With The Perrys - Storytime with Jackie

Episode Date: November 14, 2022

8 balls, tube socks, and rocks—OH MY! Jackie recounts stressful (and somewhat traumatic) moments from her life before Christ that bring the Perrys to the point of uncontrollable (happy) tears. Book Reference: Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry Subscribe to the Perrys' newsletter: https://withtheperrys.myflodesk.com/zhfus4jx1s Join Preston's discipleship community for men: https://www.patreon.com/PrestonPerry/membership To support the work of the Perrys, donate via PayPal: https://paypal.me/withtheperrys Shop BOLD Apparel: boldapparel.shop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, Saints, how are you? How y'all doing out there? What up? What up? Out there. Out there. I was real St. Louis for like a quick minute. You weren't.

You were more Memphis. But how are you? They sound like, they say there too. But there is like, it's like lr. I can't explain it. I'm not from there. Why you do it? It's just, it's a bit rounds.

I'm not, I don't know how to do it. I'm really excited about this podcast. Why? The reason why is because the last couple of times I'm selling you, if we ever do a podcast with, Jackie Desert story time is going to be lit. And you kept saying, I don't have... No, lit is not the word.

Yeah, it's kind of like out of style, too. I shouldn't say lit. It is. But it's like... It's not like a real whole cornball. It's like a swag. I'm swaggy. Go ahead.

No, I kept telling you, you have great stories. You do. And it's like, no, you have all the stories. You're the storyteller in the family. I don't have that many stories, but the few I have, I guess, are worth telling. No, they're really good. Okay. What's the first one you want to tell?

You do it. You leading this ship. Okay. See, which I don't understand. The dynamic of 30 Minutes with the Paris. If you've noticed, it is Jackie driving the ship with her questions. But if he wants me to tell stories, that means he needs to do it. Okay.

So I think the first story that you should tell is how you almost didn't get invited. Not invited, but led into Canada. Oh, what? What is this? Remember? We didn't talk about this at the time. No, no, no. It was the, it was the, no, no, not why you didn't get divided into Canada, but the time that you and Mike.

The reason why Canada. The reason why Canada won't let you into the country. They was like, no, you fugitive. Okay, so I had a misdemeanor on my. Oh, Jackie Hill Perry had a misdemeanor? That's not a surprise. I think everybody knows that. I am only who I am by the grace of God.

Ooh. I was a whole lesbian. Come on now. Let's be clear. I got a problem about it. So surely a misdemeanor can't be the worst thing I've ever done. Oh. Anyway, so.

Okay. So what happened was I used to steal all the time, okay? He was a thief? No, I was. But I was, this was the reason it was actually really efficient. So I felt like if I want to go out, a part of going out is you need the outfit. you also need some weed and you need some money, right?

But to me, I didn't have all three of those at the same time. Okay. And so it was like, if I steal the outfit, then I got money for the weed. And so... Got it. But don't it make sense?

Yeah. It's actually a little shrewd. So for me, I would go to the mall and just, you know, steal outfits so I had money for weed and all the things. Now, I never... So basically you was a drug addict. He was like...

I wasn't a drug addict. I just like, a lot. That was drug addict-ish. Because it's just like you like pre-playing so you can't. But also when you steal you can get outfits you low-key can't afford. Got it. You know what I'm saying? I'm not advocating for theft. Okay, let's be clear.

I want everybody to know we're not glorifying that grieves the Lord's heart. You're not glorifying sin. Just all the funny stories happen when we were in sin. It's true. Kim could know. Kim can't laugh. You can't laugh at us. Because I'm laughing at care. I didn't even

laughing at you at this point. Hold on, I got to wipe my eyes. Oh, my goodness. Every time we do storytime, you start crying. You're going to make me ugly. I don't want to be ugly. This is on YouTube now. If this wasn't on YouTube, it wouldn't even matter. Okay. So, I don't remember what happened. Oh, so I never got caught because I was a smart thief. Okay. Like, all of my skills as a, as a Christian communicator and as a preacher, I had then, like I was observant

I made attention to people and what they were thinking and all the stuff and so I would go into places like watching stuff, you know what I'm saying? People I used to steal with, they just weren't smart they were impulsive. So I went to the mall with somebody who will remain unnamed and they were, they, the first mistake

was that we went to the mall early. Why that was a mistake is because ain't nobody there and so we're more visible to the workers first mistake. Second mistake, we went inside of Macy's in the polo section, because this is early 2000s, when polos was like a thing. Don't go in the section dressed in some abercrombie looking at polos because you already look like, oh, you can't afford it. You're not supposed to be here. So we walk up with the thing, and this lady kept looking at us, but I'm like, I mean, I guess I'm not still in nothing.

So she was profiling y'all, but she was right. No. Basically. Because I thought What are they out to? I'm not taking another so I don't care. And so the person I was with, they saw this really, it was like this polo vest that was actually really nice.

And it was like $200. I was like, for sure, get it. Like, you look really nice in the club. Yeah. And so. You deserve it? He went into the dressing room. And he needed my help.

This was the problem. And I was like, oh, okay, I'll help you break the little security tag off. So I went in with him to help him break the little security tag off or whatever. And then when we came out of the thing, I'm still thinking that like my hands are pure and unblemished because I haven't done it. I'm not stealing anything. And the police just like rolled up on us on some like, I don't know, some like CIA type. I don't know why they do that. They do it like it's like a mission.

So as soon as y'all came out the dressing room, they were there? She stopped us like, what are you guys doing or something like that? I don't even remember. It was a blur because I was high. And so they pulled up on us and it was just like, come with us. And he grabbed my wrist. And it's like, you can loosen up the grip. Like, it's not that intense.

I'm not about to run from you. There is no room. Like, I'm not, I'm not a fugitive. And so they took us and took the little room and, like, trying to interrogate us. And it's like, y'all can, like, this is like a thing. Like, we stole, like, we stole an election or something. Like, this is Watergate. And so they were trying to ask us all these questions.

My friend kept trying to lie. I had this, I had a roach. Y'all know where roaches are? not the bug. Are you acting them? Yeah. I don't know if they know what roaches are. So a roach, you want me telling what a roach is?

A roach is a blunt that you smoke. It's kind of like striveled down and now it's like a little small little thing. And you kind of like sometimes people grab it with tweezers or if you got like really good skills, you can hold it with two fingers and you know. It's smoking. So it's just a real raggedy drug addict attempt at getting your last little puff out of the weed. So I had the roach in my pocket And I'm like man I got to get this roach out my pocket

Because they're not going to get me for possession too What a roach They do anything in St. Louis Oh my goodness And so I was like I had the I had the handcuffs on And I said I need to tie my shoes And so like I got the roach out

And when I went to tie my shoes I put it under this plant Then I came back up And then they put us in a hold and sale and we were in there for like a couple hours it was real boring they took our fingerprints and all the stuff

well the crazy thing is that they didn't let y'all do the whole walk of shame because through them all yeah we did they gave the walker shame because there's no other option please tell you about the walk of shade you just walk through them all

with handcuffs on because they got to make an example out of you so so basically but we're so prideful we think it makes us cool though because it's like look at us arrested like

It made us feel like we were like. The dove life. Yeah, that's what it felt like. But the problem was when they let us out of the little holding sale, we had to walk back to the mall, which was like two miles away, and this was before Uber and all the things. So, yeah, that was it. And then I had a misdemeanor on my account for 10 years,

and so when I got saved and delivered and set free, and it was time for us to go to Canada for the PIA tour. They would not let me in because, unbeknownst to me, they did not accept people with misdemeanors into their country unless you did some paperwork paperwork beforehand. So I had to like show them my page and be like I promise I'm a new person

I'm changed like we were showing in my Instagram like I'm literally here for Jesus like I'm not here because we was on a tour bus and we was going into Canada and so like when you get into Canada they come on a tour bus and say everybody could get off and so they was like

everybody's good to cross the border except you are being so dramatic they did not do that. She's a thief. They did not do that. But no she was like really adamant about not let me in like you should have prepared.

I was like, how was I supposed to know that y'all was going to bring up something about that day when I was 18? Yeah. So the grace of God, the people who got Jackie that weekend in Canada, you almost didn't because Ezekiel and me, we started talking to them into letting her come and she ended up here. What's another story that we can tell? That's good from you.

They're all negative. They are all, but they're funny, though. So here's the thing. Okay. So here's the thing. I tell people this all the time. Jackie face falls like she can fight. But the thing is, she really can't.

She's not a fighter. I can't. And so I think a good story for you to tell. I'd be so intimidating for no reason. I think the story, a good story that you can tell is when your friends was about to get into a group fight with these girls. You're saying too much. Okay, go, go, go, go. Okay, so again, can't fight, never have.

I always wanted to in the back of my mind. Because it's just one thing you don't want to be in school at a black school is one, can't fight or soft. Those two things are just such bad categories to live in. And so for me, the problem was I'm over here, can't fight, but everybody I'm friends with fights. And so on one end, I feel safe. I'm really protected because I'm like, I don't hang with scary people. yet at the same time, if something pops off, I got to be like ready to go.

And I don't know how to go. So there's just going to be a really. How do I do this? Like I'm going to just throw some punches. And if they land, hopefully it's just. I feel like if you ever got to a fight, you would actually be good at it if you just black out. But anyways, go. That's the part.

It's me thinking too much. Yeah, you're too much of a thinker. You've got to be a reactor when you fight. That's true. But anyway, so let me say it without saying names because all these people, I'm talking about I'm still cool with. So I'm over my one friend house. She

is a fighter. And she's not an unnecessary fighter. She's one of those people like if you talk crazy to her she's not going to talk back. She's just going to beat you up. And she was just raised that way. Like she was cultivated in an environment

of, it's like a lot like you. So I'm over her house. She has beef with this girl at this other high school. The girl I don't remember all the details, but the girl calls my friend and starts talking crazy to her. So my friend is like, okay,

come over the house and we could like, we could throw hands. Like, we could just stop talking. Me, me over here. Meet me over here. That's very L.A., but sure. And so she's like, come on over. I'm really like saying it really too calm,

but come over and we could fight. And so what ends up happening, though, is that the friend that she got issues with, her people start calling my friend too saying oh you got issue with my cousin we fin to come over there and da da da da da da da so it's like oh now there's more than one person involved gang fight so it's getting good it becomes like a thing so my friend her mom is a fighter too

the mama got involved the mama you're actually like you don't know the mama she catches wind of this and she pressing that's how the wind did okay go You need your ADHD medicine. And so she comes into the doorway. And the mama, she heard about how all these cousins and all these people coming to come over her house. And so she was like, what did she say?

She said something like, hey, she was like, when people come on this door, I'm dropping them. And she was like, and if you ain't ready to fight, you can get the F out. And I'm like, I'm not ready. I don't have it in me. But I can't let you know that. And so she over here got a sock and she put in an eight ball and rocks in the sock saying she fin to swing on whoever comes to this doorstep. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It was just so intense. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Paul, you just can't say that and keep going. So she got a sock. She has a sock. Okay. It's a long sock with rocks in it. So she's basically saying that when people come to this door, she fin to swing them. So this lady got a tube sock.

And she wasn't even like a lady. She was still young. She was one of them young mammas. Wow. But it's like this is way too intense for me. Like I was I was raised in the black suburbs. I don't know what to do. I got a little hood in me because my mom was from the hood,

but I just wasn't raised this way. I was growing up reading books and all of that by myself. I was like technically only child watching Nickelodeon and reading encyclopedias. And I know I hang with people that's about this life. I'm not about this life. But I can't let y'all know that. Wait, so I don't know what to do. The crazy thing is this let she was grown.

Yeah. And these were teenagers coming over. Yeah. So she was going to kill some kids. But you got to think about it. She wasn't going to kill them. In her mind. No, no.

If you hit somebody in a head with an egg ball, they're going to die. But you know how it is, though. In her mind, she was like, I wouldn't have been involved if you were just going to fight my daughter one-on-one. But y'all was trying to jump my daughter. Yeah, it's like you and your whole family are trying to jump her. So now we got to be involved. Okay.

I can see the logic. So they start calling her her cousin. I can see the logic in that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. you try to fire her on one-on-one we good one-on-one was good but now it's 15 20 y'all now it's 15 kill you

getting these rocks anyway so I got to figure out a way to leave without looking soft so how did you leave and so I text my guy brother and I said call me and act like you my mama you got to come back to the mic that's a real punk move but it's smart you're smart No, I was really, I was like in my mind, like, how can I leave without them, like, talking about me? So what you do? It's who? Hey, mama. No, he called me.

And he was like, what's up? And I was like, oh, you want me to come home now? He was like, he was like, I don't know what you're talking about. I said, you want me to come home right now? Like, something is happening, like, with, what's the name house? And he's like, what are you talking about? And I was like, okay, I'll be on my way. And so I got off the phone and I was like, my mom wanted me to come home.

So I got to go. But let me know what happened. I'll be back. Oh, man. I know in the back of their mind, it was like, dango on mama didn't call. She's so scary. She's so scary.

Yeah, at the same time, my mama was one of the few that was always restricting me. And so it wasn't surprising. Like, I could never go all the places they could go. I could never be out at all the times they could be out. So some of it makes sense. Yeah, that's so funny. That was one of the funniest stories ever. Oh, man.

She had a tube sock. the egg ball but you have no idea she was gonna be hitting people quarterpocket you know how i know how i did like when i became a christian how much of a relief it was to not have to always be on guard because like in high school i felt like i was always like you always have to be ready to fight or ready to the so you had that you had that you had that same fear that i had like early on in my life just i had like a deep fear of getting beat up but you were like eight i know i'm saying i lost that real quick we're on the power really quick you got a long time you got a little bit You got to lose that real quick.

Growing up, I grew up. I had it at like 16, 17, 17. Right, right. Your whole life. 13, 12, 11. But to like be around Christians and it'd be like, it's like, oh, we're not going to be like fighting. We just got to.

Yeah, it was real weird for me. We just got to evangelize now and fight devils. You're right. Fight the enemy. Yeah, it was real weird for me at first. I was like, yeah, I don't want to fight sometimes. Like, sometimes people disrespect me. It's like, no, like it's another way to.

Turn out of the cheek. Yeah, turn out of the cheek and be godly. That's kind of thing. I think another good story to tell us. about the time your mom saw something in your room okay so it gets darker i'm in my room i'm probably 14 or 15 i don't know maybe 12 13 it's all the blur i'm 33 now and i heard my mother make a screech or a yelp i don't know it's like a it's not a you know it's not a scream but it's not like a home it's it's something and so i come out the room and she's sitting on her toilet with her hands in her her head in her hands like

kind of like this type thing and looking all the what's the word uh the shepherded and I'm like what's going on and she was like do you really want me to tell you real slavish and I'm like like why would you say it that way of course I want you to tell me now and so I was like uh she was like a she was Like basically that she saw a deem, what looked like, she didn't say, I don't know if she even said the word demon, but she saw a figure that was five feet tall. He said it was all black. His skin was like leathery or like reptilian, real skinny. And she said his hands were my door was like, my door was kind of cracked. And she was like she saw his fingers come through the door, him peek at her and then go back inside my room.

And that's why she screeched or whatever. And so from that point on, it was just really hard for me to go to sleep at night. I'm pretty sure if you were 13 years old. Because it's like, oh, I got demons in here, like straight spirits. I want to know why did he peek out. Like, oh, going back on him now? I think home. I mean, he lived in your room.

I guess there's so many questions I have surrounding that story. It's like, one, how did he get there? Two, why did she see him? Three, why did he manifest in the way that he did? You know what I'm saying? Like, it's just so many things. Because it wasn't like he was lurking around the entire house. It was literally just my room.

So as a teenager, how did you feel after she told you that? I didn't know how to feel. It just felt like, oh, I'm just going to sleep with the lights on and the TV on. Because even now, you know, like, I can't sleep in rooms without some type of light or sound. And I honestly think that. When I'm gone. Yeah, I think situations like that is a part of that reason.

It's just this constant, I need to be aware of what's around me. And so it's like, if somebody's not in the room with me, I'm not comfortable. Wow. And it might be that. That's deep. Epiphany.

So I'm assuming, I'm assuming the demon was in the room just because demons are, they have domain and they have liberty where darkness and sin exists. And so I wasn't a Christian. I was not living in the domain of light. I was not loving Jesus and I was opening myself up to all types of demonic stuff.

Pornography is demonic. Yeah, it is. And I watch it all the time. I love demonic music and I listen to it all the time. Like I was in a world of darkness, but I also had a call. And I think they might have been aware of that. And so them being in my world was probably just them trying to continue to oppress me and make me a slave to all the things.

But at the same time, here I am a Christian. So it's like... preaching the gospel it's only so much power they have who that's a word that's a very encouraging it started off dark ended up light that's great she's seen a few demons in her day and my mom ain't even in church that's the thing people don't realize she's not like in church so for her to see it is actually even more interesting because it's not like she is out here in spiritual warfare classes wow the spiritual world is such a mystery yeah um because we just don't really understand how much is around us every day of our lives, you know what I'm saying?

And so stories like that is, it's kind of creepy, but it's also like equally encouraging to know that God had a plan for your life back then. And, you know, wow. So what's the last story? I feel like you got to be a good one, you know, because, yeah, I think a last story should be, should, should involve like the lifestyle that God is taking you from. because I know people I've heard you talk about the lifestyle that God is taking you from as far as being in a homosexual lifestyle and all of that, but I don't think they know like detailed stories. So give us one good detail story.

My book kind of says everything. So this story is in the book. So anybody that's read gay girl, good God will be familiar with it. But me articulating it, I think, can add color to it. So what happened was I was with my girlfriend at the time and we used to stay at this motel to, you know, do things. and like smoking all that. And so we were in the lobby. I don't remember, I don't know why we were in the lobby, but we were in the lobby.

And there was this guy who was really big, like six foot something, 200 something pounds. I don't know. He just looked like he ate a lot and like had a thick neck, you know, like thick forearm type guy. Right. Like he ate meatloaf for breakfast. And so he was like mad at the hostess for some reason. and like angry like peak angry to the point of I didn't know if he was a little borderline off like unhinged I'm not happy yeah and I was just like he's either about the fight or he's about to shoot I don't know what he's

about to do but all I could think to myself was I can't protect either of us so was he going off on the hostess the people it was it's an awkward situation he's going off on people but he's going through the lobby like going behind into their offices So he's reckless. Oh, wow. He was kind of like crazy a little bit. Yeah, like he's going behind the counter and looking for people. Oh, wow.

And so in my mind, I'm like, I can't fight this dude for me and I definitely can't fight him for you. But I think the Lord in that circumstance, low key, high key, was actually like breaking into two realities, which is I am in this world where I'm living this illusion of being male or masculine. I'm presenting as a man. I'm affectionate towards my girlfriend as a man. I'm treated with the respect in the gay community as someone who has this kind of masculine self. And we've talked about all the things about being a tomboy and blah, blah, blah. But it's like in this moment, I knew I was a woman. And it's not like I didn't know I was a woman, but I knew I was vulnerable and I was weak.

And I wanted and needed somebody to protect me. And I could not protect her and I could not protect myself. and it was just weird. It was like the Lord was using it to be like, this is not who you are. Yeah. Like this is not how I made you. This is not how I created you.

So at the same time, I'm over here trying to act hard and trying to act like, you know, I got this all together, but I don't. Yeah. We need to go. We need to leave. We need to call the cab. And I think that's good and I think that's deep.

Because I think some people might hear this and say, well, there's some men who might be in that situation and not, you know, they're not able to like, you know, help in the way that they're one and yada yada but i think particularly for you in this situation uh you were trying to be somebody that god didn't create you to be i think that's the the law was using it specifically for you yeah to speak to my gender and my biology and how god had made me to exist and be and how i was functioning completely opposite of that yeah which was not reality yeah that's good that's good And so what you say?

I can't protect you. Did you communicate that to your girlfriend? Absolutely not. No, you got to, again, the same way I found a way out of no way when it came to that fight, I found a way to be like, we just went to go get breakfast. Come on, let's just go. This stuff dead over here anyways. He tripping.

Basically, you got to find an alternative to keep up the facade. You grab the arm real hard. Come on. We put it to leave. Yeah. It was all a sham. That's good, though. That's a good story, though. That's a good story.

Well, that was a good story time with Jackie Hill Perry. That was really great and entertaining. Thanks. A lot of tears. Good tears. Good job, babe. We're done there. Adios.

Peace. 30 Minutes with the Perry's is a production of Ivy Media Podcast. Edited by Angie Elkins, video recording and audio production by Kim Powell, artwork by Hop and Music by Swoop. Join us on Patreon for early access to With the Payton. Perry's episodes and other exclusives. You've got two options. You can go to www.

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