Will & Rusty's Playdate - why every floridian needs a skin fade

Episode Date: July 7, 2025

Rusty talks about drunk texting his car salesman, and Willy declares his hatred for getting dressed. The gang also uncovers the real meaning behind the ringing in Lauren’s ears and dissects Drake’s new—and possibly fake—abs. Finally, the boys make up stereotypes for your state and draft Pixar movies that don’t exist. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP OUR MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/ RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: USE BETMGM BONUS CODE PLAYDATE AND GET YOUR $1500 FIRST BET OFFER TODAY https://promo.nj.betmgm.com/en/promo/geolocator?orh=promo.betmgm.com&wm=7123555 SHOP SKIMS MENS AT https://www.skims.com/PLAYDATE AND SKIMS STORES. 00:00 Intro 03:04 The best parts of being a girl 14:01 GTA 19:05 True Crime 22:27 Childhood Bedrooms 29:35 Music Festivals 43:00 What could have been… 50:43 Roadmap 53:49 Pitches 01:04:55 AITA 01:10:21 Teach Me Something 01:16:13 This Guy Rocks 01:18:47 Drafts #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

play date episode 120 we are doing the 120th episode webathon what's a webathon i think we're gonna i think lauren has all sorts of crazy stuff planned and they're gonna be guests and streamers and confetti confetti confetti i'm like fucking talking crazy today i got 120 problems and a podcast is one and i'm a i'm a white do you think you have more or less than 120 problems um they can be small they can be big more more than 100 really but i think i think about the same five ones every day like on a on a cycle i don't know if i have less than 100 yeah i was about to say like there's little ones it's like oh like uh wiping takes too long yeah or like i've got like a little bit of a cut on my foot that's been like kind of annoying i have a little bit of

a cut on my finger. He cut his finger during our shoot last night. Willie and I were hanging out and I tried to shotgun a beer and something with the Friday beers can,

this happened to me multiple, multiple times. It is like way tougher. It's tough as nails. It's actually a big part of our marketing. Right. Cans, cans so tough

you can drink it in the rough. Yeah. And my thumb got caught in the hole and it split my nail open and then just the side of my finger. And then Lucas had a bandaid

like ready to go like it was almost like he was like waiting for me to cut myself it was it was during the cold case to shoot it was pretty gruesome okay 120 pro i think i have i think i've 45 problems yeah you might you definitely no offense you definitely have more than that i i drunk texted a car salesman last night what'd you say so she she gave me the price on a lease yesterday and i texted her back the response i thought about it for a second i was like you know what i'm gonna be responsible that's probably too much money and i texted her i was like hi unfortunately i'm not gonna be able to pull the trigger on that today and then after our cold case you're on the way home i was just like if you can get it to this number i'll sign

today she texts me back and she goes hi good morning i'll look into it that's funny i mean it wasn't like late it wouldn't have been like it was like 10 uh 15 yeah yeah that's fine being in a waymo when you're teetering on blackout drunk is the craziest experience in the world you keep trying to ask for the charger yeah let me get a charger that was my impression of you asking for a charger my impressions clips are blowing up so i want to keep them going did that one do well no not at all but i really you know what i realized i think we should have just done like the one where we were doing it back and forth and just made the on screen like every contestant on jeopardy there's like too much like build up of me being like okay lauren give us a thing to do

an impression of i can't think of you made a face like that was like i asked well i just i'm just talking about think of anything good because she's brushing i'm brushing lip gloss you make my lip what's your favorite thing about being a girl lauren oh there's so many things really i love being a girl i think it would be nice it's very fun i'm glad i'm not a girl but i yeah i'm happy for you being a girl what's your favorite thing about being i mean not that there's anything girls can do that guys can't do if they want to but that's true I can think of one

what give birth that's true I'm not excited for that though I do want to have kids get plowed actually guys can do that too guys can definitely get plowed guys can guys can give birth now

definitely get plowed I guess yeah I guess you're right that there are there's nothing a girl can do Maybe like Smell nice Yeah What? No, you guys should be smelling nice

I smell fantastic now I do too, now I put that mandol all over myself Glenn says I wear too much cologne now Because every day I You're fox maxing Oh yes, I am fox maxing But it's You get like nose blind to it

So every day I add another spritz And I'm up to like nine uh lauren so what's your favorite part about being i was about to say you asked me then you didn't even come back and you didn't let me well i asked you and then you've and then i well i thought about it um i think it's doing my makeup and like getting ready for things like i feel like getting ready for girls is such an ordeal whereas guys are just like they throw their clothes on and they're out the door but girls it's like we have we make our little drinks or cocktails or wine and we're doing our makeup with our friends and we have the music going and

it's just like a whole ordeal that actually does sound like it's fun it's the best part of the we're gonna go to a bar and i was like come over we'll get ready at my house yeah kind of except i hate getting ready i hate getting dressed i hate getting dressed really yeah like i hate getting dressed i think i just said that didn't i multiple times i don't like it that's why like i don't like anything that makes me dress up because that's just like oh really way more of getting dressed that's my favorite it's like getting dressed but it's like three times as hard if you have to wear like a suit if we had like a formal in college or like going out on a date or something like that is that was my jam because i liked dressing nice no i like to i would one

pair of jeans i put on every day but we dress like slobs during the our normal lives wouldn't don't you think it's nice to everyone so i like put on a suit nope like when i put on that tux i get to buy a suit i got a wedding in two weeks and i don't i had to throw my suit out because my mold are they is the uh is the wedding paying for it my suit like send him an invoice hey i had uh i had to throw my suit out because it was moldy and i'm only buying this for you guys are you know wait can you rent a suit the same way you rent a tux that'd be kind of fun where are you gonna go somewhere cheap oh like go to men's warehouse that's what i was thinking Willie, this is something very admirable about you is that you're, I wish I had the fiscal responsibility that you have.

Because sometimes I, I don't know if that's totally true, but maybe, I think I spend so much money on like, you know how you're like, you're always doing shit. Okay, that's true. I spend so much money on concerts, sporting events. That's true. But you're buying like experiences. I'm buying like fucking nonsense. I don't buy, I don't spend, I haven't, I spend no money on clothes or anything. like a household.

I don't know. There's like nothing in my room and I don't have any. But I spend money on food and drinks. I was just going to ask whose wedding it is and where is it? My cousin MK is getting married to a guy named Dan.

Cut to Really? No. She's my second cousin actually but she lives two doors down from my parents. We grew up together in Maine. so it's cool and it's in like north shore massachusetts oh lovely yeah you're gonna make it up to me uh no probably not i'm flying into boston but then i'm going to maine two weeks

after that for like five days so that'll be fun okay lauren got to say what her favorite thing about being a girl is willie what's your favorite thing about being a boy uh pissing standing up that is pretty great yeah you ever tried pooping standing up tried it but uh took like an hour to get the shit off my thighs it's not yeah the pooping part it's not the hard part it's the cleanup a lot of people don't a lot of people don't think about the cleanup what's your favorite thing about being a guy farting farting uh pull my fingers very funny to me that's not very ladylike so i can get away with it yeah um i like uh probably watching braveheart as a guy i think it would

be a different experience as a girl yeah i've never seen braveheart either so does that make me a girl that's pretty good what do you guys wish you could explore about being a girl or what what are you curious if i was a girl i'd explore probably my own body well that's not what i meant to say i meant to say what do you i would like to go out to a bar because i i have a bad habit of paying for everyone around me's drinks i would like to maybe be on the receiving end of that every once in a while yeah like i got hit on at the bar a couple weeks ago twice it was the first time it's ever happened two girls told me they wanted to bang me jesus and i told flan and she said like what happened and i was like well i everyone i was buying drinks for everyone and

she was like yeah you bought them drinks they probably thought that that's like a yeah that's a that's kind of like the way that you started those interactions yeah yeah it was felt it felt good that does yeah oh so you did it oh it felt good them asking yeah got it got it do how often do you do guys like propose you to hook up how often do guys propose to you uh like if you're out do you get hit on every time uh i don't like not really i mean sometimes i feel like it's hard to distinguish if they're just like wanting to be a pro i guess if a stranger if a stranger is talking to i think it's probably of the opposite sex it's probably somewhat romantic or began that they approached you because of that yeah guys don't really be buying me drinks though i'm like

i don't want to pay for this shit and then i i'm like but i don't feel like talking to anyone drink like that one time we went to bodega that's true i bought you a drink this morning you're drinking a drink thank you yeah so your girl i guess chivalry isn't dead all the comments are gonna He'd be like, girl has life on easy mode. I want to go back to that place, Bodega. Yeah, we should go on Sunday. They have trivia on Sundays. Hear that?

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Me and Jane are going. Have you guys been to RVR on Abbot Kinney? That new Japanese place? Not new, but do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I heard it's great. We're going to go on Saturday night. I'm excited. That sounds fun. I love trying new foods. Me too. I tried the new Indian place on

Abbot Kinney. Very good. What's it called? What did you get? Bad Mash Oh yeah we already Talked about this I don't That's not a good name It's not a good name

I think that everyone Like ever since Like Liquid Death Came out Everyone's like No it's gotta be Like the anti I think it's like

An Indian word It's like got two A's in it Oh like Bad Mash Yeah Bad Mash It's Jamaican Yeah

Oh I guess it's Two A's in the mash Oh wait Okay I don't know There's other locations That looks good It does look good.

Remember when we got the curry on the airport? I don't know. That would be funny. Do you know that? We know Turk. We know a guy named Turk, actually, believe it or not. That looks like hot Turk. Yeah.

Not that Turk, if you're listening, not that you're not hot, but that guy is. Guys, the tattoo sleeve is hot. I've been... Would you guys ever get tattoo sleeves? No, I feel like maybe... Actually, I don't know if I have to. i wanted a tattoo for like a really long time same and in college i was i had the tattoo picked out and i was like about to go do it and then it was like i decided like i didn't really have

enough money so i held off and that tattoo was gonna have a zach bryan lyric in it oh my god and so now i am so so glad i didn't do that yeah that i'm like i will never be able to trust my present self because five down five years down the road i could be in the position i'm in now thinking about five years ago when i almost did that you know what i mean and i would be fucking devastated if i my friend chris and i almost got matching tattoos one night we were in portland and uh we wanted to get ever seen that keith herring thing where it's two guys with their arm running i think it's the best buddies logo yeah i didn't know that that actually in hindsight like that would have been weird getting the best buddies logo and not knowing it um we wanted to

get that so we walked into town at like two in the morning and nothing is open in portland that late and we went knocked on a tattoo place and obviously there was no one there i just walked home dodged a bullet i had i had a dream that i got a sleeve oh because i like it was like i think sleeves are cool it was a day it was the day after i got these two little guys um and i it was like i in the dream i went to my guy austin shout out and money cash shout out moki moki life on instagram if you live in la and you want tattoos he's sick he's in silver lake um but i i went to him and he just i was like yeah just give me whatever you want and then i like afterwards i looked in the mirror and it was like a huge thing all over my arm with like stripes and oh my god i'm just like

sleeve stream a thousand plus probably right yeah it's a lot of money they're expensive i mean these two little ones were like 200 total yeah using clarna to pay for your tattoo sleeve it's like a lyric in that funny feeling what also using clarna to pay for my tattoo sleeve you know that song no it's like all it's like uh like it's all like you know i heard that song It was like Bo Burnham, but then Phoebe Bridges has a cover. You know that song? Wait, what is it? There it is again, that funny feeling.

It's like obeying all the traffic laws in Grand Theft Auto V. It's kind of referencing all these weirdly dystopian. Yeah. Did you ever do that? You ever just drive around in GTA? No. I would purely go on crazy shooting sprees whenever i played that game in my now neighborhood dude like i would yeah when i i never had video

game i'm like didn't let us have video games growing up but i would like play gta sometimes at my friend's house and be like holy fucking shit you just run around the city and like murder murder mass civilian murders and then i get to la move to venice we live right by the skate park i go out there i'm like oh my god i used to drive four wheel or jeep wranglers through here and just slaughter yeah so it's that vivid it's like showing you running people yes you can shoot people you can walk up to a civilian and shoot him in the head oh i used to uh if you run up on someone with a knife they'll like run away but uh i would go do that to hookers and then just keep chasing them around the city i mean that is like i can't believe there was ever an argument

like video games aren't bad for you i don't think that's bad i don't think i think that like that's so bad little kids that are oh there's like 12 year olds running around like shooting up the boardwalk but i don't think there's any i don't think there's any like translation from that into like becoming that there's something fucked up about it though it's like it's validating like a fucked up part of our brains yeah it's so fun it like makes it like yeah like there's an outlet for this yeah which is i don't know there was a that there was a glitch where you couldn't die and so i would go into the army base and just let them shoot me but i couldn't die that's fun how far like could you get to the very edge of this like world in the game or would it just

like kind of keep going outside la forever like there was a some sort of like where did it end it was they did a really good job of never making it feel like you were at the end yeah yeah like it just like steered you yeah but like is there malibu in it yeah yeah there's like an air army air force base in malibu in the game though where you can like yeah i think that's taken from uh san diego no down by uh manhattan beach there's like there is like that like air force or navy base or something so i think they like put that over there but you know like pink house in the black house down on pch like those are in the game um my neighborhood's like in the game i think yeah i can yeah mine it definitely is

it's weird i think michael lives like near my house who's michael the main character oh i never i let i just literally ran around and shot people i never did like any missions or we used to hijack planes and i couldn't i can't play i can't fucking play video games i'm horrible yeah well because you didn't have an xbox yeah my mom fucking nerfed me for my life which actually i'm okay with yeah i don't know z is the only person i know our age that still plays a lot of video games like i have you know i buy the new xbox when it comes out every once in a while because like i'll hear about something and i'll play that for a week and then i just it's in my room i haven't i haven't touched it other than flight simulator for probably a year i bought it

for ncaa football yep and i was really excited about it and then i found out like scott doesn't like it that much so now i just have it i'm not gonna play by myself to me video games have always been a social thing totally and i thought scott was gonna like it but then he didn't like it that much the uh that is one of the worst feelings in the world is being like do you want to play fifa yeah and i was like nah let's just watch something i'm like yeah fuck yeah so we've been playing a long ass time when the when the new roommates moved in when uh mates we played video games for the first like week yeah because i think i was like trying to like you know like new guy you're trying to like entertain yeah whatever and then i think they we all just thought the

other one was obsessed with video games and then it kind of like it kind of fizzled out but it was all just like performative for each other like fifa and chill yeah we got at one point at one point i don't think there was anyone who could beat me in spot battle in skate three i'm really good at skate three i don't i never played it i never planed it i saw a guy he lost so badly in madden that the guy was like shit talking him and he was embarrassed so he just said like sorry man I'm 11 like I'm just learning the game and the guy was like oh dude I'm so sorry uh you're actually really good for your age

or whatever but they were both just grown men he was just embarrassed to say anything that's very funny what else is new with you guys we solved the DB Cooper case last night yeah we did solve DB Cooper's case I think I did a pretty good job drinking last night yeah you did a great job drinking

Dick Balls Cooper Dick Balls what did we land on it was Dick Buckus yeah that doesn't make any sense you can't spoil it have you guys been watching i don't know if we've talked about this do you guys ever watch like the true crime documentaries i think there's been a lot of new ones out recently not really no like on youtube no on netflix oh sometimes i watched the zodiac one and it's so clearly that one guy i don't think i know that one i mean yeah

but i was when i was researching like a lot of people were saying this documentary really is just skewed toward this one guy that's what it was they were this was like they dove deeply into one man yeah but the kids that he was friends with like his neighbors he they were like he took he took us to this beach disappeared for about an hour came back covered in blood and then that was a murder site i think yes he definitely killed someone but is does that mean he was the zodiac killer are separate things maybe yeah the whole thing what's so funny is like he he killed a guy he killed two people at one of the crime scenes and then in his classes he would teach them ciphers yeah and so it was just i don't know i think what's a cipher it is like a it's

like it i lyrically wreck you it is like symbols that you have to figure out what each one means and put it together. This is symbols. Lauren is getting up to change the water filter. God, fucking dumb guess. Why'd I guess that? She's obviously doing something else. What are you guys going to do for 4th of July?

Honestly, nothing. Joe and I are trying to figure something out. I always hate, sometimes I hate these holidays because there's pressure to go party and like you i feel like if i just wanted to take the day off i would feel like i'm missing out i'm going to this pool party thing in malibu nice but that's just like during the day on friday other than that it's friday fourth of july yeah oh i'm not i just mean that specific day i'm not gonna do i'm rotting this weekend i think yeah i'm gonna i don't know i'm kind of excited to

have some days here without work to like get my shit together i'm gonna like clean the world clean my room and i did a deep clean the other night it was so satisfying i'm finally washing my sheets maybe i'll finally hang some shit on my walls i need to me and mia's living room wall has been blank since we moved in and we have two prints that we want to hang up but i feel like it would look awkward to just put two up so we're we keep saying that we're gonna order more and then wait why would two look awkward because the wall is huge and like we want to do like a gallery gotta start somewhere i know we have to yeah it's just we're both lazy my move in my i i'm very proud of where my room is at decorative wise and it's because i slowly chipped away at it i don't

think you could just go buy yeah like i have stuff from a million different like times in my life because like every time i see something cool i'll get that and then add it yeah but now i'm now it's getting a bit much my walls are covered and my every like flat surface has a lego or like a trinket on it wait neither of you i got a new lego is someone coming in right now no oh neither of you yeah neither of you have the same child like you're not in your childhood bedrooms when you go home right nope yeah uh my mom's house i i don't have one oh yeah you don't have a bedroom not really i know i i like sure i've had a bedroom since i left for i like share mine with my sister basically my bedroom at my mom's house in portland i like technically grew up in but i didn't live

there until freshman year of college or high school maybe eighth grade yeah i i think i've said this before but my mom will complain she's like will you've got to get you still have two boxes of stuff in our basement and i'm i'm like i don't even have a fucking room in my i feel like at 24 having two boxes of stuff in my basement of my child of my family home yeah is reasonable that's kind of same with your basement's also that like it's huge it's ginormous yeah yeah that is the my dad is recreating the jack shack did i already tell you that you well you got to explain someone commented in there like what is that so yeah the jack the jack shack was a we'll put a picture of it right here but it's not where he went to jack well it probably is where he went

to jack i rarely jack there was way too there was way too much glass way too many people um it was a like shack mini pool house that my dad built that i like moved into uh i still had my bedroom obviously but i like preferred to stay out there and then my buddy like lived in the loft uh for a summer like his parents called my dad and were like is he like living at your house and he was like yeah he's kind of moved in like the cleaning lady like knew like referenced the loft as like brendan's room it was it was too much but it was like this nice little shack that we would hang out in because we could be like messy and we could drink in secret out there and get up get up to all sorts of stuff but it was tiny but it was like soup you could fit

if you really wanted to you could squeeze like 10 people in there it was awesome and then fun but my dad at the house in maine now there's like a little office that he works in that like looks out onto the ocean and they're uh converting it into jack jack two so they painted it the same color they're gonna put a loft in they're gonna put beds on the first floor and uh because right now it's such an old it's like an old like log cabin so if you like fart in your bedroom like someone like five bedrooms over could hear you that's awesome because it like the walls are so thin so he's when people are visiting i feel like you have to like tiptoe around at night so he's saying like guests can stay out there instead of having to feel like they're like a prisoner once

the sun goes down that's nice yeah i i was playing music in the shower this morning yeah just off my iphone speaker and scott texted me he's like yo can you turn that down i was like how is this possible like our bedrooms are on opposite ends of the but i guess both our windows are open it was going out and in his bedroom is he sleeping no he was working iphone speakers are loud i could not believe it i mean i like i don't think he was lying to me i just like can't believe it yeah he's like love love the 1975 maybe not while i'm at work and i was like what that's i i totally feel for him i do think the whole work from home thing is kind of like screwed us as a generation where yeah now your office is the house where it's like in it used to be like you could be loud in your

house and now people have to yeah like z quit his job and so he i feel bad because i like i like bump music in the morning in the shower and him and i share a wall so i'm worried that uh i'm worried that he can hear but he also claims like my tv is right where his head is when he's sleeping and like i watch tv like into the night and sometimes i'll text him like you have to be able to hear this right because i used to live in that bedroom and when uh cohen lived in that in my bedroom now if he was on his laptop i could like hear verbatim what show was happening and he claims he can't hear but they also they also can't hear when the dishwasher or washer is done so i genuinely think like the stim will they as in both tie both twins will be sitting there and the things

like but i think but i think but i think and they just like sit there and i have to be like your laundry's ready i can't tell if it's like they're putting up with it because they don't they just don't want to admit that they yeah maybe it's all part of it's like he can hear your tv but if he admits that then you'll know that he can also hear the dishwasher we'll be we'll be sitting on the couch and the washing machine is six inches behind his head and it'll be like and he just doesn't hear it i think it's like an inner ear thing like whatever receptor gets high pitch things they just neither of them oh yeah like a doll um you know what i've been getting recently in the last like month wait let me guess let me guess crazy ass um um wait what is the beginning trader joe's

groceries time no ringing in my ears every so often it's like uh you know i mean someone's talking about you really that's what they say they say if your ears are like i mean someone stepped on a crack like if i called my dad and he was talking about me he'll be like were your ears ringing we were just talking about you yeah it's like a saying that does exist but actually it's whenever it happens it kind of scares me because i feel like that shouldn't be happening i sometimes get really it feels kind of loud yeah it's weird it's very weird sometimes i get ringing in my ear and then i get really disoriented in the shower and i think i'm gonna die i think my ears are like fucked i blast the loudest music dude and i get the thing on my airpods all the

time where it's like turn your head like the headphone notification your headphone yeah you gave it like a future turn your headphones down i inform the future i am so fucking scared right now that was just me as you all know by now we've teamed up with bet mgm this season we'll be using bet mgm lines to make all our picks and we'll have special offers for our listeners each week if you haven't signed up for betmgm yet use bonus code playdate and you will get up to a fifteen hundred dollar first bet offer on your first wager with betmgm here is how it works tell them jack download the betmgm app and sign up using bonus code playdate then deposit at least ten dollars and place your first wager on

any game you will receive up to fifteen hundred dollars in bonus bets if your bet loses just make sure you use bonus code play date when you sign up don't forget if you have not signed up for betmgm yet use bonus code play date and get your 1500 first bet offer today let's get back into the episode laura now we're talking about glastonbury yeah you watch crazy dude i want to go i know it it's it's it looks like so great did you see what she posted about finn wolf all i've been watching no yeah she posted her story and she was like why is he 14 but i'm still in incredibly down crazy abrams is that insane this was like watching like an old stranger yeah this is a big um oh this was like an old thing i've seen this yeah weird no it's weird for sure but

uh he's a good looking remember we thought we were sitting with finn wolfhard oh we were at a we're sitting in a i don't know oh he's being billy billy and i were sitting in a suite at a jake paul boxing match oh wasn't he here recently yeah he was in here but there was like a curly hair kid in the suite next to us and we were like that's vin wolfhard and then we walked past and all we looked nothing like that sorry what were you saying um no i was just gonna say that yeah that's that's been a big like that's definitely very controversial like not okay that she said that but i'm not really sure like what the details are exactly because i think she might have been 17 at the time oh there's or she just turned i like a bandana so cute there's something

what the cast is so good uh like adults want to bang them i mean i've been saying that about for like a decade like jack jack uh drake wanted to drake was like hooking up with millie bobby brown they weren't hooking up he was being a like a creep drake apologist you see his new abs do you see his new abs they're insane no no no no i'm not i'm not excusing him i'm saying i don't think they were hooking up i don't know hey you in this city now lauren none of that shit they not like us they not like us certified lover boy certified pedophile have you seen his penis yeah it's huge it is it literally has like an iguana in his pants yeah there was a kid on the or it's like my high school it was like google it like she's like trying to pretend like she's

not googling oh wait was it that was it that one in the mirror where he's like flopping it around Yeah, okay, I couldn't remember if that was someone else. Pull up Drake abs, new Drake abs. Have you not seen the new abs? It's actually so funny. Laura, have you seen his new abs? Is he ripped? He got, like, implants.

No, he didn't. No, no, no, it's the mirror selfie. Like, that is the least real-looking thing of all time. Wait, really? Yeah, he got ab implants. I mean, he didn't, like, announce that, but everyone's like, those have to be fake. Not that. He's so funny.

Why would someone get that? Because he's insane. Scared? I mean... Can you imagine if I got that, like, over my tummy? You still have, like, a gut, but you have, like, abs on the end of it. No, no, no, no, no. Don't get it twisted.

I'm not excusing his creepy behavior. I just didn't know if they actually were hooking up, so I didn't want you to be throwing around that they were hooking up because I think he was just being creepy towards her. Yeah. Yes. Right? Yeah, you're probably right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. also if that was happening that wouldn't be hooking up that would be he would have been assaulting her yeah exactly look at all that liquor he got you see that uh boy did you see that teacher that was hooking up with her student yeah we've definitely talked about crazy yeah we did just talk yeah wait i was gonna say something when we were on a different topic and then we started going down a road that i didn't know we were something about glastonbury yeah i want to go i want to go all right i watched the what this is when you do that it's funny i was rearranging the handless rearrange

i don't think glassonberry is going to happen again until 2027 people say why i don't know i just read that they're not doing it next year for why would they not do it they're taking a pause uh not i want to go when jay-z headlined glastonbury oasis came out and said like they don't think a rapper should be headlining and he came out he played oasis to like mock them jay-z yeah that's an all-time video um it's taking well that was also funny that you see that like gracie covered the cure and then people hated it well it did not it didn't sound very good but then olivia rodrigo brought out the cure and did the same song olivia

sounded amazing olivia is such a good performer i love olivia rodrigo she's great have you ever seen that i just saw this today it was like an old i funny video i love i funny but it crossed my desk yeah there's a guy i don't even know what to google here lauren but google like uh singer catches beer video oh concert yeah this fucking this is the craziest video i've ever seen go to videos learn this is the craziest video i've ever seen in my entire life someone launches a cup of beer at him catches it is that insane is that not the coolest thing you've ever seen anyone do wow someone launches a cup of beer yeah somehow the cup stays full bink

that's hilarious yeah i love that what band is john coffee and john coffee oh he's from um john the the john coffee and the cups of joe oh john coffee is from this is from green mile that's funny oh it's just the band's called john coffee um so i'm going to chicago at the end of july for my birthday oh it's july now it's my favorite month happy birthday month lauren thanks happy cancer season um pardon oh good lord shout out to everyone with cancer i was like i thought that was october uh but happy cancer season happy cancer shout out to all my cancers why would they name it that well it's just a anyway what i was saying um i'm debating if i want to go to lala for at least a day because gracie's playing at lala but she's also playing

at the kia forum like a couple days after i get back from chicago and i can't decide whether wait when is she playing at the kia forum um wednesday august 6th and 7th it's like right next to the sofa it's like where the lakers used to play okay that's cool i saw john summit it's not called crypto anymore no it's a different venue it was the before they played at crypto they played at the forum like all the kobe in between staples and no staples and crypto the same building they just renamed it kia forums a separate arena forums and it's like where when the lakers like heyday was with like kobe and shack and stuff they were playing at the forum in inglewood oh what i always thought it was a staple set when did they play at the staple center

they moved there in i don't know probably 2012 isn't the stable center downtown yeah and that's downtown yeah kia forums inglewood inglewood yeah i saw chance the rapper there oh you did at the forum yeah the acid acid rap uh 10th anniversary tour honestly one of the best concerts i've ever been to yeah just playing all the classics it was great that's fun um but we should go to gracie would you go come with you yeah yeah yeah i of course yeah yeah i think it would be a better use of my money to see her at her own concert i feel like her at a festival she's she's playing at at lala gotcha on friday night when i'm gonna be in chicago a festival or more definitely more expensive yeah interest it's just like i would get a lot

more people out of it the lineups the lineups really good and if i i'm almost like god if i am going one day i want to just go to all four of it it's so good like doji sabrina carpenter uh oh it's gonna be so fucking asap asaps on sunday what day is she she's friday uh fry yay let me open it role model played lollapalooza last year i think um no she's damn this is it it's a really good lineup hacked there's a lot of like djs that i like on it again this year nice dominic fike i saw dominic fike at coachella it was like the best show i've ever seen in my life um yeah i don't know i just shit's so expensive though and it's like how do they even get that many people playing

at the same, that's gotta be like a logistical fucking nightmare. They're like a bunch of different stages. There's a lot of stages. No, I know what I'm saying, like, whoever's like, like, whoever's organizing a festival has gotta be one of the smartest people out there. It's like a rocket scientist. I mean, yeah, they also have like a

whole year. Did you ever watch that Woodstock 99 documentary? No, but I've seen the clips from it. That was fucking mayhem. Wait, I saw some gnarly stuff happen, right? it was it was didn't people die i think a couple people died but the one of the craziest i mean a lot of women got like assaulted it was yeah horrible but one of the craziest stories is

this guy was driving a van through the crowd and they said that there was a girl in there that was like completely passed out and guys were like getting in and out of the van it was disturbing like they it went it went fucking horribly wrong and then they blamed it on the artists like they booked like corn and fucking uh limp biscuit who are like crazy guys and then they like did their act which they always do and they were like you got them riled up and it's like yeah they're limp biscuit yeah yeah um but then so the craziest part is they the chili peppers were playing on the final night i think they were the last person before they were supposed to be this like special guest and the chili peppers were maybe the chili peppers were the special guest

i don't know but they were gonna play uh under the bridge and the they handed out candles to everyone so now all these people that are insanely rowdy and are like dehydrated and don't have any they haven't gotten any like food or water or whatever now have fire and they're all on like acid and so they set the whole place on fire and then instead of like they probably could have managed it and then red hot chili peppers played fire by another band and people lost their fucking mind and they burnt the place to the ground pull up woodstock 99 aftermath that was kind of l like it literally looks like it looks like war torn like syria oh god it's insane go to that one where the bus is flipped yeah like set all these things it's insanity yeah they were like looting and

it was madness yeah how does a car even get in there like that that's what i'm saying it was like complete and utter mayhem you should watch that documentary it's one of the craziest on netflix yeah you guys didn't watch the travis documentary right travis scott yeah no he like kind of got away with that no i like yeah like like it didn't affect like i feel like he didn't affect his success at all yeah i guess i don't know i feel like i haven't really heard anything from him lately i think he's still i think like astroworld like didn't stop like i think he like is doing it again i mean now i don't it's not his fault he's not organizing the thing but it was like crowd crush yeah what there's a documentary about that incident came out a few weeks ago um

no i think he is he's definitely partly to blame totally but i think like the i mean the main problem was usually at places like this when there's such a big crowd there are uh no more than like there's no more than one barrier you can't have it on all three sides or else there's nowhere for people to go like on either side so like there's so much momentum that if you were on a barrier you would you have it would be like someone like hitting you with a car yeah i don't really know anything it's so gnarly like 10 people died yeah you're supposed to have places for when that happened when that movement happens they can like disperse one way or the other but it was they were trapped on all sides besides the back i just can't do it even at even i used to be a i used to

be a guy going up to the front of the show i'm finna be in the pit i just can't do it no i can't either i have to be in the back or i like i need to be able to breathe and like yeah i like being ga but i like just standing in the back like a i've only been watching his kids at the yeah yeah yeah i've only been at like mellow concerts or one where everyone had a seat yeah i've been in some rowdy ones in my day the i think that where i was sitting at the tyler children's concert was supposed to be where ga was but they had seats yeah i don't think they really do ga at the bowl should we road map we're going to camp next week

I love camp two weeks I'm going to miss Mac DeMarco in August but I want to go to the one in San Bernardino that's where I saw Creed I saw Creed in San Bernardino

what were you going to say I was going to say I was just thinking about I would have been getting back from Samoa this week Oh my god That's crazy I was supposed to leave the first week of July two years ago

Wow Do you think you would have come back here? Uh probably not God that's crazy Imagine how different our lives would be I mean I don't know maybe Maybe I would have come back here We wouldn't know each other

Yeah like this podcast wouldn't exist Podcasts that don't exist God that's kind of scary to think about Yeah like this is i was this close to this and this and uh some other stuff or like this is probably my favorite thing we do here so i can't imagine yeah i don't know if i would even like work here still honestly it would uh that's crazy checking one box away from guys guys spam spam uh peace core l actually peace

core peace core w because they would have they would have taken you away yeah i just i just meet those lucas's brother's girlfriend from the yeah yeah

ghost hunting she was a peace corps yeah can you are there are there rankings in the peace corps when you can you be like an officer no i don't think so you're you

were gonna be in the infantry god samoa is beautiful can you i mean yeah on the back of our souls for sale shirt lauren i don't know if you noticed this uh one of the tour stops is samoa and then the next tour stop is uh regular samoa no one's american one's american samoa and then oh i didn't i don't think i noticed that oh that's so funny yeah i would have lived in uh that that's crazy how many

little tiny islands that are just lauren go see tuvalu right there that's the smallest country in the world where uh top left tuvalu that's a that's its own country yeah zoom in on it it's fucking it's like a strip of land this is in lauren do you know what this continent is called with all these with all these islands and australia no do you know what it is nope oceania that's a continent really well australia is mainly the continent but uh growing up they taught us just it was australia totally but i guess it's kind of rebranded it's called oceania I believe. What?

Yeah, isn't that crazy? It's like one tiny little... This is a country. Yes, Tuvalu. I believe it's the smallest country in the world. Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad? I get it.

I'm Siaya and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today, I'm still figuring it out. Somehow, things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. I guess you could make an argument that, like, North Sentinel Island.

I just realized I haven't done this in so long. I used to drop these little guys around. That's a good point. The Vatican is the smallest. But that actually might be smaller than the Vatican. Lauren, can you Google what's smaller, Tuvalu? or... That's where I would have lived. Wherever Lauren drops that, John. Wait, drop your guy.

She tried. No, no, it was working. You can see exactly where I would have lived. You gotta drop it on one of the blue parts. That's where I would have lived. Oh! That actually looks pretty sick. Wait, Willie, there's an exact version

of you. Somehow it's like in a wormhole. Oh my gosh, that water. Okay, I kind of feel bad now. that i didn't need to go what were you what would you have been doing there i would have been an english teacher my dad was an english teacher in taiwan i actually think i would like teaching maybe someday i uh i don't think they would let me teach because they wouldn't trust that i would double check anything before i teach them it cut all your kids come home with just like wild

misinformation like where are you learning why did you want me to look up google what's the smallest is tuvalu bigger than the vatican city oh vatican city point yeah i get yeah or not i guess yes tuvalu is number four monaco is that doesn't i guess that counts what is now row that's also an ocean so i guess i was wrong it's the fourth smallest god one of these days i just want to i want to go the whole time without saying something that's not true i'm coming from my heart's in the right place i agree i just wanted to tell you guys about sitting right there your heart's his heart's in the wrong place it's like a tumor on the side should we roadmap it up guys yeah yeah how do you say it like that dude my back i gotta pee real quick yeah i gotta get a

massage soon my back i've been like sleeping on it weird i also think i need a firmer mattress i've realized um i texted my dad today because i get like the 18t bill yeah sent to my phone for your grandpa's phone i said at until at&t bills up 100 bucks this month i'm sure one of g and g grammy and grampy got sold a new phone and he goes it's probably my new phone so i guess he finally caved he had an iphone 6 with tape covering the front camera because he thought the government was dude dads love old phones my dad my dad refuses i think he just recently or no he just for the longest time didn't want to get a phone without the home button he was like why would i getting my dad into an iphone out of a blackberry was painful blackberries are honestly

pretty sick do you remember playing the games brick breaker brick breaker blackberry we were at a wedding and and we were taking photos and my dad was like uh hey we'll use my phone we were all like no on his blackberry no no on his on his iphone 6 it's like the camera that's the size of like a ball of lint yeah yeah yeah it's funny god this game was so fun i remember i remember being at uh sean's basketball games when he was like six years old and i would just be in the stands playing on my mom's thing and then like passing it to like this other girl who wanted to play it brick breaker was goaded all right this episode is brought to you by skims i have always said this men's underwear yes stinks literally here's the issue it like it always

rides up on me i don't like how comfortable it is i don't like how it fits shopping for it's kind of like embarrassing and like i just don't trust them i never trusted them and then i found skims i was wearing skims long before we were even sponsored by them they are fantastic i like the five inch cotton brief but sometimes i go with the five inch stretch brief it's kind of it's kind of however i'm feeling um i didn't know that they made stuff for men until you started getting them and boy am i glad i found out this shit can i say shit go nuts this shit is comfortable and they don't ride up yeah they stick on your not literally but wherever you set them that's where they're going to be for the rest of the day so guys shop skims men's today at skims.com and please let them

know that we sent you after you place your order select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop-down menu that follows get some skims your balls and thighs will thank you and ass and ass let's get back into the episode i was gonna say though before we get into this sorry that this mug that lauren said oh that's a cute mug was some company just like made merch out of like our sayings and sent this it says emptying the feelings tank oh which i think was like his way to say yeah crying or something they just just that one they just sent that one they sent some like some other ones they're all kind of but yeah they were kind of but oh but it was yeah i thought they were kind of but i should probably take that out why what if they're listening i like

that one sorry they're kind of they're not but leave all this in all right we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitch followed by our pitches and then we're gonna do am i the asshole yes then we're gonna do this guy rocks this guy no we only sing it once now we have to do it in this in this we have to do in the rm and not the oh i think it's i thought they were saying the other way around build it up okay we're gonna do this guy rocks um and then we are going to do everyone's favorite segment teach me something and then we're going to do stereotypes for your state that don't exist we're going to tell you about where you live and then we're going to do pixar movies that don't exist and then we'll wrap up with rusty's song

of the day arsad i think we're at 3200 followers again once we hit 10 000 two of you guys are getting a hundred and one dollars that is more money than i can even think about right now what's the biggest amount of money you ever think you'll have in your bank account fifty dollars lauren eight wait it's kind of i feel like there's an empty hole inside of me oh my god there's a pause there's a there's like an i want to hear about okay anything being inside of you empty there's emptiness inside of me because we haven't sang the sky rocks that feels so wrong you could cry

i'm gonna cry i almost cried i don't know if i can wait that long i closed the door and i almost cried at my desk yesterday i was so scared about just being about having to drink two days in a row but last night went great i actually can i be honest about one of our sponsors i i was a little skeptical about last call i drank 12 beers last night and i feel completely fine i actually do take it every weekend this is not an ad read even no i don't even are they sponsoring this episode no free ad read last call try last call.com i don't even know if they have any more ads i'm not sure either but they are ad our ads team we love you but last episode had one ad on it we've been doing we're doing the best numbers we've ever done and there's no ads on

well we got three on this so so like 70 000 listens a week and and we had one ad yesterday all right can i read can i read our pitch pitch pitch pitch from wait can you read the one from yesterday that you opened but you didn't get to um well i already read one of hers so i'm gonna i'm gonna like wait a little bit are we doing mailbag today mail back okay no next week well I mean, we only have two things open right now, so we might as well space it out. I think that's fair. You know? To wait for more things to build up.

If one of you guys sends us a package with literally anything in it. Maybe not seven rubber bands. I still think that was like a serial killer's calling card. The rubber bandit? Seven rubber bands and a weird poem about... I like that little thing about the reptile. Throw us your sweeper, Lauren. okay this pitch is from spence and avery um a lot of duo pitch i know i actually love that they say

hello batman robin and alfred alfred alfred robin the classic trio alfred alfred and robin who's alfred nobody wants nobody wants the spotlight okay they say wait sorry one second i heard the funniest thing of all time apparently there's an episode of like a batman comic or batman cartoon or something where another guy comes to town named man bat and he asked batman has to be like i know that one or like i'm there's we already have a bat really yeah that's awesome sorry lauren no it's okay they say what is the worst part about going on vacation oh this is good it brings the worst out of everyone that's actually a good point living out of your suitcase uh the worst part about going on vacation is realizing that you thought

this was gonna make you feel better and all your problems were gonna kind of go away for a week but they're all still there okay those are good um that right they say the existential dread of the last day of the trip true the day is ruined to begin with it's the last day of your trip before coming back to work i present to you the error plane an airline you can book your flight home with it will 100 be delayed and canceled buying yourself more vacation as you can tell your boss sorry flight got canceled i can't make it back for monday the air does that work what would that work or would they just penalize you like another day of pto if you're like my flight got canceled i think it depends i think here they'd probably be understanding um the airplane provides employees

with additional time off as it is the airline's fault you couldn't make it back to work allowing you to show your boss the flight information and can wholeheartedly say that there is nothing you could have done love the pod recently got my long distance girlfriend listening and we try to watch the clips together love you guys p.s rusty you are my dream man i love the top to bottom great pitch really brought it home at the end there i love it i love the idea of like sending your boss like sorry i got canceled and it's like it's booked on error lines yeah yeah i like that a lot I love that a lot. I think that it would be kind of a scheduling.

It would be confusing to plan around that. Agreed, but I've definitely had a few where I've just been like, God, I kind of hope this flight gets fucking fucked. There was one in college that I was just praying. It kept getting delayed. I was just praying it got canceled. Well, I'm confused then because you have to pay for your air flight, and then you also have to pay for an actual flight home.

No, no, no. I think it's like... You probably don't have to pay for the Air Flight. It always takes off. Maybe it's like a subscription-based thing. Yeah, yeah. Or it just always takes off later. A day later, yeah.

Okay. I like it. I love it. I'm in. Randy! Double it. Randy. Who's Double It?

Double It. I'm Double It. You're Randy. Wait, Double It is kind of a good name. Double It would be like a good Harry Potter character. Yeah. Oh, God. I feel like I'm going to crap my pants one second.

Just keep going. Dude. No, I'm going to fight through it. Why did you say dude? What is it? You're not doing anything wrong. Thank you. Is that a new shirt, Will?

No. Oh. I feel like you don't wear that that much. I feel like I do wear it. Hey, we're all in black. Rainbow Kitten Surprise shirt. This is a new shirt. No one said anything.

Rainbow Kitten Supplies. New shirt. I'm in. Is that your pitch? No, that's a real store in New York City. Oh, really? Yeah. The RKS subreddit is just like once a year there's like a viral guy post.

That's awesome. Google Rainbow Kitchen Supplies. Is it supposed to be like an RKS thing? No. Yeah, see, the first thing is like the RKS subreddit. Oh, that's really funny. Yeah. No, and I believe they recently did a thing like when they had a show in New York where

they hid tickets or like they hide tickets in each city for people to find. That's fun. And then they did it at Rainbow Kitchen Supplies. That's fantastic. Oh, that's so funny. All right. What is the worst part about vaping? It's bad for you.

It's probably going to kill you. Yeah. Hold. You look... It makes... It's kind of embarrassing. Okay, never mind. Take it all back.

There's no bad part. This is fucking sick. It's not for guys. It's kind of... It's fruity, flavored, and it's not very manly. Men used to smoke cigarettes. Men used to have hammer. They used to have hammer.

They used to smoke cigars. Yeah. Introducing vaping for guys. Yeah. It is a... vape shaped like a big old cigar and it still tastes fruity to you but it puffs out like nasty cigar smell okay so everyone around you thinks that's a real man but on the inside you're still getting like raspberry cotton ice yeah this is good like at the bar you pull a cigar out of your

pocket and hit it yeah oh those are actually good i used to sit in my room and just practice vape tricks when i was a kid that's pretty fucking awesome you want to say a ghost sure and this is not this is not us endorsing uh and encouraging vaping by the way don't do it it's bad for you can you do o's no oh i never spent time practicing vape tricks mr cool i didn't realize you were the fucking man you all you had plans every weekend some of us were sitting in a room practicing well what's your pitch uh oh well i have one more vape related thing i got it my friend hans bought me a box mod vape uh when i was he was he was older and so he got me a box mod vape and i was only using it for tricks i wasn't inhaling and i kind of didn't

totally understand the concept of nicotine and then one night i was inhaling it and i didn't know what was happening to me because i started like feeling awful yeah that is funny all right continue sorry no i like hans hans shout out hans croft hans croft they all every guy you've ever met has a crazy name i didn't realize that until i went to college it's insane and i would tell i would but even my buddies at college have every person every person you've ever crossed paths with has an insane name hans lauren pull up pull up hans croft maine hans has a hans has a vintage store in maine uh cr yeah a ft hans croft maine portland maine hands craft hand crafts uh go to images

okay never mind i don't know i don't remember what the store is called but i'll put it right here um my pitch is the biker man it's like spider-man but it's a little attachment of your bike i've been i am just sick of having to start every morning by going up the biggest hill of all time on my single speed bike totally so i want a little thing that just shoots like a little suction cup out of the front of my bike and i can latch onto one of the cars going up and just take a little ride because i it's like humiliating the humiliating part is that i have to gain so much speed to be able to do it that i look like a fucking hardo where i have to go like like it just looks like i'm just like having a freak out and uh freak off burger freak oh when

are we doing the burger freak off everyone wants it yeah we have to should we do it this weekend you guys want to do it tomorrow i can't i can't tomorrow i could thursday you guys can't squeeze in an hour for the burger freak off tomorrow dude it could go all night yeah it's gonna go for hours dude should we should we like host a party around the burger freak off yeah i'm done oh dude we can just go to willie you just have a barbecue and then everyone goes in the alley and we see you can throw out the furthest oh i see you mean like of our friends i thought you meant of like playmates playmates can come too well i'm not gonna get in my address but we can go to like a park and do a burger when i posted will's address on the playdate story on accident

that was all time i was like in the shower and you just posted my a straight up picture of my mail i was trying to post a picture of lauren with the cute dog and then there were because i will and i were taking a phone call from who were taking a meeting from will's house and i posted a picture of my ipad and under it was will's full name and his address yeah i think we should like go to oakwood and grill and people can come i had your i had i took will's bike to the post office like last week or the week before how was it it it rides like a dream but you're right that so i was trying to get up onto nielsen like by jameson's and even that like tiny hill was crazy and then to start are you supposed to like be like i was just where a car

would be on the bike is that where you should be in the bike lane okay i was just where a car would be at the light and then when it started i had to put all my weight it took me like three seconds to do one full rotation. Yeah, do you stand up? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That bike's awesome. It's a great bike.

All right, I love the Bikerman. Should we hear... Wait, what was your pitch? Vaping for guys. Oh, right, right, right. I like that, yeah. Am I the asshole? Okay.

Please stop. Men are tough, but they're in their girlfriend's ear going... How cool, guys. Bust. Ew. Actually, don't. stop oh all right that's gross can we'll do one more

oh how uncool guys bust oh boy my buttons we're just redoing a clip not my gumdrop buttons clip this clip this okay lauren you're on a completely normal date with your boyfriend of months and once it's time to make love he comes and he makes that noise breaking up immediately Yeah, he just does that. He comes and he tries to do like a stadium whistle and can't do it. Oh, oh.

All right, we're going to light it up. He goes like this. He goes. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. Breaking up on the spot. Breaking up. He goes. Breaking up.

I'm breaking up with you, girl. Okay, okay. this name of the asshole she included her name so i'm assuming that she wants me to say it because she said my name is maggie okay hello bears beats battlestar galactica bears beats barnard bartles bartles bartles i'll be bartles okay my my do i have a horrific story for you my name is maggie and i've said something before but i just had a night out and need advice immediately am i the asshole for calling a friend large on her birthday yeah love you to death mags not looking good so far okay so the other night it was a friend's birthday wait is this the girl

that peed on that guy's face i don't know that was crazy though that was that was so funny getting all hot and bothered again getting cold and unbothered so the other night it was a friend's birthday and we all decided to do something i had previous plans so i showed up to the function late drinks begin to flow and i'm the biggest lightweight known to man i had two drinks and i genuinely felt drunk while everyone else was on four and completely fine the birthday girl comes over to me and says she likes my shorts that i'm wearing and asks where i got them i'm usually roughly large my friend is bigger than me so my drunk stupid self says i don't know if they'd have her size oh obviously it does not go over well and almost everyone gets mad

at this point i've had another half of a drink and i'm really not there i love how she's just like emphasizing how hammered she was um and i'm really not there a closer friend of mine is trying to defend me saying that i'm just drunk but no one believes her because i've only had two and a half drinks the night ended ended awkwardly with a lonely uber home and sending horrible selfies to my crush am i the asshole no no yeah yes unfortunately you met you slipped you were drunk you slipped up that is there's someone drifting a car in our office um i would say maggie that you slipped up you i'm assuming you apologized you didn't mean it that way but you should always err on the side of

just you just tell them and let them find out that they don't have their size yeah that was uh an unfortunate you know mishap but definitely i think you are the asshole if i asked you where you got those jeans and you told me you don't think they'd have my size i would go up to the roof and throw myself off yeah in your defense i also think depending on how sensitive this person is like obviously if it's your friend you're not meaning to be like oh you're you're large like you're big but i feel like in the moment she could have just been like oh that's not what i meant and then no i mean like i feel like that yeah like scott will be like can i borrow this music i don't know if this will fit you because like i am like a little bit bigger than him yeah like i wouldn't

ever be like what the fuck yeah i i don't know i think that there's there was probably some over exaggeration i like how how aware this crew is of how many drinks people have all yeah she was like i've had two and a half but all the other ones have had four yeah i've never been with you and known how many beers you've had i'm an enigma bro dude on sunday i'm diffy on your uh your at your barbecue i i think i had like six beers and i like none of them did anything to me really beast no no no just normal like i am i'm a lightweight but it was just like one of those days where i'm like you're well because did you have a big burger no but i ate a lot of chips and guac yeah and like three four cookies five that hot dog was gas dude we i'm very very excited

about my new grill yes i've you know it's like one of those things like you're always like how of people get like become like i'm i want to be like a grilling guy and i'm like that's just not me and then i got this girl and i'm like i want to play with this every day you should get into like you should learn how to like make steaks and stuff totally yeah you should have a steak tonight whole foods whole food steaks are like pretty affordable i'm gonna have a steak freak off i know yeah what do you think you could throw further a steak or a burger steak frisbee it yeah i think i think you think heavier is better at that weight class yeah you know what i mean like i still think i could fucking launch a burger i got i can i keep

it in the wrapping no we've gone over this it's got to be a because the ingredients are gonna go flying and it's which way the what where the patty goes what if like by some like crazy thing like the onions go the furthest does that count no it's the patty we went over so then why are we even throwing the rest of the burger because that's part of the sport yeah you almost i think the idea is gonna be to like get your middle finger on the patty and really try to isolate the patty like you want it it's like a rocket ship where you want to ditch the compartments once you can and let that thing fucking i don't know i think i'm just gonna like hammer throw it as hard as i can all right we'll see burger freak off is happening on july dude should we do it on should

we do it this weekend oh why don't we should do it during the week so we can just take the day because it's fucking work yeah yeah let's go let's do it on monday after the record i don't know if i can do that maybe maybe we'll figure it out wait there's a new podcast editors get him to do your work i bet if he's a really nice guy glory days yeah he's great though um should we do tms teach me something i'm very very excited about my tea come on so my i have a brother if you will what uh i know it's you sam i have a brother if you will oh if you sam i get it and he has been watching this ken burns baseball documentary apparently it's made up of nine innings which are each two hours so it's an 18 hour documentary and he struck gold last night

oh it's so funny do you know about merkel's boner of course google merkel's boner i want i think the funniest part about this no but i'm you don't you don't want to talk about it first no no i wanted to google because i think maybe the funniest thing about it is just that it's called merkel's boner merkel's boner was a notorious base running mistake committed by rookie fred merkel of the giants against the cubs he failed to advance a second on what it should what should have been a game-winning hit led to a fourth plate second and a tied game cubs won the makeup game and won the pennant by one game more of the story is apparently they called messes mess ups back then boners so that's funny he sends me this merkle pulls boner yeah it's like that's like the injury

report he pulled his boner he pulled he sprained his boner i mean it's like merkle pulls boner wait he failed to touch second or he failed to advance to second he run past it he no it looks like he like got scared and stayed on first because it ended in a it ended in a pickle right no i think he was on first base there was a game-winning hit and he didn't run to set he didn't run all the way to second so they got a force out which invalidates the run that crossed oh my god so because he if he had just touched the base like he just stopped he kind of like like because it was like oh the game's over they win but because he didn't touch second base oh my god they get if you get a force out then the run doesn't count it's so crazy to me that baseball

was occurring in 1908 i know wait i gotta there's also a video these teams were even existing at that time yeah pretty snapchat video that you sent was really baseball start when 1894 seriously i bet what's what's funny so when did baseball start 1869 that's crazy wait where is it the the red stock red socks red stockings that's insane I used to go to Red's games for sick alright have you guys heard about

the ether epidemic no so I think it was in Ireland but basically ether was like something that had let me just pull it up I'm going to butcher this sorry

don't mind me if i indulge in a nice mug zero okay the ether ether epidemic refers to a 19th century phenomenon primarily in the mid to late 1800s when the recreational inhalation of ether became widespread especially in parts of the u.s and ireland originally used as a surgical anesthetic uh ether was cheap legal and easy to obtain which made it popular among those seeking intoxication particularly in regions where alcohol was heavily taxed or prohibited in places like ireland where the temperance movement was our temperance movement discouraged alcohol ether became a substitute uh despite being far more dangerous when inhaled or ingested so the i can't what what like sect of christianity was very anti-alcohol but this was like a loophole to

just still get fucked up but not be sinning yeah uh unlike alcohol ether could be inhaled for a rapid euphoric high but it was highly flammable and could cause unconsciousness addiction or death so the flammable part was really funny to me when i was watching this video by horses if you're not subscribed to horses i think it's the best youtube channel out there and he was saying it was like shockingly flammable like if like a flame was like in the same room as it it would like set the whole room on fire um but basically another funny thing that horses told me was it was uh so the guy is having a schizophrenic episode the horses told me uh but like kids would get it as like a treat like you'd go into they'd go into a store to like buy

something and the storekeeper would like give him a little shot of ether wait wasn't like a rag you'd like put on you can drink it or you drink it yeah you could drink it or inhale it and apparently you uh your skin and hair would smell like it for weeks after you drank it so they said like some towns in ireland just the whole place smelled like ether because everyone was doing it smelled like it that's very funny is that insane yeah you know what the ether dome you got ether dome i got ether dome no i've been to the ether you're just on fire passed out girls going to town on you no it was like it was like where the first ever surgery with anesthesia oh yes it was in boston yeah yeah that must be why it's called the ether dome then it is because it was the first

medical use of ether yeah that's very interesting it's pretty sick all right should we do it but the wait google ether dome painting there's like a crazy no i feel like we've looked this up we Really? Yeah. When were we talking about the Ether Dome? I think I may have made that exact same joke, too. Yeah, we've looked up these exact ones. Oh, yeah.

I think maybe this was my fun fact or my teach me something when I went to the Ether Dome. Should we do this guy rocks, this guy rocks, this guy rocks today. Hey, hey, I said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard. He rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard. there's rocks in my yard lauren pause this immediately and i mean immediately okay this is a guy uh named garfield village and he's a funny name for a guy he is going to motivate us so let's let's follow all of his instructions we want to do me motivates you in one second take a deep breath exhale

you're the coolest man in the world do not forget about this are you ready to take on the fucking why did we do this at the beginning of the podcast i didn't i didn't want to spoil it yeah one second i was take a deep breath excel you're the coolest man in the world do not forget about this kind of sounds like he says men I think he does say that. You are the only 60s guy. I am the only 60s guy in the world. I am Jump.

I love him. Is this his whole page, I wonder? I don't know. I saw this this morning, and it was... He's a world champion swimmer. That doesn't look like him. That used to be him. Right, right.

He's a 26-year-old Spurs fan like his dad. I am a world champion swimmer. Yeah. Respect. It's like two truths and a lie. All right, Willie. What do you got for me, bud? This is...

Shut down for two hours, so... So the highway was shut down for traffic, and so this lady made the most of it. When you're a mid-sized business, you need every competitive advantage you can get. Like an AI solution that works for you, not against you. SAP Grow is built with AI embedded at its core.

working across every system and it's ready to go from day one so you can hit the ground running bring it with sap grow ai cloud erp for any size business wait whitney was just telling me about enchilada sauce yesterday Yeah. It's good. So things didn't work as expected, but she got enchiladas. I love her.

I'm obsessed. I'm going to be honest. I wasn't on board with her at first. Enchiladas, I sealed it. Yeah, sealed the deal. I would like to seal her deal. I love that. Not that.

You want to seal her deal? No, not like sexually. Like, I want to make enchiladas and dance and stuff. All right, Lauren, do you want to start with stereotypes for your state that don't exist or Pixar movies that don't exist? Stereotypes. Okay. Tee it up, Willie. Wait, you got to say this one.

I don't know how this is. Okay. These are stereotypes for your state that don't exist. If you were from Virginia, your stomach hurts. Am I doing this right? I didn't get this one. People from Georgia read right to left, and then they use context clues to figure out what the hell they're reading. Got it.

If you're from Maryland, you don't have any baseball cards. Sorry if I fucking ruined your... People from New Hampshire's vision gets blurry when it's about to rain. Interesting. If you're from Iowa, your car is parked illegally in the parking lot. people from new mexico can never point true north or else they get really disoriented if you're from vermont you are too hot floridians both men and women look better with the skin fade right if you're from new mexico

i need a dollar really bad i am really can i get a dollar if you're from i should have picked a more populated state no i like that texans can never tell a lie or their joints start to ache what is this what did you do any for illinois i thought it'd be fun i did um do you say people from illinois get turned on by the dark what how do you say true say the name of your state illinois yeah i think there's like something like i feel like jerry almost says illinois illinois is that like a legit illinois illinois you kind of say it a little bit jerry's like full-blown like illinois yeah all right pixar movies yeah i just did three of these yes all right cool these are pixar movies that don't exist

kiln uh kid realizes that anything he makes out of clay comes to life when he fires it in the kiln so he makes a friend out of clay and takes him to school and then uh everything's going well but then the clay kid becomes more popular than him and out of frustration he shatters the boy and then he has to put them back together i like that a lot uh flurry flurry and his family of snow leopards live on the peak of one of the highest mountains in the world they spend their days sledding and having fun until the first humans begin to summit and very quickly the mountain becomes a wasteland they grow to despise the humans but when flurry sees a hiker get dangerous frostbite and resign himself to death the snow leopards band together to sled him all the way

down the mountain to safety when they set the body down to a stunned village flurry then also sets down a bag of trash and the villagers realize that what they're doing up there is destroying the home of these leopards and they change for the better that's fantastic man's best friend when a when a family's beloved pet dog scooter passes away the inventor dad puts all of his projects on hold to invent a contraption that allows him and his family to go visit the dog in dog heaven once he succeeds he realized that he can connect people with their long lost pets and shares the machine with the whole town to let them reconnect with their long lost pets the government is trying to steal the technology from him for military

purposes and he has to outrun them love that timo timo is a livered livered timo timo is a lizard living a normal lizard life until one day in a game of tag during recess his tail gets pulled off at first it's no big deal it'll grow back but after a few days timo realizes his isn't growing back he tries everything gluing the old one back on making one out of leaves etc but nothing works so timo kills himself oh well that's very deep is that too much you don't get it it's extremely deep it's a message it's extremely deep um starry night a man realizes realizes that he jesus a man realizes that he can go into any painting and explore that world we watch him go into portraits of famous historical

figures to talk to them about their lives have a drink in the town of starry night and go on a date with mona lisa he gets so addicted to exploring these other worlds that he's neglecting his relationships in the real world and then he has to come back and mend them i like that kind of reminds me of night at the museum when they like go into all the little yes exhibits i think i may i think i may have i haven't i don't know what that is no it's not like this i've never seen that i don't know what you're talking about stenbiller it's so good bear heart amelia earhart is alive on this island and finally stumbles across a bear and they become in love and the bear decides to help her rebuild her airplane they get back up in the air she's now 80

and with the help of her trusty bear amelia earhart and the bear circle the world they land in New York City to the biggest applause on record. It's on the Richter scale. I'm sorry that Timo killed himself. No, I thought that was very deep. I'm sorry Lauren didn't get it. I just feel like Lauren didn't get it.

I think it's just too much for a Pixar movie. It's very deep. It's very deep for a Pixar movie. Alright, we're going to wrap up with Rusty's song of the day. go follow it on spotify rusty songs of the day today i got back to friends by somber great song

i just found it this morning i saw him do it on jimmy kimmel live love that tonight show and those are different things the kim or sorry jimmy fallon got it the tonight show it's not live then not live not live um it's fine and it's about uh getting he broke up with his him and his girlfriend broke up and uh he's talking about like how can we go back to friends when we have shared a bed and i really like it there's another song by him i really like undressed oh that is a good one too there's a the so the performance is really funny he's like fucking freaking out at the end like really going really getting oh i think i've seen yeah and then he like sir he serves face at the end what's that mean yeah all right what should they comment laura baseball oh card comment

spam 7-eleven slurpee because 7-eleven day is coming up spam 7-eleven slurpee oh yeah and spam spam burger freak off again burger um 7-11 days actually when this comes out it's in like four days and i think i missed i think i missed that last year i gotta get back on it i remember a guy brought his bong one time and filled it it's funny all right we love you guys have a great rest of your monday have a great tuesday and then we'll see you guys bright and early for our Wednesday episode and hopefully we have done the burger free cough by then so we can show you burger free cough for 50 years Canadians have wondered what the names of Ikea furniture mean like Natopa the guardrail for children's beds Natopa means giving your

favorite person room to grow it means their safety and your piece of no in swedish not means night monkey mom he's back ikea 50 years of swedishness at home look he's wearing little pajamas so cute