Wiretap - Jacob and Esau

Episode Date: June 22, 2020

A mother is pregnant with twins. She hears the voice of God which tells her that her sons will one day father warring nations. Even while still inside her stomach, they fight hard enough to knock her from one end of the house to the other. Is there any hope of the brothers ever becoming friends?

We're in the midst of the dog days of summer. And it's called that because during this period, Sirius, the dog star, rises with the sun in the morning. Not because it feels like several dogs are breathing their humid breath on you all the time. Can you tell he's a cat person? Hello, I'm Neil Kerkstel. And I'm Chris Houghton. We're the co-hosts of As It Happens.

But throughout the summer, some of our wonderful colleagues will be hosting in our place. We will still be bringing you conversations with people at the center of the day's major news stories here in Canada and throughout the world. You can listen to As It Happens wherever you get your podcasts. This is a CBC podcast. You're listening to Wiretap with Jonathan Goldstein. Today's episode, Jacob and Esau. Jacob's mother touched his cheek.

Do you remember when you were inside me? She asked. I think I remember. A little bit, Jacob said. There was light in there. You do remember, she said. A genius. His mother was always calling him that.

If he drew an X in the sand, it was more perfect than God's creation. Made stew without burning the pot? A hero. When Jacob thought he was remembering, being in Rebecca's belly was something like being underwater. And wherever he swam, there was his twin brother, Issa. Sometimes Jacob even bumped heads with his brother. Esau would grab him and hug him too tightly, making it hard for him to breathe. It was a part of some bigger inside joke, but he couldn't quite remember what it was.

When I was pregnant, I had a dream, Rebecca said, and in this dream, God spoke to me. And even in the dream, I thought, how can this be? God doesn't speak to women. Maybe thou art leaving a message for my husband? You will give birth to twin sons, God said. and each of these twins will father warring nations. Jacob was glad God never bothered trying to get in touch with him. From his grandfather Abraham all the way down the line,

it was always nothing but bad news with that guy. The old women told me that I had a couple of kickers inside me, Rebecca continued, and kickers were healthy. But I told the old women What I have is more than kickers They're trying to kill each other I feared for your lives and for my own When I try to stand still

You and your brother knocked me from one end of the house To the other I would rub my stomach to calm you My babies I would say What is there to fight for You are both as close to the one who loves you as can be But your brother Esau was never satisfied For him, it was not enough to be in me.

He wanted to be a part of me. He wanted to swim in my blood like a tuna. Rebecca scrunched up her face with distaste and leaned into Jacob's ear. Needy, she whispered. You, Jacob, were on the left. I knew this, and when I stroke the left side of my stomach, you became very still. I nicknamed you lefty, which means he who is on the left. I named Esau, Esau, which means he who is hairy.

And when Esau was born, he looked like one of your father's hairy fists. He was cute, Rebecca aloud. But you. Jacob, when they put you on my belly, I just laughed and cried and cried some more. My cheeks were raw from where the old women slapped to calm me down, 100, 200 slaps And still I laughed and cried I was out of my mind with ecstasy

Jacob, I don't know why it was I loved you so A mother's love can be like that As big and mysterious as the ocean at night Jacob looked at his mother Sometimes it felt unnatural to be so close To the source of his own existence To stick around and chat With the person that encircles the abyss

From which you crept out of the infinite it was just sort of awkward. Rebecca beamed at Jacob. I'll never forget the day you were born. She never spoke of it as the day they were born. Back in those days, being the oldest was serious business, and since Issa came out first, everything was to go to him, the birthright, their father's big blessing. But try as he might to feel otherwise, Esau always felt undeserving somehow. But he tried his best to act like he had it all coming to him. It seemed like the thing to do. And so as children, Esau always made sure to introduce Jacob as his baby brother. How can you call me that? Jacob would ask. I came out five minutes after you. Five

lousy minutes. I'm your battering ram, pushing on ahead of you into the future, Esau would say uncertainly. I would tell you what it's like here in the future, but you know I'm not very good with words. And truly, his brother was not good with words, nor was he very good with people. As a child, Esau spent most of his time alone, packing things up his nose, barley, grass, pebbles. It was his hobby. Their father Isaac said that packing things up or picking things out of the nose were signs of a deep thinker, but Rebecca found it revolting. Let me tell you a secret, she said, pulling Jacob to her side and putting her lips to his ear. It is you, I love best.

Jacob, I could have had a hundred of you. He tried to imagine it. A hundred Jacobs all trying to fit into the bathtub at the same time. His mother scrambling from Jacob to Jacob, whispering in each of their ears, I love you more than any other Jacob, she'd say to each one. Every mother has one cane. and one able, Jacob thought. And it isn't easy being either.

Jacob had this memory from when they were children of every child in the neighborhood chasing Esau. They threw rocks and brandished sticks. Jacob was a part of the mob, telling them all the things that only a brother could know. Esau cries like a baby when I sing certain songs. Esau smells his own toes. Esau giggles like a girl in his sleep.

Esau ran through the streets, weeping. It was like he was being chased back into non-existence. During his adolescence, Issa was so hungry for his mother's love that he decided Rebecca might like him more if he wasn't so hairy, so he set about pulling out the hair from his body. During one such hair-pulling session, Jacob walked in on him. Esau stood naked and shaking, fistfuls of hair, claspedfuls of hair, clutched in his hands.

It got so bad that his father Isaac had to have a talk with him. Look at me, Isaac said. I am hairy, and it hasn't kept me from achieving any of my goals. Esau had no idea what his father's goals were. Still, he appreciated the effort. Look, said Isaac, putting his hairy forearm against Issa's hairy forearm. You and I, the same. Rebecca told Jacob that Issa had come out first for no reason

and that she didn't want the big, dumb universe making important decisions for her. But maybe it was God's decision for Issa to come out first, Jacob said. Please, Rebecca said, scrunching up her face. Jacob couldn't help feeling sorry for Rebecca. He knew Isaac couldn't have been an easy man to live with. He was always off to himself, removed, ruminating. You don't come two seconds of being sacrificed by your own father and think it'll end in a big party,

said Rebecca. Little Isaac was broken that day. Rebecca said that when she was young, she was a good dancer, but Isaac never wanted to dance. He waits around to hear from God all day, said Rebecca, and he's afraid it could happen any moment, so he doesn't want to be doing something undignified when it does. He's in and out of the bathroom in five seconds. flat, and he's careful to never get food in his beard. Then she stopped and leaned forward. Don't ever get married, she said, her eyes full of love. A hundred Jacobs unable to look each other

in the eye. A hundred Jacobs sighing so loudly in unison that it shakes the heavens like a lion's roar. As Esau grew older, he grew into his hairy. As Esau grew older, he grew into his hairy He became large and outdoorsy. One night, Esau came in from hunting, dragging behind him carcasses, beaks, and tusks. He found Jacob standing by the stove and mixing a small pot. Pass me a little stew, said Issa. I'm about to drop dead from hunger. It was as Jacob was about to pass his brother some food,

that he remembered the words his mother had spoken earlier that day. They were the same words she'd been speaking to him for weeks. Issa is so stupid, she said, who would be so easy for someone to yank his birthright right out from under him. Jacob pondered his mother's words for a moment and then replied to his brother. I'll give you a big heaping bowl of stew, he said,

in exchange for your birthright. The parchment? For that's what Issa called it. Jacob had seen it around, lying among Issa's underwear or under his bed. "'What do you want with that old thing?' asked Esau. And then he let loose what he believed to be the good, hearty laugh of a man who'd been hunting all day.

It was a laugh that wrapped its hairy arms around Jacob's belly, stuck its fingers into his heart, and tried to pry stuff out. Jacob looked at Esau, his brother's lack love and neediness sweating out of his pores and stinking up the night. "'Find the parchment, and I will feed you,' said Jacob evenly. Esau tramped off to find the crumpled little ball of parchment. Years later, when Jacob recalled the transaction,

he would see in his mind's eye how fast Esau had tramped off. As eager as his brother was to eat that day, he was even more eager to please, to simply be liked. When the brothers were born, Isaac was already an old man, and now, as his sons were becoming young men, his health was beginning to go. He disappeared into himself, lying on his side in bed, the sheet drawn up past his chin. Rebecca said he was afraid of the angels. He saw tiny ones all over the walls, like moths, but with faces. His eyesight was failing him, and aside from the angels, he could

hardly see a thing. Now is the time, Rebecca told Jacob. He hasn't much longer to live. I've sent Esau out to hunt for him. Go to your father now. She had been bugging Jacob with her plan for months. Esau was supposed to get Isaac's big blessing, the one given from the deathbed that goes to the firstborn. But Rebecca had other plans. She thought that if Jacob dressed up in Issa's clothes, he could get the blessing instead of his brother. Jacob tried to talk her out of it. He tried to talk himself out of it. But if Isaac touches me, he said, he'll know I'm not Esau. Please, Rebecca said, we'll stick some goat skin to your arms and neck and stink you up a bit. You'll be fine. Jacob wondered, if you tricked a blessing out of someone, did it

inverse it? After all, the universe's workings have always been more than somewhat ironic. Inside his father's room, it smelt of eucalyptus and sweat. Out of the dark, all he could hear was Esau. Esau. Jacob timidly walked towards his father's bed. He feared that Isaac, so close to heaven, could sense his fear the way animals could. He tried to relax. He tried to relax. This wasn't your idea, he repeated to himself. He was just doing it for her. They sat not saying anything, Isaac's heavy breathing filling the room. The goat hide was scratchy against Jacob's skin. My son, my seed, my life, my joy, said Isaac. Jacob stared into his father's eyes as he spoke and blocked out the sound of the world. After the blessing in the ensuing silence,

His father stared at him with wild eyes that really looked like they could see. His father kept raising his hairy forearm against Jacob's forearm and smiling. You and I, the same, Isaac said. Jacob had no idea what the gesture or the words were supposed to mean. He grabbed his father's forearm with his hand, and making his voice as gravely and outdoorsy as possible, told his father to rest. When Esau got home from the hunt, he saw Jacob in his shawl of goatskin. He started to laugh, but then, with suddenness, he understood.

He ran to his father's side, and Isaac sensed his firstborn son in the room, and then he too understood. Isaac wanted to give Esau some kind of blessing, but his strength was diminishing, and his blessing power, weak. After the passion of the big blessing with Jacob, he was almost completely burned out. Still, he took Issa to his side and gave him everything he had left. Bless thee, bless thee, said Isaac. May thine health be passable, and thine income middling. May they find a bride of so-so looks and mediocre bust. May thine days pass with relative tolerableness.

And so it went. If you're absolutely loving your summer read and don't want the book to be over, your experience doesn't actually have to end when you finish reading. I'm Matea Roach, and on my podcast bookends, I sit down with authors to get the inside scoop behind the books you love. Like, why Emma Donoghue is so fascinated by trains, or how Taylor Jenkins Read feels about being a celebrity author. You can check out bookends with Matea Roach wherever you get your podcasts. Peering through the doorframe, Rebecca saw the look in Issa's eyes and knew he would be out for blood. She told Jacob that he must flee, and Jacob was made nauseous. He was not the fleeing kind. He told Rebecca he wanted to try to talk to Issa, but Rebecca said it

was past all that. Now there is only running, she said. You know how he gets. Rebecca had a brother named Laban, a few towns over in Haran. She told Jacob to go to him. Before he left, his mother hugged him tightly. She looked at his face. You did this to me, Jacob imagined screaming at her. Everything. I love you more than life itself, she said. Ma, please, Jacob said. Why do you have to tell me these things? I just want you to be happy, she wept, her whole body, shaking. As the years passed, Issa could not stop thinking of how his brother had done him wrong, and with that knowledge came the pain. It always started in the groin and twisted its way into his stomach.

Not only had Jacob destroyed his life, but his memory continued to destroy it a little more every day, breaking off a new piece of his soul here and there. That was a true miracle of life, Whenever you thought you'd been completely crushed, there was always a little something left to get creamed. It was one day while sitting on a log indulging his new hobby of twisting his beard until the pain became unbearable, when Issa met a girl from Kanan named Linda. She was into the dark brooding type, and soon she and Issa began dating.

Linda was a good companion, and she took Esau's mind off his troubles. Linda came from a family of idol worshippers, and even after Esau took her for his husband, his wife, Rebecca would only refer to her as the little idol worshipper girl. You know, there's more to her than idol worship, Esau said. He tried to come up with one or two things, how she was really nice to him, how she liked him, but he knew his mother would find all of that stuff corny. And so, Esau saved his breath, realizing finally, that he didn't really care what Rebecca thought anyway.

Meanwhile, in Haran, Jacob's life was no bed of roses. After he fell in love with Laban's youngest daughter, Rachel, he agreed to work for seven years in Laban's service in exchange for Rachel's hand in marriage. Jacob had never loved anyone like he loved Rachel. Sometimes it was a nice feeling, but more often, it terrified him. He'd ask her ten times in a day, You still love me, right? No, I hate you, she'd say, smiling.

She was so young, she didn't know her strength. At night, he dreamt she was a kitten that he chased through caves while crying. It was like there was always the risk of her wandering off, his heart clenched in her teeth. Jacob had only ever known a mother's love. He had never known what it was to have a love that could be lost. And in this way, Jacob was made humble by coming to know what pain really was. He wanted to marry Rachel even if it meant nothing but pain. He would lie on a bed of cactus needles for the rest of his life, if only he could lie beside her.

It was around this time that Jacob heard the voice of God. He heard it in a dream, and, oddly, the voice took the form of Rebecca's imitation of the voice of God. Mom? asked Jacob. Is that you? His mother had been dead several years. It is God, spoke Rebecca's voice. If thou heard my actual voice, even for a half a second, thou would instantly go mad and then be of no use to anyone.

The voice commanded him to go back to Canaan. Jacob thought that maybe he'd misheard. But Issa isn't Canaan, said Jacob. He'll kill me there. Thou knowest how he get. Go and I shall watch over you, said the Lord. So Jacob packed up, and he and Rachel went back to Kanan. For Jacob, it felt a little like going back to your old hometown for a high school reunion,

but a high school reunion where the entire graduating class, as well as the faculty, and even the cleaning staff, was hell-bent on murdering you. Upon his return, Jacob learned that in his absence, his brother had become a very wealthy and powerful man. On the outskirts of town, Jacob sent a messenger to seek Issa out. What do you say? asked Jacob upon the messenger's return.

He shall come with an army of 400. Doesn't that seem a little excessive? asked Jacob. Later that night, unable to sleep, Jacob tried to do the arithmetic. Five meant to torture each finger and nail. Five per toe. Three to pull head hair and three to do beard hair. 14 for Charlie Horses,

10 of the more eloquent men to admonish him for being such a bad brother, but that still left over 300 men with nothing to do but stand around drawing a salary. Jacob's calculations were suddenly interrupted by the sight of an angel. The angel was sitting in a tree just above him. He smiled beatifically.

Then, drawing his wings back like the ears of an angry cat, He jumped down and slapped Jacob across the cheek. The angel's flesh was cool, and Jacob noted his breath smelt of daffodils. After the slap, and without thinking, Jacob reared back and punched the angel in the face. What kind of a person punches an angel, he wondered. He had never heard of anyone even touching an angel. He looked at the angel blood on his fist and felt like a sleaze bag.

But not for long, as suddenly the angel flew up into the air and stomped his foot. onto the top of Jacob's skull. Had all of Esau's murderous rage and hatred come to life in the form of a heavenly wrestling angel? Or maybe Esau decided to just hire the angel instead of the army. As the hours went by, Jacob tried anything to get the angel to leave him be, tickling him, screaming in his face, biting his wings,

but there was no stopping him. When the morning came, the angel had to get back to heaven, but Jacob felt like he had come too far to just back off. and so he gripped the angel's foot. Bless me, demanded Jacob. Still smiling, the angel punched him on the Adam's apple. Do not be a blessing hog at the Lord's troth, said the angel. But Jacob still would not let go.

He wanted at least one normal thing out of the whole experience, something that wasn't embarrassing, to tell people about. All right, I bless thee, said the angel. Thy new blessed name is Israel, or he who referenced. with God. Jacob released his foot and watched the angel flap away into the sky. He wanted nothing more than to get some sleep, but there was no time. Israel had to meet his brother. Hoping to smooth things over, Jacob had his people send forth to his brother a gift. Make it munificent, said Jacob, and his people sent out camels and cattle and sheep.

Esau, as it turned out, was very warmed by the gesture. I received your gifts, said Esau when they met, army in tow. Really munificent. Then Esau fell silent, not knowing what else to say or do. There's one more thing I have for you, said Jacob. He then handed Esau the flattened out piece of parchment. It is really yours, he said. Esau protested, but Jacob, who was still all wrestling

from his match with the angel, started to get physical about it, awkwardly shoving it down his brother's toga. Finally, Issa accepted the gesture and bowed low, and Jacob bowed back, after which there followed a great deal of bowing. It started off sheepishly and slowly, but became more and more heartfelt. In the end, the two of them were practically belly-flopping at each other's feet.

All the while, Issa's army stood around them in a huge circle. Esau introduced his brother to each of the 400 men in his army. Jacob gave up trying to remember their names after the fourth. Everything I told you about this guy, said Issa, his hand on his brother's shoulder. Forget it. He is forgiven. Later in the evening, once the idea of warring was off the table, and they had begun to loosen up, A spread of food was prepared for the brothers and their wives. You've changed, Jacob told his brother.

Your shoulder hair is practically white. He stopped himself not wanting to disrespect him. Like snow cat mountains, I mean. Esau laughed. You seem different too, he said. The angel's thigh punches had given Jacob a slight limp. It helped him to come off as less of a hot shot. Jacob told Issa about how he had fallen in love.

and how it allowed him to know for the first time what it meant to feel pain. And Esau, drawing Linda to his side, told Jacob how falling in love had allowed him for the first time in his life to escape his pain. You know, said Rachel, interrupting the brothers, it's crazy how much you two look like. It's true, said Linda. From just a little ways off, I don't think I'd even be able to tell you both apart. The brothers looked at each other. other, and their faces relaxed. It was like gazing into a clear pond on a bright summer day.

Together they spoke of many things, cattle and the weather, but they did not talk of Rebecca. They did not speak of the hand that had wiped away their tears, how now it was bereft of flesh, how now it wore a bracelet of worms. The past was over, and the future, with its wars and bloodshed, had not yet come. All they had just then was the cool of the evening and the feast that lay before them to be enjoyed, together.

And as they ate and got into the warmth and spirit of their reunion, without thinking, and under Jacob's stunned gaze, Issa pulled out the rumpled birthright parchment and used it to wipe a spot of gravy

from off his chin. Jacob was glad to finally see it do some good. On Wiretap today, you heard Jacob and Esau by Jonathan Goldstein from his book, Ladies and Gentlemen, The Bible. Wiretap is produced by Jonathan Goldstein with Mira Bertwintonic. Special thanks to Carolyn Warren.

For more CBC podcasts, go to cbc.ca.ca slash podcasts.