With The Perrys - How to Get Free From Porn

Episode Date: March 18, 2024

What's destructive, expensive, and detrimental to your soul? Porn. If we had eyes to see how many demons are behind pornography, we would run from it. If we knew how much the devil delights in it, it would not be appealing to us.   By the grace of God, Preston has been freed from pornography for three years, and he shares his experience in this episode. God is a loving God. If you run to Him for help, He’ll sustain you.   Find one of our first YouTube conversations on the topic here: Soooo, about pornography.   https://www.covenanteyes.com — Try Victory by Covenant Eyes FREE for 30 days with promo code PERRYS! Subscribe to the Perrys' newsletter: https://withtheperrys.myflodesk.com/zhfus4jx1s Join Preston's discipleship community for men: https://www.patreon.com/PrestonPerry/membership To support the work of the Perrys, donate via PayPal: https://paypal.me/withtheperrys Shop BOLD Apparel: boldapparel.shop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yo, what's up with y'all? What up? Remember Big Tick in the basement? That's what I was. I wasn't ready for that. Was good. Was good with it, sign. I used to love that show.

Rap City was, I used to watch it when I can't, because I feel like that was a- What was better? Rap City or 106 Park? There were different things. I'm saying, if you had to pick one. They were different. Rap City was rappers. One-on-6 and Park was everybody.

I know what I'm saying. If you had to like, if it'd be, he said one has to go out of your. I refuse to submit to this kind of like competition thing. Jackie is so difficult. It's not difficult. That's like you asking me, donuts or peach cobbler. I love them both.

I know you love them both. I can't make them go to war. I can't choose sides. So if God came back and said, I'm taking, I'm either to take peach collar or donuts away. I don't think God would ever come back. I know. It's like, oh, my goodness. He's going to separate the.

goats and the sheep, not donuts from cake or pie from ice cream. That's what you're doing. This is the reason why a nine-year-old is so, like she doesn't get sarcasm. Actually, that pigs don't fly. They don't have wings. They have legs. It's like, oh. We're not having a conversation about sarcasm. You ask, I'm just saying, what I'm saying is, I have the right to answer your question on my terms. So you're not going to say, What would you take away 106 of Park or Rap City? That's not what you asked me. You asked me which is better.

Which is better. I'm saying. And I'm saying they both had their place. I don't want to talk to you anymore. Kim, you're behind the camera. I'm not doing it. You remember 106 in Park and big ticket basement. If somebody gave you a choice, right, right?

No, no, no, Kim. Should I put the camera on Kim? Put the camera on Kim. Put the camera on Kim. Put the camera on Kim, because Jackie just, just, she, he blowing me. Look, if somebody said, you got to take away one, 106 of Park or Big Tigger, well, you had to. Which one would you take away? Which one you couldn't live with?

One of 16 in the private. So, okay. Thank you, Kim. Not thank you. Oh, so you just wanted somebody to agree with you? No, not agree. I'm just saying, I just, I want it, you know what I'm saying? Oh, so you didn't like.

I bow wow and uh Terrence and Roxy. Okay. I like Terrence and Roxy. I, that stage was not a thing for me. Wait. And I was, I was growing up. Did y'all know, though, that AJ's dreads was fake the whole time? No, they were not.

Yes, they were. No, they were not. They were fake though. Who told you that? I literally saw a video on TikTok of behind the scenes. I'm going to pull it up right quick. I'm going to pull it up. That was a wig the whole time.

I don't believe it. I'm going to pull it up. We'll pause this right quick. I know fake locks when I see it. Ooh. I said AJ 106 in Park and the first thing that popped up was fake drids. What's your source? What's your source?

No, no, no. No, seriously. It's not a source. It's a video. That is. He shows, he shows, he shows, he showed his process after every 106 in Park of him taking off his dreads. I don't believe it.

Because that, that, how do we know that that was during the taping of 106 part? Because he, like on a longer video that I saw, he talked. about how exhausting it was to take off his dreads after every single 106. I have to confirm when I get out. Because that easily could be a misrepresentation where he actually had fake dreads after he cut his hair off. Let's be clear. That doesn't prove that that was actually during the taping of 106 part. I don't think they are fake.

Do they look real right here? They look kind of real. Do you see the edges, bro? That's a Tyler Perry wig. That man had real locks. Go look at that man. That man had real locks. Okay.

But he is a little chubby in this video. Like, unless he said, y'all be watching a YouTube video just because they said it, you just go with it. Hey, man. If it ain't come out. That's what he said. He said in the video, he said it was exhausting. No, no, no. In the longer video, because that was a video of somebody just showing like a speed process, him taking it off.

He said it was exhausting, taking the dreads off after everyone on 16th Park. That's what he said. Yeah, we'll see. All right, so we're supposed to be talking about porn. Oh, my gosh. That's what we're here for. We're not here for the wigs. We're here for the vids, you know?

Tell us a little something. So we released a podcast. Our first podcast episode actually was about pornography. The recording of it is so raggedy. I wouldn't even want people to go back and listen to it. Because we recorded in our closet. No, in the hotel room. Oh yeah, it was in a hotel room.

It was a hotel room with a Yeti Mike and just nothing. And the Lord was so faithful to use our meager attempts at being, you know, podcasters and all the things. And then we did a video on YouTube repeating that story, but in a more beautiful way. And the story was basically, Pressing was watching some porn. I found out about it on either of the story. fifth birthday. It became like a whole thing, but it was really good for,

can I say it was good for our marriage? Yeah, I think it was. I think trials, they refine a marriage. And so I don't want to say good, but I think it was a mountain that God used it. That God used to teach us

how to move others. And so the other day, what was this? A month or so ago? You was like, I haven't watched porn in three years. Yeah, July 15th will be my third year anniversary of being, I feel like, free from pornography.

Yeah. How does that feel? Man, it feels great, you know. You know, it's just a testament to how much God is a keeper. He really is a keeper. And also, too, like, it's some things that, it's some sins that you find yourself falling in, that you, in the moment, you feel like you're never going to be delivered

from that thing. If you feel like it has so much of a hold on you that you can't let it go. And it wasn't until God allowed, you know, a lot of situations in my life to kind of just compile on top of one another. Well, I really felt almost at my wit's end to just give it to Jesus, you know.

But it feels great. even looking back doing this podcast with you right now and knowing that that was our first podcast how many years ago was that was that fives four I don't know how many kids do we have I think we had one two I don't know yeah I don't know we got a lot of kids but that was our first podcast you know and that was the first time I was comfortable enough talking about it to the public. But even since then, God has allowed me to go through so much. And he's done so much and I'm married. He's done so much in my individual walk with him. And yeah, it just feels good to look back at the time and say, man, like God, even then, you were sanctifying me. You were cleaning me,

you know, and God didn't give up on me. You know, he was patient with me. And I think it's just a testament to know that if you really want to please the Lord and if you really want to please the Lord and if you running him for help, he'll help you and he'll sustain you. I'm curious, well, I can suspect that somebody would be curious about how. Like, how have you been able to resist that temptation? Because it's not like the temptation went away. It's not like this is, you know, porn conversion therapy where you don't want to watch it anymore.

So what happened? I'm going to be real. I'm going to be just real. Because the first podcast, I was just real honest. My mama heard it. She was like, wow, that was a lot. The first podcast that we did about porn, I feel like God in his kindness showed me how much it affected you, showed me how much it hurt him. And I was broken that I sinned against God.

I was broken that I sin against my wife. But I still fell into porn after that, right? Which is the reason why it's a three-year anniversary and that was like four years ago, right? Well, I honestly think our first podcast was like six years ago. Six years ago? It might be. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Go ahead. And so, you know, I wasn't a slave to it like I was. But I had some moments and I, you know, that I slipped and I watched it or whatever. And it was like, I hope this makes sense. But after God dealt with my heart about how much it affected him and how much it affects my marriage and I love him and I love you, I didn't. didn't really meditate on how much it was damaging to me. I'm sorry.

I'm just trying to make sure that the door is closed so that the kids ain't like, what's porn, dad? Make sure door is closed talking about porn. I'm texting our nanny because that would just, my mind, I heard them. I was like, oh, yeah, no. Go ahead. I'm so sorry. because you're really having a testimony service

and not just keep interrupting you. Yeah. So it's all good. So yeah, I think at first you know, I realized God made it like painfully obvious how much it grieved him and how much it affected you

in my marriage. And because of that, I had really, godly sorrow and I felt convicted. I mean, we remember the time. And if you've been rocking with this podcast a long time, I think you guys remember that time.

But I don't think that I, even in that time, meditated on what it was doing to me personally, like how much it was affecting my mind, how much it was affecting my heart. I think even when I released that first episode, it was like, man, porn destroys marriages. Porn, God hates it because it's the, you know, and all of this stuff. But like, I hadn't, you know, and so I was, at that time, I was really focused on, God and you and my family and not wanting to throw my marriage away because I can't get over this thing. But God had to make it personal, personable to me. Right.

And to be quite frank, God over the course of a couple of years of just me falling back into it, he had to slap my wrist a couple of times to tell me, no, this thing is demonic. It is literally antichrist, right? you know and i think that if we think about porn in that way i'm disciplining a young man who's been you know married not for a very long time and you know he had a similar struggle and i love how god uses the things that we go through and then he sends the exact people in our lives to help walk them through certain things it's like man i've been there yeah and one of the things that you know he loves to do is he loves to study about how well jesus went to evil places

and places where they did witchcraft. And he was so bold and so courageous and how evil these places are. And he talks about all of the witchcraft that's happening in Atlanta now. And it's like, bro, if you really pay attention to it, pornography is just as demonic as these places. It is just as evil.

If we can, if God can unveil our spiritual eyes, our natural eyes and allow us to see in the spirit and we saw how many demons are behind binography, we were run from it. It would not be appealing to us, right? And so I started to have, one, just very demonic dreams. You know what I'm saying? And I know some people feel weird about dreams,

but I think God gives people dreams of just not, you know, I don't believe that God gives us anything that would add on to his revealed finished work, work of God. But I do believe that God gives personal revelation to people, you know, especially if he doesn't want us doing it. particular thing. And I just begin to have these very dark dreams about like demons and just like evil when it comes to just sexual perversion. Why do you say pornography itself is demonic? Because it's one, I believe that all perversion is linked to the devil. Right? So we have to

understand that that's the devil's plan from the beginning to pervert what God has made, right? And so, but it's also demonic because God created sex. He created marriage. He created a woman's body, right? And for us to engage in activity that completely goes against the nature, the design, and the character of God, but also mocks God. right Satan just Satan just doesn't want to you know

we have to look at it like this right Satan wanted God's glory like he wanted he wanted to reign like he wanted to for people to worship him right and he lost that fight when Jesus defeated him death sin

and the devil in the grave or whatever and so now we are God's living temple like like like like our temple is is is is is is how the world sees god right and so if if if if we are a representation of the god in heaven his people how much more does the enemy want to mock god's creation and so one one of the things that god show me is that no like it's not just evil because it goes against the nature of god but it's literally satan mocking bodies and sex and marriages. It's like it's it's a slap in the face to God. And it's and so I guess I'm trying to say God just revealed to me that it's so evil. It's so demonic. And the devil delights in it. And so I didn't

really see it that way. I didn't see it. I didn't see it like no like every single time I'm engaging in this. It's like the devil laughing at me. Like look at what your creation is doing. Look at these beautiful bodies you created and you thought up before they was born into the mother's womb and look at him looking at a woman being degraded and being treated like trash like and so we have to understand the the the demonic nature behind them all and so like I think when we think about it like that I think then we will see that porn is evil yeah it's evil you know what I'm saying and so like for me when I started to meditate and God's thought to show me that it was like no it's more than just you're making your wife mad or you're making your wife feel uncomfortable or I don't like it

and yada yada yada it's like no no no you have to understand what it's doing you it is warping your mind it is destroying your spirit you're angry every single day you're not a good father because you're ingesting demonic things right does it make sense when you were when you were when you were when you were when you would engage with pornography did you see it as that deep even in the in the moment you know so for you to say you're angrier or your fatherhood is being affected by it is that's something that you saw in hindsight or was that something that you were actively experiencing where he was like, I think this is messing with my brain or my son. No, no, no, I didn't because one thing I learned about the enemy and God, they both, like the enemy works, how God works,

but you just works in the perverted version of that. Oftentimes, God wants to impact us over a course of time. And but the devil was patient too. And so what I realized is watching pornography, you know, over a course of time, I start to see that, you know, I wasn't. You know, I wasn't, an affection for the things of God no more. I wasn't as patient with you when it came to our sex life. I wasn't as patient with my kids. Because I think what porn does, porn wants us and expects us to have right now results. Right.

It doesn't even, it gives us a false version of how God has even wants us to interact with human beings. You know what I'm saying? And so I think a lot of times when men watch porn, they see men who, who don't have to have patience, who don't have to be long suffering, who don't have to treat a woman with dignity and respect and honor, a woman who doesn't say no to them, right? And so when I, it started to affect my relationships because I think porn, it does a lot of things, but I think it unknowingly gives you a self of entitlement.

It's like, man, if I'm, if I'm watching an activity of men, who are not being rejected at all and having women, to be quite frank, be used as doormats, I unconsciously bring that into my relationship with my wife. I unconsciously. And so like it is more, it is psychologically,

we have to understand that the enemy just doesn't want us to be freaks. He wants to psychologically, like, affect the way we interact with other humans. And when you see a human not being, pornography is not even human. Yeah. It is inhumane.

Yeah. Right. And that's one of the reasons why I feel like it's so demonic, right? Because the enemy wants to affect many relationships using it. It's so, it's so demonic. I think something you said earlier in that I also keep hearing is how like there's some, pornography degrades the female body. Mm-hmm.

but it also degrades the male body. Yeah. Because we were in Vegas the other day and we saw exchange that looked like a prostitute got out of somebody's car and there was like, you know, a transaction and stuff like that. Yeah. And I think you said something about her, like, something about her like, man, I hope she realizes that she's worth it and some, some, some, some. And I was like, I hope he does too.

Yeah. Because I do think that we as a culture and as a society, and rightfully so, have put a lot of energy into making sure that young girls and women know that they are worthy of honor and worthy of dignity. But I don't know how much intentionality that we've put into knowing, like teaching boys and men that your body is worthy of honor too. Yeah. Because you also degrade yourself.

So it isn't just, I'm degrading this woman. I'm also degrading me. And I think that's one way you're saying. It's like, no, like, I am actively being affected by this participation. Yeah. And I don't, I think that for a lot of men, it probably doesn't feel like a degrading of the body because pornography teaches a lot of men that we should have a position of power. And a woman is just there to do everything we want her to do.

But it is. It is. God create, like, anytime you operate. outside how how God created you, your body is being misused. You are, you are being misused. That's deep. Even if you're the one who doing it, right? Yeah.

And so like if we were created for God and God created us for his glory, and this is the reason why sleeping with multiple women will never satisfy us. Because it is also, you know, and so like I say this all the time, but people always ask me, you know, how is it being married to a woman that used to be gay? You know, and we've talked about something we said on the podcast at least two times, but nobody, nobody says like, Jackie, how is it married, being married to a man that used to sleep with a bunch of women or watch porn? And we have to understand. A harlot. Right. Is harlot feminine? I don't know. But we have to understand that pornography, pornography is also.

a form of perversion. It is, it is, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's also not natural. Yes. It is literally not natural for men to sleep with multiple women. What if, so there's a lot of content online that says that monogamy is like a, a construct, right? And that like, it actually is natural for the man to, one, have sex, but also have sex with as many women as he would, like, Like, what is your defense? I don't, yeah. So one, just biblically, right? We see, one, we see that being eliminated when we see creation, right?

God created one man, right, Adam, and he took E from Adam's rib, and he told them to be fruitful and multiply, right? And so he put them in a garden, told them to guard it, yada, yada, yada. and we see that he established marriage from the beginning, one man, one woman. And one, he says in the New Testament that a man should leave his mother and father and cling to one woman, right? Ephesians 5. Even the qualifications of an elder is that he is, that he should be able to be the head of one wife, right, not multiple wives. And so consistently over and over in the scriptures we see that marriage is designed. for one man and one woman, but also too, that God just doesn't give us rules and he doesn't

reveal the practicality of those rules, right? And the logic behind those rules, because if we look at just society and baby mamas and how, you know, having multiple women and having kids with those multiple women and, you know, and how much heartbreak and disease and all of that stuff comes from it, we see that. That's the same. not God's design. Not only that, I think I said this before I can't remember, but my cousin, who's a chemical lab scientist, she literally says that every single day the most common disease is for people who don't, like, I don't mean to be nasty, but she has to like look at the liquids of people's vaginas, penises. She looks at feces and all of that stuff. And she says it's

this common disease that women get. And it's not any sexual transmitted disease. disease, it is a common disease that they get from having multiple sex partners. And I said, why is this common disease? It's not committia or nothing. She was like, no, she was like, the body was not made to have multiple sex partners. It was made to have one. And so I don't know the phrase or the, or the name of the actual bacteria that forms inside of a woman when she has multiple sex partners and even a man that we have multiple sex partners. But I believe that we were created to be with one woman. We would not create it. And so I think this is the reason why there are so many broken families, so many broken homes, so many people with fatherless, you know,

homes because we are operating outside of the way God created us to operate. And so, you know, I do think that God's design is the best design, you know, and I think that porn just emphasizes this fact that no, that if we're a man, we can go out and sleep and have many sex partners as we want. But it's like, that's why a disease is rampant. That's why broken homes are such a thing. That's why kids grow up not knowing who

they are because they don't really know who their father is because this time is stretched with so many different kids and so many different, you know, things. And so I really think that God's way is proven to be the best way. I just wanted to read something briefly just about

the dignity of the body as it relates to sexual immorality, which is 1st Corinthians 6. God cares for the body, that one. Yeah. And like the Lord has a purpose for the body. Like he's designed it for a reason. And it says verse 13,

the body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you know that your bodies are members of Christ. Shall I then take the members of Christ to make the members of a prostitute? Never. Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? I'm going to fast forward. So verse 18, flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know

that your body is a temple, a church, a cathedral of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? your own for you were brought with a price. So glorify God in your body. I think for a long time when I would read this text as related to like homosexuality and stuff like that, I would read it negatively. Yeah. Like the body is meant for the Lord, not meant for sexual immorality. And that's true. You could read it with that kind of emphasis. But I started to read it differently where I was like, oh man, God is saying that this body is so valuable to him that he's actually going to resurrect it one day. Like we're not going to enter into New Jerusalem or the new heavens and the earth disembodied.

We're not going to just be spirits floating around. But God gave us a body and God is going to resurrect this body and God is going to glorify this body. And on earth this body is a temple, a church, a building with the Holy Spirit. So God cares about the body and he wants us to share that same concern. Yeah, yeah, that's good. That's really good. You know?

So I think when you say, you know, what it was doing to you as an individual with a, because your mind is a part of your body. Your eyes are part of your body. Yeah. Everything is interconnected. Like, like, what affects us mentally? Will affect us physically? Will it affect us emotionally? Will affect us spiritually?

And that's one thing that I had to learn that, man, like, the way I'm starting to see relationships, the way I'm starting to see, God, the way, like, it affects everything. And so, like, if I'm ingesting something that is completely unnatural, completely outside of the way God has designed it, like this, my mind started to become warped and I couldn't think right. And it's crazy that when I felt like God broke that thing, you know what I'm saying? Like, it was a, maybe in a later podcast, I'll talk about more in depth, you know, and you know some of the things that God allowed to happen and be like, man, this is crazy. Like when I felt like

like God kind of free me from some things by showing me myself, showing me my neediness, I felt like my mind felt clear. I felt lighter. I felt.

And what that showed me was like I was in bondage and I didn't even know that I was in bondage. Like you can be in chains for so long that you forget what freedom feels like. Yeah. And it's like, wow. I feel lighter with my children.

I feel more free with my wife or whatever. And another thing is, I think pornography, especially in marriage, wants us to slowly but surely build up this level of discontentment. Doesn't want us content without our wives, without spouses. And vice versa, not just with women, but don't want men, don't want women to be content with their husbands. And so I was going into top of my relationships, not even realizing why I was irritated at times. It's because I'm watching something. I'm vicariously living through men who are operating this perverted version of intimacy. And I can't even enjoy real intimacy with the one God gave me.

Yeah. Right. And so it was just overall just kind of like warping my mind. We might have said this before, but I feel like this might be helpful. what will you say to the people who said, I understand what you're saying, but this is actually keeping me from adultery. Like watching this is keeping me from cheating on my wife.

I'll say it is adultery. You're not, you're not, you're not being an adulterous person because you're not sleeping with a physical body. This is the reason why Joe said, I made a covenant with my eyes to look on a woman with us. This is the reason why I says in the Bible that if you look on a woman with us,

you've already committed adultery with her. her in your heart, right? And so it is unfaithfulness, right? To lust after things in their way that, that, you know, that's not your spouse, right? And so it is, you know, is, is it, is it, is it as damaging as going out and sleeping with a physical woman? Will they hurt most women more if you actually did that? Yeah, sure.

Right. But one, I think that we have to look at it. Just because our wife might not see it as adultery, we shouldn't think about our wives, but we should think about the Lord. That should be our primary thing. And God says, in his eyes, you're committing adultery. So that's one.

Secondly, I think that you have to understand what it does to you, what we're just talking about. Because if, like, my thing was, even after we did the podcast, That's the reason why I fell back into it. And you didn't catch me. I confessed it and I told you, right? Is that the reason why I fell back into it is because I hadn't meditated on how much.

No, Preston, God cares. But that scripture you just read, I love that script. I put it in my poem, Necrophiliate. Like, I had to realize that God cared about me. Right? God cares about you. Like, he loves you. You're worth it.

You're more, you're more than pornography. Right? You're getting something. a cheap version of what you can really experience in Christ. You're experiencing a perverted version of what God want to give you in your prayer closet. And that's what I had to realize. It's like, man, when I started to get up every single morning and pray with the Lord, it's like, no, this is what I've been longing for.

Wow. I was longing for intimacy. Wow. I'm getting emotional. Yeah, I was longing for intimacy. I was longing to be filled, you know, And so more than, like, I won't say more. It hurt the Lord.

It hurt you. But I didn't even meditate on how much it was affecting me. And God had to show me, no, I care how much you're being affected. Wow. I care how much you're being like, like torn down and how much you're, how much you're not being able to be a father to eat it in autumn and how much you're not. I gave you a marriage to enjoy. and pornography is in the way of that. I want you to experience the fullness of life,

but you're so impatient with sanctification. You're running to a cheap carbon copy that's actually destroying you in all the blessings that I gave you. And so, like, I had to realize that what I was actually searching for was at my feet the whole time. Wow.

So I think that's what we have to understand. When we commit adultery, with pornography, we actually cheat on ourselves before we cheat on somebody else. Wow. You know, we cheat ourselves out of life, not a peace, not of real joy.

I don't know what else to say? All right, peace. No, we're not done. Oh, okay. I thought we were gonna... You got emotional. It was like, yeah, I'm done, I don't want to... But I didn't, it didn't fall.

No, I saw that. No, you was holding... You was holding on. Yeah, I'm a G. No, you was keeping them tears out there. I didn't have to do this. said go back in. I punked my tear.

Y'all didn't hear it without pump my said, but if you come on out, I'd knock you out if you fall in front of all these people. I don't know these people on YouTube crying in front of them. That was sweet though. We needed to see that. I got a little emotional. You did? Yeah, because I think that perspective is so helpful.

It's just such a different thing for somebody to say, stop watching porn. stop sinning, stop doing this. That has its usefulness. Like, do not, yeah, like there are imperatives in scripture, right? Don't do this. But I think the motivation is don't do this because God loves you. And he wants more for you. And something that I kind of heard underneath everything is that I was thinking about

how the Bible says that the Lord is the Lord of hosts. He's a fighter for his people. And there's a sense in which the Lord is fighting. fighting for you in the way that he's trying to sanctify you because it's like, he's like, nah, if your mind, Satan can't have you, right? And so, like, if that's the case that I'm going to even fight by, like, convicting you or stirring you up or giving you situations where you can be free from this thing. And, like, that's like, like, I feel like that's an extension of his protection.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, because God is such, he's a father, right? And he's a friend. And so like a real friend wouldn't allow their friend to indulge in something that even if like I'll look at it like this. Like I had some family members or whatever. I knew like the person that they was with was using them. They was so infatuated with this person.

But because I loved him like, no. Yeah, yeah. He's using you, sirs. He don't love you, right? You're going to end up being heartbroken. And I think God does that a lot with the vices that we run to. It is not him just being some God in heaven who's just trying to be a bossy. Like, I don't like it, so I don't want you to do it.

No, God is like, no, I don't want you to do it because it's destroying you. You don't realize how much you're decaying on the inside. But it's this, and I'm here to preserve you. And so I love God because he's such a loving God in that way that we will sin against him and he still will fight to show us how much not, not, he's showing us not. only offensive to him, right? That's the primary thing, but it's offensive to him because he created us for himself. Yeah. Yeah.

He loves us. He cares about us. And so I really had to like realize that. And so when I started to realize that, I was like, you know, porn is just not worth it. And so now I want to encourage men, right, to know how I feel about porn now, right? And to know that you can feel this way too. because when God first tap me on the wrist with porn,

I had to fight, right, to not watch it, right? I will fall into it, I'll repent. And I know a lot of men who listen to this podcast probably say, man, I fell into it. And I have to go back and repent and repent.

But if you consistently submit that thing and give that thing to the Lord, God will show you how, how disgusting it is. Right. And I think that when we realize how much something is, when we truly realize how something is, how offensive something is to a holy and righteous God, now porn for me, it's so unattractive. I don't want to be arrogant and say, for the rest of my life, I won't be tempted to ever type in something on my phone. But for me, it is literally almost like, it is the definition of returning to vomit. Because I see it as that demonic. And that was over a course of years of God, revealing to me, no, this thing is dangerous to you. It is disgusting. It is, it is, it is, decaying you from the inside out. And so like, I, like, now I see it in that way. And so I think that if you really want to be set free from porn, I think a good prayer is for you to ask the Lord,

God, show me how much this is damaging me. Truly revealed to me how much this thing is killing me, right? How much the enemy is trying to kill, not just, me, but generations. He wants to not just affect me, but he wants to affect my son and my son's son, and my daughters and my daughters, right? He wants to affect the way I father, so my kids will father in trash ways. Like, he wants to, like, when you invite something so unclean and so demonic and so perverted into your life, you have to understand the devil was playing for keeps.

Yeah. Right. But what you experience on the surface is never what you, is what's happening. happening. Yeah, yeah. It is so much spiritual implications of what, like, we have to understand that if we, if, if inviting God's purity and his righteousness and his holiness when we worship him, right, does something to our spirit, does something to our mind, does something to our whole being, inviting something that is anti-God into us, does the opposite in the spirit. We have to understand, we have to look at it as that deep. Yes, it's spiritual warfare. Right? And so you just got to

got like your 10 minute fix when your wife went to the grocery store because you watch porn and you don't even know all of the spiritual implications that the devil just, right? When I started to meditate on that, I'm like, oh, you want to, oh, you want to destroy my son. Yeah.

You want, you want, you want, you want, yeah, like you, you want, you want to impact even the way I see human so I, so I, so I, so I, so I, so I can be a effective father, affect the husband, right? Like, the enemy is playing for keeps let go that thing.

Let it go. It is not worth it. It ain't worth it. And so when I think about porn, I cannot think about the porn without thinking about all that first. And so I think that God, if we want help,

God opens our minds to allow us to see things in the way he sees it. More and more. So yeah, that's the reason why I've been able to just say no to it for three years. And I want to just let people know

like, you know, doesn't mean I'm perfect. Because when the enemy takes things, well, when God takes some things out of your life, the enemy real good at offering some new idols. Yeah. You know? That's a fact. But we got to fight. Yeah.

We got a fight. Would you mind praying for people listening who are struggling, wrestling, and just feel, they hear you, but they might not have faith to believe yet that, like, I can actually be free from this. Yeah. I want to just say this before, you know, I pray. There's some things that we indulge in and that we commit that makes us feel really condemned. And the reason why is because there are some things like pornography, homosexuality,

that it's embarrassing to confess those things. And so especially if it has a hold on you, you know, it becomes harder to confess those things because you're embarrassed, right? So you can't run to it, yada, yada, yada. And so it's easy, right? And so when you became aware of how much the thing you had a hold on me, it became easier because I had an accountability partner that lived with me, right? And a lot of people just don't have that. And so I think the first thing that we, the first temptation is to run to shame, right? But I love what Hebrews 4, 14 says.

It says that seeing now that we have a great high priest, Jesus, the son of man who was passed through the heavens, it says, for we do not have a high priest who was unable to sympathize with our weakness, but one who was tempted. In every aspect, just as we are, yet without sin, it says, therefore, comes to the throne of grace with confidence that we might find grace in helping our time of need. And when I confessed, when the Lord laid it on my heart to make that be our first podcast, like six, five, six years ago whenever it was, I immediately felt shame, right? I immediately felt like this self-condemnation. But God had to remind me that because he's a guy who just didn't sit up on his throne and watch a sin our whole life, but he's one who condescended and became a man, right? And he can empathize with my weakness. And so I want people to know that, man, maybe you're struggling with porn and you don't have anybody to run to and maybe you think that God is just tired of you. You know what I'm man?

God is not tired of you. God is not just some God who, like I said, who set up on the throne while you sin your whole life, but he's a God who became human like you. And so because he became human like you, there is unlimited grace for you at his throne. And so I say that because pornography, a lot of times can become this repetitive sin. And we feel guilty every single time we watch it. We feel guilty every single time we watch it. Guess what? God will never say, it's you again.

He will never say that. He will always welcome you back. And that's one thing that I had. And I want to say this because that's one way the enemy be getting people. He wants you to get tired of running to the throne. God ain't never going to get you. God ain't never going to be tired of you running to the throne. He's always going to accept you.

And so never get tired of running to God's, wrong because like I said, he became human like you so he can empathize with you. Yeah. Right? The second thing is it says in that passage, he was without sin. So though he was human, he knows what it feels like and he knows what it means to be perfect. And so that he can help you. And so this is the reason why in the end of the verse it says you can find grace and help there.

Right. And so run to Jesus, do not run to shame. Don't want to self condemnation, but keep running to Jesus. And if you keep running to him over time, he will help you more and more and more. And so that's my testimony. I'm not strong within myself. I didn't stop running to Jesus. Yeah.

Right. And so I want to encourage people with that. So let's pray. The Heavenly Father, Lord, I thank you, Father, for this podcast. there's so many men and women who struggle with pornography, who struggle with reading things that's not pure, even looking at sensual things that's not pure that's affecting their relationship with you,

their relationship with their spouse, the relationship with their loved ones. And it's also affecting them. And so God, I just pray, Father, that you and your kindness will remind them that you are a present help in that time of trouble. that you will never get tired of them running to you. I pray God that you will consistently convict us of sin and righteousness, Lord.

I pray God for the person who is in bondage. I pray God that you will send someone's people in their life that they can talk to and confess into. I pray God that you will use this podcast, but also after this podcast is over that you will reveal to your creation, how much porn affects you and affects the heart of God and affects us, Lord. I pray, God, that you will show us your heart for us, that we would choose righteousness and holiness and real peace and real joy over the things that gives us temporary satisfaction. I pray, God, that you will give us help, God, that you will send a present help,

God, for the people who are currently struggling with this. I pray, God, that you will deliver marriages, God, the marriages that that's listening to this podcast, I pray God, that you will encourage them and that you will strengthen them, that you won't allow wives who have husbands who struggle with this to take it personal, even though it is offensive and even though it is hurtful, but they will see it as a spiritual fight and not that they're not good enough, that they're not women enough, that they're not more than enough of their husband, and even vice versa. I pray God that you would destroy the lies that pornography creates and relationships

and that we will all see you for who you are and in seeing you and who you are we will see ourselves who we are. I actually see you. Peace. You did that.

With the Paris is produced by the pairs with support from Amanda Reed and Channing McBride. Video recording and audio production by Kim Powell, Abishai Perez, and Xavier Fairley. Edited by the team at Tread Lively, artwork by Hop and Music by Suite. Thank you for

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