Wolf and Owl - André The Giant, Tom’s Man Room and Rom the Sex Symbol

Episode Date: April 9, 2026

What is Tom’s favourite memory of Romesh, what happened at the Wonka premiere and would you eat a burrito from Tom’s belly button or arse crack? This week we not only answer some of your questions, but have even more of our own, like why isn’t Tom allowed to play Fifa? and why is Romesh’s name on a vibrator…? Send in your questions, pictures, videos and voice notes to [e-mail] for the chance to have them answered in an upcoming episode. A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform Media. Chapters: 00:00 - Intro01:38 - Friendship Memories05:41 - Would you rather?06:49 - Bakery dilemma13:49 - Tipping14:36 - Falling over16:03 - André the giant16:58 - Fifa19:20 - Rom the sex symbol Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, welcome to the wolf and owl. Email special with me, the wolf, and this guy, the owl. Uh-huh. Uh-oh. Yeah, what do you want, beak or jaws, feathers or fur, sharp teeth or feet with claws, whatever's prefer.

Just kidding, every word in his songs about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. It's the email special for this Friday, bitches, and we are going through some emails from you, Wolfoutapot at gmail.com, and we were going to... You bet. We're going to go through.

through them right now. You got it. Right now. That's one. Here's our first one. Hello there! In an episode of a while back, you dropped the recording late and subsequently made a mildly self-deprecating comment that no one would notice slash no one commented us to the gap. This email is for no real reason, other to confirm that you definitely weren't missed for those two small days, and every passing Wednesday in February has been a bit like checking the mail to see if your B&O fan club documentation has arrived yet.

You guys are the best. You pick us up sometimes when we're down, not just with humor, but we through being real, opening yourselves. Fingers crossed, you bless our ears again together soon, but ob's no pressure. Loving the new RR show, and best of luck on the tour TD. And I want, just to say, in recent episodes, you guys had a real spark.

Your giggles are plenty, and it's really enjoyable. It's sort of a slight suggestion in the early episodes of shit. I guess I should actually ask a question, as is the general reason for such emails. Do you guys each have a favourite or stand-out friendship memory

or moment with each other? Much love, the procrastinating pangling, probably taken. How about this? The Curious Giraff Weevil. I love it when people when people come up at such inventive animal What do you love it when?

When people come up Such inventive animal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Tom, what's your standout friendship moment? This is actually a great question. I mean, like this. Sometimes, do you ever like make a little montage in your head of like special moments?

No. What? Like if I close my eyes now, I'd think of montage moments of our friendship and just really like smile. I think for me at the moment, first time I ever saw you do stand. stand up. I could get a slate actually. We talked about that

recently. Yeah. You're quite bullish enough with me. I think far the opposite, my friend. I think that moment, I think that was a moment, I think the first moment when we went away together to get a DeVick and Bob, I think we submitted our friendship. Do we

know one of the happiest moments? When I watched you did a play. Oh, okay, I need to talk about this. Go on. The play? Yeah. You phoned me afterwards. Yeah. It's one of the nicest. uncles I've ever had in my life. Well, I was blown away.

You, but it, you know, obviously you're very nice about the play, but it was what I really loved about it was how supportive. And I could tell, I mean, this is how it felt. It felt like my, your perception of the success, my success in the play was your success as well. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, I felt like you were feeling it for me the way that you would feel it for yourself.

Yeah, yeah, it was so bright away. It was magic. And I, I, I remember. sat in that audience, I was just, and I knew the pressures that were on, you know, as a press night, big thing, but also,

I genuinely, I can't remember the last time I felt so much pride in another human, like, just so proud of you. I thought it was amazing. I felt the same when, um,

we came to the Wonka premiere. Oh, really? Um, I'd love to have been sat with everyone else, but I understand there's, there's a lot of people. Can I say, but that was a one with the awful,

uh, Tyson Fury thing for me. That was, yeah, that was, that marred. Well, So we were sat in the, is it Royal Festival Hall, isn't it?

Yeah. Sat in the Royal Festival Hall for the premiere. I'd obviously had that horrible thing where I got dropped off at the wrong bit and fell falling over on the red carpet. It was my first act. One of the official photos is me tying up my shoelaces. Anyway, then came in, sat inside. You obviously were doing your thing or whatever, press and stuff.

And then you get put up on the screen. Yeah. Doing the Tyson Fury hands. Doing the Tyson Fury hands. And the truth is that Guy had said, Tom, Tom, because I had a joke in my... He'd been to see my stand-up show. So I had a joke about people saying that.

So he made the joke... He'd been at South End. I made the joke about doing it. So I did it as a laugh. I didn't realize that that was the thing that was going to get sort of... Well, you were... It was broadcast to the whole...

Yeah, the whole cinema. I look like a fucking idiot. It's like... I don't think you look like an idiot. I mean, it was an insane thing for doing. for someone who's not a boxer or playing a boxer in a film. Like in a kid's movie and I'm like that. But yeah, I have so many memories.

And so it's, yeah, it's a very nice thing. I recently actually, I called you recently. Yeah, you did, yeah. I had a long chat, don't we? A long chat and yeah. I don't think I've ever, I felt like in that moment, like, you know, I've always thought of you as a best friend, but actually to be able to open up and chat to someone

and that level, I felt very blessed. I consider your family. Likewise. You're a very special person. So thank you very much for this. I've got me right in the fields. Yeah, I hope the next emails is beautiful.

Yeah. That's really lovely. Thank you so much for such a... Follow that, fuck. And I hope you've enjoyed these, the podcasts coming back. Yeah. And thank you for bearing with.

Wolf and Al! I think we need to like reset a bit. Yeah. Because even the way you closed off that was a bit like, I don't know, it's a bit... What do you mean? Morose. Not morose.

Melancholic. We've become a bit earnest. Yeah, okay. We've switched into that. We need to sort of, reset. Knobbs. Okay, here we go.

Fuckos. Shitting. Would you rather eat from my belly button on my ass? Okay, good question. All right, this is great. This is good shit. What is the food?

Whatever sort of burrito filling you like. So, okay, so like refried beans, bit of guac, jalapinas. Yeah. And they're either in your belly button or your ass, ass crack. Yeah.

I think it's got to be belly button, right? I think my belly button can get quite fluffy at times. I know, but it's not... Quite hairy, is not? Yeah, but you're not shitting out of it, are you? No, not in the moment. Let's see how this medical thing develops. So belly button?

Yeah, yeah, belly button. You don't get as much food, that? No, I mean, that did go into my consideration that I would be getting less of the food. Yeah, but then I'd have to keep on topping up. And I don't, I think my belly button's deceptively small from an on my side. It's the idea of you're just getting a spoon and going, who wants some more. Not off the spoon, Mr. Rangan, Ethan.

Just smearing the top of it flush with a spatula. Well for now. I was at my favourite independent coffee shop last weekend. Small place, nice staff. They remember your order. I fucking love that. I paid contact list and said thanks and left. Late in the afternoon, I checked my banking app

and realised they'd only charged me £1.20 instead of £12. pounds. I absolutely noticed at the time that the total felt low, but didn't say anything. Now, I can't decide if I've committed a tiny crime or this is just a universe versus this is a fucking reach by the way. I'm surprised you're

I'm surprised you're back with this fucking reach. It's been three days I haven't gone back. I feel weird about it. Do I go in and confess, wait until next time or accept that I have accidentally robbed them. Anonymous. I think you've, this sounds like a, I mean, it's a very small chain.

It's a little independent place. Yeah. I think you have to go back in. You have to. There's no way around it. And go back in and say, look, hands up, this has happened. I feel absolutely mortified about it. And then do a massive order.

Do a, LL Cool J. What's that? Put your money away. I'm about to buy the bar. When did he do that? He does it in one of his songs. Oh, I see, sorry I don't think it's

He's not Are you on I mean his songs are not documentaries No, no, I'm just saying Okay He's the only person I can think He's definitely said that In a really cool way

Okay And I think turn him out I think he says it in I think he says it in baby girl Was dripped in shunner Phenomenal Yeah Yeah

Put your money away I'm about to buy the bar I didn't realize That Ray Winston Watt a hot of 16 on that tune So I think you've got to go in and just go, hey, I did a really bad thing last week, y'all,

and I feel really sick about it. I took, yeah, I didn't pay enough for my coffee. I'm getting coffee and some Danishes. I feel bad. So, you know what? Level up and then buy some more bits. Like, spend 35 quid in there and give them the £12. Those little independent places, man.

Can I tell you, I mean, you're in the game. You're in the biz. You got a little, well, say a little bakery. Yeah, it's a big company. You got a big chain there. Can I say Sean Coughlin, by the way? What a guy. He's very upset about your cake story that you told.

He's just such a nice man. Do you know? He went to my mum and dads. Yeah, yeah, he told me, yeah. Such a good guy. Yeah. So sweet. Just a very earnest human being.

Yeah, nice, good guy. Top guy. I'll tell you what, you've got a good one there. Yeah. I feel proud of you. He said that to him. No, I did say that to him. No, what was it?

He's one of the good ones. Looking straight down the barrel. You can't help. He's one of the good ones. I did not do that. You did. You're one of the good ones. I did not do that.

Did I do that? Yeah. That bit at the end? Yeah. I didn't think I could do that. You did like a little character. All right. Okay.

What do you think in this conundrum? I, okay. Imagine a branch of Coughlands. Liz from Coughlands calls you. And she says, Hello, Rom. We've had a bit of a problem, Gov. One of our local

customers came in today. He had coffee, two croissons and a bacon roll, and I charged him £1.20 instead of £12. I'm so sorry. I know you get angry in this sort of situation and what happened to Claire. Before we get into any details, how the fuck did he get my number? Oh, Sean's away and said to contact you.

Don't ever, don't ever ever contact me about this or anything. Well, it's also written in the toilets and some of the pubs around. Yeah. So if you if you have to fun times, follow the instructions. That number's for fun times. Okay, sorry.

So what do you want us to do about this? I couldn't give a fuck, Liz. Speak to Sean about him on his back, all right? Okay. Yeah, all right, why he's still here? Bye. Are you doing any more of the weakest link? Shut up!

Something like that. I'm trying to end the call. I think, there's a number of things, I think. If we were to examine where I think you've made misjudgments, 120 sounds too little for anything you can buy in a coffee shop

particularly an independent Yeah but I will say that in their defence contact list wise I don't sometimes look at the time It felt low It felt low, yeah Yeah 120 What are you getting for 112?

Yeah I don't know a bottle of water Yeah Maybe in Cofflands Cofflands is probably the most reasonable sort of price bakery in the market I'd say I wonder what you can get for 120 in the car Anyway

So you did know at the time That's a misjudgment Yeah You didn't say anything Now what you're doing is you're trying to sway your guilt by... Now, this is a bit bad, actually.

I feel like I've got a bit of a grey area on this. I would feel a lot less bothered about this if it was Costa or Starbucks. Yes, mine. I sort of think... Can I just say that, but then you say that, but then shit runs downhill. Agreed.

And crime is crime. It's poor Liz. No, it's poor Liz. The Starbucks and Costa are going to be harsher to a member of staff than Barry and Sue have got this coffee shop. Now, you've got an obstacle. So first of all, this. idea that it's redistribution of wealth is not acceptable.

You need to pay this money back, in my opinion. You don't need to do anything. Okay, the truth is you can keep the money if you want. I think the right thing to do, the kind thing to do, and we should all be striving to be kind in our knowledge, shouldn't me? You got it. Is to go and pay this money back. Now, the fact that you have to say it is an obstacle, right?

Now, the only result that will make this fair, all you need to happen is for them to pay the money their owed, okay? you don't actually have to make an apology, in my opinion, right? In situations like this, think about the result. The result is they are a tenor short of what they should be, right? And you want to address that. Yeah. So what you want to do, in my opinion, is figure out the most frictionless way to do it.

And this would be my tip for you. Go in there, buy something. You don't have to say that you underpaid last time. And then you say, can I add a tip? And you tip for the amount that you were short by. Yeah. The coffee shop is all squared up, you're all squared up, sort of karma-wise, and you haven't had to have an awkward conversation.

You can feel free to continue to shop there. Yeah, or you just put £10.80 in a tip jar. It's essentially the same answer. Yeah, but you haven't got to make a big deal of doing it on your credit card. Oh, that's actually a good point. That's actually a really good point because then they might go, oh my God, I can't believe you're giving such a, then suddenly you get some good stuff out of it. If they're coffins with tips, if they go on card,

do you and Sean keep them or do they go to the staff? We've used a lot of it to sort of buy ahead merch for my tour. No, I think they've got a staff. Are you a big tipper? Yeah, I like a tip, but I also, I'm not a frivolous tipper. What does that mean? I tip if I think something's... Oh, no, I just tip anyway.

No, no, no. I mean, unless they're shit, with me, if they're not shit, you're getting a big tip. Yeah, yeah. Because I just sort of think that job's hard. Yeah, no, yeah. But I mean, if they're shit, I'm not. No, if they're shit, then no. But like most deliver-o, I go big.

This time of year, deliveroo drivers. Don't do this. No, I feel so sorry for them. Yeah, of course. That's what I mean. To be fair, I also feel like I want to chat to them and make them feel like respected and loved. But then also I'm like they've got other places to be.

So. It's a tricky balance, is that? Yeah. Yeah, I'll often put a tip. Okay. When I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids, and I want to give back to the community. Ooh.

Then it's the vacation of a lifetime. I wonder if my out of office has a forever setting. An IG private wealth advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonize your business, your family, and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you. You at the centre. Find your advisor at IGPrivatewealth.com. To my favourite podcast in the world, I slipped on a wet pavement recently. Not dramatically, just one of those awkward flailing moments where time slows down and you realise you're not

as nimble as you thought. What struck me wasn't the fall itself, it was a recovery. I didn't spring back up. I checked my wrist like a Victorian gentleman. A stranger asked if I was all right and I weirdly said, yes, yes, absolutely, brushing off imaginary dust from my co. It hit me that there was a time mode of laughed and bounced up instantly. At what point does falling over stop being funny and start being a minor life event? The Wary Wombat. Thanks Wary Wombat for your email. What's your answer to this, Tom?

Well, yeah, gosh, mine back outside Selfridge is when I had that awful trip. Oh, yeah, of course. That was terrible. Do you tell it again like we've never heard it before long in this podcast? Big fans of the show would have listened to it. And shout out to both of you. I've had it a few times recently when I've slipped and fallen. And also, just genuinely, I've started to feel like time is creeping up on me.

Oh, far the time. Yeah. I had a thing recently. I was traveling, and I was in a, traveling in a car, a car, you know. Grat's tour car. Okay. And we were in the car for like 12 hours. Yeah.

And I literally, for a day after, I couldn't even, I was in agony. You know, Andre de Giant, you hear stories about him when he was traveling around. Yeah. He used to just have to drink wine and just get drunk because everything was, he could never, he was hardly ever comfortable unless he was in his own house at his big chair. I know. By the way, I think about Andreo Giant four times a day. You just make shit up, don't you?

No, I swear. Unless there's four pictures of Andreant in your house, I don't believe you. There's one picture. Okay. Where? Upstairs in my room. You've got, okay, fine. I accept that.

Yeah, in my man room. in your what room? My man room with my your what room? My man cave You've got a man cave? Not a man cave

It's like What is it? Well it's pictures I like And some old football shirts How often do you go in there? Has he got furniture? Yeah it's got No,

I don't just walk around it Like it's an art gallery Like it's a Tate Yeah, it's got like a sofa in there Right How often are you in there? Well, to be fair I've been slipping in there more

And I would die at it at the moment Playing FIFA I've got back into the habit Like a crackhead I got back into the old FIFA habit which I'm a little bit embarrassed about Catherine was like you're going to, it's becoming a problem again

Why she said it's coming in a problem so you're not allowed to play FIFA? No, because I'm obsessive I've got such an addictive personality I can't just have a game Yeah, I'm in, I'm completely immersed Do you play online? No, no, no, I've got a career mode Okay

Yeah, I'm Juventus at the moment Right I'm lucky to be in a job If I'm going to be completely honest spent a lot of money in my first season, complete turnaround of the squad, and missed out on Champions League football.

Oh, that's a show. So, yeah, they give me a little bit of time to turn things around. As you can imagine, that's playing and have her come my mind quite a lot of the time. So I've been, yeah, so Catherine will go,

I'm just going to, you know, like, Lisa, yeah, have the nighttime return. It's going to do my face, do my creams. I'm like, okay, cool, yeah. And then she'll go, I know what you're doing. And you can just hear me creeping upstairs to have a quick game of,

FIFA. How long do you think it'll be roughly? Like 20 minutes? Should be able to get two, four minute, half games in. So there's a transfer window, doesn't, anyhow. My point being, yeah, so I think about Andrejadjad, because he could never be comfortable. And the older he got,

the more his body started forming as a giant. And I'm not quite a giant, but I feel it now. Yeah. The age. Regular listeners will know that I talked about many years ago now. It feels that many years ago. I don't know when it was. I was... sort of aggressively VIPed into Medusa's cocktail bar in Crawley.

Yeah, yeah, we remember. Tripped over the corner of the lounge, VIP bit, and smashed onto the floor at such a speed that both drinks had in my hands were empty as I landed. Oh, man. My elbow's still not the same. What? Yeah.

I fell onto both my elbows and they both really saw the next day. Yeah, I remember the elbow. And this elbow still's not 100% from that. Man. And that wouldn't have happened if that happened to me in my 20s. Yeah. And there was some girl really Nasty to you afterwards.

Yeah. Don't talk. Let's not talk about that. I just remember someone being mean to you in there as well. I told you about the other thing that happened in Majusus. Have I told the story about the girl that showed me the photos? Yeah. No, what photos?

I must have told this story. Yeah, you probably have, but my brain is gone. Go on. This girl came up to me in Majusa's one now. Yeah. And she was really excited, like really excited to see me. Right. She came to me as, I've got to show you this.

I love. your show so much. I said, okay. And she showed me a photo. And in the photo, in her bathroom, were two vibrators. And one said Rob and one said Ramesh. Oh my, you've never told this story.

No. What the fuck? That is insane. You are like, you know, you're a sex, you're a guy now. I'm not, somebody with a fucking, who's sharpied the word Rommish onto a vibrator. Does not make me a fucking sex symbol.

Mate, that is sexy. Mate, you're a seventh sexiest man in the world. In the UK, by the way, in the UK, on a fucking divorcee's website. Yeah, mate, that's still something. Number one, Jeremy Clarkson. No, can I just, mate, can I just say that? Someone's written your name on a dildo. That means they're fantasising.

Okay, a vibrator. That means that they're sexually, like, fantasising about you at least a couple times a week. They've got your name written on there. They've got Rob's name written on as well. Oh, yeah, they'd like to mix it up. Have they got Robert? Rom or was it Ramesh? I think it said Ramesh.

Wow, the whole name. So it's not even like the program. Yeah. Ironically, I couldn't do that myself. It'd have to be RR, I think. No dot. Ro. Wow.

Fucking how that. Yeah, weird, isn't it? You got some big swaggy moments in your life. That's not a swaggy moment. It's a weird story. But that happened. Yeah, but that's an incredible thing. Like, you think of all the names

that she could have put on those vibrators. I mean, I would describe it as an incredible coincidence that she's got that, taken a photo of it, and then met one of the guys. So there's pictures of you on the wall as well, just... No, no, it was literally just, it was written on. Wow. Oh my God. That's insane.

Also, why did you take a picture of those? I don't know in case you... To show other people, I guess so. She thinks it's funny. Or like, you know, maybe she's going to Jusers and she said that Romish frequency there. Do you go there quite a lot? No. I mean, that's a hell of a hell of a Mary.

Yeah. Yeah. If she doesn't, I mean, if you're going there, what, twice a year. Yeah. Did she have to scroll through her picture is quite a long way, or? No, every picture was that. No, I didn't see how far she scroll back. Wow.

Yeah. Wow, that is crazy. I actually, I don't know why. Weirdly, you seem impressed. I'm so impressed. Okay. Should we wrap this up, big boy? Yeah.

Wow. What's wrong with you? You are like someone's fantasy. That's an incredible thing. I don't think it is that incredible. Oh, yeah. I really don't. Do you know, I would, you know what I'd like to be Lisa's fantasy?

Even for fucking 12 minutes. Maybe you should, maybe you should buy her a vibrator with your name one. Oh my God. Can you imagine if I presented that to her as a gift? I could just imagine her on the phone to a friend going, oh god, you never guess what? He's just bought a vibrator with his own name one. Yeah.

Honestly, I thought nothing could get worse than him giving me his autobiography last year. Yeah? Yeah, obviously he didn't put Ranganathan on it. He's joking. Thank you so much for listening and watching. Wolfoutapod at gmo.com, please. Thank you, friends. And we see you little fuckers next time.

Yes. You're the best. And if you've ever fantasised over Rommis, right in with your fantasy. Or Tom, actually. We have had emails in about you being sexy. We have. I've noticed it.

Catherine sent one. Mrs. Davis sent one. My old master's in one. See you loud, bitches. Thank you, friends.