Wolf and Owl - Bonus Email Episode #17

Episode Date: June 18, 2021

First we check Rom’s mercury levels and get to the bottom of becoming a weather presenter. Then we tackle email questions on… fantasy 5-a-side football teams, decriminalising cannabis, advice on dropping your old mates, rugby club sleepovers and secret tattoos. Thanks for all your messages - keep them coming at [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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and it's safe to say that i don't know what it is. Maybe I'm dehydrated. Maybe it's because I'm not... I'm trying to, like, be careful with my diet or whatever. But I've been a bit grump. Was he saying grumpy? Is grumpy the right... You know what I think it is? Go on. I think that you are... Your body and your mercury level is in touch with the planet and the weather.

So, you know, it's grey outside. Have you looked outside? Have you looked outside today? Yeah, I have looked outside. Why are you talking to me like a... I'm not a shut-in. No, I'm just saying. I'm just saying, have you looked

outside? I have looked outside. So it's quite bleak out. I dropped Theo off at school today. Right. Yeah, I find that quite stressful. Anyway, go on. Sorry. Yeah, so what's happened is I think you, quite a lot of people, there's a certain type of person whose body is in tune with the mercury levels of the earth. And I think you, quite a lot of people, there's a certain type of person whose body is in tune

with the mercury levels of the earth, and I think you might be one of them. What are the mercury levels of the earth? I think it's mercury levels of the earth. It's basically where, like, you know, sometimes it rains, sometimes it's sunny, sometimes it's windy, sometimes it snows. Talking about the weather, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, right? There you get certain people in the world whose body is in tune with that so if it's sunny you feel really happy you're skipping about no no i didn't what you i think you misunderstood my question so what i'm asking you is what the mercury levels are what you heard is could you say the same thing that you said before but longer what it is right what it is is mercury yeah mercury goes up and down and that is that was in a thermometer yeah yeah but also that's how weather's like mercury

in the bottom around the core of the earth it's loads of mercury right i don't and that is that is how the weather goes up and down, I think. That's how I... Where did you... What's your source on this? I think most of my stuff is someone's told me something down the pub or, like, you know... Okay. Look, look, look.

I don't know that you're not right, but should we have a look at the logic of it? Yeah. Why does the mercury rise and fall if it's around the core of the Earth? Well, if you think about it, like, mercury in a thermometer, right? Yeah. That is, like, that's going to go up and down because of the weather.

Yeah, do you know why it's going up? Why? Because it's hot. Yeah, correct. But the heat makes it expand, so that's why it gets forced up the thermometer, yeah. So that's why I'm saying, I think in your body,

it's probably got, like, more mercury than most people. My body's got mercury in it. My body has got the poisonous substance mercury in it. I thought you were a little bit of mercury in us, no? I don't think... Listen, I don't know. It's difficult because you sort of talk around things that I don't really know about.

Let me just Google. Do we have mercury in us? You just talk with such confidence google do we have mercury in us you just talk with such confidence do we have mercury in our body okay that's something that's been quite commonly googled oh fuck and what's it say we do right oh shit we do almost all the people in the world have at least trace amounts of mercury in their bodies. Mm-hmm. So you've probably got excess mercury. Reflecting its prevalence in the environment. Yeah. So you've probably got more than most.

That's what I'd say. And then basically what's happened is, so when it's hot, your body will be like, oh, fucking hell, like mercury levels will rise, and you'll feel more like sort of happy and everything. When it drops, the mercury levels drop, and you don't feel as confident. And I think that's probably what's happening there. Okay. All right. of happy and everything when it drops the mercury levels drop and you don't feel as confident and

yeah and i think that's probably what's happening there okay all right i mean it's we're sort of in a weird situation here where i'm absolutely certain you're wrong but i don't have enough knowledge to really kind of question interrogate with any maybe you know what could be quite interesting is getting a weather expert on to sort of either email in or chat to i think it's know, let's reach out to the weather. Yeah, I think that makes sense because a lot of the times when I'm watching TV and they do the weather, I think we should

get one of these guys on the podcast. I'd love to hear some chat about that. Actually, you know what? Weather people have become more and more sort of like I think they've just got a bit more swag about them than they used to have. There's no way in the world that back in the day they were sort of like an old geography teacher who probably sort of smelt

a little bit of tobacco and stuff. And now they've sort of got quite a vibey sort of way about them. Like they wear a Larry shirt and yeah, I quite sort of think,

yeah, I quite respect the old weather people. Who are you thinking of when you're saying this? That Charlotte woman who does it on Good Morning Britain.

She's quite, she's got quite an edge to her. Actually, Alex, he used to do it on Good Morning Britain, he was pretty cool as well. He's actually been bumped up now. That never used to happen. He's now on the main panel. He's so cool.

Yeah, he's managed to parlay that weather gig into a gig at the big table. Well, how do you even become a weather person? That would be something that would interest me. Like, weather is so interesting, isn't it? I don't... Do you know what you sound like? You sound like a bloke on a first date,

desperately trying to sound like he's got things to talk about. Just saying something so fucking inane as if it's profound. You know, because weather is so interesting, isn't it? What the fuck are you talking about? No, but it is interesting. I revel in the fucking, like, you know, I'll look at, I've got four or five weather apps, I'll look at them in the morning,

sort of sum them up, see where they're all at. Obviously they're all sort of quite conflicting. I'm like, who's getting information from where and why? It's quite interesting to think about. Yeah, well, it's a nice insight into the conundrums that you travel through in the morning. Just imagine you're walking the dog,

confusingly looking at your phone. People walking by are going, do you reckon he's all right? No, he's probably just doing that thing where he's trying to figure out why two different websites say the weather's going to be slightly different in his area. Well, you know what you could do? It's launch your own weather app, look at, say, five other weather apps and sort of see what the majority are and then just put that one out.

Yeah, that's... I just think that could be quite cool. Yeah, that would be really cool. Actually, if there's anyone out there who makes apps and could do that kind of thing, just get in touch with the the podcast email in uh we'd be interested to talk to you like the wolf and our weather that could be quite cool so what twice a week and you know what right this could be the funniest thing if it's like a really nice sunny day there's a real vibe outside it could be like you could have like it's a wolf day and if it's a bit grey and sad outside, it could be called an owl day.

Do you know, these insults that you do would be a lot better if you didn't get so proud and giggly with yourself that you were thought of it, that you can't even finish saying it. You're so pleasing yourself, aren't you? I could see you were going as you were doing the wolf bit because you knew what was coming

okay do you want to do some emails yes do some sweet emails that's what we're here for thank you once again to the absolutely wonderful love of my life

the swan how is the Swan? Well, she's right here. That's why I said all that bullshit. How are you, Lisa? I'm good, thank you. There you go. Some people have asked for a Swan special. Yeah, some people have asked for a Swan special on the podcast.

No. No. Okay, there you go. That's comprehensively answered. Okay, and speaking of the Swan and her false modesty, this is the first email that she's chosen. Hi, Swan, brackets, underrated member of the pod. Right. Love the podcast and both of your shows.

My question to you is, if you both made a five-a-side team of legends of your clubs you support who would it be can you then post up each team on the Wolf and Al Instagram page for everyone to vote now let's be absolutely

honest we're not going to post it on the thing because even if even if we say we're going to it won't happen also I don't know I mean can you off the top of your

heads just reel off the five that would be probably yeah go on Ludac Mccloskey Rio Ferdinand Julian Dix Can you off the top of your head just reel off the five that it would be? Probably, yeah. Go on then. Ludacris McCloskey, Rio Ferdinand, Julian Dix, Declan Rice. How many of that have I done? Four.

Yeah. And probably I'll throw in Paolo Di Canio as well. That'll do me. Yours was easy. I could do yours for you. Okay. Big David Seaman. Yeah.

I'd agree with that. I'd probably throw in Toure at the back. Incredible player on the ball. Yeah. Then definitely Patrick Vieira. You're not having... Dennis Bergkamp, Thierry Henry. You're not having Martin Keogh in there?

No. No, no, no. Toure's a better player five-a-side. He can play the ball. He can tackle. And you've got Vieira with him. Vieira and Toure, Bergkamp and Henry, you don't need any more than that, mate.

You'd win every five-a-side tournament in the world. Look, I know Vieira's amazing, but you've got no place for Mark Overmars in that team. No. No, Mark Overmars really wouldn't even make the bench for me in that Arsenal team. Patrick Vieira is maybe the best player who's ever played football, I think, in a lot of ways. Him and Thierry.

Yeah. Patrick Vieira was incredible. Look, I know this isn't a football podcast, but I remember when we had Gilberto. And Arsenal fans used to criticise Gilberto. He was a good player. I mean, what I would give to have someone like him in the team now...

Well, I wouldn't give anything, actually. It's not my responsibility. But the point I'm trying to make is, you don't know what you've got until it's gone sometimes, you know? Well, you know the trouble with you lot is you were so... What do you mean by you lot?

Arsenal fans. You were so, like, spoiled. Correct. 100% agree with you. Players like Gilberto could have walked into any team in the world. It just wasn't good enough. I mean, look,

we actually had a guy called Rob Scott and actually Big Dommy who were like we used to call Big Dommy he was like the like St. Hillya Vieira

he was a lot like Vieira as a player not as good obviously because he didn't make it to the top and he's like he works in construction still but mate

Vieira was a sick player what is it about what is it about blokes that whenever they talk about whenever they play whatever level they play football at, even if it's just down the leisure centre, they have a kick about with the people they work with,

they always have to name a professional player that they play like. Yeah. I sort of see myself as a bit of a Thierry, really. Do you know what I mean? Sort of up there, pacing and around, sort of take players on. I don't know if you'd be a Thierry Henry would you I'm doing a role play obviously I'm not a Thierry Henry oh no I thought you were saying it was you

no are you fucking joking I thought you were saying it was you do you know what's so sweet about you is there's absolutely no fucking way in the world I should be considering myself a Thierry and you're so lovely you went oh I don't know if I see myself as a Thierry actually what're so lovely you went oh I don't know if I see myself

as a Thierry actually what you should be saying is are you fucking high I was just thinking wow like fucking hell who would you say you're most like

Igor Stepanos oh you know what I actually I will tell you this I for most of my time playing football like Sunday League football,

and even football as a kid, I was a sub. I actually loved being a sub. Did you? Oh, man, I loved it. You sort of got involved in the match day. You had a real laugh. You didn't really have to train or be fit.

You just have a laugh around the place to put up the goal nets, take them down. But I actually used to enjoy being a sub. If someone turns around to me now... How the rest of the team used to talk about you. Oh, yeah, no, I'll tell you what. The good thing about Tom is he's such a dopey type. Nobody ever really talks to him.

If you have a couple of chats with him, he's happy. And then he'll put up and take the other goal nets for you. Yeah, he's a good guy. Mate, that was what I was good at because of my height. I was so good at it. Just you going, I'll do the goal nets. Yeah, no, I find it quite easy, actually, me. Yeah, no, no, because I'm so tall.

It's not a problem. Weather's good, as I said it would be today. Some of you might have had to get a step ladder. Not old Tommy. Look, I can reach you. I told you to bring your moulds out because the weather would be like this. I remember once playing in a five-a-side tournament. And me and a few mates were playing in this thing and

my friend said to the guy that was organizing it said just wear yellow like just wear yellow will be the yellow team we're not got kits over so it's all right so we turned up first of all at the tournament every other team had kits proper kits right yeah and we had like one person had a brazil top on somebody else had like just some random yellow T-shirt that they got from a place they used to work at. Just like just random selection of yellow tops. I'll tell you now, man, they're the teams I always look at and go, this team are going to be good.

Yeah, well, we got destroyed because it's a team of five Asian lads. We're never going to rip up trees. Anyway, we finished the tournament and then we decided to go for a drink afterwards. We just went straight to the pub and then this pub... You go to the pub and we look like we're the fucking

Yellow Gang or something. Just five twats that are wearing... Because we're not wearing kits. It makes it worse. It's just five blokes that look like they happened to have all decided to wear yellow that day to the pub. Oh, man.

Oh, God. I used to love going to the pub in my kit after being a sub as well. You feel like an athlete. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I still sometimes just walk around. I love football tops. Do you wear, okay,

do you wear football tops out and about when you're not going to the football? You know, there's a couple of cooler looking ones, nice ones that I like do you wear okay do you wear football tops out and about when you're not going to the football you know there's a couple of cooler looking ones nice ones that I like that are just sort of

quite like a retro top if I'm going to be bowling about my local town I think retro is the way forward yeah the other thing

I was going to ask retro Italian by the way yeah do you ever wear them on holiday yeah I mean I seldom wear a West Ham shirt

unless I was probably going to a game or I was film zone if I'm on holiday? Yeah, I mean, I seldom would wear a West Ham shirt unless I was probably going to a game or I was film zone. If I'm on holiday, I'd wear like like I say, like an old school Juve shirt or something that's that I'll be knocking around the pool in. You know what I mean? When I'm on holiday, and listen, I'm fully aware.

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would you still not talk to me? If it was, like, quite cool, you know, like one of those ones that you just sort of, you know, sometimes somebody's wearing a football shirt and you think, actually, you could wear that to a bar. Do you know what I mean? Like, you actually look, some of them look like proper, if it was that, then I'd probably think differently. But just like in England, the current England shirt on holiday.

I don't know, man. I think it's a bit off key, to be honest with you. I think if there's a tournament on, I think everyone should wear England shirts. No, if there's a tournament, that's completely different. But like, I'm talking about just randomly. Okay, let me just...

So if it's next year, England get to the semifinals this year. If it's next year and someone's wearing a shirt from this year and it's down by the pool, I'm with you. I'm like, oh mate, that ship has sailed. I think during a tournament, I think you should

get an icy cold, suddy beer and just walk over and go, there we go, my friend. You earned this. If somebody's wearing an English shirt during a tournament, I just go up and I go, you and I are for the same team. Here's a beer. Let's sit down, shoot the shit and talk about why we love England.

What I love at the moment is because that's all everyone's talking about, isn't it? I played golf yesterday and afterwards we sat down and then everyone was basically just going through who their team would be against Scotland. This is my favourite thing. There was a guy who

is a good guy. I play golf with him a bit. He lives up my road. He's actually a real funny character. We started chatting about, you know, that thing of who's a better player, Messi or Ronaldo, right? And he said, that is, right? If you took them both out on the piss for two weeks,

got them both leathers for two weeks, right? And then made them play in a World Cup final. Messi would be a better player. Because he's more naturally talented. I was like, what a great way of judging if someone's good at things. Also, straight out of the Tom Davis school of thought

there. Really long-winded way of saying Messi's the more naturally talented player. I just like the idea of Ronaldo and Messi just looking at each other and going, what? Just like 36 hours into it,

just going, do we still have to continue? No, no, honestly, mate, this is the experiment. This is the test. You've got to do two weeks, mate. This is the ultimate test. This is the ultimate test.

Two weeks in fucking Ocean Beach. So I've got some bad news just coming at the end of this This is the ultimate test. Two weeks in fucking ocean beach. So I've got some bad news just coming out the end of this experiment. Ronaldo's dead. Just turns out he couldn't quite handle it. The sort of level of alcohol

we were taking on board. So I bet she is a better player and more of a man because you can handle his liquor. All right, cool. Ready for another email? Yeah, hit it up, hit it up. Hi, Rom and Tom. My name's Robert.

And my question is, what are your views on the decriminalisation of cannabis? I know it's a controversial subject, but I think before I move on as a society, the subject needs some attention, along with many others, but I'm lazy. Big fan of both of you lads. Big up, my Gs big up my g's catchy man in a bit do you know what robert's email went from being quite sort of like a professor to being quite cool at the end i think maybe he felt like he sounded a bit too professorial and then just sort of let me just make these guys think i'm a bit of a legend towards the end of it well robert i i actually bow my and doth my cap to you sir you like an absolute... You seem like there's so many different sides to you, Robert.

I like that, man. I like that in a human being. Okay. Why don't we extrapolate a gear change in the middle of an email to mean that he's a multifaceted human being? Sure. Right, Robbie boy. Personally, I think, yo, roll it out.

Decriminalise it. I'm a big, big fan of CBD. I absolutely love it. It chills me out big time. Shout out to Nature Can. Nature Can are now actually doing these amazing before bed things that you have, which is CBD, which will just absolutely chill you. They're amazing.

Shout out to Nature Can for that. Speaking of shout outs, on the last episode, A shout-out to Nature Can for that. Speaking of shout-outs, on the last episode, you gave a great shout-out to this drink that you tried on the golf course, this protein drink that you found very thirst-quenching. It's lemon and lime flavour. You couldn't remember the name.

And we found out the name. Yes. Yeah, they've actually got in touch. Let me just get their name out. Let me just fucking bust this out, boy. Isn't it MyGolfProtein? Yes, it is, yeah. MGP.

MGP, yeah. Yeah. MGP. So, guys, they heard the book. I can't believe this has happened. But off the back of... I was very sarcastic off the back of Tom's description. But off the back of Tom's description, the company has found us and told us who they are.

So there you go, Tom. I apologise. Yeah. So shout out to them, NGP. Yeah, I love what you're doing in the world of first crunching protein drinks. And yeah, I don't know actually where to buy them from. So just hit me up on social media and see if...

Yeah, because Tom doesn't know where to buy them from. Could you send them for free to his house? Is that the gist of what you were just saying? I was just saying, I'll support any business. Oh, I don't know where to buy. I'd love to buy. Sadly, I don't know where

the stockists would be, so it'd be much easier if they sort of arrived where I live somehow. Let me just flesh that out for you. But Romesh, I mean, where do you stand on the decriminalisation of cannabis, old friend? Yeah, I'm in favour of decriminalising it. I think it's good, you know.

When I was in LA, I was in LA just where they legalised it. Yeah. And the one thing I would say was weird about that experience is you know like you're so used to weed being in a certain context right normally sort of a bit seedy and and so then I was walking with the kids and Lisa into like a restaurant early evening having dinner and there's two blokes just smoking a fat joint at the front of the restaurant high fives? did you high five them?

no I didn't high five them Tom I don't think he should have been quite cool if he had done that but you know it's one of those things you know like when you see

when you're a dad and you're with your kids and you're over half and you see something cool happening or somebody doing something quite it's so difficult to sort of resist give him the old nod to sort of go yeah i've been where you've

been boys yeah also because in front of your boys you want you want to look cool as well yeah i've actually become very self-conscious i'd love to hear from other dads or other mums and dads that feel like this we're like i'll be having a conversation with someone. There's been a lot of like, when you're on your walks during lockdown, when we had lockdown. And you bump into someone and they have a chat or whatever. What the fuck is going on?

What are you eating? Granola with protein yogurt and banana. It's like, I mean, it's so disgusting watching you eat that oh wait till the end now no no no you you first of all when we logged on here tom was eating marmite peanut butter on toast and then just i don't know if he hoped i wouldn't notice or if we just as i I start talking, he's obviously been thinking about it since we started. As I start talking,

he picks up the bowl and basically, like, facials himself with the protein yogurt. And then I'm going to just watch him lick it from around his mouth while I'm trying to

fucking answer his question. Sorry, old friend. Sorry. No, you carry on eating though. No, no, no, I'll have it after. No, have it now, have it now. I don't want you to be hungry. No, no, no, I'm not hungry.

I just wanted to make sure it was good. Also, it's a noisy thing to eat, granola on a podcast. Oh yeah, this is the thing, is I get very self-conscious about how the kids think about my conversations with other adults. You know, I remember my dad, I used used to remember my dad would have a conversation with someone in

the street when i was with him and obviously you're a prisoner to that conversation you've got to wait for them to finish i remember just thinking oh my god dad that was a bit embarrassing that you said that well that was a bit do you ever have that and so now i sort of worry that my kids are looking at me going actually i actually asked them sometimes them. Sometimes I'll have chatted to a neighbor or something. Don't show that. Don't show that. That shows weakness. What do you mean?

Well, if you turn around to Fionn and go, do you think I'm boring? No, I didn't say it like that. Yeah, but what you... I just go, what do you think of that chat? What? You get them to review your chats? I don't know, review, but like...

80% of chats aren't amazing. I don't know, review, but like... 80% of chats aren't amazing. Yeah, that's a good point. Like, especially like, chats with people that you don't know that well.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's very difficult to sort of like, smash through sort of different subjects and like,

you know, like as usual, it's just like, you know, that's why I pay more attention to the weather because if you've got some knowledge about the weather that's always a good way of them going oh fucking hell he's knowledgeable or flowers or gardens you know that kind of thing okay so

imagine that i'm sort of a bus stop and for some reason you're there too and you want to have a chat with me all right and you're and you're and you're let's see how that goes so what would you do yeah so you're with theo as well yeah yeah I guess so yeah hey Rom hey Theo how you doing you alright

so you know us oh right am I a stranger I'm asking I can be a stranger if you want alright let me be a stranger let me do a stranger

alright so you're this bus is never on time is it I don't actually know we don't normally we don't normally get a bus well actually

like if you got the bus more often you would realize that this bus i think 75 to 80 percent of the time is quite late but actually sean that drives it is uh is a really really good guy he's doing his best but yeah he's got a lot of elderly people who live around here yeah sure sure so how come you don't usually get the bus what you got a car um yeah i do have a car yeah but i just thought we'd get the bus today because uh my son's not really not been on the bus much so you know he said he fancied it so we thought we'd do it well let me tell you he's in for a hell of a hell of a treat today uh actually young man uh your son um if you really want to be treated to something amazing go to london on one of the open top buses and

sit up there and just revel in probably the greatest city that was ever built. Oh, that's a good tip. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, not heard of London. You're quite sarcastic, aren't you? No, I'm being serious. I've not heard about London or the open top buses. If I was you, man, watch that lip in front of sean on the bus or he'll kick you off oh look i'm really sorry my my son i think he needs a toilet

yes you do yes you do yes you do there's no toilets on the bus i found it out the other week uh you wouldn't talk to you listen you wouldn't talk to somebody like that would you yeah but you're like this is what I'm saying no that's that's kind of the vibe I'd go with if I if a stranger came up to me

I always I always think you know try and have some sort of vibe about you you know I wouldn't sort of go into all that

but I'd have something I'd have a bit no because you're quite good you're quite good in a chat I got that what you just did there was horrific I couldn't imagine you

doing that in actual real life. No, no, no. But I mean, yeah. I mean, sometimes I will go... I'm one of those people, if I'm in a queue somewhere, like in a supermarket, I'll always make a joke to the people around me about the queue. Oh my god.

Why? I just think it's quite fun. Like what? What will you say in a queue? Put the wrong time to come here. Or like, yeah yeah i don't know all right that's it you're out um or just sort of like hide the trolley and just have one bit of bread type thing do that joke so everyone and everyone sees what i'm doing do you know what i mean yeah and then i pull the trolley out yeah yeah yeah sort of yeah i was trying to have a bit of a laugh with people yeah that sounds like fun so uh anyway and answer your question yes we would decriminalize we're in

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All starting at just $99 a month. Stack more, spend less. The Happy Stack. Only at CUDO. Conditions apply. Next email. This is from Anonymous. Okay.

Just a quick thank you for the podcast. I hope your fitness journeys are going well, with the nice weather recently there you go little weather ice break oh yeah yeah i like that my question is about letting go of your friends i haven't seen much of my friends lately and even though things are easing off in terms of lockdown i'd like to keep it that way don't get me wrong they're lovely guys and have an infectious energy to be around but every time i'm with them i kind of regret spending my time with them recently took a pause from uni and i've been working to pay off debts from my overdraft because of bad habits i've had trying to spend time to study because my tenants at first and second year were definitely below 10 percent anyway back to my friends i get

invited to go at them for different to different motives and it's come to a point that i've had to delete all social media to cut contact. My problem is I don't completely see eye to eye to them. Eye to eye with them. They're more materialistic than me and things that seem

like a waste of time to me like TikTok, talking about FIFA and how much money they'll spend on it. Talking about how horny they are yet be the type of guys to lose their virginities

by 29 like the owl. First of all, have I... Fucking hell, mate. He's really putting the boot in on me there. Two footer than you, yeah. Jesus Christ.

Wow. Wow. He's basically compared, like, these guys who he thinks are dweebs. To me? Yeah. I don't really mind being not anonymous, because I doubt they'll listen to this, and if they did, at least we'll have something cool to talk about.

My fucking... Jesus Christ. But my question is, how do I tell them to fuck off without being rude about it my current method is to not just look at group chats and say I'm busy whenever any of them call me back, I love them to bits it sounds like it

doesn't it yet but I just want to be around people who are more productive and better people they say you become the five people close to you. And I'm at a point where I want to be close to people who are on to better things, not mediocrity. Have you guys ever dealt with anything like this? Any advice would be appreciated. Jesus.

Wow. A lot to unpack there. Yeah, it is. Personally. Personally. First of all, I was 28. All right? Personally, I was one of your friends as well.

I wouldn't be surprised if Tom was all one of your friends as well I wouldn't be surprised if Tom was all five of your friends at some point listen the truth of the matter is you know what age will teach

you is that you need different different sorts of friends I think anyway you need different friends for different things you'll have your

sort of friends that you play football with or later in life, you might play a little round of golf with. and then that'll be a lot different chat from say, sort of, you're more like educated friends that you'll sit down and chow over like, you know,

like the fucking subjects of scholarships and stuff like that. So you'll have different sorts of friends for different, you know, those are the two types of conversation you have. Correct. Then you have, then you'll have friends of conversation you have. Correct. Yeah. And then you have, then you'll have friends that you go to football with,

you know what I mean? You'll have different sort. And actually the joy of life, I think he's having as many different characters within it. Cause if you, if you just pick one group and go, Oh, that's what I'm going to, you know,

I'm going to be, I'm going to hang around with nerds. Then, you know, when I was at school, I had friends in every camp. That's what I used to sell from group to group. No one knew where I was going to be the next day.

A little chameleon. Yeah, yeah. One day I would be with the nerds, chatting about, like, fucking, like, encyclopedias and stuff. The next day I'd be with the jocks. You'd move off to the jocks. The nerds would enjoy their day off.

But that was me. And I've carried on that fight. So I think if I was you, my friend, and anonymous, I'd keep these guys. Because what will happen is you'll end up being around a load of productive people who are all quite straight-laced. And you'll think at first, you'll go, oh, this is brilliant. They're all heading somewhere.

And actually, what you'll miss is that banal chat the silliness the joking uh the chats about fifa or whatever uh and you know and and you know life is a rich tapestry enjoy the artwork that's what i'll say bloody hell bloody hell it was sort of i agreed with all of it was quite rambling meandering and then you pull out this succinct little summary just out your little ass there it's incredible that's how i roll baby boy that's how i roll well look anonymous can i just say to you that um um you seem like a nice guy and i understand why listen let's put the dig at my the comment about when i lost my virginity to one side um one of the things that I would say to you is, I understand why you're talking like this,

because you're in this stage of life where you feel like you've underachieved. You want to go on to do bigger and better things, and you're sort of pinning that on your friends for the reasons that you've underachieved up to this point in your mind. But what I would say to you is this. If you genuinely feel like your friends are distracting you or pulling you away from things you should be doing you need to manage that obviously but the idea that your friends are sort of achieving fuck all or whatever the assumption

you're making there is that achievement is like career and making money and being productive and that is not what life is all about that is one thing the reason that it's good to have to make money so that it can enable you to enjoy your life doing other things if you're if you've made a load of money because you've been super productive and you've got a great job but you don't have any friends to to enjoy that money with then what's the fucking point do you mean so what i would say to you is, is these friends, like Tom said, maybe these are friends that you knock about with when you just want to, you just want to have a bit of a blowout. But you have other people that you talk about work things with

or productivity with or whatever. Or maybe you start bringing these topics of conversation in with this group of friends. They might surprise you. You know, it might be the sort of thing that they actually do want to talk about and actually have interesting ideas about. So, you know, what I would say is people often talk, you know it might be the sort of thing that they actually do want to talk about and actually have interesting ideas about so you know what i would say is people often talk you know particularly in groups they will often talk about what they think the prevailing subject is supposed to be but often if you start talking about something else they'll be like yeah actually

i'm quite interested in that like you know i've got my mates we talk about for all the typical classical bloke things that you talk about and then one day someone will start talking about cooking and it turns out everybody's into it then we start sharing recipes and stuff do you know i mean it's like you just don't know so what i would say is don't underestimate your friends you know they they might surprise you you think about as well wrong because we started off as work friends and now we're best buds doing this together so we talk about everything right so yeah yeah we we started off as work friends and now we do this other part of our jobs which is the podcast you're absolutely right yeah but if you wanted a recipe or something just hit me up i'll fucking sure i will do thank you Thanks very much. Okay. Next email is from Emma.

Hi, Romesh and Tom. Not a fan of podcasts, but bloody loving your one. Anyway, this is more aimed at Tom. No wonder the swan selected it. I recently got chatting to an old school mate, Louise, who tried to remind me of a sleepover we had with 15 rugby players from Sutton and epsom rugby club back in the 90s where we're about 17 or 18 now 42 she said tom was there and i wonder if he remembers because i don't he's not said anything about what you might have got up to she just said you were there anyway keep up the good work i know more about bollocks than i ever thought I would, so thank you. Wow. Yeah. A sleepover, aren't you?

Yeah. First of all, let's not start with a sleepover. Let's start around the area to ascertain whether you might have been there. No, no, no. I know the area. No, no, no. But I don't mean the actual geographical area. I mean, were you involved in this Sutton and Epsom rugby club?

No, that's the thing. I was more of a football guy. So we can rule this out, can't we? But then, you know what? Moving on from Anonymous' email, I'd hang around with different groups. And I will tell you now, man, if there's one thing that Big T loved in my teens,

throughout my teens, and actually into my early 20s, was a sweet, sweet sleepover. I can imagine that. Just the people that go, who is that guy? Because I'm pretty sure he's not associated or affiliated

with a rugby club at all. I know, it's just Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom. He just got really excited when he heard we were having a sleepover. You know what? I just turned up for this.

I'd probably, number one, been friends with one of the girls who'd arranged a sleepover. Sure know what? I just turned up for this. I'd probably, number one, be friends with one of the girls who'd arranged a sleepover. Sure. Well, that's more likely. But also, I was a bit like, I was the king of the sleepovers. What does that mean?

Man, I would, like, at a sleepover, I was the guy you wanted. I'd make sure everyone stayed up late. I'd fucking always be funny. I'd sort of always be cracking jokes. I'd always have some games, you know. You know what I take from that is,

is that at a sleepover, you would force people to stay awake listening to your bullshit. Hey, like, you'd have a dance-off or a bit of like a sing-along or whatever. Two o'clock in the morning, everyone's trying to get to sleep. Right, who's ready for a dance-off?

Come on in. No, this is the thing about sleepovers, Rom. No one fucking sleeps, bro. Yeah, sure. Right? Sure,

sure. That's exactly the sort of thing I can imagine you saying as well. Right? No, I used to love them.

So, the chances are, I would have known someone from the rugby club and they might have mentioned a sleepover around like a girl's house and I probably would have

rolled along. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was, yeah, I was probably probably sort of i'd like to think i was on speed dial for people with the sleepovers sleepover vibes in the sort of 90s so yeah emma louise yeah um i you know man i don't want to sound like give it the bigger but yeah i attended hundreds of sleepovers throughout the 90s and early parts of the noughties so uh yes you are very cool do you know one of the things that um that happened to me when i was a kid i was sort of slightly nervous about about saying what it's such a prick. Love you. One of the things that I got into a habit of doing when I was at school was,

oh, God, this is so embarrassing, but I can't remember what age I was. And you're going to question me about the age when I tell you what I'm about to tell you. I used to go around a mate's house for a sleepover, or just to stay the night. You know, you'd have a play date. There's two different things, mate, because, yeah'd you'd stay over at someone's sleepovers yeah different man yeah so staying over at someone's house i would often end up getting really homesick and then and then whoever's parents it was would have to take me home at like 11 or 12 o'clock at night because i'd be crying how old'll be then like 30 i knew you

uh maybe like 10 oh that's not too bad that's not is that all right i'm gonna tell you this now and i because i don't know if this person listens to this and i won't name names in this situation because we both unusual unusual for you but someone we both you want to just name them we can beep it out someone we both know right okay know, right? Okay. At my stag day, had this thing where they wanted to go home. And that was at my stag day. So that was over. On the stag day?

Yeah. What are you talking about? They got really like, they just didn't feel part of it. So they wanted to go home. But you know what? I was in no situation. Hold on. so how long

was your stag three days okay so which day was this this was like I think it was probably day one

day two morning of day two morning of day two so the night the night's not gone the way they would have liked no

and so they're ready to go but you know what this is one thing I was always really good at as you know the king of the sleepover

whatever I don't want to fucking give myself a name or whatever but no but you've given it to yourself about four or five times

but if I was at a sleepover and I saw someone suffering or someone who didn't you know who was upset or whatever at whatever age

I would be no I would be like look man or look sister this fucking thing is the coolest thing you'll ever be. You know, this is fucking, we're living our best life right now. You need to enjoy this.

And like, yeah, and just try and talk about it. If you're feeling bad, you know this thing that you're trying to escape from and you find horrible, just so you know, this is the best your life is ever going to be. Hopefully you can use that as some form of reassurance. No, but just try to assure someone that actually they that as some form of reassurance just trying to assure someone that actually they're in the midst of something actually the rest of your life will be worse than this no you're right just just letting someone know that actually like you know

because you know one day we're going to fucking have to get jobs you'll be married and there won't be any more sleepovers no you know it's like imagine like if you're fucking you live on a beach right and every day it's fucking wavy right and it's the beautiful fucking surfing beach and then someone came to you not tap you on the show and said you know three years time there's not going to be any fucking waves at this beach you go out surfing every day wouldn't you yeah you're right you're absolutely right there we go that's how i feel about sleepovers maybe we should do like a big sleepover with some of the get some of our favorite people on this fuck off now i know even you don't believe that we should do that even you don't believe

should we do one more yeah okay dear my sweet sweet souls hope you're all well and enjoying the sunny weather here in the uk so let's get straight into it i've recently got my first tattoo which i thought about for a long time and really wanted for a long time. I've always been a big fan of tattoos. My girlfriend, on the other hand, hates them. And I knew this, so I didn't include her in the planning process.

I already discussed it with her. I know this isn't cool and I should have been more open with her as it could have been seen as a big deal. But I felt it wasn't necessary to include someone else in the decision. I knew I'd inevitably be talked out of to save the house on an argument.

On arriving home, having got my tattoo, she went apeshit. I'm still really happy with the tattoo, how it looks and what it means to me. She eventually calmed down and accepted it, but said I could never get any more, even though I want to. So I probably will. Any tips or experience on dealing with something like this? Surely I full-sale what to do with my appearance.

Love the podcast and would love to buy you a pint, and I'm sure Tom will take you on that. Big love and a hoot hoot howl to you all cheers well what I would say to you mate is your girlfriend has no fucking right to tell you what to get on your body

in the slightest and you shouldn't even listen I've told the swan whenever I'm getting tattoos done, but not as a, have I got authorization to do this? As a,

when I come home today, I'm going to have public enemy on my arm. And Lisa doesn't mind, doesn't care. I think, you know, I'll be honest with you. If I got a face tattoo,

I imagine she'd probably try. And if I was thinking about getting one, you've got a face tattoo, haven't you? On your arm, of Richard Pryor? No, a tattoo on my face getting one you've got a face tattoo haven't you on your arm of Richard Pryor no a tattoo on my face

not a tattoo of a face alright sorry I said that so so needlessly angrily I'm sorry about that Tom no but it's your body isn't it as you say

you could do but then also Lisa's probably quite into tattoos. It gives you quite an edgy look. Really, no? No. I don't think she is, no. Well, she must be.

She's still with you. You've got tattoos now. I would say you've crossed the point now to be a tattoo guy. No, you are. Definitely. How many? You've got over 10 tattoos, haven't you? Yeah, I have got over 10.

So you're a tattoo guy. You've got a tattoo. Does it make me a tattoo guy? Yeah, you've got tattoos ten tattoos, haven't you? Yeah, I have got a few. So you're a tattoo guy. You've got a tattoo. Does it make me a tattoo guy? Yeah, you've got tattoos, I'd say, at least on what, like, fucking four of your limbs have got tattoos on, right? Yeah. There we go.

Yeah. So you've got no limbs without tattoos. Apart from your penis, you've got no limbs without tattoos. No, got one on there. So, yeah, you're definitely a tattoo guy. I just think, look, I think... Tattoo wrong. First of all, I don't think I definitely a tattoo guy I just think look I think first of all I don't think I'm a tattoo guy

you know what your nickname could be? Inky Inky fuck off have you got any tattoos? I've got that one on my wrist oh yeah I remember that sorry would you ever have any more? yeah I've thought about it I've thought about it now and again but it just has to be right.

I wanted to get a nice bit there, like a shoulder piece, but I'm just really, I'm just don't know what to get. Maybe sort of tattoo artists out there, ping me over some designs. That'd be great. If you,

could you please email wolfowpod at gmail.com with any suggestions for Tom. And then what we'll do is we'll put her up on Instagram and the one that gets the most votes, Tom will get yes yeah yeah okay are you committing to that i'll get it somewhere on my body yeah okay fine great great there you go um anyway listen in answer your question she's got no right to tell you what to do um i still think you should tell her when

you're getting another one i don't think this secret going off and getting it done and coming back is the way forward i think you need to explain to her that what you get tattooed on your body is not really up to her and just be upfront about it would be my advice to you i couldn't agree anymore and also what you need to just say so it's just say like in a really nice way but it's like what is your problem with tattoos is there a deeper reason why you don't like them yeah do you find them disgusting repellent maybe get one maybe get one done together or get one of her like a little couple things get a face tattoo of her across your like sort of like stomach like peering up at you yeah so that's a really nice creepy horrible idea have a think

tom yes sir we've come to the end of that. Do you think I've been quite, do you think I've been spiky on this? I like it when you're like this. I like it when you're like, you've got that little sort of. Yeah, but like what? What do you mean?

No, you know, you've got that sort of vibey little way about you. It's sort of, yeah, it's fun. It's like, you sort of like, yeah, it's nice. It's progressive.

No, just a quick thing. I didn't manage to gather together all the delivery driver emails, but we will be doing that at some point next week. And also, Romesh will put up the survey that he promised to put up. Yeah, I'm going to do that right now, which is Thursday. We're recording this Thursday, so it'll be up in a sec. So by the time you hear this, twill be up.

Yes, and we will be getting ready to go to England versus Scotland. Mm-hmm. Yeah, where drink shall be drank and laughter should be mirthed. Oh, El Vino will flow. See you next time, Wolf and Alcats. See you next time. Yo. Yo.

If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.