Will & Rusty's Playdate - willy’s livestream disaster

Episode Date: March 30, 2026

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oh my god i'm in quite the predicament right now really yeah i'm rusty can you talk in your mic one two okay we're good all right good to go rusty featherstone guys play date episode 196 rusty feathers was in a predicament let's hear about it well for the record i brought this up off air because i don't know if this is going to be interesting i was just like i'm playing i got a bunch of games going with my grandfather on words with friends you just played hole with him i just played a hole for 39 points wow how is it 39 points triple letter word fuck yeah word and um and he's kind of got me on the ropes in this one game where you know i basically have to choose my own death there's only two options they both are going to set them

right up for a triple word so you played a whole your grandpa and he shot rope so do you notice that's now the fourth time you've said that second time on mic and do you see how when i when you bring up me playing whole with my grandpa and i just ignore you do you think that means that i want yeah i want you to keep doing it that's yeah that's usually how i do okay here's a question please i just live streamed yep disaster ending what have you seen this andrew yeah i did what happened you didn't see the ending no i just go do my drafts also we're doing a full roadmap today so i had to do a lot more prep wait do you actually not know what happened to the intellectual pull it up does it have to do with me no oh okay thank

god pull up friday beers youtube in latin america tamales feels very mexican i'm definitely thinking Mexico are those already guests no oh no the whole table clap i had a giada wrap a open thing of honey buffalo sauce an open diet coke the whole computer everything just we watch it one more time i was worried it was gonna be like i don't know like racist maybe because like something with like the countries was like what could go wrong peru peru your desk just as i leaned up off it and then people have like confidence if you go back

you can see the desk like slowly moving for like an extended period of time it's pretty i wonder if like i did anything to set that up that was the other side of it so i think it was oh okay yeah oh my god peru oh my god absolute disaster you must be the first guy ever to say peru and then have their someone is like desk of like or like something they're playing like risk yeah peru someone's like you got peru or maybe they're like perusing something but they haven't got through the word peru peru anyway that's what happened to me on my live stream so my god that's what i'm dealing with the whole room back room reeks of honey buffalo and diet coke oh my god

you had the sauce open the sauce was open it was like all over everything that is the best have you had the honey buffalo from giada and it's so good it is no exaggeration fantastic fantastic but it's it is the best hot sauce i've ever had and it's not i think they just make it there i don't think they like like i'd love to get that bottled something yeah we gotta get this bottled i honey buffalo and a buffalo honey come on come on no disrespect to mom bro nice how did you know that i know everything about your mom andrew my mom's from buff how do you know she's a buffalo honey you know what's interesting you your dad liking honey liking buffalo honey or previously oh my god i'm getting slammed right now

wait how did you know my mom was born in buffalo that's not we've talked about that it's never come up my mom you talked about it all right i'm rusty oh really yeah did you know that yeah damn where's my where's my mom from your mom is from uh somewhere in pennsylvania i want to say andrew your mom is wait let me think from um your mom is from south carolina no your mom is from come on oh my god i totally know this new york no it's on maine what's my favorite food cereal pennsylvania bingo she's from lucky germs pennsylvania Oh, Hershey

Skyline She's from Cincinnati Oh, Cincinnati I didn't know that Fuck me That's where my mom's from Fuck me, man Your mom's from Cincinnati?

Yeah Really? Yeah, Dayton Shit Wait, actually? Yeah You know I'm going there? Yeah, you've been a couple times, right?

I have, but I'm going there in May for Her brother's graduation Yeah Are you Her brother's graduation Yeah, well I'm going to go see my grandparents And then Lauren's brother's graduation

For the listeners I'm going for some brother's graduation I'm going to Cincinnati Fly to Cincinnati, I'm going to spend a day with my grandpa and grandma, and then I'm going to drive to Dayton for the graduation. I have not gotten the invite for Flan's brother's graduation. Is he also graduating college? He's a senior at UCLA.

Oh, well, you'll probably go just because it's here, right? I think they have a finite amount of tickets. Oh, I mean, I'm not begging. I think it's more like I'm sure you'll go to events that weekend. Oh, you don't think you'll go to the ceremony? I mean, I probably will, but that's not the part I'm like. i probably will you get you have like a heart you have like a brain i probably will i probably will you're looking in the mirror i probably and you're like i'm probably fucking rusty or something so

so what so i will go to his graduation i'm saying that's not like like i i think the day before there's like some sort of like festivities and things that will be fun the weekend i graduated college is up there for me for best weekends of my life mine is not really yeah why what happened uh i don't know just nothing funny oh it wasn't bad no it was just kind of a nothing weekend yeah i was so ready to get out of college that i was just like counting down the fucking minutes by that point really for this for what like like because you were excited to move out to la or i was going to the peace corps at that point oh true i was just miserable i was just like depressed and like wanted to be done and wanted to like huh yeah i have been sad this week really but no i wouldn't

go as far as depressed yeah yeah um no i don't know i just had like a hard senior year honestly i just like and you were done but you had i was over it but i think it was expedited by the fact that all my friends had graduated like a year before true was scott the grade above you yeah that makes like all my best friends had graduated and i went back and i made really great friends but i just think like my heart was never in it and i just yeah wasn't taking care of myself and by the end of it i was like i need to like like it was like you ever just like want like a change just for like the sake of like resetting you're like i felt like the old like i wasn't going to change anything while i was still in school so it was i was just like if i could just get

out of school yes then i'll have like a it's like the urge to like get rid of half your closet yeah or like the urge to like move do you sometimes laundry i think i'm following your laundry yeah even like i was talking to chet who just moved to the east side yeah why did he do that well part of the i mean i think there's a lot of reasons but like in his work is over there now but or i don't yeah he's working over there you can say he's a managing a starbucks he's a manager at starbucks now he's the okay he's a managing partner of starbucks of a loft he's the new star it's chester spreading his legs instead of the seat lady is she spreading her legs yeah you didn't know that what pull up starbucks pull up original starbucks logo it's her like flashing v

and then they like corporatized it we saw this in japan and she's got like her tatas out it's like crazy well anyway he was saying he was like part of it is just like like you fall into the habits and stuff and it's just nice to not anything like bad but just like sometimes just like a fresh start like a new neighborhood even it's just like a new like i love i just was so ready to i was sick of being in yeah boston college and i am not shitting on boston college it's a great place i was just over it were you did you have one of those girls in like high school who like when you were freshmen she was friends with like all the older people and then when they graduated she had to like make friends in your grade yeah we had a girl like that and she'd be like she came

came crawling back to us crawling back oh crawling back oh look at you grenly what was her name granoli granoli yep it was granoli so you were like kind of that guy did you have underclass freshmen i had made friends i had underclass freshmen no i what was the what was it the multiple choice multiple choice fresh well of course i had my trivia team the multiple choice freshmen and uh yeah so we know i kind of bonded through that these guys that were bus bus boys at the restaurant i was a waiter at and uh oh that's awesome they became my buddies that's great i lived with them did they go to they're great yeah and so we all lived together senior year so i was very lucky that i had like a friend group that they just kind of brought me in

and welcomed me and like yeah i had friends but i just my heart wasn't in it yeah and i think that led me to engage in uh like i just didn't care about school and i was definitely like partying too much yeah i partied a little too hard it's just like yeah but like partying and it was like partying in a way that it was like i was like i had like lost sight of like what i i don't know brother there was there was no foresight in the way i was parted in either yeah it got like dark a little and that's kind of why i quit and joined the peace corps yeah but i remember we would link up yeah for work trips when we were both seniors in college and it was like this is not good for either of us yeah i feel like that's a pretty universal experience because i also hated my

senior year of college really yeah and i was also like dying for a change i was like tired of my friends i was tired of work one of your buddies i was tired of text yeah i just think like i i have so much regret when i think back to it like the idea of like so many of those classes like i just wish i had like cared more and like really yeah like you wanted to like learn more i think there's like things now that i'm like i can't i took a class on that and i feel like i learned not oh like tableau i had the same thing with like tableau like i wish i'd paid more attention to my tableau class what the hell is tableau it's like how you make like graphs be careful here i can't tell i don't know how yet but i you guys are getting it's like an app no it's like a it's

like a microsoft shred light i think sweet software we're in tabloid we're in murky waters we do not want to get tabloid right now uh yeah i mean mine was like my poli side stuff like i just i mean i still did well relatively but but did you did you think you were going after the peace like were you thinking after the peace corps you would come back to stuff like this or were you thinking like politics or or just not i mean it was gonna be two years so i was kind of like i'll figure it out while i'm over there yeah but also i think like in retrospect honestly like i got denied on like mental health concerns and like i was pretty upset because i do think that was like maybe a little dramatic but in retrospect too like i don't know that i was trying to go for

the right reasons because i as much as i do think it would have i would have found a way to make the most out of it i don't think i was supposed to be going there to like escape my life and habits like i think that's why the peace corps in particular was really appealing to me because i was like oh i could it's just like a total clean slate and i can just like i don't know like start my whole life and i like two years i don't know do you think that they were somewhat right like were you like a little off the rails no i mean i was definitely a little off the rails but not in a way that like i don't think i would have like had a freak out while i was in one of these countries i think that's what they're worried about it's like

they send you over there and then you have some sort of like mental health crisis and have to get sent home i feel pretty confident that wouldn't have happened but i also think that i wasn't doing it for the right reasons do you think they sniffed that out or do you think they were assuming that maybe i think they thought i was gonna have like a freak out or something interesting but i don't know but or maybe they sent it out you know i grew a beard senior year of college i kind of like you kind of had like a um because i had a buzz cut too yeah buzz cut and beard yeah like you were like in your like shia labeouf era in more ways than one i was in actually had a similar experience to him in new orleans you get arrested no but i ruined a uh relationship with a brand

for us oh that was senior year not for you and i i think that was senior year um what happened i got wait they left me alone i mean i was an adult they they left me that was i'm glad i'm glad i've brought no sense of responsibility to this situation in the last couple years hotel room they left me in my hotel room alone for like six hours and uh it was a creepy place and i was also just in a really weird mental health headspace and uh hell space and mental health and uh they had those like on the rocks cosmopolitans where it's like pre-made cosmos in a bottle and i just overshot it a little bit and then showed up to dinner with this client and was kind of fine i think and then they all wanted to do espresso martinis because they were

sober and i don't think they knew the extent to how drunk i was and so let they let me join and then after two i was like i think just like slurring my words and like it was like very uncomfortable for this woman rightfully so um and then we went out to a college bar to film this video for my short forms and my friends were still at two lane or one of my friends from home was still at two lane and she and her friends met me out there and it was like kind of a like mob of like of like freshmen and sophomores in college like these were young this was like the younger kid bar yeah and i was like taking pictures like jumping on kids like they can't get a picture i'd like jump into their arms and like i think i was just like freaking this

lady out and she was like no thank you it was an accident it was an accident they left him in his hotel room well yeah in my in my defense you expect to become like in the middle of the night like they left me in my hotel room all night i had to go out for hours it sounds like you ruined a relationship for being a chiller like i was no it was not it was not really the way i the way i still i think i think i still have a couple times where like you know people would argue i maybe overshoot it still a little bit but now i think it's in a slightly light-hearted way yeah and sometimes not but back then it was like if i got too drunk it was like menacing i think like i think it was like okay not very silly um i don't know it was an accident it was an accident dude speaking

of accidents and not letting something out i want you know i was saying i was gonna watch georgie the dog my mom's dog yeah i mean it definitely sounds like you were gonna tell a story about shitting your pants oh speaking of accidents and not letting something out my mom drops georgie the dog off at my house to watch and i had texted my roommates and was like hey um i'm really watching georgie tonight but she has mellowed out my mom assures me that she's not gonna have any accidents or anything she is so excited when she gets there it's like ripping around the house which is fine for a puppy like let it out and it just kind of keeps going for like two hours like non-stop like running in circles like running up on the couch like running

on everyone's chests and like she's so much bigger than she realized that like it can't hurt like the like the women she's like running on their boobs and then she squats to pee and i called her name like right as she did it like i couldn't have done it quicker but she still got a couple drops out so she peed in a little puddle on the ground i cleaned it up and i took her outside for like 45 minutes and i couldn't get her to go pee and then the second my mom was done with dinner she mellowed up and fell asleep on the couch fuck i know man what the fuck is up georgie i don't know man i think she's doing her best the dog yeah yeah and your mom yeah yeah how long is your mom here till this is her last or she has one more week sad she's been here for like two months three months

maybe it's been a minute i think uh yeah i think i agree not the asshole not yeah my mom is not the asshole for coming out here here's a question please do you know we're going we're going to jenny kimmel tomorrow i was i was literally about to bring that up i do you guys know who's going on the show yes have you looked no i haven't i don't know yet wait did you you how did you did did i tell you this we talked about in the merch meeting yesterday but we didn't know who was going on who the celeb is gonna be yeah so i figured out who the celeb's gonna be do you know i texted you did you not see it no in the group chat you and lauren sent like 30 fucking texts in a row like the one moment my phone was down it was like it was just an overwhelming amount to catch up on

that i was like i'm sure they'll catch me up so this all started for context is that we talked I told that story about my mom going on Kimmel, and then... And she rapped Rapper's Delight. Rapped Rapper's Delight. Jimmy Kimmel's niece reached out and sent Lauren a DM to get into... And was like, I want to invite you and the boys to a green room for a taping or whatever. So we're going tomorrow. I'm like, who's the guest going to be?

Who's the guest going to be? Tonight, it's Niall Horan. Wow. Tomorrow, it is pretty all-time. it's probably one of the funniest people it could be can you give me three hints and i'm gonna try and guess okay first hint if it had been a month ago i would be ecstatic and now i'm like there's no fucking way okay uh do you want me to guess not that i'm not excited but if it was like a month ago i'd be like wow that is like legendary all time and now i'm like okay what are the odds

of that mom donnie no so what is what some something has happened in the last month that made this person go to from like oh my god that would be such an honor to meet them to like that's insane if i had a nickel okay second hand funny funny so comedian who has recently i'm i'm portraying it wrong not like recently had a scandal just my the percent my excitement about meeting them oh david cross no way oh man isn't that hysterical he's gonna think we're like fucking falling yeah dude i don't even want that i know it's so funny he's gonna think we're like we're not fun we'll just tell him what happened it's funny also i don't think he'll be in that same green room i think that green room is for like for like friends edge said the jimmy kimmel

green room used to be like a legendary like meet can you google jimmy kimmel green room it was on like an episode of entourage if i'm remembering correctly i gotta get an entourage that's so finding this david gross oh my god open bar speaking of my entourage remind me to tell you what happened to ty well it looks so that's a comic club oh my god do you think they're gonna do you think there's gonna be like masseuses in case we get sore or something yeah and i and we will get sore anyway the other person's charlie poof though oh i like charlie poof a lot charlie speaking of my entourage Ty

did I tell you Ty's car thing no you don't want to tell me Ty's car story it's not history it's car story he is an agent now as you know no longer

whatever is below agent I think there's a middle thing i think there's a third more agent he just did a deal or helped a deal for one of his artists with porsche nice and porsche reached out i already told you this no i saw this on the story oh nice yeah just did a deal for porsche they sent him an email or a text and they were like hey we have this fleet of porsches pick a six-week chunk we'll give you a 9-11 so just for june and two weeks of august he's just gonna have a 9-11 that's so cool

i told edge i was like i was like we gotta start writing this into like what next time we do a white claw deal i want to be able to drive the 18 wheeler around for six weeks a month and a half a 9-11 and wipe out half the population all right guys that's our show thank you thank you guillermo a month and a half of 9-11 would be a disaster would be a fucking disaster i mean like an hour of it already fucked us how long was 9-11 i mean that what does that mean like 8 a.m till it wasn't like 8 a.m to 10 a.m like when from the first plane going in to the how long between the first plane and the second plane i want to say it was like even less than that like 20 minutes later okay for me it never ended can we thank you

true patriot and i never can you google time the first plane hit the tower to the collapse of the second tower so 8 46 a.m first plane flight 11 hits north tower uh power collapse at nine so an hour and 10 minutes yeah it's 20 minutes it's like an episode of game of thrones yeah damn you're not dylan thomas who's dylan thomas you're not him bro i'm aware i'm not patty smith this is this is one of your new songs let me guess let me guess it's by i'm gonna guess the name of the band your your new favorite band this week it's uh mustache picnic no it's close radiator watch i mean as all things considered all things considered that's closer to that band than it is to 98 no it was taylor swift bro

radiator i made up radiator watch oh my radiator watch it's kind of a good band name it is a great picture books though picture books oh my lord do you guys have requests when you guys do brain deals brain deals brand deals got them you got brain deals uh brain deals what do you mean request like do you ever like add something in the contract of like i also want there to be i don't know eminem we don't have a ton of writer we're kind of uh we are happy for kind of just the money the money usually yeah money suffices for i mean i've requested like we have a guy who now does my laundry yep thanks to bear bells yeah yeah bear bells has a guy does my laundry now I did an Etch-a-Sketch deal where they have to give me an ounce of Coke every month.

Better Help does my taxes. Better Help CPA does my taxes. Yes, that's been a perk. No, I'm trying to get a Chicago Marathon bib from a prospective sponsor right now. Do you want to plug your charity? I'm going to plug my charity. no um so i i we gotta get the will denon foundation off the ground i know i'm working on it uh my cousin taylor was works for the ba which is the race or that organized the boston marathon what

kind of errands do they have you running for the ba what kind of errands do they have you running for the da uh what's that from that's my cch pounder it's always sunny what other errands What other errands do they have you running for the DA? Or wait, no, it's from another show, but they quote it on It's Always Sunny. Yeah, he's doing an impression of CCH Pounder. My friend Alex Grove. What other errands do they have you running for the DA? I don't know if that's very good.

My friend Alex Grove has the best impression of that line. Really? Like, the best. If I close my eyes, it feels like CCH is in the room. Sorry, so your charity. Yeah, I was lucky enough to get a bib for the Boston Marathon in a month, and my cousin Taylor does a lot of work for this organization called the New England Adaptive Sports, and so they help people with vision or mobility issues be able to participate in sports. They have a bunch of people participating in the Boston Marathon that are wheelchair racing, other sort of accommodations and stuff. Oh, in the marathon.

Yeah, they have people in the marathon, but they also just, like, put on, like, they host, like, events so that people who ordinarily couldn't participate in sports get to do sports because sports be awesome. Sports be awesome. As a kid, that's, like, the coolest thing. Sports be go-to. Yeah. And so. We'll put the link in the description. Yeah, if you guys want to donate, my brother and I set up a page to help fundraise.

It's kind of generally going to be down in the description like this. It's going to be generally right here. I will say, like, the playmates are go-to. like i just put something on my story on sunday and within less than a day we had fifteen hundred dollars raised fantastic um and i'm giving out three rice pilaf shirts so if you donate uh you have a chance to get a free rice pilaf and i will match that and match two rice pilaf you can have yeah i will match for the i will match will's uh donation each person will be getting two rice people after it's there you go um but yeah also if you live in boston come out on marathon monday

and support me it would be awesome i will say that there were there were more people than i could have ever expected in minnesota my last marathon and it every time it's like it's like every interaction it's like a 30 second time period where you're not thinking about how tired you are it's like hitting a mushroom in mario kart literally um so come out i was cracking up i texted will about this but and your brother sam but uh andrew when you click on the link to donate to will's thing there are it's pretty standard like with any charity where they're like suggested amounts yeah but i opened theirs up and it's like it's like 75 130 262 and i texted them like kind of ponzi schemer you guys running here like this this feels really fishy and then will was

like yeah i had a similar like moment where i was like what is this it's just the distance so like 26.2 262 131 yeah to the to the guy who's not constantly thinking about marathons i was like this feels like somehow correct getting scammed yeah i was thinking it was like the amount that like gofundme takes out so they're like compensating oh oh oh yeah yeah here's i mean here's the thing i i'm not proud of this but i i didn't do the 262 i did the 130 by the time also i i am writing it off for the record and you can do that yeah i did that this tax season pretty awesome but by the time you're done 149 who's yeah there's like the website fees and stuff yeah i challenge i challenge charity websites out there to donate their ten dollars

do you think are any blind people running the marathon with a good seeing eye dog uh maybe not with a dog but i think they have like people person yeah that would be a nightmare because my aunt who is like visually impaired pretty significantly did a triathlon with my cousin just did the whole thing with her mom and like helped like guided her leash they got like tethered together no they just went together it's honestly so impressive it's unbelievable yeah like the swimming to me is the scarier part of that one thousand percent like in the ocean she biked yeah a two-wheel bike two-wheel bike oh my god it's amazing what people can do i can barely ride it oh my god do you see that guy who uh his brother wanted to be a

an iron man but he was uh he had cerebral palsy and so the guy did an iron man the swimming the What you said that is like, as opposed to the other kind of palsy. Oh, that was cerebral palsy. Sorry. I like, I meant like if he has some other issue that I didn't want to say with absolute certainty, but I would bet a lot of money. It was cerebral palsy. How much?

$132. Deal. Uh, and so the swimming portion, he's towing his brother in like a raft. Okay. the biking portion uh there's like a thing connected to the back of his bike where he's like pulling him on two wheels and then the running portion i think he pushed him in like a kind of like athletic wheelchair that's badass it was it was awesome it was sick we could do that if you want i'm just like reading watching reels i think i just i think will denon just passed me

and rusty was watching real oh man that's unbelievable i don't understand how people want to make it harder for themselves like the guy that dribbled the whole la marathon yeah that sounds i'm like it's like a little bit out of this tip is that what you're thinking i was there was some there was something there kind of penis wise that i hadn't totally figured out yet took such a big p at the beginning he dribbled the whole 26 miles or like those guys who get diarrhea on their marathons and you're just kind of like dropping i hope i shit myself would you okay i think we had talked about this last time so what do you want to do you want to do three hours this time 330

would you for 315 would you would you diarrhea yourself at the half halfway point 315 would be awesome probably not 259 diarrhea yourself the second the starting gun not even from running i just get scared shitless literally oh yeah i would shit myself as a starting line for a 259 there was a video of like a children's track meet um where one pair the captain was like i forgot to warn him about the starter pistol and so the starter pistol goes off and all the kids take off and the one kid just bangs a hard left and like runs away from yeah i would i would shoot myself for a two is there a way to avoid shooting yourself not everyone shits themselves yeah you avoided it last time what do you mean i know but like is there like

a strategy to like the foods that you eat or like i think you kind of want at all times you probably want the least amount of poop in you i mean yeah i would say the number one way to not shit yourself is to shit the night or shit like the morning of yeah but you can't control that yeah you eat breakfast but no you kind of can like or you can't but like you have to shit the morning before your race yeah but you like you literally like i'll sit on the toilet for an hour if that's i can't even come to work without pooping oh my god actually this morning i did it for the first time because i went to golf before and then i came straight here and uh yeah i i i went in the back bathroom and went fucking berserker i poop here every day in the

front bathroom i try not to because it's just the rest of the day i'm thinking about it i like it i like pooping at the office why i don't know i heard like uh it's like the boss makes a dollar i make a dime that's why i poop on company time do you save it for when you get to work no i just feel like i usually don't also we can kind of just show up like i feel like we we show up and leave you know not as we please not as we please but like you know not on the on the dot so it's like if i'm gonna poop in the if pooping in the morning means i would show up 30 minutes late to work like it doesn't really but i would say i have my bulk of my typically have the bulk of my coffee here and that's what sort of is the catalyst of my defecation i'm a

coffee at home guy now i make i usually have a cup or two in the morning at home but not but then i come in here and i have like two or three and then that's what i really fucking open the floodgates you know i've been like mr frugal lately really oh my god i'm on fire mr frungle hi mr frungle hi mr frungle maybe we write a movie mr frungle sorry i'm a fucking asshole i feel weird today i feel pretty good sorry what were you saying no i'm just i'm trying to be more frugal and i've realized it was the credit card the whole time i just needed i've just been using my debit card and when i can see how much money is yeah coming out i don't buy things as much w but you don't get points i know man it's not about the points anymore it's about my credit

score all team i'm fixated on my credit score now so i have like no i got no debt oh yeah you can't improve your credit score if you don't use a credit card no but i i am i have like a fixed amount of things that are like subscribed to that oh i see that like will get me to a reasonable amount per month you know i'll give you credit if you want oh my lordy oh my so ever since lauren came back from her trip yeah is she like a changed person are you like you're not the she's like barcelona yeah she says barcelona um she didn't even go there she's like when i was or you know they say it barcelona yeah no that's amsterdam i spent a week in france where you're no she your friend like vacationed in northern europe

and they're like you know over there they say barcelona yeah you were in the netherlands so yeah they still say it like that uh yeah she's changed she's um totally different now armpit hair as long as the nile yeah and um she can't speak she forgot english so it's been sort of like uh we've been it's like project hail mary you in this fucking book i've never seen anything like it are you excited to see it i can't wait i'm seeing it tonight you know it's funny wait but oh sorry have you seen it i haven't no sorry they have to like learn a language with each other like starting from scratch so they have to start from like wait they're creating a new language yeah well he i don't think it's a spoiler they do it in

all the trailers he meets like an alien spoiler well that's in is it how similar is it to et it's like et but he instead of phoning home he does something else no but like they have to like starting from scratch trying to learn a language of someone where you have no commonalities got it It's like dances with wolves when he's like, ta-dun-ka. Yes, so that's like what Lauren and I are doing right now. Got it. Have you seen dances with wolves? Yes, ta-dun-ka.

Ta-dun-ka. Yeah. Yeah. Here's my thing. I wouldn't immediately go buffalo there. If someone put their hands like this, I guess I don't live in the prairie, but my thought would be like devil or like, yeah, dog. You want to try it?

Yeah. All right. Try to communicate something to me completely non-verbally. And like make up a word for it? yeah glass water yes uh it's really good for the audio listeners that was actually really good phone phone iphone iphone yeah wait he's like splitting hairs with the alien yeah like the alien's figuring out he's like get the brand right oh oh god you fucking rock does lauren do the thing where she's like ah the gelato was so much

better in italy um no she does do the thing where like i guess the guy she was with over there was just like a little bit more attentive to her needs so that phenomenal lovers over there yeah when you lived in europe did you hook up with any of the ladies i was no weren't you like 13 i had never i hadn't had my first kiss how old were you 15 that's not an age to be like no i was 15 i didn't say that roll the clip i meant it more like a no i my my white ass was not did you hook up any of the girls on your most recent trip no comment nice um have you been in any time i guess what i'm getting at is have you ever hooked up with a european woman a boy doesn't kiss and tell andrew have you ever hooked up with a european woman no i've never been to europe actually

i haven't either you haven't been to europe no i haven't hooked up with a european girl w and now i never now i'll never get the chance w l i don't want to be anything oh my god i rage quit simulator golf this morning what happened it's just like i played last night with footy and i played really well this second round we played and then i kind of was like oh okay i'm like i have like some good swing thoughts i gotta like know what i need to do what movements i need to kind of focus on and then i got there this morning and it just wasn't there and so i tried to fight through it and then after like 45 minutes i was just like it's so stupid i'm going to work do you did you have you heard about the golfer who had to get a new pair of pants

yeah because he or because he had a hole in one oh my god at my wedding last week i used the whoa big drop yeah congratulations um but you went to a wedding last week i went to a wedding two weeks ago is that where you're in d-town stand up yeah dallas yeah um the wedding was really cool it was in this like uh like kind of summer camp kind of area and so there was like a boy's cabin like a girl's cabin you know and we did a panty raid um good you always know to ask it was uh it was really fun it was like summer camp vibes that day but um i was using the ball washer joke on everyone brought the house down it's best brought the house down every really told it to me willie's dad told you willie willie told to me i told it to you now you have to pass

it on to someone else and and that's what i did i passed on to a group did you hear about the amish prostitute uh uh jab but yeah no i haven't heard about it she slept with several men a night you know there there was a group of quakers at rollins like the fucking oats like putting a laugh track there putting a big laugh track Can we start putting laugh tracks on our... You get one per episode. All right. That's mine.

I want that. Big laugh track. Yeah, they met in this kind of small room. And I don't really know what Quakers do, but I think their main thing is they're pacifists. Yes. Which is a good... That's a fun main principle. Yeah.

you know what i mean or at least that there's like one thing you know what i mean like i grew up catholic there wasn't like there wasn't like one thing we prided ourselves on that one there's one main thing you can't jo can't jo cannot jo it's the only thing jack off oh jack oh are you catholic uh no are you religious i grew up methodist what is it feels like it's only it's like is that a southern thing it might be it's like um a pretty lax christianity i would say god can you google differences between methodist and i mean it's like a pro yeah is it protestant yeah so it's like they don't think the body and blood is actually jesus is like a big thing that was always a hang-up for me 94 others i think that was always a hang-up for me was like

that you are technically supposed to believe that it is genuinely transformed into the body and blood of christ yeah i couldn't that was always a hang-up for me i'm gonna be honest never bought it i didn't buy it either it was bread bro i'm gonna help right now you know you can just buy those uh you know you can buy the eucharist on like amazon what's that well yeah i mean the it's not supposed to be jesus when you buy it no no i know but no no i'm sorry that was a separate thought okay it was like that still feels like i who was saying that they like put they like dip it in hummus because they just like like the taste that's awesome i i just think it's a eucharist it is like a little little tiny circle way oh the way like bless and turn into i mean it

could be anything that's just seems to be like the widely accepted we did like actual bread that's pretty cool churches i think what's funny is like going to a catholic college it's like old like there's such like an intellectual standard that you're held to in like things but then like the one exception is like that where it's like oh no but that's actually his body you're like well that every other class i would get a bad grade if i said something like that But then in this one thing. Biochem kids are like, come on, man. I don't understand.

Yeah, that's weird. And they make you take theology, and taking a class on theology just made me less religious. Because I was like, this is crazy. We had a religion semester of one of my history classes in high school. It was all the different. I think that's pretty normal, at least public school. I don't think so. where we like explored like they like explained to us what like most religions were none south

i thought i thought that was very fun yeah i mean i think it's all fascinating i just i don't know if it's real but i oh nobody knows i was just gonna say we had a group of um catholic kids that were like in the private school from kindergarten through eighth grade and then when they got to high school they all like failed biology because they were like what's an atom what's a molecule they didn't know any of that stuff because they were like too busy in theology class what's an atom you mean eve brother come on you know flan went to catholic school like her whole life until usa and uh and i think she said there was like a similar thing where like there were there were certain things that were like conveniently left out of her education like

what i think like what you're saying like science stuff yeah i don't know if it was like i think they were like teaching them like chemistry but i just i don't know if they were like i think they may have like conveniently left out the evolution part but they were so her school like nuns lived there like there was a what is it a covenant yeah it was a covenant they lived there they taught there they lived there and then now they ran out of nuns and they all like moved out but so they like took they used to like take them on a tour of it to like show people what it was like they never got to step foot in it and then like before maybe before they graduated they would show them i think trying to like recruit people and i think like you know one girl a grade might like be

interested in trying to become a nun seems like a hard thing to sign up for same with being a priest I'm like now they're like Oh like no one's being priest And I'm like yeah it sounds just boring Can't even J-O I think you can probably J-O They definitely are all J-O-ing Honestly they should be J-O-ing more

I think we'd have saved ourselves a lot of trouble If they were fucking J-O-ing Yeah dude if you could peel your taffy a little bit Isn't that why they have the confessions though J-O and go confess Do priests confess Yeah What sins do they confess

one another oh they have to go to another church you never saw another priest what you never saw knives out no the new one they do that huh there's sinners too no one's perfect except jesus come on come on god's plan god's plan i go hard sometimes i sometimes i don't it's like it's like a obama thing i go hard sometimes i don't i'll make sure that north side eat kiki do you love me play a laugh i'm gonna use my laugh track are you riding you never ever do george bush well

well passionate from miles away passionate in the things you say is that what he sounded like oh my god or

passionate passionate it may not mean nothing to y'all I played golf with his i understand nothing was done for me play golf with his uh nephew two weeks ago biden yeah did he dm you what did he dm you no he's friends with other guys i golf with and uh and a funny story about that was they thought they the first time i went out with this like crew they thought he was in the group behind us because it was like a guy long blonde hair

tucked behind his ear green bag and they were like oh my god it's biden and he hit a drive and it like rolled up on us and so on the next hole they were like chirping him after he hit his shot and then he's like walking down the par three like with his arms out like what are you guys fucking ripping me about and it just wasn't it was just a different guy with the exact same haircut and the exact same bag and everyone had to be like hi i'm sorry his bag is deep are your hands not cooked from playing golf all the time i have a new callus uh on this finger from yeah see it from uh playing a lot but this one has a glove on it because you're doing the sim like every day right i do the sim that i'm playing i play in the morning i'm playing penmar

tomorrow morning um i think we're gonna go to irvine on saturday and play you've been golf maxing i know i have been golf maxing and uh i'm enjoying it a lot i like it it's made sneaking out of the office a little harder because i have my golf bag with me like i passed demetrius yesterday at like 3 or something 3 30 or something and he was like are you going are you going golfing and i was like no let's go golfing oh my god but no i mean i it's here's the thing here's the thing with me throughout my life i've always had different things that i'm excited about that like when i'm having a not so great day i'm like i will be doing that later and so having something like that has made everything less daunting if i'm having a not great day that

makes sense i would imagine it feels it feels like how like surfers i imagine feel you don't you meet a guy who like all they're like you're talking to them but you're like you just want to go surfing later that's how i feel about golf right now that's awesome i'm curious if it will stay because i've had i've definitely been this passionate about it before um so i'm curious if i will how long i will stay this excited about it i think you will stay excited about it forever thank you in college i got the golf bug and i i had like no classes senior year i was in like is that an edgar allen three hours story say it again what the golf bug i'm not even kidding i don't even really get it i don't i thought that was okay go ahead

damn you guys got poed no um and uh so i just go to the range were you trying to and i didn't i fucked you no oh okay sorry i'm kidding um i would just go on the range for like hours every day and i just ruined my hands and i stopped playing because i had to let my uh hands recover and then all that momentum i just lost it it's not you don't want to be You don't want to just be grinding on the rain. I think that happens in the office. Do we just get officed? Or is it like Andy just goes to the range?

You had a big sale. Yeah, you had a big sale. And so the night before you hit the range for so long, you had to wear gloves full of Vaseline. Yeah. Look up Edgar Allen Poe stories. I'm pretty sure one's called The Golf Bug. Have you read Of Mice and Men?

Yeah, a long time ago. You know what always freaked me out is the scary guy wore a glove full of lotion so that he could pleasure his lady. That was pretty weird. Oh, I don't like that. Oh, yeah, there it is. Wait, really? Adventure Mystery.

The Gold Bug. The Gold Bug. Did he write the Raven? I'm impressed. I was one letter off. Was Edgar Allan Poe the Raven? Yeah. You know what the Ravens, the football team, are named after?

Yeah. Isn't that wild? he's from there he's from baltimore still feels like he's like a goat but like but like most owners like most owners of football teams i imagine are not huge po heads yeah but they didn't have like movies back then or tv but it's still like every other one is just like a thing like a general kind of thing i guess the browns are named after a guy are they yeah isn't it jim brown i don't think i think he played on he played for the browns but the browns are named after a guy just forget who it is paul brown who's their first head coach

it's kind of cool i have a team named after you wait were they called the runs when he was the coach i'm not fucking playing for this guy he's a narcissist don't they hate paul i think he owns the i think his grandson or something owns the well they bangles and they hate him well aren't the browns now the ravens like the old browns are now yes the ravens and the new browns are like just they just started it over yeah like he moved the team to baltimore i think yeah did you hear out when the colts moved i think from st louis to indianapolis they were from baltimore the colts were yeah they didn't tell anyone except for a select amount of people so like a bunch of people showed up to the office that morning and like the whole office was like completely empty and

overnight people have packed their bags and moved to indianapolis isn't that insane must have told The moving guy. Play another rapture. You don't get two. It's fucking our show. We can do whatever we want. I'm going to fart out of my penis. What?

Did you actually just do it? Yeah. Crazy. Can I go pee? Yeah. I got to pee too, actually. Willie, what's your guilty pleasure drink? Pinnacle vodka.

and what's your go-to drink for different occasions for different occasions i go pinnacle vodka no i'm serious this shit goaded come on man y'all pinnacle vodka was born to be the pinnacle of value vodka from the beginning okay they've sought to do two things make high quality vodka and offer that award-winning vodka at a reasonable place price it's distilled five times for a crisp smooth finish it's 100 distilled from cane and it is made in the usa it is made in the usa so guys next time you're stocking the bar grab pinnacle vodka great vodka at a great price please drink responsibly must be 21 plus y'all it's the season for tickets it's ticket season you know why as the weather gets nice we're talking outdoor concerts baseball's back

mls is back sports festivals sports festivals everything is back and i can't wait uh i bought tickets for my brother and dad are going to the mets this weekend i can't go anymore but i did buy them on c geek and i sent them their tickets today so they are very excited i know i'm gonna go see rainbow kitten surprise soon i'm also gonna see the mets when they're here in la in a couple weeks but I mean look at this I'm not kidding you can see I've used this app a million times for a million different tickets and I can't say enough good things there are over 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek 35 million downloads makes SeatGeek the number one rated ticketing app there's a bunch of artists on tour right now Bruno Mars, Zara Larson, Lady Gaga, Cardi B,

chris stapleton i can't read that one luke combs bts ariana grande and more plus the usa is hosting the world cup this year two of the games are in the group round or in la so grab your tickets now guys i love using cg because they have your back each ticket is rated on a scale of one to ten so you know you're getting a good deal just look for the green dots green means good red means bad just like a stoplight and every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee stop stop means bad yes greet go go good stop bad guys concert season is right around the corner to make it even better you can use code play date 10 10 off your c geek tickets that's 10 off tickets with promo code play date 10 make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the

code automatically added to your account so you can use it later thank you so much c geek let's get back into the episode um i think it's time we roadmap it up let's do it we got a full roadmap for you guys today we're gonna hear your pit or we're gonna hear your pitches thought of our pitches then we're gonna do confessions if we have time we'll do a permitting then we'll do this guy rocks teach me something harry potter spells that don't exist and racehorses that don't exist can we skip permitting yes okay i just do have a yes time let's do it confession time i have to go to the pitches nice what time's the movie four hello John Wilkes and Booth Wilkes Booth I'll be and John what's Booth the worst part about bowling what's the worst part about bowling yes

uh being in the middle of a story and then it's your turn or it's someone else's turn and they're they haven't noticed that it's their turn it's been like 45 seconds and you don't want to be rude but they have to get up and bowl gutter ball that's pretty bad too that's right the awkward walk back to your group after you bowl yeah introducing the tele bowl i am pitching a device that teleports you right back to your seat after you finish hitting that awesome strike because you feel like you have to go like yeah or something like finger guns yeah or like if you throw a bad ball you have to pretend like yeah or like that you don't care yeah and then if you hit a strike you gotta be mr cool if you throw a kinder ball you have to go what the fuck this

lane's fucked and call the boss yeah go ahead yeah uh i'm still workshopping this maybe it could be a device that alters the memory of your friends and family to forget that weird moment where you don't know what to do with your hands and face as you walk on the slippery floor um honestly i need help with this one because i genuinely will say no to bowling because of how awkward i feel in these moments love watching the pod i'm obsessed to the point where it's concerning from sophie wait that's really funny because i've never thought about that but that is i have an idea hit me sophie here's what you're gonna do in the same way there's a ball return for the bowling balls there's a human return so you ball you just sit down on a seat and it just

brings you underground and then replaces the part of the couch where you were originally shoots you back up out of the seat and you kind of like clank into everyone yeah that's perfect not the asshole i'm in all right i've got a pitch you ready yep the pre-restaurant okay so you ever go to a busy restaurant and they're like oh yeah like your table ready in 30 minutes if you want you can get a drink at the bar yeah it's like you go to the bar it's like crowded there's a fucking no one to set your drink down it's like you kind of feel like you're in the way yes it's a holding space that's a full other restaurant that just has apps and little drinks and you can only eat and drink there if you're waiting for a table at the main restaurant yes

yes fantastic it's a pre-restaurant and then and then that would have just transfers yeah that would also make the wait for people even shorter because when you get there you're already ready to just order your main course bingo yeah so you turn tables quicker i like it maybe we could use sophie's uh human like it just your whole table just moves down and just over and under into the spot you could even have like three layers like the first place you can just get little drinks then you escalate to like little bites and a big drink yeah and then when you're like when you finish your entrees like you go into another room and you have dessert yeah everyone just keeps fucking and then the old that's where the exit is everyone just moves through the yeah and the

whole table moves yep yep i love it okay what's the worst part about getting a nosebleed you know like a thing on my foot uh the blood the blood but embarrassing like the blood leaving your nose you know what i mean right yes just needed you to be a little bit more specific right so that people would have thought i met the boy going into it so that i could so that well sometimes it stays up whatever yeah you gotta like rush to the bathroom and like ball up a piece of toilet paper roll it up and like shove it in your nose and you got like this whole thing nose tampons they come in like a cigarette pack and they're like ready to rip perfect size for your nose so it's not hanging all the way out it's just like yeah it's like how musicians have like earplugs

that are molded perfectly to their ear you just open your little cigarette pack of nose tampons pop one in you're good to go you can keep and it's like badass yeah somehow they're like people start doing it just to look cool yeah like they have like flames on them or something yeah yeah isn't that what boxers use uh never done box i don't know oh no oh yeah they do have those things i've actually seen those before fuck and it's called nampons oh and it looks like this kind of cigarette shaped as well oh my god it's the drawing board back to the drawing board i guess holy you can get it on pre-restaurant yeah okay all right should we do confessions yeah hi my name is noah long oh my name is noah longtime fan i grew up

with a guy named no long tested positive for being a detard i got hard on i got a hard on when watching the women's figure skating competition what i mean here's the thing man you got a hard on oh god why did you tell us that why'd you say your first name and last name or you didn't say your last here's the thing man there's nothing wrong with being patriotic we have all gotten a little riled up during the olympics yeah i mean it's for your country it could also happen during skiing that could happen during bobsled you're only naming the ones where they have skin tight outfits on that's almost during archery the biathlon that could happen during the biathlon you would have been getting hard for both men's and women's

um here's the thing here's the thing these people are beautiful this is it's a b it's beautiful how they look it's beautiful how they're moving through the air it's beautiful how they're competing for their country yeah all of this is sexy i think you know it happens it happens i don't think you can blame yourself for getting a little hard chub yeah i mean are we talking like full boner or like just like a little blood rushing down there was an act first of all i believe he said it was an accident yeah uh i mean as long as you didn't act on it i'm assuming you didn't start jacking off so i think yeah there's nothing wrong with heaven heaven heaven for you heaven american heaven all right forgive me father for i have sinned in college whenever i went out

and came home late i had this habit of eating my roommate's food not on purpose but drunk me had zero boundaries with whatever was in the fridge i would set an alarm early the next morning wake up and go straight to the grocery store to replace everything before they even noticed same exact items no substitutions i did this for years they never found out i'm not proud of it but i was very very committed to covering my truck that's awesome i mean i feel like even if they found out like okay double heaven also like they weren't like they just get fresher new yeah like how is it new again i get fresher stuff i got a story about that hit me when i was a sophomore in college i lived in a four guy four bedroom house with three of my buddies and one of them

would eat peter's food constantly when he was high like just could not help himself like pub sub anything like it like didn't matter what it was like he would just like eat it if it was peter's yeah i'm in the shower and peter uh comes into my bathroom and is like yelling at me for eating his food and i was like wait what like let me get to the bottom of this what the roommate had gotten caught and said that i was eating his food and threw me under the bus and i just came out and was like what are you talking about and he was like i don't know bought him like a minute what brought him like a minute or two yeah yeah just like buying yourself time for the sake of buying yourself you know it's gonna end the exact same way yeah that's insane but i uh yes i mean honestly

like if my roommate told me that they were eating my food and they replaced it or first thing in the morning as long as they replaced it like that month yeah like they didn't do it they didn't have to wait yeah that's great w w heaven all right forgive me father for i have sinned one of my high school teachers was a cancer survivor but also really mean one day i jokingly said to my friends that i hope a little bit of the cancer comes back so we get a sub but a lot of the cancer came back and she died hell what are you doing man this is in high school we've all said things when we were playing with fire and crying there's smoke come on we've all said things in high school we're not proud of the important thing is to not make the same mistake again forgive yourself uh

i obviously would imagine you wish you didn't say that um so i'm not gonna hold it against you i think we've all said things about mean teachers teachers can be cruel to kids obviously you went a little too far i've never said anything wrong so ever no okay i know there were a couple teachers i wish died when i was in high school and i'm glad and i'm glad they didn't so i understand where his head i understand where his head was at at the time uh still hell though still hell one thousand percent 18 million years don't beat yourself up over it yeah even even jesus spent a little time in hell i think wait wait one second let me fact check play the laugh track play the laugh track all right i'm gonna read one verse from the bible and we'll see who it applies to

the most okay insane mine eyes do fail with tears my bowels are troubled my liver is poured upon the earth for the destruction of the daughter of my people because the children and the suckling swoon in the streets of the city they say to their mothers where is corn and wine when they swooned as the wounded in the streets of the city when their soul was poured out into their mother's bosom that's gotta be me right that's gotta be you yeah i was thinking rusty yeah all right i'm gonna be honest i don't that was like we're missing context yeah bowels being in the first sentence felt like a sign that i need to go back to church uh okay should we do one more yeah one more confession hi so for context i'm 26 now and this happened my sophomore year of high school

when i was 16 so i feel like the statute of limitations has expired since it was 10 years ago it was one of the last days of school so classes were a joke and i was skipping my last period to clean out what i had left in my locker because it was during class i was the only person in the hallway suddenly a sensation came over me that i have not felt since since and i began to piss straight onto the floor through my skinny jeans it was completely involuntary i didn't feel the need to pee and before i could consciously realize what was happening my bladder had emptied i didn't know what to do so i grabbed all my stuff and ran out to my car as i was sprinting around the corner i ran into the janitor and yelled something like someone spilled before continuing

to sprint towards the parking lot i drove home stripped naked in my parents garage and threw my shoes socks and pants into the garbage can and immediately showered the shoes i just threw in garbage were almost new air force ones that i had begged my parents for i've never told a soul about this well wait did she her they soaked her air forces too or she just didn't want to like deal with it i think you probably shouldn't have pissed your pants but i i think you did can you what what we don't need to google it but what would what could that have been i think she came what you're like like it was like did she like squirt or something like involuntary completely empty your bladder you can't tell me it's just like a normal thing

gotta be squirt right and you play that laugh track the what is do we even know it's a girl yes yeah it's a girl yeah they were skinny jeans how do you know uh i was picturing it was written like a girl this happened my sophomore year of high school when i was 16 it has to be a girl right yeah then i mean doesn't say um could have been a guy is squirted i think he's wait the squirting thing is disgusting it was it was probably p squirt is p squirts p you know that i don't know i explained that to you did you yes um andrew will you play the laugh track like right after i say stop no you're abusing this No, no, no, I'm taking the squirts thing.

No, I, no. No. All right, should we do This Guy Rocks? Yeah, I sent you mine already. This guy rocks, this guy rocks, this guy rocks today. Hey, hey, I said this guy rocks, and he rocks so hard. He rocks in your house, and he rocks in your yard. There's rocks in my yard?

Thank you. So... Oh, I've seen this guy, yeah. this guy has been cracking me up if you missed it there was a guy driving in palm beach florida and a convertible and someone was like that's jeff jeff epstein yeah and he has since come out and released a statement so let's see i like the idea that if jeff epstein was alive he'd be driving a convertible palm beach i think like if any i don't i think if anyone would have the confidence to do it it would be him he's he's got held accountable once out of like 25 times yeah but

now he's uh public enemy number uno or 25 000 times how much is it daddy palm beach pete from sunny florida not a cloud in the sky i'm off to play some tennis i'm not jeffrey epstein i'm palm beach pete i want to thank all my followers this thing has gone crazy viral good morning everybody palm i just like the idea of sunny flow let's just go on beach how many followers this guy sunny florida i'm not jeff epstein i'm palm beach pete 20.9 you gotta beat you gotta beat thank you there's your guy kimmel yeah oh my god what if palm beach pete was gonna be on tomorrow i would lose my mind um all right let's see what willie got i've seen this this is so funny my son's birthday is the captain

for the audio listeners it is a guy going berserker mode and like throwing himself around the room at his son's sixth birthday party i mean he's gotta be like tweaking right i think he's i think he's just like only cares about himself i don't think it even has to be a thing also the way they're encouraging him i would assume this is pretty normal for their crowd shoved his son out of the way to jump face first the baby's crying he's just going fucking nuts yeah he's tweeting there's no way you can do this to your body

and that translates to I love him much and that guy's saying guys please call 911 really? no I don't speak Turkish alright should we do teach me something yeah do you know who Joe Kennedy is?

like JFK's grandson? dad oh okay there's a probably also there's a massachusetts yeah yeah yeah joe kennedy was a was very wealthy in the during the roaring 20s as you could probably imagine yeah andrew any idea when black monday was i think it was black monday that the crash that started the great depression 1923 willie any guesses uh um no it would have been 29 i think bingo yeah joe kennedy april very very like within like a couple months or sorry of of the crash right before

he sold his entire stock portfolio and completely avoided the Great Depression. Isn't that unbelievable? I think, I believe the Rockefellers did too. This is also pre-SEC. The SEC did not exist yet

and because of this... The SEC got formed in response to the people who got rich off of the Great Depression. Because they were like... Is that not insider trading? Rockefeller and the... Well, they can't prove that he because also like no it wasn't like he bet that it was going to happen or something and

like profited even more on that it was just like i know it's about to hit the fan yeah liquidated the entire thing is that unbelievable also this is i'm gonna butcher this a little bit but someone was explaining like how joe kennedy and his buddies got so rich was they also now would probably be illegal with the sc but they were doing something where they were like again i'm gonna completely butcher this but i think the simplest possible version is they like just kept the 10 of them just kept buying and selling the stock over and over again and somehow like manipulating it and just like it didn't really make any sense to me but it was like the way he made it in the first place was also super weird like it wasn't like i think we got to figure out a way to do that yeah

i think the answer is like calci i think it's probably probably we just got we have to just started betting on like elections and stuff yeah i mean we got more elections than a chinese porno this year because wait but doesn't that only work like a like election for them would be oh oh oh oh because they would say erection because it doesn't really make sense yeah i think it's backwards interesting i've always thought about you know how banks you have those bank accounts that will like make money yeah off of interest i think you let the bank borrow your money and as a thank you they'll like give you like a percent of interest or whatever right yeah that's just about a bank yeah that's right every every say well if you have like a checking account or

something yeah yeah yeah the reason i was laughing is on the last podcast someone commented i love when they uh explain complex financial situations with 100 accuracy sorry and so what i was thinking was because that percent is like not an exact number there's like a certain amount um what do you mean it's not an exact number so it's like it's a percentage so when you multiply that percentage it's not going to be like 42 dollars it's going to be like 42 dollars 98 cents 10 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 whatever you know there's like numbers after like fractions of a cent fractions i've never understood that either so but the bank just rounds that down so what if we create a system where like we collect all that money you know what i mean you and i yeah i don't know if we have the ability

why would the bank just give it to every bank transaction we like come up with some like hacking software where like every transaction we take the rounded amount the fraction of a penny and we put it in our bank account got it i'm down and then we have like a huge studio by the end of the year you know those videos where guys are like what do you like how'd you make your first million or like what do you do for a living when the guy's driving a nice car there was a guy who was like do you ever use do you ever use like a cash register and the guy was like yeah he was like i get like three pennies every time you do that like he like invented the like tap to he has some patent on like some technology that we use for like every transaction he's like i get like

a penny every time you do that i want that job um you guys got office spaced do you know what that's the premise of office space the movie oh really yeah is it true story i don't think so no oh they they take the the hack they hack it they they hack this i haven't watched in forever but i always thought that isn't the point of the prank to get us to believe that something happened that was just an idea that was also just kind of an idea i liked it i liked it thank you that's my bad uh wait can we get into our dress or what we're gonna say no yes no that was it i had one more thing say it preach king apparently for every dollar that you have in your bank out the bank can lend out eight dollars so they're lending out like way

more than they actually have and so like if we all went to take our money out there'd be a run on the bank we should do that we should all take our money out at the same time i think that's how like really bad crisis that's how the teach me something yeah oh the taco bell 50k did you see that like but not about it's a race they do it in like a bunch of different states now where it's a 50k race where you stop at nine taco bells on the way and you have to get one item at every taco bell and you have to get one crunch wrap supreme like one burrito yeah they're like a minimum non-negotiables right yeah and uh and you have to have fifty thousand dollars i think i might try it what you have to have fifty thousand yeah it costs fifty thousand dollars no i think i might try it

in november where is it there's one in southern california it started in colorado but like they have the map lined out or like can you just pick no you can pick how you get between this it's They give you the order of Taco Bells, but you can pick sort of, like, how you get there. Got it. But, yeah. How long is 50 kilometers? It's, like, 32 miles or 31 miles. Does it take you, like, all day?

You have 11 hours to do it is the maximum. Holy. I think I could do a Taco Bell 50K in... What's your TPS? Time per stop. Yeah, I mean... Or TPB, time per bell. I think, like, I'd do it in, like, five hours.

No, probably six hours. five and a half hours five six five and a half to six hours six hours it also sounds like a night because they're definitely not shutting like la is definitely not shutting down the roads for it you're just like yeah you have to you're just running stopping at lights and stuff um i love it all right should we do our drafts yeah let's get into it these are harry potter spells that don't exist stinkerinus uh it makes someone's butt reek that so bad you can smell from a mile away love it and is that is that mainly as wouldn't that be like make it harder for you to fight them stinkerinus no it's like to embarrass them got it yeah cannabis extractus you if

someone's like way too high you can like narcan them and they'll just be they'll if they smoked a little bit too much weed narcan but for weed yeah weed yeah i love that i mean it's uh you get it did you see that chris fleming you know that is a comedian maybe he's like the funniest guy of all time he's on caleb heron's podcast he's like you don't drink caleb here was like you don't drink he's like nah my doctor said if i kept drinking that i can only keep drinking if they invented a narcan for margaritas it was awesome uh i thought that for some reason that was going to be like the like that was going to be context for your next spell no no where's this going stink tippius it creates the feeling that your the tip of your penis was stung by a wasp

it is excruciating is it like it's kind of similar to like soap in the tip you've ever had that yes but it's like a thousand times worse oh my sting tippius voidus bowless and just any poop in their body comes out into their robe and they have to they're into the robe oh oh they're in harry potter yeah they're a wizard they can't they can't fight at all they just have to like be like all right i'm out i gotta go home tiniest ballsus it makes your balls teeny so just let me get this correct you went literally just in a you stayed in a three inch radius and you went anus penis balls how old you're 20 are you 25 barely uh this one i think i was just being like serious i thought this would be like or sorry uh serious is it oh yeah um this one i actually just thought would

be cool like blabberous and it makes it impossible for someone to not say what they're thinking out allowed like i could imagine that being fun like in the movies like wait isn't that a thing they have the like truth thing yeah but isn't that like not you're like not allowed to use that this is one you can use i guess you get oh shit i didn't think right isn't that like a but that's a potion i believe yeah this is like that i think you have to answer questions okay but this one just blabbers whatever you're thinking comes out gotta go it's like tourette's all right will you tee up racehorses these are racehorses that don't exist the hoof is in the pudding that's good uh saddle tail nice the state of maine that's good galloped potatoes

bridge foals riddle like bridge trolls riddle but what's the foal is like a baby horse got it uh okay you didn't like that one what about philly joel that's good i like that jockey bait uh grassy grassy foal yep uh derby fully loaded i did that one already really okay derby air ride wait what the kirby air ride you ever play the game oh uh pony hawk that's good thank you pony hawk i like a lot i also had uh pony hail full sprouts and arrested development full model most of mine were full yeah you're really i didn't even know that word yeah the state of maine i think is probably my favorite maybe the hoof is in the pudding because the hoof is in the pudding is a double one because they actually use oh like jello pudding that's good yeah i didn't think

about that oh yeah that was on accident that's really good all right we love you guys have a great rest of your monday have a great tuesday and we will see you bright and early on motherfucking the mets will be wednesday when you're listening to this the mets will already be three and now when you're listening to this willie and i will have already been on jimmy kimmel so Kinmore.