With The Perrys - Stewarding Influence and Liberties

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

How do you steward your influence? This is a valuable question for every Christian. If you’ve been called out of darkness into His marvelous light, that is your platform to display His goodness. You have influence, even if you’re not a public figure, and others are watching. The Perrys discuss what it looks like to steward your time, finances, resources and relationships too. Subscribe to the Perrys' newsletter: https://withtheperrys.myflodesk.com/zhfus4jx1s Join Preston's discipleship community for men: https://www.patreon.com/PrestonPerry/membership To support the work of the Perrys, donate via PayPal: https://paypal.me/withtheperrys Shop BOLD Apparel: boldapparel.shop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jesus Jesus. What song is that that starts with that? How I love you. How how I let's do it again. Jesus, Jesus. How I love you. How I need you more and more. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know why that came to my mind. I don't know either. I don't know why our son is so loud. He doesn't want to go to sleep. Oh my gosh. So he's just going to be a part of the audio. And that just is what to be a situation. Yeah, we don't have a studio.

We record in our house if you're listening. Yep. You heard my stomach. This is real life. I did just hear your stomach. It's like a rioter's in there. When are you going to eat, Bucco? Well, we're done recording. So we were on...

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, can I kill this fly? And don't edit this out. This is real life. So for those who are listening on audio, is grabbing this plastic gun called Bug Assault, which basically is used as a weapon against flies. Yeah. And I kind of think he's letting go. of some rage through it.

Okay. So look, here's the thing. Did you know flies, they don't actually have mouths. They have like little horns. And when they land on your food, they puke like an acid through the little horn that liqueifies your food

to break it down so they can slurp it back up. That's the fact I didn't need. It's very disgusting. It's a fly on my foot. Oh, my gosh. So now pressing this, trying to grab the gun to kill the fly that is on the top of his foot. Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on. Got him. And he's dead. Got him. I wish the cameraman can get that one right there. He ain't did, dead. Uh-uh.

Now he did. That's two of them. Oh, he's like Lazarus. Look at that. Now he did. All right. What are we talking about today? Here's my problem with you killing these flies, though.

He's still struggling. You don't pick them up. Huh? Because I want their homies to come in here and see their family members on the floor. I'm like, we shouldn't stay here. You literally can't kill flies and not pick them up. Like we don't have children walking around. I can see.

That's how we got a dog for. The thing is still alive. Look, he is too legit to quit. Hammer! No. He is too legit to quit. bang my goodness yeah it's like the anna set it off Jesus

when quillot tifa was like she was getting shot up she took the most bullets she really did I've ever seen anybody doing a movie her braids were nice we were on tour and during our VIP sessions we actually were able to discover a lot of good topics because the questions that people would ask us we didn't necessarily have the space to like flesh it out to the degree that we would have wanted to.

And so like during VIP, I would like make notes of stuff. And one of the questions in LA was this question around how do you steward your influence? Yeah. And I feel like that's a valuable question and a meaningful one, not even for people who are influential in the public space, but for every Christian. Yeah. Because every Christian is influential. Absolutely. And every Christian has a platform. Correct. You know, I think a lot of times we look at platform as size. But it's like, no, like if you are on social media, that's a platform. If God is giving you a voice in your community, that's a platform.

And you're a Christian. If you've been called out of darkness in this light, you know, into his marvelous light, you know, that's a platform to display his goodness. And so I think Storn and influence, I go another fly. Let it go. Okay. influence you hear how it's pronounced influence influence influence they got a southern version influence influence um the definition of influence that was so random i'm so confused the definition of influence is the power or capacity of causing an effect in indirect or intangible ways

to a is the act or power of producing an effect without apparent exertion of force or direct exercise of command. Hmm. What does that sound like to you? A lot of jibber jabber. So the power or capacity of causing an effect. Yeah. So we have impact.

Yeah. So in any relationship, in any space, in any, yeah, like on your job, in your family, all the things, you have the power and the capacity to cause and effect. Yeah. And I think in the question of how to steward influence, it's what kind of effect are we trying to cause? Yeah. Yeah. And so I think, I think one, for me, when did I even realize that influence was a thing?

It might have been when I became a Christian who was also being put in positions of leadership really early. Because, you know, like when you're in the world, you're influential, but you don't care about the influence like that unless it serves you. Yeah. Right. So I'm going to influence you, you know, to roll these blunts correctly, okay? Oh my gosh. I'm going to influence you to be like, hey, you know, you want to go to the club. Like, I'm going to influence you to take more shots.

That was the kind of, that was the way I stewarded influence before Christ. You were a little sinner. I was ratchet. But I wasn't even as ratchet as other people. Right. I just was. I like to have fun and feel good. In Christ, when I became a Christian.

I think my influence became oriented around discipleship, around faithfulness, and I think when you add the leadership component on it, it takes it up a whole other notch because it's like, oh, there's a standard of influence that I also have to live up to. You know what I'm saying? So I think it became about love more than anything. I think the first time that I realized that I had influence, I wasn't in the Christian space. Like I didn't, you know, I wasn't a poet yet. none of that.

I was when you left the church and everybody left with you. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know the story. I mean, but yeah, my, the first church, you know, that I was in that I got, I became a Christian in.

I just started to learn a lot outside of the church. And I remember one of the main leaders, especially saying, you know, you need to think about how you leave because when you leave, others will, like, all the young people will leave.

And I'm like, that's not true. Like, you being paranoid. And I left and then they all left, the same month. And I just remember that shocking me. Like, wow, I have influence. And God has just kind of made me be a leader. And I think a lot of times when we think about influence in relationship to leadership,

I think people think like when I become popular is when I become a leader. Yes. And I don't necessarily think that that's true. I think God makes us leaders. Yeah. Right. And gives us leadership qualities. And then I think oftentimes, and I think the danger and not storing your influence properly is when people become popular when they don't know how to be a leader first.

Well, I think one of the fundamental basic tenets of my stomach is so loud. Of stewarding your influence is one recognizing that you have it. Yes. Because I think we can feel as if our actions. actions don't directly affect other people. I think a more biblical term might be witness. Like what is, what are we communicating about Christ, about the word, about the Christian faith, about love, about truth, and how we show up in our relationships on our jobs, on our campuses, all the things. And I think a really helpful text on this is even First Corinthians eight and nine.

Like if you read through it, you see Paul is having this conversation about food, like food that has been like, should we eat food that was like sacrificed to idols and all the things? Because they would sacrifice the food, take something back, eat it, all the stuff. And Paul goes on to say in chapter nine about like how he has rights that he surrenders for the sake of influence. You know what I'm saying? Like he says in verse 19, for though I am free from all, I have made my sense. a servant to all that I might win more of them. So it's like he moves and does certain things and doesn't do certain things all based on the fact that he knows that what he does has influence. Right. And so I think the difficult part of being influential in whatever capacity God has made you

influential is that it requires you to be a servant. Yeah. To be mindful. Yeah. I'm saying. Because like what is one of the first times or what is a time that you, you had to surrender a right for the sake of influencing someone in a positive direction. Yeah, for sure. I mean, they're, you know, I think. Because our whole life is this. Yeah. Yeah, it's like I'm trying to think about the first time.

I think because it's all, all the time. There are certain things that I won't post on social media, not because it's sinful, but because I think the way I exercise my Christian liberties as an influencer, and as a Christian leader matters, right? And so, like, I think, you know, even, you know, like, not posting stuff for the sake of arguments, when it might get it in the way of what God is trying to like. Because a lot of times, you know, I won't post something

because I know that that will be the topic of discussion and not what God told me to do in that season. What do you mean? So, for example, like, like, I think storming influences is saying, man, if God, if God this month and the next month, he's really put it in your heart to teach people about the Trinity. Like I've had seasons of that. Like Christians don't know how to explain that God is triune.

Now, if I post a liberty, you know, on my, on my page, that might not be having a drink. It's like me having a drink or me, you know, doing something that a large, of the Christian community might think it's problematic. It draws so much attention away from what God told me to do. Now everybody's coming to my page to argue, not learn about the Trinity. And now it overshadows actually what God told me to do. And so I think that's just the wrestle that the Christian has who is in a leadership position and who has influence. It's like you have to be wise in the battles that you pick. Because the battles which you pick is not you merely just trying to escape conflict

for conflict sake. It is, man, like sometimes the enemy can even leverage these, you know, arguments and, you know, and, you know, and unfortunate, you know, battles on, on line to kind of like stray you away

from what God told you to do. And so I think for me, it is always that. It is, it is like walking in a level of wisdom that says, man, the public doesn't necessarily need to see every aspect of my, my personal life.

They just need me to serve them well. Yeah, it kind of can be framed in the context of like the weaker, stronger brother in First Corinthians 8. When we talk about being mindful of others and how we show up and what we do. Yeah. Like, because in verse 10, he says verse 9 in chapter 8, but take care that this right of yours, so the right to basically eat food that is offered to idols, he's saying, it's not sinful to eat food that is offered to.

to idols, that's a conscience issue, but take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. For if anyone sees, therefore, it's influenced, anyone sees who sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol's temple, will he not be encouraged if his conscience is weak to eat food offered to idols? And so by your knowledge, this weak person is destroyed and the brother from whom Christ dies. So there's this concept of, there are some things that are not even a wicked problematic issue. But if I am considering my brother as better than myself, then I might need to withhold or restrain or just move different for their sake.

Yeah. And this is, yeah, that's really good. This is also kind of like leaning into like a Christian liberty kind of conversation. Definitely. Yeah. But I think, I think they hold hands in a lot of ways, right? Because I think. It's a fly on your head.

It is. My goodness. They are everywhere. Yeah. I think one of the things. Still on your head. Sheesh. Now it's on your head.

Oh. Oh, I should kill this. Must because we're dead, dead to sin and alive to Christ. Get it? Yeah, this conversation is kind of leaning into like a Christian liberty conversation. Rush, I think, you know, they definitely hold hands. And I think, you know, stewarding your Christian liberty is important. One, I think we have to define it because I've heard a lot of people say, you know, don't do this because, you know, it's going to be.

a stumbling block to your brother. Well, one, I think context is, like, you know, if your brother, if you know your brother has a drinking problem, or if you know people in this region have a problem with idolatry, don't do anything that might look like idolatry. Or if your brother has a problem with alcohol. Like, you're moving according to knowledge, not necessarily assumptions. Absolutely, right? And so like, or fear of man. Yeah. And so if, if I want to drink a glass of wine, I think the Bible lets us know that that's one of my Christian liberties. But if I know a brother struggles with alcohol and he comes in my house that night, maybe I should keep the wine in the cupboard.

Right. So that's basically what it's saying. Or if it's a discipleship thing, we've had conversations where I might have newer believers over the house. And I'm like, can you not get a drink while we hang out with them? Absolutely. And it's not because drinking is wrong. and is not because I don't, I actually also think newer believers should have opportunity to see what it's like to partake in alcohol with self-control. Yeah, absolutely. And not drunkenness.

Because I also think that's a discipleship issue. But for that particular moment, it was like, I want to give them experiences to know that they've just come out of the world where drinking was always central to all community and fellowship. Yeah. And so I want to train them to have the, the vision that, no, you can have fun and have conversation to have joy without drinking being central to it. So to me, my mind was it, alcohol is bad, don't want them to see it drinking. It's where they are in their walk at this point, I think they need to see a different kind of fellowship. Now, I can imagine that being confusing to somebody who's listening to me, like, man, like the Bible gives us permission to drink alcohol. Well, drunkenness is saying.

Drunkenness is insane. They call Jesus, they accused him of drunkenness, which implies that he was drinking wine. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And also, too, you know, even if we look, and I know this is not an episode about, you know, alcohol and Christian. The comments are just, that's what it's about to become. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is. It is. It is.

But, like, it is a liberty that we should stew it well. But when we look at it, like the first miracle that Jesus did was he turned water into wine. And one of the, one of the, like, context, you know, details in their story is one of the reasons why him doing it was so impressed. is because when they gave the master at the, at the, at the wedding, the actual wine, he was impressed how strong it was. Because historically, what happened in Jewish weddings is the, the parents of the bride were bought all of the alcohol, right? And if they didn't have a lot of money, if they weren't rolling in the dough,

they would bring out the strong wine first. And then later on, they would bring out the weaker wine. And so when they gave, when Jesus turned water and wine, later in the, wedding party, he said, man, you actually, you actually save the, the wedding here, right? Right? Because usually what happens is they bring the strong wine out first. And when everybody has your drunk in their feel, meaning which everybody's on their level, you know what I'm saying? We bring the weaker wine because, oh my gosh. What?

That is so random. I just felt like, I need, I need, I need one. one of them, you know what I need moving forward in this podcast. I need a DJ table right next to me where I could just cue songs. Yeah. Let me read it real quick. This is John two starting at the starting at the best wine. The ninth. That's how he said it. The 10th verse. No, what is the ninth verse? Why are you looking for it? You were so random. This is what it says. It says when the master of the feast tasted the water now become wine, he did not know where it came from. Right. Though the servants had drawn the water and knew, right? So Jesus turned water into wine.

They didn't know that Jesus did this in the back, but Jesus basically saved them because to run out, to run out of wine in this cultural context is a very shameful thing. And so Jesus shamed them, not shamed them, but he, you know, spared them like the public embarrassment of running out of wine, right? And then he says, the mass of the feast called the bride room and said, everyone serves good. wine typically, right? When people have drunk freely, then the poor wine, right? And so Jesus actually, like, this lets us know that, no, Jesus actually, this was real wine. This wasn't grape juice. It was, it was drink that got people on their level. And, but like at the same time, like, we know in our cultural context, it's a liberty, but we have to steward that liberty, you know, accordingly. We can't just brain wine out when we don't know if this is struggle for people.

When we don't know if people struggle with alcoholism, we don't know what people struggle with, you know, even the idea, like I think also too storn of your influence, if you around new believers, it's not necessarily a matter of hiding it from them. I don't think you should hide it. Yeah, but being ready to have those conversations and explain, you know, and teach. Because somebody could say, you know, well, on y'all socials, It's not like you, it can come across like y'all hide that you drink. And it's like, no, that's just, again, that's the avenue of stewarding influence.

Because if you're in my life, you know, you know what I'm saying? Because we can talk through stuff. You know my life. You see my degree of self-control. I know where you are, like all the stuff. Like social media, if you got 10,000 followers, that's like some stuff ain't for social media because there's, it's too much room for confusion. Yeah, absolutely. And so I think some stuff is just like you just got to be careful on that.

But I think my question is how do you steward influence without also being a slave to men? Right? Because you have some people that don't move in certain ways, not even on some wisdom, but on some fear. Yeah. I think I'm afraid to be free. I don't know if this answers your question, but I also want to just touch on this. I remember one time I was in Toronto and somebody asked me, I didn't bring it. up somebody asks me the question about alcoholism and so of course alcoholism not alcoholism just

alcohol like can we drink whatever and so what'd you what you what you call it can we drink no what how you put down why y'all we're trying to put me a blast goodness gracious i just i just alcoholism out alcohol alcohol somebody talking there is a l in there liquor that's the ill i was looking for that You got to be Chicago. This man said alcohol. A alcohol. Alcohol. Go ahead.

But, yeah, somebody asks me about drinking. And I answered the question, honestly. I think I brought that passage up and I explained them. Jesus actually turned water into like real wine. It was like they got on their level. And somebody followed up by saying, I'm sorry, I can't speak today. They was like, are you stowing it? influenced well here by even even explaining that to the crowd.

Like, and it's almost, it's almost like they're saying like, you shouldn't talk about it. You shouldn't talk about it. And you should like hide it. And this is like, no, like if it's in God's word, he didn't hide it. Yeah. Like we should teach it. Like, stewarding influence is not not talking about things because you think Christians can't handle it. Right.

Because that's the same reason. Yeah, that's not, that's not. that's not loving. That's the same reason people don't even know what to do with sex. Yes. Right? Because you've had years and years of the church thinking if we just refrain from talking about sex and sexuality, then that will actually protect people from like pursuing it. Absolutely. The world is talking about this. And so most of us have been trained and instructed even on the subject of sexuality by the world first before we got it from the church. And so why should, like, why shouldn't we show people and talk about and discuss topics that help people to think through

things that they're going to come in contact with? Absolutely, which was my point. It's like, what I told the young lady, I was like, I don't serve people by hiding the Word of God. That's not a service to them. My job as a teacher is to explain the scriptures in context. And I think the reason why we grow accustomed to avoiding things is because we think that the same Holy Spirit that works in us is not working in a new believer. Yeah, I think we're. And it's like, no, like what the truth is, God's spirit is also. I think we're scared. I think there's a fear that if we discuss certain things or do certain things or walk in certain liberties, then we are giving people license to abuse it. Yeah.

But I think that is what community is for, right? Where if you see someone taking advantage of a liberty or doing a little bit too much on something, then you actually have a conversation to correct it. And so you don't fix the problem by avoiding the problem. You make sure like, you know what I'm saying? Like you have a conversation. But I think, I think, I think another avenue or another liberty that I personally have applied that I talked about on my stories one time is clothing to a certain degree and particularly clothing that has like names on it. You know what I'm saying? And I remember feeling like when I started to buy certain items that could be a flex, I was like I'm never, I'm not going to say never, but you will rarely,

if ever see me preach or teach on a stage in something that could flaunt wealth. Yeah. Yeah, I just got attacked the other day. About what? I was in London and I have a Gucci bag. And I wore it. And the guy was like, this caption is a contradiction because he has a Gucci bag on. And the thing that I said to him, I was like, well, man, like, one, that's a liberty that I have to wear my Gucci bag.

But also, too, I'm not known for wearing name brands. I'm not known for having Gucci in Louis Vuitton because I practically made in my business not to wear names that would just communicate wealth, wealth, wealth, wealth, wealth, because I think it can overshadow the gospel. For sure. But, you know, I do think that like it can be a stumbling block. It can be a stumbling block. I don't know if it's a stumbling block as much as it's a distraction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know if it's a stumbling.

I think it can be a distraction. because I think it could be a stumbling block in the sense that like if we flound in this verse if we flonning in a way where people are following us I think a lot of people want God to obtain possessions sure so if you if you present it in that way like you can communicate no if you come to God got to give you material things instead of himself and so I think it could be a stunt potentially be a stumbling block in that way so here's the scripture that's influencing that it's 1 Timothy 2.9, likewise, also that women should adorn themselves in respectful apparel with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls

are costly attire. Okay. And so he's talking to Timothy about how the church, so he's talking about local church. He's not talking about if they go out to eat with their friends or whatever, whatever, like this is how the church should be ran and should be function. And a lot of times, we primarily focus on the modesty or the mention of modesty in this verse as it relates to don't wear your stomach out or don't have your thighs out or don't have too much breasts out. But modesty also applies to displays of wealths. Yeah. Right. And so costly attire, he's like, I don't want to create an opportunity where distinctions are made within the congregation based on the amount of money that you have, right?

Yeah. Where you look better so you therefore get treated better. I don't want there to be opportunities for favoritism or all the stuff. And so like, I think for me, I've tried to apply that in my teaching. Yeah. Or even at church, like, it's a bug on your head. Like, I want to, I don't want to influence people in a direction that centers money. Yeah.

I like stuff. I like clothes. I like bags. I like shoes. and I'm going to buy it. I'm going to wear it. But there are a certain circumstance. Okay.

He has the gun on my head for everyone watching Spotify or listen to Spotify. Are you done? He gone. I got him. I saved your life. He's from laying on your head. I like clothes and stuff like that. I like all of that.

But I've decided for the sake of my own conscience that when I'm in a local community or a local church, I will limit the kind of things. things that I wear just to ensure that there is no, you know. Yeah. And what I hear you saying. And that's not out of fear. No. I think it's how.

Like, it's not fear of man. Yeah. Honestly, it's legit love. Yeah. It's legit. It's legit love. It is rooted in the deep wisdom. And I think a lot of times when we see how God is calling us to steward our influence,

it is not a sinful thing to do these things. God is just saying, you know, stewarding influence. is not a sinful matter, but it's a wisdom thing. Sometimes. Yeah, sometimes. Because like for you, it's not sinful for you to, to buy a name brand that's expensive if God is giving you the money to do it. But it is, it's probably not the wisest thing to get on stage and to preach in front of

that because that can be a distraction to somebody who's actually trying to hear the word. Maybe. They might be lit, they might be looked like so fixated on your, your clothes. to the point where they can't receive a message and also too. I don't want to, I don't want us to turn this in such a way where people who do wear certain brands while preaching and teaching are looked like, oh, they're not being worse. So I don't want people.

I do think it's a conviction thing. I do think, yeah, I do, I think that scripture, you just say it. I think the scripture needs to be considered. Yeah, yeah. I think for those who are in leadership, influential preaching, teaching decisions, and even, and even anybody who has some measure of wealth, I think we have to consider how we flaunt it. Absolutely.

That is a thing, especially in Atlanta where you have a lot of entrepreneurs and stuff like that. So it's not that God doesn't want you to dress nice and stuff. Like when you look at the priest, the priest was dressed down. You get what I'm saying? Yeah. That's cool. It's just consider, think about, pray about, like how you do it, when you do it, where you do it.

Yeah, because a lot of, you know, like the commands. and the instruction that God give us. It's not a necessary scent issue, but it's a wisdom issue because a lot of the things can lead to sin. A lot of things can lead to confusion. I go back to the alcohol thing, well, the liquor thing. I'm not saying it right, right? I'll go back to the liquor thing.

Like, right? Like drunkenness is an issue. So if drunkenness is an issue, we have to be able to store liquor in a way that says, I'm going to drink and I'm going to display soberness. Mm-hmm. Right? And if I don't do that, I teach people,

I might, I might can teach people about the people of God, you know what I'm saying, that it isn't true, right? And so like if one of the fruits of the spirit is self-control, it's like, how can I display self-control while still doing it? Because that actually gives glory to God, right? And so how we do things matters, right? Like how we display things matter what the world sees matter. And I think this is the reason why people a lot of times get caught up in legalism because they actually think the doing is the sin. And it's like, no, God gives, it's more nuance than that. Like God gives us application and God gives us things to do for a reason. He's not just saying doing these things are simply, you know, inherently sinful. It is just like, no, sometimes doing things can teach people about God that's not true. And so like it's important how we- Flesh that out because I got a little confused. Well, I'm sorry. So like, for example, I think sometimes people might be like alcohol is sinful. Like drinking is sinful. Drinking is sinful. Drinking is bad. bad, bad, bad.

And it's like they put this. That's not in scripture. Yeah, they put the, they put the sin in the act and not, and not what happens when we don't do it properly. Correctly, yes. Right? And so, and so we, we, it's so much legalism goes into it because we actually think the consumption of alcohol is sin and not what comes when we don't do it with self-control.

Right. That's like drunkenness is a sin, right? Because when we are drunk, it is, it's harder for us to display the glory of God. The Bible says don't be drunk with wine, but we filled. With the Holy Spirit, right? And so when we drunk, we sleep with people that we didn't want to sleep with that night. Right? When we're drunk, right?

We say things that dishonor our brother. When we drunk, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, alcoholics or whatever, it affects our body in a way that can kill us, right? And so everything has to be done with self-control. And so I think that we sometimes we put so much sin. we put the sin in the actual doing and we don't pay attention to how God tells us to do it. That's good. Like the how always matters to God because the how is connected to the heart.

You know what I'm saying? How do you steward your influence as a parent? That's a good question. Yeah, I think for me, a big part of storing my influence as a parent is how I love you. That's good. I think for me, like when I had daughters, I don't want to just, like, tell my children that I love you, but I want to show them like love. But also, too, I want to store influence before my daughters to show them that this is how you should expect a man to love you. Like, I don't want my daughters to grow up wondering what love looks like from a man.

Like I want them to grow up knowing that no, like my dad loved my mom. You know one of my biggest insecurities as a parent when it comes to what I'm influencing my children in is how much I'm on my phone. Like that's it's an insecurity and it's something I need to change that I've, I think I've had seasons of success because everything is happening on my phone. right so it's not even just social media i'm reading on my phone i'm banking on my phone i'm answering e-mails on my phone i'm putting my schedule together on my phone i'm paying bills on my phone but to them it just looks like mommy is always on her phone yeah and i've been thinking through like how hypocritical it will be when they get their own phones for me to say don't be on it all day i'm about your sidekick I've been thinking about that.

I'm like, they're going to be like, yeah, you trained us to be on our phones all day. Because that's all you do. Yeah. And I remember. They see you read a lot though. Like physical books. Yeah. But also even on my phone, I'm like, when you hear stories of people who grew up with Christian parents, they're like, yeah, I remember, you know, waking up to see my mom in the word.

And it's like, I'm in the word more than they know, but it's because I'm doing it on my phone. Yeah. And I'm like, maybe I need. to actually start bringing my, like reading my tangible Bible at home more often for the sake of my children being able to see their mom in the word and not just in her phone. Does it make sense? Yeah, I told myself I was going to do that with you. So that's a, that's an insecurity of mine that I'm sharing publicly because I think that's a matter of influence. Like, it is. I'm training them to do the things. What other ways do you think that, um, you have stewardship influence as a, as a,

parent? I think it's a lot. I think the way I speak to you, I think our home, like, what are you like? Because I just, I don't know. I'm sorry. I didn't even mean to laugh out.

What was that about? What came up? Because we have a family member. Oh. Who was speaking, who was going crazy on her, on her husband. And our, I think, I don't know how old she was.

She was like three. She was like three, four. So she was like, what did she say again? She said, don't talk to him like that. My mommy doesn't talk to my daddy like that. So you shouldn't talk to your husband like that. Which was encouraging because she's being influenced to have a concept of how men and women should interact. That's good.

It encouraged me too. So I think, yeah, how I interact with you, how I speak with you. I think even stuff like one of the things I enjoy about our home is that our children. children get to see different people in it all the time. Yeah. Like our friends or people from church or people we're like trying to get to know. Like they get to see fellowship. Yeah.

And they get to hear what it is. So it's like I love the fact that when my kids are around me, I don't have to start shushing. Yeah. I don't have to like talk different. Like my kids hear when me and my friends are talking what we're talking about. Yeah. Sometimes. He didn't be a little nosy.

Sometimes I'd be talking about people a little bit, and I'm like, ooh, you got to rain that in for the sake of your heart and for your child, you know, like, I think I like, like I even told you on July 4th, you had a video of August next to you while you were out on the deck with like a bunch of dudes. And I'm like, isn't that cool that your son can be next to you and you know that he's being influenced about what godly masculinity is? Yeah.

That you don't have to put away the blind or, put away this or change the music. We don't talk about women right now. It's like, no, we're all actually talking about our lives. You're still being authentically free. You don't have to change up because you're already changed. And so like your son can be in the presence of that and be influenced in a particular way. So I think that's, I think, I think just how you live like, because when it talks about

parenting in Deuteronomy, where is it at? Okay. So like in Deuteronomy in chapter six, it says, You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. Okay. So it needs to be in you. You need to be this person.

Verse seven. You shall then teach them. What's not a then? You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way. And when you lie down and when you rise, you shall bind them as sign on your hand. They shall be as frontless between your eyes. Meaning like verse six, verse five and six,

plays a part in your ability to do verse seven and eight, right? Like you're not going to teach them diligently to your children or talk about them when you sit down or when you walk by the way if you don't love the Lord or God with all your heart, mind, and soul. And so it's like how you are as a disciple influences the way you influence. Yeah, that's good. That's basically what I'm saying. And so like, I think raising your children up in Christ means that you have to be diligently growing in Christ. Yeah. And I love that you said. Which is hard. hard and hard. And I love that you said that because I love that I say this all the time. The Christian faith is so encouraging to me because our God condescended and became a man to display this

himself. Right. Right. And so like when we see Jesus who had a lot of influence, Jesus, he was famous, right? And not only was he famous, his disciples were famous. They were known. And during his three-year missionary journey, his fame grew quickly. But we see him consistently, like even when the crowd drew, going across the other side of the river to go away, to pray, to go before his father, right? To seek his father. And so like

even the son of man displayed that in order for me to store this influence, this earthly influence, right, there has to be a withdrawing from people. It has to be redrawing from crowds. There has to be a communing with my father in order for me to do this work. That's good. Right. And so I think for us,

like I think that's a big part of Stewarding influence. It's like, man, you cannot. I even say it in evangelism. People will be like, the number one thing people say in my evangelism videos is Preston, you are so patient. And I tell people that came for failure. It came from failure.

But it also came from me. Like, I remember days before I would go out, I will beg God to take impatience away from me. I will beg God to take away anger away from me. Because people don't make you do anything. They just bring what's in you out. And so in order for me not to display this. and ruin my influence in my videos,

there has to be a giving to the Lord. There has to be saying like, Lord, I'm not naturally a patient person. Help me. And so a lot of our influence starts in the quiet place. That's good. A lot of our influence starts in our closet. It starts with personal intimacy with the Lord.

What do you, I'll answer by sharing a story. I think one of the hardest things to do when it comes to influence is when you have influenced somebody negatively. Yeah. And making that right. So I think when you are a leader in any capacity, I think you have to make that type of stuff right.

And that's hard. So I remember when glory was happening, I wasn't moving as, it wasn't kind. I wasn't as present when it came to certain people on the team. And it was because I was just really focused on doing what I had to do. So I would show up. Gloria is her conference that she ran. I would show up, say hi, how you doing?

And then just kind of zone out, right? And I remember when Dr. Sarita came on, she challenged me about that. And she was like, as a leader, you can't just go inside of yourself. Like you have to like be present and intentional and all the stuff. And I remember it felt like a blind spot that I didn't see. Like I really didn't realize that I was like lacking love in the way that I was leading. And so like I pulled the team together and I just apologized and cried. Like I was like, I'm sorry.

Like I didn't mean to, you know, miss you or not see you or not ask about you. And it's like that's humbling. It's humiliating. But that also is a form of influence. Is people seeing how you rebound after like doing something wrong. Like people need to not just see your vision. but also your repentance. That is a very influential thing because I think there's,

I think there's power, even though it's painful. I think there's power and people seeing how you respond to your mistakes. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I think there's, I think a big part of Stuart and our influence is humility. I don't think that people need to see us be perfect because we're not. I think they need to see that you have a dependency on a perfect God. And so I think that's like that actually encourages people more than we we probably understand.

Like I told the story before, you know, on the podcast when I was talking about, you know, the book or whatever, how I was led to the Lord is by saying the dude who led me to the Lord fail. Like in his moral failure, I saw a great dependency on the Lord and it showed me I don't depend on God like that. Yeah. And so I think God gets glory, you know, not out of our perfection, but our dependency, right? And so I think that like when we have like and that only comes with humility. Yeah. Like when we are humble, we realize that no, I'm not perfect. I can't do everything on my own.

And so that there has to be a great dependency on the Lord to help me. And I think people are like they're blessed by that. God is glorified. But what's crazy is even the humility that I try. I am not a humble person. but the humility that I try to walk in comes by way of me being influenced by humble people. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? So it's not even... It's not correct you, though. You are a humble person. Christ is humble through me. No, no, no. I just told you yesterday that I am so arrogant and I need God's help to be...

But can I encourage you, though? Humble. It's so much humility. And when you told me that, it wasn't you fishing for a compliment. No. It wasn't you. Listen,

it wasn't you fishing for a compliment. That's what I got in the secret place. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't you fishing for a compliment. A servant is not greater than his master. I said, you are right, savior. Right. It wasn't,

it wasn't you fishing for a compliment. Wash feet. It wasn't you trying to be fake humble. I don't know. Who feet is. Because a lot of people, a lot of people be humble, but they'd be proud about it.

I'm so humble. It's like, actually, you're not. They'd be saying humble. I'm so humble. You need to be humble. About your pronunciation. Oh, lowest me. Lowest me.

And it's like, no, you actually, the people that, you know, the Bible talks about, like, you pray in front of everybody so everybody can see. And like, you need to fast and go wash your face and let nobody know about it. Yes. You know, but like, I've seen you, like, pursue God. And I've seen you cry out for humility. And I've seen him answer. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? So, like, I think. I need some more. I think, yeah. I think all the ways in which. you don't feel humble is that the Lord showing you the parts of you that that's not like him yeah but in that you become so much like him you've you've apologized when you're wrong you've had so many hard conversations this year um you've stewarded your influence i think privately in many ways

better than you have publicly which as your husband i think i'm just really proud of you for that you've Like, like, you've had so many hard conversations. You've, you've, you've, you've apologized when you were not in the wrong. You've apologized even when people made you cry. And, like, I think, man, I think God is, it's very pleased with you because I know I am. So. I received that. Yeah, thanks.

That's humility. Yeah, that's humility. I'm working on receiving. You've, you've had a little rough season, bucko. No, life has been hard. But you, you're a humble, you're a humble woman. But I just want to add the point I was trying to make is that you also learn humility by way of influence. Like Paul said, follow me as I follow Christ.

And so I think having good, humble, godly leaders, good, humble, godly friends, good, humble, godly resources even can all influence us in a direction that's more Christ-oriented than not. For sure. For sure. I think that's it. This is a good conversation. I think so. We could have said more, but you got a pack. Yeah.

And you pretty. Thank you. I'm a kiss off the list while I leave for the airport. Bye y'all. Peace. With the Parys is produced by the Parys with support from Amanda Reed and Channing McBride, video recording and audio production by Kim Powell, Abyshae Perez, and Xavier Fairley, edited by the team at Tread Lively, artwork by Hop and Music by Swoop.

Thank you for listening. Now go with God.