Will & Rusty's Playdate - what it’s like to drink around catalina island

Episode Date: December 8, 2025

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We're going. Play date. Come on. Let's go. how you doing i am playing with my date come on and today my date is andrew and rusty and today come on let's talk about a new drip i got that rusty dome piece if you're listening on an audio um i'm wearing a hat that says rusty pretty beast pretty beast we got it in catalina yesterday okay so how's catalina catalina was good i am uh hungover yeah i just feel like out

of it but catalina was kind of whack dude it was like off season so there's just no one there we were the only guys partying within a you know how they say it like if you're at point nemo do you know point nemo is it's that part of the ocean where the it's like the furthest you could be from any landmass and like you're closer to the people on the international space station than you are people on the earth which is kind of crazy uh that's what it felt like is that like finding nemo yeah i was gonna say i think they named it because that sounds like you remember that movie about marlin's kid i think they named ellen degeneres they named nemo after that okay but that was we were it was catalina yesterday was the point nemo of partying where we were

closer to people partying in space than people partying anywhere on it was yeah it was pretty grim and there was like a cruise ship i guess that like left halfway through the day and then it was just empty to be fair you guys also went during the day on a tuesday in the winter one of it so i don't know but what the expectation was in our defense in at least on on the winter front we went to this karaoke bar and willie was like hey can we sing um over my head by the fair the guy was like what we're not doing karaoke it was like the whole theme of their bar was like drink dance sing like everywhere he's like we don't do karaoke until february yeah he's like come back in february he's like oh my god i don't have that much time i gotta go work tomorrow yeah

this episode is brought to you by cash app cash app lock my money in a ziploc bag and put it in a vault and put that vault in a safe cash app what is up with work tomorrow i am the i could not like working less than anybody and i have probably the easiest job that's ever existed yeah but we got work tomorrow right that's what i meant i i mean you might i'm i'm so tired so i think i'll probably just set that one out i'm gonna go to uh i'm gonna go to the christmas tree tonight where's that i think the grove oh yeah the grove's pretty this time of year i don't know what that is the grove the um santa monica grove right it's like the mall like the promenade no no no the grove is different the grove's like the grove's like

in the direction of cheesecake factory i believe no sorry you're on your drive past jameson's on your left it's like downtown hollywood yeah now different thing that i'm thinking of what are you talking about the promenade i'm allowed to think about no no no like you're on main street no well no just hear me out you're on main street jameson's on your left you keep driving down that road eventually you'll drive near the grove not the place i'm talking about it's in like mid-city or something that's like brentwood yeah no what is he talking about if you go down different street that's ocean street we're not going to get into the geopolitics Anyway, it's like a 200-foot-tall Christmas tree.

Are you taking your lady? I'm actually taking a different girl. Oh. Yeah. Who? My side ting. If I find out, or found out, because find out implies that it's probably happening. If I ever found out you had a side ting, I would be unbelievably sad.

You'll never find out. Because it won't happen. Yeah. But anyway, what's the urge to have a side taking my girlfriend and her dog? She has a dog now over dog. Yeah. You remember when she used to do that when she was like working for us? Yeah.

That was pretty weird. I actually kind of am on her side now with everything. So yeah, I'm not, you're not catching me shitting on her anymore. Right. So you're not going to be shitting on her anymore. Andrew's just wandering around the studio. He looks like he's like a puppy that looks like he's never been here. It looks like he's never been around.

It's like when you let a dog into the house and it needs to smell every corner of the room before it can settle down. Yeah. I wish that Andrew had a bunch of money for me. How much money do you think Andrew would have? Yeah, how much money do you... How much money do you actually think I could have?

I think that you, as a guy, can have hundreds of dollars. I want Andrew's money. andrew we want your money i honestly don't have a lot okay we'll take whatever you got i do you have enough to like how much do you have throw us a pizza party dude i like don't have any savings anymore it's horrible what happened i spend it all that's fine you got some stuff right i got some money as long as you get like goods or services you like bought like goods or services um mainly services you okay few goods here's a second wait i was gonna serve

what kind of servicing is happening on you like my girlfriend will give me a massage i have to pay pay her yeah on on flan's um on our i wrote her a card for our anniversary and gay on on the at the end it it doubles as a voucher for a year's supply of back scratches wow which i have it seemed very sweet the moment i have regretted she cashed them all in at once she'll be oh my god my arm is my arm has been very sore has anyone clocked your tea recently because i got my tea clocks what does that mean is that like what the kids are saying yeah like is that like like i know i know the drama on you you clock my tea what does that mean like someone i don't know like if i was like tot if i clocked your tea you'd be like damn you

clocked my tea right if i was like you're just how does it look in practice so i was in so there i was in practice i was at the i was at practice and coach is yelling at me why don't we have practice as adults that'd be fun like it doesn't even need to be like sports right i just feel like there is something it's like a nice way to break up the day like i have practice later yeah what is like adult practice like is it like you say throbbing what like like throb and then you i'm throbbing dude i am what is going on today i'm throbbing from practice this happens every time we're hung over and we try to do nonsense for two hours practice is tough

Last night I'm throbbing. Dude, I'm throbbing from practice last night. What? Gross. Yeah, coach was being a real stickler. Dude, my... Oh. What?

I just thought... No, you go. You hit me. When I had practice back in... When I used to play soccer, my coach had a son who had Down syndrome and his name was Graham. You said Down syndrome,

like how like finance guys say finance you were like he had down syndrome yeah that's just in that's just like how i blow vape cloud just disappeared anyway one time graham that's all the time i don't know what happened but he graham had down syndrome grandma dancer and he would come to every practice his whole life or yeah well at least the year i knew him and he was uh he was the man though and uh he One practice, I don't know, he's having a bad day or something, and he took his erect wiener out and started chasing us around the field. Great cardio.

It was great cardio. It was great cardio. That makes you run like your hair is on fire, like a kid with Down syndrome chasing you with a boner. I just remember our coach, Coach Wayne, he's like a British guy. He'd be like, Graham, all night, Graham, come on, Graham. and it's like everyone's like oh my god and uh yeah like it's let's just say i got the cheese touch oh my god the uh the way it's the way that your coach is saying it is like it's like uh yeah

come on it's like kind of a mild inconvenience yeah it's just it's the only thing he's frustrated about is that he's interrupting practice like oh come on we're just getting we just grime we just had that play figured out he's like he's a kid like he's has his knees on his shoulders and he's like oh cram anyway yeah that was gramps humping like a freshman's brains coach wayne taught me everything i knew about soccer you taught me everything i knew i forgot it all i don't remember anything i don't remember dude my our cleaning people put me on the spot today i i didn't know zach spoke spanish and they came in and he's just having a conversation with them in spanish and then the guy like turned to me like you're right like join in and i was like i didn't i don't

remember any of my spanish he was like oh zach can teach you and i was like i'm not gonna sit down with zach and he clocked your tea that's not what that see they clocked my they clocked your tea dude like they called your ass out they clocked your tea who's zach his roommate the goat he i walked in last night after catalina yeah teetering on blacked out drunk and apparently got uh just no one noticed i walked in had like a five minute conversation with them it was like all right all right time for bed i'm gonna hit the hay and then uh and then i asked him this morning i was like can you tell how drunk i was he's like no i didn't even know you're drunk so it's like that is w impressive um you got cut off what he got cut off i did yeah i got cut off

at the bar how many drinks did you guys have like 15 we were eating chicken wings at the last bar and the old buffalo defense here come this is the buffalo defense bro thinks he's khalil mack i i ordered a beer with buffalo sauce all over my fingers and she was like can i see your id and i kind of hit like a emote like what like what should i do like what there's buffalo sauce so i stood up and i said like can you grab my wallet to lucas and i apparently the way edge said this edge edge said it was it was told to him as if i asked the waitress to take my wallet out of my pocket and then that's why she like thought i was harassing her and so she cut me off but i was like wait no she's you're harassing her she just when she brought the drink over she

brought to caleb and then when he grabbed it she was like whoa it's for him he can't drink anymore yeah she had no conviction and then we were just like oh okay and then she was like it wasn't like they didn't like kick us out or like it wasn't like a big deal yeah i just uh his defense was i don't know if it was the buffalo sauce but i think it's my eyes i think if i wore if i wear sunglasses you can't tell i'm that drunk so caleb was telling me that you kept asking the waitress if she wanted a back massage and that's why they cut you off? No, back shots.

Oh, back shots. No, he said front massage. He wanted front shots. He was asking for front shots. He was chasing her around the restaurant with buffalo sauce in my hands going, do you want a front massage? Whatever happened to fruit salad?

I feel like that was a way bigger part of my life. You know what? I don't fuck with macaroni salad. But you know what I love is potato salad. Yeah, your head ass loves potato salad. Irish head ass. I just call it salad. you gave me that head ass there was one time i went to this irish bar in college yeah and uh

i guess i kind of thought like the potato family you're gonna you're gonna try and fiddler's green me i invented the fiddler's green what is that no is that the name of the bar continue with your story no you already know what i'm gonna say what did you do i was gonna say you got kicked out of you got banned from bar for 30 days 30 days because i made a joke about the potato family yeah when i was growing up there were two things that were unpopular in my house me and my guitar what's that from bruce springsteen i think said it yeah yeah i got a guitar for my like sixth grade birthday and uh remember not being very good at it spotify rap came out today yes it did andrew's number one

artist was miguel de cervantes de cervantes apparently he's just been listening to don quixote it was uh my number one artist was don quixote who don quixote oh i love his stuff yeah when i lived in spain sorry one thing uh i i i my friend alvaro and his dad were taking me to a valencia basket game against real madrid i actually think luco i looked it up and luca was on that team from real madrid you told us yeah yeah but we were on the way i was about to leave and they're like well it's been great getting to know you i was like leaving spain they're like we got you this and they gave me a copy of don quixote it's like a gift and they were like it's the i think there's like a longer version or something they were like it's like the

shorter version that's kind of been like adapted or something and i meant to say like oh that's great thank you but i said uh oh great not as bad or something like i whatever i said was like the like i basically suggest yeah i like mistranslated it and was basically like oh thank god not as bad because it's the shorter one and um they were pretty rattled i want to i seemed ungrateful for their gift and that is something i've borne with me for the rest of my life i'm trying to donkey hote so my spotify wrapped was who were your top five artists yeah mj lenderman i was the number 138 listener mj lenderman in the world okay skylar was number 48 no way i know i thought my brother was number like 300 or something skylar was skylar's number 48 he listens to it

in a performative way yeah i listen to it in like a you listen to it in like a whoa i'm seeing out the sunroof like in the next 48 hours i'm seeing three of my top five okay mj landerman waxahatchee i'm seeing them too on friday and then um the 1975 and then rainbow kitten surprise and then audrey hobert snuck in the five spot nice late push because her album came out in like august yeah but i'm seeing her tomorrow i'm so fucking pumped where is it at uh the el rey theater i saw videos from she just did her first show like this is her second concert she's ever done oh she's starting in la she started in san francisco last night so this is her second show okay but it's gonna be really fun and then the band i'm seeing on friday is did i already talk

about this yes yeah it's a it's a band mj london mj london is just the drummer in it what what are you and dylan gonna do on saturday gamble party ask me about my spotify rep okay who is your top five artists mac demarco w jimmy buffett elliot smith yep ollie williams who's ollie williams uh he's like a like a reggae guy that i like and then um and then oasis I feel like we both had pretty predictable Wait what's the Ollie Williams song That was in my Can you pull up his discography

That is the guy from Family Guy It's gonna rain You've already done this one too Who was your actual number four Number four was actually Oasis and then Fleetwood Mac got it i feel like i maybe i'm gonna make an effort in 2026 maybe to listen to some other

other things because i kind of it's been those five for like the last three years yeah i had a did you like getting family guide was that something that you enjoyed is that something would you like to would you like to keep getting things like that i you know like speaking of dylan gossett i got him a present he just announced he's having a kid yep did I tell you about this future podcaster yeah I got him a onesie

that says future podcaster did you make it like personally I got it no I found it like on Etsy no but I can't who was like the market I feel like there's like a 5%

she had to like show up to him he's like what the fuck no he'll think that's funny no wait is it a girl or a guy I don't weird way to ask about like well what if they can't wear a onesie

cause of cock cause of like cock and balls wait you're the first guy ever to be like is it a girl or a guy about a baby i feel like it's usually i'm not the first guy is it a man or a woman yeah is it is it a man or a woman i well i don't know i don't know who either of you guys are this is me like soft launching but i don't know who you guys are or something your friend your friend hit his head super hard before yeah i don't know who either of you guys are you guys anyway ollie williams what were you saying how am i supposed

to know who ollie williams is like how am i supposed to know that this ollie williams would be a sick name for like a skateboarder yeah it's like those guys that were like put on earth like their name is what they do yeah oh like tim duncan exactly whoa i've never even thought about that really i think about it constantly what about um who else has like a who else has a perfectly tony hawk yeah that doesn't really fly can you look up like people whose names are their profession what would be like a funny one oh oh like uh tom plumber yeah would be so good chiropractor is dr mccracken we have a cat scan tech named katherine scan oh that's pretty funny huh dr miss fish there's a urologist in toledo named dick tapper

why if you're in medical school and then your buddy was like i'm going to become a gynecologist and he's a guy i feel like that's weird right i feel like that's a lady's profession i want to hear more about what were the repercussions for the kid with down syndrome chasing you with his erect penis no i was kind of just it yeah it was just one of those like yeah i mean obviously this isn't good but it's like what are we gonna do yeah it was a where were you moment where were you i he was he was a very nice man i hope gran's grandma's doing well we we were the rossoneri was our team name the rossoneri rossoneri which is italian for red and black that's what they call ac milan nice what is your what was your spotify rap tender my number one was um they

might be giants what is that you never heard of they might be giants they do istanbul not constantinople no it's oh yeah we just talked about yeah yeah yeah these guys uh they were my number one uh who were your actual what was your actual one i think diddy was two hey fucker hey fuck face okay all right god forbid a white we need a straight man on this pod a white boy emotion stays in motion my boy emotion stays in motion uh my number one was dominic fike my number two was childish gambino my number three was the strokes my number four was bad sons my number five was tate mccray do you think there are any guys out there who like we're listening to a lot of david at the beginning of the year and we're like making a push to like

listen to like do you think is david even a real person people listen to yeah i had a bunch of songs that i liked by david that i did unlike i only knew the one like if you're if you're the song the one on tiktok i wish i knew uh i wish you're with me who sings that song david i could go for i could go for a pandemic right now just a quick little two weaker like what covid was supposed to be oh you remember how lit that was just playing xbox every day yeah i i didn't like all the uh like deaths no the masks yeah if they ever try if the government ever tries to make me wear a mask again i'll fucking commit seppuku on the steps of the capitol if they if they that shit was so hard to do are you being are you joking you're being serious i'm joking i i kind

of liked it because there was a pie stand near my house that also sold like bespoke masks oh like one of one kind of cool cloth manor masks yeah and so i had like the coolest masks in school i had cool masks what i didn't like was when we the n95s those aren't fun but i had this like the air tube on the side no like the n95 masks the one that's a the one that's a luke i am your father well i am your stepfather well i am your stepfather well that was like crazy well that was kind of cool was it good good yeah it was really good well i am your stepfather i didn't like them trampling on our basic human rights right i'm gonna get one with that's like uh it's a american flag on one side and it's burning and then on the other side it says

fuck around and find out yeah or it says it says i'm jacking off under this mask i i'm jacking off under here that was a problem in my high school man jacking off under your mask yeah the kids can get in trouble for jacking off under their covid masks it was a real problem that one of the teachers got fired because they caught her jacking a kid off under their covet oh my god my freshman year college i took a class called from black lives matter to me to race and representation in the african diaspora and it was a double class it was like six credit class it was like i went every day and it was like ever that sounds terrible no it was actually genuinely one of the one of the best

class i think i ever took because the biggest thing that i like took away was kind of what you're saying was like day one it's like oh i was like scared i was like nervous to speak up in the class or like raise my hand because i was like i don't want to like i'm i'm i don't want to say something wrong and i'm like in the minority and then i was like oh my god this is just how minorities feel in 99 of settings where i feel completely comfortable because i'm a straight white dude like i really i really was like oh fuck this is like i was like at first i was like oh i hate that classic i feel so nervous to like speak up and then i was like wait that's like yeah the point willie seems like the type of guy that like dressed up in like

the african shirt and pants and going up going up to like black families homes and like going on one knee and being like i'm so sorry for my ancestors like during that like one week phase of covid have you seen that white guy that like tries to join in on the he's completely joking but he joins like the black israelite like um they like get up with the microphones and like if they see a black guy with like a white girl they like get mad at him whatever and he thinks he's pretending that he thinks that he's one of them so he'll be like fuck the white man and they're like no sorry like they have to like wait he's a white dude pull up like white guy joins black israelites clayton bingsby

what i don't know i just i had a feeling it like made sense druski too funny i'm gonna say that druski too funny he unfolded on tiktok druski yeah he followed you on tiktok yeah he only follows like 40 people now but we were friends for a minute have you seen you know i'm talking about clayton bixby the like dave chappelle thing he's a clan he's a blind guy and he's a clan leader but he's he doesn't realize he's black have you seen that that white supremacist find out he's like 14 black no no that's pretty funny can you pull it white supremacist finds out he's black yeah this guy

that kind of happened in real life except the white supremacist we're talking about he's not even blind check this out craig cobb craig paul cobb has undergone dna testing to determine genetic ancestry 86 percent european and give it to him give it to him 14 sub-saharan africans wait a minute wait a minute wait look up the look up clayton bigsby takes his mask off on youtube do you think that i there's a chance i could be a little bit black i i mean you you got that you got something in your step

up your heart and let that hate out we want to see your face who said that you want to see my face go on brother you want to see my face don't be afraid don't be afraid the guy's head explodes

let me show you that Liam oh my god no that's like the classic you ever watch the Chappelle show he was the classic one

I like the one where they're like interviewing people on the street and they're like what's the craziest thing you ever did in college and she was like

oh one time I had like a three way with these two guys in a fraternity and my sorority sisters were like cheering me on and they go, what about you?

And they ask like the girl's like boyfriend and he goes, well, probably having unprotected sex with gang bang over here. Yeah. We're done.

He goes, we're broken up. We're done. Oh my God. Wait, what is that from? It's like a man on the street interview.

Oh, it's from Chappelle show? Yeah. Yeah. It's a sketch. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I only heard about a um i only heard about two like devil's three ways when i was in college and that always seemed crazy to me i don't think i've ever heard of it i've never i saw uh without giving too much we were at a friend's house and he had this huge backyard and we went in the backyard and a girl we knew and two guys we knew were doing that and then another guy was sitting watching smoking a cigarette that was pretty weird it's college man everyone is doing that would be the saddest thing to find out about your husband or wife that they were doing that uh that she had a three-way

one time with two guys yeah i think that would be like devastating no or really or vice like if i was a girl and i found out my husband was like doing three ways with two with another guy i just feel like if it's a if it's a if it's a three-way and it's two girls and one guy all parties are innocent if it's a three-way where it's one girl and two guys for some reason that feels like ickier to me um uh do you remember do you remember temptation island that one guy was like obsessed with having yeah three way in the shower yeah yeah what was his name again he was like addicted to having three ways like dre yeah i mean as far as addictions go that one's pretty great what about um meth would you rather be addicted to meth or three ways three ways oh speaking of

three ways wait had some skyline dip that that has got to be the hardest addiction because like there's supply of like to get to scratch that itch is like almost impossible it's like that'd be like addicting to addicted to like seeing bigfoot like three ways yeah it's just like i can't go do that whenever i'm sure you can find like a guy and a girl feel the same way yeah do you think how quickly do you think you could assemble a three-way if you needed to in a pinch oh zero seconds say let's just say this i don't think i'd have to leave the room

oh my god yeah i mean that would be a logistical nightmare the three of us and no one else because there just aren't there aren't enough uh we can make it work too many keys not enough locks you know what i'm saying there's enough locks you just gotta get creative i see two in front of me sometimes you gotta break down the door oh my god don't be afraid to break down the door what do you guys think oh do you think okay here's what i was thinking about we were thinking about like we were talking about on that boat yesterday about like being like the explorers who like found new worlds oh my god yeah like in my mind i'm i'm sitting here thinking like if i lived in the olden days i would have gone out and explored stuff because that seems like so fucking

cool but is that the equivalent of now being like an astronaut yeah like i have never even once considered actually being an astronaut yeah well the bar to entry feels lower for an or higher for i think a lot of guys like back then you would have seen a lot of guys do it and just never come back that would probably yeah i guess like astronauts like you can't just like go to space yeah yeah you need like people backing you yeah and then it was just like if you had something that floated you could figure it out are these your sunglasses no those are sean's i want to say i saw a thing that was like i could have discovered everything first too if i was alive like during newton's time like i could have discovered gravity we would have because you

wouldn't have been able to like prove it because the thing is like he had the idea but they also knew how to do math like we're all like yeah dumb guys like they like didn't uh newton invent calculus i think he invented it to prove that he was right yeah so it was like i can barely do math that already exists he was inventing new math i did see another thing that was like men did greater things when it was hard to see boobs i don't think it was harder really i mean obviously with the internet but i'm saying like in person it was probably easier you don't think you've seen like more boobs than like all your generations i've seen more boobs in one sitting than who was i i think liam and i were talking about it's like how many generations

of your family do you go back before they've seen more boobs than you've seen that's what i'm saying so i've seen what i'm asking 20 000 sets so 40 000 40 000 individual boobs yeah and my dad what are we talking about how many boobs you've seen 20 000 sets of boobs probably right on the internet oh there's so many out there i know i don't close my eyes i close my eyes and think i want i only watch through like shutter shades you know what's really hard to do with shutter shades go to space what did you guys do in catalina did you guys just go from bar to bar and drink we went we showed up we got off we went to the pancake breakfast we went to the pancake breakfast then we just hit the ground running drinking that who's high video that just came out is so

funny in hindsight it's so clear andrew's high when you're watching it from really yeah i guess we know yeah watching it back i think it's the funniest one of the funnier ones we've made that's good you can see me like gripping the chair like i'm like you just you were so high that you were saying things and doing things that only someone who is pretending to be high would be doing you were like how a cartoon character would be high drano but in hunt that is so funny now knowing that he's yeah yeah i need to watch it i'm excited you watched the whole yeah thinking about andrew's thought process of like that should have made us all laugh so hard what thought process like putting drano down as your snack no i needed it for my house like i

just wanted something oh you were like oh just free your free yeah i was like one less thing on my grocery bill yeah one less thing to worry about but no did you see in my interviews i was like yeah i think rusty making fun of me just like brought back a lot of childhood trauma like when i tried to be funny and people shut me down and like i just i went on like a whole tangent they only used like a snippet of it but i just like went on and on about childhood trauma and stuff and i was like i told tanner i was like make it less sad yeah wait you had one thing where you were like i'm seeing the i'm seeing the group through like with a new perspective that i didn't before like what did you see in us i was like these aren't my homies anymore and they cut me

off these are not my boys they have cut me off completely from the group i'm not a part of this you know that's not true yeah well i did i felt it when i was high it was funny going back and watching because it's like that's not how i perceived any of that at all like i was like it felt totally different you work with us i know but when you're high like you aren't thinking straight no but seriously you cope you're one of our co-workers you are one you're one of my co-workers i really mean that that is actually a bit i stole from you have i told you this yet no um because you always do the bit when like everyone's like laughing and you go you'll go you guys are my co-workers dude that's why you're one of my co-workers that's why you're one of my

co-workers when'd you use it uh just like out with my friends say co-workers yeah husband and doing she's great um i saw her last weekend how often do you guys get to see each other once a month we try to make a trip either she'll come here or i'll go there but we watch secret lives of mormon wives for the entire weekend and now it's my entire feed on tiktok and is that where all your savings went is secret lives of mormon no traveling to see your girlfriend that's so expensive i'll have to go back i like keep a budget do you guys keep budgets i try and then i just i just abandoned it immediately i'm not very good about that now the second i get the second i get any money i think i'm the richest man that's ever existed

and then a week later i go oh my god i'm barely gonna be able to pay for drop an 8k at the strip club that happened one time and i that i actually don't regret that i think everyone needs to not to that scale but i think everyone needs to have one reckless abandonment abandonment abandonment night do you know you can go to the strip club and take the money this episode is brought to you by cash app i if you know anything about me you know i'm a trusting man and i always assume the best in people and sometimes that means

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that's a real thing that guys do won't they kick you out no i think you're just like you don't you can't do it's kind of like club penguin when you don't have a membership it's like you technically can be there but you're probably not gonna be able to do any of the fun stuff yeah your puffles aren't gonna be no your puffles are matted yeah have you guys ever been to um what are those like sexy like lingerie shows called like a burlesque show burlesque yes no i've never been to a burlesque probably gonna take lauren to one this guy there and i went are you really yeah she loves that she loves that stuff she's really into like burlesque oh you should take her down to that ad we always see when we're in vegas it's like down thunder down under down under and it's like the

it's like australian magic mike these guys are jackhammers or for girls i guess skylar and i went to naked wrestling one time that was pretty weird was it like guys new orleans it was guys and girls and so we showed up like guys against girls sometimes sometimes girls against guys sometimes sometimes girls against girls guys against guys it was super weird um and they're like oiled up and it was just at a bar so like everyone was just sitting there most people like weren't even really watching it was just happening in the corner that was very strange um i i had heard about when i was in amsterdam a couple of my friends went to a sex show and i heard that's very strange would you ever go to one of those not with lizzo right yeah

didn't you make her that kind of like canceled her like i haven't heard from her since uh she lost like 300 pounds i think which is cool hope she finds them what do you what do you so she can buy something in london does everyone is everyone hard at a sex show or it's like an art installment i can only speak for myself but about three quarters a three-quarter chub oh um no i don't i've been on my walking grind recently that's my new thing i uh do going through it when you start going on walks no mine's like mine's like a we go on walks you know that song i do like i do like a cousin walk every day you know what i'm saying you get high and going on no i don't i just wanted to sound

cool but i went on a walk this morning with z and we went on my normal route and it is much more enjoyable when you're with someone it's not like kind of being alone when i'm walking i usually do too but it's like strenuous like i'm like because i'm walking super fast so i get my legs get tired and i get kind of sweaty but when i was with a friend today i didn't even notice i was getting sweaty and sore because the friendship overtook me i think i've gained 500 pounds in the last seven days i am i have been going through a similar thing over the last month i have i put at some point i put on 10 pounds and usually i can take off five of that when i focus and i've just been stuck at like 193 for the last couple days probably fine but i need

something needs to fundamentally change i just haven't i've been chubby for the last like three years and it's been kind of bumming me out something's not working i redownloaded my fitness pal and that is kind of problematic because then here's the problem i think i've already talked about this my brain it's the same thing that happens with my credit card app where i think just because there are calories like left to be had i should have those if that you're referring to the maximum on your credit card yes yeah there's something like seriously wrong with my brain um sorry you told me your maximum it's incredibly low it's incredibly low yeah i don't understand why yours is so low you know because

they don't they don't trust me andrew yeah they think i'm a bad guy you hit it they think i'm a bad guy what do you do when it's when you hit it like i just pay it down to zero and then just start over again oh okay you paid early i pay it more than i'd like to admit damn i spend a lot of money on things that are uh dumb i'm not a very smart guy i think is what i'm getting at when it comes to financial literacy i'm reading at like a second grade level i don't understand where your money's going because i feel like you your rent's not that bad my rent's super cheap i say so actually the problem is the cook i don't cook oh you cook with flame i don't you make chicken parm you have like a my world famous my world famous chicken parm you made burgers i made

when did i make burgers at the cookout thing and you didn't get one okay still kind of an open wound but uh oh yeah uh yeah i did actually i didn't even get to make them either i got to take part zero the only thing i contributed was buying them i didn't get to flip one of them i didn't get to taste one barely got to look at you wanted to flip one i don't know man probably better than nothing right would you get closure if we like redid the whole thing and you got a burger yeah i got nathan for you yeah i want to do like a do-over okay but that would be so sad like hey everyone come to will's house jack has to like redo that night what about the holdovers you guys ever seen that movie no so good yeah can we do can we do let's do jeopardy no no people

hated that did you guys not read the comments no you know what was funny people hated did they really yeah you know what's funny i forgot to screen record that episode so i had to reenact it the whole thing that is brutal yeah um right yeah i don't feel bad about that i like doing it and um that one is it's kind of like the old rule like one for them one for me two for them one for me two episodes of podcasting for them one is strictly for us i'll tell you about the holdovers you know what they say about the holdovers two for you one for me how which one do i get paul jamaadi how is your girlfriend what was her name again laurence oh laurie how is laurence laurence lawrence what's the question how is she yeah how is she she's like really really bad she's in a lot

of pain she's do you guys ever like sit back and be like this is insane that that this worked out i was looking for like i feel like if i feel like if that if i like if that happened not with lawrence specifically but like if that happened to me we're like you were friends with someone for that long and then you started dating i feel like i would just be like laughing the whole time I was looking up like a text. I was trying to find something in my text and I found like an old text conversation of the three of us from like two years ago. And I was like, oh, that's kind of funny.

What did it say? You, I think you, I don't know. You really, it was, you said something about her body. I don't know. What? I'm kidding. Oh my God. That's crazy.

No, I don't know. But yeah. Did you ever hook up with a friend before that? Like, is that ever happening around you? Um, I mean, I, yeah, I hooked up with a friend, but I liked her like the whole time we were friends. Yeah. well you know guys like guys guys can't be friends with girls that they're not attracted to

everyone knows that do you think that's true do you think no i think it's totally possible but i think both of you in the back of your head are like we're gonna we both want to rip each other's clothes off really i don't really have any i've never really had any like girlfriends that i'm like completely platonic with really you're kind of you're kind of putting yourself in a bad spot i don't really have any girlfriends yeah i guess lauren i guess they're like family my girlfriend yeah what about i think they're like family wait what what lauren was like a co-worker that's completely different you wouldn't consider lauren a friend you guys hung out all the time pervert i guess i was thinking like high school and college um do you want to know a fun thing

that uh fun like uh what's it called like willie like kind of predicting the future the first time we met lauren he told me he was like oh my god lauren's so beautiful and i was like i know and then they and then they worked out he called your shot you're like babe you call your shot i'm like babe roof like babe babe roof pointing at the shingle before he does it babe roof he's like super distracted he's pointing the wrong way he's pointing like back up at the at the roof wait why like there's like the roof above like home plate and he's like facing the wrong way like pointing his bat i was thinking i was thinking babe roof is like a roofer and he like points at the shingle the empty shingle before he called his shingle babe roof like

like predicted that he was gonna foul tip it into the into like the press box yeah he's just pointing behind him that'd be kind of i'd almost be more impressive babe roof i mean what the fuck is that i always think it's nice when like you know you were attracted to your partner like right off the get-go like i don't think i would have liked if like i eventually caught feelings right because then it's like what yeah what is that what was i missing yeah because then i think the rest of my life i'd be like why wasn't i initially attracted to her but or like the other way around like when they when girls are talking about their boyfriends and they're like yes he was so interested and like i was not at all yeah oh my god yeah i think travis hunter's like wife

yeah i thought he was so ugly when i met him and you're like damn yeah it's like your grandpa being like when i'm when i was courting your grandmother i used to like hang out outside hang outside of her bushes i hung my underwear on a stake in a front yard every day until the cops figured out it was me i crapped under a doormat and smeared on her window this is for you back in my day if you wanted to show a woman you can't you you uh you hung yourself from her gutters by underwear have you ever seen that video where the guy's like fuck her right in the pussy he's here right now bring him out can you imagine yeah whatever hack so those were clearly i think the first one may have been real and then he just

kept doing he kept like i think they were all staged did you see the video where they're like like the pre-video with like setting it up no oh you ever seen that news guy getting attacked by a bee oh doesn't he say like a bad word pull that up pull up news guy getting attacked by a bee what really happened on that thursday here at augusta high school that led to chris wood's death the fuck is that shit I'm dying in this fucking country ass fucked up town

shit flying in my mouth the fuck I can't see and let's get the fuck out of this country motherfucker I can't see me isn't that pretty good that is good have you seen the video did you have a plan

after college if like this didn't work out um i mean i have a college degree well like what was your plan in college like what was what were you this happened when i was like a sophomore so it was like so you weren't even thinking about post-college yet no i was like when you picked your major were you like oh i i would be um i think i was like i mean if i'm being honest i was probably just not thinking very i mean business business management i'm a leader of men so if any like groups of men needed leading i could probably step up and do that pretty well um i think i probably would have like tried and failed to do like banking like business banking or something i don't know i was not i'm not i'm not a um i'm not a good i'm not like good

it like i remember being in the classes and just being like i'm learning nothing yeah about baking i think i would be a day i i think i probably would have tried to start my own business and failed what would it be my dad started a t-shirt company uh and he calls that his mba because he lost all his money and he learned everything he knows about business what was a t-shirt company when he was in college he would provide all the t-shirts for like clubs fraternities sororities stuff like that and like got really good at it and was like making a killing for a college kid like probably had like paid for all his beers and stuff and it saved a good amount and then moved out to california was like i'm gonna start i think it was like a surf wear

mostly t-shirt thing and uh and was out ran out of money in six months was in a really tough spot apparently was like selling speakers or something he was like i think it was illegal like he was like selling these guys would give him speakers and he'd go it was like he was super weird and then he called wells fargo every day for six months and then they finally hired him and he was fine but he was like he was he had a dog he was like all my money went to like dog food and pb and j's he had the same dog from senior high school and through when i may have been alive when i died whoa yeah but in i mean he i think he already had a kid when he was my age they were people were popping them out early i would love to pop one out i think i'd be a fantastic dad

right now over thanksgiving i met my great aunt how'd that go for the first time as i was a kid did she say anything problematic no it was fun though she's 96 and she kind of just told us all the stories that she could remember which were pretty funny like she was a pretty funny yeah woman um she told us about one time she was mad that she had to sit in the middle seat of one of the cars so she threw herself like out of the car and her siblings were too scared to tell their parents so they didn't know for about an hour they were like driven an hour all the way and then they were like were her parents blind and deaf that's what i don't know or maybe they had a limousine and they had the thing up yeah the partition up yeah the cars

were so loud back then your kid could fly out the window back in my day back in my day one time i got a big uh cold brew from dungan donuts and i was so wired no i had it on the roof of my car in my college dorm jesus christ oh my god i just died that was like an exorcist this one time this one time i got a cold brew from dunkin donuts so wired i got a cold brew from dunkin donuts i've had my roof and i drove away with the window my windows were down and it was like a big hill right outside of dorm and the dunkin donuts large cold brew fell off of the roof landed straight on the windowsill and like shot the top off and into the car so the whole cold brew just like

like soaked me and i was like and i was so embarrassed that i just drove away and uh was there a part of i was like in the middle of campus like kids were walking to class and everything i was just like go go go was there a part of you when like the windshield was covered in like brown liquid that you thought it was like a new type of rain no i knew exactly what it was it smelled and tasted like cold brew it was everywhere my friend keen fam is convinced that one time he was driving with his window down and he threw up and he said that the throw up went around his car and came back in the passenger side your friends and landed in the page was he driving backwards your friend and forwards your friend your friend's car was was flipping over

yeah he said there's something with like physics where like apparently the wind will like go around the car in a way that it can make like a circular motion wait he's saying like in the cabin of the car he like matrixed it and it like stopped in time he's saying that he threw up out the window it went around his car like around the back and then came back in the passenger side i don't think that's possible that's not possible i know someone who got puke on them though on one of those rides where it's like you stick to the wall and it spins like this oh yeah and someone puked and it just like i guess just like splattered what was the didn't someone someone was on one of those ones where it goes it rocks back and forth like this like it's like a seahorse or something and someone

threw up at the peak and it stayed there and then someone like flew into it they said it was like sitting there and they just saw it coming and it just like met them wait hold your tongue and say i was born on a pirate ship i was born on a pilot ship i don't get that it's supposed to sound like pile of shit i think my brother used to do when i was little like prank me i was born on a pile of shit oh wait do you want to do you want to see i think i said pile of shit have you seen the one where you like all right lay on your lay on your stomach like with your head towards your microphone and then grab your ankles uh head up sorry okay and now say but in my cum or sorry but my income backwards

come in my butt oh my god we have like people visiting the office they're like they're gonna peek in when you're on the pod come in my butt all right i don't get it all right what's the prank then they're like all right we're gonna cancel the sponsorship they just walk out right then and there i mean that could not have been a worse time for them to pick it it seemed like they liked it yeah i don't know did you guys get your secret santa's yet i sent out the i have a great email oh i don't know who mine is i haven't looked mine is don't say it i know i uh did you get yours yeah i did i was so mad so i've it took me so long to like get everyone's email and like all the names and

make sure i didn't miss anyone sent out the thing and then two seconds later zan slacked me and goes hey when's the secret santa i was like come on man and so i had to like rework everything and i figured it out but he also now he's like hey can i let you know tomorrow if i'm ready secret santa is it's a nightmare it's the only thing i care about in this world the only thing i love more than juan soto is my ridge wallet come on ridge wallet and i like it the same couple of reasons all right let me hear i'm gonna i'm gonna draw some comparisons right here okay dependable trustworthy aluminum titanium and carbon fiber lifetime warranty rfid blocking technology over 100 000 five-star reviews it's a game changer guys it holds up to

12 cards plus cash right or they both hold up juan soto and the ridge wallet both hold up to 12 cards plus catch plus catch plus catch plus catch for him guys holiday travel can be stressful with that tracker card you are going to know where your wallet is at all times before you start to panic don't give a gift that's just going to end up in the junk drawer okay give something that will find its way into your travels your adventures your morning routines and guys for a limited time ridge is having their huge holiday sale head to ridge.com to get up to 47 off your order this is by far the biggest discount they've given all year that's ridge.com for up to 47 off your order during their biggest sale of the year after you purchase they'll ask you where you heard about

them please support our show and tell them we sent you let's get back into the episode folks i just call it frames but you might know it as aura frames come on i just set up my aura frame after our last episode i set it up in the sketch wing yep and i had it shuffled through my favorites and it's very funny i go in there and it's just like something some random photo of me when i was a kid or something willie has been a little bit of a prankster with his aura frame he's been putting uh silly photos on there for me to find which i've been enjoying i got one for my grandma and my girlfriend uh who are two separate people but and they both are stoked on it was so easy because you just download you download the app there's a qr code on the back you scan it you load all

the photos in so when they set it up it's already ready to go they just plug in it's ready ready to rip and it's like the perfect because it's personal but it's not too over the top right i feel like it's kind of the ideal uh christmas gift so i know i will be dishing out a few and i hope you do the same and for a limited time save on the perfect gift by visiting oraframes.com to get 35 off or as best-selling carver mat frames named number one by wire cutter by using promo code playdate at checkout that's a u r a frames.com promo code playdate this deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast so order yours now to get in time for the holidays support the show by mentioning us at checkout terms and conditions apply let's get back into the episode

all right we're back we were just recording and then 30 executives from an alcohol company came in right after they when they looked in the window willie was on his stomach saying come in my butt so i'd say this part that is how you make a deal this yeah they were like where do we sign i art someone put someone put trump's or i figured out who it was but i came into my office today and there's like a new coffee table in there and there's like shit there's like new stuff and one of trump's books was on my desk and i was like okay obviously i don't want this so i went like propped it up on lucas's desk and it kind of like made its rounds apparently lawler had found it and wrote like he did like the epstein style note where he like drew like a woman's body

and then wrote like too rusty like you and i share a secret or something and i just never opened it uh yeah so if you guys are at home and you're wondering how do i ink a deal you're gonna want to wait until their whole team is here yeah and then get on your belly and say come in my butt and they're gonna go uh we were let's actually make it a four million dollar deal let's give everyone here a million dollars i would like to buy a podcast and replace them with us we should do like the the is that anything is that is that a deal did i make did i did i just ink a deal do you have any money good question you got any money hey i love you guys you got money you got money for old daddy oh let's play let's play who got that money do you guys ever get told you look

like someone each other will what uh like we used to people would be like i thought these were the same guy i think they just get us confused because they're all the same thing i get i get told that like kyle rittenhouse yep i think i've lost some weight so i think that's helped with the coward i'm beating the allegations more lately i i never uh never realized like how fit you were getting until you look at a picture of you from like a year ago it's not that you were fat you just like 14 yeah i know it is weird it does look like you just like hit puberty you just had like a you just had like a baby face yeah it's gotten longer this way uh do you think that's what happened or did you i've lost like 25 pounds holy shit okay what were you like 200 oh my lord and now i'm

177 or something that's beast yeah is that from running yeah i was thinking about maybe getting into biking i think maybe that's more more my speed that could work i could play real night do i have to get like a road bike or can i just get like what you have you could get whatever you want but if you're doing it for like sport i would get like something with i don't think i'm gonna get like i don't think i'm gonna be in like tights yeah or should i feel like maybe like that that would be like kind of the move like to go full tilt the other way i was also thinking maybe about getting a peloton but i just i know i think maybe that is the answer was it has to be expensive so that i will keep i will keep using it a peloton i think i can go both ways because then you just

feel worse when you stop right right hmm yeah i don't know if that's true like a more expensive purchase will do you use it what's the cheapest way to like what's the cheapest way to lose like 15 pounds run run run is the best way to like burn body fat is it really how much running depends on how much you want to burn any amount is a good place to start so like if i run like a mile a day yeah that'd be great where i lose weight yeah that sounds easy enough is runner's face a real thing though i'm really worried about runner's face what is that pull up runner's face i've never is that what i got apparently no no apparently it's like like like you have to do it for like years and years and years

runner's face is a term describing the potential yeah like your face like becomes like like gaunt and droopy imagine because it's the constant like bouncing apparently huh i don't know i gotta start walking okay now pull up runner's crotch i had runner's crotch the other day what is going on what are you talking about like in the crease of my leg was like red i was like i haven't been doing anything it looks like i ran like a marathon runner's cock pull up runner's cock no don't please don't type that do it no it will show penis no it won't google can show penis oh oh my god have you seen that guy in the hurdles wait watch yeah that video is so yeah watch this have you seen the guy at the nfl combine he has whole cock and balls fall in his

defense they put them in like spandex yeah they're grown out they're grown ah man um what's the what's the number one trend on twitter right now at my buddy's high school um he one of the years they made the yearbook they didn't realize that this cross-country kid's dick was out in one of the photos and they printed all the yearbooks with it and they were handing them out one kid discovered it and they were trying to like take the yearbooks back wait was the kid like sneaky nutsing or like it was a complete accident it was a complete accident it had like fallen because you know like cross-country shorts are short yeah and so it had completely like fallen out of his shorts did he like sue the school i would be mortified i don't know what happened but like

there's still people with like copies of that yearbook do you think if that guy's somebody at that point nuts do you have the yearbook do you guys think that that was not hot do you think you're gonna have to pay for it but here's the thing my life would be over in high school if a picture of my penis came why it was just like it was not for anyone else's eyes but mine it was green i was i it was green if i was it had a fingernail like it had a nail like the way a finger or toe does it has like a nail part of it at the top um is that normal if i was naked in high school it was it was pitch black oh like if you're like hooking up with someone yeah that's funny do you still do that no i haven't had like pitch black guessing in a while but i never cared

about my wiener i just hated my body mine was mostly my body but the wiener did not help yeah i just had i remember we were when i was pledging my fraternity i told you about the naked polaroid thing that peter did peter had an art project where he took we we were all naked in different things but like things would be conveniently hiding you're blocking your penis from the camera and there was a kid in my fraternity who had a large penis and being like I didn't even know that that existed in real life

you know what I mean yeah no I remember when I was in Spain we would all shower together and there was a guy they called El Toro oh my god there was this one kid who just had a massive penis I remember seeing him be like hell of a point guard

the hockey kids when I was in high school got called into the principal's office because the backup goalie had told his mom that he was tired of everyone peeing on each other he was like it had gotten out of it like in the shower apparently they were like you'd see how long you could be having a conversation with a guy and you'd be like peeing on his leg what well you're in the you're getting your it's immediately water yeah you're in the shower and they were doing it to each other they all thought it was funny he wasn't even like involved but he just it made him so uncomfortable

to be in the shower well that's valid yeah i think um and he was also that's the problem with like high school sports is there is there are adults and then there are kids who are like 13 years old on the same like yeah yeah my buddies are on the hockey team when they were seniors are like grown men and then there was i don't want to say his name but he was like a sweetie pie like he had no business being in there yeah yeah one guy had like the size of like a water bottle oh And I just couldn't believe it. Like Nalgene? Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Bro's got a Nalgene on him? Like mountains on the side? Yeah. Yeah, I have heard of people whose girlfriends have broken up with them because their penises are too big. Like that girl on stream? What's that?

You hear about that girl? She was dating an NFL player, and she was talking on the stream. And she said it was the main factor in their divorce. oh it was a marlin stream it's because you can't you physically can't have sex with them there was a kid it's that same hockey team his girlfriend of three years broke up with him because they started having sex and she was like it's impossible wait the marlin stream what does that mean the marlin stream like uh espn sorry florida espn miami she was a miami marlin no no marlin is a streamer right is he the guy that like looks maxes no that's um that's clav i think who clav

yeah like clavicle why do they all have they none of them have normal like what there's no streamer named like eric mike kai marlin do you watch streamers no but i see the clips on tiktok who does i would build so many that's what i mean who are they it's like a friendship simulator but i also think it probably isn't i mean they have like big time comedian like kevin hart goes on streamers kevin hart big time comedian more like guy who's in a bunch of commercials i'm really really worried about my money situation if anyone has any money how is your financial situation grim is it really but i lost it all are you on what porno magazines no my my financial situation is i my problem is that i've as i've made more

money i haven't really i've just spent more right on par with my income so i think i mean i've saved more money this year than any year of my life you have to automate transfers yeah i do that that's the name of the game uh and then and then you're good i think we should all do a 24 hour maybe 48 at 24 hour water fast together i did that last year and it was fun water fast i don't want to do that at all why you'll feel like a million bucks after it clears all the toxins out name a toxin co2 you're clearing all the carbon dioxide out of your body monoxide it's co1 respect uh no i gotta start it's not i'm gonna go run today and then i'm i'm gonna get back into it have you not been well you've been hiking and doing all that kind of stuff i mean i run at

least like once a week but do you ever do are you gonna get into lifting next that'd be kind of cool if you got like crazy buff i can't that would like ruin everything i feel like no i can't do anything other than running until after boston i got into like nofap one year what what is that you don't know about nofap like it's like abstaining from it's like a reddit and what are they just they're like no not november they're like big on like the idea that like it makes you better my buddy was really into it and he kind of put me on and i was reading some stuff i was like i don't know if this is true but like i feel like you you'd be just operating on like you'd be like in limitless where you can like you know at you are hyper

aware of your surroundings yeah i don't really i've never really noticed that much of a difference honestly the christian fraternity at texas a&m removed all the doors from everyone's rooms so they wouldn't do it what yeah what if they wanted to like go to sleep they have to do it with the doors open what if they want to like crank one out oh that's what if they want to like polish their monkey i didn't think about polishing the monkey you'd have to ask him what are we talking my girlfriend's mom is a top 10 listener i've played it really i just learned that this morning i was thinking about all the things that you've said that she's probably heard it was just so funny because when we were together i feel like i put on a pretty good act of like i'm

i'm like a good guy you ever heard that young gz song where he says i put on for my city should we do drafts yeah jesus lord oh my god this who's high video is number one no way yeah it's beating harry potter world and epcot what it's awesome that's unreal let's go let's go um how does it be Epcot I think we're like him I think we're them

Nelson effect call me non-binary the way I'm them alright should we do party themes that don't exist or holiday movies that don't exist the Mandela effect the Mandela effect that's when you um

break out of prison and become president these are more party themes that don't exist the aperol spritz experiment you have to show up on something that has wheels so you're either on rollerblades a skateboard a ripstick and we only serve aperol spritz that sounds lovely it would be awesome hide and go seek everyone brings a different kind of beer and you have to hide your case somewhere in the house and the catch is you can't drink your brand that you brought so you have to scour the house to find beers that other people have hidden and you can only drink the other brands you find that is phenomenal that's so good that's so good all right the great british drank off there are three judges everyone pairs up

and they make like their own cocktail that doesn't exist the judges go around and vote on it people are eliminated whoever wins that is the cocktail of the night and everyone drinks that love that uh thread the needle you said a minimum and maximum abv threshold everyone must attempt to exist exactly within the limits for the entire night if at any time you get breathalyzed and you're either above or below the threshold you're out that's fun like you'd go home yeah it's a glass man standing yeah and it's and you can pick a nice one where it's like if everyone's this amount of drunk this will be perfect perfect yeah it's like kind of a nice way to like keep things in check too that is you're on fire thank you uh prohibition three people are the booze police

and they try and figure out who at the party is drinking so if they catch you drinking they send you to jail which is another room in the house yep and the uh booze police can't join the party the jailhouse party until they've caught everyone and then that's when the real party starts that sounds like a blast yeah i don't totally think it like makes sense when you think about up like at surface level the idea is yeah they'll figure it out we're high level drink or sink if you're not drinking you must be laying on the floor or you have to sit in the sink or you have to sit in the sink you pick it's up to you uh all right should we do holiday movies yeah i'm curious if anyone's actually ever done one of the parties i'm sure they will soon they will

win college wait you guys said you like when college was the hide and go seek one really do you want to do the intro then not to no no i was thinking the same thing okay these are holiday movies that don't exist all right timmy candy cane discovers that whatever he puts on his christmas list will magically appear under the tree the next morning so he decides to make sure everyone in town has the best christmas possible he goes around figures out what everyone wants and he gets that for him that's awesome but oh sorry but the evil toy company doesn't like this because their sales are going to plummet, so they're trying to get a hold of his Christmas list.

That's good. What do elves get for Christmas? Everyone's always wondered. They're so busy making our presents. What's their Christmas like? In the movie, you learn about Smelves, which exist on the South Pole, and they make all the presents for elves for Christmas,

and they have Santa Clons, and so it's all about an elf getting ready for Christmas and the Smelves and Santa Clons. That's phenomenal. What do the Smelves get? I'm not a fucking genius. I'm not a fucking genie. I'm not a fucking genie.

Oh, I landed in L.A. on a flight from Boston, and the international terminal in L.A. is called the Tom Bradley International Terminal. The lady's like, we will now be landing at the Tom Brady International Terminal. Willie texted me, it must be a Boston-based crew. The world-famous boy band Grindspot travels back to their small hometown of Reindeer Village for Christmas. when they get there it's clear that the town has forgotten the true meaning of christmas to fix this the boys go house to house caroling and gathering people to the park where their manager has set up a huge stage for them to perform their new hit christmas song and they restore christmas

spirit to reindeer village what is the name of their hit christmas song tickle me elvis tickle me elvis fun santa clogs when santa makes a quick pit stop at one of the houses things go awry when the toilet won't flush everyone wakes up and he must now escape the house and unclog the toilet all while getting back to his sleigh to deliver the rest of the presents you really do make all these on the toilet yeah no when the small town of presenceville tragically burns down in a fire the local baker rebuilds the town uh out of gingerbread and saves christmas at the end of the day i love that justin or sorry and saves christmas just in quicker than you can say gumdrop button tickle me elvis when you were going to take a shit before this recording

were you doing your drafts yes you told me that was the only one about pooping i'm just wondering backup reindeer when dasher gets sick on christmas morning a backup is called in to deliver the presents he's never done it before he's nervous and he's sweaty can he pull it off we'll see isn't that rude is that reindeer what is that rudolph yeah isn't that is that what rudolph does are you joking i thought he got just like drafted was it because someone was sick someone like couldn't go yeah and like or no it was super blurry out so they needed his nose to light the way so that is blurry what who's blurry out what do you mean it was foggy foggy all right all right fucking weatherman over here get real all right fine undercover elf

a kid who wants to see how christmas is really done travels to the north pole and disguises himself as an elf he almost gets away with it until he hits a growth spurt is that is that elf that's a lot of no he is an elf in that no he's not he's a kid he's a boy he's a human yeah you never seen the elf but how did he get in with elves he snuck into santa's bag when santa was at the orphanage and then he has like a really big growth spurt yeah it's like the whole thing he's like too big the whole beginning of elf you want to try again i haven't seen elf in so long i forgot i did elf i did elf and you're in your defense it was blurry out um all right that was my last one we love you guys have a great rest of your wednesday

no have a great rest of your monday you have anymore no all right guys have a beautiful rest of your monday have a great tuesday and we'll see you bright and early for our wednesday episode i'm sorry yeah i'm sorry i did play that mute Thanks for watching!