Will & Rusty's Playdate - willy's viral marathon

Episode Date: October 15, 2025

SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/@playdatepod?sub_confirmation=1  JOIN US IN SUPPORT OF BEST BUDDIES: https://www.bestbuddieschampion.org/maine/supporting/#willandrustysplaydate&donate/5363257/0 GUESTS AND INQUIRIES: [e-mail] MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/  SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: Download Cash App Today: [https://click.cash.app/ui6m/ba1zl21n] #CashAppPartner Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Shop SKIMS Mens at SKIMS.com Let them know we sent you! After you place your order, select "podcast" in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. Check DRINKLIGHTSTRIKE.COM to find it near you Playdate: https://www.instagram.com/playdate.pod https://www.tiktok.com/@playdatepod Willy: https://www.instagram.com/willdonnellon https://www.tiktok.com/@willydonnellon Rusty: https://www.instagram.com/featherstonerusty https://www.tiktok.com/@rustyfeatherstone RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg  SUBMIT YOUR BUSINESS PITCH HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdPHd7Ps9TaX-TOozyLhDpr9Y7pFNMP9PX7cHuLxap1R78GWg/viewform?usp=header SUBMIT YOUR AITA STORY HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdQElfqdQutn3dzl5HcZfey6YWhbVd-n6XE7FkpfosWZyYhyA/viewform?usp=sf_link 00:00 - intro 2:21 - willy’s marathon 16:23 - willy learns fire safety 23:36 - willy hears the viral dentist trip 32:30 - willy hears a plane story 35:18 - willy is in euphoria 41:52 - willy gets one question 52:26 - willy hears about a playmate at all 55:00 - willy hears about rusty’s sober october 1:01:52 - roadmap 1:02:57 - pitches 1:15:36 - aita 1:18:30 - this guy rocks 1:24:47 - teach me something  1:32:24 - bar specials that don’t exist 1:36:10 - text acronyms that don’t exist 1:40:20 - rsotd #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

is there any chance you could give me a little more volume in my headphones uh yeah how is this will you say something awesome yeah that's way oh dude dude dude dude dude fuck dude i felt like a rapper and i was like can i get a look give me a little more beat my headphones i'm about to i'm about to podcast that actually was no not very fun yeah this is normal are we going we are play date episode 149 and willie where the hell are you man well uh i am live from western springs illinois just outside of chicago right like my cousin ryan lives here with her husband zach and her three little boys roy philip and george what a what a preppy sounding family they're yeah they're like royalty they're all like so how do they feel about you podcasting

in their house roy and philip are at daycare so i think they're fine with it george is out there he's george is like two months old okay very cute he's like the biggest baby i've ever seen he's like 20 pounds i would assume he does not have an opinion on it no he doesn't uh know what's happening at all in general are the parents home which is pretty cool yeah my cousin my ryan zach went to work ryan's here um but she she supports my career actually that's fantastic what room in there she said she said hey go podcast i'm proud of you hey go put dinner on the table uh i am in the office they have an office which is actually kind of clutch she's on maternity leave so she's not working so oh nice so she so she doesn't need the office am i right yeah new mom new moms will

get that one new that's like kind of for like the new moms out there uh willie tell us about a lot of new moms marathon uh yeah this is like the scheduling of this this is like weeks after i actually did it but probably right when does this come out andrew when does this come out like october 15th i think like in a week oh yeah it's like a week from today this episode is brought to you by cash app cash app bring me my monday cash app so it was two days ago though as of this recording and it was awesome it was great it was uh it was hard it was not like right off the rip i just didn't i just like didn't totally feel it like i didn't feel as good as i'd felt in some of my long runs leading up to it um for whatever reason i think my

heart rate was just high because i was like nervous and then that's just like trick i don't know i also my right earbud cut out like a mile in oh i was like oh and i was trying and then as i was trying to fix it i accidentally restarted my strava i was like fuck so then i had to just start it at three miles so then i just had to add three miles every time i was trying to figure out like my pace oh anyway but i get it i get not against all odds that makes it sound like i had like any like real it was it was there were things up top that were frustrating and i just like didn't totally feel it in my legs and i was proud of how i just kind of hung in there and was it one of those get away from me you know how like some songs like the beat is in one ear and then like

the vocals are in the other where yeah like a stereo yeah no honestly i just i honestly think there's there's an argument to be made though that like i would have like you want to hear the crowd and stuff and there was really awesome like fan support like pretty much the entire race there are people there cheering so like crazy it was kind of it was awesome and yeah so i mean like initially i was like i just want to be under four hours then as i was getting faster my training rounds i was like i might be able to make a play to like get close to 330 and then i ended up running 350 so i would say it was like the lower end of what i would still consider a success but a success nonetheless we were we were watching you on the uh on the tracking thing and you were

tracking at 330 for a minute there and then you had like the beginning yeah you had like one mile that kind of put you at like 340 and then you just stayed there like i think that's i think that's like a very good time for your first marathon ever a hundred percent i'm just being a wiener i just like i got i got too excited the last couple weeks i was like i i said i i knew i was gonna do this i will say you looked you looked killer that i didn't know you had you had like a pro running you kind of look like sam yeah you know i put a picture of sam right here in the edit he's so handsome um you read into your biggest fan too um flan flan's mom yeah that video that video have you seen that yeah oh i said it too yeah yeah well dude i have to say

shout out to her she was amazing but also the amount of playmates that were out there or detards or whatever they were uh just actually the coolest thing of all time like every time i saw you know had someone like cheer like you just like you instinctively just kind of speed up and so my parents were there they were at mile 15 and 23 which is awesome and then there were like five or six different groups of of detards uh which was just the coolest like i don't know just very cool people made signs and stuff and i get to the finish line oh also tim walls gave me a fist bump i didn't i kind of caught me off guard i was like mile 24 like right right after right before i saw flan's mom did you initiate the fist bump or was he like willie d yeah it's

He's like, I'm a huge detour. They made a rice peel-off, too. No, he was like... They made a rice peel-off, too. Vote for me in 2028. He was like, the speaker died. That's actually... Oh, my God.

You picked the wrong state. I know. I just realized that when I said that. Do you know what he's talking about, Andrew? The Pelosi thing? but willie had willie had like a a goaded can i say goaded willie what willie had a goaded tiktok back in the day where it was like yeah the speaker died yeah and he was like pelosi yeah yeah but but the speaker of the minnesota house of representatives just got murdered

oh i thought it was just they broke into their house no i'm pretty sure she got assassinated so okay well i didn't mean that i'm sorry um damn let's just move on we just lost we just lost tim walls as a play as a playboy no i didn't mean that i was just trying to reference my thing whatever anyway i was uh what what an unfortunate here wait uh andrew before the clip play willie's play willie's uh tiktok that says the speaker died to give context that he wasn't just yeah talking about that oh no the speaker died pelosi i literally named my bluetooth speaker nancy pelosi anyway the um oh yeah so i was just running by and i was just looking over and i was like oh wait how do i i was like how do i know that guy i was like oh it's him i was like what

up brother i probably didn't say that but i gave him a fist bump and he's like go you got this man go go go he was actually it was like kind of cute i will say he turned i think the campaign turned him into sort of a corn ball but i kind of i actually think he's he seems like kind of a nice guy he ran the 10k that morning according to mrs brown 10 miler actually which is even more impressive yeah but uh yeah so i saw timmy and then oh i get to the end and uh i go to the finish line to finish running once i've done all the right my all the miles that i had to do to finish running it so i get to the finish line and i decide to go across it to sort of culminate my um the running that i had done over the course of the previous three hours okay you you know how

these things work you get it you've you've seen them i won't i won't bore you with the details at home if you're confused just google just google it for some reason like after one marathon you like you have a new outlook on it you think it not only was like an impressive feat but you think it's hard to understand you're like yeah a lot of people think it's the physical it's more like the strategy of it a lot of people can't even find the finish line it's yeah so once i found the finish line there are guys i'm like i made a b line there are guys in like 70s running gear they're like we've been running this for 30 years do you have any idea where the fucking uh well that'd be funny it's like and now we tom tom michaels who's been running the

twin cities marathon for 30 years and you expect to be like an old guy runs it every year and he's just like he's all like tattered he's like on his hands and knees his time is like set 50 50 years and three hours he made really good time that day you just can't find it why is it so confusing i get to the finish line and um i get to the finish line and there's two playmates waiting for me there uh col colin uh colin colin colin i think it was colin there was a guy seemed pretty confident in it let's go with colin i think it was gavin those are different ah it was gavin wait gavin parsons yeah gavin why do i know do have i talked to him before i know that name

uh i mean he dms a lot gp legend legend of the podcast gavin and lily uh were waiting at the finish line with i with oh also there were guys like mile 20 that had a sign that just said i wish this was pants that's all i thought that was great those guys were so hype but uh and then at the finish line gavin and lily were there wait can i guess her last shirt is it lily russell uh let me why do i know that name too sorry i don't know why i don't continue i don't know i honestly last name i don't know if that's her last name isn't that like alex grades girlfriend's last name that might be where i that might be where i know that oh my god speaking of speaking of a grade's girlfriend that might be why that is because

flan alex posted something on instagram and flan wanted to see his girlfriend and she was like really deep in alex's instagram and then like clicked on her thing and i she is notorious for like hitting the wrong button so i was worried she was gonna like follow lily that's how i know that lily that's uh you were close though what is it's rutson lily rutzer continue willie i don't know why i derailed your story with a grade talk that's all right you could derail me for a grade at any time, but... Did you know that

they didn't know each other? That's what... Oh, you're ruining my epic story. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I still don't know it. I still don't know it.

I'll cut it. It's not ruined for me. Andrew fucked me. I'll cut it. I'll cut it. And now that baby just heard the word fuck. So now it's a twofer.

Is he in the office with you? His desk is right next to mine. Now he's somewhere else. I don't know. No, okay, what? Oh, so Gavin and Lily are at the finish line,

and I'm talking to them. I come to find out they don't know each other. One of them, I think Lily commented on the pod like two episodes ago and was like, hey, I'm going to be there with a sign. And then he replied to her comment and was like, I'm going to go too. And then they connected, and then they went together.

Whoa. So I was blown away. so i think it's a match made in heaven even as just friends i don't know guys anything about their lives podcast you know you think you're just you're listening you're tuning in to hear three friends talk about their lives next thing you know you're gonna be friends with another playmate that may have some strings attached and it leads to a more physical relationship continually i hope they get married uh so no pressure though i don't want to put pressure I also don't even know if they're single or heterosexual or I don't know anything about

them, but I'm shipping them is all I'm saying. What if for like less pressure instead of us wishing they got married, we just like hope they become friends with benefits? Yeah, yeah. That's a good point. Well, regardless of what they do with their lives, it was very fun that they came out and it was just cool that they seemed to at least at the very least they were getting along and they were having fun and it was really cool to meet them.

and just crazy to think that i it was just it was it made my heart was very full it was very cool so thank you to everyone who came out you and i were talking about this in michigan and not to get sappy or anything but i think like oh no thinking thinking about how cool it is that there are people that like listen to this and there's like a community within there will never it like blows my mind every time there's anyone that would care enough to like they like carved out part of their sunday to come watch you i think that's phenomenal totally and that one guy carved out the part of that box to send us right behind you what's like oh yeah at the top there oh oh yeah yeah literally he whittled a he whittled part of his sunday he carved a little box for both of us uh

sorry hanging around these babies so much i'm code switching yeah what else did I say what else did I say so what did you do after the what did you do

after the marathon after the marathon we went to the they have like a beer garden at the finish and so me and my mom and my

dad went and we just kind of laid there had a few beers it was nice then it started raining were they free

after you were on the marathon you know what's bullshit you get one free beer there's part of your bib is like you rip it off and it's like a drink ticket so you get one free beer if you run if i ever organized a marathon there would be drink tickets lining the whole bib you get 36 free drinks also they had tall boys for the people who bought them and then the free one you got was just like a 12 ounce but my dad went and bought us some anyway because they didn't they had better selection at the paid version but yeah we had some

beers and then we took a train into minneapolis i had chicken pot pie and uh then i took a nap and then we got up and got pizza and played cards and then i went to bed someday yeah yeah it was like pretty like the the aftermath i was just like uh it's like it's like weird for it to just like be over you're like now what but then uh then yesterday i flew to chicago and i got here and uh picked the kids up from school and then we went we got dinner we went to the fire the local fire house was having a like a fire safe it's like fire safety week i guess they were having a fire bonfire all of their equipment caught on fire so like they had to call on the civilians to come help yeah no they're having it's like i guess it's like fire safety week or something

and so they uh they had a bunch of like i don't know it was just like all the little kids were there it was cute they all got like little fire helmets and things and there were like things for them to like little activities for them to do fires but it it felt no literally like the one thing was like a mat like it was a full blown fire hose and they and they were like my cousins were like oh willie or will you want to take roy over to do the fire hose thing i was like sure so i take roy my four-year-old baby cousin over and the guy's like all right give it a shot and like roy's holding me into the fire hose and he just like peers down the barrel and i'm like and uh and the guy's like don't point it at your face and i'm like why is this like this feels

dangerous and uh and then we go over and they have like a thing they made like a model house out of like plywood and there's like a fire on the inside and they're like light they're like starting a fire and then they're like opening and closing doors and windows to kind of like show you like how the how they fight fires but with like a model house and at one point the guy is like showing it it's like and the thing is with this and he like kind of opens the door and like peers in and just a ball of fire like shoots out onto his face he goes oh gotta watch out gotta watch for that so that fire can just kind of you got that's the thing about fires i'm like this guy was just lit his face on fire

he turns he's like he's like the thing about fires is they are much harder harder to control in a tiny house you would much rather have your whole house catch on fire than a tiny one it was like he turns around he's like his eyebrows and like hair is like this this is i did this on purpose i did this to show you how dangerous tiny house fires could be like an old timey like tnt guy you know like the hair like you you walk gavin back to um is that where your cousin's name is gavin no that's the guy the playmate that was at the finish line my cousin's name roy roy he like rock walk roy back to his parents and he so clearly got like hit by the fire hose there's like a huge chunk missing yeah yeah all right well he learned why i feel like i'm

i feel like i interacted with firemen on a pretty regular basis as like a child like i feel like they're always coming to school or you're like going to them or your mom's like dating one of them or yeah all those like normal things you have to do your mom dropped you off at one yeah really young it's they're not it was a big deal it was uh yeah they're big i was thinking about that as like firemen and astronauts are like two jobs where it's like the level of like people the level of interest just takes a steep drop off when you turn like 10 yeah like everyone wants to be it yeah uh my friend lizzie from rollins um her like smoke detector or something wouldn't go off so she like went down to the fire department and they came up and fixed it and she like posted it

on tiktok and it was kind of this like it almost felt like rom-commy because she like went down she lives next to the firehouse and then these like sexy firemen came up and like handled whatever she needed and then she like posted a follow-up video where she like went brought him like cookies and i was like this this that should be a rom-com that doesn't exist like the uh oh yeah on fire or something there's one or it's like it's called um it's called um it's called um wait no um like something about like um wait the jaws of love i was gonna say like scaring the hose or something i love loving the hose or something andrew what would yours uh there's a hallmark one that i

watch every year for christmas let me see let me see what it's called wait let me guess let me guess what it is let me guess what it is let me guess what it is okay okay uh there is a woman she lives in new york city she oh oh you're guessing the plot yeah she goes she goes to her hometown her boyfriend is mean to her in back in the city or he like is too busy also with work she uh needs something she needs something from the fire department so the fire department comes over she like there's like this hunk and then he has kind of like a whimsical outlook on life and he's kind of blue collar and cool and like has time for her and then she never goes back to the city and she stays with the fireman it's pretty close okay honestly uh she's yeah she's like a career

woman and uh is like kind of going through which is a queer woman yeah she's a queer woman she's a career woman okay um queer willie willie willie queer women can be career women too yeah queer women can have careers oh t-shirt i boardwalk t-shirt being queer is my career a single mom of two rents out a ground floor room to inch to an injured single firefighter oh and she like brings him she like comes over okay here's that here's my prediction she like uh is like constantly bringing him like baked goods and stuff and then one day uh she needs to like fix his bandage and it's like really close to his crotch and then they go nuts on each other that's my prediction wait wait wait no i was thinking of the nine

lives of christmas are you gonna be wearing marathon merch all the time now yeah bitch i'm better than you no i this is the only thing i got you didn't get a hat you gotta get a hat no i don't like that i actually was like i like wanted to get more merch but are you are you gonna put a 26.2 sticker on the back of your in scott's car no i have a life i don't know i probably would no i'm not doing that shit bro i'm gonna i gotta do i'm gonna do i'm just gonna i'm gonna do another one i'm gonna do boston yeah i would like to come for that one just because that one's that one i had fun last year oh can i tell you about my viral dentist trip

yeah vdt hit me okay viral dentist trip yesterday first oh yeah first dentist trip as an adult willie look what's missing oh you got rid of my three and we committed a just a smidge of insurance fraud it was awesome i so i go in the woman i sat i stood at the counter which is i feel like a normal thing to do like you check in and then no one came for like five minutes she comes out she looked at me like i had four heads and was like what i was like i have a 10 o'clock appointment she was like yeah we'll be right with you sit down i was like okay no paperwork to fill out so i'm like oh i like this they're kind of like it's like an off the books dentist place and uh so i sit down she does my uh x-ray she says i have a goaded mouth she said i may be

grinding one tooth in my sleep but other than that goaded mouth i said can you take the three off she said yeah and then she goes and we'll bill it at we're just gonna bill it as a filling so the insurance company has to pay for it instead of you i was like w but like that now she said it so casually like this is like they're committing insurance fraud left and right yeah what is this place called it's uh it's you know what'd you say willie the good the good thing is i mean if the insurance company ever tried to catch you it's not like there's any evidence like a paper trail or anything out in the public realm yeah well they don't know they couldn't figure out who i am um oh speaking of who you actually are apparently like there's a kid that is like a he's like the

bad boy of roy's class and his name is jack kelly and there's two and there's two jacks so they all call him jack and he's like the bart harley he's like bart harley i growing up no one called me jack it was like jack kelly like that's your that was like your whole name there were people that it's wait i thought i thought your name was rusty featherstone no that was like a thing my buddy made up and then it i didn't think it was gonna get big enough where i would ever have to use it all the time should i reveal my real name too crungus mcmartle all right fine my real name is crungus mcmartle is that what you want is that what you guys want to fucking hear is that what you want you want to hear that i'm a fucking orphan i'm a registered

nobody wanted me that my name my real name is crungus mcmartin is that make you fucking happy is that make you fucking happy to know i'm crungus mcmartin just watched because i know i have like a clown ass name your hinge date just watched goodwill hunting for the first time and really wants to be an orphan is that what you want to hear you want to hear that my real name is crungus mcmartin hey i gotta see about a girl is that what you think robin williams sounds like hey hey it's what he sounds like robin williams i gotta go see a better girl oh hey let's go play jumanji

hey what's what is where it is where's the flubber okay sorry dentist viral dentist trip i've been to the dentist before i know how damn right you i know how these cleanings are supposed to feel in my mouth these people there were three there were three people working on my mouth at the same time so one had a they put a hook hose you know that little thing yeah then there was a second woman with a second hose going haywire picking up all the like loose stuff and then there was one woman with a drill going like it was a 45 minute assault on my mouth and it's it's it sucked it sounds like my fucking dream a 45 minute assault on my mouth um oh but this was the craziest part we so she had this fish tank

in the in the um in the like operating or whatever the office that i was in and there were there were like all sorts of different fish in there and they clearly like we was you could tell they were like um what's the word you could tell they were like aware you know you could tell they were like aware of each other they looked like they were having like a meeting it was really weird and then one got sucked up into the like intake thing and the day i'm looking at it and like it's so clear that's happening it starts making this like crazy noise and the the uh the dentist like didn't do anything and i was like that's weird and then get this willie a bird a bird flies like sees the fish and swoops down and flew directly into the window

dentist didn't didn't move a muscle during all this wait wait wait i feel like i zone a bird flew in and ate a fish out of the fish tank into the window it couldn't get through the it like saw the fish in the thing and then swooped down and like nailed the glass damn isn't that insane it wait is it are you finding nemo i did go everything else was true except for the fish part okay i was like what what that's what and then they had to go find a guy called nemo that sound like something that would be great here's something funny my dad was telling some story about his childhood and like his mom's silver got stolen and they think it was the neighbor who stole it and guess what the neighbor's name was michael prosciutto

his mom was ethel prosciutto yeah it's yeah he sounds like he's the head of some silver stealing crime ring uh yeah michael prosciutto like i'll be in and i'll be in and what's next what's next tommy salami when if my victims ever catch me i slice them real thin like like my namesake shawty gave me but i wasn't really into it uh can we tell make my dick harden like i'm gonna bring la a chip guys this episode is brought to you by cash app your security deserves to be a priority and Cash App treats it that way with security lock. Cash App requires a successful face ID or biometric authentication to access your account. It's like your money is protected by your own personal bodyguard. Even if you accidentally leave your phone unlocked or

someone gains access to it without your knowledge. Plus, if you're about to send money to someone and Cash App notices something looks a bit off or you might be falling for a scam, it will send you a warning before the money is sent to make you take a second and confirm that everything looks right turn on security lock in your cash app settings now to keep your account and your information safer than ever and pay attention to scam warnings if sending money to someone new learn more at cash.app security i don't ever want to get scammed personally i would never want to get scammed ever being for any scammer no no matter what and thanks to cash app i feel safe and for a limited time new cash app customers can earn ten dollars if they use code friday 10 in

their profile at sign up and send five dollars to a friend within 14 days terms apply cash app is a financial services platform not a bank banking services provided by cash apps bank partners visit cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures i recently got my roommate ty some skims and he sent me a text that it feels like his private parts are in a cloud he i will i will say i have kind of gotten used to it because i forgot about them wait what do you mean by private parts i kind of forgot about how i'm just kidding how good it feels to to put on a pair of skims they are the best underwear for men on the mart and women on the market uh my favorite part about skims i didn't even know they were making them for men until you told me and i was like oh

this is so clutch because i've seen girls wear them and they look comfy but they're for dudes too and they're awesome okay you've seen women wearing skims on like ads like i saw an ad for my favorite part about skims is wherever i put the wherever i put the end of my my brief it stays there all day no riding up yep nothing like that they're locked no rusty rearrange rusty rearrange the cotton five inch boxer brief for my favorite three inch if you're feeling uh a little dicey and then you know what i think i'm gonna go full brief here in a second uh shop skims men's at skims.com let them know we sent you after you place your order select podcasts in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows let's get back into

the episode andrew you want to hear you want to hear a viral plane story who wants to play a plane story yes really waiting hour you were there you were in front of i think i've already told you this story though willie and i landed in ann arbor or in detroit michigan okay the bell goes off for everyone to get up and there was like this row where it was a mom and her two kids and that she had clearly had a hard time like wrangling her son this whole time he wasn't being like disruptive at all but he like had a lot of energy and so we land bell goes off he slides out from under her or from behind her and like gets out and is it kind of like walking around now not a big deal and i'm sitting in one of those seats where there's like no row in front of me it's just like

the wall you know of like the bathroom this kid comes and stands with his back to me six inches away from me like there's no no like awareness of of like where he's standing like you know what it's fine he's like you know five or six years old then he either shit his pants or ripped the stinkiest fart in the world like just right in my face i looked around at everyone else being like how is no one smelling that because i also wanted to make it clear it wasn't me yeah i was looking at like my seat mate and then like the people on the other side of the row being like oh pretty stinky right like with my eyes i didn't say that with my words of course and no one really it didn't resonate with anyone and then he just went back to his seat and i was like how often is he

dick did he do that on purpose it's not a normal thing to go stand with your butt facing someone he just he he crop he crop dusted me and then he then he went back to his thing yeah do you think he thought that maybe if he farted enough he'd puke and that's why i didn't think about that i didn't oh you think he was farting me yeah or what if it was like you know how like sometimes when someone throws up and then other people see it they throw up he was like oh yeah he was like yeah he was trying to get you to if i'm the only kid if i'm the only kid on the plane that shit himself that's embarrassing but if i get someone else then there's a sense of camaraderie next thing you know we've got a group chat yeah yeah

exactly next thing you know you're all shitting everywhere next thing you know the pilots going excuse me ladies and gentlemen i just crapped my pants it was like yeah one of us guba gaba one of us we accept you one of us yeah like the fart more like the fart attendant or something for the flight for the flight attendant right are you excited to go to new york together oh they get cut out um yeah okay that doesn't sound very good what's this hbo thing you're doing willie and i are doing uh wait i don't think we should talk about it wait it doesn't come out till after because all all i'm saying all i'm saying is it doesn't come out till january so i don't know i think we like we might have signed we signed something so i feel like we

should do for the other for the other people all i'm saying all i'm saying you guys should get max because you may you may or may not see willie and i no we're not gonna be in a show wouldn't that be fun wait is this a is this an existing show or a we're not allowed to say we're not we're it's not that whatever you're thinking because we're being mysterious it's not like anything you guys are going to be in the next season of euphoria thing what you guys are going to be in the next season euphoria i'm playing the heroine and i have one you're playing the heroine i have one hand stuff scene with glenn powell or no who's in uh with jacob lordy i have one hand stuff scene okay let's just say it jacob lordy fingers will in the new season of euphoria jacob lordy's in that i think

that was like his first thing yeah well i thought it was like just sydney sweeney no it's like a lot of famous people wait booth isn't that too no no no kissing booth was was jacob oh yes thing i liked kissing booth as a kid that was like my guilty pleasure i'd go and i'd go yeah i'd go in the jack shack and i'd you know the jack shack yeah i don't hear about you jacking your dude that's not what that is it was a it was a place no it was a it was a gathering place for young minds who just wanted to young mimes young mimes we all got in there young mimes no it was a gathering place for young mimes young minds uh and creatives to get together it was the birthplace of the boston three party a lot of other great artists came out of there it was it was kind of

it was like our generation's viper room it was the it was the viper room of southern maine it was a place that you know what's the viper it was johnny depp's club that like all these celebrities could go and like oh yeah party up because there were no cell phones back then and no cameras were out in there and they could just go in there and party they were a little nuts off that was kind of what we had going in the jack shack it was studio what that's kind of like the studio yeah cameras yes it was like phones the jack shack was basically a place for you know creative souls who you know didn't necessarily fit in in cape elizabeth who could come and and you know practice their art they could visionaries they could come with business ideas they could come to explore each

other's bodies it was a lot of stuff a lot of great stuff happened in the jack shack yeah and you were doing what there oh oh i was just watching kissing booth because of the namesake i was while they were working on their art and you know policy whatever if they wanted to be a politician where i would be up in the loft jacking off looking down at them and that's why they called the jack shack but the rest of them were yeah who up jack in the jack you want to hear a good jack jack story yeah i do uh when i was in high school i was dating this girl and we were hanging out in the jack shack and my friend brendan would like sleep in the loft and so he was up there while we the three of us were just like watching a movie and she was acting like super weird and i was like

oh this is kind of strange because she was like a very normal nice sweet person still is very normal nice sweet person and we um she i walked her to her car and then she broke up with me in her car oh i was like oh that's why and then i walked back to the jack shack and brendan asked me what happened and i told her told him that she broke up with me and then he didn't know what to he's not a very emotional guy like feeling out other people's emotions and he didn't know what to do so he just played neon moon by keith whitley and we sat there and listened to it did it help it helped a lot really yeah that same girl one of my favorite are we our driveway had these two big rocks at the end that kind of acted as like a gate or whatever and she one time it's like a

30 yard driveway like it's you should just turn around you should never it's too long to like back up she just floored it in reverse one time and drove directly into backed up into one of the rocks oh oh yeah they're gonna say then she broke up with me like a week later i don't know if those things had anything to do with each other and then you jacked it she was like i'm gonna hit his rocks and then ditch him yeah maybe she was like she knew like a week in advance so she was like i'm just gonna go out like guns blazing wasn't that kind of a trend back then i i had a girl one time who just wanted to hit my rocks once more before she dumped me, so I get it.

What were you saying, Andrew? When? Like, right before Willie said that. Or right in the middle of it. You were in the middle of saying it, and then Willie said it. When I was saying how that one girl one time just wanted to hit my rocks one more time

before she dumped me. I was like, wasn't that a trend back then? You would hit someone's rocks and then ditch them. Wasn't that one of those 2012 viral trends? we're doing the viral cinnamon speaking of hitting the rock speaking of hitting the rock i didn't see the smashing machine no i don't understand how that's the rock that's what they called me in high school they called you the rock

no the smashing machine they called you dwayne johnson the smash they called me dwayne you walk into a you walk into a party and everyone everyone starts quivering they're like the smashing machine's here he's gonna take all of our girlfriends they i walk into the party they give me a 15 minute standing ovation until i cried it was like i can they give me they turn the music off and they give me a standing ovation until i and then i chew whoever claps the longest gets to get clapped by willie oh who got clapped the longest wait i have a question um no i just wanted to pivot and then i couldn't think of anything

you can ask me this is a one time pass you can ask me anything in the world and I will be completely honest with you I will not try and joke around I will not lie to you you can ask me anything I will be honest guess what I had

for dessert last night two nights ago guess what I had for dessert no it's something you love carrot cake no you like carrot cake yeah it's my favorite what do i love what do i like notoriously love for dessert a lot of things um do you want me to go rapid fire

it was an argentinian restaurant something i love for dessert that is argentinian i think it's spanish in origin i mean i love tres leches cake uh flat flan flan nice how was it i feel like i misused my one free pass i'll give you another one you want to waste it again oh because your girlfriend's name is flan yeah yes thank you you get one more this is your last last oh i just opened a drawer and i found these ice breakers okay all right my last is my one question you can't lie when you were a kid did you ever get those like sour altoids no what they're all they're all mint flavored you're lying you're lying

he's lying now i had what you said what you said i got one where you didn't mind alcoids are like all like famously either mint or cinnamon i don't think there's a sour one no look up andrew can you look shit up even though i'm in chicago can you look shit up when a guy's in chicago can you look up and look shit up if a guy's in chicago these are so good oh yeah those things we used to get those at the f&m bookstore whoa franklin and marshall is what that stands for you're probably wondering retro academic yeah i saw like a tiktok thing it was like get these retro sours from the tiktok shop and i was like how do they know that i liked these were the i thought these were just like

a thing me and my brother knew about no this was like everyone like once a month on twitter people be like anybody remember these and it's this picture of the sour out really once a month yeah we should go get those mango showers from the bookstore at franklin also people are going to be mad about the sound of you sucking on that by the way because i can hear it now oh can you hear it i'm gonna i'll just swallow that sorry i got a new i'm getting into a new hobby guess guess what it is it's right up my alley it's like it like no it like makes sense as the next you know i have these like fix these like three month fixations this one yeah this one makes sense as the next one it's a battle pass andrew any guesses wait i think it cut out is it

uh wait did you say roblox yet it's something you do i i could it's something you do like in the quad is it frisbee isn't that nfl game on roblox hacky sack i think i'm gonna start a sack pack so if you guys if you guys want to join my if you guys want to join my sack pack jack's sack pack jack sack pack wow wow jack i have who up jack and they said these kids there are these three kids that post videos on the internet of them hacky sacking and it just looks like such a such a fun way to hang out with your buddies it's just hacking the sack have you ever seen a video of a guy and like it's like a dash cam and he gets in a car wreck all the time wait andrew pull up pull up the one of the guy pull up like near miss car crash guy singing

oh i love that and he goes right back to singing yeah that guy's epic don't blame it on the boogie now pull up uh now pull up guy guy singing car crash now look up naked guy hammered how far can you jump okay the 2026 chevrolet tracks is the stylish suv for those on the move and with the standard chevy safety assist package you have the backup to handle every turn with confidence the 2026 tracks start your build at chevrolet.ca

oh my god hey that's some chicago shit and now i like watch his face when he realizes he's skidding And now my life Dude, he probably survived because he was singing like a worship song. Oh my God. How do you know him?

This is my fraternity. Oh my God. That one got me. Did he not get T-boned? I thought he got T-boned. What did you say? Did he not get T-boned? I thought he got...

he he was it's like raining and he he's driving and then he like he hydroplanes realizes he's not gonna be able to correct it screams he landed upright at least yeah dude it rained here last night the wi-fi is coming out again there was a girl i went to high school with that flipped her car like right outside of the high school and like anyone else would just take the day off apparently just went home fixed her makeup and then came back while her car was like upside down oh my god respect top five brook twop one time control respect moments that restored my faith in you top five i had a buddy i was thinking about this recently a kid i went to high school with excellent three-point shooter he got a fake id and he put the name vladimir jerkov on it

i think you told that like an episode ago wait be really be really still andrew if it it's frozen i think it's fresno i think we're in fresno oh no i i wasn't actually fresno i was just doing a bit hey andrew can you cut that out i swear to god if that goes in there i'm gonna fucking freak i will come for your job what was your fake id name i think it was like mclovin has anyone made that joke before okay no you're not gonna get me i i i've seen neighbors nice try willie what did you ever have a fake id oh yeah you had one like in college it was just my real name i said i changed my middle name my real name my real address but you make it you were jack bush john bush kelly john bush kelly jbk dude

i miss bush when is bush coming back painter now no i'm talking about when is reggie bush coming i want his heisman back when is reggie bush coming back wait 49 we never did a 49 uh i think i got one i think i got one ready oh oh the suspense is building who's andrew zoom in on that zoom in on that fat ghost i just did for the playmates and if i 49 would be leonardo dicaprio age oh oh uh kate winslet age oh no she's 50 she's right there never mind um uh mark walberg age okay willie and i met mark walberg yeah how did you guys meet him we were on the top of uh yeah i thought it was we were at the bellagio i thought it was his brother i thought it was donnie walbert well donnie was also there

we had yeah they were like donnie walbert's gonna be there no one told me mark walberg was also gonna be there so i was like holy shit donnie walberg looks exactly like mark walberg so we took a picture with him i thought i was taking a picture with mark walberg's brother oh and then afterwards i found out it was actually mark walberg he was a nice guy yeah it's kind of funny jimmy johnson age no way alex cora age what wait time out that's not what i meant i was thinking jimmy johnson no i meant the nascar driver oh uh alex cora age jimmy johns wait do jimmy johns age wait before you delete the whole thing what bro what did i do you had half of it typed out you

could just delete it ah alex cora age jason mike's is 69 it's right there it's right there andrew that's how old he the 16 that's how old the restaurant is google alex yeah alex alex Courage. Bang. Bang. Oh. I will say I think the Red Sox are like, well, but to

have like a outed known cheater as your manager must be kind of a bummer. It's just an asterisk on everything they accomplish. Okay. Let's go to the next topic. Andrew, scroll to the next topic.

I ran into a playmate at ACL this weekend. I saw that. What was up with the Minions costume? Apparently, there were all sorts of Minions there. Yeah, it was just me and my friends. Wait, did you hear about the Minions? Caleb Saad said one of his buddies said there were a bunch of Minions and Bananas there. Yeah.

Was that you and your squad? Yeah, my squad was the Minions. Another squad was the Bananas. Did you do a thing where you're like, Bananas? We tried to link up with them, but we were never at the same sets, unfortunately. You probably got all bricked up because that's what your girlfriend called you. I did, yeah. Every time I see a banana, I get pretty hot and heavy.

But yeah, we just decided for one of the days to all dress like minions. And it was pretty viral. I have yet to see any TikToks about it. But if you do see any, please send them to me. If you're out there. Kind of the only reason we did it, just because we kind of just wanted attention. and we don't get enough in our daily lives stuff like that and so we had to milk it at a music festival was grew there um anytime my friend saw a bald guy they would just point at him and say

grew and i was like i don't know if that's the thing to do i think grew's like jam band was playing that's like why all the minions were there oh motley grew acl had a bunch of uh like balloons that looked like the moon and we kept trying to we kept trying to see if we could like take it and the workers said no unfortunately and who was your favorite uh alameda she was great she's a really small artist but if you get the chance to check out her music check it out she's really good she's did you know her going into it yeah yeah yeah she uh she's part of kendrick's label and the only girls on it are sisa dochi and her but she has a song coming out with dochi this week um and it's very good she previewed it at the set and um well she was amazing she was my

favorite set by far but there were a lot of great sets i saw the strokes i saw the killers whoa yeah strokes wow i saw the strokes i think the singer was pretty drunk the entire nice he just kept rambling about gbt and politics he was i think that's kind of his thing he just rambled is that julian yeah yeah yeah okay then i'm thinking of a different i'm thinking of the kooks i like the strokes too but i like oh i like the kooks yeah uh is anyone gonna ask me about how sober october is going the silver october that you're breaking over like a week well so here's the thing we had willie and i can we tell the playmates the secret oh yeah sure all right top secret wait but does it what yeah i guess it's fine no no we cannot if you don't i liked

it what who are they gonna tell well like the bosses listen to this okay okay if you're a boss listening to this i swear to god i will i will quit if you listen to the next 10 minutes you have to skip skip for it it's not bad it's not bad you're gonna love it it's just a secret for you if you are one of my bosses skip this or i will skip this skip this or i'm going to the news i'm going to the news with all the things that i have dirt on all of you looking oh yeah we're um we so the plan the here's the plan we're going to orlando under the guise of we're gonna go film a video at universal but we are just going to drink around the world again what wait i'm so excited isn't that the video that you're doing no universe no the video is gonna be like a different

park wait so i'm confused he doesn't know what a park is you're gonna have to explain it like he's five there are okay you're wait what is orlando you and your pet your parents wake you up in the middle of the night they say it's time to get on the flight to orlando we're going to an amusement orlando bloom orlando bloom thank you we're going to a park has sorts of uh sort of rides and food and uh drink a park has a hundred rides i just looked it up so a park it's like a hundred rides okay okay okay so we're gonna go do that and we already had that plan before i decided to do sober october so one day in october i'm gonna drink and then i'm gonna attack a day on in november okay so i'm not drinking so how are the first seven six days

the first six days have been great i will say the no weed aspect of it has just made nights kind of boring but like i'm realizing now that um my drinking the problem is not that i have the urge to drink it's just once i start drinking i have no issue not drinking i just have a hard time stopping it once i start drinking so that's what that's what i'm learning about myself here's the thing i thought i was gonna lose like a hundred pounds lost zero pounds yeah granted it's been six to seven days but yeah i don't think it's it's too early i know but i was just hoping i was hoping like there was kind of a part of me that's like i'll just be shredded by like week one and then i can just go back to drinking but but that has not been the case are you not

gonna drink for halloween then no dude it's sober october oh yeah they were dude there's like little kids on the marathon route doing like six seven two seven and i would like do it to them and then i was like can't feed into that no you gotta do it you gotta do it for the little kids thankfully these kids are so little they don't know about sounds like you did anything but run on this marathon there was a reddit post yesterday that that hey andrew can i talk to you for a second yeah in like a private room bro did anything but running on the marathon how do you do a breakout there was a reddit post uh yesterday that was trying to figure out how how uh tall i was and the first comment was uh five seven and then someone said that they met us and that that is not

true but it made me sad do you want to talk about where is this on the reddit yeah do you want to clear it up yeah no i'm six four i'm six four and anything you might hear from people that have met me is not true i'm six four should we road map it up yeah he's 411 yes dude have you seen um the six seven meme i'll tell a little offline about it and your block willie on riverside All right, this episode is brought to you by Lightstrike. They have a brand new flavor that came out in September. Willie's holding it right now. It's called Blue Rush.

What is that? Is that a Lightstrike? I've been absorbed by the Lightstrike. Okay, what were you saying? Guys, Lightstrike. It's perfect for tailgating and day drinking. It's got a resealable top. I'm serious.

It's got a real sealable top. It's perfect for day drinking. It's non-carbonated. 10% coconut water, 5% alcohol by volume. Lightstripe flips the script on what package alcohol is supposed to be. Combining coconut water, sea salt, and 5% ABV for a shockingly smooth, fizz-free experience. Lightstripe is built for those who go hard but never tap out. It's the only drink that makes refreshing actually mean something.

Check out DrinkLightstripe.com. You can find it near you. We're going to be partying with Light Strike all fall, autumn, fall long, and we hope you join us. So go to DrinkLightStrike.com and find some. Couldn't have said it better myself. Did I get close enough? Yeah, totally.

Should I get closer? Yeah. Cool. Let's get back into the episode. Hey, Willie. Willie, look. I know you're goofy. I was jealous.

This is actually insane, but this morning I saw some video where Liam had one or something and i was like oh i want one so bad right now yeah are you having i go by draws legitimately that sounds unbelievably good to me right now i can taste exactly what it tastes like in my mouth busting willie it was kind of weird that you brought your mic with you to the bathroom and made me listen to you we heard all that we oh i didn't think you were gonna be the we heard all those confess i want to see if they're like the windscreen i thought would feel nice in my asshole so i just wanted to feel it yeah and you were like screaming and stuff yeah i was yelling at the kids i was hitting the kids well you did the you did the thing where you confess to a

murder while they're filming a documentary about the person yeah you did it well you did it of course you did it who else was there it was me and i'm i'm screaming i'm streaming i'm white i'm it was me and peter the peter the fuzz and we were we stabbed that man in his clavicle what'd you say clavicle clavicle guys we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches pitch followed by our pitches then we're gonna do am i the asshole then we're gonna do this guy rocks followed by teach me something all right i have a i have a wait can i do a character real quick this is you know the character same movie doing our pod this is a base baseball player giving the roadmap for the game all right first we're

to do our pitches followed by your pitches first we're going to do our pitches followed by your batting then we're going to do your pitches followed by our batting then we're going to do your fielding followed by our hitting followed by our fan interaction followed by banana ball banana then we're going to do these kids don't like but i'm going to go find out if they like the savannah banana later and i'll i'll not i'll get them i'll get it out of their system you're very anti-banana ball yeah all right then we're gonna do bar more bar specials that don't exist and then text acronyms that don't exist and we'll wrap up with rusty's song of the day andrew throw us throw us a fucking curveball hear me out a pocket translator that translate what your

girlfriend says to what she actually means so come on women yeah women ain't telling it straight women ain't telling it straight sorry can you hear me like okay first of all i texted her with lol with one eye not two because two would have been fake and then she sent me a tiktok that was low key shade but like whatever because their nails look busted anyway translation i'm mad at my friend yes okay okay okay okay i like this willie lol with one eye you're getting semantics one l you're getting hung up on the details willie i'm gonna be your girlfriend hello i'm gonna be your girlfriend i'm gonna say something you're gonna tell me what it actually means all right okay jenna and i were supposed to have dinner tonight and i texted her and i said do you want to go do

you still want to go to dinner i have a 615 res and she said sure whatever you'd like what does that mean what well i thought you wanted me to act like it was my girlfriend i'm your girl i'm your girlfriend i just told you that what do you think that means yeah so i was treating you like you're my girlfriend i didn't listen to it i didn't listen to a word that shit come on come on i didn't i didn't listen to work i mean i'm a guy i'm thinking about steak and football right now um i'm thinking about a football shaped steak right now um no that means jenna's a bitch jenna yeah jenna's a bitch that means jenna's a bitch and I hate her.

I don't even want to go to dinner with her anymore. I, yeah. I don't even like dinner anymore. Sorry, you're like frozen. Do you want to build a snowman? Ride our bikes around the hall. What is the worst part? What is the worst part about sitting on an airplane?

hurts um you don't get to choose who you sit next to your balls are always like either stuck to your leg or in like a crazy position it's like i can't fix this without it looking insane here here is my pitch your jeans or whatever pants you're wearing now have like little draw strings at the end and the other end is tied to each one of your testicles so when you are when you are sitting on the plane your balls are in an uncomfortable position you just lean forward and you pull the strings and it pulls them out to their fullest extent and then they just like plop down neatly on your lap i like that a lot it's like a tassel for like a ball tassel yes thank you it's like it's like for or it's like for shades like what you have like maybe it's

like one of those like pulley systems or it's like i right i just exactly i just know right i was on yes i know exactly yes right yeah i just know i was sitting next to this poor old lady and oh god how poor was she and i the second i sat down wedgie balls stuck to my leg balls in an uncomfortable position cock up in a weird angle um and i tried to deal with it for the first 20 minutes i was like you don't know and i just started putting my hand in my pants and rearranging it and i was like oh my god i'm a madman i feel like i i was like honestly i wouldn't be mad if if she like hit the flight attendant button was like i want another seat yeah that's the flight attendant comes out she just decks her you want a coke bang all right pitch me willie

i mean it was like this andrew it was like oh that looks like it's in your pocket yeah you just did that yeah yeah she probably wouldn't even know that's not bad okay what if i did something like this like right next to an old lady or something dude when i sat down next to this lady and her husband oh my god i forgot about this i don't even know if i can or i'll tell the first part and then you guys can gauge if this is because it's not me saying it there's an old guy saying it so we sat down it's one of those ones where it's the wall uh with two tvs and then like his tv comes out of his chair you know where you like push that button it like pops out on the little arm thing and i was watching the texas game and she sat down and she goes do you think that's

your tv and i was like yeah it's like the like directly in front of me i was like yeah and she was like well on our way home from china uh we they had this same situation and we couldn't figure out like which whose tv was whose and then i showed him that his came out of the armrest and then they did the thing where now we've broken the talking bear so they want to talk so i took my headphones off to hear what they were saying and he was like we just were on we were on an 11 hour flight from china and the the tv didn't work and so i called the flight attendant over and then i'm not going to do the accent that he did but he did like a full chinese accent and he was like and then andrew you can do it and then she was like tv no work uh like beverage cart not cold

or he's sort of like like doing a full-blown chinese accent i was like all right and put my headphones back on and and uh got out of there is it okay can we rule out that he was chinese and he had been doing an american accent to sort of make you comfortable to start the conversation andrew pull up the white kid that grew up in japan that has the the japanese oh yeah yeah maybe he was just hoping that you were racist maybe he thought that you looked racist yeah do i was that giving off race maybe he was yeah was that giving off maybe he was a stoolie and he was trying to catch you to bring us down it was gas it was did i tell you when i saw him in the hamptons i don't even know who that is he's like he like was one of the first guys that bar

stool and i think he was like a behind the camera guy originally but he uh presumably made a lot of money when they sold and i was in montauk at a beach club eating lunch and he was uh under a cabana with like a lot of uh a lot of uh big booty women and i was like oh gaz it's a tuesday get back to the office i was like guys you yeah that's you crazy for that one i didn't come on english so tyler how long have you lived in singapore singapore nine years already nine years and then before that two year in china then some more got five year in the states all right okay did people treat you any differently he grew up actually happened does that actually happen a lot of people when they grow up there

that accent wow i mean that makes sense right like he's also like the whitest guy too he's got like blonde hair blue eyes yeah i can't do that okay willie pitch me i've i'm scared i've done this but i don't if i did it was very long ago and i thought of it and originally again um the remote control trash can okay rainy day if it's a trash day and it's a rainy day or it's like a cold day in the winter like in maine sometimes it's really cold and it's like you gotta take the garbage out you just rc drive it from the garage or backyard or whatever to the front that's awesome for the that is really i think you have done that but i it's so good that i like it it's where it bears repeating yeah bear bears bears bears bears bears bears bears bears

bears bears that's like those golf bags that are remote controlled yes i'm always so jealous when the old people have those fantastic yeah i mean i i almost was gonna say ai and then i was like i think people are sick of like ai this and that for pitch but like an ai one that just knows to go out on trash day would even be sicker all right andrew should we hear an am i the ass one of those coke one of the wait one of the cocos but you get points for if you kick it wait what those little food delivery robots i always want to kick them but i swear it'll get in trouble i want one that you get points if you kick it i saw one that said fallen off the sidewalk and it was on its side and the message on the front just said help me oh it was like it was the first time i felt kind of bad

because i hate those things but this one i actually felt bad for because it's also like no that that shit pissed me off that like shorty will treat those like she treats a dog and she's like oh look it's it's like it's felix or whatever its name is tyler you know like that thing is a bad that thing is a clinker tyler falbo sent me yeah it's a clinker skin tyler falbo sent me one that was named rusty um really you next time shawty says oh you should set one on fire oh because your name is rusty huh oh because your name is rusty i just really can't hear you just do one one thing okay i was just saying that because your name is rusty yes thank yes okay willie sorry that might have been that might have gone right over your head falbo sent yeah wait

i'm still not getting falbo sent me a coco and the coco was named rusty he sent you the coco or he sent you a picture of the coco he sent me a picture of the coco so can you just fucking get your story straight you realize how confusing this is for me do you realize i'm seriously do you realize how hard this is for me when i'm trying and you're just giving me nothing willie and i were in um fort worth a couple weeks ago and we passed the what was the thing that we did the noise to the sheesh we passed like the botanical garden is in town and for some reason like something came the botanical gardens is in town i guess so and something came over me you know that's

a standing garden like no i think it was like no no it was like a traveling he said no it wasn't not a travel it's not a day i think he's just like our hotel's right by the botanical gardens or something and we just both started going and she did not like it i think he just he doesn't like what he doesn't understand and so he like didn't he like didn't get what was happening that's why i took my high school prom photos did you guys see my ex there maybe she's still waiting for you no she's picking her corsage i forgot my that same girl that broke up with me uh in her car i forgot her corsage because oh to prom because her mom i must have not been listening her it's sound the way her mom

framed it to me was she was gonna get a the corsage at the same place she was gonna get my boutonniere but i think she meant you should get it at the same place so that they match and i just showed up without one and they were like oh you're a moron but someone else had an i forgot i went to prom twice flex um and i forgot it both years because like you leave it in the fridge i'm like you know like when you're like leaving the house you're like keys wallet you don't think to check the fridge keys wallet boutonniere boutonniere that's my that's my don rickies wallet it's my cold cuts my don rickles and cold cuts keys wallet boutonniere or no not booting not don rickles who's the who was the host of uh of uh family feud back in the

day richard dryer peter griffin peter griffin peter griffin i had an old sketch where it was like we're like all right you guys ready to head out and i'm like kind of checking in the couch cushions and he's like well are you like do you want help are you missing something it's like oh let's just go it's just it's like what is it's just my phone wallet keys and it was i listed like everything i own i was like let's just go let's just go i'll be fine guy who's homeless speaking of willie d archives my favorite one is when you go yeah i left a bunch of uh paper and cotton balls outside has anyone seen them and you pan outside and it's like 10 feet of snow and he goes oh no q-tips has anyone seen my q-tips and cotton balls

my name's pete what up pete um my buddy and i go up to a cottage for the weekend with a bunch of people we aren't very close with so big time away game we show up at 9 30 p.m totally empty handed bad guy move anyway one thing leads to another and we black out and sleep on the couch together wake up in the morning there's poop everywhere shit on the table on the couch all over my buddy and smeared into the carpet turns out all over your buddy turns out my buddy slept walked and sat on the table thinking it was a toilet and shit everywhere anyways the place fucking reeks skid marks all over the couch and floor we do a quick clean of it but didn't tell the girl whose cottage we were at about the magnitude of poop all over the couch and carpet

my buddy doesn't want to message her saying hey i should all over your living room in my sleep can i offer to pay for cleaning but i think he should am i the asshole to message her without him how did they not saying we'll cover the damage how did they not immediately notice that i was like if it still needs cleaning then they are is this real i mean he said we could call him uh you if you it sounds like you got away with it so if you got away with it yeah i think if if she doesn't know then don't rat yourself out if they're aware that someone pooped though and it's like a witch hunt maybe i think the adult thing to do would be to own up but i don't think any any it's certainly not on you you didn't shit i would be trying to distance myself from my buddy as much as possible

yeah i would just be like yeah yeah you it is a good guy move that you're like should we tell them but like you weren't the one that yeah did that like no offense rusty but if you should if you were the shitter i would be like you're on your own i don't really know him dude same i don't really know that i actually don't really know him we barely hang out it's like an online archive of 250 times we've hung out i or 150 i think yeah i think you do what's best for yourself here and be like dude if you want to tell him that's on what i don't understand is like it was rubbed into the carpet like it almost seems like your buddy did this on purpose and maybe you if your your buddy sounds like maybe he's not the best guy would be my i think he i think i honestly

am having a hard time believing this one but i want to believe yeah i mean all the same way i feel about god all time scaries waking up covered in your own poop and you've smeared it into the carpet and couch was it on him was he was his buddy's poop on him it sounded no i think it was on himself it sounded like his buddy only pooped on himself the carpet the couch and the table like what how much pooping was he doing was it like a huge monster turd what um all right should we do this guy rocks yeah yeah all right andrew pause this immediately and i mean immediately life isn't totally easy bro what is she on the car phone you know you just keep trying and trying

wait what is going on where does that phone go one more time yeah i am concerned life isn't totally easy believe me but you know you just keep trying and trying that doggy's struggling there's also definitely no one on the other side of that no those are all she's like just like on that other dog he's very calm she's always on the phone and the other one's like losing its marbles yeah where is the phone coming from it's not it's not coming from anywhere it's just a it's just a it's just a prop it's just a joke phone um all right willie show me a guy that rocks yeah let's do it let's hop right into it guys andrew if you head over to slack i sent it there we actually have a special special celebrity this guy rocks

oh yes lauren i was asked to share and has this guy rocks oh okay if you guys are new to the podcast lauren is used to work here i think right i don't remember okay this is my so this my this guy rocks and before you play it it's the guy right above the mouse right now if you want to hover on him that guy okay so keep your eye on that guy he's at a rock and roll show and he rocks the only one who notices it is the is the blue shirt girl wait pause no no look at this girl look at this girl on the right right this girl right here oh oh yeah you're right all right but other than that the band doesn't notice the crowd doesn't notice kind of a master class it's all over the set list all right stop it it's so loud in my

yeah okay that is probably the worst place to be like if you're on the verge of throwing up from drinking that that place and that song about to be playing has got to be the worst the worst possible combination oh he threw up on the guy on the guitarist like pedal board too bassist or whatever so he's gonna definitely throw up on that girl's hand too a little bit look where her hand is i think it's his hand no uh maybe yeah hey might have like skied it over anyway that's a guy this guy pukes we had a kid should we see lauren's uh all right lauren's this guy rocks we had a kid at our prom after party dude this exact thing he was like watching some kids play mario kart and he like had his hand over his mouth and you could just see puke like

dripping down his like arm onto the carpet and this other kid came over and he goes hey man you got it like you got to go to the bathroom and the guy just shook his head no and he's like no no no like i'm not asking you like you got to go right now like this is all over the floor the carpet and um oh my god i think he's like a lawyer now nice yeah keeping the he's really justice system safe you sue i'm i'm i would sue to be suing lawyer yeah keep going let's do lawrence lay it on me thick i mean picking up speed rolling smooth look at this he goes for the nine three full quarters of a turn yes lands it clean the crowd is losing is that real yeah yeah i actually forgot that happened do you think that i feel like can you pause it it's so

loud i can't hear myself think uh the it's one of those things where it's like he had such an illustrious career that you forget little moments like this but now that we have the time to like look back and sort of break down all the greatest moments like that's pretty unbelievable do you think that if a guy could do that in a wheelchair they'd let him into the x games he just did it do you know he cheated on his wife how that's what that was my question he going x games mode i saw some guy defending him the other day defending him for cheating on his wife the other day where they were like well think about it dude like if he is spending all day every day thinking about the universe and how vast it is and we're just a fucking grain of sand

and all of this then like yeah like i probably wouldn't be able to think about how bad it is to cheat on my wife either and all the other guys were like yeah totally yeah that's that's so funny your excuse being like sorry i was just thinking about how small we are in the context babe babe babe i was thinking about babe babe babe no babe please stay that's my impression of steven horny horny horny horny horny wait what was that it's like a little button wasn't there wasn't that so from something something wasn't that from something i really like spending time with you i do too horny horny horny horny get hookers hookers hookers get me hookers and then like slips get me horny hookers get me hookers but make sure they're the horniest ones

i'm just thinking about every indie guy being like well babe the universe is so vast i can't be tied down to one person i need to like have sex with other people but you can only have sex with me babe the universe for boys oh they should make a universe for boys i feel like girls have kind of oh yeah yeah we could go to jupiter and get more stupider boys all right what's our next segment uh we were doing teach me something have you guys ever heard of gustav the crocodile um yes i don't i haven't but maybe andrew has okay he was a crocodile in barundi i learned about this on the animal planet in a hotel room in michigan so okay he was like 20 he probably may still be alive he may not be he was like 20 plus feet long 20 20 feet plus long

nile crocodile which if you don't know or like you don't want you don't want to fucking see these guys they're they're man eaters right not gustav he would sometimes eat people but he has like 300 kills and he didn't even eat like most of them he they think he was just like hunting for sport and they think it was like revenge for something else and so they try and catch him actually my notes say 200 200 or 300 people in parentheses likely exaggerated so he's killed like 150 plus people probably but um they tried to catch him oh he's given in shot twice he has three bullet scars uh they tried to catch him one time and with live bait and then they just found the cage like mangled and submerged yeah so he's like the badass croc of the year badass

croc of the year but they haven't seen him since like he's still out they haven't seen him in like 10 years but they haven't seen the carcass either he's so famous there that like someone would take yeah but it could like sink right yeah but it wasn't it's like i think it was in like a lake so it was like not super a river so I don't know they would have found it

probably probably promptly alright teach me here's something funny that happened yesterday before I do my teaching something that reminded me I was in the

when we first picked up Roy and Phillip from school they call him Flip too which I think is a sick nickname oh why do they call him that we picked up Roy

I don't know I think Zach was saying like they want a nickname but like Phil feels weird for a guy that young so they just

started saying flip i like flip flip what are you why are you making that like your buddy phil my best friend in the world's name phil you don't think that's a good yeah but like when he was like when he was three years old yeah i think that's adorable it's like a like it's like naming your dog a human yeah was he still anyway at three what was he still sketchy phil at three no he didn't get sketchy phil until high school because he wouldn't he wouldn't come out and do like any teen stuff and so it was like because he was so like good kid it was like it was like a dig at him yeah yeah anyway you can't be able to flip if you can't do like a flip though good point sorry continually he can do it i flipped him i also was wrestling war and he farted right in

my face and i was like that was an all-time move yeah shake him i've been shaking all those babies um what did roy do no we picked up roy and flip from school and it was ashley's birthday at school so roy had like a little goody bag of stuff she had brought in i guess and one of them was like a little beanie baby and we were looking at in the car i was like what kind of animal is that and he was like i don't know he's like four he's like talking but you know he's new to new to the game uh and i was like what kind of animal is that and he's like i don't know like maybe he's like it might be just only in western springs i was like oh okay and then he's like no actually i don't think it is i was like it could just be like a new one like it just dropped like a new

animal just came out and i don't know just kind of like you kind of assume that they're not really like internalizing any of this and then we get home and he's like showing his mom and he's like yeah i got this he's like it's a new animal it just dropped and i just thought it was funny like The dumb way that I talk about things is, like, corrupting his mind. Five new curse words. Yeah. To him, Western Springs is, like, the size of North America. So he's, like, you know what I mean?

Like, he doesn't know that there's anything outside of there. Might only be. I think it's actually only in Western Springs. And then, oh, speaking of animals in Western Springs, we're walking back from the firehouse last night. Coyote. Just walks right by us. It was, like, five feet from us.

Zach and I were both like, okay, I guess we're going to have to fight a coyote. Wait, you were walking and you saw it? Yeah, we were walking on the sidewalk, and it walked right by us on the sidewalk. It was terrifying. That's crazy. Did you say anything to it? Was it in a pack? No.

Maybe I was looking for one. Yeah, you didn't ask him what was in your sack pack. I didn't want it to eat Flip. Can you imagine how bad you would feel if you came home with just the hand that you were holding of his, and you're like, Coyote ate him. No, I wouldn't have let that happen. Zach and I would have kicked the thing's ass, but I didn't want to have to do it.

Teach me something, brother. Oh, teach you something. Do you know who Jim Trestle is, anyone? It sounds familiar. So he was like, I grew up being an Ohio State football fan. He was like the coach growing up for a long time. Then he got implicated in that stupid scandal where they were selling autographs or whatever

before that was legal. and anyway i was just reading about old ohio state football going down memory lane and i clicked on his wikipedia page and it was like jim tressel is the uh lieutenant governor of ohio and i was like uh wrong guy and then i was like wait no he actually is jim tressel the longtime ohio state football coach is now the lieutenant governor of ohio what's the difference between lieutenant governor like it's like vice president oh that's pretty cool vice governor yeah he was apparently appointed lieutenant governor by governor mike dewine earlier this year anyway i admit that is a very niche thing that probably few people care about but i was just like imagine

like finding out trying to look up like i wonder what that old football coach is up to and find out he's the lieutenant governor i wonder what i wonder what the guy from no vacancy is doing and then you find out he's the governor he's a senator he's the senator of texas yeah that'd be like finding out like urban meyer is the mayor of gainesville yeah they would probably elect him you know my mom went on a date with urban meyer andrew actually yeah i probably told that og podcast days but like like a couple months ago or no the quick no she's married very happily married for 35 years now she wasn't the one that was like getting groped in that video

will's mom was the one grinding on urban yeah yeah no but in college her friend and urban's friend were going we're dating and they went on a double date and she asked him if he had a brother named rural and then there was not a second date oh yeah oh oh i like that that's good that's like that's like that's where you get it from that's like og danelle and wordplay yeah He had a little brother named Suburban Meyer. Suburban Meyer. All right. Should we do bar specials that don't exist or text acronyms?

Yeah. Let's do it. These are bar specials that don't exist. Red light, green light night. So there's an MC, and when he says green light, you can drink your drink. But you have to stop before he says red light. And if you get caught drinking after he says red light, you're out of the bar. I love it.

did i just come up with that did i do that last did you it sounds familiar i don't know maybe i'm crazy maybe we can check the tapes you did something for you did red light green light for like a different draft oh okay okay okay uh yeah okay one side of the bar is getting served na beer and the other side is getting served regular beer and whichever side can uh come to the conclusion or whichever side can figure out who's drinking real beer first gets their tab paid for by the other side uh i love like yeah if you're the na guys you figured out it's like okay we got our tab paid for for na beer they're like that night so once it's done like then oh then they can then you party got it got it uh okay speed drinking it's like speed dating

there's a bartender different bartender at every different table and you every five minutes you go to a new one and he makes you a drink and you try the cocktail and you give your notes and you talk about it and then after five minutes like time's up and you move to the next table and you could

be with your crew or your date or whatever and you go to the next table and the next guy makes you a new cocktail that you all try and then a boop five minutes boom next table new cocktail until you try a bunch of different cocktails I like that a lot why does the bartender have to be a guy are there no good girl bartenders yeah um okay guess the drink it's that's right yes good good point andrew i appreciate you highlighting that all right yep guess the

drink it's free uh the bartender tries to stump you by making obscure cocktails and then if you can guess what it is it's free love that uh how about bartender night everyone comes in you could you could sign up to be a patron or just a bartender and if you're a bartender uh you go behind the bar someone orders a drink you have to make one for you and one for the other person so the bartender has to go drink for drink with every patron until they get too drunk and they tap out and then another bartender subs in and it goes like that all night i like that suds and buds night it's free champagne as long as you're holding your buddy's hand i like that a lot it's like champagne and shackles kind of uh dinner and a drink night you get uh

free drinks all night but only if you order and pay for a hot dog dude a guy just broke the guinness world record for longest fart guess how long it was hour 40 40 seconds an hour wow nuts i don't know drink it faster than the bartender it's free so we hire a bartender like ronnie deutsch or whatever who can like finish a drink in like the blink of an eye and at the drunker everyone gets the more convinced they are they're going to be able to drink it faster and everyone's going to rack up a huge tab all right is that your last one oh no i had one more uh guess the song it's free so the second a song starts playing if you're the first person to shout it out you get a free round i like that a lot i actually realized i had one more too smelly

night inverse relationship between smell and price the smellier it gets in there the cheaper the drinks get how long can you last to get the cheapest prices and they pump and stink obviously okay these are text acronyms that don't exist t-a-d-l-o-l texting and driving laughing out loud otg on the go it's like otg but what's up they're like oh yeah otg what do you need i like it yeah j-r-o-s-i-f-a just ran over something it felt alive h-a-r means have a wreck so you'd be like har mexican food question mark yeah or it's like oh har mexican food this so it's like a way you can like ask like have a wreck for this or i have a wreck for this i love it um i am yb i miss your body yeah like instead of like what are you all like what what are you

doing wyd is so overplayed i want to i want to get a late night text in i i am yb i am yb yeah that's good uh iss i was so sleepy g-r-t-w-o-t-h-i-i-t-b-s-l-o-l ghost riding the whip on the highway i'm in the backseat lol that's awesome i would send that one a bunch b-a-h-b bob board is hell bro yeah what are you doing bored as hell bro bob love it uh wha hb want to have 100 beers instead of like texting someone being like yo should we go get beers tonight kind of boring yours question marks a little overplayed wha hb when i have 100 beers i like that how about had had have a day yeah okay this one's for group chats it's when you get added to a group chat there's like a million

contacts you don't have you just go w-a-t-n who are these numbers and then everyone can send their like send their what everyone can send their uh contacts wadden i like that a lot yeah what all right uh andrew there was a package what's your song chair did you yeah i'm gonna grab it it sounded super loud it was like metal and like stuff clanging around in there so i think that's for kids mail bag one at a time mail bag making it rhyme whoop whoop andrew do you have anything sharp that i can cut this with whoa willy what oh my god wait i need that okay we can split them wait i need a spatula actually i need for my grill and it's got hockey hockey stick grill tongs hockey stick spatula whoa who said these hockey stick whatever this guy does this is for

the grill as well oh yeah it's all sick uh this you don't have a grill do you oh those are only for grilling no you can use them for anything what that's clearly for grilling this is from bozeman montana who sent it bill twigs bill twigs beat billy twigs willie you can have that's so you can have all three of these but you have to you have to get me you have to get me something in advance you're sick what you have to get me something you don't have a grill but i would have used the spatula or the tongs okay if you you can have the spatula i'll make you a burger oh that would be that would be a first oh god all right oh yeah wait yeah wait willie i should give you these so that

so that i can come over and not get a burger oh yeah these would probably be good to make everyone else burgers and uh have me sitting there like an asshole oh yeah these are fun these would probably these would probably taste great for everyone but me how do i delete his how do i delete all right um bill twiggs thank you so much these are fantastic all right rusty's song of the day i'm gonna go made in japan by uh what's his name by buck owens it is awesome it's been giving me very very very very good vibes on my drives around Los Angeles and on planes and stuff like that so I hope you enjoy it guys we love you so much

have a great rest of your have a great rest of your week have a great weekend and we will see you bright and early on Wednesday later skater Monday later skater love you Thank you for watching!