Will & Rusty's Playdate - willy's computer wife

Episode Date: October 20, 2025

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 willie can you can you do your your dark web thing again i want to explore that yeah so i guess i've been uploading pictures of my penis on the dark web for money and change and like um just beer money and stuff but i don't know i guess i've been uploading pictures of my gooch and nuts and caca wheelies i okay so i guess that's actually kind of my job now so here's what i think here you know what actually i do think i know what happened i you're right i was i was taking pictures of my gooch and i was putting them on the dark web and oh you know what i'm thinking now is what you're saying is yes so okay yes i was taking pictures of all my junk regions and putting them on dark web for money
Starting point is 00:00:57 just oh yes you know what that actually is where all that money came from right okay so yeah you know what actually i think yeah but i think there was a bit of a miscommunication i what i was doing was taking pictures of my i was like plucking all my nut hairs out on video and then i was putting them in a bag and i you know what i think i did i think i went to the u.s post office and i think i i think i mailed them to a guy in peru and i think yeah but so and i get what that this is and i get that i did all this but why is this part of the pto meeting why is this on the agenda for the pto meeting why do they have to hear this right what i do what i do see why what i do in my own time is kind of up to me and i think i think i was tricked actually i think i thought
Starting point is 00:01:47 i was doing something else you're gonna have to give me a minute to figure out what i thought i was doing though because my kids are bragging about it saying their dad's rich because he's yeah okay i actually kind of make sense okay yeah no i hear you okay all right pep rally what's next pep rally and that was and that was the guy that was the guy at the pto meeting this episode is brought to you by cash app cash app that's cash app cash app bring me my money all right episode play date episode 150 we recorded a whole episode earlier today and we lost half of it don't tell them oh we have we have to tell them because they're gonna be like why they change shirts halfway through the podcast we lost you guys are wearing
Starting point is 00:02:35 the same shirt you know what i think i'm not wearing the same shirt you know what i do i actually do think we recorded earlier and i think we may have lost 45 minutes no we only lost like 45 minutes here's the thing here's the thing i was super bummed about it but then i realized all that conversation about studs probably would have gotten us canceled so we on it in a way we probably it's no way i think you were being very like open-minded about studs we're not going to rehash what i may or may not have thought about it's not that you're being very nice to studs my sister i think you could argue as a stud is kara a stud willie uh yeah sure oh yeah willie tell us about the druski show no we're not no we need here's what we need oh you want to retell
Starting point is 00:03:22 them i was thinking it's like we shouldn't try and redo the old bits i do i'm not trying to redo the old bits i just want to tell them that i went to the druski show oh yeah druski show I went to the Drewski show and you guys act surprised act surprised what what with who
Starting point is 00:03:38 with my brother my friend and his friend and they he brought out Soulja Boy Young M.A. Jack Harlow
Starting point is 00:03:49 Lil Yachty A Boogie With Da Hoodie it was insane and everyone was twerking and the whole time he just kept being like where the where the studs at
Starting point is 00:03:58 where the studs at and walking around trying to find studs I didn't even know what a stud was. I learned what a stud was. Yeah, what is a stud? It's like a sort of masculine lesbian woman, I think. I think they have to be black.
Starting point is 00:04:17 I don't know that for a fact. And I think typically they have, like, short hair. Wait, Willie, actually, that's actually interesting. Andrew, Google white stud. Google white. Well, that'll just show a picture of me. google can can studs be white in a sexual sense yeah so yeah black lesbian so yeah so they're like okay yeah yeah okay so he's trying to find where the studs at and i'm like and i'm there and
Starting point is 00:04:47 i see one and i'm like this the studs are right here and i'm screaming at the top they're over here in the barclays center pointing at these women in front of me and i just felt like i was getting weird looks no i didn't do that but it was insane there were people there were people shaking their butts like crazy yeah look wait those aren't studs that's this is that's a stud in the middle oh that's young m.a or young mom this is before the studs it's m apparently it's young m.a but look at like these people they were just uh doing sex on each other can you see that like people were just going nuts on each other what is the show i was getting all worked up this actually is a good opportunity to explore other parts of the because we did talk about it
Starting point is 00:05:32 but we kind of got hung up on the stud aspects what my studs at what a studs at that was him and then when he found a stud he'd give him a banana and they would like eat it like a penis but that was challenging my whole thing about studs because i was under the impression they were lesbian i don't totally understand his relationship with studs but i understand that there's a whole dating show he did that might give me more insight so i think before i before i try to jump to conclusions i should maybe do my research but it appears that he it appears that he is sexually attracted to a subset of the population that yeah would not on paper be attracted to him so it seems like a no it's like the forbidden fruit like we all we've all passed
Starting point is 00:06:14 a couple studs on the street and been like i if they wanted me that would take away the whole allure the allure is that is that i would have to work for it yeah i guess you're right i and i i i were do you get distracted yeah i got i just started thinking about like other stuff i just like didn't halfway through i just don't care oh were there any white people there there was just us we were the only white people do you actually think so um maybe yeah no no we weren't the only people but we were i would say too like among the white people we were even among we were outliers like my brother's friend cam had like a vest on with
Starting point is 00:07:02 like a uh like a yeah like a vest what is that like a what does that mean like a finance guy kind of look like a patagonia vest like you don't know what i thought you meant like he assimilated to the crowd but you did not like that like vests no no like all the studs like all the studs have vests yeah we're here we work in private equity it was fun though we had a good time and um i'm you know i feel like every day is a challenge and an opportunity and so i i forget what i'm talking about again i don't care do you want to know i feel like i'm losing my mind this is the latest we've ever done the podcast it's eight o'clock here in new york that's true um when i was i don't know if i've told you guys this when i the black market the black or the dark web thing
Starting point is 00:07:58 reminded me of this there was oh yeah there was a guy in college that would pay me all sorts of money for pictures of my feet do you do it yeah i haven't told you this i think we talked about this a while he would venmo me like hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars for pictures of my feet like there was like there was like a three-day span where i think he venmoed me like over 1500 and it was just like pictures of my how did you do that for three days like literally like he it was like a three-day span and i think he got like shameful or something and he blocked me on everything damn or maybe he like got his nut and he was done yeah i think he got his like post-nut clarity that post-nut clarity after
Starting point is 00:08:42 buying feet pics from a guy who ranks beers on the internet yeah it's gotta be wait it wasn't like a guy you like knew no no this was like i was a sophomore and i was a sophomore in college and the first day the first day i was trying to keep it under wraps because i was like i was participating in his shame and then i was like what no i post pictures my feet are in like i'm barefoot all the time like everyone here sees me in my so like it's the only reason it's weird is because i know this guy's like joan to him but uh yeah i remember i would go in the pool and i would kind of clean off my feet and then i would just fire off a couple pictures you clean them yeah i guess maybe he would have been into that i don't know i think it was like out of
Starting point is 00:09:31 i don't know i like it i like that you were like if i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it right i'm gonna do it right that's the kelly way if you're gonna do it if you don't half-ass it if you're gonna do it do it and uh and then there was one the one the last one i sent him was um he wanted he wanted me to start with my socks on and then take them off and i was like oh yeah okay i get it now like it this is weird but it was like yeah it was like i just propped my phone up and i sat down on the floor and was like i think like the majority of the because you wanted like long videos so i just like propped my phone up i just play like skate three for a couple minutes oh nice yeah it was like kind of chill and you would just like twist your toes
Starting point is 00:10:14 around yeah i don't think i was giving him much whatever he was looking for that's what you i don't think i was totally providing but um what is the farthest you would go with that kind of thing like would you like sell underwear would you sell like no the only reason the feet thing was like because it was like it's not sexual to me okay i don't care and it was so much money i had no money and he was sending me like i was a king for a couple days you weren't getting that creative fund no i never signed up for the career i didn't get i didn't get any money for uh social media until i was like a junior in college oh okay so maybe sophomore i remember getting getting the creative front and getting like 30 and uh i think we went and spent it on
Starting point is 00:11:03 something nice andrew ever god i tell the best story yeah you ever heard my first my first paycheck story uh from like to talk or from you've told this like five times really yes okay never mind i do want to hear it one day he went to they went to the strip club and he blew it's not what it was ah dude that sounds like a good story strip club what was it it was a gentleman's lounge and i will say when i came back i went like two more times in college and i think they were like oh shit like big ball is back and i just obviously had like figured out that that was not so like i never spent any crazy amount of money ever again i think they were all very let down it was pretty i ended up owing more in taxes on the brand deal than i had
Starting point is 00:12:02 the worst part was the um i woke up on my buddy's couch and we all had like hundreds of dollars and ones in our pockets uh and this kid came out and he was like do you guys want to know what you did last night we were like no stop and he was like i came out to hang out with you guys and someone gave him a hundred bucks to go back to bed y'all had it like that that night yeah we were they were on we were on that crazy we were on one that kind of sounds like awesome though i feel like everyone should have at least one night in their lifetime where like money feels unlimited you get one you get one yeah yeah if i woke up and i'd spent that amount of money now and i'm doing a lot better financially now than i was
Starting point is 00:12:51 then i would like i would cry and probably like like that would like that would be devastating i've never even come close to it again you spent all the money from one brand deal on one night i had like i had like four thousand dollars left over okay but i owed yeah i owed more than that in taxes obviously but you got that what you got that and then you brought all your boys you were like i got that we're gonna so i was checking my phone to see if i had like any money to get like another picture and there was like a huge amount of money in my checking account was like oh fuck and i just rounded everyone up it was like we're going to dancers okay it's on me and i didn't even get to enjoy it i was just in a back room throwing it yeah there's a video somewhere of uh there was
Starting point is 00:13:41 so much money on the floor you couldn't see my crocs like i was in like ankle deep yeah that's crazy i will say it was really it is like a it was cool not worth it at all really such a dumb place to spend it because it's literally just setting it on fire yeah you should go to the casino or like if i went out on like a shopping spree i think that would have been cool but i have nothing to show for it or a boat tour of the harbor just get on get on the boat you're like keep this thing going until i fucking run out of money he's like tell you yeah it's like that would take like eight years well now you have a story you can tell the podcast five times so i feel like that i know in its way i've told that i feel like i'm like
Starting point is 00:14:29 kind of embarrassed by that yeah you've told that you've also definitely told the story about paying the kid to go to bed at least five times no yeah that's kind of awesome dude am i woated no you're not woated you just damn all my rusty shit repeating a story more rusty shit telling things you know you know so right now i'm in um i'm in brooklyn and it's been really cold and rainy and it's kind of awesome today i was just walking all around being like it's nice to get a little cold and rainy after the summer you know so that was something i thought i would share did you see taxes live i wish i can't find geese anywhere i've been walking all around brooklyn looking for them but i would love to but i saw royal otis last night did they play uh who's your
Starting point is 00:15:20 boyfriend now yeah i didn't know i i so yesterday when i found out i was going i bought i didn't even know about the show and i found out about yesterday and i was like all right i'll buy tickets to go my college roommate joe was down and then i was listening to their music because i only know a couple songs who's your boyfriend is a good one they're great did they do linger who's your boyfriend now yeah they did linger and murder on the dance floor wow and yeah it was great i think there's they're making some of the best pop music out these days good hooks good catchy stuff and uh and you saw someone famous there and i saw yeah how do you know i saw and i saw brianna chicken fry and we kind of gave each other i feel like we gave each other that look that was like
Starting point is 00:16:09 fuck zach bryan but we don't need to talk right now even though that look was like we should come on each other's podcast uh yeah i mean i'm i guess what does she still have or she was like she has BFFs I mean I just I'm always down to spill the tea so
Starting point is 00:16:31 right that's what we do here I feel like we should yeah did you guys see the video on Mumford and Sons when the Brewers won
Starting point is 00:16:40 game 5 no I bet this is like all over my I think I like watched a few videos too long
Starting point is 00:16:47 so I just keep getting videos of it from different angles but Mumford and Sons was playing in Milwaukee at like five serve arena or like wherever the the bucks play i guess and uh while the brewers are in game
Starting point is 00:17:00 five against the cubs and like they're in like the middle of a really slow song and the brewers win and like the whole place goes nuts and they like stop the song and we're like yeah oh that's awesome it's like kind of hype but i was thinking about like what would be the funniest place for like everyone to go nuts because the brewers won uh the funniest place for everyone to go nuts like the dmv like a moment like capturing the special moment like all the dmv workers are crying the dmz like all the all the koreans are like what are we even doing here the brewers are going to the nlcs a video of the dmz when that would be like an ai video where it's like oh my god the ones the fucking ones you send me of like jesus christ being followed by a demon
Starting point is 00:17:48 where it's like these koreans put their put their disagreements aside because of the milwaukee brewers uh wait i want to tell the playmates the thing the story i told you guys earlier so i as you know have been dealing my neighbor below me has yes yes my neighbor below me has been complaining to the to the um landlord about how we're walking too loud and it reached a breaking point last night so he he texted my landlord yeah what did he say he texted my landlord and what'd he say he texted my landlord who texted me do you not want me to read the text was that sarcastic no no no read it read it no totally oh okay i love the text so i love that i love the text so i love the text text love me i send them i receive them um so my landlord
Starting point is 00:18:48 texts me she goes hi this is blank from blank properties the tenant below you has been texting me non-stop all day today about the pounding and the noise and i was like what she goes and this is from this she copy and pasted his text please get me out of here the thumping all day has me in tears it's unimaginable how someone can live in this apartment when i get back from new york i have to make a concerted effort to move today has been painful stomping back and forth all damn day my it is here and here's what's going on upstairs it's so not fair there is little soundproofing it's unbelievable like they're stomping around on purpose all day long all friggin day pounding back and forth i don't believe anyone spoke to these guys upstairs
Starting point is 00:19:36 and if they were spoken to they don't give a damn and we're sitting there and we're like what the fuck like we haven't changed anything about how we've been like operating and then it all hit me i had been i just got a new hacky sack and i was hacky sacking from probably eight in the morning to like 9 45 p.m in every room of the house borderline non-stop like for the whole day and if you didn't know someone was hacky-sacking above you it would sound like they were stomping on the ground so i feel horrible obviously and that one was my bad but i will okay in your defense you said you got eight uppies and i got yeah i got eight keepy yuppies and um and so that was good and it was just a fun bonding moment there was one point
Starting point is 00:20:30 so here's the thing i don't know who lived if this was him or not but like a couple months ago there was so our balconies are all kind of lined up so like if i'm standing on my balcony and i'm having a conversation you could hear me as if i was standing right next to you because we're like four feet away and it's like one in the morning and there's this like it sounds like a concert's happening i'm like what the hell so i open my window and it's like the from the balcony there's like a woman singing and she was like going on clearly doing like a performance for her friends and i will say i turned into the grumpy old man that that he's being to me and i leaned over the balcony and was like please for the love of god like shut up and so i understand that like you
Starting point is 00:21:19 didn't even go with like a hey do you mind keeping it down i think i had tried like one like once or twice out the window and i didn't they either heard me and ignored me if they did if they did hear me they didn't give a damn to quote the neighbor below me and so then i went over the balcony i was like please for the love of god like shut up or shut the fuck up and they stopped so i think that yeah i understand how annoying and noisy neighbor can be and i was completely in the wrong i will say the walking i cannot wrap my head around like i'm allowed to walk around but i agree if the guy above me was hacky sacking from like the crack of dawn until like well into the night i would i'm shocked he hasn't come up and said something yeah i mean me too i
Starting point is 00:22:03 wouldn't have come up and knocked at this point also yeah to be clear about hacky sacking that is typically an outdoor activity is that fair i should have gone to a park i said all this in the i think i'm coming off less apologetic in this second recording the first one i was i i really i really am sorry and i i feel bad and i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it outside now i also like for my own safety i almost knocked over like everything in my my room is all things that are like easily breakable like i broke my orient express lego yesterday um yeah you just run and you bang your shins into the coffee table like it's not fun in the apartment it would be more fun outside yeah upstairs neighbor activities going for yeah
Starting point is 00:22:50 yeah what i that was what i said on the first recording of the podcast i don't remember you guys i i think it is your god-given right yeah this is fucking america yeah you're right actually no i'm flipping the script yeah our our ancestors moved here yep and said we're gonna build apartments that are essentially separated by one piece of plywood that will honestly amplify the sound and it is your god given right to sack up a storm wherever you damn please if you hey hey downstairs neighbor if you don't want your upstairs neighbor hacky sacking go to france yep why don't you if you're going to enjoy all the all the benefits of living in this fair country you have that comes along with
Starting point is 00:23:46 a little hacky's hacking above you and i think that was in the constitution it was in the constitution i think that was the ninth amendment y'all rocking with the bill of rights willie what what's your favorite right afforded to you in the bill of rights um the right to i don't know i can't think of a funny one should i just uh move on you've had two recordings to think of something funny we didn't do bill of rights in the first one we we never done bill of rights okay no stop you can't fucking clown me like this okay bill what are the bill of rights uh it's like the first 10 amendments freedom of speech
Starting point is 00:24:27 oh like what are they the right to bear arms yeah are you looking it up no no no no I'm doing it off the down
Starting point is 00:24:34 the right freedom of freedom of religion right to a fair trial uh soldiers can't live in your house yeah
Starting point is 00:24:44 quarantining soldiers um the quarantining them like for covid baddies quartering soldiers oh yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:24:51 quartering baddies must give you baddies must give you a chance uh yeah when was last time you when was last time you ground you got grounded on andrew you gotta stop this is like a like a bi-weekly question really yeah you're like when's the last time you got grounded on oh okay it bums me out because i think it's been a while it's been so long does my own girlfriend count like not at the club she grounded on you does my own girlfriend count yeah of course okay who else then um probably eight years ago i don't i don't think
Starting point is 00:25:29 i've ever i've been grinded on seriously once but never everyone wants everyone thinks it's a big big fun joke to grind on rusty no one wants to do it seriously yeah what do you mean seriously who jokingly ground on you what who jokingly ground on you everyone literally at close your Surprising point. Willie. Willie has. When you're a mid-sized business, you need every competitive advantage you can get. Like an AI solution that works for you, not against you.
Starting point is 00:26:02 SAP Grow is built with AI embedded at its core, working across every system. And it's ready to go from day one, so you can hit the ground running. Bring it with SAP Grow. AI Cloud ERP for any size business. can i ask i'm raising my hand yes willie yes hey hi will and ellen um just wanted to say how how much i love uh hanging out with you guys um what was i gonna tell you yeah are you crying No. Have you ever seen that video of the kid on a...
Starting point is 00:26:45 These moments are just special. Guys, I really needed this. I needed this. Okay. What is Will doing? Maybe I should just move my flight tomorrow. I got a flight at 11.30 to Orlando. So I just lose my afternoon.
Starting point is 00:27:02 I should go earlier or later, maybe. Go earlier and go walk around Rollins. You'll be a celeb. why that would be like an insane thing to do walk around roland yeah no it's like it's like a pretty place to like like people in the town walk around and it could so no you're right yeah does your lore live on there at roland my lore yeah yeah apparently like like untrue stuff untrue untrue really wait like what i had a kid now so our fraternity has completely shifted in like demographic okay and what it's like all chinese
Starting point is 00:27:46 why is your why is your fraternity like all chinese guys pilots um it's all it's all studs it's all yeah but so it like it's like a big game of telephone because like none of these at least in like years past it was like when you graduated like someone's little brother or like kids that were friends with uh uh like the older guys like we're still there or whatever so now it's just like obviously i don't know many of these kids and uh i heard that one of these kids is blaming me for apparently they're like tens of thousands of dollars in debt now did i already tell you this you told me not on the podcast oh i'm like tens of not i'm they are like tens of thousands of dollars in debt and apparently they just used me as a scapegoat and
Starting point is 00:28:43 they were like yeah when he was president he like racked up some crazy tap which is not true i i ruled very i ruled with an iron fist and there we were i was worried about getting audited and so we didn't do anything nefarious i will say me and my friend jake jones would have if there were like more than three of us at like a lunch or something yeah we called it a brotherhood event every once in a while and put it on the credit card did i spend twenty thousand dollars no absolutely not absolutely no we paid our debt off every month and they are still trying to get themselves out that hole i don't know anything about all i know is all i know is we only used a debit card we didn't we didn't even have like a line of credit okay apparently now they have some they've
Starting point is 00:29:32 established some sort of line of credit which i think is just a dangerous game and they're probably venmoing people i don't know i don't know what those little little fuckers are doing we had a teacher fired in high school for keeping all the stucco money stucco yeah student council yeah yeah like all the student dues or whatever she would just like put it in her drawer and like one day um a student found just like rolls of like hundreds in her desk and well what is she supposed to do with them put them in a bank put it in a bank account yeah because there's like a bank account that the school like keeps watch of do you think she was like great skimming some off the top definitely but like i think her her rationalization of it was that like they would
Starting point is 00:30:15 need money like quickly like a quick turnaround like they'd be like hey we need cookies for this event in two hours and it was just easier for her to like pull cash out of her drawer and be like here's 20 bucks go get the cookies whereas if you go through the school bank account it's like you gotta like fill out a form right and then like send it it's got to get approved it's got to go through all these like levels so there's a debate but she got fired at the end of the day so it's like i don't know if as unless they proved that she was embezzling i think her her logic there is pretty sound it is but you got to follow the rules i think yeah we do you think yeah no no it's also like if you're keeping cash how do you keep track of all that you know no it's there
Starting point is 00:30:59 she could take ten dollars for a brotherhood lunch or something like that yeah but like they're teachers they don't get paid very much that is true too if you're a teacher and you have an opportunity to embezzle go nuts that would be mine i think teachers should be stealing more yeah i agree yeah who is your sexiest teacher mr stackhouse was his name actually stackhouse yeah it was my golf coach that's the name of like a of a jerry stackhouse yeah he was built like a pancake i thought you're gonna say a basketball player. Google Jason Sackhouse.
Starting point is 00:31:40 Your golf coach? And history teacher. Is he hot? You tell me. Yeah, there he is. That's Mr. Rush on the left. Mr. Stack. He got the key to the city?
Starting point is 00:31:54 He was a teacher of the year? Wow. We had a golf course. One time I found a banana. Sorry. there's like there's just enough of a delay that we end up like telling each other a different completely different story well you found a banana oh senior year we were getting our golf bags and like i guess they had like i don't know 15
Starting point is 00:32:27 academic magnet high school like branded uh golf bags like for the team but like we never had that many guys on the team so it was like in theory there were a few golf bags that had just not been touched in it was like everyone go grab out of the closet but there were a few in the back that i guess just had been untouched for like a decade and i grabbed one i guess one year and i went to look at my bag and there was a banana in it and it was completely petrified like it was rock solid but like brittle kind of uh it was a 10 year old banana that had been in that golf bag the entire time did you need that what no we didn't put me and my buddy elliot we just put it we actually i think we just put it back me and my buddy elliot lead him used to laugh about
Starting point is 00:33:13 the petrified banana that we found in the golf bag but like petrified like it was scared like we opened it oh whoa whoa hey oh boys some privacy in here come on what do you mean accent got a peel down yeah we uh i had a similar situation with a sandwich that i didn't want to eat for lunch in fifth grade and i was lunch yeah and i uh i didn't know what to do i didn't want to bring it home because i didn't want my dad to think i hated this sandwich so i put it in a locker that was below mine that was empty and then like a week later it was moldy and then like a month later it was like black and like poisonous and like just looked like really bad and they got to the point where it was like i can't take it out
Starting point is 00:34:03 of here because i have to walk to a trash can if anyone sees me with this they're gonna think i'm like a huge freak and then on like the second to last day of school i just like timed it perfectly grabbed it sprinted threw it out but like there was a point where like anyone's locker like around this one they'd open it and be like oh come on i feel like i feel like maybe we've talked about this but like we never used our lockers at all oh we did not in high school but in middle school i always like wished that i used it because i wanted to be like in the in the movies where like i'd open and there'd be some sex yeah but it's just like love letters it didn't like it wasn't practical like we would just bring what we needed for that day and keep it in our backpack
Starting point is 00:34:46 yeah i was there something different about the olden days that like required they didn't have backpacks backpacks are like a relatively like new like they used to just carry their books in their hands do they have iphones back then is that real yeah like when our dads were in high school like i don't think they use backpacks what they like call my dad yeah call call call unc hey hey you're on the air right now we're recording the podcast but i had a question for you get out of here really yes swear to god oh hi playmates um are you okay the question is did you use backpacks when you were in high school like to go to school you mean like yeah are you no no i was i was cool in high school isn't that great whoa wait did no one use backpacks
Starting point is 00:35:37 uh the only one who did was a nerd is that real yeah really no really we carried our books like and then you had them in your locker you put them in your locker yeah so that's crazy you want to know my combination yeah do you know it 20396 i swear to god i still remember I'm going to open his locker. That's crazy. All right. Cool. Well, that was all.
Starting point is 00:36:07 We were talking about that, and Rusty asserted that no one used backpacks in the olden days, and I thought there was no way that was true. Once again, Rusty's a genius. Thank you. I know. Let's go. He said thank you. I guess you can't hear them, but that's insane.
Starting point is 00:36:21 All right. Cool. So we now know they didn't use backpacks in the 50s. Okay. Do you want to say hi to your mom? Yeah, sure. hi mom hi how are you i didn't use backpacks either you didn't either but it was not the 50s tell her tell her thank you for the go to best yeah you didn't even know you didn't even notice
Starting point is 00:36:44 me saying 50s dad i totally pranked you uh yeah oh uh rusty says thank you for your donation to best buddies mom oh you're welcome yeah happy to do i said it was a goaded amount it was he said it was a goaded amount uh yeah but all right i gotta go we gotta do i got i'm at work guys yeah i love you all right talk soon bye i cannot god sorry they're the fucking worst sorry they're so fucking annoying your parents were cool as fuck in high school apparently yeah no bad you say you can't believe you're right yeah because i the second you call i was like waiting with bated breath for him to be like what are you talking about we all use oh oh imagine that's the the eight couple in high school
Starting point is 00:37:38 jan sport and jerry outdoors wait there's this that reminds me of speaking of like the olden days there's this video on youtube of like some kid in the late 80s early 90s like got up on top of our high school with a camera and was like filming everyone come into school and would be like hey like andrew like say what's up this is like gonna be a time capsule oh yeah and like all the people would say hi and we were watched there's like four parts and it's not edited so you're just like literally watching like the hour of people coming in and I was like I wonder if like anyone we know is in there and it's like some of our friends parents and they're like already a couple then and they're like hey like how are you doing you're like this is so sweet and then our
Starting point is 00:38:22 other but our other buddy's dad comes in and they're like bleep this but they're like what's up and he's like wow and turns around and moons the camera that's awesome we were like oh that is fantastic but it was truly like it's crazy these people that are like married and like still like they were like juniors in high school and they look like the same and they're dating it was just like yeah kind of crazy it gave everyone's like girlfriend in high school at the time like a weird feeling because it was like oh that's pot like we're gonna be together forever like look they were they were together i do miss the era of like no internet where you could do things like moon the camera yeah and like have no consequences it was never gonna get out now it's like we lose
Starting point is 00:39:09 your job i don't think that you were ever alive for that me what yeah i was i was born in 1999 dude i i will say when were you mooning the camera with no consequences the internet existed our whole life i think one of the months i was alive in 1999 there was a i will say there yeah there was no fear of getting in there's also i went you know i went viral back in the day really it was like 10 000 views which i think at the time was not a lot like any video that got posted on youtube was popping off but it was called uh and my sister posted this was not me and she's gay now so she can say this it was called gay kid dancing and it was me dancing on my couch and it yeah it was fine i was i was going dummy viral wow dude you're you're numbies can i just
Starting point is 00:39:57 said that you've always been on these i always thought it was cool back in the day because i got featured on ifunny twice twice your meme uh one was like it was like a spongebob meme it was like a on the uh be like yeah it was like that it was like a washing machine it was like do not touch and then a picture of patrick going like touch and then another was like this like video of like this car like fell in some water and this crane tried to pull it out and then the crane fell and then they got a bigger crane and that one fell and then like another big crane and that one fell you were a genius it's a it's good i was it honestly is special to hear these kind of things where it's like okay so these guys have always had it so i'm surrounded and i always am surrounded
Starting point is 00:40:43 by your genius and it's like okay so that's right and we kind of like learn and grow with each other and we kind of hold up a mirror to society and we go look at it it's like hey America look familiar because this is you it said you know Spongebob
Starting point is 00:41:02 going to have fun Patrick going to be dumb as hell and Sandy Cheeks you already know what she's going to do she's going to be from Texas yeah it's not really coming through on my headphones i need him back in the studio because he's really milking this
Starting point is 00:41:21 i'm sorry i just don't know anyone from spongebob i never really saw it so i don't even know sandy cheeks that much this episode is brought to you by cash app your security deserves to be a priority and Cash App treats it that way. With security law, Cash App requires a successful face ID or biometric authentication to access your account. It's like your money is protected by your own personal bodyguard, even if you accidentally leave your phone unlocked or someone gains access to it without your knowledge. Plus, if you're about to send money to someone and Cash App notices something looks a bit off or that you might be falling for a scam, it will send you a warning before the money is sent to make you take a second and confirm that everything looks
Starting point is 00:42:11 right turn on security lock in your cash app settings now to keep your account and your information safer than ever and pay attention to scam warnings if sending money to someone new learn more at cash.app security for a limited time new cash app customers can earn ten dollars if they use code friday 10 in their profile at sign up and send five dollars to a friend within 14 days terms apply cash up as a financial services platform not a bank banking services provided by cash apps bank partner visit cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures guys fall is here i'm talking crisp air football maybe a bonfire or two but if you're like most guys right you're still putting in hard work and yeah that means sweat don't let body odor
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Starting point is 00:43:53 cream tube deodorant two free products your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes and free shipping as a special offer for listeners new customers get 20 off site wide with our exclusive code use code playdate at shop mando.com for 20 off site wide and free shipping shop mando.com please support our show and tell them we sent you mando's got you covered with deodorant plus sweat control my goodbye say goodbye my my my say goodbye to sweat stains and hello to long lasting freshness let's get back into the episode all right we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're going to hear your pitch followed by our pitches then we're going to do this guy rocks followed by teach me something and then we are going to do
Starting point is 00:44:42 sayings that don't exist followed by curb your enthusiasm plots that don't exist and then we'll wrap up with our sod um all right should we hear a pitch andrew yeah what is the worst part about picking what bar to go to at the pregame uh no one wants to agree what did you say really yeah like no one can agree no one wants to speak up but no one wants to speak up and be wrong you have no idea if it's going to be popping or not uh the fact that you never know what vibe or energy that the other bar goers are on when you will get there introducing bar crawl an app focused on giving you the perfect night out all you have to do is download the app and have people tell what exactly what is going on at certain bars before you even get there things like the music
Starting point is 00:45:30 that's playing how busy it is and special deals going on at the time this could be current location tracked or simply putting in an area you spend the night at this gives the opportunity to perfectly plan your night before you even go out i love it willie thoughts i've i i'm gonna need you to repeat it i'll be honest i got i got a really distracting text right during that did i talk about wait tell us a flower if you might did i say zay flowers my eskimo brother on the last yeah podcast cool yeah i just got a text from the girl what'd she say just said zay flowers i was like no i just it just popped up on my screen while we're recording well that's that's her and her and flan seem to be at the same part of the episode because
Starting point is 00:46:21 plant just texted me anyway sorry repeat that again it's a app for going to the bar yeah it's an app that tells you what's going on at all the bars before you go to them wait doesn't this exist i feel like i've like seen versions of this yeah they're like cameras like uh didn't uh jared sullinger invest in a company that like uh it puts cameras in bars so you can like check the vibe on your phone jared solinger yeah i because i learned that at tbt when when him and i were going head-to-head friday beers versus ohio state uh wait that that's jared soldier was like my childhood bro he was so fucking good he was really good at ohio state so here's my question if the like let's say you you're checking out like venice beach bar like a random bar like
Starting point is 00:47:15 what would it what would the what would the description be it would be like you know what i mean like how would how would it tell you what the vibe is is it just say good or would it be like people are grinding people are getting this drunk people are like it's like baddies are going home with guys uh at a at a alarming rate could it be just like a binary just like ass is being shook or not yeah right yes one or zero one ass is being shook zero no ass being shook yeah i feel like it could just be that probably right did anyone's pants catch on fire from the friction of grinding yes great i'll be there um yeah or maybe or maybe it's a friction maybe that's the measurement yeah everyone is being caused by grinding it's like
Starting point is 00:48:03 yeah when you go to the bar they check your id and then they slap like a barometer on your crotch and girls get a barometer on their butt and then it's like how much friction is going on those two things yeah i feel like that's probably the easiest way to do it right right i agree well yeah let's not make it let's not let's not try and reinvent the wheel here can you see that when i do that yes of course i'm looking at you oh nice all right can i give you my pitch now please all right youtube minus they pay you and it's like an unbelievable amount of ads but it's it's actually a way that you can make money so it's like so many ads and the ad breaks are super long but instead of you paying
Starting point is 00:48:54 any amount on youtube minus they actually pay you out like there should just be i mean the extreme version of it is we should be able to just pay to go sit and watch ads it's like buying a movie ticket but the opposite no they we get paid to go sit and watch ads oh sorry we get paid to go sit and watch movies yeah movie theaters where they pay you to come and just watch a bunch of ads yeah and hope you get it like indoctrinated or you can get youtube minus you can get paramount minus you can get i love it uh hbo min you i love it that's fantastic you can get uh you can get wait i'm gonna do another one is that okay just give me a second i'm gonna throw it i'm gonna throw a heater um try to think of another app i have oh instead of peacock it could be poo cock
Starting point is 00:49:48 yeah there's no idea what we're doing yeah i guess it could be poo cock y'all working with poo cock all right wait wait i feel like i thought that was the funniest thing of all time and i feel like no one reacted i loved it andrew pull up a list of all the streaming services we're gonna we're gonna come up because i said because i last night i was at my buddy's house after the concert and we were watching youtube and it popped up and it was like skip the ad in 58 seconds and i was like what the hell bro you got youtube minus and it was like a crowd hit and so then i was like oh that'd be a funny pitch and then it felt like you guys kind of drowned me wait i love that
Starting point is 00:50:40 wait we're gonna willie i'm gonna we're gonna keep doing this okay list of all because you know i like these little games uh look look after all that look who's eating a pierogi uh-oh apple tv minus soggy roll disney minus uh minus indirect tvd or indirect tv indirect tv yeah um i guess there are less um i still y'all rocking with pool cock oh wait i got it i got it um um uh uh wait um rotten video or or what's the opposite of prime well isn't there like prime numbers and what are the other ones regular okay regular video secondary secondary video inferior
Starting point is 00:51:51 inferior video that's pretty funny i actually feel like we are like we could do stand-up all right what is the worst part about having a brilliant idea in the shower uh it hurts you can't write it down oh sorry uh you can't write it down you can't write it down because paper get wet willie what happened to paper paper get wet paper get wet here's my thing your the glass on your shower is now linked to your phone you can draw in the steam on the shower and it will put it as a note on your phone so that you can if you have a brilliant idea you can write it down it'll be a note on your phone only only concern here what if you like bend over
Starting point is 00:52:47 to grab something and your ass cheeks hit the glass it'll just be like a colon that was a good bit and honestly i i more meant just because of like two dots but then like the second i said it i was like that works out perfectly if you only get one cheek it's a semi colon i love it i love it yes we're back we're back uh andrew should we hear an am i the asshole yeah it's been so rainy and wet here it's kind of nice i kind of missed rainy and wet bro we don't want to hear about how wet you are it's disgusting i'm wet from like my pussy oh william why do they have said why is that why is it why does it have to be such a foul word yeah it has to be it has to be pussy that's disgusting
Starting point is 00:53:46 i said i said that word in front of flan one time not in like a sexual context and it like actually made her like skin crawl and then now i have realized like yeah that is a pretty gross word gotta have them ribs and pussy too and pussy too soda soda guys i am so excited to go to the vikings game i got my tickets on seat geek you know where i got Me and my girlfriend are going to go to Thursday Night Football when the Vikings come to town, and I am stoked. Guys, we want to give a shout-out to today's sponsor, SeatGeek, with over 35 million downloads. SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app. There are more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports festivals, sports festivals, and more.
Starting point is 00:54:54 Maybe one day there will be a sports festival. A sports festival sounds fun. Look, I can show you. I'm not just talking the talk. I'm walking the walk. Look at my tickets. Audrey Hobert, Mets, Dodgers, Gracie Abram, MJ Lenderman. You name it, I got it on SeatGeek.
Starting point is 00:55:12 If it's a Mets or a sad singer, I bought it on SeatGeek. SeatGeek. Guys, get those plans out the damn group chat. So use code PLAYDATE10 for 10% off your SeatGeek tickets. That's 10% off tickets with promo code PLAYDATE10. SeatGeek, we have the tickets. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later.
Starting point is 00:55:38 Thank you, thank you, thank you to SeatGeek. We love you. Let's get back into the episode. I go to a very large school, and every year there's a giant pilgrimage to a neutral football game and a beach costume party the day before. A beach costume party? A beach costume party. What's a beach costume?
Starting point is 00:55:56 Your head's sand and your body's umbrellas? Wouldn't your head be the umbrella and then your body be the sand? You ruined all my stuff. Y'all play too much. I'm going to tell you this. Most of our friends had never been and didn't really express any interest because you stand around in a giant crowd drinking nothing but a Borg. Instead, my two roommates and I were going to go down to the low country for a night
Starting point is 00:56:27 and stay at this place my parents have to go see a band with ties to our school. We all really liked this band. We were planning on driving down after the next day. We've been looking forward for this trip for months. A few days ago, my roommate, who we'll call Jim, announced he was planning on going to the beach thing with a girl he's been seeing for a couple weeks. I normally would not care, but we're all seniors,
Starting point is 00:56:45 and he's going to be bouncing around doing military shit after college, so I probably won't get the chance to see him very much for the next couple years. I feel like I would be the asshole if I told him it rubbed me the wrong way, especially because we all like this girl and they would be good together. I'm choosing not to say anything, but it kind of blows. Would I be the asshole if I said something? New from Nespresso. Blend wellness into your coffee routine with the Coffee Plus range,
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Starting point is 00:57:36 Hmm. Interesting. Interesting is right. yeah i mean it's it's coming from a place of love i think first of all shout out the low country so jim was gonna be on the the concert trip initially and then bailed because he started seeing a new girl yeah oh yeah i'll tell you i'll tell you this i'll tell you this when i was a senior in high school i was dating a girl and i was spending a lot more time with her than like my core group of buddies and one of my buddies was like kind of got in my head like we're not gonna
Starting point is 00:58:15 see each other that much you know after school whatever you're spending like the last couple weeks of summer which i was spending like way too much time with this girl and i broke up with her to spend more time with my friends oh and then immediately realized like oh i just i see my buddies all the time like after school like you think like after yeah that you're never gonna see them again i think let him go do his thing i know he's gonna be in the military but let him go do his thing with his girl because he'll he'll be sad if he like breaks it off with her i guess that wasn't really the option i'll say this when i was a senior in college right at the beginning of my senior year there was this girl that had like sort of a on and off thing and i was really
Starting point is 00:59:03 head over heels with and i wanted to date her and i took her and two of my friends to a mount joy concert in portland maine and i got so drunk that when my dad came to pick us up i just started saying that's not my dad and none of them had met my dad and so they didn't know if it was actually not my dad um and i yeah and i think i ruined it with the girl so you're worried you're saying if he goes does that help you're saying if he goes to this beach day with the girl he may get so drunk that he embarrasses himself in front of her so you actually would be protecting his relationship with her by making him come that's sort of my thing if you like her don't drink around her based on that one thing that happened to me i will say i would i will actually second that i
Starting point is 00:59:57 no relationship of mine friendship or romantic maybe friendship but no drinking no relation no romantic relationship of mine has gotten better because of drinking so yeah maybe tell maybe tell him no you got to come with me you're not going to go party with her on the beach you're going to make a fool of yourself this is a girl you're going to marry when you get out of the seals and yeah also it's like if you're in the military in the past that might have been more like we're not going to see him but a lot now they're starting to deploy military like it seems like mostly domestically so i feel like he's gonna be around he'll be in the u.s it's a damn good point yeah just move to just do a weekly pilgrimage or a yearly pilgrimage to portland i mean how far
Starting point is 01:00:42 do you live from a democrat run city i would just assume that he'll be there so yeah that's a damn good point that's a damn good yeah he gets to keep the girl it's not like he's not going out yeah exactly where is he where are they going to send him freaking chicago like you can go to visit your buddy in chicago i do it all the time do you see that video of that person in a dinosaur costume and and they're trying to pepper spray him and they realize it doesn't work and so the the guy they spray in his like fan hole they prayed in his sprayed in his fan hole that has got to be yeah the most torturous experience of all time fan hole like to keep his thing inflated there's like a fan on the back and the cop just sprayed oh that's terrifying
Starting point is 01:01:32 oh yeah i would say let him i would say yeah let him just let him go to the thing let him make his own mistakes um he's probably gonna get so drunk he lies about who his dad is and then you'll have him back as a buddy wait so what did your dad do had i told you that before no um my dad was just really mad at me i mean i also just got like that was just like the funniest thing i did i was also just like way too drunk at the concert i got to take my shirt off and throwing it on the stage and uh it's like giving it back to me yeah and then you throw it back what was an eagle shirt and they're like from philly so the first time he was like oh and like held it up and everyone booed because we were in new england and then it was like the eagles super
Starting point is 01:02:23 bowl and it was shirt right after they'd beaten the pets in the super bowl and then i threw it back up and then they were like all right we're not gonna do that again he's like stop making this about you yeah i know and then i remember other a guy being like mad because i kept bumping him but i was like i can't control my legs right now like i don't know what you want me to say um yeah then my dad came to pick us up and uh i said it wasn't my dad i remember as a kid if i was mad at my parents i would pretend i was getting kidnapped in the back of the van and i would like i would like mouth like i'm being kidnapped to like other cars from like the back you know and uh like fake cry and scream and like bang on the windows
Starting point is 01:03:06 we wrote a kind of insane one time i wrote nice henley go fuck yourself have you heard this story no nice henley tell him that was no no tell him what you did one time what tell him what you did with the henley thing when you were visiting uva i don't get the joke am i supposed to pretend like it was me instead of chet we were gonna chester him and you just fucked us oh fuck i didn't get it chet when he was in college one time he like he was like he like some bartender he was going back and forth some bartender or something and then he i guess tipped him like 10 cents or something and then wrote on receipt nice henley go fuck yourself and then the guy posted it on facebook no he stopped he got up
Starting point is 01:04:05 at the dj booth first and was like hey cut the fucking music like you guys need to tip your bartenders like don't be like this fucking douchebag and then he was like yeah i'm not taking style advice from a guy in khaki shorts and new balances and just like own chester and then put it on facebook and chester apparently was like that's right the devil in charlottesville for like a week and a half okay so when chester usually tells the story he leaves out the part where he says nice henley i thought he just tipped badly no he tipped badly and then wrote nice henley and he wrote on the receipt nice henley go fuck yourself i believe is the quote okay i mean like that makes more sense i thought he just left like a 10 cent tip and the guy like
Starting point is 01:04:48 cut the whole music and like called him out and i was like no that guy's a douchebag but if you would go fucking i have i have the picture i'll slack it to you i think i've drank every day since my race is henley is that a shirt brand henley's like the t-shirt it's like a shirt that like buttons up chester collins once again uva kids represent poorly downtown chester collins your profile says bartender server at coops why are you tipping like a jerk none of us even remember serving you tonight bro but your receipt certainly caught our attention you can keep your 17 cents but in return we've got a tip for you none of us were wearing a henley and please don't try to diss our fashion sense when you show up to the club wearing khaki shirts nike socks and
Starting point is 01:05:28 new balance running shoes that's wild that's how many likes does that have 126 41 shares 45 i think i would never leave my house again if that he posted it in the in the grades in uh facebook group too that's crazy oh yeah yeah i would i would never leave where people like wearing a henley were people like did people think it was funny or people apparently like hated them hated them rightfully so yeah i don't yeah i mean i think he said he was like out of town for like a few weeks or he like was going abroad or something so he kind of dodged the the press classic chester fashion it washed over yeah um all right should we do this no look it looks like it was may 4th so it's probably right before graduation or end of school maybe not graduation
Starting point is 01:06:21 all right okay what'd you say should we do this guy rocks yeah all right andrew i just said let's end it andrew pauses immediately and i mean immediately oh my god i've got so much good stuff i forgot about all this so they're sexting like so fucking hot in bed i love when you call me baby he goes the chemistry is off the chart she goes i'm so wet right now and his response is are you serious wait is that it uh like it cuts off but i just liked i just liked that are you serious like he's not he's not playing into it at all he's like what yeah that is funny no game
Starting point is 01:07:11 the chemistry is off the chart it's a would you rather i guess is the important context a strawberry creature pet that leaves sticky juice trails everywhere but can heal small wounds with its touch or a blueberry creature pet that rolls away when scared but can create tiny light orbs for you at night andrew which would you rather have um i know which i'm gonna wait did the blueberry one have a mouth that opens yeah how how wide is the opening on the yeah which one has the biggest okay that's disgusting they're little creatures strawberry for me i would like it to be able to heal small wounds for instance this one on my wrist oh what are you gonna do with a little orb
Starting point is 01:08:08 of light i i it's the lesser of two evils doesn't leave sticky snail juice everywhere you think they're evil i think one would like fuck up my life permanently if there was a yeah thing leaving snail trails everywhere you guys are fucking terrorists you guys are fucking terrorists Wait, I have another funny story. When I was at the Drewski show on Sunday – so I've been – over the last few months or whatever, I've been doing a little – I have a little side hustle where I've been writing for some other people. But one of the people that I've been working for but I've never met in person was also at the Drewski show walking down the concourse with a couple beers, I guess. And I was like trying to like figure out where to get a beer and I was like kind of turned around and I bumped into him and I think I spilled his beer a little bit and I turned and I saw and I was like, oh my God, this is like a guy I work for but I've never met but might not know what I look like because it's all just been on like text and email. And so I just went like, oh, sorry, and just like ducked my head and walked away.
Starting point is 01:09:15 So I'm hoping I got – I'm hoping he has like bad facial recognition so that when I inevitably do meet him, I just like that couldn't – I couldn't get off on that foot. Does that make sense? I feel like there's no way he's not going to remember or know what you look like, but I also think that that would be a hilarious story for next time if he does remember. He's going to be like, you bumped me and didn't see me. Yeah, I was like, I bumped in and I looked up and I was like, oh, God. All right, should we do teach me something? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:45 Did you know that there is an animal that's very popular on this planet and we have no idea how they reproduce? Any guesses? me good uh wait i feel like i know this the squirrel no we've never seen eels reproduce once we've uh they're you know oh this is a crazy part of it too so there's this guy he like devoted his life to dissecting eels trying to or like the early stages of his life dissecting eels trying to like figure out where the fuck their uh reproductive organs are guess who it was it like took over his life he was like when i close my eyes at night all
Starting point is 01:10:35 i see are dead eels what do you mean guess who it was like you know who this guy is i'm saying like like think about someone that like this would have fucked their head up no sigmund freud apparently at the beginning the early stages of his life was trying to figure out where eels can you pull up if that's true or not obsessed with sex but this that we've we've like tracked them we haven't figured it out we've never gotten them to breed in captivity we have no idea how they fucking do it sigmund freud's early career involved dissecting hundreds of eels in an attempt to find the reproductive organs but he failed and became frustrated and then went on to famously say say what willie what did he say uh he did like he like had a dream he said every he said every
Starting point is 01:11:23 man secretly wants to kill their father and bang their mother in their dreams in their dreams i teach me something wait so they he never found out we don't know we have no clue how they reproduce isn't that weird with each other through external fertilization indeed what do you say well yeah we don't know how they did oh did they figure it out yeah when did they figure it out before 2022 oh it was late unknown fuck sexual organs form only close to the spawning grounds what do you mean they form they like their penises grow ew gross you may say i'm a creamer i don't i don't believe it i'm like there's just no way we
Starting point is 01:12:24 don't know with all the technology now dude they didn't know for like a while i guess i guess they just figured it out fuck you may say i can't do anything right streamer all right willie teach me something get this is pissing me off that i fucked this up again you know marlins can swim 80 miles an hour i'm dead serious isn't that fucking insane yeah oh fuck wait marlin the streamer no not marlin from the movie i'm talking about marlin from fish no no no the streamer like uh that really hot guy marlin yeah i don't watch any streamers what what marlin oh is he the one who lost his kid or whatever and there's like that whole
Starting point is 01:13:10 biopic about it this guy oh you don't know this guy no i don't know that guy wait what about isn't marlin also the name of that famous guy who like he like lost his son and it was like huge news and then like the weather documentary about it no i think he was like on a school trip and he got like separated from the group somehow and it was like national news you don't remember this no no we're gonna we're gonna get fucking marlin what show is that no marlin google marlin lost his son or something marlin oh it's we're getting fucking finding nemo god damn it you fucking idiots i thought you knew no i would i knew the whole time oh you did wait marlin lost his son all right not the right marlin that's how you spell marlin
Starting point is 01:14:05 all right willie do you want to do curb plots first or sayings that don't exist yeah which one you have to pick okay sayings okay these are more sayings that don't exist i'd rather rain on the roof than a flood in the basement this means that if you're gonna have some sort of problem you want it to happen in a context where you're prepared right so in in this analogy it's water in both cases but it's a lot easier to deal with rain hitting your roof than it is to deal with water filling up your basement all right i got nailing yourself to the cross it's someone who is like making themselves a victim on purpose for attention it's like dude you're nailing yourself to the cross like no one act you're not actually dealing with anything that's
Starting point is 01:14:54 awesome i like that a lot is that that's like really good does that exist i checked and okay cool then i then that's awesome oh awesome thank you shaking his own soda someone who is creating an unnecessary problem for himself no reason to do it don't give him the time of day don't give him too much sympathy he's shaking his own soda i got lock in the convertible it's like taking a measure that may make you feel better but it's not actually doing anything it's just for your own like mental yeah whatever sanity yeah i like that uh leave it on the nightstand that that's when you you don't want to completely get rid of something you want to have it at hand but you don't need it right now it's like let's leave it on the nightstand for right now yeah or like if it's a
Starting point is 01:15:40 problem that you can deal with tomorrow it's like put it on the nightstand go to bed sure yeah yeah skyscrapers start with one story you can look at people that are super successful but at one point those were one-story buildings you got to build your way up and work hard and then you can eventually get to the mountaintop that's great you like that shit you kind of cooked it i kind of did cook today i had a couple of the lock in the convertible one's kind of stupid the funny thing that i guess a building kind of built i guess it starts with one story yeah i like it oh do they not do it that way well i mean if they do in some i don't know it doesn't matter that's a good one all right should we do curb yeah these are curb your enthusiasm plots that
Starting point is 01:16:25 don't exist all right larry uh is recovering from surgery and a neighbor brings over banana bread when they leave larry goes on a rant about how banana bread is a slap in the face because it just means they were trying to get rid of old bananas so that doesn't count as sympathy and it's basically just making him a dumping ground for their old trash and uh and then people throughout the day keep bringing banana bread and he starts to lose his mind over it larry's upstairs neighbor is being extremely loud and larry is convinced he's hacky sacking because of the cadence of the stomping that is coming through the ceiling he has seen the guy and he's dressed exactly like someone who would hacky sack uh larry finally has had enough and he goes
Starting point is 01:17:05 upstairs to confront him but when he barges in the guy is doing physical therapy uh for his injured leg and all the doctors uh look at larry and call him a monster larry goes to a bar in new york to watch the giants game and there are a bunch of people there watching a european soccer game the giants game is on the biggest tv but the game audio of the soccer game is playing on the speakers Larry gets very frustrated and gets in a dispute with the bartenders, arguing that whatever is on the biggest TV should always get the game audio. You can't have the game audio on a little TV because it makes it too confusing for everyone watching the big TV.
Starting point is 01:17:40 Larry's recycling is getting too full, and he can't wait until next week to take it out, so he just puts the bottles and the cans into his garbage for the trash man to take away. larry's friend who's a huge nature activist sees this all happen larry's asked to speak at a conference about protecting the environment and when he's talking the friend interjects and shows everyone a video of larry dumping plastic into his trash bin that's good uh cheryl tells larry that she's going to get dinner with a friend that is a quote big jacked black guy he gets jealous and spends the whole episode preparing to ruin the dinner it turns out when he gets there that the guy is a big jack black guy and they're just talking about school of rock and minecraft movie
Starting point is 01:18:29 the whole time so he leaves unthreatened that's fantastic i really like that thank you larry's getting bombarded with telemarketer calls and has had enough when one calls back again he picks up and immediately starts berating them and calling them a grifter and telling them that they're the scum of the earth when he asks if they have anything to say for themselves he realizes that it's his doctor following up about something they found on his scan and that he needs to come in immediately all the nurses hate larry because of how mean he was to them and they're purposefully making the procedure more painful with like poking him with the needles and stuff like that like i like three of ours involved like surgery i also had larry is late for a meeting and the
Starting point is 01:19:14 route he usually takes is blocked off and there's a detour sign he follows the detour sign and keeps ending up in the place that he started realizing that the detour signs were placed in a way that just is a perfect circle he tries to go to the traffic office to complain and is stopped by another set of detour signs that lead him back to where he was where he was originally yeah that one wasn't very good yep um all right should we do arsad yeah arsad is a cemetery um i i am gonna do a song that i know a lot of people out there is gonna say pick i'm being a pick me and i'm not i just like this i've liked this song and i've tried to keep this playlist not very pick me but this song rocks and i know it's not for me but i like it and
Starting point is 01:20:08 that's what counts i'm gonna do cool about it by boy genius julian baker wait what do you mean it's not for about for you because you're not a lesbian no it just feels like it's like it's kind of the same feeling i get when i listen to like clero where i'm like she wouldn't like that i'm listening to this i think she was i love boy genius i do too oh are they all lesbians you're uh yeah well phoebe's bi i guess and she's kind of only dates guys but the other two definitely are the other two are dating each other so okay i don't know something about it just feels like it's it wasn't written for i don't know maybe i'm looking into it too much it just feels like they didn't they didn't um they are you trying to avoid performative allegations that's what it
Starting point is 01:20:55 feels like yes i am actually okay yeah okay but i like it a lot and i've been jamming out to it so go follow rusty songs of the day on spotify uh when we get to 10 000 followers two of you 2 000 likes on the playlist jesus 10 000 likes on the playlist uh two of you are getting 102 dollars so there you go and uh i would like to do a new segment where um i read a chapter from the bible fire what i well not today but i'm just letting you know i would like to all right we love you guys have a great rest of your monday tuesday monday have a great tuesday and we will see you bright and early for our wednesday episode peace well we love you
Starting point is 01:21:56 Thanks for watching!

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