Wolf and Owl - Bonus Email Episode #10

Episode Date: April 16, 2021

First up on this week’s bonus show, the Wolf & Owl’s very own watergate scandal, a new health regime and news of some successful advice. Then we tackle… dealing with pressures to drink, the ups and downs of the Edinburgh Festival, food hacks and fast food favourites. Thanks for all your messages - keep them coming at [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today. Something is coming. Kong. Godzilla. They can feel it. Fight together. It's human up. Or face extinction.

Godzilla Kong The New Empire. Now playing only in theaters. We are all connected. Discover Echo from Cirque du Soleil. Opens May 8th under the Big Top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at cirquetusoleil.com. Echo thinks it's presenting partners' sun life. Two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them.

Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast. Only $6 at A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dine-in only until 11am. parts get severed and served bring your weak shit wear the wolf and owler that ain't just a mistake that's an awful howler both of them are known to pull up at your shows have the crowd witnessing the murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows fuck their censorship let them see the whole thing they stay dressed to kill never sheep's clothing dark enough to turn the sun to the moon you'll see nothing all you hear is a huff a puff and expect killings red spilling and flesh

ripping impressive in it the death bringing, it's head spinning. Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Welcome to the Wolf and Owl bonus episode. I'll be honest with you, we thought we weren't going to do a bonus episode. It's a lovely turn of events that we get to do one today. Yeah. Very sweet. The light of destiny shone upon us and now we are here doing this bonus episode and it gives me a great opportunity to say now the sequence of events that's led to

what i'm about to talk about i'm not massively happy with so if you've listened to the last episode you know that tom was talking about water polo and we talked about which of those words is more useful and then we started talking about whether if you said somebody you're going water if they'd know what you're talking about and then tom said i'm going to test it now uh and so he went off to record with jamie redknapp and he said he was going to do a test and then basically he did it so quickly that our editor james dropped it in straight into the podcast uh and i believe the clip ends with you saying something like romesh you're a fucking idiot i win again something like that yeah yeah but i got so excited i got hyped up i was like yeah you got hyped up but but but let's let's just break down what i think you did because

at the moment you're sitting on what i believe you what you believe to be a victory you think you've been vindicated one of my biggest some of the facts i just want to explore some of the facts here the floor is yours romesh the floor is yours the owl yeah thank you thanks very much first of all you said i'm gonna go undercover right i'm gonna wear a wire you said something like that right then the clip starts with you going here i'm with jamie redknapp now you've not been prepped have you so that's all out the window straight away right you've announced to him what you're doing yeah okay secondly our conversation was this you said to me if i said i'm going water you'd know what would you know what i was talking about i said no and you went right we'll see about that i'll find out

what's going on because I'll do this experiment. Then what you said to Jamie was, right, Jamie, you've not been prompted for this, have you? And he's like, no, I've not been prompted. And then you go, I'm going to go in the water later on this afternoon.

What activity do you think I'd be doing? How is that the same as what we were talking about? It's absolutely nothing like what we discussed. Yeah, but look, number one, I didn't have a wire on me. I didn't have a wire on me. And I felt guilty. Just put the fucking phone in your pocket.

Yeah, but sometimes it doesn't work when you do that. I did that to try and record a gig once, and it didn't work. Well, it didn't work this time because you fucked it. Mate, okay, look. I think that jamie knew what i'm talking about i think there's a slight freudian slip on my point i got very excited at that point it wasn't it wasn't a freudian slip tom it was a willful leading of jamie into the into the answer that you want so here's where i sit with it i think we need to look at maybe

getting 20 different people to email in and see where they sit. Lisa is the fairest person I know in England. She will sit as a referee across this. Okay? So 20 different people have to email in and say what they think. Who's right and who's wrong. Okay, fine. Email in.

WolfHourPod.gmail.com. Let us know what you think about it. I think it's probably swaying. It was swaying your favour at one point, and it swayed way back into mine, and now it's sort of probably about there. Yeah. The fact that you think it's in the middle means that you definitely think I'm right. That's what I know about. I don't definitely.

What I would say is, if you say to somebody, I'm going in the water, what activity do you think I'm going to be doing? And they don't say swimming. What the fuck is wrong with that person? Right. That is not what the experiment was. What was the experiment?

I got excited. You said I'm going water. If I said I'm going water, do people know what... Then you go, I'm getting in the water for what activity do you think I'm going to be doing in the water?

And then Jamie says swimming. Yeah, but... Yeah, of course he fucking does. By the way, big shout out to Jamie doing in the water? And then Jamie says swimming. Yeah, but look. Yeah, of course he fucking does. By the way, big shout out to Jamie Redknapp. We love you, Joe. We love you, Joe. Thank you for being a part of the experiment.

I think you've done no bad work here. I think we're on mission. No, no, no. I'm not accusing him. Don't start doing that. I'm not accusing Jamie of doing any bad work. Jamie did what he was supposed to do.

I'm talking about, I'm purely talking about you. Right. Right? I'm talking about the wolf. Don't start bringing the lion into this. The lion?

I'd say Freddie Fentoff is going to be the lion. Jamie, I think we all know Jamie's the weasel. Love you, Jay. Yeah, boy. You know what I did today?

Just on a side note of what I did today. Go on a side note of what I did today. Go on. I thought about a conversation about the Chinese takeaway the other day, and I was like so disgusted in myself. Why? That I've started back on a grueling training regime with Stan the Man. My guy Stan.

Big love. Big love, Stan. So I've done my before pictures today. Have you ever done those before and after pictures? No i haven't because i know what the after well actually i did do once this is what i love about you you're like oh no i'm gonna take the walk the higher path and actually i'm gonna be the cock of the north and then you're like you've done the fucking thing no the reason it's so easy to be sleazy no the reason i did it is because um the i was i did this column for the guardian and one of the things they were looking at is they they wanted to look

at like fitness journeys and so i took a they did a set of photos with me at the beginning of the year and the idea was that at the end of the year we take some after photos all from encouragement of me i just talked i sounded exactly like you just did there you know sort of i'm getting into it blah blah blah and um i didn't lose any weight so basically there was then a feature in the guardian of me with some before and after photos that looked identical man i think you did a service yourself because i think you have you've lost a you've lost a decent amount of weight i think i was looking at you like you when we were filming like uh king gary i was gonna say judge romish then for some reason um but yeah if i take it back to judge romish and now i think about king gary i look at you've definitely lost a lot of timber i think quite

a lot substantial lot about that's very kind of you to say um how how far down this uh how how committed massively i i just want to look at myself and not like I actually got into pretty good shape in the last end of the last lockdown. I was like oh wow I feel really good about it. There's a photo going around with you just in your pants that you've ripped in.

Yeah which I felt very proud of. The best I've ever looked. But there's a lot of photos of me and I've just done a whole fucking series of me with quite a pronounced just done a whole fucking series of me with quite a pronounced stomach hanging over some fucking white jeans. So my ego is like, look, I realise that's funny, but I also realise that heart disease is a massive problem,

and I can't be eating all those Chinese takeaways. So, yeah, me and Stan are on a journey. So, you know, what are you doing about your diet? I'm hitting it up today. I've first had a diet. Just hit out some whole grain rice some chicken and some broccoli yeah and then are you having cheat days yeah i'll have to but not for the first month okay should we do this i would like to do this but inspired by you mate it'll be incredible if you join me on the journey i'm joining you on the journey wow well i mean this is incredible what are we going to say what

are we going to do two months so because i'm away at the moment so it's going to be a little bit difficult for me to start now but i'm going to try and stay on my dot i'm going to try and not snack too badly right while i'm away but let's say this when i'm back i'm going to start let's give us from the from the moment i'm back yeah so you can have this next few days it's like a little bit of a sort of a head start on it let's have let's have two months we both do before pictures yeah and we both do after pictures you've got it tough though because i will say in your like for you at the moment filming is a tight like i've just got off a seven week shoot you've been around for a lot of it i never have like that amount of treats sweets and stuff around me oh mate it's

mad for my wife's birthday the other day i got like this massive like fruit fucking brunch thing delivered it was beautiful just sitting eating fresh fruit i was like this is just what life is this is what i should be doing and i've had fry-ups nearly every day for seven weeks a healthy option for me over the last seven weeks was having a mcdonald's breakfast yeah so you know it's portion size isn't it because you know what i do is i get a fresh fruit platter and then i go oh this is what i should be doing all the time i eat all this fresh fruit and then i look at the packet after and it says serve six so this is a journey and a half now so we can share by the way can i just can i just say this isn't this isn't a thing where we go,

you have to lose weight, you have to do... We're not saying that. All it is is Tom and I, we want to feel comfortable in ourselves, and currently we don't, right? And that is... There's a lot of reasons for that, but we're going to try and do something about it. If I'm going to be quite candid about it, I genuinely said to Catherine, I was like, my mental health has suffered.

I've not done any training in three, three, four weeks. Eating like shit. Taking my foot off the gas with a number of things of like, fucking my diet and my just,

you know, sense of like, being healthy. And now I'm like, I feel the effects of that. And actually, when I was training, I felt so positive

about everything. So, that's a massive part of this as well. But, and also, it's exciting to do it with you. I'm actually looking forward to seeing how that's going to end up yeah let's do a live workout together let's do a live workout together uh no actually do you know what i've immediately

changed my mind on that why would you not do a live workout i just are we going to become those guys yeah you know like there's no coming back from being those guys you know when you start yeah i don't know man it just it feels so far removed from what we are. You know, people are coming into this, and, you know, the podcast, what was the Wolf and I podcast? I said, all right, they initially started talking about, like, takeaways and, like, how they wipe their arses.

And now it's moved on to, they had three grams too much protein the last week. The thing is, I can't... They did a 45-minute workout. I can't calorie count like that. I'm going to go in, I'm just going to eat stuff that's healthy, but portion sizes,

I'm going to wolf down what I want. Wolf down. Well, there you go. But the other thing is, you've got to remember, is whatever changes you've got to make, you've got to basically make changes that you could envisage making for life. Otherwise, it's sort of pointless, right?

Yeah. Also, like, let me say this. It's a fucking slog to get rid of a stomach. Like, my God. It's stubborn old fat, that, isn't it, the stomach? It ain't going nowhere. And also, I don't want to sort of get myself out of results day, but Asian men really do love

a fucking overhang belly. I mean, it is genetically... You know, I don't want to reinforce stereotypes, but Asian men of my age love a big belly. There's something about our genetic makeup that means that, like a camel, we store a lot in that kind of midriff area.

I come from a background of people who spend 90% of their life in fucking Wetherspoons most people I know are fucking a gut

a gut was seen as a fucking like this is the difference of life now when I was growing up no one had six packs

no one had that fucking yeah it was a good it was a sign of honor if you had a beer gut so it meant

that you were fucking living that building life properly and now also the other thing that's the other thing about six-packs, right? And no disrespect to anyone who's got a six-pack.

You've worked at it. Your genetics have been favourable. Whatever, right? You've got yourself a six-pack. It used to be one in what? Yeah. 500 people would have a set of fully defined abdominals, like movie stars and people like that.

Now, the fucking bloke two doors down from me has got a six pack. My postman has got a six pack. Yeah, what the fuck is going on? Yeah. I mean, he's probably actually

one of the fittest people locally because obviously he walks everywhere, but yeah, it's like, it feels like a little bit too into your postman. Yeah, but also he probably listens to this.

Does he? Oh yeah, he's walking around loads and I know he's a fan. I know he likes your stuff, so he might listen to this. So shout out. Thank you's walking around loads and I know he's a fan. I know he likes your stuff so he might listen to this. So shout out. Thank you for your

deliveries. Do you know his name? No. I was watching from afar with his top off on a hot summer's day.

Sure. Does he take his top off? Yeah, he's been known to. Of course he does. That's what happens when you've got a

six pack. Of course. Yeah, because you and me, it's 50-50 whether we're going to take off our tops to go fucking swimming.

You're postman. Temperature goes into double digits fucking guys topless i've got to the waist i've got very embarrassing sad pictures of me when i went on holiday when i was about 18 19 and i'm in the sea in a polo shirt oh mate i forgot i've got that also that you know the occasions where you wear a t-shirt because you feel self-conscious and it's that material that gets wet and then just clings to you so much that you basically come out and if anything you've fucking drawn an outline around the fucking gelatinous bulge of your body i've got that i've got highlighted it well i'm on a group of mates of mine i grew up with and uh one of my mates is this guy, John Iger, who's like incredible.

He like played football. I think he was at Millwall then he ended up like, he's a sports therapist now up in Huddersfield. But he's like ripped to hell and all these guys, Barton,

they're all like, all the bitches, they're all like ripped to shit. They all look amazing. They look like fucking footballers and then there's me and I look like, you know who I look like in it?

I look like the beast off the fucking, the chase. I look so fucking, I look like I've got his haircut. I was busting a haircut in 1998. Arm around your cousin. Okay. Kissing cousins.

Should we get into some emails bro yeah yeah this one I think you're about to lose your mind over this one very short but very punchy you ready

okay cool hi Rom and Tom listening to you guys discuss your previous careers and how you suffered with imposter syndrome made me take a leap into an area

that I didn't feel good enough for but really wanted turns out i am good enough as i was offered the job the next day thank you chaps your positive chat has made me go for it and i'm now going to be financially better off in a job that i really want to do you are both beautiful souls and thank you for your wisdom cheers simon simon has gone and done him and he's owned him wow sorry i feel like genuine like a proud father to simon it's amazing feels good right mate that is do you know what that is that's up there for me with one of the best feelings of my life just knowing that i love the thought that someone's listening is this what you look is this what you look like when you're having one of the best feelings of your life no this is oh god poor katherine listen wow man just the thought of simon's did he send a picture of himself no no he didn't i just like the thought that he's just so happy all the time now

congratulations mate congratulations so there's no advice to give apart from yo spread the love spread the word. Keep on doing you. You're a G, brother. Thanks for undermining what could have been quite a nice moment there. Okay, next up. This is another Simon. Wow, two Simons in a show. First time we've ever done that, two Simons in one show.

Yeah, I mean, barely a fact, I would say. We could call this episode the bonus show, two Simons. Yeah, we could do if we were wankers. So this is actually the Simon that asked us about what to do for his wife's birthday. Wow, he's got back to us. Yeah, he's got back to us. And I'm absolutely flabbergasted to report that he's actually taken your idea. What, the balloons?

Yes. My guy. My guy. This feels like Christmas. I know. I'll tell you what, Simons are really fucking good people, aren't they? Yeah, yeah. You're thinking of a bad Simon.

I'm not thinking of a bad Simon. You're trying to drop in Simon Cowell or something. No. No, I'm not. I've got nothing against Simon Cowell, apart from the obvious. Just quickly as a fact, do you know Simon Cowell has a bath before every big show he does?

How soon before? Just before he goes on stage, he has a nice warm hot bubble bath. Why would you do that? Because wouldn't that really relax you? Yeah, but also you'd be all sweaty. I've never got out of a bath and not fucking been glazed in sweat. Yeah.

That's a weird flex, but you know, fair enough. He's doing something right, isn't he? Oh yeah, he oughtn't want me in a pound note behind him. Okay, guys, thanks so much for the advice and reading out on the podcast. So an update. A hundred balloons ordered, but no glitter, as long as I don't want to have to clear it up.

Thinking of telling her to pop the balloons until she finds her present and accidentally forgetting to put it in a balloon. Too far? And then he said, I'd love you if you could do a FaceTime. You promised, again, one of these things now that we're not going to deliver on

and he's actually going to leave quite a sour taste at the end of all this. No, no, no, we can still deliver. When's her birthday? It's the 20th of April. Wow, a week before mine, Simon. Okay, that's another thing, Simon, for you to not care about. Well, no, no, yeah, 20th of April, lock us in. Let us know time,

when you're doing stuff. He has given us a time and stuff so we can actually do this. Why do we need to go into the logistics of it here? All right, fair enough, yeah. Just make sure you're on this, okay? I didn't promise this, but I will be on it now because I'm committed, because otherwise it'll make me look like an absolute prick.

But I think it's going to be such a joyous thing. Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really?

Yeah, he says it's a pill that's... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. Only got small amounts of time but want big amounts of flavor? Knorr has got you. Our new Knorr rice cups deliver all the taste without the prep or wait time.

We're talking yummy, creamy, hearty goodness. Choose from loads of delicious, Moorish flavors ready in only two and a half minutes. It's not cup food, it's good food in a cup. Visit Knorr.com to learn more. Best Western made booking our family beach vacation a breeze. And it felt

a little like... Come on kids, back to the hotel room. Good night kids. Good night mama. Life's a trip. Make the most of it at Best Western Imagine Simon's face Right, this is Simon's face The level of Simon's face

Is around about a 4 or 5 of excitement But the surprise for his gorgeous lady When weeds turn up and go Yo, happy birthday Hope you enjoyed the Birk Blooms Fishy cheese, jolly good fellow Fishy cheese, yeah Or happy birthday

Whatever song you want well we're hopefully we can sort that out for you simon uh we'll be in touch be funny if you did a filter on your face oh hello it's romesh the cat wishing you a happy happy birthday uh okay this is quite a serious one but like we haven't done a serious one for a while yeah all right so let's do it okay this is from oh we'd like to remain anonymous uh hi rom and tom uh my brother has a girlfriend who i'm really close with along with the rest of her family i consider them all close friends i sometimes drink with them as i enjoy their company not during covid restrictions i also drink in general quite a bit however i've never really liked how i am when i'm drunk only

how it makes me feel i know it's something i need to work on so recently i've been wanting to give it up at least for a while because i want to be healthier and also because of my silly behavior while inebriated with covid restrictions lifting a little they started to invite me and another friend to their homes no one was working that day i explained that i'd rather not come as i knew they'd be drinking involved and i didn't want to partake and i'd make it up to them some other time i got a few messages and a couple of phone calls pleading me to come however i still didn't intend to the night of their drink i would start to stop by late because i read a message from my brother's girlfriend's sister who's my age which she

explained in a sweet way that it wouldn't be the same without you i was also a little concerned about my brother getting home so i decided to go i turned up and from the get-go the pressure was on from the sister and the mother for me to drink and i still don't want to be involved eventually i gave in and had quite a bit i know that me drinking is my responsibility my fault however i can't help feeling a little bit betrayed because of the pressure that night what do you think i should do avoid and try and work the rest out myself or maybe confront? Keep up the good work. Your podcast can be the highlight of my day. I like can be because

sometimes the episodes aren't great. Yeah, sometimes they're absolutely fucking dodgy dog shit. Yeah, it's a heavy one. But actually one that I've found myself in and also a really close mate of mine has been a part of it as well. well tom i don't

know if you're aware how sound works but but that's not my phone it's not my phone genuinely it's not my phone well it's coming from here okay it's three messages yeah right okay great makes sense doesn't it um look um i've i've been in this position a few years back. So a lot of my life, like yourself, I was a boozer. I liked drinking a lot. It was very much a part of my sort of culture from sort of leaving school, really, was sort of that pub life, and especially sort of like probably four or five times a week at least sort of after work in the pub till the pub closed um and then uh a couple years ago i was sort of

quite ill and so went to the doctor it turned out i had quite what was like liver enzymes very very high dangerously high actually for a person my age so the doctor was like you need to you need to give this you know to give up drinking for quite a long time so i sort of i found that quite difficult at first and because yeah i've always that's one one of the things i found hard about kobe to extend but you know not socializing i've always been a very social person you know whether that's gigging whether that's going out with friends so i sort of was really worried about what happened with my friendship group what happened about the people i was close to how would i would sort of cope and actually my wife was very sort of strict with the fact that you've

been told that this is all this is going to be lethal effects on your you know your sort of liver you know your liver goes everything goes type thing so I sort of had to I had a chat in the end with sort of two or three of my really close friends it was like look this is a situation I'm in I can't drink I'm not going to drink I'm probably going to sort of swerve quite a lot of these sort of social things and that is that's just primarily for my health and yeah i and from that moment really i sort of that that's meant i've cut down my drinking still have a beer i still go out and have a laugh but i don't i don't i don't do it as much and i even when we were filming romp quite a few times people would have drinks i can i got happy to sit there happy to sit there over water i've got to a place now where i know i'm good enough company sober drunk whatever but

i know that i don't don't ever feel that i can be bullied into having a drink if i don't want to have a drink and i think that the only way of doing that is what i'm trying to get to is being honest and up front and and actually i think i mean that that comes to all mental health situations is actually encouraging yourself to be open to these people and say, look, this is why I'm not doing it. This is why I feel that it doesn't bring out the best part of who I am as a human being. And I think people, if they truly care about you, which these people seem to do, they will listen.

And I think, I mean, you seem like a good guy on the basis that people want you there. You probably, you know, like most of us, you're probably fearing that you're a worse drunk than you are because if you were that bad, people wouldn't be dying for you to be around. But if it's something that's in your head, I think speak to people and just be open about it, my friend. And I wish you the best of luck. Right, go on, Rob.

This is actually something that I've struggled with as well, to be honest with you, because I basically, about two years ago, I've always been, when I'm drunk, I become a bit sort of, I don't like my behaviour when I'm drunk. I don't like the feeling of being out of control. And so actually, as time's gone on, I've actually felt,

I don't like what I'm like when I'm drunk. And it all came to a head a couple of years ago when I was on a night out and i got really smashed and i just felt like my behavior was was a bit over the top i mean nothing like major but you know when you wake up you know that the fear was real and the fear was you know that fear of like fuck what was i like last night man do you mean and i was around people that weren't really close friends, you know, mates and people I work with. And you sort of think I've made a real dick of myself there. So I actually decided to stop drinking completely.

And and I didn't know how long I was going to do it for. But to my mind at that time, I thought maybe I'll never drink again. It's the truth of it. And it's really difficult, you know, because it wasn't, you know, I'm not an alcoholic. It was really difficult, you know, because it wasn't, you know, I'm not an alcoholic, but I just decided I didn't want to drink. And I totally relate to your sentiments about when you turn up the pressures on. There's something about British culture that when you say you're not drinking, unless you've got a story about how you drinking once led to you killing someone,

they just, people don't care. They just think, come on, get on it. I remember going out on a night out with a load of mates, and they were all drinking, and I wasn't. And one of them honestly said the words, what's the fucking point in going out of you then? What's the point in you coming out? Because I wasn't drinking. There is that pressure. So what happened in the end is I ended up giving up for about six months eight months and then at that time I thought you know what I feel ready to sort of like Tom said drink in moderation and to be honest with you I do get I do get really drunk sometimes on on very small occasions very infrequently but when I do it's always with people that I really that I that are really close friends of mine do you know what I mean because it's just I just feel more comfortable what I

would say to you is you have to go through a period of telling people you don't want to drink I don't want to drink I'd like to moderate my drinking you have to do that a couple of times and then after that people just understand that's what happened to me is that I would sort of go I'm not I don't want to drink and I had to go through a barrage of kind of questions and piss taking. And then after that people that, and you shouldn't have to go through that. It's the truth of it. But you know, sometimes that is the nature of our friends and it's not coming from a bad place.

They want you to have a good time and they really closely correlate drinking with having a good time. So that's where that's coming from. It's not that they're being horrible. they want you to engage in the night but once you've explained that to them a few times you'll find that it just kind of goes away a little bit so what i would say is you know it will be tough but if they know that if they keep putting pressure on you you will eventually drink then they also know that it works so what you're sort of basically doing is exacerbating the problem because even if you turn up saying i don't want to drink they sort of got an inkling that if they put the pressure on you that you will do eventually so you know i would say if you've made a decision not to drink that night as an experiment you know to just get

yourself into the habit of it stick to it do you mean and and and then do that a few times and get to a point where you feel sort of comfortable with it it would be my advice do you mean yeah and i think the other thing is not um feeling not ashamed but not feeling like i'm not drinking so i'm just going to be quite quietly sitting there i think we can all let me and robin as a part of our jobs when you're gigging and you're doing stand-up sometimes i don't ever drink before i go on stage or or before i sort of do any sort of performance so sometimes you can end up being surrounded by people who are smashed and you're sober. I think, but if you're with close friends, in fact, I think it's making sure that you still make sure you're a part of the evening. And so that you don't feel like you'd sort of, I don't know, like, you know, you hold back a bit just because you're not drinking.

I think that's one thing I found is that actually, you know what, I was far happier at times not drinking and having a laugh and whatever. And don't get me wrong now, you know, like Rob, I still, but I also think it's, you know, being surrounded by people you love and trust. Actually, quite a few people ask us to, I think this is almost, to do a drunk episode of this. I know, I saw that as well, yeah. Yeah. But the other thing is, it's like, you know,

I think the point that Tom made that's excellent is we have this thing where we associate drinking with having a good time. And, you know, actually the truth is I've had, when I was like doing my sort of stint of not drinking at all, I had loads of great nights out where I wasn't, I wasn't drinking.

And what was great about it is I don't want to start getting sort of, uh, sanctimonious about it. What was great about it was I'd have a nice night. I'd go when i want it never gets out of hand and i knew that i was going to be all right the next morning for whatever i had on the next day i mean because you get to a stage you think i don't think i can afford to write off my next day or two days for this man so we've got particularly in british culture we get

ourselves into a situation we think it isn't a night out unless you're on it and that just simply isn't the case um so yeah look good luck with it man um it's hard i mean you're much younger than us so it will actually be you know that kind of makes it more difficult because young people are sort of under more pressure so uh so good luck with it man let us know how it gets on good luck my g go forward with force do you go forward with force you sound like a you sound like a wonderful bloke so like a really really nice guy well way to too sarcastic at the end. I'm not being sarcastic.

I'm telling you, he sounds like a really nice guy. I'm not doing anything. The way, yeah. What are you being so... What? That's my little bit where I go, you sound like a dreamboat. Did I say he sounds like a dreamboat?

He sounds like a nice guy. Yeah, you sound wonderful. Yeah, he does sound wonderful. You sound delicious. Thank you very much for getting in touch. Good luck. I mean, bearing in mind, you have, not less than two weeks ago

said that about someone before I'd read the fucking email. Before I get into this, what's your experience with Edinburgh? Actually, let me just do the email. Hi, guys. Big fan of the show. I'm Edinburgh-born and bred. Well, having the Fringe on your doorstep is great if you have the time to take in shows.

It can also be a royal pain in the arse if you actually have to go about living and working in the city centre due to how busy and often impossible it is to go ten feet without being hassled to take in a show. Quite often the comics I've seen seem stressed out their minds and almost manic when trying to get you along to their show. So my question is, what is your own take on the festival?

Is it actually enjoyable as a performer or do you spend too much time worrying about how the show is perceived? Also, where does it rank in terms of the big comedy events thank you paul tom hey over to you hey palmer man um great email very good email if i'm honest with you i found one of the worst things about the festival is uh it's the implications it has on people who live in that city i found like it really cringy having to fly people who are clearly not looking to go to a show i found that really hard and and i mean i don't know about you i only ever did the free fringe so i only ever did it where i had to go and fly myself that i think the comedians actually

sort of there's a there's an air of the like comedians that go up there where i think they're probably a little there's a yeah they're just people handing out flyers i found the spectacular sort of you know some of the plays and some of the bigger shows that sort of like these you know the street theater and all that i found just absolutely bonkers i was like this is crazy like um if i'm honest how did i find it i i love it in brazil city i've been there um to watch football i've been there with how my stag do there i think it's a fantastic city for the fantastic people what i think of the festival Edinburgh is a city. I've been there to watch football. I've been there. I had my stag do there. I think it's a fantastic city full of fantastic people. What I think of the festival?

I think the festival is a crock of shit that's middle class. I think it's a very middle class vibe. I think I did a thing talking about social mobility up there about two years ago. And my view on Edinburgh was that was probably the first time that I felt really, really sort of really working class and quite, not poor, but I felt like, wow, this, my background, I think it's changed slightly now, comedy. I think me and Romesh, there was a time, I don't know how you felt, Rom,

but I think when we were getting into it, there was people like Rom and Beckett and Catherine Ryan, people that sort of felt like they probably came from similar sort of backgrounds to myself. But there's a lot of middle class vibe that I didn't necessarily feel a part of. And I sort of felt very much like an outsider when I was there, the few times that I went up there. And yeah, I found it to be quite clicky.

Yeah, I haven't really got many good things to say about it as a festival. Edinburgh as a city, brilliant. And also I think the pressure that gets put on. I think there's less of that. I think people like Mo Gilligan and people who have now sort of made a base for themselves without going up there. And Romesh as well, do you know what I mean? I think Romesh had sort of built a career on the circuit.

Edinburgh wasn't the thing that made you, was it? No, I don't think so. I mean, listen, I went up there and got nominated. No, no, you got nominated for a brilliant show, but what I mean by that... Because I'm a fucking don't. Yeah, but I mean, no, it'd be interesting, because, yeah, for me, I've got, you know,

like, I haven't got great memories of Edinburgh. If I'm honest, the first year I think I went, I stayed in Leith before Leith got um, like really sort of gentrified. And I loved it. Cause I ended up just like hanging around with people from leaf and ended up just getting on a pitch with them and, you know, coming off the back of talking about alcoholism,

just got leathered with a lot of beer. That's where I sort of, yeah. But, you know, but, um, I haven't really got many good things to say about as a festival.

I've got some pretty horrible. I do think like, it's a bit of a, it's a bit of a weird one for me because like you know like i just i was obviously being faux uh arrogant there but you know i went up to i went up to the festival and i cut my teeth you know you did you go it's a good opportunity to do loads of gigs there and you do your shows there and getting nominated does get you some attention and stuff like that but i did it's a weird thing where I really do feel like an outsider going to the

Edinburgh Fringe Festival. And I don't know if there are people that don't feel like that, but there are a number of reasons why I feel like an outsider. One of them is the fact that I, I am perceived as a mainstream comedian and you know, I remember like when I went up one year some like there was some article guardian article about how comics like me are just going up to make money and you know they're not really there to push the art form forward or whatever snooty thing

there was the other reason is that like tom says it's very very sort of upper middle class and quite snooty and you can feel like if you're not you're not doing that kind of thing you're never really going to do well then the other thing is it's very white you know and that that's something they've they've tried to to tackle more recently but like it there are there tv people go there and it can be good and it and you know people came to see me in edinburgh and and you do get benefits from it. But I don't know, man, there are lots of acts that feel like they're going there and they're sort of going there as outside. And I don't know if everyone feels like that, but I know that there are people that love Edinburgh and I just don't. And part of it is that part of it is, to be honest with you, is the fact that when I first went to Edinburgh,

I thought it was going to be a thing where I take up an hour. I practice, practice, practice, and it makes me better as a comedian and it's great. But what actually happened was you're under so much scrutiny, you're so worried about getting fucking absolutely slagged off for your show, like early doors, when you're trying to develop it, that you actually just start freaking out.

So I do feel for comics who put so much into Edinburgh and suddenly you turn up there you've worked on a show for the whole year and it turns out your show is not going to be the one one of the ones that's going to be talked about or raved about that year and you just sort of think what am i getting out of this do you mean like most people most performers you see in edinburgh are losing money hand over fist to be there and perform. So, you know, I always feel for people that go there because they're doing it because they love it and they're just trying to make their way in it.

But, you know, performers in the main, and even the ones that are doing really well, are breaking even. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's only a very small percentage of them that are actually making money. So, you know, I do think that edinburgh festival has made a lot of people and there's great stories from the festival i also think um whoa what are you listening to this for wait who's talking you know you're driving a 2024

ford escape with available alexa built in so you can change the music oh Oh yeah. Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details,

visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. In today's economy, saving money is like an extreme sport. Coupon clipping. Robo code searching. It takes skill, speed, sweat. Unless we're talking Kudo's new phone, internet, and streaming bundle. With the Happy Stack, you can sit back and stack up the savings on Kudo Internet,

a sweet phone plan, Netflix, Disney Plus, and Amazon Prime, all starting at just $99 a month. Stack more, spend less. The Happy Stack, only at Kudo. Conditions apply. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection, free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. There's things wrong with it that need sorting out.

Were you full-time when you first went out as a comedian? today. There's things wrong with it that need sorting out. Were you full-time when you first went out as a comedian? Were you a full-time comedian? Were you still teaching? No, I went up doing the mixed bill shows when I was still teaching. And then... I suppose you always worked perfectly after teaching, though, because that's your summer holidays, right? Well, you say that, mate, but I basically lied to my school

to do the whole month and said that I couldn't be there at a level results day and then i went back to the school uh in september and they've got a whole they had a whole folder of like reviews and stuff from when i was in edinburgh and i basically got fucking immediately demoted so you know in some ways in some ways it works well if you're honest with the people that you're working for and you're up front and you actually behave like an adult if you're honest with the people that you're working for and you're upfront and you behave like an adult. If you're a pathetic, spineless little piece of shit like me, it's a problem. It's almost identical, the same thing.

What happened? First year, I was still scaffolding. Everyone told me, you have to go to Edinburgh. At the time, I had an improv character. I was just doing different characters with audience members and whatever. And I didn't have an agent at the time.

So I was like, well, I'm going to go up there. I want to do this thing with a guy called Brian Lacey, who's great. And he sort of compared the thing. Lovely guy. Top guy, amazing guy, lovely man. He got like fucking seriously cola while we were up there. Like he nearly died.

Oh mate, that was fucking, I've heard that story. So we were living together in Leith, and he got, like, that was the most out of, like, no one talked to us. We literally were going to bars and whatever, and people would go,

we were going to the library bar and being deprived of drinking at a Weatherspoons. And he's a great comic, actually, and now he's a brilliant sports, sort of, journalist and sports presenter. He's a great guy. So we did this show,

and we were up together and we were doing that and uh i basically turned around to my the scaffolders that i worked with and was like i'm going to edinburgh for a month and they were like what why like what are you fucking doing and i was like look here's what we could do is like so when you're at the time you're part of like a four-man gang yeah and i was like if you guys do like if you can work as a three-man gang i'll give you like half of my wages for the month do you know i mean and you just take those or like half of whatever deal we came to as long as i can get some of my wages do you know i mean coming through so they're like cool yeah we'll black it for you um and after the month they turned around to me and said we got so much more done without you

being around um it's actually easier for us to be a three-man gang and take all of your wages i was like what the fuck i don't we've been so bad much better without you fucking around and being stupid and having to leave early for gigs or whatever it's just fucking financially a lot and that was almost like the time where i had to go i need to fucking go full-time doing stand-up now kind of thing i mean like yeah i still fucked about and got a few jobs here and there but that was like what the fuck uh so um yeah but that was so brian went out and got i can't remember what he ate. He ate some chicken from somewhere and he got like, I've never seen anyone so ill.

And then he got like E. Coli within his joints. And he's, he got like, he was close to the fuck. He lost his job. He fucking, he nearly died.

The guy, he's fucking horrible situation. All for me. It took him out. It took him out of commission for quite a long time. Yeah. Nearly a year. And he was doing really well.

He was a fucking really good standup man. He was like, yeah, I remember I did, I did big Valley with him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He was a fucking really good stand-up man he was like yeah remember I did I did Big Valley with him yeah yeah he's a really fucking good comic but you

know man good man and he's doing great things with the UFC now I think and yeah Benetton but yeah but yeah so it's it's I mean it's a long answer but um shout

out Edinburgh the people of Edinburgh because they are some of the best people you can have a good night out with and uh yeah and some of the sort of the earth as we say okay here's a question this is from uh Helen Marr hi Owl and Wolf I've just finished inhaling

my Friday treat McDonald's breakfast which I generally eat my at my desk while I work from home for ease but mostly I don't want others to see what's in my order in my bag i order a hideous number of extra hash browns plus what is often multiple wrap muffin flatbread combos same goes for lunch orders where given sweet little joy i get elsewhere i enjoy customizing my orders for example uh when you when they let you add extra cheese or pickles uh getting to my point in my question i was wondering a few two things she says a few, but she only asked two questions. One, what are your go-to standard fast food orders? I can tell you a lot about people.

For example, I get a lot of shit from friends when I order what they consider to be a pointless fillet of fish. Truth is, they're tasty and it makes me feel superior. Well, you need to listen to our last episode where we talk about seaspiracy. Two, customizing food. Do you have a food hack that you love to deploy? See George Egg on Instagram for the kind of thing. I mean, you know,

George Egg does... George Egg is an absolute G, by the way. George Egg, I love George Egg. I love watching him. So he does that. I watched a video of him recently where he took a...

He got a Greg... I love this, by the way. He took a Greg's cheese and onion pasta in a jar of little jalapeno slices and he just fucking loaded that little tin with a little bit of hot pepper

goodness he you know he got in touch with me about my what's it's and uh time tomato soup and was like he was just like he was he was like mate i love it do you want to do a video and i was like yeah i love that i've got to do the video he's he's an absolute g george okay so guys if you if you want to see tom commit and do that video where he adds some watsits to some soup you know what to do messaging willfowlpod at gmail.com yeah sweet sweet george egg okay uh i regularly add fresh this is not me this is the uh this is helen i regularly add fresh garlic and a touch of lemon juice or vinegar to instant noodles for a bigger flavor oh yes yes yes class classy okay so quite so we've sort of talked about

standard fast food orders a little bit, but do you do any food hacks? Firstly, look, I'm going to answer the first question. My McDonald's order is a staple. I love McDonald's. I'm not even going to quabble with that or hide behind any sea of phantom deceit.

I love McDonald's. You can quote me on that i will go for helen i can't imagine the context in which i'd have to quote you but i will go for if they're on the menu i'll go for a grande big mac you know the big old big mac um i'll get that it's a large meal with fries and obviously the coca-cola i don't go coke zero and i don't go dark cake i'm not one of those g's i don't hustle that vibe i will then get i'm going to tell you this before you carry on coke zero you can barely tell the difference in coke zero and coke yeah i know but i just feel like a bit of a wanker when you hear my order going can i get coke zero and i realize that anyway carry on and i get five chicken strippers with the sweet,

chilli sweet sauce. Yeah. I get a McFlurry and an apple pie to dip into it. And sometimes I will have a double cheeseburger to eat on the way from the drive-through bit to the parking space. And that is my order. And yes, and sometimes I do have,

back in the day when you could go to the little touchscreen things i would fuck about with that shit for hours it was like playing on the computer game i would like literally i remember going with my mate james uh and my mark mcqueen and we were on uh some services and they were both like you know and i was like i need some time on this fucking thing i need some time on the touchscreen because i'm gonna fucking hustle this vibe and add shit going to add shit. I'm going to take some stuff away. I hate lettuce and I hate... Tell you what, Burger King can go fuck

themselves for a number of reasons. Burger King pulled my pants down. I was the voice of Burger King. And they got rid of me because I sounded too... Can you do me a little sample of what you used to do? Give us a line. The new chicken royale. Right? All new chicken royale. Right? All new Chicken Royale.

Like that. Right? And look. That sounds, I could, I could listen to you do that shit. Right, so,

this is, and I loved Burger King at the time, right? And I was like, look, this is probably, this is what, number one,

I sat down with them, some of the heads of Burger King UK, and I was like, I want to fucking book Burger King where it should be, at the top of the fucking tree. I will and i was like i want to fucking book bird king where it should be a top of the fucking tree i will not eat another fucking burger for another place i fucking made all these promises that i didn't have to make did you say did you say these words yeah yeah i was like look i'm invested in this you're not just getting my voice you're getting

my fucking you're getting my fucking my faith and my honesty. Yeah, loyalty was the word I was looking for, for burgers. Why don't you use a word that exists instead of making one up for a change? Right. And they were sort of,

I think, even blown away and a bit freaked out by this. And then in the booths, I did like the chicken royale, whatever. And it was like, go big,

let's fucking battle with it. Da da da. And I lost, I did one bout of fucking adverts and i was tweeting a lot about burger king and i was doing pictures of me at burger king and sort of you know and then they just completely just said i sounded too eager and too keen about the burgers and uh yeah they got rid of me so this explains this explains a hell of a lot by the way this explains a hell of a lot really yeah because one of the running themes

since we've been beginning to do this podcast is what feels like a completely disproportionate rage towards anybody that does an advert that you feel like doesn't use the product. And I was wondering, I don't know why Tom gets so ridiculously angry about this. And now it all makes sense. You basically got bitch-slapped

by Burger King. Because you committed to them 100%. And now, every time you watch an advert and you see a celeb doing it, you're just sitting there like, I bet he doesn't fucking use it. I committed my loyalty and my fucking heart and my brain

and I said, listen, you've got me now. I won't have a Five Guys. I'll fucking never have an Honest Burger. If you give me that fucking vibe, I'm fucking in, man. I'm invested. They gave me one advert and in fact, they'll know you too. And you know what then? And no offense to the person who does it now,

it's like the new Chicken Royale. It's a hell of a burger. It's that really cool. I want an advert to be saying, this is the best fucking burger you're going to have it'll be cool about have you thought about approaching mcdonald's uh yeah no i'm actually i've been messaging quite a lot on instagram and that's why i'm saying mcdonald's fucking i love mcdonald's i love the earnesty of mcdonald's and the decency behind them okay so that is my order um and i enjoy every every mouthful and

every morsel. At the moment, I'm a fucking wild gun. I'm a free gun. I can go to five guys. I can go to anywhere. Until someone fucking turns around and says, right, we want you. I'm very much a fast food slut.

You'll find me in a KFC on a Tuesday, a fucking McDonald's on a Wednesday, maybe a Burger King. That's not Burger King. Burger King's big problem, by the way, is the big tomatoes they put in the fucking burgers. A tomato has no place in a burger. This might be the longest answer to a question I've ever fucking heard.

I like tomato in burgers. Really? Yeah. I need to... I can't order a lot from McDonald's because in terms of the vegetarian-vegan game, McDonald's are fucking behind almost everyone. Not for long.

I've heard rumours. I've heard rum rumors from an insider i've heard rumors too and i'm sure that rumor involved them taking what they put into the veggie burger and turning it into a different shape and calling it a different thing mcdonald's we know that the dippers are made out of the same shit as the fucking burger make something new dickheads anyway i've got to admit something now because lisa now listening to the podcast as we know one day when the children were very young I had I was looking after them Lisa was out somewhere and I said to them let's go to McDonald's and they got so excited like I couldn't believe how

excited they were they're losing their minds and um I took them to mcdonald's let them order whatever they want they tucked into it thank you so much dad this is amazing so it's all right said mom probably won't want you having mcdonald's so let's just keep this as a little treat to ourselves right they go yeah okay about a month later i was with lisa and we were at some kid's birthday party and one of the other parents said, do your boys eat a lot of fast food? And Lisa went, oh, actually, weirdly, they've never had it. And she went, what?

And she said, oh, no, we've never taken them to Burger King or McDonald's or whatever. I just sort of thought they're a bit young for that, maybe when they're a bit older. And then it was that point that I realized that I had broken their non-McDonald's duck without Lisa knowing. And to this day, to this moment, in fact,

I imagine if Lisa's listening to this, she hasn't known that's the case. So can I just take this opportunity to say, Lisa, I took the boys to McDonald's. They really enjoyed it. Please can you forgive me? Have they had McDonald's since? Yeah. Actually, now it's a once-a-week treat for them.. They really enjoyed it. Please, can you forgive me? Have they had McDonald's since? Yeah.

Actually, now it's a once-a-week treat for them. I like McDonald's. Do they still get as excited? Mate, they lose their minds. The boys have. Shall I tell you who does get most excited? Your favourite, Alex. Of course he does.

He's an absolute G. Whenever it's McDonald's time, he's pretty much backflipping across the living room. He's just so buzzing room I'm still the same I'm 41 and that's how I rock this is why I think Alex is such a hero

yeah he's just he just knows man got kindred spirit his order bearing in mind he's a nine year old so I know you're going to be

slightly disappointed by the quantity of the food but even for a nine year old I think this is pretty impressive nine nuggets right good large fries good boy

milkshake good lad finished with Smarty McFlurry is pretty impressive. Nine nuggets. Right, good. Large fries. Good boy. Milkshake. Good lad. Finished with Smarty McFlurry. What you need to do, and if I could just take Alex under my wing, is I'm looking forward to the day where he adds a cheeseburger to that. That's going to be a very proud day

in the Reagan-Athenault household. So, yeah, I mean, it was a simple email, that, but I hope you've got a very long, sweet answer. It was nearly 10 minutes long, the answer. It. So yeah, it was a simple email that, but I hope you've got a very long, sweet answer. It was nearly 10 minutes long. The answer. It was.

Yeah. I think my contribution was about what? A minute. So, um, guys, do you know what? I think we should talk a bit more about food tax.

Uh, not now, but at some point. Um, okay, guys, thank you so much for listening to the bonus episode i hope you enjoyed it hey and guys you make this show what it is because we love you guys god um i know you're doing it ironically but i still find it irritating it's so weird i do it to you please can you email wolf outowpod at gmail.com to let us know what you think about the Jamie Redknapp fiasco.

Yeah. And we will see you. If Romesh is wrong on this one, he will do a video of him jumping on a trampoline that lasts 15 minutes. Absolutely won't. Absolutely won't.

You know what we should do one day? I don't know when we do it, but one day we should do like a big one, like a massive bet, like a massive argument whenever we get into one. And I don't know when we do it, but one day we should do like a big one, like a massive bet, like a massive argument whenever we get into one. And I'll hold this in my back pocket.

And if I'm wrong, I'll eat a chicken nugget. What? My guy. Well, yeah, but what would I have to do? That's massive. You'd have to fuck a chicken. It has to be...

What are redneck vibes? It has to be equally like against our values. Yeah It has to be equally, like, against our values. Yeah, okay. No, that's not too much. As long as I can pick the chicken, I'm okay. My guy. All right. I'll see you next time.

Thank you, guys. Take care. Peace out. Bye-bye.