Will & Rusty's Playdate - wizarding my girlfriend

Episode Date: April 20, 2026

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all right cool glasses morning i am i just want to apologize i'm a little later than usual i was i drove to work today right and i was here at like 804 outside but still late correct correct i was already late but i was not that used to your hey this is your first time living too yeah and you're getting used to the car thing i will the the street cleaning around here yeah is like they make it to like fuck with you a little where it's like one block it's like monday on one side and tuesday on the other and then you go to the next box and it like switches like dna it's like friday fridays that end yeah fridays that are an odd number and they put the signs in like new places yeah and uh anyway i parked in manhattan beach so

i got there at 804 last night yeah i've just i've just gotten here walking i just got my spot are you not gonna do the parking pass well no because i 99 of the time i'm biking yeah or sometimes i'll ride with dylan but i think you can you can expense it though yeah maybe i should just do as like a precaution because but today i'm not because i'm going to billy's to rehearse the live show and then i'm going to dodger stadium to watch the mets nice so you changed your mind well i didn't go last night is it also at seven yeah last night i that's been so bad lately like our offense looks like a team of single a players and we had our worst pitcher on the mound our team looks like a group of aaa players they look like a guy in aaa it are all of our players look like

they're currently like they're in aaa i think they might need to go to aaa just for like the mental reset they have to go to aaa and pretend they're alcoholics just to like as a punishment or something right anyway they uh i was like i'm so you think alcoholics just pretend you think that a is just a bunch of people pretending yeah yeah okay um but the anyway so i did something kind of unethical last night which was i was like i'm not going to this fucking game because i know the mets are gonna get shelled i'm positive positive of it we suck we're gonna lose this game they're gonna embarrass us so i'm not gonna waste my time and i was so confident that i double down and bet on the Dodgers four zero Dodgers win so I don't know if I don't know

what the ethical uh I was just like I know the Mets are gonna lose this game and I was right I don't know if it's unethical I think it goes against a lot of your personal beliefs I don't know I mean it's like I know this I thought that was a tall boy Coors Light for a second I was like Oh, my God. We're back. This guy's going haywire this morning. Have you ever done that, bet against the Mets? Not really, no.

It feels like a slippery. I mean, just kind of based off your general vibe this morning and hearing that, I'm a little worried. No, it was good. I won $45. What were the odds of that? They were minus $150 or something. Oh, that's still pretty good.

Yeah. I would have thought that that was, like, a sure thing that the Dodgers were going to win. Yeah, and that's not that bad. Yeah, I mean, with David Peterson on the mound who couldn't pitch to a horse if it was in the stable. I don't know. I feel like half my, like, off-the-fly sayings have horse in them. There's a lot of sayings with horses in them. Couldn't hit a horse if its hoof was in front of him.

This guy couldn't pitch to a horse. But it was funny. he also i was like i'll be really embarrassed if like the mets win this game and on two fronts because i didn't go and i'll lose my money but first inning bases loaded no outs like for the dodgers i was like yep but then he ended up striking out three guys in her anyway it doesn't matter who are you going with tonight the mets who are you going with oh i was like who you were who you're pulling for we're not going with the mets oh like who are you going with yeah yeah Since I bet on the Dodgers, who are you going with today?

Who are you going to? I'm going to go alone. I've decided. I decided I don't really want to go with anyone. You're going to bring your mitt? If I went alone, I could without shame. Totally bring your mitt. I don't like that you feel shame about it even when you're with people.

I think it's sweet. Yeah, you're right. I didn't bring my mitt to work, so I probably won't. But maybe I'll take one from the sports guys. Yeah. Solo Mets game with a mitt. Could be the move. Kind of straddles the line of depressing.

Are you going to bet on the game? Yeah, I'll bet on the Mets. Really? We got McLean on the bump tonight. Why don't you take your winnings from last night and put it on that so that... That's what I'm going to be. Worst case scenario. Exactly.

We're really into baseball ethics today. Yeah. The thing is, we're into methics. Methics. Methics are the rules. Methics are like Francisco Alvarez. I was going to say like the rules you... in the dude are there you know how when you're smoking weed you go in a circle like to your left

do you think meth people do that as well or it's kind of just however i feel like it's like whoever speaks up and it's or everyone's already probably clamoring so it's probably just like yeah i mean being in the who's in your dream whoever's awake who's in your dream meth rotation dream meth rotation oh that's a good one actually because all right i'm thinking it's like who do you you're gonna hear this person yap right right i think if it's like adderall i think there's a chance you might have to also fight that person like i don't i don't know i so a weak person a weak interesting person so i think it's like hemingway was he weak he was like a we fought i think jack karawack i think he fought in like war um no probably like uh manny pacquiao

malala all right dream meth rotate malala malala uh kira knightley yeah um and peter dinklage well because you also have to take into account or take into consideration that you've never done it before so you're gonna want to be around people that are a calming presence i think or it's probably not like wheat or mushrooms where you are gonna have a good experience depending i'm picturing it's like adderall yeah which is like i'm i want to like chat and make plans and yeah organize that is a bit making plans is a big adderall move for some reason

yeah i wonder if meth like meth people like texting people they love and like making lunch plans for the next day i would i'm i think it's a i think your appetite's pretty suppressed so i don't know if they're making lunch plans but they might make more meth plans plans yeah they're just texting people like hey you want it you want to do meth tomorrow they could be sexing things like that that's actually a good thing i have never done it and i don't think i ever will never do Do you think you could find meth today if you needed to? Oh, my God. I could find meth in 20 minutes.

Where would you go? Would you go to your house? I'd go to the boardwalk. Yeah. And just be like, I got a crisp hot dog. I've been offered it before. Really? Yeah.

By homeless guys? Yeah. For sale or they wanted you to be in their rotation? Maybe I'm overstating. I don't know if I've been like, hey, man, want some meth? But I could have gotten it. They're like, do you want to party? There was one time, I think I told you, I accidentally ordered.

I was hammered, and I ordered way too many Popeye's sandwiches. And so I went down to the boardwalk and was giving them out. And one lady tried to suck my dick, and the other guys were all smoking meth. And they were stoked. They definitely would have. Yeah. Oh, my God. It is interesting that you could probably get a blowjob with nothing but a Popeye's sandwich.

Oh, yeah. I had the offer right in front of me. I had to turn it down. It was the hardest thing I've ever fucking done. Did you toil with that? the strongest i've ever been was she was she pretty she was um a a looked like someone who maybe did a lot of meth okay so i wasn't exactly chomping at the bit she would have been chomping at the bit by her right teeth set up teeth she had no teeth like half which half middle

middle where it's still there middle every other one it was like uh hungry hungry hippos bingo yeah okay i can get behind that yeah she gave me that hungry hungry hippo last night lord above lord above what if it was just oh my good lord dude my dentist i told you i had a dentist one the other day yeah she went fucking haywire on my mouth and now my this might be unrelated but there's a huge like bump on my cheek right here you know when you like bite your lip it's like that but i don't remember biting it so i think she might have like nicked it on the way by with like a scalpel or what did you have any cavities no she said i'm like up for a mouth of the year dude both times i've gone there she's like you have a goaded mouth

in her own words but like she she literally is like she can't believe it that's kind of sick i used to get cavities all the time i'm eating like more sweets than ever i was gonna say i the only reason i say that is because i feel like pretty regularly like oh i poked mace last night i got i mean i cream maxed last night so i'm shocked i didn't yeah i'm shocked i don't i mean i eat i eat more sweets than anyone you know yeah and i'm not i mean i brush a normal amount too it's not like i'm i'm not on really floss what kind of ice cream did you get last night so here's the thing it was a bullpen game we had i had six six pints of ice cream all with very little left in them so i was kind of mixing it six pints of ice cream oh oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we have

a lot of different flavors and so i started with a little salted malted cookie dough was that a ben jerry's that is uh salt and straw and then i polished it off with a little milk and cookies from ben and jerry's nice it was unbelievable i took an edible for the first time for pleasure not for for work in a while and uh i came out of the gates hot was not snacking and then i got in bed and was like oh my god a bunch of ice cream sounds really good right now yeah so i had a little salt the salted malted cookie dough is one of those ice creams where you know when you're eating ice cream and you have to tell everyone how good like you're like i can't believe how good this is yeah it's one of those i was telling everyone who a lot of ice cream is like that for

you yeah yeah ice cream is fantastic do you like soft serve right andrew i was gonna say that i i went to the dentist last week and she was asking what i did for work and sometimes i don't like telling people and so i just make something up and so i was like oh i work like a and r at a record label and i kid you not she started like singing during my appointment like there was like they were playing music like ordinary and she would like sing along with it and i was like oh no that is horrible i'm not getting you out of the hood did you sign her i told her we could chat later wait why do you lie about i feel like that would just stress me out because people are like people are like what do you do and i'm like oh it's a podcast and they're like what's the

podcast called and then they're like i'm gonna listen to it and then it stresses me out do you guys get that way sometimes yeah yeah i relate yeah well we were like what episode should i listen to and i'm like i don't know and they're like what is it about and i'm like i don't know yeah exactly i went to the doctor and she was like what do you do and i was like oh i do this podcast and she's like oh what's it called i was like played aid and i was like yeah you know i still kind of like cringe a little bit when i like tell people in person and she goes why because the name and i go no because like i'm a white guy that does a podcast but i was like but let's go back to the name thing why do you think why do you think it's because of the name yeah like do you think

we should change the name i'm diagnosing her with being a c word well be sweet to her doctor i was gonna say i was gonna say doctor wait why are you ashamed of being a white guy with a podcast because i feel like there's this cliche they're like oh white guys with podcasts you wish you were a black woman if you were a black woman with a podcast would you still be embarrassed feel like i would have more to offer probably shout it from the rooftops um i when i was at the dentist her she was she was working on the left side of my mouth and so her tummy was really close to my ear that's the creative side i'm left mouth it's like where you eat like new food and uh her tummy grumbled really loud and i i laughed that's funny hungry dentist did you know

that you left it was it was more of an internal an internal chuckle yeah hungry dentist was really fun like just the fact that dentists get hungry too yeah and then they're staring at the teeth all day it just makes me hungrier because she was right at it was it was like 11 30 it's like i know you're i know you're hungry ass is getting ready for lunch lunch that's funny oh my god taking me out of the ordinary would you sign me yeah we can we can chat i'll give you wait did they ever ask you like what record labels uh no thankfully i would have probably said like universal yeah because it's right by or used to be about my apartment i just would be so worried that they would be like my son is

a dj and then i'd have to deal with that and then the son would be a dj and the son would be a fucking dj oh man oh my god all right dj son or dj booth daughter or dj dj son or dj son or dj khaled grandson or dj burns yeah yeah okay but seriously dj son or dj booth daughter i don't care you don't have any preference we gotta be i think you're having kids this year probably you have to you have to start thinking about these things i am having kids this year gotta be dj son at least he's making money off of it i guess but like i feel like a dj being a dj feels like a like if you're you're either good at it even if you're good at it you're you might be a piece of shit yeah there's like a small i think the better you get at it the more of a piece

like it's just it's just like a heart like it seems like it would suck to have to like be up till three in the morning every night yeah for work and like and then you're worried about his sleep you'd be worried about his sleep i don't i'd be worried about my son's sleep schedule if he was a dj i think i'd rather my son be some sort of daytime musician yeah daytime maybe you could jack johnson yeah he's like a morning he's like the only like morning he also like sings a lot about like breakfast banana pancakes but that's that's more than most people that's true he has more breakfast songs than most um you know he's like an unbelievable surfer yeah he was like gonna be like the next big thing then he got hurt right oh i don't know i just know he's like boys

with uh kelly slater and rob machado i think he got like fucked by a wave can you look this up no i think he like got like um oh really he like got like pounded by a wave like into some coral or some shit oh my lordy or maybe i'm thinking i might be thinking of bethany hamilton i don't remember i think he got ass fucked by a wave yeah like fucking railed by a crest of a wave what's your favorite wave in the world uh god where do i even start one at the baseball game no there's that one in portugal that's like a million feet nazare maybe i don't know what it's called it is that sorry it is that fark fark chopu's pretty cool what's that it's in tahiti i think that that's where the uh you're

like a surfing wave guy now no i just uh i like watching them i don't know how to do it but i yeah i can still enjoy it from afar jack johnson surfing injury oh and then he made a documentary suffered a serious life-altering wipeout at bonsai pipe oh he's a pipeline that's brutal the accident involving a collision with a coral reef you're like the wave guy now what like oh fuck he's a pipeline it's brutal i actually have heard of that one but just like that'd be like the third wave you're like yeah how many how many different waves could you name before someone's I'm like, what is going on right now? Left him with over 100 to 150 stitches in his forehead and lip and broken teeth.

Yeah, and then he went to like UC Santa Barbara or something and made a movie about surfing. And he did the soundtrack for it. Is it Thicker Than Water? Yeah. Could he not surf anymore or he was just scared of it? We don't surf anymore. Because I think he still surfs leisurely. Yeah, I think it was just like...

yeah but he was like a prospect to be a pro have you what's the worst injury you've ever had oh um see i've never broken a bone or anything me neither really no no never been stung by a bee either i have been stung by a bee but it's not the worst thing i uh i don't know i mean maybe like i like i haven't really had anything that bad like i've had like some concussions yeah and those are always like pretty scary i don't even remember my concussions because they were so early in life how early i haven't told you this when i was uh i want to say like four or five we were on the trampoline and they were doing some landscaping in our backyard so we moved the trampoline to the driveway just like to get it off the lawn and there used to be like a little

tykes table that we would jump off of and like land on that to like break our fall to like get down and i jumped and i looked down and the little tykes table wasn't where it was anymore and it was just pavement or like pavers like the driveway shit whatever and uh smacked my head on the ground lost vision and was like looking at my mom or my mom was like over me and i was like i can't see i can't see which like unbeknownst to her is extremely common if a child like hits their head too early they'll like lose vision for like a couple hours or whatever a couple hours yeah she was like i they like probably the hospital were like oh my god we're gonna have like a blind kid and then like the second i got in there it came back she's um and then i got another one

also trampoline related um my buddy garrett i had a friend garrett who's way bigger than everyone like he this i like i like to describe it this way he had a size nine and a half a6 when we were in fourth grade wow why is the ace a6 just the brand of shoe i remember him wearing and uh and he double bounced me and i hit my head on the house like i went like up jesus uh wait what is he like packing now i mean like shoe size wise or i don't know what he's packing i haven't seen his penis in years but uh i would say he's a 12 maybe 13 i mean he's like six three six four oh yeah but it's still inches isn't that weird your shoe size is just inches really i think can you pull that up google how many inches in a in a shoe size well my european friends must have

huge feet no not directly measured in inches although they are based on foot length oh they're based on barley corn barley corns a third of an inch that doesn't make sense though my my size 11 foot isn't 33 inches long 10 is not 10 inches it's a formula based on barley corns i didn't say it's just the exact number got it so i guess it yeah i guess it doesn't start from zero like a size one shoe is not one barley corn yeah that makes barley corn i was gonna say oh yeah worst injury oh yeah well i had those i had back-to-back concussions in college i feel like i've told the story but it honestly might have been like years ago tell it again i like it i was well if mom if you're listening i was playing basketball uh i was drunk and i was

walking down the sidewalk and i fell and i hit my head and uh i woke up i like went home and like went to bed and then i woke up and they're like my forehead was like bloody and like i was like out of it um i was with my friends i was literally just like walking down the sidewalk and i just like it was like a steep downhill and i just and then i went to the doctor and he's like you have a concussion i was recovering from the concussion doing all the right things wasn't drinking and then uh i decide he was like all right i'm gonna clear you next month like one more week and then next monday when you see me you should be cleared an ultimate frisbee game that sunday the day before i was going to be cleared and i didn't play in it because i was

being responsible it's like one more day and then i'm out of concussion protocol and my friend threw me a we were just on the sideline like not playing and my friend we were just tossing a frisbee back and forth and she threw one and it went over my head and i just not even part of the game i just went to go chase it and we were in the football stadium and i hit a metal bench tripped over it and went straight into the brick wall of the stadium and hit my head so far like harder than it had the first time so i went in the next day and the guy was like all right like hi feeling feeling good and i was like you're gonna fucking hate me and he did the tests and And it was like I had lost all progress.

It was cheats. I went to do like a shoulder bump with someone like in the air, you know. And at the last second, instead of jumping up, he like crouched down. So essentially like tabletop me. Yeah. And I landed directly on my head and I had a concussion for a week. And I was so mad at him. Yeah, that is.

You were hanging out with like a cartoon trickster. Yeah, it was on a tennis court too. So it was like all concrete. i was like what were you thinking not a good guy so not a good guy really bad oh i was at basketball camp went up for went up for an offensive rebound came down landed on someone's like foot and my ankle went like the other way i was convinced it was broken high ankle sprain some people argue worse and uh the actual injury was not that bad it just ruined an entire summer like i couldn't walk on it for so long and i just had to sit i remember just sitting on it i don't

remember what house i was at it wasn't one of our houses we were staying at another house for some reason i just remember being in this random place my foot elevated for like the entire summer there's buns do you think also one of my we went to we went on vacation with our family friends and he had brought a friend yeah and the friend kept calling me gimp the whole that's fucked up my my your suit no because i was walking weird i think he got gimp and limp mixed up because gimp's like a sex thing right i think it can be like like hey gimpy okay definitely no google just gimp definition sex nice and now that guy's at fucking navy seal i don't think it neff i think it might i think it is like

limping oh disabled person slash limp yeah he was calling me gimp the whole uh it's fucked a whole week are you gonna wear those glasses for your race no were those the ones you wore in the la one the malibu half no they were doing 20 questions no uh these i just my friends at heartbreak hill it's like a running company yeah they've been sending me stuff i didn't even i didn't even ask or say anything box shows up my door two pairs of oakleys oh i'm very stoked on these stoked please and then they sent another pair that are better for like racing so i'll probably wear the other pair on race day they look like those over the head ones yeah i'm talking about over the head oh the over the head

oakleys that go over this way guys warm in like the olympics what does that mean google like over the head oakley's they're sick i wanted a pair but uh couldn't get my hands on them oh my god gnarly yeah that guy wore them in the fucking olympics what's the point of that speed mostly no i think this was just like in the early 2000s everything was like futuristic wow like if you had those and those canvas pumas you were yeah you could have the pick the pick of the litter the other ones that hit me are weird they have like these like like paddles on the back almost so they kind of pinch the back of your head so they don't right they don't sit on top of your ear so i think the idea is to like reduce like friction i don't know for like distance running

but so you don't like chafe your ears yeah but that's never really been a problem but but they're they're just like more they have like bigger lenses which i think will be helpful to like see the whole field yeah i watched the new malcolm in the middle reboot oh yeah last night it's like your super bowl it was my super bowl it was my pro bowl and i kind of would have guessed that why do they do that like why would they okay well go ahead it was i mean it's great and i love all those actors and i love malcolm in the middle but it was i think some things need to just be left alone i agree i think that's so stupid even like the office one like have you seen the office one yet i watched like some of the first episode i feel like everyone

no one talked about that it was like a bomb it was a big thing and then just when it can you look up like the paper how the paper like how did it do i gotta give it to him he i love it's one of my favorites he takes instructions well it was renewed i like him i like him a lot do we still do ratings we don't uh seven out of ten pretty good pretty good passing yeah passing grid uh interesting i just it made me sound like oscar was in it i was like bro just hang up the cleats well maybe he needs to he can't some i mean i can't imagine all of them made out like bandits on that they probably had different

deals and stuff uh that guy the guy in the paper is in the first movie flan and i ever watched together oh about time about time oh such a good movie brought her brought her back to my place said you want to watch about time she goes yeah and then she said do you want to watch the amazing race and i said yeah oh we have never watched either since i i've never watched a movie with lauren really yeah what i don't know she's never come up no you guys talk that much i'm kidding oh you should have seen the look in you guys eyes we're like movie movies beat um yeah i've watched a movie promise me that you'll never watch a movie no matter what you do promise me that you'll never read a book parent who thinks movies are smoking yeah parents who smoke promise

you never will smoke a movie don't what the fuck are we talking about promise me you'll never read a book i were that was like a character chet and i had once i promised me you'll never read a book It was like a guy like, I don't know, he was like controlling or something. I was like, oh, baby, come on. Promise me you'll never see a movie. I don't even remember what the bit was. I mean, it sounds awesome. Chet and Skyler saw Cameron Winter last night in East LA.

He is geese. He is the front man. But he's also got a great solo project. Imagine being the back man. This sucks. fuck wait i kind of just assume they stay in indio for the whole week like yeah but i guess not i guess they come back to la that's a lot i mean a week up there i think is pretty long yeah you know how desert time works desert time desert it's desert time we're on desert time

yeah i am excited but i'm getting a little nervous why i'm just getting a little nervous about uh about getting there and feeling overwhelmed by sometimes when we're there not there but when i'm at like a concert or some sort of anywhere where you're like i'm gonna be here for the next 12 hours you know you're gonna hate it was leaving um you have to walk like two miles to like get to like where the cars are and stuff wait have you been to coachelle before i did at stagecoach is it the same campground yeah they said uh because they work in music the passes we have like golf carts can take you around oh so maybe that will be a thing whoa i think you have like the artist artist pass right no i don't think so i mean i don't know because they both like

maybe do you get the front row like viewing experience i don't know i'm literally i'm showing up blind i mean i know i know uh i know that they have like good passes because they like work for the musicians yeah but i think it's got to be like an artist guest from what i've gathered i think artist artist is like you can go sing into the mic if you want really i don't know can i go there they said there are some there are some of the stages that we can like go on when they're performing which would be kind of oh yeah yeah that'd be cool you might be hanging out with like kendall jenner i might be hanging out with jenner what if i came back and i'm just kendall jenner's like my best friend your boyfriend kendall jenner's my boyfriend because you can

have a girlfriend and a boyfriend the org chart of my sex life is oh it's love life sorry what the excuse me a little freudian slip there uh the org chart of my love life would be very very funny kendall jenner is my boyfriend yeah well she's with jacob alordi now too i heard that with him now i heard that flan wants to see a withering heights and i thought it was like just an old wuthering wuthering heights you're fine dude don't fucking sweat it i thought it was just like i thought it was like a fucking mcbeth thing i don't know yeah that's kind of what i thought it was too apparently it's like kinky is all get out i saw a clip where he has like a girl on like a chain and all the comments were like this isn't even in the book they just like made it kinky

it was jacob elordi's rewrite wait it's him and who margot robbie but he had another girl on a chain and he was like feeding her stuff and another girl came in and was like take her off that chain and he goes she wants to be here and the girl goes i want to be here so i don't know if i want to watch like something yeah it's a horny movie have you seen it uh-huh never read the book but it's like a book you read in school which i'm kind of surprised and there's bless you i can't imagine there's how much kinky stuff in the book books can't be kinky right only chain girl i want is fucking wendy's all right yeah man did you guys read hatchet as a kid i did read hatchet i mean i i don't know if i finished

it but i was definitely assigned it and picked through it a little bit i watched i read it i think about that book all the time is that in maine uh like when he gets stranded yeah he gets stranded in maine i would be like civilization he gets stranded on the island no it's just in the middle of the woods i think that might be lost on a mountain in may i thought he was like i thought he was like surviving on an island wait google it i think you're pretty sure he's like in the middle of the forest i think you're thinking lord of the flies i think hatchet was also the forest northern canada northern canada i was listening to radio rental you know that that podcast that tells like scary stories uh i've heard of it but i i don't really know it used

to be like rain wilson would like host and stuff and uh there was one guy who the story takes place in the woods in canada yeah and he kept he kept saying northern ontario so usually like in the scary story they'll like kind of set the scene and then just let you take it from there like listening wise like they don't need to keep harping on like where they are yeah and he he might have said northern ontario 30 times he would just he would be like so i live in northern ontario and and you know there's this long stretch of woods and you know up up in northern ontario obviously it gets there you know the book that's some of the deepest backbush in the world and and uh that's what he said backbush rose got backbush it's like that tough on your that

tuft of hair right on your belt line yeah flan i don't know if i should be sharing this but i was i was a little insecure about how hairy my back was getting so i asked her if she could shave it with an electric razor all all-time sacrifice on her part she said yes and she asked if i wanted to keep the tuft on my butt line i said yeah so i'm making some stylistic choices with my back fun wait i have a question andrew and i'm not trying to i'm not trying to put you on blast you said you think about hatchet all the time i do you know every time you think about it you think it's on an island yeah well i'm not thinking about that part i thought more about like how like the pilot had a heart attack because he had chest pain and so now every time

i have chest pain i think that i'm having a heart attack and i'm thinking about the pilot in hatchet you're gonna start that next trend where it's like asking my boyfriend how often he thinks about hatchet yeah it used to be like the roman empire that was such a frustrating time to be on the internet it was so hard what was your guys answer wait like no just every guy pretending like they they would be like every 20 minutes or whatever it was like yeah performative historians i don't think i mean i i think about it i think about it less i think about it less than less than once a week dude actually i was thinking about a lot on sunday night i was playing poker at my friend connor's house and uh it's kind of a it's kind of a nerdy bunch right and i listen what what

did they listen if they they know they're no it's yeah i'm part of the bunch like it's like it's like a you know it's flexes some muscles that other crews i run with maybe don't right uh but it was i said basically the punchline was marcus agrippa and it brought the house stuff instead of like marcus aurelius no that's a guy i think marcus agrippa was it like a was it like a pussy joke no no it was like a set no exactly that's it was literally like there was like a setup so highbrow there was like a setup earlier where someone mentioned him and then i brought it back it was like a callback punchline and i went it was marcus agrippa and the whole table like melted laughing and it was right when a guy walked in and so he was like what the hell

was the set it was like ah sorry camp like it was just all you guys need to know is i brought the house down yeah and i was i was um i won i lost 12 which is like feels like a win because everyone there was like good at poker i got where were you playing texas hold them nice but i'm not really good and i i've i've been very upfront like if this is annoying for you guys you don't have to invite me to poker night because i don't like i just kind of like go with my gut and they're like no no it's fine like it's i think secretly they're like oh it's more money yes to make off like because we're smarter than you at the game yeah what's the buy-in 50 bucks oh nice i mean that's great if you only lost 12 bucks yeah but i was down to my last penny

and i went all in and i had a full house and he had a straight and i said do i win and everyone's like god fuck you because i was like i actually wasn't positive on that one my grandpa has a poker group in florida yeah and he taught all of them how to play poker fun and so he just rinses them he said they're getting better but he's like it's only 10 bucks like they're just there i think for the camaraderie but we were laughing like it's kind of a kind of a wild move to teach like six guys poker and then just for like months just take their money that is one uh i guess this is a little different but when my family and i went to paraguay in 2008 through this family friends that were from there and we were so we're in this like tiny village in like rural paraguay

and they had this like card game one night my everyone else you know stayed in my dad went out with the with the men with his buddy milner who's from paraguay and then his like friends or family and stuff and they were playing this card game but like betting money and i guess like my dad like kind of had no idea what was going on but was up like a ton of money like he was up like hundreds of dollars which is like the dollar you know or whatever the equivalent it was a lot of money and milner had to like pull him aside and be like dude you can't like clean these guys out like these are like guys who are like working like hard labor every day in rural paraguay like But he's like, if I don't know the rules, I can't lose.

Well, I think he knew enough, so he just threw the... That's nice. He had bankrupted guys. Because they were too prideful. The guys would want him to take the money, but it was just like, dude, you can't. Is it legitimate poverty as well down there? It's extremely poor. Yeah.

It's extremely poor. But there's some... I mean, it sounds cliche, but genuinely some of the happiest people I've ever seen. Yeah. like it it really kind of like doesn't really matter your dad went down there and taught him some reaganomics yeah exactly he trickled all over him oh my god i think for graduation i think we talked about this right you guys had like project graduation where you go to like a main event or something dave and buster's after graduation we had like a poker setup in the main event whoa but

it was a bunch of 18 year olds playing poker who had no idea what was going on yeah and so the dealer was just teaching us like the whole time and he fucking hated us the whole time because he had to explain like every rule and every card to us and you could tell he was just like god fucking damn it i hate these kids i hate doing these high school at uh in vegas they like they have to tell you like what the best move would be but what did you eat like calling off like a like a pitcher but i think it's it's supposed you're supposed to use it like once in a while like i've been at tables where i just like where they've what where you where you can ask the dealer like what

to do oh i've been at tables where i just did it the whole time like every hand yeah and they're kind of like all right with poker no i think it was just like blackjack yeah i mean i do that like they have to tell you yeah but yeah now i'm thinking about there was dude when we were in paragraph we went to this thing and they like they light a soccer ball on fire and everyone plays soccer with it the flaming soccer ball yeah it's like crazy and they're night golf yeah and then they have this huge greasy pole with a pack of cigarettes on it and all night guys are trying to climb up it and get the pack of cigarettes at the top you know you know a thing or two about climbing a greasy pole yeah well for a pack of cigarettes i've done a lot for a

Popeye's sandwich. I've climbed a greasy pole. That's like what they do at the, what is it, West Point? They like grease a statue and then there's like a hat on top. Yep. I saw one in India where there was like a thing hanging from a crane and they were like making like a human tower trying to reach it. And finally one guy did, but the guy under him fell and pulled his shorts down and he

was like free falling. So it was just like his dick was out, but he like couldn't let go because he was like a hundred yards in the air holding on to this thing so he's just like stuck it was like a middle school movie nightmare that's like the dream the dream i would have before like a big test yeah yeah i'm hanging from a crane in india with my gonads out charlie brown's oh my god oh my fucking god have you ever uh you ever flash flashed anyone on accident like that uh not on accident you've ever been flashed we got hit with like an old school flasher one time outside of yosaku where's that it's on uh four street in portland who like as a kid as a kid we were we

my sister live clifford and i walked out of yosaku and a guy came up in a trench coat and went and flashed and i thought it was really funny and oh yes i think they started bawling crying obviously that was probably the first penis they'd ever seen yeah i think i i don't think i've ever you would know it would be on the news if my thing right anyone ever saw my penis well they'd be able to there's only one guy whose penis looks like that so they'd find you immediately the only thing preventing you from flashing is your unique penis right it can't he gave me that unique penis i mean it can open a wine bottle right yeah you do the math it's like a duck you know ducks penises are corkscrew shaped yeah so talk me through what you've eaten

because this is like you said duck doing an impression i i feel like you'd guess i would be the gassier one i'm so lauren is like at her wits end because you've you've completely opened the floodgates oh yeah well i opened the floodgates before i even dated but she wasn't she wasn't living at your house well i'm just like i like i can go to the bathroom and do it she still hears it and she still makes a face at me right it's so loud you hear it does she fart in front of you she doesn't fart be honest because if if it's one-sided and she's being respectful you gotta dial it down no you okay time out she doesn't fart ever but if she did she doesn't i'm saying i i don't know i i'm sorry but like in my own in my own bedroom

yeah it's kind of like i'm gonna fart how early in the relationship were you farting or because you knew her i was farting before that no i know like but when you started dating did you did you oh yeah i would have toned it back maybe for a few more i don't know i mean i think that's normal to fart in front of your girlfriend but but do yours reek no okay then that's fine because the noise don't smell it's just the noise mine will she says she that she's only worried about it Because sometimes it sounds like I shit myself in the bed. And that stresses her out. Right.

You're not supposed to fart in bed. Because when you fart, like, poop particles come out. So you're just, like, ridding your sheets with... Where are you supposed to do it? In your clothes? Yeah, I think... I mean, you're definitely not supposed to fart naked in bed. That's the issue.

if you're wearing boxers like yeah that's great but i'm usually wearing i uh yeah flannan flannan's going through a similar thing where she just she's had it with the farting i just don't understand what like the hell i'm supposed to do i think where she gets upset is when it's clear i pushed it out like you can let things kind of take their natural course but when i'm like getting in a funny pose or like tricking her with pulled my finger or wizarding her butter cupping her uh those things are all kind of uh hard nose for her yeah well my sister uh and i were talking about wizarding in florida apparently this is not a thing other families no it's just you what is it you fart in your hand and then you go you fart in your hand you can throw like i could hit andrew

from here it would work really you might not get the full force but you'd smell it really yeah if you were at that camera i could hit you like a brick i don't know if i believe you i'm shocked you haven't tried it uh i would never do that do it to yourself one of these days it's really funny you'll smell it but isn't that just like your hand smells like fart no you you're it's the gas is in is trapped in your hand and then when you let it go your hand doesn't smell like poop for the rest of the day when you fart in your hand really the same way your boxers don't smell like shit after you fart you don't fart the way i do yeah yours are singeing holes in them blowing a hole farting like it's not poop it's just like the force just blew a hole in your pants i saw a girl post a

you know those purple mattresses that are like it's like a grid purple mattress i don't know pull up purple mattress it's like a grid oh it's like a grid those things no i have no idea a girl a girl posted on instagram uh she was sleeping with a heating pad and like singed all the way through it and all the comments were just about how she probably farted wait that looks comfy really i think this does not look comfy at all it's it's uh the good news is i think it's under a mattress topper like you're not sleeping you're not sleeping on it this woman's sleeping on it and that i think is for marketing purposes all right how about i go he and then roadmap yeah let's do it maybe a little bit more

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i spent my whole yearly salary on a bird that can't fly would you say something to me if i was wearing golden gooses i've always thought they're like trendy i always thought they looked really cool but i thought maybe i'd get made fun of no i think they'd be cool really aren't they like super expensive yeah they're pretty expensive that's why that's why i haven't pulled the trigger i think they're like 600 bucks jesus that's crazy to me and they look like beat up you can get non beat up ones like i have buddies that wear just like normal they just look like normal like skate shoes um not that i've been doing any skating in them but like there's no point for that you're just paying for what the name i guess i guess but but here's so here's the thing if there was a shoe

that was the same silhouette without the star and the writing and stuff i would still like it yeah i honestly the the thing that's holding me back is that the name is on it yeah i just like the way they i like the way that napa leather double strap shoe those are pretty beast those are pretty beast gavin always wears those um ben and jerry's air force one collab yeah how much aren't those like 2k 3k yeah those are pretty expensive wait what are they he wears ben and jerry's dunks that are pretty cool ben and jerry's like the ice cream yeah yeah they're like a thousand dollars yeah he just wears them to work i think that's crazy i think that's how you do it i bought a couple pairs of expensive shoes and i just feel like you just have to wear them like really i

wore them like golfing or i wore them to the simulator let's go golfing and and someone was like upset that because you like drag your kind of like leading toe on the way through and uh and but i think like if i'm gonna buy a pair of sneakers that i think look cool i'd rather wear them i'm not gonna i'm never gonna resell them so i feel like the point of obviously i'm not gonna try and walk through like puddles and stuff like i would in my rain boots but i think if i think you're gonna buy something wearing it is cool yeah i've stopped i used to be a you know sneakerhead yeah you said at one point i had three pairs of yeezys i remember that and when you're a bc yeah yeah and then i sold one threw one in the garbage just compactor because i got a planter's

wart on my foot and they say you have to throw your shoes what's a planter's wart um google it well like your shoes are now like infected yeah oh lord above oh no thank you uh non-cancerous contagious skin growth on the soles of the feet caused by hpv bro's got hpv that doesn't mean you have hpv caused by it you had it briefly at least doesn't like 90 of the world have hpv though what yeah pretty sure 31 80 at one point in their life is that is but that's genital hpv i did not have genital hpv i had a wart on my foot and you know it's for you feet are genitals right because you have that like whole like foot well sure that's an argument you can make but i had to dig it out with um like a knife i cut it out why doesn't the doctor do that because i did it it

was covet i didn't want to go leave the house and i cut it out of my foot myself how did that go for you i i i was so determined to get rid of it i went until i was literally bleeding out of my own foot i've done a i've done two procedures like that on myself and i regret both of them i told you i fell asleep on the laptop charger oh yeah burnt a hole like that mark right there that was like a centimeter deep into my leg and i cut it out and pulled it out and it was like a chunk of scab like this deep in like a cone shape and uh why'd you cut it out i can't remember it was just like so gross and i was like i can't get rid of this thing and maybe i didn't cut it up but i think i like scraped it out or something i remember looking at it being like holy shit

and my girlfriend at the time's dad thought i burnt myself with a cigar because it was a perfect circle on my leg and i came over with a bandage and i was telling her mom like yeah i fell asleep on the laptop charge and he was like oldest trick in the book because i was like is that has anyone ever said that before and then maybe like i had a permanent retainer that was anchored to my two back teeth on the bottom and you could put your thumb under it and like pull it up and it would like click like it would like snap back down and i pulled it too far and so it was the bar was like here and so i couldn't close my mouth it was like nine at night and uh my sister pulled it out with pliers yeah which that didn't make any because it's like glued on there i'm shocked

it didn't roadmap it this is hurting my teeth i'm sorry i'm shocked it started i know but i just do we got a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitch followed by our pitches then we're gonna do confessions we'll do whatever else we want we can do this guy we're gonna do this guy rocks we're gonna do teach me something and then willie and i are gonna do black mirror episodes that don't exist oh yeah nice followed by uh what was the other one graduation parties graduation party themes that don't exist all right long time listener curtis here i've been keeping this one for a while what's the worst part about apartment living worst part about apartment living gotta be rent yeah okay probably rent i but outside of that i

would maybe say not a lot of outdoor space um you're too high up you're 50 feet in the air at any time if you're afraid of heights that's not a necessary characteristic of that's just your specific apartment my apartment is 50 is exactly 50 feet in the air which scares me yeah somebody stole my coachella wristband did i talk about this what yeah from my apartment complex oh like it came in the mail it came in the mail someone stole it so what are you gonna do i have to go to will call on thursday which i could be like a two hour are they gonna be able to get in with it no it so basically what they're gonna do is like sell it to someone it's gonna look legit because it is but then when they try to scan it it's gonna be deactivated that is so brutal yeah it

sucks yeah i feel really bad for whoever got it um all right long time listener uh oh um okay the worst part about apartment living is that wondering if you're being too loud or waking up your neighbors introducing the sound dimmer new apartment buildings will install smart sound systems that alert you when your early morning tunes or late night shenanigans are disrupting your neighbors alerts are made via any smart device from from your phone all the way to your google home or amazon alexa say goodbye to passive aggressive notes and complaints from the property manager and welcome to peace of mind in your home with sound dimmer i love that i love that i worry i worry some some neighbors might abuse it though and would spam the button

like you're being too loud is that how it works it's like it's all connected like they report you which i actually would like because then i could notify my neighbors like hey stop parking like that yeah but that might be annoying because then it's like if you're being like not that bad you don't know what it sounds like right them and then maybe you can hear what it sounds like from their point of view yeah so whatever i'm doing to you you it does to me i think it should make you put you guys on a facetime and you guys have to duke it out if they report it like three times it puts you on automatic facetime i like that yeah i like it you could also use it for like sometimes i wake up and i'm curious if i'm doing it to my other if

my other roommates i'm disturbing their morning yeah so they it would notify you if like you know they could just text you right they can text you yeah but they're too nice yeah they're too nice i love it all right what's the worst part about shoes open air so sometimes yeah sometimes you want open air so like i've you know i'm on my flip-flop kick right now sometimes i need you know boots sometimes i need sneakers sometimes sometimes it flip-flops are appropriate for one thing i'm doing but they're not going to be appropriate for you know a certain restaurant i'm going to later the four-part shoe starts as boots you can unzip it i'm listening it starts as boots you can unzip the top now it's like sneakers you can unzip the back now it's like

sandals you can unzip the top and it's flip-flops yes i'm in say good say goodbye to to being out sometimes i'll be at one bar where flip-flops are okay and then my crew wants to go to a place that you have to have closed-toed shoes and i'm like i'm not gonna i can't go yeah say goodbye to that maybe maybe it's five parts in its pants too we can talk about it workshop all right love it but also the i was thinking about the problem is like at the base your boots would at the at all times you're still wearing flip-flops under all of them which might get annoying oh like this stuff in between maybe you can just connect the thing well we can figure it out in a post-production r and d yeah uh all right i've got the sam dunk contest i like my brother to get a shot

i feel like he's hard-working kind right loving smart being being kind famously a a scoring category for the dunk contest well it would be for the sam dunk contest and he would get a 10 so i would like him to get a shot sam if you're listening this is for you i love it all right should we do uh uh should we do confessions i'm starting to believe i might have psychic abilities and could be killing people i know this sounds crazy but hear me out a couple years ago i was talking to my sister-in-law about one direction i said i have a feeling liam pain will die young three days later he passed away we chalked it up being a crazy coincidence then about a year ago my co-workers told me about her elderly grandfather who was

100 years old. She was telling us that he's been in poor health recently so I made a comment about how well at least you know when he passes he lived a long beautiful life. I'm not even joking a few hours later she got the call that he died. Recently my aunt had a friend who was diagnosed with I can't pronounce that and asked her how he was doing. She said he was still alive. I told her wow that's surprising that disease can progress really quick good for him and he died later that night i feel this overwhelming guilt that i keep jinxing people and killing him it was my birthday recently and my last few birthdays someone has died or had a medical emergency that week before my birthday i made a joke while heading to my birthday party that no one better try to die this

year my cousin literally passed out at the restaurant hours later he's fine but i was nervous for a second am i going to hell or am i a prophet all right i got a few things in back you got okay the liam payne one that one's crazy that one's crazy the rest of them are just what normal people would say like him saying at least if he passes he'll have a long beautiful life is it like he's gonna die tonight yeah well also they all have all the other people except for liam payne have terminal yeah they have terminal yeah i mean this is like like but i like i like where your head's at i like where your head's at that you're that he's thinking or she's thinking i don't know is this a boy or a girl i think a girl i mean i like that

they're thinking uh about just a vibes thing on the girl yeah well she also said she had a sister i think boys boys can definitely have sisters both of us are living proof um but i like it i think that i think that maybe keep that in your back pocket yeah i mean it's i i think the liam pain one if that hadn't happened first you wouldn't even thought about some of the other ones but you got in your own head about it and now you're like self-affirming yeah i think the cia might look into you i mean i hope i wish i had your gift because jerry jones would be dead good lord above why no i don't want it i'm just saying he would be dead oh so you could win your death pool because i've been saying that i think he's gonna die this year i don't want jerry jones

to die i don't know jerry jones i've never met him i've never worked with him i got i'm not affiliated with jerry jones in any way maybe throw a feeler out there and just in conversation be like uh who's like the baddest guy right now who the baddest of them all who's like a guy that could uh that would not be controversial to say hitler i mean everyone even the worst guys are like beloved these days there's got to be some like terrorist leader is there joseph coney is there like who's coney who's the who's the bin laden of 2025 coney why are you ignoring that he runs a child army okay yeah maybe oh because you think it's like not real right no i'm a coney denier i'm not a coney denier i would just was told that it was

a hoax and that we all fell for it he's a coney denier i heard it like he wasn't even a real guy okay you are a you are a coney denier okay okay all right throw a feel out there and say like it'd be a shame if joseph coney died and then if he dies try it you start using it for good like who's the who's the worst guy north korea's yeah maybe say like maybe say like it'd be a shame diddy kim yeah be ashamed if diddy died and see how that goes for you forgive me fathers for i have sinned my work friend moved across the country a while ago and we've been keeping in contact through snap mostly a few months back me and at the time new girlfriend were up late at night being freaky over snap sexting as the not too youngins would say when i accidentally sent

a new to both him and her not in a group chat thank god anyways i hadn't realized the mistake as i was obviously more focused on the snaps i had coming in next day i go to send him a streak not knowing i had accidentally streaked him that night uh to find out i was blocked on everything your friend is overreacting you got blocked on everything because you said a little hard you should if my friend accidentally slipped tip i would i would definitely check like hey what was that all about before i blocked this and you okay sure you accidentally snap flap but it's a work friend it's a work friend so they weren't like oh wait is it a dude is it two dudes two dudes yeah are we sure yeah yeah i think uh listen we've all you know we've all snapped flap we've all

made that mistake no i snapped i think i think that he overreacted but i think that you messed up big time totally you have to be we got to be triple checking purgatory yeah purgatory all right uh should we do this guy rocks yeah okay this is a video from a girl named cassie and it says some couples go out for drinks we show up to start chaos that i would love to be at that bar so i don't know if you got any of the any of the looks on the patron other patrons face yeah faces there is a guy at the front of the bar who it looks like has had a long day doing construction or something yeah imagine going to just have a beer after work and these two folks walk in and tell you you're not being loud enough for her boyfriend

yeah is he uh is it possible he's some sort of local celebrity i guess but if he is then she wouldn't have to tell anyone also you have to wear a shirt to the bar i know i don't i don't i don't want to be like mr rules here but that's like rule i've seen you pop top it quite a few in my day you can't walk in like that though it's like you gotta you gotta work up to it yeah you gotta work out like like read the room a little bit yeah you're not loud enough for this man who are these people all right let's see who's who willie's looks i kind of forget what happened to this video but i saved it so all right and you want to do you want to tee it up at all no i love you back on that i love you you're loving my life you feel me

i'm ready for my warm cookies i'm ready for my warm milk you feel me yeah but i'm ready for my you know what they say dinner is not complete without dessert you feel me right so let me get let me just get this those are my friends let me get this straight let me get this straight he said i'm ready for my warm cookie don't overthink it it's just and then she said i'm ready for my warm milk you feel me yeah yeah i do feel you i get it so until they got freaky i was gonna say this is flan and i after one quarter's light but then they got all freaky i just like i thought it was a tender moment where they're just vibing out she's a singer she's sexy singer one two three so i feel like she hit the sexy she hit the singer

can i can we listen to it one more time just the beginning part yeah i'm ready for my warm cookies i'm ready for my warm milk you feel me yeah but i'm ready for my dessert you know what they say dinner is not complete without dessert you feel me right pause it that outside of the outside of the freaky aspect of it i've seen very similar conversations on the newest season of love on the spectrum really where he's like he was like i'm ready for my warm cookie and then she tries to make it freaky and then he goes no but i'm ready for my dessert warm cookies freaky totally but then him being like no no you don't understand i'm ready for my warm dessert that's not what he means like he wants vagina yeah that's his

dessert i would you thought this man just wanted actual dessert who knows who knows man i think it's beautiful to see two people that are in love um you ever heard that chanel west coast song eat my cookie yeah of course people are really supportive in the comments good i mean so Wait, really? How do you know these people? They, we were like buddies, like early high school. And then we kind of went our separate ways and then kind of circled back. Right.

So now this person is saying this is a conversation you hear after your parents tell you to go to bed and the music starts blasting. Oh, Lord. This is what your parents are doing? No. That has 1,200 lights. That's what I'm trying to do. Oh, my God. All right.

Let's keep moving. all right should you teach me something yeah dwight eisenhower okay was a member at augusta national okay he's the only president to do so really and a bunch of stuff that they like loved him he had like an office there he has a they built a house for him on the grounds they named the pond after him they named a tree after him because he wanted he kept hitting this tree with his drive and he told him to take it down and they didn't and so they named it ike's tree was he a president and then became a member he was a member and then became president i know what you're thinking coincidence no a lot of the members there obviously very powerful people

like campaigned for him and and uh probably helped him get elected is that crazy yeah that's cool he's the only president both the manning brothers are are members at augusta national really yeah and uh and no president how do you get membership you they have to ask you there's no way to do it unless they approach you i want you think i'll i think there's a chance i think you have a better chance than than any president i think you have a slightly better chance jokes on you they asked me last night they asked me i'm a member at augusta national they i think yeah i think you I think you have a .01% chance, I bet. Maybe less.

But that's better than most people. I'm in. All right. Do you know that Columbia is named after Christopher Columbus? The country? He's never even been there. The glazing is ridiculous. We named this podcast Bob Hope.

Bob Hope. pod pod why'd they name it after him then i don't know well i mean he found it he i guess he found america it was on jeopardy last night and i was like that is kind of funny he named he he found he found america i guess he's probably never been at columbia south carolina either yeah damn good dude jeopardy right now insane there's a guy on this gnarly streak and he's dominating what's his name jamie ding is he new he's not anymore he's been 22 days in a row yeah i've I probably caught the beginning. I haven't watched in like a month.

I mean, this is generational. He's top five all time. Ain't no Ken Jennings, though. Ken Jennings with that 73. But he's dominating everyone. He's got a chance. I'm excited to find out. All right, should we do our drafts?

All right, should we do graduation party themes that don't exist? Yeah. These are graduation party themes that don't exist. Tassel turn. you can only drink if your tassel is on the right side of your graduation cap throughout the party you try to subtly move people's over to the left side but if they're caught drinking with it on the left side then they have to finish their drink love it i like that pladuation everyone who's graduating dresses in plaid so you know who to congratulate wow i like that drink your gpa

you drink however many drinks uh are in your gpa so if you have a 4.0 you get four drinks 3.5 you get three and a half drinks you know if you're really trying to party you can scale it up right you could maybe do two drinks per weight yeah per gpa point uh but yeah it sounds like a pretty tame party what if it was what if you could like you could do like two per point what could be your abv it's like if you had a 4.0 you could be 0.04 that would be dangerous okay uh twees get degrees you everybody's drinking twee i like that and they're graduating i i focus too much on the wordplay and not the rules that's okay fuck me uh rewind everyone dresses the way they did the freshman year love it that's fantastic yeah art tassel it's like art

basil but uh all the people who are graduating create a piece for everyone to look at and then maybe the parents buy it and that's their graduation gift like that fucking banana dude that was so fucking fuck you remember that shit early embalmment it's a bowling party fuck me okay black mirror episodes these are black mirror episodes that don't exist every human in this world has to charge every night like an electronic device and when there's a cyber attack and all the power goes out the only people who can charge are rich people who have generators and so there's like an uprising to try and break in and use these uh rich people's generators i love it thank you bird bath all the bird scooters start locking people riding them to

their feet and driving them straight into the ocean that's fantastic i should have named them i forgot about the naming part that's okay everyone's memories are uploaded to a cloud and you have to pay a monthly fee to keep your storage in the cloud and so we follow this one mother who uh gets fired from her job and can no longer pay for the storage so she's forgetting like her kids and like all the memories of them who her husband is and then eventually we watch her completely forget who she is that's actually great thank you i love that it's a future and all the computers have got us fucked oh my god why are all the computers doing this to us and all our memories are computers and our heads are computers and now our bodies are computers too

oh jesus christ when these computers get us we're never gonna be uh good again the computers are the more we download the more we lose our limbs the more we download the more we lose our limb sounds like a nightmare um everyone has a chip in their mind that records their thoughts and every night your thoughts are uploaded for the entire world to see so if you had like some naughty thoughts people can see that on this database and then if you are caught thinking about rebelling or any naughty thoughts then you get put in jail until you can stop having those thoughts and so that's how they keep people from rebelling is you can't you can't even formulate a plan without them because it gets

putting you in jail like that well 1984 uh is that what happens in 1984 kind of fuck i mean not really you can sleep with cocos now but it hurts everyone's trying but some people keep uh losing their parts of their body because they are trying so much i'm gonna be honest i've never seen black mirror oh man yours were really good thank you we'll see you in mexico we love you guys we'll see you in mexico Thanks for watching!