Will & Rusty's Playdate - what it's like to drink around Tokyo DisneySea

Episode Date: February 4, 2026

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play date play date episode 180 180 right 181 181 nice randy moss you're i think i like yours better right randy moss 80 not we're 81 on the pads yeah why are they they don't even oh yeah there you go bang um is that him mooning mooning the crowd and who's the announcer that goes, what Randy Moss just did was a disgusting act. Joe Buck. Yeah, Joe Buck. He pretended to moon the crowd.

Yeah, it was like, whatever. We're guys. We pretend to moon the crowd. We're guys. We're gonna pretend to moon the crowd. We got our friend Lucas here. What's up, guys? Lucas is a... He produces, directs, and films all of our... And even helps edit sometimes our unscripted YouTube videos on the

Friday Beers YouTube. Facts. We got him here because the day this comes out our first video from japan will be also coming out a little bit after this pod but something to look forward to if you're one of the early birds uh and we wanted to continent we kind of bit our tongue the last week and now we can really this is like a tell-all this is kind of our tell japan month tell all japan month tell all what uh what you said you just watched a cut of the video yeah the disney seas one tokyo disney seas okay i think maybe first we talk about how we missed half the park well you we didn't know this is not we totally our fault i mean as you guys like get drunker through the parks it's harder to like

like guide you through so like once it got started getting dark out really cold like even though maybe i didn't know that like i i think like in each park in each port that we went to i was like okay there's other stuff we're not seeing but i'm happy to get through this yeah but let me just show you guys how much we missed so we missed it was called fantasy land yeah it's like half it's like half the size of the park so we went to this top part this second part there's a whole map just for that part and that's technically still disney sea wait can you slack that to andrew so in our in our defense neverland rapunzel's forest oh jolly roger frozen kingdom bro and i mean i don't want to like shoot shoot our video in the foot but this is like

their nintendo world this is the new world we gotta go back though we have to go back it's brand new yeah it's brand new i have a all right i have a thought as to how we missed it we because we were told like we're going to fantasy land next and we kind of started walking in that general direction and then we hit the thought the thing that we were joking was silicon valley and we thought that was fantasy land i don't know i don't think we ever said we were going to fantasy land i don't remember that caleb kept being like we're going to fantasyland i think fantasy springs mermaid lagoon discovery port discovery which is where we went okay that's where all the school so we missed arguably the best part of the park no we didn't we barely wow man that place probably

stinks i i want to be real we probably will never be going back right dude we're doing japan year 2027 yeah we're saying if japan month goes well we're gonna escalate to japan year anyway that park was the coolest fucking well disney park i've ever been at it's so massive that like okay if we didn't see half of it it was still like we walked like 10 miles yeah well we let's talk about some of the highlights what do you think was the highlight well i think we should explain we should tell people what it is for it's like they're like epcot kind of for like ports it's not really epcot though it's but for my brain it's just a disney park yeah but they have like different themed sections of it which i think is just every disney park

right to me it felt like epcot well they had like a few they had like new york and they had like um arabian one but then the other sections were just like made up things oh the lost river delta which is some blend of like yeah new orleans and mexico we were like it's gonna be mississippi like the delta river or something and then we got down there and it was just like aztec yeah we thought it was gonna be like the delta river you had a funny line that made me laugh in the cut where it's like yeah it's like you got it so i know you're new to podcast that's that okay um i apologize um well i lost my train of thought so i had a line in the cut oh yeah yeah where you're talking about how you thought it'd be new orleans but it's mexican

it it's it is weird though that yeah but it was massive it was like the coolest park i've ever been to i think it was so big and so immersive like remember that whole ship in the american port that we just didn't even go on because yeah the queen mary yeah yeah it was uh tobias's queen mary yeah it was impossible to like see it all yeah we got so cold it was and there's polar i mean i was wearing like i was wearing the jacket i wear skiing yeah like in the dead of what like it's my warmest jacket and i was like frozen to the bone can we talk about how there's no mickey mouse there oh yeah they don't they have their own guy so i just they got we start like it takes about you know an hour to realize like okay this isn't just a fluke it's all instead

of mickey mouse they all have duffy they just have duffy duffy is their guy who duffy's like they're making a wait but don't look him up yet because i don't uh because i gotta i did some research on him turns out duffy isn't their mickey mouse he's like he's like mickey mouse's are no he's like a seafaring character oh he's from is he from coming to america the eddie murphy movie no what's the one i'm thinking of where the mice go it's a disney movie where the mice like all get on a ship and go to a fever dream movie i watched i only had it on vhs i remember we used to bite the school that you go to one that learned about america i was watching it for leisure you were watching it like no way i didn't know they could do this you had a college course it was

called an american tale yeah is duffy from american tale is that duffy no no that's another most that's oh yeah i'm still created by disney as like the seafaring character and apparently in the u.s he was like a flop but in japan they fucking ate it up they ate it up so i think if you went to the regular disney you'd probably still get mickey but because we're at disney c it would sort of play that's kind of where he dwells okay but it was duffy everywhere and the weird thing about disney is every shop just has teddy bears and like the only snacks is popcorn it's like the whole park is centered around teddy bears and popcorn and so if you're guys you're trying to find fun cocktails and foods it's like mostly teddy bears and popcorn but the attractions

themselves are goaded yeah the cocktails were were they had beer and how do you say alcohol yeah yours is going like you're kind of taking like a you're putting a little middle eastern twang on it say it again how you just said it that was like italian that was like an italian singer uh i was really good when you walk in and are immediately greet like we immediately realize this is this is they put a lot more thought into this than like epcot in comparison felt like they fucking mailed it in yeah i don't know if i'd go that far because epcot's got a lot more stuff in a smaller area it's more efficient for drinking and yeah this was like this was like a pilgrimage like every time we'd finish a beer by the time you could like get to

another station you walked like a mile and a half i would say one big thing that i think i i i think maybe they'll catch wind of soon in the america section one part of it is they have big trucks driving around that say ice on them which apparently what they're trying to do is like like ice trucks were like to sell ice in like 1920s america but when we went to the america section at universal a little spoiler of it they also have all this like ice they like signs like for some reason japanese gotham people appear to be like really associate american culture with like selling ice but you can't there there is no i will never forget the moment i saw there's But in the Disney Seas, they have ice trucks driving around that say ice on the front.

And they're like a ride. So all the people in the back are just like Japanese tourists like waving. Oh, my God. We got the ice truck picked up. It's a truck that says ice with like a bunch of foreigners on the back. It is the most. It was one of the most ridiculous. Technically, you guys are the foreigners.

I was about to say. I guess we are the foreigners. But to us. We were in America. We were in America. In that context, they were the foreigners. Is there a chance that they've, like, been seeing the ice news and there's just, like, kind of a, like, a language barrier? And, like, they think that, like.

This is going to be hot. Yeah, we just have ice trucks around. Also, I guess we kind of do. Well, also, they have, like, a sign in the America that's just, like, it was, like, a stand. And it was, like, come see the last dinosaur on Earth. Yeah. And I was, like, what is. It's so funny to see, like, their perception of America.

yeah there's like a db cooperage building yeah a building said the db cooperage it was like what the hell does that mean yeah it feels it feels like they kind of they they nitpicked like certain things yeah like they kind of just like glossed over our history you could tell like some part had like an american person doing it some part was just like somebody was trying their best to translate like cooperage they had a sign that was like this flag is raised in memoriam of all the women of cape cod that lost their lives for our country or something i was like what happened to the woman in cape cod what about the statue at universal that we think might have been abraham lincoln oh my god in the america part of the universal they just have a big statue of a guy

that's just look up the statue it's nothing it's like uh you asked chat gbk to say abe lincoln but i don't believe that it's like a smart enough smell of like every president yeah they just put every president to one guy let me see if i it's that right there yeah that first oh you got it wait does it say who it is on there no statue of a man statue of a man maybe they just think new york has a lot of statues you know statue of liberty i guess yeah um i think my favorite part of tokyo disney seas was one jack's rusty starting to learn the language and you asking them where the alcohol and chocolate milk it was chocolate milk oh and go menace that's like so go menace is i'm sorry yeah but

they got a big kick out i think we talked about this oh you did last step then did you tell them why it's funny yeah because it sounds like hero yeah uh the cape cod like women's militia thing is really funny because like do you think that they were just making up different things because they were like no one here is gonna check it right or they i mean they have a lot of folks did that happen or is it one of those things where the government has like hid that from us or every other cut like we when like the soviet union was around like we knew how bad the soviet union was but they didn't maybe like on the inside so there's like all these things that have happened that the cape cod the cape cod like the way the women's massacre baddies on the beach

like shooting at each other also right by the cape cod women's militia memorial they had those ducks right yeah and the ducks in japan are like they're like japanese ducks so they're all like very like calm and spaced out like evenly like i feel like there's just a lot of like general feeling of like order and like structure there that like you can relax the chaos the ducks yeah it actually trickles down to the ducks yeah and you could tell like the pigeons were american because the pigeons were pigeons but the ducks had like whoa serious order whoa those are japanese ducks huh can you google ducks disney sea tokyo cape cod wait there's no way the ducks are also polite they were they were so polite i mean they were yeah look look at that first picture i think it

was the very first picture i think it was just look how evenly spaced they are i thought they were fake for a second is there a chance they're fake like what no those were really that's that that's totally it or do you think they're trained why they do that maybe they like clipped their wings that would be kind of fun no but why are they all the exact same distance from one another i think they might be faked those might be fake birds no i was trying to say that in the moment and everyone called me crazy so i just moved on they're not fake no they were like they were flying around but like they could be robot robots well maybe they were the fake ones are in the water and then they put like three in there that are real to like to like get any guy like i like

the way you think yeah wow do we get duck we ate duck oh my god that duck ramen was the best meal i've ever had yeah don't group me in on that i don't know you didn't duck oh yeah you don't want to get any horse either what you don't want to get canceled dude i don't ask your audience about the horse and yeah did we talk about this you don't call them that what the the one night we got horse uh horse no we had a big debate i thought i thought lucas was talking about the uh the late night special or whatever we passed this place that was like we thought was maybe like a sex shop and we were like is it just legal to advertise it was like come stop by for the night shift and it was like a like a lady in like a camisole yeah camisole i think i took a stab in

the dark what's over what's a camisole like a little everyone just said yeah no one knows what A little nightdress. Pull up a camisole, man. Camisole. Come on, man. I'm just trying to act like I know. Yeah. Whoa.

Whoa. That was kind of a snipe. That was a parking lot. We were talking about horse meat. Yeah. There was a place that had raw horse meat on the menu, and we were like, oh, should we do it? Like, try it.

I kind of wanted to. Went in Rome. I kind of wanted to. It was just like the first place, and I was like, I was a little scared, and I didn't want to like mess up my night if i reacted poorly to the horse oh i thought you meant like like there's an old saying like if you if you get offered horse at the first place yeah say no if it happens again say yes they they always say uh take you know you'd rather horse at the first than chicken at the last but so we get there and there's horse sashimi and you guys were on board

and i said i don't even know if we've told andrew about this i said that feels really wrong like like he was saying like i was like worried like people would be upset with us in the video if we ate horse i think horses i can see that it's like almost done yeah i think there's definitely some like horse girls horse guys out there too that would be like what the heck you're eating horse i love horses because horses are kind of like dogs horse or dog horses almost dog horse dog almost for legs, bigger body, riding faster, Kentucky Derby.

I think we would get in a similar amount of trouble if we ate horses, if we ate like cat or dog. I don't, I feel like if it's on the menu there though, it's like,

oh, we could try while we're here. I don't know. I would try. It's like, for me it's like alligator. I've tried alligator. Yeah.

Yeah. But alligators are less like dog. Horse more like dog. Alligator. Frog like dog with name. Rhyming. Different body. Same name.

Rhyming. Frog dog. When we ate gator, there was no part of me that was like people would get mad at this yeah horse horse to me is like it's the there are three animals i think you can't eat but so you would eat gator but you wouldn't eat eel because i ate eel but i didn't like it oh you did try i tried one eel wasn't like a blowback thing no eel eel was not like

and what was your reasoning because it was like a serpent i don't like that it's a serpent thing it was like evil yeah i kind of do i was telling flans but we were at dinner the other night and she was like asking about all the food from japan and i was like uh she's like what's the weirdest thing you tried and i was like uh eel was like pretty weird and she was like yeah the suction cups would freak me out and we were all like we were like we were like what like are we all crazy and so we all looked at each other and then flan was like i think you're thinking of octopus and she was like oh okay yeah that's octopus uh but the eel the eel feels weird eel feels weird but Yeah, that was not for fear of getting canceled.

He gave this whole eel spiel. That was just exhausting. You didn't have it either. I did. You had eel? Yeah. I didn't like it, but I don't like seafood. So he kind of got hung up on the horse.

He's hung on the horse. I thought you were getting hung up on the horse. I was hung up like a horse. Well, Rusty, every girl there was dressed like schoolgirls. That is weird. You can't say that, but they just were. Every place we went, there were so many schoolgirls. and we were like it's a noon they're like where are they i don't like the word school girl where

is school blanket and there were school girls in troves like it was it would be like noon on a wednesday trove is it troves or droves andrew is it troves or i thought it was droves i thought it was droves i don't know again i don't know it doesn't matter but yeah i'm genuinely not For the record, when it... Oh, come on. No, droves in this context. Troves are like a treasure. For the record, I place a lot of value on them.

They're a valuable collection of schoolgirls. Yeah, for my purposes, they're troves. In this context, they both work in one's creepy and the other isn't. Read about for... Troves. You can tell how a guy feels about schoolgirls, whether or not he says they were in troves or droves. about a treasure trove valuable collection girls dude there was there was a trove of school of

school and for the listeners trove refers to a valuable collection or yes yeah drove means large numbers yeah these were these actually probably were closer to troves because it was like groups of six they were troves they were in troves um and we were like is that we i kept mentioning it in the video like am i crazy or is like everyone here a school girl and And Willie kept being like, I don't think you can say that. I don't like saying schoolgirl. Okay, well, they had, like, uniforms on all the way. Yeah.

Girls in school. Yeah, they did laugh like schoolgirls. They would point like, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee. Like, remember when I said hi when they were on the little boat, the, like, remote control boat? They were like, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee. And, like, covering their faces, like, embarrassed. But, like, it was very bizarre, yeah. Were they in, like, the same uniform?

yeah they're all they were all clearly like if it was a fashion thing they all buy them from like a real school because they all and then there were like groups of school boys there were droves of school like when we saw the school boys i was like oh they're on a field trip yeah when it was school girls for some reason i don't know if there's like there's something else happening yeah we also i saw there's a guy in a meth series i was like meths he's like what i was like go mets he's like didn't get it then he's like oh mets mets he's like sanga sanga which is like a mets pitcher that's japanese and i was like yeah kodai sanga if we talk about how shohei otani was everywhere and every advertisement you see it's just shohei yeah he is i think he's

their goat he's their lebron i'm starting to i think he's like one of their he's probably the one of their best players he's probably one of the best japanese baseball players i don't even think that's that crazy to say he'd probably be pretty good in america he'd be pretty Yeah, I think he could probably hang out with the boys over here. I think so. Lucas, you probably remember some things that we don't remember. Is there any? I feel like that day is pretty, we didn't get that drunk.

No, I just mean my memory is already bad as it is. Oh, yeah. With drinking. You guys got some fun hats. Mermaid legume was awesome. Legume? Legume. Beans?

We went on this roller, we went on what, what there's so there's this volcano that kind of like looms over the whole park it's like their hollywood sign where you can kind of like see it from like wherever you are and there's a roller coaster that goes like right through it and so you'd hear people like and so we were like all right at the end of the day like we should go on that that looks cool and we got in what we thought was the line for the like really scary fast roller coaster and then it just keeps going down like underground and we're like why don't you like start at the bottom of the volcano and like shoot up and then we just get in and it's just like a submarine like capsule and they like lock you in

there like you're completely enclosed in thing and there's no like seat belts or anything so i was like if that is this roller coaster we're gonna get like thrown like all the way around and then it was just like kind of an underwater like very slow exploration and willie and i could like control the spotlight to like look at different aliens actually really i was too scared to go Lucas was too scared, like, unironically. No, I thought it was the big scary one. I did, too. Yeah, so I was like, I don't like rides.

I got over my fear of roller coasters two years ago, so I know exactly. Yeah, but then we did the one at Universal that was, like, the VR one, and I almost threw up. Dude, oh, my God. The Minions ride. We went to Gru's house. We went to Gru's house. We got to go into Gru's house. It was, I've done some pretty legit roller coasters and, like, feel fine.

this one is one of the ones where it's just a screen and it's just moving the cart to make you feel like you're yeah i was looking at lucas the whole time we were both like i do like close my eyes at one point like it was like i'm gonna throw up he closes his eyes because he saw vector don't sugarcoat it he got scared of vector you got scared of vector oh wait that reminds me andrew do you want your gifts from japan but yeah the minion ride was not a good sample size for me roller coasters you gotta go on um and we got turned into minions we did we got turned into turned into me yeah we got turned on to minions too maybe you did perfect bob oh andrew oh yeah so that is a like it's kind of their version of a snuggie okay it's like a minion blanket with a

cape on it oh very cool and so you can sit it's a lot smaller yeah it was definitely for kids oh oh and there's another minion in there yeah that's kind of their version of a minion that's like their version of a tiny minion right their version so i'm gonna be honest i was picturing like a six foot blanket yeah i kind of like it though it's like uh it's not gonna get in the way of your legs yeah yeah right which is always what you want in a blanket can you put it on Can you put it on, please? And for our audio listeners, Andrew is naked right now.

Trying to figure out how to put on his thing. Pretty cool. And then, do I put my arms? Yeah, they're like wings. You look like a minion. So you can wear this when you're cooking naked? Yeah. You know Andrew Cook's naked?

I don't know if this is a bit you're doing. I swear to God he doesn't. Yeah, and he gets hot oil on his Charlie Brown. No, he doesn't. He said he doesn't. The pan's not that close. He walks around, like, when he's at home alone, he's naked. Do you have to, like, go close your blinds or just not have windows?

Um, no. Or do you get off with that? You know, get off is like when you're drunk. Yeah, reverse voyeurism. Reverse. What is that? Exhibitionism? I think it's actually still voyeurism.

I think a voyeurist. No, it's like, like. No, a voyeurist gets off to both people looking at them. what's it called when you get off to being to exposing yourself yeah like you know the guys with trench coats that did i tell you i went to college with a voyeurist what did he was just peep it was a girl no she wanted people to watch her and her boyfriend have sex allegedly allegedly allegedly exhibitionism exhibition i was right flashing okay um what no i don't know Why'd you say okay like that?

Okay. Okay. I just, I never knew what I had. I didn't know there was a name for what I had been feeling all these years. Didn't you give him two gifts? Yeah, he got two gifts. Oh, I see. It was the minion.

Wait, this looks exactly how the American minions look. No, no, no. That's like kind of their. Yeah, wait till they start talking. Actually, when we did the Gru minion ride, this was in Osaka, not the first video, but we get in and there's like a whole like presentation like the whole like first 10 minutes of it is like

a movie basically and it's all in Japanese so I have no idea what the fuck's happening afterwards they're like oh you guys didn't see they were like Will you didn't notice the screen to the left had subtitles and I was just looking at the other screen and I never even noticed so I just watched this whole like I didn't get any of that

we were all like talking about like what was gonna happen yeah they were like oh wow they're turning us into minions I was like what the fuck on the American screen i missed it wait have you done the american minions ride here at universal no oh i think it's like the same thing do you get turned into a minion yeah oh and you're like sitting in those like um like auditorium seats basically no no this is like a big auditorium room no ours is like you're in like a roller coaster car but you don't it's not real it's like a v but is it in

like a big room no i mean it's in a dome yeah i think that's the exact same one as we have here did your seat shake yeah did you have a lap bar yes but shit okay was yours in Japanese no I watched the screen to the left because they had Japanese

subtitles now I can watch it alright anything else we want to talk about Japan wise Lucas yeah but before I leave we pitch him on the next who's high idea oh yeah yeah we have a good idea wait I don't have we told played it about who's high do they know who's high is kind of this thing that we've

been doing where uh everyone is high except for one guy and we try and figure out i get it you guys talk about it all the time we talk about it a lot okay good i get it all right go um okay so me and caleb were watching traders two days ago and we were like what if we did it played who's high with like 10 people in an airbnb for one week you're high the whole time what and there's two people that are not high and those are the traders essentially and everybody else is trying to figure it out and people get voted out for like a 15k 25k grand prize if we could get a 25k grand i would do it right and then you're high you're up to be high the entire time we're thinking about you're trying i thought of an idea maybe like there's a couple routes we could go like there's

one option where each person who is the high person can take it at any point throughout the day but then maybe that doesn't work maybe then it has to be the inverse where one person is the only high person they have to like try and sneak their edible we're also thinking the traitors instead of killing someone at night like could make someone high the next day i don't know i think there's a lot of moving parts i think it's like i think it's like you wake up and then you have breakfast not high but then it's like okay now eat your edible like every day yeah yeah i think like breakfast lunch and dinner all have edibles in them you're just five five five that actually be kind of fun i mean if people are willing to be a high for that long if there's

a 25 being high for a week sounds horrible yeah but there's a like that's why you want to play for like 20k yeah if we could get i think it should be like we'd have to get a sponsor yeah i called her already he's trying to work on it you got the right guy right like this is this is the this is who's high traders edition brought to you by exxon mobile because it's gonna have to be like someone who because we always straight smoking on that straight gas smoking on gas come on no it could be like 3g or something um yeah we're gonna be like a weed sponsor i think would make the most sense yeah i like your idea better a week oh my god that would be so fucking funny i know and be so fun to just watch these people like high for a week

that's horrible i think i would go into like psychosis yeah i don't know what that means psychosis i think it's like you just have a something in your brain breaks yeah you go down go down a rabbit hole you didn't know maybe like we get mornings yeah i think you get mornings off and then it's like the game starts at like lunch lunch yeah because then the morning's not high and everyone can kind of be like you were fried yeah no i was i love the idea of like sitting at a round table and everybody's high being like no you're not i think we should do it i think it'd be so fun okay who's high rent like a dude rent like an airbnb or something yeah like you'd have to be like a cool like kind of out trippy house there were so there were cool places in topanga

where, like, you'd have, like, a place to walk around outside because you'd need to, like, meet up with people secretly, too, so it can't be, like, a big... Like, meeting up, like, two, like, high guys meeting up. Like, you're not fucking high. I don't know, man. Wait, this is a great idea. I feel like this could go viral.

I think it could go viral. Kudos to Caleb. You already told Herb? Already told Herb, yeah. All right. All right, Lucas, thank you for chatting Japan with us. Yes. Next, if you guys talk about Tokyo next week,

there's so much to unpack there, so... Okay. yeah love it thanks for having me thank you beast love you can you tell us like what episodes are coming each time yes it goes it goes disney sees tokyo first one second week of february it's going to be drinking around tokyo where they drink in each different district of tokyo and try to find out which is the best one for going out the third video we bullet train down to osaka we drank around the five best bars in osaka and found the best bar in osaka maybe the best bar in the world and then the fourth video the last video is drinking around universal studios

in osaka cool and the first video comes out um wednesday february 4th which is today which is today it comes out today in like a couple hours okay while i have while i have you for one more second can i show you the video with me on um let's make a deal please oh yeah yeah slack this to mr beer lucas was on let's make a deal like eight months ago what and it sounds like it just aired and people have been like coming from his from the show to the youtube channel and commenting like i'm here for lucas wait how did you get on the show uh tennessee luke my best friend so this is a tv show right like explain the premise of it yeah it's wayne brady's tv show but it's very similar to Price is Right.

No, it isn't? It's more or less Price is Right. You go up, you get picked out of a crowd, and you try to win money. Okay. The gameplay is different, I guess. Yeah, but so Tennessee Luke is this actor. He's a little older that I've become friends with,

and he's like in an actor's guild, and he gets invited on these shows, so he invited me to come on with. Okay, guys, let's make a deal. The two people, let's make a deal, shall we? what is this yeah why is it a great opening one is that you yeah wait can you turn it up oh yeah to understand my costume you gotta say my best friend's costume he's a cowboy i'm a horse he's a cowboy i'm a horse you're the horse that identifies as a boss

Awesome! Yes! Awesome to identify as a horse. Hey man, you do you. Nice job, Lucas. And Lucas, what do you do, sir? I'm a producer for a YouTube channel. YouTube, which one? It is called Friday of Years. We do comedy, we do all sorts of different content. One of my favorite shows that I'm producing is a ghost hunting show called Scared and Impaired. Scared and Impaired. Do you do drugs? We do do it, Drunk Wayne. We do do it, Drunk Wayne. 100% chance of you seeing spirits.

Pretty good. Great. That's like a Willie DJ. Yeah, that's pretty good. He's sharp. Scared and impaired. That means there's 100% chance you see spirits. Are you high or drunk?

High on life. Nice. Yeah. I thought you did fantastic. I just like the, like, I am Wayne. Wait, so how does the rest go? Do you win? Oh, yeah.

Did you make a deal? I got greedy so there's like a strategy when you go up that I figured out it's like there's always a small prize medium prize and big prize and you can kind of understand what's behind each curtain based on what you've opened and I opened up two medium prizes I thought basically I should have known not to go for the third one went for the third one zonked I got nothing what would you have gotten if you'd taken the medium prize I would have gotten two iPhones and a watch what kind of watch I don't I don't remember the Rolex no it was like some random brand I never heard of oh i feel like maybe you did the right thing like what do you need two exactly yeah

yeah i got one you have one right like sometimes there's like a car and i was like oh i could really use a car well i have one of those too yeah but do you have to pay like the tax you do have to pay the tax yeah it feels like it's just like a burden yeah some in the gift yeah some guy was telling me he's like he probably didn't want to pay the tax on that what's like the best thing you could get there's like uh like the grand prize is like a trip all throughout asia well already got that yeah i've already had you already have the man who has everything well what we got was a nice plug for the youtube channel yeah that's great yeah someone on the comment did you say that yeah yeah yeah um all right thank you yeah guys go watch uh our disney

ABC's video, out now. All right, now let's get down to brass tacks. What time? Yeah, noon Pacific. Picture this. You bet on your favorite player in the big game to score the first touchdown, but his teammate scores instead. With BetMGM's second chance promotion, you'll get your stake back

if your first touchdown scorer scores second instead. Yeah, here's what you got to do, all right? You just bet on any player to score the first touchdown of the big game. If you're right, you win. If your player scores second, you get your stake back in cash. And if you haven't joined BetMGM yet, use bonus code PLAYDATE and you'll enjoy up to a $1,500 new player offer on your first wager. BetMGM.

Make it legendary. Willie, I got a question for you. What is your guilty pleasure drink? Panko vodka. What is your go-to drink for different occasions? Panko vodka. and real quick rate your bartending skills for me pinnacle vodka guys pinnacle vodka is my bartending skills i would say on a one to ten my bartending skills are sort of a pinnacle

vodka guys pinnacle vodka was born to be the pinnacle of value vodka guys pinnacle is awesome it is great vodka at a great price it is 100 distilled from cane sugar and here's the best part it's made right here in the u.s of a baby guys next time you're stocking the bar grab pinnacle vodka great vodka at a great price please drink responsibly and you must be 21 plus let's get back into the episode i was at a i was at whole foods on saturday night w and we're picking up a bottle of wine and i saw this slice of key lime pie on the way out and i was like i i haven't had kilon pie in forever i'll grab that and if you're familiar with kilon pie it's like uh it's pretty soft on the top you know what i mean like it's you need to be delicate when you're

carrying it because it will like melt or like go in the it'll change forms and when the woman is trying to scan it she uh it's like so it's a slice of kilon pie in a clear plastic container yeah it's not strapped down or anything strapped down it's like it's not it's it's if you shake it like it's gonna yeah yeah and she's looking for the barcode she can't get it to scan on the thing and instead of like holding it up and just gunning it from the bottom she just flips it upside down so the whole thing like plops into the thing and like just completely disintegrates and then she scanned it and then just handed it back to me and flan and i were like are you she didn't even acknowledge her didn't even acknowledge it we both like started laughing because it was just

like unbelievable it was unrecognizable as key lime pie when she flipped it back over because it had like collapsed on itself and uh and then we just took it home and it still tasted like it still tasted the same that's hysterical i was like are you are you like an insane person like that was like a yeah that's like like someone who's never scanned an item before i'm trying to think about like what the worst food to do that would be like a bowl of soup yeah it's like almost that bad well like a bowl of soup with no lid like from the hot bar you didn't put the lid got it i'm thinking like a rotisserie chicken if you really can't find it just like tossing it all around the thing no i'd probably be fine key lime key lime pie is about as because the

presentations half the battle yeah looking nice key lime pie is a show pie for sure key lime pie as a show pie yeah it's not like it's not a performance thing it's all say come pie it's almost all about look speaking of lugas did you see the video i sent you that guy who looked like lugas yeah that's insane there's a guy who looked just like lugas that cracked out on the boardwalk in it so that way you took that video yeah what can you send that to andrew i want to watch it i like feel bad because it's just like a video of like a crackhead i don't We'll send it and we'll decide. It was so...

He was so close to the camera. How were you filming it? Dylan was filming it, actually. It's kind of a bummer to be like, yo, dude, you look like this crackhead I saw. This crackhead looks like Lucas, bro. I guess this is the perfect episode to show this because this is the only episode

where people know what Lucas looks like. These dogs can't say he's 41 and off-page. Look at him today. You should have seen him when he was a stick-up kid, baby. does that look like lucas yeah wait why i don't what is did dylan give any background like why are they cheering him on was that i was with him no no so we went out we were at venice beach bar and we're walking back to my house and this sprinkler broke and was shooting up like old faithful at the end of my block what's old faithful don't tell him no one tell him shooting

up like old faithful yeah you never seen that granny who's shooting up no they call her old faithful what you know yeah it's like that granny with like a who's like squirting am i getting old faithful yeah it's it's a geyser in yellowstone old faithful is a squirting granny that she was spraying like old faithful you know the famous squirting granny anyway and that shit was squirting like oh this guy came up faithful to he was yelling at us and he then he like ran into the sprinkler and uh anyway it was he was going nuts and then he was like what are y'all doing tonight what are y'all doing and we were like uh we're gonna we're we're going to my house which is like half a block from

the bar we were at and like i i didn't really want to know where i live so i was like oh we're going to uh dudley market because that's a restaurant right there and he's like oh cool i'll walk you there he like walks us up to the other market all right thanks he's like you're not gonna go in we're like oh we might i was like we might look around a little bit he's like man where you going where you going you go to oh have you been to rvr on abby kinney that place is great i could walk you over there which is a new restaurant in abby kinney that's like really highly i was like yeah this guy like kind of knows his shit he's like the venice uh concierge yeah but he was like completely cracked out and then he goes uh i was like i'm gonna be honest man i

think we're just gonna do our own thing like we don't really know you and he goes oh that's right you don't know me hi jonathan robert coin and then and then we're like oh nice to meet you mr coin and then he's like all right all right you know what i'm gonna leave you i'm gonna go steal some cinnamon toast crunch and just took off down the alley that was his coolest outro of all time john coin dropped a bar he just goes all right i'm gonna go steal some cinnamon toast crunch and takes off down the alley you're like wait wait wait i'll come never mind never mind you can totally roll with my yeah we're laughing john coin is just like a funny oh my god but anyway i feel i'm sure this guy was going through something i don't want to like air his shit

out but he was uh he does look like lucas it looks like lucas yeah oh that's right you don't know me yeah jonathan robert because no one can ever know me yeah also it's funny walking up to dudley market with him leading our pack was like oh like it's like a fancy restaurant everyone's like looking like everyone's outside waiting for their table so it kind of did look like he was like he's like and here you go what kind of yeah what kind of limo service did they oh uh anyway shout out john coin that's will denellan's new bodyguard he walks into doubly market damn will denell knows john coin yeah the hostess is like john you dining with us tonight you can skip the line all right here's something uh

This might be nothing. Okay, this is probably going to mean nothing to you guys, but... So there was something I was workshopping where it's like a joke where a guy's like, this is probably going to mean nothing to you, and then it's just like nonsense. Is that what I mean? I pitched it to a couple people and everyone said, that's nothing. And so I thought I would give it to you guys. That kind of works if it's nothing.

i like where your head's at personally i was more just i was just confused more than anything okay this is probably going to mean nothing to you but no i think this is falling flat i just like you know when someone's like this is probably gonna mean nothing to you and then they say something no it's like what's like the extreme of like what would mean nothing to me maybe it's like all uh it's like code dylan was saying that the joke would be funny if i spoke like perfect mandarin after that this is probably gonna mean nothing to you nihao yeah and like go into like a perfect yeah oh my god what was the uh since we've gotten back from japan i don't know

if we've already talked about this i have accidentally said arigato i said to a mexican waiter last night literally like just just and it's it's the most annoying guy you could possibly be is the guy who's like all I got to oh sorry I just got back from Japan yeah it it is it is always at the most inconvenient times where it's people of another race that it might just seem like I'm just the dumbest guy ever yep so I'll be like yeah I mean I was at a Mexican restaurant the waiter was mexican and i was like all right thank you all right gracias yeah i said gracias in japan one time yeah when i got drunk i started speaking to them and uh speaking to the people at the bar in spanish i think in your head it was like proving like i'm not just in english like

no in my mind it was like better than than not knowing anything i don't i think it was fully like i knew they didn't speak english and my brain was so uh inundated with alcohol at that point that i could i forgot what they did speak and i i just went back to the basics here's a question can i do you guys have any cash i could have huh let's sit on that one i've been seeing people wanting the money bit back are you seeing that i don't did you see that comment you thought you're gonna bust it out today i'm not busting one out today i learned backgammon yesterday fucking nightmare is it really i don't know i couldn't figure it out from the instructions oh you were you were trying to learn it without a known uh backgammon player it was just reading

the instruction manual on my backgammon game you go i was gonna say a lot of games that i do know how to how to play like i've learned from someone else if you read the instructions i'm like i wouldn't have made i wouldn't have yeah made it here with just the instruction youtube has made learning games like exponentially easier what's your are you what's your newest game funny you should ask on um on saturday night i got a text from lauren around 6 p.m saying i think i kind of want to just have like a girl's night with my girls you know because she's about to leave so there's a lot it's kind of a i'm i'm sort of if she wants me i'm around but i obviously don't want to impose on all her time she's she's a girl's night and i went into full-blown

how do i get a wingspan game together mode and within an hour i'd pull together a game which i was pretty proud of uh so i had angus and jerry and jerry's girlfriend uh come over and we played the new wingspan expansion that i got oceania is it seafaring birds it's birds from oceania so oh like australia like the the base game of wingspan is mostly north america so it's just a whole new 95 new birds does it tell you what countries they hail from no no hailing intel but there is a new app that dylan showed me where you can scan any bird on your board and it plays the sound cool fun so it's i like that but the new expansion is great new board new new food called nectar it was it was a hit i called you when you were doing that

what did i call you about to show me your jacket did you wear that jacket oh yeah yeah i wore uh when when you were having your board game night i hit the town pretty hard i was wearing a new leather jacket that i was pretty excited about and it's uh i'll slack you a picture of it but it's covered ty ty works in music and he said it was something along the lines of like uh none of the rappers want this do you want this it was like gonna doesn't want this do you want this and i said who to go to and i said yes and so i wore i wore this little number out to the bar um this is not going to do it justice but this this is it um and at home at home a jacket a funny jacket is very funny in the mirror and you can kind of laugh about it

when you get to a packed bar um that people didn't sick it is pretty cool what bar did you go to I started at Q's, and then I went to the Golden Bowl, as you know. You love that shit. And I burnt it to the ground. You know how I invented the Uncle Shirley? I ordered a round of Uncle Shirley's, and a different bartender made them, and they were, you remember how they were a hit the first time I did it with my crew? Everyone was very upset after because he got the ratio all wrong.

Too strong? Way too strong. It was literally just like a vodka shot. And so I was regretting that in the morning. And the jacket's also really hot. Uncle Churdley's. Isn't Churdley's something? Churdley is the internet comedian.

Oh, yeah. He's on our podcast next week. he mostly does like uh like there's a lot of like porn stars in his videos now she's gotten kind of interesting uh back in the day it was not that way wait wait i have two things yeah please first my parents are here they got here on saturday get off the plane i picked them up my dad was like we just experienced a 91 degree swing it was negative seven when they left their house that morning and it was 84 when they got here i thought you meant a 91 degree swing like they were like flying and it was like is that insane though that's gotta be one of the

more dramatic possible swings within the u.s thousand percent yeah because even in florida my dad was saying he got into the 20s yeah the southeast is pretty cold too yeah he had to go outside with a hair dryer on an extension cord to keep the water heater pipes from freezing and that begs the question in florida are the are the water heaters outside and he said yes here's something that's happened since we last recorded we went to the spotify viral party we did i met adam friedland talked to him about the mets a little royal otis talked to we talked royal otis i hit really i hit the swerved royal otis when i saw them i went like oh my god and then realized like that's like the worst possible thing we were also right next to each other so i

think it like startled him yeah and then they walked away and then i like got back next to him just kind of when we were like migrating wait it's two guys right yeah i was next to royal i think yeah yeah and uh and i was like i'm so sorry for that reaction i just love your guys music i got very uh it caught me by surprise he was like that's fine that's cool i didn't know you're an oat head an oat head yeah can i be honest i like a couple of their songs but their covers their covers are just what does it for me yeah i yeah i saw them in new york i was great i think it's a great pop music i thought it was cool it was cool to just like we saw like madeline klein was like walking around yeah like and then we saw all the people perform yeah all the all the best new

artists so every yeah everyone that performed like last i was watching the grammys last night It was just the same thing that we watched the week before. What do you guys think about Cat's Eye? I love them. We talked about this on the last episode. Did we really? Yeah. Well, we talked about what Cat's Eye is.

And that you love them. I do love them, yeah. Did you watch the Grammys last night? I did, yeah. What did you think of their performance last night? I don't like that song. Okay. I mean, nobody likes that song.

Okay, that makes sense. They did a song no one likes. Basically, yeah. it was very strange and i was like this is this is the first thing i've uh seen of them because when we were there like when they got up it happened to be the time that we all like went to the bar and got a drink so i didn't get to see them my thought was if you're like a sing they're like a singing group if they don't like for most of their performance they just didn't have microphones because it's like like it was they're a dance that performance they were like

a dance group but i think that's sort of like part of k-pop is that it's like almost just as much the singing as the choreography but they did the choreography nice very good they did all the so all the best new artists performed like back to back to back to back to back and like them being in the same category as like olivia dean and like somber felt kind of and like uh who's the other who's the girl that sings messy lola young she's awesome are you all did she do messy last night yeah but it was like on p it was like a piano acoustic it was awesome she won uh she won something like best solo pop solo pop performance we were cracking you up last night there are like a handful of opportunities for you to kind of win the same award like i think

there's different criteria but it was like yeah best song best record best out you know what i mean like i don't understand what the difference but uh i don't know they just they they felt kind of out of place in that amongst like these other people that were mostly like singers you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah i mean i think everyone was on board that they should have done like gabriella which is like more of a singing song and that's what they did at the party that you guys went to too um but i don't know the the whole story with like gnarly is it's like written by someone trying to make fun of like american culture you know it was kind of intense yeah it's also very like twerky yeah i gotta watch this z was z was sitting there we were all what they were like six was

watching the grammys and z was like off on the side and he was just like and we were like what and he was like everything is just so sexual now and we all thought he was like joking at first we were like oh yeah good one and he was just like i just don't get it it's like this is just basically porn and we were like come on how old is bro yeah but uh no i mean it was it was like yeah it was a little it was it was a little cheeky i just felt like it wasn't really it wasn't a it wasn't really like a musical performance they were just like dancing yeah i think they have a long way to go unfortunately i saw them live one time and they like had a bunch of music issues and stuff or technical difficulties with their music is it just because they are they like lip syncing

no it was just like the beat cut off like halfway through the performance or something messed up all their synchronized dancing and everything um but yeah i feel like every girl group goes through the phases of like they're performing other people's music essentially oh is no is gnarly oh you're saying like other people write it other people write it they were like they were like like someone like put them all yeah exactly exactly so um that's the same with like one direction yeah yeah one direction well they went through the same thing too where they were kind of right yeah performing if you go back and watch their original auditions they're not very they weren't harry styles one they're all and his wasn't even the worst really oh my like all of

that i think liam maybe was one of them was like a good singer and then the rest they like crafted them into so actually i guess maybe i'll be a big cat's life i think that if they like craft them into i don't know on my way into work today i listened to everybody want to steal my girl everybody want to take my way is that because she went on a girl's night yeah she she spends one night with her friends everybody wants to steal my girl no it's because audrey hobert covered it at that show i went to earlier this month and that's oh that's the song she did yeah that's sick uh the alex warren's like ear piece like the yeah it has like a metronome in your ear it's in ears cut out is in ears cut out and so he's like fucking with it and he like got lost

for like 10 seconds of like where he was in the song and when everyone was like oh no and then he stuck the landing and he nailed it and i was like that is impressive yeah he did end up catching in the end but yeah i like i i like him i like he's two of the nominees are from the hype house that seems yeah crazy is that what music is gonna be now like pop stars are gonna be from the internet no they're gonna be from friday beers you imagine like angus was like everybody wanna see my girl chester chester oh almost there's billy our mom our mom is here i saw noah khan was at a party saturday i was wondering if you he was at the party we were at too oh did you say hi no i didn't see him i didn't know until after i saw a

video that he was there but that would have been cool bb stockwell was at the um to be and bb no money yeah and stockwell who's that she i actually we have a lot of mutual friends um she's her mate right no she went to camp with a bunch of my friends for me but she's like boston she's growing very quickly she's really good a lot of people a lot of people throwing around the word next up a lot of people saying she's next up what does she do is she music what would you describe it as like folk willie i haven't i don't listen to much for music but yeah she actually camp brought her out at a concert i went to one she's great she has very like a low register it's cool yeah do you know uh have you seen that song like

it's like viral on tiktok oh it's stella lefty oh it's like been blown up on tiktok and she was standing right next to us when we were watching one of the shows and so i i was like i like made eye contact with her i was like hey i love your music and she's like oh thanks and then lauren was turns and she goes oh my god and they they went to high school together oh the girl yeah yeah from nutrier yeah yeah they that lawrence high school i think we've talked about this before lawrence high school is a powerhouse for celebrities it gets better well maybe not in the celebrity front but yesterday the new neighbors move in upstairs two of the three people that moved in in my building like it's a there's just two units in our building yeah

two of the people that moved in upstairs went to high school at lauren they're spreading And nowhere. Newtrier is going to take over the country. This is like the crazy. Yeah. Apparently their high school looks like insane. Should we Google it? Yeah.

Can you Google it? What high school? Newtrier. Rainn Wilson went there. So did Jake Johnson. Newtry. Damn. I mean, it's kind of beautiful.

Yeah. Okay, Google. Is this in Chicago? Yeah, like north suburbs of Chicago. That makes sense, I guess. A lot of industry people there. remember when we were doing the the giraffe weight thing and we were like is our math like way off we we we multiplied when we were supposed to divide or something or vice versa when according

to the comments was that when i was like i think i did my division wrong maybe maybe we're supposed to multiply then i don't know people were people were pissed wait i don't think we did it wrong that's what i thought but it also it also we did get a number that made no sense so no i think it just doing volume we or whatever this chat gpt spit out was fucking weird yeah i stand by my giraffe math bro's doing giraffe math bro's doing bro's doing bro's trying to get some long neck do you guys want to do the road map yeah i would love to i've been working on the weekend railroad uh guys i could not be more excited for baseball to start and i am gonna see the new york mets play thanks to seat geek seat geek two words they combine

them for one and that's how they came up with the name of their company fun fact but seriously they have it's the best place to get tickets they have more than 30 million more than 35 million downloads number one rated ticketing app there's more than 70 000 events they got concerts sports festivals sports festivals sports festivals you name it 2026 you got some options you can see bruno mars lady gaga bts ariana grande morgan wallen zach bryan zara larson cardi b chris stapleton alex warren demi lovato lucas boyd olivia dean grab your tickets now and look look bts is coming september 1st to sofi and you can already get tickets right here in c geek i am more of a mets guy than a bts guy and that's why i have mets tickets and look you can see and

then i can go to my my ticket history and i have like a million like it's like unbelievable how many tickets i bought come on concert season is right around the corner to make it even better you can use code play date 10 for 10 off your seat geek tickets that's 10 off tickets with promo code play date 10 make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later thank you seat geek let's get back into the episode all right we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we are going to hear your pitch followed by our pitches then we are going to do am i the asshole and then we are going to hear some of your confessionals we're going to tell you if you're going to hell or not

and then we're going to do this guy rocks followed by teach me something and then we're going to do arrested development plots that don't exist followed by the willie d special months that don't exist have you seen arrested development yes you asked me this more than i ask you if you play chess deal um but i will say i this i had way more trouble writing an arrested development plot than any other because you haven't seen it i would write chess plots in my sleep what i would write chess plots in my sleep chess i would write chess dots in my seat the the denellan approach is like knocking the board over when you start to lose fuck that i'm a fucking checkmater i fucking checkmate people left and right when i check all right now who do you think

who do you think could do it first i how do you think i could watch arrested development or you could learn to play chess at a decent level first i don't know i think both are impossible um also birdie's bed that i made for her is has just been kind of like decaying into yeah i actually might need that tarp on thursday i'm not even kidding is that cool all right yeah for the record she this is just her office bed she doesn't use this at home not some kind of animal she is all right andrew can we hear some uh okay what's the worst part about singing karaoke um the the you don't get to go every time you hmm yeah i get yeah i don't know okay uh that's right your place in the song and you make a

mistake sometimes you down a few too many cocktails while waiting for your turn and next thing you know you're far too drunk to sing your go-to song introduce gatekeep karaoke this device is a microphone that doubles as a breathalyzer if the mic detects you may be at a blood alcohol level too high to perform your song perhaps because it's too fast paced or requires a more skilled vocal range it will skillfully guide you into a different song that you may be closer to at your inebriated skill level of course it will always choose something of a similar vibe and links to your spotify at sign up so it knows exactly what songs you play on repeat yeah like so i used to have this problem like early days of over my head sometimes i get too

drunk and then i couldn't totally stand now i i think it's like second nature like i can do it in my sleep muscle memory but i've been trying to work in a new i've realized like you gotta have a few songs especially you're in a place where you have the opportunity to go up a few times you can't be completely caught off guard after the fray so i've been working in if it makes you happy by cheryl crow yeah that crushed at the drunken clam but i crushed at the drunken clam but i missed a few parts of it right because i had had a few cocktails cocktails so i think uh i think this is great uh i'm trying to build up my repertoire open to any suggestions but if it makes you happy it's a good one yeah maybe if like you're it will suggest songs for how drunk

you are so like if you like because sometimes i'll get up there i'm like i don't even know what i want to sing i'll blow into it and it'll be like oh he's got like a little buzz going but then if it's like all the way hammered it's like mozart yeah moats i get a piano pops out of the board i get to play boats or i was thinking something you don't have to sing anything oh you just stand up there while it does like yeah uh all right what's the worst part about for the right i love that i'm in i i would invest yeah what is the worst part about walking your dog makes your legs hairy stinking

close very close it stings gotta pick up their poop you gotta pick up your poop with your hands with the back still touching it still feel it we find out he's just been like you still gotta feel like the warmth through the bag

and it's like if it's a squishy it's just kind of a nightmare leash that you can detach and it's like a vacuum hose so it like sucks all the poop up and then you press a button and it just incinerates it inside that's awesome and then you just hook your dog back up to the leash and you go go home and it just like vanishes because i was like i yeah there's no byproduct well no there's like a there is like there is like a um exhaust pipe on the end oh i probably fucking

reeks incinerated poop it's probably really actually whatever it shoots out of that is probably the worst smell of all time but like i've just been having this issue where since i've had birdie i walk back so you put your dog's poop in the bag and then you're just the guy carrying around a bag of poop which in any other context is super weird and there's not really anywhere to put it there's no trash cans we were out on the walk like not on my street yeah um unless it's trash day of course but then then i have to walk back into my apartment building with a bag full of poop and i either put it on the garbage chute or i have to like walk it to the dumpster or whatever because i'm not gonna put it in my trash right yeah that would be gross um so i would

just like to incinerate it i had a thought that maybe it like uh you can load it up and then it'll just shoot out the other end so you could like aim it towards the forest and it launches and it's like composting yeah it's like composting or if like maybe you're on like the street and someone's like speeding you can like shoot it at their car so it's like a double like like you ever seen the guy who like whips shit at people who are speeding in school zones do you think that's like throws green beans at them and shit do you think that's real i've always assumed it was i don't know i saw he did one that like it was something similar to the consistency of like mashed potatoes and it covered the entire guy's like windshield i was like that's what i was like you're making this

worse yeah well also now they just can't yeah they just can't do anything about it what was what were you talking about you're gonna pitch me oh yes what's the worst part about making coffee in the morning the weight yeah the weight this is a coffee you drink the night before and it takes eight hours to set it's a delayed fuse it's a delayed fuse coffee so you drink a cup of coffee before bed go to sleep eight hours later it kicks in you pop out of bed like it's nobody's business that's phenomenal that's like a like a nappuccino to the extreme what's a nappuccino this woman says if you're really tired you should drink a cup of coffee and then go and take a nap so you sleep for like 15 minutes and then you wake up like energized i've done that before yeah it's pretty good i

remember one do you want to go or do you want me to go i want you to go one time in college i was like really tired and uh it was like finals or whatever and like i've been like up all night or whatever and i took an adderall to try to stay up immediately passed out for eight hours like it has the opposite effect on you i woke up i was like what the fuck like it was like the i don't yeah i think your guy whoever was giving it to you was just was out and like or he got like the melatonin mixed up no it was i'm i think i was just that tired he's he he was supposed to give you adderall and some other guy melatonin yeah yeah and that guy he's hanging out with and he's like off the walls and he's like will collapsed over your laptop he gave or he gave

me like a fucking fucking boner pill do you think you're operating on such a high frequency that adderall has the inverse effect no most i've that was not the only time i'd taken it and i think i was just that tired that my brain was like i don't care i'm going to bed or i got like so locked in on sleeping were your dreams about like organizing stuff my dreams were about um no it was like demons and monsters and getting attacked like the normal stuff speaking of demons and monsters getting attacked friday night lauren was sleeping over separate sides of the bed obviously demons this is what's lauren been up to she says she saw a guy she wakes up she's like oh my god will there's a guy out on your patio i was like oh my and so i got up and i like probably could have

been more i honestly was like didn't really i was like there's no way there's a guy out there and i went out there and there i didn't see anyone and then i came back in and i was like no guy went back to bed and then the next morning i was like crazy that you thought you saw a guy and she's like no i did see a guy like i think in the moment once i didn't actually see anyone i was like uh right she's in i mean i believe her i believe her but i don't i really don't want to believe her so i keep trying to bring i was like scott said he saw a possum is it possible and she's like will i saw a guy so now i'm like i don't know what to do with this information like so talk to me about his tail did he have yeah did he have a tail and then scott was like i was like i don't know if

possum would be big enough and then we're like well there's two cats that come in our yard so i was thinking like two cats were on top of each other and then a possum right that could maybe look like a guy like a mirage yeah like a sort of a trench coat situation but with two cats and a possum yeah but it sounds like there might have been a guy that's not possible because there's locks right your gate is locked oh my gate is locked but there's a way to get into it without a key so if you know what you're doing was your house locked yes is there really any harm to a guy hang lounging on the patio for a little bit no the problem is that there's a door from the patio directly into my bedroom that's true and lauren is on the side closer to that door so i kind of

felt bad like that's a little scary oh you're in an interesting situation where you know the man is always supposed to sleep closer to the door in case there's like an intruder yeah you have two doors each one more dangerous than the last i know and the thing is when i was out here when we heard like a clinking of bottles sound so it sounded like maybe he was clinking bottles and then i realized hanging on the my side of the door to that patio is all my race medals so like if he had shook the door is it possible the race medals were clinking that's what we thought was bottles so that kind of scared me were your blinds open how did she see a guy no my blinds were down but my the door to the patio is like uh it's not it's like it's glass

it's like heavily blurred glass like you can't actually see anything but our string lights on the patio were on we left them on so it was like you enough light coming from the string lights that you could see a shadow through the door i kind of saw it too but like i was like just wait i don't know like isn't your neighbor's staircase go straight into your patio yeah but our neighbors hadn't moved in they moved in yesterday landlord at one in the morning maintenance guy again one in the morning late night maintenance guy i think it was like i think like a homeless guy someone must have left the gate open and a homeless guy wandered in and then left imagine you go out there and he's like robert coin yeah john coin well it was the same night we met john coin so it could

have followed you home john coin there's also a world where that's just something you accept is gonna happen if you live well scott now we're talking about it we're like honestly level in venice yeah the fact that that hasn't happened and we've had nothing stolen but that's the thing my bike is there my all my stuff like they didn't we have a tv a bike if there was a guy there wouldn't you have taken something have you tried calling her like crazy and nuts well that's what every time i try to like posit an alternate theory she sort of pushes back in a way that's like i'm calling her crazy it's like no you don't understand i'm trying to be able to sleep i literally had nightmares the next night yeah whatever it's probably fun probably fucking

nothing yeah i have a thought about your coffee thing too you wouldn't have to you wouldn't have to uh deal with the whole brush your teeth or drink coffee first scenario exactly get up just get up and go um andrew yes would you like to start with am i the asshole or confession am i the asshole okay we'll stick with the uh the schedule yeah i think the road map and we start doing is this an asshole and you show us one picture that is in one picture that isn't and we have to figure out which one is what totally okay am i the asshole for shushing someone at a concert hello to flan's boyfriend sadika's boyfriend and lauren's boyfriend sadika's boyfriend lauren's boyfriend i guess i'm flan's boyfriend uh i was at a soccer mommy concert at

the paradise in boston this summer the venue is very cool but relatively small and the music is pretty vibey and has some instrument heavy moments the concert started most people started to settle down and stop talking but this one girl continued her conversation at full volume while her friends were trying to dance and watch a show i kind of ignored her for a while but she keeps yapping and bumps into me spilling her drink she goes to the bathroom and i'm pissed enough to lean over to the guy with her and i say i don't want to be a bitch to your little girlfriend but she's got to be quiet and he nods and was like yeah yeah the girl ends up coming back and the guy whispered to her what i said and she got in my face like oh what did she say why do i have to

be quiet to which i leaned in and responded because you're talking at full volume for context the soul the show was sold out so i couldn't move away and people were also looking at her she was legit making a scene sorry i'm not a karen all right not an asshole in principle however the line i don't want to be a bitch to your little girlfriend but she's got to be quiet is a crazy way or just like i would do it to the girl and be like hey can you be quiet yeah little girlfriend i mean was she tiny you used he the girl was like a dwarf she's like i don't want to be a bitch to your little girlfriend uh i thought i said i said yes at the beginning because i thought it was going to be a singing thing i think if you're talking at a concert

you deserve to at when it's when if you're talking very loudly and like it's affecting the show yeah that's an issue 100 that's i think i think talk yeah like you did the right thing i think you definitely and trust me i've got i get very frustrated all the time and i wish i could phrase things differently the way you said it was a little a little harsh but it sounds like you got off scot-free because even if you were a little cray-cray it seems like he didn't she she went nuts on you after so everyone's gonna she's the asshole i think you're okay i think singing is where i get a little confused sometimes because i like to sing at concerts but then sometimes i realize like i sing too loud so i've just kind of stopped singing at concerts i think you can sing

but i think just as long as it's lower than the that's it yeah i feel like for the person right yeah i i think i used to sing too loud at concerts and one time i heard someone in front of me say i want a concert in front of me not behind me and it and i was uh on a little bit of mushrooms and it completely ruined my night yeah i try and do i kind of try and do like backing vocals you know yeah like don't yeah don't uh it's it's a it's a nice undertone of what is actually being said because there's some songs like when i was at that that tyler concert it's hard not to hard not to sing along yeah there's definitely like i think i think that might be the answer too is like if it's like the big hit then everyone sings along right but if it's like a sad slow song like listen

let the moment yeah yeah but talking you're let the moment you're in the good yeah you're in the good uh all right should we yeah you're not the asshole confessionals yeah all right forgive me father for i have sinned after my parents got divorced when i was like nine whenever my dad would tag one of his new girlfriends i'd report their account and did it enough to get multiple ladies banned you're good you're going to heaven yeah wait what what's the we decide if they're going to heaven or hell heaven heaven heaven that's awesome a kid i went to middle school with used to masturbate in the bathroom so he got caught multiple times jacking off on school grounds inside and out one day he decided to pleasure himself by putting q-tips up his ass

and the reason why this is public knowledge is because he did this in the gym showers and he shoved the shit covered q-tips down the drain and clogged it a plumber had to come in and remove the q-tips his family had to pay the damages and he got expelled from school and sent to an all boys military school but that's not it he comes back three years later and ends up going to my high school we were making fun of him at the bus stop at lunch about this incident about three years ago over a joint and he goes into a psychotic break he ends up disappearing to the bathroom and during the last 10 minutes of lunch he managed to spread his shit all over the walls and mirrors his whole family moved away i haven't seen him or a sibling since uh purgatory for you something like like

insane asylum for that hell hell for that hell for everyone who had to read that story wait i have a question what is and granted i can't imagine either of you have ever tried this a q-tip up the butt doesn't sound doesn't feel like enough doesn't feel like yeah i was picturing like six maybe like he like rubber banded a couple together that would that would do the trick what uh you didn't do anything i mean yeah he that's something that that guy should be made this guy doesn't think he had anything to do with it he just want to tell the story yeah he was saying he was saying am i going to help for making fun of him over a joint and sending him to a psychotic break oh yeah uh oh i think that yeah i don't know i think you should shove a q-tip up your ass

see how you like it see how you like it you might you genuinely might wait also they were smoking weed at school what that's awesome i guess they're at the bus stop damn that's tight uh heaven for you health ram wait where did they smoking weed they said over a joint oh when i worked at target i fell for my co-worker about two weeks into us calling texting and hanging out he tells me as a girlfriend i was so mad that i left nails under all tires of his cars heaven you say how heaven heaven i am the owner of the rover dog that licked willie's penis and we had to put him down shortly after he was returned to us heaven it was the only thing you could do i'm so sorry

i looked at my girlfriend's gruntest before marriage while getting ready for bed after a night of drinking with my roommates i really had to pee but my roommate was in our only bathroom taking a shower our other roommate had just left to stay with her boyfriend i was so drunk and i couldn't wait because say keep in mind we're all keep in mind we're all girls i was i was so drunk and couldn't wait because i would have pissed my pants so in the kitchen with no other light on from the moon peering in from the open window I grabbed a cup and pissed in it and because I was drunk and didn't give a fuck at all I dumped out the piss rinsed out the cup and sink a little bit and then went straight to sleep as opposed to just leaving the cup in the sink to get washed

when I woke up the next day in the p.m I walked into the living room and saw my roommate who had stayed over at a boyfriend's place drinking out of the cup she's a big germaphobe and I felt so guilty but i am never going to tell her unless i get really drunk again oh hell you have to keep that you have to throw the cup out if you i think the piss cup can be like sure desperation move but then you have to throw it out also do you not have a yard or something that feels like a better you know last minute alternative than a cup i also think maybe just squat over the sink i knew guys that did the sink thing uh i think that i don't understand why you wash it she washed it out and put it back in the cupboard i guess yeah you can never tell anyone that story

but uh hell hell you gotta gotta put the cup in the dishwasher hell or throw it out i have a confession i swear i'd take to my grave however i can't let it hang over me any longer my first nut came from a razor scooter my sixth grade self discovered if you rode down a hill with no hands and leaning against the bar the vibrations would have a certain effect on my peen this resulted in a feeling i had never experienced before as well as many more razor scooter rides around the neighborhood i know what he's talking about like you would get like the like kind of like butterflies that you almost get like on like a roller coaster or something wait what you were what you did this too no but like i know what he's talking about like that feeling when you leaned on a razor

scooter like it would be like oh oh yeah i guess wait so he like put his penis on the pole of it and then rode down a hill as fast as he could you just kind of lean forward on it and like sort of shakes and like you imagine but i never obviously i've never busted i've never i haven't busted from it imagine looking at your neighbor at your uh window and your neighbor the neighbor boy is riding that like flying down the hill coming on his razor scooter i mean i don't think you would know i think you'd know if you saw a kid coming on a razor scooter also where did it go jizz heaven underwear heaven for you hell for us heaven for me hello boys i went home with a man from the bar because he looked like rusty after we did the deed he told me he was mormon and got me an uber

home i still have a sorority mom's day half zip that he had given me to go home in uh he's going to hell hell for yeah mormon hell for him heaven for my ego right now and hell heaven for you hello rusty willie and andrew i have a very quick confession it involves dr pepper flavored baked beans when i was 14 i had been jerking off for a while and was looking to experiment with my lubricant and as you can see we we had bought a can of dr pepper flavored beans to try because they were new at the time my family opened the can and we all tried some and didn't really like them so we were just going to throw them away but my parents but i told my parents that i would eat them so just put them in the fridge for later well later that night i snuck into the kitchen

grabbed the beans and went absolutely ballistic to myself in the bathroom using the beans and subsequent juices as lube i'm not proud of this and it stung so bad but it's definitely one of my more unique experiences i was like you can call if you'd like but i feel like i explained it pretty well yeah that's fucking disgusting but that is hell you are going to hell hell that is so funny i've never heard of that is that a thing dr pecker dr pepper like cotton candy more like dr pecker why wouldn't you just use normal stuff are we like forgetting how horny people used to be yeah were you ever that horny that you were like i'm gonna i'm gonna use those beans to jack off later also he sounded like he wasn't even know

about them in in his defense i can't say i wouldn't have they never were around i was never around that's true it's also like it sounded like it wasn't very enjoyable for him he said it stung so bad i wonder how old this guy is because they were released in 2018 so he's our age he said he was 14 okay at the time so he's like 22 now like yeah you're uh not the asshole not but you're going to hell you're going to hell understandable so understandable but you do unfortunately have to go to hell yeah and i think you understand why um i think maybe we just go to drafts though yeah these are arrested development plots that don't exist lucille's apartment is being tented due to a termite problem so she stays at the model home michael asks about buster's

whereabouts and they realize he was left behind they call 9-1-1 and drive to the towers hoping the termite treatment hasn't started yet firefighters run up and come back down with bad news the place was already bugged the family is devastated until the firefighter clarifies that the treatment hasn't started but the place was being wiretapped by anyong buster walks out unscathed and anyong is arrested the firefighter removes his helmet and they realize it's the doctor they usually have that always says misleading stuff and he just switched professions that's unbelievable job comes up with his newest magic trick which can make anything disappear into ash after a break-in they decide they need to uh all hide their valuables in the contraption uh

but when it's time to retrieve them they realize the trick is just setting whatever is inside of it on fire and they joe has destroyed everyone's valuables love that uh tobias hears about a casting director named gabe r he's determined to meet with him because he's heard that nobody ever goes home empty-handed when they meet him he arrives at the address he was given and realizes it's a gay bar not gabe r love it and no one ever leaves empty-handed so he goes into see what's up tobias believes he's finally gotten his big acting break when he gets asked to audition for a film called headmaster which he thinks is about the dean of a school he tells everyone at home how this will change his life but is disappointed to find out that headmaster is

actually an adult film about blowjobs he gets them to write a part for him that doesn't involve sex so he doesn't have to admit that he was wrong yep that's awesome i like how we both went for number two the device gay plot uh lucille wins courtside tickets to an nba game during a raffle at the country club she brings oscar who gets ejected from the stadium for lighting a joint courtside shortly after the jumbotron shows shortly after the jumbotron shows george senior up in the upper level of the stadium who's escaped prison to spy on lucille and oscar's date assuming him to be oscar and that he has snuck back into the stadium george is then ejected from the stadium as well and sent back to prison that's fantastic uh george michael and maybe get paired

up for a school project where they must take care of an egg to simulate parents taking care of a baby when maybe gets too into character as the wife george michael has trouble distinguishing whether she has a crush on him too or if she's just acting like his wife while they are arguing about how to take care of the egg baby tobias cooks and eats it that's great that's awesome thank you you slayed i feel like i don't totally i i i'm very good at watching arrested development i don't think i totally understand how they structure them yeah i mean it's hard because it's not as like individual like they usually follow a plot that's like carried episode to episode yeah it's not like always anywhere it's like the best everything happens and it ends and

and the best like jokes from arrested development are like small kind of like one-off things that wouldn't be in like a a plot like a lot of the plots themselves don't even sound that captivating in a vacuum yeah um these are months that don't exist foggist granulary uh haskey strint plupuary plinkralary grogtober porgle haskey frinkalary is that anything sometimes i feel like we forget we forget like how the like the idea sounds funny but then like if there's no like if we can't explain what we'll agree to disagree i think this was a home run what something is we'll see if we get a million views um all right we love you guys have a great rest of your wednesday have a great weekend and we will see you guys bright and early on monday

Peace.