I say? Took every bone in my body to not laugh. John answered the face time to see Pete's bear ass.

P.S. John and I split $14 nachos at dinner, and I told Pete, I have no idea how John didn't realize he was being catfish when Pete texted him. By the way, I really respected how you picked up those nachos. Am I going to hell? No. That is awesome. You're going to heaven. Yeah, you go to heaven.

The only part that was a bummer was like he said, my confidence has never been higher. Yeah, but you don't know. Yeah, I mean, that just means it's a good prank. That's a good prank. That's a good prank. The worst part is, though, for a brief second, he probably thought that was a woman's ass.

Yeah. And so maybe he got really excited and then realized it was a man's ass. Well, it depends how Harry Pete's ass is. Like, if it was your ass, there'd be no question. Yeah. Mine could be a woman's ass. Well, yours is probably hairy, too. Mine's hairy.

Mine's hairy. You know right away. But it would be weird if, like, he gets the text, looks and just, like, doesn't. He thinks it's. Yeah. He's like, doesn't tell, like, she sent me a photo. Like, he's like, oh, this is getting. Yeah. Like, it was a FaceTime, though.

Oh, you're right. You're right. It was a ass time. If it was my ass, she'd be like, why, or he'd be like, why is this waitress showing me the top of her head? Yeah. Yep. All right. Should we do sayings that don't exist?

Yeah, I'm down for that. Are you done for that, Brett? Yeah. Well, I have a, this guy rocks, actually. Do you have any, like, a funny, like, real or anything? Real? Like, sometimes we share, like, a funny, like, guy we found on, like, the Oh, fuck.

I didn't tell you that, though. No, let me think. Dude, I was, uh, you know those, um, those when you're on reels and it'll be like, POV like New England summer or like, child, whatever. And it was, it's like a bunch of photos. One of them is my fucking, it's a, it's a picture that I don't think I've ever posted on the internet of my bedroom. And my stepmom sent it to me was like, is this your bedroom?

Look at this. Wait, what is this? One of those reels where it was like P-OV, New England summer. Oh. And it was my fucking bedroom. Where did this go? I don't know if I'd say this guy rocks. That's okay.

I mean, look at mine. Play mine. This might contextualize it. Oh yeah, when you have it, do you have slack? Yeah. Slack it to Mr. Beer. What if I mix marijuana into song? Make a peri.

Compe Come Is this Koships, you bear? Yeah. It is. Shit. Without the lyrics, the beat he made, it kind of nailed it.

It is marijuana into sound. It's kind of what marijuana sounds like. Yeah. All right, I love it. He turned off comments. Yeah, well, I sent too many. Yeah. Okay, I want to apologize ahead of time for my this guy rocks but it has it has to it has to be done unfortunately okay pause

this immediately and i mean immediately okay so this is a okay you need to see the beginning but it's a woman churning butter and then this guy stitches it so let's refresh it and take on away no take on everything away oh my god for the record he had

that person who made this had fast forward there was like two to three minutes of build up to where he got to that point but he is

giving it he's fucking cracking that yeah lady right yeah I think so uh sorry about that guys

but I just Had to get that one off my chest I don't know if that guy rocks I think he rocks All right you just slack it to Mr. Beer Okay I just respect this guy That's it

Please stop the music I'm fucking So for the audio listeners It says The devil asked for my soul He handed it back shaking I grinned and said no refunds And it's a picture of like a sexy guy

What do you think he does for a living, brother? That's what I want. I'm scrolling through his thing a little bit here. I think he's like, he seems got to. He's on cameo. Is he on cameo? Oh, yeah. But you have to copy and paste the link.

You can't click it. All right, should we do this guy rocks? Sorry, should we do sayings that I do this? Yes. I'll prepare next time for this guy rocks. No, I like to scroll through some shit. It was better than, it was easier on the eyes than the one Jack made us watch. All right. Do you want to tee it up because I have a couple good ones or have a good one?

These are more sayings that don't exist. Heads in the hands, but the eyes aren't crying. It's when someone's making a big show about being sorry, but in reality they're not. They just are trying to get you to forgive them. Yep. That's great. I like that. I like that. Oh, would you go down the line? I got one. A gold bar is worth nothing to a vending machine. Right?

That's good. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, that's damn good. Washing a window from one side. This is like, if you want to repair a relationship, both people have to be invested. Oh. A person can't do it.

That's fantastic. Mind's racing, but the feet aren't. It's when someone's stressing about something, but they're not actually taking any action to fix it. They're just like freaking out, but you've got to start running at one point. Yeah, I like that. That's great. Thank you.

The price for putting your hand in the cookie jar. It's never just a cookie. That's right. You do something and then the reaction is bigger than what you did. Well, yeah, that's part of it. Totally. I love that. Yeah.

Water only flows one way at a time. You can't do two things that are going to compete with each other at the same time. Sometimes you've got to take your time, do one thing, and then move on to the other. I like it. That's fantastic. Kind of eastern. It's very eastern. Another Eastern thing that I like

Is the The one where there's the bunny Yes Eastern Where are you celebrating Easter Eggs and the The big Bright colors

Pink There's sort of Ham Yeah Could be involved Easter ham Eastern ham The Eastern Bunny.

He's got like Asarion or something. The Eastern. All right. Turn to the page before you read the words. It's when you're having a conversation with someone and they're already moving on before even listening to what you're actually saying.

Yeah, that's great. I like that. You kind of cook today. Yeah, those are good. Thank you, Beast. A wolf doesn't care where you went to college. that's good you know you'll eat you regardless I don't like that you pitch that one though because for us

you know we both went to Boston college so that kind of does matter well wolf doesn't care unless I mean you know you might be worth like you you might be married your town you might be whatever you might think you're you're all this but there's some situations where that currency's not going to matter wolf doesn't care wolf doesn't care where you went to college unless unless you went to Boston college.

Not that hard to add. I know. It's implied. It still flows. It still flows. All right. You got to stack books from the bottom up. You got to do the little thing to get to the big thing.

Can't skip steps. Love that. Stack books in the bottom up. I don't know. I also... Unless you went to Boston College. You know, this is the first time Brett's been on this podcast. Did you know that Brett also went to Boston College?

I did know that to Boston College? I feel like it comes up like all the time More than I'd think Well we just have like sort of like a BC Lingo kind of Yeah We talk

He was in the viral sketch comedy group Hello shovelhead Yeah More of a flea bag fan myself That's fucking fucked up That's uh You should look into their history Can you believe a flea bag?

No They just had Amy Pollard and that's it Yeah I think they've honestly been pretty I had the most Successful podcast out of Boston College For years And then she comes into

scene and she's now number three, I think. Are I number four? Yeah. My pod? No, she's number three overall. Oh, she's like the number three podcasts. Around.

Yeah, but, speaking of which, you guys should listen to Brett's podcast, Lust and Dust. You got to tell them what's about it's. It's kind of an all-time. It's insane. It's my dad after he divorced my mom. Yeah, he wrote a book about all the women he slept with called 28 Second Chances at Love.

And then he gets diagnosed with cancer. It's all real. And instead of stopping the book, he keeps writing the book, but makes it about cancer in the back half. So it's called 28 Second Chances at Love, interrupted by a terrible disease. Is that the full title? That's the full working title. And not to spoil it, but it doesn't get published. Not to spoil the ending.

Yeah, lust to dust. but it's all real and he goes into very intimate detail about the women he slept with and you and your brother read it yeah my brother and it's the first time reading it yeah i do we don't read ahead so i'll read some insane shit oh my god um he uh you know at one point he was he was big on millionaire matchmaker that's kind of where we're at worth him now what is that it was a like a website and that uh you you try to match with other people and he put he said he was a millionaire on I don't think he was actually. And then he kept getting in relationships where he's like, he's like, it was going great until she wanted money.

And I'm like, yeah, you met on Millionaire Matchmaker. But he's got some all-time, all-time lines in there. That is unbelievable. Are you reading it and then talking about it? Yeah, we just read it live and then digest it. God, that's fucking fantastic. Holy shit. He was dating a woman and then they broke up and then she got pregnant with another man.

and then they broke up and my dad got back with her so my dad was dating well she was pregnant yeah another man's baby and uh I remember this I remember walking in our kitchen they were making out and she was so pregnant it looked like prom night

he's on the other side of the room they were like literally like he was like they were like making space for Jesus because she was that pregnant and I was like what is going on? Dude he was kind of on a 28 women what's the timeline of the 28. It wasn't that like

I think he probably did that in like six years. But some of those were cancer years and he was still pulling. Still pulling. Holy shit. Like as I flipped the head like deep in the book, I was like, oh, it's just going to be pure. And it's like, no, he's still getting late.

In a chapter called chemotherapy, there's still a sex scene. I go, what's going on? Oh my God. That's fucking fantastic. That's unbelievable. Holy shit. But yeah, lusted dust. My horny dead. Check it out on anywhere you get a podcast.

Spotify, YouTube, and all that. All right. Well, that's it. Thank you so much for coming on, Brett. Guys, we love you. We'll check you out next week. We're going to check them out next? Check them.

We'll check you out. Peace. Brett, thank you for coming on. That was great. That was fucking old. That was great. I can't believe the holding penis thing. I'm going to...