Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus - Julia Gets Wise with Patti Smith
Episode Date: May 1, 2024On this episode of Wiser Than Me, Julia connects with legendary 77-year-old musician, poet and author Patti Smith. Julia and Patti reflect on the importance of expressing gratitude daily, life-changin...g friendships, and saying goodbye to the people we love through art. Plus, Julia talks to her mom, Judy, about a misleading family truism that ends in a nice little nap.  Follow Wiser Than Me on Instagram and TikTok @wiserthanme and on Facebook at facebook.com/wiserthanmepodcast.  Keep up with Patti Smith @thisispattismith on Instagram.  Find out more about other shows on our network at @lemonadamedia on all social platforms.  Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium.  Maker’s Mark is a proud sponsor of Wiser Than Me. Celebrate the wise women in your life by creating a custom, personalized label from artist Gayle Kabaker today at www.makersmark.com/personalize.  Hairstory is a proud sponsor of Wiser Than Me. Check out their hero product, New Wash, today at Hairstory.com and get 20% off with code WISER.    COVERGIRL is a proud sponsor of Wiser Than Me. Check out their Simply Ageless Skin Perfector Essence. Learn more at covergirl.com. Only from Easy, Breezy, Beautiful COVERGIRL.  For exclusive discount codes and more information about our sponsors, visit https://lemonadamedia.com/sponsors/  For additional resources, information, and a transcript of the episode, visit lemonadamedia.com.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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So I made a friend back when my son Henry was in preschool, this wonderful woman named
Beer Get, like go get the beer.
That used to make her laugh.
She was originally from Austria. She had a fantastic accent and this
rockin' body and blonde hair and a big genuine smile. And she had a way about her that when you
were in her presence, it felt like anything was possible and that, well, everything was going to
be okay, which as you'll see is a little ironic.
As anyone who is a parent knows when your children are preschoolers and kindergartners you must accompany them on their play dates.
I mean I guess there's some parents who don't feel like that but I always went on play dates with my kids when they were little.
Which meant that I had to make conversation with the other kids's mom or dad for like three hours. And this
could be, and frankly, generally was excruciating. I mean, like mind numbingly dull. And this was the
truth for me until I met Birgit. Play dates with Birgit were spectacular. And there were a lot of
play dates because our younger son Charlie was
obsessed with Birgit's younger son Ben.
It was true love and he demanded play date after play date.
And this was after our older children, Henry and Zoe had been preschool play date pals
too.
So that's dozens and dozens of play dates, years of play dates, which was sublime for
me because after a play date with Birgit, I always felt like I'd gotten
a good break, like I had traveled to some wonderful country and all aspects of life
were catapulted into proper perspective.
She was completely comfortable in her own skin.
She seemed to be right there, right where she was.
Do you know what I mean?
Does that make sense?
She wasn't looking to go anywhere or in a hurry to accomplish some goal. That's kind of the opposite of me in a way.
That's actually totally the opposite of me. And I just love that about her. Our relationship was
easy and almost immediately intimate and unspeakably delightful. We'd go on long hikes and have deep conversations about family, philosophy, and nature, and
spiritualism, and sex, and travel, and cooking, and chocolate, and of course our children.
So one day we took this particular hike up in Los Leonis Canyon here in Los Angeles when
all of a sudden our two youngest, Charlie and
her Benny, disappeared.
These two little three-year-old boys.
They had been happily in tow and now they were just gone.
The two older kids, beautiful Zoe, which is what Charlie called her by the way, as if
that was her name, and our Henry, they didn't know where they'd gone. So of course,
we called for them and we yelled for them. We screamed for them actually, and they didn't answer.
And it got really scary, really quickly. It was dusk and the older kids were freaking out
and we were freaking out. And this went on, I don't know, like 10 or 15,
you know, even maybe 20 minutes,
just a very, very long time, too long.
And we were just about to call the police
when we heard giggling.
And these two little boys emerged onto the trail
from behind a big rock, because they'd
been playing hide and seek, but they forgot to tell us that they were playing hide and
seek.
And I had that terrible combination of profound relief and furious anger, and I grabbed my
Charlie and I gave him a swat on the butt, which is the one and only time I ever did
that, FYI.
And then I looked over and I saw Birgit pick Benny up in a most loving embrace, and he
wrapped himself around her just like a tiny little monkey.
So of course this makes me cry because Birgit, as you've probably guessed, isn't alive anymore.
And as I say that, I honestly, I just cannot believe that that's true.
One time when I went to see her in the hospital, I went in and she was fighting just the most
wicked disease.
And she was wearing one of those awful green hospital gowns, but she somehow made it look
chic, for real.
And she was sitting on the floor wearing these awesome clunky army boots.
And I remember thinking, I got to get one of those hospital gowns.
And she looked so cool and beautiful.
And we talked about what we were gonna do
when she got well.
We were gonna spend a whole month in Italy together
and we were gonna go hiking and eating
and we were gonna be laughing.
And she was just an extraordinary friend.
Now, Birgit wasn't a politician or an actress or an executive type or whatever. She was just the best possible person. She had this
open-hearted tender way of participating in life and that's the thing I was talking about.
You know she made you feel like anything was possible which I know sounds crazy but that's the thing I was talking about. She made you feel like anything was possible,
which I know sounds crazy,
but that's what it was like with her.
Yeah, yeah, let's go to Italy and hike for a month
and I'm gonna learn how to sculpt.
Why shouldn't I learn how to sculpt?
Some people have the power to make us feel like that.
Oftentimes, they're artists, right?
They make us look at the familiar in a brand new way.
Things get clear. After you're
with them, you find yourself saying to yourself, oh, I'm going to look at all the things I have on
my bookshelf and I'm going to think about what each little bit and bob means to me. You know,
you think, wow, I never saw that before. And that's Birgit, you know.
She didn't paint or sing.
Living, living, that was her art.
And now she's gone, which is terribly sad.
You know, it's the flip side of her joy coin because she gave us so much joy.
Yeah, so you have to look for those people in the world, the anything is possible people,
the people who make living life into an art.
And today, we're talking to Patti Smith. Hi, I'm Julia Louis-Dreyfus and this is Wiser Than Me, the podcast where I get schooled
by women who are wiser than me. Our guest today is, how should I put this, she's one of the greatest figures in rock
and roll history.
But musician isn't the right way to introduce her because she defies categorization.
Artist, poet, writer, president of punk, let's just say worker, because that's how she has
described herself.
She was at the forefront of the 1970s New York punk rock scene,
putting her words over the sounds of a great band
for her smash debut album, Horses,
which, if you haven't listened to it lately,
go back and play it today.
It'll really surprise you because, yeah, it's fantastic punk,
but it's also so musical and so thoughtfully written
and well played.
With that record, she totally redefined what a female rock star could be,
inspiring that whole first wave of female punk artists in every wave since.
And then, at the peak of rock and roll fame, she stepped away from the spotlight and moved
to Detroit with her husband, the lead guitarist from MC5, Fred Sonic Smith, to raise a family
together.
16 years later, she burst back into the music world and started performing again.
She hasn't missed a beat since.
She's a rock and roll Hall of Fame inductee.
She's one of Rolling Stone magazine's 100 greatest artists of all time, but she's also
won the National Book Award for Just Kids, the memoir
of her relationship with photographer and artist Robert Mapplethorpe.
Um, we froze.
I think Robert visited us.
I'm frozen?
Fuck!
God fucking damn it.
Hey, Patti, we're here.
We're just figuring it out.
We'll be right there.
I think it was the compliment gods.
They were saying I was getting too many compliments.
Patty, how hilarious is this?
I mean, I'm right in the middle of your big old introduction and my Zoom freezes.
Oh my God.
Okay, I think everything's fixed now.
I'm so sorry about that.
When did this happen?
When did I freeze, Patti?
At Mapplethorpe.
You were saying Robert Mapplethorpe and just at the word Mapplethorpe.
Okay, fine.
So I'll start over there at that sentence.
Take two.
She's also won the National Book Award for Just Kids, the memoir of her relationship
with photographer and artist Robert Mapplethorpe. But even that book is hard
to categorize because it's so much more than a memoir. It's a love story. It's a
poem. It doesn't matter what the medium she just creates, wildly with abandon and
independence. If her pal Bob Dylan is the first poet of folk, she's the first poet
of punk.
She's collaborated with everybody from Lou Reed and John Cale to Bruce Springsteen and
she does the best cover of the Who's My Generation ever.
And she's still doing it all, writing, touring, and being Patti Smith, a woman who is so much
wiser than me.
Hi Patti Smith.
Hi, Julia. I'm not so sure I'm wiser than me. Hi, Patti Smith. Hi, Julia.
I'm not so sure I'm wiser, but I know you are.
Oh, I know you are.
But thank you very much.
And yes, I do like to think of myself as a worker.
That's how I define myself, but also a mother.
So that's because they're the two things that I do
every single day. I just can't escape either one of them happily.
The idea of working and being there for my children
who are quite grown.
Yes, and I'm in the same category as you.
I'm a worker and I'm also a mother of two grown children,
two young men who I call my boys.
Hey listen, are you comfortable if I ask your real age?
77.
77.
I've never had a fake age.
I've never claimed to be any age that I am,
but I turned 77 on December 30th.
And how old do you feel, Patti?
Well, my other age is about 9 to 11, which is really the way that I sort of am in my
head.
Yes.
And, you know, really, I mean, I've always been sort of youthful, but as I get older,
we have more challenges.
Obviously, some of them are physical, all kinds of challenges.
So I do feel sort of in step with my age, but the other part of me, I'm always 9, 10,
11 with my dog on my bicycle in my head.
I sense it.
I sense, I mean, you are obviously a free spirit in heart and soul.
I mean, that just pours out of you.
That's obvious.
Are there any practices that hold particular significance
for you now that you're 77?
I'm careful with my food.
I eat healthy, take walks, drink a lot of water.
I make sure I do my work every day.
I'm a bit of a sedentary person.
I like to sit and write and read and daydream, so I make myself take walks.
But my daily practice is that I write every morning, do a little stretching and exercise that I stay in touch with my inner
life as well as my outer life.
I'm not a gym person, I'm not a yoga person, but I make up little, even if they're pretend
ballet or pretend anything, I make sure that I'm always using my body
and staying in contact with it
and staying in contact with my imagination.
How do you stay in contact with your imagination?
What is the practice to do?
I mean, I think you're just built that way,
but is there something specific?
Well, I try to, if, you know, our world is so troubled and there's so much information,
so many things to be concerned about, whether it's the environment or war or whatever it
is that concerns us.
And sometimes I can feel it permeating my consciousness more and more.
So I try to burst through that and, you know, invent stories or read books or look at a
piece of art and see where it takes me.
Just keep challenging myself to think other thoughts.
We have to be prudent.
We have to be aware of our world, but we also have to have joy.
And so it's, some people might call it imagination, some might call it sense of humor, whatever
it is that takes us, gives us a sense of feeling our creative spirit.
Yeah, it gives you a sense of hope, right?
Yeah, yes.
We have to feel that every day, no matter how bad things are.
We have to feel that.
And we're both mothers.
We feel hope not only for ourselves, but for our children.
We wouldn't want our kids to think we had no hope.
Oh my God, right.
What kind of message would that be sending them?
Right. It's funny because I saw that you said I
Don't remember where I've gone down the Patti Smith rabbit hole for the last four you know
Lucky me lucky me, please lucky me
But you and at one point you were talking about what you stand for and you stand for children and that took my breath away
Patty that was so beautiful. And of course and of course it's pure and it is true, right?
That's what we stand for.
Yes. Well, you know, people get mad sometimes when you say things like that, if you say,
I'm for peace or I'm for love, but there's a reason we say those things because they
are the highest things that we can say.
And when people ask me, what side are you on,
or who do you stand for, or what country,
what government, then I think that, as you said,
I'm for children.
I don't care where the children come from,
what they need, who their parents are,
what their religion is, I'm for children and taking care
of them, making sure they're safe, that they have food to eat, that they have education,
that they feel a sense of well-being, that they feel love.
Right.
You know, it's actually not that much different than like Mother Teresa, you know, it's, I'm
not comparing, I'm saying her thought, you thought, people say, well, why do you bother with these
sick and dying children?
Why do you bother?
And she said, because every being should feel love.
And that's our responsibility.
Sorry, I went on a little...
No, it's fine.
I went on my own rabbit hole there.
Yeah, your own little private Patti Smith rabbit hole.
But guess what?
I love it.
No, no, this is what I'm so interested in exploring
with you.
And I think if you talk about the lens of looking
at any of the issues today, which are plentiful, of course,
unfortunately, and looking at these issues
through the lens of children, I think
there's a kind of clarity that comes through as a result.
Yes, absolutely.
So another thing that struck me about you is that, well, are you a superstitious person?
I don't think I'm classically superstitious, but I have a lot of quirks.
I thank everything.
I live alone.
I spend a lot of time with my daughter and some friends, but I do live alone.
And I sort of fall back into my nine, ten year old habits, and that's thanking everything.
I'll brush my teeth and I thank my toothbrush or I don't know if I should be saying this,
but if I have a really good poop, I thank my system.
I'll thank the poop.
I will thank anything.
Or if I'm eating, I'm not a vegetarian, so if I'm eating a fish, I first thank the
fish for its life. Or I'll thank for vegetables for growing for me. I don't know if that falls
in the realm of superstition, but it's some kind of thing that I've done all my life.
And as I get older, I do it more.
Well, I think we should all take a page from that.
I mean, you're really deeply expressing gratitude.
Well, simplistic gratitude.
It's like down to earth gratitude.
Yeah, right.
It's down to earth.
I'll thank my socks for keeping my feet warm.
What about talismans? What about objects? I know you're not a materialistic person,
but I know that you put value on certain objects.
Oh, I mean, I can't claim to be non-materialistic because I have so many books and I love all of my books. Certain
of my books are like talismans, you know, my childhood books that I still have. But
I have like my most precious thing, which I can't wear anymore because my fingers changed,
is my wedding ring, which I always have.
Can I see?
Yeah, it's just a plain little gold wedding ring.
It's just a classic little wedding ring.
I always wear it, but I have like things, usually things people give me like a monk
and a sissy gave me a little St. Francis cross.
It could be, you know, I mean, I have a lot of Robert's things. I am very talismatic,
but they sort of shift. And when I travel, I always take a couple of things and put in
a little bag, you know, to be with me. But it could be something precious. but for instance, here's one. It's Robert's pencil sharpener.
Oh, cool.
But it's a brass pencil sharpener and we used to use it.
It was his, but we used it so many times when we were drawing.
And so I just have it here.
It's a work tool.
So other things could be, you know, my father's golf ball, you know, it could be anything.
So yeah, well, I have my children's baby teeth.
Okay.
That is incredible.
I was the tooth fairy.
Yes, guess what?
So was I.
I have all of their teeth.
And I often think, what can I do with these little tiny, beautiful teeth?
Put them on a necklace or something like that.
Well, you can take them with you.
Yeah, I could take them with me.
If I'm buried with anything with pockets, I want the teeth in the pockets.
What a great idea. Oh, I'm going to do that, Patty. When I kicked a bucket, I'm going
with the kids' teeth. Okay.
I wanted to show you a couple of talismans of mine because, first of all, this, I don't
know if you can hear that.
Oh, yeah.
See that?
It's beautiful.
That's my wedding band.
We froze. Can you still hear me?
We hear you.
We're here.
Okay.
One sec.
Hi, uh, Julia here.
Okay.
Let me, let me explain what's going on.
Patty sees me frozen on her screen, but I don't know it.
And I just keep going about orange blossoms and bullshit.
But now here is when I realized what's happening.
And orange, the smell of orange blossom to me.
Oh, no, not again.
Oh, my God, I'm here.
Can you hear me?
Yes.
What the fuck is happening with this situation? Don't worry. No, it's okay.
I'm not pressed for time. Yeah. You'll always have me. This is my favorite part, actually.
That's so funny because I was telling you about my wedding ring and then you didn't say anything
and I thought you were bored of my jewelry.
No, no, because you froze.
No, it's beautiful.
Oh, for fuck's sakes.
Okay, so here, I'm gonna show you now.
This is my, I mean, seriously,
we're gonna be here till midnight,
but here, this is my wedding band
and you see it has orange blossoms.
It's antique. Wow, it's beautiful. Thank you, I love blossoms. It's antique. It's beautiful.
Thank you, I love it.
It's beautiful.
And when I first went to California
when I was 14 years old,
I smelled orange blossoms for the first time
and I was so overcome.
And it just, I can't even really articulate
how much that smell means to me.
And then I met this boy from California. So to have a wedding band with orange blossoms around it,
I mean, the meaning is intense for me.
So talk about talismans.
That's so nice.
Yeah, it's so nice, right?
No, that's, I mean, really it's,
a talisman is so personal.
It can be, you know, a penny, you know,
or it could be something extremely precious.
You could have a ruby in your pocket, but whatever it is, it's, one invests it with
a certain amount of, you know, significance, magic, poetry.
Right.
Yeah, that's nice.
It's time for a quick break, but don't worry, there's more with Patti Smith in just a bit.
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So you have that great story about being in your 20s and somebody was thinking that you were a
folk singer like Joan Baez because of your hair, so you were inspired to cut your hair
and it had this amazing effect because you cut your hair like Keith Richards, sort
of, right?
And so it caused such a stir, which, I mean, on the one hand, I understand, on the other
hand, it's kind of crazy.
It's a haircut, right?
Well, it was so funny.
I mean, I just had long black hair.
It was just really straight.
I mean, I love Joan Baez.
Me too.
But I got tired of people just saying,
are you a folk singer?
Because they weren't saying it in a nice way.
They were more insulting me.
And I was with, sometimes Robert would take me to places,
because I was sort of a hick.
You know, I came from South Jersey.
I was sort of like a little socially inept.
I had a strong sense of myself, but I didn't really have a total grasp on our culture yet.
But I got so sick of it and I just thought, you know, screw them.
And I looked at pictures of Keith Richards and I just got my scissors and just cut it.
And actually it looked awesome.
But I thought it looked great.
Yes. And then I just went, we used to go to
Max's Kansas City at night, and this was like 1970.
And the same people that made fun of me all the time
or like would like roll their eyes
when Robert would bring me anywhere,
like they acted like, I mean, it was like,
I just couldn't believe all the attention I got.
And they, all of a sudden I became so cool.
And I was like, instead of feeling gratitude though,
I thought, you know, all that for a haircut.
You know, if it's like, that's all it takes is a haircut.
I was the same person.
But I did like it.
I did like my haircut.
And I think really in the end, because I was so boyish looking, I didn't wear makeup and
it's very slim.
And with this chopped up hair, you know, I had more probably of an androgynous look
and that people found appealing at that period, like 1970.
Well, you created an iconic look for yourself,
almost without.
By mistake.
By mistake, and I know what you mean about,
I mean, there's a part of me that wants to say
to those people who all of a sudden
have an about face about you,
you sort of want to say, go fuck yourself.
Yeah, exactly.
But do you still identify with your hair? Do you still, is that a big part of your,
I mean, your braids are divine.
At this point, I just, you know, I have my, I just wear what my, I sort of wear uniform,
what's comfortable. I just braid my hair usually. It took me a long time to get used to having
light colored hair. I mean, I had dark hair my whole life. I didn't start going gray till I was
in my late 50s, 60 years old. And for a while I colored it or I put different highlights in it, and then I thought, I just decided to just let it be itself.
And I'm not so, I have a definite style.
For sure.
And I like, but I'm not, I had a very youthful appearance for a long time.
And in the last couple of years, I can see my aging process. So I thought, okay,
as long as I do good work, as long as I can do good work and can be reasonably pleased
with my appearance, that's fine with me. I'm not so deeply connected with that anymore.
By the way, speaking of your hair, I saw that on your mom's birthday, you trim your hair.
Right?
Do you still do that on your mother's birthday?
Actually, I haven't done that in a long time.
I think it's, I trim my hair also as an act of independence.
My mother cut my hair till I was like 14 years old. The worst hair cutter,
I mean she'd just take a pair of shears and chop and then put curlers in it and try to
make it look better.
Oh God.
It was, my school pictures are some of the worst pictures of a child you could ever see.
I think that actually.
But I love the idea, at least for a period of time, that you sort of honored your mom
by trimming your hair on her birthday.
What do you think your kids would do to honor you?
What would they do, do you think?
Oh, I have no idea, but I honor my mother every day.
Every time I drink a cup of coffee, I honor her, her and my father. They were big
coffee drinkers and every time I drink my coffee, they pass through my mind. I didn't
have always the greatest relationship with my mother. We had our problems, but the older
I get, the more I admire her and the more I would do anything just to have one more cup of coffee with her.
It would just be, just sit there and talk and, you know, have a cup of coffee together.
What did you learn from her as a mom that you sort of carried forward in your mothering?
My mother worked as a waitress her whole life.
She had four kids.
My father worked a night shift.
She worked as a waitress
and they had a lot of economic strife,
yet she was able to keep a sense of optimism,
creativity.
She was completely open-minded, she had no prejudices.
Her only rule when you came into our house was that you had to be respectful and kind
to one another.
I think if anything, I just realized how hard she worked.
Like how did she do it?
I raised kids, my husband and I raised our kids ourselves.
I didn't have a nanny, I didn't have babysitters, I had two kids, but my mother had four and she was
working. And when I was doing laundry for us, I thought of all the laundry she had to do, she
took in other people's ironing when I think about it.
And she was so, she never complained about it.
She was always upbeat, singing songs from the 40s.
She was just happy that World War II was over.
She just had such a great spirit.
She always said the thing, if we complained because we thought we were having difficulties
or I didn't have nice shoes to wear or something.
And she always quoted, I don't know where the quote comes, but she would say, I wept
because I had no shoes and then I saw a man who had no feet.
And she said that again. But throughout our life, she would say that whenever we complained,
if we didn't like our food, she would talk about the people who, but not in a cliche
way, but a real comprehension of the strife of others. But all of these things make me
constantly think about other people.
And I know I got that from my mother.
Yeah, well, and you say thank you a lot, don't you?
I mean, it has to be related to your mom, at least based on what you're telling me.
I think it's beautiful.
Well, thanking my toothbrush, I think, came from myself because that when my mother would
say, Patricia, you're going too far. Yeah, I think, came from myself because that when my mother would say, Patricia, you're
going too far.
Yeah, I was going to say, well, that's you taking it to the next level, but that's okay.
You put your own spin on it.
Yeah, exactly.
You left home at a young age and when you moved to New York and that whole extraordinary adventure journey began, did
you ever reach back to your folks asking for advice, checking in, or were you very separate
from them during that time?
I was very close with my family and I always kept in touch with them, even if I was sending them postcards from New York
to New Jersey.
But I didn't tell them about any hardships or difficulties I was having.
They had their own.
And I just thought it was my duty to figure things out myself.
I really came to New York to get a job because there wasn't any work in South Jersey.
When I finally got a good job at a bookstore and then I met Robert, my life was magical.
We had our problems and we didn't have much money, but it was a very magical time for me because I was from a very rural area and without really anything cultural happening.
There was a square dance hall across the street, but it wasn't a cultural hub.
You had to go to Philadelphia or Camden.
I love that story of your dad taking you to Philadelphia and you saw the
Picasso's art. Yeah, I saw art for the first time in person. Yes. Yes, especially the Picasso's
Yes, but I I loved it. I loved all the energy
I loved that people were walking on the streets at night, you know, I loved everything about it. So I was quite happy
Mm-hmm. Were your parents worried about you or did that were they cool or they didn't think about it. So I was quite happy. Were your parents worried about you or were they cool? Or they didn't think about it too
much?
Well, my mother always worried. She would worry about us all the time, but they knew
I was street smart. And then they were happy when I met Robert because I had a companion,
someone who could look out for me.
Yes. Although it was pretty much the other way around, I think.
Yes.
So let's talk about your gorgeous book, Just Kids.
What a work of art.
And I know that right before Robert died,
you made the promise to him to write down your
life, his life together.
And that was in 1989.
And then in 2010, you completed it.
Is that right?
Yes.
So can you talk about how that span of time, I mean, I know a lot happened obviously in
that span of time, but the journey of finding a way to tell it. And how did that happen, Patti?
How did you find your voice?
It was very difficult because I mostly wrote poetry, stories.
I wanted to write fiction, not nonfiction,
but I had promised Robert, and he asked me to write our story.
And I knew what our story was.
I knew it backwards and forwards.
But I wanted to present it in a way that would make him happy,
that he'd be proud of.
But Robert was not a reader.
So I wanted to write something that would have a cinematic feel
so that readers would
like that it would be poetic enough that readers would be fulfilled, but also non-readers could
also enjoy as sort of almost like a movie.
But it took me a long time because I had never done anything like that.
And I wanted it to be good or not at all. And then so many things happened,
and the loss of my husband and my brother and taking care of my children and having to reenter
public life in order to make a living. And the book kept being shelved.
But I sometimes could hear Robert going, Patty, where's our book?
And I had a very good editor.
And her and I just plowed through it.
And I went through two publishers.
I got dropped from Doubleday because it took me so long.
Oh.
And another publisher took it.
I had one crisis after another,
sometimes I would go in a year without working on it.
And I wrote so many outlines
and I wanted to get everything correct.
I wanted people to have a sense of New York City,
what it was like in the late 60s and
early 70s.
And I also wanted to represent everyone in the book well, even people I didn't like,
because I didn't want the book to be a way to speak ill of people.
I wanted to put them in cultural context. So I had to make certain that
everything was as accurate as possible. I did have a lot of diaries, which were really helpful.
That was my question, because there's a lot of detail, a lot, right?
Well, my mother used to every year for my birthday get me these little diaries where,
you know, it only gives you a half a page per date.
And so I found a couple of them, a lot of them got lost, but I found pivotal years at
the Chelsea where every day it would say, cut Robert's hair like a rockabilly star,
cut my hair like Keith Richards, met Janis Joplin.
It wouldn't tell anything about her.
It would just say, met Janis Joplin.
And I would say, are you serious?
That's all you wrote.
Full moon when my period was due.
So I had a daily, almost a daily picture of our everyday life.
And I was really able, I have a very good memory for things like that, so I was able
to reconstruct that period of time.
And through the music we were listening to and the work that we both did, I was having
a lot of difficulty finishing it, and I had some work to do in France.
Johnny Depp and Vanessa Parody had a complex in the south of France, and they had a little
chapel that he had renovated.
They let me stay there and finish the book. And Johnny was very encouraging. He would tap on the
door and then I'd open the door and there'd be a little tray of food.
Oh my God.
And sometimes a little glass of very good wine or something. And never bothered me.
And that's where I finished the book. And I'll never forget when he was done the book, he knocked on my door and I opened, he stayed
up all night long or whatever.
I said, did you, how is it?
He goes, it's a fucking masterpiece.
I went, oh my gosh, that was my first review.
And that froze you.
Oh my gosh, poor us. Frozen Zuma again.
Oh my, can you believe this?
This was driving me crazy, but nothing faces Patti Smith.
Honestly, nothing.
Oh, thank God.
All right. All right. We're back. God damn it.
What the fuck are we just talking about? We were, um, who knows? Oh, I was telling you, I was about Johnny, I was telling you about how Johnny was my first reader.
Yes, which is a huge responsibility, but obviously he was up to the task.
He was very encouraging, and he sent me on my way.
Speaking of encouraging artists, there's something about being in proximity to other artists
and thinkers and so on that you were in the midst of when you were living at the Chelsea
Hotel and of course those early days in New York.
Can you talk explicitly about the value of being close to people who challenge you and
really lift you up?
I mean, I don't know if I can do it justice, but I was very fortunate because when I was
at the Chelsea, I mean, I was there privy to the minds and the advice of people like
William Burroughs and Ellen Ginsburg, Bobby Newworth.
I met a lot of musicians, Janis Joplin, of course, but a lot of different
people that came in and out of the Chelsea. We were all living there. So even though I was a
girl working in a bookstore, I was living in the same places as they were for a week or two, it was my home. I truthfully to this day don't know why these people, what they saw in me and why they gave
me so much of their time, but they did.
I didn't take drugs at the time.
I mean, I've never really taken drugs, smoked some pot, but even then I wasn't smoking pot.
I had a lot of clarity. I was a responsible
person, but I was a fledgling artist and a lot of people took me under their wing.
Like William Burroughs, he would sit and talk to me and talk to me about my imagination or shamanistic powers, but also he would tell me what kind
of advice he would give me, for instance, keep your name clean.
If you have to make big decisions, especially about your work, one might be more lucrative,
more exciting, but you have to make the decision that you can live with
for the rest of your life
and to do your best to keep your name clean.
And I don't know really what to say,
except I was so lucky.
And I had my own sense of myself and I was a bit arrogant, but I wasn't so arrogant that
I failed to recognize that these people had a lot to teach me.
And it was as I think I said in the book, but it's the best way I can say it, it was
my university.
I mean, you got your master's, your PhD, you got the, for real, right?
And a couple of doctorates.
Yeah, exactly, and a couple of doctorates.
I was very, I love this from the book when you talk about this exchange that you had
with Sam Shepard, who was also another very close friend of yours, and he said, you can't
make a mistake when you improvise. And you said, what if I screw up the rhythm. And he said, you can't make a mistake when you improvise.
And you said, what if I screw up the rhythm?
And he said, you can't, it's like drumming.
If you miss a beat, you create another.
And you wrote, in this simple exchange,
Sam taught me the secret of improvisation,
one that I've accessed my whole life.
That is so beautiful.
And I believe that totally.
It certainly applies to my own life with improvisation.
And it's-
And in our practical life, everything that we do on stage,
I make so many mistakes on stage
or forget lyrics or all kinds of disasters.
And I just take them in stride.
You can't make a mistake. you just create a new beat.
And also, if you're performing,
if you stay in touch with the people, you can do anything.
You can tell them, I'm having a weird moment here.
And people go, it's okay, Patti, it's okay.
They'll wait for you, they'll send you energy,
as long as you take it in and give it back to them. You can transfigure anything. It's just,
it's the transformation of waste. You can take something and create a new thing.
We'll get more wisdom from Patty Smith after this super quick break. Stay tuned.
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Will you talk about the decision to leave New York
and go to Detroit with your beloved Fred and
What about the shit you got for that that oh I got a lot
What the hell oh my gosh, you know, I didn't really think
When I left people would it would be any big deal. I wasn't like Bob Dylan, I wasn't Metallica, I wasn't the Grateful Dead.
I was just doing my part and that's how I thought when I did my first record.
I just wanted to lay some groundwork for future generations, I thought rock and roll was getting too glamorous, I thought
it was getting too commercial.
I was just trying to bring it down to, strip it down to three chords in poetry, and then
I was going to be on my way.
So I wound up doing four records, but I never planned to be like a rock star.
I don't really have, I'm not a great singer.
I had no training, no musical training.
I said what I had to say and then I felt as I was performing somewhat redundant.
And I also felt, because in Europe I was very popular, I thought the direction I'm going
is possible fame and fortune, but I wasn't growing.
I was becoming agitated, somewhat demanding, stressed.
I wasn't writing, I felt that I wasn't evolving as a human being.
But at the same time, I had really, after having some very interesting, beautiful relationships
with other fellas, I found the person that I really loved and wanted to spend my life
with.
And I didn't like being parted with him. And we decided, you know, he had been, you know, rock and roll star from a young age
to leave, mutually leave the music business and live a quiet life and see where that took
us.
And so it was just time, it was time to see what I was made of. And it
wasn't easy, but I've never once had any regret about it. I never regretted a thing. I loved
my husband and I went into that life willingly. And it required a certain amount of sacrifice.
But one thing I learned is sacrifice isn't bad.
It's only bad if you resent the sacrifices you're making,
which I didn't.
And then having kids.
Yeah, how soon after you made that move,
did you start having your babies?
Well, I made the move in 79 and I had my son in 82 and my daughter in 87.
And I was also getting older.
I was 41 when I had my daughter.
So those years, because I had to, you know, have new disciplines and I had to work with how much time I had to myself became
the years where I really became a writer.
And in my whole life, that's what I wanted more than anything.
It was of all my disciplines, being a writer is the thing I'm most proud of and the most
in terms of myself. And I had to find my niche to write, wake up at five in the morning when the kids were
sleeping, work from five to eight, then they got up, got them ready for school, and then
whatever rhythm my husband and I were in, but I found a way to develop my work and to study.
And it was, you know, people found it appalling that I did that, but I grew.
I grew as a writer.
I grew as a human being.
I find it appalling that people found it appalling.
You know how appalling?
My husband and I did a record, Dream of Life, together.
They really just skewered it.
There was a picture of me in the Village Voice with my hair and braids, because I had my hair and braids on the album cover, with cow udders.
Basically, saying that I had,
I mean, basically they were,
this is a newspaper that used to put me on the cover.
Now I had turned into like a female cow, you know, because I had...
Oh my God.
So it was very...
And also I would, after my husband died and I came back into public life because I needed
work and still to this day, people will say to me, well, in the 80s, you didn't do anything.
And I say, in the 80s, I had two children.
Two children.
I washed a million diapers.
I planted trees.
I wrote every day.
I evolved as a human being.
I had spent a certain amount of time.
It was only a certain amount of time, but I spent
all that time with the love of my life.
How can you say that I did nothing in the 80s?
Well, I mean, I really think that this is what you are describing is the unfortunate
plight of being a woman because you're like fucking damned if you do and damned if you don't,
right?
You could argue that the 80s and this period of time where in which you develop this discipline
to get up before the kids and do your writing and then raise two human beings with the love
of your life might have been your most fruitful and productive time of your life.
So I think it's also Julia, I'm sorry, I think that part of it is also this idea of media
and people's headspace where if you aren't in the public eye, you don't exist.
If you're an artist, if you aren't in the public eye,
they say I did nothing because it wasn't reported.
You know, they think that because I wasn't in the media
that I didn't exist or what I did didn't matter.
And my, you know, I have pride or what I did didn't matter.
I have pride in what I accomplished in those years.
As well you should.
I have pride.
I'm not a very good homemaker.
I'm not very good at domestic tasks, but I was proud that I was able to do my best to
do whatever I could to be the best mother I knew how to be.
And that's its own worth.
That has its own worth.
That's not small potatoes.
That's not small potatoes.
No, that's not nothing.
Yeah, that's not nothing.
I mean, I would argue that's the most important.
I mean, at the end of the day, I would want to be the best mother I could be over anything
else, you know.
You're such a fanciful and you're such an imaginative person.
Were you able to meet your children in that place, in that place of pretend?
I would think that that was something that would be a good meeting ground for you guys.
Yeah? something that would be a good meeting ground for you guys, yeah? Yes, we did.
And then what I learned with my siblings, because I was the oldest, so I designed a
lot of our play, and that's a territory I know well.
But I also know that part of the territory when you have to let them go and have their imaginative plays with their
friends and with each other.
I have a beautiful relationship with my kids.
They lost their father very young.
They were six and 12.
And I've been their parent.
And I'm really happy with the communication that the three of us have.
And, you know, and they're both creative.
They're musicians.
They're good, solid people.
And I'm very happy with them.
Yeah.
My kids are both creative, too.
And I have to say that it gives me enormous joy to see them.
We're frozen.
Hi, it's me again.
Are you believing all these technical problems?
I just keep freezing on the Zoom.
This really, honestly, it doesn't happen to us usually.
And I felt so bad for Patty,
but she took it completely in stride.
Okay, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom.
Great.
Feel free to take a long time.
Patty's going to the bathroom.
Oh, she is?
I'm going to the bathroom too.
Okay, good, good.
I'll get this figured out.
You're doing great.
So sorry.
Julia's gonna run to the bathroom too.
Okay.
Okay, I'm back.
Hi, Patty.
Hi. All right.
So what was I going to say?
I was going to say, how did you help your children navigate the grief of losing their
dad?
I mean, that's a huge question, I realize.
But if you can speak to it, or is it just too much?
Well, I can't answer for them.
I can only say that we kept him with us daily and we still do.
And my brother died a month later.
So we had two, their favorite uncle who was only 42 and my husband was 45.
who was only 42 and my husband was 45. So we had the loss of both of them to navigate.
And I think a lot of it was just keeping them present, just keeping them present and just
continuing on.
I'm a worker, so I worked, I tried my best to keep some seamless, some certain things seamless, but it was,
it's actually such a difficult thing to talk about.
Yeah, I understand.
I can only say it's easier to simply say, and I think it's a good thing to do with all
the people that we love.
We go through a certain period that is almost mystically terrible.
And then when we re-enter life, we just make him part of everything.
We talk about him, not always like he's a saint, some funny stories or sad stories,
or we wonder what he would think of, what would he think of social media?
What would he think of lack of privacy?
What would he think of Metallica having 1.4 million people in a concert in Russia.
What would you think of political change?
But we just make them part of our conversation.
Yeah.
I mean, I think that I lost my sister and my dad in a very short period of time.
And I agree with keeping them a part of you.
It's like your relationship with them changes.
You still have a relationship, right?
But it just, it's a new way of being with them.
Yes, absolutely.
I remember that you were talking about
when you and your sister were with your brother
after he had passed, you were with his body and you started to laugh hysterically.
And I have to tell you something, it was uncanny reading that because the exact same thing
happened to me with my other sister, and we were with my deceased sister's body, and we
became hysterical laughing.
Isn't that strange that we both had that same reaction in a way?
Well, I think a lot of that comes from closeness and trust.
I cherish that we did that because my brother, Toddy, Linda and I laugh so much as siblings.
And sometimes if we got started, we'd laugh ourselves sick.
Oh, you know that feeling.
You can't stop.
You can't stop.
And my brother especially was the big laugher among us and the fact that my sister and I
were able still to laugh like that without him physically, I mean with him, he couldn't
laugh with us physically, but the fact that we could still do it, even without him, made us both feel
like he was within us and that we hadn't lost that ability. And I think that that's a wonderful
thing. I found it such a joyful expression of our mutual love for him. Oh, yes. Without question.
I think it's positively beautiful.
I also wanted to tell you that my dad, who passed away in 2016, and he was a businessman,
but he was also a poet himself.
And his stuff was published, and he was actually the head of the Poetry Society of the East
or whatever it's called, I don't know, anyway.
And he wrote a poem that we actually put on his tombstone.
And I thought you might be interested to hear it.
May I read it to you?
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
It's called Explanation.
And it goes like this. God must mean for us to reason that the flower first in bloom,
taut and shining, is not altered even in its dying season.
God's the present ever missing till we meet it when we die.
Life's the ambush of tomorrow and the sorrow of goodbye.
Wow, that's beautiful.
The ambush of tomorrow.
Is that the line?
Ambush?
Life's the ambush of tomorrow.
Life's the ambush.
What a line.
Ambush to use. I mean line. Ambush to use.
I mean, I'm sorry to pick a part.
It's so beautiful, but to use the word ambush within that poem, that's a real poet.
I mean, that's someone who really understands and can turn words at his will.
It's like he got the clay of the word and turned that. It's beautiful.
I'm happy to send you his...
Yes.
Right when he died, he had never published a book of poems. He'd only had poems published,
specific poems. And he put together a book of poetry that he entitled,
Letters Written But Not Sent.
And it was for me and my sisters.
And yeah, my mom and my stepmom.
Anyway, it was very, very meaningful.
I thought you would be interested in that
since you're such a poet yourself.
And I was gonna ask if you,
if you wouldn't mind either saying
or singing the memorial song that you, if you wouldn't mind either saying or singing the memorial song that you, because
it's so beautiful that you sang for Robert.
Oh, for Robert.
For Robert.
Yeah.
Only if you want to.
If you don't want to, that's fine.
Oh, no, I can.
I, you know, that little song, when Robert died, I knew that I had to speak at his memorial and my
husband drove us to North Carolina. We used to get like a little place and sit on the
beach because I love the sea. And I walked up and down and up and down that beach trying to think of what to say.
And, um, this little song came into my head.
I've never recorded it or anything.
I just really wrote it for Robert.
So it's called Memorial song.
And what I'll do is, uh, okay.
I just need to get my other classes.
Sorry.
No worries.
Okay, so I have to stop again for just a second.
Remember a few minutes ago when Patty said that she would take mistakes and transfigure
them?
Well, as you've heard, the internet has been freezing like crazy during our whole conversation,
and it's about to freeze again right in the middle of Patty's beautiful song.
But this is Patty Smith.
It doesn't matter.
In fact, it's kind of great.
Patty transfigures the moment.
So right when Patty starts, I freeze on the Zoom.
I can still hear her perfectly,
but she's looking at me just frozen on her screen
and she just keeps going.
And well, anyway, just listen to what happens.
I haven't looked at it for a long time, but I'm going to sing it to you because it was
written as a song.
So Robert had green eyes, very green eyes.
And my dream was always, we didn't have any money when we were young,
but my dream was to someday buy him a beautiful emerald ring because he loved, which I never
did. But I wrote my hand, could I make him stay? soul, little emerald eye, little emerald soul, must you say goodbye.
All the things that we pursue, all that we dream, are composed as nature knew in a feather green.
Little emerald bird, as you light afar, it is true I heard heard God is where you are. Little emerald soul, little world bird, we must say goodbye.
That was so beautiful.
Oh my gosh, I looked in your eyes at the, I don't know if you could tell.
Oh, Patti, I could hear you, but I was frozen on Zoom and you just kept going.
I looked straight in your eyes at the end and really saw all of you.
What a beautiful person you are, really.
I think you are the most beautiful person.
This has been an honor for me totally and completely to talk to you today and be with
you and God knows we gleaned tons of wisdom from this conversation.
And my favorite thing is you and your sister laughing, just like my sister and I did, because
that was mystically beautiful.
Yeah, mystically beautiful.
Patti Smith, thank you so much for being with us today.
Thank you, Julia.
I won't forget that last look I had of your face.
No, don't forget it.
Blazon, my frozen Zoom face in your brain.
And many thanks for your patience.
Oh my God, I'm very grateful to you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Oh my god, what an incredibly patient, kind and wise woman that Patti Smith is.
Wow.
She really kept me calm during those dropouts.
Okay, I got to get my mom on Zoom so I can tell her about it.
I hope I don't freeze with her.
Hi mommy.
Oh, hi honey. Hi, hi. Hi, Mommy. Oh, hi, honey. Hi, hi. Hi, hi. So I'm going to hope that the Zoom doesn't go out while I'm talking to you because we
had enormous technical difficulties while working with Patty, but because she's so kind,
we were able to get through it.
Well, welcome to my world.
When it works, it's a miracle.
So I just, I turn on the computer with a sinking
heart. Mommy, she was talking about her mother, something her mother always used to say to
her whenever they would complain. Her mom used to say, I cried because I had no shoes
and then I saw a man who had no feet.
Did you not used to say that to us?
Isn't that an expression that you've said, or am I crazy?
Well, it not exactly, you know, what my mother used to say was, was, well, when
you get something, everybody else in the family can't.
Really good to go shopping. No way. Well, she was one of five girls.
She was one of five girls.
And you know, grandma made all her clothes.
And so they...
Oh my God.
That is honestly, that is the funniest thing I've ever heard.
Well, it is funny, but it didn't make me.
No, I'm sorry, mommy.
That's an awful thing she said to you.
Well anyway, she was saying it affectionately, talking about her mother. And we were talking about grief and loss
because she's had, as most people her age have,
but there was a period of time in her life
where she lost her husband, her brother,
and her best friend Robert Mapplethorpe
all within a very short period of time.
And I actually remember that you were the one who talked to me once when I, I think
I had a friend whose mother had died and you were telling me about, talking about how losing
a person and it's not like the relationship ends.
It's a new way of being with that person.
It's a new relationship.
When my mother died, there was a neighbor, a wonderful woman that was an older woman,
and she lived a couple blocks down from us, and she always walked by with her dog, and
I talked to her, and she was about the age that my mother was.
And then she knew that my mother died.
She wrote me a note and she said to,
that she has noted that when she loses people,
that they're very much with her.
That they still, she said the relationship changes,
but it's very much, you're very much alive within you.
And so when it's over. I say that letter always because it was something
that nobody had ever said to me because I think in my family discussion was stricken about grief.
And we were to a funeral yesterday of somebody that both dad and I loved so much. And it was
at the funeral that I felt his presence so much. And I felt the joy
that he had in being with us and that we had in being with him. It was just something that you
felt. And when they were playing one of the hymns, which was not a hymn that had any relation to any
joining before, but I suddenly felt that joy that I would feel being with him. And so there it was.
I mean, he was sort of with us. Yeah. That's a nice thing. That's comforting, isn't it?
It's very comforting. I actually recited Daddy Will's poem explanation that we put on his tombstone,
Will's poem explanation that we put on his tombstone, which I think you're familiar with. And then she was kind enough to sing the song slash poem that she wrote for Robert Mapplethorpe
when he died and she sang it at his funeral and she sang it for us, acapella.
It's called Memorial Song. It's
beautiful. So it was quite the experience to talk to her. She is, there's nobody like
her. I really enjoyed being with her.
She seems to be from another place altogether because in Just Kids, which I read of hers, or actually
I listened to her read it, which is quite a wonderful experience.
But she, the fact that she knew that she was an artist, but that she didn't know of what.
I know.
It's almost like you're born before you're, I mean, you can dance before you can walk. I mean,
how did she know that? There's something spiritual about that.
Yes. And in the book, she talks about going to the Philadelphia Art Museum,
where you and I have been, of course, and seeing the Picasso's. And it was like this,
she was thunderstruck, like, this is me. This is what I need to be doing. But she is a, it was remarkable when you said that you were going to be with her.
I was thinking to myself that she, there are very few people like Patti Smith in the world.
Yeah.
She's the one and only without question.
So are you too, mama.
Oh, thanks honey.
Well, you're, you're one of many.
No, listen, are you kidding?
There ain't nobody but you, this Joya, that's for sure.
Alright, alright. Love you, mummy. I'm going to say goodbye now and go lie down.
You're going to lie down? You want me to lie down? I got to lie down. You can lie down if you want, but I got to lie down. Oh, you're going to lie down? You want me to lie down?
I got to lie down.
You can lie down if you want, but I got to lie down.
We had so many technical difficulties.
I have to go.
Oh, well, I'm so sorry, but I'm starving.
I'm going to go have dinner.
Okay, go have dinner.
I love you tons.
I love you.
Okay, bye.
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Wiser Than Me is a production of Lemonada Media
created and hosted by me, Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
This show is produced by Chrissy Pease,
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