Will & Rusty's Playdate - You Smashed My Heart Into Reese's with Will Angus

Episode Date: January 17, 2024

Today we welcome our special friend, Will Angus, from the Almost Friday Podcast. The boys draft Ben & Jerry’s flavors that don’t exist, sayings that don’t exist, and pitch each other their finest business ideas. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod PICK UP SOUTHERN COMFORT WHISKEY FOR YOUR NEXT PREGAME OR WATCH PARTY. SOCO IS EASY GOING AND DOWNRIGHT DELICIOUS. https://www.southerncomfort.com/ HEAD TO https://mugsyjeans.com/ FOR 20% BACK ON YOUR FIRST ORDER OF DAMN-COMFORTABLE CLOTHING RIGHT NOW. FREE SHIPPING AND FREE RETURNS. (00:00) Intro (00:09) Our Special Guest (05:20) LA Without a Car (11:34) Pitch Submissions (24:45) Pitches (34:30) Accents (42:16) Ben & Jerry’s Flavors that Don’t Exist (51:24) Sayings that Don’t Exist (01:04:06) Petsitting (01:07:09) Willy’s Best Story Yet… Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad? I get it. I'm Siaya and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll.

So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. all right episode 20 we have a very very special guest today we always said if we made it 20 episodes we'd bring on our tallest friend ladies and gentlemen will angus thanks for having me guys thanks for uh thanks for coming in i'm in eye in this pod since day one i'm y'all's biggest supporter really have you ever listened to an episode yeah first one there you go i did that's awesome and you watch the clips you're saying you love the clips watch all the clips what's your favorite clip i think you're the dartboard one the dartboard saying oh yeah people love the

bulls i ain't worth 60 well it's a it's a really good one we got more tags today we you brought i brought some say they're hard to come up with yeah yeah well they're actually really hard to come up with you could never do what we do i don't think i could did you come up with all of yours this morning i did yeah i did i got up early kind of 8 8 30 normal yeah not i don't usually get up early on the weekend so i got up early so i could squeeze in some baldur's gate this morning baldur's gate is it a game yeah it's a new game isn't it pc no it's like it's no it's like it's like really like racy it's really i probably shouldn't be talking it's not pc give me a synopsis i probably shouldn't bring it up give me a quick rundown dnd okay i want to get into dnd

i do too wait dnd like dungeons and dragons it's like the video you come up with we should we should play i want to get like a guy to come in and host and host one yeah you're into it i'm in well you need like you need like a legit uh you gotta get a master what's it called dungeon dungeon master you're doing fine yeah um all right we got we got sayings that don't exist we got our pitches and you guys get right into it no we we give a roadmap yeah just just so people know what they're what they're getting into whoa and then we got ben and jerry's flavors that don't We've got to do that. A road map?

You couldn't do that, though. You guys don't plan anything. Road map. You guys are about to ask how my weekend was? Oh, yeah. Hey, dude, how was your weekend? Oh, it was sick, dude. On Saturday, I had an all-time night.

I went... I'm so excited. He's giving me those eyes. No, I just got goosebumps. I went to this karaoke... You can't believe I'm in here. I went to a karaoke bar. Yeah.

Gaslight, you ever heard of it? No. Santa Monica. I've been there. Yeah. I used to take my ex-girlfriend there. Yes. Very good.

Very good. Yes. Anyway, I get there. We're like, all right, let's go to karaoke. There's an iPad where you put your song and your name in, and everyone around is like, it's not working. The karaoke machine's been broken for hours. It's not working tonight.

And everyone's like, oh, this sucks. And then I just swiped down the little command center thing, and the Wi-Fi was just turned off. So I just hit the Wi-Fi button, and immediately it popped right on. So I got to cue the first song, and everyone was like, I was like the bell of the ball. Everyone was like, oh, my God. I was like, I got the karaoke back, and the employees loved me. I was like the man that I went up and did over my head by the fray.

And I was already the man at that point. Yeah. Yeah, it was sick. It was sick. Was your new gal there to see it? No. You got a new gal? I don't.

I went on one date last Tuesday. Oh. oh wait we never got to hear about it but but then after that i went and played settlers of katan and i did the second coolest part of my night you got longest road i did that it was it was a bloodbath and longest road i already had three largest army and i was i picked up the night card to i knew on my next turn i'd play it and win the game controlled the flow of commerce so i called i called the uber and ordered taco bell before like while everyone else was going And so then it got to my turn.

I pulled out the card, won the game, held up my phone. My Uber was already there. It was the sickest move of all time. And my Taco Bell was on the way. That's like the itch. Yeah. Feels like the itch of Godfather 1. It was so cool.

I said, all right. Can't say I didn't see that coming. Showed him the Uber, walked out, get to the Uber. I forgot my wallet. So then I had to go back in. It just kind of ruined the moment. But it was cool. Whose house was this at?

Mike. He was a new guy. He was killer. A new guy? I met a new guy. Part of the update? Yeah, he was like my friend of a friend that I met that night, and he was just a killer guy. I can't do Catan in real life.

I play it on my laptop, because keeping track of everything for me is a nightmare. It's all there. What are you talking about? It's all in front of you. I wouldn't know what to do if my laptop was like, these are your options. So we would all get together and pull our laptops out, and then there's no cleanup. Well, you can only roll and build. it was just it was what part yeah what part it was it was a little over my head so we would

we all had it on steam and we would play chat plays online yeah play it on steam it's really fun no it's fun in person it's way more fun in person but like we could all play from different houses yeah but i would way rather like drive to your house and play it you've literally never once driven to my house i don't have a car i'm just saying in theory every time i asked every time i asked will will texted me the other day unprompted and goes um if i could teleport to your house i would i would hang out but i but i don't want to i was i was stung as hell i might need to get a car do you we're gonna for moving offices i know that's gonna be that's a huge problem neither of you guys have cars no correct yeah i see or you're i don't know

yeah bleep it uh i see i see i see your friend kathy i see kath kathleen drop you off at work sometimes and it's like it's it's pretty cool yeah kathy's fine yeah i just like i like the visual i don't have a i don't have anyone to drive me to work it's very lonely endeavor we have fun we have a fun morning um i drink my little coffee i either walk or drive here quick two minute drive now it's gonna explode my morning yeah it's gonna destroy my entire process well where are we i mean i don't know i think one of the i don't have a car or a bike i don't know what i'm gonna do i think one of the options is closer to your house no over by the canals there could be nothing closer to my house yeah well maybe we could tag team it well chester you're

talking about like carpooling reduce our carbon emissions carbon try to make try to make up for taylor swift yeah eco political you guys see on uh okay on delta now they tell you like what your carbon emission is i've never understood if i buy a nicer seat it says that i have a bigger there's i'm somehow producing more carbon but that probably don't need a portion of it to research but we're still on the same plane so how am i how am i worse for your seat is bigger the plastic to make the seat there's way more if there weren't first class people there'd be more people on the plane which would reduce carbon emissions so by by nature of their existing a first class you're taking up an extra seat yeah got a notification this morning that i that i already

got upgraded for my flight on thursday nice bring it in there where are you going uh i'm going to boston gold medallion no big deal why are you going to boston going to see my lady friend for her birthday you okay yeah maybe you could do some bang out some videos while you're there and we could really use some for the drink friday beer yeah we need something for this so i yeah so if you go and take a look at the spreadsheet uh i i think i'm the only one that's made one so far oh yeah isn't the doodler to do yeah the deadline today we could probably just drink a bunch of friday beers on this and clip it and put it in that i can't i gotta go hiking later today right with your mom with my mom nice yeah all right should we and my papa is your brother in town

no i love your brother thank you he's a good guy he's a nice guy should we get into some pictures guys yeah he's 29 he's older than you even he's older than me yeah hmm how old are you 28 27 26 27 27 27 well when's your birthday 9 11 oh i know yours sorry march march oh what day coming up it's coming up did kids march what i was gonna say did kids in your class still celebrate your birthday or what did nine nine nine eleven like overshadow it no dude it was like people they started a whole hashtag for people not to forget it dude so like every there were people come out of the woodwork like i remember like people wishing me a happy birthday that it was like you only know that because it's 9-11 you know what i mean wait can i bring up something

9-11 related yeah always can we pull up clips yeah okay of 9-11 have you already seen it what are you talking about no look up um i mean this is gonna spoil it whoa who's betting spoiled 9-11 no this is gonna spoil the clip i'm gonna show you look up black rifle coffee oh yeah yeah they sent us stuff oh 9-11 commercial oh god i think i've seen this guy they're like they're like ex-marines it came out two days ago let's see uh if we oh god this is a coffee no uh it's like brand new um where do you find it where do you see it i saw it on tv it says it has one view and it was uploaded at 6 a.m this morning saw it on cable show in my age this maybe what you're watching yeah let's try it what were you

It has to be. It might be this. Was it when you were watching the Cowboys game? I was watching the... This is going to be such a bummer. No, this isn't it. Okay, I'll just explain it. All right.

It's like a guy at a bar with his girlfriend. Clearly in like Boston. Oh, maybe it's this. Is it this? No, seven months ago. Could be. They make like political ads, but then it's for coffee. All right, whatever.

Okay. All right, explain it. It's this guy in a bar, and he's hanging out with his girlfriend. and they're laughing and then all of a sudden he looks up at the tv and it's 9-11 and he's like he's locked in and then he like boom all of a sudden he's like in training camp and then he's in afghanistan fighting or iraq yeah and then um and then it just cuts to like black rifle coffee company and i i just it's crazy that's awesome using 9-11 to promote yeah yeah also like looking back on like going to iraq i was like yep that was the that was the right course of action like

we're glorifying well only time will tell so we won't know for another 100 that's true that's true you can't to be honest you can't really say it felt yeah but that is insane you can make an argument both ways yes what was that robert pattinson movie where it's a good time yeah it's a no it's a completely normal movie the entire movie and then in the in the last 15 seconds you realize that it was all happening on september 11 2001 and i don't think that's a robert pattinson movie i promise you it's a robert pattinson it's like a it's like i've heard it's like a romantic movie and it's supposed to show how unexpected this was and the last scene is him and his dad's office looking out and it pans out and it's the twin towers and everyone was like oh

uh uh twilight batman um all right let's hear some moon let's hear some pitches new moon i think it was new moon so will if you're not if you're not familiar you're not with us you're against us we the first thing we do is we hear pitches from the listeners from our playmates from our playmates and we and we say whether or not we would invest in your think like he's cuban i'm damon no i'm the i'm a network guy we're both damon no i'm barbara damon right sure we're both damon i'm barbara you're barb you're randy no you're when kevin hart like guest starred i was gonna say can i be like the gopro guy that like i'm simon had his his sun-soaked hair standing you know what i'm talking about yeah yep all right i'm gopro man okay first one is from

Sophia Karp. Yo, dog. Sophia Karp? Wait, Sophia Karp? Yeah. That's awesome. Is that her real name or is this her Instagram handle again?

No, it's Sophia. I feel like that's a fairly normal name. That's an awesome name. Sophia dot Karp with a K. It could be like Karpowski or something. Sure. It's probably for the fish. Yeah, it's probably for underwater or something.

Her pitch idea is the idea snatcher. You ever been in a conversation and someone says something really funny or clever and you think to yourself, I wish I came up with that first. Well, lucky you. With the Idea Snatcher, now you did. This device hacks into the memory of anyone

who witnessed the first idea or statement and overrides it with a memory of you saying that thing. This can also work in reverse, attributing any joke or story that didn't quite land to someone else. Now you can be the bell of the ball wherever you go. Oh my God. That, I think, would have some pretty bad consequences.

may i interject yes uh sell it to the military for 45 billion dollars i mean that's how your drones they started as toys i'm pretty sure sold that to the military like the four propeller ones yeah yeah you can make so much money with that idea i don't know how i guess let the engineers figure out how we're high level we're high level yes yeah okay what would they use like torture yeah what do you mean what like you just the american militant no no okay so let's cut that jesus christ dude it would be for like before like world for like world peace for to reduce carbon emissions for like stop help convince everyone to switch to solar stop in the spread of communism

yeah all right well you guys are high level right yeah yeah okay what's the i think that why do you think it would be a military application what's you like oh oh i got it i got it i got it after a big mission we take all of the guys that were involved and we we take the guilt of whatever they did and we put it on someone else so that they come home without ptsd okay and the people we put it on are like foreign or they're yeah they're not they're not from here okay it doesn't even i was thinking we could just go to like a country where like say they got like a bunch of cool rocks we want grab the governor the chieftain whatever it is and use it on him make him forget you know what i'm saying we can topple governments with it and you get

government subsidies by making him think he had an idea yeah like he what he came up with the idea to switch to capitalism or something okay i got it like you it's like inception it's kind of like you think of the idea that like give all your resources to the u.s and then make him think that you thought of that yeah yeah it's kind of like my mom i liked it my mom used to tell me if you want your dad to do something you have to convince him that it was his idea so you would just be like You'd plant a seed like a week in advance And then let him come to you And be like we should go water rafting

Water rafting? Water rafting And be like Ask Brenda And yeah So I think we figured that one out Let's hear the next one Sophia did

Do you buy? Is it like a buy sell? We typically invest in all of them Bonds i don't i think the last one we didn't invest in was uh it was something that like we had already come up with yeah we try to buy low sell high in general i guess so all right next one is from annie mcmahon wow wow strong name i knew what annie mcmahon wait is it i think i know who this person is how do you spell annie that's how that's what would a-n-n-i-e are you sure what

do you mean am i sure i'm staring at it it's not who i was thinking of them all right they spelled it weird okay hi i'm a huge fan of the show and i came up with a pretty sick pitch the car call have you ever been driving and see someone who sucks at driving and wonder if they even know how some drivers but their stupidity are not self-aware enter the car call this device allows you allows you to connect to the bluetooth of cars around you and tell them how bad they are maybe they maybe they knew they were bad and just need some driving advice or maybe they didn't and you just helped a fellow citizen this will 100 work at keeping dummies in check if you bring this on shark tank please give me credit thanks i love it so much yeah does she think this is shark tank

road rage murders will quadruple i i actually had this thought organically the other day where i wanted i wanted like game chat for driving because some guy some guy cut me off and i wanted to get i wanted to get like in his headset and be like you're a fucking idiot That would be a good evolution of it. Game chat? It's like, what do they call it in games? Proximity chat? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Proximity chat for cars? Well, truckers have, truckers can always talk to each other. They have the big walkie-talkie. Is that true? Yeah. Well, they all have like a, it's like one radio, one frequency that all truckers are on and kids, I guess, like in the 70s, you should get bored and go on that thing and like fuck with truckers.

I remember, well, that's like, they always know like what's going on when there's like a traffic incident. you ever been like stopped on the highway and then like my parents would like i remember they'd like ask a trucker what's going on yeah wait what because they're all because they're he'll be like oh yeah there's a car broken down in the middle lane up there because he heard they would roll the window down and ask the trucker i thought you meant your parents also had a good thing no um we need this we need this in la that's one of the best ones i've heard yeah for sure we wouldn't i mean it wouldn't help us because we don't oh yeah it would help me in cars actually

it would have helped us last week and there was a murder on the 405 really and some of the crew got stuck on the 405 before one of our youtube shoots how how did they murder down i think with like a gun no like drive like like car to car or like car to car yeah ctc when we were at when we were in college we were driving to jacksonville um for a jaguars game and uh there was like this huge crime scene on the side of i think it was like the the 10 or whatever the route route one whatever goes north south and uh we found out a couple weeks later that it was a biker gang shootout happened like there were two rival biker gangs and one guy fired and hit and hit like this is not funny but like hit like hit the wife of like she was on the

back of his mother's like i had nothing to do with the beef the only casualty just like clipped his wife and then like took jesus oh my gosh did you see this no this was like they were like cleaning it up when we drove by i think falbo was in that when he was it was it was basically imagine like the way i pictured it was like hell's angels verse like another local crew and like they got in a shootout and like all of them were bad at aiming and the only one that got hit was the wife jesus one time oh no you got a follow-up no you got a good story i got when i wasn't there but when when my brother was a kid he was like eight or nine or something my mom like took him to some store and my mom went to use the bathroom she was going number two in the bathroom

and someone held the store at that gunpoint my eight-year-old brother was like had to like a hide behind like a bookshelf and my mom was like here's some shit going on so she's like gotta get it over with quick and then she comes out and by the time she got out like the guy's like taking the Money and left and she's like what happened? They had to explain to her that there was the yeah Wow anyway, there was a there was a gun there was a gun Remember it clearly. I'm sure though. Yeah, I think he does. Oh, yeah still talks about it. Yeah, the only thing he talks about is non-verbal. It's the only thing he remembers.

Oh, that's great. Wow. Okay. All right. Bye. Our third pitch submission for the day is from Braston. Braston.

It's a fake name. No, okay. All right, they're fucking with us. No, no. This is probably someone from that all-time names account I see on Instagram. Braston.

B-H-R-A-H-S-T-E-N. Wait, wait, spell it again? B-H-R-A-H-S-T-E-N. B-H? B-H-R-A-H? Could be an accurate... Big hat. Big hat, really hot, super tough.

Oh, no. All right, you learn a new name every day. Listing it out right there. All right, Braston. He says, hey, guys, I got a pitch for the pod. Are you at a friend's house? Wait, are you ever at a friend's house and they don't give you a good blanket? Yes.

Or on a road trip and want to get comfy in the car? the infinity blanket is what you need the infinity blanket is a small little blanket that can fit in your pocket and you can take anywhere on the go with our patent pending technology you put your height and weight into an app and it will expand and become the perfect perfect fit for you the blanket comes in a variety of colors and also is available in wool fleece or quilt be comfortable outside of the house with the infinity blanket i love this is quilt a material i thought i thought quilt was like the was like the way that you made it i did too i thought i think yeah you ever been to the quilt museum is that a real thing yeah and i grew up when i was little in

lancaster pennsylvania and like the amish are big into quilts and downtown there was the quilt museum and that was like the the ongoing threat for like misbehavior it's like if we were gonna go to the water park but then i was crying my mom would be like all right fine we're gonna go to the quilt museum then like no no i'm fine torture yeah uh how many of the pitches just are like did you just throw like physics out the window all of them 87 okay that's good i okay we're high level yeah again we're high level i know there's nothing wrong with it but i'm wondering like what are the parameters if we don't do that then we're just shark tank that's where we feel like we're providing an outlet for for defying the laws of reality there actually aren't any

parameters we've had like pitches of like little guys you can put in your pocket okay well that that one makes sense okay what if you guys you each get like 500 per round and whoever comes out with the best business at the end we like expanded or we like tried to do that once uh-huh and then we just like forget it yeah like it's more just about it's hard to remember what the idea is and like how much cash you got on yeah all right braston i love that one that was great I think, though, I would probably put in the height and weight of someone much larger than me. I was going to say, if it has, if it can go as big as Bob. I don't want it to be exactly the proportions of mine.

Yeah, it's like a morph suit. Yeah. Skin tight. I probably fell to the military. Yeah. Yeah. Guys, we're taking a quick break to tell you that this episode is brought to you by Southern Comfort. Created in 1874 with an innovative blend of stone fruit and spices, Soko Whiskey is the original, ready-for-anything spirit,

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doesn't matter uh it was delicious i was drinking on the rocks had a few it makes it made me feel classy it made me feel like i was getting a warm hug and uh that's the original but then we got the black too which rusty's holding right here yep a suave and complex uh but welcomingly simple simple with a aroma of whiskey and oak a medium body with a sweet whiskey texture and a subtle but firm note of vanilla and caramelized sugar. If you like your sugar, you like your vanilla, you're going to love that. I like to drink it in a tuxedo by myself. For your next pregame watch party throwdown

or whenever you're in the mood to go pinkies out and bottoms up, plan to pick up some SoCo, guys. And at the next time you're at the bar, go ahead and order some SoCo sour shots. They're delicious and guaranteed to keep the party going. Guys, let's get back into the episode. Pitch us, Bretta. Okay. I'm very excited for this.

Okay, Beluga Bars. Yep. This is a bar of soap that's seven times larger than a normal bar of soap, so you only have to use it once a week. That is just, I mean, that's high level. It's high level. It's simple. You don't have to fight a lot of physics like some of these.

Yeah, well, it is a little derivative of my idea of a 24-hour podcast, so we'd have clips for the whole year. Well, didn't you also say on Sunday you brush your teeth 14 times so you don't have to brush them once? Yep. That's pretty genius. Yeah. To be fair, I pitched this idea to Willie a while ago,

and that's why he said, you've got this stuff. I want you on the pod. I want you to show what you're made of. Yes. And that's how we're here today. So I earned my spot here. Yeah. Thanks, guy.

I know. I know. Thanks, guy. All right, Willie, pitch us. Willie. Hey-oh, Willie Deist, my turn. the master i'm actually pretty bummed that you gotta you gotta follow beluga bars but i know you got it uh okay i have the reversible painting think about it we we all like a nice painting on

our wall but sometimes you're like i'm a little bored of that one so it's art that's made by like a real professional artist it's pretty but there's just two options there's one on the back so you hang it up and then if you're like all right i'm gonna switch it up this week you just flip it around and uh yeah you can change the paintings a bunch i love it i like that so people think you're constantly buying new art too it's like a status thing i think of all the different combinations yeah right it's like one side happy one side sad yeah one's like a tree and one's like a bush bush a bush part a party could like a party scene like a bunch of uh could you do murals can you expand the business yeah and then you click a button and the wall flips yeah and there's

like a dungeon on the other side yeah yeah but it's it's a reverse what is he doing he's just making a little i know we haven't addressed the elephant in the room we haven't addressed the dog in the room this is wally you are very healthy very handsome this is walnut little man um i love it no we introduced will oh you know i've always wanted to storm out of a podcast it would have been the perfect time all right i got memories for spotify so every day it'll say one year ago today and it makes a playlist of all the songs that you listened to a year ago i like and you can see you can see what kind of vibe you were on yeah that would bum me out i've been listening to the same music for five years yeah i just you have like oh more elliot smith i'm just

rotting what do you listen to actually i don't know if i know what kind of listen to i actually listen to everything the only thing i don't really listen to is electronic yeah yeah yeah where are you not that i don't like it i just prefer it in person at like a concert what uh Do you do Spotify? I have Spotify. What was your top artist last year? Ozzy Osbourne, Black Sabbath. Wow.

That's crazy. I would not have guessed that. I didn't have that on my mind. Well, my parents loved, and my older brother loved rock music, so Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath and Pink Floyd, they were playing all the time. That's cool. Yeah, it is pretty cool.

And while I was choking, can you put him outside? He looks so cute. Choking's really loud. Choking? He's choking so hard. Wait, I don't hear anything. Yeah, he hit a little. Can we not?

We can't talk about it. I was trying to get us on. We'll put him outside. He's trying to get out of this. I can't. All right, Will, hit us. All right, I have. Well, oh.

Let's see, you just went. I can just head out. Oh, did you not go yet? No. I did Beluga Bars. Oh, did you go? Yeah. Spotify.

Will, not everything's about you. We have the same name, Korm. I know. Korm. Like. Sporn. Sporn. We could go by.

We could come up with new names right now. i guess okay you can be crammed no i just need to say okay i wanted to be chad all right you be chas i'll be frosty that's awesome wait how about this you're x-ray and i'm bangkok what were our crambly suds what were our names that joe gave us is who gave us in the like you know the dino and rap no no i gave you that what was mine i think mine was actually oh yeah it was x-ray and smith or something there's no way you were x-ray sauce no i was x-ray i'm pretty sure me and liam or digit and decimal no this was a dino and raptor thing i know yeah we have we have alter egos wait who's who i don't even know fake ass fan well i'm wrapped i've tried to figure it out

i don't know that you're you're you're dino i'm dino i believe so all right pitch us okay do you still do those a mic what do what no they were to please they were to please the masses yeah the higher ups yes the suits our mom our mom okay i don't have a name for it it's a microwave that's also a time machine but you have to be inside it it's a microwave it's a microwave that's also a time machine but you have to be inside of it yeah so you got to fit in it you got to be inside When you want to teleport And the microwave turns on I don't get it at all

You gotta You gotta get really hot Before you can Yeah so you can't go very far Cause then you'll It's like You see what I'm saying Oh

It actually microwaves you Yeah there's a drawback So it comes What would that be like Being inside a microwave You would You would literally Your blood would start to boil

First And then you would die You could time travel though I'd be so angry Well you'd also You'd also get cancer And die Oh

Okay now Poofer here's my other one this is good this is fidget wait wait what what the fuck we even order well that was a freebie throwaway oh freebie throwaway yeah that was a freebie anyone can do that because that's not very fleshed out yeah yeah okay this is fidget furniture okay now we get the guy who made fidget cubes yeah fidget uh spinners um there's standing desk right now there's anti-fatigue mats uh mats you know you like stand anti-fatigue it's like really you shift your weight on it and it's like good for your posture and stuff okay this is all fidget stuff so we upgrade to the

workspace and the first it's a family of products the first line of products would be you know those little like uh those little things babies jump around them where they can walk and they're on wheels yeah yeah basically the first one we do is that it's but it's a desk it has all your shit on and you basically can like roll around and like there's little toys on it that you can play with and, like, you can take your desk anywhere. My sister went down the stairs and knocked her two front teeth out in one of those. Really?

Yeah. When? When she was, like, a baby. I guess, yeah, that's pretty dangerous to have upstairs. Yeah. Another one would be, like, a giant hamster ball. Okay. Good to get around in the office.

Yeah. It'd be fun. I love those. Yeah. I feel like even just, like, a couch that has, like, little gimme's. Yeah. Well, they already do fidget furniture. This is the fidget office space kind of.

Who does fidget furniture? The company. your company yeah oh they already do fidget furniture they do couches and like okay so this is the second wave of product i'm letting you guys in on a new branch of the company got we don't need you've already made up the first part furniture we're already doing pretty good yeah we're already doing pretty good okay our market cap is like two two b's i think that yeah the money guy said that's pretty wow so fidget furniture i love it all right willie tell me something all right ready this is a first in the history of our pitches no i'm pitching a piece of

legislation nice that does not seems like well whatever okay ready we introduce congress listen up it's called the universal sock act and think about you know how they always have that they always try to come up like cool like acronyms or stuff to like brand so it's usa so i'm gonna be Like USA, USA, Universal Sock Act. And it's just a law that standardizes the sock. We'll pick one color, one shape, and every sock has to be like that so that you don't have to worry about matching or losing them or accidentally grabbing your roommates.

It's fine. We are all on the same page with socks. Because I can't find matches to my socks almost every day, and it drives me nuts. They're not matching right now. Yeah, I have a Nike and an Adidas right now. An Adidas? yeah exactly and a nike on the other one um here's here's what i love about it it's kind of like uh

it's kind of like your friends that go to private school that have a uniform yeah and they say it just streams streamlines their morning because they just wake up and they have to wear they had to wear like the same shirt pants shoes every day he went to private school did you have to do that i had to wear a uniform yep sister shin yes indeed yes well one of the one of my like best buddies from school was a freshman when angus was like you know probably like a sophomore in college but i guess i'd like heard stories about him and it was like you were like a he talks about he talks about you like a fair amount you've heard stories i guess you were just like a legend that's our school was like a blip on the map we weren't even in the dallas uh social yeah he said there

were 50 hemisphere he said when he went there there were 50 kids oh there's 40 kids a grade We didn't talk to anyone. No, he went there, though. He went to your school. Oh, I thought you were saying, oh, I'm the Jesuit guy. No, no, no, no, no. This is a kid that went to Cistercian. You know him.

Max? Yeah. Did you ever do something crazy? No. I did, um, no. Nothing? Did you, like, vape in the bathroom or anything? No, we didn't do anything.

Like, it's the most boring environment you could create in a lab. Yeah. High school I went to. Yeah. Wait, Will, how south is Dallas? Why don't you have, like, an accent? Dallas is a big melting pot. I'm from South Carolina.

You never asked me that. Well, that, in my brain, I don't know, Texas to me, I feel like everyone would have accents. Yeah, you know, Dallas, not really. It's like, it really is like a city that kind of has its own. It doesn't really feel like the south. It just feels like any ordinary city just planted in Texas. Until you go outside.

don't even get the heating don't get me started well the podcast will go three hours all right also i'm i'm this is something i've been thinking about accents are on the way out i was just talking about someone like yeah the way we're all like interconnected now through the internet and stuff and like you're consuming you're constantly hearing voices that are not from where you're from i think it's just wiping out accents like this is what like liam doesn't have boston accent liam says and i couldn't agree with him more in in 200 years we're all going to be filled with microplastics we're all going to be trans we're all going to sound the same think about it you heard it here first you heard it here first

all right write that down my next business pitch is friendle so each morning it picks a new person in your life so like if i guessed will denellan it would tell me if the person if the real person is taller or shorter uh uh it's like closer or further to me yeah it's wordle for friends got it and uh and like funny or less funny there's all these different categories and i have six guesses to guess which person it is got it i love that yeah you have to go when you like started you have to input all of your friends it just knows oh it knows that's perfect yeah it just knows all your maybe it's connected to like facebook or instagram or something yeah but like i wanted it to be random kids that you went to high school with where you'd be like

Randy Waterman yeah is that a real person I went to middle school with him he used to he's a great name you see cheese

and ketchup he was like one of those kids that would like do stuff to get like do outlandish things so that you would point it out

yeah and be like Randy what the heck are you fucking doing over there like say he saw a portal open on the way to work

what wait what did you say is this lore I don't know I didn't I didn't even hear I was Jason did the other day

oh yeah Jason was on the highway and was like it was like it's the entrance to hell and the video is just a normal it was the first time i was like jason has schizophrenia because it was it was a normal video of this guy no i think he's just doing what randy waterman did yeah well he'll also he'll also stand and do a thing until you he came in and he came into skylar's office the other day and did something in skylar started chanting jason's doing a thing jason's doing a thing and he got he got so mad what what was he doing he

came in skyler was standing in his own doorway facing me talking to that chair in the corner and he came up and was like you got a little ting on your fucking pants and like started like playing with scott his pants and skyler turned around and started doing that too and jason got so mad um he started a little chant it was it was it was the first it felt like it felt like i was watching like high school bullying for the first time in like years it really upset bring it back Bring it into the workplace Alright, you got a third pitch, Will? Dude, he feels

Is he like dying? I think so Do you hear him, Mark? Oh, I kind of do Okay, smoky Sticks Nice, I like it already It's called cigarettes, dude

It's a new type of cigarette to help you quit vaping I like it What's different about it? um it's it's got cool names mango darts or heaters no flavors okay stinks it stinks real bad it's like free cologne um that's awesome yeah uh no more boring white teeth that's you get a new color uh and what are they going to be like heavily regulated by the government or it's like they're in the back pockets of our legislators?

We have nothing to do with the government. These legally can't be sold through sanctioned stores. Okay. Okay, and also, here's the thing. We also sell a vape to help you quit smoking. We're selling weapons to both sides of this war. Yeah, I like it. I like it a lot.

And we're just going to put them in a blender and just squeeze as much money out of them as we can. I like that. Sell that to the military. No. Smokey sticks? Smoky sticks. Nice.

All right, what do you got, Willie? We got the gradual fridge, okay? Think about it. Every fridge you see, it's like a fridge, freezer. It's two compartments, right? Well, this one... What? This one, instead of make it so binary,

it's just one big opening. On one side, it's like light fridge, and on one side, it's like heavy freeze. And you can kind of decide where to align things in there. Because, like, your drinks, maybe you don't want as cold that say something else you have in the fridge. And so you can kind of choose exactly how cold you want that thing to be.

That's such a good idea. Yeah. I know. What does the opening look like? It's like a giant drawer. Yeah, it's just like a fridge. What if it's a giant... It's just a fridge, but it's all one...

A giant stone door you have to roll to the side. Like Jesus's... What? Like the circa... What the fuck? It's like trying to help. Trying to help improve the idea. Why would it be a gradual fridge

With a stone door That's a good point That's a really good point Do fridges like that exist No I just made it up No not like that With big stone doors It could be the first

Why would that ever exist I don't know it sounds cool It's like a room Like a wine cellar but it's a fridge That's just a walk in Alright I got the dog I haven't really named it yet but it's like the dog chairlift, right?

So each morning there's, like, your neighborhood has it installed. Everyone pitches in. It's like a giant cable that runs, like, around your neighborhood, and each morning a fake man that's, like, propped up on the thing shows up at your door. You hook your dog's leash to it, and it takes him on, like, an hour-long walk. That's great. And then it just comes back to your door, and you unhook him.

I like that a lot. And he looks real enough that your dog, like, is excited to see him. That's awesome. Yeah. That is a really good idea. thank you that's really something special can he maybe he gives he can give treats he can give treats and he like he it has a sensor so like when your dog stops to do something he'll stop as well that's awesome but there are other dogs they have different they have different people there

there there's different men there's different men on the cable right but like i don't i haven't figured it out yet so we're high level high level high level i want to invest you're allowed to ask It's the right quest. I feel like I'm probing too much. I will figure that out later. Again, Will and I are very high-level guys. We have, you know, mechanics. Not mechanics.

Engineers. We have mechanics. You have a team of engineers. We have a team of mechanics. We got the guy from NASA. We have all mechanics. All right. Will, you're the guest.

Do you want to do Ben and Jerry's first or Sang's first? Ben and Jerry's. Let's do it. Start us off, man. All right. These are Ben and Jerry's flavors that don't exist. Yes. Okay.

Wait. Or should we do the other thing we've been doing these days where we don't say that? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Angus, what are some of your favorite Ben and Jerry's flavors? Wait. Just answer. I love.

You just pretend like it's real. Yeah. Okay. So we're not doing a draft. No, we are. We are. You do one. Will does one.

I do one. we found the clips of doing well when we when we make it when we don't say that don't exist at the beginning we mine are too obvious they don't exist okay start over yeah well what are some of your favorite ben and jerry's flavors okay well my all-time favorite for me personally is nerf and nut uh it tastes just like a big chunk out of a nerf football when you were a kid take a big bite out of it i love it with a little some nuts sprinkled that is one of my favorites I really like that. It's a good flavor.

It is a good flavor. I couldn't agree more. I really like Neapolitan Complex. It's just Neapolitan. Yeah. But it's short and nice. It's really good. It's like one of the better ones there are.

Yeah. Which is why it's two. Which is why it's number... That one's good, but I don't think it holds a candle to Caramel Gibson. I like that. Yeah, it's Mel Gibson's personal flavor, and it is just heavy on the caramel. Wow, yeah. What was that one you were saying you like?

Oh, well, you know how Ben & Jerry's started selling weed in their ice cream? There's a Ben & Jerry's store on the boardwalk. Yeah. Well, do you hear what they're doing now? No. The Ben & Jerry's Eye of the Storm. Right. It's a hint of chocolate, a little bit of strawberry, 50 milligrams of LSD,

three milligrams of psilocybin four liters of concentrated jankum it's pretty good each bite takes you closer to the abyss that's awesome you're right because when you get it this is the eye of the storm yeah this is the best you're gonna feel the rest of your life before you take a bite oh it's like while you're eating it that's the eye of the storm yeah yeah i love that it's a good it i don't love the taste because i feel like the jankum the jankum is pretty overpowering It feels like a lot of Jankum. It feels like it was mostly Jankum. Also, based on the amounts you said.

Concentrated Jankum is just a- It's two liter. It's Jankum concentrate. Yeah. Yep. All right. Have you guys seen their new cake batter ice cream? No.

No. What is it? This is like a good one. This is a good one. It's called Swing Batter Batter. Nice. And it's like baseball themed. That's really good, actually.

Lovely. Yeah, that one's- That's really good. That one's like, should exist. Yeah. Swing Batter Batter. We know how Ben & Jerry's is big for people going through breakups. They just came up with one called You Smashed My Heart Into Reese's.

I like that. It's really good. It is a Reese's-based flavor specifically for someone who just got their heart broken. That's awesome. What do you like, Angus? I really like what they were trying to do with this, but it kind of came across like the Kendall Jenner Pepsi commercial. Yeah. Have you seen their new flavor?

it's like the um palestine hamas flavor it's like split right down the middle but here's the kicker both sides taste the same wait palestine and hamas israel and hamas sorry both sides taste the same yeah yeah they're both really bitter across canada in a volvo destination vancouver turn left to leave Travel west through Approaching Continue toward You've arrived Adventure in comfort with Volvo

Whether you prefer gas, plug-in hybrid, or fully electric There's a Volvo for everyone Learn more at volvocars.ca That was good yeah i like um they partner with snooki from jersey shore for the snookis and cream she's doing great yeah she's looking good too yeah so it's just snookis and cream it's that's it it's all i got i just had the name yeah i i think it's cool they're branching out into cereal flavors with their new doing tricks on it um it's it's uh tricks and that's kind of it

It's just vanilla and Trix. That sounds good, actually. Yeah, I like their line of Pepto-flavored ones so that you can enjoy it without having your tummy hurt. Pepto-Nem teamed up. Yeah. Pretty good. Is there a name for it?

Pepto-Nem. Pepto-Nem? Pepto-Nem. Pepto-Nem. Peppermint Bismol. Bismol. Bismol. Pepto-Mint.

Pepto-Mint. There you go. There you go. Pepto-Mint. I did awesome. You did. I was so nervous. My heart's racing.

Have you had the Banana Santana? I don't think I have. They partnered with Santana. Nice. I feel like that's something they'd actually do. Yeah. Well, they did. They did do it.

Yeah. Wait. Santana? The band? It's... Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Didn't ring a bell. Yeah, well, you're not very into music.

Uh-oh. Not very good. Uh-oh. Well, you guys know how there's, like, rum raisin flavors? This is the espresso martini flavor. I think that that would be really good if it was an espresso martini flavor that also got you a little buzz going. What's it called? It's just called espresso martini.

Okay. All right, yeah. well you know i like their new flavor it's not it's not getting a lot of good reviews but the chunky chunky chocolate chicken pot pie it's actually pretty good i watched you take like a deep breath before delivering that that's great that sounds so fucking gross horrible chocolate chicken pot pie chunky chunky chocolate chicken pot pie oh god it's a mouthful with that even outside ice cream just a chocolate chicken pot pie well they leave the bones are in there it's like finding a toy oh my god oh what do you all right my last one that i really love is um the

ucla i guess when they made one they with ucla called mint chocolate chip kelly i ran i only had four right before we were about to start they're all just puns on someone's name That's what they fucking do. I know it is. Will, I can give you one. You can use Clint chocolate chip. It's the Clint Eastwood. Oh.

My favorite one is, it's based off of the YouTube phenomenon, Charlie butt her finger. Oh. Yeah. That's. And, yeah, it's got a kick to it. But it's good. Have you seen that, Charlie bit my finger?

Of course. I feel like Lauren would be the one person that would listen. How have I? We should get the guy from that on here. I bet he's 45. He passed away. Really? Phenomenal.

From his hand. He couldn't handle the fame. No. What's he doing now? I have a couple freebies. Yeah, lay them out there. These are just not part of it. Oh, Harry Davey's car.

He's in prison for aggravated assault. On the girl in the video. Here's the question. Here's the question. who's more famous charlie or the person who got their finger bit which one's charlie the finger the guy who bit the finger got their finger bit oh there's an nft oh i don't care anymore to be auctioned off on nft all right they took the youtube video down to sell it as an nft that's what she said that's brutal um a wicker chair that's been out in the sun for six years

that's the flavor that's the flavor all right that's all i had okay wow that was the last one Hey, it's a freebie. Beggar can't be choosers. It's a freebie. How we doing, guys? I want to take a second to talk about Mugsy jeans. I'm not wearing them. I'm not wearing them because I'm going to do some exercise after this.

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that's 20 back on the only jeans and pants you will ever wear again free shipping and free returns on every single order so the only risk is never knowing how great they truly are let's get back into the episode all right should we do sayings that don't exist yeah all right these are more sayings that don't exist angus start us off okay these are tough to come up with i'll say that right now do you ever come up with sayings we ask her too and she just said no she just she just said no i'm shedding my winter coat so this is essentially when you get fixated on something for a couple weeks like you get a new hobby but you know you're gonna abandon it soon like if you buy a bunch of legos or you get into uh you get into like um crocheting um it's

basically you telling your friends like yeah i'm doing this thing right now i'm just shedding my winter coat because you know it's eventually going to be gone it's messy yeah it's ruining everyone's wait shedding the winter coat when it's ending that's like right now i'm in the process Oh, I see what you're saying. I'm shedding it. That's so funny. I'm actually crocheting a blanket right now. I saw that.

It looks so good. And I have so many Legos I'm inundated. It looks so soft. I'm very proud of myself. Can Will and I commission you to make a playdate one? Sure. Yeah. I would do a hat or an oven mitt.

Ooh. Well, that seems a little complex. Why are those the two options? It's going to take me a bit longer. I would do a hat or an oven mitt. All right, Will, what do you got? All right, I've got he'd pay a ticket before he paid the meter. it's a way to describe someone who operates very reactively and it doesn't seem to ever be

proactive yep that's really good that is good i got falling up the stairs um it's like that person who it seems like no matter how many mistakes they make they're still seeing success and they like don't have to pay uh the pied piper yeah yep krandis okay this one is um i actually don't have a definition for it or whatever you say. This one is just, you can't get Squirtle and Bulbasaur. Yeah, you have to pick one.

You gotta pick one. They're both gonna be good. You gotta live with the decision you made. Is that true? Can you only have one? Well, you'll get three starter Pokemon unless you, like, robbed Oak at gunpoint or something, right? Or you traded with your friend. But then you have to get the cord. What the heck? It's like a trillion dollars.

It's made of, like, cobalt. You have to mine it yourself. Q-Bone. Do it, maybe. Yeah, so it's just you've got to live with your choices and trust that they're going to turn out great. Yeah, I like that. All right, I've got tie your shoes before you start running.

Nice. Get your things in order before you go for it. You know, don't be so eager. That's actually a very good one. This is a good one. Don't hurt yourself. Yeah. Don't be eager.

You can't win on the first hole. I think sometimes people will start celebrating one win and lose sight of the larger goal. You have to be consistent if you want to reach your goal. Like a golf. Yeah, I was referencing. You've won the battle, not the war. Yes, yes.

That's good. Whoa. I guess you could also say you can't, I think the flip side of it is you can't lose on the first hole too, so don't get discouraged if something goes wrong in the beginning. You have a lot of time to make up for it. I like that. um this one okay cows only give milk when they're pregnant

so this one is what was that noise this is the sensation of this is like what you say when someone has the sensation of realizing something obvious that was like an insignificant fact like for example like i always thought cows were just like constantly oozing milk but like it just makes sense they can only give milk when they're pregnant it's just something I didn't think about

they have to be physically pregnant they have to be pregnant to give milk so all the milk we come get I just thought cows were just always

leaking milk I kind of did until right now Will and I went to a cow farm and they didn't even tell us that yeah we couldn't

focus on anything we went to a cow farm and they were just pissing and shitting and it was so funny do you remember that sorry we were at this cow farm

the lady's like giving like so like these cows like in the winter time we bring them in here and there's just one right next to my head that's just unloading his gas tank on me.

Anyway, sorry. Oh, sorry, continue. Well, okay, the last thing I'll say. So the way you would use that phrase is like, if I was talking to you and you were like, oh, yeah, I guess I never really thought about how puffer fish are filled with water, not air. Yeah.

Then I'd say, yeah, cows only give milk when they're pregnant. I like that. Yeah, I like how you also dropped the puffer thing is a good one. That one I just learned within the year, and it blew my mind. Which makes so much sense Where the fuck they've gotten that I was only mingling with my partner Are you serious?

You're one of my good friends Where's my fedora? You're fun man Seriously you're a good guy Alright go on Alright I've got Don't pull the goalie And call it a power play

Don't be reckless You want to get something done And you're ambitious but if you do something too reckless, you're going to leave yourself vulnerable. Yeah, that's really good. Yeah, just be patient. All of yours sound like they should already exist.

That's kind of a common theme with Will's. His are really good, constantly. I'm like the Michelangelo. I'm like the Gordon Ramsay of sayings. You're like the Joe Biden of sayings. I'm like the Biden of sayings, yeah. I'm like the Kamala Harris of sayings No, I'm the Kamala Harris

I'm near the guy who's the best at it Yeah, and you're like Anthony Blinken Yes, oh that guy That bastard You're the Anthony Weiner of sayings You're the Carlos Danger of sayings Yeah, I'm the Hunter Biden of sayings

Did I tell you guys I made my Uber Eats account Hunter Biden? I just Like, you never, I never, I always do leave at the door, so I never see them. But, like, I'd like to think. Are you worried they're going to, like, some guy's going to, like, spit in your food? I never thought about it. Like, Amphrax?

That'd be hysterical if I died because someone poisoned me. Yeah. All right, I got speeding in a school zone. It's your, it would be, you're doing something that would already be bad, but given the circumstances, it's even worse. Yeah. Example would be, like, you're day drinking during the week, but you're also at, like, your sister's recital. like dude you're speeding in a school zone right yeah you're you shouldn't do that fun fact that's how i failed my first driver's test you're really no it wasn't drunk i was at my sister's recital

no i sped in a school zone oh pretty tough look yeah that is tough instant fail yeah as it turns out okay this is um vinyl ain't dead or like vinyl ain't dead it's uh just like two options how to say it something that should be obsolete but it's thriving due to like emotional attachment like yeah cds and cassettes all came after vinyl but no one uses those they're coming back though that well finally finally dead finally dead there we go it already worked it already worked in or like i guess i don't know what else would work like i guess like maybe like plays yeah we have we have movies now yeah but like you know it just feels like there's just improved versions something has like a series of improved versions but it's still around but you're yeah yeah is it

making sense yeah i make an old car or something there you go or flying an old plane biking biking an old bike eating like you find something in your fridge it's really old yeah and you eat it So you get it. It's like, why are you eating that? The thing's way expired. You're like, vinyl ain't dead. You just slurp the yogurt down. Oh, God.

Ew. All right, Will. All right, I've got... He turned left on red because he didn't see a sign. It's like when someone's being... Wait, wait, wait. This one made sense when I... Wait.

This one's exponentially longer. I'm so confused now. He turned left on red because he didn't see a sign. It's like when someone has a terrible excuse for doing something really negligent. Oh, I see. He's like, what do you mean? I didn't know. It's like, what?

You never told me I couldn't. Maybe it's like, would you turn left on red if you didn't see a sign? Maybe it's like a rhetorical question. Oh, yeah. That might be better. That could work. Yeah. I'm sorry about that.

No, it's really good. I got blundered. That's awesome. My mind got blundered. And you said it really confident, too. At first. Yeah. Then you got a little nervous.

You came in hot. Yeah. would you turn left on red if you didn't see us if would you would you turn would you turn left on red because you didn't see a sign yeah it's like uh it's like oh i think it's i think it's a good thing for moms to use in their kids where they'd be like you didn't say i couldn't i couldn't eat all eat all the yes tricks you can before dinner and she's like would you would you turn left on red if you couldn't see a sign just because i told you can't have all those tricks before dinner doesn't mean you can't do it some loophole yeah yes all right i got wiping without

looking it's uh you're trying to fix the situation but you're not uh you're not checking to see if any progress is that you're just going through the motions yeah that's without actually you know seeing if you're doing anything good i like that yeah yeah thanks because sometimes you only need like two wipes sometimes you need a hundred dude the other day lauren you're this is gross you might want to cover your ears cover your ears i swear to god i wiped for 30 minutes it just wasn't It was like I was wiping a Sharpie, and I had to wait for it to, like, dry out. Yeah. Okay.

I don't even think the listeners want to hear that. Sorry, guys. That was my bad. Dry erase. All right. Why is it called dry erase marker? It's like, show me a wet erase marker. Yes.

Yes! I don't... Why does that get snaps? All right, Angus, tell us one. Snapping a big part of this pod. No, we've only done it twice in history, and they've both been with you. I kind of like it. Yeah, it's awesome.

I like it. I'm giving someone their flowers. It feels like, you know what I mean? Whoa. I think that already exists. Hello. What the hell? I just came up with that.

You spend enough time around the goblins, you become a ghoul. You spend enough time around the wheel, you invent a plane. i literally can come up with them on this you should get your own podcast i have one more i have one more and it sucks okay okay it was a backup yeah um the matrix the matrix flopped when it came out yeah oh that one's not bad no one liked it is that true yeah and now it's a legendary movie that's crazy is that real no one got it it's like it's similar to like uh i've never seen it like van gogh wasn't appreciated in his day correct it's true yeah but i don't think that that's a saying or emily dickinson i believe uh yeah i don't know was she the one

they like found all of her work and her she like died and they found it all in her house she wasn't publishing it i think it was that's pretty it might not be emily dickinson it was someone though where like she died and very famous like i think that's gonna be this podcast yeah that's gonna be will and i are both gonna die and then someone like 100 years from now i was gonna be like you guys heard about this fucking place they have the technology to make all our stuff we're gonna be like the greatest inventors of history that's awesome um all right what do you got willie what's your final all right okay i'd rather have my cleats on and never play than take one snap in my loafers nice it's better to be prepared than to and you know be over

prepared than it is to get caught off guard that's something your dad would say like better to have it not need it yeah yeah better have your cleats on and never play and take one snap in these low that's really good thank you my really good my last one's really bad and i apologize in advance good man hey deep breath babysitting a cat it's something that it like anyone could do it requires zero effort it's just like you put in the minimal amount of effort and you'll be successful yeah kind of like babysitting a dog yeah but these require like a little bit of attention Because you're doing that right now. I'm doing that right now.

Like cats, you never see them. All you have to do is like one thing. Just put out food and water. Yeah. One time my friend went out of town and I had to give his cat food every day for a week. Did you forget? No. On the last day I showed up and this cat and I were finally starting to bond.

And I put its food out and then it like jumped on my leg and clawed my leg down. and i instinctively kicked and it flew across the room slammed against the wall and then i i ran away but i it fully pancaked against the wall like i kicked it did you tell your friend what you tell your friend yeah and he was like it's fair my mom was uh my mom was like cuddling with our cat the other day and they were like kind of roughhousing and it she said it she saw his eyes go from like the eyes that she's always seen to like predator eyes and it went and made a perfect x like zorro like on on her on her like where your nose meets your eye she perfect x it was bizarre one time my neighbor johnny bones was i i decided to use a pseudonym an alias but this was a real

person when we were we went out of town we had him bit dogs hit for our dog cookie and he just two weeks or something he never he never went down there did your dog he like ended up like finding food and like eating it and like surviving but he the basement was caked in shit everywhere we got home like the whole house reeked what'd you say to johnny bones um it was just like one of those like what are you he's just like a kid like what are you gonna do yeah but i i mean how old did he apologize was he like was he like i forgot 12 or something what'd he say i don't i don't even know i was i was like a little kid but i just know that it was like yeah it was like oh my god we just did animal abuse on accident poor cookie yeah how's cookie now six feet under yep

i knew that too i don't know why there's on homecoming really yeah he got a stroke and fell on the stairs the night of my brother and sister's homecoming and is that how he met his maker well he was just like he couldn't walk and his eyes were twitching so the next morning we took him i was at owen wallace's for a sleepover because it was like homecoming they were doing pictures and stuff of the house my parents like sent me out and then my dad came in the morning and he was like hey uh we gotta go put cookie down and my brother was so hungover that he wouldn't get out of bed i remember my that's that's sad all around it's a wicked nightmare story yeah sad all around my golden retriever when we were kids i was like it's like one of my first memories

it was on the bed when you walked in the house my mom was like trying to get us to say goodbye to it yeah and i remember she was like everyone everyone say goodbye to addy we like didn't get it and i was like no i'm gonna go watch tv and left and that was the last time i saw the dog and i remember like it kept popping in my head the other day and be like oh that's so bad yeah it's fucked up i was like seven and i don't think they i don't think they did a great job explaining that that was the last mistakes they were like say goodbye to addy and i was like i'll see you later like no i'm it's probably for the best we watch the sponge all right i've got one more story to tell okay i thought of a story the other day it came up and i was like this actually might be my best

story of all time so i thought i'd share with you guys in 2018 or 2019 i my freshman year college i met a girl my first girlfriend we were dating we've been dating for a year at that point i went out and visited her family in northern california like san francisco yeah and they decided to bring me to a giants game san francisco giants game i go to the giants game i get there we're waiting like we go to where our section is and like you know how they don't let you down unless there's like an out yeah like sometimes like you're just kind of waiting at the top of the stairs yeah so i'm standing there waiting and the guy in front of me turns around just starts looking at me i'm like what the what's this guy's deal realize it's my uncle mike like my very close uncle like my

mom's brother who like is you know big part of my life he lives in phoenix arizona i live in south carolina we didn't coordinate this at all and we're like no way like what are you doing here he's like oh i'm in town for work i just bought a ticket 20 minutes ago we're like that's crazy he's like oh are you sitting in the section he's like yeah let's see if we're close maybe we can move around our seats are there's one guy in between us wow same row i'm six and he's eight yeah and uh what are the odds we're wearing also also we're wearing the same hat we had both gone to the pro shop on our way and bought the same hat that part is that part is less impressive to me the the odds of you guys being one seat away from each other is like astronomical that's crazy

insane and like my girlfriend's family i think thought i was getting like like human trafficked or something where he was like oh hey will or something and i was like uncle mike and like uh yeah so we switched with the guy that was in between us and we just hung out the whole game and it was it was the craziest thing that's ever happened i mean that's yeah yep that is pretty crazy i wanted to tell that story that's the coolest thing that's ever happened the matrix flop the day it came out are you telling me that story was a flop no i'm saying part of that like the it's a callback to this yeah i mean will i love you i'm just gonna say that would have been it would have been a better story if you didn't preface it by saying this is

the greatest story ever i was expecting uncle mike to like get in a shootout with like a pirate yeah i thought he was gonna kill a guy yeah i'm sorry i had i mean that's such a crazy story that lauren's crying the story i made up in my head wasn't the one you had what's like what's like a close uncle a friend of yours a close uncle friend my uncle friend uh uncle eric and uncle eric imagine we're in Kansas City for work, we go to a baseball game and Uncle Eric's two seats down from you. And you didn't even know he was in Kansas City.

Yeah, I'd be like, Eric? That'd be insane. Can you do one for me? Okay, imagine you have an uncle. Do you have an uncle? Yeah. What's an uncle that you're pretty close with? Corbulus. Okay, imagine you go to a Toronto Argonauts game, CFL, Grey Cup Finals,

and you're two seats down from Uncle Corbulus. Now I get it. And you're wearing the San Francisco Giants hat. that's a crazy story no it is crazy that'd be pretty crazy i have pictures of here put the picture me and uncle mike at the game we're in the same hat and i am that guy and i have a and i have a picture of the tickets to prove that they were that close to each other this isn't this has nothing to do with anything but it just reminded me of when angus said that did you guys ever see that guy who was on trial for murder and like they happened to be filming and uh

that larry david like larry david happened to be filming at a game yes and he's in the background with his daughter and that was his only alibi and he got off because this camera happened to catch him in the back of your enthusiasm yeah yeah they found like unused footage from the yeah it's fucking insane to get this guy off murder well what do you do if you're if you're on trial for a murder that you don't commit i feel like the entire time like anytime it was my time to talk i would just not be able to control myself and be like i don't know how else to tell like i didn't fucking yeah it's like it seems like they're so calm and composed when they're they've been going through it every day for like three years yeah the trial i still think the

entire time i would just be like i didn't do this i'm also like did that guy at some point was he like oh shit we saw that lair david filming uh let's go contact the studio to his lawyer essentially i think i think he was in jail for like years like well the trial no i just mean like at what point did he like how would they find the unused footage unless i think that's exactly what happened is he was like he was like i don't know how to how to access this footage but like there was a camera crew there that's insane yeah what if there's gotta be saying for that what are you guys gonna do with our day off i'm going hiking work yeah i saw liam this morning him and i were the only two people in here with the cleaning ladies and i go what are you doing

here i guess i'm just grabbing some snacks he came into the office just to get snacks actually smart genius play i've taken many many a beer many a liquor many a snack from the office yeah i take a lot of yeah you're like drinking too much right no that's me no i just i'm just trying to scrub that from my memory because that'll hurt for the rest of my life yeah so i just gotta focus on that well we'll try jan are you really how's that going it's great i gave up i'm gonna see how i saw will i saw will on the first first night of dry january i was at a or second whatever like third third or fourth night first weekend of dry january two hands behind me on the on the bar i turn around it's wild and i'm so excited to see

him i was like i thought you're doing dry january and he was with this girl and he was like now i stopped and i was like why and he was like we're at we're at dinner and this girl ordered a beer so i ordered a beer yep that's how it goes yeah but i think that was like a good reason to break It is a good trip, Ethan. Yeah, you can... Well, I mean, would you turn left on red if there wasn't a sign? All right. You are so fucking baller.

You are so fucking baller, dude. Well, this has just been a blast. I fucking love this guy. Cut. Thank you for coming on, Will. Thanks for having me, guys. I wish my sayings were better. They're hard.

No, yours were good. I definitely wish yours were better. Guys. Really? I was awesome? No, you were great. You promised. Do you want to plug your bird dogs?

Guys, please follow us on the Almost Friday pod. We just had a crossover episode with Lauren. Oh, yeah. Lauren is the producer. We had Willie and Rusty on for a Christmas episode. That was a fun episode. Go listen to that. We got everything you love about this pod.

We got a little bit of that in our pod. So go follow the Almost Friday pod and almostfriday.tv. angus.william and uh I got nothing else to plug have you seen there's an account

on tiktok that's just reposting all your videos I noticed that recently I go okay

yeah I can't do anything about it well guys thank you for tuning in we'll see you guys next Wednesday

and we love you peace